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Secret Smile

By: wanderingknight



Karla opened the door to her apartment and discovered the first rose. She smiled a secret little smile, laid her briefcase to one side and bent to retrieve it. As she did, she spied the second rose a little further down the hall.

She kicked off her shoes and followed the train of scattered petals and flowers, gathering the crimson blooms into a bouquet. The trail led to her bedroom, to a gold box bound with a black ribbon sitting on her bed.

"Oh, Jack . . . what have you got planned this time?" she asked to the air.

"Actually," said a low male voice from behind her open door, "I thought we'd go dancing."

Karla spun on her stockinged feet at the unexpected sound, roses cascading from her hands. "Jesus Christ, Jack you scared the living hell outta me!"

Jack didn't move from his position lounging against the wall, merely raised an expressive eyebrow at her outburst. Karla swallowed hard, suddenly mindful of the smallest sign of his displeasure.

"I mean . . ." she swallowed again, "you startled me, Sir." Her eyes flickered down from his face to the red petals scattered at her feet.

He smiled broadly and cupped a strong hand against her cheek, raising her gaze to his. His dark eyes sparked with hidden mischief. As always, his smile infected her, filling her with happiness. He nodded towards the bed and the box, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Open it.

Karla stepped back from him and turned to the bed. She tugged the ribbon loose and coiled it neatly, eliciting an exasperated sigh from Jack.

"Just once, I'd like to see you rip open a present and not save the wrapping!" He tried to sound stern but his eyes and lips were smiling as he scolded her.

She smiled even broader as she lifted the dress from the box. The flared skirt, the black velvet . . . it was the dress. "Oh Jack . . . Sir . . . you remembered!"

"After the big deal you made about it in the mall last week, I was unlikely to forget, little one."

"But the price, Sir . . . it was -" 

Jack stepped forward and silenced her protests with a finger to her lips. "The price was worth every penny for the look in your eyes when you saw it. Now, put it on. We're leaving shortly."

Karla smiled against his finger and obediently laid the dress aside so she could remove her skirted suit. Jack settled back against the dresser to watch her strip to her bra, panties, and stockings. He stopped her as she bent to pick up the dress from the bed.

"I'm afraid the open back means you will have to forgo the bra, pet. And those stockings . . . I'm afraid they simply won't do for this dress." He offered another box to her, this smaller one also gold and bound in black ribbon.

She opened this box as carefully as the first, a second coiled ribbon joining the first on her dresser. Jack merely rolled his eyes with an exaggerated sigh. She opened the folded tissue and withdrew the silk stockings from within. She held them to the light, almost disbelieving how thin and light the material was.

"There's more in the box, pet. They don't make them like this with elastic tops."

Karla carefully laid the wispy stockings to one side, as if they'd blow away. Under the folded tissue paper was a black garter belt; nothing fancy, just simple lace that would lie flat under her dress. Her eyes shone as she looked up at him.

Jack pushed himself off the dresser and stepped to the door. "I'll leave you to get ready, pet. We're leaving in 30 minutes. It goes without saying what you will be wearing tonight, I suppose?" Karla nodded happily and Jack smiled and nodded back to her. "Good." He left her to her preparations

Karla appeared in the doorway to the living room right at the 25 minute mark by Jack's watch. Her long blonde hair was swept up and bound by the ribbon from the gift box. She positively glowed with happiness as she posed for him. "Do you like it, Sir?" 

"Like it? I love it, pet. You are a beauty . . . a treasure."

Karla giggled like a school girl and spun for him, the bottom of the dress flaring out to reveal the tops of the stockings and the curve of a bare cheek. Jack's eyes followed her motion, and raised an inquisitive brow. "No panties, little one?"

"Sir, you told me to wear what you brought me. You did not buy me panties to go with the outfit." Karla hesitated, suddenly unsure. "Did . . . did I do something wrong, Sir?"

"Just the opposite, pet," he replied with a smile. "In fact, it's perfect for your final gift." He removed his hands from behind his back and presented Karla with a final golden box, this one barely covering his palm.

Karla took it from his outstretched palm and slit the paper with a manicured nail. Smiling up at him through a strand of hair falling across her face, she ripped the paper from the box, eliciting a chuckle from Jack.

Inside the box was a small, rounded object, covered in soft silicone or rubber. It looked about the size and shape of an egg, maybe a little narrower across the short axis. As she touched her fingertip to it it buzzed and vibrated, startling her so much she almost dropped the box. Her eyes darted to her smiling Master.

Jack opened his other hand to show her the small remote control, barely the size of a box of matches, with a single button. He pressed the switch and the toy buzzed again in Karla's palm.

"A new toy for you, pet. Lift your skirt."

Karla swallowed hard but obeyed him. Her fingers toyed with the warm velvet as Jack stepped close, taking the toy from her other hand. He reached down to cup his palm against her bare-shaved mound, pausing to enjoy the heat radiating from her body. Karla moaned low, his touch sparking through her as it always did. His finger slid between the soft folds of her pussy and she closed her eyes, inhaling sharply. He slid the digit back and forth along the length of her slit, teasing her.

"Please, Sir. . .you'll make me wet before we go out," she whispered.

Jack leaned in and whispered against the seashell curves of her ear. "Little one, you are going to be wet enough for me to slide this toy inside you. And I assure you, I intend to make you wet all night."

Karla sagged against his body as he teased her. His finger slid into her, curling against the front wall of her wet pussy, pressing gently against the rough, sensitive spot there and stroking. Karla let her skirt fall over his wrist and gripped his upper arm in both hands, her breathing quickening. He slid a second finger into her alongside the first and her breath changed to a sharp hiss of pleasure. Jack pulled his fingers back a little and spread them apart.

Jack's other hand disappeared under the ebon velvet folds of her dress. He pulsed the switch on and off as he pressed the toy into her tight pussy. The soft vibe slipped in easily and he released the button as she moaned again. Jack let the dress settle back agaoinst her hips and offered his slick digits to Karla with a smile. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and lifted his hand to her mouth. She purred in her throat as she tasted herself from his offered hand, sucking and licking him clean of her juices.

"I called the doorman, so I'm sure the taxi is waiting by now. Let's go, pet." Jack smiled at Karla's slightly glazed expression and helped her on with her coat.

"But. . .Sir, the toy -"

"Yes. The toy," said Jack, cutting her off. "The toy is where it belongs, and where it is going to stay for the evening."

The cab ride to the restaurant was surreal for Karla. Although Jack made small talk with the driver and left the remote alone, Karla was acutely aware of the toy inside her, moving within her walls as she shifted against the seat. She concentrated on her breathing, contracting her muscles to keep the toy in place but this only seemed to make it move inside her. Every bump and pothole sent a new thrill through her body, her tensing folds slick with growing moisture. She was hardly aware of anything Jack said. She was aware of his fingertips stroking her inner thigh, his hand out of the driver's view on her knee.

Savoir Faire was a local restaurant popular with young professionals both for the food and for its well-trained staff. A folded twenty from Jack to the maître d' ensured an excellent table and prompt seating despite the Friday evening crowd. He held out Karla's chair, left two menus and assured Jack the waiter would be along shortly.

As Karla scanned the menu, the toy inside her gave a short, almost tentative pulse. Her eyes snapped to Jack, but he was studying the menu intently, ignoring her. His fingers were curled in a loose fist around the remote. Karla saw his finger move again, and this time the toy buzzed for a few seconds before turning off. Karla breathed deeply to control herself, and as her own fingers gripped the edge of the table, Jack's mouth twitched in the faintest of smiles.

As usual, Jack ordered for both of them. Equally as typical, the meal was excellent, his wine choice perfectly complimenting the food. What was not typical was the exquisite torture Jack put Karla through as the meal progressed. He built her up gradually, increasing the intensity and backing off over and over, several times bringing her right to the brink of release only to put the remote aside for a few moments. Jack looked up from his meal at one point to see her staring at the black square of plastic on the table, as if by will alone she could make it work.

When the bill came, Jack slid his Visa to the waiter and signed quickly, barely glancing at the total. The tip would be generous; they ate often here and he wanted to make sure the staff treated him well.

The waiter pulled out Karla's chair for her and she stood on weak knees. Jack stepped to her side quickly, placing a hand to steady her. His fingers brushed against skin exposed by the low-cut back of the dress. The touch was electric to Karla. The hour of teasing without physical contact had left her skin sensitive to the slightest caress. She bit her bottom lip to stifle the moan that threatened to spill from her throat and pressed against him, clinging to his arm.

Jack made no comment about her state, but as they walked to the door the toy throbbed and hummed inside her in a steady, erotic pulse. Karla's breathing was becoming erratic, and her fingers were curled so tightly into his arm Jack was sure she was leaving bruises.

Karla's head swam as they walked. Her world was shrinking down to the sensations Jack was sending through her body. Her pussy was molten under the black velvet; she was so wet she could feel rivulets of her juices flowing down her inner thigh to the top of the stockings.

The dance club Jack had in mind was only a block from the restaurant, and as the air was still warm from the day, Jack insisted they walk. With each click of her heel on the sidewalk, Jack's finger twitched on the remote, until it seemed a shock went through her entire body with each impact of her foot. By the time they reached the club, Jack's arm was around her waist to steady her swaying form.

There was a lineup at the door, as usual. Trends was one of the city's hottest clubs, and a long wait was expected on any weekend night. Jack ignored the others behind the burgundy velvet rope, walked right to the head of the line and shook hands with a bouncer he recognized from previous visits. When the man glanced down at the folded bill Jack had left behind, he was suddenly all smiles. Without further ado Jack and Karla were inside.

Just inside the door was a coat check staffed by a pretty, if bored-looking, blonde girl who traded their coats for a claim ticket. The music inside seemed to be almost shaking the walls but here in the foyer of the club it was almost subsonic. That is, until someone opened the door to the dance floor and the sound spilled out like a wave, cut off just as fast when the door shut behind them.

Jack pulled Karla aside by the hallway to the bathrooms and pressed his lips to her ear. His breath was hot against her skin and his voice was as low as the music would allow.

"When we go in there, little one, we're going to separate. I want you to dance with whoever asks you. You are not to say 'no' to anyone. I'm going to be watching you. Toying with you." He emphasised this last point with a long burst of vibration inside her.

Karla moaned low against him and almost sobbed. "Yes, Sir. Please, Sir. . .can I cum, Sir?"

"Cum? Already, little one?" Jack chuckled darkly into her ear. "I have not begun to toy with you yet. You are not to cum until I give you permission. Am I clear?" Jack let the toy go for slow ten count and released the button

"Clear, Sir. Ye-yes Sir," she stuttered. Karla's eyes were shut so tightly tears pressed between her dark lashes. The sudden increase of sound in the foyer meant someone had opened the door and entered the club. By the time Karla opened her eyes and realized it had been Jack, he was gone. She smoothed her dress down against her stomach, very conscious of how wet her inner thighs felt. Steeling herself, she stepped into Trends' main room.

The thumping bass that had been more felt than heard outside was omnipresent in the dark club. The rhythmic beat of the music seemed to throb in Karla's bones, and combined with the hypnotic pulsing of the multicoloured lights and strobe, she felt almost a compulsion to move to the music. Her eyes darted left and right, trying to find Jack, even a hint of where he was, but the shifting rainbow of shadows made it impossible.

It wasn't long before a man took her hand and pointed to the centre of the room. Karla started to shake her head on instinct but a sudden throbbing reminder from her unseen watcher changed her mind. She smiled and let the man pull her onto the dance floor.

The crowd pressed in on all sides, pushing them together. Karla moved and spun on the floor, searching the crowd to no avail. As the stranger stepped right to her and put his arms around her the vibrator began to throb in tune to the music. She faltered a step, and half fell into his embrace, her hips bucking hard almost on their own accord. Her breath was a husky pant against his neck.

The stranger smiled at his sudden stroke of luck, unaware of the true source of her arousal. The smell of her sex and desire was sweeter than any perfume she could have worn. Karla felt him growing hard against her as she pressed to him. Then suddenly she realized what she was doing and pushed back from him, biting her lip and keeping him at arms length. He leaned in again as if to kiss her, and she squirmed back out of his embrace. The stranger's face fell, and while she couldn't hear him over the music she was sure he mouthed the word "tease" before he stalked away.

The vibrator was relentless now, driving her closer and closer to the edge of release, to the very edge of reason. She leaned against a column on the side of the dance floor, arms crossed against her chest, her pussy contracting and shifting around the insane dancing toy within.

She staggered off the dance floor almost into the arms of a woman leading her girlfriends the other way. They were smiling, happy, and obviously enjoying more than one drink this evening. The group of women laughed and swept Karla back into the centre of the room. They were younger then her, probably barely old enough to be in the club, but they were pretty, well-dressed and tanned, exactly the type of person the management loved. The "beautiful people" brought the crowds after all. The floor was even more crowded than before and the girls pressed their bodies together, bumping and grinding to the relentless bass as Karla's unseen tormenter again pulsed the toy in time to the music.

Her knees were jell-O by the time the music slowed to the point she could extract herself. She stumbled to the bar for a drink, pushing her way past the crowd. Just as she got to the front , the bartender placed a vodka and 7-up with a twist in front of her. "From the gentleman," he shouted over the music and pointed to the end of the bar. Jack smiled at her across the dimly lit room and toasted her silently with his own drink, the toy quiet for a brief moment as their eyes met. The crowd jostled her aside and by the time Karla got to the end of the bar, Jack was gone, melted back into the crowd. She finished her drink quickly, and laid the empty glass on the tray of a passing waitress.

The alcohol and sexual energy coursing through her left her almost disconnected as she watched the crowd, desperate to see her Master again. The vibrating egg was a constant reminder of his presence even if she couldn't find him.

The next man didn't even ask, just grabbed her arm and spun her against him. The music had shifted to a more Latin beat, and this dark-skinned man clearly knew how to take advantage of it. He pressed her body against his, dark eyes holding hers like a captive animal. Karla knew she was close to losing control, could feel it slipping from her like ice in the sun. The strong male scent of her partner, so achingly close made her grind against him. Gentle pressure of a hand on her back kept her close to him as they moved to the music. Gradually his hand slid down to cup against her ass, and Karla was powerless to stop him. Her body was on autopilot, driven by her invisible puppetmaster.

When she first felt his fingers on the bare skin of her upper thigh, she jumped as if struck. She wormed closer to him, desperate for the contact. Karla pressed to him as he caressed her bared flesh, grinding her pussy against his leg through the velvet skirt. She felt him breathe in sharply as his fingers discovered the hot flow of her need over parted thighs. She was close . . . so close . . . when suddenly her partner was gone.

When Karla's eyes opened, her partner was holding his hands up to ward off blows from a latina in a tight vinyl skirt. The petite, honey-skinned woman was screaming at him in Spanish and striking him with her purse. She turned with a flick of her black hair to Karla, continued her tirade, and raised a hand to slap the woman she had caught with her man.

Jack's hand closed around the latina's wrist from behind. She spun on her heels to face him, but Jack pushed her back and stepped between her and Karla, taking his pet in his arms. Karla sobbed in relief at his appearance, her arms clinging around his waist as if he would vanish if she let go.

Jack quickly led her to the door and steadied her against the wall as he retrieved their coats. Karla kept both of her hands wrapped so tight on Jack's steadying arm that her nails drew tiny drops of blood. Wrapping her coat over her shoulders, he took her back onto the street. Karla's arms slid around his neck, suddenly the only thing holding her up as her knees gave out.

"Please . . . p-p-please Sir . . . th-the t-toy," she whimpered into his ear.

In the fight and their ensuing exodus the remote had been forgotten in Jack's pocket. All that time the vibrator had been buzzing inside Karla. In her already barely under control state, it was taking all of her effort, every fibre of her being not to cum, to remain obedient to her Master.

Jack switched off the toy but is seemed to make no difference. Karla's hips pumped against him wantonly, her voice tiny and strained in his ear. "Please Sir, let me cum, Sir, please, god, please Sir I need to cum, Sir, please."

He looked around, spied an alley and half carried, half pushed her into the darkness. He shoved her back against a rough brick wall and pushed her skirt up to her waist. Jack's hand pressed to her shaven mound and he gasped.Karla's pussy was literally dripping against his hand, the tops of her stockings a sodden mess. Her hips thrust against his exploring fingers, tiny mewls of pleasure from her hoarse throat. 

"PLEASE, Sir . . . I . . . c-ca-can't hold back," she cried. Her hands were tangled in his hair, trying to force his body against her.


Secret Smile



Jack's hands fumbled at his pants, freeing his cock. He lifted one of Karla's legs to his waist and positioned the head of his cock against her slick folds. He groaned aloud as her liquid heat slid over his thick, swollen head.

"Now, my slut," Jack growled through gritted teeth, "cum for me." With that, he turned on the vibrator.

Karla's groan increased in volume until is was a wordless scream. Her body a tensioned cable finally cut free, the explosion rocked her core, her pussy gushing anew with her hot release. Just as the first wave had washed through her, Jack speared his erection into her, driving the toy deeper into her and slamming the breath from her body as he crushed her against the wall.

The vibrator was pressed against the deepest recesses of her pussy again and again as Jack took her, hard, fast, brutally. Orgasm after orgasm tore through her until her body sang with pleasure and pain. He pistoned against her, the intensity building and building until her fogged brain finally let go and she blacked out for a moment.

Jack fought his own release as long as he could, wanting . . . needing to prolong their pleasure. The vise of her spasming cunt milked him tighter and tighter until he gave in, releasing his own control and just fucking her. With each hard thrust he felt the toy buzzing against the sensitive tip of his cock, pushing him closer and closer to the inevitable.

He slammed against her one final time, and his cock pulsed within her, flooding her fluttering walls with his hot seed. Karla's hips jerked once more and were still, the toy snug against him inside her. Jack fumbled for the remote and clicked it off, breathing hard against her throat, unwilling . . . unable to move.

"Good girl. My special, wonderful girl," he murmured against her throat, spent.

Karla's eyes fluttered open. Her Master was pleased; Karla purred in pleasure, smiling her secret smile. 



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 01



A little note here before you read. If you are looking for a sex filled story, paragraph after paragraph, this is not it. As a matter of fact this first chapter contains no sex. Will this story contain sex at some point? Yes. Graphic Sex? Yes! But this will be a novel type of a story. It will be uploaded in chapters as I saunter through the world of BDSM, romance and life with a little mystery and drama thrown in. I hope to upload a minimum of one chapter a week, more if I can, so check back regularly if you are enjoying the story. If you are looking for just the sex, they will be marked with * after the chapter number (Chapter Two*) 

If you have read some of my other stories on this site, this story will not be like those. Those were fledgling beginnings at my attempt to hone my writing abilities. This is, I hope, a culmination of that effort. 

I hope you enjoy this story, I hope it both excites you and entertains you. As always I love constructive feedback. It is because of this site and some friends that I had the courage to write a mainstream novel which if you note the dates of my previous posts to this one you will see that there was a long time in between them and this. I'm back here now to show my growth. 

CJT 

***** 

Secret Smiles and Three Little Words 

Chapter One 

Alex watched from her table next to the window, the sun warming her back. She knew this is why cats lay in windows, the warmth that the sun gave you. It gave her a comforting feeling to feel the warmth on her like a hug. Her sketch pad sat on her lap, her charcoal pencil hovering just above the paper. The drawing was near completion. Alex watched through the tops of her lashes, her head down as to not look like she was looking at her. Although, she wondered how anyone could not look at the woman. 

The woman's porcelain white skin, her high cheekbones and raven black hair gave her an overall regal look. Her hair was down in soft tight curls that famed her face when she lowered her head. But the woman's eyes, oh my! They were a soft grey that laughed when she looked at you. And the woman had caught Alex looking at her multiple times as she sketched her likeness on the paper, or tried to capture her likeness at least. 

Alex looked down at her paper and it didn't appear she had done the woman justice! Alex squeezed her lips together to hold back the laugh as yet another man nearly tripped while doing a double take of the exotically stunning woman. 

The woman held her coffee cup in front of her lips pretending not to notice the slip up, her cup just millimeters from her lips blocking their exquisite thin lines from the poor man. Alex saw the smile even though it didn't lift more than the corner of her mouth. 

Alex went back to some of the details of the woman's appearance to refine them as the woman had blocked her view of her mouth enough that she didn't want to continue without looking at her lips fully again. She went back to the bracelet around her wrist. Nothing extravagant. Just a simple, elegant charm bracelet in sliver it appeared. One small charm hung from it, it was black in color and reminded her of the yen and yang symbol. Instead of the two chasing waves there were three on this one. 

Alex put the finishing touches on the bracelet wondering what the emblem stood for. Judging by the overall appearance of the woman before her she surmised it had something to do with beauty and wealth. Some sort of love symbol perhaps? Was it a goddess symbol of some sort? Was this woman that arrogant? Alex slid her phone to her and tapped up Google. If Google didn't know, then nobody would. 

Typing in "Yen and Yang with three waves" a multitude of non-help was given to her. She tapped over to the images icon and looked at pictures. Again a multitude of non-help. C'mon Google! 

She was just about to shut it off when at the very bottom of the fifth page of images she saw the symbol. She clicked on it and it flipped to a full size version. Thanks Google! The bottom of the page caused her breath to draw in sharply in surprise. No, that couldn't be the same symbol. 

Back to the Google homepage. This time she typed in "BDSM symbols". She shook her head and laughed at herself for even thinking that was the same symbol. She checked the woman's wrist again as the page loaded. 

Tapping the first item on the list supplied by Google she found a web page on BDSM. Scrolling down she found the symbol again. It most definitely was the same symbol. The page went into detail on explaining the significance of the symbol and the lifestyle choice itself. 

Dammit Google! You are playing tricks on me! Alex scoffed. She tossed her phone back on the table for the joke it was playing on her. There was no way that elegant woman was part of that type of raunchy lifestyle. Whips, chains, leather masks? Bondage, wax and crops? No, no, no! This woman was pampered. This woman was well taken care of. This woman was spoiled! Everything about her appearance screamed elegance. 

She wasn't degraded with various torture devices. She wasn't treated like a street whore. She wasn't mistreated or treated like shit. She wasn't beaten for someone else's amusement! Someone looked after this woman and looked after her very well. Alex went back to looking at her as the beauty put her coffee cup down. 

Alex re-evaluated her. The tall proper way she sat. Her back straight, her head up. Chin tilted slightly upward. Legs gently crossed. No, this was not someone who was treated like shit. This woman was pampered. This woman was loved! So either Google is having a laugh at her expense, or the woman had no idea what she was wearing. Perhaps she wore it for the mere fact it was pretty to look at. That had to be it. Would the woman be mortified with the truth of the dark symbol? 

The grey eyes shifted to the door as he came in, the smile tipped on the elegant woman's face as she dropped her head embarrassedly it seemed. Her chin nearly touching her chest, her grey eyes on the table in front of her. Her hands placed palms up on the tops of her thighs. The man placed a gentle kiss to the side of her temple then dragged his lips to her ear and whispered something in it. The woman smiled softly and said something just as softly. Three little words. 

The man made his way to the counter to place his order. The woman left her head down at the table. She didn't move to pick up her cup. She didn't re-cross her legs. She sat there with her head down and that little smile. It was as if a private joke was being had between her and the new man. 

Alex frowned. Her head down like that changed the angles. Now she would have to wait even longer to finish her drawing. She tapped the end of her pencil on the paper in a frustrated tempo. She looked at the woman and saw her returning the look now. A soft glance from her head bowed but it warmed Alex. It wasn't just a woman scanning the room. The woman was looking at her. 

The man made his way back and the woman's eyes were quickly back on the table as he sat down. Alex watched the woman carefully now. Something about her had changed. What was it? Alex looked down at her drawing. Then back to the woman. The man was now pulling apart his newspaper, he opened a section and placed it in front of the woman, it was hard to tell from where she was sitting but it looked like the same crossword puzzle Alex was working on before she abandoned it to sketch the woman. He put a pen on it then placed his hand on the elegant woman's hand. He pulled out his phone and began to scan through various screens, his phone in his left hand, his right gently placed on the woman's, drawing his fingers across its delicate skin. 

The woman picked up the pen and began to work. Nothing was said between them, it was if they needed no communication. As if this was a regular occurrence. Well not in this coffee shop. Alex was a regular here and never seen either of them in here before! It was a running joke with Alex and the baristas that she should just take an application and work here as she was here all the time anyway. 

Alex continued to wait for the woman to raise her head. She went back to her hair and continued there. It was beginning to frustrate her that the woman wouldn't lift her head. Alex fought the urge to stand up and yell, "Lift your damn head so I can finish!" 

After a few minutes the woman whispered something to the man next to her, but she didn't lean in to whisper in his ear lovingly. She said it while looking at the table. The man smiled and nodded his agreement. The elegant woman stood slowly faced him and whispered something again. Again three words. Then left when the man only nodded. 

He lifted his head when the woman was halfway to the restroom. His frown wasn't hid, as he clinched his jaw causing the muscles to tighten under his skin. Alex gave him a good solid once over. He was handsome. His face darkened, his dark eyes sharp. He had a Mediterranean look about him. Greek possibly. His hair was dark with splatters of grey. Alex huffed a laugh. Perfect looking couple. The laugh drew his eyes to her. She lost her smile and looked down at her drawing quickly dropping her head. 

That was odd, Alex said to herself. She responded the same way the woman had upon his arrival. Averting her eyes from him and dropping her head. Very odd. 

The woman returning to the table brought her eyes up to see the man back to his phone as the woman sat next to him. He leaned over to whisper to her again. The soft hidden smile was lost completely as he spoke to her. Her lips opened slightly and her face paled believe it or not. How does a pale white turn paler? 

Alex looked down at the couple's hands, he wasn't tracing circles on the back of her hand as he had done earlier. Now his index finger was tapping gently on the top. The man's face wasn't angry, but it most certainly wasn't happy. It was firm as he whispered. Again three little words she spoke back before she rose quickly faced him briefly said another three little words before returning back to the bathroom where she had just been. 

Alex watched her all the way back, before her walk was slow and gentle. Her step was firm this time. Purposeful. Earlier she could have been strolling through the park. Now it appeared that walk was trying to beat an incoming rainstorm! 

Alex went back to the man and he was looking at her again. Again she dropped her head and she couldn't explain it. It was as if the man had some sort of Jedi mind power that forced her head to drop when his eyes were on her. 

She went back to looking through the top of her lashes. He was handsome, his white button down oxford untucked and hanging against his athletic frame. The top couple of buttons were undone giving him a casual look. His blue jeans were faded but designer faded. Expensive. His casual loafers screamed it's my day off from the power world of lawyers, money and mergers, but they were impeccably clean and flawless telling her they were either new or he rarely wore them. 

The woman returned and went to the man's side. Her fist was clutched around something as she gently tucked whatever it was into the man's pocket. She then returned to her seat and sat with her face flushed a slight rosy pink. Alex looked to the man's pocket, there was soft white satin cloth showing just slightly from his pocket as his seated position didn't allow the elegant woman to put whatever it was in fully. 

Alex's mind raced, her face flushed and her jaw dropped slightly as she realized they were panties! The woman had just placed her panties in the man's pocket! Oh this regular visit to the coffee shop just became irregular! It also seemed the heat in the coffee shop was turned up a few degrees. 

The woman sat with her hands palm up on her thighs again. Her head tilted down, her eyes fixated on the table itself. She made no move to work on her crossword puzzle. Finally the man touched her hand again, drawing his thumb across her knuckles. It was only then did the woman lift her other hand and began to do her crossword puzzle again. 

Alex watched the couple, they didn't speak to one another. They didn't give off any body language like they were angry with one another. He gently touched her throughout. He scanned things on his phone. She did her crossword. After twenty minutes he leaned over and kissed her temple lovingly and said goodbye and left her there at the table. Before he left, he bought her another coffee and a muffin, again gently, lovingly, kissing her temple before disappearing out the door. 

Once he was gone, the woman lifted her head and went back to the way she was sitting before he arrived. Head up, chin slightly elevated. Alex was thankful, as she could now finish her drawing. 

Alex scanned her drawing after she finished the woman's perfect lips, shifting her eyes from the paper to the woman checking for mistakes. Alex wasn't satisfied with her drawing. She didn't think it was as beautiful as the woman before her, but she doubted Michelangelo, the creator of the Sistine Chapel, himself couldn't capture that beauty on paper. 

Alex pulled her art bag to her and pulled out a color pencil. She colored in the grey eyes carefully. It didn't match spot on, but then again, she doubted that color existed anywhere else on the planet other than the woman's soft featured face. It was close, and where most would be happy, Alex wasn't. She wanted them as perfect as the woman across from her. 

Pulling out the colors again she filled in the soft rose petal color of the woman's lips hoping to capture the essence of her. Alex clinched her jaw and fought the temptation to rip the picture from her pad and crumple the incorrect capture. It had been a long time since Alex had felt that way. She had prided herself in capturing people. She failed here. Perhaps the woman was just too elusive to capture. 

Alex flipped her book closed and stuffed it in her bag and stood. She wasted almost two hours on the woman and couldn't fully capture her. Alex made a living capturing people. This was an epic failure. 

Walking towards the exit Alex let out a deep exhale. She would try to muster the courage to dispose of the picture when she got back to her apartment. It was too pretty to destroy but not beautiful enough to be the elegance that sat two tables from her for two hours. 

"Were you able to finish?" the woman asked as she started to walk by her. 

Alex stopped suddenly at the soft voice. 

"I'm sorry?" Alex said, pretending to not understand the question. She hoped the panic that flooded her didn't betray her. 

"Your drawing," the woman smiled. "Did you finish it?" 

"Um," Alex stalled trying to judge the woman's reaction. Was she angry? Annoyed? Pleased? She couldn't tell. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be," the woman smiled trying to reassure her. 

"I try to stay invisible," Alex said apologetically. "Try and capture people as they go about their busy lives. To not disturb them." 

"May I?" the woman asked pointing towards Alex's sketch book. 

"Sure," Alex said with a shrug. "I failed, I didn't capture you the way I saw you." Alex explained handing her sketch book over. The woman took it gently brushing against Alex's fingers briefly with hers. But even that was enough to send electricity through Alex. 

"Please," the woman said with a smile and gesture for Alex to join her at the table. Alex sat and mustered a smile. Alex tried not to do her traditional slump of her body and tried to mimic the stiff upright stance of the woman seated next to her. It wasn't something she normally did and now it felt foreign. Like she was in some prim and proper home with strict rules to follow. It was uncomfortable, she felt like she did not belong doing it. 

"My name is Beth," the woman smiled extending her hand. 

"Alex," she smiled as she took it gently. 

"Short for Alexandria?" Beth asked, to which Alex nodded. She hated that name. Alexandria. A conquered city. She always went out of her way to make sure nobody called her that. Her stubborn attitude a gift from her father who didn't bow to anyone's wishes or expectations. He made his own, as did Alex. 

"It's Alex," she said firmly. Hoping it wasn't too firm. 

The woman didn't respond. She flipped slowly through the pages of the sketchbook instead. 

"You are very talented," Beth smiled as she scanned the pages. 

"Thank you," Alex replied. The woman paused at a picture. Her eyes searched the details. Alex looked down and was mortified. She had forgotten about the drawing done so long ago, forgotten in the book. 

The drawing depicted a tryst her roommate had. They had woken Alex with their noisy lovemaking and Alex felt compelled to draw it. She remembered sketching furiously in the semi dark room as her roommate moaned out into the mattress as she buried her face in it with her backside up as the man of the night pulled roughly against her hips slamming up to meet her with powerful thrust after powerful thrust. 

Beth let her fingers carefully feather down the page. Her fingertips tracing along the lines of the couple. 

"I'm sorry," Alex gasped. "I don't normally do porn!" 

"This isn't porn," Beth smiled as she continued to touch the bodies on the page. "This is erotica. There is a difference." She said firmly. "Porn has a different feel. Dirty." 

"I'm sorry if it offends you," Alex continued. 

"No, I'm not offended. It is doing exactly what erotica is supposed to do," Beth smiled as she touched Alex's hand gently sending waves of electricity through her. "It excites me." Alex lost her breath momentarily. Beth removed her gentle touch and turned the page slowly moving on. 

Landing on the last page of drawings, Beth saw her profile there on the paper. 

"Like I said, I didn't do you justice," Alex frowned as she looked from Beth to the picture again. 

"I disagree," Beth smiled tracing her outline. "I think it's spectacular!" Alex blushed. 

"Your attention to detail is phenomenal!" Beth gushed her praise. "You even have my bracelet here!" 

The mention of the bracelet caused Alex to take a better look at the jewelry. The charm on it. 

"It was too beautiful to not put it in," Alex admitted. Beth smiled. Again even her smile was regal looking. It wasn't big and toothy. It was soft and elegant with glimpses of her perfect white teeth. 

Alex squirmed as the woman checked every detail in her drawing. Always with the same soft smile. Alex looked more carefully at the charm on the bracelet. 

"Do you like it?" Beth's question brought Alex's eyes up to hers. 

"Oh yes," Alex blushed embarrassed to be caught. "What does the symbol mean?" Hoping that her voice didn't tell the woman she already knew of the raunchy truth. 

"It's complicated," Beth grinned, her smile flashing more teeth. 

The way Beth smiled told Alex that she knew the exact meaning of the symbol. BDSM. 

"You seemed intrigued?" Beth said more than asked. 

"A bit," Alex admitted embarrassedly. "You just don't fit the picture of that type of...," Alex didn't know what to call it so she left it hanging. 

"We call it a lifestyle," Beth helped her. 

"You don't look like you fit into that type of lifestyle," Alex said red faced. 

"Well let's make sure we are having the same conversation," Beth said. "What do you think it means?" She held up her wrist with the bracelet. 

Alex looked around then leaned in. 

"BDSM?" Alex whispered. Beth smiled. 

"Yes," Beth admitted. "What picture do you have of the lifestyle?" 

"Well," Alex panicked. She wasn't expecting to have to talk raunchy sex with the woman. 

"Please," Beth prodded gently. 

"I picture, whips?" Beth nodded slightly. "Chains?" Beth shrugged slightly. "Weird guys in latex and masks?" This caused Beth to giggle. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 01



"That's the outside stuff," Beth laughed. More of a smile now which caused Alex to relax a bit and fall into her more familiar slump. "What do you think happens?" 

"I think they degrade women?" Alex was trying her best not to insult the woman. Her voice was more of question. She really knew nothing other than pop culture references to it. Scenes from some movies, some porn. 

"Do I look degraded?" Beth asked with a tilt of her head. 

"No," Alex quickly said. "Not at all!" 

"The lifestyle has nothing to do with degradation," Beth assured her. "It has everything to do with pushing boundaries. Pleasure." Alex nodded. 

"It's confusing," Alex admitted. 

"To the outside world perhaps," Beth took a sip of her coffee. It seemed to Alex like Beth was done talking about it but Alex's interest was piqued. 

"So how does it work?" Alex asked. Beth took a deep breath. 

"Explaining without a proper frame of reference is difficult," Beth said turning slightly in her seat. "I'm a sub or submissive." 

"Ok," Alex nodded. That explained a lot. From the way she sat and dropped her head, to the panties in the pocket. 

"And the man that came in? Your husband?" Alex asked. 

"No," Beth smiled. "My Dom...my Dominant or owner. We aren't married." 

"Owner?" Alex asked, the alarm filling her voice. 

"Yes," Beth smiled. "It's not like it sounds, and then again it's exactly like it sounds." Alex furrowed her brow in confusion. 

"It's supposed to be enigmatic," Beth assured. 

"It is," Alex smiled with Beth. 

"I assure you, the mental picture you have is incorrect," Beth said. "I may be submissive, but I am very much empowered." Alex nodded. She didn't understand but she nodded anyway. "The only way to understand is to show you."' 

"Show me?" Alex gasped. 

"If you like," Beth nodded as she folded her hands in her lap properly. It reminded Alex to sit up straight. "I don't normally offer, as it's not my place. It belongs to my Sir." 

"Your 'Sir'?" Alex asked. 

"My Dom," Beth explained. 

"If you were to show me," Alex said leaning in. "How would it work?" 

"Well, first I would have to introduce you to my Dom, Gavin," Beth explained. "If he likes you and feels like taking you on, he would show you." 

"What would I have to do?" Alex asked trying to keep the excitement she was feeling from permeating her words. That made her think, why was she getting excited? She had never really thought of the lifestyle as it seemed against what she would be able to except. But this woman was not what she pictured as the type of woman in the lifestyle. 

"Whatever you are comfortable with," Beth smiled. "And then a tad more." 

"A tad more?" 

"Remember it's about pushing boundaries," Beth reminded. "It's about taking you to the edge of maddeningly excessive pleasure, balancing on the precipice of that pleasure, sometimes for an extended period of time." 

"Would I have to fuck him?" Alex wondered aloud softly. 

"This isn't about fucking," Beth said firmly. "This is about pleasure, both given and received. It's about control and letting go. It's about emotional and sexual release. Above all, it's about trust." 

"Trust?" 

"Trust." Beth nodded. "If you are a sub, you have to trust your Dom to take you to the edge of your limits." 

Alex looked down as her warming between her legs grew from a soft glow to a prickly fire. She was most certainly interested. The thoughts of being taken roughly appealed to her. Her initial thoughts of the lifestyle as Beth called it. She had a boyfriend tie her up once and while it turned her on to no end it ended in a disaster. 

"I always pictured it was about fucking," Alex shrugged. Beth smiled. 

"I'm not saying you aren't going to get fucked," Beth laughed. "I'm just saying it's not just about fucking." Alex smiled. The word fuck coming from the elegant woman's mouth turned her on. She didn't know why but when the woman said it the word became exquisite. 

"How would it go then?" Alex asked. 

"Well, first things first," Beth smiled. "I should introduce you to Gavin. He may not be interested in another sub. He's very selective." 

"Then I have no shot," Alex frowned. "I look nothing like you!" 

"I know Gavin," Beth smiled. "He will like you." 

Beth wrote her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Alex. 

"Think on it," Beth smiled. "If you are interested in the most pleasurable sexual adventure of your life, call me." Alex took the paper and Beth gently rubbed her fingers across Alex's. "Please call." Alex smiled. The attraction was mutual. 

"Now," Beth smiled looking at the drawing. "I would like to buy this from you, I think Gavin would love to have it." 

"You can just have it," Alex shrugged. 

"No," Beth smiled. "I need a number." 

"It doesn't do you justice," Alex explained. She could tell by the look on Beth's face that she needed a number and wouldn't be dissuaded by Alex's pleas. Alex laughed inwardly. So much of Beth being a submissive! 

"Twenty bucks?" Alex suggested with a shrug. Beth frowned and pulled her pocket book from her designer purse. Pulling three crisp hundred dollar bills out she slid them in front of Alex who instantly shook her head at the money. Beth removed the picture from the sketch book. 

"Thank you Alexandria," Beth smiled standing up. "I hope you call." With that Beth was gone leaving only her perfume scent and three hundred dollars. 

Chapter Two* 

Gavin walked into the condo and set his keys on the table just inside the doorway. He sifted through the mail there as well. Nothing of importance so he left them there. Dropping down the steps into the sunken living room entry way he turned the corner and stopped in his tracks. 

"We have company," Gavin smiled looking at the young woman on the couch. Beth nodded with a smile. 

"This is Alexandria," Beth smiled patting her hand as she sat next to her. 

"It's Alex," she corrected her. 

"What's wrong with Alexandria?" Gavin asked tilting his head in a smile. "It's beautiful. It suits you." Alex blushed at the compliment. "A dinner guest?" Gavin asked Beth. 

"Yes, Sir," Beth said dropping her head properly. 

"More than a dinner guest?" Gavin asked his tone hardening taking note of the body language. 

"If you wish," Beth said with her head still down. Alex looked from Gavin to Beth then back to Gavin unsure if this was going to explode into an argument. "She wishes to learn about the lifestyle." 

Gavin turned his eyes to Alex who dropped her eyes unexplainably again. It seemed she couldn't look him in the eye even if she wanted to. He has to be a Jedi master. 

"I'm not at all pleased with this," Gavin said curtly. His eyes firmly fixed on the elegant woman by Alex's side. "Elizabeth, would this please you?" 

"Yes, Sir," Beth responded. Gavin looked upon them both for a few agonizing seconds as they sat there with their heads down. 

"If it pleases you, then I will consider it," Gavin frowned. Alex could only watch through her lashes. 

"Thank you, Sir," Beth whispered. 

"Alex," Gavin said bringing her head up slightly. "What do you know?" 

"Almost nothing," Alex admitted. This brought a deep exhale of disappointment from him. 

"Let's discuss it over dinner," Gavin said standing back up. 

Beth stood up as well and Alex followed suit. He allowed the women to go first, making sure he pulled out chairs for both women properly before bringing the food in from the kitchen. He took the time to serve them patiently. This confused Alex. If he was the Dom, why was he serving them? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Then again, the idea of being served by this exquisite man caused a soft glow in her nether regions. That couldn't be explained either. How could such a simple gesture cause a stirring? 

After making sure both ladies had their desired food, he sat with his plate. Alex could tell he wasn't happy. She thought that odd. Any of her boyfriends would have jumped at the chance to have a threesome. It appeared this man disliked the idea of two women. 

"You know almost nothing of the lifestyle?" Gavin asked drawing her eyes up after agonizing minutes of silence broken up by the occasional soft scrape of a fork to a plate. 

"No, hardly anything," Alex admitted. "Just maybe some stuff I saw in a movie." 

"Then why on earth are you interested?" Gavin asked sitting back. Alex shrugged. She had vague ideas and some of that interested her. Some of it horrified her as well. 

"I have some desires of things I have heard about," Alex explained softly. 

"Hardly enough to walk blindly into a lifestyle," Gavin pointed out. 

"True," Alex admitted. She struggled on what to say. How does she convince him that she really wanted to see this lifestyle? 

"How many boyfriends have you had?" Gavin asked pointedly. 

"Like long term?" Alex asked softly. His demeanor was demanding and caustic. Not to be argued with or denied. 

"Well, let's change that question to put some scope on it," Gavin said looking towards the ceiling. "When did you lose your virginity?" 

Alex stared blankly at him. Wow, that was personal she thought. Why on earth would he need to know that? 

"Hesitation in our world is a no-no," Gavin pointed out. "Perhaps this is not the lifestyle for you if such a simple question causes you to balk." 

"I lost my virginity in college," Alex told him. Her voice measured. Trying to keep the embarrassment out. 

"So, that's our scope then," Gavin told her. "How many boyfriends have you had since college?" 

"Two long term," Alex said softly. "Two one-night stands." Gavin nodded as he swirled the wine in his glass looking at the purplish-red color of it. 

"Disregard the one night stands," Gavin told her. "How long was the first 'long term' boyfriend?" 

"Four months," Alex whispered. This whole conversation was off to a bad start. She could tell by Gavin's body language he wasn't pleased. 

"That's long term?" Gavin asked. 

"Not in the grand scheme of things, but for me...yes," Alex admitted embarrassedly. 

"And the sex?" Gavin continued to swirl his wine. 

"He was my first so I had nothing to compare it to," Alex shrugged. 

"If you had one word to describe it what would it be?" Gavin continued. She thought hard on it. How do you describe sex in one word? 

"Disappointing," Alex said lifting her eyes to him. Gavin nodded. 

"The other boyfriend?" Gavin said putting his wine down after taking a drink and looked at her. 

"Lasted almost a year," she breathed out. 

"It seems that you haven't had enough sex to even warrant an exploration of the type of life we live," Gavin said coolly looking to Beth. Alex could see he was angry to have her brought such an inexperienced girl to him. "Have you had any experience with BDSM?" 

"Minimal," Alex said looking to Beth. 

"Give me an example," Gavin demanded. 

"We watched a movie where the man tied up his girlfriend then had sex with her," Alex said softly. 

"I can't hear you," Gavin interrupted. 

"We watched a movie where the man tied up his girlfriend then had sex with her," Alex said louder now. Her voice firmer but she could hear the betrayal of her nervousness in the last of her statement. 

"And?" 

"It turned me on," Alex admitted her face flushing with heat as she thought of the scenes. 

"And?" 

"We tried it," Alex continued. "He tied me up, my wrists first then to the headboard of the bed." 

"What was that like?" Gavin pushed. 

"I remember that he tied the rope to tight, it dug into my wrists cutting off the circulation. It was a matter of a few minutes before my hands were numb," She looked towards Beth again who sat patiently. She looked to Gavin and saw a flash of anger and disappointment in his eyes. 

"Then what did he do?" Gavin asked when Alex stopped talking and rubbed her wrists in the memory of that night. Gavin's eyes shifted from looking at her face to her hands as she rubbed her wrists in memory then back to her face, the fire stoking in his eyes was impossible to miss. 

"He took my head and forced his...cock down my throat," Alex said bluntly. She knew he wanted the details but she was uncomfortable with them. But she wanted to know more. She wanted to know why Beth smiled the way she smiled, like she knew something nobody else did. The thought of the sex in the movie got her warming again. She wanted that scene. In the movie it was very sensual, very erotic. Orgasmic. Her own experience was anything but. 

"It was brutal," Alex continued. "I couldn't breathe." Alex shook her head angrily and took a sip of her wine. Gavin let her go slow and he never moved his eyes from her and even that was causing her to warm. 

"He didn't relent," she said softly. "I remember struggling for air, the tears burning down my face, my chest on fire. I thought I was going to die!" Gavin began to drum his fingers angrily on the table. 

"He pulled out of my mouth at the last minute, I thought he was going to shoot his cum on my face or in my mouth...but he didn't," she shook her head. "He flipped me over and threw himself on top of me." 

"I couldn't catch my breath, especially now with his full weight on me," Alex gasped. "He put his cock in me, but my body wasn't ready for it so it was hard to get in, I wasn't wet." 

"I would imagine not," Gavin hissed. 

"He rammed it in me a couple of times before he pulled out, it was frantic," Alex frowned. "I thought he was going to cum on my back or ass, instead he pulled my ass cheeks apart and drove his cock into it! I tried to keep it from happening by clenching my ass cheeks as tight as I could but that only made it worse," This caused Gavin to flutter his eyes closed. 

"I begged him to stop, but I couldn't muster enough air to scream," Alex stopped talking for a moment. "My ass burned like it was on fire, he fell out multiple times only to shove it back in angrily! It felt like broken glass being shoved into me. I remember him grunting on me out of breath...it was like he couldn't breathe! Like he had cock down his throat!" 

"He fell out again and tried to put it back in but he came before he could," Alex whispered again. "He then came up to my face and wiped it on me, it was covered in cum, blood and...shit." 

Gavin exhaled deeply. She couldn't tell who he was angry with. But he was angry. 

"Alex, is that what you think BDSM is?" Gavin asked. Alex shrugged. "Thank you for sharing your experience with me. But I can categorically deny that any part of that is BDSM." 

"He tied me up," Alex defended weakly. 

"None of that was BDSM," Gavin said forcefully. "That was rape, and we don't do that in our lifestyle." 

"It wasn't rape, I wanted it," Alex shrugged. 

"No, my dear," Gavin said softly reaching out to touch her hand and rub her skin softly. "You told him to stop. That should have ended it, but he continued. From the moment the word 'no' left you lips, everything after that was rape!" 

Alex furrowed her brow and thought about that. She hadn't looked at it that way. 

"Are you angry with me?" Alex finally asked him. She could feel it radiating off of him like a heat from a convection heater. Gavin smiled and shook his head. 

"No," he laughed a soft laugh. His body relaxed a bit and she was happy about that. "You have done nothing to be angry with." 

"But you are angry?" Alex pointed out. Gavin smiled and tilted his head. 

"Very perceptive of you," Gavin pointed out. "I'm angry that an idiot had an opportunity to show a beautiful young woman a great night of pleasure and he fucked it up! Which is why the best Doms are older, not young men. It is something you get as you age, patience, understanding...self-control. That's not to say young men can't do it, it just means that young men that can do it are rare!" 

Alex smiled, she could tell Gavin was frustrated with her experience. That he took pride in his lifestyle. 

"Are you saying that your lifestyle doesn't involve those type of activities?" Alex asked confused. 

"No, our lifestyle has all of those activities," Gavin laughed. 

"So what's the difference?" Alex asked but wanted to retract it as soon as Gavin leveled her with his eyes. 

"Did you enjoy any aspect of your rape?" Gavin asked her coolly. 

"No," 

"That's the difference," Gavin smiled. "Will you get anal sex in our life? Yes. Will someone throat fuck you? Absolutely. Will you be tied up and ravaged? Without a doubt. The difference will be that you will brought up to those things gradually. A little at a time, so that your body adjusts. Your safety and well-being are always paramount." 

"And it will be pleasurable," Gavin assured bringing a smile to her face. "It will be so pleasurable it will hurt...but hurt in the right way. A pain that in itself brings pleasure." 

"How?" Alex asked. The way Gavin said it made her wet. A confidence spoken from a man who had done exactly what he said multiple times. 

"As a Dom you have to be observant," Gavin explained. "You watch your sub's body, her breathing, her everything. From the way she tightens her lips," Gavin reached out to run his thumb across Alex's lips letting her know he was talking about her. "To the way she shifts her hips. These things shows you she is excited." Alex blushed. "A sub also has warning signs of duress as well. Those things you pay attention to." Alex nodded. She swallowed hard trying to remove the excited lump but failed. 

Alex tried to relieve the heat building in her body by shifting in her seat slightly. She cut her eyes to Gavin and there was that smile. The same smile Beth always wore. The secret smile. Gavin knew he was exciting her. 

She looked up to him and he had his hands folded under his chin with his elbows on the table. He was staring at Beth as in deep contemplation. After a few moments he turned his head and laid his cheek on his hand to look to the side at her. 

"Alex, I am a monogamous Dom," Gavin explained crushing Alex. She had a hundred different fantasies running through her head with Gavin and Beth but he was turning her down. 

"I won't share my sub nor will I share myself," Gavin explained. He turned back to look at Beth and that secret smile came back out. "I beginning to wonder just who is the Dom in this relationship." 

"I don't understand," Alex told him. 

"Our lifestyle is about pushing boundaries," Gavin laughed shaking his head. "It seems Elizabeth is pushing mine, something a Dom does." Alex looked to Beth who tilted her head down. "You can wipe that little smirk off your face...or I will do it for you!" Gavin threatened with a larger smile. 

"Yes, Sir," Beth responded. 

"How is she doing that?" Alex asked. 

"Elizabeth has gone out and found me a deliciously beautiful young woman I would never say no to," Gavin explained. "Thus making me violate one of my absolutes." 

"Absolutes?" Alex asked smiling at Beth and her little secret smile. 

"A rule that cannot be broken," Gavin explained still staring at the elegant woman. "Elizabeth, is this what you want?" 

"I want to please you Sir," Beth responded. "As always." 

Gavin stared at Beth. Alex could see him weighing the thoughts in his head. She wanted to stand up and promise to fuck him like he had never been fucked before but she knew she did not have the knowledge or ability to do that. 

Gavin looked to the table and closed his eyes. 

"As you wish," Gavin whispered. From the corner of her eye, Alex saw Beth's smile flutter across her face in victory. 

"Alex," Gavin said lifting his head and speaking softly. "I can't possibly show you our lifestyle in a single night." 

"I understand," Alex frowned. Maybe it wasn't going to happen. This roller coaster ride of sex and intrigue was killing her. First it would appear he was going to do it. Then not. Then yes. Then no. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 01



"Give me the four day holiday weekend," Gavin said to her causing her feet to tap lightly beneath the table in excitement. "Tonight through Sunday. On Sunday we will have dinner and you can let us know then if you wish to join us. Not that I can show you all of it in a few days but I can show you what it will be like." 

"Four days?" Alex asked. Gavin nodded. "Thank you." 

"Hmm," Gavin smiled with a shake of his head. "First order of business...when you address me you say 'Sir'. 'Thank you, Sir,'." 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex smiled. 

"Better," Gavin told her. "Now, there are penalties involved here, for disobedience or displeasing me." 

"Like?" Alex asked. 

"Sir," Gavin reminded. 

"Like what, Sir?" Alex repeated. 

"Minor offenses will get you ten strokes," Gavin explained leaning back in his chair. "Repeat offenses twenty strokes. Direct disobedience to a direct command...thirty strokes." 

"Strokes from what?" Alex asked. 

"Sir," Gavin smiled patiently. "That would be ten." 

"Sorry, Sir," Alex nodded. "Strokes from what? Sir?" 

"Whatever pleases me at that particular moment. My hand. A belt. A paddle. A crop. A flogger," Gavin listed. Alex didn't know why but that made her squishy down there. The thought of Gavin's powerful hand on her bottom filled her head and now her burgeoning fantasies. 

"The flogger against my back, won't that leave marks?" Alex asked. "Sir?" she said quickly. 

"You're learning," Gavin laughed. "No, I will leave no marks. I will redden your skin but I will leave no lasting marks. I will also never hit you anywhere but your bottom. From the bottom of your cheeks to the top of your butt only." Alex nodded. Now she was leaking for sure. 

"This lifestyle is about trust," Gavin told her. "You will learn to trust me, but it is something I will earn. Then I will cherish and protect it like my life depends on it. As a Dom, my only existence is to bring you pleasure, which in turns brings me pleasure." 

"The more pleasure I can give you, the more I derive," Gavin said looking Alex over. She could see him planning the things he would like to do to her already. "A never ending cycle of pleasure." 

Ok, Alex wanted to fuck him on the table now. His confidence, his silky warm voice. The way his eyes worked on her. All of them had her panting, her breathing was quickened and that brought the smile back. The secret smile. 

"Leave the dishes," Gavin said standing up. "I suggest we get started before you go crazy with the ideas running through your head. Perhaps it's time to bring those ideas to light!" 

"Yes, Sir," the women said at once. Gavin shook his head and let a deep exhale out. "That will take some getting used to." Gavin held his hand out to Alex and she took it apprehensively. 

Following Beth towards the back of the condo, Alex could feel the heat radiating off her. She concentrated on slowing her breathing as the excitement within had caused it to become rapid and strained. Beth took the handles of the double doors that led to the bedroom and twisted and pushed them both open wide. 

As soon as she was in, she undid her dress and let it slink to the floor. Her glorious body came into view from behind and Alex gasped. 

"It never fails to take my breath away when she does that!" Gavin smiled kissing the back of Alex's hand. Alex smiled, how could the sight not take one's breath away? 

Beth went to an open area of the bedroom before she turned and dropped to her knees before sitting on her heels. She lowered her head and placed her hands on her thighs palms up. 

"Alexandria," Gavin began. "This is the submissive pose, or kneeling. If someone says to you that is what you are to do, then that is the way you should look." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex said taking in the beauty on her knees. 

"In this room," Gavin told her. "You are to be in your underwear, in that position until I say otherwise." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex whispered. She was enamored with Beth's total beauty. She looked so erotic posed like that. As if she was waiting to give the utmost pleasure to someone. 

"Go ahead," Gavin told her. "Join her." 

Alex hesitated. 

"That would be a repeat offense," Gavin pointed out with a sigh. "Twenty strokes. Hesitation is not allowed. I give a command, you don't think about it. You do it. I will have to earn your trust and then the obedience will start without thinking. Once I have your trust then you won't think anything but the pleasure we are about to give each other." 

"Will you punish me now, Sir?" Alex asked. 

"No," Gavin huffed a soft laugh. "That would be like spanking a five year old because he couldn't beat me in chess before I taught them the nuances of the game. No, you don't know the rules, you aren't in the life. I will just remind you each time you violate a rule and the punishment that would incur...as guidance." 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex smiled. She was relieved there would be a breaking in period. She thought about that. Breaking in. 

"I like the way you hold your breath," Gavin whispered in her ear causing her eyes to flutter closed. "It makes me hard." He took her hand and placed it gently on his growing manhood. She almost gasped. She hadn't even gotten undressed and he was that hard? For her? She left her hand where he placed it. Running her fingers over it slowly. Boldly. 

"So eager!" Gavin grinned. 

"Take your clothes off, leaving only your underwear on," Gavin said again pulling her hand away. She obeyed immediately. She looked to Beth as she waited patiently on the floor. She hadn't moved. Her head down, her body straight. 

Alex looked at her expensive underwear. It was black lace matching bra with garter set and black stockings. It was something from a lingerie magazine, with the model now in the room with her. On her knees no less waiting for her next command. With no panties! 

Alex had nothing like that. Her underwear was plain cotton undies and mismatch bra. She hadn't thought this night through at all! If she had, she would have run to Victoria's Secret to buy something sexy like Beth had. 

Gavin watched her take her clothes off and admired her soft tanned skin. Kneeling next to Beth was a stark contrast. Beth with her milky white skin, Alex with her tan lines. Once she was kneeling as Beth was, Gavin shook his head. He disappeared into the master bath leaving the girls there without another word. 

After several minutes, Alex was concerned. 

"What are we to do?" Alex whispered. 

"Wait," Beth smiled. "Silently." 

"Yes, ma'am," Alex teased. Beth shook her head. 

Gavin reappeared. He walked over the where the girls were kneeling. 

"I guess it is fortuitous you are here Alexandria," Gavin said running his fingers across her shoulders causing her to shiver with excitement as he walked behind the two kneeling beauties. "You will see Beth get a punishment tonight." Alex darted her eyes to the side but Beth gave no indication she was scared. 

"For what?" Alex asked. "Sir?" again she almost forgot. That would take some getting used to as well. 

"It happened the day we first saw you," Gavin said running his fingers across Beth's back. He walked to the dresser and opened a drawer and surveyed the contents. 

"The panties?" Alex asked. Gavin turned. 

"Very observant! You would make a good Dom! Yes, she knows she isn't allowed to wear panties around me. Granted, it was an impromptu meeting but she had sufficient time before my arrival to remove them. As this is not her first offense she will receive twenty strokes." 

"Elizabeth," Gavin said in a soft voice. "Assume the position." 

"Yes, Sir," Beth said softly rising and moving to the foot of the bed. She placed her palms on the bedding and spread her legs slightly giving herself a steady base. Without her panties on Alex could see her complete sex and it was beautiful to behold. It glistened softly in the light and Alex could tell Beth was as excited about the upcoming events of the night as she was. 

Gavin moved from the dresser and Alex dropped her head properly. 

"No, Alexandria," Gavin said stroking her hair. "Do not avert your eyes, you need to know exactly what you are getting yourself into." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex looked up. She really wanted to watch anyway. She was excited and her panties were getting damp with that excitement. 

Gavin moved up behind Beth and stood to the side of her. He gently reached out to her and stroked her soft skin on her backside. She didn't jump or quiver. She remained perfectly still waiting for him. Alex watched Gavin. He seemed unemotional about what he was about to do. Neither deriving pleasure nor summoning anger for the strokes he was about to give. 

The flogger hung from his fingertips gently swishing as he flicked his fingers softly. 

"Are you ready?" Gavin asked her softly. 

"Yes, Sir," she whispered. 

"Count it out," Gavin said moving back. He swung the flog with a flick of his wrist, not his whole arm as Alex anticipated. It still crackled when it struck the soft white flesh of Beth's backside. 

"One," she called out. Alex gasped. The smoldering embers between her legs erupted into an inferno. A soft flick of Gavin's wrist caused another crackle. 

"Two," Beth whispered. This time there was a tint in her voice. Part pain, part pleasure and Alex didn't miss it. Alex shifted slightly. Another crackle. 

"Three," another crackle. 

"Four," Alex watched Beth's pale flesh begin to redden. 

"Five," there were soft reds and pinks mixed with strips of white of her untouched flesh. 

"Six," more of the white disappeared. 

"Seven," more duress in Beth's voice became evident. 

"Eight," Gavin had moved to the other side of her luscious skinned ass. 

"Nine," Alex could see the soft wetness of Beth's sex. It matched her own. 

"Ten," Gavin paused and ran his fingers lightly across the skin of his punishment. It caused Beth to tense slightly as he ran his fingers across the sensitive pink flesh. It also caused a ripple of goose bumps that was evident from across the room where Alex knelt. Another soft crackle, for a moment Alex thought Gavin was giving a reprieve. Not tonight. 

"Eleven," Beth continued. 

"Twelve," Alex could no longer see any white intermixed with the pink. 

"Thirteen," the area of pink covered the middle part of her cheeks. 

"Fourteen," it was in stark contrast in the light white of her skin. 

"Fifteen," the pink was beginning to give way to redness. 

"Sixteen," Alex looked to Gavin, he was breathtaking with the look of concentration on his face. 

"Seventeen," he was totally engrossed into what he was doing, no distractions. 

"Eighteen," his face was serious with concentration. 

"Nineteen," not only on the strikes he was giving, but he carefully watched Beth. Alex could tell he was being very careful with her. Yes he was punishing her, but he was making it an absolute certainty to not go too far. 

"Twenty," Beth exhaled on the last strike. "Thank you, Sir." Three little words again. 

Beth didn't move, Gavin carefully brought his hand up after dropping the flogger on the bed. He let his fingers drift softly across her warm, pink flesh. He was inspecting his work. She didn't know what he was looking for but whatever it was he didn't find it and he smiled. 

"Rise," he commanded and Beth did so immediately. "Very good, Beautiful," Gavin complimented. 

"Thank you, Sir," Beth whispered. Gavin kissed her gently on the lips, then let his lips trail up to her cheek then her ear. 

"Take the chair," Gavin smiled at her ear as he looked to Alex who was squirming subtlety as she knelt on the floor. 

"Yes, Sir," Beth turned to look at Alex. 

The secret smile was back and it was just killing Alex that she didn't know what all that smile entailed. What she did know was that was the hottest thing she had ever seen live! She had never seen anything so loving in her life. The concentration on Gavin's part. The cautious way he watched Beth's response. Checking to make sure he didn't go too far. Then it hit her. Beth knew he would be just as firm as he was cautious. Punishing her but not beating her. Not what she expected. 

Gavin picked up the flogger after he watched Beth sit down gingerly. That made the secret smile cross his face. Alex smiled as well. A continuing of the punishment? Making Beth sit on her already sore bottom. 

"Boundaries," Gavin smiled as he watched the recognition slide across Alex's face. "And a tad beyond." Alex moved her eyes to him and stared into his dark eyes. 

"You must never look a Dom in the eyes unless he tells you to," Gavin pointed out as he walked over to her. Alex dropped her head. He had the flogger in his hand. 

"Hold out your hand, palm up," Gavin told her. She hesitated. "Twenty." Gavin smiled. Alex lifted her arm as instructed. "Trust." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex whispered but her heart leapt into a gear she didn't know she had. It was already making her light headed with excitement. Now she was just out of control. 

"Look at me now Alexandria," Gavin told her firmly. Alex instantly brought her eyes to his. "I'm going to show you how this feels. Not hard. Not soft. Enough. Do you understand?" 

"Yes, Sir," Alex said softly. Gavin nodded. With a soft flick of his wrist, Gavin brought the flogger across her forearm. As it crackled across her forearm she sucked in a breath and the heat exploded within her. She watched the red marks appear.  

Gavin was on his knees with her looking at the arm with her. 

"Not hard. Not soft, but enough," Gavin smiled as he gently stroked her skin. "Don't worry, that will be the only strike you will receive from me for the time being. Until you decide." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex whispered. The inferno of knowledge was consuming her now. She didn't know before, now she had a glimpse and it was erupting something in her beyond description.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 02



Chapter 3* 

"Stand," Gavin instructed as he helped her up as he rose with her. "For the time being, we will use safe words. If you decide to join us in our lifestyle, the words will never be used. In our world safe words means you don't trust me. If you have a safe word it means you fear I won't know when you are past your point. We will keep them for a time, especially during the next four days. But soon I will know your body better than you do and the safe words will be irrelevant because I will know your limits. And push by them a tad." Gavin smiled and Alex flushed again. 

"Now, we will use the colors of a traffic light," Gavin smiled. "It's universal so everybody understands. Green means you like what is going on and everything is ok." Alex nodded. 

"Repeat it," Gavin instructed. 

"Green means everything is ok, I like it. Sir," Alex repeated. 

"Yellow means your limit is coming," Gavin said watching her. "It doesn't mean stop, it means proceed with caution. Now this word will cause me to evaluate all that I am doing. Am I being safe? Am I pushing too far? Can I take it just a bit further?" 

"Yellow means I'm coming close to my limit," Alex repeated. "Caution. Sir." 

"Red is automatic stop," Gavin whispered. "Anything and everything halts. Once it's halted it can't be restarted. So use caution in this word. If I find out you are using the word because you are scared and not being harmed. Automatic thirty strokes. You can only use red when you are being harmed. Do you know the difference between hurt and harm?" 

"No, Sir," Alex shook her head. 

"Pain is ok, it may hurt," Gavin explained. "But some pain brings more pleasure. Harm brings injury. I will never...injure you. Nor will allow by omission you to be injured." Gavin paused mid-sentence to show his sincerity. "It would harm me grievously to bring injury to you." 

"Red means stop," Alex repeated. She had slight soft tears as she saw the conviction in Gavin's eyes. "I know you will never harm me, Sir." 

"Trust," Gavin smiled. 

"Always," Alex smiled. "Sir." 

"Oh so eager!" Gavin smiled as he moved around Alex dragging his fingers across her body causing her knees to weaken. He slowly undid the clasp in her bra and slowly pushed the straps off her shoulders. Her body instantly began to shake with both excitement and fear. Not fear of Gavin, but the fear of the unknown. 

Running his fingers over her warm skin, down her arm pushing her bra off as he went. It fell to the floor and Alex looked to Beth who watched with her secret smile. As Gavin pulled his fingers back up her arms he brushed his thumbs across her breasts causing her to exhale and her heart to break into a gallop. She held her breath. 

"I love that," Gavin whispered in her ear. His hot breath caused her to shiver uncontrollably. 

"I'm here to please," she whispered unable to speak any louder as she had no breath in her. "Sir." 

"So eager!" Gavin hissed as he nuzzled her neck. His fingers slid down her breasts across her stomach to the cotton fiber of her panties. 

"I'm sorry my underwear isn't as beautiful as Beth's," Alex explained as he ran his fingers around the elastic edges across the top. 

"A problem I can rectify," Gavin whispered. "From this point on, you are not allowed to wear something I have not directly approved of or bought for you. Do you understand?" 

"Yes, Sir," Alex gasped as his lips brushed over the back of her neck. She reached up with her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. 

"Remove your hand from me," Gavin smiled into her neck. She quickly withdrew. "You aren't to touch me unless you have my permission. Do you understand?" He asked as his fingers moved the elastic down her hips and her panties followed to the floor. "I touch you." 

"Yes, Sir," she gasped. 

She was rocked. She couldn't slow her breath. She couldn't stop quivering with excitement. She couldn't stop the raging fire between her legs! Gavin spun her and brushed his lips across hers. She wanted the kiss but he withheld it. He gently pushed her back against the wall of the room and continued down her body with his lips gently touching her throat, the notch at the base of it. Lower to her nipples which were rock hard. Brushing them gently with his lips first, then his tongue slipped across them causing sparks to shoot throughout her body. Causing short convulsions of pleasure. First one nipple then the other. She could feel her wetness run down her leg. 

Gavin knelt in front of her, circling her navel with his tongue causing her to flinch in both excitement and tickling. Both caused her to exhale deeply as they mixed together. 

"Green?" Gavin smiled as he French kissed her navel. 

"Green," she gasped. Lower he went now, across her hip bones, one side then the other. She wanted to grab his head and force him between her legs demandingly, but she knew she wasn't to touch him. Not without permission! That was driving her crazy! She wanted her hands on him! She liked her hands on her lovers, to not have that ability now was driving her crazy with lust. 

Softly nuzzling her pubic hair strip he traced the outline with his tongue causing rivets of electricity to shook through her causing he body to buck slightly with each bolt. 

"Green?" 

"Yes, Sir," Alex said huskily. "Green!" Gavin slipped first one leg over his shoulder, then the other, holding her off the floor. His hot breath on her clit caused her to gyrate her hips trying to push it against his mouth. 

"So eager," Gavin smiled. She reached down to his head but the instant her fingers touched his hair, "No!" He reminded forcefully. She withdrew her hand immediately with a whimper. He rose slowly keeping her back against the wall, her legs braced on his shoulders. Once he was up she looked outward and found she was levitating it seemed in mid-air. She didn't even realize it until she was already there. 

She looked to Beth desperately and Beth had a large smile on her face as she rocked her hips in the chair rubbing her sex on the chair in which she sat. Her hands firmly planted on the arms of the chair. The look on her face told Alex she desperately wanted to pleasure herself but Alex also knew, given being the sub, she wouldn't be allowed to, so she was doing whatever she could to stroke herself. The chair was doing that now. 

Suddenly Alex's eyes rolled back into her head as Gavin buried his face into her. His tongue hitting her love button causing her to convulse in mid-air. He sucked in her lips and stuck his tongue deep within her at the same time. 

"Yes!" Alex called out. She didn't know if that was allowed. Calling out. Gavin said nothing so it must be ok as he had corrected her every other time. Trust she thought. Yes he would tell her is she was doing something wrong. Calling out in passion was allowed. 

He devoured her. His hands running up her body to her breasts as he busily and hungrily ate her. His fingers pulling gently on her nipples, their pebble like feel surprised even her, she had never felt this turned on! 

The orgasm hit suddenly, it took her breath from her and she opened her mouth to call out but nothing came out. Her body tightened all its muscles at once causing her to lift even further in the air as she pushed off his shoulders as her leg muscles convulsed. 

The gushing feel between her legs overwhelmed her as her body released its tension causing her to fall back into the wall with a gentle thump as she whimpered, he continued to lick and suckle her through the orgasm. Her fingers drifted to his head and pulled him into her. 

"No," he said without missing a lick. She pulled her hands back. Dammit she had to touch him! 

The second orgasm wasn't as strong as the first but she hadn't fully recovered from the first so this one caused her body to twist and squeeze Gavin's head between her strong thighs. She knew she was doing it but couldn't stop doing it! She was concerned she was going to twist his head right off! 

It washed out of her and she fell back to the wall with a thud. Her eyes went open wildly as she looked down at Beth as she watched from the chair. Beth was now biting her lower lip. She was biting so hard the red was leaving and white marks were left where her teeth dug in. Alex's eyes were wild with lust. She wanted to bite Beth's lips as well, and have Beth bite hers. All while Gavin did whatever he was doing to her. She thought it was oral sex, but it was like no oral sex she had ever experienced so there had to be more going on! 

Gavin slowly lowered her to the floor but her legs wouldn't support her fully so he guided her to the bed. She looked at him and saw the wetness she had put on his face. She had the urge to taste herself so she pressed her lips to him wildly. He held her head with his hands. 

"So eager," he grinned as she held her just out of her reach. "Sit." She whimpered and followed the command. He ran his fingers gently over her sex causing her to flinch as the bolts of lightning shot from his fingers into her quivering body, down her thighs until he had her ankles. Slowly he lifted her ankles higher kissing her calves as she watched him from her back. 

He pulled his tie from his neck and watched her eyes widen. 

"Trust," Gavin repeated. 

"Green," she whispered as she exhaled the fear from her as best she could. 

"Good girl," he smiled. The words were a soft lullaby to her ears and her eyes fluttered closed. He gently tied her ankles together. They were firm, but not tight. She couldn't escape but they didn't cut off her blood flow. How the hell did he do that one handed? 

Slowly he rolled her ankles back towards her causing her knees to touch her chest. Her eyes snapped shut as he licked along the outlines of her clit hood. 

"Green!" she gasped. 

"Can you see that Elizabeth?" Gavin asked. 

"Yes Sir," she whispered. 

"It's so beautiful!" Gavin admired. "So tight!" 

"Yes!" Beth whimpered the strain of her own passion pulling against her words. 

"Its taste is so sweet," Gavin continued as he ran his tongue the full length of her. 

"Please?" Beth whimpered. 

"No," Gavin said firmly. 

"You broke the rule," Gavin explained. "You broke one of my absolutes." 

"I'm sorry, Sir," Beth cried out softly. Alex was in her own world of ecstasy and only half heard the conversation beneath her. 

"Suffer the consequences," Gavin growled. "Watch Alexandria lose herself in the world of orgasms I had reserved only for you!" With that Gavin returned to his work with a gusto that reminded Alex of a wolf ravaging its prey. The orgasm took her breath again as her legs tightened and twisted her body as Gavin tried to hold her in place. 

"GREEN! GREEN! GREEN!" Alex called out. "OH MY GOD!" She was lifting her hips up and it was putting all her weight on her shoulders as she used the silk tie as a fulcrum to press off Gavin's hand raising herself up. Her orgasm squeezed her body like a fist then dropped her back to the bed. 

"No, no, no, Alexandria," Gavin scolded as she pulled on his head. 

"Sorry, I can't help myself!" She gushed in between gasps of air. 

"Then I will have to help you," Gavin said with a smile. 

"Thank you Sir!" This caused Gavin to grin ear to ear. 

"Oh aren't you eager!" He gushed as he undid the bind of her ankles. "I want you in the kneeling position here at the edge of the bed." She looked up at him. He had to be joking, she couldn't move her jelly legs! 

"Now," he said firmly. She tried to comply but it took some doing. Soon he was helping her get to her knees. 

"Now lay back," he smiled as he put his hands behind her and slowly lowered Alex to the pillows he had put behind her to help her stay propped up. Her breathing caused her breasts and her stomach to rise sharply against her skin as her body was stretched backward. 

"Comfortable?" Gavin asked as he pushed some of her hair back. 

"Yes, Sir," she gasped in between breaths. 

"Are you sure? You are going to be here a long time," Gavin said as he ran his fingers across her lips. She sucked one of them into her mouth causing him to smile at her. "So eager!" 

"For how long? Sir?" Alex asked. 

"Until I'm done," Gavin said firmly, the spark in his eyes told her not to question. 

"I am comfortable, Sir," Alex whispered. "Until you are done." 

"So eager," he smiled again with a soft shake of disbelief. 

He left her to go back to the dresser. She watched while still in the backward arched position. He pulled out a spool of rope it looked like. This caused her shiver uncontrollably as she thought of the last time she was bound and the horrid pain and disappointment that led to. 

As Gavin walked towards her with rope in his hands she looked to the mirror above the headboard. She could see him approach her and see Beth seated in her chair. She turned her head to face Gavin as he sat next to her. 

"This is Japanese bondage rope," Gavin explained as he pulled a length of it from its spool to show her. 

"Yes Sir," Alex whispered. The rope was a soft twisted braid. Much thicker rope than she had seen before. The last time she was bound it was with clothesline rope. This was ten times as thick. He brought the end of the rope to her face and rubbed it gently across her lips. 

"I'm assuming your ex did not use this type of rope?" Gavin smiled as she enjoyed the silky soft feel of the rope on her lips. Her face told him so. 

"No, Sir," Alex smiled with him. 

"I love this rope, and so will you!" Gavin removed the rope from its spool. "Let me have your hands Alexandria. Trust me now and you won't be disappointed." 

She brought her hands to him without hesitation knowing that would not only anger him but maybe end this exquisite encounter. And she desperately wanted it to continue. She desperately wanted to keep him smiling that secret smile. 

He began to wrap the rope around her wrists. Her boyfriend had used a simple slip knot to bind her, Gavin's knots were anything but simple. He carefully bound her in an intricate weave around her wrists and forearms. The bind was tight, but not too tight. It controlled her but didn't cut off the circulation. It wrapped around her arms and hands gently but secured her firmly and it dawned on her that it was exactly like Gavin. Firm but gentle. Restrictive but opening. Opening her eyes to a whole new world. 

She watched the concentration in his eyes as he looked from the knot, to her, back to his work, then to her. 

"Green," she smiled. He nodded at her. 

When he was done she admired the intricacy of what he had done. It was spectacular to look at, and she had no idea how he did it. It was also the most erotic thing she had ever had done to her. Gavin was in no rush to do it either. Taking his time, building the excitement in her slowly. Erotically. 

Gavin reached to her hands and ran his fingers over them. Carefully squeezing and seeing the reaction. 

"Bound, but not hurt," Gavin smiled. "See the difference?" 

"Yes, Sir," Alex smiled. "It's beautiful...and very erotic!" 

"That's you...beautiful and very erotic," Gavin assured causing her to blush. He then stood and she saw the erection in his suit pants as he moved to the headboard. Again he took his time as she watched from her arched position. He pulled her arms tight but again, not too tight. Firm and unyielding, but not painful. Pleasurable. 

She tried to control her breathing but that was wasted effort she decided as he ran his fingers down the length of rope like a spider moving towards its now ensnared prey, to her bound hands. His fingers tracing hers causing electricity to course from her fingertips to her toes. 

Gavin let his fingers follow the bolts of electricity down her body. Her wrists from on top of the ropes, to where his fingers met her skin for the first time as they fell from the bindings to her hot skin. The secret smile came back out as soon as his fingers touched her flesh. She watched the pleasure in his eyes as he gently explored her body. 

Down her arms to her underarms. She was very thankful she had shaved today! Over to her neck and up around her lips, she sucked his finger in, nipping gently at it as he continued to explore her body. He smiled at her nip. 

"So eager!" he grinned. 

She was so turned on by his soft manipulations she wondered if he could make her cum again without touching her sex. She was definitely on her way, her body was telling her so. The goose bumps washed over her as she had seen on Beth and now she knew the feeling and that pleased her. 

Down his fingers and hands went. Pausing gently at her throat to close gently around it. She looked to him and saw him studying her. Watching her reaction to it. She almost came. He saw it and smiled broader. 

"Very much green," she whispered. 

"I can tell," he smiled as he continued to hold her there by the throat. To the outside world, or if anyone walked in they would think he was about to harm her. She remembered his promise to never harm her and she had never felt so safe in her entire life! She never thought of such a menacing gesture to be so erotic, so safe, so pleasured filled! 

He let go and for the briefest of nanoseconds she was disappointed but she knew he was not even remotely close to being done with his pleasuring her. She watched in the mirror as his fingers fluttered over her nipples. They were hard to begin with, but now they ached with blood filled excitement. A good type of ache. His mere brushing caused her body to convulse with each gentle circle. His thumb would brush against the top of the nipple after every circle. She was going to cum. She could feel just the edges of the insanity of pleasure he was bringing up. 

Lower he went, she watched his face for a few moments, then his hands. Then back to his face. She could see the care on his face and feel it in his hands. Lower he went, across her caved in stomach from her arched angle of her back. Hitting her navel causing her to gasp, how did her belly button become an erogenous zone she wondered? Gavin knew just how to push that button. 

Lower still, following her neatly trimmed bush, down the trail to the top of her sex. Her clit swollen and protruding from underneath. She could actually make it out in the mirror and she had never witnessed that reaction from her body before. 

Then again, she had never be so pleasured in all her life! His right hand now joined his left and he gently pressed on her pussy lips with his left hand. Slowly, maddeningly, she watched his fingers disappear inside of her. She closed her eyes tightly as soon as his left fingers filled her as far as he could push the middle two inside of her. She then felt his right hand fingers press her clit and that sent her over the edge, causing her orgasm to cascade from her pits of desire to explode in both moan and body. 

Her muscles tensed and caused her to rise from the pillows and push her sex further onto his fingers as she heard the squish of her liquid cum ease around his fingers. What the fuck? She couldn't believe even the sound of her cum was making her cum again. They came one on top of another. He kept his left hand stationary while his right gently rubbed her clit from its exposed hiding place. 

After collapsing to the bed she pried open her tightly shut eyelids to see him watching her carefully. The secret smile not so secret anymore. Now she understood the smile. Pure pleasure. He looked like he was looking at his favorite meal. Perhaps his favorite work of art. Or the finest of automobiles. He was looking at something that brought him the greatest of pleasures and she realized...it was her. That smile was for her! 

The smile that had graced him repeatedly that night was different than the one that graced his face now. Before the smile had no meaning. Now it was filled with meaning. He was pleasured to pleasure her! That boggled her mind as he continued to manipulate her body into yet another orgasm. Causing her body to shutter uncontrollably. Her moans were met with a soft whimper from somewhere in the room. It was several seconds after her intense orgasm before she could open her eyes to see who whimpered. She thought it may have been her as she couldn't control anything her body was doing. Gavin was controlling everything! She looked about her in the mirror and saw the look of desperation on Beth. She was grinding against the seat cushion when she let out a whimper of frustration and it matched the whimper Alex had heard as she came. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 02



It was Beth's whimper that coincided with Alex's moan of pleasure. Beth looked desperate. Her hands were no longer resting comfortably on the arm rests of the chair. Now her delicate fingers clutched around the arms of the chair. Her knuckles turning whiter with the pressure of her grip as she humped the chair. 

"Stop," Gavin ordered her and Beth instantly stopped but her face contorted in exquisite desolation at the command. Alex smiled. He's pleasuring me right now, you can't have him! This thought caused Alex to close her eyes. She should not feel this way with Beth's man. She huffed out a laugh, right now Gavin wasn't Beth's man. Gavin wasn't Elizabeth's Dom. Right now, this second, he was Alex's man. Alexandria's Dom. 

"What are you laughing about?" Gavin asked as he continued his manipulations on her causing rivets of pleasure to course through her. 

"She can't have her orgasm," Alex smiled. "I having them right now!" 

"That you are," Gavin assured. "Do you like controlling another's orgasms?" Alex lost the ability to speak as hers was welling within her so she nodded as she bit her lip. 

"Perhaps you are not a sub," Gavin said as her body rose from the bed. "Perhaps, you are a 'Switch'." The last of his words were lost on her as her orgasm gushed with force from her body. She felt the squirt of hot liquid hit her inner thighs and it alarmed her. She instantly lifted her eyes to the mirror to see what had happened. What exploded from her as she had never felt something like that before! It felt like a gush of blood from a horror movie when it hit her leg but nothing about it was painful. It was its exact polar opposite! It caused so much pleasure it left her head spinning trying to focus. 

"I take it by the bewildered look on your face you did not know you could squirt?" Gavin marveled. 

"I'm sorry!" Alex gasped in between ragged breaths. 

"For what? Your pleasure?" Gavin said as he slowly continued his soft manipulations. 

"I don't know what has come over me!" Alex said in gasped words. 

"I have come over you," Gavin smiled his now not so secret smile. 

"Thank you," she gasped. 

"Thank you, Sir," he reminded with a wink. 

"Thank you, Sir," the three little words left her mouth and nothing had ever felt so right. 

"Good girl," Gavin smiled. He pulled his fingers from her. She whimpered slightly as he did, fearing he was done with her. "Don't worry little one, we aren't through yet!" This brought the smile back to her face. 

"Thank you, Sir!" Alex gasped as she felt her body shiver. Her muscles were starting to ache. Then she smiled, they were beginning to ache from the orgasms coursing through her body. 

"By my count, you are at seven orgasms," Gavin said as he moved to the foot of the bed. 

"Seven?" Alex whispered in disbelief. 

"Have you never cum seven times in one session?" Gavin asked. 

"I'm lucky I can get one from anyone I've been with," Alex said to him in the mirror. His eyes were locked on hers. 

"One? Such a lonely number," he smiled as he shook his head at her as he stared into her eyes in the mirror where she was watching him. "Here, one is unacceptable." 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex gushed. 

Gavin joined her on the bed, now his right hand would be used. He slowly inserted one, then two fingers in her. 

"I don't know if I can put three in you...yet," he smiled. Her eyes opened wider at the thought. His fingers were already spreading her wide. She doubted he could put three in her. Then she looked at him. If there was a way to do it, Gavin would figure it out. And it would rack her body with pleasure! 

Chapter 4* 

Slowly he began to thrust into her as he knelt next to her body. He looked to Beth and that caused Alex to arch her neck to look into the mirror. Beth was starting to look disheveled. Gone was her elegant look, replaced with hunger and frustration at something she couldn't attain. Her face was strained and flushed, her body moved gently but not too noticeable. Alex wondered if Beth even knew she was still grinding against orders. The look on her face was desperate. 

The eighth orgasm was the first one to draw a small miniscule amount of pain. So miniscule it almost didn't register but it did and Alex's eyes looked to Gavin and he appeared to recognize the look as he nodded that he understood. 

"A few more," Gavin smiled. Alex smiled and nodded. 

"Anything you want, Sir," Alex whispered as her orgasm caused it to come out in a soft groan. 

"Always," he whispered in her ear after she came down from her head spinning. The orgasms weren't as intense but she still felt the trickle of hot liquid down her outer lips. She looked to him apologetically. 

"What?" he asked her judging her carefully. 

"I'm making a mess of your bed," Alex whispered. 

"Never apologize for your orgasms," Gavin smiled. "I want them, all of them. I crave them more than you crave them!" She doubted that, until she looked into his eyes. "I would rather make you cum, than cum myself." He told her firmly. Leaving no doubt of his sincerity. These were not just words spoken in a moment of passion. Not words spoken in boast to impress. He meant them. Every last syllable. 

"The only time you should apologize for your orgasms is when you aren't supposed to have them!" Gavin smiled as he continually thrust his fingers deeper and deeper in her. 

"Not supposed to cum?" Alex asked through her gasps as she rocked her hips against his hand. 

"I don't withhold orgasms," Gavin smiled. "Unless I'm punishing you...like I am Elizabeth right now." At the mention of her name Alex looked to the mirror to see the horror on Beth's face. It brought a smile to Alex's. 

"If she continues to attempt to bring her orgasm to light, I will strap her to the bed when I'm done with you and bring her to the brink only to deny her each and every time...as punishment for disobeying me...for hours." This caused Beth to sit ramrod straight. It told Alex he didn't make idle threats. He meant every word. Beth had experienced it. 

Alex brought her hips up to grind against his hand as her muscles stretched out during her ninth orgasm. She collapsed to the bed, her head thrashing from side to side exhaustedly. By the time her tenth hit her, her body just shuddered. Her muscles too exhausted to lift her body anymore. 

Her pussy was sore. Not painful, just sore. Stretched out. Used. Well used, she smiled. He pulled his fingers out slowly and she hissed softly as he did so. He leaned down to her ear as the sweat dripped from her temple. 

"Tomorrow, when you sit on your beautiful pussy, you will remember all of this," Gavin whispered. "As you shift to ease the pleasurable pain from how you sit, or how your underwear touches your raw sex, you will know that you have been had. That I own you. This body. This pussy. It's mine." 

"This pussy is yours!" Alex assured in a breathless whisper. 

"Alexandria, I don't need you to tell me what I already know!" Gavin said gruffly. "You are not giving me permission! I'm taking! I'm taking what is rightfully mine. It was mine before you knew it was yours." Alex only smiled. Oh yes, he did take. He conquered. Like Constantinople, it was taken and renamed. Alexandria. Now she would no longer be Alex. She was conquered and renamed as well. Alexandria, and she smiled at the name unlike in her past. 

"Are you at your limit?" Gavin asked her as her eyes fluttered open. She could tell by the look on his face that he already knew she was. It was that pleased smile that gave him away. 

"Yes, Sir," Alex sighed blissfully. "Thank you, Sir." Three little words easily fell from her mouth. 

"Your limits," Gavin as his smile grew as she looked at him. "And a tad more." Her eyes went wide with the idea he was going to continue. He got off the bed and she watched him kneel at the foot of the bed in the mirror. One last smile and his mouth was back on her causing her eyes to roll into her head as both pleasure and pain came to her at once. Each bringing more of the other. 

Chapter 5* 

His tongue was like a snake trying desperately to get out of a knapsack, it writhed in her. It flopped and slithered. It nailed her clit from time to time causing her body to jolt with pleasure. The orgasm came and it washed over his face. Not quite the squirting she had done earlier but she knew she had flooded his face, his mouth, with her cum. Not a lot. Not a dribble. Enough. 

He gently eased his fingers into her after bringing her to orgasm with his mouth two more times each one more exhausting than the last one. She winced and tightened up but he pulled his fingers out slowly and Alex watched his long digits pull from her, glistening in the overhead lights. 

Walking over towards Beth who was still in the chair he began to lift his coated fingers and she instantly opened her mouth. He must have used his Jedi mind powers as he hadn't said a word. She hungrily slurped his fingers the moment they were in her mouth. 

"Isn't she delicious?" Gavin asked. Beth nodded without releasing his fingers. Alex smiled perversely. That was her cum Beth was licking off his fingers like she was dying of thirst and only his fingers, coated in her liquid, was all they had to drink. Her cum was what Beth was licking off Gavin's face when he lowered his lips to her to kiss her. Their tongues dueling against one another. It was as if Beth wanted every drop of Alex's cum for herself. 

Gavin rose and went to the bathroom as Alex watched him in the mirror. He left Beth panting and wanting more but he didn't oblige her. She watched him disappear. The sound of water running made her wonder if he was going to leave her in this position while he had a shower. 

His appearance told her otherwise. She looked him over, he was still fully dressed, well except for the tie he used early on to bind her ankles. She had cum thirteen times and he had never bothered to take his clothes off. She had cum repeatedly, but never on his cock. It made her wonder instantly how that would feel. 

Sitting next to her he undid the binds to the bed and slowly and carefully lifted her arms up from over her head. They felt as if they weighed a hundred pounds and she was glad he helped her as she couldn't move them on her own. Slowly he undid the knots of pleasure from her arms under her watchful eye. He took great satisfaction as he pulled the rope from her. It caused her to smile. 

Once she was free from the binds he rubbed her hands gently, then her wrists, then her forearms. He inspected for any sign of discomfort. He winked at her after his inspection found nothing out of the ordinary. As if anything he was doing was ordinary she thought to herself. 

He rose and carefully helped her to lift from the prop pillows beneath her. She couldn't lift on her own and she was thankful he was so attentive and helped her move back to the kneeling position. He tossed the pillows back towards the headboard and then carefully lifted Alex into his arms. She looked back to where she was bound. Her obvious wet spot stood out and she blushed. 

"Fear not little one," Gavin smiled as he kissed her temple. "That spot pleases me like nothing else you can imagine!" 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex said softly as he lowered her gently to the bed again, her head resting on the softness of the pillows. 

Gavin reached over to the night stand and pulled open the drawer and took out a small jar of something from there. It appeared to be lube of some sort and that caused her to hold her breath. She had thought he was done with her. 

"Turn over," Gavin said firmly but softly, his voice but a whisper, but a whisper not to be argued with either. Alex looked to him and panic flushed through her eyes. She knew, that he knew, her pussy was too sore for sex. Was he planning on making her ass as sore with his cock? She looked up to him. 

"Alexandria," he said with what appeared to be as much patience as he could muster. "I don't like repeating myself." She started to turn over, bracing herself for the broken glass to be pushed back into her as it was the night she was raped at the hands of her ex. Her mind stuck to that thought. Now she thought of it as rape? Before this night she thought of it as a bad sexual experience. Now she looked at it the way Gavin did. 

She blew out a calming breath as he helped her turn over. She looked up at him. Something in his eyes told her she was safe. He hadn't done anything to harm her. Only pleasure. He knew she was apprehensive. He twisted the jar lid off and dipped his fingers into the soft paste inside. 

He smiled as he rubbed his hands together under her eyes. He then stood and began to rub the cream into her back. The coolness of the paste brought a smile to her lips as her body was overheated and the coolness of the paste was a great contrast. He began to rub the paste into her body, her upper neck first, down to her lower neck. Across her shoulders he massaged. 

Alex looked to the jar, the writing was in French so she still didn't know what it was completely at first. She recognized moisturizing lotion on the label. It wasn't lube. It was skin lotion. She looked over her shoulder at him with her head still resting on the pillow. The secret smile was back as he watched her realize what was going on. He was giving her a massage. Nothing more. Well, it was Gavin so he knew just how to massage her to make her body react. 

Down her arms and to her hands, dipping his fingers from time to time in the jar on the night stand. It smelled like lilies in her nose. Its soft aroma caused her to sigh as he continued to massage the knotted muscles under her skin. Her upper body felt like it had lifted thousands of pounds. Thousands of pounds of his bedding. Soon he massaged that away. 

Moving down her back it felt as if he was pushing the subtle pain from her intense body shaking orgasms from her. Down from the top to her bottom. Her bottom. That's where his hands lingered as he massaged her cheeks gently, first one side then the other. 

Down the curve of her cheeks, she parted her legs slightly. Again he must have used his Jedi powers as she did this without being told. His fingers brushed gently across her sore sex and she held her breath as they did so. 

"I love that," he smiled and she looked back at him. She smiled. She loved making him smile. 

Down her legs he went, which had felt like they had run a marathon in his bed. He continued down her calves. She tried to brace herself for him to touch her feet. She had very ticklish feet! Somehow when he took hold of one foot he managed to massage the sole without bringing her into a laughing fit. He carefully put it down and started with the other. Again, nothing but pleasure. How in the fuck did he do that? 

"Turn over," Gavin said. As she attempted he helped her. She couldn't believe she lacked the strength to turn over! He went back to his erotic massage of her body. She couldn't believe that either. After all her orgasms she was getting turned on again! 

When he had fully massaged both sides of her he left her there as he went back to the bathroom. The water was shut off. She looked to Beth and Beth was admiring her. There was a tick of jealousy in her eyes as well. 

"Thank you," Alex said to her causing Beth to smile her smile. 

"No, thank you," Beth sighed. "That was the most erotic thing I have ever seen. To see what Gavin does to bring pleasure. You miss out on it when you are in the throes of orgasm. But tonight, I got to see what it looks like. What he loves about it. You were stunning to behold in your orgasms!" 

"Is it always like this?" Alex asked her. 

"Yes," Beth smiled. "But it is never the same." 

Gavin's entrance caused both women to stop talking. He carefully lifted Alex from the bed and carried her limp body from the bedroom. With one last look at Beth the elegant beauty in the chair gave her a knowing wink. 

In the bright lights of the bathroom she looked around. The bathroom was bigger than the apartment she shared with her roommate. There, against one wall, was a full shower stall with double glass doors. A dual sink and vanity covered another wall. The massive tub another. The steam rose from the hot water that Gavin had put in it while he massaged her. 

He gently lowered her into the water. The warmth of it welcoming her exhausted body. Enveloping her skin slowly. Once she was in Gavin set a fluffy oversized folded towel on the edge. 

"Just soak," Gavin instructed as he dumped some bath beads in. "Don't do anything but soak and watch." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex sighed. He pushed a button and the jets of the Jacuzzi injected a life of pleasurable bubbles into the tub. 

"Watch," Gavin said again. This time it meant something. "Do not avert your eyes." 

This concerned her. The last time he used that phrase he punished Beth with the flogger. Was he about to do it again? Did she displease him enough for a second reprimand? Was it because she couldn't stop her gyrations in the seat? 

She followed Gavin from the bathroom with her eyes. He walked to Beth in her chair and she stood steadily. He must of used his Jedi powers again as he hadn't said a word. Instantly she was undoing the buttons on his shirt before almost ripping it from his body and tossing it to the floor. She expertly undid the clasp on his pants and pushed them to his ankles as she dropped to her knees. 

For the first time she saw him. Completely. His erection firmly protruding from his body. It's bulbous head purplish and broad. He turned so Alex could see him in profile. But it was for naught. Beth devoured him whole. Causing Gavin to let his head fall back. 

Beth gripped the bottom of his shaft with her delicate fingers, pumping it to meet her mouth as she brought it down on him. Alex watched in amazement and jealousy from her position in the tub. She wondered what Gavin tasted like? What his cock felt like. She hoped she would find out soon. Even though her body was tired. Even though her pussy was sore, her churnings began again. But now it was her turn to be banished from the pleasures of Gavin. Now she had to endure watching. While it was completely erotic. It was also completely hellish. 

Beth put both her hands on Gavin's buttocks and pulled him deeper into her mouth. Soon her nose was nestle neatly into his man-scaped pubic hairs. She held him there, her hands gripping his muscled buttocks holding him deep within her throat. 

Alex lay her head on the soft towel Gavin had left for her. She gently ran her fingers over her breast as she watched Beth demonstrate her oral skills. It seemed she was adept as Gavin was in her mouth bringing pleasure. Alex watched as Beth let her tongue slip out of her mouth on the underside of his cock and watched the tip of her tongue flick against the sack containing his balls. This amazed Alex. She had never been able to deep throat, let alone hold a man in her throat while licking his balls at the same time! 

After what seemed like an erotic eternity Beth removed her mouth slowly from Gavin's cock. Pulling her mouth off slowly, Beth left a string of saliva from her lips to the tip of his cock. She let it hang there a moment before driving her mouth down to the base of his cock again. The muscles in her toned arms flexed as she pulled his hips to meet her face. 

"Holy fuck," Gavin grunted as she did so. Alex watched Beth look up at him while keeping him in her throat. Alex didn't miss the smile that danced in her eyes. It was the same dance she had seen when the man tripped at the coffee shop. A "yes, I made you do that!" smile in her eyes. 

She drug her teeth slowly back off his shaft as she bit gently on the head. 

"Enough," Gavin said lifting her off the floor. He spun her to face Alex and Beth locked eyes with her. That smile growing as she flicked an eyebrow up at Alex. Alex smiled from ear to ear. Gavin was right to wonder, who was the Dom? Right now, it appeared Beth was forcing Gavin to do her bidding, instead of the other way around! 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 02



Gavin wrapped his arms into hers pulling them behind her roughly causing her to bend at the waist. Again he used his Jedi powers on her as she opened her legs wide and waited with that secret smile. 

With his free hand, Gavin took his hardened manhood and guided it to Beth's entrance. Beth's eyes fluttered closed with passion. With one powerful thrust Gavin buried himself within her soft folds causing her to hiss with pleasure. 

"Fuck yes!" Beth barked. 

"You want to be fucked Beautiful?" Gavin asked. 

"Yes, Sir," Beth moaned as he left himself in her. His balls nestled against her clit. Alex had the full show before her. She could see both their pleasured covered faces. She could see Beth's beautifully toned body. Her flesh free from tan lines as the softness and elegance of her body was as evident as the elegance of her face. 

She could see Gavin's chiseled physique. His cock as it plunged deep within Beth's soft, wet folds. 

"As you wish," Gavin growled as he dropped his mouth to her body and nipped at her back and shoulder blades. 

With a ferocity of a mad animal, he took her. Standing there just in front of the doorway leading to the bathroom where the bathwater increased in temperature from the lovemaking. No, not lovemaking, the fucking going on in the master bedroom. 

Sore or not, Alex touched herself and slid a finger in. It hurt but also brought pleasure. She had read that was key in BDSM. A mixture of both. She had that now. She fingered herself slowly as Gavin ravaged Beth's helpless body. With her arms trapped by Gavin's strength Beth hung bent at the waist. At the mercy of Gavin's desires, unable to pull away even if she wanted to. And it was evident by the look of complete pleasure on her face she didn't want to! 

He reached out with his free hand and freed her breasts by pulling them from the lacy bra cups she wore. While he was there he twisted her nipples slightly and this caused Beth's face to redden from the paper white to bright crimson as Alex watched her orgasm start at her face, move down through her body and gush out her pussy and around the edges of Gavin's cock as it plunged into her. With droplets of cum dripping from their intertwined sex. Pushed from her by his vicious thrusts. 

It was as Beth described. Beautiful to behold. Gavin continued to pound away at the elegant woman as she thrashed her head about wildly as she went to her tip toes as another orgasm ripped through her body leaving more droplets to drip to the floor. 

Gavin reached around her and began to flick her button with his finger. This caused the soft spoken, elegant woman to squeal in pleasure before unleashing a torrential waterfall of foul language that caused Alex to cum softly in the tub as she arched her brows at the display. 

"Fuck yes! Fuck your pussy, Sir!" Beth nearly screamed. "Fuck it, please oh God fuck it!" Alex went from watching the dirty mouth slut transformation to Gavin who was watching both Alex in the tub as she pleasured herself, which made her stop immediately as she did not have permission to pleasure herself, and then Beth in the mirror surrounding the tub she was in. He seemed to be in complete control as he flicked her button causing a gush of liquid now to erupt from Beth's sex. He pulled his cock out just in time as Beth's cum washed from her to a small puddle on the floor. Alex watched with her jaw slightly agape as she realized Gavin timed it to happen exactly like that. Her cum squirting. 

When she was done he gruffly stuffed his cock back in her, sending the once elegant, regal woman back on a tirade of language best suited to the Navy or a biker bar. 

Alex looked to Beth and saw her face contorted with her massive orgasm. The sound of the cock plunging in and out of Beth's pussy filled Alex's ears and she longed for that to be her. She wanted more of Gavin. More of his expertise in bringing pleasure. 

Gavin's stamina was incredible. Alex marveled as he pummeled Beth's now cum soaked pussy for what seemed like an eternity. All the while the beautiful genteel woman Alex had met just a few days prior tossed her head in orgasmic pleasures. A woman who could only be described at the time as regal. As she whispered through her orgasmic throes. 

"Fuck me, fuck me. Fuck me!" 

In normal circumstances it would have been odd to hear such filth coming from such an elegant lady. But right now, this woman wasn't elegant. This woman was getting fucked and it appeared she was enjoying every delicious second of it! 

Gavin's impending orgasm began to fill his face and Alex marveled over that as well, that pleasurable pain like look on his face as his cum churned from his ball sack, tightening as it went. Through his shaft to the head, he pulled out and gripped the head viciously. Without a word of encouragement Beth spun gracefully to her knees facing him and peered up at him with that damn secret smile that Alex loved so much as she waited. 

Gavin released the head of his cock and the first rope of cum exploded from the tip hitting Beth's face and open mouth. The second shot of rope seemed just as powerful as the first. The third losing steam as it didn't hit Beth's face but instead landed on her body, then another and another as Gavin's animalistic growl as he fisted his cock and sprayed her with his seed. 

Beth never flinched, never moved and always maintained eye contact. She swallowed gently what had landed in her mouth and the smile came back as her tongue slipped out and went around the edges of her lips pulling more of him into her mouth to swallow. 

The whole scene put Alex's head into a spin of erotic pleasure. She opened her eyes to see Gavin lean down to Beth and kiss her gently on the lips. Alex raised her eyebrows. He was kissing her through the residuals of his own cum. That caused her to shudder in excitement. 

"Thank you, Sir," Beth whispered when he pulled his lips from hers. 

"My pleasure," Gavin smiled cupping her face gently. 

"No, it was mine," Beth said accepting his lips again. 

He slowly stood and looked down upon her with tenderness. Alex could see his semi-flaccid cock dangling before Beth. Without prompting Beth leaned into it and suckled it gently into her mouth causing Gavin's body to jerk with uncontrolled pleasure. She licked the head and squeezed the remaining cum from the shaft to the head of the cock before swirling her tongue around the head, removing the last drop of cum from his cock to her mouth. Smiling as she swallowed it. 

Gavin ran his fingers down her face and across her shoulder as he passed by her towards the bathroom. Beth dropped her head but turned her body to face Alex while still on her knees in the submissive position. 

Alex looked up to Gavin and became ensnared in his eyes. He gave her a playful wink and it brought a full, tired smile to her face. He walked over to the shower and Alex watched and admired him from behind. She could see fingernail streaks down his buttocks. Left there by Beth as she deep throated his cock. He spun the hot water on in the shower and felt it with his fingers. 

Alex looked back to Beth to find her looking at Alex through her lashes. Much like Alex had done while she sketched her. Alex watched her secret smile. It wasn't much of a secret, not now. She knew whey Beth smiled that smile! 

Alex surveyed Beth's body, her nipples were still erect. Her face had large ropes of cum on it, dripping down to her chin as gravity pulled it lower. She also had cum on her neck and breasts. All of it was beginning to drip from her body to her lap as she waited for Gavin's command. 

All in all, it was one more thing of beauty Alex felt compelled to capture. She wished she had her sketchbook so she could do that now. For, in time, her memory would not remember it like it was right now. Exquisite, beautiful and erotic. 

Gavin held his hand to Beth and she gently placed her hand in his and he took her into the shower. From her position in the tub Alex watched as Gavin bathed Beth slowly in the shower. Running his soapy fingers through her hair making sure to remove all of his cum from it. His fingers massaged her skin and cleansed his seed from her. God why was that so erotic? Alex's mind screamed at all the erotic pleasures she was witnessing and experiencing. 

Gavin shut the water off and pulled a towel to dry Beth off. Beth stood motionless and let him take care of her. She made no offer to help, nor did she make any move to hinder what Gavin was doing. Softly drying her skin before opening the glass door and leading her out. He pulled another jar of cream out and massaged her gently, putting the skin cream on her body while she stood, her legs parted slightly bristling when he touched her sex. 

He coated her entire body with the skin cream, going to his knees before her to make sure he got her calves and feet. Standing there over him Alex realized it appeared yet again Beth was the Dominant. But Alex knew better. This is what Gavin was. A Dom. A Dom pleasuring his sub, which in turn brought him pleasure. Full circle and the picture became clearer. The BDSM symbol that Beth so proudly wore made sense. It was a full circle of pleasure. Wave upon wave. 

Gavin rose and kissed her gently again. 

"Elizabeth, get us some fresh fruit for a snack," Gavin said to her before turning to Alex who lifted to a sitting position in the middle of the massive tub. "Perhaps some water as well, she might be a bit dehydrated." 

"Yes, Sir," Beth smiled as she winked at Alex and left them in the bathroom. Gavin climbed in behind Alex and she shuddered with excitement. He pulled the faucet apart and started the water again. Testing its warmth on his fingers before tilting her head back with a finger under the chin. He wetted her brown hair and she gasped in pleasure. He returned the faucet and pulled the shampoo from the side of the tub and rubbed it into Alex's head bringing her eyes to a close as he gently massaged the soap throughout her hair before bringing the faucet to life again. 

He was slow and methodical as he did this. When Alex opened her eyes from her gentle scalp massage Beth was back sitting on the step leading to the tub. A bright plate of fruit resting on the edge of the tub. Beth pulled a grape and pushed it gently into Alex's mouth, who accepted it greedily while Gavin ran his soapy hands over her tender body. Bathing her as he had Beth. 

Holy shit that was hot as fuck! Alex wanted to scream. But she didn't. Beth nodded in agreement, as if reading her mind.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 03



Chapter 6 

Alex awoke the next morning and it took several hazy seconds before her mind calmed enough to realize where she was. When her eyes first opened she recognized nothing and a panic washed over her. The room, the view out of the window. The bed she was in. Nothing. It all came back slowly. 

The softness of the sheets had her wrapped in a safe, mind numbing cocoon. She turned from her side to her back and the feel of her legs against her sex brought everything back to stark reality. The sharp sting of her raw outer lips caused her to flinch slightly. That brought the flood of memories. The stiffness of her muscles reminded her of the powerful orgasms brought on in, what was to her, the most erotic, satisfying night in her life. That brought her secret smile out. She felt it slide across her face and she closed her eyes and luxuriated in the feel. Her eyes fluttered open happily. 

Looking to the nightstand there was a small bowl of ice with a water bottle in it. She smiled broader. Gavin must have looked in on her in the night as the water bottle wasn't there when he brought her in. The ice was still there in the bowl, not melted, so it was recent. While she slept. Such tender attention to detail. She sat up and bit her lip as she eased into a seated position. Gavin's words came back to her. 

"Tomorrow, when you sit on your beautiful pussy, you will remember all of this," Gavin whispered. "As you shift to ease the pleasurable pain from how you sit, or how your underwear touches your raw sex, you will know that you have been had. That I own you. This body. This pussy. It's mine." 

Oh yes, she remembered every succulent word! Twisting the top off the bottle she drank thirstily from it, tilting the bottle and drinking nearly half before moving it from her lips. Her throat was raw from her moans and soft screams of ecstasy from last night. She wondered what Beth's throat felt like this morning. Was it just as raw from Gavin's cock being there? She had throated him expertly. Alex wondered if that was a learned trait or something Beth had naturally. Something to explore, something to strive for Alex decided. 

She eased from the bed and smiled the entire time her sex drug across the soft sheets of her bed. She remembered Gavin carrying her into this room after her bath. Gently laying her in the sheets before tucking the covers around her and kissing her gently. Like a daddy tucking in his little girl. He was so gentle. 

Then she remembered the way he fucked Beth. That was not gentle. A new fantasy filled her mind. To get Gavin to fuck her in the same manner. It wasn't a new fantasy, rather a reclamation of an old one. One destroyed by an overly zealous boyfriend who knew not of what to do, or how to do it. Gavin knew. Gavin knew very well. 

She found a soft, red silk robe draped over a chair near the door and slipped it on. The lusciously soft material rubbed across her nipples and they instantly reacted. She was horny again. Exhausted but horny! She didn't know if she could handle a replay of all of last night. But she would certainly take parts of it. Gavin's lips on her sex was one. The way his tongue danced in her making her think of nothing but the recesses of the deepest pleasures he could evoke. 

She found Gavin at the table on his computer. She watched him from the doorway leading into the kitchen. 

"Good morning," he said without looking up. 

"Good morning," she smiled sheepishly as she pictured his face buried in her. The way it looked when the only part of his face you could see was from the nose up as the rest was fully planted in her sex. 

"How do you feel?" He grinned telling her it was a rhetorical question for sure. 

"Aglow," she responded anyway the twinkle in her eye a confirmation of her truth. He turned and faced her in the chair. "Sir." She said quickly as she remembered after a few seconds of losing herself in his eyes. 

"Better," Gavin nodded. He watched her for a moment. "What is your question?" She shook her head that he saw her so easily. "I'm a Dom, I'm supposed to be able to read you." Again he read her and she opened her eyes wide in disbelief. 

"Alexandria," Gavin shook his head. "I'm not one who likes to repeat myself." 

"I'm sorry, Sir," Alex blushed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now." She told him what he wanted to know. 

"What does your mind tell you to do?" He asked her. A grin slid across her face as she lowered her head bashfully as the blood rushed to it in a heated boil. "I take it by your grin something...naughty?" She nodded. 

"So eager!" he chuckled. 

She nodded again as her face flushed with erotic heat at the thoughts that flooded her head of what she wanted to do to him, what she was willing to allow him to do to her. 

"Follow your instincts," Gavin suggested, gauging her carefully as he crossed his legs. "Let's see what your mind has told you to do." 

She went to him slowly removing her robe along the way, dropping it into a red, silky puddle. He tilted his head and smiled at her. Coming to his chair, she knelt slowly and dropped her head, before placing her palms face up on her thighs. 

"God damn," Gavin whispered. "That was the most beautiful thing you could give me this morning!" He marveled at the way she had taken to her role so quickly. It usually took weeks for some subs to know what pleased their Dom. This one seemed to be tailor made just for him. And she was eager to learn more. 

"Thank you, Sir," she said softly while her mind danced with glee to have pleased him. 

"Are you hungry?" Gavin asked her. She nodded. Gavin took her chin and tilted it up. She was looking into his eyes when he planted a gentle kiss on her lips. "You have pleased me a great deal. Both last night, and now this morning!" 

"I have done nothing," Alex said to him lost in the chocolate of his eyes. 

"Oh, how very wrong you are!" Gavin whispered as his finger traced her jaw line. 

"You have submitted yourself to me," he told her brushing his thumb across her lips slowly. "The greatest gift a person can give." 

She could see the turmoil building in his eyes. 

"Something troubles you? Sir?" Alex asked. 

"How very perceptive you are!" Gavin smiled ruefully. He also admired her ability to read him. Something Elizabeth could never do. This one had a little Dom in her. The question was, to nurture that side or to quash it to make her a full sub. A decision to be made by her next lover he decided. 

Gavin got up and retrieved her robe and held it for her to slip back on. She was very disappointed to cover herself. She enjoyed the liberating feel of being naked in front of him. Something she hadn't thought she would like until today. He smiled from behind. 

"For now," he whispered. She nodded and took his hand to help her up. "But for the moment, let me take care of you." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled taking the pulled out chair. She sat gingerly and he nibbled the back of her neck sending waves of pimply flesh across her body. 

"How is my pussy this morning?" he whispered against her neck, sending his hot breath across her skin. 

"Pleasured completely," she whispered back. 

"We haven't even begun!" she looked back at him with her own secret smile. "Consider all of last night, foreplay." 

"Holy shit," she whispered before she could stop the words. He kissed her lips from the side. 

Dishing up breakfast he placed it down in front of her and the smell rose to her nose and made her hunger more. She took a hungry bite as he watched her from his seat. She hadn't realized she was this hungry before the food was placed before her. The only hunger she had concerned herself before was the one to devour him. 

"Are you having second thoughts?" She asked him, in between bites as he watched her ear. She could see him thinking thoughts that clouded his eyes. She was desperately hoping that was not the case and he would still show her the world in which he and Beth lived in. 

"I never have second thoughts," he assured her as he watched her, his fingers forming a steeple in front of his face while he gaged her. Dissected her. Fucked her in his head. 

"There is no time for them," he sighed as he pushed the idea of taking her to the bedroom for his own meal from his head. 

She nodded and smiled as she watched his secret smile come out as he closed his eyes. Obviously he was thinking his own thoughts of naughtiness. She was very happy about that! 

"No, I am greatly pleased that Elizabeth has pushed me beyond my boundaries," Gavin smiled taking a strawberry and leaning towards her with it outstretched. She nibbled on it seductively. 

"The problem I have," Gavin smiled as he watched her lips suckle on the strawberry in his hand. "Well, other than the thoughts you are now eliciting...," he winked. 

"I'm just taking what you are offering me, Sir," she smiled as she licked her lips slowly with her tongue to wipe the juice from the strawberry off, causing him to raise his eyebrows and let his own naughty smile slid back across his face. 

"Something tells me you are going to be a great deal of pressure," Gavin sighed. 

"I'm sorry, Sir," she smiled while ducking her head. 

"Don't be," he whispered as he studied her lips. "Pressure makes us better. Pressure makes us stronger. Pressure brings out our truer selves. Some falter under it, some excel. I excel!" 

He shook his head to take the keep the thoughts he was thinking from dictating his behavior. 

"Where is Beth?" Alex asked when he sat back frowning when the moment was broken by his will. 

"She is at a conference in Los Angeles," Gavin frowned. "Which leads me to my problem." He turned his seat to face her. 

"You see, up until last night I had been monogamous," Gavin told her. "I have only had one sub at a time." 

"You have never had a threesome?" Alex asked surprised that he hadn't. 

"Yes, I have had a threesome," Gavin giggled. "A threesome is not two subs." 

"I don't understand," Alex shrugged. 

"I believe a Dom can only truly own one sub," he explained. "Only one deserves his or her utmost attention." Alex nodded and fought the frown that tugged at her lips. 

"Relax," he said rubbing his fingers across her knuckles. "I promised you four days, and four days is exactly what you will get. Alexandria make no mistake, I am a man of my words. I mean every one of them when I say them. Therefore, each one I say is carefully measured. So I need you to pay particular attention to what I say when I speak. I don't like repeating myself and I don't say things I don't mean." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled. 

"I'm going to show you the pleasures, the wonderful world I am a part of," Gavin said intensely. "But to do so...," 

"Please," Alex pressed him when he stopped. Pushing him gently. 

"To do so will violate a great deal of my absolutes," he finished. 

"I didn't know that this would bother you so much," Alex said apologetically looking at her plate. She didn't want to push him into something that made him uncomfortable. 

"I am very loyal," Gavin told her. "I have never fucked anyone since I have been with Elizabeth. I don't fuck other subs." 

"Ever?" Alex frowned. She wanted Gavin to fuck her like Beth last night. 

"Ever," he said firmly. Alex was crestfallen. The images of Gavin's strong hands on her while he thrust into her started to flitter away. His hands. She wanted his magnificent hands on her hips as he pulled her back into him from behind. Or his hands in her hair as they took fistfuls as he pounded her with his cock, or better yet, his hands around his throat like last night! 

"You have never done what you did to me with anyone other than Beth?" Alex asked. 

"Yes," he smiled. "I play with other subs. That is what I did with you last night. I played. But I don't fuck them. See the difference?" She nodded. So he could play with them he just wouldn't use that magnificent cock with anyone other than Beth. 

"And her name is Elizabeth," he corrected firmly. 

"I'm sorry, Sir," Alex smiled. "Elizabeth." 

"Now to make sure you understand me completely," Gavin said firmly. "I have been a part of this life for some years now. I have fucked many women. I have owned several subs and fucked each and every one of them. But only one at a time." 

"I see," Alex frowned. She could see the turmoil Gavin was having easily in his eyes. 

"Stand up," Gavin growled suddenly. His demeanor changing in an instant. She looked to him and hesitated. "Right fucking now...that's the way I say please." She stood immediately unsure of where the rage that filled his eyes came from so suddenly. 

"Turn around," he commanded as he stood pushing the chair he was sitting in back with his legs. She did so immediately. "Put your palms on the chair seat." She complied immediately her legs shaking slightly in the fear that pumped through her veins. She felt the soft robe lifted from her backside. The first stroke caused her to yelp out in unsuspected pain. 

"That is for hesitating," he growled. Then struck the other cheek with a stroke. "That is for not addressing me properly!" She squeaked on the second strike. 

"I'm sorry, Sir!" She whimpered as a wave of excited prickly heat washed over her unexpectedly. How in the fuck did that excite her so easily? 

"I know I told you I would not strike you until you decided," Gavin said calmly as he rubbed the reddening skin of her backside. "But I only have three days left to show you everything and I won't spend any more time correcting you on the simplest of things I have repeatedly said you should do!" 

"Yes, Sir!" She said, her voice shaking with both shock and excitement. His fingers moved to the heavenly space between her legs and he found her wet, which surprised her. "Thank you, Sir, for your guidance and your patience!" 

Once the surprise wore off, she realized he hadn't hit her very hard. She had birthday spankings that were with more force. She realized even in an anger he was controlled. His power controlled. He kept her safety in mind. 

"So eager," Gavin whispered as he slipped a gentle finger into her. She gasped with painful pleasure which caused her to shudder in remembrance of the previous night's pleasure. 

He returned to his seat and she remained prone to him. She looked back at him over her shoulder and watched him place his finger in his mouth drawing her taste from it. 

"Return to your breakfast," he commanded. She immediately sat and enjoyed every prickly painful sensation, the residual of his spanking. 

She ate silently and attempted to control the smile tugging at her lips. 

"It's ok," he smiled at her from behind his juice. "You can enjoy it, if that is truly what you feel." 

"Yes, Sir," she smiled. 

"Did you enjoy it?" Gavin asked her with an upturn of an eyebrow. 

"No," she whispered. "And very much YES!" 

"Welcome to our world," Gavin chuckled. "I can't wait to show it all to you!" 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex smiled. The three little words tumbled from her lips easily. 

She was dressing in the guest room when he filled the door dressed in an expensive suit. She looked up and saw him there watching her. She instantly hit her knees in the submissive pose. 

"I have to go on a call," Gavin frowned as he surveyed her eagerness, upset that he had to leave her. "We will discuss our situation later." 

"Yes Sir," she said with her eyes on the floor. 

"Clear your weekend," he told her turning with a disappointed exhale that caused her to grin. "You are at my command for the next three days and I want no interference. Not from your job, not from friends, not from family. You are mine for the next three days and I will have you unequivocally." 

"Absolutely, Sir," she smiled. 

"Lock the door on your way out," he smiled at her. "Keep your phone with you." 

"Yes, Sir," she nodded. 

Walking into her shared apartment she could smell the burnt scent of breakfast her roommate had made. She shook her head. Her roommate wasn't much of a cook and with her spending the night with Gavin and Beth she couldn't cook for her roomie as she normally did. She stopped and dropped her head. 

"It's Elizabeth," Alex whispered to herself in the entry way in reprimand. "You are Alexandria, she is Elizabeth and he...he is Sir!" Alex smiled when she said his title. Like the name itself would bring her pleasure and it did. 

"Hey!" Lena said when she saw her in the doorway to the kitchen. "Late night?" Lena snickered in tease as Alex smiled. 

"Yes," Alex said accepting the teasing. "How long did the smoke detector go off this time?" she asked her roomie with an arched brow in retort. 

"I think that damn thing doesn't like me!" Lena smiled as she sat down with her overdone, rubbery eggs and burnt toast. 

Alex shook her head and walked in and picked up her plate just before she was about to dig in. Alex scraped the plate into the trash and brought out fresh eggs. Ducking her head in the fridge she pulled out onions, green peppers and mushrooms. She cut them up quickly putting them into a pan to cook. 

"So are you going to tell me?" Lena asked as she picked up her coffee cup to look at her roommate while she worked on her new breakfast. 

"Tell you what?" Alex smiled not turning to her as she gently stirred the sizzling veggies while she whipped the eggs into a froth. 

"Where you were and who you were with?" Lena growled in disbelief at the coyness. 

"You don't know him," Alex shrugged. 

"Am I going to meet him?" her roommate asked, her interest now piqued that Alex had a man she didn't know about. 

"I don't know," Alex shrugged again as she poured the beaten eggs into the pan with the veggies and bits of ham before moving to the toaster to drop in fresh toast. 

"What do you mean 'I don't know'?" the anger caused the words to be sharp. 

"It's not like that," Alex shook her head. 

"Did you fuck?" Lena asked boldly. "Cause you needed fucked, grumpy puss!" 

"No, I did not get fucked," Alex smiled her little smile as she placed the plate of western omelet scramble in front of her roomie. 

"What's that little smile for then?" Lena asked narrowing her eyes and grabbing her by the wrist. 

"What little smile?" Alex asked innocently. 

"That 'I am just recently from an orgasm' smile?" Lena raised her eyebrows as she said this, daring Alex to attempt to lie to her. 

"I didn't say I didn't have an orgasm, I just didn't get fucked," Alex shrugged pulling her wrist free as the toaster popped up. 

She sat down at the table and kept her secret smile on causing her roomie to shake her head in contempt at the friend that had shared all...until today. 

"You're not eating?" Lena asked noting that there was no plate in front of Alex. 

"I've eaten already," Alex smiled looking at her sipping from her own cup of coffee. 

"Sorry you had to cook two breakfasts then," Lena frowned as she dug into her food. 

"I didn't," Alex laughed. "He made breakfast for me!" 

"Bullshit," Lena barked. 

Alex shrugged with her little secret smile and a gentle glance away. 

"That smile is killing me!" Lena warned. 

"Soon," Alex assured. "When I fully know what the deal is." 

"What," Lena furrowed her brow. Normally all men were discussed in detail. There weren't many as Alex was very picky after some bad experiences, but even a date that led nowhere was discussed thoroughly immediately afterward. This was the first time Alex had rattled of details and that had her worried. "Is he married?" 

"No," Alex shook her head with a roll of her eyes. "I just won't know for sure until Sunday what my deal is." 

"What your deal is?" Lena repeated as she didn't like the sound of it. 

Alex shook her head. 

"Can I have a name for this mystery man?" Lena asked, pouting that her once open roomie was now being secretive. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 03



"Gavin," Alex whispered. She almost called him 'Sir' but if she did she would have to explain the unexplainable! 

Alex was softly drawing from memory what Beth...Elizabeth...looked like last night in her cum stained form. She was right again, she couldn't do the scene justice from memory. Her phone chimed and she picked it up. It was a text but from a number she didn't recognize. 

Smiling after opening she realized it was Gavin. He must have taken her number from her phone while she slept. She laughed when she realized he was one step away from being a creepy stalker! 

Did you clear your weekend for me? The text read. 

Yes, Sir 

Good, meet me at the coffee shop where we first met. Park in the very back of the lot. 

Yes, Sir 

Alex sprung from the bed happily, stuffing her sketchbook in her bag and checked herself in the mirror. A quick touch up of her make-up and she made her way out. Lena looked up from her Kindle when she came into the living room. 

"What are you reading?" Alex asked her with her coy smile on. She was stalling as she didn't know how to explain to Lena she was leaving already, she had been out all night and only home for a few hours. Now she would leave again. 

"Glint on the Horizon, by C.J. Thomas," Lena said studying her shifting roomie. She looked uncomfortable. 

"Never heard of him," Alex shrugged. She was an avid reader as well, one of the things she and Lena had in common. Some nights were spent discussing favorite authors and books to the wee hours of the morning. 

"I'm on an obscure author kick," Lena shrugged her eyes burrowing in on her Alex. "This one is new, I hoping to find that author before he makes it big! You know, that way I can say...I knew him before!" 

"Any good?" Alex continued to stall. 

"Decent, not Stephen King by any stretch of the imagination but he's not bad either," Lena frowned as she watched Alex shift from foot to foot. "So get out with it!" Lena finally demanded. 

"I gotta go out," Alex told her picking up her keys. 

"Are you going to be out all night again?" Lena teased shaking her head at her. 

"I don't have any idea," Alex said with her secret smile. She hoped so. 

Lena lost her smile as she realized Alex was being serious. Lena had been only joking. 

"Where are you going to be?" Her roomie asked. 

"I don't have any idea," Alex shrugged again. "With Gavin, I don't ask questions, I just kinda go with the flow." 

"I get to meet this guy? Right?" Lena asked again shocked. 

"I don't know," Alex said sympathetically. "Like I said, I'm just letting go and going with the flow!" 

"That doesn't sound like the Alex I know," Lena pointed out, her eyes narrowing. This caused Alex to laugh out loud. 

"I'll give you that one," Alex nodded. "With Gavin...," Alex hesitated before she said more than she should. 

"You are going with the flow," Lena finished for her. 

"I can't predict what he is going to do, or how he is going to do it," Alex sighed. "I just know that whatever he decides, I'm going to enjoy every last second of it!" 

"Sounds like love!" Lena teased as she frowned at the secret Alex was having. She was still studying her friend. This was so unlike Alex. Alex the control freak. Alex that had repeatedly compared their life together as that of the Odd Couple. One was a slob the other a perfectionist. 

"It's...," Alex looked to the ceiling. She didn't want to say anything or to let anything slip out before she knew if she was allowed to say anything. How would she explain it anyway? Her idea of the BDSM lifestyle was shattered last night into a million pieces and now she was relearning the idea properly. But she couldn't put that into words yet. 

Her phone chimed. She pulled it out and recognized the number as Gavin's. She smiled and tapped a reply. 

"Is that the mystery man?" Lena asked. 

"Yes," Alex smiled as she hit send. "I've gotta run, don't wait up. As soon as I know something I'll let you know." 

"Ok," Lena shrugged. "If I don't get some info soon though, you and I, are going to have one hell of a fight!" 

"Promise," Alex swore. "Trust me." That brought out a chuckle that caused Lena to cock her head to as Alex had an inside joke. 

Alex pulled into the parking lot and as instructed she pulled into the employee area in the back. As soon as she turned her car off a shiny black Aston Martin pulled up in front of her and she smiled as she saw Gavin. She hopped out of her car pulling her art bag with her. It doubled as a purse. She pulled the door to the sporty black car open and Gavin stopped her with a look as he had his hand on the door handle on his side. 

"Close the door," he said sharply. She nodded and obeyed. He walked around the car and used his proximity to block her against the expensive car. 

"Alexandria," Gavin sighed. "Forgive me, but I keep forgetting you don't know the rules." She nodded. 

"For the rest of the weekend, you are not to open any door in my presence. That is my job. You will wait at every door for me to open it for you," he cupped her face with both hands as he stared into her eyes. 

"Yes, Sir," she whispered. 

"Call me old fashioned, but humor me," Gavin said staring at her lips. 

"As you wish," Alex smiled enjoying the way he was looking at her lips. Like a hungry man at Thanksgiving dinner wondering what to eat first. "Sir." 

"Dammit," Gavin sighed deeply again. "I wish I had more time!" 

"I am at your disposal," Alex smiled. "You have all the time you want or desire...four days or four weeks, four years..." 

"I could take an eternity and still run short of time," Gavin said interrupting her. She gasped at the words. "I like that." 

"I am here to please," Alex teased turning her head slightly to kiss the palm of his gentle, expertly gifted hands. "Sir," she said into his palm. 

Gavin sighed deeply and opened the door for her and she got in. He was muttering under his breath all the way around the car and even as he sat on his side. The smile on his face told her it was a happy muttering. 

Hitting the interstate, they headed north. Alex turned in her seat to watch him in profile. 

"You have questions," Gavin said without looking at her. 

"You have answers," she said assuredly. 

"I do," Gavin grinned. "Maybe not the right ones, but I have answers!" She giggled as she shook her head. Right now Gavin was the great and all powerful Oz to her. He seemed to have Jedi mind powers, and knew how to make a person's body react. He knew how to bring knee buckling pleasure with his words alone. So the idea he didn't have the right answers was laughable to her. 

"Where are you taking me?" Alex asked first. 

"Chicago," Gavin answered. "To a party." 

"I don't have anything to wear to a party!" Alex gasped. She looked him over and he was dressed in an expensive Armani suit. She was in blue jeans and a semi-revealing blouse she had worn just to tease him with her visible cleavage. 

"I will take care of it," Gavin told her. She went to object but Gavin cut her off. 

"Don't," he warned with a fire in his eyes and a single shake of his head. She swallowed hard and nodded. 

"I will purchase everything you need," Gavin said to her. "Again, it's my pleasure." 

"Taking me shopping is your pleasure?" Alex asked with a soft smile of admiration and a small tone of disbelief. 

"Yes," Gavin told her firmly. "And you are bordering on questioning me in a fashion that would result in harshness." 

"I'm sorry, Sir," Alex frowned. Trust she thought to herself and she would have to continue to remind herself. She wasn't used to someone taking care of her. She was used to guys that thought of their girlfriends as an afterthought. After they hung out with their friends. After they watched the game. After they got drunk. After they were done with the video games. After they had nothing else to do. 

Gavin was not an after kind of guy. He was attentive in every detail. From the cufflinks on his expensive shirt. To the way his tie matched his kerchief in his suit jacket. The way his watch band matched his expensive Italian shoes. The way he bathed the girls last night. The way there was a bottle of water by her bed this morning. Attentive. Caring. Loving gestures that showed he was thinking of them when they were in his presence and even when they weren't. The fact he paid attention to detail few did. 

He placed his hand on her thigh just above her knee and she cascaded into goose bumps. How in the fuck does such a simple gesture cause her to warm? How many guys had done a similar gesture and it didn't make her panties want to fall off? Then she realized. No other hand had ever caused her the pleasure of double digit orgasms as the one that now resided on her thigh. His masterful fingers gently rubbing her on the inside of her thigh just above the knee. 

"Next question?" Gavin encouraged. 

Yeah, Alex's mind snapped, how do you turn me into a raging slut with just a simple touch? How does your voice make my panties want to fall off? How is that when you look at me I just want to drop my head in your lap and take your cock into my mouth until you explode? How? How? HOW? 

"I need to let my roommate know when I will be back," Alex told him abandoning that line of questioning as her own. 

"I said, clear your schedule for the weekend," Gavin reminded tersely. 

"I did," Alex assured him measuring his tone. "But my roomie worries." 

"I will take you back Sunday night after you have made your decision," Gavin told her with a soft sigh. 

"I don't have...," she stopped talking when he looked at her. She was just going to point out she didn't have clothes for three days. But he stopped the words knowing what was coming. 

"I said you can't wear anything I didn't buy, or approve of ahead of time," Gavin reminded. "Don't worry, I'm taking you shopping for what you will need for the weekend." 

She shook her head slowly. He had to be a Jedi master. He could make people do things without saying, like Elizabeth opening her mouth to take his cum coated finger in. To making both of them lower their eyes when he looked to them. He could also see questions before they were spoken. 

"These aren't the droids you are looking for," Alex laughed softly looking at him while waving her hand across the dash. She was reliving the scene in which Obi-Wan and Luke had arrived in Mos Eisley space port and the Storm Troopers had stopped them looking for droids they had. 

"A Star Wars reference?" Gavin grinned appreciatively. 

"Yes, Sir," Alex laughed. 

"Explain," Gavin demanded with a smile and laughing eyes. 

"You have this whole Jedi mind power thing going," Alex told him. He looked to her. "You don't have to say things and things get done. You can make clothes fall off, panties to get wet, and fingers to get sucked. All without a word! It's like you are using Jedi mind powers and others do what you make them do!" 

"If you remember," Gavin laughed appreciatively as a Star Wars fan. "Jedi mind powers only work on the weak." She nodded. 

"You are not weak," he pointed out to her. 

"I'm a sub," she pointed out back with a proud smile. 

He tilted his head to her and blinked multiple times. 

"And you think that makes you weak?" He asked her. She lost her smile and shrugged. "It takes incredible strength to give up power and trust someone with everything. Especially if you are normally in control." Alex thought about that for a moment. Gavin saw her thinking. 

"How many people would give up control like that? No, no, no...only the strongest of people can do that. Which is why I'm a Dom. I'm not that strong." She stared at him in disbelief. Not only that he thought her strong but that he thought her stronger than him. 

"Look this lifestyle is about the exploration and attainment of knowledge. I have the knowledge that you have willingly and freely given yourself to me. Even if it's for a few days. I'm going to help you attain the knowledge of what makes you happy, both emotionally and physically. I'm going to help you attain the knowledge of what makes you sexually satisfied as well. You will learn a lot about yourself as you go through this life. More than you ever though possible." 

He looked to her and she had her eyebrows scrunched as she thought about that. 

"Yes it's about carnal and physical knowledge and satisfaction, but more so, it's about emotional and intellectual knowledge. Both attained and given. That turns out to be more erotic and satisfying that the physical portion." 

"I'm sorry," Alex smiled as she shook her head at his philosophical belief of the lifestyle. "My idea of the lifestyle is so wrong!" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Before last night, I always thought it was about degradation and humiliation. Pain. Funky weird sex toys and leather masks more suited to a horror movie! Whips, chains and one person's satisfaction." She explained. 

"Oh, Little One," Gavin laughed. "That is in our world as well, but the great thing about our life is that it isn't narrow. Only the narrow minded see it that way. When you fully immerse yourself in it, you realize that it's limitless!" 

"Limitless?" Alex gasped. 

"Think of it," he smiled. "Last night, I used my fingers on you to bring you to orgasm thirteen times. Now think of all the things that could be used?" 

"Dildos?" Alex smiled. 

"Narrow minded," Gavin laughed. She tilted her head. "Yes, I use dildos when I play, but nothing is out of bounds unless you limit yourself to it." 

"Chickens?" Alex teased sarcastically. 

"I'm sure it's been done," Gavin laughed with her knowing she was joking. "But I don't do farm animals." 

"There are people that do? I was joking!" Alex gasped in disbelief. 

"You are only limited by your imagination," he smiled. "That's why nothing should be off the table until you have experienced it. Informed decisions are the best decisions. Always." 

He shook his head. 

"I'll be honest with you," Gavin said looking forward. "I've never had a complete novice as my sub. All my other subs had been in the life. I realize now that I may be in over my head, I only have three days to impart a lifetime of knowledge because I want you to make an informed decision!" 

"YOU are limiting yourself to three days," Alex pointed out. "I'm on board for whatever you want." 

"I have my absolutes," Gavin reminded with a deep exhale. "But you, Little One, are making me rethink everything!" 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex smiled putting her hand on his. He looked down at her hand and she quickly removed it. 

"Next question," he ordered. 

"What do you do for a living?" She asked. 

"I'm a private physician," Gavin answered not elaborating on what 'private' meant. The way he said it said not to question further. 

"How long have you been into the lifestyle?" She asked next. 

"Twelve years," Gavin smiled. "I got into it by accident." She nodded but let him explain without prompting. 

"I was working in an emergency room in Chicago for my residency. Couple came in, very well to do. He had a...," he looked to Alex and shook his head with a smile. "He had a toy inserted in his anus." Alex's mouth dropped. 

"He was a powerful business man, well known. Respected. Very prominent in the community," Gavin continued. "The woman he was with, was not his wife." 

"Oh shit!" Alex marveled with a chuckle. 

"Oh shit doesn't begin to cover it!" Gavin laughed. "He was a sub...," 

"Wait!" Alex closed her eyes as she tried to wrap her mind around that. "A powerful business man that wasn't the Dom?" 

"Very common in our world," Gavin nodded. "Most business elite like to be dominated the way they dominate in the business world. It relieves them of all decision making and relieves all the pressure they go through in their daily lives. The woman he was with was his Dom, they were playing when they got a little over zealous with anal play and the toy broke." 

"Holy shit," Alex laughed. Gavin nodded. 

"Anyway, a muscle relaxer and a pair of forceps later, I removed the toy," Gavin grinned. "He was concerned how that was going to be explained in his medical charts. I told him I was going to put that he had a laceration from a hunting trip. It would explain why he couldn't sit for a while and the pain killers I prescribed for him." Gavin shrugged. 

"They appreciated my discretion," Gavin finished. "The next weekend, I was invited to a high end party, a party very much like the one I'm taking you to tonight." 

"Next thing I know, my senses are being bombarded with everything I see, everything I touch. The smells. The feelings. The sensations!" Gavin shook his head as he remembered what it was like to be in Alex's shoes. A novice, unaware of the world she was about to witness. 

"What am I going to see?" Alex asked as she adjusted in her seat as the warmth between her legs began spreading. Just being in his presence and listening to his warm molasses like voice was a turn on enough, but now she thought of all the thing she might see. 

"You are going to see things that will turn you on," Gavin said to her. "You are going to see things that horrify you." Gavin shrugged. "You are going to see things that will leave you without words." 

"Would it be wrong to tell you that I'm afraid?" Alex asked him honestly. 

"We all fear the unknown," Gavin assured her. "The thing is to not let the fear dictate how you live your life." 

He looked to her and got very serious with her. His eyes told her what he was about to say was measured and without question. 

"I will be there the whole way," Gavin told her. "I will never let you be harmed. Ever!" 

"I know," Alex smiled as she laid her head down on the back of the seat and stared at him admiringly. "I trust you, Sir." 

"I can't stress how protective I am, just know that when we enter the room...everyone will know who you belong to and you will be treated with a respect you have never been treated with before," Gavin's voice was firm. 

"Yes, Sir," Alex smiled. "Thank you for protecting me!" 

"Next question," Gavin stated looking back towards the road. 

"Have you ever been a sub?" Alex was teasing for sure but her jaw dropped when he nodded. 

"For a week," Gavin told her. "I said informed decision are the best ones. It's not who I am, so the entire time it was...well it was horrific. You can't be someone you're not without it showing, but most of all, I lacked the strength to let go! Make no mistake Alexandria, the sub is always the stronger of the two in the dynamic. Without the sub, the Dom doesn't exist." 

"I'm a Dom," Gavin said with conviction. "And I'm considered a good one." Alex nodded. She assumed he was a great one but she didn't argue. 

"Are you and Elizabeth going to get married?" Alex asked softly. 

Gavin laughed. 

"We don't love one another," Gavin told her bluntly. "We have been together for about a year now, but our relationship isn't about that type of love. Yes we love one another, but it's an arrangement." Alex furrowed her brow. Gavin looked to her. 

"The short answer to your question is, no, we aren't going to get married as we don't love one another enough to marry," Gavin shrugged. 

"It could grow?" Alex pointed out apprehensively. 

"If it hasn't grown in a year, it won't ever grow into it," Gavin pointed out. "We like the way it is now, but...," 

"But?" Alex asked. 

"I think Elizabeth may be ready to move on," Gavin said sadly. 

"What?" Alex barked out a gasp of disbelief. How would anyone leave the pleasures of this man? 

"Remember this life is about pushing boundaries," Gavin reminded. "I have my absolutes, she has her absolutes and you will have your absolutes. On Sunday you will have a better idea of what your absolutes are and then you can discuss them with me. I will then steer you to a Dom that would suit you." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 03



"Wait," Alex stopped him. Her brain screeched to a sudden halt as he mentioned her with another Dom. "I want you!" 

"We'll see," Gavin frowned. "I have my absolutes." 

"I don't understand," Alex said shaking her head. "Beth won't leave you and I want you and only you!" 

"You don't know that you want me," Gavin smiled. "When you see all that is available, you may change your mind. And Elizabeth leaving is a forgone conclusion." 

"Why?" 

"Because I'm a Dom," Gavin said shaking his head. "I have pushed her as far as I'm willing, but she wants more. More than I am willing to give. More than I'm willing to allow." 

"So she wants you to marry her?" Alex asked. 

"God no!" Gavin gasped. "Elizabeth is not the marrying type, she has no interest in it." 

Alex's face told him she was confused. 

"In our world, the life ranges from vanilla to the extreme. From vanilla sex every other Tuesday with the lights off to soft bondage, like I did with you last night. To extreme bondage, like a rack or cages," Gavin explained. Alex gasped. 

"You will see it all at this party. It will overwhelm you. You will see women tied to a rack and multiple men fuck her at once or in a line. You will see wax pouring on nipples from hot candles, hooks in skin. Toys inserted in places that you think they won't fit. Fisting. Bathroom games. Electric shock." 

"Please, Sir. Continue," Alex whispered when he stopped talking. 

"Elizabeth is wanting to go more extreme than I wish to go," Gavin explained. "I have my absolutes, while Elizabeth has gotten me to break one or more absolutes, there are some that I will not break. Not even for her." Alex nodded. 

"Like?" Alex asked him. She the regretted it as he leveled her with his eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir." 

"No, perhaps you should know," Gavin exhaled deeply remembering she was a novice and unware that she should question him about certain things. "I don't do drugs, I don't drink often, I don't do extreme. I'm too controlled for any of that. Elizabeth likes the drugs. She likes to drink. She wants the extreme. I have forbidden her to do the drugs while she serves me, but I know she wants them and she dabbles in them when she thinks I'm not paying attention." 

"You? Not paying attention?" Alex scoffed at the idea. This man paid attention to everything! Gavin winked at her in thanks for what he took as a compliment. 

"To push her further will require another Dom, one more in line with her desires," Gavin shrugged. "But one of my absolute absolutes is, I don't share my sub. She is mine. Any other Dom touches my sub will regret it to their dying day. This is known and respected. A Dom doesn't touch an owned bottom. That is an absolute that none dare to violate. It is like rule number one amongst Doms. Respect each other's property." 

"A bottom?" Alex asked. "You mean there might be those who touch my ass?" 

"Yes bottoms, and absolutely not. No Dom will touch you even if you ask. I have to give permission for another to touch you and..." Gavin looked to her. 

"You don't share subs, an absolute, absolute," she finished for him with a smile. 

"Absolutely," he said firmly. 

"In our world, you have Doms, they are called 'Tops' as well. Subs are called 'bottoms' and then there are 'switches'." 

"You called me that last night," Alex pointed out as she remembered that name vaguely from her orgasmic haze. 

"A switch does both," Gavin explained. "They are willing to be both Top and bottom depending on what they feel like at that moment." 

"So you think I'm a 'switch'?" Alex asked him. 

"I don't know," Gavin smiled. "You have to decide that for yourself. This is a free lifestyle, one in which everyone must make the ultimate first choice. I'm a Dom, it's all I want to be. That's what I chose ultimately to be. Some only want to be subs. Some want both. Whatever your desire...it can be found in our world. Now, if you are lucky to find that one who is a perfect match for you, if that is what you seek, one for all time. One that not only meets your desires but pushes you to the very limit and makes you take the next step, when you are damn sure you don't want that next step...well, then the lifestyle is complete." 

"Are you looking for that one?" Alex asked him. Her smiled broadened when he didn't commit he just smiled looking ahead. She realized that subject was done for the time being so she moved on with her myriad of questions. 

"So do you have a clinic? Or do you still work for a hospital?" Alex asked him. 

"Neither," Gavin smiled. "Once I was firmly entrenched in the lifestyle an investment banker talked me into becoming a private physician. See I was having to see him and his sub on a regular basis. He talked me into working one on one with the rich. Now I cater only to high end clientele. The elite. I am on 24 hour call anywhere in the world. I am paid extremely well for my discretion." 

"Why did you have to see him on a regular basis?" Alex asked. 

"He was a lousy Dom," Gavin frowned. "He kept going well past boundaries in the heat of the moment and hurting his sub." 

"Oh my God!" Alex gasped. 

"Make no mistake, our world is like everything else. We have a wide range of everything. From excellent to down-right shitty," Gavin explained. "We have excellent Doms, and terribly embarrassing Doms. Doms that give the rest of us bad names. We need doctors like me to help keep our lifestyle safe and quiet. If you are in our world and live in the four state area of Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan or Indiana and you can afford me. I'm your physician." 

"I see," Alex smiled. 

Pulling into a high end boutique in the northern suburbs of Chicago she went for the door but stopped. She looked to Gavin who waited for her to make the mistake. He winked at her when she looked at him. 

"Thought I was going to have to spank you again!" Gavin smiled. 

"If that would please you, Sir," Alex smiled as she sat back happy that she remembered in time about not opening doors. She had never had that problem before. No man had opened her door for her. Not even at Prom! It seemed the whole men opening doors went out with the women's lib movement. 

"You please me," Gavin smiled and got out. She couldn't get her breath back from the comment until the air from outside hit her face when he opened the door and held his hand to her and she took it to get out. 

Walking into the boutique the ladies inside went instant smiles as soon as he entered. 

"Dr. Steward!" they called out. 

"Ladies," Gavin smiled. It was obvious that Gavin was well known in this store. He was also desired as well as each and every woman undressed him with their eyes and it wasn't missed by Alex. A spike of jealousy hit her and her eyes hardened on one woman who came to them. 

"What can we help you with today, Sir?" The woman asked looking Alex over with a gentle jealousy. The 'Sir' wasn't missed by Alex and she wondered which 'Sir' she was using. The 'Sir' of proper etiquette of addressing a male paying customer. Or 'Sir' being the proper etiquette of addressing a Dom. Either one didn't matter, she still didn't like the way she was looking at Gavin. 

"Alexandria is going to a party with me tonight," Gavin explained. "Can you use your expertise to find her the right dress to accentuate her stunning beauty?" Alex flushed and stopped caring about how the woman was looking at Gavin and shifted her own eyes to Gavin's who was now picturing her in his mind and it showed in his eyes. It caused her to smile and look away to keep the fire for erupting between her legs. 

"I will do my best, Sir," the woman smiled but Alex saw through it. The woman was jealous and it hit Alex like a truck. Gavin seemed to either not notice which she quickly dismissed as ludicrous. Or didn't care which was more likely. "Any special considerations?" 

"No," Gavin said smiling at Alex. "She will already be the talk of the party, but now I want the others to be insanely jealous of me for having such a stunning beauty on my arm. It's for my ego, you see, and I want to be left breathless." 

"As you wish," the clerk smiled. "Sir." 

Alex left Gavin as he sat in a nearby chair near the dressing rooms. 

"Do you wish to see the dress?" the clerk asked. 

"No," Gavin smiled. "I want the whole picture at once. For now, she needs under garments for three days. Sleep wear. And clothes for three days." 

"Yes, Sir," the clerk nodded. "I will have her model them for you." 

"Thank you," Gavin pressed his fingertips together and stared at Alex who warmed under his gaze. Damn Jedi mind powers she mused. It's going to be real hard to explain her dampened panties if he keeps looking at her that way she thought. 

Alex was taken into a dressing room and ushered in. 

"Just wait here," the woman smiled pleasantly but it was false and it screamed at Alex. "I'll bring you what you need." 

"Can I pick them out?" Alex asked stopping her. 

"Miss, this is what I do for a living," the clerk told her shortly. "Dr. Steward is very particular. I know exactly what he wants. Do you?" Alex fumed at the tone in which the woman used with her. But the clerk was right. She didn't know Gavin's desires. What he liked or what he didn't. Alex looked away without answering her questioning smile, which was answer enough. It didn't stop Alex from making a face at her after the snotty saleswoman left. She then rolled her eyes for the childish behavior.  

The clerk returned with a selection of lingerie and clothes for Alex to put on. It struck Alex as funny as she never asked for a size, nor did she bring multiples of the same garment in different sizes. It was as if woman would just know her size by the few seconds she stood next to her. 

Alex was equally shocked when trying on the first bra and garter set. The outfit fit perfectly, like it was a second skin. When Alex looked to her after putting them on the woman smiled as if to say, "I told you so." 

"Ok," Alex smiled. "I'll take this one." She said looking herself over in the mirror. 

"Uh-hmm," the woman laughed covering her smile of mocking. "You must be new. It's not your decision. Dr. Steward is waiting." The woman said opening the door for her to step out. Alex hesitated momentarily as she thought about walking out only in her underwear into what could be a busy store. 

"Hesitation?" the woman scoffed. Alex glowered at her before stepping out and away from the clerk's laughing eyes. Alex wished she was more confident because the woman was laughing at her with her eyes the entire time and it made her blood boil. 

Gavin nodded appreciatively as she made her way to him. He surveyed her completely before tilting his head in thought as he read her. He moved his eyes to the clerk who was smirking at Alex and her discomfort. 

"You are aware Alexandria belongs to me?" Gavin asked the clerk in a tone tinged with reprimand, wiping the smile off her face. Alex looked to her as the clerk gasped in recognition. 

"I wasn't...I am...," the clerk bowed her head and went red with embarrassment. "I am sorry." The saleswoman fumbled. Her eyes darted around as the other clerks looked on her in disbelief that she would draw the ire of this man. 

"Alexandria," Gavin said shifting his eyes to her from the clerk as he stood he walked to her. He gently touched her cheek softly letting her know that the anger wasn't aimed at her. "You look stunning." She smiled and bowed her head in thanks. "Would you excuse us?" Alex nodded and turned quickly, afraid he would see the hesitation in her eyes. She wondered what he was up to. 

Alex listened while in the dressing room as Gavin said something to the clerk but she couldn't hear him clearly as his voice never raised above a whisper. The tone was unmistakable. It was a dressing down of the clerk. A scolding for her lack of respect. Alex peeked through a crack in the door to see the woman bow to him before retreating to her. 

In the room, the clerk made no other snide comments. Was gushing in her praise and her respect. It was as if a completely different sales person had joined her in the dressing room. One that liked her. One that wasn't jealous of her. 

Each and every outfit was modeled and approved of by Gavin as he sat in the chair. He would get up each time and inspect the garments closely on her body. Touching them from time to time. A soft piece of lace against her skin here or satin there. Each would cause rivers of goose bumps across her skin. She would close her eyes at the touch and sometimes hold her breath when his fingers would come dangerously, erotically close to her sex from time to time. 

"I love the way you hold your breath," he whispered into her ear causing her to tilt her head into his lips. 

"How could I not hold my breath? I love the way you touch me, it takes my breath away!" She whispered her secret smile coming out. 

After trying on the last of the outfits and undergarments another woman stepped into the dressing room and handed her a garment bag. This woman had a look of authority about her and the clerk that was helping her lowered her head when she entered the changing room. The air of the woman screamed a demand for obedience and respect. The way she was dressed was entirely different that the other women in the store. The way she walked. The way she held her head. All of it reminded her of Gavin. 

"What is this?" Alex asked her. 

"Your dress," the woman smiled. 

"Shouldn't I try it on?" Alex asked her looking at the zippered bag. 

"Dr. Steward was very specific," the woman shrugged. "No, he doesn't want it seen until tonight." 

"How do I know it will fit?" Alex asked her but wanted the words retracted immediately after seeing the anger in the woman's eyes. 

"Be careful, Little One, do not question me," the woman warned. "Or you Dom will be told." 

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered. 

"I have punished many a sub for less. I do not take kindly to being questioned on my choices. While Gavin is giving you a grace period...I will not. I assure you while I may not be able to punish you as I would my own sub, no Dom wants their sub being disrespectful to another Dom!" the woman warned turning and leaving Alex in the dressing room. Embarrassed for her questioning. Now she understood what the poor clerk had gone through with Gavin. She looked to the clerk with her who smiled sympathetically. An instant connection. 

Alex wore one outfit out of the store. An outfit approved of by Gavin as was his command from the previous night that she couldn't wear anything in his presence that he hadn't approved of. While he liked the outfit she wore to meet him in, it wasn't approved and it was put in the bag with her other purchases. 

Alex walked to Gavin as he spoke to the woman who had brought the dress to her. Her eyes shifted to Alex and a smile crossed her face as Alex made her way to them. 

"Thank you Gavin," the woman said to him. "And you are right, she is exquisite!" 

"Thank you," Gavin smiled as they both looked upon Alex with a lust. It made Alex squishy down there. 

Gavin carried the bags to the car and put them in the trunk. While she waited by her door she found it was both an uncomfortable feeling and a luxurious feeling. She was being spoiled being waited on hand and foot by her Dom! Her Dom. 

Her mind swam at the ideas that flooded her. The idea of what the BDSM lifestyle used to mean to her and what it was becoming to mean for her. Before it was about abuse, degradation and humiliation. Pain filled torture for one person's pleasure. 

Now it was being spoiled in everything. From the multiple, mind boggling, body shaking orgasms. Orgasms that she could feel the next day. To gentle massages that brought her pleasure, to something as simple as opening a door for her. Combined it made her body warm and the desire to thank him with her body overwhelmed her. Could she seduce him into pleasuring her? Would he allow her to show her appreciation by letting her pleasure him sexually? Was she capable of bringing the pleasure he had brought to her? 

The reminder that he would not fuck another sub while he had one caused her to frown. Something he didn't miss. 

He was about to say something when his phone ringing stopped him. She would have to figure out a way to keep her thoughts from the Jedi master if possible. She shook her head as she looked out the passenger window with a frown. He was a Jedi. There would be no way she could keep things from him. 

"Hello?" Gavin said watching her as he pushed the hands free answering system from his steering wheel. 

"Hello, Sir," Beth's voice filled the cabin. Gavin looked to his watch. 

"I take it this is very good news and you took an earlier flight or very bad news," Gavin frowned. Alex looked to him feeling a disturbance in the force with his tone of voice. 

"It's very bad," Beth warned. 

"I told you not to go," Gavin pointed out. 

"I know, I'm sorry," Beth pleaded. 

"Where are you?" Gavin's anger couldn't be missed, it bubbled from him and threatened to explode. 

"I'm still in L.A.," she told him. This caused him to growl. 

"Next flight?" Gavin hissed. 

"Not till tomorrow," Beth whispered meekly. 

"So for Alexandria's first party you won't be there," Gavin pointed out his temper teetering on the edge of explosion. 

"I'm sorry," Beth tried again. Alex knew as well as Beth did, it was wasted breath. 

"Obviously not enough," Gavin growled. "Is there anything you need?" 

"No, Sir," Beth sighed. The disappointment could be felt from across the country. 

"Call me when you are about to get on your flight," Gavin told her. 

"Yes, Sir," Beth said. "Alexandria?" Gavin rolled his eyes as his angry thumb hovered over the off button for the Bluetooth. 

"Yes Elizabeth," Alex said, watching Gavin, gauging his reaction. She didn't want to draw his ire, nor did she wish to make him angrier. 

"I'm sorry that I'm delayed," she explained. "I wish I could be there to see your face as Gavin shows you around!" 

"I wish you were here too!" Alex said. Now she knew it would be at least tomorrow before Gavin fucked her! She knew he wouldn't fuck her until Beth was there to take part and that pissed her off as she wanted to feel Gavin's cock sliding in and out of her. 

The thoughts of what she might see tonight had her horny enough and she only imagined that was going to get worse when she actually saw the things. If the spanking of Elizabeth last night was enough to fire her up, what would a world of sensations, bombarding her, do to her? 

"Take care of Gavin for me," Beth told her. "Like I would." 

"That's not up to me," Alex told her looking to Gavin. 

"It is tonight," Beth told her. "He is totally yours for tonight. Tonight you are his sub, you are to take my place in everything. Do not disappoint me!" 

"I will do my best," Alex said, smiling at Gavin as he shook his head. 

"Sir?" Beth said. 

"Yes," Gavin huffed wanting to get off the phone before his temper exploded. 

"Please use Alexandria the way you would use me," Beth told him. "That is why she is there, my gift to you!" 

"No promises," Gavin said before punching off the phone. 

Alex could feel the anger radiating off him and it forced him into a silence Alex was afraid to break. So they rode in the uncomfortable silence. 

"I'm sorry," Gavin finally said as he pulled into the Drake Hotel. He shook his head at the valet telling the man to wait before opening the door. Alex marveled that the man stopped and folded his hands in front of himself and waited. Again Obi-Wan had come out. 

"For what?" Alex asked trying to make it sound like it was not big deal. She knew it was, just for him to apologize it meant something. 

"My temper," Gavin explained. "It's a controlled thing now, but in my past it was pretty bad. I don't think there is a bedroom I have had in my life that didn't have some sort of hole in the wall from a temper tantrum I had." Alex laughed because Gavin did. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 03



"It's fine," Alex assured him with a soft pat of his hand and a run of her fingers across his wrist causing him to twitch with a shiver of excitement. 

"It's unacceptable," Gavin smiled at her. She removed her hand thinking that was what he was speaking of but he took her hand quickly. "No, my temper," he clarified. She smiled and continued to run her fingers over him causing his eyes to flutter closed. 

"You are making it so hard to be a good boy," Gavin cautioned her with a smile and a nod to the valet that he could open the doors. 

"I like it hard," she whispered boldly in his ear. As the valet opened his door she ran her hand along his cock through his pants. Gavin locked eyes with her and grinned broadly. 

"So eager!" he whispered. Alex nodded in response.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 04



Gavin waited patiently in the living room of their suite which was breathlessly extraordinary to her. She walked around mesmerized as Gavin watched her with his secret smile when they first arrived. They were going to dinner first before going to the party which Gavin refused to elaborate on despite her many pleas. He only told her it was something to witness, not to describe as words would never do it justice. 

He was flipping through Alex's sketchbook when the doors to the bedroom opened and Alex stepped into the living room. Gavin rose from his chair and started at the top of her head and drifted downward. He had called both a make-up artist and a hair stylist to come to the suite to prepare her for the evening. That blew her away. Never before had anyone treated her with such luxuries! 

He let his eyes devour her. She bowed her head submissively letting him taste her with his eyes. To drink her in. She loved the way he was looking at her. He came to her slowly and walked around her, inspecting and admiring every inch of her. 

His fingers brushed her available skin, and in the dress she was wearing there was a lot of available skin to touch. It caused ripples of pleasured goose bumps to cross her. It also caused her nipples to harden and they became soft lumps in the thin fabric of the magnificent dress she wore. 

The unknown dress that was in the bag was stunning when she finally saw it. It covered her, but didn't at the same time. It was see through except for the areas that had to be covered. There was lots of skin not covered and what was covered could still be seen through the lace for the most part. 

The blue color of the dress brought out Alex's eyes and when she looked in the mirror she didn't recognize the beauty that looked back. It looked like someone else in the mirror. Maybe it was a magic mirror Alex decided. Everything else about Gavin and this new world was magic, why not the mirror? Mirror, mirror on the wall she teased the stunning woman in the reflection. 

"Oh my," Gavin whispered. "You have taken my breath away!" 

"Shall I breathe some into you?" Alex asked boldly. 

"I need it," Gavin smiled as he touched her face. She moved closer to him and pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply. 

"Oh my, so eager!" Gavin smiled when she broke her kiss. 

"Eager to serve you, Sir," she whispered back. 

He tucked her hand into his arm and escorted her from the room. Walking from the elevator all heads turned to them and she flushed under their gaze. Her head dropped. 

"Absolutely not," Gavin whispered. "Head up, let them bask in your beauty!" She lifted her chin and kissed his outer arm in thanks. 

The valet tripped rushing to open her door and nearly fell while she waited for him. He apologized with his eyes but it reminded her of the coffee shop with Elizabeth that first day. She had caused her first stumble with her looks. 

"I thought he was going to hit the pavement," Gavin chuckled when they were both in the car and he began to pull out. Alex giggled. "Must have tripped over his tongue." 

"I'm sorry," Alex smiled. "I'm only for you to look at." 

"Can't say I blame the kid, I had the same problem," Gavin grinned. 

"Please, Sir," Alex said softly looking at him with a hunger that wasn't missed. "Don't hurt your tongue, I would like to use it later." 

"So eager!" Gavin gasped. Alex bit her bottom lip for her boldness. She wouldn't have dreamed of making a statement like that before. Now she was making them without thinking. Gavin made her make her thoughts known. She decided then and there, no holding back. Be bold! 

The restaurant was crowded but Gavin was taken right to a table despite the fact there were several people waiting. Alex felt like she was on display as she walked with Gavin following the maître D' to their table. Every man looked. Most women did as well. Some looked on their men with jealousy. Some looked on her with lust. She liked it. All of it! 

"I love the fact you can make an entire restaurant stop and stare," Gavin smiled as he looked at the menu. 

"They were looking at you," Alex whispered. 

"Not a chance," he smiled shaking his head. "Nobody was looking at me, I could have been in a monkey suit and nobody would have noticed me walking next to a beautiful woman like you." 

"I was looking at you," Alex told him running her fingers on his arm. 

"You keep that up and I'm going to fuck you here in the restaurant," Gavin threatened with a smile. Alex started to get up. Gavin looked to her. 

"Here at the table or should I wait in the restroom?" Alex smiled boldly testing her own resolve. 

"Oh! My! So eager!" Gavin gushed as he took her hand to his lips. Alex stood by the table waiting for his command. Gavin looked to her as she stood there. "You're serious?" 

"I am at your every command," Alex told him. "Your desires, are my desires. Your wishes are my commands." 

Gavin sat back in his chair and looked at her. He was stunned and it was showing in his eyes. She was happy to have that effect on him. 

"In all my life," Gavin began slowly, mesmerized by her beauty, not in the physical sense but her inner beauty that only those who knew her would know. "No one has ever said that to me." He whispered. "For the first time in my life, I have no words! Measured or unmeasured!" 

"For the first time in my life, I have said those words to someone," Alex told him. "I will never utter them again, to anyone except you." 

Gavin's jaw dropped visibly. Again Alex relished in it. She also thought about what he said. No one had said that to him? Not even Elizabeth? He mentioned he had owned several subs, none of them made a statement like that? It seemed to roll off her tongue easily, like it was supposed to be said to him. What other words would move him that way, she wanted to find them. To separate herself from the others. To make her stand out in his mind. 

"Please," he smiled tilting his head to her chair. She sat but frowned subtly. He of course, didn't miss it. 

"Soon," he whispered in her ear as he kissed her temple. 

"You are going to fuck me?" she asked him while his lips were pressed to her temple. "Because, I want it all. Your hands, your lips, your body...your cock. Your cum." 

"Switching on me?" Gavin grinned against her temple. 

"I will have you," Alex said boldly. "One way or another." 

"I will have you," he whispered as he let his tongue pull her earlobe into his mouth. 

"Tonight?" she asked as she melted in her seat. 

"If it pleases you," Gavin whispered. 

"It would," she returned softly thankful that he may not wait for Elizabeth before using her in ways she wanted to be used. "In ways I have yet to fathom!" 

Gavin pulled his Aston Martin into the circle drive of enormous home just south of the Wisconsin border. It was out in the country, isolated, with no other homes visible. There were lots of cars around the large home. Limos, Ferraris, Porsches, Mercedes, BMW, Jaguars. They were all represented. It looked like a car lot for the uber rich. 

Gavin pulled her door open and held his hand for her and she took it quickly. She moved to the side and let him shut the door as a valet came and got in the driver's side to take the car away. He moved his body to her and pressed her to the car with it. She smiled up at him then lowered her eyes as she was supposed to. 

He tilted her head up. 

"Are you ready for this?" He asked her carefully gaging her. 

"I am ready for you," she whispered getting lost in him. "As long as you are there, I am ready for anything!" 

"So eager!" he smiled. "One last thing." He put his hand in his suit pocket and pulled out a lace and satin choker necklace it looked like. She studied it as he held it up. 

"This is your collar," Gavin explained. "In our world, a collar means you are owned. If you are owned, no one is permitted to lay a finger on you without permission. By your owner." She nodded that she understood. Somehow that knowledge made her feel safer. She was worried there would be a mass of horny, out of control men groping as they saw fit. 

"This is the last chance, there is no turning back. Your eyes are about to opened to a world that once they are opened...they can never be closed again," Gavin warned her with a tilt of his head towards the house. 

"Green," she whispered. "I am safe with you. You are my protector. My Dom. My owner. My master, and most importantly...my teacher." 

"So eager, Little One," Gavin smiled tucking her hand into the crook of his arm and leading her up the stairs to the massive home. 

The door opened when they reached the top step and a man in tuxedo nodded to them as they entered. 

A stiff haired butler came to them as soon as they were inside. It appeared he was straight out of the Downton Abbey show she enjoyed so much. 

"Good evening Dr. Steward!" the man greeted warmly. 

"Good evening, Charles," Gavin smiled. 

"Miss," Charles bowed. 

"Charles," Alex bowed back, she glanced to Gavin to see if that was the right way to speak to the man. He read her and nodded. 

"Madelyn complaining that I'm late again?" Gavin teased with the man. 

"She might have mentioned it once or twice!" Charles nodded as he took Alex's wrap from her shoulders. 

"Where is the evil bitch?" Gavin joked loudly so that those in the foyer could hear. It caused them to snicker. 

"Right here!" the older woman groused from the staircase, just as loudly for all to hear the playful banter. 

"Good evening, you evil bitch," Gavin laughed. The group laughed heartily at the loving exchange. Alex clamped her teeth together to keep from laughing. It was obvious to her that these two adored one another. 

"If you weren't so wonderful, I would have you shackled and in my dungeon!" she warned as she came to them eyeing Alex the entire way. 

"What have we here?" Madelyn asked drinking Alex in much the same way Gavin did in the hotel room. 

"This is Alexandria," Gavin smiled taking her hand and lifting it and then spinning Alex slowly so Madelyn could look her over completely. 

"Absolutely breathtaking!" Madelyn gushed. "Violating one of your absolutes?" 

"Temporarily," Gavin nodded. "As you can see, Alexandria can make absolutes fall by the wayside rather easily." 

"Oh, Yes," the elder woman gushed. "And where is the other stunning woman you have?" 

"California," Gavin said with an angered exhale. 

"Well," Madelyn smiled still looking at Alex like a luxurious meal to be eaten, noting the anger and knowing it should be defused as quickly as possible. "You have still brightened this entire party with your current sub." 

"She is a pet," Gavin corrected quickly. 

"You are not taking her on as your bottom?" Madelyn asked shocked. She noted that the stunning specimen was exactly Gavin's type. 

"I'm monogamous, you know that," Gavin told her. "Alexandria is new to the life, she hasn't fully decided on what she wants as a member of the life." 

"For this?" Madelyn said reaching to her but stopping just short of touching her. "May I?" Gavin nodded after judging Alex's reaction. The woman traced her finger around Alex's face causing her to warm under her touch. 

Alex thought it odd that she found the way she was being treated as a compliment but where most would find it belittling. Talking about her like she wasn't there when she was. Like she was some sort of possession. A car or a fine piece of jewelry. 

Alex let her secret smile come out as she thought this. She was a possession. She was Gavin's possession. She looked up to the woman before her and realized she was reading her. She lowered her eyes quickly remembering that she wasn't to look a Dom in the eye. 

This woman screamed she was a Dom with her every move. The way people looked to her and treated her. But more importantly the way Gavin looked on her with a hope of her matronly approval. Like he was bringing a girlfriend home to meet his mother.  

"For this, I would have no absolutes other than the pleasuring of this delicious creature!" Madelyn gushed. Alex lowered her eyes and looked to Gavin who looked on with pride. 

"Gavin," a group of men called out and he turned and nodded to them. 

"It appears you are being summoned," Madelyn laughed with a roll of her eyes for Alex's benefit who Madelyn noticed was looking at them through her eyelashes while her head was down. "I'm sure they need some sort of erectile dysfunction advice!" she teased the older men summoning him, causing Alex to giggle before putting her hand over her mouth. 

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered. 

"She speaks?" Madelyn teased. "And it makes me wet!" Alex looked to Gavin who watched her reaction carefully. 

"Are your rules in place for your pet the same for your subs?" Madelyn asked in jest. 

"Of course," Gavin scoffed knowing she knew better. He sized up Alex's reaction and could tell by her quickened breath she was excited to have both Gavin and Madelyn gushing over her. "But judging by Alexandria's reactions she seems intrigued by you...perhaps something can be arranged." 

"You big tease!" Madelyn slapped at him. "I know there is no way in hell you are going to share this lovely pet!" 

"Think so?" Gavin asked never taking his eyes off Alex as her breathing increased with the idea that Gavin was possibly offering Alex as a treat to the woman in front of them. "She seems willing." 

"Gavin, stop it!" Madelyn ordered. "I'm an old woman with an old heart! If I were to sample such beauty, it would kill me for certain!" 

"I have had the same thought," Gavin agreed with a smile. "But what a fantastic way to go!" 

"Agreed!" Madelyn laughed. "Seeing how you are about to be vulture fodder, perhaps I could at least have the honor of showing her around? To save her from their leers!" 

"I think she would love that!" Gavin smiled. "Alexandria?" 

"I am yours to command," Alex said softly. "Whatever pleases you would please me immensely!" 

"Oh my!" Madelyn gushed. "Like the angels themselves! And I know you said she hadn't decided, but I have had my sub for the better part of five years and she has never said that to me!" 

"I'm right here," Gavin told her in her ear. "I trust Madelyn with my life, she will allow no one to harm you either. You are protected at all times, whether I'm by your side or not! Enjoy." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex whispered as his lips kissed her. 

Madelyn took her hand and guided Alex away. Alex looked over her shoulder at him and he winked. Her secret smile came out. Gavin moved to the men that had summoned him. 

"New to the life?" Madelyn asked her. 

"Yes...," Alex stuck on what to call her. She didn't dare call this woman 'Sir' as she does Gavin. 

"Mistress," Madelyn said without being asked. Alex shook her head slightly as she forgot, Doms read the people around them easily. 

"Yes, Mistress," Alex said softly. 

"Well," Madelyn smiled at her. "You couldn't have picked a better Dom!" 

"No?" Alex smiled proudly. 

Madelyn stopped and turned her around to face the filled room. 

"See all the Doms in here?" Madelyn asked her. Alex nodded as she scanned the room. 

The Doms were easy to spot, they had no collars. They were well dressed, and had an air of aristocracy to them. She felt as if she was transported in time to an age of royalty. Lords and Ladies. Barons and Baronesses. Some had collared subs nearby. Some with leashes attached to their collars as well, as their Dom or Mistress held the other end. 

There were others in the room as well. There were nearly naked women and men wandering intertwined with the collared subs. There were some subs who were dressed as she was, some with less on, and the collar around their neck varied. Some were made of thick, stiff leather. Some of chain, like a dog's collar. Alex felt hers. It was soft and gentle. Another way Gavin spoiled. He could have chosen a different collar, but even his marking of her as taken was caring. 

The Doms themselves had a different look. The walked more confidently, they looked more superior. The subs were never far from their masters. Then there were the others, she didn't know what they were called and she would have to ask Gavin. She would add it to the litany of questions to ask him. 

"Gavin is the best of the best among them, he is the best I've ever heard about. He is, quite simply, the best!" Madelyn explained with a no doubt shrug of her shoulders. "As you go about with your Master tonight, watch the reaction of the other bottoms in the room. They all eye him. They all desire him. His abilities are well known!" Alex smiled and blushed. 

"I take it by the look on your face and the fact the heat from your body just doubled you know it well yourself," Madelyn teased. 

"Not well, but I was with him for the first time last night, Mistress," Alex told her. 

"Well, knowing Gavin's absolutes, I'm guessing you haven't had the pleasure of his cock?" the Mistress asked her. Alex shook her head disappointedly. 

"Well, Gavin is more talented with his hands than most Doms are with everything they possess," she said looking at Alex. "What was your number last night?" Alex furrowed her brow. "Hmm, hesitation?" 

"No, Mistress," Alex said softly, the panic evident. "I just don't have instruction on what to say and what to not say." 

"Your number then," this was a statement. Not a question. One that told Alex to speak the truth and withhold nothing. 

"Fourteen total," Alex answered softly. 

"Fourteen?" Madelyn asked. "And how did that make you feel?" 

"I still feel him as we speak," Alex said immediately, with her secret smile. "My entire body! My complete mind. My soul." 

"That's Gavin!" Madelyn laughed. "That number will quadruple in the near future...he was part of a show here one night...57 is what I witnessed that night." 

Alex looked to her with a dropped jaw. 

"He stopped when the girl passed out from exhaustion," Madelyn smiled. "The girl couldn't walk properly for two days." 

"Holy shit," Alex gasped. "I'm sorry." 

"That was the general consensus, that night, 'holy shit'," Madelyn laughed gently hugging her. "Since that night, his legend has been whispered amongst subs. You will not be liked among them. He is a much wanted man. I must warn you, they can get pretty catty when they want to!" 

"Yes, Mistress," Alex smiled. "Thank you for the warning." 

"I see a question in your eyes?" Madelyn asked her. 

"You said 'show'?" 

"Yes, there will be entertainment tonight, various shows of sexual perversion for the entertainment of all," Madelyn smiled at her naiveté. 

"Who takes part?" Alex asked her. 

"Whoever wants to," Madelyn shrugged. "No, Gavin doesn't take part." She answered Alex's question before it was fully in her mind to ask. 

"But he did once?" Alex asked about the story she was just told. 

"It was early in his choice, he hadn't decided on a sub," Madelyn explained. "Since he has taken a sub, he does not entertain...much to the disappointment of all!" 

Madelyn walked her around the party introducing her to various people. Most of them high ranking business execs. Some Federal Judges. Congressmen. All of which surprised her. None of them were what she originally had pictured. She pictured old men who were perverts and screamed danger. None of these men and women seemed that way. She actually thought of an aristocratic feel to them. People of power for sure. Maybe not noble but men and women who were used to getting what they wanted. All of them looked upon her with a desire that was palpable. Some of their looks were flattering, some were uncomfortable. 

When the looks would get uncomfortable she let her eyes drift to Gavin. He would smile at her when she looked. She could tell he was protecting her from afar. Watching her for any sign of distress. But there was no need. As soon as Madelyn introduced her as "Gavin's Pet" all would nod and their look changed. It went from a look of lust, to one of respect as soon as his name was mentioned. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 04



"Well my beautiful young pet," Madelyn smiled at her. "I must go and get the entertainment started. Fear not, you are safe here. All know who you are and who you belong to. Walk fearlessly as you are protected. By Gavin for sure. But none dare to violate absolutes in my house!" 

"Thank you Mistress for your time, and your guidance," Alex bowed her head. "If there is ever a need I can fulfill, I am more than willing to satisfy that need, as it would please Gavin, for me to do so. And his pleasure is my only desire." 

"Oh my! So eager!" Madelyn gushed. "You are going to please Gavin greatly. I dare say, more so than the beautiful Elizabeth and I thought that impossible!" 

"Mistress," Alex bowed. Madelyn shook her head and made her way from Alex with a deep pleasured sigh. That's right, Alex laughed to herself conceitedly. I made her sigh that way! 

"One last thing my lovely," Madelyn smiled turning to her, to lust after Alex one more time. "Remember what I said about the other kittens in here. They have claws!" 

Alex was confused at first. Then she remembered the other subs wanted Gavin and she was a marked woman because of it. 

At the bar, the bartender licked his lips as he poured her a drink of champagne. She disregarded him immediately as unworthy. He was not a Dom. He was hired help and unworthy of her. Where did that come from she asked herself? She went from looking for any many that would have her, to a worthy man? Had her outlook on herself changed? Maybe it had. She did feel more empowered. Confident. Submission was exactly what Gavin had told her. It was empowering! 

When she turned a tall red head stood next to her. Her broad leather collar with steel anchor rings proclaimed loudly that she was taken. That she was only temporarily off her leash. 

"Good evening, Alexandria," the red head smiled a false smile the way she snarled her name telling Alex it was not going to be a pleasant conversation. 

"Good evening," Alex smiled back. Her smile was one of "too bad, so sad". She knew the kitten had come over to dig her claws in. 

"No Elizabeth?" the red head asked sharply. 

"No Elizabeth," Alex said, with her continuing smile as she realized the red headed kitty was getting pretty perturbed by her smile. "I am Gavin's pleasure tonight." 

"Something tells me he will find you lacking!" she sneered. 

"I know for a fact, I'm all he will ever need," Alex boasted confidently. "There is no desire. No command. No matter how dark, or how perverse that I won't satisfy for him." 

"You little bitch," the red head barked. 

"Good bye kitty cat," Alex said to her sigh and with a wave of her fingers. "You are not worthy." 

"Candy?" An older man called out to her. 

"Candy?" Alex laughed with her fingers covering her lips. "Sounds like you are one or two steps from a pole in the middle of a stage with the dregs of society tossing dollar bills at you!" 

Candy turned with a huff and a growl that caused Alex to giggle inside. Once Candy had left her, Alex downed her glass of champagne in one tilt to calm her nerves. The claws were out in force Alex decided. She knew nothing would happen to her, she was protected, but still her heart pounded in her chest. 

"Are you ok?" Gavin's voice caused her to smile. Gavin to the rescue. 

"Of course," she smiled as he put his hands on her. "Your hands are on me." 

"Candy a problem?" Gavin smiled as he brought his body against hers. His lips to her ear causing her to shiver uncontrollably with exploding desire. 

"None," Alex said confidently as she wrapped her arms around him as he stood behind her. Her hands moving from his hips to his inseam. She felt him respond to her touch. 

"I like the effect I have on you," Alex whispered as he nibbled gently on her neck. 

"I like the way you breathe. Like you are only breathing for me," Gavin said to her neck. 

"I never breathed a breath of any importance until you. Not even the first I had at birth compares to the ones I have when I can breathe in your scent!" Alex whispered. 

"Come," Gavin said to her. 

"Wherever you want me to, with whatever you are willing to make me cum with," Alex smiled. "As long as I can reciprocate the favor!" Gavin giggled at her innuendo. "Sir." 

"I meant to the play room," Gavin snickered. 

"Oh, my misunderstanding!" Alex laughed facetiously. She turned and he kissed her. Like a man saying hello and goodbye all at once. Like a man saying I love you and I hate you. Like he was dying and starting to live. When he pulled his lips from her she had stopped breathing. 

"Don't stop breathing on my account," Gavin said rubbing his thumb across her nipples in the dress making them react. 

"Don't stop touching me...ever, Sir," Alex said nipping at his thumb as Gavin drug it gently across her lips. 

"God damn," he sighed as Alex worked her hand into his pants and took hold of his hot shaft with her bare hand. "I could say the same about you right now." Gavin said as he put his forehead to hers. She stroked him softly, boldly there at the bar. 

"Shall I please you with my mouth, my hand, my pussy or my ass, Sir?" Alex asked him. 

"Yes," Gavin smiled. 

"As you wish, Sir," Alex whispered her voice strained with her passion and desire. 

Gavin pulled her hand out slowly. At first she tightened her grip showing she was not done. Gavin lifted his eyebrows at her. 

"Reluctantly," she smiled. "But as you wish." 

"So eager!" Gavin laughed as he escorted her from the room. 

Walking down a hall, the herd of people turned into another large room. This had a wide space in the middle, with chairs encircling it. There were various mechanisms and tables at the far end. In the middle of the room was a large "X" shaped rack. Steel shackles hung from the ends. Alex scanned and saw Candy. To anger the red head she winked at her. Candy's eyes tightened on her. 

Gavin walked to a chair and sat. Next to the chair was a soft silk pillow. Alex looked around and saw several subs already kneeling on the pillows so she followed suit and knelt next to Gavin's chair. 

"Are you ready for this?" Gavin asked her as she laid her head on his thigh. He gently hesitated as she did this but then began stroking her hair softly. 

"You hesitate to touch me?" Alex asked as she noticed. 

"I've never had anyone put their head in my lap in such a fashion at a party," Gavin admitted. 

"Does it not please you?" Alex asked him starting to lift her head. He wrapped his fingers in her hair to keep her from doing so. 

"It pleases me beyond mere words," Gavin whispered to her. 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex smiled kissing his leg just under her lips. "I am ready for you. The rest is just filling the time until you make me completely your own. I await your mark of ownership." 

"Fucking killing me," he hissed with a shake of his head. 

"Not fucking me, is killing me," Alex twisted. "Sir." 

"Oh Little One, the things I am going to do to you!" Gavin growled. 

"As you wish," Alex grinned victoriously. "Sir." 

Show #1 

A woman was brought in, she had no collar and was completely naked. A man in a Mardi Gras mask appeared and took her to the rack in the middle of the room. Alex watched the girl carefully. She seemed only a trifle concerned as the man in the mask shackled her in. Alex could tell it wasn't concern for her safety. More of a concern of what was to come. The look of the unknown. 

The Mask moved to the end of the room where on the tables there were various toys to be used throughout the night. Canes, whips and floggers of all sizes and materials. Clamps and dildos of all shapes and sizes. Bondage rope and other tools that Alex had never seen before so she had no idea what they were. 

"Feel free to ask questions, Little One," Gavin said. 

"The woman in the middle has no collar. Is she owned?" Alex whispered. This was one of the women she saw hovering around the edges of the party with next to no clothes on. 

"No," Gavin told her. "She is what we call a 'Party Favor'." 

"Party Favor?" Alex repeated. 

"One for all to enjoy," Gavin explained as he ran his fingers gently through her hair. He also let his fingers drift down her neck and tracing her spine causing her to shiver uncontrollably from time to time. 

"So anyone can touch her?" Alex asked in between shivers. 

"Anyone can do anything to a Party Favor," Gavin smiled as he watched her body react to his touch. "They are only here for that purpose, again, that is their choice." 

"Are all the entertainers Party Favors?" Alex asked. 

"No," Gavin said watching the man choose a toy to use on the bound woman. "Sometimes a sub will be used by her Dom in the middle. Sometimes a sub will be punished in the middle for all to enjoy. Sometimes a sub will get fucked in the middle." 

"By their Dom?" 

"Or whoever the Dom chooses," Gavin whispered as the masked man took clamps and clipped them to the woman's nipples. Alex's body tightened. 

"I take the fact your body just tightened that, that is a no?" Gavin teased. 

"That is a yellow," Alex admitted after some thought. 

"A yellow?" Gavin asked. 

"I will try all that you desire before deciding an absolute," Alex whispered as she watched the man tug on the chain connecting the clamps on the woman's nipples causing her to whimper. 

The man slapped the woman suddenly across her breast, causing Alex to jump at the crack of the sound of skin upon skin. 

"She whimpered," Gavin explained reading the question before Alex could say it. "This is about pushing her to her limits before she breaks in pain. Evidently he thought she whimpered before she should have." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex whispered. 

The man circled the woman slowly. He pulled what appeared to be a red ball attached to a leather rope on both ends out and forced it into her mouth. Alex recognized it from pictures she had seen. A ball gag. Evidently she was being helped into silence. 

The man took a length of leather strap off the table and slipped it behind the woman's neck. He pushed the end through a buckle on the other end and slowly closed the gap around her neck. Inch by inch he went carefully watching the woman's face. Staring into her eyes as her face blued as he tightened the leather strap around her neck. 

Alex was stunned that the woman lasted as long as she did with a blue face from lack of oxygen. Suddenly the man released the noose and the woman sucked in air around the ball causing a slurping sound to be audible. 

Slowly the man began to tighten the noose again after the woman gathered a few breaths in around the ball gag in her mouth. Her face reddened, then blued again as her oxygen supply was cut off. 

This time the man pulled on the chain on her nipples and her eyes rolled back in her head but she made no sound. He released the noose and she sucked in breaths around the ball. A line of saliva leaked out around the ball and dribbled down to her breasts as they heaved under her struggling body. 

The man moved back to the table and ran his fingers over the various toys at his disposal as he thought about what to do next. He picked up a wand massager. Alex had seen one before, but never had the guts to ask or try one. Now she would see it in action. Gavin who was studying Alex more so than the show made a mental note of her response. 

The soft hum of the toy could be heard from where she sat. The man ran it over her body slowly before settling it against her pussy. The woman's eyes rolled back into her head where all you could see were the whites. 

"Cum for me you little whore!" The man barked for his first words. The woman nodded as he pressed the vibrating toy tighter and tighter into her sex. He then took his free hand and began to tighten the noose slowly causing the woman to redden. He didn't cinch it as tight at first as he worked her pussy over. Her hands pulled on the restraints as her body stiffened in the obvious early beginnings of her orgasm. 

Alex watched her muscles tighten under the skin as her orgasm built. Every so often the man would tighten the noose. Now her face was bluing slowly. Then her orgasm hit and she bucked against the restraints both hand and foot as the noose was held tight. She bucked in the throes of orgasm for a few seconds, when she was still the man released the noose letting her suck in air. 

There were soft thumping of Dom's hands on the arm rests of their chairs in applause at her orgasm. Alex shifted slightly as her own sex began to dampen at the display. Her orgasms from the night before came back to her as she watched the woman's body go through one. Would this woman squirt the way she did under Gavin's manipulations? Or was that only Gavin? He had both her and Elizabeth gushing. 

The man continued his manipulations with the wand. Three orgasms later the woman was hanging by her wrists as her legs were useless to her. After each orgasm, the Doms applauded by tapping their hand on the arm rests. 

After thirty minutes the ball gag was removed and the woman was released. Alex saw the woman's sweat matted hair and the look of exhausted pleasure on her face. Alex knew that look. Thirteen times over. The after look of intense orgasms. 

"Well, Little One?" Gavin asked as the woman left the middle to the applause of the room 

"Whatever you desire," Alex replied looking back at him. "Sir." He nodded with his secret smile. 

Show #2 

The wooden "X" was removed quickly and replaced with a padded mattress on the floor that resembled a pet bed only larger. A man walked towards it, this man had a black leather mask similar to the ones wrestlers wore on T.V. Only this one had a large, silver zipper on the front. He knelt on the mat and a woman in leather corset and boots came in to the applause of the other Doms. The man kneeling was collared so he was owned. This must be his owner. 

This was a turn of the tables for Alex. She had only witnessed on the web, men dominating women. This was a man being dominated by a woman. She looked at the man and wondered, under that mask, is that the leader of a Fortune 500 company? 

"Question, Little one?" 

"I wonder if the man is some powerful exec," Alex asked softly looking back at him again. 

"He is a very good Federal Judge," Gavin laughed. "Some say a possible Supreme Court Justice one day." Alex shook her head in disbelief and laughed with him. 

As his Mistress stood next to the future Supreme Court Justice, he slowly lowered his lips to her boots and began running his tongue up the edge of her thigh high boot but stopping before touching her skin. Starting at the toe and working up the leather until he reached the very top. He stopped when he got there. 

"Good boy," the woman smiled down at him. She moved to the table. "Does my good boy need a spanking?" she asked picking up a paddle. She looked over her shoulder at him and he nodded. Alex shifted as her body reacted. 

"Easy, Little One," Gavin whispered. "I already know you like this!" 

"Yes, Sir," Alex whispered as the Mistress brought the paddle to the middle. The sub lowered himself down leaving only his ass in the air. 

"Count them out," the Mistress instructed. This brought back Elizabeth's punishment. Alex shifted and Gavin giggled. 

The first crack of the paddle filled the room and Alex jumped. 

"One." 

Crack. 

"Two." 

Crack. 

"Three." 

Crack. 

"Four!" 

The Mistress stopped and ran her hand over his bare bottom in the chaps he was wearing. She moved to the other side of him. 

"Ask," Gavin encouraged when she looked back at him. 

"I wonder, what is he being punished for?" Alex asked him. 

"Maybe nothing," Gavin shrugged. "Some in this lifestyle enjoy being spanked. Again, if it is desired it can be and should be done. My guess is he likes it. She didn't say she was punishing him. Sometimes a spanking is done for punishment, as I did Elizabeth. Sometimes, the sub wants spanked because they enjoy it. I'm guessing he likes it. She told him he was a good boy." 

Holy shit! Alex thought to herself. A spanking because you enjoyed it? This had her thinking to her two swats earlier this morning. It had her wet. Was she one to enjoy it? 

"What happens for punishment if they like being spanked?" Alex asked as she turned back to watch the show. 

"The Dom comes up with something that will correct them," Gavin said confidently. Like a man who had come up with multiple solutions to that very problem. 

Crack 

"Five." 

Crack. 

"Six." 

The Mistress didn't stop until she hit thirty one, changing sides every so often. By that time the man's voice was tear filled from the pain radiating outward from his ass up. 

Alex looked back at Gavin and had a hunger in her eyes that even an average Joe would be able to discern! 

"Soon," Gavin smiled. She nodded and laid her head back down on his leg but began to nibble gently through the silky feel of his suit pants. Gavin leaned over and ran his fingers down her bare back tracing the spine all the way down until his fingers found the crack of her ass through the thin material of her dress. He slipped up underneath and pushed a finger into her gentle heat and the sound of her wetness filled both their ears. 

Gavin gently fingered her there as she knelt next to him. Her teeth digging deeper and deeper into his leg as he brought her orgasm to the surface only to stop leaving her whimpering for release. 

"No," Gavin told her questioning eyes. "I'm the only one who gets to witness your true beauty. The beauty of your orgasm!" 

"Yes, Sir," she said. But her voice was strained with her closeness of orgasm. Gavin brought his finger to her mouth and she sucked it in without instruction much like Elizabeth had done. Gavin brought his lips to hers and they shared her taste with their tongues. 

He seemed so in control. So calm. The only thing that gave him away was the raging storm in his eyes and the bulge in his pants. She wanted to take him in her mouth. To attempt to do what Beth had done so expertly. She may not succeed but it wouldn't be for the lack of trying! 

After Gavin sat back, Alex returned her head to his leg and looked at Candy who stared at her with an unhealthy hatred that was felt from across the room. Alex let her secret smile come out and then returned to the show. 

Now the Mistress had put on a strap on dildo and was pulling on it to make sure it was secure. 

"You are such a good boy!" the Mistress cooed. "Remove this so I can show you what a good little boy you are!" 

The sub fumbled with his fingers on the belt and button of his chaps as he tried to obey quickly. He ripped them down, excitedly, like a teen boy about to pop his cherry. He then waited with a smiling anticipation. 

The Mistress moved up behind him and squirted lube down the crack of his ass as he pulled his cheeks apart for her. 

"Such a nasty, nasty good boy!" she cooed as she positioned her phallus at his anus. "How nasty do you want it my good boy?" 

"Nasty!" he answered causing some of the Doms to giggle. 

"Good boy!" she cooed. 

She then drove the large phallus deep into him with one thrust. It was strong and he squealed when she hit bottom. His bottom. 

"I thought I had a little boy here? That sounded an awful lot like a little piggy!" she said to him as she began to piston in and out of his ass. 

"Yes Mistress," he grunted out. 

"Squeal then piggy!" she demanded. 

The sub beneath her did just that. He squealed and hissed as she thrust. Alex was mesmerized by what she saw there. Here was a Federal Judge, a possible Supreme Court Justice, channeling his inner Ned Beatty reenacting a scene from the movie Deliverance. Snorting and squealing with every thrust of his Mistress' hips. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 04



"Do you want to cum little piggy?" the Mistress asked. 

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" he squealed out. 

"Do you think you deserve it?" she asked with a smile. 

"No. No. No!" he answered on the thrusts. 

"Please. Please. Please!" he begged on the thrusts. 

"I like the way you beg little boy!" the Mistress smiled as she reached around and took his cock in her hand. 

She began to stroke him in time with her thrusts. He went back to squealing and grunting as she did. Suddenly his body began to buck and Alex watched the man spew on the floor as she buried her strap on deep within his bowels. Her hand pumping furiously as he shot his seed on the mat beneath them. 

She pulled out of his ass with a pop of the strap on. 

"Look at the mess you made!" she chastised. "Clean it up!" 

The sub instantly turned on his cum spot and began to lick it up on command. Alex raised her eyebrows and her head. She turned to Gavin slowly in disbelief. He shrugged slightly with a twisted grin at her expression. 

"You don't seem to mind eating yours off my fingers," he pointed out. 

"I have never seen that before!" Alex marveled quietly. Gavin laughed. 

"I'm sure," Gavin nodded. "I warned you." 

"Yes, Sir. You most certainly did!" 

Show #3 

Alex put her head back down and began to run her hand up and down Gavin's inner thigh. A woman was brought in, as a table with a mattress pad was brought into the middle of the room. This woman had no collar. A Party Favor. 

She sat on the pad and waited. Madelyn appeared and stroked her cheek. 

"Any takers?" Madelyn asked the group. "I need at least five." 

The first two men were Doms who left their subs sitting at the edge of the circle. The Party Favor tapped her feet in glee as she hopped off the table and went to her knees as the men walking towards her dropped their clothes off on the floor. The Party Favor looked briefly to Gavin and Alex could see the disappointment that he wasn't getting up. 

As soon as the Doms were close enough her hand was on both of them taking their cocks in her hand and then stuffing them in her mouth. Sucking on each one greedily in turn. Soon they were hard as she ravaged them with her mouth. 

One man wound his fist into her hair and forced her tighter and harder on his cock as the sound of her gags could be heard in the room. She moved to all fours at the direction of the other Dom and she presented herself to them. The man began thrusting his hips into her mouth, driving his cock into her throat. Whether she wanted it or not! 

The other Dom pressed his cock into her pussy and it slid in easily. He began to pull on her hips as he drove forward causing her to gag more on the cock in her mouth. They began to thrust on both ends, filling her two holes with their meat and she hungrily took both. Driving herself backward to meet the Dom's thrusts from behind. The man in her mouth pulled on her hair as she thrashed her head on his cock. 

The Dom in her mouth pulled her head tight to his crotch and let his head fall back as he gave a guttural growl as he came in her mouth to the applause of those around the scene. He pulled his now softening cock from her mouth and wiped it on her tongue before standing up. 

The man behind her pulled out and she spun to catch his cum in her mouth and swallowed it greedily. By now four other men were standing around her with their cocks out gently stroking themselves as the second Dom shot his cum in her accepting mouth. 

When he moved to the side a man laid on his back and pulled her on top of him and she reached under her and pushed his cock into her sloppy pussy. Alex began to bite into Gavin's thigh again in her own excitement she began to grind her thighs together to rub her pussy with them. Gavin watched her writhe in her frustration. 

Another man filled the Party Favor's mouth with his cock and she slurped on it hungrily as the man under her thrust upward. Another man came in behind her and spread her ass cheeks. Alex's jaw dropped. While she had seen this show in porn with her exes. Live was a whole different creature! The sounds, the smells that Gavin warned her about. The mixing of sweat, perfume, cologne and sex filled her nostrils. He described it as a bombardment. It was accurate. It all swirled around her and she felt like she was getting drunk on it. 

She watched the woman wince as the cock was pressed into her ass. Once the man was fully in, the three men developed a rhythm as they used and pounded the body of the woman. Another man came up on the other side of her and she began to take turns sucking them off alternately. First one devoured, then the other. All while two other men invaded her body through her other two orifices. 

Alex ground her face into Gavin's leg, by now her nibbling had left a wet spot on Gavin's expensive suit pants but she was completely unaware she was doing it. Her grinding on the pillow increased and she looked around and she wasn't the only one. 

Her eyes scanned the circle, she found one sub sucking on her Dom while he watched the show. Her head bobbing up and down in his lap as she knelt between his knees. Another sub had her Dom's cock out and was stoking it off with her hand. She saw it in time to watch him cum all over her breasts. 

A Mistress was pulling on the leash of her pet as she wrapped her legs around his head both pulling him deeper into her as she bucked her orgasm over his mouth. 

Alex looked back to the show to find one man fisting his cum into her eager mouth. The third of the night. Shortly after he moved away the man in her ass pulled out and made his way to her face and squeezed his load into her waiting mouth. 

The man who was sharing her mouth moved to her ass and replaced the one that just left. Fucking her wildly. The man beneath her pulled his cock from her pussy and shimmied up and she buried his cum covered cock from her pussy into her throat as he filled her mouth for the fifth time. 

The man from her ass followed suit as she waited patiently as he was careful to get his whole load in her mouth. 

She licked her lips exhaustedly after he moved away. Using her finger to make sure any cum that landed on her face was pushed in. 

There was a round of applause as she sat there, her fingers massaging her clit as she sucked the cum into her mouth. Bringing herself to orgasm as she swallowed the final load to an appreciative crowd. 

Show #5 

"Horse Cock, Horse Cock, Horse Cock!" the crowd began to chant as a man with broad and defined muscles walked into the center with his body glistening in the lights. Alex stifled a laugh as he had a mascot head of a horse on hiding his identity. 

She looked back to Gavin who shrugged knowingly at her. He then reached out and forcibly turned her head back around. Alex's smile left her as her jaw slowly dropped open as the man dropped his loin cloth...



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 05



Chapter 8* 

Alex couldn't believe it and she was looking right at it. The man's cock hung to nearly his knees. It wasn't overly wide, but the length was breathtaking. Now she knew where he got his name. It rang out in the room in a chant. 

"Holy shit," Alex gasped. 

"Interested?" Gavin teased marveling in her reaction. 

"Only if it pleases you," Alex said, but the tone in her voice said this was a definite red. 

"It wouldn't," Gavin assured her. "You are mine, I don't share." 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex said engrossed in the man parading around. He looked almost comical, the horse head was ridiculous she decided. His cock was so large it looked fake. She just couldn't imagine anyone having anything like that. It looked like a policeman's night stick. 

A woman came and laid on the table. Alex looked back at Gavin who smiled his smile. 

"I warned you," he whispered. "We have it all in our world. Horse Cock is a party favor, he obeys commands." 

"There is no way she can handle that!" Alex whispered. 

"Watch," Gavin nodded toward the center. 

Alex turned as the man aptly named Horse Cock moved to the woman. Alex watched her eyes at first and saw a mixture of desire and fear, she had some trepidation. It was obvious she wanted to try and take the cock, but was unsure if she could. 

"Easy?" Horse Cock called out to the crowd playing to them like a gladiator in old Rome. "Or harshly?" 

"Harshly!" the crowd called out and Alex saw the woman close her eyes in fear. 

"As you wish!" Horse Cock said from behind the mask, Alex could hear the pleasure that dripped from the unknown man's voice. He lifted his cock up and it appeared to take some doing. He used it to smack the woman on her sex causing her to flinch. The sound of the skin on skin could be heard from Alex's position. 

She looked back to Gavin and the concern filled her eyes. Not for herself but for the woman. Gavin pulled her into his lap and she felt him under her bottom but she liked the position she was now in. The feel of him so close to her sex. 

"Make no mistake," Gavin whispered in her ear. "She was made aware of what could happen. Nobody is forced to do anything with Horse Cock, the subs get to choose if they want to be with him, no Dom can force their sub to participate with him. That is one of Madelyn's absolutes. This one feels she can handle it. We see that from time to time. Some rise to the challenge. Pressure." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex whispered back as she was mesmerized by the scene in front of her. "If you wish me to try...," 

"Alexandria," Gavin laughed. "Any sub who takes on Horse Cock is usually discarded. How can any Dom compete with that?" 

"It takes more than a cock to satisfy," Alex said turning her face to Gavin. "You satisfy! That's why every sub in this room hates me right now. I'm in your lap and I'm the one getting satisfied by your hands, your mouth, and soon...your cock." 

"You think the subs in this room hate you?" Gavin giggled. 

"I know they do," Alex nodded. "I know you don't care about the other subs in this room, but take a look around...see what is so obvious to me." 

Gavin looked and then came back to her. 

"They aren't worthy," Gavin said resolutely. 

"Neither am I," Alex said as firmly. 

"I judge you to be," Gavin said taking her chin and kissing her deeply. She sighed into his mouth. 

"I can feel the daggers in me right now without even looking," Alex whispered against his lips. 

They turned back to the show but Alex watched while she nibbled on Gavin's ear. 

Horse Cock took his cock and placed it at the entrance of her pussy lips. The woman's eyes went wide as she felt the head spread her open. She shook her head in a last minute plea for at least the first thrust to be gentle. 

"We have to do what we are told!" Horse Cock said sinisterly. He took hold of her hips as she gripped the table. Alex could see her body tense up and knew that was the worst decision. She had done that with the over-zealous ex and it only caused her more harm. 

With one powerful thrust the massive cock was buried into the woman who screamed in pain and surprise. The cock hit bottom in the woman but there was still a good foot outside of her. Alex shook her head and winced as she relived the pain of her first BDSM experience that wasn't. Horse Cock began a long, slow thrust as the woman barked in pain both entering and exiting. She didn't look like she was enjoying any part of it. 

Gavin watched Alex, she knew he was watching her, she could feel his stare, but she refused to pull her eyes. She knew Gavin would want her to witness it all, to have full understanding of the things in this world. Both good and bad. 

Alex looked to him after a few minutes of watching the massive cock plowing not so gracefully into the woman. The man had no ability, he was just an instrument. Like a dildo. No style other than one motion. She knew he could not be like Gavin. Gavin could make you cum in a thousand different ways. She wondered if Horse Cock had ever caused anyone any pleasure other than the sick bastards who were into this for the mere fact of seeing the woman in pain. 

The immenseness of his size would scare off most women. And those that were daring enough to try, like the woman on the table, soon would learn there was no way to handle it and enjoy it any more that a woman could enjoy a baseball bat being thrust in her. 

"What?" Gavin asked her after searching her eyes but not understanding the look. 

"He is useless," Alex told him. "I may not be sexually experienced but I know this, to have something that size in there, causing that type of pain...well there is only one thing that should be like that, and it better be something I have to take care of for eighteen years." 

This caused Gavin to bark out a laugh. 

"You are correct," Gavin nodded. He tilted his head at her in admiration. It also made him wonder. "Do you think children are something you want in the future?" 

"When it's time," Alex said looking back at the show after staring into his eyes. "When you are ready." She could feel him become motionless and breathless at her bold talk causing her to smirk in satisfaction. Yes, she told herself, I did that. I made the Jedi master breathless! 

"What makes you think I want children?" Gavin asked her. 

"The way you were holding your breath when I mentioned them," Alex said slowly turning her eyes back to him. "The way you are looking at me like I am the first one who has offered you what you truly desire!" 

"We've known each other less than two days," he pointed out. 

"I've made my decision on this whole life in that amount of time. I know what I want. That is to please you in every facet of your desires. If what you desire is a child, I would be deliriously happy to give that to you...for that would please you and therefore I would be immensely pleased knowing I was the first woman to please you not only in the way you wanted...but that you needed. I wouldn't be your first, but I know I can be your most fulfilling!" 

Gavin was about to say something when Charles appeared and tapped him softly on his shoulder. Gavin listened and the moment of pleasure he was having with her talk was gone. 

"I must leave you for a moment," Gavin told her softly. "It's an emergency." 

Madelyn appeared in the doorway and a look of anger could be felt as Alex stood, frowning that her delicious moment with Gavin was disturbed. 

"Shall I wait for you here?" Alex asked him stopping him. 

"If you wish," Gavin told her as he made his exit. She stood there watching Charles lead him from the room. He stopped only briefly to talk to Madelyn before disappearing after Charles. Madelyn came to her with a forced smile. 

"Not interested in Horse Cock I see," she said to Alex who watched the doorway like Gavin was coming right back. Madelyn liked the way Alex was looking for Gavin. It warmed her soul. 

"Once you have been pleasured by Gavin," Alex forced a smile turning her eyes to the Mistress. "You lose interest in all others." 

"I agree, I wish I had the pleasure," Madelyn smiled as she stroked Alex's hair softly to comfort her. "What troubles you?" 

"Gavin said he would show me everything," Alex said softly. "Why do I feel he is being my Dom right now and protecting me instead of showing all to me?" 

"Come with me," Madelyn said after some tumultuous thoughts. She knew Gavin. She knew Gavin better than all around him, including Elizabeth. She could see the way he looked at Alex was different than the way he looked at his other subs. The mere fact he violated his most absolute of absolutes, only one sub at a time, told her something in Alex intrigued him beyond the BDSM world. Mere sex would not be enough to cause Gavin to violate an absolute. And regardless of what everyone else believed, Elizabeth would not have the sway. It was something about Alexandria that forced his hand and she was dying to figure out what that was! 

Madelyn had introduced Gavin to the life in full force. It was her that escorted him around her party that first time. She wanted him to be a sub but soon learned Gavin could be nothing but a Dominant. 

They became close friends when her husband was dying of pancreatic cancer. Gavin became the son they never had, going with her to doctor's appointments. Sitting with her while her husband went through the surgeries. Held her hand at the funeral. Hours upon hours of love he doled on her when she needed it the most. 

Oh yes, she knew Gavin. Learned his nuances and his desires through the many hours they spent together. She knew Gavin like a mother knows her son. 

"No, I have no to wish to anger him," Alex frowned dropping her head and pursing her lips. "With all due respect Mistress." 

"No," Madelyn nodded. "He did promise you and you have a right to know all. To make an informed decision." She also knew Gavin needed a push every now and then. Especially in the things he truly needed. 

Madelyn led her upstairs arm in arm. Alex was leery on what Gavin would think of her coming to see what had pulled him away. Slowly opening the door Gavin's eyes went red with anger as soon as Alex entered on Madelyn's arm. The older woman patted Alex's hand gently when she tensed up. 

"She is only doing what she is told," Madelyn said immediately seeing the temper flare and drawing a little satisfaction of being right. If Gavin didn't care about Alex any more than a sub he wouldn't give a shit that she came up and saw this nightmare. "There will be no repercussions to her. You gave no command, and you promised to show her all. She needs to see the ugly side as well." 

"She is my sub," Gavin growled, doing the unthinkable and not paying his utmost attention to one of his patients. Madelyn shook her head at him as she recognized this. "I'll decide when and where and what to show her!" 

"You are in my house," Madelyn pointed out firmly trying to suppress the smile of satisfaction from her lips of being right. This had nothing to do with Alex being a sub. This had nothing to do with BDSM, this had to do with Alex and Alex alone. He wouldn't have flickered a wave of anger if Elizabeth walked in here even though he protects her as well. He was angry that Alex was being exposed to this. He wanted her to be with him, the sub ruse was just that. Time to push Gavin's boundaries some more. "My house, my rules and she is not your sub...yet. She is a pet. Remember? So either claim her properly or say nothing." 

Alex looked around and there was a man wrapped in a bath towel sitting in a chair sipping a glass of champagne. He looked bored. He was in his mid-twenties, with black hair and brown eyes. He was handsome but Alex sensed something she didn't like. She moved her eyes to Gavin who had returned to work on a girl face down on the mattress. She could still see the anger in his face and knew this argument was far from over. He just wanted to get back to his patient. 

"Charles, I need an I.V. drip brought up, I will give her the antidote to what's she been given," Gavin said gruffly. 

"Yes, Sir," Charles nodded and disappeared. 

By now a few other Dom's had come into the room and were watching as well. Gavin began to roll the unconscious girl over and Alex went to help him immediately. Gavin nodded at her when she looked to him for permission with her eyes. He smiled, not his normal smile, more a smile of apology. Softly they turned her. 

"What did you give her?" Gavin asked taking her pulse. 

"A cocktail," the man in the towel shrugged unconcerned as he looked the delicious Alex over. 

"Royce," Madelyn said sternly. "Now is not the time to be coy." 

"A mixture of Rohypnol, heroine, and LSD," the man shrugged starting at Alex's feet and working his way up stopping on her backside as she bent over to help roll the unconscious girl over. 

"Did you even think of what that combination would do to her?" Madelyn barked. 

"Gavin is here to save the day," Royce shrugged. "She wanted it that way." 

"She wanted to be almost killed?" a man asked from the side in disbelief. 

"We don't do snuff in my house you stupid bastard!" Madelyn barked knocking over the camera that was set up on a tripod to film the sexual tryst. 

"Gavin will save her," Royce frowned at the tone he was being talked to. "Now who is this pet?" 

"Take your eyes off my sub," Gavin warned without turning. His voice dripping with contempt. Alex reveled in it as did Madelyn who covered her lips with her hand with a fake cough. 

"I'm confused," Royce laughed. "Madelyn said she was your pet, thus she is un-owned." 

"She hasn't made a choice yet," Madelyn told him angrily studying Gavin's response. She had to be careful, if she was right, Gavin would protect Alex. Violently if necessary. Oh yes, this was going to work out better than she had hoped. There would be no way Gavin would even allow Royce to even whisper Alex's name if he cared about her. If she was just a sub, Gavin would say nothing. He would stay focused on the task at hand. But he didn't. 

"I'm Gavin's sub," Alex interrupted the impending argument. "If he will have me. My decision is made." 

"Well if he hasn't decided, it looks like I may be in the market..." Royce smiled. 

"Take your fucking eyes off my sub, or I'll be working on you next," Gavin warned as he inserted the I.V. into the young girl before turning and placing himself in between Royce and Alex. 

"Are you taking Alexandria on?" Madelyn asked looking at Alex who tried to control the smile she had. Madelyn gave her a wink and Alex knew exactly what Madelyn was doing. She didn't know whether to run and hug the woman or be afraid she was pushing him too hard. 

"I would be a fool not to," Gavin said looking at her as he touched her gently before moving to a needle and injecting a drug into the I.V. Alex nearly danced at the words. She was Gavin's sub! Now she knew she had to hug Madelyn before she left. To thank her for her help! 

Alex sat on the edge of the bed as the girl was back on her stomach while Gavin worked on wounds caused from the lashes given by Royce. He had abused her body with a flogger that brought blood. A dildo that caused her anus to bleed. She groggily came around but had problems breathing correctly. Alex patted her hand and stroked her hair while Madelyn and Royce argued. The other Doms were shaking their heads. 

"What's worse," Madelyn raged. "Is this isn't the first time you have put one of our girls in jeopardy!" 

"She's fine!" Royce laughed at what had Madelyn all fired up. Alex was doing everything she could to keep from going over and slapping the smug look off the jerk's face. If Gavin hadn't warned her with his eyes she would have. 

"I'm going to have to take her to the hospital," Gavin finally decided with a disappointed exhale. 

"What?" Both Royce and Madelyn barked in disbelief. 

"I think you may have fractured her trachea," Gavin said with an angry shake of his head. "I won't know for sure until I x-ray it." 

"C'mon Gavin!" Royce laughed. "She's fine, you just want to make trouble for me that's all!" 

"Make no mistake. There is nothing in this world I would love more to do than cause you and your father trouble," Gavin agreed. "Unfortunately that would put Madelyn in a bad spot. It may even put us all in a bad spot!" 

"Then she stays here," Royce commanded. 

"And if she dies?" one of the men asked looking on in disgust. 

"She knew that rough sex could lead to injury, all subs know that!" Royce shrugged. Gavin was on him in a flash with his fists wrapped in Royce's expensive silk shirt. The punch caused an explosion of blood from the mouth of the now cowering Royce. 

"If you think for one second I would put her life in danger to save your ass you have another thing coming! I will decide if we take her or not. Not some arrogant, snot nosed son of a whore like you!" 

By now the other Doms were pulling on Gavin and he released Royce who sneered at Gavin as he stood. 

"Royce," Madelyn's voice was firm and angry. "You are banished from my house. You are not to return until you receive an invitation!" 

"Madelyn," Royce chuckled as he straightened his shirt out. "You know you don't have that power." 

"Mother fucker," Madelyn gasped, the look of shock on her face caused her skin to pale then redden with sudden rage. "This is my house! I don't give a damn who your father is! Get out!" 

Royce chuckled and wiped his mouth off on his sleeve. 

"Gavin," Royce smiled as he licked the blood off his fingers. "This isn't over between you and me." 

"I hope not," Gavin growled, not even showing enough concern to turn to the man as he left, instead taking the girl's pulse again. 

Charles opened the door for Royce and smiled unpleasantly at him as he ushered him out. 

"Gavin! How dare you!" Madelyn said suddenly, turning once Royce was gone and the door closed. 

"I'm sorry," Gavin said with a shake of his head. 

"That's unacceptable!" Madelyn shouted. 

"What's unacceptable is the girl in the bed!" Gavin countered as he turned to square off with Madelyn, showing her the respect he wouldn't give Royce. 

"This is my house, my rules!" Madelyn said, calmer now, as she looked upon the girl. "You cannot lay a hand on a guest in my house!" 

Gavin said nothing, standing there looking to the floor. Alex wanted to go to him but the young girl was clutching her hand like her life depended on it. 

"Perhaps you deserve banishing yourself!" Madelyn gasped liked it pained her to even suggest it. It did. She never thought she would have to punish Gavin...her semi-adopted son. 

"Madelyn," Gavin shook his head. "It's inconsequential what you do to me...the girl in the bed should be our only concern." 

"Kelly," Alex whispered drawing all eyes to her. "Her name is Kelly." 

Madelyn dropped her head at the soft reprimand that went unsaid. They had been addressing the young girl without concern of her name. Like she was only a problem to be solved. 

"I'm sorry Alexandria," Madelyn said to her, the anger leaving her body. "Kelly will be taken care of. Gavin do what you think is necessary. Take care of Kelly like she should be." 

"Mike," Gavin said looking at the young girl. "I need to use the hospital x-ray to confirm or exclude the trachea. Is there any way we can get in there without raising flags?" 

"Yes," Mike nodded. "I'll make it happen." 

"Thanks," Gavin went to Alex and rubbed her shoulder. "Kelly, we are going to take you to the hospital for some x-rays...if I need to, I will admit you, but I will probably bring you back here." She smiled and blinked her eyes. Gavin's words were soft and reassuring and Alex marveled over his tenderness. She guessed that was what made him such a terrific doctor. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 05



"What cover story do we come up with if she has to be admitted?" A Dom asked. 

"Suicide attempt," A man off to the side suggested. "It would explain the fractured trachea, she tried to hang herself. I'll have a couple of my boys file a false report...she will get the help she needs, the rest will be covered. Gavin you will have to lie your ass off, and cover up the rest of that bullshit!" The man said alluding to the other injuries the woman had incurred at Royce's hands. 

Gavin nodded. They left Gavin and Alex in the room returning to the party. Madelyn stayed momentarily. 

"Gavin," she said softly, the tears falling from her eyes told Alex she was being crushed by what she was about to do. "You are censured for six months." Gavin looked over his shoulder at her. "I love you with all my heart and I agree with you...but I can't have Doms assaulting other Doms. Not in my house, at one of my parties." 

"He is not a Dom," Gavin corrected. "He's a piece of shit who cares for nothing but himself. That's the exact opposite of a Dom." 

"Which is why he will never set foot in my home again, but you were out of line. This was for me to resolve," she said walking out before she became a blubbering idiot on the floor. 

Alex sat in the visiting physician's office. Gavin's suit jacket wrapped around her shoulders. She thought of everything now that she had a moment of calm. A moment where her eyes weren't drinking in everything around her. She thought of the shows she had witnessed. All held some sort of excitement for her. Even Horse Cock, though she would never allow him to touch her. 

Even Royce made her smile. Not Royce himself but the way Gavin responded to Royce when he hinted at having an interest in Alex. Gavin took to him like a jealous boyfriend. A man fighting for a relationship. They had known each other only two days, but in that two days Alex's life had changed. For the better. She was now Gavin's sub. He said it there in the heat of the moment and she was happy about it. Now thinking of it she blew out a breath. She would give him an out. She didn't want him to feel forced to take her on out of protecting her. She would tell him. Gavin had been gone for nearly two hours when he reappeared. He handed her the keys to his car. 

"Go back to the Hotel," Gavin told her with a kiss to the temple. 

"I'd prefer to wait," Alex told him. 

"Alexandria," Gavin growled. "I'm not asking. I have to get her into surgery. I'll be here until mid-morning at best." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex bowed her head taking the keys from him. 

"Alexandria," Gavin stopped at the door. "If you aren't there when I get there...I'll understand." He left before she could say anything. He didn't look back either. He couldn't. 

Alex pulled the Aston Martin under the awning of the Drake Hotel as the rain came in a gentle washing of the city. It was calm now, unlike the bustle of the life that teemed from the corners of the city from last night. The Valet opened her door and she smiled at him as he helped her from the car. 

"Thank you," she said softly reaching into her pocketbook to tip him. 

"Thank you," the young man smiled a flirtatious smile and a wink. Alex shook her head at him. Unworthy. A few days ago, maybe. But after Gavin? After this night? After all that she had been awoken to? No chance. 

Dropping her room key to the stand next to the door she kicked off her high heels. She walked to the window as the tap of the rain hit it. She looked out, the sun was just starting to rise over the lake before her. It was the most spectacular sunrise she had ever seen and she had seen several. She wondered why this sunrise was so much better. Was it because she had a new perspective on life? A new life to learn? Was she finally doing something that made her senses tingle? Her body yearn? Her mind seek? 

The rain reached out to choke the sunrise from existence but it hadn't succeeded yet. The dawn was still there. As was the dawn of a new life. But the decision she had to make was the clouds, trying to choke it out. 

She laid her head against the glass. It all came back now. Now that she had a moment to breathe. The shows, Gavin's soft touch. Madelyn and her help to push Gavin towards her. Royce and his leers. Kelly. 

What happened to her was appalling. She remembered Gavin's warning that their life was like all others. There were both good and bad. Both extraordinary and horrific. She saw it all tonight. Could she handle all that? 

Gavin filled her mind and she smiled. The bad, the horrific...that was not Gavin. He was the good, the extraordinary. Her body warmed as she pictured his face, his hands. His body. The way his cock looked as he pleasured Elizabeth. Was this all about the sex? She shook her head, this wasn't just about the sex. 

No, this was about pleasure. The pleasure of his touch from his fingers on her thigh in the car. The pleasure of making him smile. The pleasure of making him hold his breath! Then there was her pleasure. The orgasms for sure, selfishly. But more than that. The way he treated her. Lovingly. Caringly. All about her. 

She had a decision to make. To stay or to go. If she was to go she needed to be gone before he came back. If he came back, he could sway her with his nature as she wanted to be with him. But this went beyond Gavin alone. This was a new life to begin. A whole new world to discover. Like Columbus when he set sail for the new world. He also had preconceived notions on what lay ahead, but in reality, when he got there it was totally different than what he could imagine. How can anyone imagine something they had no truth to conjure from? 

"What do you want girl?" Alex asked herself in the reflection of the glass window. This was the question Lena had put to her many times after a bad date. "I want it all." Her counter in the rain said as she had Lena on those nights on the couch as Lena comforted her. 

"What if that isn't available?" Alex asked the question Lena had asked. She thought on that for a few moments. The only thing that came to her mind was Gavin's soft nature. 

"You obviously have not met Gavin," Alex smiled as she brought his coat to her nose and smelled him. "He is all. He is my Sir. My Dom. My owner. I will do everything I can to please him with all that I can." 

She walked to her phone and picked it up. 

"You ok?" Came Lena's tired voice. 

"Yes," Alex told her. "I'm in Chicago still. I'm staying the weekend here with Gavin." 

"Things going well then?" Lena asked groggily in mid yawn. 

"Beyond words," Alex smiled. 

"Sounds like love," Lena told her again. 

"I hope so," Alex whispered. 

"Be careful," Lena warned. "Men are assholes. They are selfish and can hurt you." 

"I know," Alex nodded. "But you have to know this one to know that he isn't like most men." 

"So I get to meet him?" Lena asked. 

"Soon," Alex assured. "I love you, go back to sleep, and for the love of God! Go out to breakfast so you don't burn down the apartment!" 

"I bought some Toaster Strudels," Lena laughed. 

"But those have to warmed up," Alex laughed with her. "And you and the toaster aren't on speaking terms." 

"They don't have to be warmed up!" Lena shrugged. "I love you. Take care and for the love of God," Lena stressed turning Alex's words against her, "...keep your eyes open!" 

Alex pushed the off button and picked up the room phone. 

"Front desk," came a man's voice. 

"Yes this is suite 6303...When Dr. Steward arrives will you give me a ring?" Alex asked him. 

"Of course, Madam," the man assured. 

"Thank you," she hung up the phone and went to the shower. 

Gavin hesitated at the door. He hoped when he opened the door he would find what he hoped to find. He frowned as his hand rested with the door key in the slide lock. In reality, he hoped she ran. She was a weakness he couldn't fathom. He had never been brought to his knees the way this woman had forced him to. He blew out a breath and pushed open the door. 

He smiled as he looked down at her in all her naked glory. Kneeling submissively. Her palms up showing her openness to him. He closed the door and leaned against it. His heart pounded on his chest as he watched her. She said nothing. She did nothing. She waited. She waited for his command. The silence as he leaned against the door was nerve racking. 

"This is your decision then?" He whispered after what seemed like an eternity to her. 

"This was my decision since before I was born," Alex whispered back. "I was yours the moment I took my first breath. I will be yours until my last." 

"It's not that severe," Gavin chuckled. "Not that absolute." 

"It is my absolute," Alex stopped him as he walked towards her. "If you mark me as yours, don't ever let the mark fade." 

"Your absolute?" Gavin asked her. 

"My one and only," Alex said firmly. "The rest is at your command. Me, my mind, my body, my soul." 

She looked up to look him in the eye to make sure he understood how firmly she felt. 

"But don't ever let me go, I'm yours for all time. If that is not something you wish to take on, then put me on the train before we go any further," she said firmly before lowering her eyes. 

Gavin didn't move. He didn't breathe for the longest time. This one had put him in that position multiple times since she entered his life. 

"Are you switching on me?" Gavin smiled as he tilted his head at her, which made her secret smile come out. 

"Only on this absolute," she told him. "I'm absolutely yours, for now, for absolutely always. I hope you can handle me."



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 06



Chapter 9* 

Gavin walked over to her as she knelt there in the middle of the room. He stroked her face gently before lifting her chin to look at him. 

"Come, let me mark you...absolutely mine," his eyes made her sigh. That absolute conviction. 

He held out his hand to her and she took it gently. He led her through the room to the bedroom. She wanted to spin him around and rip his clothes off of him and fuck him but kept herself, with all her will, from doing so. 

"You have really complicated my life, little one," he whispered as he turned to her. She started to say something but he pressed a finger to her lips. 

"Don't," he commanded. She kissed his finger instead with a grin. Then gently nipped the end of his manicured finger. "I love the fact you have complicated things. I knew when I saw you in the coffee shop you were going to be a person I needed to experience." 

He ran his fingers into her hair and pulled it backward to pull her face upward to him. 

"I hope you are ready for me," he warned her his voice growing firm. "If not, you are going to regret becoming my sub." 

"Will you be gentle at first?" she whispered. 

"I don't do gentle," he smiled. "I do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want. You have to adjust to me. I promise you, if you just give me all, I will make this the most pleasurable sexual experience you will ever have." 

She swallowed hard bringing his smile out. 

"Oh, little one, what a decision you have made...both good and bad," he then crushed her lips with his mouth causing her to moan out in appreciation. The first step to taking her soul was with his lips. She would never be the same again and she knew it, she was thankful for it. 

His kiss was searing her. Not on her lips that was pressed tightly to his, but her lower lips. They inflamed with the idea he was going to take her. Going to take her in ways she only dreamed about. Going to take her in ways she hadn't even fathomed. She could tell all of that by the kiss. The ultimate way to judge a man. The way a man kissed a woman. Gavin proved he was a Dominant. Just with his kiss. 

Breaking the kiss caused her to gasp. She realized she hadn't taken a breath since he placed his lips on her. Her chest burned from it. 

"Take my cock out," he said as his eyes burned into hers. "Now." She tried to look down but the tightening of his fingers in her hair told her that was not allowed. He was going to stare into her eyes while she did it. 

She fumbled with his belt, then his button. With adrenalin shaking her fingers she pulled the zipper down and reached in to take hold of his shaft with her hand and found it to be a hot iron, hard and steamy. She smiled once she had him filling her hand. Their eyes locked on one another's. 

"Do you like the way that feels, little one?" he asked her as he nibbled sharply on her throat. She thought for a moment he was going to chew through. 

"Yes," she gasped as her skin was pulled by his teeth. 

"Soon, it won't be just your hand that knows my cock," he said as he moved to a different part of her neck as he took hold of her skin again. "Soon your whole body will know my hardness. Your pussy will quake as you hold it, knowing what I will do to it. Soon your boyfriend's experience in your ass will be an afterthought as I fuck him away with the rest of the unworthy men that had you before me." 

"But know this little one," he said coming up to her eyes again. "There will be no one after me that will make you forget the things I am going to do to you! Soon they will stop being your pussy and your ass. Soon, even your mouth will no longer be yours. After I take them with my cock...they will become mine!" 

Forcing her to her knees she looked up as his cock was pressed to her lips. She took him hungrily causing his eyes to flutter closed as her hot mouth enveloped him in a wet sauna of passion. She also let out growl of excitement as she finally had her master's cock in her. Something she had desired from the moment he touched her. 

She went after him like a ravenous beast, trying her best to throat him only to choke off and pull him from her mouth. 

"Easy little one," he smiled down at her as she tried to take him back into her mouth. She was desperate for it. "We have plenty of time for you to learn how to throat my cock...and you will throat it!" He pulled her up gruffly and she whimpered as she wasn't done using his cock to satisfy her oral hunger. 

Pressing her to the bed he spun her to where her head fell off the edge. He then moved over her and his balls dangled in front of her lips and she realized how beautiful they were to her. She suckled them gently with her lips the way she had done the offered strawberry. His hands moved gently down her body to her sensitive nipples. He rubbed his palm over them causing them to ache once again. How the hell does he do that? Alex screamed internally. He has barely touched me, I have barely had his cock in my mouth but I crave it like a favorite meal? How? How? HOW? 

He moved the head of his cock down to her and she smiled as she took him back into her mouth. He held her head and lowered himself into her mouth even further causing her to gag a little on it before he pulled out. Not all the way, just to where the head was sitting at her lips. 

Slowly he lowered himself back down and she could feel him pressing further into her mouth, again she gagged on its size. Again he pulled out to where only the head was on her lips. 

She gasped around his head but never let him fully go, her hands tried to pull him deeper in her mouth. 

"Little one," he scolded as he withdrew completely from her mouth causing her to whimper. "What have I told you about your hands?" 

"I'm sorry, Sir," she whimpered. "It's just that I can't, NOT touch you!" 

"I shall help you then," he smiled. He moved away from her and she started to turn over to see where he was going. 

"There is no reason for you to move," he warned her when he looked to her. She watched from her upside down position. He went to a bag he had brought with him and pulled the rope out. This caused her to smile. 

"I take it you like it this?" He asked her seeing her smile. She nodded. "I don't ask questions to be nodded at." 

"Yes, Sir," she said quickly. He walked over to her and smiled. 

"Give me your uncontrollable hands," he said. 

He kept his beautiful cock just out of reach and she was frustrated by it. She instantly put them up. He flipped her over and pulled her arms behind her back. Folding them in half so that they crossed her shoulder blades before he moved over her and straddled her backside with his cock weighing heavily against her ass. She wiggled slightly and the heavy head fell in between her legs and nuzzled gently against her wet lips. 

"If that goes in there before I'm ready I'm going to consider it a direct disobedience and worthy of 30 strokes," he warned her never stopping his wrapping of her arms. She thought he was just going to tie her wrists together but in typical Gavin fashion he didn't do anything without doing it thoroughly. 

She looked back at him after his threat and smiled. 

"You're assuming that it wouldn't be worth the 30 just to have your magnificent cock in me!" She said obstinately. 

"Oh, Little one," he shook his head with a laugh. "That smart mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble! Shall I take it up to 60? 90? 100? I can go all night, can you? Test me little one, I will break you!" 

"No, Sir," she smiled wickedly. "I'll be a good girl!" 

"Good," he smiled as he nibbled the back of her neck. "I only let good girls cum. I would hate that our first night together be me showing you how good I am at bringing you to the verge of orgasm, then not letting you!" She swallowed hard. She knew he meant every delicious word he just said. "By the way, that is called 'edging'. And I will do that to you as well!" 

"I will be your good girl," she whispered. "Please let me cum!" 

"I like the way you beg," he kissed into her ear. She smiled as the goose bumps flooded her body from his hot breath. "Up, on your knees." He commanded. He pulled on her forearms and helped her to that position. Her face pressed into the soft mattress beneath her but the only thing she could think of was Lena and her sexual tryst in the sketchbook she so passionately drew so many nights ago. 

"I saw this in your sketch book," he smiled, again the Jedi master had read her like an open book. "I take it you liked it enough to draw it." She nodded. "I bet that man didn't do to your friend the things I'm about to do to you!" She wanted to scream out in pleasure for him to do it but she only managed to bite her lip. 

"No, no, little one," he smiled as he pulled on her chin. "Those are my lips, I will do the biting on them! There is nothing you have that doesn't belong to me. Soon you will learn I mean what I say...this body is mine!" 

Gavin kept working, his rope wrapped around her upper thigh down to her knee then connected to her arms. Then he did the other one and attached it similarly to the other side. She tested the binds and found not only was her arms immobilized, so were her legs. They were tucked under her so that she couldn't go flat, even if she wanted to. 

He still wasn't through. Gavin being Gavin. Thorough. He positioned her in the bed so that she was at the foot of it, her toes hanging off the edge. He then brought out more rope. How much rope did this man have? She laughed inwardly. Not a lot, not a little. Enough. She thought...only Gavin. 

Wrapping around her ankles he then tied them off to the posts on the bed. He did the same with the other ankle to the opposite post. She tried her binds now and found she was completely helpless. She couldn't stop him at all. She couldn't move from him either. She was stuck there until he was done. A little leak ran down her inner thigh. She was so ready for whatever he had going. 

"I see you are pleased, little one," he smiled as he dropped to his knees. His tongue found the leak and followed the trail back up forcing her to gasp audibly. "Absolutely the most delicious fruit I have ever tasted. This is the apple in the Garden of Eden, its sweet succulent flesh brought knowledge. Your flesh will too. The knowledge of pleasure, yours and mine!" 

Holy fuck! Who talks like that? In this world where men think if they drop their pants you are supposed to get wet, this man spoke words that made her wet! Holy double fuck! She loved the words that came out, and then she remembered his stance on every word he spoke he meant as it was measured before he spoke it. This made her giddy. How did that work? Pleasing him pleased her? Then she began to understand the depth at which his pleasing her, pleased him. 

She thought of the medallion that Elizabeth wore. The three waves, a full circle. The emblem began to reveal its truth to her. Now she wanted her own medallion. One that would tell the world what she was a part of. That she belonged to a world of little known pleasure. An enigmatic emblem. Like her secret smile. Something for the world to ponder but to never fully know. She was about to learn the full depths of it. She could feel it. In her sex which now waited for him to invade with his all. Powerless to stop it. 

Her body quivered with the knowledge that Gavin was about to show her something few got to see. Few got to feel. Few got to enjoy. She then remembered all the 'kittens' at the party that hated her before they even spoke to her. Eat it bitches! She laughed. This is my pleasure. He chose me! That hit her like a ton of bricks. That made her squishy. He chose her! 

His tongue erased all thoughts as it gently lapped at her clit causing her to lose the ability to think. The pleasure washed over her, then through her, as she shuddered under his soft touch. She gasped and he laughed. 

"God that is the greatest sound to my ears," he said as he began to kiss and suckle at her sex causing her to whimper. He dabbled his tongue into her causing her to push back into his face trying to drive him deeper into her. 

His hands moved up gently the inside of her thighs causing her to shake. His fingers found her clit and the instant his fingers touched she felt a bolt of electricity rocket through her. He began a slow massage with his fingers. 

The orgasm started slowly, building in her stomach, she felt it start there and her body began to shake as it spread outward through her body. It caused her body to warm, soft glow at first, simmering to a slow boil. It boiled over into a pleasurable scream that she buried into the mattress beneath her to keep the entire hotel from knowing that she just came. 

"No, no little one," Gavin said as he suckled her through his words. "I want to hear it...loud and clear. No muffling tonight!" 

"Sorry sir!" she gasped as the next orgasm seemed to be building, causing her to gasp out the words. 

"Tell me," Gavin ordered. "Tell me out loud how I'm pleasing you!" 

"Oh, fuck!" Alex muttered. "Oh! Sir! I'm going to cum!" 

Gavin brought her to the edge and stopped causing her to whimper as the orgasm stopped as well. It was like his lips. Just on the edges, she could feel them but they wouldn't push her over the edge into the orgasmic pool. 

"Please sir!" she begged. 

"What is this called?" he asked her. "I just told you a few moments ago." 

"What?" She tried to push her body back into his face but he moved back further, anticipating it. 

"What I'm doing to you...what is it called?" He asked again. 

"Oral sex?" she whimpered. She couldn't think straight with the sensations she was feeling. That bittersweet feel of outright pleasure but frustration for not happening. Like waiting for your aspirin to kick in, the pleasure knowing that release is almost there. 

"No," Gavin smiled, knowing she wasn't thinking of anything but her orgasm. "Let's try again, maybe it will jog your memory." He started to suckle at her again. His tongue dancing within her while his fingers massaged her clit. She was lost in the ocean of pleasure and forgot he was talking to her. 

Her body began to ascend to the upper levels of her orgasm, dangling on the precipice, her body stiffened to the point every muscle she had was pulling in a different direction. She knew this was going to be a very powerful orgasm. Much like the one she had when she squirted on the bed. She wanted to warn him but her voice was stuck. Her face twisted and red in orgasmic throes. 

Gavin stopped and she nearly fainted. The orgasm ebbed slightly allowing her muscles to relax, letting her back, which was arched like an angry cat, to fall. 

"What?" she begged. "Please don't stop!" 

"Now," Gavin said softly and slowly. "I'm doing something very specific to you, and oral sex is only the vehicle in which we are using to do it. What am I doing to you?" 

What the fuck was he talking about? Why wouldn't he just make her cum already? She wanted to cum! She wanted to cum in the car ride up, she wanted to cum on his cock. She wanted to cum on his face. She wanted to cum anyplace! She shook her head as she listed the places. She thought it sounded like a god damn Dr. Suess book! 

"I don't hear anything," Gavin pushed. "Let's keep going until you remember." 

Again his lips started working on her, again her body stiffened. Again he stopped right when the lights were about to explode. 

"What am I doing to you?" Gavin asked her again. 

"Killing me," she gasped. This caused him to giggle as he stood up. "No, NO!" She begged looking to him with desperate eyes. "Please don't leave me!" 

"I'm not little one," Gavin smiled as he reassured her with his voice and his eyes as he came around to lay his face next to hers. "I'm not going anywhere until you answer my question." 

"I don't understand!" she told him. The pleading in her voice caused him to smile. 

"What. Am. I. Doing. To you," he asked emphasizing each word. 

"Punishing me?" She asked softly afraid to anger him. 

"No," he smiled. "I guess we will have to try again...maybe my instructions aren't clear...I won't let you cum until you tell me specifically what I'm doing to you! Think back, we were talking about how I let good girls cum and bad girls not...I said it was called something...what was it?" 

His fingers slithered under her, then in her and she lost the last of what he said because of her gasp of pleasure as his fingers reached depths his tongue hadn't. Slowly he pushed them into her only to draw them out slower. This caused her body to rock forward and back trying to fuck herself with his fingers. 

"Continue that and I will truly immobilize you with a rack, and then punish you with a crop that I just happened to bring because I knew you would be naughty!" He threatened. She stopped but the mind screamed it didn't care. Crop me. Flog me. Spank me. Whatever you want just make me cum! 

Her body stiffened and she tried to beg with her eyes but that brought him more pleasure. She could tell because his smile grew and his eyes sparkled with the knowledge he was about to bring her to ecstasy. Again right on the precipice he stopped and withdrew his fingers. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she snapped. His eyes hardened first then softened. 

"That little mouth is going to write checks your body can't cash, little one," he warned her firmly. 

"I'm so sorry!" she whimpered. 

"Again, I'm doing something very specific," he asked her. 

"Sir, I can't even remember what my name is right now! If you let me cum I'm sure I can remember what it was!" She tried. She was desperate. Willing to try anything to achieve the ultimate pleasure he was withholding from her. 

"No," he said. She expected that. 

Again his fingers slid in her and she nearly screamed with pleasure. It seemed with every near orgasm the next touch caused even more pleasure. But in doing so her brain shut off and the only thing she could think of was the pleasure. She tried to rush it along, tried to cum before he could stop. When she failed she wanted to rip his head off. 

"Really? You are fucking trying to kill me! Make me cum!" She demanded. 

"That mouth!" Gavin said getting up and moving to the bag. "Perhaps this will remind you of your place." 

Pulling out a crop her eyes widened in fear. 

"Ah, now your eyes show me the proper respect," he said as he came back to her. "But it is too late, I let it go once...I won't let it go again." With a soft flick of the wrist he hit her on her vulnerable cheeks of her ass. Multiple times each side. He seemed to hit the same spot with each strike. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she called out. He dropped the crop next to her face then resumed his place where he could look into her eyes while his fingers dipped into her. 

"Now," Gavin began again. "Back to where we were. What am I doing to you?" 

"I have no idea!" she whimpered as his fingers slid slowly in and out. Her orgasm screamed to be released. She bit her lips trying to keep it hidden from him, hoping to sneak it by him. 

"What did I say about your lip?" he asked pulling on her chin with his free hand. He moved close and took it in his mouth and bit gently. 

She let her eyes sparkle as he released it with a lick of his tongue. 

"Again," he said. "What am I doing to you?" She shook her head and screamed into the mattress in frustration. She couldn't pull one coherent thought into her mind. When she looked back at him he was smiling, waiting, patiently. 

"I have no idea sir," she admitted. "It's the most pleasurable, most frustrating thing that has ever happened to me!" 

He exhaled deeply, and shook his head. 

"We just talked about it," he smiled. 

"You are making me forget everything with your touch!" She pleaded. "Please, just tell me and make me cum!" 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 06



"Then be a good girl," Gavin said softly. "Answer the question." 

"I fucking don't know!" she barked in frustration. 

"Again," he shook his head and smiled sinisterly. She whimpered into the bed and then let out a bloodcurdling scream of anger. 

Slowly he began to work on her but now she tried to fight the exquisite feel of her orgasm off. She didn't want it as it was pure blissful agony! She tried to think of what he was doing. It rattled off her as her orgasm built, the ideas. The conversation. Then it clicked. 

"You're edging me!" she screamed happily. 

"Good girl!" he smiled and whispered into her ear with a kiss. 

With that knowledge in the open he thrust his fingers into her forcefully causing her to scream out her pleasure. Her body arched, her legs shook and her toes curled. The cum flooded out of her like a leaky faucet coating his fingers and the sound of sloshing could be heard throughout the room. For her part, she was frozen. Her body. Her mind. Her voice. All non-responsive as her orgasm rushed from her. She wanted to scream out but it seemed that all her energy, all her ability was gushing out with her cum. 

"Beautiful," Gavin smiled at her when she could pry her eyes open from her orgasmic bliss. 

"Thank you, Sir," she gasped. Her chest heavy with the deep breaths she was sucking in. 

He moved his fingers out of her, dropping his pants she looked at him as he took his clothes off. 

"I wanted to draw this out," he told her as his hard cock came into full view. She smiled as she saw him fully. Nothing to impede her view of his magnificent body. "But something about you has pushed me over the edge. I have to have you!" 

"Please," she whispered. "Fuck me." 

He moved up behind her, his cock pushing on her wet lips. 

"Easy?" He whispered as his cock sat there. "Or harshly?" 

Alex looked over her shoulder at him. It was the same thing Horse Cock had asked. She had asked him if he would be gentle, he said he didn't do gentle. He took. She had a moment of doubt before she smiled at him. 

"Harshly," she whispered as she laid her head back down. 

Gavin chuckled. 

"As you wish, little one," he whispered. His fingers wrapped around her hips, the tips digging in letting her know by the immense pressure. This was going to be strong and powerful. 

He fucked her. Nothing soft. His groin slapped against her backside as he pulled it brutishly back to him causing the sound of their skin hitting to fill the room. She screamed and panted with each thrust. 

"Yes...fuck...God...fuck...yes!" the words fell from her lips incoherently. She couldn't put two words together due to the force in which he took her. She went to giving a single words on the inward thrusts. "Don't...fucking...stop...SIR!" She screamed, she almost turned her head into the mattress but he took fistfuls of her hair and brought her off the mattress causing her to call out into the cavernous hotel room. She was sure they were going to hear her throughout the Windy City! 

His pistoning hips made her jelly after the multiple orgasms. She was now just laying there, her ass up indignantly letting herself be had by him. His fingers pulling on her hips. His teeth biting on her shoulders as he pulled her back up by her hair. She accepted his snake like tongue as it slithered into her mouth from the side. 

HOLY FUCK! She screamed in her head. This was by far the best fuck she had ever had, granted she didn't have many different men but Gavin was right. He fucked the others into oblivion. 

Gavin fucked like a stallion runs...fast, hard and seemingly forever without losing energy. Before his fingers tightened telling her he was getting close but she was basically a blow up doll. Just sitting there not able to do anything but cum on what seemed like every thrust. She babbled like she was a Pentecostal preacher speaking in tongues. Nothing that could be described as English. 

His fingers released her hips and again he pulled her up by the hair. One hand around her throat as his hips continued their onslaught on her helpless body. She stared into his eyes as he kissed her again, his tongue dueling with hers. 

With a guttural animalistic growl he came as they stared into one another's eyes. She was dancing in her mind as she saw the complete pleasure spill out of him and into her with every pulse blast from his cock. His seed flooded her and leaked out around the edges. His cum mixed with hers. 

He released her hair and gently lowered her back to the mattress. Then laid across her, his teeth nibbling on her back. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the luxurious feeling of his fucking. It was indescribable. She wished she could have drawn it! 

He slowly undid the binds on her arms and then moved to her legs. She pulled her arms under her face and let them hold her head of the mattress as she tried to regain her steady breathing but it was proving elusive. 

He had her legs undone and she just let them slip from under her and her body crashed to the bed. 

"Are you ok?" he asked her as he gently ran his fingers over her back. He seemed to be tracing something there. 

"I'm a lot of things," she smiled exhaustedly. "Ok isn't one of them!" 

He looked to her for explanation. 

"Fantastic," she smiled. "That comes to mind." She looked back at him to see him smile. "Holy fuck, comes to mind." This caused him to laugh. 

"I'm sorry," he told her as he massaged multiple spots on her. 

"I'm not!" she laughed. She looked back at him and saw the concern. 

"What is it, Sir?" she asked him. 

"I...have left unintended marks on you," he frowned. 

"I'm fine, Sir," she assured him. 

"It seems you bring something out of me," he shook his head. "Something I thought I had conquered long ago." 

"What is that?" she asked with a smile of satisfaction. 

"The inability to control myself," he whispered as he kissed her softly. 

"I'd apologize for that," she smiled as she laid her head down as he began to massage her legs from where they were bound. "But it wouldn't be sincere!" 

"Oh, little one," he grinned. "The pleasure you bring!" 

He massaged her legs. She didn't realize she needed it until she tried to move. Her legs were sore and jelly like. He laughed but continued to massage. He had fucked her so hard she couldn't walk. An expression she thought was bullshit until this night. 

After spending nearly forty-five minutes massaging her body he slid into bed and pulled her to him. Laying her head on his stomach just above his waist she let her eyes flutter closed as he stroked her back softly. 

She was looking at his cock, it was beautiful even when it wasn't hard. The urge to take him into her mouth overwhelmed her but she was too exhausted to move to it even though it was only a few inches away. 

Gavin ran is fingers on her back gently. He seemed to be focused on a couple spots on her back specifically at times. She fell asleep. His fingers singing a lullaby to her.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 07



Chapter 10* 

Alex woke to a soft argument. She looked around tiredly. Gavin wasn't in bed with her and she frowned because of it. How did he slip from beneath her head without waking her? The last thing she remembered she was laying on his stomach looking at his beautiful cock. Then she remembered how exhausted she was after her evening with Gavin. 

The voices were familiar and she tried to sit up. That's when the pain hit. Nothing horrible. It felt more like she had just started a new workout regimen. The muscles ached all over her body. That's two days in a row now. She smiled. Two days of Gavin's sexual prowess. She rubbed her thighs together and her sex was very sore! She was going to have to start some sort of physical workout routine, perhaps some stretching. Yoga perhaps, if she was going to keep up with this lifestyle. 

She eased from the bed with a hiss. It was a pain that brought pleasure. Pleasure of the memories of Gavin. His magical fingers, his magical tongue. His magical cock! She stood and picked up his shirt which was thrown on a nearby chair. She slipped her arms in it and as soon as his scent hit her nose she became squishy. 

"Jesus girl!" she chastised. "You are a freaking goat!" She chuckled as she made for the bedroom doors and the argument that continued to rage. 

Opening the door stopped the argument. Gavin turned to her and shook his head. 

"I'm sorry little one," he said immediately. "We didn't mean to wake you!" Elizabeth looked on her with a broad smile. 

"Hey Alexandria," she beamed. 

Alex tried to fix her mussed hair but that was useless. 

"Hey," she smiled back a little embarrassed. Not many had seen her like this. 

Gavin went to her and ran his hands on her face. 

"I'm fine, Sir," she assured him. 

"Sore?" he asked. 

"Of course," she laughed. "Sir." 

"A hope a good type of sore," he arched an eyebrow at her knowing it was. 

"Of course!" she laughed. "Like you could do anything else?" 

"Your confidence in me is astounding," he grinned. 

"It's well deserved," Elizabeth chimed in. This caused Gavin's smile to dim slightly. 

"I'm headed for the shower," he told them. "Are you ladies hungry?" 

Alex nodded. He tilted his head. 

"Shit!" she barked. "I mean yes, Sir." She remembered he didn't like being nodded at. 

"Better," he kissed her temple gently and moved by her. 

After Gavin had disappeared into the bedroom toward the bathroom Elizabeth danced a little dance in celebration of Alex's sexual night. 

"What are you dancing about?" Alex asked her embarrassedly. 

"I now know what a freshly fucked, barely able to walk look is!" Elizabeth laughed coming to Alex and hugging her. "And I must admit, that 'I've been fucked into submission hair' looks good on you!" 

"Thanks?" Alex said shaking her head as she didn't know how to respond to that sort of compliment. 

"Well, give me details," Elizabeth insisted. 

"Like what?" Alex asked embarrassedly. 

"Like everything!" 

"You get to fuck him all the time!" Alex pointed out. 

"Yes, but Gavin doesn't fuck everybody the same!" Elizabeth told her. "He caters to what the sub needs!" 

Alex closed her eyes. Holy fuck! A man that tailor fits his fucks? There is no way this man is human. He must be some sort of sexual alien sent here to satisfy earth women's one pussy at a time. This caused her to bark out a laugh to herself. Maybe not just satisfied pussies. Could an ass be satisfied the same way? Are anal orgasms a thing? 

"Explain that laugh," Elizabeth demanded her face going serious. 

"I just didn't realize Gavin was some sort of sextraterestrial," Alex said with a giggle. Elizabeth furrowed her brow. She shook her head. "Bad joke." 

"C'mon," Elizabeth smiled. "I have an idea...if you are up to it?" Elizabeth flicked her eyebrows diabolically. 

"What do you have in mind?" Alex ask suspiciously. 

"Well, I could use a shower," Elizabeth shrugged innocently as Alex's smile broadened. "You look like a shower is in your future...Gavin is in the shower...I'm all about the environment. Shall we save water?" 

"How big is the shower?" Alex laughed as Elizabeth pulled her towards the bathroom. 

"Who cares?" Elizabeth laughed as she nearly danced giddily towards the bedroom and then the bathroom inside. "We want to be close anyway!" 

The girls stopped outside the bathroom and got undressed. Elizabeth turned and pushed Gavin's shirt off Alex's body revealing her. Alex reached up to start pulling on buttons on Elizabeth's clothes and her eyes sparkled their approval. Alex felt uncomfortable doing this as she had only undressed one other woman. Lena who came home in a drunken state covered in vomit. 

This was not that! This was hot! Elizabeth allowed her fingers to guide Alex in her endeavor. Helping pull her underwear down. Elizabeth took hold of Alex's hands and guided them up her naked body. Making sure to push Alex's fingers into her dampening pussy. Elizabeth smiled in approval as Alex blushed. 

"I could so fuck you right now," Elizabeth said to Alex as she suckled on Alex's fingers. Elizabeth moved her hands down between Alex's legs and found her sex equally wet. "It looks like you want me to fuck you!" Alex felt her head nod but she didn't tell it to. It was as if it had a mind of its own! 

"Another time," Elizabeth whispered as she brushed her lips across Alex's. Her hot breath causing Alex to shiver with excitement. "Let's go play!" She pulled on Alex's hand and they quietly entered the bathroom. The steam billowed out of the shower stall with Gavin inside. His head back letting the hot water cascade down his head and back. His eyes closed unaware the girls were drinking him in. 

"If that isn't the hottest thing you have ever seen...," Elizabeth whispered into Alex's ear. 

"It most certainly is!" Alex marveled. 

She had never seen a man shower before aside from TV or a movie. None showed the beauty that was Gavin. His body wet, his manhood softly hanging with water dripping off of it. It made her squishy but she didn't know if her poor pussy could handle another intrusion. Looking him over completely from head to toe. She didn't give a fuck. She just had to have him! 

Elizabeth led her to the shower with a smile that reminded Alex of being a little girl with her sister headed down stairs to see what Santa brought. A naughty smile as they held hands in solidarity as they approached the tree on Christmas morning while their parents slept. 

The glass door opening brought Gavin out of his solitude and he looked to the beautiful women entering the shower. Alex was guided to the front of Gavin while Elizabeth went behind him, the water spraying off the three of them. 

Alex dropped to her knees submissively and Gavin's eyes twinkled in approval. 

"Oh my," Elizabeth gasped. "That is utterly beautiful! I see why you love it so! Is it the hottest thing you have ever seen?" She whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around Gavin from behind. 

"No," Gavin disagreed. "You should see the way she fucks!" 

"I can't wait," Elizabeth smiled as she nibbled on Gavin's back. Her hands went down to his cock and began to stroke his hard cock. "Sir? She merely kneels at your feet and you get rock hard?" 

"She has an effect on me I can't explain," Gavin said as he let his eyes flutter closed at Elizabeth's manipulations. 

"I did well then?" Elizabeth smiled. 

"You were a very good girl!" Gavin told her as he kissed her while she stood behind him. Elizabeth reached out to Alex and pulled on her head towards Gavin's cock and Alex took him in greedily. 

"Ok," Gavin grinned as he looked down as Alex looked up hungrily at him. "Maybe that is the best thing I've seen!" Alex grinned satisfactorily around his cock. 

"Can she take you all the way down?" Elizabeth asked. On command Alex tried. She held it as long as she could but pulled back as she gagged. 

"God damn!" Elizabeth gasped. "That is fucking hot!" With the compliments that she took as words of encouragement she went after Gavin's cock with a vigor that caused him to hold onto her head. 

"No, no, little one," he whispered. 

"No, Sir...please let her go!" Elizabeth begged. "I want to watch her swallow your delicious cum!" 

"I don't know if she is a swallower or not!" Gavin said hoarsely as he released Alex's head and she returned to her vigorous head bob. 

"Nobody would refuse your cum!" Elizabeth said, warning Alex with her eyes she had better not stop until his cum was in her mouth. 

"That may not be a boundary she is ready for," Gavin smiled as Elizabeth reached between his legs to massage his balls. 

"She doesn't seem to be slowing at all," Elizabeth pointed out. As they watched her work his shaft with her lips. 

"No," Gavin smiled. "She doesn't." 

Alex sucked for a few more seconds before pulling off long enough to swirl her tongue around the head of his cock. 

"What would please you, Sir," Alex asked him as she never stopped working his magnificent cock. "That is all I want...to know what would please you!" 

"A Dom's cum is never to be wasted," Elizabeth answered for him. "Whatever hole he is in, be honored when he coats it with his cum!" 

"Alexandria," Gavin asked her causing her to look up at him hungrily. "What would you like?" 

"I want your cum in my mouth, Sir!" Alex smiled as she nibbled on the helmet of his cock. "I want to feel it slide down my throat as I watch your face as you put your precious seed in my body. I'm sorry, your body! Use my mouth as a cum receptacle!" 

She didn't know if that type of talk would turn him on. She remembered it from a porn video with a past boyfriend. At the time she thought it to be a bit chauvinistic and degrading even, as if that was all women were good for. A cum receptacle. Now she hoped it would please Gavin. Her Dom. What a difference this life was making for her. 

"Holy fuck!" Gavin gasped. "You are going to be the death of me!" He grinned. Elizabeth winked at her satisfactorily. 

"Suck his cock!" Elizabeth demanded. 

"As you wish," Alex winked back. 

"But don't swallow it all," Elizabeth warned. "I want some too!" Alex's eyes told her she didn't understand completely. "Don't worry, I'll show you!" 

Gavin reached back with his fingers and slid them inside Elizabeth as she kissed him while watching Alex work. His fingers sliding in and out causing her to gasp repeatedly. His free hand fell to Alex' bobbing head as she worked his shaft. Her eyes drifting from Gavin's face as she sucked him, to Gavin's fingers as he plunged them into Elizabeth, to her face as she enjoyed the manipulations of Gavin's talented fingers. 

Elizabeth was beautiful, Alex thought, when she came on Gavin's fingers. Her body rigid, her face flushed as he gently pushed her over the edge of her orgasm. Alex smiled around Gavin's cock as it happened. 

Gavin pushed Elizabeth to her knees and she joined Alex on the floor of the shower stall. Alex moved slightly as Elizabeth came in to join in the sucking of Gavin's cock. He watched as the two girls shared his cock. His head fell back against the tile of the stall when the girls both put their mouth on his cock, one to a side, sliding up the shaft, meeting at the head to kiss before going back down the shaft to the balls and their tongues danced as they licked his balls together. 

Elizabeth moved off and pushed Alex's head down on his cock. She wasn't as gentle as Gavin in her encouragement in trying to deep throat him. Pushing hard and holding her head when she wanted to come off as she gagged when it went too far down. Finally she released her head and Alex pulled completely off afraid she was going to vomit from the ordeal. 

"Elizabeth!" Gavin chastised. "She is not ready for that!" 

"She looks soooo fucking hot as she struggles though!" Elizabeth smiled sinisterly. 

"Coach her," Gavin was looking sternly at Elizabeth and it was obvious to Alex he wasn't happy with what she was doing to Alex. Alex took a pleasure in that. 

"Does that please you when she does that?" Alex asked him looking up into his eyes. "Force my head like that?" 

"You suck my cock the way you want to," he smiled as he traced his finger around her face. 

"I want to throat you," Alex told him. 

"You will," Gavin smiled as he leaned down. "In time." 

"It's about relaxing your throat," Elizabeth smiled as she moved in. "It's hard at first as your body doesn't know how to do it, it's protecting you from choking yourself. It takes time and practice." 

"I like to practice," Alex said looking up at Gavin. 

"Oh, little one," Gavin smiled. 

Elizabeth took him fully in her throat and Alex marveled at it. Holding him there she took Alex's hand and put it to her throat so she could feel the swelling there with Gavin's cock. When Alex looked up at Gavin, he wasn't looking at the woman who had his cock in her throat. He was looking at her. 

"Now you try," Elizabeth said looking up and finding the same thing. There was a flash of jealousy on her face that neither of them saw as they looked to one another. 

Alex leaned in and thought about the two types of saliva on Gavin's cock now. That would normally repulse her. Now it was different. It was Gavin's cock and nothing was going to keep her from pleasing him. 

She slowly put her mouth on but locked onto his eyes. They were encouraging her. 

"Go slow," Elizabeth instructed. 

As Alex reached the end of her ability, there was still a few inches left out. 

"Wait," Elizabeth continued. "Let your throat become accustomed to it." Alex held her gaze on Gavin and was lost in his secret smile. 

"Now very slowly think about swallowing pills," Elizabeth cooed. "Then drop your mouth down a little more." 

Alex tried, but wound up with the same result. A gag and had to withdraw. She refused to pull her mouth off all the way. Again she lowered herself down, following Elizabeth's instructions. Again she failed. Alex backed off. 

"It takes time," Gavin assured. "You will do it before you know it!" He was so encouraging. 

"Elizabeth," Alex whispered. "I want him in my throat." 

"In time," Elizabeth smiled. 

"No," Alex said firmly. "Now. Hold my head down, I want him in my throat." 

"Alexandria," Gavin cautioned his face firming up. 

"I want you in my throat," Alex smiled up. "Even if it just for a second!" 

"Go slow," Elizabeth smiled as she put her hands in Alex's hair. 

Alex went slow and reached her gag point. 

"Hold there," Elizabeth whispered in her ear like the angels and devils from Saturday morning cartoons. The little Jiminy Crickets of conscious. One for good, one for naughty. "Focus on relaxing your throat." 

Alex tried her best but all she was thinking about was how hot Gavin looked as he looked down at her admiring her. 

"Work on breathing out of your nose," Elizabeth whispered as she nuzzled Alex's ear. Alex's nostrils began to work in and out as she focused on that. "Now swallow the pill." Alex tried and Elizabeth pushed on her head. Alex's eyes clamped shut instinctively. 

"Swallow, swallow, swallow!" Elizabeth repeated in her ear. Alex forced open her eyes and realized she was much further down than she had been able to before. She looked up and Gavin was biting his own lip and Alex nearly danced. She got her Dom to bite his lip, something she was forbidden to do to herself in the moment of pleasure. 

Doing her inner dance caused her to forget what she was supposed to be concentrating on and her gag reflex kicked in and she began to push away. She got her mouth off and she gasped for air. 

"Dammit!" She barked angrily at her failure. She stroked his cock as she stared at it angrily. A new nemesis. His size and her desire to have him in her throat. 

"Why must you push this now, little one?" Gavin asked her. 

"I want all of you in my mouth!" Alex told him. 

"Later," Gavin smiled appreciating her desire. 

"No, Sir," Alex shook her head. "Now!" 

Gavin took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. In the corner of her eye Alex saw Elizabeth grin as she recognized the look on Gavin's face. Elizabeth moved back. 

"If that would please you," Gavin whispered. Alex nodded. "Oh little one, you are a switch!" Alex bit her lip as he put one hand on her chin the other on the back of her head. Alex looked up at him. "I'm going to fuck your throat." He answered her questioning eyes. Inside, part of her danced as the words sounded like music. 

He started off slowly, and she was pushing into him as he pushed with his hips. He watched down at her as she peered up. Slowly he began to drive deeper and deeper hitting her gag reflex put pulling out before she gagged. His eyes grew hard and she loved it. 

He forced his cock down as far as he could go as he pulled on her head. Instinctively as he entered her throat forcefully she pushed on his thighs to pull off. He was much too strong as he held her there. Soon her hands were slapping at his thighs as his cock had cut off her air. He released her after a few moments and she sucked in a sharp breath but he never let go of her head. 

"Again," he demanded. She tried to say something but his cock was back in and driving down her throat repeatedly. Her eyes began to water with the intrusion. Forcefully he pulled on her head while driving his hips forward. Now her nose was closer to his trimmed pubic hair. Again he released her head and she gasped for breath. 

Now she was driven, she was closer than ever before to having his whole cock in her mouth. She didn't wait for Gavin to put his cock back in to her mouth. This time she put it in herself and he began to fuck her throat again. 

She tried to keep herself from fighting off but he kept going, watching her the entire time. She knew he would pull off before it was too late and he did. She barely had her mouth off before she sucked in a breath and took him back down. He growled in satisfaction at her aggressiveness. 

Over and over they did this, then it finally happened. He held her head there, her nose nestled into his pubic hair. Part of her danced, another part was fighting for air, another looked up and saw the ultimate satisfaction in his face. 

He released her but she wanted him back. 

"Easy little one," he cautioned but she whimpered as she took him grabbing hold of his buttocks as Elizabeth had done. Gavin released her head and she pulled herself now down all the way. 

Over and over she forced his cock deep in her throat, relishing in her accomplishment. Gavin's thighs began to shake. Alex pulled back and continued to suck as her fist pumped on his cock while she tried to catch her breath with her mouth just around the head. 

"Little one," Gavin growled as he wrapped her hair in his fingers. 

"Cum in my mouth!" Alex begged. "Sir! Please!" Gavin watched her eyes as his cock erupted in her mouth, blast after salty blast filled her mouth as he growled in a mixture of ultimate pleasure and a tinge of pain at the strength in which he came.  

"Don't swallow all of him," Elizabeth whispered in her ear like the devil on her shoulder. Alex smiled as his load filled her mouth. She cupped her tongue to keep it from going down her throat. 

Squeezing the last of his load into her mouth, her eyes twinkled her happiness to him as he winked at her approvingly. Elizabeth pulled on her chin and Alex had her mouth slightly open and Elizabeth smiled as she saw the pool of white cum in her mouth. 

"Lift up on your knees," Elizabeth smiled. Alex fought the urge to swallow as she nodded slightly with the cum balancing like an overfull cup of coffee. "Then just let some slide from your mouth, into mine." 

Alex raised on her knees as Elizabeth tilted her head, measuring her lips carefully, Alex let some of Gavin's cum release from her mouth in a string into Elizabeth's hungrily waiting mouth. Alex closed her mouth after she deposited a fair amount into Elizabeth's. Some landing on her lips and cheek as Alex got her aim right. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 07



Both women smiled happily as they both went face to face and swallowed their shared load. Elizabeth moved in and deeply kissed Alex, their tongues wiping whatever cum they could find into their mouths. Alex was beyond deliriously happy. Especially when Gavin joined them in a kiss and all three tongues were dancing. 

"You two are fantastically beautiful swapping cum!" Gavin whispered. 

"Thank you, Sir," they said in unison. 

"Wow, that will take some getting used to!" Gavin grinned at their response. 

Alex was brushing her hair in the mirror, reliving the erotic shower encounter. Gavin's cum in her mouth, the salty taste. Letting it drip from her mouth into Elizabeth's like a mother bird feeding her young. The passionate kiss with her afterward. 

Alex had kissed another girl on a dare once. She was at a party, alcohol was involved. This was different. This was a wanted kiss. She had wanted it from the coffee shop when Elizabeth first touched her fingers. To the other night while she sat in the chair. It was strangely erotic, she didn't consider herself a lesbian, or a bisexual by any stretch. She was just now learning a new life and she wanted to experience it all before deciding. 

That's what she would do, try everything at least once. Then decide. From experience, not fear. Gavin's words of not letting fear dictate your decisions came back to her. The Jedi master. Wise Obi-Wan. She caught something in the mirror and tilted her shoulders to look at her back. She gasped when she saw it. 

A mark on her skin, part red and part purple. Teeth marks. She smiled as she touched them but her body flinched. A pleasurable pain. She then remembered Gavin's look. His apologetic eyes. This was what he meant about unintended marks. She didn't mind. She actually found it really erotic! 

When he mentioned it, she didn't know for sure what he was talking about. Now she did. 

She put her fingers on it then turned, she found another mark on the other side. Not as defined, but there. She bit her lip as she turned from one to the other...admiring them. Her badges of honor. Her marks of being taken. 

She had hickeys before, but these were different. These were left unintentionally in the throes of passion. Passion ignited by her. To a man in control, she brought out the uncontrolled. While it left him concerned, she was not. To her, it was an accomplishment. 

"Are you ok?" Gavin's voice caused her to jump. 

"Yes, Sir," she smiled at him in the mirror. She was lost in her blissful accomplishment and hadn't noticed him in the doorway. He was surveying her carefully. He moved in and closed the door behind him. He touched her bite marks and frowned. 

"I'm truly sorry," he said to her shaking his head. 

"I am not," she said when his eyes met hers. "I want you to respond the way you respond without thinking. I want whatever I bring out of you!" 

"Not this," Gavin said softly. "This is not me." 

"It is you," Alex assured him. "It's the part of you I elicit and I would have it no other way. No holding back. Please?" 

Gavin took her into his arms from behind and she went to run her fingers through his hair as he stood behind her. She stroked then remembered she wasn't allowed and removed them with a smile and shake of her head. 

"Sorry, Sir," she said when he looked to her as he kissed her neck. "Sorta." He barked out a laugh. 

"Oh, little one," he grinned. "You are going to be a test." 

"Is that a good thing? Or a bad thing?" Alex asked him. 

"That remains to be seen!" Gavin shrugged. "But I'm dying to be tested!" 

"As you wish! Sir," she smiled. 

He withdrew his arms from around her but she held firm and put them back. 

"Are you switching on me?" Gavin asked her. 

"I'm trying to bring out your inner sub," Alex smiled back. 

"I'm a Dom," he reminded. 

"I already have you doing things beyond your control," she reminded gently. "Something tells me you want me, and only me, to dominate you." 

"You think so?" Gavin asked her his eyes hardening. She nodded and swallowed hard but not backing down. "So it begins." 

"It does, Sir," Alex grinned as he opened the door causing him to giggle as he left. 

"Bring it, little one!" He dared her with a challenging grin as he left her in the bathroom. 

An early dinner was what Alex needed. She was lost in herself when she suggested breakfast. Gavin shook his head as Elizabeth laughed. It was pointed out to her that it was after four in the afternoon. 

They sat in an elegant bistro on the "Miracle Mile". The lake shimmering in the wake of the morning storm. Gavin sat in his silence as Elizabeth regaled Alex in her conference. Alex could see a storm brewing again. This one not over the lake, but in Gavin. Elizabeth either didn't realize it or didn't care as she spun her tale of harried traffic and lustful looks from her fellow conference reps. 

When Elizabeth left for the restroom, Alex put her hand on Gavin's. 

"Are you ok?" she asked him searching his face, her stomach knotted at what he would say. 

She feared his forced ownership. She would let him out if he asked, she decided that. But she wanted the four days as he promised. She would let him think on it until then. Hopefully if she pleased him enough it would wash any doubt of him owning her out of his mind. It was an absolute. That would have to be dealt with. Either by him, or by her. 

"Yes," he smiled falsely as he picked up her hand and kissed it. 

"Liar," she said in warning. "Sir." She finished with a smile. 

"Ah, yes," he breathed out slowly. His smile coming more freely now. "The switch." 

"Do you really think I am?" Alex asked him. He stared at her for a moment then shrugged as he smiled. 

"You are what you choose to be," he reminded. "There is nothing wrong with being a switch, to have the pleasures of both taking and receiving? I'm sure that would be both highly pleasurable and highly testing." 

Alex nodded. 

"Would it bother you to have a sub that was a switch?" Alex asked him. He measured his words carefully and she could see it. 

"I'm a Dom," he reminded. "I can't be your sub...and I don't..." 

"Share," Alex frowned, as she finished for him. "What if I don't want to be a switch?" 

"You can't go against who you are," Gavin said leaning in to be closer to her. "You won't be happy. I wasn't happy being a sub, I don't think you will get what you fully want out of this if you don't succumb to what you are." 

"If I'm a switch," Alex whispered. "I can't have you, and therefore my decision is easy. I want whatever brings me you." 

"I want you to understand, this life is about choices," Gavin said firmly. "To be happy you have to make the right choice." 

"You are my choice," Alex warned him. Her voice firming at his pushing her away. 

"Switch," he laughed taking full note of the tone. 

"Testing you," she reminded. 

"I won't break," he countered. 

"I won't quit," she returned with a smile. "Sir." 

"How are your shoulders?" he asked about her marks. 

"Empowering," she shook her head that he was still concerned about it, even after she told him she liked them. 

"Don't fucking shake your head at me!" Gavin growled. "It is my job to be concerned about you!" 

"I told you I was fine," she said softly lowering her eyes to the table. "I will measure my words with you as well. Only the truth shall escape my lips." 

"I've never done that before," Gavin said again. "I don't know how to take the fact that I allowed myself to forget my place." 

"Sir," Alex began slowly. "My job is to bring you to the utmost pleasure to where you aren't thinking...to bring you what you desire...instinctively." 

"Harming you is not an absolute I will never break!" Gavin barked more at himself than her. 

"And I was not harmed," Alex told him softly reassuring. "I was pleasured before, during and after. The marks I bare are ones I take pride in. They are your marks, I take pride in the fact I am doing things for you that you have never had done to you! I can't be your first, but I can be the one that takes you to another level of pleasure, and that would make my heart sing." 

"I don't want to be like Royce," Gavin told her plainly and what bothered him the most. Her eyes flared and he smiled. 

"You. Are not an animal," Alex said through gritted teeth. "You are a Dom. He is not!" 

"Switch," he whispered as he kissed her lips gently never moving from them as he said it. 

"My Sir," she smiled letting her eyes flutter closed. 

Mid way thru diner Gavin's phone chimed with an incoming text, he looked to it and frowned. Alex looked from him to Elizabeth who shook her head. The text was obviously a bad omen. 

"Who needs you now?" Elizabeth asked. 

"Madelyn," Gavin said with a shake of his head as he thought of the argument he had with her. His banishment. 

"Madelyn needs you?" Elizabeth asked him. "Or wants you?" Gavin shifted his eyes from Elizabeth and her teasing to Alex who smiled. 

"I think she would want Alex more so than me!" Gavin smiled as he got up. Elizabeth looked to Alex who shrugged. 

"I'm sorry ladies," Gavin sighed as he kissed Elizabeth on the cheek. He then smiled as he went to Alex. "Duty calls." He kissed her gently as he touched her face with his fingertips. 

"Want company?" Alex offered. "Maybe I could smooth some ruffled feathers...get you back in the good graces." 

"You'd kill her for sure!" Gavin reminded her of the response she had given when he made an offer in jest. "I'll text you with an ETA." The girls nodded as Alex watched him leave. Elizabeth went to scanning the restaurant for other men to look at. Alex's eyes were firmly locked on Gavin. He stopped just outside the doorway to hold the door for an incoming customer and he locked eyes with Alex. He winked at her and she puckered her lips at him in a silent kiss. 

"Your blood pressure is up," Gavin said shaking his head as he pulled the cuff off her. 

"How bad?" Madelyn asked. 

"Are you taking the pills?" Gavin asked sitting down on the bed ignoring the question. 

"No," Madelyn admitted. 

"Dammit woman!" Gavin growled. 

"I am not one of your subs to be barked at!" Madelyn defended. 

"I don't care who you think you are, you are a woman I have a deep affection for, so quit fucking around and take the god damn pills!" Gavin ordered taking her hand. 

"Oh my," she laughed. "Now who is acting like an old woman?" 

"I'm going to bend you over my knee!" Gavin threatened. 

"Won't Alexandria be jealous?" she teased causing him to shake his head and look away. 

"The answer to all of the questions you seek isn't on one of the masterpieces on my wall," she pushed alluding to the many pieces of art that she had decorating her home. "It resides in the young lady on your arm last night!" 

"Don't," Gavin warned. 

"Don't?" she gasped back. 

"I have my absolutes," he reminded. 

"You said it yourself, Elizabeth is leaving!" she pointed out as he stood and went to the window. 

"I don't know that for sure," Gavin lied. 

"Bullshit!" she countered angrily. "What's really bothering you?" Gavin stared into the darkness of the night. What bothered him was hurting his new sub. Something he had never done before. Alex had assured him she was alright, that she liked the marks but the only thing he could think of was Kelly. What had happened to Kelly. If he would do something like that to Alex...he would never be able to live with himself. 

"Alex...she brings out something," he shrugged as he looked over his shoulder at her. 

"Passion," she smiled. 

"I've been in relationships before!" he shook his head at her conclusion. 

"No," she shook her head at his attempt. "You have fucked before. You have never had a relationship before. They were arrangements!" Gavin turned back to the window. 

"Ohhhh," she smiled victoriously. 

"Take that little tone out!" Gavin grinned. He could never get one by Madelyn. 

"No!" she laughed. "Why can't you have this one?" 

"She brings out my worst," he sighed. 

"Explain," 

"I can't control myself with her," he said turning to lean against the wall. 

"And that's a bad thing?" 

"It is when I hurt her," Gavin frowned thinking of the marks. 

"Did you harm her?" 

"No, God no! If I had done that...," he shook his head and let his head fall back as he let the idea fill his head. 

"What then?" 

"I left marks I did not intend to leave," Gavin told her embarrassedly. "That's not me." 

"Hmmm," Madelyn smiled. 

"What you evil bitch?" 

"She brought out the uncontrolled Gavin?" she asked. He nodded. "What did you do? Bruise her with that magnificent cock?" 

"No," he frowned. "I was, with her." He stopped. She opened her eyes wordlessly at him to continue. "I was biting on her." Madelyn smiled. 

"You left teeth marks?" she prodded gently to which he nodded embarrassed. 

"And what did she do?" 

"She likes them," Gavin sighed. "She likes the fact I lost control...she doesn't know me..." 

"Oh my God!" Madelyn suddenly raged. "You have got be fucking kidding me!" Gavin shook his head that she didn't understand. "Don't you fucking dare shake your head at me boy!" 

"Easy," Gavin grinned knowing that was a pet peeve of hers. Something he adopted from her. Not being shook at. "Your blood pressure is up, I don't want you to stroke out on me!" 

"Fuck you," she laughed. "The girl has ignited something you wish to control! Got news for you sonny boy! It can't be controlled!" 

"What? What can't be controlled?" Gavin asked coming back to her. 

"You know damn well what!" 

"After two days? Really? You think it's the big 'L'?" Gavin scoffed as he shook his head. 

"Yes," she said confidently. "Just because you are denying it with your conscious thought doesn't mean you aren't thinking it!" 

"Explain," 

"When she walked into that room, with Kelly there, you went mad!" Madelyn pointed out. 

"I was protecting her from the horrors of it," Gavin defended. 

"Horrors you wouldn't have thought twice about for anyone else," she countered. "Elizabeth has seen worse from Royce, not a bat of an eye from you. The girl before Elizabeth...what was her name?" 

"Regina," he smiled. 

"Regina, had seen worse," she continued. Gavin looked away. "It was Alex that got your dander up." 

"Alex," Gavin shook his head. "She doesn't know what she wants yet." 

"So she should be exposed then," 

"No, not that bullshit," he huffed. 

"Why?" she smiled. He didn't answer. "You know what you looked like when Royce mentioned her name?" 

"Like Gavin," he said sarcastically. 

"Like a boyfriend protecting his girl," she corrected coolly that he was trying this defense with her of all people. 

"I was a Dom, protecting my sub," 

"Bullshit!" she barked with a laugh. "There isn't a Dom in the world that would even attempt to make a move on your sub, you know that, so the stand you made was unnecessary!" 

"It was Royce," Gavin pointed out the troll. 

"Ok, smart ass," Madelyn countered. "Then why the violation of your absolute, absolute?" Gavin started to say something but stopped. 

"Yeah, that's what I thought!" Madelyn smiled. "If this was just about a sub, you don't make that stand!" 

"I was protecting...," 

"Save that shit for someone who doesn't know you the way I know you!" she growled. She took his hand when he was silent for some time. 

"It's ok, Son," she smiled. "You can have it all!" 

"What if I lose it all?" 

"The only way that happens is if you don't claim her," she said motherly to him. 

"Maybe she will claim me," he chuckled under his sigh. "She is a switch." He said to her questioning eyes. 

"No shit?" she gasped. 

"No shit...and a good one I'd wager," he grinned. "Puts me on my heels." 

"That's what you need," Madelyn smiled. "A challenge you haven't faced before!" 

Gavin started to leave, "Take the goddamn pills you evil bitch." 

"One other thing my love," Madelyn stopped him as Charles handed her a glass of water and the pills. Gavin stopped and crossed his arms as he looked to her sternly as he could tell by her look of smugness he wasn't going to like what she had to say. 

"It's Alexandria," she smiled. 

"What's Alexandria?" he asked her confused. 

"If she is just a sub," Madelyn shrugged. "Her name is Alexandria!" 

"Yeah?" he was confused. 

"You were calling her Alex dear," Madelyn smiled. 

"I was not," he furrowed his brow as he thought about it. 

"Charles?" Madelyn asked never taking her eyes from him. 

"You called her Alex...twice," Charles said softly trying to hold back the smile. 

"I did?" Gavin gasped. 

"She not only has you doing things against your nature when she is with you, but you are thinking of her differently when she isn't here!" Madelyn laughed washing down the pills. 

"Fuck you, you evil bitch," Gavin laughed as he was had again. 

"I love you too!" 

"I love you," Gavin said with a shake of his head. 

"I approve of her," Madelyn smiled. "I know that's why you brought her to the party. A party I remember you saying you didn't have the time for!" 

"Thank you," he sighed. "How long am I banished for?" 

"You know me better than that! I couldn't banish you anymore than I could Alexandria!" Madelyn shook her head at him. "See, she even has me doing things without me thinking! I have to see her again so I can't banish you without banishing that lovely creature!"



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 08



Gavin walked into the room and looked around, it was silent. He looked to his watch and wondered if the girls had gone out for drinks after dinner. Walking into the bedroom he found them, each in the submissive pose at the corner of the bed.

"I've died and gone to heaven," Gavin smiled loosening his tie.

"Welcome," they said in unison. 

"St. Peter is busy tonight so he asked us to guard the gates!" Alex teased causing him to laugh.

"Fuck me," he gasped at the view of the two stunning women kneeling in only lace garters.

"If that would please you," Elizabeth smiled.

"Later perhaps," he smiled as he looked to Alex. "I think Alexandria needs a boundary pushed."

"What boundary is that? Sir," Alex asked her secret smile coming out.

"Elizabeth," Gavin said moving to a chair and sitting down. He crossed his legs and pressed the tips of his fingers together in front of his face. Time to see if he is right he decided.

"Elizabeth is a boundary?" Alex asked confused.

"Well, judging by the couple of things I have seen you interact with, I take it you have never been with a woman?" Gavin stated more than asked.

"No, Sir," Alex shook her head.

"I offered you to Madelyn last night and you got excited," he smiled at her when she lifted her head in surprise. She shook her head. Damn Jedi. "Then the first night, when I was playing with you, you had a lustful look at Elizabeth...like you wanted to eat her."

"Who wouldn't?" Alex smiled.

"Show me then, entertain me," Gavin demanded.

Alex lifted her head but didn't stand as Elizabeth did.

"That will be ten," Gavin said softly watching her hesitation. Alex smiled and stood when Elizabeth pulled on her hand. 

As soon as Alex was on her feet Elizabeth had her lips on her mouth and they were in a passionate kiss. Alex lost all sense of where she was. She opened her eyes to look at Gavin and saw his secret smile and knew he was pleased. This caused a fire to rage in Alex as she put her hands in Elizabeth's raven dark curls and held her head forcefully as she pulled her mouth off.

Alex looked at Elizabeth with a fire that matched the one growing between her legs.

"Open your mouth," Alex said forcefully. Gavin watched Alex switch her Dom on. It was easy for her. Gavin shook his head. This woman could so easily be a Dom. He frowned slightly, if she decided to be a Dom, he would lose her.

Elizabeth obeyed and opened her lips. "I want your tongue." Alex demanded. Elizabeth slowly let it slip out to the edge of her lips. Alex let her tongue join it on her lips. She rubbed the soft split in the middle of Elizabeth's tongue causing it to flip up and nearly wrap around Alex's.

Alex then let her tongue trail the edges of her soft rose colored lips.

"You are delicious," Alex smiled looking at her.

"Thank you," Elizabeth smiled.

"I wonder how your other lips taste?" Alex asked as she ran her tongue across Elizabeth's tongue. Alex didn't wait for a response. She pushed Elizabeth to the bed and watched as she propped herself up on her elbows to watch with her secret smile.

Elizabeth watched her for a moment as Alex drank her in. Elizabeth used the crook of her finger to beckon Alex to her. Alex obliged moving her body over Elizabeth's. Kissing her passionately again. Moving down her lips to Elizabeth's throat. Letting her tongue dance on her skin as she heated to a boil.

Elizabeth ran her fingers through Alex's hair and pushed her gently. Nudging her lower on her body. Alex took the prompt and moved down to her breasts. Alex pulled them gently from their delicate lace encasement. Looking up at Elizabeth she slowly traced the areola with her tongue, using it like a snake uses its tongue to feel out. 

Taking the nipple in her mouth Alex sucked deeply bringing the tautness to a tiny bud in her mouth. She trailed her snake tongue over to the other breast, her hot breath causing Elizabeth to drop her head back as she sat there propped up on her elbows.

Moving down hastily Alex couldn't stop her heart from pounding in excitement. She was doing everything in her power to slow her beating heart and her breaths as they seemed more set for a sprint race, the excitement causing them to come in short gasps. She got down to Elizabeth's sex. It was beautifully pink. She kept it completely free of hair and Alex found that very erotic! It was smooth and looked like a ripened peach ready to be suckled. 

"What is wrong little one?" She turned her head to find Gavin standing next to her. She had thought he was in the chair. She was so lost in the erotic nature of the moment she hadn't seen him come up next to her.

"Nothing, Sir," she smiled. "I've just never seen anything so beautiful!" She marveled quietly.

"Yours is just as beautiful," Gavin assured her. She shook her head. "Do you know what to do?"

"I've never done this before," Alex admitted looking up at him. Gavin knelt next to her.

"You know what to do, just trust your instincts and do what feels right," Gavin smiled stroking her lips with his thumb. "There really isn't a wrong way to do it...just watch Elizabeth...she will tell you what she likes without a word." Gavin leaned down and used his tongue to gently caress the outer part of Elizabeth's sex causing her to hold her breath.

"I see," Alex smiled as she saw it.

"You try," Gavin encouraged. Alex got closer and could smell the excitement from Elizabeth. Slowly she let her tongue follow the trail Gavin had just laid out. Following his saliva trail with her tongue. This caused Elizabeth to arch her hips trying to push Alex's tongue into her sex instead of the edge. Alex let her eyes twinkle at Elizabeth's attempt.

"That's a good girl," Gavin cooed in her ear as he coached her. The words set Alex ablaze and she buried her face into Elizabeth's sex causing her to gasp in pleasure.

"No, no, no!' Gavin pulled on Alex's hair pulling her back which caused Elizabeth to whimper. "Not so fast!" Gavin grinned. "You are always so eager!" Alex looked up at him as she had her lips wet from her and Gavin's saliva and now Elizabeth's sex. Now it was Gavin who couldn't stop himself as he crushed his lips to Alex's causing her to smile as she hooked him easily.

"Oh my!" Gavin grinned licking his lips. "Go slow...drive her crazy before satisfying her desire."

"Shall I edge her?" Alex asked wickedly as she began to slowly lick again. The words caused Elizabeth to shake her head in pleading against.

"You are in control right now," Gavin smiled as he watched her. "What do you want?"

"I want her cum on my face!" Alex said with a hungry growl. Elizabeth gasped as Alex buried her tongue for a few seconds before pulling off and licking the outside again.

Alex repeated the process over and over. A few laps around her sex, before delving into the sweet sex Elizabeth possessed. Alex would look up at her when she buried her face in to see the exquisite reaction Elizabeth gave with each deep invasion. The dropping of her head, the biting of her lip. The way she held her breath causing her breasts, which raised and lowered with her quickening breaths, only to stop moving when she held her breath. 

Alex watched and absorbed everything. She felt Gavin's hands on her body. His fingers walking gently down her spine causing her to shiver. He moved across her buttocks, letting his fingers fall into the valley of separation. Alex tensed when he brushed his fingers against her anus. She looked to him when he stopped there and traced around the edges. He pushed her head back into Elizabeth and Alex ate hungrily as Elizabeth groaned out her approval. 

Gavin pushed gently on her anus, never going in, just applying pressure to it causing it to indent. Alex ravenously ate at Elizabeth now. Her own passion erupting. She didn't know why his finger near her ass was turning her on but it was. She thought it odd as the last time a man was near her ass it ended in disaster.

"No apprehension?" Gavin whispered. "Trust...good girl!" The words caused her to go wild on Elizabeth as Elizabeth's stomach muscles tightened under her milky white skin. Alex watched her tense her body up under her manipulations, her hips lifting off with the squeezing of her abs.

"A woman's orgasm," Gavin whispered in Alex's ear as his tongue danced on the edge of her lobe. His finger still pressing gently on her anus. "Is the most beautiful thing on earth or in heaven!" 

He watched with Alex as she marveled over Elizabeth in mid orgasm. Elizabeth was pulling on Alex's head, pulling her deeper, as she lifted her hips pushing herself into Alex's face frozen as her orgasm danced just out of reach for a few maddening seconds before it washed from her and out.

Alex gasped as Elizabeth's inner beauty, her orgasm, came to light. This time it wasn't brought on by Gavin, who was a master at bringing women to orgasm. It was her lips. Her tongue. It was her manipulations that brought Elizabeth to her zenith. 

Elizabeth looked down at her hungrily and with an admiration. Alex smiled her secret smile but continued to work on her fellow sub.

"How does she taste?" Gavin asked as he admired the way Alex was working.

"Magnificent!" Alex said in her folds. Gavin went to Elizabeth and kissed her deeply while his hands pinched her nipples causing her to squeal in pleasure. He left her lips and moved in behind Alex. 

Elizabeth held her head when she tried to turn to see what Gavin was doing behind her. He had pulled her buttocks apart, alarming her instincts. Elizabeth shook her head at her with a smile. Alex was thankful for it as she realized Elizabeth had just saved her from another ten strokes!

Alex gasped as she felt Gavin's tongue on her anus.

"Holy fuck!" Alex gasped in pleasure. She had never felt something like this before. The softness of his tongue was only surpassed in pleasure when he pushed it into her ass. She sat opened mouth as his tongue probed her inner sanctum. A place only once ever entered before. One that left her horribly scarred. This was definitely not that! This caused her to shake with excitement.

"You like this little one?" Gavin laughed at the rhetorical question. He knew she did.

"I've never felt anything like it!" Alex gasped. "Are you going to fuck my ass?"

"Do you want me to?" he asked her while still tonguing her.

"I want to please you," she said, but the quiver in her voice couldn't be stopped.

"In time," he smiled. "After we have prepared you." He brought his hand up to her and gently inserted his pinky in her ass causing her to tighten instinctively. "Oh yes little one...I'm going to love fucking this tight little ass of yours!" He marveled at the tightness of her taboo hole.

She relaxed as she realized, he wasn't hurting her in the least. It felt a little odd yes. But not painful. He pulled his finger out and buried his tongue back causing her to bury her face into Elizabeth who moaned appreciatively for the three of them as the other two were busy with their mouths.

Alex brought her hand up to rub Elizabeth's clit which was gently poking from its hiding spot. This caused Elizabeth to grind upward on Alex's face with a growl. Alex had remembered this is what made her squirt. The rubbing of her clit while Gavin fucked her with his cock the other night. 

Elizabeth nodded her approval as she pulled on Alex's head pulling her deeper with her. Her hips rose off the mattress and Alex smiled as she doubled her speed to help the beautiful woman to her climax.

Gavin continued to probe Alex's anus with his tongue but watched the beauty of Elizabeth as she came. With a squirt. Not a lot. Not a little. Enough. Alex danced in her head happily that she had the power to make Elizabeth squirt. Elizabeth fell back to the bed exhaustedly. 

Gavin stopped his soft manipulations of Alex's anus and licked his way from there up her ass, to the small of her back. He reached around and under Alex as she laid her head down on Elizabeth's freshly orgasmed pussy. 

Gavin manipulated Alex to her first orgasm as he pressed the bulge in his pants to her anus. Alex loved the feel of it there. She thought she wouldn't, or worse think of her ex and the pain he caused. Instead she wondered if Gavin could fit his size in her ass. What would that feel like, what...the thought cut off as she came on his fingers. How the fuck does the man do that? Make her cum so easily? How? How? HOW?

"God damn!" she gasped, as her body released its muscles from their pleasurable clench.

"God I love the way you cum!" Gavin gasped as he kissed his marks on Alex's back.

"God I love the way you make me cum!" she said back to him searching his eyes and seeing the small glimmer of regret of the marks. "Don't." She warned him.

"Switch!" he laughed breathily.

"I love them, they are beautiful!" she assured him.

"No, you are beautiful!" He smiled kissing them again hoping to will them away. "On the bed." He commanded. He held his hand to her and helped her up as Elizabeth sat there with her secret smile.

"Your head here," Gavin patted near the foot of the bed. Alex turned and laid back. Her head just resting on the edge. He held his hand to Elizabeth who stood with his help. He positioned her to where she straddled Alex's head with her thighs.

"Return the favor," Gavin whispered to Elizabeth who needed no other instruction. She quickly buried her face into Alex's sex causing Alex's body to tighten. For the first time in her life, a woman was fucking her. Granted it was only a tongue but it was skilled. Almost as skilled as Gavin's. When Alex's eyes were able to be opened she looked and found Gavin positioning himself at Elizabeth's entrance. She had an up close and personal view of the marvel of Elizabeth's sex gently resisting Gavin's manhood before swallowing it whole. Much like her mouth had done that first night. All at once, and to the bottom!

Gavin sat there, his cock deeply planted in Elizabeth's sex. The long initial thrust caused her to gasp into Alex's sex which made Alex shiver with excitement as Elizabeth's hot breath washed over her clit. Once he was all the way in, Elizabeth returned with a gusto of hunger on Alex's raw pussy as if it was a buffet meal.

Alex watched Gavin's cock there, nestled deeply within her folds. His balls hung gently down, inches from her face. She reached up wickedly with her tongue and cupped them. This caused him to gasp. Yep, she made him do that!

Alex went from his balls up to where his shaft disappeared into Elizabeth. Elizabeth's clit pushed out by his size. Alex smiled as she watch Elizabeth flinch as her tongue hit it with the tip. Punching at it like a boxer on a speed bag.

"Fuck yeah!" Elizabeth gasped.

"Very talented tongue, isn't it," Gavin said as he kissed the spine of the lovely beauty he was buried in.

"Oh my God! Yes!" Elizabeth hissed as Alex continued to work. First Gavin, then her. Then him, then her. Relishing the held breaths. The gasps. The way Elizabeth's legs shook. Gavin began long slow strokes in her. Each time his cock pulled out, Alex would lick the shaft as it became available.

"That's fucking incredible," Gavin whispered. "Oh, little one! Don't stop!"

Alex reached out. She knew she couldn't touch him, but Elizabeth didn't have such rules. She used Elizabeth's firm ass cheeks to pull her deeper into both of them. Alex was squirming as Elizabeth was bringing her into the throes of an orgasm. Her body stiffened as she held her face into Elizabeth's pussy, as Gavin pushed his cock past her mouth and into the soft sex. Elizabeth came with Alex and that boggled her mind. She had cum with her man at the same time, but for whatever reason, perhaps it was the newness. Or perhaps it was the taboo nature of girl on girl sex but this was hotter!

She collapsed to the bed in a heap as her breathing was erratic and she felt the liquid drip down to her forehead, she looked up to see the liquid dangling on Elizabeth's sex, she lifted her head to clean it from her. 

She watched for a few moments, Gavin's rod pushing in and out of Elizabeth. Watching a soft white foam appear around the edges of her entrance. That thrilled Alex to no end. It was all so intoxicating. Gavin pulled out suddenly causing Elizabeth to whimper as she was riding a wave to orgasm again on his magnificent cock. He spun her around to where she was side by side with Alex, then pulled Alex roughly from the bed. Alex liked the manhandling. It reminded her of who was in control.

He positioned her like he had Elizabeth, and then without gentleness plowed right into Alex making her call out.

"Gawd Damn!" Alex gasped as she gripped the sheets on either side of Elizabeth. Elizabeth raised her head and began to lap at Alex causing her legs to tremble with the sensations washing over her sensitive body. 

Gavin's steel shaft plowing mercilessly into her. The softness of Elizabeth's tongue on her clit caused to scream out as her orgasm caught her by surprise. There was very little build up. It was just suddenly there. She cried out into the folds of Elizabeth's sex and the vibrations of Alex's passionate scream sent Elizabeth over the edge.

Alex lifted her head and looked back at him and saw the pleasure written all over his face. His fingers dug gently into her hips as he rocked her back to him as he came forward. Their soft slapping of skin on skin filled her ears. Not as loud as the morning fuck he had given her but it was there. She wanted more and it showed in her eyes as they glittered at him satisfactorily. He shook his head at her in warning reading her easily. Her desire.

"Fuck me!" She demanded as she looked back at him. He gritted his teeth to keep himself in control. 

"Trying to switch on me?" Gavin smiled as he continued on.

"You either fuck me...hard. Or I'm going to fuck you!" She warned as she started to drive her hips back into him causing him to slam into her.

"Oh little one!" Gavin closed his eyes to maintain the passion that was erupting within him. From his balls outward. He held still and Alex smiled as she began to slam herself back into him with a growl.

"God your cock feels fucking fantastic!" She said between gasps. "I want your cum!"

"You are going to get it!"

"I want it all over me!" She begged as she watched his face twist in the painful pleasure of his orgasm. His growl was unintended but it came out easily. She pushed him out of her and took hold of his cock forcefully as she jerked his cock the rest of the way to Nirvana, his head tossed back, his eyes closed shut tightly as his cum erupted out the head in a spurts as she pulled on it spraying their faces as they lay there, cheek to cheek.

"Fuuuuucckkkk!" Gavin growled as he looked down as she pulled the last bit of cum from his head with a tight squeeze of her fist. The sparkle of approval in his eyes matched only by her smile. Which was coated with ropes of white cum. She pulled gently on his cock causing him to shake his head at her desire.

"More little one?" He asked with a smile.

"Your boundaries..." She grinned. "And a tad more!"

"Fucking switch!" he marveled as Elizabeth pulled her face to hers and they began to clean each other off.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 09



Alex awoke in the night, she was sandwiched between Gavin and Elizabeth in the bed. Gavin had bathed them as he always did. She could see he was exhausted but he wouldn't shirk his duty. She told him it was unnecessary which brought a scoff.

"I'm the Dom, little one, don't fucking make me prove it," he hissed taking her by the hair and pulling it tightly.

"Yes, Sir," was all she could gasp as she felt his dominance over her. The mere way he took her hair and hissed at her made her wet. Fuck the switch shit she thought at the time. I have no problem bowing before Gavin!

She looked up to his face and found him peacefully asleep. She touched his face gently and he awoke with a start.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as to not wake Elizabeth.

"Are you ok?" he asked immediately. Touching her face.

"How could I not be?" she smiled, kissing his lips to push the worry from him. "I'm wrapped in your arms, my pussy aches, satisfied. I've tasted your cum twice today. I have a goddess at my back...gently snoring." She laughed as Elizabeth snorted slightly. "But nothing compares to waking up next to you feeling your hard cock against me!"

"You are going to kill me!" Gavin grinned. She took hold of him. She pushed him to his back and guided him into her which made her wince as he filled her. He took hold of her face, cupping it on either side with his strong hands, as she continued to press through her pain.

"Green," she smiled. "Very much green!" He smiled at her as she began a slow grind. "I just can't get enough of your cock!"

"You are going to wear it down to a nub!" he smiled as she dropped her lips to his. 

She kissed his lips, nibbling on the bottom before moving to his ear and nibbling there. Her breathing rushed into his ear as she whimpered with a pleasure filled gasp as she rode him.

"If I'm hurting you," Gavin warned her, but she silenced him with her lips.

"In the most pleasurable way possible!" she said never leaving his lips. Her pussy felt afire. It burned from use but she couldn't stop the hunger from overwhelming her. Pain be damned, she only had four days and it was coming to an end in mere hours now. She had to have his cock as much as she could physically take, just in case the worst happens!

He took hold of her hair as she bit her lip and clinched her eyes shut as her orgasm caused her body to stiffen. He pushed up into her driving her beyond it and down on top of him she flopped exhaustedly.

"Enough little one," he whispered as she lay there gasping.

"Never enough," she whispered back, taking his lip in her mouth and pulling gently as she sat up driving him deeper into her. She leaned back as he sat up and held onto her hips as she arched her back grinding onto his cock. She broke his rule and took him by the head as she came up but he didn't chastise her for touching him. She was beyond that and he could tell. His own orgasm was ushered from him. She bucked on him when she saw it in his face.

"Cum for me, Sir," she begged softly into the night. "Please...fill me!"

"Oh little one," he shook his head as she grinned at her pet name. She pressed her lips to his and rode him into his orgasm as he gasped his pleasure into her mouth as he filled her with what his body had left.

He pulled her back to the mattress with him and she laid her head next to his. Stroking his face contently as she felt him ooze out of her. She tried to move so she wouldn't leak onto him and get him messy but he gripped her ass with both hands not letting her move. They fell asleep like that. Her atop of him. He inside of her, stroking her buttocks with his fingers.

She woke up alone the next morning. Her smile instant as she moved and her sex complained about its overuse.

"Suffer, bitch," she whispered. "You haven't been used nearly enough the past couple of years...time to catch up you underused goddess!"

She listened to the argument in the next room. It sounded as if Elizabeth was having a tantrum. Alex laid there listening. She shook her head. Enough. Gavin was tired she could hear it in his voice even if Elizabeth didn't care. She did!

Walking out she scowled at Elizabeth before turning her eyes to Gavin and smiled.

"You weren't there," Alex complained as he came to her and kissed her forehead in apology.

"I needed to get some things straightened out," he smiled.

"Just once, I want to wake up with you next to me!"

Chapter 11

Sunday had come way too fast for Alex. Although Gavin had claimed her, she was still going to hold to the original agreement as she felt Madelyn forced his hand by Royce's action. She wanted to make sure that Gavin truly wanted her the way she wanted him to want her. Before she got too involved and wound up getting hurt.

When Alex told Elizabeth what had happened with Kelly, she was neither shocked nor appalled. She knew Royce and the mere mention of his name caused her to slip a small grin. Alex didn't know why she was perturbed by the smirk, but she was.

Alex thought back to Gavin's words on the way up. That Elizabeth wanted more than he was willing to give. The way Elizabeth acted after being told the story made Alex think Elizabeth wanted a Royce. Why Alex did not know. Royce was a dangerous, selfish man. His only thought was of his own pleasure. If someone got hurt he didn't care. As long as he received his desire, he was fine with whatever outcome came.

"Elizabeth," Alex cautioned with a shake of her head. "He's dangerous."

"No," Elizabeth smiled. "He just needs a sub that knows how to take care of herself. One with experience."

"No," Alex said firmly. "He's an animal only concerned with himself. He didn't care about Kelly or whether she lived or died."

"Oh, Alexandria," Elizabeth laughed, rolling her eyes, making Alex's skin crawl. "You have a lot to learn!"

"Some things just come naturally," Alex said coolly. "Like spotting an asshole from a mile off."

"Royce is from a very influential family," Elizabeth smiled. "He is going to be somebody. Perhaps a Senator or even...President!"

"No," Alex shook her head. "He is going to wind up with a prison number on his back. Probably somebody's sub for a pack of smokes."

"Oh the dramatics!" Elizabeth giggled. Alex shrugged but turned away, her face burned in anger at being laughed at.

"Royce's dad is a U.S. Congressman," Elizabeth said realizing her words angered the new girl. "There is no way he is going to prison while Daddy has some power."

"I don't care who his daddy is," Alex said firmly. "He kills somebody, he is going to jail!"

Elizabeth shrugged. Alex shook her head. Gavin was right. Her leaving was a foregone conclusion and it seemed she had already picked a new Dom. The worst kind in Alex's limited knowledge.

Dinner was quiet as they ate. Alex wanted Gavin to say something but it seemed that his argument with Elizabeth wasn't over. Perhaps she should have let them argue it out and get it over with before she came out.

Gavin seemed lost in his thoughts. Anytime Alex caught his eye he would give her a wink but she could tell he was mulling something over. When Elizabeth excused herself to go to the restroom, Alex took the moment to break the silence at the table.

"Sir," Alex began softly. Her mind told her she needed to do this. Her heart screamed at her not to.

"Alexandria?" Gavin smiled. It wasn't the same smile he had when they were alone.

"I want you to know," Alex began slowly, sorting the words in her head. "I'm not going to hold you to the vow you gave in the room with Kelly and Royce. I know you were doing it to protect me. I don't want your forced ownership."

Gavin sat back and studied her.

"You think I don't want you?" Gavin asked her as he furrowed his brow and studied her.

"I think you do," Alex said nodding. "And know that I want you...desperately. But I want you willingly. I don't want a promise made in the heat of the moment. I know you are violating your absolute."

"I am," Gavin nodded as he frowned and looked to the table.

"Sir," Alex continued. "I don't want another Dom. Madelyn said you were the best and I don't doubt that. I liked the way the other kittens were jealous of me. I like the way they looked at me with a healthy hatred. But most of all, I like the way you look at me."

"Alexandria," Gavin began slowly. "I don't know what to say." He looked to the ceiling. "You are correct in your observation of why I claimed you. I wanted to protect you. And coming to the hotel yesterday I hoped you would be gone. Gone from me and out of my control."

Alex lowered her head. She was disappointed. She wanted him to say, 'No you are my sub, I've claimed you and you can't leave! You can leave when I'm done with you!'. But he broke her heart by not saying it. Now he was letting her go. Either she wasn't good enough or his absolutes won out. He was monogamous.

"How do I put this?" Gavin said through a deep exhale. "I wanted you to be gone, not because I don't want you...quite the opposite! I want you too much! I...," Alex's smile came out as the words were making her tingle. "Make no mistake. I have cared for every one of my subs. I have been fond of them all, but you...you are making me feel something...more."

Alex looked up at him. He shrugged.

"I have no words, measure or unmeasured, to describe the way I feel about you," Gavin said folding his hands under his chin as he evaluated her. "I've never been...,"

"Been what?" Alex asked him when he stopped and shook his head.

"Afraid," Gavin sighed.

"Afraid?" Alex asked shocked. He nodded.

"I'm having thoughts that I shouldn't," Gavin explained right before Elizabeth returned and Gavin said nothing more. Alex knew nothing more needed to be said. The conversation she had been dreading floored her unexpectedly. Did this man just admit he might be in over his head with her?

"Alexandria," Gavin said sternly, going back to his Dom. "You need to make a decision."

"She has made it!" Elizabeth scoffed, the surprise coating her face with a tinge of anger in her eyes.

"Elizabeth, don't interrupt," Gavin warned forcefully. He turned to Alex again.

"I want you to make a decision," Gavin began again. "You are to take a cooling off period. Take the week. Think about what you want, and who you want. This is nothing to rush into."

"What if I don't need the week?" Alex asked him looking into his eyes.

"I need the week," Gavin said softly.

"You've both committed!" Elizabeth gasped. Alex could tell she wanted this to happen too desperately. It probably meant this was her out, once Gavin had a new sub she would leave. She wouldn't just up and leave Gavin with nothing.

"I am committed," Alex nodded softly, looking Gavin in the eyes the entire time. "But Gavin's promise was one he made in the heat of a moment. I don't want that. I want the promise under the right circumstances."

Elizabeth sat back with a huff. Alex stared at Gavin and she could tell in his eyes he was thankful that she understood.

The ride from Chicago was unbearably long. Alex sat in the front with Gavin but he didn't touch her the way he did on the way up. No soft hand on the inside of her thigh to make her tingle. No conversation either. Elizabeth sat in the back staring out the window. There was anger radiating from the backseat. A mixture of sorrow and regret from the front. The cabin of the expensive car seemed to press in on her making it hard to breathe.

Pulling up to her car in the parking lot of the coffee shop where this all began, Alex fiddled with her fingers silently as Gavin walked slowly around the car to open her door. Walking with him to her car, Alex left her head down. She hoped she was wrong, but this felt an awful lot like goodbye.

As Alex leaned against her car she heard a slamming of a car door and she looked to see Elizabeth storm around the car to get into the passenger side. Alex realized Gavin didn't open Elizabeth's door as he had hers.

"Ignore her temper tantrum," Gavin warned. "That's an argument to have at home."

"Gavin," Alex began slowly. "I don't need a week. When you decide, I'll be waiting." Gavin cupped her chin and tilted it up.

"I said take the week," Gavin said firmly.

"You don't own me yet," Alex reminded. "Until then...," he cut off her insolence with a kiss that made her sigh.

"That wonderful little mouth of yours!" Gavin whispered.

"Just say yes, and it will be yours," Alex whispered back lifting her heavy lashes up.

"So eager," Gavin smiled as he shook his head with a grin and ran his thumb across her lips. His face went from enjoyment to seriousness and Alex held her breath for what he was about to say to her.

"I want you to really think about this. This world I live in can be really wondrous, but it can also be a nightmare. I've seen both sides. I've always tried to make sure I did things the right way, but I know, all Doms don't do what I do." 

"I want you to think about it seriously. I know you think you know what you want, but I seriously doubt after just a few days you can know. You think you do, but only because it's been exciting and new. It isn't always like this weekend."

"I understand," Alex frowned. "And I trust you to be right about the other Doms. Which is why it is so important that I have you." 

He was right. She was rushing because she enjoyed him and she hadn't had many men to compare with him. She doubted any man could be like this man, but this was all so new to her. Overwhelming. Sometimes it felt like she was treading water in an angry ocean of desire.

"I promise to think about what you have shown me, and I know there is a lot I don't know. But let me put this to you...how am I going to learn if I'm on the outside?" Her question made him twist his mouth in contemplation. She could see the thoughts running through his head as he calculated what she said.

Gavin looked to the night sky for answers. She was right.

"Perhaps a trial basis could be arranged," Gavin frowned. "I will think on it as well. It's sort of a violation of my absolutes, but then again, I've never had a complete novice before either...so perhaps an accommodation can be made." 

She smiled.

"No you haven't won," he warned her firmly. "I'm still monogamous, but it is something to consider. It seems you are testing me in ways I never thought I would be tested."

"Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" she asked him getting lost in his chocolate brown eyes.

"That remains to be seen," he told her. "Alexandria, you are a quandary." She nodded. She had been called worse and the sparkle of approval in his eyes told her that he meant it as a compliment.

He opened her door and she shook her head. She didn't want to get into her car. He had exposed her to too much now. There was no going back. How does one go back to the vanilla world as he called it? You can't. How does she convince him to claim her fully? 

She took the long way home to clear her head. She needed to come to grips with returning to the other world. The vanilla world. Could she? She felt so alive now. Like a child seeing Christmas for the first time. It was all so overwhelming and left her mind scrambling to catch up. She never felt over her head as she had Gavin by her side to guide her. 

If the worst happened and Gavin's absolutes won out. Could she continue on without him? Would she want to? Gavin said he would introduce her to a Dom to her liking, but if you have been with the best can you ever settle for a lesser product? Could she ever be fulfilled with something good but not as good as Gavin? 

Madelyn who had been in the life for a long time said he was the best she had seen or heard about. How do you take something less now? After test driving a Mercedes can you ever go down to a bargain basement Chevy? Both are good cars but one has all the bells and whistles the other just reliable?

"Hey!" came Lena's voice from the living room after she closed her front door.

"Hey," Alex called back somberly.

"See? The apartment still stands!" Lena joked as Alex turned the corner.

Alex grinned as she plopped down next to her roomie on the couch with a disappointed sigh.

"Uh-oh," Lena frowned surveying her roommate, fearing the worst.

"No," Alex shook her head, reading it easily. "I'm in a holding pattern."

"I thought it was going so well?" Lena asked pulling Alex into a comforting hug. Something she had done on multiple occasions throughout Alex's less than stellar love life.

"It was," Alex agreed. "He just wants me to make sure this is what I want."

"Ok," Lena rocked her. "Is this what you want?"

"More than anything," Alex smiled.

"Then what's the deal?" Lena asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Alex laughed a soft laugh. She tried to come up with the vocabulary to tell Lena all she had been privy to this weekend. The shows, the sex. The emotions he evoked from her. Everything. She found she felt she didn't have the words.

"Try me," 

"Gavin is a Dom," Alex told her bluntly with a half shrug of her shoulders.

"A Dom?"

"A Dominant. BDSM," Alex clarified.

"Holy shit!" Lena gasped with a shocked smile. "You kinky little bitch!" Alex giggled at her stunned response. "You are into that?"

"I didn't know I was until this week," Alex shrugged.

"Like whips and chains?" 

"No," Alex shook her head. "And yes."

"Are you trying to be confusing?" Lena asked.

"The BDSM world I thought of, isn't what I thought it was," Alex exhaled. "Yes there are parts of it that involve those things, but it's not always about those things...or so I'm learning."

"Give me an example," Lena demanded.

"Have you ever had a guy get you off thirteen times?" Alex looked to her quizzically and reveled in the dropped jaw look her friend was giving her. "And never get undressed?"

"Bullshit!" Lena drew out. Alex shrugged but her eyes spoke the truth and Lena knew it.

"He took me to a party this weekend," Alex smiled as she laid her head on Lena's lap. It reminded her of the fantastic sex she had with Gavin before falling asleep on him. "I saw things I can't describe! I felt like...well I can't describe that either. It's a world filled with things that will leave your mind scrambling to believe."

"So what happened?" Lena asked as she stroked her hair.

"I picked a Dom who is monogamous," Alex frowned unhappily. "It's one of his absolutes."

"Absolutes?" Lena asked gently running her fingers through her roommate's hair, coaxing her into a soft sigh of pleasure.

"A rule that can't be broken," Alex sighed as she closed her eyes regretfully.

"You like him?" 

"Yes," Alex whispered.

"Does he like you?" 

"Yes," she whispered again. "Maybe too much he said."

"So he's scared?"

"It is so unlike him to be scared," Alex laughed without an ounce of humor. "But he said he was."

"Why?"

"Because he likes me too much," Alex wrinkled her nose up as she said it.

"Jesus," 

"I know," Alex agreed matching her frown.

Alex spent her days in the coffee shop in the hopes he would come in. He never did. Neither did Elizabeth. Alex was beginning to lose hope. Each day she felt like the odds of him coming to her faded. 

She hoped he would check in on her, but he never did. She wanted to text him, but knew that might anger him as he wanted her to take the whole week. She didn't need a week. She didn't need a day. She didn't need a second! Why on earth was she so foolish to allow him to back out? Why couldn't she hold him to his honor? She could have held him to his promise. He was a man of honor, she could then convince him having her was a good thing!

Late on the fourth night of her forced sabbatical, the only sounds in the apartment were that of the refrigerator kicking on and off. She sat staring at the ceiling, her art scattered about the room as she tried to sketch all the things she witnessed over the weekend. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 09



Madelyn made her drawings, Horse Cock and his ridiculous head. The picture of the woman in shackles made her run her fingers over it, reliving the first show. The room in which Madelyn guided her before the shows. She drew the other subs, their collars included. She even had done Candy, with the jealousy in her eyes. All were engrained in her memory.

She rubbed the collar she wore to bed, the collar that Gavin had given her. She only wore it now at night. When she was alone.

She thought about Gavin. His eyes. His body. His hands. Oh his hands! She refused to draw him because it hurt just to think of him. She put on the dress he bought her and did a drawing of herself in the dress. She put a whirlwind around her, her auburn hair flying wildly about her, symbolizing the world she was swept up in.

Gavin kept encroaching her thoughts with the way he fucked her. She let her fingers saunter into her panties. Touching her lips she could feel the rawness was still there even after four days. She smiled. She pulled her panties off and let her fingers play. Softly trying to imitate Gavin's touch as she thought about the way he looked at her while he manipulated her soft folds.

Her finger found her clit and caused her body to jump. Her eyes closed and she slowly massaged her bud. Moving a little lower, she slid her middle finger into her warmth and gasped softly in the dark. 

Sliding it slowly in and out of her, she pretended it was Gavin. Her fingers softly pushing her folds to the side. She moved a second finger into her and this caused her to bite her lip as her hips began to rise to meet her hand. 

The sound of her wet sex filled her ears and the scent of her, filled her nose. She turned her head into the pillow and bit into the down feathers as her body began to tense under her manipulations. Her fingers causing a sopping sound as her body showed its approval of her intimate touch. 

Her body lifted off the mattress of the bed as she thrust her fingers into herself madly pushing herself to the limit. She smiled wickedly when she stopped just as her orgasm was about to explode.

"Alexandria," she whispered in the dark with a wicked smile, reliving the first night in the hotel where Gavin took her finally. "What am I doing to you?" She released the pillow from her teeth as she fluttered her eyes open. "Edging." She sighed. She waited a few moments before slowly beginning her manipulations. Slowly she gyrated her hips up into her fingers as they transformed into her lover.

"Please," she whispered. "Fuck me." Her fingers responded. Slowly at first, then faster and faster until she was grunting under the force in which she was working herself. Coming to the brink she was torn on whether to continue to her orgasm, one that begged to be released, or drive herself mad. 

Madness won out as she forced her fingers from her and she whimpered at her own denial. She let her body calm as she pulled on her nipples to bring out their tautness. Slowly she snaked her fingers back down and eased them into her.

With the palm of her hand rubbing her clit, the bud pressed to her hand as her fingers plunged into her depths she tossed her head back and forth on the pillow tossing her soft auburn hair around. Lifting her hips off the mattress in an attempt to delve deeper into her sexual recesses, she had all her weight on her feet and her shoulders as her cum washed out of her with a soft yelp of pleasurable release from her lips as she allowed herself to cum.

Crashing to the bed she panted as her fingers slowly pulled out of her. She lifted her hand in the moonlight and saw the soft glistening of her fingers showing her cum. She smiled. She slowly brought her fingers to her mouth and placed them in. For the first time in her life, she masturbated herself to orgasm and tasted her own cum.

She then frowned. She wanted to prolong the sexual pleasure but she couldn't stop herself from causing her orgasm. She wasn't the Dom Gavin was. Gavin would have kept her on edge for a lot longer. How did he stay so calm during all of what they did? How did ensure multiple orgasms from her without going mad with lust and satisfying himself?

"That's why he is a fantastic Dom," she told herself aloud. "He has discipline!"

She thought about it all, slowly. From beginning to end. From Elizabeth in the coffee shop to riding Gavin in the middle of the night while another women laid in bed asleep. Every moment was relived. 

She forced herself to relive the horror of Kelly. Because Gavin would want her to, to understand the ugly part of his world. The angry words spoken from Gavin's mouth as he protected her from Royce. 

There was a lot to like about the world Gavin was a part of. A world she ultimately decided she wanted. The question went from whether she wanted it or not, to one of, does she want it if Gavin isn't a part of it? She shook her head as she looked out the window from her bed. 

"One problem at a time, girl," she whispered to herself. "First we need to find out if Gavin can overcome his absolute." She turned over onto her side and felt the wetness between her thighs. This made her smile as she drifted off to sleep.

Dropping her art bag on the floor she shifted through the mail. Junk mail mostly. A bill or two.

"Hey!" came Lena's happy voice.

"Hey," Alex said as she shuffled her feet.

"No!" Lena laughed.

"Turn it," the male voice caused her heart to skip a beat and her body to freeze.

"I can't! She'll kill me for sure!" Lena protested.

"I've already seen it!" he laughed. "Turn it!" Alex forced her feet to move and gawked at him from the doorway, her secret smile eased out from the edges of her mouth.

"Oh my!" Gavin laughed. "Really?" He looked up at her and the smile she had couldn't be contained. "A skunk?"

"What are you showing him?" Alex suddenly gasped as she realized what they were looking at.

"Pictures," Lena smile deviously.

"NO!" Alex barked.

"Yes," Gavin giggled.

"What happened to the week?" Alex asked, her feet frozen to the floor beneath her. She wanted to run to him and kneel at his feet but she couldn't move.

"I don't need a week," he smiled as he stood up and made his way over to her. 

"Maybe I do," Alex said back firmly with a cock of her head.

"Switching on me?" Gavin asked, his secret smile out as he touched her gently near her ear.

"Perhaps," Alex told him as her breath caught in her throat.

"Maybe I won't let you come to your senses," Gavin whispered as Lena slipped by her, squeezing her arm in a congratulatory hug.

"I don't know what to say," Alex smiled, her heart beating in her chest wildly.

"It has been the longest five days of my life," Gavin admitted walking around her, admiring her. Reliving the time with her, like he had done for five days. "I can't sleep, I can't eat. I can't think straight. I want you."

"You want me?" Alex nearly danced out of her shoes right there.

"No," Gavin shook his head. "I need you. You have awakened something in me that I wish to never go to sleep again."

She led him to her bedroom but before he could even close the door she was on him. Pressing him into it as she kissed him passionately.

"I have wanted to taste you for so long!" she whispered against his lips as he pulled her shirt off. "You have me addicted to you!"

"Oh, little one," Gavin gasped in between her kisses. "You knew you had me!" She was pulling his clothes off him as fast as he was pulling hers off.

"I had a doubt," she smiled against his lips as she took his cock firmly in her hand causing him to gasp. "I thought your absolutes had won out!"

He shook his head at her. His words running through his head as he stared at her.

"May I have him?" she asked with a tilt of her head to his cock that now resided in her hand.

"It appears you already have him," he grinned. "If you were going to ask for permission, it should have been acquired before you pulled him from my pants!"

"Sometimes, it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission!" she laughed as he bit into her neck.

"Suck my cock," he whispered in her ear. She needed no other encouragement as she dropped to her knees and took him wholly in her mouth. She didn't get him all the way in her throat and she was upset by it.

"Not again!" he warned her, the temper tantrum in her eyes that she failed. "That will come with time! Something you have plenty of now, so just please me!" She drug her teeth on his cock causing him to hiss as they caught on his head.

"Yes, Sir," she smiled as she never let him go from her mouth. She worked his cock, her hand pumping his shaft as she watched his face tighten in bliss.

He stopped her head and she glared at him. Erupting in her mouth was what she wanted but he stopped her and pulled his cock out. He could see her anger so he took her by the hair and pulled her head back sharply.

"Make no mistake, little one," he growled at her. "You are my sub, not the other way around. You need to learn that, or this relationship will be very difficult for you!"

"Yes Sir," she whispered at his conviction.

"From this point forward, any disobedience, will be met with correction," he warned her. "From this point forward, you need to beg for my cum."

"Yes, Sir," she said again, swallowing hard.

"Your body," he said as he bit her lip. "Is my playground. I choose what to play with. I choose what to eat. I choose what to fuck!" 

"Yes, Sir," she whispered with what breath she could gather.

"Crawl to the bed," he ordered. She hesitated. "I now owe you twenty." She nodded and began to crawl towards the bed.

"Slowly," he said leaning against the door. She slowed. She looked to the mirror that covered the back of her closet door and saw herself on all fours. She surprised herself with how erotic it looked. 

Her ass in the air slightly. Her muscles flexing in both her legs and her buttocks as she moved them as she went. She realized he was staring at her ass intently. She could see the storm raging. He wanted it. She wanted him to take it. Pain be damned. She wanted him satisfied, and was willing to suffer with the pain for him.

She waited by the bed for her next command. He came and sat behind her, his fingers dancing on the hot skin of her buttocks.

"Put your face on the floor," he commanded. She obeyed. Her breathing coming in short passionate gasps. "Reach your hands out above your head." She obeyed. She felt herself open completely, like a flower to the sun. He let his skilled fingers slide down the crack of her wanted ass. Pausing to circle the hole he wished to have. It was taking all his will power to keep from fucking it. 

He moved on to the space separating her two holes of pleasure. She gasped.

"Under no circumstances are you to move from this position," he warned her.

"Yes, Sir," she whispered. Alex thought of what Lena would say if she walked in and found her like this. Then she laughed inwardly. It wouldn't be the strangest thing either of them had walked in on!

"If Lena walks in, I don't care," Gavin read her, causing her to shake her head. Fucking Jedi master! Her Master now. That made her smile. 

He began to massage her pussy lips, even though it had been five days since he fucked them, they still weren't completely right. But they were right enough! She moaned under his manipulations. He slowly pushed his thumb in her causing her to gasp in reverence.

He thrust it repeatedly in her. Her body began to rock with his insertions. Part because of her, but mostly because of the force he was using on her. Her fingers dug into the carpet on the floor.

"Going to cum for me little one?" he asked her softly.

"If it would please you, Sir," she gasped.

"Immensely!" he responded. She came. Hard! The slurp of her juices told her so. The rest of her body was locked in a numbing convulsion. Her muscles tightened in the ecstasy of her passion. Her face twisted in an opened mouth, silent scream of passion.

When she finally reacquired control of her muscles she almost moved from her position she was told to remain in. Her body becoming limp.

"Good girl," he complimented with a smile.

"Thank you, Sir," she said in between deep breaths. The tingling of his praise made her sigh.

Gavin rubbed her ass with his fingers, again moving to her anus.

"That is yours," she told him from the vulnerable position she was in. Hoping to tempt him into a pleasure she wanted him to take.

"I don't need your permission," Gavin warned her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Gavin laid on her bed.

"Stand," he ordered. She did so immediately but her legs wobbled. He smiled at her awkwardness.

She could not believe the Adonis that was in her bed right now. Never had it been graced by dream or reality by something as splendid as what she had there now.

"I want you to sit on my face," he told her bluntly. "I want to taste you."

She nodded.

"I didn't fucking hear you," he barked.

"Yes, Sir," she quickly answered.

She moved over to him and carefully put her knees on either side of his head. She looked down at him and almost came at the picture her eyes were looking at. This was so fucking hot!

"Put your hands behind your back," he told her and she did without hesitation. "Now you are getting it!" She smiled as he took hold of her hands in the powerful grip of one of his. "I know what will happen if I don't have them secured and I don't have any rope with me at the moment." 

Her head dropped back as he began to lap at her, her breath leaving her in a long deep exhale. She began to slowly grind her crotch to his face. She felt his fingers on her nipples and she looked down at them as they began to squeeze. Gently at first, then harder. They tightened under his pinch. First one, then the other getting them to respond.

She locked up her body as her cum rushed from her, the moan was stifled but she didn't mean it to be. He pulled her to orgasm two more times before spinning her flat on her stomach as he laid his body on top of hers.

She felt him reach between them and guide his manhood into her. He pulled her hair tight to the side so he could watch her face as he invaded her. It was a look he reveled in. Her blissful acceptance.

He nuzzled her ear as she gripped the sheets to keep from touching him. Something that made him smile. She was learning.

"Oh, my God, Sir," she whispered under his thrusts. "Fuck me! Please! Fuck me!"

He growled as he tightened his grip in her hair and increased his hip's speed to slam into her, causing her to grunt under his force. The smile was all he needed to see to know she was getting what she wanted.

Her smiled left as her face reddened, her muscles in her face matched the rest of her body as they stretched moving his powerful frame up as she pressed into him trying to pull him deeper within her. 

She collapsed on the bed, her legs jelly. He didn't stop his onslaught and she was very happy about that! He hooked his left hand under her shoulder as she faced that way. His fingers slowly wrapping around her throat as he pounded his skin against hers. 

Her eyes fluttered open and saw his eyes, they were calm even though he was violently pushing in and out of her with a force that caused the sound of the fucking to fill the room. He was carefully gaging her reaction to his hand around her throat.

"Green," she gasped. He nodded as he let his fingers tighten. Holy fuck! She screamed in her head as the fantasy was coming to fruition. He was fucking her with his hands around her throat! 

He squeezed ever so gently. Never a threat to cut off her air. Just pressure to let her know he was there. Not too much. Not too little. Enough. Her orgasm squirted out of her and all over the bed and her thighs as he straddled the outside of her thighs with his knees. He was impossibly deep within her and she wanted nothing more than to pull him deeper.

With a growl and a tightened hand she watched him cum into her, his lips biting hers and she reveled in the feel of his cock beginning to buck deep within her. Coating a part of her insides that had never been approached before. Chalk up another first to her Dom!

Gavin pulled her tight to him as they interwove their bodies with one another. He pulled a blanket over them. He started to pull out of her but she stopped him by pressing back into him.

"Please, Sir," she begged. "Don't remove him!"

"As you wish," Gavin smiled as he kissed the back of her neck. She nestled deeply within his embrace as she slowly inhaled his scent. She was in heaven, of that there was no doubt! She felt him nuzzle his nose into her mussed hair and inhale. That's what they both wanted most of all, their scent in each other's noses.

As they lay there, her mind cascading off a waterfall of bliss. She kissed his hands as they held hers tucked under her chin. She was deep in the cocoon of his embrace and she never felt so safe.

After listening to their heartbeats slow with one another. Alex let the scene run back through her mind. From the passionate way they tore off one another's clothes, to his hands around her throat, completing that fantasy.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as her mind locked on it.

"For what?" 

"I used a safe word," she gasped. "I know you said we weren't to use them once it became official."

"No," he whispered after some thought. "I want you to continue to use them." She looked back at him confused. He exhaled deeply.

"Look," he semi-smiled. "You bring something out of me that I thought I had beaten. And you do it so easily!" She saw the pain in his eyes. "It is both a great thing," he kissed her nose and she smiled. "It is also a worry for me," he stressed.

"Please explain," she asked him adjusting to look at him fully.

"I left not one, but two unintended marks on you," he said with an embarrassed shake of his head.

"Marks that I am proud of!" she reminded.

"Yes," he frowned. "So you said, but it reminded me that perhaps I need the words from you to keep you safe from my inner animal. I thought that would never be a problem, to have someone bring out my dark self to a point that I lost control. But I want to make sure now, more than ever, that you are completely safe. Use the words."

"I don't need them as I trust you with everything," she said kissing his lips. "But I can see it is troubling you, so for your peace of mind...I will utilize them."

"Thank you," he smiled at her.

"You are perfect," she whispered against his lips.

"You bring it out of me," he whispered back.

Alex fell asleep. She knew she hadn't slept much in five days but she didn't know how exhausted she was until she was asleep. She awoke to find him sitting in the chair in her room behind her drawing table. She watched him for a few moments. Happy he wasn't a dream.

"Just once," she whispered drawing his eyes up. "I want to wake up from a peaceful slumber and find you next to me!"

Gavin held up a couple of her drawings. One of Madelyn, one of a scene of the federal judge getting a spanking.

"You are quite talented!" he praised showing her what he was looking at. "This one of Madelyn is fantastic. I want it."

"It's yours," she smiled, as she tucked her head on her arms and looked at him.

"I mean I want to buy it," he clarified.

"Nothing I have is for sale to you," she said firmly. "So either take it, or leave it. Like me, it already belongs to you and you don't need permission to take it!"

"God damn switch," he exhaled. She laughed.

"And that's something you really like about me!" she pointed out.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It's both a challenge and a blessing. Something you revel in."

"Have you ever had a showing?" Gavin asked her as he came to the bed and slid in next to her. She put her head on his stomach and he gently stroked her back.




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 09



"No," she shook her head. "I sell them from time to time at art fairs, and town flea markets. But if you are talking about a gallery showing, no nothing like that!"

"Do you only draw?" he asked her.

"No," she smiled. "I love to paint as well, but the supplies are very expensive!"

"Well," Gavin smiled. "I know some people in the art world, perhaps I could get you going."

"No," she shook her head. "It's not that big of a deal."

"It is to me," he sighed. The tone was enough. No more arguing.

"I'm not ready to do something like that!" she said thinking of how exciting that would be.

"What do you need?"

"I need supplies," she shrugged. "Frames, brushes, pallets, paints! I need it all!"

"You haven't painted anything?" he asked her tilting her head up.

"Yeah," she nodded to the closet. He started to get up but she hooked his hips. "Ok, I get the hint."

"Like you said," she smiled as she adjusted her head on him. "We have all the time we need!"

Three hours later she allowed him to get up. Stepping out into the hallway headed for the shower she ran into Lena who smiled at her. Alex's face flushed as she knew her roomie had heard their lovemaking.

"It's not even close to the number of times I heard you," Alex warned as she made for bathroom.

"I thought you were going to break my record in just one session!" Lena teased on the number of orgasms she heard.

"Shut it," Alex warned closing the door.

"Just a little jealous that's all!" Lena teased causing Alex to smile happily. 

Coming into the bedroom Gavin had pulled her paintings out of the closet and had them spread out around the room.

"This is magnificent!" he gushed as he held it up. "At first I thought it was a photograph! Then I realized you painted it!"

Alex brushed her hair as he marveled over it.

"Absolutely breathtaking!" he gasped. She looked up to see him looking at her. "The painting is pretty awesome too!" he smiled.

"You like it?" she laughed.

"Let me show this to a friend of mine," Gavin said to her.

"No gallery is going to take an unknown artist!" Alex warned him.

"No, you're right, but with the right influence," Gavin shrugged. "You become known."

She was about to argue but his phone went off. He looked to it and frowned.

"Well, at least it didn't interrupt our sex," Alex smiled letting him know she understood he had to leave.

"Then they would have had to wait!" he smiled as he kissed her lips.

"I'm taking you out tomorrow," he said to her. "Nine?"

"AM or PM?" she smiled wickedly. "Because I want to be with you as much as I can!"

"AM works for me," he smiled kissing her lips. "We need to set up some ground rules."

"So your absolutes did win out," she frowned.

"If my absolutes had won out, I wouldn't be standing here," he said firmly taking her by the chin and looking into her eyes. "I have adjusted it somewhat but there are things we must cover before continuing."

"Yes, Sir," she gasped as she trembled with excitement with the way he was looking at her lips.

"See you then," he kissed her, and she felt her knees weaken. He walked out with the picture in his hands.

Alex leaned against the door and closed her eyes in satisfaction. She was owned. Sorta. She was sure he had a list of things to discuss. He was very thorough but she had a Dom. She wouldn't have to find another. She listened to Gavin talk to Lena briefly before leaving.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 10



Chapter 12* 

Alex walked into the hospital. She didn't know why she was going in to see her but she wanted to check on her anyway. Poking her head into the room she saw Kelly looking out the window. 

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked her. Kelly turned and smiled. She lifted her hand and wobbled it to say she was so-so. Alex showed her the flowers she picked up on the way over and Kelly smiled. Alex set them on a nearby table. 

"Why are you here?" Kelly whispered. Her voice shaking and the pain evident. 

"Just checking on you," Alex said sitting in the chair. 

"Not...necessary," Kelly struggled to whisper. 

"Yeah," Alex frowned. "I bet you are getting a lot of visitors." Kelly shook her head. She held up one finger, then pointed to her. Indicating she had one visitor, her. 

"I would have been here sooner but I was kind of in a holding pattern until recently," Alex explained. 

"You didn't have to come by at all!" Kelly smiled and said with a great deal of difficulty. "You don't even know me!" 

"I know," Alex smiled as she patted her hand. 

"Gavin owns you?" Kelly smiled. 

"Yes," Alex smiled back. She hoped it was the truth. It felt like the truth. She had the opportunity to persuade him if nothing else. 

"Lucky," Kelly said with jealous eyes. 

"I know," Alex shrugged. 

"Will you go back to him?" Alex asked her about Royce. 

Kelly shrugged. Alex shook her head. 

"He almost killed you," Alex said firmly. 

"I'm his sub," Kelly pointed out. 

"No," Alex disagreed. "You are supposed to be treated with respect. He doesn't respect anything you have done." 

"Not that easy," Kelly argued, her voice straining against the pain. 

"It is," Alex told her firmly taking her hand. "You find another Dom." 

"Set me up with Dr. Steward?" Kelly teased. 

"Not a chance," Alex laughed. "I barely know you!" She brought back up in a tease. 

"We are subs," Alex said getting serious. "And that position demands respect...at least that's what Gavin believes." 

Walking out of the hospital Alex stood in front thinking. 

"Alexandria!" the voice caused her to beam her smile. Madelyn was coming out of the hospital. 

"Mistress," Alex said when she was close enough to not draw stares. Alex bowed her head. 

"You are even more stunning in the daylight!" Madelyn gushed. "Where is he?" She asked alluding to Gavin. 

"He was called out," Alex shrugged. "I came to see Kelly." 

"Are you available then?" Madelyn asked as she gently touched Alex's hair. 

"Available?" Alex asked a bit surprised at the question and wondered if it meant something. 

"For dinner," Madelyn laughed catching the tone. "You belong to a Dom, no other Dom will move in on you." 

"I am available to you," Alex smiled. 

"Gavin is in turmoil with you," she smiled. "I like that. He needs it from time to time to grow. We all do!" 

"You have talked to him recently?" Alex asked her. She thought he was banished. 

"I talk to Gavin almost daily, he is like my son," she smiled. 

"I thought you were mad at him," Alex pointed out. 

"Sometimes our children frustrate us," Madelyn shrugged. "But we never stop loving them! Have you had dinner yet?" 

"No," Alex shook her head. 

"How about dinner with me? I know a great place nearby," Madelyn offered. 

"I would love to have dinner with you," Alex smiled. 

The two women gossiped through drinks. Mostly about Gavin, which Alex loved a great deal. She loved learning things about him that he probably wouldn't share on his own. 

"What troubles you?" Madelyn finally asked. 

"I believe Elizabeth brought me on so she could leave," Alex told her. 

"Gavin believes the same," Madelyn smiled with a shrug. "Her loss." 

"I should feel bad that she is leaving, but I can't help thinking that if she stayed, I would be on the outside looking in," Alex said carefully. "Gavin and his absolutes." 

"You are probably correct," the older woman agreed. "Gavin would damn himself for his absolutes." 

"He said he had some things to discuss with me," Alex carefully tested, probing gently. "Any idea what he has on his mind?" 

"I do," Madelyn said but didn't elaborate further and her smile told Alex it was useless to try and glean any information from her. 

"I can see you aren't going to give me much information other than Gavin as a younger man," Alex smiled shaking her head. "But will you answer me one question?" 

Madelyn sat there silently staring at her. Evaluating her. 

"One question," Madelyn conceded. 

"If Elizabeth leaves," Alex began slowly. "Will he claim me fully?" 

Madelyn rolled her eyes. 

"Seriously," Alex pushed. "I have doubts that I'm good enough." 

"Seriously? You are crazy," Madelyn laughed. "No, he will claim you." Alex smiled. That's what she wanted to hear. 

"You don't really think you aren't good enough?" Madelyn asked her. Alex nodded. "You have pushed him to violate an absolute! How can you possibly think that you aren't good enough?" 

"Things like this don't happen to me," Alex shrugged. 

"Get ready," Madelyn smiled holding her hand. "Things are about to happen to you on a regular basis!" The wink caused Alex to bark out a laugh louder than she intended and she covered her lips with her hand and looked around the restaurant. 

Alex waited impatiently around the apartment the next morning. She tried to sketch but couldn't stay focused. She picked up Lena's Kindle and pulled up her latest book to read, she was still on the same author but different book. This one was called "The Goldbriar" and it struck a chord with her. The main character stuck in a world she didn't belong. Alex felt that way at times as she thought about her life. 

She looked at her watch for the fiftieth time and found she basically was looking at it every minute of the hour causing it to go by very slowly. Lena had gone to see her boyfriend so she couldn't even pass the time with her. 

At nine there was a knock at the door. Damn him for being exactly on time! She shook her head. She normally bitched and moaned that her man was late. This one was punctual and she was angered by it. This one she wanted to arrive early! 

"Ready?" he asked her as he drank her in from head to toe. 

"For two hours!" she smiled letting him look and reveling in it. 

"I said nine," he pointed out meeting her eyes. 

"I know," she smiled. "But when a girl is waiting for her man, it's ok when he comes early!" 

"Coming early is a bad thing!" he joked with a wink. She rolled her eyes as he moved to the side to let her come out. 

Opening the car door for her she looked as a couple of women looked on with a tinge of shock at the gentlemanly gesture. Her secret smile came out. She devoured him as he walked around the car. 

"Hungry?" he asked her once he was in the car. 

"Famished," she smiled, turning in her seat a little to face him. 

"Me too," he smiled. 

"I could eat too," she teased. He shook his head at her innuendo. 

She watched him drive, and loved the concentration on his face. 

"You are making it hard to drive," he smiled never taking his eyes off the road. 

"Isn't that my job?" She giggled. "To make it hard?" 

"You are very good at it!" he laughed with her. "Now behave, we have serious things to discuss before you entrance me with you magic." 

"So it's going to be that type of day," she frowned. 

"Wow," Gavin said dryly. 

"What?" she asked looking back at him. 

"It never ceases to amaze me at just how needy kittens can be!" he winked at her. 

"Quit being fantastic!" Alex dared in a scoff to him. 

"Careful," he warned without looking at her. 

"Yes Sir," she nodded. 

"I saw Madelyn yesterday," Alex said after a few moments of maddening silence. She wanted to keep him talking. Not about the serious stuff that was obviously on his mind but she had to hear his voice. She then shook her head. She was needy. She needed his voice. She needed his smile. She desperately needed his touch. 

As if on command his hand came and rested on the inside of her knee and she melted into the expensive leather of the car. Her eyes fluttered closed and she took in a deep breath which brought in his aftershave and that made her wet. Then the thought hit her, was she gaining Jedi powers? Was she a Padawan, a Jedi in training? She smiled and shook her head. 

"Where did you see Madelyn?" he asked her bringing her out of her reverie. 

"At the hospital," Alex smiled as she began to stroke his fingers on her knee. "I went to see Kelly." He nodded. "Is she going to be alright?" 

"Yes," he nodded. "I released her this morning." 

"That's great!" Alex beamed. But it disappeared quickly. "Is she going back to him?" 

"No," he told her looking at her fingers as they brushed softly against his. Normally he wouldn't allow it, but he liked the way her fingers felt on him. "She is staying with Madelyn until she is fully better. Then Madelyn will help her find a new Dom." 

"What about...Royce," Alex was careful to say his name to Gavin as she knew they didn't like one another. 

"Fuck Royce," Gavin growled. He looked to Alex and saw her nodding out the window with a little smile. "He doesn't deserve her." 

"I agree," Alex said without looking at him. 

After placing their order for brunch Gavin waited until the waiter had left them before folding his hands on the table, business like. Alex frowned. She wanted to avoid this conversation. It was weighing on her as she was afraid he was going to tell her she wasn't fully claimed. If he didn't say it, then she could still dream about it. Like living the daydream of the lottery before the numbers are announced. Until you hear the numbers you have a shot. 

"We should get the ground rules out of the way," Gavin sighed, reading her easily. 

"Do we have to?" Alex asked looking away. 

"I think it would be best, that way we have clear expectations," Gavin said firmly. She couldn't tell if he was being firm for her benefit or his. 

"I thought my expectations were clear," Alex said, turning her eyes to him. The fire was stoking and she couldn't stop it. Why wouldn't he just claim her for Christ's sake? Then there wouldn't be a need for ground rules or expectations! They would be implied! There wouldn't be a need for two sets of rules. One for Elizabeth, then another for her. 

"Don't think for one second, that this restaurant will save you from a consequence," Gavin warned her firmly. "I have no problem taking you into the bathroom and correcting your tone." 

Alex swallowed hard and then her secret smile came shortly after. 

"Yes, Sir," she nodded. 

"Better," he smiled. "Look, I just want us to be careful. I don't want anything but pleasure for this relationship. For both of us." 

"I understand," She frowned. "You're right of course, but...," 

"But?" 

"But I want you," Alex said firmly. "I don't want part time. I want full time. I want to be your submissive. I want your ownership!" 

"Have I said anything to suggest that is off the table?" he asked her. 

"Your body language says it all," Alex told him what she was seeing. 

"You really need to explore the Dom side," Gavin smiled as he admired the way she could read him like no other sub had been able to. "You would be excellent at it!" 

"Being a Dom doesn't help me with you," she pointed out firmly. "You aren't a sub, so that part has been decided for me." 

"So you think, based on your limited knowledge, you can make a life-long decision such as that?" he asked her firming up his eyes on her. This surprised her. She didn't think he was thinking long term, but this statement said it obviously entered his mind. 

She looked to the table in thought. 

"Maybe you think it's complicated, but it isn't for me," she said bringing her eyes up. "I have never been with a man like you. I want to see where that road takes me." 

"All the more reason for us to set up the expectations now," Gavin smiled. "So that what we want isn't in question." 

"Ok," she said sitting up straighter. "I want to be your sub. I want to live that life for now and see if it brings me the pleasure I expect. If...IF," she stressed. "I feel it doesn't then I will tell you as soon as I know." 

"That's all I'm asking," Gavin nodded. 

"What do you want then?" Alex asked him. 

"I want your submission," Gavin said firmly. "When you are with me, you are to do what I expect. No questions. No hesitation. You are to give yourself to me fully." 

"I am willing, and eager, as you keep pointing out, to do so," Alex said as firmly. He nodded. 

"The rules for you will be different than they are for my sub," Gavin told her. This caused her heart to flop. He wouldn't call her his sub. That is not going to be good for her. 

"So what will I be?" Alex frowned. 

"You will remain a pet for now," Gavin recognized the disappointment. "You will come and go as you please. When you are with me, you are my sub and will act like it. When you are not with me you are free to do as you please. See who you please. Explore what you need to in order to gain the knowledge you need to make an educated decision." 

"I can date others?" Alex was shocked. This was an absolute. One she was surprised he would waver on. 

"Madelyn was right," Gavin said softly. "If I'm not going to claim you properly then I can't place the same demands on you as I do Elizabeth." 

"What if I don't want another?" Alex asked him. 

"That is your decision," Gavin told her fighting the smile. He did like her response as he didn't want to share her, but rules are rules. He wasn't claiming her fully, so he couldn't stop her from seeing others as he was not monogamous to her as long as he was with Elizabeth, but he hoped she wouldn't see other men. He could tell by the look on her face she saw it. 

"When do we decide?" Alex asked him. "When will you claim me? What time period do we set?" 

"You don't," Gavin said with a shake of his head. "This is something you do by feel. I will decide when to claim you. I, and only I, gets to make that decision. Then you will have to decide to submit to me." 

Alex sat back. She didn't like this one bit. 

"Speak your mind," Gavin encouraged. "Respectfully." He cautioned. 

"I won't live half in, half out," Alex told him. "I'm not that type of person." 

Gavin propped his elbow on the table and nestled his chin in his palm as he stared at her thinking about what she said. 

"Look," she said leaning in to him. "If you are going to violate an absolute, why not the one about owning one sub at a time?" 

"Because I don't believe I can keep both of you happy," Gavin said plainly never taking his chin from his palm. She thought back to the way Elizabeth reacted to his attention to her. From the oral sex in the shower to not opening the door for her on Sunday. While she probably had her own agenda she was Gavin's sub and didn't like the sharing at times. 

"What about Elizabeth?" Alex asked him. 

"I told you, Elizabeth leaving was a foregone conclusion," Gavin sighed. 

"Then, you will only have one sub," Alex pointed out. "Me." 

"Stubborn as a mule," Gavin laughed. Alex lifted her eyebrow at him. "I made a commitment to her. I am a man of my word. I don't say things I don't mean, and I don't make commitments I don't intend to keep. I've committed to her, as she has me." 

"But she is leaving," Alex pointed out. 

"Part of the deal," Gavin shrugged unconcerned. 

"Please explain," she encouraged. 

"The first day we make a commitment to one another, a sub and me, I tell them when they feel they aren't getting what they need, I will know. I have done this with every sub I have owned," he told her. 

"They then come to me and tell me they are leaving, but by then I have already known this. Once I claim a sub, unless something drastic happens, the sub decides to end it. I get to decide to start it, but the sub always...always...decides when to end it." He told her emphatically. 

"I then release them of their vow to me, and they release me of my vow to them," Gavin continued with a deep sigh. "I take these vows very seriously." 

"Have you ever tried to release a sub that didn't want to leave?" Alex asked him. 

"No," he said quickly. "Each time I enter an arrangement, I make sure I know them. I make sure that I can maintain my commitment to them." 

"So why won't you do that with me?" Alex asked a bit hurt. 

"Because," Gavin shook his head. "I can't figure you out." 

"What?" Now she was really confused. He knew her. He could read her like a damn book! 

"Look," Gavin said patiently. "You are a complete novice, I think you are looking for more than a Dom/sub relationship." 

"What am I looking for then?" Alex asked sharply, her temper percolating. 

"A husband," Gavin said his eyes firming up. He wasn't used to being talked to this way and it was becoming a challenge to keep himself in check. Alex looked away as the truth slapped at her. "Point made?" 

"No," Alex growled defiantly. "So you aren't looking for a wife?" 

"I'm not marriage material," Gavin assured her his teeth grinding. 

"Is this another absolute?" she asked him sarcastically. 

"Why are you getting upset?" he asked. 

"Because I don't like the fact you won't admit your feelings," Alex said harshly her temper rising and bubbling out causing her voice to rise to above the din of the restaurant. "What happened that you won't let anyone that close?" 

The table grew cold as Gavin leveled her with his eyes. She sat back and was afraid she had screwed up her shot with him. 

"I've made my offer," Gavin said coolly. "Take it or leave it." 

"Ouch," Alex warned him. 

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Gavin asked her exasperated. 

"Why can't you just claim me, if you are so sure she is leaving?" Alex turned on him. 

"Because I gave her my vow," he said with a deep, exhausted sigh. "Would you want me to go back on my vow if it was you?" 

Alex looked to the table embarrassed. No she wouldn't, but she also knew it didn't need to be said. 

"I promise you, here and now, once Elizabeth makes her decision to leave, and it's her decision, I will claim you," Gavin said taking her hand. "You and only you, by that time, I hope you have fully formed a knowledge based decision. Not an emotional one." 

"What's so wrong with an emotional decision?" Alex asked him with a nod that she understood his stand. 

"It can override the brain, the heart is flawed, it can make you do things that aren't good for you," Gavin told her without a doubt in his words. 

"It can do wondrous things as well," Alex pointed out to him. "Keep that in mind! Your brain is also flawed, it can make decisions that aren't good too!" 

Gavin nodded as he pulled her hand to his lips. 

"Agreed," he laughed to her hand. 

"So we leave things as they are for now," Alex summed up. "You won't go back to your original absolutes, will you?" 

"Like?" 

"Only playing with pets, only fucking your sub," Alex said softly. Hoping he would continue to fuck her. 

"I think we are beyond that...aren't we?" Gavin laughed. "You destroyed that absolute!" 

"Agreed," she snickered. "But you didn't fight all that hard." 

"Trust me," Gavin said losing his smile slightly. "I fought as hard as I could...you just made that impossible. I had to have you. I had to touch you. I had to taste you fully and that's the part I'm afraid of!" 

"What part?" she asked. 

"The part that I can't control," he smiled. "I can't control the feelings I have for you!" 

"I'd apologize, but again, it wouldn't be sincere!" 

"So we are agreed then?" Gavin asked her. "We continue like last weekend, with the exception that I will fuck you?" 

"Agreed," Alex said. It wasn't exactly what she wanted, but it was what he was willing to give her and she couldn't push him or she would push him away. That much she knew for certain. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 10



"Are you agreeing to my conditions?" Gavin asked her. 

"I am," she nodded. 

"Say it out loud," he said firmly. "Be careful...commitment." 

"I will be your sub when I'm with you," she said firmly. "I can come and go as I please but when I'm with you, I will submit completely." 

"And I commit to you," Gavin said. "I will protect and provide for you and I will guide you to making an informed decision when the time comes." 

"Agreed," She smiled. 

"Good," Gavin smiled as the food arrived. "I'm taking you shopping." 

"I don't need to go shopping," Alex shook her head with a laugh. When he didn't respond she looked up from her food. The sharp anger in his eyes caused her to swallow hard. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"Not enough, evidently," he said getting up. He had tolerated it for long enough. Time to push her a bit he decided. "Wait two minutes, then come to the men's restroom. I won't put up with it for one second longer." He briskly walked away before she could protest. 

At exactly two minutes she got up from the table and made her way to the restrooms. She looked up and down the hallway, but right before she was about to go in a waiter came out from the kitchen area. 

"Can I help you miss?" he asked her as she looked to the door. 

"Sorry I'm a space cadet," she laughed embarrassedly. She went to the women's door and was about to enter when the waiter disappeared around the corner. She went back to the door and with one last look entered the men's restroom apprehensively. 

Gavin leaned against the wall waiting. 

"You're late," he admonished. 

He didn't let her respond before moving to the handicapped stall and opened the door. With a wave of his arm he ordered her in. She entered the large stall. The smell of disinfectant told her the bathroom was at least clean. Thankfully. She turned to face him but kept her eyes low. He pulled on her chin to lift her eyes to his. 

"I said when you are with me, you are to act like my sub," he reminded. "That includes your tone. You then committed to me fully. That's a vow. I take vows very seriously, it's time you figure that out." 

"Yes...Sir," she whispered. 

"Grab hold of the top of the door," Gavin nodded with his head to the stall door. She obeyed immediately. "In the future, you are to wear only dresses around me." He said undoing her pants. 

"I will not have my property hampered with clothing," he told her as he pushed them down revealing her ass to him. He stroked her bare ass. A surge of excitement overwhelmed her. How could he not consider this an act of claiming her? She wouldn't point it out now. She was in enough trouble she decided. 

"Yes, Sir," she whispered as she put her forehead on the cool metal door. 

"I owe you thirty," he said to her. 

"Thirty?" she questioned. 

"Twenty for hesitation, if you remember, ten for today," Gavin said into her ear as he moved his body close to hers. "And don't question me." 

"Yes, Sir," she fought her secret smile. Her body began to tingle with excitement. Yeah there was no going back to the vanilla world after things like this! 

"Thirty," she repeated in an excited whisper. 

"Do you want them all now, or in stages?" he asked her. She thought on it, then smiled. 

"All now sir," she smiled. "I'm sure I'm going to be naughty later!" 

"That I have no doubt!" he smiled with her. "As you wish." 

"Shall I count?" she asked him. 

"Always," he confirmed. With that he struck his palm to her ever warming flesh. The sound of the swat on her behind filled the bathroom with an echo. 

"One," she whispered. He brought his hand down again. 

"Two," she whispered, her voice becoming strained with excitement from, what was becoming evident to her, a wanted spanking. 

"Three," she pressed her face to the door now trying to cool her burgeoning desire. She began to realize she had never been in a men's restroom, now she was getting spanked in a men's restroom. That was making her very horny! 

"Four," she whispered on the next strike. 

"Five," 

"Six," 

"Seven," her ass began to burn hotly. Her body began to yearn for more. More of Gavin. More of this life. More of his hand on her bottom. 

"Eight," she hissed as she gripped the door tighter, her knuckles whitening under their pressure. 

"Nine," she gritted. 

"Ten," she gasped as her body began to warm up more than her bottom. Gavin gently rubbed her backside admiring his work. She looked over her shoulder at him. 

"Thank you, Sir," she smiled. He let his fingers follow her rounded cheek to her sex which he found wet. 

"Hmm," he smiled in her ear. "Seems this might not be the deterrent I need it to be." 

"No," she said. "It is. I like it, yes, but I don't like displeasing you!" He brought his hand down to her backside. 

"Eleven," she hissed. The door opened to the restroom and she fought the urge to remove her hands to keep them from being discovered. 

While Gavin waited for the man to leave the bathroom he slipped a finger in her causing her to gasp. He pushed it deeper within her, causing her to shudder with excitement. Alex kept her lips tightly clamped shut to keep her from crying out in pleasure. She listened to the unknown man whistle happily as he used the urinal, then flush it. Finally he washed his hands. Slowly the dryer came on as the man kept has hands under it. 

Alex looked through the crack in the door and saw a man in his early sixties. He looked to the door on occasion and shook his head. She realized she had done her nails that morning in an attempt to pass the time. They were fire engine red and they matched her shirt. Her fingers were on the outside of the door and the man had to know a woman was in the stall. 

She fought the laugh as she figured what he was thinking. That a woman was bent over getting it. Not in the way she figured he imagined, but she was getting it. Gavin was bringing her closer to orgasm with his fingers and the man was taking his time. He tilted his head to look under the door. Could he see four feet under it? Could he see her pants around her ankles? Her thong panties? That was turning her on! 

The man smiled appreciatively as he shook his head as he made for the door, he exited just in time for her orgasm to hit and she gasped at Gavin's fingering. 

"One," she whispered alluding to her orgasm. 

Gavin brought his hand back to her bottom. 

"Twelve," she said as he continued her consequence. The pleasure of her orgasm, mixed with the sharp pain of her consequence. 

"Thirteen," she jumped at the next one. Her bottom was getting very tender now. Gavin came up alongside of her. 

"Fourteen!" she barked out. She winced and furrowed her brow. He nodded, she didn't need to say anything and she knew it by the nod. 

"Fifteen," she called out on her next swat. He was watching her carefully now. She tried to turn from him but he pulled her face back to him. She wanted to reach the goal of thirty. Now she didn't know if she could. She wouldn't stop him, but he would stop himself if she broke. If she turned from him maybe she could keep it from happening. 

"Sixteen," she called out. 

"Seventeen," she whimpered. Now it was straining her voice to keep it from erupting. 

"Eighteen," 

"Nineteen," the tear snuck out. 

"Yellow?" he asked her. She looked to him and wanted to say yes. Instead she shook her head. He smiled. He brought his hand down and the smack filled the room and she raised on her toes. 

"Liar," he shook his head. "Communication is very important. It's more important than the sex." She nodded. 

"Yellow," she whispered. It sounded like she was admitting defeat, crying uncle. Something that did not please her. 

"Don't be upset," he smiled as he nuzzled her ear. 

"I failed," she whispered as she pressed her hot face to the coolness of the door. 

"How?" 

"I didn't complete the task," she said shifting her eyes to look at him. 

"I would have been amazed if you did," he smiled. The look on her face told him she didn't understand. 

"You can't go from never being spanked to being spanked to thirty," he smiled as he brushed his lips down her neck tenderly. "Even if you like it." She huffed out a laugh. "Boundaries...and a tad more. Never forget that. This is a lifestyle you ease into. I won't ever ask you to go farther than you are capable. I will push your comfort level, but I will never take you where you don't want to go. Together, hand in hand, is the only way." 

"Thank you Sir," she kissed him. 

"You are so magnificent," he began nibbling on her. 

"You bring it out of me," she smiled using his words against him. 

"That's what this life should be," he smiled. "Bringing out the best of each other." 

"Can I bring something else out of you now?" she smiled wickedly. 

"Hmm," he smiled softly at her forwardness. "Would that please you?" 

"Only if it would please you," she whispered. 

"It would...immensely!" He said into the nape of her neck causing her body to wash with a flood of goosebumps causing her body to shiver involuntarily. 

She spun on him, leaving her pants around her ankles, she dropped to her knees there in the stall. She pulled down his zipper slowly as she looked up into his eyes, her lip under her teeth as she peered up naughtily. Reaching in gently, she pulled his hardening cock out. She pulled on it a couple of times. A droplet of thin clear liquid appeared at the slit. 

"For me?" she whispered as she looked up at him and let her tongue slide under the head of his heavy cock. She felt it flex in her hand as she trailed up the bottom of his shaft and around the head before tonguing the slit pulling the precum from his cock with a contented smile. 

Leaving her eyes up at him as he stared down into her blues. She lowered her mouth slowly down his shaft. He drank in the beauty of the sight of her taking him in her mouth. The way her red lips looked on his shaft. Slowly, maddeningly, dropping down his hard cock until she hit her gag reflex. She concentrated. She went back to her lesson in the shower. 

Breathing in and out of her nose, she relaxed her throat as much as she could. She pretended to swallow pills as Elizabeth had instructed. More of his cock disappeared. Her hands gripping the outside of his silk suit pants. Her eyes began to water but she refused to release him from her mouth. Her face reddened as she struggled. 

Suddenly she let go of his beautiful cock, coming off with a gasp and a deep sucking of breath. She smiled up at him proud of herself. Not quite all, but more than she did on her own before. She swirled her tongue around his cock, pulling her saliva off in a thin string dangling from the head of his cock to her tongue. 

She moved to the underside of his cock and suckled his balls. First one, then the other. Licking her way from there, up the underside of his shaft before engulfing him in her mouth hungrily, causing him to gasp and drop his head back. 

She fisted his cock with a tight hand and watched him enjoy her warm, wet mouth. She bobbed furiously for a few seconds then pulled off, tugging gently as she swallowed and prepared for another attempt to take him fully down her throat. 

She looked around for a second and that's when it hit her. She was sucking a guy off in the men's restroom of a restaurant! How many women could say that? With no alcohol in involved? She came willingly, wantonly. First an erotic discipline, now she was kneeling on the cold tile floor where men could come in at any time and one had already. She didn't know she was this kinky! Or slutty! The things she was learning about herself made her head spin. 

If someone would have told her that they had dropped to their knees in a men's bathroom to suck off a man they met a week ago, she would have thought...SLUT! Now here she was, doing exactly that! She didn't feel like a slut. She felt empowered. Free. She looked up at him to see him watching her. 

"What?" he asked her. 

"I'm sucking your cock in a men's restroom," she smiled. 

"And?" 

"Does that make me a slut?" She asked him. His eyes hardened. 

"Absolutely not!" he said firmly. "It means you are adventurous! Don't let society's bullshit Puritanism plague you. That's their hang up, not ours. Our world is all about pleasures with no holding back. Just because they deny themselves the desires because of some bullshit fear of being judged doesn't mean we have to live that way!" 

"Yes Sir," she smiled. 

"I will have words with anyone who addresses you in such a fashion," he warned her. 

"But I am a slut...I'm your slut," she smiled letting him know she liked what she was doing. 

"You are a beautiful lady," he said firmly. "Who likes sex." 

She slowly lowered herself down his shaft again. Watching him the entire time, reaching her gag point she again did as instructed, this time she felt him slip into her throat and her nose nestled into his manicured pubes held behind the softness of his expensive suit pants and she wanted to stay there so she kept herself from dancing the happy dance. She saw the look of admiration in his eyes. 

"Good girl," he whispered. "You are such a good girl!" He praised her with words most would find demeaning. She did not! She strived to hear those words. Words she wanted only from him. 

She pulled off his cock quickly after holding him as long as she could. The smile of accomplishment couldn't be sanded off her face. She looked at his purplish head with the smile of a conqueror. She had throated Gavin! 

She had to see if she could do it again. She took him into her mouth and dropped quickly down his shaft. She was eager. Too eager, as her gag reflexed kicked in and forced her off coughing. 

"Slow down girl!" she said to herself. He let her go. Just watching and enjoying her. She looked up and saw him staring with his secret smile. "I love that smile, Sir." 

"I love the way you won't quit!" he marveled. She took him back into her mouth, slowly moving down, this time she forced herself to maintain her technique and she was nestled neatly in his pubes again. 

The door to the bathroom opened but they didn't move. She held him there but jumped when the door to the stall they were in was pulled on. The lock kept whoever it was from discovering her in one of the most compromising positions she could think of. Pants around her ankles, a cock deeply lodged in her throat, her pussy moist with excitement. Her ass still undoubtedly reddened from twenty strikes from her Dom's strong hands. In that vulnerable moment the only thought she had was, how does she sketch this tomorrow? 

"Occupied," Gavin said hoarsely. The pleasure of the moment catching his voice in his throat. 

She pulled off slowly causing him sigh. Hearing the man in the next stall made her smile at the exquisite naughtiness of what they were doing. She had never even dreamed of doing this before. 

She pulled on him bringing her small hand to the head of his shaft, she sucked him softly. Trying to be as quiet as she could but still working him. The man in the next stall finished his business and left the bathroom. 

"How rude," she teased. "He didn't wash his hands!" She giggled. 

"I didn't notice...I was thinking about other things!" Gavin teased. 

"I should hope so," she smiled as she ravenously went after him. She pulled and sucked. Sucked and pulled. She felt his thighs begin to tighten under the soft feel of his pants. They trembled slightly. 

"Are you going to cum for me, Sir?" she asked him wickedly while he was still in her mouth, forcing the words around his cock. 

"I am," he gritted. "Undo the buttons on your shirt! I don't want it to get messy!" 

Her fingers fumbled with the buttons as he fisted his own cock. She dropped the shirt to the back of her folded legs as she knelt in the submissive position. Her hands resting on her thighs. Palms up, accepting. 

He stared into her eyes as she opened her mouth and let her tongue come out waiting for his load. 

"Holy shit," he grunted with a smile as his cum erupted from his cock head. 

The first blast hit her tongue and splashed. She felt it splatter slightly on her face. The second shot hit her throat as he aimed expertly into her mouth. His smile went from pleasured, to one of wicked desire. He pulled back and shot the last remaining cum on her chest and its hot stickiness slid down into her bra cups. It also stuck to her cleavage. 

He finished but she took hold of him and swallowed his cock to the base causing his body to convulse at the ultra-sensitive feel of his recently ejaculated cock. She reveled in his convulsions knowing just how pleasurable that feel was. It was a painful sweetness comparable to nothing else that could be imagined. 

Slowly she pulled back causing him to hiss in pleasure. She looked down at his hot cum as it slowly slid down into the valley of her breasts. She thought about how to clean up. 

"Leave it," he warned her as she looked to the toilet paper. "I want you to wear it today." She looked up into the firmness of his eyes. 

"As you wish," she smiled. 

She looked down at his hot cum as it felt sticky between her breasts. She smeared the glob across her chest. She couldn't believe she did that. Or she would do that! Then again, she couldn't believe she was kneeling on the bathroom floor of a men's room in an expensive restaurant in the submissive pose either. 

She finished cleaning his now softening cock before reluctantly putting it away with a gentle kiss. 

"For now," she smiled up at him. 

She took his hand and he helped her up. He kissed her passionately and her knees went weak and she almost went back down with the power of his kiss. She pulled her shirt over her but he pushed her hands away and buttoned her up himself. He then bent at the waist and pulled her pants up for her. She shimmied into the tight fitting garment. 

"You look magnificent in my cum," he grinned as he kissed her. She tucked her shirt in then buttoned her pants. 

"Thank you, Sir," she smiled. 

Gavin left first, checking to make sure it was clear so she could leave without being seen. Joining him at the table he pulled the chair out for her. She sat down gingerly as her ass tingled from her spanking. She now knew what Elizabeth had felt that very first night as she watched Gavin play with her. It was uncomfortable, but erotic knowing why they burned. 

She scanned the restaurant and found the older man from the bathroom. He locked eyes on her and he let a smile come out as she flushed. He must have put two and two together. It wouldn't take Sherlock Holmes. A couple coming back to a table at the same time? Her bright red fingernail polish didn't help. 

She scanned and tried to discern who the other man was. There were several there now, and some were new to arrive after they had disappeared to the restroom for her discipline. It could have been any of them! That made her tingle with excitement.  

She looked at him and he was smiling at her. 

"Trying to figure out who didn't wash his hands?" he teased. She laughed and nodded. 

"How many times have you done something like that?" she asked him as he took a bite of his food. 

"Honestly?" he laughed. "That was a first." 

"You're shitting me!" she gasped. 

"No," he smiled at her stunned surprise. "It's not something any of my other subs needed." 

She shook her head. That's right, this space alien tailor made his fucks for his subs. She just didn't know how he knew that she needed that boundary pushed. 

"That's right," he smiled. "I know." 

Damn Jedi master.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 11



Chapter 13* 

Gavin opened the door for Alex to his apartment, she wasn't three feet in the door before Elizabeth engulfed her in a massive hug then leaned in and kissed her. Full on. Tongue and all, like she was some sort of long lost boyfriend. 

"Missed you too," Alex smiled breathlessly when Elizabeth pulled from her lips. 

"I'm so happy to see you back!" Elizabeth gushed, guiding her towards the living room. "Don't worry, we will get him to let you live here regardless of what he wants." 

"Wait," Alex spun. "I'm not going to stay here?" She instantly began to wonder, how was that going to work? How could she be his sub if she wasn't here to serve him? 

Gavin exhaled and growled. 

"Let's take this one step at a time," he said closing his eyes. "Right now, you should stay with Lena, what would she do without you?" 

Alex dropped her head guiltily at the tone. He was right. She couldn't leave Lena in a lurch. 

"As I said before, you can come and go as you please," he smiled at her, reading her easily. "Stay when you want, go back to your apartment when you want." Alex nodded and tried her best to keep from frowning. None of this was the fantasy she had in her head. 

The three of them made dinner together. Moving around the kitchen, drinking wine as they did so. Alex would glance over at Gavin from time to time and he would wink at her. As she carried the salad bowl out towards the table she leaned into his ear. 

"My bottom is still a bit sore," she whispered. 

"So you don't want your other ten?" he teased. She looked back over her shoulder with a sly smile. She nodded with an arched brow. The mere mention of the rest of her discipline made her knees weak with excitement. 

They ate quietly. It felt more like a family meal than a threesome dinner. A Dom, his sub and their pet. Alex didn't mind the sound of that too much. She would shift in her seat from time to time. Her ass was still tingling. 

"So what did you guys do all day?" Elizabeth asked. 

"Gavin took me shopping," Alex frowned with an exasperated roll of her eyes. 

"You make it sound like it was horrific!" Elizabeth laughed as she took a sip of her wine. "It's something you better get used to, as a sub, you have to give him whatever pleases him." 

"I understand that," Alex nodded. "I'm just trying to figure out how taking me shopping pleases him." She looked to Gavin for explanation but he just smiled at her. 

"He likes spoiling us," Elizabeth said for him, giving him an approving smile. "It's what separates him from the others. Any guy can fuck, but only the few bring pleasure with the little things that we like. It's also a reward for being a good sub. The little things. Taking care of us is very important to Sir." 

"It took me awhile to figure it out as well," Elizabeth continued as Gavin shook his head. The phone ringing gave him a good excuse to get up and leave. "See, Gavin tries to separate himself. He is a gentleman to a fault. I love that! He may be the Dom, and we the subs, but he spoils us like we are princesses!" 

"Like the car doors?" Alex asked her while she watched Gavin talk on the phone in the living room. She hoped he wasn't being called away. Then again, he wasn't on his cell, this was his apartment phone. It's the cell that usually required him to leave. 

"Exactly!" Elizabeth gushed with a happy laugh. "How many guys have ever opened the door for you?" 

"None before Gavin," Alex agreed unable to take her eyes off the man igniting her desires. 

"It's the little things that makes Gavin stand out," Elizabeth raved. "I mean, I've had bigger guys," she whispered to Alex with a smile. "Not that Gavin isn't big, but he isn't huge!" 

"You mean like Horse Cock?" Alex coughed at the bluntness of the conversation. 

"Oh my God! Did you see him?" Elizabeth squealed. "I was hoping you would!" 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "Mascot head and all." 

"Yeah, isn't that ridiculous? But that's probably because he is butt ugly!" Elizabeth told her with a bright smile. "But with that cock, he could be a star!" 

"Tempted?" Alex asked her. 

"Not in the least!" Elizabeth assured her. "I mean I'm into pain but that ain't right!" 

Alex and Elizabeth laughed like lifelong friends at a weekly lunch date. 

"No, I would never let him touch me, nor do I have any desire to touch him! Not even if you paid me to!" Elizabeth said resolutely. 

Gavin had a very animated conversation but Alex could tell by the way he bent at the waist laughing, it was a very good phone call. His laughter brought her eyes to him as Elizabeth continued on. The normally reserved Gavin, let his guard down and became a boisterous little boy in the living room. 

"Must be Pavel," Elizabeth told her watching him. 

"Pavel?" Alex asked smiling at his behavior. 

"Med school buddy," Elizabeth frowned unhappily. "He must be coming to town. He only calls when he does." 

Gavin hung up and came back with a beaming smile. 

"Sorry, ladies," he said sitting down but unable to shake the smile or his red face from his laughter. 

"Pavel?" Elizabeth asked. 

"Yeah, he will be in town tomorrow night," Gavin grinned happily. 

"Who's Pavel?" Alex asked him. 

"Trouble," Elizabeth frowned. 

"He is not!" Gavin defended. 

"No?" Elizabeth cocked her head. "How many times have you been arrested that didn't include Pavel?" 

"What!" Alex gasped in disbelief. She went back to when Gavin said he was much too controlled for anything crazy. 

"Stop!" Gavin warned her. "One time." He smiled looking at Alex who couldn't stop smiling in disbelief. 

"We were at a protest rally," Gavin explained. "In med school, we were protesting about the lack of U.S. involvement in African civil war." 

"Keep going," Elizabeth coerced. 

"Pavel, threw a rock, broke the window of a big banking firm, the police got a little rough in arresting him. I stepped in...it went south from there," Gavin grinned. 

"Went south from there?" Alex gasped. Getting arrested was as far south as she was willing to go. 

"Yeah, we both got pretty roughed up, pepper spray was involved," Gavin shook his head remembering the burning in his eyes. 

"About got bounced out of med school if I remember the story right," Elizabeth pointed out. Alex was stunned. 

"Yeah," Gavin shrugged. "The Dean wasn't too happy with us." 

"Good thing his dad had diplomatic immunity," Elizabeth told Alex. 

"Dad was a diplomat at the U.N.," Gavin told her. "He had to fly in to bail us out." 

"I would have never guessed you would have run afoul of the law!" Alex reveled in the story. "How do you know all this?" Alex asked Elizabeth as she knew they had not been together in med school. 

"Pavel has a big mouth!" Gavin sighed. 

"He was here right after we got together," Elizabeth explained with disdain. "Well, tell him hello as I will be out of town." Gavin nodded as he took a bite of his food with a smile. Alex watched the anger in Elizabeth's face. She didn't like Pavel. Alex wondered why. 

"Where are you going?" Alex asked her. 

"Work," Elizabeth smiled. 

"What do you do?" 

"I work for an environmental lobby," Elizabeth said proudly. "I'm flying to New Orleans in the morning to get an update on the ongoing effort of the BP Horizon spill." 

"I thought that was all done?" Alex asked her. 

"It will never be done," Elizabeth frowned. "What happened down there was an ecological disaster! It will take the better part of a century to fully gage all the damage." 

"So what was California?" Alex asked her. 

"That was a conference on Global Warming and the effect on the drought conditions in Cali," Elizabeth shrugged. 

"Alex," Gavin frowned. "Would you like to go out with us tomorrow night?" 

"You probably should...they may need more bail money!" Elizabeth teased. 

"I would love to," Alex smiled. She was excited to see a boisterous side of Gavin. A loose, uncontrolled side. "But if you want to see him alone...," 

"No," Gavin shook his head. "Elizabeth is right, I need a chaperone. If nothing else just to keep me in line!" The caused Alex to laugh with him. 

"What should I wear?" she asked him. 

"Surprise me," Gavin winked at her. 

They continued to eat and Alex began planning her wardrobe. She then tilted her head at him. 

"What?" he asked her. 

"Why is it you don't talk to him very much?" Alex asked. It would seem to her that if he was a close friend he would talk to him more. 

"Pavel works with Doctors without Borders," Gavin shrugged. "Most of the time he is in Africa hundreds of miles from the phone." 

"OH!" Alex admired. She loved people who could do things noble like that. It didn't sound like Pavel was that much trouble. 

After clearing the table Alex loaded the dishwasher as Gavin put the left overs up. She smacked his back side as he was bent over. He turned and smiled at her and went slowly to her. 

"Sorry," she smiled. "Couldn't resist the payback!" 

"I understand," he grinned as he kissed her lips. "Do you need to go back right away?" 

"I'm yours to command, even with all your restrictions and rules," she grinned letting him know she was kidding. 

"Come with me," he whispered. "I want to play." 

He took her by the hand and led her from the kitchen. Elizabeth smiled as she led the way. Alex went back to the first night. Her body began to react immediately as the feelings and memories flooded in. 

Alex dropped his hand as soon as she entered the room, she undid her red shirt and dropped it to the floor, following the rule he set for her about being naked in the bedroom. Elizabeth took her clothes off as well, soon they were both in their underwear as Gavin watched from the chair. 

"What's this?" Elizabeth asked with a smile coming to Alex and flicking some of Gavin's dried cum off her breast. 

"Gavin was...disciplining me for my reckless mouth," Alex smiled looking at him. 

"Not fair!" Elizabeth grinned. "What shall we do with our beautiful pet, Sir?" 

"I was thinking of tying her to the bed," Gavin said from the chair. Alex bit her lip as she thought about that. 

"I love that idea!" Elizabeth smiled as she pushed Alex's panties down. "If I can't wear undies, neither can you!" 

"Do you not like panties?" Alex asked Gavin. She never thought about it until just now. Elizabeth wasn't allowed to wear panties but Gavin bought her several pairs today. 

"I love panties," Gavin smiled. "Elizabeth needed a boundary pushed, so I don't let her wear them." 

"Remember, it's about boundaries, pushing you beyond your comfort zone," Gavin said standing up. "Elizabeth had this thing that she had to wear panties, and they were always this hideous awful granny panties! I had to save her from herself!" Gavin teased. 

"And now?" Alex asked as he undid her bra, while brushing his warm lips over the skin on the side of her neck. 

"Just exerting my Dominance," Gavin explained. Alex closed her eyes as both Gavin and Elizabeth had their hands on her. It was totally mind blowing to have four hands on her, on her breasts, on her stomach, her thighs. Her tender ass, and her sex. It seemed they were all over her and her body reacted. 

"Go to the middle of the bed," Gavin whispered in her ear. She nodded. He took her by the hair. 

"Yes, Sir," she said immediately. 

"That is getting tiresome," he warned her. 

"Yes, Sir," she said again. 

She went to the bed and laid down on her back. Elizabeth came over and ran her fingers around Alex's nipples causing them to stand on end. 

"She has very responsive nipples!" Elizabeth gushed. 

"You thinking some wax?" Gavin asked her turning with the rope in his hands. Alex looked to Elizabeth and waited. She was a pet, she didn't know if she could argue or disagree with the sub. 

"I am," she smiled down as she kissed Alex again. 

"Well," Gavin said coming to the bed. "Perhaps we should show her first, being a novice we shouldn't rush her." 

"True," Elizabeth frowned. "Let's show her and then let her decide!" 

"Wax?" Alex asked her. 

"On your nipples," Elizabeth smiled as she moved to lay next to her. "It makes them super sensitive!" 

"Will it hurt?" Alex asked her. 

"Yes," she nodded. "But then every sensation after that will be amplified by a factor of ten!" 

Alex looked to Gavin, he already had the candle out. 

"Don't worry," he smiled seeing her apprehension. "This is kind of advanced stuff, you don't have to do it tonight. I will show you on Elizabeth, then we will drop some on your hand. It won't be as sensitive as your nipples but it will give you an idea." 

Alex nodded, for the first time in this relationship she had a serious doubt. 

"Relax," Gavin said again. "I won't take you any farther than you are capable." She nodded but this was something she had never even considered. When she saw it on the internet she immediately flipped the picture, uninterested on the perceived pain involved. 

Elizabeth laid back and smiled at her. 

"It's fine," she smiled as Alex sat up and watched intently. 

Gavin tilted the candle letting the wax puddle at the top. He looked to Alex first and saw the apprehension in her eyes. He contemplated continuing. This wasn't for her he thought. Then he decided to show her and let her make an educated decision. 

Coming to Elizabeth he sat next to her on the bed. Gavin dropped his head and took Elizabeth's nipple in his mouth and let his tongue swirl around it bringing it to hard. 

"Help me," Gavin said to Alex as he licked the tip. Alex smiled and leaned down and took Elizabeth's other nipple in her mouth and they looked into each other's eyes as they suckled on the raven haired beauty. Her milky white skin and soft pink nipples darkening as the blood rushed to them. 

Alex sat back when Gavin did. 

"Ready?" he smiled at Elizabeth. Elizabeth smiled and looked to Alex. 

"Absolutely," she said. Gavin leaned over her and Alex stroked her dark hair as she watched Gavin's concentration. 

Slowly he tilted the candle as it hovered over her. Alex furrowed her brow as her eyes darted from the candle to Elizabeth. Back and forth they went as she waited for the wax to fall. A large drop fell and struck just to the side of her nipple causing her body to convulse. Gavin moved the candle slightly and the next drop fell directly on the nipple causing her to bite her lip and suck in a deep, quick breath. 

Alex looked to her face and saw the pain register, then the smile come out. Alex looked back to the wax covered nipple to see it whiten and crust over as it cooled almost immediately. Alex let a smile of approval come to her face. She was mesmerized by the actual act. The pictures on the internet didn't do it quite the service it deserved. 

Gavin moved the candle to the other nipple, gently tapping the candlestick, another droplet fell onto the other nipple. Again Elizabeth flinched but smiled. The wax crusted almost immediately. 

Gavin moved back to the other nipple letting the wax drip off again, Alex was amazed that he seemed to be able to get the wax exactly where he was aiming. He set the candle in the holder on the nightstand next to the bed. 

Gavin winked at Elizabeth with his secret smile. 

"Thank you, Sir," Elizabeth smiled back. 

Gavin slowly peeled the wax from her nipple and then dropped his tongue to cause her eyes to flutter closed at the heightened sensitivity. He left dragging his teeth pulling on her nipple as he sat up. 

Elizabeth's eyes sparkled their approval at him. 

"Ok Alexandria," Gavin said to her with a nod to the other nipple. Alex carefully peeled the wax off. The first thing she noticed was the wax was already cold. She expected it to be hot but it wasn't after only a few seconds. She peeled it off and set it aside. She saw that the nipple was very tight after the wax was removed. 

She lowered her head down and watched through the top of her eyes as her tongue flicked at Elizabeth's nipple watching her pleasured reaction. Alex got excited. She never had seen this in action. The pictures looked painful so she dismissed them, they also seemed to have huge puddles all over the women's bodies. 

"You aren't going to put more on?" Alex asked him. 

"There is no need," Gavin assured her. "We are only trying to heighten the sensitivity, not burn the witch!" He joked with her. 

"Heeeyyy," Elizabeth smiled at the teasing. Alex looked to her with an eye of admiration. "You should try it Alexandria!" 

"What does it feel like?" Alex asked her, the excitement in her voice obvious. 

"The sharp pain lasts like a millisecond," Elizabeth explained. "Then you feel nothing until the tongue and...oh my God, it's super sensitive!" 

Gavin looked to her, Alex smiled. 

"What do you think?" he asked her. Alex looked down at Elizabeth and she nodded encouragingly at her. 

"I want an informed decision," Alex finally said. "I don't want fear to dictate me." Gavin reached out and cupped her chin. 

"It doesn't have to be tonight," he smiled at her. 

"I know," she smiled at his tenderness. "I want to." Gavin nodded and Elizabeth sat up gently touching her own nipples with a smile. 

Gavin picked up the candle as Alex swapped spots with Elizabeth and Elizabeth hovered over her. Alex took her nipple in her mouth causing Elizabeth to close her eyes and smile at the soft manipulations of Alex's tongue. Elizabeth pulled Alex's head tighter to her, gasping as Alex used her teeth and watched the reactions of the stunning goddess. She was emboldened by the reactions Elizabeth gave. 

Alex switched to the other nipple to give it equal attention. She marveled at the reaction. She pulled back and looked to Gavin as he watched on with his secret smile. 

"Are you ready?" he asked her. 

"Yes Sir," she smiled as she looked deeply in his reassuring eyes. 

"Let's do your hand first," Gavin told her. "It's not as sensitive but you will get an inkling of what it will be like, how long it will burn, that type of thing. But I must caution you, it will be ten times worse on your nipple, your hand has a fraction of the nerves your breast does." She nodded that she understood. 

Gavin held her hand and tilted it so it looked like they were shaking hands. 

"I'm going to drop it right here," Gavin told her with his thumb touching her wrist just behind her thumb. "It's a sensitive spot, not calloused over by your art utensils." 

She smiled that he was even thinking about that. Most guys didn't think her drawing would be taxing in any way. Gavin knew there would be callouses from the hours of holding the charcoal, or the pencils in various positions. Attention to detail. That is what separated Gavin Alex guessed. 

She nodded that she was ready. He gripped her hand firmly in his. With a tilt of the candle he slowly let a single drop fall on her wrist where the thumb met the joint. She squeezed her hand tight but didn't pull it away. 

When she lifted her eyes Gavin was studying her carefully. She looked back to the crusted wax. The pain was there, then instantly gone as Elizabeth described. She tilted her wrist and saw the light blue/gray crust. Gavin pulled on it slowly, removing it from her wrist. 

"That wasn't what I thought it was going to be," Alex admitted with a smile. 

"Your nipples, will be a different story, but the time of discomfort will be similar, but we are talking about a really sensitive area," Gavin cautioned. Always the protector Alex smiled. Always safe. 

"What do you think?" Elizabeth asked her. Alex smiled as she thought about it. She looked to her Dom. 

"Would this please you?" she asked him. He tilted his head in surprise. 

"This isn't about me," Gavin explained. "This is pushing your boundaries." 

"When do we push yours?" Alex asked him causing him to smile. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 11



"Every time I'm with you," he winked. She beamed. 

"I want to try it," Alex smiled. "Try it all first, then decide...right?" Gavin nodded with a smile as she laid back. 

Gavin brought the candle over her and smiled at her. She looked to candle and saw the hot puddle on top. She shifted her eyes to his. 

"Are you sure?" he asked one last time. He could tell she was nervous but would not be dissuaded by her fear. 

"Yes, Sir," she smiled. He winked at her and her smile broadened. 

Slowly he tilted the candle, focusing his attention on his aim. Elizabeth took hold of her hand and squeezed and Alex was thankful as her heart was pounding. She held her breath as the hot liquid balanced on the edge as he carefully tilted the candle. Alex cringed as she saw the wax fall and hit her squarely on the nipple causing her to suck in a hiss. She gripped Elizabeth's hand tightly. Gavin looked to her after tilting the candle back up. 

"Green," she smiled. He nodded and moved the candle to her other breast. Slowly he tilted the candle again, it seemed to Alex as if it was going in slow motion now. But the drop finally fell and hit her nipple causing her to hiss again. 

Gavin moved back to the other nipple and dropped another drop and Alex bit her lip. Moving back across, he dropped an equalizing drop. He smiled at her and put the candle out and set it down. 

Slowly he peeled the hot wax off her and she flinched at the incredible sensitivity of her nipple. 

"Holy shit!" she gasped with a bright smile. He leaned down and slowly traced around her nipple with his tongue. 

The sensitivity of her nipples now was mind boggling. She jerked at every flick of his tongue. Elizabeth joined in and went to work on the other nipple causing Alex to tighten all of her muscles. 

Elizabeth pulled off and kissed her on the lips. Alex accepted her tongue hungrily. The thoughts of possibly being bi-sexual flooded her mind. Was she? She never was interested in girl on girl, but with Elizabeth it seemed they were doing it a lot. Something to take up with Gavin later. After she enjoyed herself. That statement alone made her shake her head. 

"Well?" Gavin asked her when her eyes opened. 

"Wow," she smiled. "I never would have thought the sensations...they were...wow!" she shook her head with a bright smile, unable again, to come up with the vocabulary to describe what she was feeling. 

It seemed this lifestyle was doing that on a regular basis. If it wasn't Gavin that was unexplainably fantastic, it was Elizabeth. If it wasn't something about the lifestyle that was unexplainable, it was the sex. She was going to have to figure one out. She was tired of being frustrated at not being able to describe things. 

"Good girl," he smiled making her body tingle. "To try something your 'faulty brain' told you it wasn't interested in. That's admirable for someone who is just now learning." He twisted and used her words from earlier causing her to glare at him jokingly. 

"Thank you, Sir," the three little words were becoming her favorite to say. 

Gavin brought the rope out and she smiled. And her body began to warm. 

"God yes! Green!" she smiled eagerly. He nodded. He worked on her hands first as Elizabeth continued to work on her sensitive nipples. Using her fingers to rub her sex. Alex wanted to touch Elizabeth but now her hands were unable and that frustrated her a bit. Elizabeth smiled at the thoughts running through Alex's eyes. 

"Frustrating not to be able to touch what you want," Elizabeth smiled. 

"It is," Alex agreed biting her lip as Elizabeth worked her fingers. 

"Been there," Elizabeth explained how she knew. 

After securing her legs Gavin came back up with a wand massager and sat next to her. She saw the toy in his hands and her body shook with excitement. 

"This by the way, is called the spread eagle position," Gavin explained with the way she was secured to the bed. She nodded. 

She felt very vulnerable like this. Not just because she was tied up. But because everything seemed so open. Her breasts out, inviting anyone to play with them. Her mouth available to give pleasure to any who wished to use it. Her sex slightly parted because of the tension he used to spread her legs wide apart. She could tell the tightness of her underused sex was puckered and open by the way the coolness from the air conditioner breezed around her lips. 

"It's not the most favorite of my positions," Gavin shrugged. "But it does allow you to see what is going on the best." 

"Yes, Sir," she swallowed. What was he going to do to her? 

"You know what this is," he smiled showing it to her. "I saw that it interested you at the party, thought we would play with it a little." 

"Thank you, Sir," 

"The way you say that, is all the reward I need," he whispered as he kissed her. "Now, if I remember right, we had you at thirteen the first night. I believe we should be able to push beyond that tonight." 

"What is your goal?" she marveled that he was setting them. 

"Your limits," he smiled deviously. "Always." She nodded and looked to Elizabeth who flicked her eyebrows at her. 

"And a tad more," Elizabeth chimed in softly. 

The soft hum of the toy she heard, right before he placed it gently to her sex. She let out a long slow breath as the sensations cascaded over her body. From her sex outward. Letting her eyes flutter closed from the sensations her body was feeling. 

Gavin gently moved the toy around her causing her hips to move up and down, trying to hump the toy itself as her body responded. Gavin smiled at Elizabeth and she grinned knowingly. 

Elizabeth watched Gavin and could tell he was enjoying his new pet. She felt a twang of jealousy as perhaps he was enjoying Alex more than her. She pushed it from her mind. Gavin had taken her as far as he was willing to go. She wanted more, this was her opportunity to get that. Gavin was just too much of a gentleman. 

In the beginning she loved that, but now she wanted to go farther. More pain. Rougher. Not that Gavin couldn't get rough. He just didn't let that inner animal out enough for her taste. She remembered the bite marks on Alex's back in the shower. She knew Gavin had given them to her, something he didn't do to her for months after they started their relationship. 

She was going to miss his expertise. His hands. His spoiling. After talking to other subs at parties it seemed Gavin was one of the few who really went out of his way to do the little things. She found all Doms had things they did for their subs as a reward. But Gavin's were very rare. The showering them. The massages. The shopping trips. Extravagant vacations. 

But Gavin was right, once the relationship reached an apex it would grow stagnant. They had peaked. She wanted more than Gavin's desires. She looked at the way Alex's body rocketed to her first orgasm. She remembered those days. The newness. The awe she had at how easily he brought her to orgasm. 

Bringing Alex in was a brilliant idea she decided. For the moment it took the sex life to a higher level. Then, once she was tired of it, she would have her out. She knew that Gavin knew. He hadn't said a word to change her mind. He knew he had taken her to his limits but hers were just a little farther out. 

She looked back to Alex and saw how beautiful she looked as she came again. It brought a smile to her face as she played with Alex's nipples, causing her to convulse and look to Elizabeth with wanton eyes. Elizabeth envied her. The wealth of new things that laid before the pet. Gavin was an excellent guide, a patient guide. A loving guide. He was a perfect guide for a novice. 

She looked back at him and saw something in his eyes he had never had with her. It was a look she couldn't place. Gavin caught her staring and winked at her which made her doubt of why she wanted to leave. Something Gavin could always do. Make her feel better. She was going to miss that most of all. With her tempestuous nature she needed his guidance from time to time. His patience. Not many Doms would let their sub act the way she did at times and get away with it. 

It seemed Gavin knew when to reel her in. And when to let her stomp and pout. Would the next Dom be as generous? This made her smile. It would be a new world to discover for her. Much like Alex is doing now. Discovering. Maybe that is the true nature of the life. The unknown. Maybe that is what makes it so hot! 

Elizabeth moved above Alex's head and Alex watched her. The dark haired goddess smiled as she began to straddle the pet's head. 

"I love your tongue," Elizabeth explained as she moved into position. 

"I love your delicious pussy," Alex said back. Elizabeth smiled. 

Alex's tongue slowly began to trace the outside of Elizabeth's intimate warmth. Elizabeth dropped her head back as she reveled in the feel on her sex. Elizabeth held herself still and allowed Alex to do all the work. She marveled at the expert way Alex seemed to let her tongue work. She wondered if Alex had done this before. During their conversations, Alex had told her no. If that was so, then the girl was just a natural! 

Elizabeth began to shake at the soft manipulations. She watched Gavin move to begin his own oral work on Alex. She was going to miss his talented tongue as well. Gavin was so much better at the oral than her previous Dom. She hoped her next one was as talented, but really, like it is with any relationship. It was a crap shoot. 

Alex's moans of her next orgasm vibrated through her sensitive flesh and it brought Elizabeth to her zenith and she gasped as her cum washed out of her and onto Alex's face. The fact of that, made Alex lap aggressively to get all that she could. Elizabeth smiled. 

Elizabeth let her hand take hold of Alex's soft mounds on her chest as Gavin rocketed Alex to another orgasm. It seemed when Alex was building towards her orgasm she lost focus on Elizabeth. Something that Elizabeth understood. Alex's body would rise, her tongue would stop and hold where ever it was last positioned. Sometimes on her clit, providing pressure on it. Sometimes deep within her folds. 

She softly began to pinch at Alex's sensitive nipples and enjoyed the convulsions the pet had under her. Elizabeth slowly continued to increase the pressure causing more distress for Alex as she continued to lap at Elizabeth while her body twisted against her restraints. 

Elizabeth let go of Alex's soft mounds and moved her hands softly around the pet's neck. This caused the girl beneath her to gasp and blow hot air across her clit. Slowly Elizabeth squeezed Alex's neck feeling her pulse under her skin. Elizabeth was cautious with what she was doing but it was obvious by the gusto being bestowed on her with Alex's tongue she was enjoying the hands there. 

The raven haired goddess closed her eyes as another orgasm built in her body causing the muscles to tighten all over. She lowered her hips to push herself deeper onto Alex's lapping tongue. 

Alex felt the beautiful woman above her lower but with the hands around her throat she was already starting to feel smothered. This didn't help. She went to use her hands to lift her up but they stopped at the end of the soft loop on her restraints. 

"Elizabeth," Gavin cautioned aloud. His voice was enough to calm Alex panicking brain, and bring Elizabeth back to earth. She realized what she was doing and lifted off Alex and removed her hands. 

Peering between her legs Elizabeth looked at her apologetically, although inside she realized she wanted to go farther with the pet. To push her deeper into distress. Her darker side coming out. 

"I'm fine," Alex said aloud. Elizabeth nodded and returned to her perch upon Alex's lips. She looked to Gavin and found him watching her. His eyes one of warning. She fought the grimace at her lips. She forgot herself. Rule number one, she reminded herself. Safety. 

"I'm sorry, my beautiful pet," she whispered. "You put me in another stratosphere with that talented tongue!" 

"I'm glad you are enjoying it!" Alex breathed into her. 

Gavin lifted himself off the bed after rocking Alex to orgasm a few more times. As soon as he stood Elizabeth fell the length of Alex and buried her own face into Alex's soft sex. Now in the 69 position, both girls devoured each other and brought each other to a blissful orgasm. 

While the girls played with one another, Gavin undid the ropes binding Alex. Starting with her ankles. He massaged them gently making sure there was no marks from being overtight. 

He watched with satisfaction as the two girls continued to work on each other. It was breathtaking to see the two. Once he freed a hand, Alex instantly brought it to Elizabeth's body which caused him to giggle. The girl just love to use her hands! 

Gavin pulled it back to him so he could inspect and massage it. Once he was satisfied, he let it go and shook his head as she immediately brought it back into play. Releasing the other wrist he didn't let it go. He held it for inspection and massage, then let it go and Alex brought it to the other cheek of Elizabeth's tight ass. 

She now used her free hands to pull the goddess tighter to her as she hungrily lapped at her. Gavin moved to the bed and brought his tongue down the crack of Elizabeth's ass and Alex watched him. Their eyes locked on each other as they worked as a team. 

Alex pulled the soft valley apart and Gavin smiled as she seemed to know what he was thinking. He slowly let his tongue snake into Elizabeth, distracting her from her manipulations on Alex but she didn't mind. Now she was seeing what he had done to her in the hotel room. The way his tongue softly invaded an area it wasn't supposed to. 

Slowly it disappeared into Elizabeth and Alex was fascinated. She knew how that felt as it was fresh in her mind. It caused her secret smile to come out. 

"Want to try?" Gavin asked her. Alex's smile grew. 

"Yes, Sir," she whispered. 

This would be another first. She had never even considered tonguing someone's ass before. Granted she was in the 69 position with another woman. Something also never done. This whole life was something of a challenge. It was driving her mad with lust at all the things she didn't know or hasn't experienced. 

For a fleeting second she had a sliver of fear run up her spine that one day Gavin would just succumb to his absolutes and she would have to make a decision to walk alone in this new, exciting, albeit dangerous, world. 

Alex lifted her head as Elizabeth changed her angle by pushing off the bed to bring the taboo hole of pleasure to an angle in which Alex could sample. Gavin pulled on her cheeks and Alex tentatively let her tongue enter the soft half globes of Elizabeth's tight glutes. 

She felt it out first. Her mind let any and all thoughts run through her. First was the idea of what it was going to taste like. Would it taste foul? Gavin didn't seem to object. How would it feel? 

She gently pressed the tip of her tongue on the puckered ring. It seemed to open slightly, inviting her further. She pressed her tongue out farther and felt the slight pull of the ring around her tongue. 

The gasp of pleasure from Elizabeth was enough. Alex pushed farther into the unknown. Reaching her maximum distance. Gavin winked at her. 

"See," he smiled. "Hardly repulsive." Damn Jedi! 

"It feels so tight!" Alex told him as she cautiously brought her tongue back into her mouth. She was expecting to find a foul taste but found none. She knew that was her puritanical thoughts that Gavin had warned her about. 

She lifted her head and let her tongue fill the soft void of Elizabeth's soft taboo. 

"God, your tongue!" Elizabeth gasped. 

Gavin smiled as he brought his tongue into play and they danced with one another, both fighting for supremacy on who would get to invade. First Gavin, then Alex. Taking turns, they alternated who was in. 

Alex brought her finger close and Gavin nodded his approval. 

"Go slow, this is not an entrance that lubricates, which is why it should be done with care. While our saliva will lube it some, it should really be done with a real lube," he explained patiently. 

"I'm assuming on how she can handle my cock in there, your small hands shouldn't be a discomfort for her to a degree that we need lube," Gavin said winking at her. 

"Elizabeth can handle your cock...in there?" Alex marveled. 

"Yes," 

"Holy shit!" Alex gasped. "Did she enjoy it?" 

"I did," Elizabeth answered for him. 

"I'm not sure if it was sexually pleasing to her as much as emotionally pleasing to her to give me something I crave!" Gavin explained. "I'm sure she felt some pleasure, but I would guess most was derived on how much I enjoyed it...and more importantly...how hard I came." 

"You came harder in there?" Alex smiled as she gently inserted her index finger into the warmth of Elizabeth causing her to gasp. 

"Yes," Gavin nodded. "I always do...to be where you aren't supposed to be makes it all that more exciting. It revs up everything, knowing it is so forbidden!" 

"To know you are somewhere very few are allowed to go," Gavin whispered in reverence and Alex could tell just speaking about it was revving him up. "To know there is a small fraction of people that allow another to go there. It's exhilarating!" 

"I would guess it's impossible not to cum harder there," Gavin smiled. "The dirtiest of all things! At least in our uptight society!" 

Alex felt the clamping of the tight hole on her finger. She wondered how Gavin put himself in there. She could also see why it would feel so good! The tightness was something that could not be duplicated. Then the mentality of being where you aren't supposed to be. Yeah, she could see the fascination of it. 

"Do you want to put your cock in me, there?" Alex asked him. 

"I do," he admitted. "Desperately." 

He laid next to her and stroked her hair as she continued to finger and tongue Elizabeth. 

"See, this is my weakness," he smiled. "I'm an ass man by nature. I would rather see a great ass than a big set of tits." 

"What kind of other men are there?" she smiled. 

"Well, there are three types of men. Leg men. Tit men and ass men. It will be one of those things that we notice first on a woman." 

"What did you see on me?" Alex asked him. "I was sitting down when you first saw me!" 

"I have gotten so adept at judging an ass by body type that I don't need to see the ass specifically. I could see the curve of your hips as you sat. The length of your legs. The way you sat. Looking at the space available in the chair in which you sat. All told me you had a fabulous ass!" He laughed. 

"Seriously?" 

"Seriously," he affirmed. "That's not to say I didn't take a look the first moment I had a chance. Here in the living room when you got up to have dinner with us. The pants you wore, the way the hung to the curve of your ass!" He let his finger trace the soft underside of the ass cheek on Elizabeth. 

"So what is the best clothing to show off an ass?" Alex asked him. 

"Those Goddamn yoga pants!" Gavin growled and laughed at once. "Nothing kills me more than yoga pants!" 

"I'll keep that in mind!" Alex smiled wickedly. 

"My turn," he smiled at her. "I have had something I wanted to do for a week now." 

Both girls sat in the submissive position as he laid down in the center of the bed. 

"I want one on my face, one on my cock," he told them. Alex looked to Gavin's hard cock and wanted to take it. 

"Sorry, beautiful," Elizabeth said taking hold of it. "Seniority and all that!" Alex glared playfully at her. "Besides, there are two reasons I should get his cum. One, you have already had it today, as evident by the cum on your chest." Alex bowed her head embarrassedly. "And two, I'm leaving tomorrow for four days...that's four days I'm going to be without this magnificent...cooock," she hissed as she lowered herself on him. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 11



Alex smiled. Elizabeth was right. No reason for her to be greedy! Who was she trying to kid, she wanted to be greedy! But the thought of having four days of Gavin alone made her push that out. She would have Gavin for four days! Alone! 

Alex smiled down at him as she moved over his face and felt the roughness of the stubble from his five o'clock shadow. He brushed her sensitive skin causing her to gasp at the drastic difference between the roughness of his face and the softness of his tongue. It caused Alex to think about the analogy of his face and tongue with the lifestyle she is so desperately learning. 

The softness and then the roughness. The bending and the rigidness. The taking and the giving. This world had all of it. 

Elizabeth pulled Alex's head to her and kissed her from her thoughts. Now she could only think about her impending orgasm. Between Gavin's manipulations, and Elizabeth's soft moans as she rode his cock. Then the way she was kissing her passionately made her cascade off the waterfall and cum all over Gavin with a whimper. 

Alex fell down to Elizabeth's breast as they heaved and she leaned back to shove Gavin's cock further in her. Alex watched Elizabeth's sex engulf then spit out his cock, only swallow it again. Rapidly. The shaft glistened in the light from the bedside lamp. 

Alex was inundated with the scent of sex. Both hers and Elizabeth's. She let her fingers go between Elizabeth's legs and felt the wetness there. Her fingers found her clit and rocketed Elizabeth over the top of another orgasm. She watched her fingers dampen from it. She could feel the steel feel of Gavin's cock between her fingers and that excited her. Knowing that the other half of his magnificent shaft was deep inside of Elizabeth, bringing her ecstasy. 

Gavin began to lift his hips off the mattress and Alex knew that he was going to cum. The jealousy of Elizabeth getting his cum overwhelmed her and she chastised herself for it. But it was still there. Gavin's comment about needy kittens came back to her. Damn right she was a needy kitten! She wanted his cum, and she truly didn't want to share! 

Gavin exploded in Elizabeth and Alex could tell. The look on Elizabeth's face, the look said it all, that she could feel the power of it as her eyes fluttered closed, and Gavin collapsed his hips to the bed. Elizabeth looked to Alex and saw the disappointment and smiled to herself as she rocked her sex on his cock. 

Alex eased off his face and kissed him. Tasting her own juices there. Elizabeth fell to the side of him and sighed, satisfied. Alex took a spot on his other arm and the girls laid their heads on his chest and stared at each other as they listened to his beating heart as he stroked their backs. One hand a piece. 

"You know," Alex told her as they smiled. "He has doubts he can please us both!" 

"I don't know about you...but I'm satisfied!" Elizabeth giggled. 

"Ditto!" Alex agreed. 

Yes, she was a little jealous that Elizabeth had his cock, but she was satisfied. 

"I am right here," Gavin told them. "You can quit talking about me like I'm not!" 

"Yes, Sir," they said in unison. 

"Damn," he giggled.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 12



Chapter 14*

Gavin kissed her goodbye and Alex and Elizabeth hugged.

"See you in four days," Elizabeth said to Alex. "Enjoy him!"

"Like I could do anything but!" Alex smiled shaking her head. "I've never been to New Orleans, so send me pics!"

"I will," Elizabeth waved over her shoulder. Gavin draped his arm around Alex's shoulder and they waved at her as Elizabeth looked back from the gangway.

"I have a question for you," Alex said as they watched from the window.

"Uh-oh," he teased with a grin. She slapped his flat stomach for it. 

He seemed to be in a very loose, and very good mood. Not that he was grumpy before, but before he seemed to be all business. Today, he seemed like he was on vacation. Gone was the dress suits, the tie. Now it was back to his designer jeans, and sneakers. Both of which still looked brand new but which he told her he owned for just about a year.

It told her that he rarely wore them. She wondered why that was. Was it because he was always so busy? Today he abandoned he suit for the casual dress. Why? Was it because Elizabeth was leaving? She doubted that. She figured it was because Pavel was coming to town and he was already getting ready for a good time with him. 

Whatever it was, she was enjoying it. He teased her and Elizabeth unmercifully all morning. His laughter was like it was on the phone last night. Easy to let out. He joked with her. First about the fact she was whining about waking up without him again. He mimicked her voice then told her to stop being a sleepy head and get up before noon.

"Well actually, I have a litany of questions, but there are two that are pressing on my mind right now," Alex said as the plane was moved out away from the terminal.

"Go," he encouraged.

"Do you think I'm bi-sexual?" Alex turned to him.

"What do you think?" he asked her with a chuckle, gently touching her face with a contented smile.

"I really enjoy Elizabeth," Alex told him with a half shrug.

"That doesn't make you bi-sexual," Gavin sighed. "Look, don't let the puritans cloud your brain!" She looked up to him for explanation. 

"There was a time, in ancient Rome and Greece, where male on male and female on female was considered normal. You were able to do whatever pleased you, especially in the sexual realm. Somewhere on the way to becoming 'civilized' we decided to label everything and then judge whether it was good or bad."

Gavin turned her as the plane taxied away. They began to walk out of O'Hare airport, his arm still draped around her, hers around his hip.

"It used to be, if it felt good, do it," Gavin continued. "Now, we have to judge if it is appropriate. We are the only country with all the sexual hang ups! The only country that will judge you for what you do behind closed doors. Be it the LBGT community, our lifestyle, or even those who just like to have sex. If you have it too little, you're a prude. Too much? You're a whore." 

"So much for the land of the free! Now if you do something like what we do, you are labeled a deviate and shunned. Our lifestyle is about going back to our roots. Back to doing what brings us pleasure. Back to where, if it feels good, do it!"

Alex nodded as she thought about it.

"I guess I have a lot to learn," she admitted out loud.

"No," he smiled. "You have a lot to experience!"

They walked on as she enjoyed the moment of tenderness. His arm around her. Hers around him. Not quite what someone on the outside world would consider a Dom/sub relationship. If you would have asked her a few weeks ago, she would have thought it involved leather outfits and the woman walking head down a few feet behind the Dom. 

This looked more like a burgeoning relationship. And it was, but it wouldn't have been her first thought, looking from the outside.

"Let me ask you this," he continued. "Would it bother you to be bi-sexual?" Alex looked to her feet as they walked in thought.

"No," she finally said. "I mean, I don't mind the way I feel when I'm with Elizabeth, I love the feel of her softness. It feels different than a man's body. It's very erotic to look at. I've always enjoyed sketching or painting women. The soft features are very pleasing to the eye!"

"Something tells me," Gavin said with a reassuring squeeze of her shoulders, "that it's new and exciting. You're exploring something you have never had. Once the newness fades you will have a better idea. But there is nothing wrong with being bi-sexual. It was one of the things that alerted me to you being a switch."

Alex looked up at him.

"Oh yes," he smiled. "You will have to come to grips with that someday. You won't ever be truly satisfied unless you do."

"I want you," she said firmly, not wanting to go down this road again. "You won't be a sub."

"I'm just saying, if you don't try it, you will always be left a little unsatisfied, then that alone may lead you to leave me anyway," he said carefully. Alex shook her head refusing to believe that.

"Ok, next question," he sighed, smiling at how easily she gets wound up on the subject of her moving on from him. 

It was something new for him to deal with. He had never had a sub so dead set on having him be their Dom. All of his subs enjoyed him, but none were as possessive as this one. Deep down, when he would allow himself to admit it, he liked it. His other subs had been in the life, he surmised, so they knew the deal. This one hadn't been. She was still confused with what the defined roles were.

But for him, these relationships weren't about what he liked. Bringing pleasure to his subs is what he ultimately strove for. It was what brought him the most pleasure. The orgasms for sure. But he really enjoy taking them places they hadn't been. Having a complete novice was a new challenge, one he was embracing. One he had to sacrifice on. Sacrifice an absolute. Alex was worth it he was finding. He loved the way she dove in head first. Wanting it all, not later, but right now.

"Why doesn't Elizabeth like Pavel?" She asked him.

"What makes you think she doesn't," he asked her with a grin.

"Seriously? Why are you playing dumb?" Alex gasped.

"She doesn't like Pavel because he finds her shallow," Gavin smiled. "And he told her so, to her face, rather bluntly."

"She works for an environmental lobby," Alex pointed out. "She is trying to save the world."

"No, she isn't," Gavin laughed. "She doesn't work for an environmental company, one that is trying to clean the environment or come up with a way to fix global warming. She works for a lobby, she works for politicians. She is in the politics of it. Money. Power. There is a lot of money to be had in lobbying. She is trying to gather some of that, and power. Which is why she is so hung up on Royce. She thinks he is going to be somebody. Somebody with power!" He said sarcastically showing he disagreed.

"You know about that?" Alex frowned. He looked down at her with a bemused smile. 

"She wants what he can provide," Gavin shrugged. "I just hope she is good at protecting herself."

"I'm sorry," Alex told him.

"For?"

"Her foolishness," Alex shrugged.

"Again, it's all about desires," Gavin sighed. "I would hope she would choose better but that is what she desires. I don't own her in that way. Once she decides to end it with me, I can only be there for her if she needs a friend. Once another Dom claims her, she is off limits. Just like she is now to anyone else. Just like you."

"I hate to tell you this," Alex drawled out slowly with a frown. "But that thought makes me wet!" This made him laugh and shake his head at her. Yeah, Alex was not a normal sub. It was definitely going to test him.

Alex stood in front of the mirror putting the finishing touches on her mascara. Her blue eyes radiated in the light. She was trying to look her best, not just for Gavin. But for someone who was important to Gavin. She hoped she was as successful with Pavel, as she was Madelyn.

Gavin leaned against the door of the bathroom and watched her appreciatively.

"May I help you?" Alex teased in the mirror.

"Let me count the ways!" Gavin said with a wink.

"Am I dressed ok?" she asked him leaning back from the mirror.

"Damn," was all he said. But it was the way he said it that told her she was.

Alex looked down at herself, it was a simple black dress with spaghetti straps. It hung low on her, her cleavage provocatively available. The dress was short enough to stop mid-thigh, and the stockings were a perfect shade of black.

Alex loved the fact that her undergarments made her feel sexier in the dress. She never was much a garter girl, but knowing that Gavin liked them, she made sure she bought plenty of different lingerie for him when they went shopping.

She would wear short heels tonight, not like the heels she wore at the party, those were much taller than she was comfortable in. She was also thinking of the fact that Pavel was not into shallow people. She wanted to dress nice, but not look like she was spending five hours trying to get ready. The three she was on right now would be enough. 

It wouldn't have been that long if she could decide what look she wanted to present. Did she want to go elegant like Elizabeth, down home like she normally dressed, or something in between?

In between is what she went for, she wanted Pavel to realize that Gavin had a lady who could be classy. But she didn't want to look like she was a girl afraid to get her hands dirty either. She assumed this man was beyond upscale nonsense and was more about down to earth do gooders. But it didn't hurt to turn a few heads as well.

The way Gavin was looking at her was all the compliment she needed. Her mission was done.

"Are you wearing panties?" Gavin asked her as she stood there applying a shade of lipstick to draw his attention to her lips. He was staring intently at her ass. He lifted his eyes and looked at her in the mirror. She slowly shook her head with a wicked smile.

"Ouch," he smiled. "Be careful, or I will have to use our safe words myself!"

Gavin and Alex entered the restaurant. They were barely in the door when Gavin was accosted by a tall thin man with brown hair and grey tints. His deep, dark tan told Alex he spent a lot of time in the sun. His skin showing the damage the sun can do, with sun spots and a leathery look to his skin.

"Gav you old dog!" the man bellowed picking him up from behind. Gavin burst into laughter as he pushed at the hands around his waist.

"Pavy put me down or the people here will think we are lovers!" Gavin teased.

"Dumping me after all these years?" Pavel raged, dropping him causing Gavin to laugh heartily. "For this trollop?" Pavel continued loudly drawing stares from the uppity crowd, as he looked to Alex with a wink.

"Well what did you expect? You disappear on me for a year at a time, a man needs tender touch!" Gavin said as loudly causing Alex's mouth to drop that he would participate in this raucous comedy. He had been so reserved! 

Pavel took him in an embrace warmly.

"God you look good," Pavel said with a normal tone.

"I know," Gavin agreed. "You look alive, thank Christ. When I heard the war had spilled over into your province again...I was scared shitless!"

"How do you think I felt?" Pavel returned. He drifted his eyes to Alex. "Wow." He smiled at Gavin.

"Pavy," Gavin backed up and reached for Alex who took his hand. "This stunning young lady is Alex." Gavin said introducing them with a broad smile. "Alex, this is Pavel...don't believe anything he says."

Alex furrowed her brow slightly at the way Gavin introduced her. Alex? She didn't know how to take that. It never bothered her before, she preferred it. When Gavin continued to call her Alexandria, she began to only want to be called that. 

"Alex," Pavel kissed her on each cheek, "Ti sahmahyah kranvahyah!" Telling her in Russian, that she looked beautiful.

"Spahseebah," Alex tried, but butchered the pronunciation. Which meant, thank you. Pavel giggled at the attempt. She shrugged but continued, "Vi tozhe khahrahsho vigleedeetyeh." Which meant, you look good as well.

"Close enough to survive in country," Pavel laughed at her attempt, thoroughly appreciating the attempt to speak to him in his native tongue. "Although you sound like a drunk Russian!"

"She would fit in perfectly then," Gavin laughed as he nodded at her appreciatively, his eyes aglow at the effort she was putting on to impress his friend. He couldn't think of one person in his entire life that made an effort, even as simple as that, to welcome a man he loved like a brother.

"You speak Russian?" Pavel asked, her still holding her hand from the handshake.

"No," she laughed. "Google."

"Google?" Pavel shook his head. "Damn. Where did Gavin get lucky enough to find you?"

"Coffee shop," Alex smiled.

"Gotta start drinking more coffee!" Pavel flirted.

"Uh," Gavin tried to interrupt the leer. "That's my girl you are drooling over." Gavin pointed out pulling their hands apart.

"Oh," Pavel grinned. "Now you get jealous? After all we've been through?" Pavel turned to him. "You didn't mind sharing that red head in med school. Or that brunette in residency. Or those two blonde nurses from that fertility clinic!"

Gavin shook his head and bent at the waist laughing. It was a hearty laugh, not the controlled laugh that Alex had witnessed.

"Alex isn't something I'm willing to share," Gavin told him firmly with a shake of his head.

"Ohhhh," Pavel drawled, as they were escorted to a table. "Alex is the one?"

"Don't be daft," Gavin growled. "We've only known each other just over a week now."

"For this beauty?" Pavel smiled, as he beat Gavin, to pull out her chair for her. "That's long enough!"

"Look," Gavin said getting close to him drawing the Russian's laughing eyes from Alex. The closeness of the two men reminded Alex of two men getting ready to fight. Her eyes lit up at the playful nature Gavin was displaying. "I don't like you that much."

Pavel took the closeness to stare at Gavin with a furrowed brow. Before Gavin moved away, Pavel took him by the head with both hands, and kissed him on the mouth.

"If I can't have her, I can still have you," Pavel said, with all the dramatics of a soap opera star, as Gavin burst into laughter.

"Pavy," Gavin laughed. "You...are a mad man!"

"So there we are," Pavel continued to regale Alex with another embarrassing story about Gavin. "Both in the dumpster, the cops slowly driving by...," Alex had her hand up by her face in disbelief, covering her disbelieving smile. Gavin? Running from the law?

"Pavy," Gavin interrupted with a huff, but the smile told her he wasn't angry, just embarrassed. "Have I told you yet that I hate you?"

"All the time," Pavel smiled undaunted, never taking his eyes off the laughing Alex. "It was at this time, that wonder ass there, decides to tell me that he was sleeping with a cop's wife, that's why we were running! See, up until that point I just took off because he took off! I didn't even know why we were running from the law this time."

"Yeah, this time!" Gavin exhaled deeply. Embarrassed. "Most of the time it was you who had the reasons for us to be running!"

Alex looked to him with a gasp and a set of questioning blue eyes.

"She was hot and needed a friend," Gavin defended with a shrug and drink from his scotch.

"The Chief of Police's wife?" Pavel queried. Gavin turned away. "Right as the squad car is in front of the dumpster, a rat...," Pavel continued, drawing her laughter, as she took Gavin's hand in hers.

"The size of a dog!" Gavin interrupted again with a laugh.

"It was the size of a horse," Pavel corrected. "Crawls up to say a friendly hello!"

"I don't know who got out of the dumpster faster! Me or you!" Gavin chuckled.

"Did they catch you?" Alex asked.

"Boy, did they ever," Pavel laughed as he shook his head.

"Don't," Gavin warned.

"I think she should know," Pavel argued.

"Tell me," Alex demanded, shifting her eyes from one man, to the other.

"They didn't catch us that night," Pavel smiled. "They caught us the next weekend as we both had a go at the Chief's wife...at the same time. Greedy little minx!"

"Damn you have a big mouth," Gavin shook his head. "Did you ever think, for one second, I might be trying to impress this young lady?" Gavin asked his friend, as he tilted his head towards Alex.

"Best she knows now, what kind of scoundrel you are!" Pavel laughed over his drink.

The dinner continued with laughter, some embarrassment for Gavin, and alcohol. Lots of it for the boys. After dinner they made it to a local bar for more.

"So tell me about Africa!" Alex pressed. "I hear it's beautiful!"

"Oh my," Pavel nodded. "There are places there that can make you forget all the ugliness in the world! It can make you forget about all the blood that is being spilt all over the savannah."

"I would love to go there," Alex smiled.

"There are mornings, when you wake up and stepping out into the morning sun, and it's so quiet. You look out and see animals, a lion or a rhinoceros, standing no more than twenty feet from you. You are in awe. Then you realize, they could kill you in a blink of an eye! That's what it's like over there, dangerously beautiful...like you."

"Amazing!" Alex marveled with a shake of her head at the compliment. "Gavin said something about a civil war?"

"Africa, is always in some sort of civil war," Pavel frowned. "From Joseph Kony to Boko Haram, it's always the same."

"Aren't you scared?" Alex asked him.

"Always," Pavel nodded. "I have to walk a fine line, Boko is the worst to deal with, Kony is not much better."

"You know them both?" Alex gasped.

"Yes," Pavel nodded. "Nothing gets done without dealing with the warlords. If you want to help the people, you play both sides. It's what it is."

"I thought Kony was wanted for war crimes in The Hague?" Alex asked him leaning in.

"He is," Pavel nodded. "I don't do politics." He told her with shrug. "I do medicine. I have to sacrifice a few values to do the most good. It's the innocent people there that are important. Those who don't care about power. Those who are caught in the middle." 

"Kony is an awfully fucked up man, but he is someone I have to appease so I can move about to help the people," Pavel said with a heavy shrug of his shoulders.

"How is he fucked up?" Alex asked his with a furrowed brow.

"The man believes he is a profit of God," Pavel laughed. "He's a madman, a murder, and a monster. That's the cross I bear. I deal with monsters."

Alex like this man. She loved his sense of humor and his care about what he believed in. Gavin liked this man as well, that was certain. She could tell by the brotherly barbs, the care in which Gavin took care of him.

"What are you doing back here?" Alex asked him.

"Oh, every once in a while I have to do a dog and pony show for the donors. The group I work for, well is non-profit. We need donors, both financial and medical," Pavel sighed. 

"See these civil wars have been going on since forever, I have to come over once and awhile to talk to groups to keep the money coming. It's so tight now, it's getting harder to get supplies. It used to be I only had to go to the black market every once in a while for meds, now it seems that's all I deal with. It can get expensive, but everybody here is wrapped up in ISIS and Afghanistan. That's all the press here talks about. Nobody remembers that there have been civil wars going on since the eighties...hell even earlier than that if you want to look. Africa is put on the back burner so I come back to beg for money basically."

"What do you need?" Gavin asked him.

"You know what I need from you," Pavel said sternly, letting Alex know this request had been made several times before. As was Pavel's demand of Gavin.




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 12



"I can't just leave," Gavin said shaking his head.

"You are the best God damn doctor in the world!" Pavel hissed. "These rich fuck ups don't deserve you, and you aren't doing anyone any good being their private physician! But you could do a hell of a lot of good there! More good in a year than a lifetime here! Don't tell me it's for the money, you have never cared about money!"

"Pavy," Gavin sighed.

"I know my brat," Pavy nodded with an exhale.

"Brat?" Alex asked him.

"Brother," Gavin smiled. "In Russian. How is your father?"

"Misses you," Pavel shook his head. "I think he likes you more than me! He likes that you call him more often than I do, especially after mother passed. Thanks. It's good he's proud of one son!"

"That's because I cause him less headaches!" Gavin teased. "And the man is very proud of you!" 

"That I don't doubt! The headaches I mean, the rest is a bit doubtful," Pavel shook his head. "So how long have you been seeing this piece of shit?" he asked Alex.

"Not long," Alex smiled. "Couple of weeks."

"Run now," Pavel warned her. "While you can!"

"Hey, don't be running Alex off just yet!" Gavin growled playfully.

"You aren't good enough for her!" Pavel told him.

"Tell me something I don't know," Gavin agreed with his drink to his lips. "But Alex will figure that out all on her own."

"What she needs is a good looking Russian!" Pavel told him taking her hand and kissing it.

"That's a contradiction in terms," Gavin laughed. "And I know for a fact you aren't talking about yourself! Besides, Alex...has taste! She doesn't do bottom feeders!"

Pavel excused himself to go to the restroom and before he left the table he kissed Alex's cheek again.

"Stop kissing my girl," Gavin warned. Pavel swayed a bit with a broad smile before leaving.

"Why do you keep calling me Alex?" she asked testily when Pavel was gone. Gavin shook his head and giggled at her anger.

"Easy," he smiled. "I remember, not too long ago, you corrected us that your name was Alex, you didn't like Alexandria!"

Alex hung her head and smiled. That was before he showed her how glorious it could be to be Alexandria! That was before he made her cum double digits and made her think of nothing more than the ways she could please him.

"Pavel isn't in the life," Gavin explained. "He...doesn't know I'm in the life. My one and only secret from Pavy."

"Oh," Alex smiled, nodding that she understood. 

"To those in the life, you are Alexandria," Gavin told her kissing her lips. "Everyone else can have Alex, I own Alexandria."

"Thank you sir," she smiled, her body tingling at the name.

Leaving the bar, Pavel had his arm draped around Alex as she guided him to the car while Gavin paid the check. She leaned him against the car and made sure he wasn't going to fall.

"I'm fine," he winked at her. "Not often I can get like this." He told her apologetically.

"You're fine," she smiled.

"You like him?" Pavel asked her as she watched her open the door. He liked the way she smiled. He liked the way her eyes sparkled when she looked at him. She nodded.

"Very much," Alex agreed. "He is unlike anyone I have ever been out with!"

"I can tell he likes you very much too," Pavel smiled as she guided him to the seat and then he basically fell in.

"I hope so," Alex told him as Gavin came up behind them.

"If you throw up in my car, you, will be, cleaning it up!" Gavin warned.

"I know," Pavel slurred. "I throw up one time in the car, and you won't let me live it down! Remember that night with Carla?" Gavin lost his smile for the first time. Alex didn't miss it.

"Shut up you drunk Russian," Gavin said, carefully pushing his legs in the car and closing the door. Alex watched him but could tell there was something there. He smiled at her.

"I'm sorry, we got a bit carried away tonight," he told her.

"No," Alex smiled. "I loved it! He's absolutely fantastic." Her eyes and mind searched his face for clues to the mysterious Carla.

"Yeah," Gavin nodded.

"He wants you to go to Africa?" Alex asked him as he escorted her around the car.

"Yeah," Gavin frowned. "I would love to go someday, but I have my practice here."

"Why don't you go for a couple of weeks?" Alex asked him.

"Pavel did that," Gavin smiled. "And never left." Alex nodded as he pulled the seat forward so she could get in the back.

Driving home Alex thought about the name Carla. What was that about? What caused Gavin's demeanor to change immediately. Gone was the light hearted smile. The hearty laughter. The darkness washed over his eyes. It screamed danger at her. Danger to bring it up. Danger to cause pain.

Holding Pavel up, more or less, in the hallway as Gavin unlocked the door. Pavel kept kissing her cheek and telling her that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He proposed twice on the elevator ride up.

Laying him in the bed, she let Gavin tend to him. She squeezed the drunk man's hand when he thanked her. She started to make her way out but Pavel saying her name stopped her as she was just outside the door, she was about to go into the master bedroom. As she turned just outside the guestroom when she realized Pavel was talking to Gavin and not her.

"She's spectacular," Pavel complimented.

"She is," Gavin agreed pulling off his friends shoes.

"Much better than that last bitch you had," Pavel continued watching the ceiling fan. "What was her name? The lobbyist?"

"Beth," Gavin smiled.

"God I didn't like her, she was bad for you," Pavel pointed out.

"No," Gavin shook his head. "She was, what I needed at the time."

"And Alex?" Pavel asked him.

"A quandary," Gavin sighed. "It's all new right now." The pain washed over his eyes and Pavel didn't miss it.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Pavel growled angrily.

"Don't," Gavin warned.

"Fuck you," Pavel bit. "You don't get to tell me, of all people, that! I know you my brat," Pavel hissed.

"It's new," Gavin tried again.

"You're eyes," Pavel smiled as he touched Gavin. "Say otherwise."

"Two weeks," Gavin smiled, reminding him gently that the relationship was still in its infancy.

"Still keeping everybody away?" Pavel asked as he shook his head. "Just me and Madelyn, that's all you got. That's all you will ever have, if you keep intentionally picking the shitty ones, and keep the good ones away!"

"That's all I need, you and Maddy," Gavin told him sitting on the bed next to his drunk friend.

"No," Pavel shook his head. "You need a good girl, one that deserves to be by your side! You can't keep letting Carla force you to push girls like Alex away!"

"Girls like Alex?" Gavin smiled.

"Good ones," Pavel slurred. "Ones that make you smile like you did once, with Carla!"

"Carla was so long ago," Gavin pointed out softly.

"Yet," Pavel frowned. "She still haunts you."

"No," Gavin said, shaking his head. "She doesn't."

"Liar," Pavel said with a shake of his head as Gavin shut off the bedside lamp. 

"It wasn't your fault, you know? That was a train wreck that was going to happen despite all that you tried to keep it from happening. Gavin, some people can't be saved. Remember what Dr. Masterson always said. In an emergency, you must decide quickly who can be saved, and who can't. As much as it pains you, you have to let go those who can't be saved! Carla, she was going to wind up in a box, no matter what you did!"

Alex listened to the conversation before quickly walking back to the master bedroom before Gavin came out. She was taking off her makeup when Gavin came in and took her in his arms from behind.

"Thanks for coming tonight," he smiled into her neck.

"Thank you for taking me!" she said closing her eyes as he put his lips to her neck. "Do you think he liked me ok?"

"I think so, he proposed to you twice," Gavin laughed as he kissed her neck gently causing her to wash in goosebumps.

"Drunk proposals, don't count!" Alex told him as he began to leave.

"Are you staying the night?" Gavin asked her as he was leaving.

"Do you want me to?" she asked him in the mirror.

"I told you," Gavin said turning to her. "You come and go as you please."

"It would please me...to stay," Alex told him with a smile.

"As it would me," he smiled closing the door leaving her to get ready for bed.

She walked into the bedroom and Gavin was already in bed. She dropped her silk bathrobe revealing herself to him. He whistled softly at her. She smiled and went to the bed. For some reason her heart was beating fast. Even though she had been with him several times alone. This was going to be the first time in his bed. The first time at his place...alone. 

She wondered why that was a big deal to her right now. Like it was some monumental step in their relationship. She had him in a hotel, she had him at her apartment. But here, in his home, Elizabeth was always around. In the chair, like the first night, or the bed last night. She slowly crawled into bed as he lifted the sheet, inviting her in.

He was in his sleep shorts, but she could tell by the way they hung to him, they were the only thing on him. She laid there looking up into his eyes. She loved the way he looked at her. Like he was devouring her.

"Thank you for going tonight," he said again, "for gracing us with your beauty!" he whispered as he ran his fingers down her face, tracing a line down her jaw to her neck. Lower he went causing her to shiver as he went across her breast. She convulsed slightly.

"Sorry," she smiled. "They are still sensitive from last night!" She told him as he circled the nipple causing it to tighten. He nodded. Of course he knew that she reminded herself. She gripped the sheet beneath her. He smiled at her recognizing it. She was determined to follow his wishes. So she gripped the sheets to keep from touching him.

"I really am happy I went," she smiled at him. "I got to learn a lot about you tonight!" She smiled happily.

"I told you not to believe anything that drunk Russian says!" Gavin teased as he lowered his head to her nipple and took it between his lips. She gasped softly as the sensations of his tongue across her nipple made her shiver with pleasure. She couldn't believe her nipples were still that sensitive! All day they rubbed against the material in her bra and would harden without any other stimulation any time she moved. She was reveling in it.

Moving to the other nipple caused her to let go of the sheet and start to move to his head. She caught herself after being lost in the moment and rewrapped the sheets in her fingers to trap them. He smiled at her ongoing fight.

"I'm so impressed with you," he said releasing her nipple.

"Why?"

"I'm having a hard time believing that a complete novice is able to fight her instincts," he smiled, nipping at her throat with his teeth, working his way down to her areola and nipping it causing her to gasp and convulse.

"I have a good teacher," she smiled. "A patient teacher." She hissed as he tugged on her nipple causing a sharp pain then a doubling of her pleasure as his tongue circle the sensitive nipple. She couldn't believe the sensitivity.

"So," he smiled as he slipped his hand beneath the sheet and cupped her sex softly. "What did you learn tonight?"

"I learned you are afraid of rats!" she teased.

"Rats the size of dogs," he corrected with a grin.

"Horses," she corrected with Pavel's description.

"I learned that you and Pavy have shared girls," she raised his eyebrows as she knew this was not possible now with his absolute.

"Yeah," he nodded as he ran his fingers on the outside of her labia causing her hips to move with his hand. "Pavy and I were younger then."

"You won't share with him now?" she asked.

"No," he smiled as he licked her nipple. "I don't share anymore."

She wanted to ask about Carla, that was what she truly wanted to learn tonight. Why his demeanor changed as soon as her name was mentioned. She knew better than to bring it up. She could tell by the storm that was in his eyes. Like a hurricane coming in to shore. It was foreboding and would be destructive.

"I learned that you aren't yourself but once a year," she said causing him to lift his head and looked at her.

"What?" he asked her confused that she would come to that conclusion.

"I saw the real Gavin tonight," she said with a shrug. "Not that I don't like the Gavin that has brought me into this world. But I wonder why the real Gavin only shows up with Pavy?"

"This is the real me," he smiled as he put a finger in her.

"Bullshit," she gasped.

"That little mouth is going to get you in trouble," he warned her gripping her pussy from the inside.

"Then don't lie to me," she said back gritting her teeth not allowing him to dominate her. "Tell me, this Gavin, is the same as the man laughing today at the table. Tell me that, this Gavin, is the same as the one that carried on with Pavy with the whole restaurant watching."

"Maybe that is the fake Gavin," he told her as he began to work her again.

"No," she shook her head. "I could tell."

"How," he asked her as her hips began to rise against his hand as her orgasm began in the pit of her stomach.

"I'm a switch, remember?" she told him with a smile. "I can see you, I can tell by the way you laughed. The Gavin at the table...that was the real Gavin!"

He watched her lift her hips repeatedly, driving herself into his hand as her orgasm spread from her stomach to her legs. Outward it ran, her body warming under it. Her muscles tightening under it.

"May I cum, sir?" she asked him, her voice under duress as her satisfaction built.

"No," he told her, causing her to open her eyes.

"Please?" she pleaded with her eyes.

"No," he denied once again.

"I don't know if I can stop it! Not with your magical fingers!" she warned him.

"You had better figure out a way," he said calmly. She began to bite her lip. She stopped moving her body against his hand drawing a smile from him. He only increased his speed causing her to whimper.

She tried to think of things that would keep her from cumming. She thought of her drawings. She thought of the weather forecast. She thought of a random soccer game as she was flooding her brain with anything and everything to keep herself from thinking of the pleasure he was bringing her.

"Please Sir!" she begged with her voice and her eyes.

"No," he denied again calmly, softly. She saw his secret smile come out and knew she was pleasing him but she forced that from her mind because that would make her cum for sure. Pleasing him was what really caused her body to betray her. Alex gritted her teeth and tried to think of other things.

A grocery list for her apartment. She thought of the last episode of Mad Men, although the fantasies of Don Draper reminded her of the fact he looked a lot like Gavin! She quickly changed her thoughts to shopping. Unfortunately that brought the way he looked at her as she modeled for him.

"Are you going to edge me, Sir?" she asked him as it felt like she was trying to keep back the ocean with a broom.

"No," he chuckled diabolically. "I'm denying your orgasm, there is a difference!"

"Why?" she pleaded. "I thought I was a good girl!"

"You are a very good girl!" he whispered breathily in her ear. The words almost sent her over Niagara Falls in the barrel.

"Fuck!" she barked as she turned her head from him to keep his hot breath from her. Back to thinking about what the Bears needed for the upcoming season. They needed a new quarterback, a wide receiver...she couldn't think anymore!

"Pleeeassseee!" she begged as her legs shook. He shook his head softly, never taking his approving eyes from her.

The Blackhawks won in overtime, she told herself. Sharpie had the game winner. Fuck this wasn't working she told herself. Thinking about hot, hunky hockey players was not going to keep her orgasm at bay.

"Please!" she begged as her face reddened under his manipulations.

"No," he said calmly watching her struggle with it. He was impressed. He didn't have another sub that lasted this long! She thrashed her head from side to side tossing her brown locks wildly about her.

She turned to him and pleaded as she bit her lip hard, he could tell she was going to bring blood if he didn't release her soon.

"I love the way you beg," he smiled as he kissed her lips as she bit them. "Cum for me!" She released her muscles and the cum flooded from her as she barked out a short scream of pleasure into his mouth.

His eyes sparkled their approval at her.

"Such a good girl," he teased as he kissed her sore lips. He continued to work on her and she worried he was going to do that excruciating exercise again. Could she put the animal back in the box once it was released? Or was it like a road map, unable to be folded up and returned?

The next one was already building, she pleaded with her eyes to not have to go through that again.

"Going to cum for me again, little one?" he smiled. She nodded but was afraid to see what he would make her do. Would he edge her, driving her mad? Or would he tell her she couldn't cum again, which would drive her mad? Whatever he did, she assumed madness would be involved.

"I love watching you cum," he told her with a smile. "You are so beautiful when you cum for me."

"May I cum?" she asked with a shaking voice. She knew what the look on his face meant.

"No," he told her. She wanted to cry. Back to baseball she screamed in her head. 

She tried to remember the scores from today's game. She thought about calling her folks. She wanted to tell them she had met a new guy. One that was capable of driving her mad. That before he was done with her, her new address would be the local mental institution. Between the edging and the withheld orgasms. The mind boggling sex, and emotions she was cascading with. They would have to visit their little girl in a rubber room! With one of those strait jackets.

This caused her mind to snap to bondage. How much she like being tied up. She liked Gavin's hands. Shit! Stop thinking about that! She scolded herself as she buried her face in the pillow. It's supposed to rain on Thursday, she would have to remember her umbrella when she went to get Elizabeth. 

Elizabeth! Oh my god, the Goddess! Her sweet pussy and how it tasted! NO! NO! NO!

"Please sir!" she begged. He nodded at her and she gasped as she flooded his hand. Now she could smell it. She could hear it! That was only going to push her to the edge faster.

"I would like to keep doing this to you, but I can tell, that would be impossible!" He giggled. She nodded with a look of desperation. "Cum for me, cum for me little one. Show me what a good little girl you are!"

This sent her rocketing to space! Her body lifted from the mattress as she pressed against his hand and she cried into the pillow to keep Pavel from hearing her. She collapsed into the soft mattress. Her breathing coming in short gasps as he slowed his fingers in her.

"Thank you, Sir," she smiled at him with adoration in her eyes. He kissed her gently as he pulled his fingers up and licked them in front of her.

He reached out to her hip and turned her over. Moving in behind her she pushed up and presented herself to him. Her face resting on the sheets of the bed. She felt him move behind her. His fingers on her hips.

She felt him at her entrance, as soon as she felt his bulbous head pierce her wetness, she drove her hips back in a gasp as her pussy gobbled him up.

"No, no, no, little one," he said griping her hips with his steel fingers. "I'm going to fuck you, not the other way around. I'm the Dom, save the switch persona for Elizabeth!" He warned her. She nodded her head into the silky sheets with an evil grin. She waited for his manhood to drive her into the sweet madness he was so capable of.




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 12



She felt him moving around behind her, the angle of his cock changed. It went from more or less straight in, to move of a downward angle. She looked over her shoulder at him and saw him squatting behind her. His feet on the bed as he hovered over her. She felt him rock forward, pushing himself deeper into her being. Shocking her that he found a way to push his impossibly wonderful cock further in her.

"Fold your arms across your back," he told her. She obeyed immediately. Gripping her forearms with her fingers. He took hold of both her small wrists with one hand. The other he gripped her hair, lifting her off the mattress. 

From this position she was fucked. His cock pounding against her cervix bringing a pleasurable pain. He was impossibly deep and with every thrust she grunted a pleasurable gasp.

He pounded her. This was harder than he had taken her before. He was deeper than he had ever been. She couldn't believe the pleasurable feelings he was raining on her from his squat.

"God I love fucking you!" he growled as he pounded her from behind. 

She wanted to respond, but the words came out in a babble as her orgasm squirted out the edges of her quivering sex, around his cock, and dribbled down the inside of her thigh. If he wasn't fucking her into oblivion, she would have reveled in the fact he made her squirt again!

"I love the way your body responds to me," he continued to tell her gruffly as his rod slammed her. "I love the way your pussy feels! It's tight velvet like feel sucking on my cock!"

Talking dirty to her was driving her mad again. Bellevue! Here I come! Literally. She screamed as her orgasm washed from her. She wanted to collapse to the bed, but couldn't. He was holding her up by her wrists and hair, her legs folded under her. They spread wider, the joints keeping her upright as they would not spread any farther without coming out of their hip sockets. 

Her muscles quivered in her legs. Her stomach ached from the power of her orgasms. She felt her neck crane back as he pulled her hair more, tilting her head to the side so he could kiss her open mouth. His tongue swirling in it like a snake in a bag. She tried to respond but her mouth was absolutely useless! Her body was useless!

He reveled in it! He let go of her hair and her face plopped on the mattress as her ass was driven further up into his assault. He let go of her arms and took her hips with his hands. If she had any strength left, she could have pulled her arms under her but she was beyond that! Gavin had taken her there...again!

With a guttural growl he drove his hips into her causing her to collapse to the bed, his cock bouncing off her cervix again as he was driven impossibly deep within her womb. She felt him buck inside of her. His warmth spreading out in her as his seed shot from his cock, filling her.

"Holy shit," she gasped as he bit into her again. She hoped he was marking her again, her first marks were fading. She was enjoying seeing them in the mirror. A welcome reminder. They reminded her of all that pleasure. He released her skin and she frowned as she knew he hadn't marked her. He was back to the old Gavin. Controlled. Protective.

He covered her body with his and nibble on her ear.

"You are absolutely incredible!" he whispered in her ear.

"Thank you, Sir," she said her favorite three words. "You bring it out of me!"

Gavin woke her with soft kisses, she smiled at them.

"I could go again," she whispered.

"So could I," he laughed alluding to their sex. "But I got a call."

"So, again, I won't wake up with you by my side," Alex frowned. "It's becoming my dream to roll over and see you in the morning light!"

"Sorry," he said softly with a kiss. "I need a favor."

"Anything," she told him turning over.

"I need you to take Pavy to the airport if I'm not back," he said brushing her cheek gently.

"No problem," she smiled. "What time?"

"10," he said kissing her lips.

"Better get up at six then, to roll him out, how grumpy is he with the hangover?" Alex teased.

"Pavy doesn't get hangovers," Gavin laughed. "He's Russian!"

Gavin kissed her deeply as he let his hand drift below her waist and rub her sex.

"You aren't going to be leaving if you start something now," she warned him.

He eased a finger in her.

"Not fair," she whispered enjoying the feel of the invasion.

"I wish I had more time," he whispered against her lips. She whimpered slightly as he pulled his finger from her.

Alex watched him smile at her from the door, once he closed it, she set her alarm on her phone. She then slid over to Gavin's side and inhaled his scent from his pillow. She clutched her arms around it and held it tightly, before returning to sleep.

She was making breakfast when Pavel came in.

"Dobroye utro!" he said cheerfully, walking to the coffee pot. "What the hell is this?"

"Dobroye utro!" she returned. It meant good morning. She laughed as he looked at the coffee maker.

"It's a Keurig," she laughed. "Take a little cup from the wheel there, pick a flavor, and then put it in here." She said showing him how to operate the machine. 

"The little bitch can't even make a pot of coffee anymore?" Pavel groused shaking his head at Gavin's toys about the house.

"I think it's more for everybody else," she told him going back to cooking. "He's been drinking herbal tea."

"You don't have to cook for us! Let's make him take us out!" Pavel said coming to the beauty near the stove.

"He got called out," she told him with a frown.

"Damn rich people," Pavel grumbled as he matched her frown. "I guess I'll take a cab to the airport then."

"No you're not," Alex said with a shake of her pony tail. "I'm driving you!"

"You don't have to do that!" he scoffed.

"It would be my pleasure," she assured him.

Sitting down after serving him, something Gavin would never allow her to do for him, she smiled.

"So, how did he trap you?" Pavel asked her.

"More like I trapped him," Alex smiled over her coffee.

"You are much too good for him," he told her as he enjoyed the taste of her cooking. 

"No way, it's the other way around!" 

"Like him, do you?" Pavel asked, he smiled when Alex nodded. "He likes you, a lot."

She shrugged, but hoped it was the truth.

"I can tell," Pavel continued. "He will try to push you away, don't let him."

"I know," Alex frowned.

"He has tried already?" Pavel asked her. She nodded. She knew she couldn't say too much as Pavel didn't know about Gavin's lifestyle. "He gets scared, I wish..."

"What?" Alex asked him when he stopped talking.

"Nothing," Pavel smiled falsely.

"Pavy," Alex began slowly. "Who is Carla?"

Pavel looked her.

"Me and my drunk mouth," Pavel said closing his eyes and shaking his head. "I know it had to be me as Gavin would never speak her name."

"Yes," she nodded that it was him that let the secret name of Carla out, driving her wild in wonder. "Is she why he won't let anyone close?"

"Yes," was all he said.

"Why?"

"Alex," Pavel shook his head. "If you like him, don't. This conversation will cause him to end it immediately. Carla, is an atomic bomb."

"I need to know what I'm up against," Alex whispered.

Pavel exhaled deeply as he thought about it.

"Does Elizabeth know about her?" Alex asked him causing him to roll his eyes.

"You know that snooty bitch?" Pavel snarled.

"Yes," she smiled at the anger the mere name invoked from the Russian.

"No," he told her. "I doubt anybody but me and Madelyn knows."

Alex shook her head. Madelyn would never tell, so that left Pavel.

"Please," she begged.

"I must caution you," he said leaning forward. "If you bring it up to him, in any manner, it will be over. There will be no fixing it. Not this." Alex looked to the table. "Are you sure?"

Alex nodded fearfully. Would he end it if he found out Pavel and her were discussing it? That's what caused the nauseous fear to form.

"Carla was on her way to being a brilliant doctor," Pavel sighed. "She was every bit as good as Gavin. Pushed him in ways no other could. That's what drew him in, she pushed his boundaries. God he loved her!" Alex felt the sharp stab of jealousy.

"We were at a party," Pavel continued slowly. "Some drugs started going around, she did some. Soft stuff at first, little pot, then a little mushrooms, coke. Then she got hooked on heroin." Alex closed her eyes.

"Gavin almost got kicked out of med school," Pavel frowned. "He would spend all his time looking for her, or taking care of her. Missed a ton of classes, missed out on an opportunity to do his residency at the Mayo Clinic because of her."

"He would spend his days frantically looking for her from drug infested house to drug infested house," Pavel sighed.

"More than once, we almost had the shit beat out of us by the thugs there. We would never take money in our pockets, guys would rob us at gunpoint if we did." Pavel told her. "He started carrying a gun, just to rescue her."

"She was kicked out of med school," Pavel told Alex as she had her breath taken from her as the pain in Pavel's voice told her this was something that hurt Pavel too. "What a waste!"

"I tried to get Gavin to give up on her, she was dragging him down with her." Pavel explained. "Had multiple fistfights because of her. But he loved her. Gavin is so loyal, that he won't give up on someone like that, even though it could mean his own destruction."

Alex took his hand as he stopped talking. It was encouraging him to continue.

"We lost Carla, for about a week," Pavel explained. "We found her being sold for sex, guys lined up to use her. Some paid in drugs, some paid in cash. The dealer was using her to get the money she owed him."

"Oh my God!" Alex gasped.

"Gavin was crushed," Pavel whispered. "I thought that would be the end of it. Should have known better. Gavin just doesn't quit. He took her from there, with his gun out, to defend ourselves. This of course after beating the dealer almost to death. That case was never solved. Thankfully the police didn't give a damn about a beat up drug dealer. I think that still weighs on Gavin as well, the guilt of knowing what he got away with. It took me hours to convince him not to turn himself in."

"He put her in a rehab facility," Pavel continued. "She spent six months there, got cleaned up."

Alex nodded.

"Then she got the diagnosis," Pavel frowned. "She had contracted HIV." Alex blinked rapidly. "I was so worried about Gavin, but he told me he hadn't been with her for almost two years. Since she started disappearing."

Alex's jaw dropped.

"He's been thoroughly tested," Pavel assured her. "It's been almost two decades, so he's clean!" Pavel assured her. He didn't want Alex to think she was in danger.

"No, I know he would never endanger me," Alex assured him.

"One night," Pavel began again. "We were at the library, studying for exams. It was the first time I could get him out of the house. He was afraid to leave her."

"She was gone when we got back," Pavel frowned. "We found her two days later, needle in her arm. Dead."

"Oh my God!" Alex gasped without air.

"Gavin, has never, been the same," Pavel told her with a soft hand to her face. "Until last night."

"No way," Alex shook her head.

"Oh don't," Pavel smiled. "I know better than most, I love him. I would die for him. He cannot fool me!"

"Pavy," Alex tried. "We barely know each other!"

"I know," Pavel smiled. "You know what makes people fall in love?"

"Their heart?" she asked.

"No," Pavel shook his head. "It's more than that, it's deeper. Instinct."

"Instinct?" Alex asked confused.

"Look deep in you," Pavel told her. "Yes your heart beats for him, but it's something else that tells you to try harder for him. I hope you are as tenacious as you appear to be!"

Alex stood with Pavel at the gate, he gave her a warm hug.

"Thanks for the ride," he smiled. "The offer still stands."

"What offer?" Alex asked him with a confused smirk.

"To marry me," he teased with a wink.

"You were drunk, I didn't think that was serious," Alex laughed.

"Tell the asshole I love him," Pavel told her.

"I will," she smiled. "Pavy?"

"Yes?"

"Will he ever let someone close to him?" Alex asked him. Pavel exhaled deeply and studied her. "Maybe I don't want to know. The illusion is good now." She said quickly changing her mind by the way he looked at her.

"Alex," he smiled. "It really depends on you."

"Me?"

"Yes," he nodded. "He will push you away. That is inevitable. I'm sorry." He told her gently. "You just need to be strong enough to not leave him when he tells you to, and you need to find a way to keep it from happening when he tries. Regardless of what he believes is best, if you want him, claim him."

Alex almost laughed. Claim him? That's what a Dom does, he is not a sub. She wished she could tell Pavel that. Make him understand.

"Be safe," Alex told him. "If you need anything, call us!"

"I like the way you said that...us," Pavel told her. "I hope I see you again."

"Me too," she smiled. "One last question."

"Ok," 

"How long does his relationships usually last? How long do I have to convince him?" Alex asked him.

"They average a year," he told her. "Seems like every time I come back for the dog and pony show, he has a new girl. Clock is ticking Alex. I hope you are like another Chicago legend. Michael Jordan knew how to come up clutch! I hope you do too. I want the man to smile all the time like he did last night with you!"



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 13



Hello reader! I want to take a moment thank you for continuing down the road with me! I also want to caution you. I'm taking Elizabeth down a dark road in this chapter. It is necessary. This is a bit of a spoiler but I want you to be aware of what I am about to do. If you don't wish to have the chapter spoiled then skip to the normal Chapter 15* heading and begin reading.

This chapter includes Royce's taking of Elizabeth in a drug induced state. This is rape. I don't condone or approve of this in any fashion, but I need to write what I my heart and imagination has dictated. I think it is where I am supposed to go with this story. This is where I'm taking Elizabeth. 

As far as I know, no one in the BDSM community would approve of such a thing, but I want to write my fiction as I am inspired to do so. This is not what I believe the lifestyle is. It is, however, a fact of life. This goes on. I want my stories to be realistic and dramatic. For entertainment for sure. But I don't mind putting in some realism. I don't mind making you shift uncomfortably in your seat. I want to make you laugh. I want to make you cry. I want you to hate. I want you to feel. That is my job as a writer. 

If you don't want to read about the rape, then skip this chapter. I'm posting it separate because rape invokes strong feelings. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to read this. I will allude to it in later chapters and this chapter isn't one you have to read for fear of missing out on the rest of the story. I, and Elizabeth and Royce, need to go here, but you don't have to follow. It won't affect the rest of the story as my allusions to it in later chapters will keep you up to date. It will also be the only time I will allow any of my characters in the story to experience the graphic nature of this violence. 

If you are offended by this chapter, my deepest apologies. I was torn on whether I wanted to go this route and spent several days in contemplation on whether I should. But for my beloved Elizabeth, I want her to be a cautionary tale. I love her, but I must do what I have to do.

Chapter 15*

"Hello gorgeous!" the soft southern drawl caused her to turn. Elizabeth smiled as she saw him.

"Royce!" Elizabeth smiled out warmly. He took her hand into his soft manicured palm. His eyes lusting after her made her smile. She liked the way this hungry wolf digested her. She also liked to play her games with him as well.

"I was hoping I would see you here," he told her never letting go of her hand.

"I was wondering if your father would send you down," she smiled. "You and New Orleans are not a good combination!"

"No?" he grinned.

"What's this?" she asked tilting his chin to look at a fading bruise on the underside of his jaw.

"Your Master didn't tell you?" he asked her his voice hardening.

"No," she shook her head.

"That is what I'm going to kick his ass about!" Royce said confidently. "He sucker punched me!"

"Gavin hit you?" Elizabeth gasped. "When? Where? How? Why?"

"You sound like a reporter!" he laughed moving close to her. "It was at Madelyn's."

"Because of Kelly?" she gasped.

"No, I think it had more to do with that little pet of his," Royce admitted. "Why do you let him have another, when you can't?"

"What makes you think I can't?" she asked him.

"The fact you haven't let me fuck you properly yet," he told her in a half snarl. "It's probably been a long time since somebody fucked you properly!"

"Trust me," she smiled. "Gavin has no problems in fucking me properly."

"I bet he can't fuck you like I can," Royce whispered cockily.

"Why?"

"You're still walking," he grinned. "I wouldn't need another if I owned you."

"No?" she smiled liking the way he was hitting on her. "Maybe you will get your chance."

"Really?" he smiled.

"Alexandria isn't Gavin's choice, she's mine," she told him of her plan. "She is my replacement, so I can move on."

"No shit?" he grinned.

"No shit."

"So, when can I fuck you?" he asked her brushing his hand across her breast through her shirt in the middle of the street.

"When you can claim me," she told him pushing his hand away with a Cheshire cat grin.

"When?" he asked her hard.

"A few weeks," she told him. "I want to play with her a little myself."

"Hmm," Royce frowned. He ran a finger across her jaw line before he took hold of it firmly. "I don't want to wait!"

"I don't give a fuck," she told him bluntly. "You will wait. If you do anything to violate another's sub...the repercussions would be severe. You know that. It's the one absolute no one will break. Those who violate a Dom's property are ostracized. They also risk losing everything as the full weight of our world turns against them. You want to be somebody, don't fuck that up because you can't wait two weeks."

"You don't want me to wait two weeks," he told her. "Do you?"

"No," she smiled. "But it is what it is. End of story. You can't fuck me."

"I noticed there is some leeway there," he smiled. She smiled.

"Look," she said coming close. "Are you holding anything?"

"I might have something," he told her with a slick grin.

"Coke?" she asked. He nodded. "Tonight? After the conference?"

"What are you going to pay me with?" he asked her as she pulled her hand away.

"I've got money," she said taking a step back as her coworkers came closer to her.

"I don't want your money," he told her with a laugh.

"We'll work something out then," she turned and left with her fellow lobbyists.

Elizabeth pulled back from her line. She rubbed the bridge of her nose as someone came into the restroom. Royce always had the best stuff. When he showed up today it relieved her. She wouldn't have to go looking. Royce always had something. Gavin would never allow her to do drugs, which is why she enjoyed the business trips. He didn't like Royce either. The fact that Gavin struck him made her smile. She wondered if he would have hit him for her. Would Gavin go after Royce if he knew he was supplying her with drugs?

She adjusted herself in the stall and left the bathroom. She rejoined Royce at the table of the strip club.

"Thanks," she smiled at him. "That's exactly what I needed!"

"Are you going to give me what I need?" he asked her.

"I'm not fucking you," she smiled. "Yet." He grinned and nodded.

"What are you going to give me then?" he asked her as he rubbed her lips with his thumb in a hint.

"I can do that," she smiled. "I can do that very well."

"I don't doubt that one bit!" he said as she suckled on his thumb.

They turned down the street headed for the hotel, but Royce didn't want to wait. He pulled her into a darkened alley and kissed her fully on the mouth. She took hold of his head with both hands and devoured him with her mouth. 

He gently nudged her with his hands and she quickly dropped to her knees. Tugging at his pants she yanked down his zipper and pulled him out. She looked up at him and saw the lust in his eyes. She looked down at it. He was smaller than she anticipated. That was a slight disappointment. She was hoping he was large. She gently pulled back his foreskin revealing his head. She smiled up at him as he groaned when she took him in her mouth.

The warmth of her mouth caused him to grow. She liked the feel of him doing that. Starting off semi hard, then the feel of him hardening under her manipulations. Growing larger in her mouth. Forcing her to adjust as he grew. She gripped his ass when he was fully hard. Looking up at him as he peered down at her she dropped all the way down and demonstrated her deep throat skills.

Her mind screamed in disappointment as he wasn't that much of a challenge. While Gavin wasn't a Horse Cock, he was at least a challenge in both girth and length. Royce wasn't. She pulled off slowly, teasing him with her tongue. Looping it around the head.

"I love the way you look sucking my cock," he gasped.

"Thank you," she smiled

"But, I don't do soft!" He told her grabbing her hair in a fistful. He forced his cock down her throat and used his grip and his hips to drive his cock in her mouth. She was caught off guard by his sudden change, but adjusted.

Her body warmed, her pussy began to get wet. She always loved being taken. She loved being treated like a whore. Used. She let him work her. Pulling her hair and driving his cock down her throat. His hips flexing as he drove himself deeper in her mouth. Her nose bouncing off his groin, being tickled by his bushy pubes.

He pulled her mouth off and the saliva dripped from her mouth, she had let it form to provide lube for his semi-assault on her throat. She wasn't having any trouble, she had throated much larger men than him. Even larger than Gavin.

"I want to fuck you," he growled down at her. She shook her head with a smile. "Why?"

"You don't own me," she smiled wickedly.

"I can just rip your little skirt up and fuck you," he threatened.

"You are so close to being somebody," she threatened back. "Don't blow it now." She smiled at her innuendo. "So it's either my mouth, or I leave you like this." He smacked her face. "You think that is going to change my mind?" As she smiled at his playful slap.

He growled as he pulled her face back down on his cock. She laughed inwardly at his anger. Now he wasn't even remotely gentle, taking out his anger on her mouth. Her scalp began to hurt with his yanks, the pain she enjoyed. The reckless abandon as well. Gavin never lost control. Royce was letting his inner animal out and she was reveling in it. Something she had seen in Gavin only a couple of times in their year. She loved being the reason a man lost control of his emotions.

She looked up to see the contortions on his face, he was getting close. She wondered just how he was going to finish. She closed her eyes and enjoyed his manhandling. The way his cock hit the back of her throat, then retreated. 

The smell of stale urine and trash filled her nose as she remembered she was being taken in a dirty alley. She hoped she didn't get any on her skirt. She pulled it up a little to make sure.

Royce was so wrapped up in his impending orgasm he didn't see the disappointment in her eyes as she realized this was already about over. While she enjoyed being taken she wished it would have lasted longer. She was hoping she could push a few more buttons on him. Driving him wild. 

He shot his first wave into her mouth before pulling out and fisting his cock while he yanked her hair back tilting her face up and let the rest land on her face and chin. She smiled while he did so. She loved pushing a man over the edge. With Gavin it was a great challenge, something he rarely let her do. With Royce it was so easy. She enjoyed the power over him, she knew she was in control. Once she had his animal out, he would do anything for his orgasm. A few more pushes and she would get what she ultimately wanted.

He looked down at her cum coated face. She pushed some in her mouth with her finger and sucked it off.

"You look beautiful that way," Royce told her. When she started to clean it off her face he yanked on her hair causing her to yelp in sudden pain.

"No, slut," he barked at her. "You owe me. I want you to walk back to the hotel. Just like that with me. I want everyone in New Orleans to know that you just sucked me off!" She smiled at the wickedness of it. She nodded. He was going to push her boundaries. She was going to enjoy being taken by him.

The next evening Royce winked at her from across the hotel bar. She smiled as she talked with her coworkers. He was sitting at the bar, she was at a table. She pulled her skirt up a bit then adjusted to give him a peek at her undergarments. He grinned sinisterly at the tease while she continued talking with those at the table.

Royce never took his eyes off her. She loved that. It was turning her on. She could tell he was ravaging her in his mind. She wanted that to continue. She would adjust from time to time to give him a tease. After about an hour he had enough. He motioned with his head for her to leave. She smiled and stayed another fifteen minutes before telling everyone she was tired and headed for bed.

He was waiting for her outside her hotel room. Leaning against the wall by the door.

"What took you so long?" he growled at her.

"You don't own me," she smiled as she put her key in the door. He took her by the arm forcefully. She smiled at the accosting.

"You think I won't?" he asked her realizing her smile told him she felt safe. She didn't answer. "I can't wait till you are with me, so I can teach you your place."

"When you own me," she smiled moving close to him. "I won't act like this, I know what you need. I will give it to you!"

"So you are going to drive me crazy until then?" he smiled seeing what she was doing.

"Yes," she opened her door and he followed her in causing her to turn.

"What are you doing?" she asked him with a smile. Her heart leapt into a higher gear. She hoped she was playing this right. 

"I figured after a long day at the conference, you could use something to unwind," he smiled showing her is black bag kit.

"What's that?" she smiled.

"A little H," he smiled.

"Sorry, not my cup of tea," she shook her head as he walked after her as she walked backwards.

"Ever tried it?" he asked her. She shook her head.

"I don't like drugs you can't shake," she told him.

"Relax," he grinned. "Statistically, only about 25 percent get addicted. Your strong, it won't happen to you, it hasn't happened to me."

She thought about it, she had heard about the high it gives. She wanted that feel. Coke was good, but it was losing its appeal.

"It's safe?" she asked him. He nodded.

"I wouldn't let anything harm you," he smiled. She nodded.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed she watched him prepare a needle.

"You can snort this, but to get the real rush, you have to shoot it," he told her as he worked. "That's the best!" Her body shook. Both in fear, and excitement. This was definitely a no-no with Gavin. She didn't know why he was so against the drugs. His moral high ground she assumed. Being a doctor maybe.

Royce brought the needle to her and took her arm.

"NO!" she stopped him. "There is no way Gavin doesn't notice a mark on my arm!"

"The fucking bore," Royce smiled as he shook his head. "Does the guy do anything for fun?" He knelt at her feet.

"Kick your shoes off," he told her. She did so and then pulled her stockings off as he watched her. "The fucking weirdo doesn't have a foot fetish does he?"

"No," she smiled. "Where are you going to put it?"

"Between your toes," he smiled. "That's where I go, that way my father doesn't see it either." She nodded her approval. He picked up her foot and kissed the instep.

"Do you have a foot fetish?" she asked him.

"No, but this is the foot of a goddess," he grinned. 

He carefully place the needle in between the big toe and the next. Looking up at her she nodded her consent.

"This is about to rock your world!" he smiled. She smiled with him. Her last lucid thought was of a hope that Gavin never finds out. He would be furious! 

Slowly inserting the needle she winced as it sharply pierced her skin. He winked at her. The sudden flush of warmth started at her toe and radiated upward. The sudden rush of euphoria caused her to gasp as it hit her full force.

"Oh my God!" she gushed. He smiled up at her. She tried to wet her lips multiple times as the warmth rushed around her body. It was the most exquisite feeling she had ever had. And it was so sudden!

Royce came up to her and kissed her lips. She was all smiles. The feeling was fantastic, a high she hadn't had in a long time. The warmth, the quickened breaths, the sudden rush of happiness! It all hit her at once, like a tidal wave of pleasure.

Her arms became heavy, her legs unable to move. Royce lay her back gently as he stretched out along side of her.

"This feels fantastic!" she gasped. Royce traced his finger along the edge of her top, down her cleavage. He slowly slid a hand inside her bra and cupped her breast. 

"No," she smiled as she tried to push his hand away.

"I'm just feeling you," he smiled. "Nothing more." He continued to touch her. Her arms becoming heavy. As were her eyelids, she was struggling to keep them open. His touch felt wondrous on her skin. The feel of the drug as it rushed through her system combined with his hands made her wet.

Something he noticed as he slipped his hand up her skirt. She didn't ever realize he was there until he had his fingers inside of her panties. She had thought he was still on her breast. She attempted to push his hand but found her arms too heavy to lift. The feel of his hand on her sex caused her to gasp. 

The feel was compounded by the drug. She knew that. She had some of her best orgasms when she was high, it simply brought all the sensations out.

Royce watched her fade in and out of her senses. Going to land of Nod he called it. The half-awake, half-sleep feel. He could see the rush, then the rest. He had done this enough to know he just needed to wait until she was in Nod, then he could finally have her. 

He undid her top and revealed her to his eyes. She had spectacular nipples! He lowered himself to her and took one in his mouth. It felt heavenly. A forbidden fruit! He looked up to see her eyes open briefly a small smile then her eyes closed again.

He took the other nipple in his mouth and brought it taught. His body was revving. He rubbed himself through his pants. Stroking his hardness. He undid the zipper on her skirt. Standing up he slowly pulled it off of her. Causing her breasts to shake back and forth as he tugged the tight fitting skirt off.

She shook her head at him but was in no condition to stop him. He knew that. She said he was going to have her in two weeks. So it was just a timing issue. One she will deal with. He would make it up to her. She would be mad, but he could change her mind.

Pulling her top off, she was now all but naked in front of him. He yanked her panties down, that was the last barrier keeping him from her. He marveled in her beauty. How did she wind up with Gavin? She deserved someone better. Someone who could take her places. Someone like him! He could convince her of that, and wash whatever guilt she had away.

Taking her sex into his mouth he found her wet. This pleased him. She may be high, but her body was responding to the situation. She wanted him to take her. That's what he figured! His tongue in her caused her to twitch. When she didn't respond the way he wanted he was disappointed. He wanted her fully involved! But his body, his mind wouldn't let him stop now. He had wanted her for too long. He was going to have her.

Shucking his clothes from his body he stroked his cock as she looked at the goddess before him. Pushing her legs apart with his knees, he crawled up in between. He guided his cock to her entrance and put the head poised just above it. Her eyes opened briefly and she smiled at him. Her hand coming to her face and almost slapping herself as she had little control of her limbs.

Royce watched her face as he entered her. It was somewhat anti-climactic. She didn't do much of anything. No response, no pleasure. No rage for his violation. He frowned. This wasn't going to be like he wanted.

He left himself there as he thought about what to do. He then decided he was committed now. There was no turning back. He began long slow thrusts into her as he propped himself up over her with his palms on the bed, his arms outstretched. He frowned again. It wasn't what he was hoping for.

He pulled out and flipped her over. Pushing his cock back in her he began to fuck her harder. His hips slamming into her fine ass filling the room with the echo of skin on skin slapping. It was music to his ears. He dropped his mouth to her back but then remembered he couldn't mark her. That would ruin everything. No, he could only fuck her now. He would mark her later.




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 13



She grunted under his heavy thrusts. Her hands grabbing at the sheets. This inspired him to drive harder. He took it as an approval. The warmth of her wet pussy caused his balls to churn. The smell of her perfume mixed with their sex made his nose twitch. It was all too intoxicating.

He pulled her hair to the side and watched her. Her beauty inspired him to drive harder, deeper. He lifted his knees to the bed and forced his cock deeper. He was frog fucking her now, at his deepest apex. He was reveling in her feel. Her scent. Her everything.

Cumming with a shudder and a growl of satisfaction he felt his cock convulse deep in her. Bucking against her soft folds as it spewed into her like a volcano shooting its lava. He collapsed on top of her. His breathing erratic and shallow.

Rolling off of her, he tried to suck in deep breaths.

"God I need to get into shape!" he growled at himself.

He pulled her up to the top of the bed and threw the covers on her. He then went to the other side and got in bed himself. He turned over and looked at her. She was beautiful, and she was going to be his in a couple of weeks. He fell asleep looking at her.

Elizabeth woke up, the sun was coming in the cracks of the curtain. The fog of the drug hangover kept her from realizing what had happened. She remembered flashes. She remembered Royce giving her a shot. She remembered the euphoria as the drug rushed through her system. The hot wave that made her gush with approval. She hadn't had that high in so long! Now she knew why Royce liked it so much. It was like nothing she had ever had.

She rolled over, that's when she realized she was naked. She also realized Royce was in her bed.

"Holy fuck!" she gasped. 

She thought it was a dream. Now she knew it wasn't. He fucked her.

"No, no, no!" she gasped sitting up. She felt herself and felt the sticky residue of his cum. "No dammit no!"

"What's wrong?" he asked her sleepily.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" she barked getting out of bed. "You raped me!"

"I did not," he gasped.

"Did I give you permission to fuck me?" she raged.

"No, Beth," he tried as she started to cover herself with clothes. "Listen, you said I could have you."

"In two weeks you dumb shit! I still belong to Gavin!" she said the tears brimming in her eyes.

"It's just a matter of timing then," Royce told her.

"And my vow!" she cried out sitting down.

He went to her. And stroked her hair.

"Look," he said softly. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself! You were so beautiful and so sexy!" She shook her head. "You brought out my inner devil." She sat back, away from him.

"Don't be like that," he said his tone hardening. "You wanted me."

"I do, but under my conditions!" she barked bringing a hand to wipe the tear away.

"I'm sorry," he tried. She rolled her eyes and tried to get up but he forced her back down.

"I could report you!" she threatened.

"Silly girl," he shook his head. Her stomach rolled at the condescending tone. "I'm above that, and you know it!"

"No, you are not! I can ruin you!" she pushed her way by him.

"And ruin your shot?" he said as he took her place in the chair.

"What?" she turned.

"What I am about to tell you is completely off limits for anyone else," he said to her. He waited for her to nod her agreement before he continued with his revelation. 

"My father will be vacating his seat next year to run for the senate. He already has it arranged with the governor to put me in his seat," he told her with a slick smile.

"What?" she gasped. He nodded.

"My name is all that needs to be on the ballot," he smiled. "Once I finish his term, then I will run on my own. Nobody runs against my family. I will win in a landslide."

"What does that have to do with me?" she asked him. She hoped he was talking about what she was hoping for.

"Well," Royce smiled as he realized it was working. "My father says to win and stay moving forward, I need a family persona. That starts with a wife."

"What makes you think I want to get married?" she asked him.

"Because you want what I want," he told her bluntly. "Look, my father is working overtime accumulating favors. Lots of favors, both sides of the aisle."

"He is going to run for President?" Elizabeth asked him.

"No," Royce smiled. "He saving that for me." 

"What?" she took a step towards him for the first time as she realized he was not only speaking her dreams, but also the truth.

"My father believes it's too late for him to make a run," Royce explained. "But if I do well, if I get my ducks in a row. He will call in all his favors and I can make a run."

"He wants you to be President?" Elizabeth smiled. Royce had her and he knew it.

"It all starts with a wife, then a family, got to look the part," he smiled.

"I don't believe in marriage!" Elizabeth scoffed.

"You don't have to!" he smiled. "It could be an arrangement. I'd be cool with that!"

She dropped her head and thought about it.

"Don't tell me you didn't think about this long before, you have wanted to hitch your star to mine for a long time now. Together we can do what Bill and Hillary Clinton did. Push me to the top, then perhaps, you can be a Senator, like Hillary. Once I have the power of being president, my family will be Kennedy like!"

"The question becomes," he said coming to her. "Do you want it? If you don't, then go ahead and go to the police, or go to Gavin. Tell him I injected you with heroin. That will go over really well with Mr. Goody-Goody. He might buy that I raped you. I don't think Gavin is going to care. He will look at the fact you disobeyed his orders about the drugs and got what you deserve. He will toss you aside for his new pet. I will shun you as I can't do anything but protect myself from your allegations."

"It's a calculated risk," he continued. "Taking me on, my father is powerful, you wouldn't be the first girl to come out of the woodwork making an accusation such as this. Once the drug history comes out, people will forget you. They will say you had it coming. That you wanted it. It will be your word, against one of the most powerful families in America. How has that worked out in the past? Chappaquiddick? Michael Kennedy, Joe's brother, fucking the fourteen year old babysitter? William Smith, the nephew, in Florida?"

"We are the new Kennedys," Royce told her. "Hell even Bill had an affair with Monica! Where is she now? Nowhere. The butt of jokes. Are you willing to risk that? Or do you want to help me to the White House?"



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 14



Chapter 16

Alex dropped her purse off on the table as she sorted through her mail. Nothing, as usual.

"Hey stranger!" Lena called out.

"Hey!" 

Alex turned the corner and Lena was on a chair changing the light bulb in the overhead light.

"Don't fall," Alex marveled. 

"What's with that look?" her roommate asked seeing the grin on her roommates face.

"Well," Alex smiled crossing her arms. "I thought you were afraid of heights or something, because you would never change that lightbulb before! It could be out for days and you would still leave it for me!"

"Well," Lena shrugged. "I guess it's because my roomie isn't around much anymore!"

Alex frowned. She hadn't thought about how this new relationship was going to affect Lena.

"Don't," Lena warned her seeing her disappointment. "I was teasing! I am super happy you finally have a guy!"

"Finally?" Alex asked with a tapping of her foot in mock anger.

"Honey," Lena said getting off the chair. "It had been so long I thought poor Gavin was going to have to dust it off!"

"Hey!" Alex defended with a smile. Lena shrugged.

"So?"

"It was fantastic," Alex smiled. 

"Come over here and fill me in!" Lena smiled taking her by the arm and leading her to the couch.

"There is nothing to fill in!" Alex tried.

"Bullshit!" Lena gasped. "You are a kinky bitch, I want to know what deviate behavior you have had to do!"

Alex laughed, but Gavin's discussion from the airport came back. That their lifestyle was labeled deviate. Lena meant it as a joke, but there it was. The first words out. Deviate.

"Nothing too bad," Alex assured her. "There really is nothing deviate about it."

"Come on!" Lena laughed. "All Paul and I do is the missionary position! If he is being lazy I get to be on top to spice it up! I want some freaky sex, so I have to live vicariously through you! Now details!"

"What do you want to know?" Alex laughed as Lena folded her arms.

"I don't care," Lena told her. "Let's start off with the craziest place!"

"Well," Alex smiled. "I gave him a blow job in a stall of the men's room in an upscale restaurant." She smiled with an embarrassed shrug as her face heated up.

"What?" Lena gasped. Just then Alex's phone went off and she was thankful. She smiled and showed Lena it was Gavin. She nodded.

"Hey," she said into the phone, she tried to get up but Lena took her by the arm to keep it from happening.

"Did Pavy get off alright?" Gavin asked her.

"No problems," Alex assured him.

"What did the drunk big mouth tell you that he shouldn't have?" Gavin's question was hard and she held her breath as she wondered what he meant. Did Pavel call him and warn him that Alex knew about Carla? Would he be pissed off she knew?

"What do you mean?" Alex asked cautiously.

"I mean the guy will say anything to get me in trouble," Gavin laughed. The laughter meant this had nothing to do about Carla. Thankfully.

"Well," Alex smiled sheepishly. "He told me you went on a honeymoon, but didn't get married?" Gavin growled on his end of the phone. 

"I told you not to believe anything he says, right?" Gavin reminded her.

"You did, but after all I learned last night, I get the feeling that the more time I spend with Pavy, the more I'm going to learn about you!" She laughed. "I noticed you didn't outright deny the story."

"Christ! I was in high school!" Gavin defended.

"Well perhaps you should just tell me, or I'm going with Pavy's version," she teased.

"What did he tell you?"

"He said, you were having this fling with a chick you worked with at a restaurant," Alex smiled at Lena who was hanging on every word. "She got married, but it wasn't your typical wedding, while the groom went out that night drinking with his buddies, she came into work and saw you."

"Fuck," Gavin hissed. "She was pissed that he left on their wedding night," Gavin explained slowly. "She came in and we went out afterward. I...I can't believe he told you this story."

"And you fucked her, so she could have her revenge," Alex finished for him laughing into her hand. "Well every bride should get laid on her wedding night, traditionally it's the groom, but in a pinch...a gorgeous dark knight will do just fine!" She defended for him.

"I'm going to kill him," Gavin growled. Alex laughed as Lena covered her mouth in disbelief.

"Not denying any part of that story I see," Alex pointed out.

"Anything else?" Gavin asked her. Alex held her hand over the mouthpiece while she controlled her laughter. "Oh damn I hate him!" He growled. "What?"

"Well...," Alex laughed.

"Never mind," Gavin interrupted. "I don't want to know."

Elizabeth sat at a table in lounge. The papers from the conference lay in a scattered mess on it. She had tried to put last night out of her mind. It wasn't working, she had been distracted all day. 

The events of last night came in struggled thoughts. There was Royce, on his knees injecting her with heroin. There was the feeling of elation as the drug pumped through her. Then it all faded into a dream like state. She remembered Royce on her. Felt him in her. She was unable to say anything. She then was on her stomach. Royce still in her. Having his way with her and she was unable to stop it. On one hand she was angry that Royce took advantage of her. On the other hand, she had her ultimate desire.

Royce's promise that if she left Gavin and became his sub he would let her ride his coat tails to Congress. The promise that Royce's father would help Royce become President. 

If Royce wasn't lying to her, she could be a First Lady. If Royce wasn't lying. If nothing else she would be a congressman's wife. That in itself would be higher than she ever dreamed of. But a shot at the White House? Ridiculous. Only if Royce wasn't lying to her. He could very well be covering his ass. He knows he fucked up, could this all be a ploy to pacify her? To keep her from ruining him?

The rest of what he said the next morning after finding him in her bed bothered her as well. It was a threat. A subtle one. The threat of if she try to ruin him he would in turn ruin her. He would use the drugs against her. It would end the relationship with Gavin. She would be humiliated. She would be just another woman who would be ridiculed in the press if she went with just her word. She would have to rectify that.

"Hey," the voice drew her head up and she smiled pleasantly. It was one of her coworkers.

"Did you understand any of that shit?" the woman asked as she sat down.

"No," Elizabeth laughed at the dry statistic filled lecture they had to endure.

"You ok?" the woman asked her. "You look a little run down."

She did feel run down. She assumed it was an after effect of the heroin. She felt sluggish and her head hurt. She rubbed her toes under the table. The injection site itched as well. She remembered that is where Royce injected her, in between her toes, to keep it from Gavin. She would have to stay away from the needles until she was away from Gavin. She would also have to stay away from Royce. She couldn't go back against her vow with Gavin.

"Look," Elizabeth told her coworker. "I'm gonna hit the sack early, see if I can shake this bug before it gets started. See you in the morning for another fun filled day of dronery!"

Elizabeth sat at the desk working on the computer. She was waiting for Royce. She had texted him to meet her in the room. He never responded so she wondered if he even got it. The knock at the door told her he did.

Opening the door she saw him with champagne in his hands.

"I figured if you were going to turn down my offer you would have done it over the phone," he smiled holding up the bottle.

"There are some things I want to get straight," Elizabeth said moving away from the door.

"Ok," Royce frowned. "Sounds ominous."

Waking in she pointed to the chair and he sat. She smiled and took the bottle from him. Popping the top she poured them drinks.

"I want it on the record that what you did was wrong," she told him handing him a glass of champagne. "You took advantage of me, while I was passed out!" He nodded with a frown.

"Look," he began with a shake of his head. "I said I was sorry! You were just so damn sexy...I didn't think you would mind really. I mean you are leaving Gavin and are wanting to be with me...it was just a matter of poor timing!"

"No," Elizabeth said. "I decide if and when we fuck. I was out, you should have respected the fact I couldn't give you my permission and left me. But you didn't. You raped me."

"Rape is a strong word," Royce told her with a firm voice. 

"What would you call it? Better yet, what would Gavin or a court of law call it? A woman, unconscious? You fucked me without permission, knowing I would have never given it to you!" 

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? Fine, I'm sorry," he told her standing up. She dropped her head.

"You think that is enough?" Elizabeth asked him. 

"I said I would make it up to you," Royce said with a tender hand to her face. "What do you want me to say? How can I make it up to you?"

"You can admit to me, for my conscious, that you raped me. That I had nothing to do with it. I didn't lead you to believe it would be ok," She said with a tear.

"I admit it," He said tilting her head up. "I took advantage of you."

"You raped me," she repeated.

"I raped you," he told her softly. "I can't take it back."

"Don't ever do it again," she warned him. "I belong to Gavin. Until that is over, I have a vow. Do you understand me?"

"I understand," he smiled. "Forgiven?"

"Only if you hold up your end of the bargain," she told him heading for the door. "I think you should leave, I don't want to screw up my last few weeks with Gavin. If he finds out you were in my room...he will know we fucked, I can't live with that if he knows. You keep your mouth shut, I will do the same."

He went to the door and looked down at her.

"Are you going to the White House with me," Royce asked her. She didn't answer, her smile was answer enough. Royce winked at her.

"Think about leaving him sooner rather than later," Royce said with soft plead. She nodded.

Once he was gone she leaned against the door and wiped the tear away. She went back to the computer and pulled up the video record function. She hit stop. That went better than she expected it to. Now if he backed out. She would ruin him! She also had proof for Gavin. If he found out that Royce fucked her, she had proof that she didn't want it. He would still be pissed about the drugs, but that could be forgiven. Violating his absolute of not sharing, well that couldn't be.

Chapter 17*

Alex was busily making dinner when his hands enveloped her around her narrow waist. His lips were next to touch her and it caused a river of shivers down her back. She gasped as she reveled in the soft feel of his warm lips.

"You don't have to cook for me," he whispered as he nuzzled her neck, pushing her pony tail to the side with his face so he could hit that one spot that always made her a puddle.

"I want to," she smiled as her legs quivered.

"So, Pavel got off ok?" he asked her.

"What-ever do you mean, Sir?" she teased as she dropped her whisk and gripped the side of the counter.

"What?" He asked, pulling his lips from her neck as the taste of her flesh was blinding him to the question. He then laughed at the unintended innuendo. "I love your dirty mind."

"Yes, he made the plane just fine," she smiled. 

She kept her fingers gripping the counter to keep herself from touching him. That's what she wanted to do, to spin and put her hands on him. She never realized how much of a 'hands on' type person she was. She guessed it was because in her drawings and paintings she was touching the person she was drawing at all times.

"My dinner is going to burn," she warned him.

"I hope it's not the only thing on fire!" he teased, licking up the nape of her neck causing her to shiver uncontrollably. 

They were eating dinner and Alex couldn't help loving the feel of the atmosphere. It was what she had been wanting. Gavin alone. No distractions. No Elizabeth. No party. Hopefully no phone calls.

"This is delicious," he complimented from behind his wine glass.

"Thank you, Sir," she beamed. "I love cooking. I love doing things with my hands despite those who like to keep me from it!"

"I have no idea what you are referring to," he laughed. She rolled her eyes with a playful smile.

"How was your appointment?" 

"It was fine," he grimaced. It told her it wasn't fine.

"I love that you protect me at all times," she said shaking her head. "But do you think sometimes it does me a disservice?"

He looked at her and frowned.

"Look, like I said, there are some that shouldn't be Doms. They don't know how to control the situation. They risk too much. They go too far. It's easy to do in this lifestyle. You complain about the fact that I never let myself go, well that's why. I see the after of going too far, too often," he said setting his wine glass to the side.

"Was the sub alright?" she asked.

"Yes, he'll be fine," he shrugged. He then folder his hands under his chin and began to devour Alex from across the table.

"It blows me away that there are male subs!" Alex laughed. "So his mistress went too far?"

"Yes, even women can take it too far," Gavin nodded. "I stopped by Madelyn's on the way back and checked on Kelly." He said hoping to hide some of the darkness of his world with some good news for her.

"How is she?" 

"She is good," Gavin nodded. "Her throat should be fully healed in the next couple of weeks. She is meeting a new Dom next week."

"Already?" Alex asked the concern filling her.

"Yes," Gavin smiled noticing her concern for a woman she barely knew. "He's a good man, this will be his third sub so she won't have to go into anything right off."

"Three subs?" Alex gasped.

"Yeah," Gavin said with a disapproving voice. "He likes to have several, a harem, if you will."

"Why don't you like that?" Alex asked him getting up and moving closer to him.

"I like the one on one closeness," he told her as she knelt at his feet. 

She put her head on his leg and stroked his inner thigh.

"Stuff like this," he smiled as he stroked her pony tail softly. Running his fingers through her hair, starting at the knot of the bind in her hair and moving down to her free flowing hair.

"You can still have this," she smiled. "And have more than one sub."

"Alright," he laughed. He wanted to prove a point. A point he knew for a fact. "Let me ask you this, and be perfectly honest with yourself, even if you can't be with me."

"I'm always honest with you," she said in a hard tone that he smiled at.

"Have you not had a moment in the three weeks we have been together, where you looked at Elizabeth and didn't like her?" He asked with a gentle tug of her hair. "Where you didn't want her to be there. Or were just flat out jealous?"

"In all honesty," Alex smiled as she kissed his leg. "Yes."

"See?" he smiled. "Jealousy is very common in our world."

"I know," she laughed. She hated to admit he was right. She was afraid he would use it later against her. "I am a part of it. The kittens hate me!"

"Hate is a strong word," he smiled.

"Candy would claw my eyes out if she thought it would let her take my place," Alex laughed.

"Oh Candy!" he laughed. "Not even remotely interested in that one."

"That one?" 

"Oh don't start!" he teased.

"No," she smiled. "I guess you're right. I am jealous. Jealous of Elizabeth. Jealous that she has you and I don't. I mean, if Elizabeth stays...," she let her voice trail off.

"If Elizabeth stays," he smiled at her. "What happens?"

"You will push me away," she said picking up her head and looking at him. "Your absolutes will win out. If Elizabeth at some point says she is not leaving. I will be the one left standing when the music stops."

"You think that?" Gavin asked her with a cocked head.

"I know that," she frowned. "So, part of me hopes she leaves quickly. Part of me hates that I want that. And part of me is just utterly confused at how this is all happening."

"You said it yourself," Alex frowned putting her head back down. "It's the sub that decides to end it. You decide to start it, but the sub, always...always, decides when it stops. If Elizabeth stays on, you will push me away. That I know as fact."

"Yet, here you are," he smiled putting his fingers on her skin. "Kneeling at my feet."

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?" she asked him.

"You can," he smiled. "It's not a big deal with me, I like the submissive position but not necessarily at my feet. Although right now, I loving it!"

"And that, for sure, is what I'm supposed to do, please you," she sighed. "I love doing that. I can't explain why that is. I can't explain why I have the drive to please you! It overwhelms me. Consumes me. I can think of nothing else. Have you put some spell on me?"

"I have," he whispered. "It's called pleasure. You are reciprocating the pleasure I have given you. It's an innate desire humans have. To repay. It can be both good and bad. Vengeance and repayment of pleasure. Two primal desires not yet stifled by civilization!"

She looked up at him and saw the fire crackling in his eyes. Desire. Another human trait not yet stifled she smiled.

"How can I please you sir?" she asked him kissing his hand.

"Stand up," he said softly. 

She obeyed immediately and he pulled her in between him, seated in his chair, and the table. He slowly undid the buttons on her blouse, never dropping his eyes from hers. He slid his fingers along the edge of her bra cups causing her flesh to raise in pleasured bumps. 

His fingers went up and over her clavicle, pushing the blouse from her and she let it drop to the table. His fingers came back down, lightly brushing her skin, down the center of her chest, across the soft globes of her breast which rose and fell quickly with her ever quickening breaths. 

He didn't look at her, not in the face. He watched his fingers lightly touching her. He seemed fascinated by them. The way they felt on her. The way her skin responded to his touch. The way her soft brown skin, tanned by the sun, seemed to warm as he went. Like he was pushing a fire from the tips of his fingers into her skin. 

Pulling her bra cup slightly he saw the color difference, from soft brown to the white from where her bikini covered her. He liked that. It was unlike Elizabeth who had just the one color. The milky white as she never went outdoors. 

Down his electric fingers went, causing her to sigh. He smiled at the sound. Another pleasure of his. The sighs of pleasure. Unintended noises made by his subs letting him know that they were pleased. 

Down to her skirt waist. Down the outside of her hips to the hem in her soft skirt. It was loose and free flowing. Easily accessible for his hands. Not tight like Elizabeth's. He liked the differences. A world of differences. 

Up the outside of her thighs, the stockings she was wearing to drive him crazy. She told him she was never a big fan of them. But she recognized the look in his eye when she paraded around in them when she modeled a new outfit before he bought them for her. There was something sexy about black stockings, attached to garters.

He ran his fingers along the edge of them. Her legs opened easily, he felt her warmth between her legs. The thong she was wearing was easy to move to the side and he felt her wetness. He let his fingers drift through her soft pubic hair. It's soft line leading to pleasure. His and hers.

He put his head on her stomach and cupped her ass in his strong hands. He was fighting his own demons. He wanted to ravage her. To consume this delicious piece of sweet dessert. A perfect dessert to a perfect dinner. Her flesh. His dark demon begging to be released on her. To show her why he was so careful to control himself.




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 14



"Don't," she whispered.

"Don't what?" he asked never lifting his head.

"Deny yourself," she said softly.

"I can't," he closed his eyes. She wasn't making this easy.

"Take me," she begged. "I want all of you!"

"I can't," he said again. This time a little less convincing. "If I were to hurt you..."

"I have my safe words," she reminded. "I am protected. You won't harm me!" 

He shook his head as it rested on her abdomen. She was killing him as his dark side nudged closer to the surface.

"Take me," she said again. 

His fingers dug into the soft underside of her ass cheek, as he lifted her and set her on the table gruffly. He stood and she leaned back, her hands acting as props to keep herself upright as his mouth ravaged hers with a force she desired. Their teeth clicking off one another by his shear force. His tongue demanding servitude from hers. Her smile covered by his mouth, but this is what she wanted. Her body exploded in a summer heat, simmering like the heat waves off the pavement in a mid-day sun.

With one hand he took hold of her pony tail and with a twist of his wrist, her head was drawn sharply back or he would remove hair by the roots. She hissed in pain. He looked at her eyes and saw a glimmer. Not quite fear, but nervousness.

She watched the storm in his eyes. The fight of good versus evil within him, when he pulled her hair she tingled slightly. He brought his free hand up and took hold of her jaw tightly. He licked her lips with his tongue. She brought her tongue out to play with his.

"I didn't fucking ask for your tongue," he warned her and she pulled back in. With the tight hold of her hair, her mouth seemed forced open and available to him. Her throat was enticingly inviting him. Like he was some sort of dark creature that Hollywood was so infatuated with.

His teeth dug into her neck and she winced at the gnashing of his pearly whites there. His mouth moved slowly to her ear as he devoured every inch. His free hand pulled her breasts from their cups and the nipples hardened almost immediately in the coolness of the air conditioning and his manipulations. Or perhaps they were already hard from the eroticism of the moment.

He ran his tongue down her throat, pausing at the notch in the base of her throat. She gasped as he bit there. Hard. She wanted to look down at him. To get a read of him. But his constant yank of her hair had her scalp tingling in subtle pain.

Farther down his tongue led. Circling a nipple made her smile. His mouth clamping down on her nipple and areola caused her to jump. His teeth grinding on her still sensitive nipples from the other day. 

She yelped and he released it. He looked at the red blood rushing to where he had just clamped. Just under the skin causing it to darken. He continued. Over to the other nipple taking it just as forcefully. She gritted her teeth. He released her and watched it darken up. His inner darkness reveling in how receptive her skin was. How easy it was to mark her as his. She was his the dark side growled in his head. 

He stood up and looked at her face. She was stunning. Her neck craned and every delicious inch of her was available. He ran his hand around her throat and squeezed. He felt her try to swallow, something she did with difficulty with his hand there and her head back.

Coming back up to her face he peered into her blue eyes. He reveled in that. Her eyes a soft blue, wondering.

"Is this what you wanted little one?" he asked her harshly. "You wanted the wolf?"

"Yes, sir," she whispered.

"What if you can't handle it?" he growled biting her lip with his teeth. The soft taste of copper hit his taste buds. He pulled back and saw the soft line of crimson.

"I'll work on it, to get better," she whispered. She let her tongue go out and tasted the blood. She shook nervously. This was not what she was expecting. This was something else. She thought about her safe words. Would he stop if she used them? She hoped so. Not yet she decided. He wouldn't harm her. That she knew. That she felt in her deepest recesses. He would never harm her. Never. 

He looked down at the mixture of saliva and blood on her lip. She saw the wolf in his eyes lighten. As if the wolf was sulking away from her.

"No!" she barked out. "I want the wolf!" She begged. His eyes went back to the stare. His face hard. His jaw muscles flexing. His fingers took her nipple tightly and she gasped under their force. Pulling them outward as he squeezed making them cone up as her skin was stretched. He released it and it snapped back into place.

"Green," she said as he looked at her hard. He took the other and gave it a similar treatment. This one he held a little longer. Pulled a little farther out. And held it tighter between his thumb and forefinger. "Green," she repeated under duress causing him to chuckle diabolically as he released her.

"To break you?" he growled. "Should I make you use a safe word?" He searched her eyes. She didn't answer as she could tell she should say nothing. It wasn't a question for her to answer. It was one for him and his wolf. So she waited.

His fingers moved slowly down her stomach and back under her dress. Gripping her panties he curled his fingers around it. He felt the dampness in her pussy. His ravenous smile came out. Her breathing, she decided, was more suited for a sprint race. Her breast heaved with every breath. Her face flushed with heat. Fuck she was loving this! This not knowing what he was going to do. It appeared he was taking whatever he desired. That she loved!

She saw his jaw muscles tighten and he jerked on her panties causing her ass to lift off the table as the cloth dug into her skin causing her to cry out before she clutched her lips closed. She heard the cloth rip, but it didn't give way on the first yank. So he yanked again, this time harder, he would have pulled her off the table put his fistful of hair kept her in place. With one final yank they came free from her body and she saw the destroyed satin in his knuckles.

He pulled it to his nose and inhaled deeply while her hips and inner thigh screamed at the burn of the cloth that had dug into her. She watched as best she could. Her head back made that a challenge. Her neck muscles ached as she tried to watch him. Mesmerized.

He released her hair and she lifted her head slowly to watch him. She pulled her lower lip in and felt the tenderness of where he drew blood. That shocked her. She knew she was on fire, but she didn't know if that was the reason. Or was it what was coming? The unknown. He pushed her on the chest and she went back to lie on the table. The leftover food from dinner under her.

He sat in his chair and pulled her to the edge of table. Draping her legs over his shoulders he inhaled her scent first. Drawing in her essence. His mouth watering. He buried his face without warning causing her to cry out in surprise and pleasure. His face firmly planted in her sex. Not like before where he held his face back from her and only used his mouth and tongue. This felt like he was using his face to fuck her. His tongue was there as well, but the pressure let her feel his nose, his lips. His jaw. His teeth.

She craned her neck at the feel of it. Causing her back to arch. She gripped the table, her nails digging into the mahogany. Her body began to twist as her orgasm began to build like a boiler. Why this was making her boil faster, had her nervous. Was she like Elizabeth? Would she be wanting this all the time?

His face lifted as her orgasm rushed from her. She didn't even try to hold back the scream of pleasure this time as it rushed from her lungs and out her mouth to fill the room. Neighbors be damned! She collapsed on the table with a thud. A small bead of sweat trickled off her forehead and down her temple. This was so hot she was sweating and gushing! She felt the trickle of cum down the crack of her ass, only to feel his tongue draw it up into his mouth. His tongued jabbing at her anus.

He lapped at her now. Full tongue, flat against her sex, from the bottom of her slit to the top of her clit causing her to lurch at every apex lick. He drove his fingers in her, three of them causing her cry out and wince. He flicked his tongue on her button while he fucked her with his fingers. Nothing soft. All forceful. His tongue like a hammer on her sensitive button. His fingers pounding in her like they were trying to stuff her innards back in.

Her cum came in a gush causing the sound of squishing to fill her ears as she screamed out. Her body twisted on the table, her top half on her side, the bottom half flat as he held her there. His face buried into her thigh, just to side of her sex and she yelped as he marked her again. The smile she wore was a mixture of supreme pleasure and slight pain as the wolf ravished her.

Suddenly his fingers were gone. As was his mouth, before she could sit up he yanked her from the table causing her nails to clack against the wood as she couldn't release them fast enough.

He had her on her feet but spun her gruffly as he stood. Shoving her face down on the table she narrowly missed the butter dish with her face. Holding her down with the palm of his hand in between the shoulder blades she knew better than to adjust her positon. She thought about the last time someone took her like this. It ended in disaster. Her ass sore for days. She looked back and him as she felt him use one hand to undo his pants and drop them, his cock sprung from its enclosure and hit her sex causing her to gasp in revelation.

He slammed it into her. No warning, no initial probing to let her know he was about to enter her. She felt the hot, heavy head against her soft warm folds of her sex, then suddenly she was filled by it. His weight causing her hips to dig into the edge of the dining room table. She reached out and took hold of the sides again.

He took a fist full of hair and pulled her head up and forced her neck to crane. His hips slammed into her, driving her against the table. The pleasure of his hard shaft splitting her apart, followed by the sharp sting of the table digging into her hips. She tried to back up a bit to keep the table from digging into her but his power made that impossible. Each and every stroke slammed her back into it.

She cried out blissfully, a mixture of pain and carnal pleasure. His growl caused her to cum. She had awoken the beast. The wolf he called it. She was ecstatic about it. He wasn't holding back. He was fucking her. Not concerned about her pleasure at the moment. Just his and that in turn brought her a new found pleasure. One of complete submissiveness.

He slammed his body into her with such force that the dishes on the table jumped with every powerful thrust. A sudden clash of porcelain caused her to look to see her plate no longer on the table. It was violently shoved off by his powerful fucking. Her pussy began to throb. His fingers, her orgasms and now his powerful cock beating her from the inside out. It wasn't used to this. 

She cried out on every thrust, her body began to ache. From where the table dug into her hips. Her nipples hurt from the way the tablecloth rubbed the sensitive spots he left her nipples with after biting them viciously. The inside of her thigh which now bore his mark was tender to his thighs hitting it every so often as he rammed her from behind. Her scalp from his fistful of hair. Her lip, it wasn't bleeding any more, but it was there. She couldn't wait to see them. All of them. Gavin's marks as he claimed his property. As he used her body to satisfy the wolf!

His cock suddenly left her feeling empty as she felt the head against her ass. She panicked. The sudden thought he was going to ravage her ass with the same force he was fucking her battered pussy caused her to look back as he positioned himself. The wolf was going to take her ass. She wanted it, but wanted to be softer than the way he pummeled her pussy. She swallowed hard.

"Yellow!" she said softly at first drawing his eyes up from her ass to her eyes as she looked back at him. "Yellow!"

And just like that, much to her disappointment, the wolf was gone. He leaned over her and kissed her mouth. Hard, not as hard as before but hard.

"I didn't say red," she said regretfully as he slowly pulled his lips from her. She screamed at herself for her cowardice. For begging for the wolf then denying him when he was there. God dammit she howled.

"I know," he smiled into her back as he growled as he fought to control himself. "I know, my little one." 

He dropped the head of his cock a little lower and slid is cock back in her slowly. The feel of it causing her to gasp as her nerves were super sensitive from the battering his cock had just given her.

"Fuck my ass," she pleaded.

"Soon," he smiled as he kissed her neck. "Very soon!"

"Now, please?" She knew he was disappointed. She could feel it radiate off him. She wanted to take that disappointment from him. She wanted him fully satisfied. But she looked back at him and knew.

"No," he said firmly. In a tone that told her that moment was done.

He pulled her hips back and his fingers caused her to hiss as they gripped where the table had dug into her. She looked back at him.

"Oh no, little one," he smiled as he began to slam his hips into her. "I'm not done with you yet!" She smiled as she laid her head down and he fucked her. Not with the utter abandon he had just done but one step short. Part of her was disappointed, part pleased as she had his marks again.

Pulling her off the table he forced her to her knees and put his cock in her mouth. Pulling on her hair he used her mouth to jack his cock off. He wasn't fucking her mouth, she wasn't sucking him off. He was pulling on her head to jack off with the convenience of her mouth ready to accept his cum.

He gave it to her with a growl as he filled her mouth with the salty taste of his hot cum. His head thrown back as his body tightened as it pumped from his body causing his thighs to shake under her hands as she held them.

He dropped his eyes to hers as he pulled his cock out.

"Swallow," he answered her silent question as she held his cum in her mouth. She did so with a subtle smile. He dropped his mouth to her and kissed her. She was in the process of swallowing a second time to make sure it was all down, but he didn't give her time. Now their tongues danced in the remnants of him. She was surprised. And exhilarated. And exhausted.

She collapsed under the table when he released her head. He pushed the table away from her and picked her up from the floor. She tucked her head on his shoulder, her lips kissing his neck as he carried her to the bed. Laying her gently within the sheets before pulling up alongside of her, stretching his body against hers. His now softening cock against her ass. His arms sliding around her upper body where she intertwined her fingers in his.

He nuzzled the back of her head lovingly as she stroked his outer forearms as he held her tightly in his embrace. She felt like a butterfly in a cocoon. Safe. Secure. Loved. She listened to his breathing behind her. The way his heart beat on her back. The way the hair on his chest tickled her back slightly. If there was a heaven she decided. It was in an embrace such as this.

"I'll go run you a bath," he whispered softly in her ear. She gripped his arms keeping him from leaving her. "You don't want a bath?"

"No," she smiled as she adjusted her head to lay it on his hands. "I want this."

"As you wish," he said pulling her tighter. She sighed. "Let me know when you are ready."

"In a bit," she whispered kissing his hands. His talented hands.

Her head lay softly on his chest, his fingers dripping water on her causing a rain like feel on her sensitive nipples. It brought a smile to her face. She loved the tenderness he always showered her with afterward. A pampering she had never known.

He brought the bottle of soap to his hands and put some in. Using his hands to massage the soap into a lather on her chest. His fingers becoming slippery as they pushed the bubbles around her chest. 

She let her eyes flutter closed as he massaged her skin, gently rubbing his fingers up her throat causing her to tilt her head up to let him fully clean it. Down his fingers went encircling her breast before moving to her stomach and gently massaging there. She was lost in the feel of his hands on her body.

"What?" she asked when she realized in her dream like state she missed his question. It caused him to giggle.

"I asked you how long it would take you to do some additional paintings," he repeated kissing her head.

"Why?" she asked turning her head to him. 

"I talked to Maole," he smiled. "He is eager to set up a show for you."

"What?" she turned and faced him now. Getting up on her knees in the massive tub.

"Maole owns a gallery," Gavin smiled as he pushed her hair over her ear. A tender touch that caused her mouth to kiss his hand instinctively, as a thank you, before he pulled it back. "I showed him the painting, he loved it."

"He loved it?" Alex asked stunned. Gavin nodded.

"So," he smiled. "How long?"

"I don't know," she gasped. "I don't know!" The excitement was blocking her from thinking clearly.

"Well," Gavin shrugged. "Let's take what you do have, see if he likes them. Then tomorrow while we are out, we will get some supplies."

"Are you kidding me?" she screamed as she jumped into his arms.

"I thought you said it wasn't that big of a deal to you to have a show?" he asked as he kissed her lips.

"I lied," she snickered the disbelief filling her eyes. "I just...well I guess I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"Rejection," Alex shrugged. 

He turned her back around and leaned her forward to wash her back.

"You are a fantastic artist," Gavin assured her. 

"Nobody has even looked at my stuff," she whispered as she pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them while he washed her back. "I guess I figured it wasn't good enough."

"Maole has a great eye," Gavin assured her. "He knows what's good and what isn't."

"What gallery?" Alex asked turning to him. He turned her back around. If she kept moving he would never get her clean.

"The Chicago Riverwalk Galleria," Gavin smiled.

"What?" she turned fully again causing Gavin to drop his hands exhaustedly. "That is one of the best galleries in the country!"

"I know," he smiled.

"I don't belong in a gallery like that!" Alex gasped. "I mean, that gallery sells masterpieces!"

"I know," he repeated with a shake of his head as he pulled his wine down off the back of the tub.

"How?" she blurted. She had doubts that she could enjoy such a location. Did this Maole owe Gavin a favor? Was he doing it because she was good enough or because of a debt? Was he in the life?

"How?" Gavin asked her. "Because he liked your work." He said with a shrug.

"Really?" she asked with an arched brow of disbelief. "He doesn't owe you, or he isn't doing this because you're his doctor?"

"Why is this so hard for you to believe?" Gavin asked her his temper rising a tick.

"Stuff like this doesn't happen to me!" Alex explained. "I mean, I never would have dreamed something like this!"

"Little one," Gavin smiled leaning forward and kissing her. He turned her and held her in place to let her know she wasn't to move. She smiled at the silent command. "Maole knows talent. He owes me no favors, he is not part of the life. I have bought some art from him. I, on occasion, attend some shows there. I asked him to take a look at something I had picked up and told him to give me an honest appraisal."

He brought the shampoo out and lathered her hair. His fingers gently massaging her scalp. This made her shiver with pleasure. No man had ever paid this type of attention to her. To bathe and wash her hair? Not in her life. Her dreams maybe, the occasional movie or fantasy, but not real life. Gavin did it on a regular basis!




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 14



"He spent the day with it," Gavin continued as he worked. "He called and asked where I got it." He tilted her head back and rinsed her hair.

"I told him that I knew the artist," he continued. "It was something I liked and was going to buy it, but wanted to give her a good price."

"You are not buying that painting!" Alex said firmly interrupting him.

"Shush," he commanded causing her to laugh.

"He said with any artist it's all about what you are willing to pay," Gavin continued pulling her back to his chest. He then handed her a glass of wine.

"He said work like that usually goes for two to three thousand in his gallery," Gavin finished with a clink of her glass.

"What?" she gasped. "I've been taking fifty to hundred bucks!"

"Not anymore," he smiled. "Maole then asked if you had any more, I said you did. He wants to meet you and discuss setting up a show."

"Ok," she laughed. "If somebody wakes me from this unbelievable dream! I'm killing them!" She turned and cupped his face. "You are a dream!"

"I," he smiled. "Am just a man, a man who is trying very hard to win your approval."

"You have it!" she kissed him before the words were fully out.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 15



"Hey you!" Elizabeth beamed as she came out of the plane. Alex smiled a happy smile and hugged the woman. 

"How was New Orleans?" Alex asked her. 

"Boring!" Elizabeth laughed. "There is only so much statistics a person can handle!" This got Alex to laugh. She seemed to be hovering just off the ground and Elizabeth wondered why. Alex was almost skipping down the walk. 

"So what have you been doing with our man?" Elizabeth asked her. She assumed it was Gavin as the girl was just head over heels for him. Her eagerness showing her desire for him. 

"Whatever he wants!" Alex laughed. 

"Good girl!" Elizabeth nudged. "I take it he is on a call?" 

"Yes," Alex frowned. 

"You will begin to hate that as much as I do after a while," Elizabeth warned with a deep exhale. She wouldn't miss that at all. Gavin leaving for a call. She hated that he would drop everything and go when the cell phone rang. 

"I'm there," Alex huffed. 

"How was the dinner with Pavel?" Elizabeth asked with disdain remembering one of the reasons she was happy to be on a business trip instead of here in Chicago. She didn't have to put on a fake smile and tolerate the uncouth Russian! She hated the way Gavin was with Pavel! Hated that she had to endure the way the men acted with one another. Hated that Gavin would change completely when the Russian was around. That and the fact the man was just flat out rude! 

"Fantastic!" Alex raved. "He was so funny!" 

"It must take little to impress you," Elizabeth frowned with a shake of head. Simpleton. How could she like Pavel? The girl may just be one step up from common. 

"Come on!" Alex laughed. "The man is utterly brilliant!" 

"If you say so," said an unimpressed Elizabeth. "Did he drink too much? What am I saying, of course he did!" 

"He doesn't get to do that over there," Alex defended. Elizabeth was ruining her buzz of good news. She was excited for opportunity of the show. Excited she got to see the real Gavin. Excited to have met the two people Gavin loved in his life. That meant the most to him. That was an honor for her! It was like meeting a guy's parents for the first time! "I would let my hair down too!" 

"So you didn't have to bail them out?" Elizabeth teased catching the tone of the woman by her side and decided to not to push. 

"No, it was actually very educational," Alex shrugged. She could tell Elizabeth didn't like Pavel, and she didn't like Gavin with Pavel either. 

"So what else has happened?" 

"Gavin has arranged a show of my work at Maole's!" Alex gushed almost dancing on her tip toes. 

"Really?" Elizabeth stopped walking and Alex turned. She nodded with a smile that needed its own runway. 

"I'm super excited!" 

"I can see that," Elizabeth forced a smile. 

"What's wrong?" Alex asked when Elizabeth didn't seem to like the fact she had a show. 

"Nothing," Elizabeth assured. "Just tired." 

That was a lie. What was really bothering her was that she let Royce take advantage of her. Granted it wasn't her fault he was the way he was. That he was a user. That he used her drug induced state to fuck her. Part of her was horrified, part excited. Not about being taken. That she would never approve of. It was a chance to push Royce into what she truly wanted. To move up in the world of power. Royce was a vehicle for that. He used her, she would use him right back. He fucked her for sexual power. She would fuck him for political power. She knew she could twist him the way she wanted. 

Still there was a tinge of regret that she broke a vow she made to Gavin. Granted the use of drugs was also a violation but she didn't consider it the same. The drugs were just Gavin's hang up. If he would just try them he would enjoy them. Then maybe he wouldn't be such a stickler about them. 

"How was your trip?" Gavin asked kissing her temple as she sat at the dinner table. 

"Boring," Elizabeth told him. She had been stewing since Alex told her about the showing. 

She wondered why Gavin was helping her when he wouldn't help her in her endeavor of moving up in the lobbyist world. Months ago she wanted Gavin to use his contacts to get her in touch with some of the political elite that Gavin knew and took care of. He had told her at the time that he was a doctor, not a politician. He was there to take care of them not use them for political favors. It would have helped her career but he didn't use his influence to do so. Yet he did for Alex? 

"Nothing of note happened?" Gavin asked as he kissed Alex on her temple before running his fingers across her neck. He sat and poured himself a glass of wine. Alex got up and left the table disappearing into the kitchen. 

Elizabeth looked to Gavin, and for a fleeting second she worried that Gavin already knew. Knew she had gotten high. Knew she had been fucked by Royce. Yes he took advantage of her while she was out on the heroin. Not able to give her consent. But would Gavin still hold her responsible because she shouldn't have taken the heroin? Would he say if you were clean as I command that would have never came up? He wouldn't have taken advantage of you while you were off her drug induced state in the land of Nod? 

Alex came back and set a plate in front of him before sitting down herself to her plate of dinner. Gavin looked to the plate for a second before turning his eyes to Alex. 

"What?" Alex asked him noting a tinge of anger in his eyes. 

"You don't have to serve me dinner like a common slave," Gavin said brusquely. 

"I didn't," Alex told him sharply. "I brought you a damn dinner in." She tried to reel in her anger. Why would this upset Gavin? Why was everyone trying to ruin her giddy buzz of her show? 

"I can serve myself dinner," Gavin told her. "I'm supposed to take care of you." 

"Jesus!" Alex gasped. "It's a dinner plate!" Gavin closed his eyes before exhaling deeply. 

"Sorry," Gavin admitted as he picked up her hand and kissed it before brushing his lips over the knuckles causing her to melt. "I know a lot of Doms treat their subs like slaves, I don't want to get lazy in my obligations." 

"Your obligations are more than fulfilled," Alex told him as she went back to her dinner. 

"Alex," Gavin began again sensing her anger. This caused Elizabeth to lift her eyes from her dinner plate. Shocked that Gavin would address her so common. 

"Alex?" Alex asked not looking at him. She left her head down as she stared at her plate. 

"Shit," Gavin laughed as he realized what he said. "I'm fucking up all over!" 

Elizabeth looked on with an anger welling in her. Now she could see what Royce meant when he said he would forget her and turn to his new pet. Gavin was letting his guard down with Alex, something he never did with her. 

"Alexandria," Gavin began again. "I'm sorry." 

"So am I," Alex smiled at him. "I know I used to hate being called Alexandria, but when you say it...it means so much more now." 

"I understand," he smiled. "My Alexandria." She nearly danced out of her chair. 

"So the cleanup effort is making progress?" Gavin asked looking back to Elizabeth who did her best to hide her burgeoning jealousy. 

"Yes," Elizabeth frowned. "It's still leaking, but it's under control." 

Gavin nodded as he began eating. 

"Alexandria seemed to like Pavel," Elizabeth pointed out watching Gavin eat. 

She would have to end this arrangement soon. That would make Royce happy. She looked to Alex and the new girl was stealing glances at Gavin through a sideways glance of her eyes. Looking at him but not turning her head to him to look at him. 

Part of her was happy she brought Alex in, but this was still her man. They were obligated to one another. He's not supposed to move on until she gave him his out. That was his promise to her. She would always be first, now she could see that position slipping from her. Then she remembered, Gavin hadn't broken his vow. She had. Multiple times. 

She liked her business trips. They allowed her the freedom to play with her drugs. She loved the feel of them. She never understood why Gavin was so against them. The worst punishment she had ever received was when Gavin found out she had snorted a line of coke. He threatened to kick her out of the condo, to become the first sub he had ever kicked out. He would not tolerate drug use. She didn't understand it. This went beyond legal worry about drugs for him, but she couldn't figure out why he hated it so much. She figured it was just a power play. 

Alex and Elizabeth sat side by side in the submissive position. Gavin looked at them as he came in from doing the dishes. 

"Ready to play are we?" Gavin grinned appreciatively. 

"Yes," they said in unison. Making it sound like a version of the Stepford Wives, 

"Good," Gavin said going to the drawer. "Alexandria, on the bed, face down, ass up." 

Alexandria obeyed immediately. Elizabeth fought the tick of jealousy in her stomach. This was not how it was supposed to go. Alex was a pet, she was not the sub. She should be the one getting most of the pleasure. Her jealousy ran rampant through her. 

"Elizabeth," Gavin said causing her to lift her head. He winked at her and she smiled when she saw the tools he was pulling out. 

"Oh yes," Elizabeth smiled trying to keep her disappointment from him. Gavin was reading her mind. 

Sitting down on the bed Elizabeth came and sat on the other side of Alexandria. Gavin put a small silver toy in front of Alex. It had a tapered end that widened at the base. The base of the acorn shaped designed toy had a ruby like jeweled end. 

"Well," Gavin said with a smile. "Do you know what this is?" He asked holding it front of him. She shook her head. 

"This is an anal plug," Gavin told her. Alex smiled at him. "We are going to start some anal play. I'm going to ask you a question before we get started. It's..." He looked to the ceiling in thought. This was easier with an experienced sub. They knew to prepare for something like this ahead of time. Alex wouldn't have known. 

"Have you used the bathroom tonight?" he asked her. She looked at him blankly. "Number two?" He shrugged. "The reason I'm asking is sometimes, not always, but sometimes after anal play it's difficult to go as with the insertions of toys and fingers and other things, it kind of gets packed in." 

Alex flushed with embarrassment. She had gone a couple of hours ago, but now she would have to talk about it? 

"I have," she whispered. 

"Ok," Gavin smiled. "Now, don't worry, I don't play bathroom games." 

"Bathroom games?" Alex asked him. 

"I don't dabble in Golden Showers or anything like that," Gavin smiled twisting the anal plug in his fingers. 

"Golden Showers?" Alex asked him. 

"Yes," Gavin nodded. "It's where one person gets a thrill peeing on another, or being peed on. 

"That's gross!" Alex said sitting up. 

"It's not gross," Gavin said patiently. "Don't think like a Puritan!" 

"Have you ever done it?" Alex asked him as he handed the toy to her to examine. He had three on the bed. They varied in size, the one in her hand was the smallest. 

"Yes," he smiled. "I like to try it all, then decide if it is for me. There have been numerous things I have done, that I didn't think I would like, but it was something I found after doing it that I enjoyed. Now there are things that I do that I don't like, but I do them because the sub likes them or needs them." 

Alex nodded. Try everything then make an informed decision. Gavin had told her that. They weren't just words to him. He lived by them as well. 

"Now, if you are willing to try," Gavin told her taking the toy back. "I'm going to insert this in you, it will feel uncomfortable. It may even cause a slight tick of pain but nothing that should harm you." Alex nodded that she understood. Then remembered he didn't like being nodded at. 

"Yes Sir," she smiled when she saw him looking at her. 

"Better," he grinned. 

"As we play, we will go up in size as well," he said picking up another of the plugs. "Not tonight of course. But as you become acquainted with each size, and your body adjusts we will go bigger. The end game, no pun intended, is to prepare you for my cock in your ass." 

Alex smiled at the pun but let him continue to explain. The idea of making Gavin cum hard in her body was now the goal. Elizabeth had said that he came harder in her ass than anywhere else. Gavin admitted it as well, being an ass man. It brought him a great deal of pleasure. 

"Ok," Alex nodded. "How do we start?" 

"We start by playing," Gavin grinned. "First my tongue, then a finger. Then when you are adjusted to those, I will lube you copiously, then slide our little friend in. Now, your body will want to push it out right away, it will think you need a bowel movement. It's important you don't let it out until I tell you." 

"Can it get lost in there?" Alex asked him. 

"It's possible," Gavin laughed. "But don't worry, I will make sure it doesn't. These toys have this raised flat base. Your anus will close around this shaft part leaving the acorn shape in you, the jewel part outside. The acorn will then force your body to adjust to its size thus making it larger and able to accept more." 

She nodded. Gavin was so patient. She loved that. Madelyn was right. He had to be the best Dom. All the things he did were perfect. Even his discipline was perfect. Never going too far, like in the bathroom. When she could take no more he stopped even though she had more coming. The roughness of his fucks were also just right. Rough enough to let her know she was getting fucked and he was in control but nothing to alarm her or harm her. 

She resumed the position at his gentle urging with a soft touch of her back in between the shoulder blades. Gavin then pulled on her cheeks opening her tightly puckered hole. His tongue invaded first, causing Alex to gasp. She loved the warmth his tongue gave off. His soft yet hard tongue diving in her. His tongue reaching in her. His hot breath touching, what she was beginning to learn, was the most sensitive of areas. 

Elizabeth joined in and pulled Alex's cheeks apart. Gavin continued to work with his tongue causing Alex to squirm backward into his face causing him to smile that she was eager to have his tongue deeper in her. 

Elizabeth gently probed a finger in Alex causing her to gasp at the small fingers that Elizabeth was using. Gavin moved down to her sex and licked and suckled there. Alex's hips began to rock. Forcing Elizabeth's finger deeper in her as well as Gavin's tongue. 

Alex felt a slight burn to her ass, but only a mild discomfort. Elizabeth's fingers were small, so there wasn't much pain. Elizabeth took a tube of lube and placed some on her fingers before continuing on. Alex couldn't believe the difference the lube made. It allowed her to fully enjoy the invasion of the goddess' fingers. 

Gavin's tongue pulled an orgasm from her and she shuddered as it released throughout her body. 

"I love the way you cum," he smiled as he licked her liquid up. 

"I love the way you make me cum!" Alex whispered as she continued to enjoy the finger in her ass. Gavin sat up. 

"Why don't you ladies get in the sixty-nine position, that way you both can enjoy this session," Gavin suggested to Elizabeth with a wink. 

Gavin watched them change positions, he watched Elizabeth lie on her back. He could tell she was keeping something from him, his instinct told him it was drug related. He tried to not let it gather a strong foot hold in his mind, but it was there. He could tell by the way she wouldn't look him in the eye for fear of her secret coming out. 

Alex looking back at him had him smiling again. He was really loving this new girl in his life. At first he was so dead set against it, now he was wondering why it was such a problem. Alex was so different than Elizabeth. Alex was indeed a challenge to him. One he was relishing. He loved the way her blue eyes drank him in. The way her mouth would tilt with her smile as he could see her mind wander through the things he had done to her, and the things she wanted him to do to her. 

He loved that she was always so eager to please him. Like a child with a new toy. She was just a child in this world. He was constantly reminding himself of that. Like last night when she invited the wolf out. She had no idea what she was asking for, but she was willing to let the animal out to devour Little Red Riding Hood. 

Then her demand of him to take her ass, that took a great deal of restraint. He didn't just want it. He desperately wanted it. Her use of the safe words saved him from a world of regret. He had to caution himself. She was a novice, and needed to be brought along slowly. That was a delicious torture for him. Like being tied up without the rope. He was a Dom, but he liked it when she bound him. Right now she did it with her words. Sometimes it was with her innocence. It was all a form of bondage he decided. 

He could tell Elizabeth wasn't happy with what was going on. He was trying to keep her first but with Alex pushing things to accelerate he was losing sight of her. That weighed on him. Although he knew she was leaving. He knew she brought Alex into their lives to allow herself to leave. She still had his vow. 

Gavin put some lube on his fingers. He looked at them glistening in the light of the bedroom. Slowly he pushed his index finger in Alex causing her body to stiffen. Slowly he pushed, feeling the resistance of her virtually untouched anus. It was very tight and as soon as his finger breached her ass it clasped at his finger. He reveled at her tightness. He also knew by the feel it would take a great deal of time to bring it to being ready for his cock. 

He watched as his finger slowly pushed her ring, he felt her muscles tighten as he invaded her. Stopping just at the second knuckle he left his finger there relishing the feel of her tight warm body holding his finger. 

Pulling his finger out slowly he watched her ring pucker and pull out with his finger. He squirted more lube on his finger as he pulled it out slowly. Then before he pulled all the way out he pressed it back in her causing her to whimper with satisfaction. He began a slow thrust with his finger. 

The feel of her ass and her body response made his cock harden in his pants. God he wanted to take her. The wolf on his shoulder begging for it. Using the logic that she said it was alright. That she wanted it! Then his Dom side reminded him that she sometimes didn't know anything. He didn't want to give her another bad experience. He wanted to make sure her pleasure kept her doing this long term. He wanted to be able to fuck her ass forever. 

He paused. Forever? What the hell was that about? He never thought forever. Not in this life. It was always in the future. Never set. He liked his relationships to last right around a year. Long enough to enjoy one another and explore one another fully but not long enough to become trapped in the mundane. Or worse. Trapped in love. 

He pulled his finger all the way out and it caused Alex to whimper with disappointment. This made him smile. She liked anal play. He brought the small acorn shaped plug up and coated it with lube. 

"Ok, little one," he smiled at her as she looked back at him. "I'm going to put this in." She nodded as she blew out a breath for bravery. "It will be ok, this won't hurt, but it's important that you communicate with me. Anything more than mild discomfort and I need to know. Understand?" 

"Yes Sir," she said with a breathy sigh. 

"I mean it," he warned. "No forcing your body to accept what it can't just to please me. Do you understand?" 

"Yes Sir," she said a little firmer now. "I will tell you if I feel pain." 

"Good girl," he winked and she smiled. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 15



Slowly he put the stainless steel acorn against her anus. He felt her tense up. 

"Ok," he smiled. "That is not going to be helpful! I need you to relax as much as you can. I know it will be impossible to relax fully but I need you to concentrate on trying to stay relaxed. If you tense up, it causes more pain." 

"Yes Sir," she said with a deep exhale as she tried to relax her muscles. He felt her glutes relax under his fingers as he had placed his hand there. Once she had taken another calming breath. He could see her concentrating. 

Elizabeth waited under her and her hands pulled her cheeks apart as Gavin pressed gently with the toy. The tip disappearing in Alex, she tightened up and he withdrew. Slowly he continued with his pressing and pulling it back when she tightened. He saw her mind fight with her body as she tried to relax. 

Each time he was able to push it a little farther in. He was enjoying seeing the toy fuck her ass. Watching her tight ring fight then release to its invader. Then with a pop it was in. Only the ruby jeweled end was visible. 

Alex looked back at him when she felt it go all the way in. 

"It's in," he smiled with a wink. She smiled. 

"Your right," she told him. "It feels weird, but it doesn't really hurt. And it does feel like I need to use the restroom." 

"Ok, but don't let that happen, the longer it stays in the more adjusted to it your body will become," he smiled as he ran his fingers across her ass. 

"How long can we leave it in?" she asked him. 

"As long as you want," he smiled. "Right now let's just leave it in for this session, then in the future I will make you wear it around as you go through your day." 

"Seriously?" She gasped. "I will wear this around?" 

"Some people wear it all day, never remove it unless it's to apply lube," he shrugged. "The longer it's in the faster your body will adjust, the faster I can take your sweet little ass!" He winked at her. 

"How does it stay in if I'm walking around?" she crinkled up her nose and it made him smile at her cuteness. 

"It just does," he shrugged. "Your body has enclosed it within, as long as you don't relax too much or your body doesn't push it out, you should be able to keep it in with minimal effort." 

"Now what?" she asked. 

"Now, I'm going to fuck you," he laughed as he stood up. 

"Please!" she smiled as she turned around and began her tonguing of Elizabeth again. 

Gavin lined up his hard cock with her sex as Elizabeth licked his shaft. Putting his thumb on the ruby he held it there to keep it from being pushed out by his cock entering Alex. Pushing into her took some effort as her body wasn't used to having two intrusions in her supple young body. 

She grimaced slightly with a hiss as he filled her. 

"How do you feel?" he asked her once he was all the way in. 

"Full!" she gasped. 

He began a slow thrust in her and enjoyed the way the toy pressed down on his cock, tightening the space around it. Alex came with a shudder as he held the plug in place as her body tried to press it out as her muscles convulsed under the pleasure of her orgasm. 

Gavin would pull out from time to time to lower his cock down Elizabeth's throat where she sucked him down greedily. He would then slide his cock into Alex causing her to gasp. Back and forth he went. Four or five strokes in Alex's sweet tight sex, then down Elizabeth's exquisite mouth, into her throat where her muscles guided him in. All the while, he was staring at the ruby under his thumb, a tick of jealousy that he couldn't be there himself. The desire to take her ass was overwhelming him. Time to satisfy that desire, to succumb to it was the only way to relieve that desire he found long ago. He pulled out of Alex. 

"Alex, move to the side here," he said with a strained voice and a pat of his hand on the bed. 

Alex moved carefully to the side and sat on the toy with a gasp. Gavin watched her and shook his head. 

"I don't want it to fall out, my body is still trying to get rid of it!" she told him with a satisfied smile that she was pleasing him again. 

"Elizabeth," Gavin smiled at her. "Assume the position, I need your ass tonight!" 

"Yes Sir!" she smiled as she sat up and presented herself to him. She looked at Alex and knew she was going to please Gavin in a way Alex couldn't. Not yet at least. She wondered if Royce would be as patient with Alex as Gavin was being. She decided he wouldn't. That's the part she liked about Royce. He took what he wanted, when he wanted, with little regard for the sub. Some may find that unacceptable, Gavin being one, but she loved that! 

Gavin put lube on Elizabeth's ass and then his cock. Alex reached out to stroke his cock to coat it with the lube and it caused Gavin to shudder with pleasure. Alex continued to stroke his cock as she watched his face. She wondered if Gavin would let her just stroke him off. She had never just given a hand job, she had jerked Gavin off as he came, but would Gavin let her do that just that? Stroke his cock? In the car maybe? Or better yet, someplace public? A new fantasy to explore! 

Gavin moved his cock to Elizabeth's anus and Alex watched on in interest. She was insanely jealous now. If what Elizabeth and Gavin said was true, Elizabeth was about to get a very strong orgasm out of Gavin. Something she couldn't do herself. How long would it be before he took her this way? Weeks? Months? 

Alex pushed those thoughts from her mind as she realized this was what Gavin was warning her about last night. The jealousy. She wanted to show Gavin she was ok with this, because if the worst happened and Elizabeth decided not to leave, she wanted to be a part of Gavin's life. She would have to share with Elizabeth if she was to stay. If she couldn't handle it, then she would be left in the cold. Gavin had made his commitment to this dark headed Goddess. It didn't keep Alex from hoping that Elizabeth would move on soon. 

She watched as Gavin's bulbous purple head pressed on the tight ring. It puckered open slightly as Elizabeth reached back with her own hands to pull her ass apart giving Gavin free reign over her backside. 

Gavin slowly put the head of his manhood in Elizabeth. Gently pushing in her as it closed in around his head. Alex watched the glistening lube gather at the entrance of her hole. Pushed off Gavin's cock by the tightness of her ring. She watched as inch by inch Gavin disappeared. Half way in, Gavin stopped and pulled out. The ring being pulled out drew her attention in awe. The way her body caved and released his cock as he pushed in and out of her caused her to shudder with excitement. 

Gavin began long slow strokes at first, each time disappearing a little further into Elizabeth. Then his groin was resting against her cheeks and Alex gritted her teeth in jealousy. This was killing her. She wanted this! 

Gavin began to fuck Elizabeth and she was grunting under her thrusts. 

"God! Yes Sir," she gasped. "I love your cock in my ass!" 

Alex bit the inside of her lip to keep her anger in check. Was Elizabeth intentionally driving her anger with her words, 'my ass'? The emphasis she heard on 'my'? Was she taunting the pet? Or was it just Alex's jealousy and paranoia? Alex tried to force it from her mind. This was what Gavin was trying to avoid. Alex then frowned inwardly, this was human nature she surmised. Jealousy. As old as time itself. Cain fell Able for such emotion. 

"Fuck my ass Sir," Elizabeth encouraged. "Fuck it hard! Make me scream!" Gavin began to pound. His hips causing Elizabeth ass cheeks to ripple from his collision with them. 

Alex knew she was doing this on purpose now. Driving her insane with jealousy. She had to be careful to make sure Gavin didn't pick up on it. He would address it and that might include pushing her out until Elizabeth made her decision. 

Gavin put some more lube on his cock after a while, that caused Alex to marvel that he would remember that while in the heat of the moment. The pleasure of what he was immersed in caused his eyes to close with a flutter. His body strained against its skin as he pummeled Elizabeth. Hitting max depth with his thrusts causing her to rock forward. The bed to shake with their fucking. 

Gavin pulled on Elizabeth's hips as she looked back at him with her satisfied grin. One Alex was hating at the moment. Elizabeth was giving Gavin what he wanted. Perhaps even what he needed, given last night as his wolf was about to take her ass, but she stopped it from happening by using one of her safe words. One she regretted saying now. 

Then with a full body shudder and an animal growl, Gavin thrust into Elizabeth to his maximum depth as she pushed back into him. 

"God I love the way you cock feels as it spurts its hot seed in my ass!" Elizabeth whispered in satisfaction. "I can feel it bucking in me, filling me with your precious cum!" Alex watched Gavin's body shudder under his orgasm. In her mind it was shuddering more than usual making her feel inadequate. 

"Ok bitch," Alex growled inwardly. "You can stop rubbing it in!" 

Gavin collapsed on top of Elizabeth and he kissed and nibbled on her back. Alex knew she had lost him for the time being. His afterglow of his strong orgasm evident. Alex knew then and there. This was not going to work with the three of them. Again she feared the music would stop and she would be left without a seat in this game of musical chairs. 

"Ok, little one," Gavin said coming to her after bathing Elizabeth. "Let's take that out now." 

"Do we have to?" she asked him. This stopped him in mid thought. He was already preoccupied with what was wrong with Elizabeth as she seemed to turn her body away from him when he was doing her legs. Normally she stood there, just letting him turn her. This time she turned and then laughed when he began to wash her feet. She wasn't ticklish before, he put it off as she was just tired from her trip. 

"We could," Gavin shrugged. "I think your body would push it out in the night." 

"Oh," she frowned. 

"What's wrong?" he asked her tilting her chin up. 

"Nothing," she tired as convincingly as she could. 

"Green is not your color," he warned her of her jealousy. 

"She got to do something I'm not allowed to do," Alex pouted. 

"In time you will be doing it as well," Gavin assured her with a frown. This is was the headache he was trying to avoid. This is why one sub at a time is his policy. Divided, no one is pleased. 

"I'm sorry, Sir," Alex said seeing what she had done to him. The guilt. "Like you said, human nature. I want to be the one that pleases you." 

"You do please me," he assured her with a soft smile. 

"Not like Elizabeth," Alex whispered. He took hold of her chin firmly. His eyes flashing at her causing her to swallow hard. 

"You please me in ways Elizabeth hasn't even begun to fathom," he told her. "You do things for me that make me...," 

"Make you, what?" Alex reveled in the words, the passion in them. The sincerity. 

"Want," he whispered as he nibbled on her lobe of her ear. 

"Want what?" she gasped. 

"It all," he said in her ear breathily. "I want it all, forever, from you." 

"Forever?" she got out before she melted under his kiss. It was firm. It was commanding. It commanded her to be silent. And she was. Lost in his forever. 

Chapter 18 

Alex paced nervously in her apartment. She was dressed sharply in a tight fitting black skirt that Elizabeth had picked out and white blouse. The heels she wore clicked on the floor as she paced. 

"For the love of God!" Lena growled again looking up from her Kindle. "Sit down!" 

"I can't!" Alex gasped as she sat down for a second then sprung to her feet again. Trying to do what her roomie asked but unable to sit still for fear of being stuck there like a statue. 

"You are going to wear yourself to a frazzle!" Lena cautioned tossing the electronic device to the couch beside her in frustration. 

"I know!" Alex again sat down. "I know!" She put her face in her hands and blew out what was supposed to be a calming breath. It failed. Nothing, short of medication, was going to get her to be calm tonight! 

Lena was about to say something when there was a knock at the door. 

"Thank God!" Lena laughed getting up and running to the door. Gavin smiled at her as she opened the door breathlessly with a roll of her eyes. "You have to get her to calm down! She is driving me crazy!" 

"Nervous?" Gavin laughed as he came into the living room and smiled at her. 

"Don't," Alex warned with a firm shake of her head. She was not in the mood to be the butt of jokes. Not when her world was spinning out of control! 

"It will be fine," he told her. This was almost a mantra. Something he said just about every five minutes as the show approached. 

"So you two keep saying, but it's me that's going to be out there naked!" Alex told them. This caused them to laugh. She moved to the window to keep her anger from them. And hopefully control her knees from knocking. 

"Well," Gavin began with a flick of his eyebrows. Alex rolled her eyes. "It's just a little show." Gavin said coming to her and putting his arms around her. "It's going to be fantastic, they are going to love your work." 

"And if they think it's shit?" Alex asked him as she rested her arms around his as they enveloped her. 

"Well," Gavin sighed keeping his smile hidden from her by burying it in her permed hair. "Then you're fucked." This caused Lena to burst into laughter as he said it like it would be the end of the world. 

"I hate you two right now," Alex told him, pushing his arms from her and grabbing her purse. Lena and Gavin followed her out of the apartment elbowing each other satisfactorily. 

The Gallery was teeming with people. Alex tried her best to keep from throwing up. Each time Maole, the owner of the Gallery came to her, she would beam her smile and he would introduce a client to her. 

Gavin hovered around, talking to various people. Any time she would look at him, she would smile, as he was always looking at her. Something she found very comforting. It reminded her of the party at Madelyn's. She was safe even though he wasn't near her. 

"You look really stressed!" Elizabeth said to her as she tucked her arm in Alex's. 

"I'm about to die," Alex admitted softly to her. "I feel like they are dissecting me!" 

"Well," Elizabeth whispered. "Would you like to know what they are saying?" 

"Yes!" Alex gasped. Her eyes pleaded for information but her stomach churned at what they might say. 

"They said it looked like a kindergarten class did them," Elizabeth said softly with a comforting pat of her arm. Alex almost died until the laughter made her look to Elizabeth. 

"Sorry!" She pleaded with a smile. "Gavin made me do it!" she said with a point of her chin at Gavin at her teasing. Alex turned and glared which made Gavin hide his laughter behind his hand. 

"Now, do you want to know what they are really saying?" Elizabeth tried again. 

"I'm not sure anymore!" Alex said with tightly closed eyes. 

"See the lady in the bright pink?" Elizabeth asked pointing at a woman with her nod. Alex nodded. "She owns three Galleries, she has already spoken to Maole about taking some for display in them!" 

"She is?" Alex gasped, stunned. The room began to spin. 

"Yes," Elizabeth smiled. 

"The fat man in the plaid coat?" Elizabeth again pointed out with her chin. "Has already begun negotiations with Maole for two of your paintings." 

"What?" Alex asked her in disbelieving whisper. 

"You, my dear, are a hit!" Elizabeth gave her a hug. "Now relax!" Elizabeth shifted onto one foot uncomfortably. 

"Is your foot still bothering you?" Alex asked her looking down at it. 

"Yes," she hissed as she lifted it off the floor. It was always on fire now. It felt like someone had lit a match and stuck in in between her toes. 

"Have Gavin look at it again!" Alex insisted. 

"No, because Gavin would drop everything right now, and right now we are super concerned about you!" Elizabeth told her. "So after the show, maybe." 

"No, no maybe!" Alex growled. Elizabeth smiled. 

The foot had been sore for days. Ever since she got back from New Orleans two weeks ago. It was infected and a doctor had given her medication but it wasn't helping. She didn't dare tell Gavin as he would inspect it and she feared he would figure it out. But it wouldn't be long before he figured it out anyway. She hoped it would have been cured by now, but it wasn't. 

With the Gallery showing for Alex, Gavin had been busy trying to get Alex's career off so all his free time was pushing Alex to work. She was happy about that. If he was distracted by Alex, she could get the wound to heal. The only problem with that was, it didn't heal. It actually felt worse! And tomorrow there would be no distraction for Gavin. 

Maole came up to Alex at the end of the night. Alex attempted a smile but it came out as more of a relieved grimace. He rubbed her outer arm in comfort. 

"Feel like you are standing naked in a room?" he asked her. She nodded. "Well, you have done very well tonight. You will be going home empty handed and with a full wallet!" 

"What?" she asked him shocked. 

"I have sold all of your paintings!" he said patting her arm. "Congratulations! They love you!" 

"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!" she beamed letting out a relieved exhale. 

"There is someone I want you to meet," he said guiding her from the back of the room where she had been hiding. 

"Who?" 

"Gabriella Battera," Maole told her as he tugged her pulling her reluctant feet into motion. "She is...well...very important!" 

"Ok, should I be nervous?" Alex asked finding swallowing very difficult. 

"I don't think you have a choice," he laughed at her. "You have been that way all night!" 

"I know, I'm sorry!" she said for the hundredth time. 

"No worries," he smiled. "This woman, isn't a critic or anything, she is a mover and a shaker in Chicago. She knows everybody worth knowing." 

"What does she want?" Alex gulped. 

"Hmm," he laughed. "Not going to tell you, I'm going to let her tell you." 

"Arrg," Alex growled as her stomach heaved. 

"Gabby?" Maole called out bringing the woman's attention to Alex from a painting of Alex's she had been admiring. "This is Alexandria." 

"I love your work!" Gabby smiled extending her hand. The woman was sharply dressed in a charcoal business suit and her smile was friendly. By the way she shook Alex's hand she could tell it was something she did a lot. It was firm and short. Taking up the minimum amount of time before the next step of negotiations. Whatever they might be. 

"Thank you," Alex said with an embarrassed smile as Gavin came up. She looked to him and he took her hand in his to provide some needed strength. 

"I'm in charge of the Chicago Expo that is coming up in October," Gabby smiled at her. 

"Oh wow!" Alex nodded. The Chicago Expo was a big four day festival. It brought in a thousands of people from all over the world. It showcased all Chicago had to offer, from live entertainment, to foods to arts and museums. "That would be stressful!" 

"It is," Gabby admitted. "But the biggest headache I have had, I'm hoping you can help me with." 

"Really?" Alex said with a furrowed brow. "How is that?" 

"I want something dramatic," she smiled at Alex. "Something that will explain the city of Chicago. Something that people will notice, and will know what we represent." 

"Ok," Alex said apprehensively. She wondered how she was going to help this woman out. 

"I want a mural," Gabby told her. "One of Chicago's many faces. You capture people. I would like for you to come up with something that does that." 

"What?" Alex asked her, stunned into the one word question as the rest of her vocabulary escaped with her shock. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 15



"I want you to paint me a mural," Gabby told her again. "Something dramatic! Something that people will be talking about for months afterward." 

"Uh," Alex gasped. 

"Can you do a mural?" Gabby asked her sensing her hesitation. 

"I probably could," Alex stammered. "I mean I've never done one but, I could." 

"Of course she could!" Gavin assured Gabby. "Just where were you thinking of putting this mural?" Taking over for the speechless Alex. 

"At the entrance to Centennial Park," she told him realizing Alex was overwhelmed. "The first thing people will see as they enter the Expo." 

"Holy shit," Alex whispered. 

"Can you sketch me some ideas?" Gabby asked her. Alex could do nothing but nod. "Fantastic!" Gabby winked at her happily. "So you will take the job?" 

"Of course! It would be an honor!" Alex gushed. 

"Great!" Gabby exhaled deeply. "I hate to rush you, but I'm getting hammered by the mayor about final touches. So I need something really quick if you can, not a final draft or anything just something to pacify him for the time being!" 

"Oh my God," Alex shook her head and looked down. "I'll try and have something in a couple of days!" 

"That would be great!" Gabby exhaled. "Have you ever met the mayor?" 

"God no!" Alex laughed. "I mean, I haven't had the honor!" 

"Well, that I can fix, I have a meeting on Thursday. Can you join me?" Gabby asked her. 

"I...I...," Alex was flabbergasted. 

"Of course she can," Gavin said for her. Gabby nodded and began to walk away. 

"Anything in particular you want?" Alex asked her. 

"Well the theme is Chicago then, now, and forever," Gabby told her. "So impress me!" Alex nodded with a weak smile as her mind went blank. "I get the feeling you won't disappoint!" 

Driving home after the show, Alex looked at the check in her hands. It was the most money she had ever earned in a year, let alone one night. It was more money than multiple years! She felt this was all a dream, Gavin, the showing, the money. The Expo! The last thought made her stomach flutter with excitement. 

"You ok?" he asked her with a smile. 

"I don't know how to thank you!" Alex said with reverence. 

"You just did," he smiled. "I told you that you would be great." 

"Sometimes it's hard to believe that anyone likes my stuff!" Alex told him turning to him. 

"You shouldn't doubt," he said kissing her hand. He held it after doing so making her weak in the knees at his subtle loving gestures. 

"I have doubted everything since you entered my life," Alex smiled. "It's all so overwhelming!" 

She frowned as he was driving to her apartment instead of his condo. 

"Why are you taking me home?" she asked him. 

"Because, Gabby needs you to work," he smiled. "If I take you to my place, you won't be working!" he teased with a bright smile. 

"Well, not on art anyway!" she laughed with him. 

"Exactly," he smiled with a nod. "You have any ideas?" 

"A million," Alex nodded. "None of them good enough to be on a mural at the opening of the Chicago Expo!" 

"You'll be fine," he said with a shake of his head. 

Walking her up to her apartment she unlocked the door. She turned when he didn't follow her in. 

"You're not coming in?" she asked him disappointed. 

"No," he said firmly. "You need your sleep. You haven't slept all week because of the worry for this show. I don't want you wearing yourself down and getting sick. You have a great opportunity. It only comes once in a lifetime, so we can't be having you sick." 

"But," she began. "I need you." She said with a naughty smile. 

"Not tonight, little one," he said with a gentle hand to her face. She knew when he used his pet name for her that it wasn't to be argued with. "Try and get some sleep." She nodded with a frown. 

He could feel the disappointment in her. He sighed. 

"I'll make a deal with you," he smiled. She lifted her eyes to his. "Get some sleep tonight, and I'll take you to a party tomorrow night. Deal?" 

"What kind of party?" Alex asked hoping it was similar to her last party. 

"A good one," he smiled kissing her lips gently. She gasped into his lips. 

"Deal," she smiled into his lips. "Hey," she said pulling back. "I don't think the antibiotics you gave Elizabeth are working." 

"What antibiotics?" Gavin asked her his face hardening. 

"The antibiotics for the cut...on her foot," Alex said slowly, reading his angered expression. Elizabeth had told her that Gavin had given her antibiotics to help her injured foot. Now she was wondering if that was the truth. Why Elizabeth would lie to her, and what that meant to Gavin? 

"I didn't know anything about a cut," Gavin growled. 

"She cut her foot in New Orleans when she was there," Alex told him causing him to look to the hallway ceiling. "She said she told you." Alex whispered. 

"No, she most certainly did not," Gavin told her firmly. "Don't worry, I'll look at it when I get home." 

"Don't be angry," Alex tried to save Elizabeth from what was going to be a severe reprimand. "She knew you were busy helping with this showing!" 

"That is irrelevant!" Gavin barked. 

"Shit, I should have just kept my mouth shut!" Alex hissed. 

"No, you guys do not get to keep things from me," Gavin said firmly taking her by the chin for emphasis. His eyes were hard and angry. "Is that understood?" 

"Yes, Sir," she swallowed hard. He kissed her goodnight and left her standing in the doorway. She closed the door and leaned against it. She thought of warning Elizabeth but she wondered why Elizabeth would lie to her? She said she had shown it to Gavin, that day when she noticed the limp in the kitchen there in the condo. Now it appeared she had lied about it. Why? 

Gavin walked into the condo and found Elizabeth in bed working on the computer. He pulled the sheet down and she smiled at his demeanor thinking he was in the mood for a rough fuck by the way he ripped the sheets from the bed. Her smile vanished when he looked to her injured foot. 

"It's infected," Gavin growled examining it. The wound had a honey colored crusting of the skin, surrounding the bright red dot in the center. "What antibiotic are you taking?" 

"Just a cream I got at the walk in clinic," Elizabeth whispered. She feared this. Alex must have said something. "It's nothing. You were busy with getting Alex set up." 

"Fuck you," he told her. "This is an injection site." Elizabeth closed her eyes. "Do you take me for a fool? I have dealt with addicts before, I know the secret places to inject yourself to keep it hidden!" 

"No," she whispered. "Of course not." 

"Then explain," he demanded. "Because now, you have a staph infection." 

"I'm not sure I want to," Elizabeth whispered setting her computer to the side. "I'm sorry, I made a mistake." 

"By taking drugs or not telling me?" Gavin asked her, crossing his arms across his chest. His temper was spiraling out of control. Flashbacks of his past flooded his mind as this conversation was had before. Different girl. Same words. 

"Both," she said looking at the foot. 

She wanted to hide if from him and make this all go away. He walked out of the room and she shook her head. Here it comes. She had been dreading it for weeks now. He had been so wrapped up in Alex's showing that he hadn't paid a great deal of attention to her. Part of which angered her and part of which relieved her. If he wasn't paying attention to her she had time to heal her infected toe. But it wasn't going away. 

He came back in with a glass of water and handed her pills. She took them without questioning them. 

"Penicillin," he told her as she handed the glass back to him. She nodded. 

"I'm sorry," she said again. 

"What did you take?" he asked her sitting on the bed and putting his face in his hands. This is why he wanted only one sub, his focus was on Alex and he lost sight of Elizabeth. Something that he was angry with himself about. 

"I told you," she said softly. "A cream that the clinic...," 

"No," he cut her off. "What did you inject?" 

"H," she whispered dropping her head. This kicked him in the stomach as all the memories flooded him and he wanted to run from the room screaming like a mad man! His heavy legs would have made that impossible. 

"Get out of my bed," he barked harshly. "Sleep in the guest room." 

"Yes, sir," she whispered. She winced when she stood. He saw the wince so he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the guest room. He gruffly put her in the bed and she couldn't look him in the eye. He turned from her and stalked away angrily. 

"Elizabeth," he said from the doorway. "You need to make a decision. You know you aren't allowed to do drugs. It is forbidden. If you stay, there will be consequences. If you are more interested in the drugs, be gone." 

"I have made my decision already," she whispered. She might as well get it all out at once. 

"Fine," he told her knowing that already. "I will help you get set up in an apartment." 

"Thank you, Sir," she whispered as the tear fell. 

"Is there anything else I need to know?" he asked her. 

"No," she told him wiping the tear away as it streaked down her face. "Nothing that needs to be said." He turned to her. 

"You fucked someone," he stated with cold eyes. She nodded. 

"I release you from your vow to me," she whispered before he could launch into his tirade. "I am no longer your sub." 

"Then I release you from your promise," Gavin whispered back. He expected it, her infidelity to him, but it still took his breath away. "But it seems that promise was only semi intact." 

"That's not fair," she whispered. 

"No, what's not fair, is the way you are ending this," he said to her firmly. "I hope you make a better decision than Royce." She looked up to him with a mixture of shock and fear in her eyes. 

"Please," He said a disgusted growl that she would even begin to believe that he wouldn't know. The surprise on her face angered him.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 16



Chapter 19*

Alex walked into the condo with a happy step. She had gone to the bank to deposit her check and now her bank account seemingly breathed a sigh of relief! Never before had her checkbook possessed the number it now had. She even opened a savings account. Just because she had the money to do so!

Turning the corner she stopped in her tracks. There were boxes neatly packed and stacked in the middle of the floor. Each one tightly shut with tape. She saw the names on the side. Kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and other descriptions were written in Gavin's handwriting in black marker.

"Gavin!" she called out staring at the boxes. She went to the bedroom, the bed was made and there was nobody in the room. "Elizabeth!" she called out but she received no reply. They weren't home. 

She went back to the living room and the boxes. Her heart began to race in her chest as she thought about what the boxes meant for her. Was Elizabeth done? Was the fight last night for the lies so bad that this is the result? Part of her was cautiously happy. Happy that the fear that had been built in her that Elizabeth leaving wasn't the forgone conclusion Gavin said it was. Part shamed that Elizabeth had brought her into this world and she owed her some measure of loyalty.

Pulling out her phone she hit the speed dial for Gavin but the slamming of the front door made her realize she didn't need to. Gavin came around the corner and stopped when he saw Alex in the living room. His face hard and angry. Part of both melted away upon seeing her there.

"What's going on?" Alex asked after taking a deep swallow. The moment of elation now gone from her banking visit.

"Elizabeth is moving out," Gavin said harshly his eyes flashing danger.

"What?" Alex asked. "Why?"

"Because she would rather do heroin than be with me," he barked angrily. She could see he was trying to keep from yelling it, but only half managed.

"Oh my God baby!" She said softly coming to him. "I'm so sorry!"

"Why?" he barked pushing her hands away from him. Not wanting her soothing embrace. Not wanting to let go of the anger. He needed it to steel himself from being slammed with pain of regret. If he was angry, he wasn't thinking of the pain of Carla. Or the pain of Elizabeth. Alex touching him would break down the anger. Break down the hate. Rip through the steel wall. She would break him.

His moving away from her at the same time brought her worst fears into play now. Any happiness she had was drowned in the fear that Gavin would do what Pavel said and push her away. She could feel the invisible slap at her from the tone of his voice and the way he moved away from her.

"Don't do this," Alex argued softly. Pavel's words came flooding back to her mind. That he would try to push her away. Would this be it? To keep from being hurt by anyone.

"Do what?" Gavin asked closing his eyes. Alex saw through it. She knew that he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Push me away," she said softly as she finally got her arms around him. He sighed deeply and put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in her hair. "I'm so angry right now."

"I know," she whispered pulling him tighter. "You can't stop her from making a mistake. You can only counsel her that she is making one!"

"She leaving me for drugs and Royce!" Gavin growled.

"No," Alex said taking his face in her hands. "She is leaving because she is a fool!"

"She is leaving because of drugs and Royce," Gavin repeated.

"Which makes her a fool!" Alex said with a disbelieving laugh. "If she can't see what I see, she doesn't deserve you." She guided him to the couch and sat him down. She then maneuvered herself in behind him and straddled him with her legs. She began a massage on his tense shoulders.

"What are you doing?" he asked her looking over his shoulder and taking her hand to stop her.

"Go with it," she ordered him. "You take care of everybody else, let me take care of you for right now!" She saw the fire in his eyes. He didn't like being spoken to that way and she could tell he was thinking of ending everything to protect himself. So she was really pushing her luck.

"It would please me, Sir," she said softly. He smiled a tired smile and let go of her hand. "Thank you." He nodded.

"You can only protect those who let you," Alex said softly. "You have done that with her up till now. Now she needs to learn the lesson. Sometimes the only way to learn it is the hard way."

"And if it kills her?" Gavin asked bluntly. The tear that fell, Alex saw, but said nothing. She wondered if that tear was for Elizabeth or Carla.

"You have done all you can," she whispered pulling him in tighter. "You can't make her let you protect her!"

"Where is she?" Alex asked carefully.

"I needed her gone," Gavin whispered. "So I got her a place in Chicago, I can't go down the road she is going down....not again. So I got her a place fast, just to get her the hell out of here. I was up all night packing her stuff. She is there now signing the papers. I've also checked her into a hotel until she gets her furniture bought and delivered."

Gavin leaned forward and put his face in his hands and blew out another breath. He was exhausted and she could see it. She continued to knead his tight back. Starting at his shoulders, then working her way down to the small of his back. 

Then back up to his neck. She traveled slowly down his spine making rivets of goosebumps wash across his skin. He looked back at her over his shoulder with a half grin. One she figured was the best he could muster given the circumstances.

"What is that grin for?" she asked him kissing his back and wrapping her arms around his chest as she laid her head on his back and listened to his heartbeat.

"You really are good with your hands," he told her.

"See," she smiled against his back. "You should let me use my hands more often!"

"Something to consider," he said rubbing her forearms as they stretched around him.

"Really?" she asked.

"Absolutely not," he chuckled. "I like driving you crazy by not letting you use your hands. One of my petty tortures."

"What goes around, comes around my love," she smiled. Then she thought about what came from her lips so easily. My love. 

Alex coaxed Gavin from the couch and led him by the hand into the bedroom. He shook his head as she pulled him to the bed. Pulling back the covers she pushed him to a seated position and he plopped with a bounce on the bed.

She knelt at his feet and untied his shoes and pulled them from his feet. She guided them up into the bed and he let her. A soft smile on his face with the way she was pampering him. A return of what he did for her. Something he normally didn't allow. Something that Alex seemed to get away with. Something he couldn't understand why.

She pulled the covers over him and kissed his temple.

"Sleep," she whispered into his ear. "You are exhausted."

She started to move away from him but he stopped her by taking her hand. She looked back at him with a smile.

"Thank you," he said with a frown. "I'm embarrassed."

"Why?"

"Because you have to see me this way," he said softly. "I hate my weakness."

"You can call it whatever you want," she said kneeling at the bed near his face. She rested her head on her arms as she peered into his eyes. "You can call it an arrangement. You can call it submission. You can call it a friendship. But it's a hard thing to get over when you spend day in and day out with someone for a year."

"Our life isn't like that," Gavin whispered. "I don't love her."

"Bullshit," Alex told him as softly. "You do. Not enough to marry her as you have built up this wall around you to keep you from being hurt again. But make no mistake. You love her. You don't spend that much time with someone without falling in love to some degree."

Alex began to stroke his finger with hers. He seemed so vulnerable right now and that in itself made her excited. She was seeing another side of Gavin. A softer side. A side that wasn't the façade of being a Dom. It clicked. This world he had immersed himself in was a form of insulation. Protecting him.

All the girls in his world were from the life. They were all aware of the arrangement. Maybe that is why he is so confounded by her, she thought as she drowned in his eyes. Maybe that is why he is so taken with her. She could see that he didn't treat her like Elizabeth. She could see that he talked to her differently as well. She hoped that what they had going wasn't an arrangement. 

"I can't go down that road again," Gavin whispered as he closed his eyes. She stroked his hair and it soothed him. 

"You may not have a choice," Alex whispered. He opened his eyes to her. "I'm sorry, but there is no way you can shut off that desire to protect her."

"I won't go," he said firmly.

"Yes you will," Alex whispered. "It's who you are." 

Gavin closed his eyes. She stroked his hair and watched him fall asleep under her soft touches. Her protection.

"But you won't have to do it alone," Alex whispered as she kissed his lips when she knew he was asleep. "You won't be able to push me away!"

Alex was laying on the couch now, her feet pulled up on it as she used her legs for a desk while she laid on her back. She was sketching various designs. Ideas to present to Gabby. None were any good so as soon as she was done she would rip it from her book and toss it haphazardly to the coffee table and start again. She was drawing a blank. Nothing helped her.

Now she was staring at the ceiling trying to come up with one idea. Just one worthy of the Expo. One worthy of thousands of people. One worthy to be talked about for months. Nothing was coming.

The scent of Gavin's cologne wafted around her and brought her from her frustration. She used her head to arch herself on one of the cushions on the couch and peered at him from an upside down cock of her head. She smiled at him as he sat there, his hand propped up on the arm and his face in his fingers as he watched her.

"How long have you been sitting there?" she asked him with a smile.

"A while," he said still watching her. It was as if he was both undressing her and devouring her at the same time with his eyes. It made her stomach butterfly.

"I love the way you look at me," she smiled turning over on her stomach and dropping her sketchbook to the floor.

"I love the concentration you have when you draw," he smiled back. "Any ideas?"

"Several," she smiled wickedly. "But nothing that the Expo could see." He nodded appreciatively.

"I see the movers came," he said with a nod to where the boxes once sat.

"Yes," she nodded, her smile dimming. "About an hour ago."

"For the best," he told her. Again she nodded as she pushed herself off the couch and went to him in the chair. She crawled into his lap like a cat, her legs draped over the edge of the arm of the chair. Her head resting just to the side of his chin on his chest.

"Thank you," he whispered as he placed a kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes and inhaled his magnificent scent.

"I just opened the doors," she told him softly. "I didn't carry any boxes!"

"I'm not talking about the movers," he said into her hair.

"I know," she smiled under his lips. "I'm going to tell you something. Something you already know but I'm going to say it aloud so there is no chance at misunderstanding." She pulled her head out and looked at him.

"I'm a stubborn bitch," she said without a smile. "You won't be able to push me away. I know that is what you do, to protect yourself from your past. But you try that with me, I'm going full on stage-five cling on!" This got him to chuckle at the threat. "I'm talking rabbits in boiling water type stuff here." She smiled alluding to the movie Fatal Attraction.

"You know nothing of my past," he said to her. He then looked deep in her eyes and saw something that made his stomach flop. "What did Pavel tell you?"

To lie or to tell the truth. That's what Alex needed to decide right now. If she lied and he found out that would be bad. To tell the truth could be worse. Would he become furious? Would it be the atomic bomb that Pavy warned her about? Would it destroy what she was falling for?

To lie or to tell the truth? To lie to the Jedi?

"Everything," she whispered.

"Everything?" he repeated. The sound of his voice was strained. She couldn't tell if it was anger or regret. She got a taste of both.

"Everything," she repeated with her head down. She heard his heart speed up. His breathing increased. His body tensed under her cheek. Oppenheimer was right. He became the destroyer of worlds with his invention. This was going to level her. But he had been lied to enough. She wouldn't do that. Trust.

"I see so much of her in Elizabeth," Gavin whispered. "So much so that it scares me."

"Elizabeth is not Carla," Alex lied. She knew better. Elizabeth was traveling down a road Gavin had seen. If he was this worked up about it she knew he knew better.

"It's going to happen," Gavin said after getting his breath back from the way Alex hit him with the name. Like a baseball bat.

"That's not something you can control," Alex whispered. "As much as you want to, you can't control people." She lifted her head. "This is why you hide in the illusion of BDSM. You think you are in control. But you said it yourself. You don't have control, unless I give it to you. Therefore your illusion is based on my control."

Gavin tilted his head at her.

"Oh my," Alex gasped. She realized he had believed the lie. The illusion. "Sweetheart," she shook her head. "The sub gives you that control. I give it to you willingly. Open eyed. Freely. But I decided when it ends."

She leaned into his lips.

"I surrender my control to you," she whispered against his lips. "I submit to your will. Your demands. I submit to your control. Freely. Willingly. Lovingly."

"I accept that responsibility," he whispered back as his lips brushed against hers. "I will protect you. I will care for you. I will provide for you." She let her tongue slide into his lips and traced the inside of his mouth. Pulling his top lip into her mouth and sucking on it.

"I own you," he said at last. 

"I accept," she whispered. "Gratefully!"

She adjusted her collar in the mirror. It's soft blue lace matched her eyes. The pendant lock that dangled on the end she played with as she adjusted it to make sure it was centered. In full view for everybody to see. She was owned. 

Gavin's form filled the doorway and her eyes drifted to him as she bit her lip to control her giddiness. He was dressed in a black shirt and charcoal pants. His collar open. No tie tonight which surprised her. Semi relaxed like with Pavel. Semi Dom.

"I wish I could wear this all the time," she smiled at him holding the lock on the lace. 

"Why?" he asked her.

"So everybody knows," she said turning to him and leaning against the counter.

"Everybody already knows," he said coming to her.

He pressed his body to hers and moved millimeters from her lips with his. His breath on her. She felt him against her hip. His hand moving to her face as his magical fingers gently brushed against her skin. Her body began to tremble with excitement as his fingers moved lower. Down the side of her red dress.

"Take hold of the counter top," he whispered with a smile.

"No hands," she smiled as she gripped it as instructed.

"No hands," he repeated as he lowered to his knees.

"Fuck," she gasped as he lifted her dress and put his lips to her sex through her undies.

"Later," he chuckled. "Now I need a snack."

He pulled her panties to the side and let his tongue trace the outside of her hood protecting her clit. The feel of his soft, hot tongue on her caused her leg to shake as he had put one over his shoulder and the other now held her up.

He recognized this and lifted her up with his hands gripping her ass and setting her on the counter. He then returned to his knees and pulled the panties aside unveiling her sex to him again.

He ran his fingers over it lightly causing her body to quiver under his soft touch. He just sat admiring it for a while. Watching his fingers trace the outside. Watching her body react to his light touch. A jolt every now and then as his fingers hit her most sensitive spot bringing a smile to his face. One of loving reverence.

Looking up at her as he lowered his head to her, his mouth just a scant distance where his lips just barely touched her. She held her breath and that made him smile wickedly. He let his tongue come out slowly. Letting her see it. His eyes locked on her face so he could revel in her expression when he finally gave her what her eyes were begging for.

He waited. That drove her mad and she wanted to move her hips to his mouth but she willed herself not to. Enjoying this maddening torture he was giving her. The moment when she knew he was going to satisfy her, but when he was ready.

Then his tongue was on her. Softy there. Right on her clit. Gently flicking at it causing her to gasp. Her eyes fluttered closed, her head dropped back as she felt like she could cum right then. That joyous rapture of elation that he was touching her most intimate of intimates. 

His tongue moved about her sex slowly. Tracing the outline of her lips, before running up the center causing her to jump when he hit her super sensitive bud. Down slowly on the outside, then back up the other. Then down the center once more, down to her spot in between her sex and her anus. That sensitive area being flicked at by the tip of his tongue. She gasped each and every time his tongue hit her.

Back up he went, up the center and on top of her clit. Her body began to shake. Her muscles straining to keep herself in check. He loved it. Her attempt to control herself.

His fingers came into play now. Gently pulling her apart to reveal more of her to his tongue.

"Thank you sir," she whispered.

"For what?" he smiled.

"For making me cum," she smiled. "Just in case you make me forget myself!"

"You're welcome," he whispered as he kissed her lips. Down there. 

He began to work her lower lips like he did with her mouth. Kissing and probing with his tongue like he was French kissing his lover in a passionate kiss. Finishing with a suck of her lips that pulled them out.

His tongue probed in her, the feel of it caused her legs to shake on his shoulders. He suckled her clit with his mouth. Sucking in the soft piece of flesh, holding it there with his suction while flicking at it with his tongue while it was in his mouth. She gasped as she began to rotate her hips to his mouth. Gently fucking it with her slow grind.

Her hand pulled on his head as she lost herself in her budding orgasm. It was building in her and she wanted to hurry him along.

"Uh hmm," he said softly never moving him mouth from her causing the vibrations from his voice to ripple through her sex. Her eyes flickered open and she looked down at him and saw her hand in his hair. She didn't even know she had let go of the counter! She quickly removed her hand and gripped the counter again with a naughty smile.

"Sort of sorry," she gasped as he continued to work on her. Never stopping his gentle mouth loving of her sex.

"You and your hands," he whispered sending hot breath across her wet sex causing her to shiver uncontrollably. She said nothing, lost in his manipulations. Her hips beginning to rock on his mouth. Her orgasm building in the pit of her stomach. Slowly building, like an old fashioned tea pot. 

Her face reddening under the pressure that was building. Her body beginning to shake as her orgasm gained total control of her. Or maybe Gavin was being the puppet master. Guiding her to her orgasm so easily with his mouth.




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 16



The cum came in a rush as her hips lifted off the counter as the muscles tensed in her stomach and legs causing them to lift without her knowledge. He suckled her through it as it gushed on his face. Not quite a squirt, but close. Her ass hit the counter after it was over and it was then and only then, did she realize she had lifted off of it.

"Holy shit," she whispered approvingly. He slowly rose and she pulled her legs off his shoulders as he did so. His mouth found hers and she greedily ate him. His tongue. His lips. Everything. 

She felt his fingers enter her causing her to gasp at the gentle insertion. First his middle finger. Then his ring finger as well. He began slowly at first. His fingers pistoning in and out of her. His speed building as she rocked her hips against his strong hands as her second orgasm built. She loved the fact he didn't ever stop with just one orgasm. For him it was always multiples. Anything less than that was unacceptable and she was fine with that!

She wrapped her arm around the back of his head unknowingly again as he suckled her ear. Breathing into her ear causing her to become lost in her descent into her pool of orgasmic bliss. The second one coming stronger that the first one. 

This one did squirt a little onto the counter. He didn't stop. His fingers continued to push her over and over. Riding another wave of cum causing her to grip him tightly to her. Her muscles in her arm flexed tightly around his head as she lifted herself off the counter once more before collapsing again.

His fingers slowed. Carefully. Gently bringing her down from her high. She opened her eyes and saw her hand in front of her face as he gently nuzzled her neck.

"Goddamn hands," she laughed as she wiggled them in front of her face. She was working them to get the blood flow going again as she had clinched her fist so tightly during her orgasm that her nails dug into her palm.

"God did not damn those hands," he smiled. "He blessed them!" 

Gavin sat up after she released him. His smile was one of satisfaction. Gone was the turmoil of Elizabeth if only for the moment. She pressed her lips to his mouth and gently let her tongue probe his lips.

"I love the taste of me on your lips," she whispered softly.

"I love the taste you anywhere," he returned.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 17



Chapter 20* 

Gavin and Alex strolled into the large house. Alex again was awed at the size of the home in the country. It seemed that Gavin knew a lot of rich people. She knew he took care of the elite in society, so money was everywhere, but it still didn't stop her from dropping her jaw in disbelief as she saw some of the finer things in life. The cars, the dresses, the jewelry, the massive homes and lavish estates. 

Gavin had been distant all day, she knew he would be. As much as he tried to insulate himself, he was still hurt. She had tried to keep him up. Tried to keep him from thinking about Elizabeth. She succeeded for the most part and hoped the party continued to be a nice distraction from her and his anger. 

Alex's body was all a tingle as she looked around. She wondered what she was going to see here. Would it be like last time? Would she be in awe? Would she be shocked? She couldn't wait for what the world was going to show her today! 

"Gavin!" a woman called out drawing her attention. 

It wasn't Madelyn, this woman was younger and taller and that was compounded by her leather boots that went up to mid-thigh. This woman screamed Dominatrix! Her leather corset covered her fit body, but it barely contained her ample chest. Her black hair streaked with highlights of red that matched, not only her nail polish, but her lipstick and the strings of her lace up corset. She was a symphony of coordinated attention to detail. 

"Alysia," Gavin smiled as she made her way over to them. He leaned over to Alex and whispered in her ear with a crooked grin. "Whatever happens, do not leave me alone with this bitch." Alex turned to him but his smile told her that he was joking.  

"Don't be calling me a bitch!" Alysia told him as she got there. 

"Me?" Gavin scoffed, pretending to be offended at the insinuation with a hand to his chest completing the dramatic denial. "I would do nothing of the sort! You know I adore you!" 

"Not enough to stay my sub!" Alysia told him while she kissed him on the cheek. Alex was suddenly floored. In all the things she had hoped to learn tonight, that was not one of them. This is the woman who'd had Gavin for a sub? Holy Shit! 

"Not out of your lack of trying," Gavin nodded. 

"God you look delicious," Alysia said drinking him in. She faked a shiver of enjoyment as she looked at him from head to toe. At least Alex thought it was fake. An instant spike of jealousy hit her. 

Alysia looked to Alex and her smile broadened as she looked Alex over much the same way she had just done Gavin. Alex's anger left her, as the woman in front of her ticked her eyebrow up as she seemed to find Alex very pleasing. 

"This must be Alexandria!" the woman smiled. "Your new pet." 

"Yes on Alexandria," Gavin told her. "No on the pet. She is now mine. I have claimed her fully." 

"Two?" Alysia gasped snapping her head to him in disbelief. "Gavin violating an absolute? No fucking way! No chance. No how!" 

"Elizabeth has moved on," Gavin told her sharply, warning her with his tone that this conversation should end. This caused Alysia to cock her head. She read him perfectly. She could see the anger and disappointment. 

"Her loss," the woman said finally with a shrug and twisted lips. "She didn't deserve you anyway." Gavin didn't reply. Alysia turned to Alex. She took hold of Alex's chin gently with a finger and thumb, tilting her head from side to side. Inspecting her. 

Alex allowed it, as did Gavin. Alysia didn't ask permission as Madelyn had that first time. This woman just did it, showing she was used to doing what she wanted, when she wanted. Alysia ran her finger down her neck to Alex's exposed chest. The red dress Alex wore left her rather open on top. Her breasts held high by the push-up bra she wore. 

"And you dressed her in my favorite color!" Alysia gasped as her finger brashly dipped inside Alex's dress, brushing one of her nipples. Alex didn't know what to do. At the first party no one touched her. At this one, this Mistress was boldly touching her, and Gavin was allowing it. 

"Purely unintentional," Gavin told her as he watched Alysia. "But hey, I don't mind pushing your buttons." 

"Fuck you," Alysia gasped not taking her eyes off Alex as she relished in the feel of Alex's flesh. She was picturing the pleasure Gavin was attaining from this sub. 

"You can now take your hand off my sub," Gavin smiled falsely. 

"Oh," Alysia laughed, pulling her hand back. "Sorry. I couldn't help myself!" 

"Try," Gavin said flatly. 

Alysia went to Gavin and ran her finger down his cheek. 

"God I'd love to fuck you again," Alysia claimed boldly, uncaring about Alex's feelings. Alex was done, she was ready to claw the woman's eyes out. She just now got claimed by Gavin fully! Now this bitch was being so bold as to try and claim him as well. 

"No chance," Gavin said firmly. "I have Alexandria and she is all I need." 

"For a year," Alysia pointed out with a shake of her head and a roll of her eyes. Alex's breath caught in her throat. It seemed everyone knew about Gavin and his length of ownership. "Then...," 

"Yeah, this one is not like the others," Gavin interrupted. 

"Really?" Alysia smiled stepping back finally from her close proximity to Gavin. "Madelyn said she was phenomenal. Has this sub finally succeeded where the rest of us failed?" 

Gavin rolled his eyes and looked around the busy party. Avoiding her eye contact for a few moments. He brought his eyes back to Alysia. The Mistress never took her eyes off him. She never blinked as she read him like a poker player staring down a bluff. 

"Wow," Alysia whispered as she studied him. "She must be phenomenal. To have you thinking those thoughts alone is miraculous." 

"Alysia," Gavin warned his voice tight with anger. 

"Ok," Alysia smiled without him finishing. "So the snooty bitch is gone and Alexandria has done the impossible." 

Alysia turned to Alex. 

"Welcome Beautiful," Alysia said to Alex for her first words to her. 

"Thank you, Mistress," Alex said with a formal nod of her head, lowering her eyes. 

"I thought she was a novice?" Alysia asked Gavin. 

"Almost a month in," Gavin said proudly. 

"You must be a fantastic teacher!" she marveled at the submissive behavior this one was displaying. 

"Alexandria is the fantastic one," Gavin bragged. "I'm merely introducing her to the life, she is the one grabbing it by the horns and forcing it to her will." 

"A Dom in the making?" Alysia asked, her smile now approving. 

"She is a Switch," Gavin admitted to her. "She won't embrace the Dom side as she feels that it would cause a problems with me." 

"So she has figured you out," Alysia said with a cocked eyebrow. 

"She has to accept who she is, like I did," Gavin shrugged. 

"That my dear," Alysia smiled. "Is the beauty of being a Switch, she can have both." 

"I'm not a sub," Gavin told her. "You know that." 

"You were a magnificent sub," Alysia told him stoking his cheek lovingly in remembrance of his servitude, albeit a brief one. "Did he tell you he was once a sub? This magnificent Dom...was once collared?" She asked Alex. 

"Yes Mistress," Alex told her with her eyes down. "He told me he tried it, but it wasn't for him." 

"My biggest disappointment," Alysia frowned. "I had him, but couldn't fully claim him. I envy you." 

"Your loss...is my gain," Alex said with a smile. "With all due respect, Mistress." 

"Yes," Alysia smiled admiring the sub in front of her. It was a smile of acknowledgement of a worthy adversary. 

"Well, I must attend to my guests, as much as I would rather be here with the two of you. Could I interest you in playing for us?" Alysia asked Gavin. "It would make it a party to remember!" 

"Perhaps," Gavin said slowly, looking at Alex who held her breath in disbelief. 

Alex wanted to look at him, wanted to read him. But she didn't dare. Things she could get away with when they were alone, were not a good idea at a party full of Doms. But she wondered if he was serious? Would he use her in front of all? Her body reacted favorably at the thought. Gavin working her body with all eyes on them? Her body heated up, her pulse raced with the ideas of the things Gavin would do to her. 

Alysia walked away and Gavin led Alex to the bar and picked up two glasses of champagne. Alex looked to him for explanation as he handed her a glass. 

"I can see that would please you," Gavin smiled as he waved with his chin as his name was called out from another party goer. 

"Only if it pleases you," she said to him never taking her eyes off him. 

"I won't be the one naked in front of everybody," Gavin pointed out with a giggle behind his glass of champagne. 

"What would you have me do?" she asked. The excitement creeping up in her voice. She thought of the jealousy that would rage in the kittens in the room with Gavin showing them what he could do. With the powerful orgasm he could evoke from her so easily. It may be petty, but she would love to rub it in, the things he could do! 

"I don't know," he admitted. "I like to go with what strikes me at the moment. What desire I have at the time. I fulfill it. I'm not much on planning things out." 

"As you wish," Alex smiled. "I am your sub, I bow to your desires." 

"God that makes my dick hard, the way you say that," he smiled kissing her lips. 

"God you make me wet, with the way you kiss me Sir," she smiled in return. 

Gavin walked around with Alex at this party. Unlike the last where she was escorted by Madelyn. Gavin held her fingers lightly in his as they maneuvered through the crowd. The soft murmur of people looking at them as they went by. Alex heard her name with a jealous bark once or twice. This made her smile each and every time. She would reach up from time to time to ensure her collar was properly set and in view. 

Going up the stairs to the second floor they found a woman, naked, and bound to the banister. Her chain like collar tight against her throat, gently digging into her skin. The metal left red, raw marks on her throat. 

Alex looked on astonished. The rope that held the woman to the banister was looped through steel bolts in leather cuffs on her wrists and ankles, then wrapped around the banister itself. Her mouth was gaged by what looked like a thick rectangular piece of black rubber. 

Her teeth digging into it as she watched people walk by her. Some never bothered to look at her, dismissing her immediately. Some stopped and ran their fingers over her. It was the nipple clamps drew Alex's attention. On the end of each one, was a chain that connected the two clams and where silver weights hung low in the middle that caused constant pressure on them. Pulling her nipples taut and downward. 

Gavin saw Alex looking as they approached so he stopped in front of the bound woman. He pulled Alex up next to him and the woman at the banister bowed her head. 

"What is this all about?" Alex asked him in a whisper. Gavin studied the girl for a moment. 

"I'm guessing she was naughty," Gavin shrugged. "It's not often that a collared sub is left out like this unless it is some sort of punishment." Alex nodded as she watched the woman. 

"Am I correct?" Gavin asked her. The woman nodded slowly. 

"I wonder, what did she do?" Alex continued to whisper as others were walking by. 

"Shall I take the bit out and we can ask?" Gavin chuckled with a shrug. He loved Alex's inquisitiveness. 

"Can we?" Alex asked him with a crinkled nose and an embarrassed smile. 

"She is out here in the open," Gavin frowned showing his disproval of such a punishment. "It usually means she can be dealt with however one pleases." 

"I see that does not please you," Alex said turning her eyes back to the sub. 

"A consequence should be firm. It should also have a definitive beginning and a definitive end. It should also only come from the Dom themselves. This is lazy. This is disrespectful," Gavin said firmly with a deep exhale. 

He looked to Alex and shrugged. 

"Like I said," Gavin said turning his eyes back to the sub. "Each Dom is different. Not necessarily bad or good. But it depends on the sub. How they respond to such things as this." He looked at Alex and chuckled. 

"Something tells me this would not make you behave. I'm guessing I would have my hands full once I released you and then I would have to consequence you a second time for my failure to correct you properly," he sighed. 

"I don't know how I would respond to this," Alex admitted. "I guess it would depend on what happened to me while I was tied here." 

"Therein lies the problem," Gavin frowned. "Her master is downstairs, not up here with her. How does he know what she is having to endure? She is protected, for sure, as no one would go too far with her, but where is he? Not here. That would be unacceptable to me." 

Alex looked at the chain with the clamps and the weights. 

"Do you think it would be alright if I touch her Sir?" Alex asked him, completely enthralled by the way her nipples looked in the clamps. 

"Of course," Gavin encouraged. "Be careful with the clamps," he said looking close. "They aren't properly on." 

"Yes sir," Alex smiled as she touched the woman's breast gently. The woman shivered at the light touch. "Is this like the wax?" She asked him noticing her response. 

"Similar," Gavin nodded. "Subtle pain that brings sensitivity." 

Alex watched the woman react to her soft fingers on her breasts. The woman's eyes were very approving of her soft touch. The way Alex's fingers moved in circles around her nipple. Gavin watched her with a smile of pleasure as he looked on her as she experienced something new firsthand. 

Alex ran her finger lightly around the nipple at first, then touched the end of it. Each touch bringing a shiver or a moan of pleasure from the bound woman. 

"I wonder," Alex started but stopped. 

"What?" Gavin asked her as his fingers joined Alex's and they played together on the woman's body. 

"If she likes this as much as I like the wax?" Alex said running her fingers over Gavin's as they intermingled with each other on the body of the bound sub in front of them. 

"Find out," Gavin suggested with a nod. Alex smiled broadly and looked around, like she was going to break some rule and the security would come and slap her hand away. She moved closer to the woman. 

"Are you wet?" Alex asked in a whisper in the woman's ear. Alex's hand trembled slightly as she reached lower and cupped the woman's sex with her hand gently. "Not wet, but definitely warm!" 

"I'm guessing that may have more to do with you," Gavin smiled as he kissed Alex on the side of her face. 

"The things you say," Alex smiled as she pulled her hand back. The woman bowed her head at Alex, in thanks, for the gentle touch. 

"When are you going to admit it?" Gavin asked her shaking his head. 

"When you are willing to let me," Alex responded never taking her eyes off the girl. She knew what he meant without it being said. This was about her being a switch. When would she let herself become what Gavin was so sure she wanted? 

"I have told you repeatedly to accept it, so go ahead," he said with a firm jaw. 

"No," Alex said pulling back from the girl on the banister. "I will admit it when you allow me to. When it is appropriate for me to allow myself to engage it. That is either with you allowing me to Switch on you, or when you allow me to play with another at you direction and approval. See you think I have this overwhelming urge to dominate someone. I don't." 

"You don't?" Gavin asked pointing to what she was just doing to the girl on the banister. 

"No," she said calmly but firmly, trying to keep the worry from her voice that this would blow up into an argument resulting in consequence. "I'm doing as instructed by my Dom. I'm learning. Experiencing all before I make a decision, as commanded by you." 

"Stubborn as a mule," Gavin laughed. Alex didn't answer. She instead, leaned in and kissed the woman on the cheek. 

Moving on Gavin looked into a room where there was plenty of sex going on. Several couples, some threesomes, even a foursome of three men and a woman. Alex's smile let Gavin know she was interested. 

"A bit too public for my taste," Gavin winked at her. 

"There is a lot going on," Alex admitted. "But it is very hot!" 

"Come on," Gavin nudged her on. "There are a lot of rooms to see, let's see what they offer before we decide on what to watch." 

Alex moved on and she pulled Gavin closer to her. Her body was revving. Her sex warmed at the sights. It was as overwhelming as the first party. The things she was seeing. Hearing. Smelling. The scent of wax, perfume and sex filled the air. It was a cornucopia of tingling sensations. 

The next room had a woman suspended from the ceiling. An elaborate system of winches and ropes holding her firmly in place. 

"Holy shit!" Alex gasped. 

Gavin chuckled as he led her in and Alex saw there were several people seated around the woman. Some talking to one another. Some watching with interest. Some playing with each other as they watched. 

Gavin sat down in a love seat and Alex curled up next to him. She leaned her head on him and nibbled his upper arm through his sleeve. Yes she was getting excited. Not that she had to tell Gavin, but she had to do something! Her heart was beating hard in her chest. Her breathing was shallow. Her hands shook with excitement as her senses were on overload! 

A man was testing the ropes to make sure the woman was secure. 

"That is Angelo," Gavin smiled pointing out the man who was doing the checking. "A very good Dom." 

"He seems very intense," Alex noted as the man never smiled as he moved about. His brow was puckered like he was trying to figure out a quantum physics problem. His eyes hard and focused. 

"He is," Gavin agreed. "A bit short tempered, but his subs come first." 

"A sign of a good man," Alex teased causing Gavin to shake his head at her joke. 

Alex watched Angelo work. Once he was satisfied the sub was secure he went to the side and adjusted one of the wenches. It lifted the woman's top half up and bent her into a slight backward "C" shape. Her breasts were thrust outward, with her arms and feet behind her, stretched to their limit. 

Angelo moved back to the woman and ran his hand over her skin. Starting at her neck, then moving down to her nipple. He tugged on one, pulling it taut then released it. He did the same with the other. Back and forth he went. One nipple, then the other. With a sudden flick of his wrist, he smacked one breast causing it to echo in the room from its impact. 

The sub cried out slightly at the strike, but Alex could tell she was ok. She watched the Dom check on his sub much the way Gavin did with her. Constantly looking at his sub, watching her for anything more than what he was expecting. Alex could also tell this sub was experienced. She knew what was going on. Alex admired that, a sub who could anticipate. She didn't have the knowledge base to anticipate anything with Gavin. 

Gavin looked to the side and found Alex entranced with what Angelo was doing. He smiled. Always so eager. He loved that about her. Eager to learn. Eager to please. Eager to serve. 

Angelo went to the table and lit a candle. Alex's smile grew as soon as he did so. She could anticipate her body now! Wax, something she wanted more of! She watched Angelo saunter toward the woman, never rushing. Taking his time. Alex could appreciate how that alone would build the excitement. That waiting. Sometimes the waiting was the hardest part. The sweetest part as well. 

He came to the woman and held the candle close to the woman's breast. For a split second Alex thought he was going to burn her directly but he didn't. He just let the heat of the candle waver out to her nipples causing the woman to drop her jaw in anticipation. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 17



Lifting the candle and turning it so that the middle of the candle melted down to a liquid the woman watched him. Alex could see her chest rise and fall in its stretched out position, it was moving as fast as hers. 

Angelo slowly tilted the candle and a thin line of wax fell. It splattered on the sub and she constricted her muscles causing her to lift slightly in the binds. Angelo slowly moved to the other breast and did the same there. 

Back and forth he went. One nipple, then the other. He was using a large amount of wax on the sub. Gavin's tease about 'not burning the witch' brought a slight chuckle from Alex to which Gavin shook his head. 

"I bet I can guess what you are thinking," Gavin whispered to her. 

"That I have no doubt, my Jedi Master," Alex teased. 

Angelo did not peel the wax off as Gavin did on her. He left it there making Alex smile. This was so engrossing. She wondered how many different ways there was to use the wax as a sex toy? She also was noting the subtle differences between the Doms she ran across and her Dom. Angelo went to the table and brought out a flogger. Alex bit her lip as she watched, her face nestled on Gavin's arm. 

Angelo gave a couple twists of wrist as he brought the flogger across his hand. Carefully measuring its impact before he would use it on his sub. He moved to the front and swung gently at first. Striking the suspended sub across the breast with a crackle of the leather. One breast, then the other. She whimpered under each strike. Not under too much duress. A whimper of both pain and satisfaction. Alex could hear them both in the woman's soft cries. 

Back and forth he went, his speed increasing as he did. Transferring from one breast to the other. He began to twist the flogger in a figure eight swing as he struck. As he went, he began to speed up, the impacts coming faster. Crackle sounding more like electricity in the air. The power becoming stronger. 

The sub's soft skin reddening under the impact. Starting off a deep tan, moving to a pink, then moving on to a red before he stopped. He ran his fingers over her reddened skin, inspecting her carefully, removing what little wax was left over from the impacts of the flogger. His secret smile came out and Alex matched it when she saw it. Angelo was pleased with his work, and his sub. 

Alex could feel herself moisten. It was driving her mad to see something like this, knowing how delicious if felt and not being able to engage in it. Now she was hoping Gavin would share her in front of everybody. Knowing Gavin, she knew he would do this to her for sure, as she was showing so easily how much this session was pleasing her. 

Angelo went to the wenches and adjusted them again, changing the woman's position. Now she was more upright. Her arms stretched out and up. Her legs out and down. 

"Wouldn't her arms get tired supporting her weight like that?" Alex whispered to Gavin. She was careful to say it to where only Gavin could hear her. She didn't want to show any disrespect to this Dom, but she was concerned a bit for the sub. She knew not all Dom's were as concerned about the sub as Gavin was. 

"Maria is a very accomplished sub," Gavin assured her. "She is very comfortable there, Angelo has brought her along slowly. Like anything, you start off slow, a few minutes at first, then you increase the time as her body becomes accustomed to it." 

"Yes Sir," Alex nodded. 

"It helps that Maria was once a gymnast," Gavin chuckled. "She is very well conditioned. Angelo would never put her in any danger." 

"No, I don't doubt that," Alex nodded. "I can see the respect you have for him, so I'm sure it's been earned." 

"It has," Gavin nodded. "Besides, there is nothing worse than pissing off the wife, sub or not!" 

"What?" Alex turned her head to him. "They're married?" 

"Yes," Gavin giggled at her shocked reaction. "Did you think that we were all single?" 

"I," Alex paused as she thought about what he said. "I guess I never thought about it!" 

"Maria and Angelo have been married for more than ten years," Gavin told her. "It's not uncommon for a sub and Dom to get married." 

"But not you," Alex frowned. Gavin looked to her. "I mean if all your relationships last a year, you don't allow anyone to get close enough to take that next step." 

"It's a big step," Gavin said staring her down. 

Alex knew better than to look at him. He would read her easily. Not that he wouldn't do it anyway. But at least this way she felt like she was able to keep it from him. An illusion for sure, but she was ok with it. 

"Are you saying that I was right?" Gavin asked her with a cocked head. "That you are looking for a husband?" 

"I'm not looking for a husband, like desperately or anything," Alex told him defensively. She finally turned her eyes to him. "But if you are asking me if I have thought about you as my husband...I won't lie. I have thought about it." 

"A bit early, isn't it?" Gavin said with a shake of his head. 

"When does one start to think of that? When is the magic number?" Alex asked him. "Three months? Six? A year?" Alex shook her head. She didn't want this to blow up into a full fledge fight, but her temper was spiking at his dismissive tone on marriage. "It sounds like I have eleven months to convince you that I'm worth keeping around." 

"Look," Gavin exhaled deeply. "Alysia said it, but that doesn't make it so." 

"Have you had a relationship last more than a year?" Alex asked him pointedly. "Since Carla?" She hoped that didn't come out as harshly as it sounded to her. 

Gavin studied her then turned away. 

"I'm not pushing," Alex told him softly as they went back to watching Angelo work. "I'm just saying, I've got you pretty well figured out. You have me pretty well figured out. I think we are compatible. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't be here." 

"So this isn't about the sex?" Gavin laughed, easing the tense moment. 

"The fantastic sex," Alex corrected with a smile, thankful that he did so. "No. There is more to you than your ability to give an orgasm." 

"Multiple orgasms," Gavin corrected jokingly. Alex laughed. 

"I guess nothing more than sex has ever entered your mind?" Alex said, again keeping her eyes from him. In her periphery she saw him look at her. 

"I wouldn't say that," Gavin admitted. "You are definitely something I'm not used to. It's not often I have to adjust to people. I find myself adjusting to you all the time. It's exciting at times. And intimidating at others." 

"I can live with that," Alex nodded. "I'll keep you interested at least." 

"For how long?" Gavin asked her. 

"I can keep you interested for quite some time," Alex said knowing that was not what he was asking about, but she wouldn't push the other issue. That may blow up in her face. Instead, even though Gavin was still staring at her, she kept her attention on the show in front of her. They were proof that it was possible to be a Dom/sub and husband/wife. 

Angelo moved a machine into place behind Maria. He carefully positioned it just under her, it had a dildo on the end of it. A large dildo! It was black and thick. The dildo was connected to a steel, silver shaft and that connected to something Alex couldn't identify. 

"What is that?" Alex finally asked when she couldn't figure it out. 

"It's called a fucking machine," Gavin said with a soft sigh and a smirk. Knowing he was setting Alex up for a twist on words. 

"I know it's a machine," Alex rolled her eyes, misunderstanding. 

"No, it's a fucking machine," he said with more emphasis on the word. 

"What?" 

"The machine has a dildo connected to a motor that will piston it in and out of Maria," Gavin explained. 

"Seriously?" 

"Seriously," Gavin giggled at her expression. 

"For how long?" 

"All night if Angelo wants," Gavin shrugged. 

"Holy shit!" 

"See, this is better than a human," Gavin explained. "There is no arm to get tired from thrusting a dildo in and out. There is no erection to worry about. The machine just pumps. In and out. In and out." 

"Have you seen this before?" Alex asked him. 

"Yes," Gavin nodded. "Believe it or not, I watched Maria cum over a hundred times in one session." 

"No fucking way," Alex gasped in disbelief. Gavin chuckled but nodded. 

"A hundred times?" Alex clarified with a stunned expression. Gavin again nodded. "I can't wrap my head around that!" 

The machine started off slow. Angelo making sure it was properly positioned. Not going too deep, not a threat to fall out. He took a bottle of lube, and while it fucked her, he squeezed the lube on the black phallus to ensure proper lubrication. He then went to his sub/wife and kissed her on the mouth. 

Alex watched in amazement as this woman began to moan in pleasure. Her body beginning to shake with the power of the machine. Her breasts bouncing as her body moved. Alex watched the dildo thrust in the woman, disappearing in her as it plowed into her sex. 

Alex watched as Maria's hands began to flex, the muscles in her arms tightening as her orgasm took hold of her. Her head falling back in an open mouthed silent scream as her body quivered under the power of her body shaking. 

After she released her muscles from the orgasm Angelo slowly turned the machine up to a higher speed. He continued to do this from time to time as it pounded away. Angelo also would, from time to time, squirt more lube on. All the while paying close attention to Maria. 

Sometimes he stroked her sensitive nipples. Sometimes he would kiss her lips. Sometimes he would squeeze her globes on her chest. Smacking her ass from time to time. Telling her what a good girls she was as well. All of which had Alex imagining a change in participants. With her and Gavin taking the roles of Maria and Angelo. How long could she go before she couldn't take the machine anymore? 

After several minutes and many orgasms with Maria seemingly screaming out the entire time. Her orgasm flooding from her in a semi constant stream. Alex looked on in amazement as she watched the machine batter away at her sex. Unrelenting. She was trying to wrap her mind around it all, but was failing. She could only wonder, how long could she last? 

After about a half hour Alex finally blinked. Or so it seemed. She was mesmerized. 

Gavin looked to her and she smiled at him with a shake of her head. They left them and moved on. The next room had a woman, upside down, and Alex and Gavin stood in the doorway as another woman had a wand massager and was gently placing it on the pussy of the upside down woman. The bound captive's pussy was head high and the woman's face was reddened by both her orgasms and the upside down position. 

"Come on you little whore!" The Mistress demanded. "Cum for me!" The woman screamed out in pleasure as the Mistress pulled on the chain attached to her nipples, it also connected to the woman's pierced clit. That boggled Alex's mind. 

Alex watched as the Mistress pulled on the chain, which in turn pulled on the sensitive flesh it was attached to. 

Gavin nudged her and Alex smiled. Yes she liked the wand massager. She wondered about how the piercing in the woman's clit brought new sensations to the table. Alex saw the woman's body tense as another powerful orgasm hit her. This woman screamed out as a gush of fluid squirted out. Causing Alex to jump in surprise! It moved at least two feet in a stream. Granted, Gavin had made Alex squirt but this was a huge amount! It was like coming out of hose! It was so much, Alex couldn't tell if it was cum or pee. 

"That is what we call a gusher," Gavin told her softly, reading her easily. It wasn't that hard as Alex's jaw was agape as she tried to capture it all and process it. 

"Pretty rare. A lot of people can squirt, but to put that amount out...well...,"Alex nodded that she understood, but she was flabbergasted. The fluid the woman put out leaked down her stomach to her chest as a gravity pulled it down her body. Coating her. Causing her body to glisten in the light. 

They moved on, the next room had a woman in what appeared to look like hammock like device that hung from the ceiling. Her hands were bound above her head, there were straps just under her knees lifting and spreading them apart. She hovered just about waist high, her back towards the ceiling, her stomach to the floor. 

A large man stood between her legs and used the straps to pull her backward to him as he thrust his cock into her. She grunted as she swung forward and backward into the man as he fucked her. 

The sound of their bodies crashing into one another filled the room, there was also the distinct smell of sex in the room. The woman's grunts floated to Alex's ears and she envied her. The man was just having his way with her. There was nothing she could do to impede his desires. Her hands were bound, she was levitating off the ground so moving away from him was also impossible. She was at his mercy. It made Alex wet her lips as her mouth dried out. 

The angle in which the woman was at, left all three holes available. Her pussy and ass were pulled open by the straps pulling her legs widely apart. Looking at the woman's face, she appeared to have some sort of metal device in her mouth that connected to a bridle that kept her mouth open at all times. All the man had to do was pull out, spin the woman and then push his cock into her mouth if that was what he desired. 

"Is that a sex swing?" Alex asked him. He nodded. "I have heard about them but have never seen one! That looks awesome!" Gavin said nothing as they watched the couple. Alex shook her head. There was so much she didn't know! 

She watched the man pound the woman harder and harder and it was obvious his orgasm was mounting. Alex wondered just how he was going to finish. Would he bury his cock in her pussy flooding it with his seed? Would he do what she hoped, pull out and bury it in her ass to deposit there? 

He did neither, pulling out and spinning the hanging woman to have her face near his cock. He squeezed the tip of his cock harshly holding his cum back as he positioned the woman. Grabbing her by the hair to hold her in place so she wouldn't spin back around. Then with a growl he released the pressure on his cock tip and a strong stream splattered all over the woman's face, the hot stickiness coating her eyes at first, he then moved the third and following shots into the woman's mouth. He coated her face causing it to drip to a puddle on the floor.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 18



Chapter 21* 

Making their way back downstairs, Alex's body was on fire. She would have to address this soon. Her body ached for Gavin's touch. His lips. His fingers, and hopefully...his cock! Guiding Alex into a large room on the first floor they found a woman in what appeared to be a set of stocks. Alex was reminded of the old days, where the Puritans would put people in stocks as punishment. Their head through a hole in the center block of wood, their wrists as well. 

This woman was similarly bound. She was completely upright though. Her head sticking through the center hole of the stocks. Her hands next to her head through smaller holes. Her bare feet stood on blocks of wood several inches off the floor. Her ankles bound to the metal supports of the block. She was completely immobilized. 

Now Alex knew it was a woman by her body as she was completely naked. But her head was completely covered in a leather hood, hiding her identity. It had no holes for eyes but her mouth was open to allow breathing, and the occasional cock to be inserted Alex guessed. 

The woman's chin rested on the block stretching her neck out. Alex thought it looked rather uncomfortable being stretched out like that, and to be held there for any length of time would be tiring. 

Gavin guided her to chairs that were set up for those who wished to view the show the woman was obviously going to be a part of. The only thing that was unknown was who was going to use the woman. 

Alex's eyes were brought off to the side as Alysia walked in. The jealousy washed back over her as she watched her walk to the woman bound. Alex wondered what that woman had Gavin do as her sub. More importantly, how did this woman convince him to succumb to her wishes? Could Alex use a similar approach to get her wish with him? Alysia bowed to the crowd as they tamped their hands on the arms of the chairs in applause. She winked in Gavin's direction and Alex clutched Gavin's hand tightly causing Gavin to grin. 

"Easy now," he smiled. "You have me, she does not." Alex said nothing because anything said now would be said in a disrespectful snarl because of the way Alysia was looking at Gavin causing the anger to well in her. 

"Good evening friends," Alysia called out as she stood next to her unknown woman. "This here is Erin." Alysia said patting the woman's bare bottom softy. "Erin is one of my new toys. Not a sub, but a toy." Alex furrowed her brow. A toy? Was that a step above, or a step below a pet? 

"Erin, likes to be played with," Alysia explained. She stroked the backside of the bound woman. "She likes to be touched. She likes to be used!" This brought an approving murmur from those gathered in the seats. 

"So, tonight, instead of me being allowed to play with this delicious toy, all by myself," Alysia said running her fingers over the woman's nipples. "Anyone here can. So feel free to come up and sample the wares." Alysia moved to the side and allowed the guests access. 

Many of the people sitting got up and moved closer. They moved around the bound woman in a circle. Touching her skin. Her fingers. Her breasts. Smacking her backside causing the sound to bounce off the walls. 

One man cupped her sex and slid a finger in and Erin raised up on her toes at the intrusion. He probed her roughly. He pulled is finger out and sniffed it with a smile. The group orbited her, moving about her taking full stock. They then slowly wandered back to their seats. 

Alysia came back with a smile. She stroked Erin's backside and whispered to her. Alex read her lips easily. 'Good girl'. Alysia motioned to a man off to the side and he came over to her quickly. Together they went to the sides of the rack and pulled a pin on each side. Erin's body was then bent over at the waist. Her face still covered and locked in the stocks but now she was bent over. 

Alysia dismissed the man and Alex looked to Gavin. 

"Her sub," he answered her silent question. Alex nodded and looked back at the man at the side of the room. He was dressed in leather chaps. His butt cheeks hanging out. His studded leather collar a solid proclamation. His chest bare and strong. His short spiky hair showed his youth. He was college age at best. 

"Now, I haven't had the pleasure myself," Alysia said to the group. "But I hear she sucks cock really well! Anyone interested in trying?" Alysia looked to Gavin immediately and Alex fought the urge to get up, walk over and punch her square in the nose. Red being Alysia's favorite color, then let the red flow from fucking bitch's nose! 

Alex laughed inwardly at her inner kitten. Not much better than Candy! 

A man stood and moved over to Alysia and she smiled at him and waved him to Erin with a sweep of her arm. The man pulled his zipper down and reached in and pulled his cock out. It wasn't overly long, Alex noted, but it was thick. 

The man moved up to Erin's covered head and pushed his cock into her mouth without warning. Erin greedily accepted this unknown cock into her mouth and Alex thought about that. Would that be hot? To have a man's cock, that you didn't know nor could you see, shoved into your mouth like that? Alex weighed the idea and found it somewhat erotic to her, Gavin's absolute would never allow that to happen though so she dismissed it as a fantasy. 

The man shoved his cock in and out of her mouth roughly as Erin was unable to move. Alex could hear her gag from time to time. Her mouth stretched to take in the girth of the man at her face. Alex shifted in her seat as she body warmed again from the sight before her. The sudden desire to have Gavin's cock in her mouth began to overwhelm her. 

She wanted the taste of him. His cologne, his body wash. His personal flavor of sweat and essence. She wanted to wrap her tongue around the head of his cock. To take him deep into her throat. To gag as Erin was on the cock in her mouth. Alex finally had to force the thought from her head or she would do it. Right here in front of everybody and she knew Gavin would not approve. Not the reserved Gavin. Not Gavin the Dom. 

The man erupted with a grunt, his seed spilling from his cock into Erin's mouth who let it in enter but then let it fall out. She didn't swallow any of it. She thought back to the shower in Chicago. While she sucked Gavin, Elizabeth demanded that she swallow Gavin's cum, to not waste any. Erin didn't do that, then again, the man wasn't her Dom. Perhaps it wasn't allowed. Something to ask her Dom later. 

Her Dom. Her Dom, she repeated in her head. That made her smile. No longer the pet. Now the sub. Officially. Completely. Now Gavin's absolutes were hers. She was absolutely Gavin's! That made her giddy all over again. 

Alysia returned. This time with something in her hand. It had a black handle and a red tip. The red part was about three inches in length. Alysia ran her hand over Erin's body. The woman shivered with pleasure. 

Alysia moved the toy close to Erin's ass and just when Alex was about to ask what the toy was, a crackle of electricity filled the air drawing Alex's eyes back to the show with a snap. 

Alex watched as Alysia moved the toy to the other cheek, again a snap of electricity rang out. 

"It's called an electro toy," Gavin whispered to her in her ear. His hot breath causing her to shiver and smile. He smiled at her response. "It delivers an electric shock, variable, at the discretion of the Dom. From a mild tickle like a nine volt battery on the tongue to a sharp shock. Like an electric fence. Not enough to damage, but enough to get your attention!" 

Alex nodded. God she loved her Dom! He could read her like a book and knew she had questions without them being asked. 

Alex watched Alysia slowly move around Erin. She moved quietly. Obviously trying to keep her next location of the toy a secret. Letting the shock of the toy let Erin know where it was by surprise. Alex watched Alysia put it to Erin's nipple and it caused the woman to yelp. This brought a smile to Alysia's face. She moved the toy to the other side and it snapped the other nipple. 

"Can you tell which setting it's on?" Alex asked about the toy. 

"Yes," Gavin nodded. "By sound. It's on its highest setting. It's a sharp bite." Alex nodded. 

"Have you used it?" Alex whispered. 

"I've used them all," Gavin said unemotionally. He then turned to her and shrugged. "There hasn't been much I haven't tried. That's not bragging, I've been doing this a while." 

"I know," Alex smiled. Gavin was beyond braggadocios behavior. Confident yes. But not arrogant. 

Alysia continued to play with Erin. Moving down her body to her sex. Letting a jolt go there as well and Alex cringed at the idea. Maybe not there, Alex decided. That would be too much! 

Alysia moved to Erin's feet. Alex shook her head slightly. Yeah, she said inwardly. Absolutely not! The sharp crackle at Erin's foot caused the woman to call out sharply. 

"Hmm," Gavin smiled looking at Erin and Alysia. 

"What?" Alex asked him as they watched the show. 

"A definite red," Gavin shrugged. "I'm surprised. I was beginning to think nothing was off limits for you." 

"Nothing is off limits to you," Alex said shaking her head that he would think that. "But that? Not too sure I would like that at all. Not on my feet anyway." 

Alysia moved away from Erin after stroking her body with her fingers. 

"As you can see," Alysia smiled. "Erin is very receptive and her body is delicious. Would anyone like to play with her?" Alysia asked the crowd but she was looking directly at Alex as she said it. Her eyes inviting her specifically. 

Nobody stood to go over. 

"How about it Alexandria?" Alysia asked her. "Wanna play?" Alex looked to Gavin who looked at her with a cocked eyebrow. 

"It would please me," Gavin told her questioning eyes. 

"Your absolute?" Alex asked him a bit miffed that he would share her. 

"She is not going to use you," Gavin explained. "You are going to use her. You would be the Dom." Alex looked back as Alysia smiled. Alex looked back to him with a firm jaw. 

"You are desperate for me to decide on my Switch?" Alex asked him hard. 

"No," Gavin said back sharply. "And you are about to get a consequence for your fucking tone." 

"I'm sorry sir," Alex said lowering her eyes. 

"Alexandria," Gavin said after a deep exhale. "I want you to play." 

"Yes Sir," Alex said standing up immediately. Alysia's smile beamed. 

"Alexandria," Gavin said to her, stopping her. "Change roles. Embrace it. You are the Dom. You have a very specific duty. You have to be the Dominant. You cannot have two submissives. One has to take control. Erin is a true submissive, not a Switch like you. She won't lead you, you have to lead her. Know your role here, you are the protector. You are the disciplinarian." 

"Yes sir," Alex said to him understanding what he was getting at. "As you wish, but only because you desire it." 

"That...is twenty," Gavin told her pointing out her insolence. 

"Yes sir," Alex frowned. That wasn't supposed to happen. First day as the only sub and she fucks it up, she growled inwardly. 

Alex walked up slowly trying to hide her apprehension while Alysia stood waiting. 

"I'm not pushing Gavin's agenda," Alysia whispered to her. "I'm just really interested to see how you would work here. Being a novice and all," Alysia explained. "I find it very intriguing that a novice is both a sub and a Dom. I want to see how you work, how your mind works. I want to learn from you. An experiment, if you will." 

"Gavin is so sure I want this," Alex frowned explaining her apprehension. "I like new things, but I only want him." 

"Don't worry sweetheart," Alysia said with a soft hand to her face. "This doesn't change that, just go with what you feel. Erin is very receptive and has a high pain tolerance. If there is any doubt, look to me and I will nod if she can handle it." 

"Thank you Mistress," Alex said for the guidance. 

"Enjoy yourself," Alysia pushed. "That is what this lifestyle is about. Enjoyment." 

"Yes Mistress," Alex nodded. 

She left Alysia and went to Erin. Alex stood there for a moment in front of her. Thinking of what to do and how to do it. She looked over her shoulder to her own Dom. He sat with his legs draped one over the other. His arm laid across the back of the chair next to him as he watched with his head propped up by his hand. She couldn't read him. His eyes were focused on her. 

"Good evening Erin," Alex said coming to her. "My name is Alexandria." 

"Good evening, Mistress," Erin responded from beneath her hood. Alex began to circle the woman. Moving to stand behind her. 

"Before I play with you," Alex said to her. "I want you to know, I'm not a Mistress." 

"I understand," Erin replied. 

"My Dom believes me to be a Switch," Alex told her. The crowd in the room watched with interest. Alex could feel their eyes on her as she looked to Gavin but he had his poker face on. Nothing showing to lead her one way or the other. 

"I understand," came the reply. 

"For now," Alex smiled. She would start at the beginning she decided. Like Gavin did with her. "I wish to play with you, with your permission. Do you consent to my control for tonight?" 

Alex didn't know how to approach this. She was winging it. She didn't know if she would cross some line at some point. She knew Gavin asked for her permission that first night. She gave it, then he started. She figured that was a good place to start. 

"Yes Alexandria," Erin said formally. "I wish for you to play with me." 

"Good," Alex smiled. "You look beautiful and I'm very anxious to play with you." 

"Thank you, Alexandria," Erin said. 

"For now," Alex said noting a tick of disproval from Gavin by his tight lips. "Call me Mistress as that is the role I'm assuming." 

"Yes Mistress," Erin said. 

Alex began by touching the skin of the bound submissive. Her fingers gently spreading across her skin. Moving down her back to her firm backside. The woman was very fit Alex noted. Athletic. 

"Erin," Alex began again. "I am a novice at this, so for tonight and only with me, we will be using safe words. I don't know what your rules are for you Master, but as I'm a guest and new, we will use them." 

"Yes Mistress," Erin whispered. 

"My overall concern is your safety and our pleasure," Alex said moving her fingers to brush them across Erin's nipples and they responded immediately. 

"Yes Mistress," Erin smiled. "Thank you." 

Alex then went through her own safe words with Gavin. Red, yellow and green were explained. Erin whispered that she understood. 

"Good," Alex smiled. "Then we begin. I am going to put you back upright. I want to see you." 

"Yes Mistress," Alex looked to Gavin before moving to the front of Erin. He smiled at her reassuringly. She was on the right track anyway. Judging by Gavin's smile. 

"Mistress Alysia," Alex said to her. "May I borrow your sub for a moment?" 

"Absolutely," Alysia smiled from her spot next to Gavin. 

Alex hadn't realized she was sitting with him until she looked. Alex looked to the man to the side and he came to her. Alex could see his frown. His eyes spoke of disrespect. He ambled over instead of his fast walk when Alysia needed him. Know your role, Gavin's command of her echoed in her mind. Her anger flared slightly. He came to her but it was on his own time. 

Alex stared at him. The fire in her eyes was evident but he paid no mind to it. 

"Yes?" he asked. "What do you want?" 

Alex took hold of the loop on his collar for his chain and gave it a yank pulling him down to her level. 

"For you to behave properly for starters! To show me the respect your Mistress would demand from you!" Alex barked at him. "To address me properly." 

"Yes," the man whispered from his bent position. "Alexandria." She tightened her grip on the man's collar. 

"You don't get that privilege," Alex warned him. "To address me by name." 

"Yes...Mistress," he lowered his eyes for the first time. 

"Alexandria," Alysia's angered voice caused Alex to tense. Perhaps she took this too far. "Feel free to punish him for his disrespect! Know that I will also have him properly dealt with for this embarrassment!" 

"Help me move her upright," Alex said to him staring at him as he slumped slightly. 

"Yes Mistress," he said immediately. 

They moved to Erin and pulled the pins, they then lifted her upright and replaced the pins locking the stocks in place. 

The man stood nearby waiting for Alex's next command. She moved to him and stood there. 

"Kneel for now," Alex told him firmly. "I will deal with you after I have played with Erin. I hope, for your sake, her pleasure placates my anger." 

"Yes Mistress," he whispered as he knelt. Alex stole a peek at Gavin and he winked at her, his smile let her know she was doing well. This also told her she had assumed the proper demeanor and attitude. It relieved some of the butterflies of inexperience. 

Alex moved to Erin and kept her back to the group. She let out a deep exhale. She hadn't realized her heart had sped up and her breathing did as well. 

"I'm sorry Erin," Alex said to the woman. "For the distraction. You now have my undivided attention." 

"Yes Mistress," Erin let a little smile cross her face. 

Erin had only been able to imagine what was happening near her. Her eyes covered kept the incident from view, but her ears heard it all, the tone. The words. It all screamed this 'novice' was in complete control. She instantly respected that. 

"Now," Alex smiled. "What to do to you?" Alex moved to a table of toys. 

"Do you like wax?" Alex asked seeing the candles. 

"Yes Mistress," Erin replied with a tint of excitement in her voice. 

"By your voice, I can tell you more than 'like' it," Alex smiled. "I love it as well." She lit the candle and brought it to Erin. Alex looked to Gavin as she moved to the front of Erin, Gavin seemed pleased as he leaned into Alysia as she whispered in his ear. Gavin nodded as Alysia turned her eyes back to Alex. She nodded to Alex approvingly. 

Alex watched the liquid at the top of the candle. Its puddle forming as she turned it slightly allowing the flame to melt the wax. She had seen Angelo do this upstairs. She decided to do the things she had seen or experienced. 

"Erin," Alex said as she seemed satisfied with the puddle. "Remember our safe words." 

"Yes Mistress," was the reply. 

Alex moved closer to Erin, but before she began with Erin, she turned the candle and let a small dribble fall to the back of her hand. She wanted to get the distance right. Not too close to burn, but close enough to get her aim right. After a couple of trial runs on her hand she moved to Erin. 

"Ready?" Alex asked her. 

"Yes Mistress," Erin smiled. 

"Good girl," Alex smiled, this in turn brought a brighter smile from Erin. 

Alex held the candle above Erin's nipple and let a small dribble come out, splashing on her breast causing Erin to gasp and suck in a breath as the sharp pain radiated. Alex frowned as her aim was off, she moved slightly and tilted again. This time hitting closer to the nipple, but not on. Alex again adjusted and the third dribble found its mark. 

Alex then moved to the other nipple and waited for the candle to puddle again, once it had a sufficient amount. 

"Talk to me Erin," Alex encouraged as she watch the puddle grow. 

"Green, Mistress," Erin responded. 

"Good," Alex smiled. "Here we go." 

Alex felt compelled to warn the sub, she couldn't see and this was something she wanted her to know about. While Alysia intentionally moved about with the electro toy in stealth, Alex decided not to do that. Apprising Erin of her every move. 

Her aim was better this time, hitting her mark on the first attempt. Erin gasped and let her smile beam as Alex hit her mark. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 18



Alex went back to the other breast and dropped some more there. Then finished with another drop on the other breast. When she was satisfied she had them properly coated she blew out the candle, intentionally close to the coated nipples causing a wave of goosebumps to flood Erin's body from the sensations of her breath across the wax. Alex smiled wickedly at the response as she moved by Erin to the table to set the candle down. 

She looked at the kneeling sub as she came back. He was still there, head down. Waiting. Alex frowned at him. 

Moving back to Erin she brushed her fingers across her open breasts, avoiding the waxed areas for the moment. 

"Your skin is so perfect," Alex whispered. 

"It belongs to you," Erin smiled. "And your magnificent touch!" 

Alex moved to the wax and carefully peeled it from Erin. Her nipples encased in wax protruding outward. Once Alex had removed the wax she smiled. She brought her tongue in and carefully traced the outer areola first causing Erin to shake with the feel of her wet tongue on her sensitive skin. Alex grinned. 

Gently pulling the nipple in between her teeth caused Erin to convulse slightly. Alex held it between her teeth with a gentle pressure as she let her tongue flick the end causing Erin to shake visibly with every brush of tongue on nipple. 

Alex let her hand come up to the other nipple and pulled gently on it with her fingers. Pulling it outward then twisting it slightly between her thumb and forefinger. This caused Erin's legs to shake. Something Alex took pride in. 

"Absolutely delicious," Alex praised as she released the nipple. She moved her hand down Erin's stomach to her soft sex and cupped it gently. She found it nearly dripping. 

"Oh my!" Alex marveled. "You do like this!" 

"It's your touch," Erin smiled. 

"Sweet," Alex smiled at the compliment. 

Alex carefully pushed a finger in Erin and she gasped as did Alex at the ease in which her finger penetrated. The wetness of Erin's pussy allowing it. Alex backed off and found her clit. Staring at Erin's mouth she smiled when Erin bit her lip. That must be a universal sign of enjoyment Alex mused. 

Rubbing Erin's clit made the woman's legs shake as she stood on her blocks. Alex inserted her fingers back in causing a satisfied gasp. First one finger then two. Resting her palm against the stiffened clit she left the pressure from her palm there and just moved her fingers. 

"May I cum Mistress?" Erin asked after a few minutes. 

"Not yet," Alex smiled with a devilish grin. She decided to use a little Gavin. The whimper made her smile grow. She liked that. That power. "I take it you want to cum?" 

"Yes Mistress," Erin said with a slight plead in her voice. 

"Well," Alex laughed. "We are entertaining the crowd. Let's let them decide." Alex looked over her shoulder. "Should we let the beautiful Erin cum?" Alex asked. There was a giggle from the group behind her as they looked to one another. 

"No," was the universal answer. 

"Hmm," Alex smiled turning back to Erin. "It seems they want to see you in some duress!" 

"Yes Mistress," Erin said as she gritted her teeth. 

Alex pushed her fingers faster, Erin's body began pushing her juices out. She watched the woman struggle with holding her orgasm at bay. 

"Please Mistress!" Erin finally broke her silence. 

"No," Alex said firmly. "Do not disappoint me." 

"No Mistress," Erin gasped. "I only want to please you!" 

"Good," Alex smiled. 

She felt the surge of power filter through her. It was empowering to have this control. She felt powerful! She was relishing in it. She could see Erin's legs shake and that made Alex bite her own lip. She could tell by the way Erin shook, the way her teeth dug into her lip, she was super close. 

"Well Ladies and Gentlemen?" Alex asked the crowd. 

"NO!" Was the cry, mixed with laughter. 

"Oh my," Alex smiled shaking her head as Erin's gasp of disappointment escaped. "It seems they wish to prolong your pleasurable torture!" 

"Yes Mistress!" Erin said, her voice cracking under the strain. 

Alex slowed her fingers to help Erin out. She didn't know how long Erin could hold out, or what she would do if Erin came before the crowd was ready. 

"How about now?" Alex smiled never taking her eyes of Erin's shaking body. This woman was so close she knew she was going to explode. 

"NO!" Came the cry. 

"Sadistic bunch," Alex laughed which brought laugher from the crowd. 

She brought her free hand up and ran her fingers over Erin's lips. Erin captured her finger in her mouth and suckled it. This brought Alex to full smile. She leaned up and into Erin's ear standing on her toes. 

"Cum for me Beautiful," Alex took the crowd out of it. She knew this girl was going to erupt no matter what the crowd wanted. And Alex wanted to reward her for her obedience. 

Erin's mouth opened as her body froze in a powerful orgasm that caused Alex's hand to wet and her fingers to squish as the cum slid around her fingers causing the already lubricated sex to become slippery with cum. Alex relished the ease of the orgasm as Erin called out, her voice showing the ultimate release of pleasure. 

The crowd behind them gently rapped their palms on the arms of their chairs showing their approval of the scene. Alex took it as a round of applause. 

"Thank you Mistress!" Erin said finally, once she came down and was able to speak. Alex brought her sopping fingers to Erin's mouth and inserted them into Erin's mouth as she struggled to regain her breathing from her erotic high. Erin sucked greedily, Alex quickly pulled her fingers out and then planted a kiss on Erin and allowed her tongue to invade Erin's mouth who accepted Alex's invasion with a breathy sigh. 

"You taste delicious," Alex whispered against her lips. 

"Thank you," Erin gasped as she tried to reel in her breath. 

Alex moved back to the table, she smiled when she saw it. A wand massager. She picked it up and flipped it from hand to hand as she made her way back. She looked to Gavin who was sitting very complacent, watching her work. His smile was soft and admiring. Proud and dare she say, loving? 

Alex moved back to the front of Erin and smiled as she turned it on, the sound filled Erin's ears and she matched Alex's smile. 

"Oh no," Alex smiled. "I'm not done with you just yet...Angelo manages to give Maria over a hundred orgasms in one session, I may not be that talented but I would never let you off with just one measly orgasm!" 

"I won't stop until your body is exhausted," Alex whispered in her ear. Erin gasped. 

Alex pressed the wand to Erin and the sub grunted with pleasure. Erin was still tingling from her first orgasm so it didn't take much for her to reach that plateau again. 

"May I cum Mistress?" Erin asked before she did. 

"Please," Alex smiled. "Cum as you need!" 

"Thank you!" Erin called out in the midst of her orgasm. Her legs shaking, her toes pushing her body against the stocks causing them to dig into her shoulders. Alex heard the splash of water and she looked down to see a puddle under Erin. 

"Oh my," Alex marveled. "Are you going to make a mess!" 

"I'm sorry Mistress!" Erin called out as her body continued on its upward high of another building orgasm. Alex took hold of Erin's nipples and sucked gently causing Erin's body to convulse repeatedly against the restraints as if she was trying to get out. Alex loved it. She moved to the other side just as the sound of a trickle of fluid hit the floor again. 

Alex could feel the heat between her own legs, her panties dampening with her excitement. She hated the fact that Gavin was right. She would have to admit it, she liked this. She liked this a lot! Her panties would give it away if she tried to deny it when he asked her. And he would ask her. 

By her eighth orgasm Erin was exhausted. Her body hung as her feet barely kept on the blocks. Alex recognized this and backed off with the wand. 

"Such a good girl!" Alex praised. 

"Thank you Mistress!" Erin said under heavy breath as her lungs needed replenished. 

Alex put the toy up and came back to her. 

"With your permission?" Alex asked Alysia indicating she would like to release Erin. Alysia smiled and nodded. Alex undid the stocks and moved the slats back to release Erin, who stepped down cautiously, her legs wobbly. Alex put her hands on her face and steadied her. 

"Thank you," Alex smiled as she kissed the girl. 

"No, thank you!" Erin returned. Erin pulled her hood off and Alex saw her for the first time fully. 

"Wow," Erin smiled. "You even more stunning than your voice!" Alex kissed her on the lips, allowing their tongues to dance. 

"You make a very good Dom!" Erin whispered in her ear as they embraced. Alex stroked her cheek in appreciation. 

"I'm not done yet," Alex frowned looking at the man kneeling. "Assume the position." Alex said with a nod to Erin. Erin bowed her head and assumed the submissive position next to the man. 

"You," Alex said her tone hard. The man looked up at her and Alex nodded with her head that he should replace Erin in the stocks. He looked to Alysia. 

"Don't you fucking look at me!" Alysia raged suddenly, her voice filling the room. "You have embarrassed me enough for one night!" 

The man stood and bowed his head then placed his chin in the stocks as Alex closed it around him. Alex went back to the table with a specific toy in mind. She picked it up and came back around to him. 

"Now," Alex smiled a fake smile. "Lucky for you, Erin pleased me a great deal." 

"Yes Mistress," the man said softly. 

"But," Alex continued. "I saw a smirk as Alysia used this earlier on Erin. Not a smirk of pleasure as to enjoy. But a smirk that reeked of pleasure at someone else in pain." The man nodded at her. 

"Don't fucking nod at me!" Alex barked. 

"I'm sorry Mistress!" 

It was all Gavin could do to keep from falling out of his chair in laughter as Alex barked at him. Alysia slapped at him as he struggled. Gavin straightened up and swallowed the laughter. 

"Have you ever had this used on you?" Alex asked him unaware of Gavin's enjoyment. 

"No, Mistress," he replied. Alex smiled at the tick of apprehension in his voice. 

"Well," Alex shrugged. "Then it's time!" Alex turned the electro toy on and watched his body tense. 

Alex brought it slowly to the man's side, the crackle of discharge caused him to cry out. 

"Seriously?" Alex scoffed. 

"I'm sorry Mistress!" the man immediately said. 

"Humph," Alex frowned. She moved to his abs and let another bolt out causing him to wince and hiss. She moved up to his nipples and let another charge go this caused him to call out again. 

"Erin handled this a lot better than you," Alex pointed out with disappointment. 

"I'm sorry Mistress!" he said again. 

"So you keep saying but are not changing," Alex said as she moved around him to stand behind him. Another snap on his buttocks caused him to shake. One cheek, then the other, but only because they were out and available. 

Alex shut the toy off as she stood in front of him. 

"I would say it is a good thing you have pants on," Alex frowned. The threat need not to be explained. If readily available she would have used it on his cock and balls. 

"Thank you Mistress," he whispered. 

Alysia looked to Gavin with a broad smile. 

"Kitty has claws!" Alysia teased at Alex's comment. This caused Gavin to laugh out loud. That she did, he smiled. Alex went to release the man from the stocks. 

"Alexandria," Alysia stopped her. "If you would, please, leave him where he is!" 

"As you wish, Mistress," Alex said bowing her head to her. 

Alysia came to her and lifted her head with her fingers under her chin. 

"Absolutely breathtaking," Alysia whispered as she kissed Alex's lips. "I apologize for my sub." 

"No apology necessary Mistress," Alex smiled. "I thank you for letting me play with your toys." 

"You handled it all so well," Alysia smiled holding her face by her chin. "Much beyond your experience level. It shows me, even at a novice, you are a natural!" 

"Thank you Mistress," Alex smiled. "Was my Master pleased?" 

"I know for a fact, he was," she assured her. 

Alysia released her and stood to the side to allow Alex to return to her chair. Gavin led the group with a tamping of his hand on the arm of his chair in applause for her effort. There were approving murmurs from the group as she took her seat next to Gavin.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 19



A special thank you to MsRoseEvans, silent submissive114, oneoflifesjewels, gentleoneexplorer and SSS (Nancy) for their constructive feedback and kind words. Thank you, they were much needed and appreciated! 

***** 

Chapter 21* 

Gavin led Alex out and several of the other spectators in the room nodded their approval at her. Alex let her smile out but she kept her eyes down as she felt that is what a sub should do. Gavin looked into a room as they walked down the hallway and then suddenly pulled her hand hard yanking her into the room, the force of which almost knocked her off balance. 

After spinning her into the room and releasing her hand gruffly, he locked the door behind them. Alex was startled at first, struggling to maintain her balance, then thought naughty thoughts as to his aggression but that faded when she saw his eyes. They were hard and angry. She swallowed hard and thought about what she had done to displease him. 

They were now in the library, hundreds of books sat on the shelves with a large desk near a window. There was a white lounge couch, the kind you would dream of to curl up on with a good book. She would like one herself being an avid reader, but she couldn't enjoy it now as Gavin walked to it and sat down. He nodded with his head that she should join him on the couch. She went to him slowly, her mind bringing up her insolence in the play room. 

While she could tell he was pleased with her for her performance and her acceptance of the role, it didn't come without some of her attitude. Before she could sit next to him, he took her by the hand and yanked her across his lap, her top half laying on the couch the bottom off the side. Her stomach resting on his lap. 

She said nothing as she knew nothing needed to be said. She knew he was angry, but she couldn't stop the tingling her body was cascading with. She shouldn't enjoy this as she could feel the anger on him but she did. She laid across his lap as still as she could. Her heart beat against her ribs as they rested on his thigh. Her backside laid just to the side of his knees. Alex felt his hand start at her knee and move up slowly. Running his hand across her nylons as he went. His off hand held her across her back, keeping her secure. 

As his hand hit the bottom of her dress he pushed it as his continued upward. His fingers brushing her bare backside gently as he went. Soon her exquisite, tight flesh was in the open. Alex tried her best to control her breathing but her body hadn't relaxed from the thrill of her play with Erin. Now it was in overdrive! She blew out a quiet breath in an attempt to calm herself. It didn't work. Her body shook slightly as the excitement coursed through her veins, pumping the thrill through her. 

Gavin gently rubbed her ass, it was bare except for the thong separating her ass cheeks. He marveled over the softness of her skin, the perfect curve of her cheeks. The firmness of them as he ran his fingertips over her succulent flesh. It was tough to stay focused. Part of him wanted to abandon the consequence and just enjoy the taste of her, starting with her magnificent ass and devouring her whole! He felt her body shake slightly. Part fear, part excitement. He knew the feeling. 

"I guess I don't have to explain," Gavin finally said as he continued to imagine his mouth on her, tasting her. To fill his mouth with her sex, her ass, her body whole. 

"No Sir," Alex whispered, struggling to keep her voice from shaking. This was making her fucking hot. She couldn't help it. She liked this, no she loved this! "For what it's worth, I'm sorry." 

"It's worth a lot," Gavin assured her. "But, this is what you have earned. I will reward you later for your behavior with Erin and the sub." 

"Thank you Sir," Alex whispered as she gripped the couch cushion. 

She put her forehead down and prepared herself as best she could. She was pleased that there would be a reward for her performance. He was pleased. It was the mouthy attitude before the performance that got her here. Bent over his knee, in a library, her ass open to him. Only a small piece of cloth that would be useless to protect her from anything he wanted. Which was the point of a thong, wasn't it? To be covered but maddeningly available? She tried to push that thought out, she needed to prepare herself for her consequence, but this was just too damn hot not to enjoy! 

Gavin lifted his hand and brought it down sharply. The sound of skin on skin contact filled the room as she jumped at the force. Her ass cheek stinging from the impact. 

"One," she whispered. Gavin brought his hand down again sharply on the opposite cheek. 

"Two," she whispered as he softly ran his hand down on each cheek. He began alternating cheeks with his strikes as she counted out each stroke. 

"Fifteen," she called out, her voice tight with pain. 

She didn't want him to stop, but her ass was on fire. She was torn between calling out one of her safe words, and stopping this consequence for now, or allowing him to finish. She hated the idea of using the safe word, she had done it once and regretted it. No, she would endure this, this is what she earned she told herself. Then a thought filled her head, it wasn't the pain that was upsetting her. Yes her ass was on fire, but that wasn't what was bugging her the most. 

"Sixteen," 

"Seventeen," now her voice cracked and a tear escaped. 

The tear wasn't for the pain. That was manageable. It was during this spanking that she realized how much she had displeased her Dom which weighed heavily on her conscious. The knowledge of disappointment was worse than the physical pain of the consequence. That was something she found harder to accept. She had displeased him! 

"Eighteen," 

"Nineteen," 

"Twenty," Alex exhaled deeply. "Thank you Sir, for your patience." 

Gavin gently ran his fingers over her reddened backside. His smile he kept from her, she had done very well with this consequence. He wished he didn't have to do it, but like any loving Dom, he must maintain a uniform acceptable behavior. Lines and rules must be maintained. He let his fingers run down in between her thighs. 

"Now I know you like being spanked," Gavin smiled as he felt her wetness. "But this is beyond that." He pointed out as he let his fingers pull aside the elastic of her underwear and dip into her sex with a soft touch. 

"Yes Sir," Alex admitted with a soft gasp of pleasure at his touch on her. "You were right...I'm a Switch. I liked playing with Erin. I liked the feeling of being completely in control. I also liked punishing the horse's ass as well." 

"Was that so hard?" Gavin asked her as he continued to stroke her sore backside with one hand, while gently stroking her sex with the other. 

He was enjoying the radiating heat they both were putting off, the soft wetness begging for his invasion. The reddened ass cheeks under his fingers quivering as her muscles shook beneath her skin. He looked to her ass while his fingers played, gently massaging it and leaving her dress pushed up over her hips revealing her reddened backside open to his eyes. She could feel his stare on her and she wondered if he was imagining how good it would feel fucking it. 

"No Sir," Alex admitted looking over her shoulder at him. "It's just scary." 

"Why?" Gavin asked her turning his eyes from her ass, to her face. 

"I'm afraid you will use it to push me away," Alex said softly. "I don't want it if it doesn't involve you." 

"You are so sure I am going to push you away," Gavin frowned as he turned his eyes back to his handiwork. 

"As sure as you are about me being a Switch," Alex swallowed hard. "The only difference is...I hope I'm wrong." 

He let her slide from his lap and she assumed the submissive position between his legs. He looked to her for a few moments before he leaned forward towards her. He cupped her chin in his hand and held it firmly. 

"You are wrong," Gavin whispered. "I have no desire to push you away." 

"For now," Alex whispered. Gavin frowned. 

"As much as you think you know me," Gavin said softly. "Even I don't know that. All I can tell you is, I have never felt this way about a sub. You said you were going to try and keep me interested. Well...I'm beyond interested. I'm desperately interested." He kissed her as she was about to talk and she lost all sense of where she was. 

Driving away from the house, Alex shifted in her seat as her sore ass made sitting uncomfortable. She didn't care. This night would be memorable. Not just for the sights upstairs. Not just for her Switch coming out. But for the fact Gavin admitted he was feeling as she was feeling. That was memorable. In the end it may not matter, she decided. Gavin will do what he feels he has to in the end. But for now, she had him. 

She furrowed her brow as he wasn't headed home, he also wasn't headed to her place. 

"Got more up your sleeve, Sir?" Alex asked him. 

"Always," he grinned. She turned in her seat and looked at him. He looked as Alysia described. Delicious. Fuck-able. 

"May I suck your cock Sir?" Alex asked him brashly. 

The question erupted from her lips easily, like one of her orgasms under his skilled touch. She couldn't explain it, she just had an overwhelming desire to suck his cock again as she had in the mansion. Now she could exercise that desire, hopefully, if he allowed it anyway. He looked to her and saw the hunger in her eyes and knew she wasn't kidding. 

"If that would please you," he smiled. 

Alex didn't waste any time in responding with words. She responded with action. Flipping off her seat belt and kneeling on the soft leather of the bucket seats, her body over the center console. She hastily pulled his zipper down and pulled his semi hard cock out. She smiled that he was semi hard just at her offer. 

She lowered herself down on him and took him in her mouth. He was as she knew he would be, delicious. His essence filling her mouth with pleasure. Her body awash in goose bumps as she swallowed. His hardness pushing on her tongue as she used it to press on the head of his cock. 

She gripped the bottom of his shaft and held him firmly as her head bobbed. She growled as she ate him hungrily. Her excitement overwhelming her, causing her to devour more that suck. He grunted a groan of approval. She bobbed frantically, her excitement leading her, forcing her to go fast. She wanted to go long and slow, to fully enjoy him for hours but her body was having other thoughts. Devouring him was the only thing acceptable right now. 

She pulled her mouth off and stroked his cock, pulling tightly as she pulled some of his pre-cum to the head from the shaft. She licked it with the tip of her tongue causing him to quiver slightly. She smiled. She liked that. Without warning she took him all the way down, her nose nestled into his groin. 

"Holy fuck!" Gavin hissed as she tried to concentrate on his driving. That was beginning to become a chore as she was aggressive in pulling his orgasm from him. She pulled off only when she needed a breath. She sucked it in as she stared at his head in the passing streetlights. Quickly taking him back down, not all the way but enough to make his hips lift and drive himself farther in her mouth. 

Alex loved this. She loved sucking his cock. She loved the taste of him. She loved making him gasp. She continued to bob her head, her head in the space between the steering wheel and his flat stomach. His hand drifted to her the back of her head as he began to push her head in his excitement. She let him set the pace with his hand, her grin tipping at the edges of her lips. Yes he was the Dom, but right now, she was in control. She was bringing him pleasure. His fingers began to wrap in her hair, taking a firm grip as his hips lifted off the seat. 

She let him fuck her mouth, and push her head. She just waited. She waited for his cum to fill her mouth. She waited to please him completely. He let go of her head and she started to bob furiously again to keep the pressure on him. 

His hands drifted to her dress and he yanked it up baring her ass to anyone in the next lane. If there was anyone there, she didn't know as she was again nose buried into his groin. She relished the idea that there might be someone there. Some random person tiredly headed home from the night shift. Or a trucker hauling his load down the long, lonely highway. 

His fingers found her wetness and he plunged in forcefully causing her to moan out in approval. The vibrations of her pleasured moan, filtered down the shaft of his cock into his balls causing a grunt. He moved his fingers in and out of her, her body still wet from all that she had been a part of. The various rooms she witnessed. The playing with Erin. The spanking in the library. The admission that this was not an ordinary Dom/sub relationship for him. 

He pushed with a force causing her body to rock into her cock sucking. This made her gasp in pleasure as his cock was pushed further into her mouth. The head of his cock hitting the back of her gag reflex, not quite triggering it. 

Her orgasm leaked out around his finger as he worked her. Her moans of it echoed in the car as she stopped moving as her body went rigid as she rode the wave of her orgasm. When it released its ownership of her, she went back aggressively after his cock. She wanted to get him to that high now. 

His fingers pulled out of her sopping pussy and pulled the string of her underwear to the side. She felt his finger on her anus and she shook with pleasure, her teeth gently digging into the hot, hard flesh of his shaft. Slowly he pushed his cum soaked finger in her ass. The burning sensation there was the first thing she felt. Then she felt his cock harden even more than it was already, forcing her to release some of her pressure on his cock. 

That's how she knew he was really enjoying this, his already hard cock, got harder! This drove her wild, her speed picked up as she went after him with an utter abandon. An uncontrolled passion. An unbridled lust! 

His finger continued to press in and out of her tight ass, it burned. That she couldn't stop, but it also drove her wild in pleasure knowing that he was feeling her wanted hole. Not that he didn't enjoy her pussy. But she could tell, it was her ass that he wanted. Perhaps needed, to satiate his overwhelming burning desire. 

"Oh Fuck," Gavin growled as he buried his finger as deep as he could. 

She winced as he hit his depth, but his cock erupting in her mouth gave her mind something else to concentrate on. She pulled on his cock with her hand, jerking it into her mouth as he filled it. His body tense as pulse after pulse filled her mouth. She swallowed multiple times, her mouth never leaving his cock for fear of getting cum on his pants. 

When she was sure she had it all down she slowly pulled in a suction causing him to convulse slightly at the sensitivity he felt. She drug her mouth off and swirled her tongue around his head causing him to gasp. She licked the head clean, ensuring all his precious cum was removed. Sitting upright she used the fingers on her free hand to wipe her lip to make sure none escaped. She let go of his cock, she couldn't put him up as it wasn't soft yet so she sat back on her heels and looked at him with a mischievous little girl smile. 

"Thank you Sir!" She said softly. "I desperately needed that!" 

"You're welcome," Gavin chuckled in disbelief at her. "Glad I could be of service!" He shook her head at her and let his secret smile come out. He knew she was looking for it. 

"Now, please, put your seatbelt back on," he whispered. 

She sat back and put her seat belt back on. Safety always, she smiled slickly. Unless you are blowing your Dom in his Aston Martin sports car driving down the interstate! With his finger bringing you to an orgasm before he sticks his cum coated finger in your ass...then a little risk was acceptable! 

Gavin pulled his car up to Centennial Park and winked at her when she looked at him. 

"Thought maybe you would like to see what you will be using to inspire others!" he told her with a smile as he got out. 

She watched him adjust himself once outside the car. Arranging his cock to where it belonged. Then she thought about that, where it belonged was somewhere in her! She shook her head at her greediness. 

She started to reach for the door, caught herself and then pretended to be reaching her outstretched hand in a stretch of muscles with a smile. Trying to hide the fact she was going to the door handle. 

"Nice try," Gavin teased as he opened her door, as usual. 

"You can't change a lifetime of habit in a month," Alex smiled as she took his offered hand to get out of the car. 

"No one has ever opened your door for you before?" Gavin asked as he took her hand and put it in the crook of his arm. 

"No Sir," Alex smiled putting her head on his outer arm as they walked. 

"Really?" Gavin asked surprised. 

"No one," Alex smiled. "You are the first." 

"No shit?" Gavin shook his head. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. Yes he knew it was something of a novelty now. But he figured one person, trying to impress her, would have opened the door for her. A prom date or simply a first date trying to make an impression. Something. 

"You, Sir, are a dying breed," Alex said softly. 

"I guess so," Gavin frowned. 

"I can see that does not please you," Alex pointed out by his tone alone. 

"It doesn't," Gavin admitted. "I still believe that women should be treated like ladies. Respect, before all else. Men should do those things, not because you ladies can't, but with a gentleman around, you shouldn't have to." 

"I love that about you," Alex smiled as she looked up at him. "You are definitely one of a kind. And you are all mine, I don't share!" She giggled as she said this. She knew this wasn't her decision, it was his. She also knew his absolutes. He wouldn't share her, so the chances of him forcing her to endure watching him with another were very slim. 

"And you, I am learning, are all I need," Gavin said softly. "Which brings something to mind I want to discuss with you." 

"And that is?" 

"I don't want another pet," Alex stopped and looked to him, forcing him to turn to her. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well," Gavin looked skyward, trying to figure out how to say it. "Elizabeth brought you into this, and I am very thankful that she did, but I would prefer you didn't do the same." 

"So I can't bring a girl home to surprise you with?" Alex asked. 

Inside she was dancing. He was basically declaring he would not bed another woman. This pleased her more than she thought it would. She was learning a lot in this lifestyle, one of the things was a Dom could do what he wanted, when he wanted. Most of the time that included his sub. Sometimes it didn't. She knew it also depended on the boundaries of the sub as well, if they needed to be pushed. 

Gavin had never indicated he wanted multiple subs to her, his absolutes told her he didn't believe in them. But he did violate them for her. When she came on she and Elizabeth had to share him. 

She thought of Kelly's new Dom. He had three subs. Gavin disapproved of it, so for him to make this claim verbally was not a surprise to her but it still made her tingle in happiness nonetheless. 

"No," he said. "If we bring someone to our bed, I want it to be a joint decision. I want us to select. I know Elizabeth brought you in to replace her, and that is why I allowed it. But...," 

She silenced him with a kiss. Her arms wrapping around his neck. Her mouth pressed firmly on his lips, her heart beating so wildly against her rib cage she knew he had to have felt it. 

"Deal," she whispered against his lips. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 19



"I take it that pleases you?" he smiled at her. 

"I don't share," she repeated. "But I have a request myself." 

"And that is?" Gavin repeated back. 

"I admit I'm a Switch," she told him, she had to focus, this was going to be a demand, an absolute for her so she needed to say it the right way. Firmly but respectfully. She was getting lost in his brown eyes and staying focused was difficult. "But I want to be the one who decides when I adopt that persona. I will do what you want to please you, as always. But I would prefer my Switch be asked for." 

Gavin looked at her as he weighed her request. 

"I can live with that," Gavin finally said as he searched her eyes. 

"But?" she saw it in his eyes. 

"But you have to promise me, that if the urge to be the Switch comes to you, you have to tell me. And if it becomes that your pleasure is more suited to the Dom, then I need to know that as well and this relationship needs to end." 

"So I get to end this relationship?" She asked firmly plotting her next move carefully like a game of chess. 

"I have always let the sub end it," Gavin told her. "You know that." 

"Gavin," Alex began slowly. "Why is it then...that your relationships only last a year?" 

"What do you mean?" Gavin asked her. 

"You are perfect," Alex told him. "Too perfect sometimes. Not that I'm complaining. But why would a woman decide to leave you?" 

"This world we live in leads to strong desires that must be explored," Gavin explained with a soft shrug. "It's a drug, as much as I hate that analogy, it is the best one. If you take a drug, any drug, after a while your body becomes adjusted to it. Then it takes more to get to the same effect. For instance, an antibiotic, if you take the same antibiotic every infection, your body will stop responding to it. That is why as a doctor I change them up. To keep that from happening. This life is the same. You will become satiated by it and then want more." 

He took her hand and they began walking again. She loved the tenderness he was showing. The way he looked at her, the way he was holding her hand by her fingers. His closeness. His soft voice. 

"Every sub I have owned has done this," Gavin shrugged with a deep sigh. "I take them as far as I'm willing to go, then they want more. They move on." She looked up at him at the hint of regret in his voice. He smiled when she recognized it. 

"You see, it's not all my fault that my relationships last a year," Gavin winked at her. "They decide to end it. They want more. You will too." 

"And if I don't?" She asked him. "What are you prepared to do?" 

"What am I prepared to do?" he repeated with a laugh. "I don't understand." 

"Yes you do," Alex said firmly, not willing to accept he didn't know what she was getting at. He knew, because he could read her easily. 

"Marriage?" Gavin laughed. 

"It's been known to work," Alex pointed out. 

"Fifty percent of the time," Gavin pointed out right back. 

"I'll take those odds," Alex told him. 

"Fifty/fifty is worth betting your life on? Your happiness?" Gavin gasped. 

"With you...yes," Alex told him firmly. She turned him to show how serious she was about it. 

"Well," Gavin sighed as he saw the softness in her blues eyes. He lifted a hand to her cheek with a loving smile. "Let's cross that bridge if we get there. You may decide in a couple months you can't stand me." 

"Just as long as it's an option," Alex smiled turning her face into his hand. "That and as long as you lift the toilet seat!" she said in a laugh. 

"Uh, no," Gavin said firmly his brow firming up as well, his jaw setting hard. "I'm the Dom, I don't lift seats, I expect you to lift the seat when you are done, and lower it when you need it." His voice was a near growl, his eyes flashing at her that he was angered by the statement. 

"Oh," she frowned. 

They began walking again. She was only joking when she brought it up. Trying to alleviate the seriousness of her marriage conversation. The innocent joke seemed to anger him. They walked on in silence. 

"Alexandria?" Gavin whispered. 

"Yes Sir?" 

"I'm fucking with you!" he laughed with a laugh reminiscent of the laugh he had with Pavel. 

"Asshole," Alex laughed with him with a soft push of her hand. 

"And proud of it!" He told her with a kiss to her head. "Little one, I'm looking forward to us. I haven't felt this excited about the start of a relationship in some time," he admitted squeezing her fingers. 

"I'll be honest with you, I'm not really experienced in terms of relationships, but I'm loving the start of this one!" Alex agreed. 

Walking up to the wall Alex began to drag her feet. Not intentionally but her legs were heavy at the sight of it. 

"What's wrong?" Gavin asked her when she stopped walking. Alex's eyes were firmly planted on a small, white sign that sat in the ground at the base. 

Please do not touch me, I'm a project by Alexandria Lasko 

When she could move her feet again, she walked up to it and was breathless. Alex ran her fingers down to a corner of the wall that then turned to run along the sidewalk that ran next to it. 

"Alexandria?" Gavin said again. 

"I can't paint this," she whispered. 

"Why?" 

"I wasn't picturing something this big!" Alex put her hand to her face as she looked down the wall from the side. It was over forty feet in length and nearly eight feet high. 

Gavin came up and put his hands on her shoulders. He felt her shake slightly beneath his hands. 

"Relax," he whispered to her. "Yes it's large, but you can take it in sections." 

"Gavin," Alex whispered as she put her face in her hands in disbelief. 

"Relax," he whispered again. This time with his lips to her head. "It will be fine." 

"The ideas I had, will never work here!" she gasped. 

"It will be fine," Gavin repeated wrapping his arms around her comfortingly, giving her a gentle squeeze. 

Walking into the condo Alex was still silent. She hadn't said a word all the way from the park. Gavin let her be in her silence. She was despondent at the size of the wall, chewing on her nail on the way home, something he had never seen her do. 

Following him into the bedroom with her head down, she sat on the bed and buried her face in her hands. He knelt at her feet and gently pulled her shoes off before slowly rolling her stocking down her legs as well. 

"What are you doing?" she smiled at him. It wasn't her usual naughty smile. This one was forced. 

"You are not sleeping with your shoes on," he told her with a smile relieving her of her worry that he would want more. He stood up pulling her up as well. He turned her around and unzipped her dress before kissing her shoulder sending her into a waterfall of goose bumps. 

The dress fell to the floor and she stood waiting for his next move. He pulled her bra off slowly, pulling it down the length of her arms before he discarded it to the floor. Next were her panties, he slowly put his fingers in and eased them over her hips, half way down gravity took them and they wound up around her ankles with her dress. 

"Dressed or undressed for bed?" he asked her with his lips on her neck. 

"Whichever you prefer," she sighed softly, the tenderness overwhelming her. The thoughts of the wall easing from the front of her mind to the back while his ability to make her think of only his soft hands became the main thought. 

"Undressed," he whispered. He guided her to the bed and put her in, covering her with the blankets. He then disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed. She was staring at the ceiling when he came back out. He joined her in the bed and pulled her into his arms. 

"It will be fine," he whispered in the dark. "Something will click and you will be fine." 

"I wish I had your faith!" she whispered. 

"You have walked into a world you had no idea of, fearlessly. Yet something that is your strength causes you to pause?" Gavin pointed out. 

"Did you know it was that big?" She asked him. 

"No," he said kissing her head and pulling her tighter. "But I know you will figure it out. It's the one thing I have learned about you that I knew I had to have." 

"And that is?" 

"Your tenacity," he whispered. "That wall will bow to you like the sub did tonight. Nothing stops you...I need that in my life." 

"Thank you," she whispered as a tear fell from his tenderness. 

She rolled over the next morning and found his side of the bed empty. A note beside the bed told her he was on a call. 

"Of course," she snarled getting out of bed. She showered with the thoughts of the wall. 

Jumping into her car she drove back to the park. She saw it again in the daylight and felt it was larger than last night. She scowled at it as she dropped her art bag in the grass and sat down with a flop. She faced the wall and put her hands under her chin to prop it up. 

She didn't know how long she sat there, several people looked down at her as she stared at it. Some teenagers joked about her being crazy and the wall was probably talking to her. Calling her back to her home planet. She ignored them. 

"Alex!" The voice caused her head to turn and there was Gabby coming up to her. Her sharp navy business suit fluttering in the wind off the lake. 

"I can't do this!" Alex blurted at her. 

"What?" Gabby gasped as she stopped in her tracks. 

"I didn't know it was going to be this big!" Alex told her pointing with her hand towards the wall. 

"I said a mural," Gabby told her stunned. 

"I know, a simple wall, you know, eight feet by ten feet, maybe ten by twelve!" Alex gasped. "This is at least forty feet!" 

"Forty eight," Gabby told her. 

"Holy shit!" Alex fell backward into the grass. 

"I've already told the mayor," Gabby told her. "We have a meeting Thursday at one, that's why I'm here, to confirm you can make it." 

Alex didn't say anything at first. She laid in the grass, with her eyes closed, shaking her head back and forth in shock. 

"Alex," Gabby began slowly. "I need this." 

"I know," she whispered. "How did you know I was here?" She asked sitting up. 

"Gavin," Gabby told her with a great deal of concern on her face. Alex shook her head. How did he know she was here? 

"Alex," Gabby was shaking her head, trying to come up with a plan B. 

"I won't let you down, just a panic attack," Alex told her looking back at the wall. 

"You're sure?" Gabby asked carefully. 

"It will be spectacular," Alex assured pulling up her best smile. "Thursday at one, we meet the mayor." Alex went back into her stare at the wall. Gavin believed in her. She would trust him, like she had from the moment she met him. 

The sun setting let her know she had been there all day. Still nothing. She dropped her head and shook it. 

"C'mon, you can do this!" Alex told herself aloud firmly. 

She lifted her head and stared at it again. The clinking of glasses pulled her attention from the wall and she looked behind her. Gavin was there on a blanket, a basket sat with him as he poured some wine. He was dressed in blue jeans and a t-shirt of all things. She had never seen him in a t-shirt! 

Both were designer of course, but not Armani suits he normally wore during the day. He also had his shoes off! What the hell? This man looked totally relaxed while her world was spinning crazily. That in itself made her relax. If he wasn't worried, why was she? He knew her better than she knew herself she figured early on in their relationship. 

"How long have you been sitting there?" She asked him with a sly smile. 

"This time?" he smiled coyly. 

"What?" she asked as the color drained from her face. 

"Well, I went by your apartment after you weren't in the condo, Lena hadn't seen you...I figured you were here. I came by but you were in heavy thought, so I sat back there on the bench," he said with a tilt of his head at the park bench a few yards off. 

"After a while I figured you haven't eaten today so I went and got us dinner," he said holding out a wine glass to her. She shook her head. The man was just perfect! She crawled over to him and took the glass from him. He toasted her and took a sip. 

"Any ideas?" he asked carefully. 

"None," she said quickly. 

"It will come," he smiled as he set a plate down in front of her. "I believe in you." 

"Glad one of us does," she frowned in a pout. 

"Eat," he smiled. "Ideas come when you have a full tummy." 

"How was your appointment?" she asked pulling a piece of bread off and nibbling on the end. 

"Madelyn is being quite the bitch," Gavin frowned. 

"Why?" Alex asked quickly. "Is she ok?" 

"She won't take her pills," Gavin told her, his anger ticking in the tone. "Her blood pressure was skyrocketing, she is going to stroke out on me!" 

"Oh no," Alex frowned. She could also hear the worry in his voice, along with the anger. 

"She bought one of your paintings from Maole," Gavin grinned. "I saw it today." 

"She doesn't have to buy my stuff!" Alex barked. "I will paint her whatever she wants, but you tell her she is not to pay for my stuff!" 

"You tell her," Gavin chuckled in disbelief. "That's an ass kicking I won't take." Alex shook her head with a laugh. 

Gavin and Alex shared their little impromptu picnic in the park. Several women hit their men as they walked by them for not thinking of a romantic idea like that. It caused some problems for the men who shook their head with twisted lips. Alex realized just how perfect this was. How many men would do this and not have some ulterior motive? Without being hinted to for weeks, or flat out told to? 

"You know you don't have to butter me up," Alex smiled at him from behind her glass. "I will fuck you anywhere!" 

"What?" Gavin asked with an innocent grin. 

"This whole thing you got going," Alex told him putting her glass to the side. "Have you seen how many men you have gotten hit for this little scene?" 

"I have," Gavin nodded with a laugh. "Not my fault they don't know seduction." 

"Is that what this is? A seduction?" Alex asked as she crawled to him kissing him. 

"The day I stop trying to seduce you they will be putting dirt on me," he whispered back. "I don't care if we are on day three of our relationship or three thousand and three. I will still be trying to prove to you that I am worthy of you." 

"You have got to be kidding me," she gasped. 

"See that is why, I believe anyway, that marriages fail," Gavin shrugged. "Have you ever noticed that when people first start dating, they go all out? I mean all out! Trying to impress them? Something as simple as sitting as on the same side of the table during the date, or asking them out or opening a door? After a while, for some reason, people stop doing that. The little things to catch the other's eye. They assume, now that they are together, they don't have to do those things anymore." 

Alex nodded and left her jaw open in disbelief. 

"Every day I want to get up and seduce you," he smiled stroking her face gently. "Not just to fuck you...but to claim you. See, there are those who believe Dominance deals with only physical power. I disagree, I believe it starts with the mind. If I can seduce your mind, the rest comes willingly." 

"Holy fuck!" Alex gasped with a broad smile of disbelief. "Who says those things?" 

"I do," he whispered. "And every word I speak...," 

"Is measured and meant," she finished for him. Something from the very beginning. 

She began kissing him deeply, his hand cupping her chin as he returned her fervor. They finished their dinner and she felt relaxed for the first time. When they were done she went back to staring at the wall. She laid her head on his lap as he stroked her hair softly. Easing her into relaxation. 

After a while she sat up and he began to pack up the picnic basket. 

"What if I made this mural a public service wall?" Alex asked him never taking her eyes off the wall but lifting her head. 

"What do you mean?" he asked. 

"I mean, I will find out who is going to be here, in terms of vendors," Alex said getting up and going to the wall. He watched her with a smile as the idea rattled out of her. "I could do the entire city! You know? Then show the landmarks, the businesses, the museums!" 

"It would show how to get there, and everything!" The smile she had couldn't be contained. "That way, every person who walks by can plan their stay here, and know how to get there! I can do Comisky Park here," she said putting her hand on one side of the wall. The nearly running down to the other side. "Wrigley here." She walked back slowly and he could almost see the plotting going on in her head. 

"I can show where the theaters are," she smiled as she ran her fingers down the wall. "I can show the little things that nobody knows about! The things you won't learn in a travel brochure!" 

"Wow!" Gavin smiled. "That would fill the wall for sure! And it would tell what this city is about." 

"It would be helpful as well!" Alex smiled turning back to look at the wall. 

"Told you food helps the ideas," Gavin chuckled as he stood up. "C'mon, it's dark!" Alex walked backward as she followed Gavin out of the park. Planning the mural in her head. 

"Thanks Jack," Gavin said as she turned around and saw the police man standing there. 

"Anytime Dr. Steward," he said as he nodded a hello at Alex. 

"Who was that?" Alex asked him. 

"Officer Jack Randall," Gavin said with a shrug. "I asked him to keep an eye on you." 

"What?" 

"The park has been known to have some crime issues," Gavin pointed out protectively. "I don't want you down here by yourself." 

"Gavin, it was during the day!" Alex protested. 

"So?" 

"I was perfectly safe!" She pointed out. 

"I know," Gavin nodded. "Jack is the best cop in Chicago, I wouldn't trust anyone else with you."



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 20



Chapter 22* 

Gavin ducked under the plastic sheeting put up to protect Alex from the elements. It also kept the mural a secret. It was hot and sticky under it and Gavin shook his head as he looked at her. She was dripping sweat down her body. Her shorts and shirt were soaked through with perspiration. 

"Perhaps we should pull up the sheeting," Gavin suggested looking at her. "Get some air flow through here?" 

"It's fine," Alex assured him as she put her brush down. She saw the food in his hands. This had become the norm. If he didn't bring food down here personally, he made sure some was delivered. Either by Lena or a delivery person. Alex was now very acquainted with most of the bike messengers in the area as just a sandwich wouldn't do for Gavin. He had to send her entire meals. 

"Alex," Gavin shook his head as he ducked under the plastic as she pushed him out of the enclosed area. "It's like an oven in there. You are cramping at night because you are dehydrated! Working in a hot box is only going to exacerbate it." 

"I'm trying to drink more water," Alex frowned as the lecture began again. 

He had been on her about taking care of herself, staying hydrated. She spent evenings with Gavin massaging her cramping calves. The worse cramps were the toe cramps! It looked like the toes were trying to cross themselves for luck but it sent her into sheet clutching pain mixed with laughter. He had threatened to take her to the hospital for I.V. solutions but she had begged him off. 

Sitting down she could feel his anger. 

"I'm sorry," Alex said taking his hand. "I'll have the plastic lifted up, but I don't want to have to scramble every time a pop up storm hits!" He nodded but didn't change his frown. 

"Now I know how you feel," Gavin said with a deep exhale as he handed her a water bottle instead of wine. 

"What do you mean?" she asked him reaching for his wine that he pulled away from her and put the bottle up. He tossed the wine from the glass to the grass behind him and pulled out water himself. 

"Wine will not hydrate you!" he grumbled shutting the picnic basket on her as she reached for the wine bottle. 

"But it tastes better!" she argued. "Now explain." 

"I know how you feel...when my work takes precedence," Gavin told her toasting her water bottle. 

"I'm sorry," Alex said as she dropped her head. 

All her waking moments were here, doing the wall. When she got home, he would bathe her, feed her and then put her right to bed. She was almost asleep in her dinner on some nights. She couldn't remember the last time they had sex. He never pushed the issue. Instead only pushing her health and safety, taking care of her at all times, never bothering her with his desires or his needs. 

She watched him. Everything he was doing was taking care of her, but she wasn't taking care of him in return. She felt guilty about it. From the way he bathed her, to the way he made sure she had food interruptions so she would be forced to stop what she was doing to eat. To the fact she was under police surveillance at all times while she was here. She had gotten to know most of Chicago's finest by now. She tried to send them away but they were always there. 

"I'll try to come home early tonight," she told him. He smiled at her. 

"Really?" He chuckled. "The work-a-holic take off early?" 

"I'm sorry, I've been neglecting you," she said embarrassed. "What kind of sub doesn't service her Dom?" 

"I'm not worried about that!" he said sharply. 

"I am," she said firmly back. "Gavin, I like that. I like it when you fuck me." Gavin furrowed his brow for just a second and she saw it. It was so fast she barely did. He seemed displeased for an instant at her description of what he wanted. To fuck her, like that is all he wanted from her. It didn't make him happy to have that be her first thought. 

"Look," he said forcing a smile. "We will have plenty of time for that once you are done with this." 

"I'm beginning to think this thing is as important to you as it is me," she said with a twisted smiled and a shake of her head. 

"You are important to me, therefore anything you deem important is my utmost concern," he told her firmly. He left no doubt of his sincerity. 

"You are much too good for me," she told him as she felt the air leave her because of his words. 

"I haven't even scratched the surface of earning you," he winked. 

She went back to work after they were done with lunch, before she left he kissed her and she pulled him on top of her and held him there. 

"I'm coming home early," she whispered to him. "I have neglected you long enough! I have neglected us, long enough." 

"That would please me a great deal," he said to her. "If nothing else I can get you to bed early." 

"I'm going to bed alright," she smiled. "But I'm not sleeping." 

Walking into the condo she found it dark. Her first thought was he was on a call and hadn't made it home. Her heart sank in her chest, disappointed. She turned the corner and found a candle lit dinner table. She stopped stunned. Gavin came out of the kitchen and stopped in his tracks. He tilted his arm and looked to his watch. 

"Wow," he smiled. "You are early!" 

"Oh my God!" She gasped. He set the rolls down and went to her. 

"I wasn't expecting you for another hour or so," he told her tilting her lips and kissing them. "I just put the meat in the oven." 

"This is...this is...wow!" she was suddenly without words. 

She looked at the attention to the romance. Candles, wine chilling, flowers with soft music playing in the background. Straight out of the 'how to sweep a woman off her feet' manual. She was beginning to think he had written the damn thing! 

"Well, I'll tell you what," he smiled. "While we have the time to kill...," he winked at her. 

"Absolutely!" she agreed as she bit her lip in anticipation of what his fabulous hands were going to do to her. 

He took her into the bathroom and started the shower. 

"Let's get some of that paint off of you," he said. 

She pushed him into the shower, clothes and all. Pushing him against the wall passionately, with kisses that devoured his lips. He turned her and forced her against the wall as his lips returned the favor. 

He lifted her hands and held them above her head against the wall. 

"Don't drop your hands," he said into her ear. 

"Yes Sir," she gasped as he took her ear lobe in his mouth. 

He cupped the sides of her face as he stared into her eyes. She was being set on fire by him. The way he was looking at her. The way he was touching her. Had it been that long? When was the party? Weeks ago she remembered. That was the last time they had gotten each other off. He, with her, in the bathroom and she returned the oral favor in the car on the way home. Since then it had been all about the wall. 

The water cooled her, the shirt she now wore was see through thanks to the water. She watched his eyes follow his drifting hands down her body. Starting with her cheeks, to her ears then downward. Down to her throat. She watched the fire rage in him. She knew what he was feeling as she was feeling it as well. 

He ran his fingers down the buttons of her shirt. It was an old long sleeve work shirt, something to throw over her to keep the paint from coating her. She watched his grin tick at his lips. 

Suddenly the buttons on her shirt went flying! She was stunned as she felt his power rip the shirt open. She also loved it! He used one hand to press softly on her throat, holding her against the wall. Not choking her, just letting her know she was not to move. 

His free hand used the tips of his fingers to drift lower on her. Exploring her. Touching her newly available skin. Her heart beat into her throat. God she loved the wolf when he let it come out. First it was in the hotel that first night. Then here in the condo on the table. She could see it in his eyes right now. The wolf was controlling him. She was giddy about it. She bit her lip, not in excitement this time, but in a reminder to keep her mouth shut and let the wolf run. 

He used his fingers to nimbly bring out her breast from her bra. He wasted no time in capturing it between his lips, his teeth gently nipping. She gasped in excitement. While he was working on one breast he pulled the other out. As soon as it was free he was on it like the ravenous wolf he was. Devouring her. 

Then he was kissing her, deeply, his tongue in her mouth, hers dueling with it. Her breathing erratic as he pinched her nipples causing her to gasp under his mouth, which in turn caused his secret smile to come out. Yes, she told herself, it had been much too long to not see that smile! 

Her body was on fire, and it was a good thing the water was on and running cold. It seemed her fire was a bright and hot as the Chicago fire. It burned an entire city, now it consumed her! 

Her eyes snapped open as he marked her breast with his teeth. 

"Wait," she whispered as her mind scrambled to make sense of the images flooding her mind. She touched him softly. "Gavin." He stopped sucking on her and looked her in the eye. 

"What's wrong?" He asked her, afraid he got carried away with his passion. "Are you ok?" 

"Yes," she smiled. It was half happiness and half regret. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but...," 

"But what?" he asked her, pulling back. 

"I've just been hit with an amazing idea," she smiled at him. He began to kiss her neck. 

"I love it already," he laughed. "I can see it in your eyes that it makes you happy." 

"You are going to hate it when I tell you," she warned him. 

"What?" he pulled back. 

"I need my sketchbook!" she pushed her way by him and he watched her leave the shower dripping water all over the floor as she ran from the shower stall shedding her newly torn shirt from her body as she went. 

"Ok," he laughed in disbelief, his hands on the wall holding himself up. 

He pulled his clothes off and turned the shower all the way to cold. An attempt to quell his passion. When he was sufficiently cooled off, he dried himself, laughing the entire time. Not since high school had he been left in a lurch like that. He most certainly hadn't had that problem since he became a Dom. 

He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out into the bedroom. Alex was on the floor with her sketchbook drawing furiously. He leaned against the door, his hand across his mouth. He couldn't decide if he should be pissed or laugh at the whole situation. To be passionately on fire in one moment only to have her bolt from the shower and begin drawing with the same sort of passion. 

"Ok," he smiled as his anger melted away. "Do you want to explain what the hell is going on?" 

"I'm sorry," she said again but never stopping her hand from furiously drawing. "I just had an amazing idea for a sketch!" 

"OK," Gavin laughed looking to the floor. "So you leave me in mid lechery to draw a picture?" She rolled over and looked at him. She smiled sheepishly. 

"I will make it up to you! I promise!" she begged. 

"There is nothing to make up," he smiled. "It's just been a while since I have had to take a cold shower!" He kissed her head as he made his way by her. 

He blew out the candles laughing. So much for seduction tonight! He stopped as he picked up the candles. He should be pissed! He should go into the room and dominate her! Instead he laughed inwardly as he started putting everything up. Pulling the meat from the oven, he prepared her a plate and chuckled and shook his head the entire time he was carrying it to her. 

She was still on the floor. Now she had several rough drafts of pictures spread out around her while she worked on another. He set the food down with a shake of his head. 

"When you get the chance," he urged. She nodded but never took her eyes off the sketch pad. He put sleep shorts on and pulled his book out that he had been trying to read. He sat in bed with a shake of his head. Tenacity. Alex had it in spades. He liked that. 

Alex woke to an empty bed. She came to bed late, he was already asleep. She felt so guilty about stopping his passion in the middle of it. But what flooded her mind needed to be sketched. She wouldn't be able to do anything else until she did. But now she felt immense guilt that she failed in her duty to serve him. 

She looked to her phone and found a message from him. He was on a call. She knew that. He was gone. She showered quickly and went to the wall. 

He watched her at first, she wasn't painting. She was just staring at it. Contemplating. 

"Well," he said softly to not scare her. "That's a look of determination." 

"Is it?" she asked not turning. "I'm about to do something I know I shouldn't do, but it is something I have to do!" 

"Uh-oh," he smiled. 

"I'm going to start over," she told him softly. 

"What?" he gasped. "You can't!" 

"I think I have to!" She said turning to him with pleading eyes. "I won't be happy now." 

"Is that what pulled you out of the shower last night?" he looked at her in disbelief. The wall was three quarters complete. "You want to abandon this?" 

She nodded as she chewed on her nail again. He walked over to her and pulled the digit from her mouth and held her hands to keep her from going back to it. She looked up at him and her eyes pleaded for understanding. 

"The mayor has approved this design," he pointed out softly. "He was excited about it." 

"I know," she said as softly. "But Gabby wasn't." 

"The mayor outranks Gabby," Gavin pointed out with a shake of his head. 

"Gavin," Alex began slowly putting her head on his chest. "I was never fully happy about this design, you know that." 

"I know," Gavin shook his head. "If you start over...the time involved...could you finish it in time?" 

"I don't know," she admitted. "It would be close." 

Gavin let out a deep exhale. 

"Can you use any of what you have done?" he asked her tilting her head up to look at her. She shook her head. "So we have to take it back to base paint?" She nodded. 

Gavin exhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He knew this meant she would be here even longer hours now. He was already concerned about her loss of weight. Her lack of sleep. Her cramping. He looked back at her. Shook his head and pulled his tie loose. 

"Where do we start?" he said pulling his tie all the way off and hanging it on the edge of the scaffolding. He pulled his suit jacket off then started unbuttoning his shirt as he shook his head while looking at the wall. He couldn't believe he was going to help her do this. 

"You can't help me!" Alex gasped. "You would get paint all over you! Your suit costs more than I'm going to make on this project!" 

"Alex," he said patiently, turning as he pulled his shirt off. "Time is of the essence. By yourself it would take you all day to cover with primer what you have already done. With both of us, we could start, then as soon as the primer is dry on the front section you can get back to work and I would finish covering what's left." 

"But your clothes," she protested. 

"Are inconsequential," he assured her as he picked up a roller. He went to the wall as she picked up another. He dumped primer paint from one of the five gallon buckets into a pan. He looked to her as they stood at the edge of her painting. 

"You go first," he told her shaking his head. 

"No, you go," she said with a cringe. All the hard work now sat before her as she doubted her new plan. 

"I can't," he smiled sensing the same emotion. She dipped the roller in and held it close to the wall. He could see the turmoil on her face. He put his hand on hers and then gently pushed the roller forward. 

They put a single solidary stripe together. She groaned the entire time like she was seeing the worst thing possible. 

"There," he said softly to her. "Now we are committed. When Cortez sensed hesitation from his men after getting to the new world, he burned his ships. They became very motivated." 

They painted furiously Alex looked over from time to time to see his silk suit pants splattered with paint. 

"Please tell me those are inexpensive pants," she begged. 

"About nine," he said not stopping. 

"Nine dollars?" she smiled happily. 

"Nine hundred," he told her causing her heart to sputter. 

"Shit," she shook her head. "I have ruined nine hundred dollar pants because of my flighty ideas!" 

"Go check the front of the wall," he said not responding. "It should be dry enough to get started." 

"Gavin, I'm...," she tried to start. 

"It's a pair of pants," he laughed. "Trust me, I have a closet full!" He looked to her and winked. "Pavy told me once I was worse than a high school prom queen with all the clothes!" 

She sulked away from him to start working on the new design. She would hear his phone go off every once in a while but he would only check it then continue painting. 

"Do you need to go?" she asked him, after he texted a response. 

"No," he said firmly, his tone said not to question him. Which meant now he was putting his life on hold for her project. 

"You are trashing the whole thing?" Lena's voice stopped her from painting hours later. She looked back at her. Lena had take-out food in her hands. Her mouth was agape in disbelief. 

"Yes," Alex admitted. "I had to." 

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Lena gasped shaking her head. "You have spent an entire month to get this three quarters done, now with five weeks to go, you are starting over?" 

"I had to," Alex said again, trying to make is sound like it was imperative that she did start over, but even her voice betrayed her as she couldn't make it sound like anything but a spoiled brat not getting her way. 

"Where is Gavin," Lena asked shoving the food on the scaffolding. 

"Around the corner," Alex said softly. "Painting up the old stuff with primer." 

"Holy shit!" Lena gasped turning to look at her. "He allowed this?" 

"What do you mean 'allow'?" Alex growled. 

"Baby," Lena shook her head knowing how that sounded. "You are reckless at times! You dive in head first into things without even checking the depth of the water!" Lena started walking in Gavin's direction. "I would have thought he would have talked you out of this! He has been so worried about you getting sick down here! Or suffering from heat exhaustion! You were almost done! Now you are going to start that bullshit over again!" 

"He's been worried about me?" Alex stopped her. 

"How blind have you been?" Lena gasped. "Jesus Christ! The man has been making sure someone has been with you to make sure you don't overdo it at all times. If it wasn't me, it was the cops, if it wasn't the cops it was the delivery guys. Well, unless of course, if it wasn't him down here that is! I don't know how many times I came down her and he was sitting on the bench with a damn book keeping an eye on you!" 

Lena stormed around the corner and Alex could hear Gavin and Lena talking. Lena's rage faltered as Gavin explained. Then she heard their laughter, when she peeked around the corner Lena had a roller in her hand and was helping cover the mural. 

The last five weeks Alex was a basket case. As much as Gavin tried to get her to let him or Lena help, she refused it. The one time she did allow it, she nit-picked the entire time and drove him crazy. 

Gavin arrived with lunch but she met him with a smile at the edge of the tarps. 

"Hey," he laughed as she pushed on his chest not allowing him to enter. 

"Hey handsome," she said with a broad smile. 

"I can't see it?" he asked her. 

"No," she smiled. "I'm almost done!" 

"You know, being your Dom, you don't get that choice," he told her with a tick of his eyebrow in bemusement. 

"Please don't?" she asked changing her tone. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 20



"You know I've been pretty lenient on you, saving your consequences until you are done and what not," he said frowning. 

"Consequences?" Alex furrowed her brow. 

"Yes I'm keeping a running total for disobedience, snotty attitude, smart ass answers," Gavin pointed out. "I've given you a long leash, sort to speak, but this is getting tiresome." 

"How many have I earned?" she asked thinking of all the things she had done. The disobeying his rules of eating, water and rest alone should make the number enormous. 

"Really?" he smiled. She looked up at him and he winked at her. 

"You're fucking with me," she shook her head. 

"I'd rather be fucking you, but in lieu thereof, fucking with you is fun too!" he laughed stroking her face as he said it. 

"God I love your laugh," she told him with a shake of her head as she put her arms around him. "I wish you would do it more often!" 

"Well," he kissed her nose. "I've been doing it more since you came along!" 

"Please wait for the unveiling?" she asked sweetly. 

"Beg me some more," he smiled his secret smile. 

"Pretty please?" She bowed her head. "With me in whip cream on top?" 

"Talked me into it," he said. "Can I take you to lunch today?" 

"Yes," she nodded. 

"You're shitting me!" he gasped. "I can pull you from the wall during daylight hours?" 

"I'm waiting for the last bit to dry so I can put the finishing touches on," she smiled. 

"So you are using me to kill time," he shook his head. 

"Hey!" Lena's voice called out from beyond the tarp that evening. Alex was just walking along the wall now, touching up here and there. "Great and powerful Oz, can you come out here for a moment?" 

"Yes," Alex laughed as she made her way down. 

The wall was done, and she happy with it. It turned out better than her sketches even. It was a good thing as well, tomorrow was the unveiling and both the Mayor and Gabby were furious when she wouldn't allow them to see it either. She wasn't going to let anyone see it! 

Stepping out into the setting sun she gasped. 

"Mom...Dad!" she stuttered out in shock. "What are you doing here?" 

"We came for the unveiling!" her father said pulling her into a warm hug. In her stunned state it took a minute for her to return it. 

"Oh my God!" she gasped as she pulled back from him. Her mother came in and hugged her loosely. Alex rolled her eyes. Her mother was never very affectionate. 

"You smell," her mother complained as she attempted to pull some of the paint from her hair. 

"I've been working under a tarp for three months," Alex defended with a roll of her eyes. The first dig of the Mother spurs. 

"You are nothing but skin and bones," her father complained as he took her back into a hug regardless of her smell. 

"I know," she frowned as she nestled into his chest and smelled his Old Spice. It brought back memories from her childhood. "I've been so busy!" 

"You still look beautiful!" he smiled proudly. 

"That's because I'm your daughter," she shook her head. "You are required by law to say that!" She looked to Lena who was smiling. 

"What did you tell them?" she asked her roomie. 

She just came to the realization that she had not told them about the wall. She had not told them about the art showing, she had not told them about Gavin! Holy shit, where does she begin? 

"I told them about the wall," Lena said with a wink knowing exactly what she meant. "You have been down here every time they called! So I had to tell them something or they would have thought I let you join the Foreign Legion or something." 

"Oh," Alex smiled. She was relieved that Lena didn't let out about the rest. It was something she wanted to tell them. But when she was ready. 

"What else does she need to tell us?" Alex's mother asked noting the panic in her daughter's eyes. 

"I have a lot to tell you," Alex smiled but she didn't know where to start! 

"Like?" Her mother scowled. 

"Well," Alex shook her head. 

Start with the easy stuff first she decided. All of this with her father would be no problem. Alex's overly judgmental, religious mother would be another story all together. 

She never approved of Alex's free living lifestyle. Her stubbornness. Of living in the city. Of any of her relationships. 

If it was up to her mother, Alex would have settled down with a man right out of high school. A man Alex's mother would have chosen from their church as anything else was unworthy. She would have popped out a few kids by now, as that was what good Christian women did. Alex would have been completely miserable. 

She would have never left Pennsylvania and would have been in a pew right next to her for Tuesday night Bible study, Wednesday night church services, Saturday children's church and then traditional Sunday services to top it all off. 

Alex shook her head as she read the immediate disproval in her mother's eyes. She had seen it enough in her life to see it without looking really. The tone in her voice dripped with it. 

"I have had my first art showing and I sold a few paintings," she told them as she could see the disappointment building in her mother. 

"My goodness!" her father gasped. "That's fantastic!" 

Just then her phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket. It was Gavin. Holy shit. How does she handle this? She rubbed her forehead in anguish as she walked away putting the phone to her ear. 

"Good evening, Sir," she semi whispered as she moved away from Lena and her parents. 

"Why are you whispering?" he asked her in a similar whispered tone which got her giggling. 

"I've got a monumental problem here," she said softly. 

"You are not painting over it again!" he said loudly, then laughing knowing that wasn't the problem. He hoped. She was out of time anyway. 

"No," she laughed with him. "My parents are here." 

"Ok," he said slowly. "Do you not like your parents?" 

"No, I love them, but I haven't told them about you," she frowned. 

"Embarrassed of me, I see," he laughed. 

"Absolutely not!" she growled. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me!" 

"Well, you are young, there is still time," he laughed as she rolled her eyes at his statement. 

"It's just I don't know if you want to meet them or not," she said after she was a good distance away. 

"Are you ready for me to meet them?" he asked her. 

"I'd love to show you off!" she told him her smile growing. 

"Ok," he said softly. "I was going to take you out to dinner tonight, to celebrate your first night in three months of not having to deal with the wall, but let's have dinner at home. We can cook for them." 

"Really?" she asked as she began tapping her toes. 

"Yeah, unless you think they would rather go out," Gavin suggested. 

"No," she smiled as she danced fully where she was turning in a circle, her free hand waving over her head. "Let's make dinner at home." 

She was beside herself that he was addressing the condo as 'home', and that she was a part of it. He wasn't calling it 'my home' or 'my condo'. It was just 'home'. She walked back to the three of them. 

"Good phone call?" her father asked with a smile noting the dance. 

"Yes," she smiled. "That was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time." 

"And that is?" her mother led on not smiling like her husband was. The smile on her daughter's face meant it was a boy. She had seen it before. 

"That was Gavin," Alex smiled. "We have been dating for about four months now." 

"Four months?" her father gasped. "And you didn't tell us?" 

"Well," Alex shrugged embarrassedly. "I didn't want to jinx it." 

"Does this one have a job?" her mother asked immediately with a deep frown. 

"Yes," Alex growled. With the one question, Alex lost a bit of her happiness that Gavin wanted to meet her parents. She instantly began to rethink the idea of introducing them now. 

"Really?" her mother asked disbelieving. 

"Yes mother! Why do you have to be like that?" Alex barked as she crossed her arms angrily across her chest. 

"Because the last three we have met have been unemployed artists," her mother pointed out disdainfully. 

"I'm an unemployed artist," Alex groused. "Sorry to be such an embarrassment! I didn't realize you despised us so much!" 

"That's not what I said," her mother defended angrily. "Don't go putting words into my mouth!" 

"You don't have to say it," Alex growled, her fists balling up. "It's the tone you use." 

"I have a tone?" her mother smiled. This was the same fight they had numerous times. More times that Alex could count and she was tired of it. She was an adult now. Not beholden to their rules or their desires. 

"Marylyn," Alex's father cut in. "We haven't seen Alex in over a year, let's not start the first day! Can we not just be happy for her? I mean, she has this incredible accomplishment of this mural. And she has a man that makes her happy. She is now making money with her artwork. In some cases, that makes her very successful!" 

"Alfred," Marylyn started back, tired of this constant defense of their youngest daughter. Alex looked to Lena who mouthed the word 'sorry' to her. Alex shook her head, it wasn't her fault. 

"Enough," he said firmly cutting her off. He turned to Alex with apologetic eyes and a soft smile. 

"Alex, can we meet him?" her father asked. 

"Please?" he pleaded when she hesitated. She was thinking about not going through with it. She wanted to say 'as long as mother doesn't come', but knew that wasn't going to happen. 

"Yes," she smiled when her father put his hands on her shoulders. "He has invited us to his place for dinner." 

"He doesn't live with a large group of guys, does he?" Marylyn asked remembering the last boyfriend she had. He was some sort of poet, from what she could remember, and he lived with six or seven other artists sharing a small two bedroom apartment. 

"Jesus Christ," Alex fumed. 

"Do not use the Lord's name in vain!" Marylyn chastised angrily. 

"Do not embarrass me!" Alex warned back. "Or it will be the last guy you meet until I have popped out a couple of kids!" The threat caused her mother to gasp. 

"Both of you take a deep breath," Alfred said firmly. "You two can't keep going on like this!" 

"Sorry Dad," Alex exhaled. Her mother said nothing as she scowled angrily as she crossed her arms. 

They walked into the condo building and the man behind the counter stood up. 

"Good evening Miss Lasko," the man said formally. 

"Good evening Mike," Alex smiled at him. "Is he home yet?" 

"Yes ma'am," he nodded. "Is the wall ready?" he asked. 

"Finished it today," Alex smiled as they waited for the elevator. "Are you going to come by and see it?" 

"I wouldn't miss it Miss Lasko," the door man smiled. 

Alex's hand shook as she pulled her key to the door. Her mother looked down at her with an up-ticked brow. 

"You have a key to his place?" her mother asked, her words dripping with disproval. 

"It's how I get in," Alex said sarcastically not looking at her. 

"Do you live here?" her mother asked. Alex dropped her head. 

Right then and there she wanted to blurt it all out. The parties she had been to. The things she had seen. The things Gavin had done to her! Just to shock the shit out of her prudish, royal highness! To tell her that she had been with another woman, that she could deep throat a cock! It all welled in her and begged for release just to give her mother a heart attack! 

"Yes, from time to time. I still have the apartment with Lena and I share rent with her, but I stay here a lot," Alex said trying to control her anger. 

"Well, that won't make my Bible study group happy," Marylyn fumed. 

"Well, don't tell them!" Alex barked turning to her mother. "I know I'm a huge disappointment to you, not nearly as good as my sisters as they have done your bidding, but your holy roller friends should be used to your one wayward daughter! The one blemish to your Sainthood!" 

"Absolutely enough!" Alfred barked. "Marylyn, under no circumstances are you to embarrass Alex tonight!" he threatened. "We are guests in this man's house, therefore keep your holier than thou in check!" 

He looked to Alex and mustered a smile. 

"I'm sorry honey," he said to her. "I'm looking forward to meeting him...any man that can make you smile and happy is already a good man in my book!" he told her with a wink. 

"Thanks Dad," she smiled. Why couldn't he have come alone? This would be so much easier without her mother! She opened the door and walked in. Taking their light jackets from them she hung them up on the coat rack. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. This could be disastrous. 

"Gavin?" she called out. 

"Hey!" he smiled as he came out of the kitchen. He was dressed in his traditional suit minus the jacket. His face drained and it filled with concern as soon as he saw her. 

"You look exhausted!" he said immediately, taking her in a hug and squeezing her warmly. She pulled his head down and kissed his lips. Something he was unsure she wanted in front of her parents so he didn't try. When she did it he picked up that she wasn't kissing him happily, this was something else. 

"I'm better now," she smiled. "Gavin," she said as she turned putting her hand in his and clutched nervously. "This is my mom and Dad, Alfred and Marylyn Lasko." 

"Mr. Lasko," Gavin smiled taking the man's hand and giving it a firm shake. "Mrs. Lasko." Gavin smiled at her while he shook her hand softly. 

"Welcome," he smiled moving back with Alex. 

"Thank you for the invitation," Alfred smiled. "And please call me Al." 

"Thanks Al," Gavin smiled. "And it's Gavin." He ushered them into the dining room and pulled out a seat for Alex's mother. "Dinner is almost done, here have a seat." 

She took the offered chair with a wary eye at Alex. Alex tried to control her smile as her mother seemed surprised. 

"Dinner is just about done," Gavin told them again. "If you would excuse me." He disappeared into the kitchen and Alex followed him in. 

"Wow!" he gasped. "Your mother looks...well...," he shook his head. 

"Bitchy?" Alex said for him causing him to chuckle. "Try living with her!" 

"Pass!" he grinned. 

Alex pressed him against the counter with her body, her eyes giving away what she wanted. 

"Really?" he grinned. "Your parents are just in the other room." He said as she kissed his neck. Her hands running across his body under his silk shirt. 

"I don't care," she told him. "I need fucked." 

He folded her arms behind her back and held them. He kissed her hard, their teeth clicking. Their tongues fighting. When he pulled back her face was flushed with passion. 

"You will have to wait!" he said slowly with a wicked smile. "Like I have." She closed her eyes. 

After dinner was passed around Marylyn seemed put off that grace was not said as they began to eat. Alex could see the frown. She was sure Gavin saw it but couldn't tell if he knew why. 

"So," Marylyn began slowly after she said her own prayer before eating. "Alex says you work, but she didn't say what you did." 

"Oh," Gavin shrugged. "I'm a doctor." He said nonchalantly, looking at her with a smile. 

"A doctor?" she asked slowly, her face said she was stunned. 

"Yes ma'am," he nodded. 

Alex wanted to jump up and do a happy dance right there. That's right mom! I have a doctor! She wanted to scream while she danced. Not only does he have a job, he is what mother's dream of for their daughters! A fucking doctor! 

She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs all of Gavin's fabulous attributes. His affection. His attentiveness. His soft way. His generosity. The fact he gives multiple orgasms because one is such a lonely number! She would keep that last one to herself. Maybe. It depends on if her mother pisses her off. 

"I've heard most doctors don't believe in God," Marylyn began. It caused Alex to gasp. She looked to her father for help who seemed as aghast as she was. 

"Well," Gavin said putting his fork down to give her his undivided attention. "I know several doctors that believe." 

"And you?" Marylyn asked pointedly. "Do you believe in God?" 

"My faith is reaffirmed every time your daughter smiles at me," Gavin told her. "But I'm not a church goer. I believe God doesn't care too much about churches. I believe as long as you worship him, the rest is for your benefit. Not His." 

"No church?" Marylyn gasped, finding a chink that she could exploit. 

"Mother," Alex warned with her voice. 

"I'm trying to get to know this man you live with," Marylyn told her in a half snarl. "Perhaps if you would have told us about him to begin with, we wouldn't be finding out this way!" 

"Gavin," Alex began with a shake of her head. "I'm so sorry." 

"Nothing to apologize for," Gavin assured her taking her hand and kissing it. "Marylyn is right, she is getting to know me. I would be protective of you as well." 

"I haven't been in a church in years," Gavin admitted. "But I do pray to thank Him for the blessings in my life." 

"Is that often?" 

"Every day since Alex has come into my life," Gavin winked at her. Alex melted. Ok, he was not real. This was a dream. Not only was he not put off or intimidated by her mother, he was holding his own with compliments that he showered her with. 

"Hmm," Marylyn smiled as she looked down at her plate. Alex hoped the inquisition was over. 

"So what hospital do you work for?" Alfred asked. 

"I'm a private physician," Gavin explained. "I have affiliations with most of the major hospitals in the area." 

"Private physician?" Marylyn seized. "Sounds dubious!" 

"Yes," Gavin nodded with a chuckle at her assessment. "I provide medical assistance to CEO's, professional athletes, politicians." 

"But you don't have an office?" she asked him coolly. 

"No," he shook his head. "I go to them. They like their privacy, I like to make sure that happens." 

"Sounds like you keep secrets," she pointed out. 

"That's true," Gavin agreed. "I'm not allowed to discuss medical records with anyone. But, then again, that would be same if I was at a hospital as well." Gavin teased. Alfred laughed as he got the joke. Gavin smiled at Alex when Marylyn didn't respond to the subtle jab. 

"Do you know why Alex has failed to introduce us earlier, or even why she hasn't mention you to us?" Marylyn asked him. 

"I'm guessing because we are still getting to know one another," Gavin told her with a shrug. "We were only a month into our relationship when Gabby gave her the Expo opportunity. The poor girl has been working herself to a frazzle every day. Driving me sick with worry!" 

"I guess living together speeds up the process!" Marylyn rolled her eyes. 

"Well," Gavin shook his head. "That's actually been a fairly recent thing. The condo is closer to the park, closer to her work. It was more of convenience than anything else." 

"I see," she frowned. "Do your parents approve of living together before you are married?" 

"Well," Gavin said softly. "My parents would have adored Alex, the way she cares for me would have made them approve of her immediately. But, unfortunately, my parents have passed." 

"Oh my God," Alex closed her eyes. The nightmare was getting worse. Can the floor please open up and swallow her like Jonah and the whale? Gavin patted her hand. Marylyn looked embarrassed. Even she could see the pain in his eyes. 

"My mother died four years ago," Gavin explained. "Breast cancer, something she fought for over a decade. My father four months later, from a broken heart. At least I believe it was a broken heart anyway, as he was healthy as an ox, but the idea of living without mom was more than he could stand." 

"Alex reminds me of her," Gavin smiled. "She was a fighter...just like Alex. When the doctors told my mom she had only months to live, she fought for another four years. Seeing the world with my dad by her side as that was their retirement plan." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 20



"My mother would have adored Alex," Gavin said again. "She was always on me about finding a strong woman. One who could keep me interested. A girl who could keep me in line. She didn't approve of too many of my choices. Alex, on the other hand, was what she wanted all along, she is exactly what my mother described as the perfect daughter!" 

"I'm sorry," Marylyn said softly. "I didn't mean to bring up something to upset you." 

"No," Gavin assured her. "It's fine." 

Alfred and Gavin seemed to get along greatly, which made Alex very happy. They shared jokes with one another. Talked about Alex's stubbornness like she wasn't there which made her scowl at both of them. 

"Where are you guys staying?" Gavin asked Alfred. 

"Oh, we are getting a hotel room," he said as Gavin showed him some of Alex's work he had around his condo. 

"Nonsense!" Gavin told him. "I have a guest room here, that way we can all ride over together for the unveiling!" 

"No, we wouldn't want to be an intrusion," Alfred said with a shake of his head. 

"Really," Gavin insisted. "It would make us both happy to have you here." 

Alex just watched on in a stunned silence. When her father looked at her she smiled and nodded that she wanted it as well. 

Alex was naked and in the submissive position when he entered the bedroom. He stopped and leaned against the door. 

"Wow," he smiled. "It takes my breath away when I see you like that." 

"I have neglected my duties long enough," she said softly. "It's time I catch up." 

"Is that what I am? A duty?" he smiled as she shook her head but never looked up. 

"You can twist anything, can't you?" she asked from her kneeling position. 

"I can twist you," he said coming to her and sitting on the bed. "So, do you think your parents would mind a little kinky sex going on in the next room?" 

"You are the one who invited them," she reminded. "I was ready to all kinds of wicked things to you!" 

"Hmm," he smiled as he stroked her shoulders. His fingers enjoying the long lost feel of her. She went prone, her hands outstretched as she put her face to the floor as his fingers walked slowly down her spine. 

"I love the way your body responds to me," he whispered. His fingers going down the valley of her ass to her sex causing her to sigh. She was wet already. She got wet just waiting for him to come into the bedroom. Thinking of all the things she had now. With him. Because of him. 

His fingers gently pushed the lips of her sex apart and entered slowly causing her body to tense and her mouth to gasp with a deep exhale. The things he did to her with his hands! 

"You look exhausted," he said as he pulled his fingers back. She turned her head to the side to look at him. He inserted his wet fingers into his mouth with a smile. That smile. The one she loved to make him do. 

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I need you." 

"Undress me," he said softly. She rose to her knees and then made her way to him. Staring into his eyes she found the same lust in his eyes that she felt, as she undid his tie and slowly pulled it from him. 

"Will you need this?" she smiled. 

"Not tonight," he said as he ran the tips of his fingers around her breasts. 

She set it to the side then let her fingers undo the buttons on his shirt. Slowly, one by one. She pushed it off his shoulders as he brought her nipples hard under his soft manipulating fingers. She then pulled his undershirt off and looked over his body. 

"You have lost weight," she pointed out herself. Her eyebrows furrowing. 

"A little," he said as he pulled her chin in to kiss her lips. 

"Because of me?" she asked guiltily. 

"Shush," he whispered against her lips. His mouth moved to her ear and she melted into a deep sigh. The way he said it confirmed her question. 

Her hands fumbled with his belt, he stood to help her out. She smiled as she pulled his pants down and his hard cock sprung into view. 

"God I've missed him!" she whispered as she began to kiss the underside of his shaft. "I've almost forgotten your taste!" 

She used her teeth to gently nip around the crown of his head. Licking the sensitive spot on the underside, just beneath the crown. Looking up at him she stuck her tongue out and licked the entire underside of his cock. From the balls up to his head. Her eyes never leaving him. 

Swirling around his head and then with one quick motion took him all the way down her throat. The sensation of being there made him gasp. She looked up at him from that positon and saw his head dropped back, relishing the feel of her mouth. Slowly she let herself off. 

"God you taste delicious!" she marveled. 

"To bed," he said picking his head up. "I want to taste you as well." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled taking his offered hand up. He got in and she waited. 

"How do you want me, Sir?" she asked sweetly. 

"On my face," he smiled. "I need to satisfy my hunger." 

"69?" she asked, her smile hopeful. 

"In a little bit," he smiled. "Right now, I want your delicious pussy on my lips." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled as she carefully mounted his face. She put her hands on his chest as his tongue slithered into her. Her body shook with desire for him. His gentle strokes of his tongue driving her mad with lust. With each stroked he hit her clit, causing her to jump. 

"Please sir," she begged softly. "Can I suck him?" 

"Yes," he said never stopping his gentle tonguing. As she slowly made her way down she felt his tongue enter her ass causing her to gasp and smile at the invasion. She stopped and held her position on him at an angle as his tongue fucked her ass. With each deep invasion she would rock backward on his face to push him deeper within her tight ring. 

She growled when she finally got her mouth on his cock. The feel of his hot shaft in her mouth had forced the growl of satisfaction. She deep throated him again as he pushed his tongue as deep as he could. His hands pulling apart her sex to allow him unfettered access to her depths. 

She devoured his cock, softly and deeply at first, but more aggressively as her body approached nirvana. When she came she forced his cock down her throat to keep from telling her parents in the next room, that their little girl was cumming on her Dom's face, coating it with her stickiness. 

Gavin slowly wet his finger then gently pushed it in her ass. She held still as he did this. It burned and caused her to hiss subtly. He never stopped his laps of her sex, but never took his eyes off his finger invading her taboo hole. He relished it. 

Once he had his finger in, she began to suckle his balls, she felt how heavy they were. Full. She tickled them with the tip of her soft tongue before sucking them in gently. As her second orgasm approached she lifted herself up and rocked on his face driving his tongue deeper as her body shook with her orgasm. She bit her lip to keep from crying out, her fingers digging into his skin, leaving her own marks on him. 

Once her orgasm subsided she pulled herself off his face and inched her way down. Taking hold of his shaft she guided him into her. He slid in and they both gasped. She held still for a few moments as her body had mini quakes of orgasmic residue. He sat up and put his arms around her and nuzzled her back. His hands fondling her breasts at first before he folded her arms behind her and held them, bringing a smile to her face. 

"To let you use these fantastic hands or not?" he teased as his hot breath washed over her back. He then took each finger into his mouth and sucked them slowly. Letting her feel the soft wetness of his mouth. 

"Please?" she whispered. He released them and she smiled. She gently cupped his balls with them making him smile. She began a slow grind on his cock. Her body shaking as she brought herself to another orgasm on his shaft, the sound of her wetness made them both smile. 

"Taste yourself, see what I have found to be the most exquisite taste I have ever encountered," he commanded. 

She instantly withdrew from his cock and turned around to kneel in between his legs. She took hold of his cock and stared at him with a wicked smile as she slowly took him in her mouth. Her lips enclosing his shaft, causing it to disappear from view as she lowered herself. 

She brought herself off just as slowly as she realized it was maddening to him. With an open mouth she covered his lips with hers and they kissed passionately. He picked her up and slid back into her causing her head to fall to the side of his, as he held her hips firmly and lifted and brought her back down forcefully. His cock driving into her depths. She buried her face into the side of his neck as another orgasm washed out of her. Her teeth gently biting into his shoulder as her body shook. He never stopped his assault on her sex with his cock. Driving upward to push her through her excitement. 

He cupped her ass with his powerful hands as she pushed off of him to stare into his eyes as she began to ride him with a gusto. Her body grinding his hardness while she bit her lip to control the sounds of her passion. His cock driving deeper and deeper in her as she began to lean backward impaling herself more and more. He ran his hand over her flat stomach as she did so, enjoying her every square inch of her body. Her mouth hung open as another orgasm possessed her. Her muscles hard and flexed as it coursed through her body. 

When she came down her eyes locked on his and he recognized it easily. 

"Trying to Switch on me?" he laughed. 

"No Sir," she smiled easing back, her face hanging just inches off his, her hair surrounding their faces. "I want your cum!" 

He grinned as she began to fuck him harder. He slipped his finger back into her ass and this caused both of them to gasp in pleasure. He could feel his cock as she rode him now. She was stretched to, what she thought, was the limit! 

"Do you want my cum, Little One?" he asked her as he sat up holding her ass in his hands as she rode him. His lips kissing her deeply. She wrapped her legs around his back holding him tightly. 

"Yes Sir!" she gasped. 

"Beg for it," he whispered in her ear. 

"Please Sir," she grunted as she rode him. "Give me your cum!" 

"More," he demanded. 

"Please! I want it!" she said in between her grunts as he thrust upward into her. 

"More," 

"Cum for me Sir!" 

"How much do you want it?" 

"Please!" she begged against his lips. His mouth found her nipples and his teeth nipped there. 

"Fuck yes," she gasped. "Please! Cum for me! Give me your precious seed!" 

"Cum, for me, PLEASE!" she gasped as she looked into his eyes. Her voice was raising and he began to kiss her as his orgasm approached. 

"You are going to cum for me!" she smiled as she recognized it. He nodded and laid back and she doubled her speed. She watched him carefully as he held onto her hips. "Cum Sir! Shoot your hot cum for me!" She continued to beg. 

Right as his orgasm was about to explode she hopped off his cock and slid down to take his cock in her mouth. He lifted his head and watched her drink greedily as wave after enormous wave exploded from his cock. She could feel the cum surge through the vein on the underside of his cock. It throbbed against her bottom lips as she held his cock with her mouth. 

She struggled with his cum, as it quickly filled her mouth with its salty flavor. She swallowed multiple times but some still managed to leak out of her mouth around his cock as she pulled his cock with her small hand, jerking his cum into her. 

Once his orgasm abated she swallowed what she had left in her mouth, then began to lick the cum off her hand. The small amount which had escaped from the mouth because of the copious amount he erupted with overflowed and caught there. 

He watched her as his breathing came back to him. She looked absolutely beautiful there, his cum on her lips and chin. Her tongue licking it off her hand. 

"Thank you Sir!" she smiled as she suckled him clean. "I needed that!" 

He pulled her up and spooned with her. His cock against her back as she wrapped her arms around his. He kissed the back of her head and inhaled her scent. That made his secret smile come out. The smell of her, in his nose. Like a rose, its sweet scent leading him to a lullaby. 

The next morning, Alex stood nervously to the side of the tarp. The crowd was growing by the minute. Gabby had come over and tried to peek but Alex shooed her away. Gavin and her parents sat in the front row. Her dad and Gavin chatting amiably. Her mother scowling at her from time to time. 

She had been short with Alex all morning. Alex wondered if she heard their lovemaking in the next room. At the time, when they were in the throes of their passion, she didn't care. But in the morning she wondered if she was able to keep quiet enough. Her father told her not to worry about her mother's poor mood and to not let it bother her special day. This day was about her, not her mother, he told her with a kiss. 

The Mayor stood at the lectern and gave a brief speech before he introduced Alex who approached nervously. She had the notecards of her speech in her quaking hand. She was never good at public speaking, and this large crowd was causing her knees to knock. 

"Thank you Mr. Mayor," she said adjusting the microphone to fit her short height. "Good morning," she said to the crowd as all eyes fell on her. She took a deep breath and looked to Gavin who gave her a wink for courage. 

"I would like to thank a few people before we unveil the wall," she began slowly, her nervousness causing her voice to shake slightly. She hoped it wasn't too noticeable. 

"First, I would like to thank the Mayor for giving me this opportunity. I would like to thank Gabby Battera, who discovered me and gave me this once in a lifetime opportunity. I would like to thank Maole Cardo for giving me my first art showing where I would meet Gabby," she took a deep breath as she shuffled her cards. Her heart nearly stopped as the cards nearly exploded from her hand in a shower of white paper. She gathered her composure before beginning again. 

"I would like to thank my roommate Lena Anderson, who supported this artist when she couldn't pay her half the rent. Which was a lot!" Alex said with a smile. 

This got the crowd to laugh and Alex was happy about that because it got her to relax. She let the laughter die down before beginning. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She took a deep breath before continuing. 

"I would like to thank my parents, who are here today from Pennsylvania to see this moment," she said looking at her father as he wiped a tear from his eye. 

"My Dad taught Art to high school students back home, which included me. He always told me I had to pay my dues for the things I wanted. As I stand here today, I realized something. I realized that I didn't pay them alone, he paid them with me. I am humbled by that fact. Dad, this is what you brought to life!" she said with a wave of her hand to the unseen wall. 

"To do something like this, a lot has to happen," she adlibbed. "You have to be a good artist, you also have to be in the right place at the right time. But most of all you have to have a strong group around you who believe in you and support you. I have that. In Lena and my father, and then in one more person who God has graced me with." 

"So lastly, but certainly not least," she said taking a deep breath as her father's tears of pride caused her voice to break. "As I said, no one does something like this alone, I have listed several people that were instrumental, but none are more important than the man who has stolen my heart! He stood by me...and when I thought I couldn't do this, he said I could. When I wanted to change my mind about what to put on this wall, he stood by me and helped. All the hours I spent here, he made sure I had all I needed. He encouraged me every step of the way, sacrificing things that I will never be able to repay. He made sure I had everything. From dinners, to a shoulder to rest on when I needed it. To a simple wink of encouragement." 

"I know I most certainly would not be here if not for him," she looked down at her notes. Her heart beat impossibly fast. She was unsure how he would respond to being singled out like this. He was always low key. He would never have allowed this if he knew she was going to do it. 

"Thank you Gavin, for all you have given me, for all you have done for me and for all you have introduced me to. Without you, I'm not here. Without you I wouldn't have had the strength to do this. Without you I wouldn't have met Maole. Without you...I wouldn't know what it is like to fall...in love. I love you." 

The words tumbling from her lips surprised even her. She had no idea she was going to say them. They weren't in her notes. They were just there. On her lips. Then in the open for all to hear. She quickly turned to the mayor. 

"Mr. Mayor, will you do the honors?" she smiled at him. Her heart beating fast in her chest. 

"Absolutely!" he said as he got up to pull the rope to reveal the wall to everyone. Alex stole a peek at Gavin to see his reaction to her bold proclamation. She didn't know why she even said it. It just felt right to say. But now she was afraid it would scare him off. 

Gavin was saying something to her father, then looked to her with his eyes. She couldn't read him. 

There was a loud round of applause, and a mix of oohs and aahs. The crowd stood and applauded boisterously. She smiled with pride as she let out a breath of relief.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 21



The crowd filtered by her, commenting on the details she had included. The scene she had created was a story of the city of Chicago. From the very beginning, to present day, the city changing as it moved down the wall, from early times, to the rise of skyscrapers. The Chicago fire was there, bold and bright as it engulfed the city in her swirls of orange and red paint. Then the rise of the Windy City from the ashes afterward. 

Moving down, the city changed as you walked. Growing as you went, then around the edges, there were those who made Chicago. From celebrities like Oprah, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis. To sports stars like Michael Jordan, Dick Butkus, and Ryne Sandberg. Politicians Judy Baar Topinka, Richard M. Daley and other political shakers. To musicians like Kanye West, R. Kelly, Buddy Guy and Koko Taylor. 

Chicago's dark side made it as well, Al Capone, John Dillinger were represented in their time frame of the city, the speakeasies and girls in flapper dresses. Bozo the Clown with his bright red hair and nose, with his counterpart Cookie. The Cubs, the Bulls. White Sox and Blackhawks. Da Bears. Their colorful logo or mascot representing their location in the city. 

Alex managed to make all of Chicago available. The food. The Lake. Museums and music. People pointed out all the details. Alex saw Gabby staring in disbelief. 

"What do you think?" Alex asked her with a smile. 

"This...is utterly fantastic!" she gasped. "How did you do this?" 

"You," she smiled. "You took a chance on an unknown." 

"You are amazing!" Gabby smiled as she hugged her. "This...is worth talking about!" 

"Not mad that I changed it?" Alex smiled. 

"Not at all!" Gabby assured her. "There will be people who walk by this every day and see something they didn't see before!" 

"That was the goal," Alex nodded. 

Alex found Gavin by the wall, she smiled at what he was looking at. 

"Found yourself, did you?" she asked softly. He nodded. "I couldn't possibly leave the most important thing, to me anyway, in Chicago out!" 

Gavin was there at what she painted was a party in the time of prohibition. Girls all around him, he in a tuxedo. Looking over his shoulder at what faded into the next scene which just happened to coincide with the logo of the Chicago Wolves minor league hockey team. It fit in perfectly as the Wolves play at the Rosemont Horizon which is near the part of the city in which he was standing in the painting. He smiled at the symbolism she put into it. Only the two of them would get it, but it was there. 

"Alex," Gavin shook his head. 

"Did you see Madelyn?" Alex asked pointing her out as she took Gavin's hand. He smiled when he saw her. 

Of all the comments she was concerned about, his was the most troublesome. He was so quiet she was concerned he would be angry that he was so prominently displayed in her painting. But his comment was the one she was desperate to hear. 

"This is absolutely worth suffering a cold shower for!" he teased as he leaned into her and placed a kiss on her temple. 

"Never going to live that one down am I?" Alex exhaled deeply. Relieved. 

"Not as long as I can get something out of it," he laughed. "You outdid yourself here." 

He took her into his arms and kissed her. 

"That was some speech," he said softly. 

"Got a little carried away there," she whispered within his grip. "Sorry, I...," she didn't finish. 

"I'm not," he whispered. She looked up at him. "I'm just afraid you may be expecting too much of me." Alex frowned. That was not what she wanted to hear. He gently kissed her lips but she wanted more. Not just in his kiss. 

"I don't want to bring up a minor flaw with your speech," he smiled at her ruefully. 

"Just one?" she shook her head. 

"You didn't thank your mother," he pointed out softly hoping to not make her feel buried in guilt for the omission. 

"I thanked my parents," she said with a shrug. 

"Yes but your father was singled out, as was Lena, Maole, Gabby and me," he said taking his fingers through her hair. "But not your mother." 

"I didn't," she shrugged, it wasn't a question. It was a statement. 

"I take it that it was intentional?" Gavin frowned. 

"Does that make me a bad person?" she asked him softly. 

"It depends on the why," he told her lifting her head to look at her. 

"My mother has been dead set against my whole way of life," she told him her eyes tearing up. "My art was always put down by her, from contests I would enter in Jr. High, to high school. She refused to allow my father to help pay for college, like they did my older sisters, because I wanted an art degree." 

"She said if I wanted their help I needed to pick a degree that would be worth something, not some degree that wasn't worth the paper it was printed on," she continued slowly as they moved down the wall together. 

"So I did it on my own," she told him with a shrug. 

Gavin said nothing, just moving along with her pointing out things on the wall that he liked. 

"When I was accepted into the School of Art Institute in Chicago, she threw a big fit! When I decided on that school, she packed my things and had them in boxes when I got home," she said wiping a tear away when it slipped out. He squeezed her tightly to his side in comfort. 

"When they would come here to visit, she would find something to ruin it. Either where I lived, who was there, boyfriends were especially easy prey. The fact I had to work at a restaurant to make ends meet!" She shook her head. 

"Nothing pleased her, she always found something and picked a fight. It seems she was trying to break me down so I would come crawling back to Pennsylvania to them so she could give me the 'I told you so' speech. I can't tell you how much I despise 'I told you so' speeches!" 

"My dad helped on the sly, when mother wasn't looking," Alex continued. "But you heard her last night! I mean, the way she went after you!" 

"That's a parent's job!" he laughed showing her it was no big deal. 

"Would your parents have done that?" she asked him. He shook his head. 

"No," he said firmly. "What I told you was the truth, my parents would have adored you! Not saying they didn't critique some of my choices but they were always respectful. You, they would have adored!" 

"I wish I could have met them," Alex said softly. 

"Me too!" Gavin laughed. "My mother would have made sure this relationship lasts more than a year!" 

"How so?" Alex laughed. 

"She would have been pushing the marriage thing, grandkids...the lot!" he said with a shake of his head. 

She frowned. It would have been nice to have an ally like that! Someone who meant the world to him, pushing from one side while she tried to win him from the other. 

Chapter 23* 

Alex walked towards the Expo, today was its grand opening. The first day the world was introduced to Alexandria Lasko. Gavin had gone on a call, but promised to meet her there. She was giddy. Her feet seemingly hovering over the sidewalk instead of walking on it. There were a ton of things going right in her life now and she couldn't help but connect them to Gavin and this new lifestyle! 

She smiled when she saw him. He was sitting on the park bench he had become so familiar with, the one he would watch her from as she worked. One she didn't know he occupied until Lena told her. How selfish was that? To not notice the man she loved sitting there? She felt the guilt rise in her again. 

She saw the loving lunches and the worry on his face. The tenderness he showered her with at home. She never really thanked him for any of it. She was just so overwhelmed with the work on the wall she just didn't have time, but looking back, all benefited her. She just didn't notice while he was doing them so much, as her mind was on nothing but the wall. 

It wasn't until after Lena brought it up that she noticed that, of the things he was doing for her, nothing benefited him. He had lost weight with his worry about her. Gavin put off his patients at times for her and put his own needs to the side.  

She pushed it from her mind as that only brought guilt as well. Guilt he wouldn't let her address by saying it was no big deal, that he liked watching her. It pleased him, he told her, dismissing her apology as unnecessary. 

Her parents were finally gone. Gavin had convinced them to stay for a couple of days after the unveiling. To visit, he said, but she was glad when they left. She was tired of her mother's glares when she would say something to Gavin, or touch him with her hands. Or, heaven forbid, kiss him! Her father told her to ignore it. She was happy, that is all that mattered. 

Gavin and her father got along fantastically, which pleased her a great deal. There was only one person that mattered more than her father, and she had proclaimed her love to him in front of everybody! 

She grimaced as she remembered Gavin's words to her after, tinting her revelry that day. That she may be expecting too much from him. Not that he loved her too, not that he was flattered. Just that she was expecting too much from him. Like love in itself was an impossibility for him. 

She sat next to him as he smiled, fixated on her wall. She looked over and saw people looking at it, inspecting it and pointing out things they liked, having their picture taken in front of it like it was an important landmark itself. 

"What do you think when you see that?" he asked her softly. He pointed his head towards the family having their picture taken in front of her creation. 

"I'm flattered," she smiled. "To think that people will remember a part of Chicago by that picture. To think I had some small part of their memory." 

"I envy you," Gavin smiled as he nodded, but it wasn't his traditional smile. This was more of a grimaced smile, one that was both happy and sad. She looked to him with questioning eyes. 

"Why?" she finally asked him when she couldn't read him, nor did he elaborate. 

"To have done something...something that will inspire. To have left a mark that will live beyond you," he said softly. The awe in his voice caused her heart to sputter. 

"Do you know how many people I have seen touch your work today, and I know that it has inspired them, or has touched them in some meaningful way?" She shook her head but he didn't look at her. 

"Hundreds," he said with a soft snort. "I have sat here for over two hours, I have watched people walk up to it, touch it, point something out that drew their attention, caught their eye or spoke to them even," he said looking at her. 

"You have made a difference," he said turning back. "You are lucky, not many people do. Most just go through life running through the motions. Existing." 

"Do you believe you don't make a difference?" Alex asked him seeing the disappointment in himself. He said nothing. 

"Gavin," she shook her head as she picked up his hand. "You are a doctor!" 

"You make it sound like that is something enviable," he smiled. 

"It is!" she gasped in disbelief. "How many people would love to be a doctor? To be that smart? To save lives?" 

"You think because I'm a doctor I make a difference? That I'm smart?" he chuckled without humor. 

"Yes," she said firmly. 

"You think I have done something significant?" he asked her. 

"You change lives, by helping people. Your patients," she pointed out. 

"Using your logic then," he started as he leaned back. "In the time I have sat here, you have done more good, in those two hours, than I have in the eight years as a doctor." 

"How do you figure?" 

"I have seen hundreds of people be touched by your work," he pointed out. "I service less than a hundred patients." 

"You have done more good in a couple of hours than I have in my life," he said softly. 

She shook her head. He was making her angry. How could he think so little of himself? It made her wonder what was this really all about. 

"Do you think an auto mechanic is smart?" Gavin asked her, the changing of gears in the conversation had her furrowing her brow in confusion so she did the only thing she could think of, she shrugged. He looked to her showing that a shrug wouldn't do. 

"I guess some are," Alex told him trying to read where this conversation was going. 

"Do you think a mechanic is as smart as me?" he asked her pointedly. This caused her to laugh. 

"Not even close," she said firmly shaking her head. 

"Why?" 

"What do you mean, why?" she scoffed. "You went to med school!" 

"So because I can read a book and remember better than some, I'm smarter?" He continued his baffling line of thought. She nodded. Gavin laughed while he shook his head. 

"You know, most people would agree with you," Gavin frowned. "That is what society tells them to believe. Doctors are smarter than greasy auto mechanics." Alex watched him. 

"I've got news for you," Gavin smiled. "There is no way I could work on a car. I have taken shop classes and nearly failed! Sure, I can diagnose a patient and prescribe the right medicine for them. But if my car starts to sputter...forget it! I'm totally lost! I can barely find the dipstick in the motor! I know where the dipstick in the cabin of the car is!" He laughed as he nudged her in his joke. 

"That doesn't make you dumb," she pointed out. 

"No it means that we are all smart in certain things," he said to her. 

"Gavin," she shook her head. "Where are you going with this?" 

"It means we are all equal. Would you agree? That we all have some talent, that we all have some sort of gift that we are better at than others?" Gavin asked with a sigh, she nodded cautiously. "So if we are all equal, how do we measure ourselves?" Alex looked to him blankly. She was completely lost. 

"What I mean is," Gavin began to explain as he could tell he had lost her. "We all have something we are good at. You have art, my mechanic can make my car sing. I can make people feel better. All equally important. So on death's bed, and we look back at the things we have done...how do we know we were successful in life? Is it who has the most money? Power? How do we measure success?" 

"I don't know," Alex admitted. 

"I think, in the end, we look back and see the people we touch, the people we inspire, the lives we change," he told her. "To me, that is the most important. Some will say money, some will say power. Some will say family even." 

"I personally have found, in the end, no amount of money is better than influencing another person's life. Whether that person be a family member or friend or even a complete stranger, as you are doing right now with your wall. The adage of money can't buy happiness is right. I work with people with all the money they will ever need. But are they happy? Are they immortal because of it? No, in the end, they die. The only thing that separates us is, did we leave an impact? Did we make a difference? Did we use the gifts God gave us to make the world a better place?" 

"So you think you haven't made an impact?" Alex asked him seeing a ray of light in his thinking. 

"I think," he started, the he shrugged with a shake of his head. "I don't know." 

"So," Alex began her game of chess with him again. "How many people do you have to impact before you consider yourself a success? How many lives do you have to change? Because obviously that is what you are going to measure yourself by, you don't care about money and you don't care about power. If you are going to measure your life by touching people's lives or impacting people positively, then what is the number you need to deem yourself a success?" 

"There isn't a set number," Gavin laughed. "Right now? One would be fine." 

"One?" Alex smiled picking up his hand and pulling him up. 

"One person," he smiled seeing the look of determination on her face that reminded him of when she worked. One he loved. 

She pulled him to the wall and lifted his hand and placed it there. 

"Feel that?" she asked him. He shrugged. Now it was Gavin's turn to not know where she was going. "This is the influence you have on me!" 

"It's not the same," he said with a shake of his head seeing her angle. 

"Why?" she asked him pointedly. "Because you physically didn't brush the colors on?" 

"Exactly," he smiled. She smiled as her trap sprang. "What is that grin for?" 

"Because," she said coming close. "You put the base color on. Without you, this doesn't get done. Yes I may take the glory of the colors, but it's the base color that makes this come to life. Without it, it's impossible for the colors to shine! It's the color behind the bright ones that make it pop! Most people don't know the lives they influence. I do. I'm lucky in that. I know that without you, this wall isn't here!" 

He rolled his eyes as he saw what she did. She smiled at him. He hooked his arm around her and pulled her into the line for the Expo. 

"Remind me to never play chess with you!" he admired. "Thanks. I needed that." 

"You're welcome," she smiled. "I know you think you haven't done anything, and nothing I can say will change that thought, but only because you won't allow it. But you have made a difference. You made a difference in my life. In turn, I have made a difference in others. You are as much a reason for that wall as I am. Take pride it that!" 

She could tell he was somewhat placated by her words as his smile came back out. She could still see the underlying disillusionment in his job. She could see his point there, he only worked for people who had money. Most were CEOs or politicians who only thought of money and power. Gavin didn't care about either, but it surrounded him, dragging him down to its level. His disillusionment with his job would be something she would like to fix, if she could. 

Walking around the Expo, they enjoyed the massive amount of food that was available. From hot dogs to pizza. From pasta dishes to polish sausage. If you couldn't find something you liked here, you were impossible to please. If you had a craving, it was at this Expo. 

The beer tent was popular as they had a multitude of domestic and foreign flavors to be sampled and Alex was sampling them with smile. She was enjoying the music, the atmosphere, but most especially...the company. 

"I need another beer," she said to him over the band as they played. "Do you want one?" 

"I'll get it," he said as he left her. She shook her head. She should have known he wasn't going to allow her to go get it! She turned to watch the band, dancing with the music, cheering at the end of every song. 

"Alex!" the voice carried over the music behind her. She turned with a smile but it disappeared slightly when she saw her. 

"Elizabeth!" She said as the dark haired goddess engulfed her in a hug. Alex returned it warmly but when she opened her eyes she saw him. Royce. She mustered her best smile and turned her eyes to Elizabeth. Trying to push out the negative thoughts of Kelly in the hospital at the hands of the animal behind Elizabeth. 

"How are you?" Alex asked her. 

"Good!" Elizabeth told her with a nod. 

Alex gave her a solid look over. She was thinner, her eyes had some puffiness to them to match the dark circles under them. Overall she looked tired. 

"You ok?" Alex asked her. "You look a little worn down!" 

"I am a little," Elizabeth told her. "The job thing is running me ragged!" 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. 

She didn't know why that was bothering her, perhaps it was because she never noticed her being worn down before when she lived with Gavin. Then again it was only a matter of a few weeks after she became involved before Elizabeth moved out. So maybe it was the job. But something about her was putting Alex off and she couldn't pinpoint what it was. 

Then again the asshole behind her had her put off too. He seemed to be hovering around, then looking on Alex lustfully. Maybe Alex was misreading it, but she considered herself an attractive girl. She had been looked on by random guys before and knew they were checking her out or lusting after her. She knew, as any woman would know, what that look was all about. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 21



"I saw the wall! It was magnificent!" Elizabeth told her, bringing Alex's focus back to her. 

"Thanks," Alex smiled. 

She was trying to keep her eyes on Elizabeth but they would drift from time to time to the new Dom behind her. Alex was trying to ignore him as best she could but her contempt for him was bubbling. Then she thought about Gavin. What would he do if he came back and saw Royce? Or Elizabeth for that matter. She hoped this was just a quick hug and go, she was having a hard time keeping Gavin upbeat as it was. To have Elizabeth here could bring him down again. 

"Beth," Gavin's voice told her the worst of the worst possible scenarios was playing out. 

"Gavin," Elizabeth forced her smile. She looked him over then lowered her eyes. Alex watched and said a silent prayer this didn't blow up. 

Gavin reached out and stroked her face. 

"You look tired," Gavin pointed out immediately. 

"Job," she smiled as she enjoyed his touch again. It was obvious to Alex and her jealousy spiked. Gavin removed it when he realized he was doing it. A momentary lapse of protocol on another's sub. 

"Well," Gavin frowned. "Don't let it get you too far down, you'll get sick again." 

"I'll try," she smiled sadly seeing the distance he was putting up with his standoffish tone. 

"Did you see Alexandria's work?" Gavin smiled proudly as he took her hand. 

"I did," Elizabeth smiled looking at them holding hands. It made her yearn for earlier times. 

"It was spectacular, as if Alex could do anything less!" Elizabeth forced out happiness when what she truly felt was jealousy. 

"I agree," Gavin nodded. "Alexandria is spectacular." 

"Well," Elizabeth frowned taking note of the way he said her name. "We should get going, Royce's dad has a get together in a few hours. It's a big deal, Royce is up for...," 

"Beth," Royce stopped her. 

"Sorry," she smiled. "He likes his little secrets!" Elizabeth laughed still looking at the way they were holding hands. It was affectionately, it made her look to Royce in a hope he would do the same. But the one thing she had learned about Royce, he was not affectionate! 

Alex laughed with her as the men stared at one another. Neither wanted to be in the presence of the other, but neither would walk away. As if they did, it would be some sort of defeat. Elizabeth took Alex in her arms and hugged her warmly. 

"I miss you," she said to Alex. 

"Me too," Alex smiled as she pulled away. "Once you calm down from work, let's go out and get something to eat...shop...something!" 

"Deal!" Elizabeth smiled. "Nice to see you again, Gavin." She said softly and it appeared she wanted to hug him but his demeanor told her not to try and she knew Royce would go red in fury. 

"Beth, take care of yourself," Gavin told her with a forced smile. She nodded and the two of them walked away. Royce stopping from time to time to smile and shake hands with someone. A possible voter. Glad handing like a proper politician. 

"Are you ok?" Alex asked him softly. 

"Yes," he laughed like it was crazy for her to ask. 

"You can't fool me, Sir," she told him. "I love you too much." 

"I know," he sighed. "I'm sorry. Just a bit put off." 

"I understand," she smiled with a shrug. "I wonder what their little secret get together was about?" 

"Royce's dad is retiring before the end of his term," Gavin told her still glaring at the couple as they intermixed with the crowd. "He is putting Royce in his seat with some sort of back alley deal." 

Alex looked on him surprised. 

"I work with money," he reminded. "Those with money know politicians. It's no secret in my circle. But if his father thinks that man is going to be President? Well, he doesn't have that type of support. Taking his Daddy's Senate seat is one thing, taking the White House is another! Neither are liked enough for that!" 

"Royce is going to run for President?" Alex asked him stunned as she looked to the couple walking away. 

"That's the rumor," he frowned as he handed her a beer. 

"Do you think he has a chance?" Alex asked him with a small smile. Alex was happy for Elizabeth as she knew it was Elizabeth's dream to be with a man with power. She was happy Elizabeth was getting what she wanted. 

"Why?" he asked her coldly, misjudging the reason for her smile. "Want to join Elizabeth and ride his coat tails?" 

At first she thought it was a bad joke, she turned to him and saw the harshness in his eyes. Daring her. Instantly her temper surged over and it spewed before she could reign it in. 

"Go fuck yourself!" Alex growled, angry that he would think so little of her, to think that was even a thought in her mind. "Asshole! And no, I don't mean that as a compliment either!" She stormed off, dropping the newly bought beer in the trash can as she left the music area, furiously brushing those in the crowd that got in her path. That hurt! To insinuate that she would be interested in a shithead like Royce? What was he thinking? Just because Elizabeth was stupid to buy into the power, she wasn't. It hurt to have him say that, to even think that. 

Storming away she thought about what she was doing, what she had said. He was hurt, she had to remember that, but it didn't mean he had to hurt her in return. 

It was hours later before he made it to the condo, she was sitting on the couch when he came in. She could feel his anger as he enter the door. It was the way he dropped his keys on the table instead of setting them down. The way the door closed with a thud. 

He came around and saw her but neither said anything. She was still angry as well. It wasn't fair what he said to her. The entire time she sat there waiting for him, she thought of Pavy's words of caution. It made her wonder, would this be how he would push her away? The jabs of anger? The coldness? 

How much could she stand? How much of it could she put up with? If the one smack of insult caused her to storm away from him, how much would she tolerate? Was this the beginning? Or the end? Fuck! How did she wind up falling in love with someone who may never love her back? This was going to hurt! The BDSM lifestyle had better prepare her for the pain. But what could hurt more than a broken heart? She sniffled as she thought about it, a cold one she decided. 

"I'm sorry," Alex tried. 

"It's fine," he said gruffly in a tone that screamed it most certainly wasn't fine. 

"That hurt," she tried to explain. He looked to her as she stood up to go to him. She could feel the temperature of the room drop the closer she got to him. The coldness he was putting off, warning her to stay away. She was just too stubborn to listen to it. 

"You obviously don't care," she whispered when he didn't apologize or try to explain. 

"I warned you that you may be expecting too much from me," he told her firmly. 

She wondered why he didn't just reach out and physically strike her. It would have hurt less than what he was doing now. 

"Ouch," she whispered. 

"I think you really need to think about your role here," he said to her in a tone that warned her that the end was near. 

"I thought you said this wasn't role playing? This was a lifestyle?" she punched back instinctively. 

"Take caution in your tone," he warned her. 

"You think your spankings are more painful than your words?" she whispered. 

Perhaps he wasn't going to push her away. Perhaps she was going to blow it up all on her own. He moved away from her towards the bedroom. 

"I'm not Elizabeth," she said to him stopping him at the doorway. 

"I never said you were," he said back, his anger draining with each word. He knew better, and regret began to fill him. 

"You said it loud and clear when you put me in the same boat when you insinuated that I would even consider being in the same room as that piece of shit!" she told him. 

"I didn't mean to insinuate anything," he frowned, he left his back to her but dropped his head letting her know she hit her mark. 

"That hurt," she repeated. 

"I'm sorry," he said to her as he turned. 

"Let's get all our cards on the table, shall we?" she asked him. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I'm not Elizabeth," she said again. 

"I know," he agreed. 

"I'm not Carla," she said this a little softer knowing the name alone would crush him. 

"I know," he whispered. 

"If you think for one second," she said firmly, coming to him. "That you will just say a few words and I'll be gone...you are shit out of luck!" This caused him to grin. "I'm one tough bitch when I have to be." 

"That I do know!" he smiled as she put her arms around his neck. He enclosed his arms around her. 

"I love you," she said to him. "That means I'm here for the duration. Not one year, not a couple of months. The sub gets to end it, that's what you said. Get ready Sir. I'm not going anywhere." 

"Hmm," he smiled as he looked on her in admiration. 

"Don't ever hurt me that way again," she warned him. He lost his smile. 

"Or what?" 

"Or I'm going to make your life a living hell!" she whispered in his ear. "No spankings, no discipline will ever hurt me the way you did today." 

"I won't do it again," he promised. 

"Thank you, Sir," she smiled as she kissed him. 

Later that evening Gavin sat in the bed, the TV on while he watched the news. His mind on what Alex said to him today. He was wrong to take his frustrations out on her. Then to think she was anything like Elizabeth who foolish at best. Cruel at worst. If there was one thing he learned, Alex was nothing like Elizabeth. Was Alex right and he cared for Elizabeth more than he was willing to allow himself to believe? It clouded his thoughts now. 

"Hey," he called out. "Hurry up, the piece on you is next!" He told her after seeing the promo for the upcoming news stories after the commercial break. Alex came out of the bathroom, the wisps of steam from the hot shower following her. 

She slid into bed, naked, and put her head on his stomach as she watched the TV with him. She gently stroked the inside of his thigh the way he was stroking her wet hair. It was cold against his stomach but he said nothing as he was beginning to enjoy the comfort he felt with her around. A feeling of contentment he hadn't had but one other time. He felt...well he couldn't honestly put into words his feelings. The main thing was, he felt. 

He let his fingers move from her hair to back. The tan skin rippling with goosebumps that made him smile. He loved to watch her receptiveness to his touch. The way her body told him without words that she loved the way he was touching her. Simplistic things like a small brush of his fingers on her skin. He then thought about how much pleasure he was receiving from that alone. More than he had ever received from Elizabeth. Such a simple thing, but it made a world of difference. 

He thought to her three little word proclamation. 'I love you'. To most that would mean the world. To him? It was scaring the hell out of him. He would never admit it to her, but he was afraid. He smiled, he also knew he didn't have to tell her. She already knew he was afraid. She also knew why. How long would she go without demanding some sort of similar proclamation? 

"Oh my God!" she gasped as she came on the TV. "Is that what my hair looked like today? Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Jesus Christ!" Gavin laughed. "The things you worry about! Really? Your hair looks great! You're beautiful!" 

"Oh my God I look like a fucking troll!" she complained. This caused Gavin to laugh heartily. Alex said nothing until he was done. 

"I love your laugh," she smiled as she kissed his stomach. "You are always so serious. So focused. It's like music when you let it go." 

"The things you say," he smiled using her words against her. Once the interview was over he shut the TV off. She turned over to look at him still leaving her head on him. 

"Why do you believe that you haven't done anything?" she asked him. 

"I haven't," he grunted in a half laugh. 

"You don't think treating the sick is something?" she asked him. 

"Little one, I treat sex injuries, the occasion cough, high blood pressure, acidity," he shrugged. "I'm not trying to solve Cancer. I'm not trying to solve the AIDS epidemic. I'm helping the filthy rich with their perceived serious illnesses." 

"Perceived?" she asked. 

"Baby," he shook his head. He knew she wouldn't understand as no one did. "I got into medicine for one reason, but now I'm doing it for the exact opposite. I don't help people like I thought I would. I'm treating self-inflicted wounds mostly. The people I treat, stress themselves so much about moving up the money and power ladder they give themselves these problems. High blood pressure and ulcers from stress and bad diet." 

She nodded that she understood. 

"So you want to do something meaningful," she said with a nod. 

"I want to make a difference," he told her in a whisper. "Helping somebody remove an anal toy from their ass, is not making a difference. Helping them stay healthy so they can make another million dollars that they are never going to spend on humanity, is not making a difference." 

"You know," she smiled. "You don't have to do those things." 

"I know," he smiled. "Which is why I hate myself, I'm in this mess with them and I'm so afraid of trying to change. I don't do change very well. I'm a creature of habit." 

"I've noticed," she laughed. 

"What do you mean?" he laughed with her. 

"You always put your keys in the exact same spot, you have the very same routine in the morning. Up, shower, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, computer, then you start your day," she told him. 

"Everything in this house has a very specific spot," she continued. "I put my bag anywhere, but it always ends up in the same spot. Which is where you put it, by the bedroom door in that chair." She said this as she looked over at it. "See? I know for a fact I didn't put it there, I can't remember where I put it, but I know it wasn't there!" 

"You dropped it on the couch," he smiled. "I put it there in case you get the urge to draw and leave me in a lurch again!" 

"Oh man, here we go!" she laughed as she moved towards him and kissed his lips gently. "Know this Sir," she said against his lips. Her soft lips gently brushing his as she spoke, her breath hot against his skin. "You have made a difference. You have made a difference in me." She moved back and stroked his face softly. 

"I know that doesn't mean that much," she said softly. 

"It means the world!" he stopped her. "You don't understand how much...," 

"Explain it to me!" she begged. 

"You're right," he said after staring at her. "I'm in this life trying to stay protected. As a Dom I'm in control. Trying to stop things like...," he paused as his jaw shook. 

"Like Carla from ever happening to me again," he finally forced her name from his lips. 

"You can't save those who do not want to be saved!" she said firmly to him. 

"That sounds like Pavy," he smiled. 

"Ok," she said looking to the ceiling trying to figure out a way to say it to him. "Let's say one of your clients gets diabetes." He nodded as he followed her. "If that client won't eat the right foods, won't stay away from the sweets, what happens?" 

"He will probably become insulin dependent," Gavin said. 

"Then if he doesn't watch his numbers?" she smiled as she read him. He was seeing where she was going with this. 

"Look, you can only help that client if he is willing to make changes! If he dies because of diabetic shock or whatever, that's not your fault. You told them what the repercussions are. You warned them. You gave them what they needed to save them. But ultimately, everyone has to make a choice." 

She took hold of his face and kissed his lips. 

"Carla made hers...Elizabeth made hers," she said never leaving his lips. She moved to the side of his head and put her lips next to his ear. "I've made mine, then only one who hasn't made a choice...is you." 

"What?" he laughed. 

"You are miserable doing what you are doing," she pointed out. "Like a diabetic, you have to make a lifestyle choice. If you don't, then your death is certain. Maybe not a physical one, but the emotional one." 

He tilted his head at her as he thought about it. 

"There," she smiled. "As your emotional doctor, I have diagnosed you and have a prescription for you." 

"And that is?" he grinned. 

"Forgive yourself," she said softly. "Carla wasn't your fault. Elizabeth is a fool. If you don't like where you stand, move. If you don't like your life, make a change. But most of all, if you don't love yourself...give yourself a reason to and remove the things that are keeping you from loving yourself." 

He nodded as he thought. 

"I love you," she said again. "There is a lot to love about you. From your laughter, to your tenderness, to this big heart you possess!" She said putting her hand on his chest. "But until you love yourself...you will never love someone else!" 

He leaned into her and kissed her. Gently at first, then more passionately as it grew between them. His hands holding her head softly, she moved to straddle him with her knees resting on either side of his hips as he pulled her tight to his body. The warmth of each other's skin intermingling. 

His kisses were setting her on fire, the way his hands moved on her body. Slowly following her curves. They made their way around to her breasts and he cupped them gently. Then slid them around to her back to pull her tighter to him, seemingly wanting to pull her into his body. All the while his lips tasted hers, never moving from them. Never stopping. 

He rolled her over to her back and he was hovering over her, her heart pounding against his. She smiled as he pulled back slightly to stare in her eyes. 

"You are absolutely stunning," he whispered. "I'm find myself waiting to wake up from this dream...then begging for it to not end." 

"I'm not a dream," she whispered back as he began to nuzzle her ear. "I'm here. Right here and I'm not going anywhere!" 

"Thank you," he whispered as he began to move lower on her. His lips gently caressing her flesh as he moved over her. His tongue trailing lower causing her body to shake with excitement. 

He made it to her nipples slowly, driving her mad with passion in the process. His lips catching her nipple and sucking it gently until it hardened like a firm pink eraser in his hot mouth. His eyes watched her as he trailed over to her other breast and she sighed as he treated that nipple with the same softness. Her hands pulled him closer to her, his mouth suckling her breast. 

He released her nipple and moved lower making her whimper slightly in pleasure, his tongue following her mid line on her stomach. He reached her belly button and let his tongue dip into it which brought a pleasurable gasp from her. The goosebumps were constant now, awash on her body showing him with every touch of his lips what she was feeling. 

Lower he continued, down to her hip bone. He nuzzled it, using his tongue to French kiss there, before kissing his way over to the other side and worked its partner. Hips that he watched work today with the music that played. Hips that had him hypnotized as she danced. 

At the time, he admired that she was a prime example of female perfection. He watched as other men admired her as well. She was oblivious to them though, her eyes when open were on him then her secret smile would come out for him taking his breath away. When she danced, her eyes were closed as she immersed herself in the music. Her body swaying and moving with the beat. Sometimes lowering herself a little when the music commanded her body to do so. 

Her cutoff jeans, and short tank that lifted when she raised her hands while dancing revealing her flat stomach. Both of which revealed her supple skin to the sun as it shone its personal spotlight on her letting those around her admire her fully. As if God himself was saying, this is what I created. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 21



There was a lot to admire, both to him and other men as well. He was never jealous before but a nugget formed in his gut. But when she looked at him it all washed away. He could tell she only had eyes for him. 

He admired every inch of her, from her hair that she kept pushing over her ear all day. Those perfect little ears, with their diamond studs in them. Earlobes that made him want to devour them. To her blue eyes, blue like the sky. Blue that made you stare, whether you wanted to or not. 

Her little impish nose, its upturn at the tip that he loved to kiss. Then the lips that resided just under, a soft pink, until he kissed them, then they darkened with her passion. Lips that spoke words that moved his coldness to the side. Lips that made him laugh. Lips that let out a sigh when he kissed them. Her chin just below that, firm, able to take a blow from a boxer if needed. It set her whole face in determination when she worked. 

Her body was tight, now due to the wall it was a bit on the thin side, something he would have to get her to work on. She had lost too much weight during her sixteen hour days at the wall. But now that she was done he hoped she would go back to eating regularly. 

Her breasts were a perfect size. Not too big, not too small. A handful. Her nipples that hardened so easily. Then her sex, it looked beautiful when she revealed it to him. He knew she wasn't lying about the number of men she had been with. Her soft folds were tight and were delicious to taste. A forbidden fruit that he relished in tasting. 

She was perfect in every way. Physically for sure, but that was the small part. This one, this Little One, had something he had never had before. He couldn't place it. But it had him hooked. Like a drug, a good one though. 

His lips found her sex already anticipating him. It was soft, warm and moist. Just from his kisses and that forced him to smile as he nuzzled there. Amazing! He licked the outer lips gently. Her hips lifted off the bed, inviting him deeper. Not yet Little One he smiled. 

He stayed on the outside, his tongue causing her soft moans. He looked up at her and saw her eyes closed, her head arching into her pillow. He dipped into her causing her body to shake. He tasted her sweetness and found it maddening. The drug of Alexandria began to coarse through his veins. 

He pushed harder into her now as his own need grew. He had to taste more of her, more of her depth, and she arched farther in her passion as he watched her from her soft folds. Her stomach tightening under her skin. He used his strong hands to grip her ass from underneath, pulling her into his mouth. 

Her hand taking a firm grip of his head pulling him even farther into her. Her hands. Her talented hands, she couldn't stop using them. He wouldn't stop her now, it wasn't the time for that. 

The orgasm washed out of her and onto his face, her subtle little cry out as it did made him smile satisfactorily. He loved the way she squeaked at first during her orgasm. 

Her breathing was now ragged, thanks to her orgasm. He left her sex and went up to her mouth and covered it with his. Her tongue instantly in his mouth as they played like their own persons. Dancing like those at the fair today. 

Her hands still in his hair pulling him tighter to her. He used his hips to lift his hard cock to her wet sex. He could feel the heat radiating off of it through the head of his cock. He held at the entrance as his kiss enflamed her. Her eyes flickered open when he didn't penetrate right away. 

"Please," she whispered in a soft beg. He smiled against her lips, she gasped as he let his cock slowly enter her. Inch by inch he slid into her fiery depths. Once his hips were fully against hers and he was deep within her she smiled. 

"Thank you," she whispered with a breathy sigh. "I love you." 

He slowly pulled out and left just the tip of his cock in her. Slowly he put it all back. He could feel her body explode in heat. It was almost like she was going to burn him with her skin! 

His cock pushed in and out slowly as their tongues dueled. Her soft grunts of his depth pleased him. Her hands dug into his back slightly as she held onto him as he lifted his body off of hers, pressing up on the palms of his hands, leaving their only connection the one that was bringing them the ultimate pleasure. She stared into his eyes as he gently thrust into her. 

"Oh my God," she gasped. They stared, hypnotized by one another as he thrust into her. "Yes!" 

He watched her face redden slowly. A sign of her buildup, her body would tighten next, and it did. It was so magnificent to behold. Her orgasm. He loved watching her have one. Nothing was more beautiful than her orgasm. 

When she came back to earth from her zenith she smiled at him. That made him melt. Her smile, it was so encouraging, comforting even. Her legs lifted as she wrapped them around him. She pulled herself up to kiss him and she held onto him there, half lifted off the bed. Her mouth on his ear. Her raspy breaths filling them. 

He felt his own orgasm building, but he didn't want it yet. He wanted to make this last longer. He wanted to feel her longer. To see her orgasm more. He tried to pull out to keep it at bay but her legs locked him in. He looked at her as she shook her head slowly at him. She didn't want him to stop. She didn't want him to leave her. 

"Keep going," she whispered. "Please?" 

He did, she laid back and he lowered himself on her and kissed her lips as he hips thrust into her. Their eyes locked on one another. Her secret smile egging him on, making him flow over the edge of the waterfall and fill her with his hot cum as he stared into the blue of her eyes. They twinkled at him in satisfaction. 

He lay on her and kissed her deeply as she readjusted her legs to keep him locked into place. A silent order that he wasn't to leave her. The switch in her coming to light, even for a moment, it made him smile. 

He continued to kiss her as they both came down from their height. She finally unlocked her legs and he was able to move off of her, pulling in behind her she wrapped her arms around his as he held her from behind. Her hair with its sweet jasmine scent from her shampoo leading him softly to sleep. A lullaby that only she had been able to provide. 

For the first time in as long as he could remember, he was content. Content with her in his arms. 

She awoke the next morning. The sun on her face, his arms still around her. It was like they never moved. Wait...he was still here? Holy shit! She smiled as she pulled his arms tighter around her. His hands closer to her face so she could kiss them. He was still here! Not on a call! Not in the dining room. He was still here! 

"You ok?" he asked her softly. 

"Yes," she smiled as she kissed his hands again. "You're still here!" 

"I can't imagine heaven being any better than right here, right now," he said as he kissed her head. 

"The things you say!" she smiled as she inhaled his scent from wafting around her. 

His phone rang. She closed her eyes and kissed his hands again as she pulled them tighter to her. 

"One more second," she pleaded. "One more!" 

"As you wish," he smiled into her hair. 

She knew he would have to go. This was his job. As much as he didn't find the things he wanted in it, he would still have to do it as he could do nothing else but be who he was and that was dedicated. 

"Get it," she sighed after the fifth ring. He instead pulled her tighter to his body and that made her gasp. 

"One more second," he repeated to her, his lips softly brushing her neck. 

The phone stopped ringing and she smiled. Hopefully it wasn't important and they would just leave a voice mail for him to call back later. The phone ringing again said otherwise. He frowned but reached for it and answered. 

"Ok," he said softly. "I'm on my way." 

He instead slid back against her and returned to his embrace. 

"You have to go?" she asked him. 

"Yes," he whispered. "For the first time in my life...I don't want to!" She smiled. 

"I'm not going anywhere," she reminded. 

"What do you want to do today?" he asked her taking her ear in his mouth. 

"I want to just breathe you in," she said simply, her body shivering as he pleasured her with just a simple thing of his lips on her ear. "I want to just stay in bed and breathe you in."



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 22



Chapter 24* 

"So I have some good news," Alex smiled, it was so bright and big it made Gavin smile. 

She was actually aglow, Gavin could see that she had good news long before she said anything. It was actually a departure of what she had been for some time now. Now that she was no longer working on the wall. 

"What's that?" he asked as he sat his fork down. He wanted to give her his undivided attention. 

"Well you have been on me for weeks to get back to art," she said picking up her wine glass and taking a small sip. He nodded. 

Ever since the Expo, she had not touched any of her sketchbooks or paintings. Gavin had converted the guest room to a studio for her, but all her supplies had sat untouched. He had converted it to motivate her to work as it had been two months since she did any. She had fallen into a melancholy mood because she couldn't find any inspiration. It was as if the wall had drained it from her. 

"I want you to do what makes you happy," he corrected her. "I know your art does that." 

"I know," she smiled. "You make me happy as well! Does that mean I can just do you?" 

"I think we have been doing that, haven't we?" he chuckled with and arched eyebrow. 

"Not nearly enough in my book!" she smiled bashfully. 

"You are going to wear my ass out!" he laughed. She looked to her plate with a blush. "So, your news?" He prodded gently seeing her embarrassment. 

"I got the maternity leave thing for the south side school!" she said proudly. He nodded and forced a smile for her benefit. 

"You don't look happy," she pointed out, not being fooled. 

"No, I'm happy that you're happy but...," he sighed. 

"But?" she pushed. 

"I'm not real wild about you having to go to the south side!" he told her picking up his wine glass and taking a drink with a shrug of his broad shoulders. "There are some rough neighborhoods down there! There were three drive by shootings just this weekend." 

She dropped her head and frowned. She knew he would not like it. 

"Look," he smiled reading her. "I love that you are going to teach art, I really do, but it's the neighborhoods that I'm worried about!" 

"I know," she nodded. "But these kids...I loved working with them for that one day I subbed...now I get the opportunity to do that until Christmas!" 

She knew he was going to be worried, he did that all the time with her. His overprotective nature sometimes getting in their way of their continued growth both sexually and emotionally. 

"I get it," he nodded. "Doesn't mean I'm not going to worry." 

"I get it," she said with twisted lips. 

At least he didn't outright forbid it. If he did then the fight would be on. They rarely fought anymore, thankfully. He was just always on her positively to move back to art. She knew she was in a funk, but she couldn't come out of it. He thought the art would do it but she just wasn't motivated to do that anymore. 

"Can we address that car of yours now?" he asked her with a frown. 

"There is nothing wrong with the rabbit," she warned him. This had the makings of a fight. He kept spoiling her, clothes, shoes and jewelry. He doted on her constantly, normally she didn't mind. But he had been on her to buy a new car. 

Her car was almost twenty years old and on its last leg but she just couldn't afford a new one right now. She had spent the bulk of her money from the paintings and the wall paying off her monumental student loan debt. What was left, paid back Lena, who had initially refused, but after constant pressure accepted half of what Alex was offering for payment of back rent. Now that she was debt free, she wanted to stay that way. A car payment just put her back to struggling. 

"The oil slick under it says otherwise!" he countered. "I'm surprised Greenpeace isn't here about another oil disaster because of the sheer amount of oil that thing puts out!" 

"Hey!" she laughed defensively. 

"I'm just saying," he shrugged. 

"I'm doing my best," she said shaking her head. "I've saved up some money, now with this gig I should be able to save up some more. I don't want a payment or anything because I don't know where or when my next paycheck is going to come." 

"I told you I would take care of it," he said with a deep exhale. How many times was he going to let her argue her way out of it before he just lost it and went ballistic? He couldn't explain it himself. 

He was doing is very best to keep this from becoming a massive argument. He was trying to balance being a Dom and being a boyfriend. He didn't know why he was doing that but he was trying for her. She never asked, but he just felt he should do it. 

"I'm not much on charity," she said firmly. 

"It's not fucking charity!" Gavin growled his temper rising. "I want to help you out!" 

"I know," she frowned, she had to derail his temper, she didn't want an argument. "But I want to do this on my own! I've always done everything on my own!" 

"That's bullshit," he said tossing his napkin on the table. 

"What is?" 

"That you won't let me help you," he said angrily. 

"This isn't like a set of clothes," she pointed out. "Or some shoes! We are talking thousands of dollars! I wouldn't be comfortable with that!" 

"You know," he started slowly. "I don't know why I let you refuse me the way you do, or why I accept the way you talk to me the way you do. I have never let a sub do that!" 

"It's because you love me," she smiled, trying to take some of the anger from him with her innocent smile. 

"That's why I should just buy the fucking car and suffer with your pouting afterwards!" he said picking up his fork and going back to dinner. 

She didn't point out to him that he didn't make a denial of her statement. That was as close as she could get him to saying the words. Saying them for him and having him not deny it. 

"Can I at least have my mechanic look at the piece of shit?" he asked her angrily. 

"I could live with that," she smiled knowing that was going to happen with or without her consent. 

Alex moved into the living room after putting the dinner dishes into the dish washer, as Gavin flipped through the channels on TV. When she walked in he shut the TV off and set the remote on the table next to him. 

"Can't find anything to watch?" she smiled at him. 

"No," he shrugged. "Just not in the mood for basketball tonight, seems like the only thing on." 

She nodded as she stood there as he looked her over. She had on a white v-neck tee that was nearly see through. She had tight blue jeans on that absolutely drove him crazy when she wore them. They formed tightly around her ass and hips, giving him a visual that would cause him to hold his breath when she was around in them. 

He crossed his legs, and watched her standing there. 

"Can I help you? Sir?" she smiled as she felt him undressing her from the couch. 

"Yes," he nodded. "Entertain me." 

"How?" she asked as she lowered her eyes and felt herself hold her breath. 

"Take your clothes off," he said in a tone that meant not to question or hesitate. "Slowly." 

She started with her button on her pants, slowly pulling the edge until the button popped loose. She then tugged the t-shirt over her head slowly. It pulled free from her free flowing hair as she shook her head to get it loose afterward. She dropped it near her as her eyes locked on his. He never took his eyes off her, nor did it look like he blinked. 

She smiled as her face flushed with warmth, her body began to show its early signs of arousal as her breathing increased. She pulled the zipper of the pants down slowly before running her hands up her hips and then letting her fingers dip between her pants and onto her skin. She eased the tight jean material down, shimmying her hips to help them loose from the pants. This simple action caused him to groan softly in pleasure which made her smile. 

Slowly she stepped out of the material, using her foot to kick the jeans from her. She stood there a moment in only her bra and panties to let him look at her. He nodded his approval with a smile. 

She reached around her and undid the bra, releasing her breasts from their enclosure. She let the bra slide down her arms before catching it with her hand and she let it fall to the t-shirt at her feet. 

She stood there a moment, again pausing to let him look at her, stopping after each article of clothing was removed to allow him a moment to see her, now that more of her skin was revealed to him. She ran her hands over her stomach, up to her breasts and around the nipple, which hardened immediately. They hardened due to the coolness of the room, and the excitement building in her. 

It was the way he was looking at her. Devouring her from a distance, his eyes drinking her in from head to toe and back again. His little satisfied smile on his face letting her know he was pleased in both the tempo she was using and what she was revealing to him. 

She turned around to show him what he desired most of all, her ass. She looked over her shoulder and watched him swallow hard. This brought her secret smile out, she loved teasing him this way. Driving him mad with lust was a good thing for her because it usually ended up with a good hard fuck. Something that always made her cum hard, the way he took her when he was fired up, which was always roughly. 

Gently sliding her fingers into the underwear she eased the thong down until it was around her ankles. She followed the panties down until she was bent at the waist, causing him to again let out a deep breath in a slow hiss. She smiled as she drew out the response she was looking for. 

Running her hands from her ankles up her calves, to her thighs across her buttocks giving them a slight pull to show him her anal plug that she was wearing most of the day now, the sight of which, made him close his eyes briefly. 

She left herself turned to him, leaving her backside in full view of his eyes, leaving her looking over her shoulder at him waiting for his next command. 

"You look absolutely stunning," he whispered. 

"Thank you, Sir," she said back with her smile. 

"Come here," he said softly. She immediately obeyed walking slowly to him while he sat on the couch. 

"Lay down, there on the table," he said stopping her from coming all the way to him. 

"The coffee table?" she asked him looking at it. 

"Yes," he said firmly. 

She sat down on the edge carefully, the table was a sturdy wood, but she still felt like it was going to break under her. Once she was fully sat she pulled her legs up and carefully positioned herself in the center and gently laid back. 

"Play with yourself," he said softly, once she was fully laid back and looked to him. 

"Sir?" 

"Masturbate for me," he confirmed. She looked at him as he face flushed in embarrassment. "It's a simple request, nothing that should wind up getting you a consequence for hesitation." He pointed out. 

"I'm sorry Sir," she gasped. "I've never done that!" 

"Masturbated?" he asked. 

"No, I've done that! Just never in front of anyone!" She could feel her face burning with embarrassment. 

Gavin sat there staring at her, his head propped up by his hand which was propped up by his elbow on the back of the couch. She realized she was still hesitating and soon that would anger him. 

She slowly brought her hand up and realized it was shaking a little and she couldn't explain why. Perhaps it was because this was the most intimate of intimates! Something you do that you never tell anyone about! A forbidden pleasure that most people denied doing even though most people did it. 

She let her fingers slip slowly over her pubic hair strip gently. She turned her eyes away from him, embarrassed as her fingers hit the top of her clit. Her fingers lightly rubbed there to begin with. She closed her eyes as her body responded to the situation. Her body warmed, her breathing increased. 

Gently rubbing in a circle on her clit at first, as she let her body respond with goosebumps as it was pleased by her own touch. She slowly turned her head to look at him and found his eyes focused on her, staring through her possibly, as he was entranced in what she was doing. He hadn't moved a muscle. 

She watched him as she gently moved down and slowly let her fingers dip into her. The heat from her sex washed over her fingers and she held her breath until she was firmly planted in her body up to her knuckle. 

"Move your leg so I can watch," he said interrupting her silence. 

She dropped her leg closest to him down and that gave him full view of her hand as her middle finger was into her sex. 

"Continue," he whispered. 

She slowly began to thrust her middle finger in and out of her. Her body bloomed with heat as she went. Her body responding to her touch in a positive way pushing the embarrassment from her. 

She gently went at her sex, thrusting her wet finger in and out in a steady pace, her hips lifting slightly to meet her hand. Her soft breathing becoming heavier as she pushed herself closer to orgasm. 

As it built inside of her, she began to lift her hips faster to her hand. Her free hand moved up to her nipples and gently tugged on them, pulling them hard for his eyes. She looked over at him and he was still motionless as he watched her. 

The only thing that told her he was pleased was his secret smile, it was on his face as she probed herself. The sound of her wet sex beginning to be heard by the two of them, explaining without words her excitement. 

Her little yelps of excitement brought out a bigger smile on him, when she was brought slowly to climax like she was doing now, she didn't moan. She made these little noises not quite a moan, not quite a yelp, but a pleasurable 'yip'. Something she was unaware she did until he pointed them out. She was embarrassed the first time she caught herself doing it but he assured her he loved it. 

Her 'yips' brought her eyes opened as she looked to him and saw that he was pleased, this egged her on to go faster with her hand, letting a second finger slide in as her ring finger joined her middle finger inside of her. Now her palm rested on her clit and that brought a second wave of pleasure to her, now she felt penetrated with her two fingers and her palm brushed her clit at the same time. 

Her hips increased their pace as she went, they gently rose off the table causing her back to arch as her head bent backward as she let her orgasm build. She wanted to cum but she wanted to keep her little show going for him as he was most definitely pleased with what she was doing. She could see it on his face. 

Now as her body urged her hand faster she had to keep it consciously from going too fast. She looked to him one more time, she left her head turned to him as her face reddened and her body shook as she held her breath until her orgasm hit forcing her to cry out softly as her cum leaked around her fingers. Her muscles in her stomach rippling with satisfaction as her orgasm claimed her. 

Her body released with its pleasure and the arch in her back disappeared as she laid flat on the table once again. Her fingers slowing as the squish of liquid filled the room as her cum slicked fingers pushed it out of her sex. Her breast heaved as her breathing caused them to rise and fall as her excitement faded as she pulled her fingers out. 

She held them up and they glistened with cum in the light. She looked to him and saw him staring at them with a smile. 

"Continue," he told her. "I want more." 

"More?" she smiled as she gently put her fingers back into herself causing the one word question to come out in a gasp. 

"Always," he said as he watched her. 

She continued to work herself, her body didn't take much to bring to another orgasm. Her body twisting as she came, her not so subtle cry in bliss surprised her. As was the copious amount of cum that came with it. She lifted her hips up as her orgasm forced every muscle in her body to contract at once, like a fist tightening then slowly releasing a crumple piece of paper, her body collapsed on the table with a thud. 

She looked to him and he gave her a wink of approval. 

"More?" she asked him under ragged breath. 

"More," he commanded. "But now I want you on the floor, ass facing me...up in the air." 

She eased from the coffee table and faced the window away from him, she bent at the waist and laid her face on the soft plush carpet of the floor. Now she was open to him, her glistening sex parted just slightly revealing her wetness to him. 

The ruby colored anal plug end glistened in the lamp. Her firm cheeks spread just slightly so he could see it fully. Reaching between her legs she eased her fingers back inside of her making herself whimper slightly. 

Her hand was wet from her last orgasm, he could see it glisten. He watched her fingers plunge in and out of herself now. No longer taking it slowly, no longer held back by her inhibitions of masturbating in front of someone. Now it was only about her pleasure, both what she was doing to herself, then the pleasure she was giving him by her show. 

Her third orgasm washed from her, around her fingers to drip slightly onto the floor beneath her. Her gasp held back by her biting of her lip. As she fingered herself in this position, the anal plug moved with her fingers bringing the sensations up a notch. The toy moving with her thrusts, slightly gyrating the toy in her ass causing her a second pleasurable point. She could feel the toy through her soft, thin walls inside her sex and that turned her on another one hundred degrees she felt. 

"I want your fingers," he told her when she looked back at him from her face down position on the carpet. "Careful to not wipe any of your delicious cum from your fingers." 

She pulled her fingers out and held them up as she sat up, she turned staying on her knees and walked on them to him, splitting his legs to kneel between them. He took her cum coated hand in his. 

She watched him stare at her fingers, slowly he lowered his mouth on her ring finger and gently suckled it. His lips holding the entire finger in his mouth as he used his tongue inside to wipe the finger off. 

He slowly sucked the finger as he pulled it gently from his lips, nipping the end as he let it go from his mouth bringing a smile from her. He looked to the middle finger and slowly inserted it into his hot mouth causing her to hold her breath as he suckled it gently the way he had just done her ring finger. Pulling off all her cum from the digit before pulling it slowly from his mouth. 

His tongue slowly licked in between her fingers, gathering any cum that he might have missed from them. His tongue moving to her palm licking there as well which made her giggle slightly as it tickled for some reason. This brought a smile to his face. 

He continued to suckle her fingers with his mouth as his free hand slid down between them and found her wet sex causing her to jump slightly with sensitivity. His larger fingers disappearing in her had her gasping as she closed her eyes at his gentle intrusion. 

He began a long, deep thrust of his own fingers in her now, fucking her gently with his hand, all the while sucking on her fingers repeatedly, starting with her index, moving to her pinky as he sucked each one, while thrusting in her causing her to grunt under his manipulations. 

Her orgasm took control of her body, and forced her to rise on her knees as her body went rigid. Her mouth hung open as her soft scream of pleasure wouldn't come out until her cum washed from her body. When the liquid oozed out of her so did her whimper of pleasure as her body released its command of her muscles and she collapsed on her heels. 

She used her free hand to take hold of him, to steady herself as her head spun in a pleasurable dizzy twirl from her orgasm. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 22



"Are you ok?" he asked her. 

"Yes Sir," she smiled. "Just a little dizzy!" 

He nodded as he eased his fingers from her and brought one of them up to her mouth. She opened slightly as it touched her lips, he gently pushed in and she was reminded of the first time she enjoyed Gavin's hands. Watching Elizabeth suck the cum off his fingers that night. She smiled as he pulled the digit out and placed it into his mouth so he could taste the remnants of her cum and her saliva on his finger. 

"More?" she asked in between breaths. 

"More," he grinned. "Take my cock out." 

"Thank you Sir," she responded happily. 

Anytime she got a hold of his cock was a great time! She was addicted to it, needed it like air. As soon as his pants cleared his cock and it slapped against his belly, full and hard she had it in her mouth devouring it before even pulling his pants past his thighs. 

While she had his cock in her mouth she continued to pull his pants off, his lifting of his hips to help her, driving his cock deeper into her throat in an unintentional manner. Finally she had his pants off and her hands could work his shaft, one at the base, the other cupping his balls gently, holding them. 

Her head bobbed up and down, her lips pulled tight around his shaft. In the light of the nearby table lamp, he could see her saliva coating his cock. Her small hand fisting upward to meet her downward dropping mouth. Over and over she went, hand up and mouth down. Her off hand gently massaging his heavy balls. 

After a few minutes of her aggressive sucking he dropped his head back against the back of the couch, she tilted her eyes up to see it and smiled. Desired reaction attained, she slowed her onslaught. She lifted her mouth off when he lifted his head from the back of the couch. 

"More?" she asked him with a smile. 

"More," he nodded. "Stand up." She obeyed immediately and looked down at him as he took her by the hips and slowly turned her to where she was facing away from him. He gently positioned her and then tugged her hips down to sit in his lap, his cock pressing against her. She looked over her shoulder at him before taking hold of his cock in between her legs. 

Her hand guided his cock into her slippery depths as she slowly let her hips fall down, impaling herself on his rock hard shaft. When her bottom hit his groin she ground her buttocks there, twisting his shaft in her causing her to shake slightly in pleasure. 

He ran his fingers gently down her spine causing her to convulse visibly which made him happy. Her body was so receptive, they had been together months now and he was still amazed at how much her body responded to his touch. Whether it was his cock, his fingers, or his mouth. It made no difference. Whatever he used it caused her body to ripple like a pond being hit with rain, multiple ripples radiating outward with her pleasure. 

He lifted her hips up gently then brought her back down to a seated positon on his groin. Over and over he did this, his fingers digging into her hips slightly as the sound of their bodies meeting filled the room. Soon he didn't have to lift her, she was doing it on her own so his hands could wander freely, and they did. Up the smooth skin on her back, over her shoulders, down her arms and around her sides to cup her breasts. 

Pinching her nipples made her buck harder on his cock he found so he stayed there for a few moments, playing with them, pinching them from time to time. The force of her downward slap growing stronger and stronger as her body responded to his hands. 

"Oh, God," she hissed as he drove his hips up when her body stiffened and she found it hard to keep riding him because her orgasm was taking over her muscles. He took his own hips then and drove them up to meet her, forcing her orgasm to gush from her and it leaked down his shaft and his balls where her hand rubbed it into his skin, making them slippery. 

She leaned forward after her orgasm and her ass split to show him the toy still there. He smiled when he saw it and used his thumb on it to push the deep red jewel causing her to moan in pleasure. He pulled at the edges slightly and used the plug on her ass a little. Never pulling it out, but moving it while she rode him. 

Her legs began to shake and she knew this next orgasm was going to be strong. He let go of the anal plug and took hold of her hips forcefully as she was unable to continue her riding with her impending orgasm. He used her hips to lift and drive her on his shaft making her body shake as she came, her legs became useless as she just let him use her body like a doll. Her only motions were what he was making her do. She reached between her legs and felt his cum soaked balls and knew she had squirted on him. 

He took a fistful of hair and pulled her head up causing her neck to crane as he came forward and began to bite and suckle the sensitive spot between her shoulder blades. Now her mouth was open with every thrust and she moaned out at every drive of his cock. 

He stood slowly and pushed her to the floor, pushing her head down in a silent command she understood without a word. Her face rested on the floor, her ass in the air available to him. 

He hovered over her, his cock in his hand as he guided it into her from behind. He was now squatting over her, his cock reaching its maximum depths on his downward thrusts, his groin grinding on her ass, pushing the anal plug deeper as well as his weight pressed on it. This position allowed him to reach her deepest egresses of pleasure. In this position she was completely open to him. Her body at an angle that fit his body perfectly. 

With every slap of his groin on her ass now he used the weight of his body to push deep, causing her to grunt from the force. He took hold of her hair again and twisted it into his fingers causing her head to turn so he could look at her face as he pounded her from above and behind. 

Now her orgasms were coming faster, with little time in between, she was wondering if at some point it would just be one continuous orgasm! The increase in his speed told her he was getting close too. The control he had waning as his own animalistic pleasure from his orgasm taking over. 

She smiled. This was so fucking hot, to have him pounding away at her, losing control for a few moments as he let his wolf out. She couldn't stop him now, it was all about his pleasure at this moment, and her own was inevitable as he used her body to satisfy himself. 

"Turn over," he commanded as he pulled out of her. 

She obeyed immediately turning over to face him as he gripped his cock in his strong hands, he fisted it hard, his cum erupting from the small slit in the top of his head. The white stream shooting up and out only to succumb to gravity and fall to her, her face first, the hot sticky goo falling in a line from her hairline, across her nose to her cheek. The second powerful shot landing across her nose, her lips and chin. The rest falling down on her body, her neck and chest. 

His hand pumping his cock now, masturbating for her as he towered over her. She watched the pleasure on his face as his cum squirted, the way his eyes closed shut tightly as the first pleasurable burn of the first shot erupted from his balls, up the shaft before erupting like a volcano onto her. 

It wasn't until the after the second stream that he was able to open his eyes and looked down at her as he sprayed her with his cum. When he was done shooting the massive load on her he squeezed the shaft getting the last of his cum from it, she sat up quickly and put her mouth on it, taking the last bit into her mouth. 

He moved back from her as she looked down on her cum soaked body. She used her hands to rub his load into her skin, causing it to glisten. Her fingers pulling the cum from her face on her fingers and then into her mouth as she stared him down while he watched her with the utmost pleasure. 

He held his hand out to her and she took it as he helped her up, pulling her immediately into a passionate kiss, she tried to keep her cum sticky body off his expensive clothes but he pulled her tightly into his squeezing her passionately causing her to go breathless under his kiss. 

"God I love the way you look in my cum," he smiled as he broke his powerful kiss. "And I love the way you hold your breath!" 

He led her from the living room into the master bath, turning on the hot water in the shower he held her hand with one hand. She watched him check the water repeatedly to make sure it wasn't too hot. He liked it boiling hot, something she couldn't handle so he made sure it was set for her temperature, not his. 

Guiding her into the shower stall after him he began to kiss on her, her lips first after he washed her face gently with soap and water, then moving to her body. His hands gently washing the cum from her, as he lathered her in soap. 

Soon her body was clean and fresh, the only remnants from his lovemaking was the ripples of goosebumps his hands were now causing. 

Kneeling in front of her she looked down at him perplexed at what he was doing, he reached over and pulled her razor off the shelf. Taking the shaving cream he coated her legs with white foam before gently, lovingly shaving her legs for her. 

God she loved this, this pampering he did after their sex. Sometimes it was showering her. Sometimes it was a massage. Sometimes it was just gently snuggling her. It always happened. She thought in the beginning it was just something he did to impress her, she thought it would fade in time, but it didn't. He always pampered her after. Always. 

Now he was shaving her legs, something that made her shake her head. Another first for her, her lover shaving her legs. Once he was done with one, he went to the other. Setting her foot on his thigh as he worked. Gently lathering her leg before using the razor to pull the cream and stubble from her. 

Once he had inspected both legs and they were to his satisfaction he lifted her foot and suckled her toes in his mouth causing her to giggle at first then gasp as he suckled each and every toe. One foot, then the other. 

He set them both down and squirted some more shaving gel from the can into his hand. He gently placed it on her pubic hair. She spread her legs at his nudge. He took the razor and with great determination and gentleness, carefully shaved her sex. He left her 'landing strip' as she always maintained it. Shaving to the sides of it, carefully shaving the outer edges of her sex, careful not to nick her with the razor. 

Once he was done he guided her into the water and let the water wash the leftover shaving cream from her. He inspected his work carefully before giving it his personal seal of approval. His mouth on her sex causing her legs to shake. 

His tongue lapping at her lips, before pushing beyond them as he pushed her against the shower wall. He lifted her leg and placed it over his shoulder, her hands on his head for both balance and encouragement. Guiding him deeper in her. 

His magical tongue elicited one more orgasm from her, nearly causing her to collapse in the shower due to being on one leg like a flamingo. It wobbled with her cum. He came up to her and kissed her lips. 

"You are absolutely, positively, the most delicious meal I have ever eaten," he smiled against her lips. "And I have eaten all over the world in some of the finest restaurants that can be found!" 

*** 

The next day they stood in front of her car as the mechanic came to them. 

"Well Curt?" Gavin looked to him. 

"Well, it's not your Aston Martin," Curt laughed. 

"Is it safe to drive?" Gavin asked joining him with a laugh. 

"Eh," Curt shrugged. "Depends on how dangerously you want to live your life! It's in serious need of some repairs." 

"Like?" Gavin asked looking at Alex. 

"Well," Curt rubbed his jaw. "Head gaskets are shot, suspension is non-existent. Brakes need massive overhaul, it won't be too long before you are sticking your foot out the door to stop like Fred Flintstone. It's leaking oil from...well just about everywhere." 

"Would it be easier to ask what's good about it?" Gavin laughed as Curt did. The only one not laughing was Alex. 

"Well, that list would be shorter," he smiled as he stopped his laughing because of the look Alex was giving them. 

"Curt," Alex said slowly. "I know Gavin wants me to buy a new car, but I can't afford that right now! How long will it last?" 

"Well that's the thing," Curt shrugged. "It's a damn VW! It could last a week, a month or forever! These things are really tough to kill...but when they die it's usually in a blaze of glory. I don't mean that literally, it's not going to blow up or anything, but she is going to need a lot of money put into her to save her." 

"How much?" Alex asked him. 

"More than she is worth," Curt told her apologetically. 

"Shit!" Alex barked. 

"Ok, she is not going to budge, she is stubborn as a mule," Gavin said looking at Alex. "What needs to be done right now? Like before we take her." 

"That's just it Dr. Steward," Curt explained. "It's an all or nothing thing. You could dump a couple grand in her doing a litany of things, but it could still die tomorrow! My suggestion...," he was looking at Alex now. "Trade her off while you can. Take the hit on a car payment." 

"Thanks Curt," Gavin smiled victoriously. Curt nodded and walked away. "See?" 

"No," Alex said stubbornly. "What kind of trade in am I going to get anyway? I say we drive her till she dies!" 

"Jesus Christ!" Gavin said to the ceiling of the garage. "Why won't you let me help?" 

"Because," she said trying to keep her temper in check. She could see the anger in his eyes and knew he was getting real tired of her stubbornness. She had to come up with a good reason or this would be a lost fight. 

"You pay the rent, utilities and food for me already. You have bought everything else! Let me at least try and keep some of my pride!" She pleaded. 

"What?" Gavin turned on her. 

"I feel like a fucking mooch!" she told him. "Between Lena before and now you, I want to have some say in my bills! I don't want to be taking hand-outs all my life!" She watched him shake his head. She could read it on him. He was about to assert himself, something she was surprised he hadn't done already. 

"Who paid for Elizabeth's car?" Alex asked him trying to come up with another argument to help her case. 

"She did," Gavin admitted. 

"Did she pay any of the bills at the condo?" Alex asked him. 

"No," he said turning to her. 

"Ok," Alex nodded. "Then let me at least pay for my car like she did." 

"She had a job," Gavin said as softly as he could. 

"Now, so do I, at least temporarily," she pointed out. "Let me put some paychecks away then I will buy a decent car." 

"Why can't I just loan you the money now, then you pay me back?" Gavin asked her. 

"Because I know you, you wouldn't let me pay you back!" she smiled and pointed at him when he covered his smile with a hand. "See?" 

"What a pain in my ass you are turning out to be!" Gavin growled as he walked away headed for his car. "Should have let Pavy steal you! Let him deal with the headaches! He deserves them!" She laughed. She was starting to get used to getting her way. 

She looked to her dilapidated car. 

"Rabbit, don't fail me now!" She begged openly. "The last thing I need is an argument or an 'I told you so' speech from him!" 

*** 

"So," Gavin smiled at her. "How was your first day?" 

"Awesome!" Alex gushed nearly bouncing out of her seat. The smile she wore almost lit up the room. "Oh my God those kids are so great! They love art! They love to paint and they are so enthusiastic about it!" 

"That's great!" Gavin said with a smile. He finally relaxed, the old Alex was back. The quick smile. The laughing eyes. All of it. All of what he adored about her was in full view again. 

She was radiating happiness and that made him very happy. She had lost the doldrums of the after wall high. The semi depression of working so hard on something then having nothing all of a sudden. 

"Any potential Alexandria Laskos in there?" he smiled. 

"A couple!" she smiled that he thought so highly of her. "There is this one girl, a freshman, the girl can draw! Oh my, I saw some of her work! Spectacular!" 

"Awesome," he smiled. "So what do you have on tap for them?" 

"Well," she twisted her lips in a thought. "Right now I've just got to find out who my artists are and who are just there because they are forced to be there! So we are just doing open projects. Some paint, some draw. I have a couple modeling with clay." 

"Sounds like fun," he praised. 

"Yeah, I hope they like it as much as I think they like it!" Alex gushed with happiness. 

"So when can I come down and see what you do for a living now?" he asked her. 

"Well," she kind of hesitated and her face made him frown. "I want you to come down, but give me some time with them first. I also don't know how the administration would like for their sub having visitors." 

"I see," he frowned. 

He really wanted to see her working. He found he missed that a great deal himself. The part that few got to see. Something he admired from the bench and it took a few days before he realized he was staring and enjoying watching her work. 

"Well," he smiled when he saw the concern on her face that she had angered him. "Just remember, you are my sub, and while I'm temporarily violating an absolute by sharing you, you are still mine." 

"Yes, Sir," she smiled happily that he was teasing her again. It meant the fight was off. She also knew it wasn't gone. Just temporarily put on hold. She wondered what he was waiting on. It was obvious he was waiting on something, she just didn't know what. 

There were times that he would start to say something then back off, with a set of tight lips like they were holding back the words. He wanted to say something, but thought better of it. He was studying her now anytime they talked. He was just waiting, the question remained was, what was he waiting for? Something for her to figure out, when she asked about it he would just shrug. 

*** 

After the third week, Gavin thought it would be safe enough for a visit. He had asked her to come down earlier but she asked him to wait until she had her ducks in a row. Today he was going to surprise her by bringing lunch to her. He didn't know how this would go over but he was here now. He had a good idea as to why she was stalling. It had to do with the armed man by his side. His gun on his hip, in a school. Something he couldn't really comprehend. A school should be the safest place on earth, but this one had armed security. The security man by his side was alarming at first. It reminded him of the danger that lurked on the south side. 

"Here you go Dr. Steward," the large burly man said to him. "Miss Lasko's room." 

"Thanks," Gavin said looking in the little window in the door. He saw Alex working with paints with a young African American girl. The girl was watching Alex intently as she showed her something with the paints. Alex working patiently with the young girl, showing her a technique to be used in her work. 

Gavin quietly opened the door as to not disturb the class, but it didn't work, as soon as the door opened all eyes turned to him. 

"Hey!" Alex beamed when she saw him. 

A part of her was also concerned. It meant he was escorted down here by the security guard as no one was allowed access to the building unless they were escorted by security. A measure to keep gang influence on the outside, a measure to keep drugs on the outside. A measure to keep danger on the outside. A measure to keep the kids safe on the inside! 

Would he go ballistic? Would he tell her this job was now over as his protective wolf would come out. She had seen both. She had seen the sexual wolf, unbridled and loose on her. The protective wolf was there as well. Just as passionate, but at times, just as dangerous to her. Never to harm her, but to protect her like a mother would protect its young. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 22



"Hey," he smiled back as all the kids inspected this stranger that invaded their little world. 

"Everybody," Alex smiled. "This is Dr. Gavin Steward. This is my man!" She said with a soft laugh with the girls around her. 

"Dr. Steward," she smiled. "This is my honors high school art." 

"Hello everybody!" Gavin said awkwardly. 

Alex looked up at the clock and realized it was late. 

"Ok," she said loudly. "Everybody needs to start cleaning up, and get ready for your next class!" 

There was a collective groan from the class which made Gavin smile. It meant they really liked this class! That made him happy for Alex. She, again, was making a difference with her art. Something he had to make sure she continued doing, just for the sake of her. 

"Talia," Alex said to the young girl at her side. "Just leave it here for now, I'll put it up when the paint dries." 

"Can I just stay here, you know, to keep working? I can just get it done!" Talia countered. 

"What do you have next hour?" Alex asked her thinking about it. This was a girl modeled after her. The same talent, the same desire, the same stubbornness! 

"Algebra," Talia said, with a dripping despise that couldn't be missed. 

"Algebra is a pretty important class, if you had a study hall or something I would be ok with it, but I'm not letting you skip Algebra," Alex said sympathetically. 

"But Miss Lasko, I don't need that math! It's like totally unimportant!" Talia argued. Gavin made it to them and looked at what Talia was working on. He nodded appreciatively. 

"Dr. Steward," Alex laughed at her, seeing a lot of herself in the young girl. "You want to explain just how important Math is?" 

"It's not," Gavin teased as he leaned in to inspect the painting before him. "I never use it, it's a complete waste of time. She should stay and finish. If she is anything like you she won't be happy and will make everybody around her miserable until she finishes her project." 

"Not helping!" Alex warned him. 

"Wasn't trying to," Gavin chuckled. "It's quite good Talia!" He complimented. 

"Thanks!" Talia beamed. 

"Talia if she starts to become a pain, just ask her about the time she had this huge project for the city three quarters of the way done and decided to start over. Then her twelve hour days working became sixteen. There was nothing but the art! Everything...and I mean everything took a back seat. Her health, her friends, her family...all were less important than her desire to finish her art project. So she should know how you feel and should be a little more empathetic!" 

"Gavin," Alex warned with her voice. 

"Just saying," he shrugged and winked at Talia. "Besides, with talent like this...she doesn't need math." 

"The heck she doesn't," Alex warned him, her eyes flashing at him as her own protective wolf came out. Something he loved to make her do, switch. "She is going to be the first person in her family to graduate high school! End of story! So math gets done!" 

"Miss Lasko, you can be such a pain sometimes!" Talia whined as she went to gather her books. 

"Try living with her!" Gavin teased. 

"Nice to meet you Dr. Steward," Talia waved. "And thanks for trying." 

"Anytime Talia," Gavin smiled. "Keep working hard, you are very good!" 

"I have a great teacher," Talia said as she waved and left. 

Gavin looked at Alex who seemed stunned at the compliment. Her mouth hung slightly agape as a slight watering of her eyes were visible. 

"First time?" Gavin smiled touching her face. She couldn't do anything but nod. 

"You have them hooked," he smiled as he kissed her cheek. "The massive groan they gave when you told them to get ready for their next class tells me they love being with you!" 

*** 

"I just don't know what to get him!" Alex complained to Lena as they were walking through the hallway of the mall, the Christmas carols playing over the speakers loudly. 

They were walking through the shopping center, trying to come up with Christmas gifts. They had bought for everybody else, but Gavin was proving to be a difficult task. 

"Well, what did he tell you he wanted?" Lena asked her as they turned into a department store. 

"He didn't!" she complained. "He said he had everything he needed!" 

"Well," Lena shrugged. "Maybe he does?" 

"So what? I'm supposed to get him nothing?" Alex scoffed. "I know he already has my gift!" 

"Look," Lena held up some ties. 

"The man has about a bazillion ties!" Alex complained with a shake of her head. "And a tie is something you give your dad...not the man you love!" 

"Agreed," Lena frowned putting the tie back up. "Well if we had an idea of a hobby or something!" 

"I know, right? What does the man do for fun?" Alex growled. 

"He fucks you from the sound of it!" Lena said with a playful nudge. 

"I can't give him the gift of fucking," Alex shook her head with her secret smile. 

"Why?" 

"Because," she said softly as she looked around before leaning into Lena confidingly. "I'm his sub...I don't get to tell him no!" 

"Like you would anyway you little slut!" Lena teased. Alex shrugged. "Why don't you just ask Madelyn?" 

"I did," Alex said shaking her head. "She didn't know either!" Alex looked around the department store. Her eyes landing on the jewelry counter. 

"What about a new watch?" Alex asked her. Lena shrugged, she didn't know why Alex was even asking her, if Alex and Madelyn didn't know, how would she? 

"Doesn't he have a good watch now?" Lena asked her. 

"He has several," Alex frowned, but she walked over anyway. 

A sales woman came over to help her. 

"Anything I can help you find?" the lady asked. 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "The perfect gift, for a perfect man who has everything!" 

"Hmm," the lady smiled. "That sounds like a challenge!" 

"He's impossible!" Alex frowned as she looked to the watches. 

"Does he need a new watch?" the lady asked pulling her keys out and opening the door. 

"Probably not," she frowned. He had several, he liked watches but she also knew he may not need one any more than she needed a new pair of shoes. The lady brought out a couple to show Alex. 

"These are Rolex," she said showing them to her. "Top of the line. What kind of watch does he wear now?" 

"He's got a Rolex," Alex said thinking of them. "He has a Bvlgari. He also has a Cartier." 

"Wow," the sales lady said appreciatively. "Very high end taste!" 

"Yeah," Alex frowned. "How much is this one?" 

"Twelve hundred," the lady told her like it was no big deal. 

"Seriously?" Alex gasped. 

"That's actually a bit cheap," the lady smiled. "If he has Bvlgari, that's about five to ten grand! The Bvlgari Diagono is sixteen grand." 

"Jesus!" Alex gasped. "Who needs that?" 

"It sounds like your man does!" Lena laughed, she stifled it when Alex glared at her that she wasn't helping. 

"If that alarms you, I won't tell you what the Cartier goes for!" the lady laughed as she put the watches up. 

"Really?" Alex asked but her face was in a wince. 

"Some are six figures," she smiled. 

"Holy shit!" Alex gasped. 

"I'm guessing that is more than you want to spend?" the lady asked. 

"Well if I had it, no problem," Alex shrugged. "But I teach art on the Chicago south side, not exactly a cash cow!" 

"Ahh," the lady smiled. "Well, he didn't give you a hint?" 

"No," Alex growled. "He said he didn't want me buying him a gift!" 

"Wow! What a typical man!" the woman said with a shake of her head. "Pain in the ass!" 

"Exactly!" Alex agreed, thankful she had an ally. 

The woman pulled a card out and began to write on the back as Alex watched her. 

"Look," she smiled as she handed the card to Alex. "This is a man's boutique shop. It only deals with high end men's gifts and clothing. It sounds like your, perfect man, has a defined pallet in terms of his style. Raul is a good friend, I send people to him when ladies like you come looking for their man but like every other man didn't help them. Raul is a man who might be able to help." 

"Thanks!" Alex smiled taking the card and looking at it. 

"I hope you find something he will love!" the lady said moving down to help another customer. 

An hour later they walked into the boutique the saleslady had written down. Alex and Lena looked around shocked. There were high end, thousand dollar suits everywhere. Shoes in the hundreds of dollars lined the wall. There were electronic gadgets in every nook and cranny. 

"Well," Lena shrugged. "This looks like where he buys his suits!" 

"Can I help you ladies?" a man asked coming to them. 

"We are trying to buy for an impossible man!" Lena laughed. 

"Well you come to the right place, we specialize in impossible," he smiled. "What can I interest you in?" 

"That's the impossible part," Alex frowned. "He wouldn't tell me." 

"Ah," the man nodded knowingly. 

"Well, does he shop here?" the man asked. 

"I don't really know," Alex admitted. "I never really asked where he did his shopping! He takes me shopping all the time, and a lot of the places he takes me looks a lot like this!" 

"Ah," the man nodded again understanding. 

"His name is Gavin Steward," Alex told him not thinking he would know who he was. 

"Dr. Steward," the man smiled. "Yes, he shops here. Religiously." 

"You know him," Alex smiled sensing an opportunity. 

"Very well," he nodded. 

"Any idea what I can get him for Christmas?" Alex begged. 

"Dr. Steward," the man said guiding her to the jewelry counter. "Well he's like me, a watch man!" 

"Ok," Alex began her warning. "I can't afford the type of watches he wears! I'm an art teacher!" 

"I see," the man smiled. "Well it's a good thing he has all the watches he wants then." The man pulled out a large black box. He began opening the lid then the doors on the inside pulling drawers out. 

"This is a Berkeley watch box," he smiled. "It's made of Macassar Ebony, it has plenty of storage. The interior is made of fine crimson faux suede and Italian leather. Sterling silver knobs accent the box that holds up to fifteen watches. On the side it has easy access compartments for cuff links and smaller jewelry." 

"Wow," Alex smiled looking at it, her fingers brushing its dark wood gently. "It's beautiful!" 

"It is," he smiled. "We also just got it in, as soon as I saw it I thought of Dr. Steward." 

"You're kidding me?" Alex asked dubiously. She thought this was some sort of sales pitch. 

"No ma'am," he smiled. "Dr. Steward was looking for a new box as he has outgrown his old box. I told him I had a couple coming in. This one in particular interested him from the catalog. Which is why I ordered it." 

"Really?" Alex asked him getting excited. 

"I could only order one," he explained. "They are on backorder, see these boxes are handmade. Every piece you see is hand done, the sliver...the stitching, the fine engraving. All of it. Only the best materials, only the finest craftsmanship. This is what every man, who owns top of the line time pieces, should own." 

Alex looked to Lena with an excited smile. 

"It's perfect!" Alex told her. 

"Yeah! Especially if it was one he was looking at anyway!" Lena smiled. 

"If I bought this you couldn't tell him about it!" Alex warned. 

"Miss," the man smiled. "It wasn't supposed to arrive until after the first of the year. I told Dr. Steward to check back with me then. I was flabbergasted when it came in. I was going to call Dr. Steward today as a matter of fact!" 

"Ok," Alex grinned. "How much?" 

"Thirty seven hundred," he said softly. 

"Holy shit," Lena gasped. "For a box to keep watches?" 

"Yes," the man nodded with a laugh. "It's crazy, but keep in mind, this box is for men who have five and six figure watches. It's also made from Diospyros Celebica tree, which only comes from Southeast Asia, and is very hard to come by! So four thousand is nothing." 

"It is for an art teacher!" Lena said shaking her head looking to Alex. "You're not thinking of buying it!" She saw the smile on Alex's face. 

"It's perfect," she smiled. "It is so Gavin!" 

"It's four thousand dollars!" Lena warned. 

"Yeah," Alex frowned. "I would have to hit the savings, but I can get it." 

"The savings for your car?" Lena asked. "And just how pissed is Gavin going to be when you do that?" 

"He won't know!" Alex smiled. "By the time I give it to him I will have replenished my account!" 

"Baby," Lena shook her head. "He will be furious!" 

"But it's so perfect!" Alex pleaded. "I want it." She looked to the man. "Can you hold it for me until tomorrow? I have to go to the bank." 

"Of course!" he nodded. "You're right, this is Dr. Steward. The man takes pride in everything he owns, this will be perfect for him!" 

"Thank you!" Alex smiled touching the box again. "He will be stunned!" 

"I guarantee it!" the man said pulling the box back and taking it into the back. 

Alex was sitting happily in bed, the TV on when he came home. She had her kids art sketches in her lap as she graded them. He smiled at her as he came into the bedroom. He went over to his dresser and started taking off his watch. She looked over at him from the corner of her eye. He carefully put his watch in and then laid us cufflinks on a tray next to his watch box. She grinned. It was about to become an old watch box! 

She had pulled the money out and bought the box today after school. She was giddy about it as she played with it at her old apartment. Lena would only shake her head and warn her that he was going to be livid when he found out she spent money that she should have been saving for her car. 

She had argued that her teaching gig was about up as the art teacher would be back from her maternity leave after the Christmas break so she wouldn't even need the car on a regular basis anyway! 

"That's a worrisome smile," Gavin pointed out as he watched her in the mirror. 

"Is it?" she smiled broader now. She was picturing his face when he saw the box. "I can't look at the man I love and admire him?" 

"Yes, but that smile is different than the one you just had," he pointed out. 

"I found your Christmas gift!" she blurted happily. 

"I thought we agreed you weren't getting me anything?" he said turning to her. 

"No," Alex shook her head. "You said you didn't need anything...I found something I think you need!" 

"Hmm," he said with a frown. "Perhaps I should have worded it differently. What I meant to say was...," 

"You can't change what you said now!" She stopped him. "You measure your words very carefully! Therefore I'm going by what you said originally, no changing your mind now. Choose your words better!" She laughed. He nodded appreciatively as he was beaten again by the beautiful woman in his bed. 

"I hope it wasn't too expensive?" he attempted to ask. 

"It was a lot less than I wished I could spend on you!" Alex smiled going back to her grading. 

"Hmm," he said making his way for the bathroom. Her soft coughing stopped him. He came back out. 

"That's getting worse," he pointed out coming to the bed and sitting down. She had tried to keep it from him, now the worry would begin again. The overprotectiveness would begin again. When she first got the slight cough he wanted to run her to the hospital to do a variety of tests on her. But he was right, she was getting worse, but she was so busy right now. 

"It's fine!" she said with a roll of her eyes. 

"I warned you to get your flu shot," he said as he felt her forehead. "Teachers always get the worst bugs, dealing with kids and the billions of germs they come in with, it's a fact of life for a teacher." 

"How would you know?" Alex smiled as he continued his examination of her. 

"Like your father, my mother was a teacher, elementary school," he said feeling her glands in her neck. "They are a bit swollen." 

"I feel fine," she assured him. "It's just a little cough." 

"Not with swollen glands, that's an infection," he countered going to his med bag and pulling his stethoscope out. 

He came back to her and pulled her forward to listen to her breathing. He put the cold end on her back and she flinched which caused him to smile. 

"Do doctors put those things in the freezer or what?" she complained. 

"Deep breath," he responded not answering. She complied. 

"Again," he said moving the instrument. She inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled. 

"Again," she rolled her eyes as he listened. 

He pulled back and flipped the stethoscope around his neck, and took her pulse. 

"You have fluid in your lungs," he frowned. "You need to take a couple days off and rest." 

"Can't," she laughed at the idea she could just stop everything and take a sick day. Like he would? No he wouldn't! "I just need to tough it out, we are almost done." 

"Look, I'm not kidding around here," he warned her. "You get worn down and this will get worse!" 

"The kids need me!" she said with a shake of her head. 

"Your health needs you too," he countered. 

"I'll be fine! It's just a little cough!" she said. 

"I'm a fucking doctor!" he said exasperatedly shaking his head. "Don't tell me what I know and what I don't know!" 

She leaned forward and put her arms around him. Time she used her womanly wiles she thought to herself. 

"Really," she smiled with a flick of her eyebrows. "I think you have what I need to make me feel all better!" 

"You're right I do," he said firmly pulling her arms from him. "I have an antibiotic and seventy two hours of bedrest for you." 

"What?" she asked, disappointed that her plan was so quickly defeated. 

"You don't rest, this will turn into pneumonia," he warned. "If it does, I'm going to be pissed beyond belief!" 

"I'll be fine!" she said again. She tried to put her arms around him again. 

"Absolutely not!" he said firmly. "You want to fuck around and get sick, I don't have to help. You need your rest. So I'm giving you a shot of antibiotics and a sleeping pill. Maybe, just maybe with rest and meds you won't get sick. But without proper bedrest to let your body fight it off, I'm guessing it will get worse." 

"So you are cutting me off from sex?" she gasped. 

"Yes," he shrugged. "You need your rest, so if you won't take time off from school then you have to at least promise me no running around outside in the cold. When you are home you are here in bed resting." 

"You can't cut me off from sex!" she whined petulantly. 

"I can do anything I want to...I'm not sick," he said firmly. 

"That's bullshit!" The words made him stop at the door and hit her with his hard eyes. The look that warned her she went too far. She lowered her eyes. 

"Better," he said when she said nothing more. 

The cough was bad all day in school. Several of the teachers encouraged her to go home. A sub could be called. Call a sub for a sub, she gasped? She would wave them off saying Gavin had her on an antibiotic and she was feeling better. Which was a lie, she wasn't feeling better! She was feeling worse, no not just worse, horrendously worse! She had the art show for the kids coming up and she didn't want to put the kids behind for that. 

She walked out to her car that evening, just as the soft drizzle of sleet began. 

"Just great!" she said in her cough. "That will help my cough!" She shook her head and got into the car just as her phone chimed. Starting up the car took several attempts, forcing her to beg the car to start and it did...finally. The heater she turned up to full blast as she was shivering. 

Pulling her phone to her, it was Gavin, sending a text that he was with a patient in the hospital and would be home late. She frowned. Well at least it would afford her the time to finish her grading. He was forcing her to bed every night now early. No work, what was worse was that he was serious about the no sex. He hadn't touched her in days! 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 22



Pulling the car out it sputtered and almost died, but then surged and took off. Her heart was beating fast from the idea that the car was about to die. 

"C'mon don't fail me now!" she pleaded. 

Sitting at a stop light she felt the vents and the heater wasn't warming up, the wisps of steam seeping out of her hood wasn't a welcome sign either. 

"No, no, NO!" she begged as her car began to sputter again. She felt the power steering go and she struggled to pull the dying car to the side of the road. She tried to start it several times before the battery wore out. 

She pounded her hand on the steering wheel looking around. She pulled her phone up and called the nearest tow truck company. 

"I'm sorry Miss," the voice said. "With the slick roads all our trucks are already on calls!" 

"Well how long?" she asked him. 

"It will be three hours at least!" he said sympathetically. 

"Three hours?" she gasped. The car was already freezing! The ice on the windshield was now a steady coat that made looking out of it impossible. 

"At least!" he said. 

"Is there another company?" she asked. 

"I'm sorry Miss, I'm sure they are all the same!" 

She hung up the phone and called Lena, but got no answer. She called the cab company but they weren't out because of the weather unless it was an emergency. Great! She said dropping her head on the seat. She wanted to call Gavin but he was at the hospital and she didn't want to disturb him there. The sound of the train made her look. 

"Well, at least the trains are running," she frowned. "I'll take the metro train and walk to the condo, it's only four blocks." 

She pulled her purse and started walking. The cold sleet hitting her in the face hurt. It felt as if a thousand knives were hitting her in the face causing her to wince with each stab. She pulled her scarf up over her nose but it didn't help much because it was getting soaked. Holding the half frozen material over her nose and mouth made it even harder to breathe. By the time she made the metro station she was soaked to the bone. The chill caused her to shake visibly. 

The warmth of the train couldn't penetrate the cold that had settled in her bones. It hurt it was so cold. The only thing she could think of was a hot steaming bath. She figured that would be the only thing that would be able to thaw her out and then it would take hours. 

Walking down the steps at the last stop, she had to will her feet to move. She was soaked head to toe, the sleet was relentlessly pounding her face, causing it to sting before going numb and then only the pain of the cold was there. Her hands hurt so bad she thought someone was crushing them in a vice and she could no longer feel her feet! 

The last four blocks to the condo seemed like four hundred. When she walked in the doorman gasped. 

"Jesus Miss Lasko!" he said coming around the desk. "Are you ok?" 

"The car picks today of all days to break down!" she said angrily as she shook her head. She went into a coughing fit because of her angry words. He held her with a steady hand. 

"You go on upstairs and get into a hot bath," he said to her guiding her to the elevator. "I'll call Dr. Steward for you." 

"God Mike, don't do that!" She begged. "He is with a patient at the hospital. The last thing he needs to worry about is his ditzy girlfriend with a cold!" 

She coughed again and bent at the waist. 

"That's more than a cold!" he warned her as he felt her waver under his hand. He thought she was going to collapse at any minute. 

"I'm fine," she smiled. "Nothing a hot bath won't cure. Plus, I'm home so I'll see him when he gets here." 

"If you say so," Mike frowned as she got on the elevator. 

She sat in the bathtub for over an hour and it never thawed her. She was still shivering. The Jacuzzi jets swirling hot water around her had no effect on her body. Her hands hurt and the cough made her throw up...twice. Gavin was going to be furious! She crawled into bed and pulled the covers up around her chin. Her shaking body in turn, shook the bed. 

The front door opened and closed with a slam. 

"Alex?" he called out. 

He came into the bedroom in a near run and saw her. 

"Jesus!" he said coming to her and feeling her head. "You're on fire!" 

"No, I'm cold...so cold!" she whispered. He took her temperature and frowned. 

"C'mon, we are going to the hospital," he said looking at it. 

"No, I just need to stay here," she begged. "It's so cold out there!" 

"I warned you!" he growled getting up and going to his bag and pulling out a syringe. He filled it with a drug. 

"I don't need your fucking 'I told you so' speech!" she barked back. Her temper easy to rile because she felt like shit. Gavin glared at her. The look made her cower into the bed. 

"You know what," Gavin said calmly. "I've had enough of your bullshit attitude!" He threw back the covers and yanked her over his lap and proceeded to spank her firmly like a petulant child she was acting like. His strikes coming fast and hard and she didn't have a chance to count them. 

After he set her ass on fire with his hand he grabbed the nearby syringe and stuck it in her ass cheek gruffly causing her to cry out in pain. 

"OWW! Shit that hurt!" she barked as he flipped her back into the bed and threw the covers over her angrily. "So much for your bedside manner!" 

He glared at her for the attitude and the remark. 

"I still haven't learned my lesson...if you are wondering!" she spit out at him crossing her arms across her chest. 

"Childish is not fuckable," Gavin warned her firmly. His eyes set hard in his face. 

"What are going to do? Spank me some more?" She dared him as he cocked his head at her. "I'm too sick to fuck, but not too sick to spank? How fucking twisted is that? Is that the best punishment you can come up with?" 

Gavin stared at her for a moment. Then let out a soft chuckle. Alex swallowed hard. The chuckle was not a good chuckle. The chuckle was downright scary. Now she shook but for an entirely different reason. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered her eyes blurring with tears of regret. 

"So you keep saying," he said softly. "But you are not changing." He used her words against her. Pulling back her past from the last party. 

"You think that spankings are the only punishment there is?" he asked her. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!" she said to him. He nodded. 

"That is not even remotely good enough," he told her. "Not even close." 

"I'm really, really sorry!" she tried again. 

"Go to sleep," he said firmly. "Now. Because I can't even look at you." He walked out of the room. 

"Holy fuck!" she cried out as she punched the bed. "Fuck, fuck, FUUUUUCKKK! Gavin I'm sorry!" she yelled. 

Whatever he gave her started to kick in and she got drowsy. The bedside lamp blurring in both her tears and the drug. Before she knew it she was out. Her last thought before succumbing to the drug was, how in the hell do I fix this?



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 23



Chapter 25 

The next morning Alex slowly opened her eyes, the room was still dark but she could tell the sun was coming up as it brightened the bedroom. She rolled over but Gavin was gone. She shook her head as she thought about the argument from last night. She felt his pillow and it was cold. She wondered if he had come to bed at all, his side was still perfectly straight and it looked unslept in. 

She pushed the covers off of her, and slowly sat up. As soon as she did the cough came up, forcing her to bend at the waist, as it overwhelmed her. The sharp burning in her chest took her breath away, the pain radiating outward as she coughed, forcing her to wheeze in between coughs as she desperately tried to bring in air. Her throat was raw from the abusive power of her coughs as it felt like her lungs were going to come up at any moment. When she got control of herself she tried to stand, her normally strong legs, shook weakly. 

"Back into bed," his voice commanded from behind. 

"I'm sorry," she said again turning to face him. She expected harsh eyes and angry facial expressions but instead found a firmness, but it wasn't anger. 

"Prove it," he said soundly. "Get back into bed for me." 

She nodded as she slid back beneath the covers without a word, and he helped pull them up around her chin. 

"I am sorry," she said again as he took her temperature. He said nothing, instead starting his exam of her. 

Pulling out his stethoscope he lifted her shirt and put it on her as he listened. 

"Gavin," she started. 

"Shush," he warned her. 

She closed her eyes. He was cold and unaccommodating. His demeanor, professional, like she was nothing more than a patient of his. Not the woman who lived with him. Not even the woman he fucked. His voice was cold, his mannerisms frigid and his eyes were like the North Pole, uninhabitable. 

This man that sat on the bed with her was not the same Gavin she was with normally. This one was robotic, his focus was only on his examination. His eyes never looked into hers, instead it appeared he was intentionally keeping them from her. 

Not the normal Gavin, not the Gavin she fell in love with, but then again, the fight that caused this demeanor, was her own doing. Her pride caused this. Her stubbornness caused this. Now the problem was, having never had any relationships that lasted past the first fight, she was uneducated on how to fix this. Fixing it was what she desperately wanted to do! Gavin went to his bag and pulled another needle out. 

"Gavin," she tried again. 

"Shush," he told her as he tilted a little vile of medicine loading the syringe. 

He came to her and helped her roll over. He did so gently and it was the first thing he did to her that was gentle and remotely loving. Alex felt the needle insert just above her cheek and she realized it was much softer than last night. Proving that last night was intentionally painful, by his choice. 

"What are you giving me?" she asked him. 

"You have pneumonia," he told her flatly. "I would love to take you down for x-rays but the weather is too bad to do so. I won't risk making this worse by taking you out in the frigid temperatures, so for now, we are stuck here. If you don't respond to this in the next twenty-four hours, I will be forced to take you, by ambulance if necessary." 

"I have school," she tried to tell him after she doubled over into a coughing fit, again her chest feeling as if it was on fire. 

"It was cancelled because of the weather," he informed her, shaking his head at her complete denial of how sick she was. "Not like you could have gone in anyway." 

"Gavin," she whispered as the drug started to make her woozy. "I'm sorry." 

"No, I don't think you are," he said softly with a deep exhale. "You're sorry that it has turned out this way. That you wound up sick. But you aren't sorry that you did it." 

"I sorry that I made you mad!" she explained drowsily. "I don't like that I disappoint you!" 

"I'm more disappointed in myself, than you," he told her pushing her hair off her forehead. "I let you do this to yourself." 

"You didn't have much choice," she whispered as she barely hung on to consciousness. Her eyelids feeling like five pound weights were on them. 

"Yes I did, but that's another thing," he nodded with a concerned frown. "Something to address when you are feeling better, but for now, try and not worry. When you are better, then we will hash this out." 

"So I haven't fucked this up beyond repair?" she asked him sleepily, her insides jumping up and down in happiness, even if she didn't have the energy to do so physically. 

"This was a lack of communication," Gavin assured her. "Both on your part, and mine. No, this is not broken, this is something for us to discuss so we can learn and make us stronger." 

"Us?" She asked, her eyes were impossible to keep open. 

"Not getting rid of me that easily, Little One," he smiled. 

She fell asleep as he stroked her face. She was trying to stay awake to talk to him but whatever he was giving her was putting her out. When she awoke again, Lena sat in the bed with her. 

"Told you he would be pissed," Lena said as she flipped the channels on the TV, not looking at her, her face just as angry and firm as Gavin's had been. 

"I haven't even given him the box yet," Alex told her as she turned over and tried to prop herself up. The coughing caused her to hang her head over the side of the bed in fear she was going to vomit again. She felt Lena's hand on her shoulder as she held her for comfort. 

"No, just wait until he finds out you spent four grand on that box and didn't buy a better car!" Lena warned her. "Especially now, since he found out yours broke down!" 

"Fuck," she gasped. "How pissed is he right now?" She had forgotten about her car and now that was surely going to bring another fight! She hadn't recovered from the first one yet. She turned over and faced Lena and pulled the covers up close to her face. The room still feeling like it was a refrigerator. 

"Um," Lena shook her head. "I'm thinking I have never seen anyone as pissed as he is right now!" 

"Fuck," she shook her head again. "What do I do?" 

"Pray he doesn't...," Lena stopped talking, and pursed her lips tightly to keep the words at bay and shook her head. 

"Doesn't what?" she asked her when she stopped talking. 

"End your relationship," Lena said softly looking at her, concerned at how that was going to hit her. 

"Did he say that?" she asked sitting up. "No he said we were just having communication problems!" Alex said remembering his soft words as she drifted off the day before. 

"Yeah, that was before the police called and told them about your abandoned car, something you neglected to mention to either of us! He then calculated how far you walked to the train, then from the train to the condo...he said it was no wonder you had pneumonia! He was livid last night!" Lena told her. Lena was angry as well, for Alex's stubbornness. 

"Do you know what could have happened to you? Did you know, that just one block from where your car broke down, three people were shot? One died? No, of course not! You're too stubborn to take in consideration the dangers! I would break up with your stubborn ass too!" Lena continued to rail making Alex want to hide under the covers that the two people she loved were so pissed at her. 

"Did he say it was over?" Alex asked her softly, thinking what he said before was just to placate her until she was well enough to end it. 

"No," Lena frowned. "It was his eyes that said it. He is worried about you, but he is also wondering if he can handle someone who won't let him close enough to help. If your pride won't let him take care of you the way he wants too." 

"What are you talking about?" Alex growled, tired of the lashing she was taking from her best friend. "I'm the one who said I loved him, to the world! He hasn't said it back!" 

"Just words," Lena said softly shaking her head in disbelief that Alex just wasn't getting it. "How many guys have said that to me, I can't count them, but they were just that? Words. Doesn't mean they are true! Actions mean more than words." 

"Make sense," Alex said rubbing her forehead, tucking herself back deep into the covers to fend off the shivers. 

"If you loved him, you would let him love you in the way he knows how!" Lena pointed out. "He shows it by spoiling you. By doting on you, by the little things he does!" Lena shook her head. "That man loves you, I can see that, even if you can't! I can tell by the worry on his face and by the way he does everything for you. You're so blind because you are looking for some stupid fucking words!" 

"I've had guys tell me the words but not the action," Lena told her. "You have a man who is showing you, but not saying it. I know the words are important, the whole verbal commitment and all, but if you weren't such a spoiled little brat, you would have heard him say those words each and every day! By what he does." 

*** 

She awoke with him pumping up the blood pressure cuff. He was staring at the gauge as she slowly released the air from the cuff. 

"Gavin," she attempted. 

"Shush," he said again, it was a fighting tactic that was really starting to piss her off. Her anger spiked and she hit full boil in record time. How was she going to make this right if he wouldn't let her talk to him? 

"No, I will not shush!" she barked out. "I want to apologize!" 

"What did you say to me that day?" He asked, looking at the ceiling as he removed the cuff from her arm angrily. "Oh yeah," he said with a cock of his head, he turned his angry eyes to her. "Go fuck yourself!" 

He got up and left the room and Alex could do nothing but watch him leave. The tears of pain falling, her bottom lip quivering as he smashed her with his heavy hammer of anger. 

Lena was standing in the doorway of the bedroom as he started to make his way by her, she touched his forearm in a comforting touch that he nodded at in appreciation. She went to the bed and sat down pulling her feet up and turning on the TV again. 

"Oh my God," Alex whispered. "This is it, isn't it?" 

"No," she assured her with a shake of her head. "I talked to him last night, he isn't thinking that. Lucky for you he is fantastic and not like most of the assholes that dot this planet, wasting valuable space!" 

"I know," she said turning over and taking Lena's hand. "How do I fix this?" 

"I don't know baby," Lena said laying down next to her. She gently stroked her friend's hair, looking into the watery blue of her eyes. "I've never had true love, so I don't know what it is like to have a guy that cares for me, more than himself." 

"I've so fucked this up, I don't know where to begin!" Alex said as the tear rolled down her nose. 

"You will figure it out," Lena assured her. "Not too soon, I hope!" She smiled and winked at Alex when she looked on her, shocked she would say such a thing. 

"I mean if you fix it, then I would have to go back to the apartment instead of this fabulous condo!" She teased. "With its indoor pool and sauna, super-hot doormen, and garage parking!" She fluttered her eyes closed like she was in heaven. 

"He has forced me to move in here, so we can take turns taking care of you. He refuses to let you alone by yourself for one second! He came over and picked me up, I don't think I had much choice either, his demeanor was so commanding!" Lena explained as she thought about when he asked her to stay with them for a little while. "So I have taken over your fabulous guest room. That way, if he gets a call, we can take turns taking care of you as you refuse to go to the hospital, you stubborn little bitch!" 

"If you are in the guest room, where is he sleeping?" Alex asked her with a soft laugh at Lena's response to her new living situation. 

"The couch from time to time, when he does sleep anyway," Lena said softly. "He doesn't want to crowd you in here, and he won't sleep with me!" Lena said with a wink that she was joking. 

"I don't like you that much," Alex smiled as she shook her head at Lena's teasing, it made her feel better to know that the anger was subsiding. Maybe in the near future she would be able to talk to Gavin and not suffer frostbite from him. 

"Mee-yoowwww!" Lena laughed. 

"Baby," Alex laughed with her. "You have no idea!" 

Alex laughed as she knew there was no way that Lena could know, that as a sub, they were also called kittens. So her remark was spot on in more ways than one. 

When Alex awoke the next day, the sun was brightly shining in her room. She looked around and there was no Lena. She sat up and for the first time it didn't cause her to spiral into a coughing fit that hurt throughout her chest. The cough was still there, but it didn't set her chest on fire! She eased out of bed and made for the door and that is when she heard the voices. She smiled, the two people that loved her. Whether she let them or not. 

She watched them from the door for a second before padding quietly out to the dining room. 

"Hey you!" Lena beamed when she saw her standing there. 

"Hey!" she smiled at her before turning her eyes to Gavin who stood to come over to her. He felt her forehead then her cheeks. 

"Fever is finally gone," he smiled with relief filled eyes, before he kissed her temple. She turned and attempted to kiss his lips, but he pulled away too quickly. 

"Just because your fever is gone doesn't mean you can go crazy and get yourself all worked up!" he cautioned her with a wink. 

"Yes Sir," she smiled dropping her head, the distance of a few inches felt like miles. Now he was not being angry, but there was definitely still some sort of invisible barrier he was projecting with is body language and tone. 

He guided her to the table and pulled her chair out for her, before he disappeared into the kitchen. 

"Len, do you want more?" he asked from behind the door. Alex easily recognized that the way he spoke to Lena was much less frosty than the way he was talking to her. 

"Jesus no!" Lena laughed. "I've gained twenty pounds from eating your fantastic cooking!" 

He brought Alex a small plate and she looked at it. She was starving for the first time in three days so she dug into her food ravenously. Gavin smiled with a nod, knowing that her appetite was a good sign. 

"You missed the crepes earlier!" Lena bragged. "I mean God damn, talk about orgasmic!" She teased quietly. 

"Hey," Alex said glaring at her. "That's my man you're talking about!" 

"I was talking about his cooking," Lena defended. 

"So was I!" Alex laughed. 

"We share everything else!" Lena pointed out with a fake look of shock and anger. "Make-up, apartment, clothes...everything! What's one more little thing?" 

"Uh, again, I don't like you that much!" Alex said firmly. 

Gavin sat at his end of the table and rolled his eyes at their playful banter, while taking a sip of his tea. 

"Gavin are you sure you don't have a brother? It looks like my best friend is going to be really selfish here and not share you!" Lena growled while she stared at Alex. 

"Sorry," he shrugged apologetically. "I'm an only child." 

"He's got a Russian friend who is as close as his brother!" Alex pointed out with a wicked little smile. 

"Really?" Lena smiled intrigued. 

"My God woman!" Gavin gasped shaking his head at Alex. "You really don't like her, do you? Pavy?" He turned his laughing eyes at Lena and shook his head. "Run Lena! That is a man you don't want any piece of!" 

"Trust me, it's been so long I don't care if he is a piece of shit, I would take him right now!" Lena laughed getting up. 

"Wait!" Alex stopped her with her hand. "What happened to Paul?" 

"Paul?" Lena frowned in question as she shook her head. "Paul is history." 

"When?" Alex gasped as she stood up. How could she not know her best friend had broken up with her boyfriend? 

"Three or four weeks ago," Lena shrugged turning and heading to the door. 

"Wait," Alex said going after her. Lena turned and faced her, her face told Alex she didn't want to talk about it. "Why didn't you say something?" 

"You were busy! Had the kids and all," Lena shrugged. 

"I'm never that busy!" Alex barked at her, her temper rising. 

"It wasn't important," Lena shrugged, arching her eyebrow at Alex's sudden anger, a soft smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. 

"Bullshit!" Alex growled. "You are important to me! So the things that affect you, affect me!" 

Lena raised her eyebrows more at her, with a question in her eyes that was easily readable, her smile coming out more as well. Alex read right into it. 

"That's not the same!" Alex defended that she was doing the same to Gavin. 

"Shall we ask him?" Lena asked coolly, crossing her arms across her chest. 

"Ouch," Alex frowned as the verbal slap from her best friend took her anger from her. 

"Listen baby," Lena smiled taking her into her arms, realizing she was probably being too harsh. "I know you think you can take on the world and all, but you can't. You were busy, and I knew all along Paul was never going to be my Gavin. So it ended, and I move on." 

"I should still be there for you," Alex whispered as she thought about all the selfish things she was doing. 

"You are," Lena said with a kiss to her head. "I'll see you tonight!" She said opening the door. 

"Good luck!" Gavin called from the dining room. 

"Thanks!" She called out to him, she then smiled at Alex one last time and closed the door. 

Alex put her head to the door and began to cry. Tears of guilt, not only for what she was doing to Gavin, but for not being there for her one and only true friend. This meant that during their Christmas shopping, Lena was dealing with a broken heart. Something she never noticed while they spent the day together. It explained why Lena didn't want to go shopping with her but Alex had insisted. Petulantly. 

She remembered going off on a rant when Lena said she didn't feel like going out, that she wanted to stay in and read. Alex wouldn't hear of it, nearly demanding that she come with her as she needed her advice. Alex also said they didn't hang out anymore and she wanted to do that now. 

Gavin's strong hands on her shoulders made her turn around instantly and disappear into his arms. 

"Oh my God! I'm a horrible fucking person!" Alex gasped as she gripped him tightly. 

"How do you figure?" he asked her softly, his lips in her hair, his nose inhaling her precious scent. 

"I missed it that she had broken up, I stomp around here like a spoiled brat not getting her way. Say some horrible things to the man I love...I won't let you help because of my stupid pride!" Alex told him in between sobs. 

Gavin said nothing he just held her and kissed her head repeatedly. 

"How do I fix this?" Alex asked him plainly into his chest as the scent of him filled her nose. 

"You know, I have been thinking of this for some time," Gavin told her guiding her to the couch. He sat next to her and she was afraid of what he was going to say, was he going to tell her that she should move on? Was he going to say they were incompatible? 

She tried to slow her heartbeat by breathing in and out as slowly as she could. All she could think about was that he was waiting for her to get better, so that he could end this relationship. Lena told her she had talked to him and we wasn't thinking that, but was that just to keep Lena in the dark of his true intentions? He stroked her face. 

"Relax," he told her softly, reading her panic perfectly. "You get to end it. I am a man of my words, although, I will say, you have pushed that to the breaking point." 

"I'm sorry," she tried again, but he stopped her with his finger on her lips. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 23



"Stop saying that," he told her firmly. "I get it, you're sorry. But sometimes saying you're sorry isn't enough...you know?" 

"Yes, I know," she said softly. 

"So, I have been thinking," he started again. "I love you here, I love the fact you are in my life, and there is so much to love about you." 

He came close to saying it, but didn't. He said everything but the three little words. She wondered just how important they were to her. Should she listen to Lena and just accept his action as the words? 

Lena was right, he said 'I love you' with everything he did. But if that was the case, then did he love every sub he owned? He said he did these things for all his subs, it was part of the lifestyle for him. So ultimately, no, she needed the words, if nothing else it was something he didn't tell anyone else. Well maybe one. The one who broke his heart into a million pieces and may never be repaired. 

"How do I fix this?" she asked him. 

"That's what I'm trying to tell you," he smiled. 

"It can't be fixed?" Alex said softly. 

"Everything broken can be fixed," he smiled with a shake of his head. 

"How?" she pleaded. She was desperate to fix this, desperate to turn back the hands of time and go back to where they were just laughing and fucking. 

"You need to do something very specific," he said softly. "I was kind of waiting for you to realize it, but then all these wonderful things started happening to you so I knew it would be difficult to see with the tidal wave of new responsibility. What with the wall, then your mini depression, then the kids. I understood why this didn't come to the surface much earlier." 

"What? What didn't come to the surface?" Her voice begged for the knowledge, all she cared about right now was righting the wrongs of their relationship. 

"That's just it, I know I'm supposed to teach you, but some of that also requires me to know when to just tell you and when to let you make your own discovery. This is one of those times. This knowledge will be better suited for you to seek out and learn." 

"What?" she asked, the pain in her voice causing it to break. 

"I could tell you, we could move on, but I think this is better suited to you learning on your own. That way it sinks in and takes root. I have thought about this and this is very important for you to do on your own," he said taking her hand. 

"I know what you want, you want to fix this, but what you need is knowledge. Knowledge that is out there for you to find, and sometimes knowledge that is learned the hard way is the stuff that sticks," Gavin explained patiently, even though her hurt and bewildered eyes had him second guessing himself. 

"What if I can't figure it out?" 

"Look," he began carefully cupping his hands around her face to make her look at him, before he dropped them to take her hands in his. "One of two things are going to happen," Gavin told her looking down at her hands as he held them. "One, you figure it out and everything gets better with your epiphany." 

"And the other?" 

"You leave me," Gavin said so softly she barely heard it. But she did hear it and she wanted to un-hear it. She didn't even want to think about it! 

"I'm not leaving!" she said firmly, shaking her head to double her denial. 

"Without this knowledge, our relationship will die sooner or later," he warned her. "I can be only what I am, it's all I know or want. You have to be who you have to be, sooner or later those two will clash and then we will both...be unhappy." 

"How do I even know what I'm looking for?" she asked him as he stood up. 

"I want you to think about what this lifestyle really is," he told her. "You haven't done something very specific, you think you have, but if you look closely you will realize you haven't. The only hint I will give you is, Lena has told you. She doesn't realize she has told you, of course, as she is not in the lifestyle, and you have agreed to her that I need to do it, but it seems we both need to do it. It seems we are both guilty of the same thing, only we are on opposite sides of the same mistake." 

"What?" she blurted totally confused. The last thing she needed was Gavin speaking in riddles. "That's absolutely no help at all! We've made the same mistake but on opposite sides?" He nodded. 

"Did you tell Lena what I need to do?" Alex asked him. 

"Of course not," he said with a shake of his head. "Our lifestyle is our business, obviously she knows we are in a BDSM lifestyle from you, but no, I don't discuss it." 

"Sorry," Alex said embarrassedly. She knew he was a very private man, she also never asked how he would feel about her telling Lena. 

"We are best friends. She was right, we share everything," Alex attempted to explain. 

"I don't mind who you tell," Gavin told her with an accepting shrug. "I, personally, would prefer our life be ours, but I'm not embarrassed of our lifestyle. I'm just a private man." 

"Yes, Sir," she nodded. "Can you at least point me in the right direction?" 

"I would see people who know our lifestyle," Gavin told her as he stood in the doorway leading to his office. "See how they are in their lifestyle and compare it to yours. Just keep in mind, Lena has already told you what you need to know...I heard her say it in this apartment." 

*** 

Alex had her sketchbook on her lap, she was just doodling. Nothing coming to mind to draw, as her mind was occupied by what Gavin had said. How was she to learn something if she didn't even know where to look? How would she know if she did learn it? Would there be some sort of "ah-ha" moment? 

Lena walking in, without knocking, disturbed her thoughts, she smiled at Alex brightly as she came around the corner. 

"You have a key to our place?" Alex asked her as she sat down next to her with a plop. 

Lena looked at her curiously, "It's how I get in!" she laughed, which caused Alex to laugh. 

"What?" Lena asked her, her smile fading. 

"That's the exact thing I said, when my mother asked me about my key!" Alex remembered. 

"Bet that went over like a turd in the punch bowl!" Lena laughed. "Where's Dr. Stud?" 

"On a call," Alex told her. 

"Did you guys fight it out, then fuck and make up?" Lena asked her with wiggling eyebrows. 

"Yes and no," Alex frowned. "We discussed some things, not really a fight, but I feel like we fought. I'm exhausted and I feel horrible inside!" 

"What did he say?" Lena asked pulling Alex into a hug that it looked like she needed. 

"He said I need to figure something out," Alex told her from within her arms. "Something specific I need to do, but I haven't done yet. He says without it, our relationship will die." 

"Oh baby," Lena kissed her head consolingly. "What is it?" 

"That's just it," Alex whispered. "He wouldn't tell me, he said I had to figure it out!" 

"Did he give you a hint?" Lena asked. 

"Yes," Alex sat back and looked at her head on. "He says you told me here in this apartment! He says, he and I are guilty of the same mistake, but on opposite sides." 

"He realizes you are not Sherlock Holmes, right?" Lena teased, scrunching up her face in confusion. Alex shrugged not finding any humor in something that could end the greatest thing in her life. "What are you going to do?" 

"Ask Madelyn," Alex said firmly. "She should know, she is like Gavin's mother and closest confidant." 

"Ok," Lena shrugged. "Go." 

"I still can't leave the apartment," Alex frowned. "He says just because I'm feeling better, doesn't mean I am better!" 

"Good man," Lena smiled. "Too bad you are going to fuck it up, then I, the best friend, will have to swoop in and make him feel all better!" Lena continued to tease, acting dramatically like she was kissing him, then faking with her tongue and hand to her mouth imitating her giving a blow job. Alex laughed at her. 

"I have told you that I don't like you, right?" Alex glared playfully. 

*** 

"So," Gavin asked Lena as she sat at the table with them later that evening. "How did it go?" His smile told her he already knew. 

"I'm guessing you already know," she pointed out. "Otherwise you wouldn't have that little grin!" 

"Yeah," he shrugged. "But I wanted to give you the opportunity to brag." 

"Brag about what?" Alex asked them. 

"Your Dr. Stud here, got me an interview with Senator Danita Housley," Lena grinned. "Seems she was looking for a personal assistant, and Gavin recommended me!" 

"Seriously?" Alex smiled, looking at Gavin then back to Lena. "That would be great for you! It would get you out of that stupid insurance office!" 

"I know right?" Lena gushed. "I would get to go to Washington from time to time, I could see some of the rest of the country as well! All expenses paid, of course!" 

"That's awesome!" Alex gushed. "Did you get it?" 

"Ask Dr. Stud!" Lena smiled, pointing at him with her fork. "I was told she wasn't making a decision until Monday!" 

"Gavin?" Alex looked to him. 

"How would I know?" Gavin teased. "It's not like I had to see her today for her medical check-up or anything!" 

"Gavin!" Alex chastised he was being cruel in his joke about something this important. 

"Ok," Gavin relented. "She knows she got the job!" 

"I got the job!" Lena laughed with a vigorous nod. 

"Awesome!" Alex smiled happily. 

It was two days before Gavin gave her permission to leave the condo. Lena had gone back to the old apartment now as Alex didn't need round the clock care. When Alex got off the elevator Mike smiled broadly at her. 

"You're alive!" he laughed coming around the counter to see her. 

"Barely!" Alex laughed with him. "It was close there for a while, but my fantastic doctor pulled me through!" 

"I was beginning to wonder!" Mike teased. "Here he had this new girl coming in, this little hot chickadee!" 

"Lena?" Alex smiled. "She's my old roommate, evidently they conspired against me while I was sick, to take care of me in shifts!" 

"Hmm," Mike smiled. "I was beginning to wonder if Dr. Steward was going to collect all the beautiful women in Chicago for himself!" 

"Ohh," Alex smiled. "Got a thing for my best friend?" Alex remembered Lena's words about hot doormen, she knew Lena had to be talking about Mike, as the other two men were both in their mid to late sixties. 

"No," Mike shook his head, but it was evident by his smile that he was interested. 

Alex walked over to him and pulled a pen out from the counter. She wrote the phone number down to her old apartment. 

"There is her number," Alex smiled. "She is single, she just got out of a relationship though, but she might be ready for a date." 

"Really?" Mike asked in disbelief. "She's single?" Alex nodded and wrapped her scarf around her neck and face, hiding her smile. 

"Like I said, she is just out of a relationship, but hey, a date is not like marriage. It's just two people going out that need to eat...right?" Alex gently prodded. Mike nodded as he looked to the number. 

Hailing a cab outside, she took the long ride out to Madelyn's. She would start her search for what she needed to find there. Hopefully Madelyn would know right off so she could get their relationship back to the way it was. If that was possible.  

"There's my angel!" Madelyn smiled as she opened the door. "Alive and well!" 

"Hello Mistress," Alex said lowering her head. 

"Come in sweetheart, before he finds out I left you out there to get another cold!" Madelyn insisted. "Then he will be over here busting my chops about something other than my blood pressure!" 

"Know about that, do you?" Alex frowned. 

"Of course I do!" Madelyn told her, hooking her arm into Alex's and guiding her into the parlor. "The boy was just worried sick about you!" 

"I know," Alex frowned. "I should have just listened to him, but I was only thinking of the kids!" 

"I know," Madelyn beamed with a wink, showing she was not angry and understood why she did it. "But you are ok now, so maybe the horse's ass will get some sleep! I've been on him to sleep more but he can't." 

"And that's another thing," Alex started, stopping abruptly and forcing Madelyn to turn to her. "With all due respect Mistress...take your damn pills!" Alex said, her face firm but loving, her jaw set. 

She thought of the worry on Gavin's face when he complained Madelyn was not taking her medication. 

"We love you, and we want you to be around for a long time! That means, he can only have one stubborn bitch in his life. Right now, I have the monopoly on that, so you have to do what he says, take your pills!" 

"Oh my," Madelyn laughed at Alex's stance. "You are quite the switch!" 

"I'm sorry Mistress," Alex frowned. She realized she probably went too far. "But we do care about you, he loves you, so I just want him happy, and will do everything I can to make sure that happens. So if that means coming over here every day to make sure you take your pills, then so be it!" Madelyn nodded as she moved in and kissed Alex's cheek. 

"Yes, my lovely girl," she smiled. "I will take my pills!" 

After tea was poured and they talked about the weather, and Alex's class of artists, Madelyn sat looking at her. 

"Well," Madelyn smiled. "Why don't you get to why you came all the way up here, because I know it wasn't for my tea!" 

"No, Mistress," Alex smiled. She kept forgetting this woman was a Domme and could read her as easily as Gavin could. 

"I have angered him," Alex said softly. "He says there is something I need to do, but I don't have any clue as to where to begin!" 

Madelyn smiled and nodded as she put her tea down. 

"You know," Alex said immediately, reading the woman across from her. 

"I do," Madelyn smiled. "But alas, Gavin has asked me to stay out of it." 

"What?" Alex whined. "He can't do that!" 

"He can, and he did," Madelyn said with a smirk. 

"So you won't help me?" Alex asked her. 

"I will," Madelyn smiled. "But not now. He's right, this knowledge is best left for you to learn." 

"But you just said you would help me," Alex pouted, confused. 

"I will," Madelyn assured her. "I'm not going to sit around and let him fuck up the best thing that has ever happened to him because he is a stubborn jackass!" 

This got Alex to laugh. 

"But we want you to find it out on your own," Madelyn told her causing her smile to diminish. "If you can't, then I will help, but I believe you will figure it out. You are a smart, beautiful woman and I have no doubt you will figure it out and you will both be better for it!" 

"Can you give me a hint?" Alex asked her. 

"All kittens have one thing in common," Madelyn told her, after some thought, from behind her cup of tea. 

"And that is?" Alex pressed her. 

"What you need to learn," Madelyn smiled. 

Madelyn sent Alex back in her car with her driver, she refused to let her take the cab back. Alex sat in the limo looking out the window deep in thought. How was she going to figure this out? She was really hoping Madelyn would know and tell her, but just like Gavin, she was going to make her sweat it out. At least she had the knowledge that Madelyn was going to help her, if she couldn't figure it out. 

Her mind drifted to something else Madelyn said, that she wasn't going to let him 'fuck up the best thing that has ever happened to him'. This statement made her smile, Madelyn was on her side. She would be a powerful ally, if she needed her. 

She picked up her phone and scrolled through the contacts, her phone landing on Kelly's name. She didn't know a lot of subs in the life, Kelly was one, Elizabeth, was the other. She called Kelly. 

"Hello?" came the voice on the other end. 

"Hey, Kelly, It's Alexandria," Alex said in the phone. 

"Alex!" Kelly gushed. "How are you?" 

"I'm good! How are you?" Alex asked back. 

"I'm ok," Kelly told her. 

"I was wondering if you would like to have lunch with me today? I need some advice from somebody in the know," Alex said looking at the driver. 

She didn't know how much the driver knew, she assumed being around Madelyn he would know about the lifestyle but she wasn't sure so she kept it quiet. 

"Lunch?" Kelly asked. "Would love to! What kind of advice?" 

"Kitten advice," Alex said still trying to keep it on the down low. 

"You need my advice? You have the best Dom in the world!" Kelly pointed out. 

"I know," Alex agreed. "But he is the reason I have to seek advice, he wants me to talk to other bottoms to learn something." 

"Learn what?" Kelly asked. 

"The difference between me and you," Alex said with a shrug into the widow at her reflection. The girl in the widow looked just as lost as she felt, she also looked sick. She was surprised Gavin let her out knowing she still looked ill. 

"Ok," Kelly said slowly. "Sounds weird, but ok, is it alright if I bring some of the other girls?" 

"No, that would be great! I need to hear all I can!" Alex said excitedly at the prospect of multiple points of view. 

Maybe if the girls could help her, she wouldn't have to go to Elizabeth. Alex didn't want Elizabeth to know she and Gavin were having problems. Even though Elizabeth left and has a new Dom, Alex still feared her return. It was like Elizabeth was the ex-girlfriend and Alex had to be wary she would learn she made an awful mistake, and try to come back. She would use the division between Alex and Gavin to weasel her way back in and Alex wasn't about to let that happen. 

The driver opened the door and she got out. 

"Thanks," she smiled at him. "I'll take a cab from here." 

"Can't do that ma'am," the driver apologized. "I was told to take you home, so I'll wait." 

"But I could be awhile," Alex explained. 

"The Mistress said to wait, so, I will wait," he said firmly. Alex shook her head and then left him. 

Walking into the restaurant she scanned the patrons. Kelly waved from the back of the room. She was at a table with two other women. They must be the three subs Kelly's new Dom owned. She smiled and made her way to them. 

"Alex," Kelly said hugging her when she arrived. "Alex, this is Janna," she said introducing a blonde thirty something. "And this is Lauren," she said introducing a young, dark headed Asian with a bright smile. 

"They are subs for my Master, John," Kelly said sitting down with Alex. 

"So, you are Alexandria!" Lauren smiled. Alex nodded with a smile. 

"You lucky little bitch," Janna teased with a bright smile letting Alex know she was teasing. 

"I am," Alex nodded. "Both lucky and a bitch!" 

This got all the girls laughing as a waiter brought Alex a wine glass to share the bottle already at the table. The girls chatted amiably about current events, about the wall that they all had seen which made Alex blush with all the compliments they poured on her like the free flowing wine they were going through. 

"So," Kelly began. "How can we help you?" Steering the conversation back to what they were all there for. 

"Well," Alex began. 

She looked to the crisp white table cloth. Where does she begin? 

"Gavin and I have been at odds lately, mostly my fault, but now he says I need to learn something. He wouldn't say what, only to say that it is something every sub does, but I haven't done!" Alex explained never lifting her eyes from the table. 

When she did look up, she found all three girls with the same bewildered look. All three looked on her...waiting. 

"That's it," she said when they didn't say anything, as they were still looking at her like she had more to say. 

"Ok," Kelly said slowly, her brow showing her confusion. 

"I know," Alex admitted. "I guess I would just like to hear what your lives are like, then I will compare it to my life...somewhere, I hope, I will figure out what you guys have done that I need to do." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 23



"Well, Ok," Janna shrugged. She looked to Lauren. 

"What do you guys do for your Dom?" Alex asked her. 

"Whatever he wants," Lauren said with a shrug. 

"Well I know that, but when you argue, as that has been our current problem, how do you handle it?" Alex asked them. This would be a good place to start as they had been arguing a lot and she felt it was the root of their problems. 

"Uh," Janna snickered in disbelief. "We don't argue with our Dom." 

"Well, I mean when you have a disagreement, how do you solve it?" Alex laughed. 

"Uh, he solves it," Kelly smiled at her curiously. "You argue with your Dom?" 

"I mean, not like every day or anything," Alex defended as the three other subs looked to one another in shock. "You never argue?" 

"No, argument means immediate consequence!" Lauren told her firmly. "You should never argue with you Dom!" 

"What if you want to do something and he doesn't want you to do it?" Alex asked them. 

"Then we don't do it," Janna shook her head. "A true submissive doesn't argue! How do you not get consequences if you argue with you Dom?" 

"I don't know," Alex said looking to Kelly who shrugged. 

"Baby," Kelly shook her head. "You are a sub, your Dom makes all decisions. You aren't supposed to argue. Communicate yes, but never argue. Once your Dom makes a decision that's it, you accept it. You're just supposed to trust he is doing the best thing for you! When you decided to be a submissive, you gave up that part of the relationship!" 

"So I can't argue?" Alex asked them. 

"Well," Janna smiled. "Each Dom is different, but not generally. I mean, like Kelly said, communication is very important, and while the Dom makes the final decision, we can speak with him but in the end, we trust he is going to do what's best!" 

"I see," Alex frowned. "I'm a bit stubborn." 

"Like how stubborn?" Lauren asked. 

"He called me a mule once," Alex smiled. "I don't think it was a compliment." 

"How?" Kelly laughed as she couldn't comprehend how a sub was allowed to argue. "I mean, Honey!" 

"I know!" Alex frowned. That was a big difference. These girls didn't argue with their Dom? That is all she did, most dealing with the way he spoiled her too much, or doing what she felt she had to do. From the wall and her long days, to working on the south side, to her stupid car. 

"What do you argue about? Sex? Consequences?" Kelly asked seeing the despondent look on Alex's face. 

"No," Alex shook her head. "It's mostly about the way he spoils me, I want to make my way on my own, pay my own bills and stuff. Things like the way he tries to protect me, from my long days working on the wall to driving my car, to teaching kids in a dangerous neighborhood!" 

"Why?" Lauren asked. "Why would you argue about bills?" 

"I don't like handouts," Alex defended, her ire creeping up, causing her voice to sound defensive. 

"Ok," Janna smiled. "I get that, but you also need to know that every Dom does something for us that is a reward." 

"A reward?" Alex asked. 

"Well, Jesus, I've never had to explain it before!" Janna laughed. She was finding that it was difficult to explain. "Look, Master John is like my fifth Dom. I've had some pretty shitty Doms. I mean, they are Doms in the terms that they call themselves Doms! In reality all they are, are wannabes who want is a personal slave." 

"Isn't that what we are?" Lauren asked. 

"Absolutely not!" Janna defended. "We are in relationships, not your traditional relationship, but it's a relationship nonetheless!" 

"With any relationship," Kelly continued. "There is some give and take. How does Gavin reward you?" 

"He is always buying me things," Alex told them. "Clothes, shoes, jewelry." 

"No," Janna said with a shake of his head. "If he is like most good Doms, the clothing is not always one of the rewards. I mean it can be a reward, but not always. That is what he wants you to wear, so he buys them because he wants that worn." She explained. 

"Exactly," Kelly agreed. 

Alex nodded, that was something she remembered. He told her she couldn't wear anything he didn't approve. This made that possible because he bought it for her, she never had to question if it was approved, if he bought it. 

"Tell us about your scenes," Lauren asked her. 

"My scenes?" Alex asked her. 

"Well, when you are playing, whether he ties you up or he uses things on you, stuff that takes if from the vanilla world to our world, that is sometimes called a scene, or a session," Janna explained. 

"Oh," Alex nodded. "What do you want to know? Like what he does to me? Or what I do to him?" 

"No," Kelly assured her that they didn't need details. "Dr. Steward is a fantastic Dom, we know by his reputation that he gives you what you need, but how does he act before and after?" 

"Well after, he always spoils me," Alex shrugged. 

"That is the reward," Janna pointed out. "See if you don't do something right, you won't get spoiled after, I mean if you disappoint him he won't encourage that behavior! A good Dom will communicate that you may have done something wrong, but it won't cause him to be angry, if he is a good Dom anyway, but it may keep him from spoiling you after." 

"I see," Alex nodded. "With Gavin, he likes to massage me, and bathe me. Sometimes he pampers me with little things, like shaving my legs or rubbing lotion on me. It's always so loving." 

"That's called after care," Janna told her with an approving smile. Janna had been in the life for the better part of twenty years so she had lots of knowledge and it looked like Alex needed it. "Some Doms do it, some don't. The good ones, do." 

"Well, Gavin doesn't ever shirk that!" Alex told her. "He could be exhausted, but it still gets done!" 

"And how do you feel when he does it?" Kelly asked with a smile. 

"Loved," Alex said plainly. 

"That's the emotional connection," Janna smiled nodding at Kelly. "Our lifestyle develops strong emotional connection!" 

"Have you cried yet?" Lauren asked her. 

"Only when we fight," Alex frowned. 

"That still blows me away, that you fight!" Lauren pointed out shaking her head in disbelief. 

"No, not when you fight. I have been in a scene and then right after, I cry!" Janna told her. Alex furrowed her brow in confusion. 

"See the emotional side comes out," Kelly explained. "It could be happy tears or you may cry and not know why you are even crying! It's an emotional release. A good Dom will use all he has then to bring you down carefully from that." Alex nodded that she understood. 

"You guys never talk back?" Alex asked disbelieving that she was the only one that did. 

"No," they said in unison letting Alex know that what they said was the truth. 

"How is that possible?" Alex asked them. 

"Well, most Doms will break you if you do," Janna told her. "Some subs need broken, or even want to be broken, but again, that is up to the Dom. Do they want you broken? It sounds like Dr. Steward doesn't want you broken." 

"If for some reason you have to change Doms," Lauren began in warning. "You had better make sure they don't mind being spoken back to! Otherwise, your life with be hellish!" 

Alex nodded that she understood, but no, she was going to make sure she didn't have to change Doms! 

"The difference in this life is the Dom," Janna told her. "If you get a good Dom, then this life is very rewarding, very satisfying. If you get a bad Dom, then Lauren is right, this life becomes very hard, very unfulfilling." 

"I know I have an excellent Dom," Alex told them, and they all nodded their head enthusiastically. 

"His reputation alone says that," Kelly smiled. 

"Look, Sweetheart," Janna began. "Let's tell you what a good Dom should be, I mean I have had them all! A good Dom, a Dom in learning, and a downright shitty Dom!" 

Alex nodded, like Gavin always told her, start with the basics and work your way from there. 

"A good Dom, has extraordinary self-control, I mean it can be infuriating at times! You want to go faster, but he has the self-control to not go faster! To give you what you need, not what you want! That's what a good Dom does." 

"Sometimes, what you need, is not what you want," Lauren said in follow up. 

Alex nodded, Gavin had that in spades. Self-control, the man could control her body like a marionette, and then even though he pleased her with multiple orgasm, not get off himself. Giving her what she needed, not what he needed. 

"Next," Kelly began. "After care, it's very important, sometimes more important than the scene! Good Doms do this without fail, sometimes it's what your Dom does, the pampering, but sometimes it's knowing when we just need to be snuggled." 

"Oh God yes! Snuggling! Some Doms think that is what vanilla boyfriends do right before they go to sleep!" Lauren contributed with a laugh. 

"Also, rules have meaning," Janna continued. "They aren't just something that they make up because that's what they want, and they rarely change, unless the sub communicates that she needs them changed. Which is why communication is so important, a shitty Dom doesn't care about what you think or feel. You are there for their enjoyment, not a mutual enjoyment." 

"They think you are a prostitute," Lauren pointed out with a frown. "They can do what they want because they are the 'boss'!" 

"Not so," Kelly added. "Good Doms know that it is about us, not us, as in, us the subs. But us, as in, the Dom and the sub. One unit, one deriving pleasure from the other. A full circle!" 

"A good Dom, makes sure you both get what you want or need," Janna continued. 

"A good Dom, takes your opinion into consideration, because it matters," Lauren told her. 

"Oh, and communication!" Kelly pointed out as she picked up her wine glass. "Something that asshole Royce doesn't believe in!" 

"Please," Janna growled. "That man is the picture of what a bad Dom is!" 

"If Gavin is the post card for good Doms, then Royce is the antithesis!" Lauren growled. 

"When you are in a scene," Kelly said trying to shake off the bad memory of her last Dom. "A good Dom will check on you." 

"What do you mean?" Alex interrupted. 

She didn't want to, as she was reveling in the facts they were giving. Granted none of it was really helping her, she knew some of what they were saying because Gavin was all the things they were saying. It was nice to see how the girls were bragging on Gavin in a way, without really bragging on Gavin directly as that would make him uncomfortable for all the praise. 

She was concerned however that nothing was clicking to tell her what she needed to do, she just didn't know how she was going to know when she learned what he wanted her to learn. 

"Has Dr. Steward ever stopped in the middle of a scene to ask how you are?" Janna asked. 

"Of course! How would he know if I was enjoying it?" Alex asked. 

"Trust me, he is not checking if you are enjoying it," Janna corrected. "He is checking your mental state." 

"My mental state?" Alex asked. 

"Honey," Janna smiled. "We are subs, we are trying to please him. If we are being pleased we don't need to tell him, our bodies tell him naturally!" Janna wiggled her eyebrows. Alex smiled as she knew what that meant. 

"But because we are subs, we have an overwhelming need to please our Doms and we will suffer through something just for him," Kelly continued. 

"A good Dom knows this, so if he starts asking questions it means he has recognized something in our body language that has alerted him to a possible problem, which brings on the questions. If he feels that we are in distress, a good Dom will end the session, immediately!" Janna told her. 

"There is absolutely nothing more important, than communication," Kelly told her, driving home the point by bringing it up repeatedly. "Had Royce stopped to check on me that night, I wouldn't have spent time in a hospital! He never cared to check because he had no self-control, he didn't believe in communication and didn't care about me!" 

"Alex, this lifestyle we have, it can be dangerous. We do some things that push our bodies to the limit. That push our emotions and our minds to the limit, which is why we have to be in constant communication," Janna said patting Kelly's hand as she knew talking about Royce always pissed her off. 

"Oh," Lauren piped up trying to change the subject from Royce. "A good Dom is always humble!" 

"Absolutely," Janna nodded. "Arrogance leads to assuming you know it all, nobody ever knows it all! You can be in this life for decades and you can have done a scene hundreds of times, but if your Dom is humble he doesn't take you, or what you are doing, for granted." 

"Your safety is paramount," Kelly smiled shaking off her bad memories. 

"Now," Janna smiled. "Not that we need to ask, but does Dr. Steward do those things?" 

"Gavin does all of those things!" Alex admitted. This caused her three lunch mates to groan in tease. "Ok but none of that helps me! I know Gavin is a fantastic Dom! It's me that fucks things up!" 

"Ok," Janna smiled taking her hand because she realized Alex was getting frustrated. "Now to be a good sub, there are some things that you must do, and one of those things is patience!" 

"I'm fucked then!" Alex growled. "I have like, zero patience!" 

"Oh my God, it's not the only thing! It is also something you can work on as you go! As are all the traits of a good submissive!" Kelly laughed taking her hand as well. 

"Patience is the be ability to wait for things to come, being pushy is something that usually angers the Dom, it doesn't mean put your needs to the side, it means knowing the difference between what is truly important, and what can wait," Janna told her. 

"Having an open mind, you have to be able to accept something the Dom wants and learn new things," Lauren told her. "The hard part of that is putting aside your fear to try those things! At least it is for me, something I'm still trying to learn, and I've been doing this for a couple of years. But that is also part of the trust we learn with our Master." 

"Trust is critical, without it, there is no relationship. This goes beyond the scenes, beyond the sex. You have to trust not only your Dom, but yourself. To have the trust in yourself that you are making the right choices, both for yourself and your Dom," Janna smiled. She knew this was something she felt Alex may be lacking, no so much in her not trusting her Dom, but not trusting herself. 

"Pride is also important, this isn't arrogance but more along the line of self-respect, you are important in the relationship, know that this isn't about degradation, this is about respect, both given and received," Kelly told her, the fire there in her eyes as she was specifically talking about Royce. 

"We must never forget, we are subs, so service is very key, completing tasks set by our Doms. Now this can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. It basically means anything we do to please the Dom, from sucking his cock, to cooking for him," Kelly smiled with a wink at the sexual reference. 

"Gavin does most of the cooking," Alex frowned as she thought about it. 

"Again, all of this varies by Dom!" Lauren assured her. "Maybe it pleases him to make you dinner, part of his pampering, so the service for you may mean allowing him to cook dinner when you think you should be!" 

Alex nodded, that she understood, Gavin loved doing the little things for her, spoiling her. 

"Here is a biggie," Janna smiled with a slight cringe, "This is something I think you may be lacking, sorry, but its respect." 

"I respect Gavin!" Alex defended immediately. 

"It's more than words, Honey," Kelly agreed with Janna. "It's shown through your tone of voice, your manners...your attitude. It means during your arguments, which you should strive to avoid, you demeanor should always remain respectful." 

Alex cringed as this hit her like a Mack truck! 'Go fuck yourself', immediately came to mind from the Expo. Hardly respectful! 

"Manners," Lauren told her. "This was a big problem for me, saying please and thank you for sure, but it was the treating others around me with respect and courtesy. Remember we are a reflection on our Dom, if we aren't courteous, other Doms will get offended and that is an insult to your Dom." 

"I used to treat Janna here like shit, but it was because I thought I was in competition with her! Mater John punished me when he caught me, telling me the entire time, how I treated others, should be the way he would want them treated," Lauren admitted softly with a twisted frown. 

Alex thought back to her first trip shopping with Gavin, the way the shop clerk treated her initially. That was until Gavin said something to her, right there in the store. Then her demeanor and manners changed immediately. Did Gavin remind her of this rule? 

"A very important trait of any sub is loyalty," Kelly smiled at Lauren for her admission. "This isn't necessarily about not cheating on your Dom, which goes without saying, but to follow your Dom's rules no matter what, whether he will find out or not!" 

"For instance, one time, my Dom was punishing me, he grounded me from sexual gratification." Kelly leaned into Alex. "I couldn't cum! He did this for a week, told me ahead of time of the time frame, but then expressly forbid me to cum, that didn't stop him from playing with me, but I had to tell him before I came, so he could stop! Holy shit! Do you realize...just how hard that is to do?" 

"Oh my God!" Alex gasped. "Please Lord don't let Gavin do that to me!" Alex laughed as she thought about how torturous that would be. 

"Do you know how many times I was in the shower, my Master was gone, it would have been easy to rub one out!" Kelly giggled. "But he forbid it, so the loyalty was doing what was commanded. However difficult that may be, or how easy it would have been to get away with!" 

"Fuck me," Alex whispered as she shook her head. And here she went and dared him to find a punishment worse than spankings! 'Is that the best you can do?' echoed in her ears from her temper tantrum in the bed causing her to cringe. 

"Acceptance of who and what you are, knowing your limitations yet keeping in mind that your limitations will change as you grow, and knowing they will, whether you want them to or not," Janna said after a few minutes of just sipping their wine. 

She was watching the young sub in front of her absorb all this knowledge, she could tell by Alex's facial tics what she was doing and what she wasn't. There was a lot she wasn't doing by the way she kept frowning. 

"Something you predecessor had," Kelly smiled bringing up the subject carefully. She didn't know the relationship between Alex and Elizabeth so she wanted to tread carefully as to not bring up a bad subject. "Something I learned from her...grace. Not super important, but it's still something that needs to be said. Acting like a lady, appearing almost...I don't know...," 

"Regal?" Alex smiled thinking of Elizabeth. 

"Exactly!" Kelly laughed as they both understood. "Just this whole demeanor of head held high, confident!" Kelly demonstrated as she sat at the table. It reminded Alex to sit up straight. 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "Elizabeth always made me think of royalty, how she kept her chin slightly raised, the way she sat, the way she presented herself to the public." 

"Yeah," Kelly nodded. "Which makes me wonder why she went with Royce over Gavin! When they were together they seemed so perfect! Grace for her, and gentlemanly for him. The way he opened doors, and the way he looked at people, like something from an old movie! I remember bumping into in, literally, at a party. Spilled my drink on him, I. Was. MORTIFIED!" 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 23



"Your Master was so gracious and polite. I was trying to clean him off, and he held my hand firm, ordered me to stop, which I did immediately. He pulled his handkerchief which I knew was expensive, and he dabbed my hand clean, while he held it. Then he wiped some off my face, all the while he stared at me intently causing me to melt like butter on a hot stove! I was like, holy shit! Seemed like such a little thing, but it was his demeanor, it was graceful." 

Alex smiled. Yeah she loved his manners for himself, and the way he treated others. Like holding the door open that night in the restaurant, for total strangers, in her test weekend to see if she would like this life. The way he pulled chairs out for her, or held her coat so she could put it on. Tucking her hand in his arm to guide her. She was damn sure he would toss his high priced jacket over a puddle to keep her feet from getting wet if the occasion called for it! 

The girls all looked on Alex as she stared at the table. She shook her head. 

"There are a lot of things I'm not doing," Alex admitted as she thought about it. 

"Don't worry baby," Kelly smiled comfortingly to her. "This is stuff you learn as you go, things you strive to do! That's the growth part, learning from your mistakes and striving to grow from them!" Alex nodded. "Keep in mind, part of being a good Dom is being patient. You have a good Dom, so he will give you time to learn these things." 

"Does any of that help you?" 

"Yes, it helps me, but he said it was very specific," Alex stressed. "Granted all of those things I need to work on, but none of that strikes a chord in me that tells me, this is it, this is what Gavin wanted me to learn!" 

The girls look to one another and sighed. They couldn't help her find what she needed to know. 

"Relax," Kelly said outside in the street before they said goodbye. "If he wasn't happy with you, he would move on." 

"No," Alex disagreed. "He says his subs always get to end it." 

"Wow," Kelly smiled in disbelief. "He is beyond a good Dom then, he is a great Dom!" 

"Why?" Alex nodded, she agreed, but she wanted to hear Kelly's reasoning. 

"He is going to guide you to improve your relationship, which I guess is why you are here," Kelly told her. "Most Doms will end it if they feel like they aren't going to get what they want, or help you get what you want. If they can't bridge the gap, then they end it. Your Dom is saying, whatever it is, we can work it out!" 

"It also means, if he needs to change," Janna said hugging her. "He will, the ultimate sign of a good Dom. The willingness to adapt to the sub." 

"If it doesn't work out," Lauren teased. "Let me know, I would love to have a great Dom like that!" 

"I'll kill you first," Alex teased back. 

She waved at them as she got into the open door of the limo. Once inside the smile left her. She didn't learn anything that would help her. She learned she was a lousy submissive, as she didn't have many of the qualities they espoused. She also learned that she was probably the only sub that argued with their Dom and didn't receive some sort of consequence for it. That made her drop her head back on the seat and pound her fist on the door in guilt. That left one person. One she didn't want to go to. 

Alex thought about what the girls had said. It seemed their life was completely different than hers. They didn't argue, they didn't do what they wanted. Was Janna right when she said she wasn't a true submissive? 

Knocking on the door of her last hope, she wondered if this was the best choice. Elizabeth opening the door caused her to furrow her brow. 

"Are you alright?" Alex asked immediately. 

Elizabeth looked thin and her eyes were hollowed. Her cheeks were sunken in and she looked exhausted and had dark circles under her eyes as it didn't look like she had slept in days. 

"Yes," Elizabeth smiled. "Just getting over the flu!" Alex nodded but she didn't know if that was the truth. She was just getting over pneumonia and she didn't look that bad! 

"Is Royce here?" Alex asked from the hallway. If he was here, she would beg off and come back another time. She knew enough to stay away from that son of a bitch. Gavin was angry enough, if she put herself anywhere in the vicinity of that asshole willingly, there would be definite consequences. 

"No," Elizabeth assured her. Alex was happy about that, and Elizabeth took her into the apartment. She ushered Alex in and then closed the door behind her. 

"How have you been, besides the flu?" Alex asked as she looked around Elizabeth's nearly empty apartment. 

She thought back to the day Elizabeth moved out, she knew Gavin had said they had ordered furniture and Elizabeth was staying in a hotel until it was delivered. This apartment was sparsely furnished. No lamps, a single couch, no chairs for company. No dining room furniture, but there was enough room for lots of stuff. Her old apartment had more stuff than this apartment did! 

"Sorry about the place!" Elizabeth smiled as she saw Alex look around. "I'm really not here very much anymore!" 

"No," Alex smiled. "Yeah, you're at Royce's and all." 

"Yeah," Elizabeth semi smiled. Alex furrowed her brow at the way Elizabeth seemed to look away. 

"So, what brings you by?" Elizabeth asked her as she scratched at her skin at the bend of her arm. 

Alex gave her a solid look over, she seemed jumpy. Skittish even. She seemed to start one thing only to be distracted by another. Picking up some plates only to move them from the coffee table to an end table, distracted by moving to pick up newspapers. 

She had lost at least fifteen pounds, weight she had no business losing. Yes, the flu could make you lose weight, but this was more than she would have figured. She had lost the regal look that had attracted Alex to begin with. Something she had just bragged on her at lunch. 

"I just wanted to see you," Alex said backing out of her original idea. She was going to ask about Gavin but abandoned the plan. Something inside of her told her to, her instinct maybe. 

"Oh," Elizabeth smiled. "Have a seat." 

Alex smiled and sat down next to Elizabeth only to have the dark haired goddess stand up and move to pick something else up and then abandon it. 

"Can you sit down for a minute?" Alex asked her, twisting her brow in concern. "You seem really odd!" 

"Of course, it's just I have so much to do!" Elizabeth laughed as she sat down again. "I have to find a job and what not." 

"What happened to your old job?" Alex asked her. For a fleeting second Elizabeth seemed afraid. It flashed in her eyes as she looked at Alex. 

"Oh, umm," Elizabeth shrugged. "Well, if you must know, I can't be with a senator and be a lobbyist. Royce thought it would be best, for appearances, to not be with a lobby for fear of someone thinking I have influence over him." 

"Makes sense," Alex agreed as she nodded her head while staring Elizabeth down. Elizabeth smiled that Alex understood. "Are you going to move in with him?" 

"Eventually," Elizabeth told her. "Right now it's all about appearances! His father wants it to look like we are dating and what not, then move in, then get married." 

"You're getting married?" Alex asked shocked and concerned. 

"Eventually," Elizabeth shrugged. 

"I thought you weren't the marrying type?" Alex asked her remembering Gavin's statement. 

"I'm not," Elizabeth smiled with a wink. "But Royce has eyes on the White House! Can you believe it? He is going to be President of the United States! And history says, single men do not win the White House! So he has to be married and have children. You know the whole family man that the conservatives love so much!" 

"You are going to have kids with him?" Alex gasped in disbelief. 

"Maybe," Elizabeth shrugged. "Maybe we adopt, that would be another feather in his cap. That he was willing to take in some unfortunate." 

The words she spoke reminded Alex of just how phony this man was, and it appeared Elizabeth was the same. Only doing things for appearance sake to get elected. How did her moral compass get so askew? 

Alex nodded, but again, Gavin's words rung in her ear. Royce's family didn't have the clout to take the White House. 

"He says once he is President, then I can think about running for office! Like Hillary!" Elizabeth gushed excitedly. She continually scratched at her arm, her face twisting in pain from time to time. 

"You want to run for office?" Alex asked her, disbelief filling her voice while she watched the formally exotic woman deteriorate before her. 

"I can be a Senator!" Elizabeth defended, her anger quick to show itself. Something that Alex rarely saw before. 

"I'm not saying you can't, I just didn't know you had such high goals!" Alex tried to soothe. 

"I'm a lot smarter than people give me credit for!" Elizabeth growled as she stood up and began to pace. "People always think I'm some sort of idiot! But I'm not, I've made plans to protect myself from being betrayed. Just wait and see, he tries to screw me over...I'll bury him so fast it will make his head spin!" 

"Whoa! What are you talking about?" Alex asked, standing up to corral the babbling woman. 

"Nothing," Elizabeth said as she realized she said more than she should. 

"Are you ok?" Alex finally asked her straight out. 

"Yeah," Elizabeth nodded with a smile taking Alex into a hug. "Just stressed, the whole no job things has made money kinda tight! I've never had to worry about money before, Royce won't give me any money till the end of the month, the whole not wanting to look like he is paying off things for a lobbyist, you know?" 

Alex shook her head as she had no idea what she was talking about. Politics was not her thing. 

Elizabeth and Alex chatted about various subjects for a while. Alex's teaching was talked about in great detail. All the while, Alex watched her. Elizabeth was off, something was not right about her. Gone was the soft, quiet, demure woman. Gone was the stunning beauty and the happy eyes. It was replaced with a tired and somewhat haggard woman, who had problems just sitting still and focusing in on the conversation at hand. 

Guiding Alex out, she hooked her arm in Alex's. 

"I'm so glad you came by, but next time call. That way I'm sure I'm here! You just happened to catch me picking up a few things," Elizabeth explained. 

"Sure, no problem!" Alex agreed. At the door, Elizabeth turned her. 

"Hey," Elizabeth looked to the floor. "I have a huge favor to ask!" 

"Shoot," Alex encouraged. 

"Is there any way you could...I don't know...loan me some money till the end of the month? I will pay you back when Royce starts to help or when I get a different job!" Elizabeth asked, her face shading red in humiliation in having to ask. 

"Oh, of course, I totally understand! Remember, starving artist here!" Alex smiled knowing how hard that was to ask. She began to dig into her purse. She hated asking for money, even from her Dad, who always insisted she come to him when she needed it. So to have Elizabeth ask, Alex knew she was in desperate need. "How much do you need?" 

"Whatever you can spare, don't put yourself out or anything," Elizabeth told her, looking into Alex's purse with her. "It's just taking a little longer to find a decent job! I mean, all I get are offers to be a lobbyist! I'm good at it, but I can't do that and ruin Royce's chances at the White House!" 

"No, it's nothing," Alex said with a scoff that she didn't understand. "How much?" 

"Well I don't know you financial situation," Elizabeth told her apprehensively. "Whatever you are comfortable with, like I said, it's just until the end of the month!" 

"Well, I have a grand total of one thousand fifty three dollars and twenty seven cents in checking!" Alex laughed looking at her checkbook. "I have more in savings but I need that for a new car!" 

"Oh, um," Elizabeth looked to the floor. "Could you spare five hundred?" 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. She scribbled out a check and handed it to Elizabeth. Elizabeth took her firmly in her arms and squeezed her. 

"Thank you so much!" she said in her ear. 

She leaned back and kissed Alex on the mouth. Not a quick peck, but more of a lingering kiss. Alex forced herself to step back breaking the kiss, like it was from an old boyfriend, she smiled apologetically at Elizabeth who seemed a bit dejected that Alex didn't kiss her back. Alex backed away after the kiss broke, it felt weird now, to have Elizabeth kiss her in this way. 

Yes, she had made out with her, and yes, she had gone down on her and vice versa but this was different. This was not something done in the heat of passion. This had the feel of a first move by an amorous date. Alex moved away from her, and it showed in Elizabeth's eyes she was hurt by the distance Alex was putting between them. Alex waved and quickly moved towards the elevator. 

"Hey, I hope you get to feeling better," Alex said waiting at the doors for the elevator. "Do you want me to have Gavin come by and take a look at you?" 

"NO!" She nearly yelled. "No," she recovered with a smile and said her denial softer. "The last thing I need is Gavin and Royce squaring off! I mean did you see the way they looked at each other at the Expo?" 

Alex nodded and cracked a smile at her. 

"It was like the old west! Billy the Kid type shit!" Elizabeth teased. 

"I agree," Alex nodded as the door began to open. "Probably best to keep them separated." 

"Absolutely!" Elizabeth smiled. "Hey, just one more thing...," Alex stopped and looked at her. "Don't tell Gavin, please?" Elizabeth said holding up the check. "That would bring a lecture I don't need right now!" 

"Ok," Alex agreed with a single nod. She got on the elevator but something was gnawing at her. She couldn't quite place it but nothing about Elizabeth seemed right. 

*** 

Turning the key to her old apartment she pushed her way in. 

"Hey!" she called out in warning, in case Lena had company. 

"Hey!" Lena called back. "Living room!" 

Alex walked in and found Lena where she normally was, reading. 

"What you got now?" Alex asked as she peeled her layers of clothing off. 

"The Prisoner #5141133, same guy, this one is creepy as shit!" Lena smiled putting the Kindle aside. "He gets better with every book!" 

"Cool," Alex said as she sat next to her with a disappointed frown. 

"I sense a disturbance in the force!" Lena teased. 

"I have been sent on an impossible mission," Alex shrugged her frown deepening. 

"Give," Lena said pulling Alex's head into her lap. This was what they called their "therapy" position. In this position you spilled it all, whether you wanted to or not! Alex did. All of it. Gavin's instructions, visiting the kittens at the restaurant then the odd meeting with Elizabeth. 

All the while Lena stroked her hair, running her fingers through it softly. Never interrupting, just letting Alex get it all out. By the end Lena was frowning while she nodded. 

"Ok, that look says you know something!" Alex pointed out. 

"I don't know anything!" Lena defended. "I mean, shit, I don't know anything but what you tell me about the BDSM lifestyle or whatever you call it. And there is no way Gavin says anything to me! I mean the man is so private!" 

Alex nodded, but there was something there and she wanted to know what it was. 

"The look on your face has me worried," Alex pointed out. 

"Well, it's just," Lena started. "Hell I don't know!" 

"Go on," Alex encouraged her as she sat up and looked at her full on. 

"Well, just listening to you since you and Gavin got together, and then what the three girls said, it just doesn't add up to what I thought being a submissive was," Lena shrugged. 

"What do you mean?" Alex asked her. 

"Well, Honey, don't take this the wrong way," Lena tempered carefully. "But they sound like submissives, you don't." 

"What?" Alex asked. 

"Well, they don't argue, they do what their Master wants...God I can't believe you call him Master!" Lena stopped. 

"I don't call him a Master," Alex said firmly. "Gavin would never allow someone to address him that way! I don't know why, I just know he wouldn't!" 

"What do you call him?" Lena asked tilting her head to the side. 

"Sir," Alex shrugged. "I call him Sir...or Gavin." 

"Well, see? That doesn't seem very submissive?" Lena pointed out. Alex leaned back against the couch. Lena saw the look on Alex's face and tried to defuse the upcoming argument. 

"What I mean to say is, I thought submissives were supposed to be docile, you argue with him every chance you get. I thought submissives were supposed to be under someone else's control. They did what the Dom or Master or Sir wanted! You won't even let him loan you money! You take a job knowing it will make him worry, you do everything you want to do, and then not let him do anything for you, except sex. There you let him do what he wants but it sounds like you are the one getting the most pleasure. Maybe I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound like you are submissive at all!" 

Alex closed her eyes and began to shake her head as a tear came out. 

"I'm sorry baby if I hurt your feelings," Lena said picking up her hand. 

"No," Alex said opening her eyes. "Out of the mouth of babes!" Alex smiled as it all clicked. 

"What?" Lena asked her confused. 

"Gavin said you told me what I needed to know, you didn't know it but you did. He said we were on opposite sides of the same mistake!" Alex smiled, her tears streaming down her face. Relief filled her as she figured it out. Her "ah-ha" moment smacking her. 

"Ok, make sense because you are crying and you rarely cry and that has me scared shitless!" Lena demanded. 

"I said the words, but am not doing the action. He is doing the action, but not saying the words!" Alex explained. 

"Please tell me there is more, because now it sounds like you are the one babbling!" Lena begged. 

"In the very beginning, I submitted myself to him, I made the speech that I would be his submissive, but like you pointed out, I wasn't being the submissive! I was just role playing! I wasn't living the lifestyle, that's what Gavin has been waiting on, for me to learn that I wasn't living as a submissive, while I said the words...I wasn't backing it up with action!" Alex continued to explain. 

"Now he has been doing the opposite, he has been showing me he loves me, but he isn't saying 'I love you'!" Alex shook her head. "Both making the same mistake, just on opposite sides! Me all words, no action. Gavin all action and no words!" 

"Holy shit!" Lena gasped. "That's it?" Alex shrugged and nodded. "So why didn't he just punish you?" 

"You mean break me?" Alex laughed. 

"Isn't that a part of it?" Lena shrugged. 

"He doesn't want me broken," Alex smiled with a shrug. "He has to be who is, but he wants me to be who I am. I have to willingly give him my submission!" 

"So what do you do?" Lena asked, happy that Alex figured out what she wanted to figure out. 

"I have to decide on whether I am going to submit or not!" Alex frowned. 

"What if you don't want to?" Lena asked. "Will Gavin still accept you as just his girlfriend, without all the kinky sex stuff?" 

"That I don't know!" Alex whispered as the thought about it. "He says that being a Dom is all he wants to be." 

"Uh-oh," Lena said. 

"No shit," Alex agreed. 

*** 

Alex walked into the condo but found it empty. She plopped down on the couch and put her head in her hands. How could she be so blind? This was what he was waiting on, for her to realize she had never fully committed to the lifestyle. 

She picked up her phone and looked at it for a moment. She called him, she hoped he wasn't with a patient. Normally he would text her if he was, but then again maybe he was giving her time and space to soul search. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 23



"Hey Beautiful," Gavin's warm, soft voice made her melt. 

"Hello Sir," she smiled as she leaned back into the couch. "I'm home." 

"Ok," he said softly. "I'm at the store, getting groceries." 

"I could have done that," she told him. 

"You were busy," he told her. "Did you learn anything?" 

"Yes Sir," she nodded as her hands began to shake. She was now scared. She hadn't been scared in a long time, but she was now. 

"What did you learn?" he asked her. 

"I have not committed to this lifestyle," she whispered. "I have said the words, but have not fulfilled them." There was a long silence that made her hold her breath as she waited for confirmation. "Is that what you wanted me to find out?" 

"Yes," he said after agonizing seconds that seemed like hours to her. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "It never dawned on me!" 

"I know," he said softly. "The question is, what are you prepared to do?" 

"What am I prepared to do?" she smiled. She could hear the teasing in his voice, she knew, he knew she was scared, so he was bringing back a long ago conversation in the park. When she asked him the same question, only hers involved marriage. 

"Yes," he laughed when she giggled. 

"I have a question for you, before I decide," she said softly. 

"Shoot," he said firmly, his Dom coming through the phone. 

"What if I don't want to be a sub?" Alex asked softly, the fear of his answer causing her voice to shake. "Could we have a normal relationship? A vanilla one?" 

There was another long silence as the tears ran down her face, she knew that the silence was a bad sign as was the deep sigh she had to endure. 

"First off, you can never be vanilla!" He said firmly. "You, are so beautiful, so full of life and love, vanilla you could never be!" Her heart broke, his voice was so strong, so loving. 

"In all honesty," he said softly now. His voice barely caring over the phone. "I don't know, it has been so long since I have had a vanilla relationship." 

"I understand," Alex cried, she tried to keep her shaking hand over the mouthpiece as she bent at the waist as the pain of their apparent breakup riddled her body with the shakes. She was trying to keep her pain from him. 

"For you?" Gavin said in her ear. "I'll try anything to keep you in my life!" 

"What?" she let her tears fall now openly her voice cracking. 

"I'll take you however I can get you," Gavin said to her. "Vanilla or otherwise, you bring something to my life I hadn't had in a long time!" 

"What is that?" She was crying happy tears now, wiping her face repeatedly as they fell. 

"A difference," he said with a soft voice. "You have made me realize, I can still make a difference, and you make me want to do just that!" 

Alex cried, hard tears. Happy tears. Gavin said nothing, but he felt helpless as he stood in the middle of aisle nine at the grocery store listening to her cry. His own eyes watering, Alex wasn't the only one afraid. Gavin was in the middle of a crowded store fearing as well. 

"I'll be home shortly," he said as a woman cast a wary glance at him as she made her way by him. 

"No rush," Alex smiled through her tears. "I'm not going anywhere! I love you Gavin!" Again there was a long pause before he spoke. 

"Don't worry, whatever our problems are, we will work them out. Together," he said softly causing her to burst into fresh tears. "See you soon." 

With that he hung up the phone and Alex curled up into ball on the couch, the weight of all the pain, all of the fear, all of the regret was lifted off her soul and for the first time in weeks...she felt...happy! 

Gavin stood at the door of his condo, his key in his hand. His hand shook slightly and he looked at it. Fear. Fear for his heart being broken now. He was about to break a promise he made to himself so many years ago. Not since Carla had he ever committed to something that would cause him the pain that he felt with Carla. 

If he walked through this door, he would be breaking that one solemn promise to never let anyone close enough to hurt him again. He shook his head, he could turn get back on the elevator and go to Madelyn's and call and tell Alex he had a change of heart. He could only be a Dom. If she wouldn't submit fully, she should leave. Then again, he smiled at the door, maybe Alex already knew, she could already be gone. Gavin shook his head. Not Alex, not his Alexandria. She walked into this life fearlessly, she would not back away. He would follow her lead...trust. 

Opening the door, he expected her to be on the couch, but she wasn't. He set the groceries on the table. 

"Alex?" he called out. He received no response, so he checked his phone to see if she texted him and he didn't hear it. Nothing. "Alexandria!" He called out again. Still nothing. 

He walked to the bedroom, maybe she was in the shower. He found the bedroom doors closed. He took the handles and twisted but didn't push them open. He forced a deep breath into his lung before pushing on the doors. What was he going to do if she wasn't here? What was he going to do if she decided that she couldn't be with him with the knowledge of his desire of being a Dom? 

Opening the doors, his eyes fell upon her. She was naked in the submissive position. Her hands outstretched, in her open palms was the flogger. 

Gavin smiled and came to her, he sat down on the bed but said nothing. She didn't move. 

"I submit to you, Sir," she said with her head down. "I belong to you, for your pleasure, for your companionship...for your needs." 

"I submit to you, fully, completely," Alex continued. "What would please you my Master?" 

"First off," Gavin smiled as he stroked her soft hair. "What is with the flogger?" 

"I have been very naughty," Alex explained. "I have disobeyed, I have argued, I have displeased you, I have disobeyed your desires. I await my consequences, and your guidance." 

Gavin said nothing, he just looked upon her. She could feel his eyes on her but she didn't move. It took a lot of willpower not to look over at him. Gavin softly reached out and took the flogger from her. 

"Assume the position," he said softly. 

She immediately obeyed and took a stand at the foot of the bed next to him. She put her palms down on the mattress and spread her legs to give herself a firm base. In her mind she wondered just how many strikes he would give her. She tried to do the math in her head but she couldn't even think of how many times she argued, or how many times she went against his rules, or how many times she flat out disobeyed him! 

She figured twenty per incident but that would put her in the hundreds! He got up and moved behind her, he then gently stroked her backside with his fingers causing her to fluster in her thinking. His gentle touch got her thinking other thoughts.  

"Count them out," he said firmly. 

"Yes Sir," she whispered. 

She wanted to ask how many he would give her, she knew he wouldn't give them all tonight as her body wouldn't be able to handle the number. Her legs began to shake and his hand stopped moving on her backside when he felt her tremble. 

"Are you afraid?" he asked her. 

"No, Sir," she said in a whisper. "Angry at myself for disappointing you!" 

"We begin," he warned her. 

She heard the strike on his hand first, to measure the proper power he wanted. So controlled, it made her think of Kelly and the girls, on what a good Dom was, one with great self-control. Gavin had that, he was displaying it right now. 

The strike caused her to flinch as she was thinking about something other than her impending punishment. 

"One," she remembered. She felt his hand back on her backside. The flogger was placed on the bed. Perhaps he wanted to use his hand. 

"Stand," he ordered her. She did so and waited. "Turn to me." She obeyed. 

"You have pleased me a great deal tonight, your actions were perfect," he smiled. "I think no further punishment is necessary." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled. "Whatever you wish." 

"Some things to clarify," he said coming to her closely and putting his hand to her face. "One, do not ever call me Master. Some prefer it, I do not. Nor are you to address me in that fashion to anyone you talk to." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled. She knew he wouldn't like it, but she wanted to go all the way. 

"Two," he continued. "We need to communicate more clearly, both of us." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled as she nodded. 

"So let me communicate very clearly to you, so that there is no debate," he said putting his lips close to hers. "I love you." 

Gavin took her breath away with his kiss, it was powerful, it was generous, it was loving. It was all that Gavin embodied. When he pulled his lips off and she let her eyes flutter open. 

"Thank you, Sir," she gasped breathlessly.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 24



Chapter 26* 

Alex awoke in the morning, face down in the bed, completely naked with the sheet barely covering her, which was exactly the way she was when she fell asleep. During his pampering, the aftercare the other kittens called it, she fell asleep on him, due to her exhaustion. They had fucked for hours, in just about every position she could imagine. Her on top, him on top, from the side, from behind. It seemed as if they were making up for all the lost time from her illness, and her temper tantrum. 

She had tried to keep track of the number of orgasms, but she lost count because of the way he took her. Sending her into a mind scrambling orgasms that left her barely able to move afterward, leaving her laying there unable to do anything but enjoy herself while he continued on without her participation, for a short time as she recovered. 

She lifted her head and turned it to look at his side of the bed. That is when she noticed the covers in complete disarray. The sheets bound up and tossed about, the mattress showing, as the fitted sheet was pulled off during their rowdy, leg shaking, sex. There were absolutely no pillows on the bed, they were tossed somewhere in the room she was sure, but where exactly she had no idea. 

She tried to push herself up, but failed. Her arms exhausted as were her legs. Her stomach felt like she had been through some sort of intense sit up regimen, like one suited for Navy SEALS or perhaps professional boxers. Her whole body ached, but in such a deliciously pleasing way she didn't care if it ever went away. 

She lay there, her smile coating her face. Yeah, this is what being royally fucked felt like, she smiled to herself. She could still feel him all over her, his hands, around her throat, pulling her hair or pinching her nipples. 

His face, his beard stubble rubbing raw the back of her neck and her back, as he devoured any and all available skin. She could feel his face on her sex, from where he buried his tongue until she coated his face multiple times with her cum. 

She could feel his magnificent cock in her pussy that was pounded gloriously until she could no longer do or say anything but moan in approval. She would definitely feel him all day there. 

She could also feel him in her throat, which swallowed him as best she could, as he gruffly fucked her mouth making her gasp when he would pull out at the last second before she passed out. 

Every inch of her body had some sort of memory of him. Glorious memory after glorious memory! God she needed to fight with him on occasion just so they could make up! She giggled, no, no more fighting if she could help it. She would try to be the submissive she had declared herself to be. 

She would try to be the submissive the kittens had described. She knew it would be a long journey, but one she was determined to make. It all started with the first step, the step she finally made last night. Not the verbal commitment to Gavin. That was step two, step one was accepting that this is what she wanted. Perhaps even what she needed. 

Motion from the corner of her eye caused her to lift her head. She smiled as Gavin looked at her from the doorway. Leaning there, his secret smile of admiration coating his face, his eyes twinkling in satisfaction. 

"Wow," he smiled. "You look spectacular there like that!" 

"Like what, Sir? Fucked beyond words?" She looked over at him and smiled broadly but he didn't return her smile. 

"What?" she asked him, when he didn't return the smile. 

"What?" he asked back. A smile ticking at the corners of his mouth, as he realized he had been caught by her. 

"You made this face," she told him. 

"I did?" he grinned coming to her and laying down next to her in his expensive suit, not caring if he wrinkled it. 

"Please Sir," she said turning on her side with a great deal of effort. "Communication." 

He nodded with an appreciative grin. 

"Why do you describe our sessions as 'fucking'?" he asked her, pushing her tangled hair from her face. "Now granted last night I guess that was the best way to describe it, but it seems you always use that term." 

"What else would I call it?" She asked him. "What do you call it?" 

"Well," Gavin shrugged. "I would call it lovemaking, or sex, or a physical/emotional connection," he said softly as he looked at her deeply. 

"Do you think I am fucking you?" he asked her. Alex shrugged as she stroked the side of his face. Touching his skin made her insides dance with pleasure. 

"Fucking sounds so impersonal, so emotionless. Yes, there are times that we fuck, as that is what we need from time to time. But, other than last night," he winked at her with his mischievous smile. "I haven't fucked you for some time." She stared into his eyes for a few moments. 

"I'm not fucking you, I'm exploring an emotional, sexual experience with you. It's something I have learned since you have come into my life. I was just fucking before, but now, I'm in the lifestyle with you. You can't have the true trust without the emotional attachment." 

"If we are just fucking, then I do need to end this, because I haven't looked at it like I was fucking you for some time. I fucked Elizabeth, I fucked Regina, and others before them, but I'm not fucking you. I'm having an emotional connection with you that I didn't have with either of them. Mostly because I was afraid, partly because of an oath I made to myself. I've given up that fear and let you in. I willing to break that oath, for you. Not because I want a sub, but because I want to share my life with someone who gives me purpose. " 

"I want you to be that person. To do so, I'm willing to let you be who you are, but you have to give me something in return. And that's to let me be who I am. And what I am, is a man who is willing to risk everything for the woman he loves." 

"Does that make sense?" he asked her. 

"I was afraid to call it anything else, for fear of you throwing up a wall," she admitted, the tears of tenderness forming at the edges of her eyes. 

"Well, that time has passed," he smiled. "So for clarification," he grinned as he wiggled his eyebrows at her. "I fucked the shit out of you last night!" She laughed as he pulled her into his arms. 

"Thank you Sir," she smiled into his chest. 

"For what?" 

"For being the greatest thing that has ever happened to me!" she said stretching out and kissing his lips. "For breaking that oath! I know how difficult that must have been for you, I know sometimes people say things like that, for their own purposes, but I know, you mean it!" 

Alex showered slowly, letting the water massage her tight muscles. Hell yeah, he had fucked the shit out of her! Her body telling her so with every stiff joint and tight muscle. She found a couple of small bruises where his hand had gripped her firmly, on her hip bone, and on her thigh. She giggled as she shut the water off. Badges of being a good girl she decided. She dressed and found him cinching up his tie. 

"Got a call," he frowned. 

"Ok," she nodded. "Is it alright if I go over to Lena's? Some last minute Christmas shopping?" 

He frowned. 

"Look," he sighed. "I don't want you to change who you are. You never asked permission before." 

"I know," she nodded. "But I want to now." 

He walked closer to her. 

"I don't want you broken," he said firmly. "I love you the way you are." 

"You like it when I back talk you?" she asked with a smile. 

"Well," he tilted her head up, smiling as he looked down at her in thought. "You stand your ground when it is important to you, do you understand me?" 

"Yes Sir," she whispered seeing the intenseness in his eyes. 

"Are you leaving now?" he asked her as she bit her lip, trying to keep the lustful thoughts running through her head from keeping him from his call. 

"Yes Sir," she smiled. 

"I'll walk you out, I want to show you something that I'm sure will start a fight, but I don't give a shit," he said firmly, getting her coat and holding it so she could slip her arms in. 

"I'm not fighting with you anymore Sir," she said firmly as she slid her arms into her jacket. 

"We'll see about that," he smiled as he nibbled on her ear, wrapping his arms around her body trapping her hands against her as he held her from behind. 

They walked down to the elevator hand in hand. She kept stealing glances at him wondering what he had up his sleeve. 

"Hey Mike," Gavin said with a head nod as they exited the elevator on the ground floor. 

"Car Dr. Steward?" He asked as he picked up the phone. 

"Yes, please," Gavin smiled. 

Standing outside, the sun shone on her face and forced her eyes closed. The bright light warmed her face despite the sharp chill in the air. The car pulling up in front of them caused her to lower her face from the sun and open her eyes. 

The car that sat there wasn't his black Aston Martin. This was a pearl white Mercedes convertible. The car hop nodded at her with a smile and disappeared. It appeared both Mike and the car hop were privy to the knowledge of the new car. A short time later Gavin's familiar Aston pulled up behind the Mercedes. 

Alex stared at it for a moment. She was battling the emotion. Part was stunned at the beautiful car. Part was angry that he bought her a car after telling her she could buy her own, and part was hoping, by some miracle, the car belonged to someone else so they could avoid this fight! 

"Wow," he nodded appreciatively with a smile, he was looking at the car with her, watching her from the corner of his eye. "I expected the riot act." 

"No, Sir," she said dropping her head. That meant it was definitely her car, and nobody else would be coming out to claim it. "I told you, I don't want to fight with you." 

"Hmm," he smiled. "I appreciate that. I really do." 

"You had to pick a Mercedes?" she asked, the disbelief filling her voice, tinged with the anger she was battling. 

"That's better," he smiled. "More of the Alex I love." 

"I'm not arguing, Sir," she prefaced her next statement. "But I thought we agreed I could buy my next car, as Elizabeth had done." 

"Right," he nodded. "We agreed on that, but that was before your car broke down and forced you to walk home in sub-zero temps giving you pneumonia. Forcing me to lose my God damned mind and forcing me to examine what I was doing as your Dom." 

"Yes Sir," she frowned. She couldn't even think of how much this luxurious car cost him. It was more than she deserved, more than she would want. Every fiber of her being told her to throw one of her temper tantrums. She closed her eyes and fought that urge. 

"Now," he smiled. "Take a deep breath." She followed his command. 

"This is not your car," he told her taking her hand. She looked up at him. "This is a lease car, you have it for the next two years, which should be ample time to save up enough money to buy whatever car you want." He turned her taking her hands in his and holding them behind her back, as he pressed his body into hers and looked down at her with his smile. 

"I am a man of my words," he reminded her as she smiled up at him. "I agreed you could buy your next car as you feel that is important to you, so that makes it important to me. But...," he closed his eyes. "I have to be who I am, just as you have to be who you are. And who I am, is a man who provides for the woman he loves." 

"I love you," he said firmly opening his eyes to lose himself in her soft blue eyes. "But you have to let me show you, because it's who I am and what I do. Just like your stubborn streak is who you are, your pride is who you are. Your hard working nature and your love filled heart, are who you are. I won't let you stop being that person, but you can't let me stop being the man I am. A man who loves you and wants to show you more than in words. I'm not a poet. I don't do words. I am a doctor, and I do action." 

"Are you saying you don't want a Dom/sub relationship?" she asked him listening to what he was saying. 

"No, I'm saying I want an Angelo/Maria relationship," he smiled. "I want the Dom/sub to meld into something more. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. I want to be Angelo and Maria." 

He left her standing there, her feet frozen in the snow but not because of the inclement weather but because she was frozen by his words. 

"Not a poet my ass!" she gasped as she watched him walk to the driver's side of her new car. "That was the most poetic, powerful thing you could ever say to me!" 

She ran around the car and jumped into his arms and kissed him deeply not caring who saw, or who might disapprove. She wouldn't have cared if her mother was there with her entire bible study group. This man loved her and she was determined to show him how much she loved him in return! 

Letting her down easy he stroked her face. 

"See you tonight," he smiled as he opened her door. "Oh, and by the way, no you cannot change the gift you bought me, now that you don't need to save for a car right away! I forbid it!" 

"Yes Sir," she smiled devilishly. Dismissing the new idea of emptying her savings account to spoil him like he was doing to her. She eased into the soft leather of the Mercedes. "I will not buy you anything else, but the one gift I have already bought you." 

"Perhaps I should use this new found desire of yours, to not fight with me, and tell you to take the gift you have back?" he asked her, lifting his eyebrows in a small hope she would agree. He knew better, but thought, what was the harm in trying? 

"I wouldn't advise it," she smiled. "You just told me you wanted me to be me." 

"I do want you to be you," he nodded. "That is the woman I fell in love with. Be careful, the roads are slick. Any problems, take it to Curt, he is to do all the maintenance during the lease time" 

"Thank you for this spectacular car, Sir," she said pulling on his tie to bring him down so she could kiss his lips. "We will have to take it out and break it in properly!" She slowly let his tie go and he winked at her. 

*** 

Pulling up in front of her old apartment she looked at all the other cars parked in the street. Her shiny white Mercedes stood out like a sore thumb amongst all the inexpensive, and reasonable cars. Some were like her old Rabbit, more than twenty years old. This was a neighborhood of blue collar workers and students. To have the luxury car there made her uncomfortable. She just didn't believe she was a Mercedes girl! Evidently her Dom thought otherwise. 

Pushing open the door to her old apartment she could smell the distinct odor of burnt breakfast. She shook her head, the girl just was never going to learn! 

"Hey!" Alex called out. Instead of calling out, Lena came to her in a rush. 

"How did everything go?" Lena asked searching for an indication of the news on Alex's face. 

"I have, without a doubt, the greatest man on the planet!" Alex smiled. This caused Lena to engulf Alex in her arms and squeeze her happily. 

"I'm so happy for you!" Lena said from within the embrace. "Are you still in the Dom/sub thing?" 

"Very much so," she smiled. "It's really rather liberating, this lifestyle." 

"I'm so happy!" Lena said again bouncing on her toes to prove it. 

"Me too!" Alex said taking her back into her arms. 

"Did you give Mike this number?" Lena asked pulling back as the thought popped into her mind. 

"I did," Alex grinned. "Did he call?" 

"Yes!" Lena gasped. "We are going out tomorrow night!" 

"Awesome!" Alex exclaimed. 

"I know!" Lena agreed. 

"I hope he can cook," Alex smiled pretending to sniff the air around them, a dig at the acrid smell of smoke still lingering in the air. 

"Knock it off! You deserted me for Dr. Stud!" Lena reminded with a soft push. "With your track record I wasn't expecting to have to learn to cook for another ten years before you even found a man!" She teased ruthlessly, pulling up Alex's dating track record. "I was thinking you were going to become one of those cat ladies with like twenty random cats!" 

"Oww!" Alex laughed. "Well, now I know how you really feel!" 

"So did you fuck and make up?" Lena asked with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

"For hours!" Alex laughed with a blush. 

"You bitch," Lena growled. "And you won't share?" 

Alex shook her head. 

"He said the big three last night," Alex smiled proudly referring to Gavin's declaration. "I about melted into a puddle!" 

"Oh my God!" Lena gasped. "You got through!" 

"It was the most fantastic thing I have ever heard, like angels themselves whispering!" Alex admitted. "C'mon, I have something to show you, we'll do some shopping to find you a dress that will knock Mike on his ass, and get a bite of food that hasn't been burnt!" 

Lena stood on the stoop to the apartment building staring at the car in utter disbelief. 

"I know, right?" Alex said with a smile and a shake of her head. 

"Oh my God girl! How well do you fuck?" Lena gasped. 

"Evidently like a Mercedes!" Alex laughed with a sheepish grin and a slight blush at her own bravado. 

"You bitch!" Lena laughed. 

*** 

Pulling up under the awning of the restaurant, the girls hopped out of the car. Tipping the valet and waiting for the ticket she found Elizabeth coming out of the restaurant. 

"Alexandria!" Elizabeth called out when she saw her. It was sort of happy and sort of alarmed. She tilted her face away but it was too late. Alex had seen the bruise. Alex took hold of Elizabeth's chin and turned it back so she could see it. 

"Just a little rough play," Elizabeth smiled. "You know how it is, its ok!" 

"Yeah," Alex said firmly not letting go of Elizabeth's chin. "I know exactly how it is, but you're wrong, it is most definitely not ok!" She said angrily releasing her chin. 

"Not your concern," Elizabeth warned her. Alex nodded but didn't agree. "Is that your car?" Elizabeth asked her. Alex turned and looked at it before turning her eyes back. 

"Yes," Alex nodded, she was judging Elizabeth's eyes. There was a jealous tint in them. "Gavin got it for me." 

"Wow," Elizabeth said softly. "Lucky you." 

Every syllable she said made Alex uncomfortable. 

"It's not technically mine," Alex told her. "It's a lease, I told him I wanted to buy my own car, so this was a compromise, of sorts." 

"Gavin? Compromise?" Elizabeth asked staring at the car in a growing unhealthy jealousy. 

"Of sorts," Alex reminded. "Elizabeth this is my best friend, Lena Osweiler." Alex said introducing them. "Lena, this is Elizabeth, the beautiful lady who brought me into the life." 

The ladies shook hands and Elizabeth nodded in appreciation the acknowledgement Alex made. 

"Senator Danita Housley's new personal assistant?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes moving from jealousy to a rage. 

"Yes," Lena confirmed slowly seeing the change. "Dr. Steward put in a good word for me." 

"Really?" Elizabeth asked coolly. Alex watched her carefully, Elizabeth's temper was spiking like yesterday in the apartment. 

"What's wrong," Alex asked her taking Elizabeth's angry and vengeful eyes from her best friend. 

"Nothing," Elizabeth said with a deep exhale. "Royce was supposed to be recommending me for that job as well." 

"Oh," Alex said, her mind scrambling at what Elizabeth was feeling right now. It appeared the Mercedes triggered a jealous spike and now Gavin had used his connections to get her best friend a job Elizabeth was trying for, which wasn't going to help her demeanor. 

"Well," Elizabeth smiled, regrouping as the two women in front of her were watching her carefully. "If I don't see you before then, Merry Christmas!" Elizabeth said as her car was brought around. She tried to sound pleasant but the pain and disappointment came out with her salutation. 

"Yes," Alex said as Elizabeth hugged her, it wasn't a warm embrace, more of a quick hug before she left them. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 24



"Awkward," Lena gasped after Elizabeth pulled away. 

"Definitely," Alex frowned watching the car fade away into traffic. 

"The bruise on her face?" Lena asked. "Part of your lifestyle?" She asked hard. 

"It can be," Alex admitted with a soft shrug. "Not usually though, but I would imagine accidents happen just like in any relationship." 

"That didn't look like an accident," Lena said protectively. 

"It didn't, did it?" Alex agreed. 

"Tell me that won't happen to you!" Lena growled. 

"Highly unlikely," Alex smiled as they went into the building and was sat at a nearby table. 

"But it can happen?" Lena asked after the hostess left them. 

"Anything is possible," Alex said softly. She leaned into Lena. "You have met Gavin, the man is a control freak, there is no way he allows that to happen to me unless it is completely accidental and then he would be mortified and never forgive himself." 

"Ok," Lena frowned, she was not comforted nor was she placated by Alex's assurances. 

"Look," Alex began slowly. "There is a dark side to our world, but it's rare." 

"You knew this before agreeing?" Lena growled unhappy that her friend could be harmed. 

"The first party Gavin took me to, I saw the darkest of dark," Alex admitted. "But Gavin is much too controlled for any of that nonsense, but I would imagine even with all the precautions, with all the attention, it could still happen." 

"That's bullshit!" Lena told her. 

"It's no different than a regular relationship!" Alex defended. "Accidents happen there too!" 

"I know," Lena agreed. She knew Alex was right, but the idea that the possibility it could happen to Alex wasn't sitting right with her. This was her best friend! "How pissed is that chick that your man got me that job?" 

"He didn't get you that job," Alex said with a shake of her head. "You got yourself that job, he just made the introductions." 

"That's total bullshit," Lena laughed. "I know for a fact there are more qualified, better suited people Senator Housley could have chosen. She gave me that job as a favor to your Dr. Stud! Oh, and I'm totally ok with that!" 

Alex said nothing as she looked at the menu. The thoughts were running through her head at the bruise on the side of Elizabeth's face, her reaction to the car, and then losing out on a job to Lena. 

The job could be explained, she was desperate to find a new job and money was tight. So the disappointment was understandable. 

"So how do you know her?" Lena asked. 

"She was Gavin's sub before me, she brought me on to replace herself so she could move on to a Senator's son, one she believes is bound for the White House," Alex told her. 

"She brought you in?" Lean gasped. 

"Yes," Alex nodded with a smile. "We met at my coffee shop, I had drawn her because she was absolutely stunning. She gave me her number after buying the drawing, explained the lifestyle and introduced me to Gavin." 

"I didn't know she was looking for an out until after Gavin told me," Alex explained. 

"Gavin knew?" Lena gasped. "And he did nothing?" 

"He knew," Alex nodded. "Gavin is complicated." 

"No, what he is, is a super-hot Doctor that can fuck a girl into submission!" Lena laughed quietly. 

"That he has," Alex smiled. 

A text brought Alex off the subject, she hoped it was Gavin but her smile faded when it was Kelly's number. 

How is your search going? The text read. 

It's over, I had never really submitted totally, she texted back. 

What? You hadn't made your declaration? Kelly texted. 

No, I did that, but like you guys said, I hadn't truly accepted my role, Alex clarified. 

I'm happy for you, came Kelly's response with a smiley face. 

I'm very happy, Alex said with a tongue hanging out emoticon 

Welcome officially to our world! 

*** 

Alex walked into the condo, dropping her bag on the couch she called out to Gavin. She followed his voice to his office. 

"Hey," he said as she looked in on him from the office door. 

"Hey," she smiled back. 

"Get your shopping done?" he asked her leaning back in his chair. 

"I did," she said. 

"Why won't you come into my office?" he asked her, laughing that she was still hanging on the door jamb, leaning in but her feet were firmly on the outside. 

"This is your private space," she shrugged. "I don't want to crowd you too much." 

"Maybe I want to be crowded," he said placing the tips of his fingers to one another in front of his mouth. 

"I just think that if you have your own private space that I won't intrude on, you will have a place that is just yours," Alex told him. "Lena and I each had our own personal space, someplace we could go that the other wouldn't bother them in." 

Gavin nodded appreciatively. 

"Where is your space?" Gavin asked her. "Here? Not your old apartment." 

"See, that is just it, I do have the old apartment," Alex told him. "I don't need a space here as if I need time away, I can go there. So, for me anyway, this is your 'man cave'." 

"Wow," Gavin smiled. "I haven't had a single sub that had that thought process." 

"Does it bother you?" Alex asked him. 

"I don't know how to feel about it at the moment," Gavin admitted. "Let's play it by ear for now." 

"Yes, Sir," Alex said matching his smile. 

She loved separating herself from the other subs he had owned. Even after all they had discovered with one another she was still trying to distance herself in his mind. 

"I have a question for you," Alex began slowly. 

"I know," Gavin grinned. "I can see it in your eyes." 

"I'm leery of asking though," Alex admitted to him. 

"Why?" 

"Because I don't want to anger you," Alex said softly. 

"Ask," 

"Did you know Elizabeth was trying for the job with Senator Housley? And if you did, was this some sort of punishment for her leaving for Royce?" Alex couldn't believe she was asking the question. 

"First off," Gavin said firmly. "I was unaware Elizabeth was no longer employed by her lobbyist company, so no, I didn't know she was looking for a new job. Two, I'm not vindictive in that fashion." He got up and made his way to her as it was evident she was not entering his 'man cave'. 

"Like you said," Gavin said cupping her chin. "Elizabeth made her choice, and it was hers to make." 

"Thank you Sir," she said softly. "I know it hurt you, but I'm happy she left!" 

"I am happy as well," Gavin whispered brushing his lips over hers. "You are a great salve to put on a wounded heart." 

"You can put me on anything you like!" she gasped as he nibbled on her neck. 

"Is that a fact?" he asked. "Come with me." She followed him with her secret smile out. 

Taking her into the kitchen had her cocking her head at him. He began to take things off a wire rack in the corner of the kitchen. Placing the items from it on the counter. Various pots and pans, some cooking utensils. Once it was cleaned off, he pulled it to the center of the kitchen and faced her. 

"Get undressed," he told her firmly. "I need to get a couple of things from the bedroom." He left her there as she quickly pulled at her clothes. 

When he returned she was naked and in the submissive position on the floor. 

"Stand," he told her once he set some leather cuffs on the counter. The instant she saw them her stomach butterflied. 

She stood taking his hand and he guided her to the wire rack. It was approximately six feet in height, with three wire shelves, the kind you see in stores. He popped off the top shelf and moved it to the side of the room. 

She stood at the side of the rack and watched him put 'S' hooks into holes drilled into the top of the rack, something she had never noticed before. He then picked up two of the cuffs and hooked them into the hooks and left them dangling. She smiled once she figured out the purpose of the cuffs. 

He stood on one side of the rack, her on the other. He grinned as he saw the look in her eyes. 

"I always thought this rack looked odd in your kitchen of marble and granite!" Alex laughed. Running her fingers over the cold steel. 

"Well," he shrugged. "I don't have a 'red room'." Gavin teased knocking the bestselling novel by E.L. James. "So I have to be creative. As you can see, this rack is perfect for what I want, it also allows me to keep my private life private. Hiding in plain sight!" He held out his hand to her and she placed hers in. 

He lifted it to the cuff before securing her wrist in it, the soft lambskin fur gently cupping her wrist firmly, while he folded the leather into the pin and buckle. He did the same with the other wrist. Now she was stretched out, her arms cuffed into positon above her head as her body leaned over the middle rack. 

She watched him, his eyes glittering in pleasure, his secret smile matching hers. Her heart beat incredibly fast as he began to run his fingers down her arms. They looped around her neck then slowly down to her breasts before cupping them and having his thumb gently encircle her nipples bringing them taut with excitement. 

He went to the counter and brought back a silver chain and two clamps. She recognized them easily. Nipple clamps, she had seen them at the last party which seemed like years ago now! 

"I'm going to put these on you," Gavin explained. "At first, I want you to tell me if they are too tight, see I'm going to increase the pressure as we go through with our sessions so don't let me put them on at your breaking point. I'm looking for about a three on a scale of ten, the desire is to tweak them as we go until we reach that point over time." Alex nodded that she understood. 

"How long will they stay on? If I may ask?" She asked him. 

"Yes, you can always ask in a session, you know that," Gavin told her. "No more than fifteen minutes, any longer than that there is an increase chance of nerve damage, not good." 

"The idea is to bring you pain, not a lot, but pain that brings the sensitivity like the wax did," Gavin told her opening the clamps and adjusting the tension in them. "Under no circumstances are you to tough it out tonight! If at any time you are uncomfortable, or in too much pain, I need to know immediately, use your safe words if necessary." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled at his tenderness. "Very much green!" He nodded. 

"Always so very eager," he whispered. 

He lowered his head and put his mouth on her nipple, tonguing it gently. She gasped as the warmth of his mouth on her cooling flesh in the kitchen caused her senses to ripple through her leaving behind the goose bumps. 

"Here we go," he said to her. He carefully tightened the clamps until she winced slightly. He then backed off a quarter turn. It hung on her nipple and she marveled at it while she looked down. He checked it to make sure it was fully in place and not off center. He then moved to the other nipple and repeated the procedure. 

When he was done, she smiled down at her nipple clamps as they hung there. Her flesh bluing around them. He gently touched the ends of her nipples causing her to suck in a quick breath after each touch. 

"Holy shit!" she gasped at the sensory increase. "Green," She smiled as he looked on her. He nodded. He reached up and checked her hands, squeezing her fingertips to make sure she had plenty of circulation going. 

"How are you doing?" he asked her as he made his way around the rack to stand behind her. 

"I'm very good," she smiled looking over her shoulder at him. 

He ran his fingers up her arms and to her hands. 

"As a point of safety," he smiled at her as she looked at him. "If, for some reason I were to die of a heart attack, or something, because of your beauty, to get out of the cuffs all you have to do is push this release." He demonstrated the push button and her hand fell, cuff and all. He then replaced it where it was at the top of the rack. 

"Yes Sir," she smiled. "But I just found you, don't go dying of a heart attack!" 

"Well," he smiled as he began to nibble on the flesh on her back. "If I gotta go, I'll take it this way!" 

He went to the counter and picked up a crop. 

"Have I been naughty, Sir?" she smiled at him, her sex warming at the attention he was giving her. 

"Not all spankings are punishment!" he smiled devilishly. She nodded and closed her eyes. 

The first strike had her on her toes with a gasp. He struck her again and she bit her bottom lip as the sharp sting radiated across her backside. He alternated sides, one side then the other. Striking precisely and with the same amount of force each time. Each strike had her up on her toes as her ass warmed, then began to sting. 

He gently ran his fingers over her sensitive flesh, her body lifting on her toes as the pleasurable pain echoed across her skin. His touch barely there but still inflaming her skin. She looked back at him and could see him watching her carefully.  

"How red am I?" she asked him. 

"Little darker than pink," he smiled. "Would you like to see?" She nodded and he picked up her phone from the counter. He stood behind her and snapped a picture, bringing it around her he tilted it so she could see. 

Her ass was a rosy pink, borderline scarlet red. She smiled at it. For some reason she got a perverse pleasure in seeing her flesh like that. It was similar to the bruises he would leave on her from time to time. Either with his mouth, a hickie of sorts, or from where his strong hands held her as he pleasured her. 

He set the phone on the counter and moved back behind her. Pulling a steel stand that had originally held a plant, but, like the rack, this stand transformed in front of her very eyes as he pulled out the wand massager that made her heart skip a beat. This was so fucking hot she could almost feel her pussy leaking down her legs. 

Grabbing two more cuffs he knelt and hooked them to her ankles, all the while his tongue licked her sex and her anus driving her insane with desire. She wanted to reach back and grab his head and pull him deeper into her but she was secured so she couldn't. 

"This is fucking killing me that I can't touch you!" she gasped. "Sir!" She had to remind herself of the qualities of a good sub, something she was damned sure she was going to accomplish for him. She hoped to be as good a sub as he was a Dom. 

"I know," he whispered from within her folds. His deep voice vibrating off her sex. 

He secured her ankles to the bottoms of the rack, one to a side, spreading her legs wide for his amusement and pleasure. She was now open to him, whatever he wanted he could take and she would be unable to stop him. He rose and rested his body over hers. 

"Do you feel that?" he whispered in her ear. "That feeling of helplessness?" She nodded slowly, her eyes fluttering closed as his hot breath washed over her ear. 

"That feeling of excitement of not knowing what lover you have right now, the gentle one that makes love to you. Or do you have the lover desperate to pleasure you both, like last night." He began to run his lips down her body, following her spine, over her sensitive ass, the fire still there from her spanking. 

"Not knowing if I plan on teasing you, or edging you," he continued as he licked the outer lips of her sex with his tongue. 

"Or," he said softly. "Do you get the wolf?" 

She let her head fall back as his hand rubbed her clit gently between his fingers. She gasped at the words, and the sensations she was feeling. 

He positioned the stand behind her, and just under her, clipping the wand on the stand and pressing it to her sex made her hold her breath, which made him smile. 

"And I haven't even turned it on yet!" he pointed out that he caught her pleasured response. 

With that he flipped the device on low causing its low hum to fill her ears as the toy vibrated across her sensitive clit, he made a few adjustments, making sure the stand was in proper place so the wand fit completely against her pussy, the vibrations making her gasp before a small whimper of pleasure escaped her lips. 

He came back around to the front of her, she looked up at him with a hunger in her eyes that was easy to see. He winked at her. 

"Comfortable?" he asked her. She nodded emphatically. 

She was beyond comfortable, she was in heaven! The vibrations against her sex causing her whole body to warm and gyrate against the toy. Her legs began to shake slightly as her orgasm began its slow climb to freedom from her gut. She felt it begin as a tingling in her sex before moving to her stomach, then causing her stomach muscles to flex as she tried to keep the feeling at bay for a while, enjoying that build up. 

His hands began to gently massage her available skin with his fingertips. Moving around her face, down her chin around her throat gently. The entire time her build up was causing her legs to shake more and more, soon the rack shook with her body and she could see that pleased him. 

"May I cum, Sir," she asked, her voice pleading with him not to edge her tonight. He said nothing as he watched his fingers continue their exploration of her flesh. 

"Cum for me, Little one," he whispered after a few maddening seconds of silence, forcing her to wonder what his intent was, all the while he nibbled and nuzzled her ear and neck. 

Suddenly her breath caught in her chest as she locked eyes on his, her face reddening sharply as her orgasm clutched her body, her head dropped back as she cried out to the ceiling of her immensely pleasurable release. 

When it subsided, she lifted her head to see his pleasure written all over his face. 

"Thank you, Sir," she gasped. 

"Absolutely stunning," he smiled as he kissed her lips. She tried to kiss him back but he pulled back. "No, I kiss you, not the other way around. You just open your mouth to me, let me decide how to use if for my pleasure!" he said gruffly. 

"Yes Sir," she gasped, the sound of his forceful voice exciting her. The wolf stalking around the edges of him, she could see him just behind his eyes. Watching her, wanting to be released. How does she elicit the wolf from the edges to the forefront? 

Gavin gently began to play with her nipples sending lightening bolts of painful pleasure that caused her feet to dance involuntarily. She widened her eyes at him in disbelief. The tapped the ends of the nipples with his finger causing her to wince. She smiled at him to let him now it was only fleeting. 

He went to the freezer and pulled an ice cube from the tray. Her mouth slowly fell agape as she anticipated what that was going to feel like! He slowly lowered his mouth first and blew his hot breath across her nipples making her eyes flutter with pleasure. He sat up and watched her as he slowly brought the ice in, gently brushing her nipple with it causing her to convulse slightly. 

"Oh my!" she whispered as she watched his talented hands move the cube back and forth between nipples. 

Gavin slowly began to undo the clamps causing her to hiss as he released them and the blood rushed back causing her nerves to scream in sensations that were cut off for a while. First one, as soon as it was released his mouth was on it, licking gently, then blowing across them with is breath that made her dance on her toes as it racked her body in sensations that left her reeling in incomprehensible feeling. 

He then brought the ice back into play, now it was dripping cold water as it melted in his hands. She laughed inwardly, the ice wasn't the only thing that would melt in his hands! 

He let the water drop, drip by drip, on her nipple. Each one hitting its mark caused her to jump at the sudden sensation of pain to cold to pain. One nipple, tortured, then back to the other. All the while his eyes would shift from watching her body respond to checking her eyes to make sure she was ok. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 24



Once he had coated the nipples with drops of water, he began to trace the outside of her nipples with the cube, running around the areola like it was a race track on a caution lap, slowly. Once he had circled multiple times, he dropped his head and placed the cold nipple in his mouth causing the sensations to shift immediately that had her gasping. 

He released one nipple only to capture the other nipple, giving it the same treatment. The wand constantly working on her, bringing another orgasm to light as he suckled on her nipples like newborn baby. Gently kneading it with his lips, then softly with his teeth causing her to 'yip'. That soft sound that made him chuckle. 

The cum flushed from her, coating the head of the wand massager as it rested against her, it began to glisten in the light of the kitchen. Something she was still trying to come to grips with. He was playing in a session with her in the kitchen! It seems they were no longer bound to the bedroom. 

Now the car was available, like she did the night of the party, sucking him off as they sped down the interstate. The one session on the couch, and then that glorious night in the dining room, where she got the wolf, and said her safe word. That still brought a single wave of guilt for disrupting the wolf that night. Knowing it wasn't as fulfilling for him because she was afraid. 

After she came down from the high of her orgasm, Gavin moved the wand away from her and she whimpered slightly. 

"Just for a few moments," he assured her recognizing her soft pout. "I want to change your positioning." 

"Yes Sir," she said in between ragged breaths. "Whatever you desire!" 

"Just you," he said as he buried his fingers into her wetted sex. The warmth of which caused him to growl subtly as his fingers plunged into her depths. His body covering hers from behind. 

She could feel his hard cock through his pants on her ass. God she wanted him to release his cock so she could feel the heat from it with skin on skin contact. Perhaps she could wiggle her backside and get it to slip into her. That is where she really wanted it, his hard cock deep within her, pulsing with his desire. 

He brought out short bits of chain, releasing her wrists from the top posts made her brow furrow, she hoped he wasn't releasing her! 

"Not yet," he smiled when her eyes looked to him. "I'm still playing." She nodded. 

After hooking the chains into the 'S' hooks he reattached the leather cuffs that were around her wrists. Now they were just under shoulder level. He moved back around her and undid the cuffs on her ankles. 

She was dying to see what he was going to do next. She found, during these sessions, it was the time in between scenes that made her mad with wonder. What was he going to do next? What was he going to use? How long would he use it? When would he fuck her? Where would he spray his magnificent cum? 

All had her on edge as she could never tell where he was going, it was something she was always surprised with. Their sessions always left her wondering. There were a lot of scenes that had some of the same things but they were never the same. Never predictable, and always cum shattering! 

"I want you to lay on the shelf," he told her putting a soft towel down for her to keep the wire from digging into her skin too deeply. 

"Yes, Sir," she smiled. 

She adjusted on her toes to lift herself on the shelf, then laid to where her stomach laid across the towel. She was a little apprehensive at first, hoping the shelving didn't collapse beneath her weight! 

Once she was comfortably in place he picked up one of her ankles. She looked back over her shoulder and saw a longer chain hanging from the second set of top posts. He hooked her leather cuffed ankle into the chain, suspending the leg from the top post. 

He repeated the process for the other ankle and soon, she was in a backward 'C', laying on the shelf of the wire rack that used to hold pots and pans! If you would have told her this morning she would be in this precarious position she would have laughed. Not that she wouldn't have believed it because it was Gavin, it would be that she just wouldn't have thought of it! 

She thought she was vulnerable before, but now with both her hands and legs up and behind her, she felt ten times more open. He came around the front and made a couple of adjustments to her arms, dropping them slightly now as he dialed in her length. Making sure she was stretched but comfortable. And most important of all, she decided, helpless to stop whatever he wanted. That had her most excited. She was at his mercy! 

He went back around her from behind, standing between her legs he rubbed her ass with his hands. She rippled with pleasure. Oh God would she love to have him fuck her right now! In her pussy or her ass, she would love it! 

He instead spread her ass cheeks slightly with his hands making her think he was finally going to pleasure himself with her ass, and even though she had been wearing her anal plug she was unsure if she was ready! 

He lowered his face there instead and began to tickle her anus with the tip of his tongue, swirling around the outside of her puckered star, before pressing gently into her with his tongue. His strong hands pulling her cheeks apart to allow him to delve deeper into her taboo. 

Her head dropped at the sensations of his soft, hot tongue in her ass. His firm grip on her cheeks showing his actual desire. While his tongue probed gently, his hands held her ravenously and she could tell he was holding himself back. She looked under the rack and saw his chest heaving under his shirt, his passion filling his lungs. 

God she wished he would just take her in the ass, she wanted to see his face fill with the pleasure she had seen that night he fucked Elizabeth in the ass. The complete total loss of control he had when he was in her. Pumping furiously, with Elizabeth egging him on to go harder, to go deeper...to go faster! 

He instead pulled away from her and then let out a little growl of disappointment himself for stopping his true wishes. She smiled her secret smile when she heard him. They were thinking the same thoughts! 

He repositioned the wand back on her causing her to shake with excitement as he pushed it tightly against her so it would not move away. The vibrations picking up right where they left off, pushing another orgasm rapidly. Having it build within her. 

The sharp sting of the crop had her jumping as she had lost sight of where he was and was surprised at the strike. It cascaded her over the top, sending her free falling into her orgasm as he struck her again on the other cheek. Returning to his alternating strikes as she came with a gush as he re-reddened her backside. 

The trickle of her cum hitting the tile floor had her looking under the wire rack to see the clear fluid dripping from the bottom of the wand. She snorted out a soft laugh as the odd thought of hoping the wand was waterproof as it was plugged into a nearby wall! She was going to get real messy, she decided, so she hoped it didn't electrocute her! She shook her head at the weird thought. The things that pop into her head she giggled. 

When she lifted her head Gavin was in front of her, his cock pulled out through the zipper of his pants. It stood up on him, magnificent to behold to her. She tried to stretch her neck to take him into her mouth. 

"Absolutely not!" he barked causing her to stop immediately. "You are only here for my pleasure right now!" She knew that to be lie, but she said nothing. If she wasn't supposed to be enjoying it, why on earth was she making a puddle on the tile?  

"I'm fucking you!" he told her, using her terminology against her. She recognized it but was only able to mumble a few words. 

"Yes Sir!" she gasped as yet another orgasm began to build in her. 

He took her by the head, his fingers wrapping in her hair. He shoved his cock in her mouth, anything but softly. His massive head hitting the back of her throat as she tried to swallow him but his sudden intrusion left her scrambling to focus on her technique. 

Just when she began to struggle with his size he pulled out of her mouth leaving her sucking in air as soon as his cock cleared her lips. He gave her a few seconds before putting his cock back in her mouth, his thrusting hips forcing it in and out. Her gurgling letting him know how deep he was. 

She pulled on her restraints to use her hands to pull his cock out of her mouth as he air ran low in her lungs. A sudden panic fluttered through her as she came to the full depth of just how helpless she was. Suddenly he was out of her mouth and she was sucking air in rapidly. 

He pressed his saliva coated cock against her face, rubbing it around on her cheeks, nose and forehead. Leaving her saliva there. She licked his rock hard cock as he brought it around her mouth. She sucked him in and bobbed her head on his cock on her own. He reached over her back while she did this and smacked her ass with his hand, causing the sound of it to fill her ears. 

This sent her into a frenzy on his cock, making her devour it and swallow it whole, blocking her own airway with his cock as he smacked the other cheek. This forced her to spit out his cock in a sudden gasp as she orgasmed from the sensations of the constant vibrations on her clit, to the sensations of his hard cock in her mouth, to the sudden sharpness of his hand on her ass. The sensations of her sensitive nipples on the towel all had her body shaking with pleasure as he used her, and that was the best way to describe this session, he was using her body! 

He walked around her and stood between her legs again, moving the wand to the side. With one push he buried his cock deep within her causing her to call out in pleasure. 

"Fuck yes!" she gasped. "Take me!" 

He obliged her command, ramming his hips forward forcing her to rock on the rack she was on. He took hold of the rack to keep it braced as he plowed into her forcefully. His hips bouncing off her as he bottom out in her. 

"Yes, yes, yes!" she called out on the drives. Her body stiffening as her cum rushed out of her, around his cock to join the rest of her cum on the floor. He pulled out suddenly and walked around to the front of her, before she knew what he was doing, his cum coated cock was back in her mouth. Using her hair to force her mouth up and down his shaft before pulling out leaving her gasping before he walked around her and stood between her legs and rammed home there. 

She was gasping at each deep thrust, now he had his hands on her hips rocking the rack as he rammed hard and fast into her. Mercilessly pounding her quivering sex, as he pushed deeper and deeper in her. 

Back around the front of her, back in her mouth after she coated his cock with her orgasm. This time when he pulled out he didn't go back around, he fisted his cock, shooting his hot jism over her face, and into her hair and mouth. Shot after shot blasted her, the hot sticky liquid hanging there, coating her face. 

His hand slowed as his orgasm ebbed from him. She let her head drop in exhaustion as her body hung from their cuffs. He stood there in front of her, slightly bent at the waist, his hands on his hips as he gained control of his own breathing. 

Once he had, he slowly undid the cuffs on her wrists releasing them gently. Then the same for her legs, they felt jelly like as he lowered them to the floor. Her feet tingling as the blood flow went back to them. The slight pins and needles feeling that was bitter sweet. 

Once he had released her from her bondage he scooped her up and took her to the master bath, placing her gently in the tub, before turning the water on and letting the steam rise from its temperature. 

She leaned back against the sharp coldness of the tub, her body too exhausted to care. He poured some bath salts in and soon the room filled with the soft scents of flowers and the warm water soothed her aching body as it rose. 

Gavin disappeared for several minutes as the giant tub filled with water. She laid her head back lazily and stared at the ceiling. Her sex raw from the two nights of body racking sex. She still wasn't used to it! They were nine months into it, and she was still flabbergasted with the way her body felt after a session! 

Nine months, just three more to the year mark she frowned. That still had a deep seed of worry for her. Everything about what was happening was telling her this was going to last more than a year! Hell he just leased her a car for two years! Doesn't that mean he is thinking long term? 

Then the fact he told her that he loved her, something he hadn't uttered to anyone since Carla. The bitch that broke him. The bitch that made this wonderful man stop loving! And this man could love! Not just the physical portion, although that was flat out amazing, his heart was so wonderful. His gentleness, his soft voice, the way he smiled or looked at her. 

"What are you thinking?" His voice startled her from her thoughts. 

"Just how wonderful you are," she whispered as she looked to him. 

"Why do you try to lie to me?" he asked her. 

"I'm not lying, I think you are absolutely wonderful!" she grinned leaning on the edge of the tub resting her chin in her folded arms. 

He stared at her, showing his determination. 

"I was thinking, how pissed I am that Carla broke you," she whispered. "That you were hurt so bad that you almost went through your life...alone." 

"Yet you repaired me," he smiled as he came in with the wine glasses. He handed her one and climbed in behind her. 

"I shouldn't have had to," she said as he pulled her back against his strong body. 

"No," he admitted. "I suppose not. But that is the past, now we have the present and the future!" he said clinking his glass gently against hers in a toast. 

"What's that?" she asked as he set a white box, wrapped in bright red ribbon, on the edge of the tub. 

"That," he smiled kissing her head. "Is a box!" 

"I can see that!" she said, finding no humor in the fact he had bought her something else. Especially since he had warned her this morning she could not buy him any more gifts. 

Her anger bubbled. First the car, the clothes, and the pampering. Now gifts in beautifully wrapped boxes. 

"Easy little one," he smiled feeling her anger swell. "I said I didn't want to break you and that I wanted you to be you, but the caveat is, you have to let me be me...remember?" 

She lowered her chin to her chest in a deep sigh. Be a sub that rocks his world, she begged herself. That was her goal now. To be the one sub he begs to not leave him, not that she would. But her mind was set, she would be the one that made him believe he couldn't live without her, it would take all she had. All her power to fight her natural desire to stand her ground, to accept her new role, to immerse herself in obedience, but he was worth it. 

"Yes, Sir," she whispered. 

"Open it," he smiled kissing her head feeling her emotions. 

She reached out with a quaking hand, hoping this wasn't super expensive! 

Pulling on the ribbon it pulled easily apart. She set the ribbon on the side of the tub. Then slowly pulled the lid off the box. She gasped as the smile spread on her face. It was a gold and silver intertwined Pandora bracelet. 

She gently pulled it from the box, it already had several charms on it. 

"This here represents the city of Chicago, the one you so well depicted on the wall," he smiled pointing out the charm with the outline of the city skyline. 

"This one," he said, moving to the charm of an apple. "Represents your life as a teacher, a fruit of knowledge that you happily pass on to others." 

The tears were a soft warm stream down her face, as he said the things that she meant to him. 

"This one," he smiled holding the charm of art brushes and easel. "Represents you, the artist." 

"This one," he said holding the heart inscribed with the word love, "Represents how I feel about you." 

"And this one," he said holding onto the one with the three waves of the BDSM. "This one represents us as a unit." 

He kissed her head multiple times. 

"This is your collar, the one you wear in the vanilla world," he told her in her hair. "It is inappropriate for us to wear our collars like we would at a party, so this replaces that, an outward sign to those in the know, that you are owned, but hidden in privacy to those who aren't in the know." 

"Yes Sir," she whispered as he put it on her. 

"You are not allowed to take it off," he said firmly. "Not without permission, this is my sign of ownership. You belong to me." 

"Happily!" she said wiping the tear away as she turned to kiss him. His hands gently holding her face. 

*** 

As he bathed her gently in the tub she played with her new "collar". The charms were perfect! She thought of all they had been through, all she was willing to go through with him. The things he was doing for her. Not just physically, but emotionally. It was all so overwhelming! 

"I got a call from my sister today," she told him. She had toyed with the idea all day in how to approach him with this upcoming subject. 

"Everything ok?" he asked her. 

"She asked if I was coming home for Christmas," Alex told him looking over her shoulder to gage his reaction. 

"Christmas is supposed to be about family," Gavin told her watching her watch him, he knew what was next. 

"I know," she smiled. "Which is why I want you to come with me." 

Alex held her breath in concern, not knowing his possible response. He had met the parents but basically because he was forced to at the last minute, because neither knew they were coming to town. But this was different, this was not an impromptu visit neither knew was going to happen. This would be something he knew full well was going to happen. 

It also was more than just her judgmental mother to battle with. It would be her three sisters as well. The three "perfect" sisters and their "perfect" families that her mother claimed and the one rebellious single daughter that only her father claimed proudly. 

It would expose Gavin to her home world, maybe he would learn why she is the way she is, and he would understand. Not that he didn't understand her completely now. But being exposed to the house she and her father had to endure would explain her stubbornness. If there were an explanation anyway. 

It would also give her the opportunity to gloat, to show everybody in her family that she was capable of finding not only a man, but a fantastic one! One that would cause the other women in the family to look upon her with jealousy. And they would be jealous, a wealthy, successful doctor? It was something they all strived for, the three sisters, and multiple cousins on her mother's side, but failed to land. The rebellious one did. The one girl everyone said would wind up either a spinster, because her grit and stubbornness forced most men away from her, or in a relationship with a broke man with no future. 

"Go with you to Pennsylvania?" he asked furrowing his brow. 

"Yes," she said. "I want you to meet my family, I want to show you off!" 

"I'm not a prize to be gloated over," he said with a scoff that he was such a thing to show off. 

"The hell you aren't!" Alex said turning to him. "You are the greatest prize God has given me!" 

"I have my practice," he said looking at her, nearly crushing her with his intimation of his responsibility. 

He could tell she really wanted him to go. Of all his subs, he never met any of their family. Alex's parents were the first he had ever met, he hadn't even met Carla's while she was alive, back in college, as they lived across the country. 

It wasn't until her funeral that he even laid eyes on them, and then they hated him because he didn't stop her from her end. Guilt he accepted as he felt the same. Guilt that Alex had shown him was unfair. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 24



"I know," she frowned. She knew he wouldn't go. His patients come first. It was something she knew she would have to adjust to. 

"Ok," he shocked her. "If it means that much to you, then we will go to your family for Christmas." 

"Really?" she gasped, stunned he would agree. He nodded. 

"There may be times, Little One, where it appears my patients come first, and there was a time that was correct," he said as he kissed her lips gently. "But that time has passed. I want to be with you."



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 25



Chapter 27* 

"Why are you calling me this early in the damn morning?" Lena's sleepy voice came across as muffled and exhausted. 

"I have more Christmas shopping to do!" Alex groaned as she struggled with the Keurig. Nothing was cooperating this morning. She had so much to do, and no time to do it! The last thing she needed was a ten minute argument with a coffee maker! 

"Jesus!" Lena gasped. "Now who for? Not Gavin, because he gave you specific instructions, if I remember correctly." 

"No, as much as I would like to buy him something else, that is a fight I will not have right now," Alex smiled. "Especially after he agreed to go to Pennsylvania with me!" 

"You're fucking with me now, right?" Lena moaned. "You woke me up to rub in the fact that he is so perfect, he is willing to go into hell with you?" 

"No, I woke you up to go shopping with me again, I have nieces and nephews to buy for!" Alex laughed. "I wasn't expecting to see them until later so I didn't buy them anything. Now that we're going I need to get them something! The rubbing it in is just a bonus!" 

"You know, you can be such a bitch sometimes!" Lena teased. 

"Besides, we didn't find the perfect shoes for your date tonight," Alex told her, ignoring her insult. 

"I have shoes," Lena groaned. 

"No, you have shoes, then there are shoes," Alex reminded with a laugh. 

"Yeah, can't afford those!" Lena scoffed as she got out of bed and began to gather clothes. She knew by the sound of her friend's voice it wasn't a matter of if she could go, or even if she wanted to go, but when Alex was picking her up. 

Alex was putting on her coat when Gavin stopped her with his arms around her. 

"I have a favor to ask," he whispered while nipping at her ear. 

"She can wait!" Alex laughed huskily, insinuating her eagerness to have sex and make Lena wait on her. 

"No, not that," Gavin chuckled. He turned her around, and held out his credit card to her. She stared at it for a second then lifted her eyes with an anger flashing in them. 

"You are buying for your family, yes?" Gavin said firmly recognizing the anger easily. 

"I am," she said looking at him trying to keep the anger in check. To her, she was doing a masterful job, to the outside world, not so much. Her face was tight with it. Her jaw grinding her teeth making her muscles in her face strain. 

"Take the damn card," he growled finally when she hadn't made an attempt to do so. "This is not up for discussion, no debates and no temper tantrums. I don't want to arrive empty handed, so either you use my card to help buy some of the gifts or I'll buy gifts, and I assure you it will be extravagant and very expensive!" 

Alex closed her eyes, know your role, she reminded herself as she gently took the card from him. He took her back into his arms. 

"Look, Little One, I don't know them like you do, this way we can say it's from the both of us," he explained. "Whatever the total is, I will let you pay me half back." 

"You will?" she asked him dubiously, squinting her eyes as she studied his response. 

"I will," he smiled, but it was the way he smiled that made her furrow her eyebrows at him. 

"You promise? I want your word," she said to him firmly. 

He looked at her with an appreciative grin. 

"Fine," he agreed reluctantly. "You have it, I promise to let you pay me back, half." 

*** 

"Big step," Lena pointed out as she held up a pair of high heels for Alex's approval. Alex shook her head at the shoes. 

"What is?" Alex asked as she opened a box then closed it quickly with a shake of her head, gasping at the hideousness of the shoes trapped within. 

"Meeting the family," Lena explained. 

"He's already met the parents," Alex smiled. 

"Parents is one thing, your family is another," Lena defended. "With your parents they kind of cancel each other out, one Puritan and one normal man. Now your mother will have her Stepford Daughters and their Stepford Children, and I'm sure they will be ready to pounce on his perfect ass." 

Lena shivered as she remembered the one and only Christmas she spent with Alex in Pennsylvania. It was the most excruciating experience of her life. When she saw her own family again she hugged and thanked them for being normal! 

Alex's family was horrible to Alex, chiding her at every opportunity. Rubbing in the fact she was always asking for money, always asking for help, and was always alone. Lena could do nothing but sit there slack jawed as they attacked their family member, regardless that she had brought a guest. It was like a show from Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. 

"Remember when they thought we were lesbians?" Lena laughed. 

The family asked if that was the case, at the dinner table no less, as Alex never had a boyfriend to bring home. 

"I still think you should have let me tell them yes!" Alex growled at the bad memory. "That would have shut them the fuck up!" 

"I doubt it!" Lena disagreed with a shake of her head and a frown. "It would have got your mother to drag us down to the church to save our souls! Remember what she said? Queers and fags are going to hell first!" 

"Agreed," Alex frowned as she couldn't find what she was looking for. She didn't want to relive the bad memories from her past, if she thought of one, a hundred would flood her mind and she just didn't have time to deal with that today. 

"I don't need new shoes!" Lena told her again as they looked over the aisle of shoes, none of which made Alex happy. 

"C'mon, it's time we get serious with the shoes," Alex frowned as she led Lena from the store. 

Walking into the boutique Gavin had taken her that first time she looked about. 

"Alexandria!" the owner called out when she saw her. 

"Mistress," Alex smiled with a slight bow of her head respectfully. 

This caused Lena to look at Alex, then to the owner who was making her way over. It was obvious by Alex's demeanor change that this woman was in the life Alex was a part of, one that Lena didn't understand completely. How could a person demand this type of response only by calling out her name? Something Alex would have to explain. Later. 

"What are we looking for?" the owner asked. 

"Shoes," Alex told her with a wicked smile. "Not just shoes, but shoes." Alex stressed. 

"For you?" The owner asked with a surprised tic of an eyebrow. 

"No," Alex smiled knowing where she was going with her question. Gavin bought all of Alex's clothes, and this woman knew that. "For my friend here, she has a hot date." 

"Right this way," the woman smiled as she nodded. 

Watching Lena fall in love with the shoes made Alex smile. She walked in them and then turned and came back. 

"Ok," Lena laughed. "You're right, there are shoes, then there are shoes!" 

"Told you," Alex smiled as she had a convert. 

She was getting used to high end clothing now, not buying them, but wearing them. She was still uncomfortable with buying them, which is why Gavin always brought her here. None of the clothes or shoes in this store had prices on them. You had to ask, and if you had to ask, you couldn't afford it, so you were in the wrong store. 

She remembered seeing the total of one of her shopping trips, it was just under five digits, not including change. She about threw up there on the counter. Gavin was quick to push it where she couldn't see it but he was too late, she had seen it. 

She hoped she could keep the cost of the shoes from her friend with more success. 

"Ok," Lena smiled looking down at them. "How much?" she asked the sales woman. 

"Don't worry about it," Alex smiled stopping the clerk from divulging the cost. "Merry Christmas!" 

"Bullshit!" Lena barked. "These are going to be expensive!" 

"We'll take them," Alex told the clerk disregarding her friend's anger. "Box them up for us?" 

"Of course Miss Alexandria," the clerk smiled. 

Lena took the shoes off and handed them to the clerk. 

"As long as they are not too expensive," Lena said to Alex as they made their way to the counter. 

"Relax, would you?" Alex smiled. They waited at the counter for the clerk to bring the shoes up. As soon as the clerk set the box down Lena began shaking her head vehemently. 

"Absolutely not!" Lena gasped after the clerk set the silver box on the counter, the Jimmy Choo logo proudly displayed. 

Alex handed the cashier the card that Gavin gave her. Even she couldn't afford Jimmy Choo, but she hoped Gavin would let her pay him back as he promised he would do. 

"Jimmy Choo's are a like six hundred dollars!" Lena gasped taking Alex by the arm and spinning her around. "No!" 

"Yes," Alex said back calmly. "I want to, I owe you so much, from all the bills I didn't pay, to just being there for me through everything! Please, let me do this!" 

"Baby," Lena said softly shaking her head as she looked at the box. "It's too much!" 

"No, it isn't even close to what I owe you," Alex smiled taking her into a hug. 

*** 

Walking back into the condo with arms full Alex felt accomplished. She spent more than she intended to and that was not including the shoes for Lena. But she found gifts she knew the kids would love, especially her favorite little niece, Nora. The little blonde that everybody said was the spitting image of Alex when she was that age. Attitude and all! 

She set everything down in the middle of the floor and pulled the wrapping paper from the closet, along with the one gift she had gotten early, but only because Gavin had to help her with the finishing touches. 

Gavin came in from a call shortly after she got started and looked at her as she sat on the floor and began to wrap the first gift. He set his bag down and moved to the floor with her and began to help her, picking up another box and roll of paper. 

"I can do it," she smiled looking at him. "Why don't you go relax for a change? You are always go, go, go!" 

"Nah," he smiled back. "I can help. Did you get everything you wanted?" 

"I did," she smiled. "And then some." 

Gavin nodded as he wrapped the gift. She watched him, even in his gift wrapping he was so meticulous. Carefully measuring out the wrapping paper, then making sure the creases were perfect. Each step showing is attention to detail. Not moving to the next step until the step he was on was perfect. 

"There is one thing," Alex told him as she finished her first gift and set it aside. She compared it to his handiwork and frowned. She never was very good at wrapping, she didn't have the patience for it. 

"Yes?" 

"I bought Lena a pair of shoes today," Alex smiled. 

"Ok," Gavin said as he readjusted the paper to get it just right, never taking his eyes off the task at hand. She loved that concentration, it had her mesmerized as she watched him. It stopped her voice from working for a moment as she stared. 

"Yeah, I put it on your card," Alex told him when she shook her head to shake herself back to reality. 

"No problem," Gavin smiled with a shrug. 

"So I will pay you back the full price for that," Alex said as she began to wrap another gift. 

"Hmm," he smiled as he set his aside after it was perfect. "We agreed you would only pay back half." 

"No," Alex began firming up. "That was for the gifts for my family, not the Jimmy Choos!" 

"Hmm," Gavin said looking at her. "Don't remember making that distinction, I remember us agreeing to you paying half whatever you put on my card." 

"Gavin," Alex began to fire up. 

"Alexandria," Gavin said in a tone to remind her of where she was. 

"Fuck," Alex growled. "That is totally not fair!" 

Gavin said nothing as he continued to wrap the gifts with his mischievous grin. She stewed there next to him as they worked. She wanted to argue, but her vow made that impossible, not if she was going to be a true submissive. 

"So are we taking your car, or mine?" Gavin asked changing the subject. Alex blushed a bit. 

"Yours then?" Gavin could tell with a grin and a soft shake of his head. 

"Yeah," she smiled sheepishly. "Kinda want to be childish and rub it in!" 

"As you wish," he smiled with a knowing nod. "Now, next question. Do we want to exchange our gifts to one another here, before we leave, or do we want to wait until Christmas morning?" 

Alex looked to him in thought. She knew he was going to go ballistic when he saw the box. She also knew he would know exactly how much she spent on it and then he would Vesuvius all over the place. Perhaps if they were in front of her family it would be kept to a minimum. If nothing else, the punishment wouldn't come immediately. Granted it was only prolonging the inevitable, but the longer she put it off, the longer she could keep the dream that he wouldn't be angry. 

"Christmas Day, at my mom and dad's," Alex said thinking of the chance to give it to him without a huge fight. Gavin stared at her for a few seconds, taking the time to read her body language. 

"It concerns me that you think that being at your parents will keep me from punishing you for the gift if I deem it too extravagant," Gavin said watching her shrink a little. 

"It's that expensive?" He growled when he saw her shrink. 

"No," she shrugged trying to keep him from erupting now. "Not in the grand scheme of things!" she explained weakly. She didn't look at him even though she could feel him staring at her. 

"Alexandria," Gavin began. 

"I'm not taking it back," she whispered. "End of story." Gavin tilted his head at her, part surprise, part anger. 

"It's worth taking a consequence for?" he asked her, his own temper rising. 

"Some things are," she nodded with a whisper. "Yes, I'll take the consequence, as long as you promise not to return it." 

"This is direct disobedience," Gavin reminded. "Thirty strokes." 

"I understand," Alex whispered. Her face frowned. She tried to keep it from happening but it happened anyway. 

"How much did you spend?" Gavin asked her point blank. 

"How much did you spend?" Alex fired back. 

She was trying to behave, but he was making it difficult. She hoped he remembered that keeping her tongue in check was new to her! It most definitely wouldn't happen overnight! 

"Shall we start with the Mercedes? Lease or not, it's still more than I spent. Then the bracelet, and I can't imagine what the clothes cost. That still leaves the Christmas gift itself, which I know isn't going to be inexpensive!" 

She looked to him and saw his smile. 

"What?" she barked, louder than she intended to. 

"Gifts," Gavin chuckled. 

"Plural?" Alex growled. He nodded as he chuckled at her fiery response. 

"See, you could have been an English teacher too!" he teased, knowing full well she would explode. 

Alex was having none of his teasing as she tackled him on the floor, he easily overpowered her and held her hands above her head trapping them there. He trapped her body beneath his, locking her arms to the floor as he hovered just above her face with his. His nose rubbing on hers. 

"I love to watch you fire up," he smiled staring at her eyes. "It turns me on." She relaxed a little as she saw the look in his eyes. 

"You have a gift of getting me fired up," she whispered as he began to nibble at her neck, then moving down. "And just because you are seducing me, doesn't mean this argument is over." 

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Gavin laughed as he began to lift her dress up. His hands pulling at her panties. 

Her hands fell to his head as he pulled her breast out and began to lick the nipples, they were still ultra-sensitive from the clamps and they instantly sprang to full attention. The blood rushing to them in a pleasurable millisecond. He lifted his head as soon as she touched his hair. She looked down at him when he stopped suckling. She pulled her hands back from him and shrugged innocently at him. 

"Sorta sorry?" she tried as she put her hands back to where they were above her head. 

He pulled his tie off and straddled her chest. Taking her hands in one of his, he tied her hands together then lifted her arms straight above her head. She tilted to look to see what he was doing. He was tying the other end to the leg of the couch. She giggled. 

"I love the fact you have bondage equipment on you at all times," she whispered. 

"I have to with you," he grinned. "You make me want to tie you up all the time, just so I can to lascivious things to you!" 

Once he had her tied to the couch he moved off her and stroked the side of her face, before grinning. 

"I don't think I'm going to like that smile," she pointed out. 

"Probably not," he agreed as his fingers tweaked her nipples. "I want you to tell me what you spent on me." 

She looked at him blankly, waiting for the rest of his demand. Surely he didn't think she would just tell him. When he didn't continue, she tilted her head. If she held her ground, it would go directly against what she promised the night before last. 

"No," she said softly, her stomach summersaulting in anguish. 

It actually pained her to say it. That was new, she never had any problem saying 'no' before to any boyfriend. 

"I can't, please don't ask me to violate my oath, please!" she pleaded in a last ditch hope that he would help her keep her hopes of being a true submissive. 

"I won't," he smiled. She sighed a breath of relief. "No, I won't punish you for disobeying my command, however..." He slid down on her and moved between her legs. 

He began to work on her, his tongue gently probing her lips causing her to close her eyes and lose herself in the soft, warm feel of his tongue. She also lost her thoughts on what he was saying. He managed to suckle and nuzzle her into thinking only of her pleasure. 

He worked his tongue on the outside of her lips at first, just running around them gently with his tongue. He brought his hands into play and her mind skipped like a record player when you dropped something near it. Her body started grinding up into his face. 

His fingers gently pulled her apart, opening up her soft folds for his tongue to explore. His tongue, one of the many parts of his body that made her legs dance without music. She smiled at the way her toes would curl involuntarily when he would hit the most sensitive of spots. 

He used his thumb to rub her clit, while his tongue dove into her depths giving her multiple sensations to deal with, she could do nothing with either of them but moan in approval. 

"Oh my God, Sir," she whispered as her body lifted off the floor, an attempt to drive him faster as she felt herself inching up the roller coaster of her orgasm. The clicking in her mind sounding like the build up from her childhood trips to Cedar Point, in Ohio. The roller coasters there that would have her leaning back in the seats as they climbed the tall hills of steel. 

This was very similar, it was a buildup that had her heart racing, knowing she was going to call out very soon as the orgasm washed from her. Her legs began to shake as she pressed off the floor with her feet, her orgasm causing her to rock back on her head to use it as a pivot point and lifting herself off the floor. 

Her teeth dug into her lip as she prepared for her satisfying orgasm, God he was so good at making her body do this. Like a concert pianist, playing her expertly to get the most beautiful music from her. 

Suddenly it was on her and her body shook as she held firm. She waited, holding her breath as her orgasm screamed from the belly ready to rush down the tracks to his face. 

Just as suddenly, his lips were gone. Her coaster car coming to a crashing halt as her body collapsed to the floor with a thud. 

"Sir?" she pleaded, her voice breaking with the strain of her near orgasm. "Are you going to edge me?" 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 25



"No," he smiled as he blew across her sensitive sex. "All you have to do is tell me how much you spent. I will make you cum." She tilted her head to look at him as he lifted his eyes to her. 

"I won't tell you what I got you!" she said to him, shocked that he would make such a suggestion. 

"I'm not asking you to tell me what you got me, just how much you spent, so that fight can be had here, instead of at your parents," he said firmly. "The gift you can keep a secret." 

She stared at him for agonizing seconds. Trying to gauge if he was serious. It was evident that he was by the look in his eyes. 

"I can't," she whispered. 

"No?" he smiled as he began to lick her gently again causing her to whimper. "Are you sure you don't want to cum?" 

"Please Sir!" she begged. "Let me cum!" 

"Tell me," he said again as he began to suck on her lips, pulling them into his mouth. 

"No," she whispered. "I can't, that's not fair!" 

"All is fair in love and war," he snickered from within her. 

"Fuck!" she gasped as he returned to working on her. "You do not play fair Sir!" 

"No, I play to win!" he said. "Tell me, and you cum." She shook her head as she clamped her treacherous lips closed for fear they would betray her and tell him when she was at her weakest. 

Bringing her to the peak he watched her fight the fight. Trying to keep herself from enjoying his manipulations. Trying to keep her secret to herself. Her head began to thrash from side to side. At the precipice, he stopped causing her to cry out and stomp her foot to the floor. 

"It's all up to you," he whispered as he gently licked the outer edge of her sex. "You can cum, when you tell me." 

"Please!" she begged. "This is cruel!" 

"I agree," he laughed. "But, it's still gonna happen. I am a man of my word!" 

"So mean!" she laughed in pleasurable wickedness. 

He dove into her this time, eating ravenously. Watching her struggle inside herself. Knowing it was taking a great deal of strength not to give in. Again at the breaking point she closed her eyes shut tightly, her lips tighter. He stopped, causing both feet to stomp this time. 

He moved up her body and lay next to her. She looked to him, her eyes begging for mercy, which was met with a sinister smile. 

"All I need is a number," he whispered as he ran his lips over hers, his tongue dipping into her mouth. 

His fingers eased into her hot depths and caused her body to shake. 

"I want to make you cum, I want you to coat my fingers with your delicious cream," he said to her as she opened her eyes and stared into the depths of his chocolate brown eyes. "Just give me the number." 

Alex laughed as did Gavin, it sounded like something from a James Bond movie, a sinister villain promising to kill Bond quickly if he gave up the secret. She looked deep into his eyes and knew he was enjoying himself. This had nothing to do with the number, he was just enjoying toying with her body. So she channeled her inner Bond, to let him continue his pleasurable game. 

"Do your worst," she smiled with a shake of her head. "I will never tell!" 

"So it's going to be like that?" he asked her as his fingers picked up speed. She clamped her lips shut, praying to God that they didn't betray her. But nodded her head vigorously. 

"You know, I don't have to stop with my tongue or fingers? I could go get our friend, the wand, or better yet, let my cock out and use it," he informed her as he used his fingers on her. Forcing her body to respond quickly to him. 

She turned her head away from him in a show of defiance. 

"Oh," he laughed. "I can go all night." He whispered as her body began to shake as her orgasm approached. "Can you?" 

She nodded her head defiantly, enjoying their game now. It was driving her insane but it was definitely a most delicious game. One she was determined to win. 

"Your body says otherwise, it appears it's on my side," he pointed out. "It wants to cum, it's begging me to make you cum!" 

"Too bad," she gritted her teeth. 

She turned her eyes to him, and he tilted his head with a smile. Her face reddening as her orgasm approached at rapid pace. Surely he would let her cum when he was done playing the villain in their little role play here, right? 

Her body demanded her mouth to speak so she held her lips tighter, her insides begging for release. Suddenly he was gone from her, his sinister smile mocking her. 

"Fuck!" she barked. "You are the meanest man on the planet right now!" she told him. 

He kissed her deeply and she tried to convince him with her lips to end the game but he held her chin and smiled at her. 

"You are really not going to tell me?" he admired. She shook her head as her chest heaved with her excitement. 

He continued on with his torture, and that was the only way she could describe it. Torture! Glorious, heavenly torture, but torture nonetheless! 

He was so good making her body sing, but he wouldn't play the last note for her. Always bringing her to the edge only to stop the music right before the crescendo. 

She physically tired from all the playing, he was wearing her out. Her body ached from all the muscle contractions. Her lips hurt from where she bit them to keep herself silent. 

"Stubborn little mule," he smiled pulling his fingers up to lick them. 

"You are going to know in a couple of days, what's a couple of days?" she asked him under heavy breath. 

"That's a long time to not cum," he pointed out. 

"What?" she gasped. 

"What would happen if I said I wasn't going to touch you until I knew whether or not to be angry with you," he asked. 

"You are not playing fair!" she whispered as she closed her eyes. 

He began to untie her hands from the couch, she looked to him with watery eyes. 

"What are you doing?" she asked him. 

"Releasing you," he smiled. "It's getting late, and we have a long drive tomorrow." 

"But," she whimpered. 

The tear snuck out and he caught it with his finger. 

"No," he smiled. "I'm very happy you held out, I love it when I'm challenged in this fashion." 

"Are you sure, I could satisfy you!" she told him as soon as her hands were free she put them on him clutching his shirt. 

"No," he smiled. "I enjoyed our little game very much, my only regret is that we didn't have more time. I could have broken you with more time!" 

"No chance," she smiled defiantly against his lips as he kissed her. 007 always wins! 

*** 

The car was packed with gifts, including his, which she took down while he was in the shower so he couldn't see it. They were traveling down the highway headed to Pennsylvania and her family. Now she wasn't so certain this was a good idea. Here in the car with nothing to do but think of all the things that could go wrong. She wished she could just tell him to turn around. 

"Awfully quiet over there," he pointed out. 

"Is it too late to change my mind?" she asked him with a snort knowing it was. 

"What are you so nervous about? You know these people, I don't. I should be the one who's nervous!" He laughed taking her hand in his and kissing the back in a comforting gesture that she melted over. 

"You're right, I do know these people. I know exactly how they are going to respond! They are going be all, 'oh wow, we are so happy Alex has finally decided to find a good man to settle down with', then they are going to run away to some corner of the house and drool all over themselves as they undress you with their beady little jealous eyes and their holier than thou attitudes and wonder 'how did Alex land such a perfect man?'." 

"Sex. Tell them great sex!" Gavin suggested in a tease. 

"Oh yeah! Would love to do that! Go up to them and say, yep, I bagged him because I can fuck like a two dollar Bangkok whore that he doesn't have to use his frequent flyer miles to get to!" Alex laughed with him. 

"Yeah, go with that! That would impress the shit out of them!" Gavin said with a shake of his head. 

"Thanks for enduring this with me," Alex sighed looking to him as he drove. 

"Uh, not enduring anything, this is where I get to show you off. You think it's the other way around, but it's not. I'm showing your family, who missed the diamond in the rough, what a spectacular jewel you really are!" Gavin said firmly. 

"God you are so spectacular!" she gushed as she looked at him. "So perfect!" 

"No such thing as perfect," he told her with a shake of his head. 

"No?" she disagreed with a tilt of her head. 

"See? That is where you women are messing up, there is no such thing as perfect. Even though every woman's magazine says they have the clues to finding the perfect man! Every book, every movie, every TV show, they all purport to show what the perfect man is," Gavin shrugged. 

"Every one of them is wrong, there is no such thing as perfection. Our faults are what makes us special. They key to happiness is finding someone who's faults you can live with for the rest of your life. Stop looking for perfection and start looking for the faults and decide, can I spend a hundred years with him doing that?" 

Alex looked at him with an admiring smile. 

"Nah," she finally said with a firm shake of her head. "You're perfect!" 

"I tried to sound humble, but you're right, I'm perfect!" he chuckled jokingly with a shrug. 

Three hours into the nine hour trip Alex shook her head. 

"I forgot how long it is to get there!" she groaned. "Maybe we should have flown in like you suggested." 

"Don't want to spend time with me now?" he teased. 

"Not after your cruelty from last night!" she reminded him from his non-orgasmic torture. 

"All you had to do was tell me a number," he pointed out. 

"All you had to do was go two seconds longer!" she pointed out right back causing them both to laugh. 

He rested his hand on her knee and she melted under it. It took her back to the first weekend. The way his hand touched her so innocently but made her body react. Nine months later it still reacted the same way. Not a smidge less, just as exciting as that first weekend. She rubbed her fingers over his, falling in between them she rested her hand there on top of his. 

"Shall I make the drive more bearable?" he asked as his hand slipped up her stocking covered thigh, moving her dress up as he went. She moved her thighs apart to give him access. 

"Please don't torture me again Sir," she begged. 

"I won't," he smiled as his fingers found her without panties. "No panties?" He smiled. 

"I wanted to be available to you," she smiled sheepishly. "Whenever you wanted me!" He nodded approvingly as he licked his fingers before returning to her, he found it was unnecessary as her lips parted easily, anxious to take him in. 

"I love the way your body responds to me," he said as he stared at the road. 

"I love the way you make my body respond to you!" she countered as she gripped the arm rests next to her to keep her hands from misbehaving. 

His fingers rubbed her outer hood of her clit, forcing her to whimper with delight as he pinched it between his fingers. His fingers released it after evoking a gasp from her before they snaked into her causing her to lift her hips off the leather seat. His palm against her smoldering clit had him smiling his secret smile. Her eyes closed, praying this wasn't a continuation of last night. She would not be able to keep the number today, she was too weak, too desperate for her orgasm. 

His fingers filled the car with the sound of her eager acceptance, the smell of her sex also rising driving him faster and deeper as he looked over at her and saw her biting her lip. 

"Play with your nipples for me," he told her. "I can't do it myself as I have to keep one hand on the wheel." 

She opened the crossover of her dress, pulling her breasts from her lacy bra and fondling her nipples. Squeezing them gently as he continued to finger her. Her blood rushing to the tips of her nipples turning them purple as she squeezed them with her fingers. 

Gavin watched her play, looking from the road, to her, then back to the road. The sloshing of his fingers told him this was going to be a hard orgasm. He wished he would have pulled over and played with her, so he could fully enjoy her body, and more importantly, her orgasm. 

Her hips lifted up as she pulled the bottom part of her dress up around her hips, setting her bare ass on the cool leather. Her skin sticking a bit as she sat down. He continued to press his fingers into her, developing a rhythm with her lifting hips. Letting his fingers enjoy her warmth. 

"May I cum, Sir?" she asked him, more like begged him she decided, as she heard her voice in the silent cabin. 

"I'm not heartless," he smiled. "Despite your belief from last night! Cum for me, I want to watch your beautiful face in the throes of your bliss!" 

The first orgasm had her gasping as she let it go, her voice cut off as she kept herself from calling out. 

"There is absolutely no reason to be quiet now," he complained at her nearly silent response. "I want to hear you!" 

"Yes Sir!" she said in between ragged breaths as she came down from her orgasm. Her legs sticky with her cum. 

She felt her cum drip down the crack of her butt, not quite a squirt but enough she was glad that she lifted her dress otherwise it would have put a stain on it! She looked to him, saw his profile as he watched the road as he drove. 

He would look over at her and his eyes smiled at her. God she loved the way he looked at her. He always seemed to be devouring her. Or undressing her! Whatever he was doing in his mind when he was looking at her, had her begging herself to let him do whatever he was concocting. 

Today it was fingering her while he drove eighty miles an hour down the highway, last night tying her to the couch and torturing her to give up information. The night before that, the kitchen rack! This man's imagination was like that of Stephen King! It was limitless! Unable to keep bound to any one thought or process. Always able to come up with something else that was mind boggling! 

The second orgasm was already building, she wondered if they would be like that for a while. He had stacked up the cars of her orgasm like a train last night, one right after another. Waiting at the station for the conductor to let them loose. 

He did. 

She came with a squirt the second time, it shot out of her hitting the seat with a soft splatter, his hand stopping most of it, thankfully. Otherwise she was sure she would have hit the dashboard! 

The third orgasm fell from her immediately after, almost consecutive with no ebbing. It twisted her body even though she fought to keep herself open and let him work his fingers in her, bringing more from her if he desired. But she couldn't, her body folded up as the muscles in her contracted tightly. 

She trapped his hand in the folds of her body, as it overwhelmed her. When it finally released her she sat back as quickly as she could, her body flopping against the seat. Her chest heaving as she tried to control it and bring in breaths to fill her lungs. 

Her nipples out, the warmth of the car wasn't enough to keep the chill of the outside air from tightening them even more as she clutched the seat. 

Gavin slowed his fingers, not quite stopping, but easing his urging of her body to cum. The loud blast of the semi's horn next to them had her looking to the window. She saw the driver looking down at her and she covered her body quickly with her dress and turned her body towards Gavin. 

Her face flushed with heat from her embarrassment, the driver honking his approval of what he saw, whether that was just her breasts or her powerful orgasm as she didn't even try to hide, when it took over her. 

She looked to Gavin and saw him slip his fingers into his mouth to clean them off, she shucked her seatbelt and covered his lips with hers, her dress not falling quickly enough giving the driver next to them more of a show. He honked again as she passionately kissed Gavin's lips, her tongue forcing her way into his mouth to catch some of her essence in his mouth. 

When she stopped she buried her face into his neck and laughed embarrassedly, she heard the motor rev up and knew Gavin was speeding up to elude the semi driver they had just entertained. 

She adjusted the dress down after taking some Kleenex from her purse and cleaning herself as best she could. The seat needed attention as well. It made her blush and she shook her head at the idea of cumming in a public place where at least one other person possibly witnessed her orgasm. 

"What do you think he is thinking right now?" she asked him as she looked in the passenger side mirror to see the distance put in between them. 

"Probably the same thing I think every time I see you cum," Gavin said firmly. "That is the most beautiful woman in the world!" 

"The things you say," she whispered as she took his hand in hers. "Not a poet! HA!" 

*** 

Pulling up to the hotel Gavin looked at it. He looked to Alex with a grin. 

"Ok," she smiled. "It's not the Drake!" she defended. "We are a small town!" 

"I get that," he nodded. "But good God!" 

He looked at the one story hotel, the rooms side by side with no inside access. You pulled your car up to your door basically and walked into your room. It needed a good paint job as most of the current blue paint was faded to almost a powder blue. 

"Hey!" she playfully pushed him. He got out smiling with her as she waited for him. Opening the door he held his hand to her and she took it. 

Once she was out he kissed her lips in apology for his teasing. 

"You are going to have to do better than that!" she told him when he left her lips. He moved closer, pushing her to the car. 

"Shall we give another show?" he asked her with a twisted wicked grin. She blushed as she could almost hear the semi horn in her head. 

"Maybe we should just take our show indoors and please each other there!" she suggested. 

"Party pooper," he teased. 

He moved away from her and went inside the office with its bright neon sign claiming vacancy. 

"Good afternoon," he said to the clerk. 

"Good afternoon," she smiled back, admiring him even though Alex stood just off to the side in full view of what was going on. 

"We have reservations," he told her. "Dr. Gavin Steward." 

"Yes," the woman smiled. "A doctor!" She quizzed disbelievingly. 

"Yes, Ma'am," he said with a shake of his head. He looked to Alex who looked upon the woman coolly. 

Getting their keys he signed the corresponding paperwork as the clerk ran his credit card. 

"Oh, I'm going to have to start digging holes!" Alex growled once she was back into the car glaring at the woman from inside her Mercedes. 

"Easy now," Gavin laughed. "These are your people!" 

"That one wasn't!" Alex said defiantly. "There are just over a thousand people in this town, and I know them all! I don't know that bitch, so she isn't from here!" 

Gavin dropped the bags on the bed and looked around. Definitely not the Drake, with its spacious rooms and opulent furniture. This one was small, and the covers looked like they were from the eighties. The desk looked like it was well past its prime. There was a small cubical fridge just to the side of the TV stand. It hummed noisily as Gavin looked at it. He kicked it gently with his foot and it sputtered slightly before it continued its noise. 

He sat down, and bounced on the bed. 

"Least the beds feel comfy!" he smiled. 

"C'mon," she smiled. "Let me show you around town before I take you to see the folks!" 

"Deal," he smiled. 

Walking around town, they held hands and she pointed out the sights. There weren't many to see, just a typical small town, with its center courthouse being the main attraction. Walking out of the coffee shop after picking up something to warm them up they ran into someone Alex vaguely recognized. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 25



"Alex?" the lady asked looking at her carefully. "Alex Lasko?" 

"Stephanie?" Alex smiled as the name clicked. 

"How are you? I thought you moved to Pittsburg or something!" Stephanie said giving Alex a hug before turning her eyes to Gavin who nodded a hello to her. 

"Chicago actually," Alex told her. "I'm home for the holidays!" 

"Awesome!" Stephanie smiled. 

"Steph, this is Dr. Gavin Steward," Alex said introducing them. "My boyfriend." 

"Doctor?" Stephanie smiled with a surprised uptick of her eyebrow. 

"Yes," he nodded with a soft smile. 

It was getting harder to not laugh, as so far, every person she introduced him to, had the same response, one of disbelief. He didn't know if he looked like he couldn't be a doctor or that they didn't believe Alex had a doctor. Either way it was starting to wear on him, and his patience, as it could be construed as an insult. 

"So what are you doing in Chicago?" Stephanie asked tearing her eyes of Gavin, which Alex noted took some effort. 

"Well I'm an artist," Alex shrugged. "I have been teaching too." 

"An artist?" Stephanie asked with a scoff. 

"She is quite good," Gavin defended picking up the derision. "She did a mural at the Chicago Expo that drew rave reviews, was seen by just over a million people." 

"No shit?" Stephanie gasped in disbelief. 

Alex nodded that what he said was the truth. Happy that her gallant knight had come to her defense. 

"Small town girl makes good, huh?" Stephanie admired. Alex shrugged. 

"Stephanie," came a voice from behind Alex who turned to see who it was. "Oh my God! Alex!" 

"Megan," Alex forced a smile. "How are you?" 

"I'm good! How are you? I thought you moved to Philly or something?" Megan asked. 

"Chicago," Alex said with a shake of her head. She could see there were multiple stories floating around about her. She was sure there were multiple stories of failures as well as Stephanie had seemed shocked that there was some success. 

"Yeah?" Megan nodded. 

"She is an accomplished artist there! Has done stuff for the city that a million people has seen!" Stephanie chimed in, relishing in the surprised look Megan gave. 

"I have done some stuff for the Chicago Expo, it's a fair the city puts on, kind of like the World's fair, I guess," Alex explained. "I have sold some stuff in a gallery there as well." 

"Wow! That's great!" Megan smiled, her voice betraying her actual feelings. It couldn't be more false if she just came out and said she thought Alex was the greatest thing since sliced bread. 

"Megan," Alex said dismissing her tone. "This is my boyfriend, Gavin Steward." The two shook hands. 

"Doctor...Steward," Stephanie chimed in. 

"Doctor?" Megan gasped, now she was stunned. 

She never would have thought that Alex Lasko would have made a name for herself, let alone land a doctor. The dorky high school girl who was always covered in paint, or dark charcoal dust. Her fingers blackened by her art. Smudges on her face as she was always more interested in her drawings than her appearance. 

"Wow," Gavin grinned. "I'm going to have to move here, you guys are making it sound like being a doctor is a big deal!" 

This got the three girls to laugh. Alex looked to Stephanie who gave her a wink that they both enjoyed that Megan was sufficiently jealous. The former prom queen was jealous of Alex. 

"Well," Megan smiled. "It was nice to meet you Dr. Steward, and Alex congrats on the success! I'm home to Derrick! You remember him? Derrick Stuppolo? We got married shortly after high school!" 

"Wow!" Alex smiled trying to hide her amusement at the obvious ploy Megan was now employing. Rubbing it in that the boy everybody in their class wanted was now her husband. Alex had a thing for him, but that was then, when she didn't know any better. "High school cheer captain marries High School quarterback! That's like every girl's dream!" 

"That or a doctor!" Stephanie countered, continuing to turn the screws on Megan. 

Megan waved goodbye without responding and walked away quickly. 

"What total bullshit!" Stephanie gasped moving closer to Alex. "I know for a fact her beloved husband is still sitting in jail from his drunk and disorderly from last night!" 

"What?" Alex laughed covering her mouth. 

"Yep," Stephanie nodded. "Seems Derrick is still living in the past, telling whoever will listen about his guidance of the team to the state semi-finals! Got into an argument with a guy at the bar, fight ensued." 

"Well," Gavin nodded with a bemused smile. "It's tough for elite athletes like ourselves to let go of our glory years!" 

"When were you ever an elite athlete?" Alex laughed thinking he was joking. 

"Baby, I had a full ride scholarship to Northwestern in hockey!" Gavin said semi-proudly. "Led the league!" 

"In scoring?" Alex asked stunned that he hadn't brought it up sooner. 

"No," he laughed. "Penalty minutes! Seems I had a bit of a temper back then!" This got the girls to laughing before Stephanie said her goodbyes. 

*** 

Alex sat in the car, staring at her old house. Gavin waited patiently. He had started to get out when they first arrived but Alex hadn't budged. He closed the door and looked to her. He could see the clouds of disappointment and indecision on her face. He did nothing, he said nothing for the longest time, just waiting for her to come to grips with what was forthcoming. 

"We can't just sit here," Gavin pointed out softly. "Sooner or later we have to get out." 

"Can we just drive back to Chicago?" Alex asked him. "I mean we were here and all, just because we didn't go in doesn't mean anything, does it?" 

She looked to him with a forced smile. She knew better, but she wanted to turn back the hands of time and go back to where she suggested this visit and keep her damn mouth shut! 

"I'm going in," Gavin finally said. 

"Have fun," Alex huffed. He looked to her with a shake of his head. 

"I will carry you in, kicking and screaming if I have to!" Gavin threatened. 

He hopped out and walked around to her side of the car with her watching with her own mischievous grin coming out. When he got to her door she locked it. This caused him to double over in laughter. She looked to him innocently, batting her eyelashes. 

He held up the key chain and pushed the button unlocking the door. He opened it and she let out a deep sigh as she undid her seatbelt. Helping her from the car she scowled at him. 

"Just remember, this is your family!" he pointed out. 

"Don't remind me!" she said as he took her face in his hands. 

"What are you so worried about?" he asked her. "Your mother and I have already drawn blood, so it's not like it could get any worse!" 

"You obviously don't know my family!" Alex told him with a disbelieving laugh. 

"Then why did you want to come?" Gavin asked her. 

"My Dad," Alex shrugged. "Can we just see him and leave the others out of it?" 

"Sorry," he said. "Kind of a package deal, like me and you." She tilted her head at him and smiled. 

"Again," she shrugged. "Absolutely perfect!" 

Knocking on the door, he gave her a wink of encouragement. She twisted a smile and nodded her appreciation. 

"Why on earth are you knocking on the door to your home?" her father asked as soon as he opened the door. 

"Dad," she shook her head at the instant teasing he was giving her. "I haven't lived here in years!" 

"Still your home!" he said firmly. "As long as I breathe anyway!" She nodded as she hugged him, inhaling his Old Spice making her feel like she was at home, back in her childhood. 

"Gavin!" Al smiled at him. "Thank you so much for bringing her home for the holidays!" 

"The pleasure was all mine," Gavin said shaking his hand. 

They were ushered in and Marylyn came around the corner to greet them. 

"Marylyn," Gavin said offering his hand which she accepted with a polite smile. 

"Mom," Alex said with a slight hug. The tone was impossible to miss. 

"Well, Gavin," Marylyn smiled. "Thank you for coming to visit us during this special time of year!" 

"Thanks for letting me," Gavin nodded. 

"I really wasn't aware you both were coming in until this morning," Marylyn said looking to her husband with a quick angry look. 

"You didn't tell her?" Alex asked him. He shrugged. 

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Al laughed. "It will be the first time in years that the whole family was together!" 

"Livy!" Alex called out when she saw her. 

"Alex!" the woman smiled coming down the stairs and embracing her. 

"You look fantastic!" Alex beamed. 

"As do you!" Livy gasped looking her over. "Look at that dress!" She marveled as she held Alex's hands out to see the full dress. "Never pictured you as a dress girl! Overalls yes! Sweatpants absolutely! But a dress?" 

"Already starting with me are you?" Alex laughed. She stared at her for a few moments before Livy looked around her to Gavin. 

"Oh! Sorry!" Alex smiled turning to put her arm around Livy. "Olivia," she said formally. "This is my boyfriend, Gavin." 

The two shook hands with pleasant smiles. 

"Gavin, this is sister number three, Livy!" Alex said hugging the woman with one arm. 

"Nice to meet you," Gavin said politely. 

"I've heard a lot about you," Livy smiled. "Dr. Steward." 

"Gavin," he said quickly. 

"Of course!" Livy smiled as she looked to her sister and embraced her again. This time more tightly, more lovingly. 

"You ok?" Alex asked her softly from within the embrace. 

"Yes and no," Livy said not letting go of her baby sister. "A lot to talk about...but not now!" 

The two separated and stared at one another. Alex searched her sister's face for whatever news she had but could get no inclination as to what she had to say. 

"Well," Marylyn smiled. "If I would have known you guys were coming I would have moved Nora out of your old room so you could have that and Gavin could stay in the guest room." 

"No," Alex said shaking her head with a frown. Leave it to her mother to divulge Livy's news in the most embarrassing form possible. In front of a man Livy had known all of thirty seconds. 

Now she knew what needed to be talked about. If Livy and her daughter Nora were living here, that meant that the marriage to Don was crumbling. 

"Gavin and I are staying at the hotel," Alex told them. She gave her sister a comforting squeeze that Livy understood. 

"Nora can stay where she is!" Alex sighed as she smiled happily at her sister. She hadn't realized how much she missed her until she got here. "She's got the best room in the house!" 

"Staying in the same room, I suppose?" Marylyn said with disproval dripping from her lips. 

"Of course," Alex said with a wink at Livy. "Wouldn't want to disappoint you by not giving you something to gripe at me about!" 

Alex hugged her sister again and Livy smiled that once again, just like their childhood, Alex drew their mother's ire towards her and away from the other sisters. Something Livy took for granted, but now knew the sacrifice Alex made. 

*** 

Gavin and Al walked around the supermarket together. Picking up last minute items that Marylyn needed. It was more of an excuse to get rid of the men so the women could chat. Both men knew the ploy so they shrugged to one another and left. 

Getting into Alex's Mercedes, Gavin let Al drive. 

"It's your town, you know where you are going!" Gavin insisted when Al balked at the idea of driving the car. 

"So how much trouble are you in for not telling your wife we were coming?" Gavin asked as they walked around the store. 

"Nothing I'm not used to!" Al chuckled. "I'm sure Livy will be happy that Alex is here, Alex was always able to draw Marylyn's temper to her instead of the other girls! Marylyn has been on Livy something fierce!" 

"Anything I can help with?" Gavin offered. 

"Not unless you are a divorce lawyer!" Al frowned. He looked to Gavin with an embarrassed shrug. 

"Not uncommon in today's world," Gavin told him comfortingly. "Unfortunate, but not uncommon. I know several good ones if you need one...lawyers that is." 

"No," Al shook his head. "She isn't sure what she wants to do yet, I think she should drop the bum, Marylyn is dead set against it!" 

"Well, she is religious," Gavin defended. "They don't believe in divorce." 

"Livy has put up with his chasing skirts long enough!" Al growled. "Let the bum go and get his rocks off without breaking my girl's heart!" 

Gavin nodded that he agreed, but he didn't want to stir up Al any more than he already was. 

*** 

Alex looked at Livy with sorry eyes. Her sister was sitting in the porch swing as she came out with her cup of coffee. 

"So," Alex started. 

"So," Livy repeated. "Long story or short?" 

"Livy," Alex sighed. "I'm your sister, just talk to me!" 

Livy nodded as she stared at the birds picking at the bird seed she had just tossed out to feed them. 

"How long?" Alex asked her. 

"How long have I been here? Or how long have we been having trouble?" Livy asked her. 

"Both," Alex demanded. 

"I found out Don was cheating, two years ago, the first time that is," Livy exhaled deeply. "We went to the church, like Mom told us to. Prayed like Mom told me to." 

Alex rubbed her shoulder before putting her arm around her. 

"I thought we had gotten through it," Livy said after some silence. "Found out he was still cheating about two months ago, the hard way!" 

"Did you catch him in the act?" Alex gasped as she thought how horrible that would be. 

"No," Livy said shaking her head as the tear came out. "She came to the house, and told us she was pregnant. She and Don had a huge fight right there in the living room, in front of Nora and me!" 

"Oh my God!" Alex gasped as she thought about her niece having to bear witness to it all. 

"I wanted to get up and run from the room, but I was just so stunned!" Livy explained. 

"Oh baby," Alex said taking her into her arms. "I bet you were!" 

"Nora is with him tonight," Livy explained. "Opening the gifts from him at the house...with her!" 

"What?" Alex asked. 

"When the tests came back and Don was indeed the father, that he had insisted to me that he wasn't, I moved out, he moved her in because he didn't want her to be out in the cold with a baby!" Livy said angrily. 

"What about you?" Alex asked her temper flaring. It made Livy smile. She was happy she had an ally. Something in short supply in this house. 

"I moved in here and haven't heard the end of it!" Livy explained. 

"Mom doesn't expect you to stay with the son of a bitch!" Alex nearly yelled. 

"She is only worried about what the church will say, so on Sundays we show up, put our little happy faces on and pretend!" Livy cried. "I always feel like God should strike me down for the lies! The worst part is, she goes to our church! I have to sit there and look at the bitch and be nice!" 

Alex closed her eyes tightly shut and it forced the tears from her own eyes. Living the lie, so that her mother can save face. Surely God didn't want that! If so, she would change her religion! 

Livy went for a walk to clear her head and Alex sat on the porch and stewed for a few minutes. When she could stand it no longer she stormed into the house and found her mother making dinner. 

"How dare you!" Alex raged. 

"What?" her mother asked surprised at the sudden intrusion of anger. 

"Forcing her to pretend to be a family?" Alex clarified. "What kind of bullshit is that?" 

"Watch your language!" Marylyn fired back. 

"Watch your hypocrisy!" Alex yelled. "What kind of God would find your behavior tolerable?" 

"How dare you!" her mother suddenly raged. "You are not here! You are in Chicago living in sin!" 

"Let he who is free from sin, cast the first stone!" Alex said, her anger seething. 

"Don't pretend to spout a verse from our Lord and call yourself a Christian!" her mother continued to rage. 

"Don't pretend, for one second, God hasn't judged you already," Alex said her face draining. "I might be living in sin, but I'm in love, the Lord has filled me with it, he has given me Gavin! You kneel and put on the face of Christianity but its false, you are worse that a whore...at least Jesus forgave one of those! He will never forgive those who bear false witness!" 

"How dare you speak to me that way?" Marylyn turned on her. 

"Enough," Al said louder than either one of them had been. "This is Christmas! I will not have you two at each other's throat the entire time!" 

Gavin went to Alex and put his hands on her shoulders and found them shaking. She turned and buried her face into him. 

"Dad," Alex said softly. "I'm sorry." 

"Look," Al said calmer now. "We haven't shared a Christmas together in so long, just make it my Christmas present, huh?" 

She nodded to him and went and hugged him. He held her face softly. 

"Livy will work out her own problems," Al told her firmly. "They are not your problems." 

"That's where you are wrong," Alex shook her head. "We are sisters, her problems are my problems. She would never stand up to mother the way I would, but somebody needs to stand up for her!" She turned to her mother. 

"Have you even thought of the psychological damage you are doing to either of them?" Alex asked her. 

"Don and Livy are adults," Marylyn frowned. "They can handle it!" 

"I don't give a fuck about Don! I'm talking about Livy and Nora!" Alex gasped. "The damage you are forcing on them for you charade is immeasurable!" 

"It's not your problem, like your father said!" Marylyn reminded her. "You'll go back to Chicago and live in your fantasy land thinking God is ok with your lifestyle because you think you are in love!" Marylyn said with her claws mimicking air quotes on the word love. 

"You are...an absolutely horrible person! A complete monster!" Alex gasped as the tears fell. Marylyn looked upon her stunned that her daughter would say that to her. "I used to think it was just me, but it isn't...it's just you!" 

Alex fled the room in tears. Gavin looked to Al who was crying himself. 

"Al," Gavin said softly. "We'll see you tomorrow, I think it might be better for a cooling off period." 

"I agree," Al whispered. "But, we will see you tomorrow?" 

"Absolutely," Gavin said firmly. "It's Christmas." 

*** 

Gavin laid on the bed, the remote in his hand as he flipped through the channels. He had the volume on low as he tried to decide on what to watch. His mind thinking of the pain Alex was feeling. To come to the realization she had tonight was a long fall to recover from. 

Through the time they spent with her parents earlier in the summer, Gavin had come to think the woman was just awful. The monster Alex had claimed. Marylyn seemed to rip Alex at every turn, something Alex did her best to fend off. There were many times in which he wanted to just order the woman from his home. Alex always wound up gritting her teeth and looking to her father. It seemed the only reason she was even trying was for him. 

He had listened at the bathroom door, she had said she wanted a shower before bed. In reality she had sat in there and cried with the shower camouflaging her tears. He almost went in to comfort her, but decided to let her cry it out. It hurt him to hear her cry. It angered him. He wanted to drive over to the house and rip into Marylyn. To eviscerate her, but he knew that would only make this Christmas harder on Alex. 

The shower turning off made him settle on the movie "A Christmas Story". Little Ralphie standing there in that hideous pink bunny outfit. The mother on the show reminded him of his own mother. Not just in looks, but in the way she handled things. From the soap in the mouth, to covering for him from his father. He chuckled at the scene as he thought of Pavy, he definitely would have been the kid who stuck his tongue to the flag pole! 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 25



He was thankful that he had a mother that was so unlike Marylyn in most instances. He thought of what his mother would have done to Marylyn had she gone after Alex in her presence. His mother would had held nothing back, he wasn't lying when he said she would have adored Alex. She would have, and because he loved her, that would have been enough for his mother to defend Alex as her own. 

Alex came in in a robe that stopped mid-thigh. She knelt at the side of the bed in the submissive pose. He looked at her for a few seconds. Her desire to become a true submissive for him had him shaking his head. He saw her eyes and they were betraying her and her tears, as they were reddened and puffy. She was doing her best to keep them from him, but she shouldn't have bothered. If she truly understood his Dom, she wouldn't have tried. 

"Come to bed Little One," he said softly. 

"Dressed or undressed," she asked before she stood. 

"Dressed," he told her. 

She rose and pulled her robe off dropping it on the floor revealing herself in a spaghetti strap camisole top and matching silk bottoms. She got into bed under the covers and he guided her head to his stomach where she laid her cold wet hair on his skin causing him to flinch slightly. 

"Sorry," she whispered. 

"Just a little cold," he smiled as he began to stroke her hair. 

"No," she whispered. "For embarrassing you." 

"How did you do that?" He asked her. 

"As a sub, I'm a reflection of my Dom," Alex admitted. "I should treat people the way you would treat them. I know there is no way you would have spoken to your mother like that, or anyone like that. I failed you." 

"Where did you hear that?" Gavin asked her. 

"When you had me on my quest," Alex said softly. "I was talking to Kelly and some of her friends that were also in the life...I found I wasn't doing anything like a submissive." 

"Look at me," he demanded. She turned over and he hit the mute on the TV. "Explain." 

"They were going over what a good submissive does," Alex shrugged. "I wasn't doing any of them!" 

"Tell me what a good submissive does," Gavin said to her. 

"Well, the first one which causes me to believe I'm doomed, is patience," Alex shrugged. This caused Gavin to chuckle with the way she said it. She smiled. 

"What else did they tell you?" he asked her. 

"Oh God! The list of what I'm not doing is endless!" Alex frowned looking up and shaking her head. "The two biggies I guess, is respect and grace." 

"Respect and grace?" Gavin quizzed. 

"I was told, how I treat others was a sign of my Dom, if I showed respect then it looked good upon you, if I was disrespectful then...," Alex let a lone tear fall. "And we won't even get into my lack of grace!" 

Alex continued on with the list of things that were believed to be good qualities of a sub. 

"Look," Gavin said with a shake of his head when she was finished. "Nobody can be all those things! It's impossible! If you did those things, you wouldn't be human, you would be a robot!" 

Alex looked up at him confused. 

"Alex," Gavin said sitting up to where she was kneeling in the submissive position in the bed. He stroked her face. 

"Yes, you should strive to be all those things," Gavin admitted. "But you can't be that at all times! That isn't you." 

"I want it to be me," Alex told him. "I want to be a great sub for you! I want to be something you are proud of!" 

"Whoa! When have I ever said I wasn't proud to have you by my side?" Gavin asked her. 

"The girls indicated I wasn't a true submissive," Alex pointed out. 

Gavin let his head fall back as he thought about it. He lifted it slowly. 

"Do you know why I violated my absolute and took you in?" Gavin asked her. She shook her head and shrugged at the same time. "It was because you did something for me that no other sub had done." 

"What was that?" Alex asked him. "Piss you off?" This caused him to laugh. 

"No," he smiled. "You challenged me. Not in an insubordinate way, but in like climbing a mountain way. You gave me a goal." The look she gave him told him she was not understanding. "That is what a Dom and sub should do for one another above all else, challenge each other!" 

"Do you remember when you first sat at my table?" he asked her about their first night. "You sat there and told me you had absolutely no experience as a submissive, your one idea of it was a farce!" She nodded that she was following along. 

"I'll admit, sitting there at that table I was thinking of all the delicious things I wanted to do to you, all of the fun I could have with your body," he admitted to her softly. 

"Then the Dom in me said, this isn't your sub, this young lady would be unlike any sub you have had before," he told her. "The man in me wanted you for sexual gratification, purely physical. My Dom wanted you for the challenge. The emotional challenge. That challenge was to show you what this life really is, to guide you into becoming an excellent sub." 

"Every sub I have owned had those qualities they told you about," Gavin continued. "But you had a spirt none of them had, that is why it is so important to me that you don't lose who you are. That's the challenge, to keep you who you are, but keep you as my sub. I wouldn't want it any other way!" 

"Strive for those things, but know, you won't be that person all the time," Gavin shrugged. "And that is ok, we all fail, I fail as a Dom, but I always try to be better." 

"Funny," Alex frowned. "When they described the perfect Dom, you had every one of those qualities!" 

"I've been in this life for years," Gavin pointed out. "I wasn't like this in the beginning. I had some of the traits, sure, but I had to work on them. Just like you have to! Do not let your setbacks become all you see. You have made great strides...see? As a Dom I have failed you." 

"How do you figure?" Alex snapped. 

"I wasn't complimenting your progress, letting you know that you were doing well!" Gavin told her. "As a Dom I'm supposed to tell you those things. Like when you came in here just now, you went into the submissive position. I didn't tell you 'good girl' for that! I should have, to let you know that you are doing a great job. No, I took it for granted. Not exactly good Dom behavior. That's because every other sub I have owned had already mastered that, you are a novice, but you are so perfect that I forget you are a novice." 

"Oh yes, my Alexandria," Gavin smiled kissing her lips. "You are a challenge, you have challenged me to be a better Dom, and just like you, I'm trying to improve. If you had never come along, I never would have been forced to improve. See that is the key, to challenge one another to be better. It's not just in the BDSM world, it's in the vanilla world as well, we should challenge each other as a couple, as lovers, as friends and as humans." 

"Thank you Sir," she smiled as she kissed his lips. She pushed him back to the bed and laid her head on his stomach again. Returning to the simple pleasure of his hands in her hair. 

"Have you ever noticed," Gavin said softly. "That it is easier to give respect to a total stranger than to people we know?" 

She tilted her head to look at him. 

"Take me for example," Gavin told her. "I open doors for perfect strangers, manners yes, but it's also respect, given freely because that is the way I was raised." She nodded that she understood what he was saying. 

"My guess is that you lack of respect for your mother is well earned," Gavin told her. "She earned that for her lack of respect for the things you believe in. Your art, yourself, your friends...your father." Alex nodded and turned back to the TV. Gavin understood her completely. He also washed away her guilt from the day. 

"There is one thing I want you to consider though," he continued. 

"What is that," she asked. 

"You still need to respect your mother," he told her. 

"Because she gave birth to me?" Alex asked. 

"No," Gavin told her firmly. "Because of your father. If you respect him, you must respect her." 

"Why?" Alex fired at him. 

"Because he loves her," Gavin explained. "You are disrespecting him if you don't at least act cordially to her. This is the woman he loves, she may have lost the respect, but he obviously hasn't, so if you respect him, show him, by treating her the way he would want her treated." 

"I pity anyone who knows me that treats you with anything less the utmost respect! The wrath that would rain down on them would make them regret even being born," he said solemnly. 

*** 

Gavin pulled up along the road, there was cars parked in the driveway unlike the day before. 

"Looks like the rest of the sisters are here," Alex frowned. 

She was dreading going in after the day before. Most of the time when she and her mother fought there was time in between seeing each other again. Sometimes it was years! It all depended on how awful the fight was. 

"Are you ready?" Gavin asked her softly. 

She sat looking at the door, she didn't want to go in. She wanted to go back to Chicago and spend the holidays with Gavin. Alone. This was such a monumental mistake. She wouldn't be surprised that Gavin didn't pull a Lena and refuse to come back for the way her family acted. 

She saw a little face pressed to the window and that made her smile. Little Nora was peering out. 

"Seems like the advance scout has spotted us," Gavin pointed out. 

"Nothing gets past Nora," Alex grinned. "We had better go in, otherwise she will be out here, barefoot in the snow!" 

"Ok," he smiled. 

He walked around the car and just as he got her door opened the front door to the house opened. 

"Aunt Alex!" the little girl screamed as she ran out of the house leaving the front door standing wide open. 

"Absolutely not!" Alex barked at her. "You go back in before you get pneumonia!" 

Nora disregarded her command and came out in a full sprint. 

"Oh, so it's a family trait," Gavin deadpanned noticing the little girl did not slow down, let alone adhere to the command. 

Nora split them as she leapt into Alex's arms with a squeal. Gavin shucked his coat and draped it over her to protect her from the single digit cold. 

"I've missed you!" Nora blurted. "Can I have your colors from your room and your paints? Can I have the horse picture? And the one with the butterflies?" 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Alex beamed hugging the girl. "Slow down!" 

"Another family trait," Gavin teased. Alex glanced at him for his teasing. 

"Who is that?" Nora asked looking at him for the first time. 

"This is my boyfriend," Alex said proudly. 

"You have a boyfriend?" Nora asked. 

"Well don't sound so surprised!" Alex laughed as she spun Nora in a circle making her laugh. 

"His name is Gavin," Alex said when she was done spinning. She looked up to see Livy on the porch. 

"She has been dying to see you," Livy called out. "Her favorite aunt!" 

Alex started to carry the little girl in, pulling Gavin's coat tighter around her to protect her from the cold. 

"I have a boyfriend too!" Nora whispered in her ear. "His name is Greggory, but don't tell mom!" 

"Our secret!" Alex whispered back kissing her cheek which brought a kiss in return. 

"Hi Gavin," Livy laughed as he came up the steps. "Sorry for the attack of the munchkin!" 

"No problem at all," Gavin assured her. "I haven't seen Alex smile like that in a while, so it's worth it." 

Alex set her down on the floor as soon as they were inside. 

"I can't believe you came out without a coat!" Alex finally took the time to chastise her. "You could have gotten sick." 

"Aunt Alex! I had my boots on!" Nora said like that was all she needed to fend off any illness. 

"Not good enough!" Alex warned her dropping to her knees to warm Nora up with her rubbing of the little girl's arms. "Is it Dr. Steward?" 

"No, it really isn't," Gavin agreed. "It's like walking in sub-zero wind chills from the train! In a sleet!" 

"Not helping," Alex pointed out what he was getting at. 

"Wasn't trying to," Gavin said firmly. 

"Never going to live that one down am I?" Alex asked snuggling her niece. 

"No," he said plainly. 

"You are a doctor?" Nora asked him. He nodded. "You must be really smart!" 

"Some people think so, but some people treat me like I'm dumb!" Gavin pointed to Alex who had her back to him so she didn't see it. 

"You think Gavin is dumb?" Nora asked her. 

"What?" Alex coughed out, she looked behind her at him. 

"Ask her, when she had pneumonia, who was trying to convince me that I didn't know how sick she was?" Gavin teased. 

"Don't listen to him," Alex tried. "He just likes to give me a hard time!" 

"You should spank him then!" Nora suggested with a smile. "Daddy says that's what bad boys and girls get!" 

Gavin barked out a laugh which he covered and looked to Alex. 

"Oh please don't," Gavin said dryly. Alex blushed red and didn't look back. 

"Merry Christmas!" Al called out to her when he came into the hallway. Alex went to him and hugged him tightly. 

"Merry Christmas," she said within his embrace. "I'm sorry for last night." She whispered while he still held her. "I will behave today, I promise! For you!" 

"You are my little girl," Al smiled pulling back. "You never have to apologize to me!" 

"Yes I do," Alex said. "I love you." 

"I love you," Al said kissing her cheek. "C'mon in the kids have been dying to open the gifts!" 

Alex coming into the living room brought out another round of semi hugs from her sisters and their children and husbands. Gavin was introduced and all had the same lifted eyebrows look of pleasant surprise. Alex clutched his hand with one hand, and held Nora on her hip with the other. 

Nora refused to be put down and every time her mother would try, Alex would shoo her away. 

"So let's get to it!" Al called out from the living room where the tree was. 

The kids needed no other encouragement as they ran to the room. Gavin followed Alex in as she talked with Nora about the gifts she got at her father's the night before. 

While Gavin sat on the couch, Alex sat at his feet with Nora. The kids tore into the gifts opening them in a frenzy. Alex watched with pride as her nieces and nephews opened her gifts. Each and every one of them looked shocked at the gifts they had been presented with. Each looked to her in pleasured thank yous. 

"Oh my God!" her eldest nephew gasped as he looked into his box. 

"Trevor!" his mother immediately admonished his blasphemy. 

"An autographed Sid the Kid jersey?" Trevor gasped pulling it out reverently. 

"You still play, right?" Alex asked basking in his response. He nodded. "Still wearing his number?" He nodded again as he stared at the black and gold hockey jersey. 

"You should thank Gavin," Alex smiled at him. "He is the one that got his autograph on it." 

"You met Sidney Crosby?" Trevor asked moving closer to Gavin. 

"Yeah," Gavin shrugged. "I know most of the Blackhawks, some are patients of mine. I had asked them if they would get it autographed for you, but they told me to come down to the United Center and get it. Sid had a bad chest cold, so I gave him something for it, got a lot of ribbing for it because he went out and had two goals and an assist! They said I wasn't allowed to treat opponents until after the game!" Gavin laughed causing Trevor to laugh with him. 

"What's he like?" Trevor asked. 

"Good guy, funny," Gavin told him with a shrug. "A guy to look up to for sure." 

"Wow! You met Sid the Kid!" Trevor couldn't believe it. "Thanks Aunt Alex!" He said hugging her. "This is by far the greatest Christmas ever!" He gently put the jersey on and sat down. 

"Princess dresses!" Nora shrieked above all the commotion. "Belle's dress! Ariel! Anna and Elsa!" Nora abandoned them all to jump into Alex's arms. 

"How did you know?" Nora asked her. 

"I had a little elf tell me," Alex smiled looking at Livy. 

"I said one," Livy pointed out. "Not all of them!" 

"I couldn't decide which princess she would be, so I got them all so she could be them all!" Alex said accepting Nora's loving kiss. 

"Go give this one to Grandpa!" Alex whispered handing Nora an envelope after she put on one of her dresses. 

Nora went over and handed the envelope to Al who bowed to her royal highness as he took it. 

"Alex, I told you not to bother," Al warned her. 

"I don't live under your roof anymore," Alex smiled defiantly. 

"Gavin," Al looked to him for help. 

"No way, she's way too mean for me to tangle with!" Gavin laughed. 

Al opened his envelop. 

"Oh Sweetheart! This must have cost you a fortune!" Al said pulling his Steeler tickets out. "Fifty yard line lower bowl?" 

"Just repaying you for all the games you took us to!" Alex told him, her heart floating at his response. 

"We never got these type of seats!" Al gasped. 

"It's time," Alex smiled. 

Gavin patted her on her shoulder for a job well done and Alex took his hand and kissed it lovingly. 

"Gavin?" Nora called out. "Should I give Alex her gift from you?" 

"Sure," Gavin smiled at her as she picked up the small box. 

Nora ran to her and jumped in her lap, then handed her the box. 

"Want to help me?" Alex asked her. Nora began to help unwrap the paper. Alex stopped when she saw the blue felt jewelry box. 

"Maybe he got you a wedding ring!" Nora said as she saw the box. 

"Easy now!" Gavin warned with a laugh. 

"This is too big for an engagement ring!" Alex smiled kissing her niece for bringing it up. The Cartier label had her frowning at the cost of what was inside. The name alone reminded her of the jewelry counter lady who said that some watches ran in the tens of thousands. 

Nora helped her gently open the box. 

"OH MY GOSH!" Nora gasped. "Are those real diamonds?" Nora asked turning to him. Gavin smiled and winked at her. 

"Jesus," Alex gasped as she looked at it. The watch diamonds sparkled in the light streaming in from the window. The diamonds encircled the watch face and went down the band. "Gavin!" 

"Merry Christmas," he said to her as she moved up to kiss him. 

"I don't want to hear one thing about what I got you!" she threatened. "It doesn't come close to this!" 

"We'll see," Gavin said after staring at her for a few seconds. 

"Kiss her!" Nora suggested. "You have to kiss a girl after you give her diamonds!" 

"Well," Gavin smiled. "I don't want to break protocol!" They kissed gently as Nora squealed. 

Nora then ran back to the tree and tried to lift Gavin's gift while Alex blushed at the way Gavin was looking at her. 

"Gavin!" Nora complained. "Yours must be tools! This is really heavy like tools!" 

"Tools?" Gavin smiled as Alex closed her eyes. 

He nearly laughed out loud, he had already told her he knew nothing of mechanics. So tools was most definitely not in the box. He looked to Alex to watch her close her eyes regretfully. 

This was the moment she had been dreading for weeks now. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but that was before the pneumonia, before the fight, before the commitment to be a proper submissive. This could be very bad!



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 26



Chapter 28 

Alex looked to him with a pleading in her eyes. It was begging him for two things, one, to not be pissed as hell, and two, to keep it. 

"Here let me help you with that Nora," Trevor volunteered. He jumped up and helped Nora carry it to Gavin. 

"She ain't kidding," Trevor laughed. "This is heavy." 

Setting the box down in front of Gavin he looked to Alex and read her perfectly. He shook his head and gave her a wink to agree to both demands in her eyes. She let out a breath of relief. She knew he would love it, it was going to be the price tag that was going to infuriate him. Especially with the fact she could have used the four thousand dollars to purchase a car that wouldn't have left her stranded on the side of the road. 

She then thought back, perhaps if she would have just let him loan her the money for a car this wouldn't be such a torturous moment now. Perhaps if she would have just accepted his help then, she wouldn't have been walking on egg shells for the past month. She wouldn't have had the blowup that nearly ended their relationship. She then smiled and remembered what her father always told her, using his favorite Nietzsche saying, 'That which does not kill us, makes us stronger'. 

Gavin shook his head and looked at little Nora who was watching him intently. 

"I might need a little help here, how about it?" he smiled at her. 

She nodded enthusiastically and began to rip the paper with him. Alex covered her mouth at the way they worked together, Gavin in typical Gavin fashion, precise and careful. Nora more like her, ripping in utter abandon. More like the Tasmanian devil from her cartoons, with paper flying in every direction. 

As soon as it was uncovered Gavin immediately tightened his jaw. Alex didn't miss it and it forced her to hold her breath. Please, please, please! She begged inwardly. 

"Who told you?" Gavin said as carefully as he could. "Madelyn?" 

"Absolutely not!" Alex immediately defended. "It was pure luck!" 

"This is from Raul's shop, is it not?" Gavin asked turning his head to look at her. She was in the submissive pose, he didn't know if that was intentional or not. He shook his head at her and smiled as he looked to the box. Running his fingers over the dark deep wood. 

Alex watched his hand and it reminded her of the way he touched her, exploring and admiring all at once. It told her he was infinitely pleased. 

"It is," Alex smiled, only because he was. "But Lena and I just stumbled on it by accident, we were sent there by a lady at the watch counter at the mall. Once we got to Raul's shop, he guided us to this!" 

"Lena was with you? She let you spend this exorbitant amount of money?" Gavin teased. He was trying to come across as very happy but inside he was livid she spent money that was better spent elsewhere. 

"Well, in her defense, she was against it. I mean we both knew it was perfect, but she knew you would be against the price tag and warned me," Alex said as he began to open the doors and touch the fine amenities. 

"Raul told me this wouldn't be in until after the first of the year!" Gavin remembered softly still trying to figure out how Alex bought him this perfect gift! Somebody had to tell her, if they did, she would never tell him. Then again, her story wouldn't be beyond the realm of possibilities. 

"Serendipitous?" Alex tried with an innocent shrug of her shoulders. "He said it came in early, even he was surprised. I got there a few hours before he was going to call you." 

"It's beautiful!" Nora gasped. "Don't you like it?" She asked Gavin innocently. "Didn't Aunt Alex really do good?" 

"She did fantastic!" Gavin agreed with a hug. "It's just I don't like people spending money on me." Gavin explained. 

"You bought her a diamond watch!" Nora argued for her Aunt, pointing out he bought something as expensive. 

This made Gavin laugh. Hard. He looked to Alex. 

"You have had way too much influence on this one!" he chuckled with a nod at the small curly headed blonde. 

"It comes naturally," Alex shrugged winking at Nora for her defense. "But you do like it?" 

"Like you, I adore it," he smiled kissing her gently. 

Leaning into her ear, "You spent way too much!" 

"Not nearly enough," she whispered back in his as they hugged one another. 

"I love you," he said with a tender kiss on her cheek. She couldn't reply because her voice got stuck in her gasp, as he said it in full view of her family. 

*** 

Alex was outside watching Nora play with her toys, she had switched her Disney dress three times already. Now she was Elsa from 'Frozen'. Trevor was in the street with his hockey jersey playing some street hockey with some of the guys from the neighborhood. 

Livy came out with hot coffee for Alex and stood next to her as they watched the gentle fall of snow flurries in the sky, swirling in the occasional wind. The sky broken with a soft gray overcast, mixed with shards of sunlight that broke through.  

"You went crazy with the gifts," Livy pointed out as she sipped her coffee. 

"I did," Alex admitted. "But I had the money this year, so I splurged." 

"Gavin seems nice," Livy smiled from behind her coffee cup. 

"He's fantastic," Alex corrected. 

"Mom has doubts on him," Livy warned. "She says any man that doesn't go to church can't be very good." 

"Mom has doubts on me, and I haven't set foot in a church other than a wedding in years!" Alex frowned. "So I guess that means I'm not good either!" 

The warning wasn't a surprise. It still hurt, she wanted them to realize just how great Gavin was. How lucky she was to have him. 

"Well I don't know if she put it that way!" Livy teased causing Alex to laugh. 

"She won't like anyone she doesn't pick out," Alex said firmly. Livy nodded as she knew that was the truth. Alex was the first sister that did not marry a man that their mother set up for them. 

For her mother it wasn't about love, it was about a good match, for appearances. Love was something in make believe land. You loved only God, everybody else you got along with and with prayer you were happy with. Livy used to believe that. She used to think Alex was wrong for wanting the fairy tale. 

"Don't let her pick out anyone for you," Livy frowned. "You'll get a Don. Which will make you miserable and loveless. I don't know how I would have made it this far if it wasn't for Nora." 

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, but Livy said nothing, only watching her daughter play with her imaginary friends as they paraded around the snowman in the yard. Something she remembered Alex doing in their childhood. 

"What are you going to do?" Alex asked her putting her arm around her comfortingly. 

"I don't really know," Livy admitted softly as a tear fell. "I hate myself right now." 

"She is going to work it out," said Krista, her oldest sister as she came out, interrupting the conversation. "God forbids divorce." 

"He doesn't forbid it," Alex disagreed. "He just wants marriage to work. It says in the bible she can get a divorce if he fails to honor his wife." 

"It would look bad," Brandy, the second oldest pointed out as she came out behind Krista. 

"Who gives a damn on how it looks?" Alex growled. "Doesn't Livy have a right to be happy? Doesn't she deserve to find someone who appreciates her? Who will love her?" 

"Doesn't her oath to God mean more than one mistake, or one's pride?" Brandy countered. 

"This isn't one mistake," Livy defended. "He has been doing this for two years! And you two have a lot of nerve talking about my pride! All you care about is how this might embarrass you!" 

"This isn't just about you, this is about all of us! So you go to church and get counseling," Krista instructed forcefully, sounding more like Marylyn every day in Alex's mind. "Prayer and with the help of our pastor, this can be resolved." 

"What about the trust?" Alex asked. "Once that is violated it can't be had back fully!" 

"God will fix it if you pray for help," Krista said her voice straining with her anger that she was being challenged. "You just have to have faith that the Lord will give to you in your time of need!" 

"How did that work out that last time?" Livy suddenly raged. "I did that! All of that! Then the bastard goes out and knocks up someone! Even though I've been begging for another child, a child he said we couldn't afford! Why shouldn't I just drop him on his ass? Isn't he disobeying God by not giving me a child? Isn't he disobeying God by not honoring me? Obeying the oath he took in front of God and our family to forsake all others? What about my shame? How does this look on me? Alex doesn't it make me look weak if I take him back?" 

"No," Alex said with a shake of her head. Surprised her sister erupted. Livy was normally so calm, so demure. "You are not weak, but taking him back is not a sign of strength either. In the end, you have to do what is not best for just you, but what is also best for Nora." 

"Have you thought about how that will look on the family?" Brandy asked her. "It's bad enough we have one sister bringing shame on us!" 

"I'm bringing shame on you?" Alex gasped. She anticipated an attack on her as she was on Livy's side, although an attack on her would have come whether she was defending Livy or not, but still hearing it out loud was always a blow. 

"First you try your hand at being a lesbian," Krista pointed out, alluding to the last Christmas she spent here with Lena. "Now you are living with a man, obviously sexually involved, without being married! The entire church knows! They feel sorry for mother that she has to endure the humiliation and she is doing it like a good Christian should." 

Alex let the smile cross her face, it was all she could do. She was shocked beyond words. Lesbian? The church feels for them? 

"What kind of fucking church is so judging?" Alex finally managed to say. "What kind of church dictates based on appearance? Sounds more like a cult to me, the church before family? I don't even live here. Mother is doing what she does best! Trying to get attention or sympathy from any who will listen, the only way she knows how. Telling stories on her bad daughter Alex. It gets attention away from any other problem she's having!" 

"The church is our family," Krista frowned. 

"Bullshit!" Alex growled. "Sounds like you are one step from Westboro type shit! What's next picketing the funerals of fallen heroes?" 

"Typical," Brandy frowned. "We are trying to have an adult conversation and you are acting like a teenager with foul language and a temper tantrum in an attempt to provoke us into a similar response!" 

"Do you even read the Bible?" Alex asked them in shock and dismay. "Perhaps you should pay more attention to what you read. For the ignorant like you, the important stuff is highlighted in red!" 

"The Bible says to honor thy mother and father," Krista pointed out. "She should consider how this will look upon Mom and Dad in the church." Alex closed the gap to her older sister and stood nose to nose with her. Which wasn't the first time. 

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart!" Alex snapped angrily. 

"Make no mistake, God will judge those who do things for the sake of 'appearances' harshly, because they worried about what man thought, instead of what God demanded!" Alex hissed, trying her best not to punch her sister, which wouldn't have been the first time for that either. 

Krista took an uneasy step back, she and been in more than one fist fight with Alex, she had lost every time. It appeared that while they were older, Alex was still a fighter. 

Krista and Brandy looked to one another, neither had a valid retort and it looked like if they pushed Alex too far this would blow up into a physical altercation, Livy had a hand on Alex's arm, but it didn't appear she would help them if Alex went off, so they shrugged and went inside. Alex watched them go and then let her body shake with the anger she felt. Livy's hand on her shoulder calmed her. 

"Thank you," she whispered as she put her arms around Alex. "I now know what hell you went through to get where you are...standing gloriously on your own!" 

"You can do the same," Alex said with a strong smile over her shoulder. 

"I do not have the strength of you and Dad," Livy disagreed. 

"Yes you do," Alex assured her. 

"Are you and Gavin happy?" Livy asked her with a kiss on Alex's cheek. 

"Very," she smiled accepting the loving gesture with closed eyes. 

"Then God has already blessed you," Livy told her. "God only bestows love on the loved!" 

"What I'm about to tell you can never be repeated," Livy said softly. "There was a time when we would sit around and ridicule you. For your desire to be an artist. For your desire to go to Chicago. I know now that Lena was just a friend but mother twisted that into something that served her." 

"I'm sorry little sister," Livy told her through her tears. "I should have protected you, but I didn't. I should have trusted you, but I didn't. I should have listened to you and followed your lead and did what would have made me happy. But I didn't. None of us are happy in our marriages. I'm about to lose mine completely. Krista runs hers like Mother and Brandy treats her husband like shit. Only caring when he brings home his paycheck." Livy laughed without humor as she wiped the tears from her face. 

"Did you know, when he got laid off from his job, she cut him off from sex until he found a new job?" Livy asked Alex. "Is that love? Is that what marriage should be?" 

"No," Alex shook her head. "Love is putting someone else before yourself. Love is going against all common sense when your heart leads the way. For you religious nuts, common sense would have told God to save his Son. Love made him turn away. Love for us sinners." 

Nora's scream caused both women to spin, Nora sat surrounded by bloody snow. Livy and Alex bolted towards the injured girl. 

"Gavin!" Alex screamed as she leapt from the porch. 

Gavin burst through the door with the rest of the family right behind him. Al followed him down the steps of the porch and into the snow. Livy looked to Gavin as she held her crying daughter in her arms. Alex was holding the bleeding hand. 

Gavin dropped to his knees before taking the Nora's injured hand in his. 

"Oh my God Gavin!" Alex gasped as she looked at the blood. Nora was screaming, Livy was crying buckets and trembling in fear at the injury to her daughter. There was just so much blood around them she knew it just had to be the worst of the worst. 

"Alex," Gavin said calmly. "I need you to get my bag from the car, it's in the trunk." Alex nodded and kissed her niece. His voice was a stark contrast to the noise around him. It was soft and firm. Controlled. Despite the chaos that swirled around him like the snow flurries. 

"Olivia," Gavin continued calmly. "Can you carry her or do you want me to?" 

"You," she said shaking, doubting she could move her legs let alone carry her injure daughter. 

Gavin immediately scooped the screaming girl in his arms and carried her towards the house. 

"What happened?" Al asked coming to Gavin's side. 

"Looks like a cut from some broken glass, must have been under the snow and she didn't see it." 

"God dammit," Al growled. "What do you need?" 

"Right now a flat surface, my bag, some bright light and a magnifying glass if you have one," Gavin said as he kissed Nora to comfort her. 

Taking her into the kitchen he set her near the sink. 

"It's going to be ok, baby," Gavin cooed softly as Alex set the bag on the counter. Alex pulled Livy into her arms as she stood near her daughter. 

Gavin opened his bag and pulled out gloves first. He then pulled the tweezers and his flashlight, he put the light in his mouth and held it. 

"Here," Al said bringing his reading magnifier. 

"Hold it just above the cut," Gavin ordered. His voice was firm and confident, which made Alex relax a great deal. Gavin was in complete control, not that she was surprised. Al did as instructed. 

"Ok, Baby," Gavin smiled at her, handing the flashlight to Al, positioning it where he wanted it. "I'm going to flush the cut a bit, not much, but some, I need to make sure there is no more glass, it might hurt just a little, but you are so brave and so strong it won't hurt too bad!" Gavin said touching Nora's cheek as she looked at him. Her tear streaked face pleading for him to make the bitter, sharp, and shooting pain stop. 

"It's ok, Nora," Livy gasped as her little girl looked to her. "It's a good thing Alex fell in love with a doctor!" Livy tried to sound confident, to sound strong. But she wasn't, she hoped she could fool her little girl. Nora smiled and nodded. 

"Such a big girl," Alex chimed in. "Gavin is the best, you are going to be just fine!" 

"Of course she is!" Al said, the group bringing as much strength to the little girl as they could. 

"You guys are crowding me!" Nora complained wiping her face as she watched Gavin work. 

"You are way too much like your aunt!" Gavin smiled as he continued working without taking his eyes off the wound. The adults around the little girl laughed. 

Gavin gently used a syringe to squirt saline solution across the cut, pushing the blood on top off to the side. 

"She still has a piece of glass in there," Gavin said as he squinted using the magnifier and tweezers. "Nora, I need you to be real still here. Show Aunt Alex how tough you are." 

Nora winced but didn't move. 

"Fantastic!" Gavin raved with a smile. "Such a brave girl, would make Princess Merida proud!" Gavin said referencing the Disney princess from the movie 'Brave'. 

Nora smiled at the compliment. 

"Is there any more?" Al asked as he watched Gavin's skillful hands gently pull the glass from the cut. 

"I don't see anymore," Gavin exhaled softly. He irrigated the wound again and adjusted Al's hand to bring the magnifier he was holding closer to Nora's hand. 

"How we doing Princess Merida?" Gavin asked her. She looked to her dress. 

"I have blood all over my new dress that Aunt Alex gave me!" Nora pouted. 

"Well," Livy let out a sigh of relief. "We will wash it real quick before the blood sets in and get it out!" 

"Will it come out?" Nora asked her mother. 

"If not, Alex and I will buy you a new one before we leave," Gavin assured her. This got the little girl to smile that her Christmas present wasn't going to stay ruined. 

Once Gavin was satisfied there were no free floating pieces still in it, he then reached into his bag and pulled out something else. 

"You are going to feel a small pinch here, your Majesty," Gavin smiled. "It's just me, nothing to be worried about!" 

Nora crinkled her nose as the sharp pain came that he warned her about. 

"What is that?" Livy asked. 

"It's called skin glue," Gavin said never taking his concentrating eyes off his task. "Kinda like super glue. The wound is pretty clean, and not very deep, this should close it better than a band aid." 

"Will we need to go to the hospital?" Al asked him. "Stitches?" 

"No, I don't think so, we will have to see," Gavin told him as he finished applying the glue. 

"When was the last time she had a tetanus shot?" Gavin asked. 

"When she went into pre-school," Livy exhaled relieved that it was over. 

"Then no," Gavin said with a shake of his head. "She doesn't need stitches, and she won't need a shot. She will be fine." He stroked Nora's hair softly, Alex watched him carefully, proudly. Admiring the way he was with Nora. So gentle, so loving.  

He was more caring and considerate than any doctor she had ever visited. Most of them were cold. This was much different than the way he treated her that night he came home to find her with pneumonia. Then again, he was really pissed and worried with her then, so he probably went into doctor mode just to stay focused. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 26



"Thanks Uncle Gavin," Nora said looking at her new bandage after he applied a loose gauze around her hand. 

"You're welcome, my Princess," Gavin said with a big bow to her. He helped her off the counter and set her down, smiling at his new title. 

"If you have some children's Tylenol or something like that, she could probably use it, to take the throb out of it," Gavin said to Livy pulling his gloves off. 

"She is going to be ok?" Livy asked him. 

"She is going to be just fine," Gavin said with a reassuring squeeze to her hand. 

"You're a good man to have in a pinch!" Al laughed with a clap on his shoulder. 

"I try to be useful," Gavin deflected the complement. 

Alex came to him and kissed him deeply. 

"Thank you, our Knight in Shining Armor!" Alex said with a whisper. "I'm going to get the Tylenol for her." 

He nodded as he began to clean up the bloody medical supplies. 

"You are great with kids," Alex said at the doorway. 

"Don't get any ideas," Gavin warned with his back to her. "If you want kids from me, you are going to have to marry me first." 

"Waiting on you, Sir," Alex smiled before leaving him in the kitchen. 

*** 

They gathered around the dining room table and said grace. Nora sitting next to Gavin kept Alex from the spot she wanted, instead she sat across from him as her father occupied the other seat next to Gavin at the head of the table. 

Livy chided her daughter for taking Alex's spot but Gavin said she had to sit there so he could keep an eye on her cut, which made Nora very happy and beam with her smile. 

After helping Nora with food for her plate Gavin looked to Alex to see her looking intently at the way he was caring for her niece. He could see her wheels spinning wildly in her head. He sighed deeply and shook his head. So easy to read. 

"So Alex," Ken started after the food was passed around. "Al says you have started teaching?" 

Ken was Krista's husband, he worked at the bank and was a Deacon in the church. He was roughly fifteen years older that Krista, more of her parents age than Krista's. He was always pleasant to Alex and she enjoyed that he would always keep her with pleasant conversation. He always paid a price for it but he did it anyway. 

The price was always some sort or ridicule from Krista or his mother but he was always interested in what Alex was doing. Perhaps it was because he had a crush on her, Alex knew this because he was always looking at her in more than a sisterly way. Then one New Year's Eve shortly after the birth of his son, he had a little too much champagne and kissed her a little longer than appropriate at the stroke of midnight when the family celebrated. 

He confessed he liked her more than he should. Alex let him down easy, telling him that could never be. At the time she said she was flattered, did everything she could to keep from bruising his fragile ego, but in reality she was extremely embarrassed for him. She knew he would feel horribly about it later. 

Alex said nothing at the time and could tell for a few meetings afterward he feared she would tell Krista which would bring him shame and constant ridicule. He was always thankful after that, for not telling Krista and not making it uncomfortable with them. Pretending that it never happened. In return, he was always pleasant and kind to her. Never joining in when the family attacked and on more than one occasion pulled the dogs off when they barked too much. 

"Um, yeah," Alex said with a tilt of her head. "Sort of, I filled in for a maternity leave this year, it lasted until the break, now the teacher will be back so I'm not teaching anymore. I hope to sub more though." 

"Where were you teaching?" he asked her. 

"South side," Alex admitted slowly. 

"I thought the south side of Chicago was the bad part of town?" Ken asked looking to Gavin. 

"It can be," Gavin replied for her. "It's like any major city, they have a part of town that has higher crime rates, but that's just economics." 

"It's because they have more black people down there!" Brandy teased. 

"Skin color has nothing to do with economics," Gavin defended. "Racism has more to do with it than anything else. Why we still judge a person in this day and age by the color of their skin is beyond me!" 

"C'mon Gavin," Krista chimed in. "They want to live like that because they are lazy!" 

"That's too simplistic an answer," Gavin disagreed. "Statistics prove that socioeconomic factors play more into it, most intelligent people know this." 

Alex looked to her plate at the subtle slam, it appeared that only she and her father caught it. Looking to Ken he winked at her and she knew he got it for sure. 

"Well," Marylyn started. "I hope, for your sake, that you do find a rich man to take care of you, because I can tell you from experience, teachers never become successful!" 

"Yeah, it worked out for Dad!" Brandy laughed. "A terrible pension for all the years of hard work!" 

"I'm very proud of what I did for a living," Al said winking at Alex. "I was able to raise four daughters, put food on the table and make a difference in people's lives. I would consider that successful." 

"You are one of the few, dear," Marylyn drawled disappointingly with a shake of her head. "Had you taken the insurance job my father offered, we could be enjoying worldwide travel like Terry Newcome is right now! He took the job you turned down! Instead, we are stuck here in Orchard Falls." 

"Yeah, not going to get baited into that conversation again!" Al laughed uncomfortably. 

"Are you saying that Mr. Lasko isn't successful?" Gavin asked them setting down his fork. Alex looked to him and saw the fire. She danced on the inside. 

"We're saying he is not like you, rich, with powerful contacts," Krista pointed out the differences. "You are what everybody deems successful!" 

"I'm sorry to disagree with you, sure I have money and I know a certain cross section of powerful people, but one thing I know for sure, money doesn't mean a whole lot in the end," Gavin said putting his elbows on the table and folding his hands in front of his face. 

"I have been with very wealthy people at the end of their lives, and I haven't found one who didn't have some sort of regret that had nothing to do with money, it had to do with how they were to be remembered? Ever notice that names like Rockefeller, DuPont and the like all have charitable foundations?" Gavin looked to each one of them before continuing. 

"It's because that is the only way we will remember them, by the lives they touch and most don't realize it until they are on their death bed. Granted being a doctor is fulfilling work, and I love doing it, but when I'm gone who is going to remember me beyond my patients? Nobody, maybe those who love me," he looked to Alex and she melted that he thought to look to her when he said it. 

"But if I don't have kids, what legacy do I leave behind? What transcends me?" Gavin shrugged his shoulders in opinion. 

"Mr. Lasko has touched students and planted seeds of knowledge, something that can never be measured as it never ends! His seeds turn into plants with knowledge who become successful and plant further knowledge. Thus his teaching will continue to reach others, long after he is gone," Gavin said draping his arm around Nora comfortably as she looked up at him as he leaned back in his chair. 

"I know all of his students Dr. Steward, none of them will ever amount to much!" Marylyn said coolly, semi glaring at him. 

"Really?" Gavin's eyes sharpened as his temper began to rise. The skin on his face warmed and Alex watched on in fascination that he was getting angry, and it wasn't directed at her! 

"You can't think of one student who hasn't or won't redistribute his love and knowledge to future generations?" Gavin asked her hard, his face setting angrily. 

"No," she said with a soft laugh. "Nobody he taught will amount to much, maybe they will become bagger of the year at the grocery store!" She mocked. 

"No one?" Gavin's voice was cold and everybody noticed. It took Marylyn's smile from her. Even little Nora looked up at him sensing his anger. 

"No one?" He repeated, gathering in his temper as he waited. "Not even here at this table?" He asked firmly, his finger tapping the table they were at. GAvin waited for Marylyn or one of the sisters to answer, he shook his head when they didn't, meaning they had no clue. 

"I mean all Alex did was paint a mural that was seen by over a million people, you mean to tell me that even the one plant he nurtured in this very house, who has now cast a over a million seeds of knowledge and memories, isn't considered making him highly successful?" Gavin asked her sharply. He shook his head at the lack of respect at this table. 

"Make no mistake, being a teacher can never be measured, because the knowledge they pass on can't be quantified as they will never know how or when their knowledge will pass on from there," Gavin continued. 

Those at the table sat silently as he went on, Alex wanted to do a summersault but instead watched him defend, not only her, but her father. Gavin calmed himself, regaining control of his temper. 

"I was walking with him yesterday, at the store, and more than one person came up to say hello to him, former students, all of them. How do you measure what knowledge he passed on to them that they may pass on to someone else, their child perhaps?" Gavin asked them with a shrug as he used the motion to shrug off his anger. "Isn't that deemed successful? To be remembered long after you have left their lives?" 

"I saw your daughter do the same this year, I visited her in her classroom, I saw at least twenty kids in her one class who loved her there, that she made a difference in their lives because she cared about them in a world that didn't," Gavin said his temper draining as he realized what was happening. 

"She exposed them to something they fell in love with, art, which was taught to her by her father, thus planting his seeds again. Untold millions of people going out and planting her seeds of art, her father's seeds. From the mural, to her care in the class for each student. All from the one plant Mr. Lasko planted that sits at this table with us, and I know she is not the only student he inspired. There were two that came up randomly in the grocery store while we were there, for what?" Gavin paused as he looked to Al. "Ten minutes?" Gavin said blowing out a breath and smiling at Alex. 

"If we are lucky, the rest of us will affect a tenth of what they have, I'll be lucky to affect a hundredth of what they have. Some people say I'm rich and successful, but in the end, all I have is money and that is not successful, that was a waste of my God given talent," Gavin shrugged picking up his fork. 

"I'm not saying he doesn't consider himself a successes. I'm just saying God gave him an opportunity to provide for his family better, my father offered him a job that would have made him lots of money and that could be passed on to our kids," Marylyn pointed out. "We could have benefited our church more!" 

"Let's face it Gavin," Brandy said with a smile. "Teachers aren't respected, but doctors are." 

"God loves teachers, probably more so than those who claim to be religious but do not lead by example," Gavin said with a furrowed brow. His temper was raging inside of him but he had to keep it together. For Alex. 

"Proverbs 22:6, 'Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it," Gavin quoted. His mother coming back to him. It was one of her favorites when he would ask her why he had to obey them when they grounded him for what he thought was an unfair length of time. 

"Is that not the essence of teaching? Whether it is your child or not is irrelevant," Gavin asked them. This caused them to blink at him in astonishment that he was quoting scripture to them. "Was Jesus not a teacher himself?" 

"Our Lord and Savior was a not a teacher!" Marylyn said angrily. "He is the King of Kings! He was sent to die for our sins so we could be saved from hells bosom!" 

"John 13:13, 'You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am'," Gavin said softly causing Alex to gasp in disbelief. 

This was so perfect and she chided herself for being childishly happy that her boyfriend was defending her to her family! That he was saying things and not shouting them like she would have. That he could keep his composure and win every point in the argument. 

"Jesus said this after washing his disciple's feet, hardly what a king would do, but he did it. Not because he was a king, but because he was a servant and a teacher. For he told his disciples to do the same and they did," Gavin countered finally drawing looks of disbelief from the others at the table. 

*** 

Gavin stood on the front porch, the cool air surrounding him trying to soothe his anger. The girls had gone in to do the dishes, and the guys had gone in to watch the game on TV. He needed some fresh air. 

He couldn't fathom how they could belittle their own family like that. Where he was raised people took pride in what they did. It was work! As long as you did your best that was all that was expected from you. One job wasn't more prestigious than the next. 

He thought of all Alex had to endure growing up here, the force fed religion, the snide comments about being an artist. Or a teacher, which he thought, was the most noble profession, in the world! 

"Thank you for what you said in there," Al said coming out into the night air with him. 

"Why do you put up with that?" Gavin asked him as he came to stand next to him and look up at the crisp night sky. 

"There was a time I cared, but I realized it wasn't worth the fight to try to convince them that they are wrong. After Alex came along I realized I didn't need to," he replied. "You begin to realize some people can't be convinced of anything if they don't want to be convinced." 

Gavin and Al stood there for a moment, Al lit his pipe and tended to the bowl. The sweet smell of cherry tobacco filled the cold air and Gavin smiled. Simple man, Gavin admired silently. Simple pleasures. Teacher, artist and father. Very successful in Gavin's mind. 

"You are wrong about one thing though, you have reached out and helped nurture that same plant I started. While I may have planted it, you nurtured it as well. It was just as much your doing with your encouragement. Your love for her, that made her plant her own seeds. So, between the three of us, we will transcend ourselves," Al said to him with a firm head nod. 

"No, that little fireball of a plant," Gavin laughed. "Is all yours!" 

"Yes, but like any field of crops, it isn't just the farmer who planted that makes the crop successful, it takes a lot of hands, and a lot of love. So when the time comes, you have my blessing, so you don't have to ask," Al countered. 

"I'm not sure we are at that point," Gavin cautioned with a gasp at the idea. 

"With all due respect, bullshit. I can tell by the way you look at her, and the way she looks at you, that's love and it's all you need. It can weather any storm. I know, because I still look at my wife that way and she hasn't looked back at me that way in years," Al argued. 

"Then why stay?" Gavin asked him looking at the man as he stared at the sky. 

"Because I do still look at her that way, and I would rather love her alone, than never love at all!" He replied with a tear in his eye. 

Alex coming out onto the porch caused the men to stop talking and look to her. 

"Sorry," Alex smiled at them. "Am I interrupting man talk?" 

"No!" Al laughed. "Just out her trying to get your man to not lecture me on my pipe smoking!" He tapped the bowl of his pipe on the railing of the porch and kissed her on his way by to go inside. 

"Sorry about that," Gavin said to her as she leaned into him and he put his arm around her to help her stay warm. "Guess that whole speech about respect last night was not listened to by me!" 

"I'm not!" Alex said with a shake of her head. 

"Kind of lost my temper there," Gavin explained. "I guess you should know, if you haven't figured it out by now, I have a pretty bad temper, it can get the best of me sometimes." 

"I am thankful you said the words, it seems when I lose my temper I lose all manner of speaking as eloquently as you did!" Alex assured him that she wasn't angry at all. That she was thankful he came to their defense. 

"If I would have gone off, it would have been a childish tirade filled with obscenities and yelling!" Alex laughed snuggling into him to absorb his warmth and his scent. "You were able to put them in their place without all the swearing and temper tantrum! It's the first time anyone has ever won against the whole family!" 

"Hey, that doesn't mean 'go fuck yourselves', wasn't the first thing that popped into my mind!" Gavin laughed. 

"Feel very strongly about teaching?" Alex asked him as she enjoyed his embrace. 

"Remember, my mother was a teacher," he reminded. 

"What did your father do?" she asked him. 

"He was a janitor," he smiled proudly. "In the same school." 

"They must have been very proud of you becoming a doctor," she smiled thinking of the way he said it. 

"My parents would have been proud of whatever I became, the only thing they said I couldn't become was a quitter. I'm the product of hard working parents who taught their child right," Gavin said firmly kissing her head. 

*** 

Gavin looked in on her, Alex was in her old room. Nora laying in her old bed with her princess dress on as she wanted to use it for sleeping, arguing that princesses always wore their dresses to bed. 

Alex was reading to her, from one of her old story books. Nora waved to him as he filled the doorframe and he waved back with a wink. 

"Mind if I check your bandage?" he asked her. "Before you go to sleep? I mean your mother said you were supposed to be asleep twenty minutes ago, but it looks like your mean aunt is going to keep you up all night!" 

Nora sat up and held out her hand as she rubbed her tired eyes. Gavin peeked under and smiled. 

"Looks hunky dory," he smiled. 

Nora leaned back into Alex and she continued to read. Gavin watched them and would smile at the voices Alex used to change the characters from boring words on a piece of paper to real live characters. 

Gavin shook his head and left them. When he passed by later, on the way to the restroom, he looked in and both were asleep. Nora gently held within Alex's loving embrace. He chuckled and tip toed in. Gently stroking Alex's face brought her from her light sleep. 

"She is asleep," Gavin told her softly. Alex nodded and kissed her head before gently laying her to the side. 

Gavin helped her up from the bed and pulled her close to his body. He kissed her lips, gently pushing his tongue inside her mouth and she accepted it greedily. 

"So," he smiled when he broke his kiss. "This is your bedroom!" 

"It is," she smiled as she loved the wicked look he was giving her. 

"Did this room ever see any heavy kissing?" he asked her. 

"Only in my dreams," she whispered. 

"Derrick?" Gavin chuckled as he watched her face go pale. 

"Damn Jedi!" Alex grumbled that he figured her out so easily. 

"Everybody wanted the hot high school quarterback!" Gavin informed her. "Nobody wanted us grumpy hockey players!" 

"I would have done anything this hockey player would have wanted!" Alex whispered to him as she nibbled on his chest. 

"Is that a fact?" he grinned. 

He ran his hand down her face, brushing lightly across her chest causing her to gasp. Pushing her gently against the dresser in the room he looked back to make sure Nora wasn't awake. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 26



"Did you have any fantasies about a man in this room?" Gavin asked her as he slipped his hand beneath her dress. 

"I'm having one right now!" she hissed the last word as he gently pushed his finger into her. She looked to Nora herself then closed her eyes. 

Gavin slowly worked her, his finger gently probing. 

"How wigged out would your saintly mother get if she knew I was finger fucking her daughter in her house?" Gavin asked her gruffly as he tugged on her ear with his teeth. 

"She would flat out lose her mind!" Alex whispered to him in between moans of pleasure. This made Gavin chuckle. 

They stopped their passion when they heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Gavin quickly inserted his finger in his mouth and winked at her. Alex was showing him a picture she had drawn back in grade school that her father had saved as cover when Livy walked in. 

"Did she finally go to sleep?" Livy asked them in the nightlight. 

"Yes," Alex smiled as Gavin left them to go downstairs. 

"Do I need to come up here and do a 'hand check' more often?" Livy teased as she tilted Alex's head to see the whisker burn on the side of her sister's neck from Gavin's passion. "Sinner!" Livy teased. 

"Hey, I remember you had a boy in your room at three in the morning!" Alex reminded. Livy blushed at the memory of being caught by her baby sister. "What ever happened to him?" 

"He's gay now," Livy laughed. 

"What?" Alex asked her in disbelief. 

"Yeah," Livy shrugged. "We tried kissing that night but I could tell he wasn't in it. That should have been the first clue." 

"That or you were so horrible at it he decided to bat for the other team!" Alex teased. 

"Thank you for being so good with her!" Livy said tucking her daughter in and kissing her head. "She adores you, thinks you are the greatest thing in the world!" 

"She doesn't know any better yet," Alex said putting her arm around her sister. 

"Anxious to have kids of your own?" Livy asked her as they watched Nora sleep. 

"Not in any big hurry, just now found a man that didn't suck!" Alex laughed softly. 

"You guys will be great parents," Livy assured her. "I watched you both with Nora, you guys are perfect for kids!" 

"Well, let's not scare the shit out of him too fast, shall we?" Alex said diverting the subject. 

*** 

Alex was quiet on the ride back to the hotel, she looked out the window and thought of Livy. The poor woman had no support here. Alex wondered if she was tough enough to withstand the family ganging up on her. It was inevitable, her father would help but this was different than Alex's art. Livy was talking about a direct violation of church doctrine. Mother would not be gentle, and with Krista and Brandy flanking her it would be a full frontal attack on her. 

"Worried about Livy?" Gavin asked her. This caused her to close her eyes. How does he do that? 

"I am," Alex admitted. "I'm more concerned on how I am ever going to keep something from you! How did you know I was worried about Livy?" 

"First," Gavin exhaled deeply. "Why would you keep something for me?" 

"A wife sometimes has to keep something from her husband," Alex grinned, trying to gauge his response. 

"That's what will cause our marriage to fail," Gavin said firmly. "We can't keep things from each other." 

"Homerun," Alex whispered to the window with a smile. 

"Testing your Dom?" Gavin asked her sharply. She gave a single nod. 

"Don't ever fucking do it again," Gavin said withholding as much anger as he could. 

"No, Sir," she agreed. "I have serious doubts about relationships in general. I mean, look at my family. My father loves a loveless woman. She doesn't love anyone! Her idea that she loves God is preposterous! If she did, she would love everybody! She mentally and psychologically abuses us systematically with that religious bullshit! Livy is afraid to even get a divorce! The sisters have marriages in name only, there is no love there! Did you feel any love in that room?" 

"So you test me?" Gavin asked. 

"No, that was not my intention," Alex said putting her hand to her forehead. "Where are we going? I mean, in the end, that is my question!" 

"Are we going to get married?" Gavin asked her angrily. 

"I'm not totally convinced this is going to last past a year!" Alex gasped. 

How in the hell did she pick a fight now? All she was doing was seeing where his mind was, now they were going to argue. 

"Why are you picking a fight with me?" Gavin asked her. "That's my fucking question!" 

"I don't know," Alex whispered. "I'm disillusioned. Not with you, with my family. The one thing I should be able to trust, the one thing of all things in this universe...and I know I don't have that foundation." 

"So, to keep yourself from being hurt because you have no anchor, you pick a fight with me?" Gavin asked her. 

"That was not my intention," Alex assured him. "I wanted to know where your head was." 

"Your aim is too high," Gavin frowned. 

"Where should my aim be?" she asked him turning to him. 

"You should be aiming your questions at my heart," Gavin said looking over to her. "Have I given you a reason to question my heart?" 

"None," Alex said firmly, without a second of pause. 

"Then trust my heart to lead my head to the promise land," Gavin smiled. "Damn Switch." 

"What?" she laughed because he was shaking his head and smiling. 

"Your instinct serves you well," Gavin admitted. "My head hasn't caught up to my heart. My heart is committed to you, that you need to understand, but you have to understand just how terrified I am." 

"Have I done something to scare you? My family?" Alex gasped that perhaps her family visit disturbed him enough that he was having second thoughts about them as a couple. 

"Yes you did, you made me fall in love with you," Gavin told her. "Not just fall, I'm talking head over heels unable to stop myself if I tried! That means if you go, I'm going be crushed!" 

"I'm not going anywhere!" She said with all she had. 

"Then trust me," Gavin said to her. "Like I'm trusting you!" 

She undid the seatbelt and began to kiss him deeply. Why would she ever doubt this man! She nearly climbed into his lap as he was driving causing him to laugh. 

"Trying to drive here," he chuckled. 

"I'm sorry," she said to him as she put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "Too many good things are happening to me, I'm so used to the opposite." 

"I understand," he said with a shake of his head. "My heart is all in, is yours?" 

"Unequivocally," she said kissing his neck. 

"Let's trust in that," he said. "Now, put your sexy ass back in your seat and put your seatbelt on, the roads are slick." 

"Yes, Sir," she agreed sliding back. "My love." 

They drove on just smiling, she was looking at him with her head on the seat. 

"I'm sorry," she said firmly. "I was foolish to doubt you." 

"Look," he said with a sigh. "I'm in uncharted water, not even with Carla had I even had the opportunity to think about marriage." 

"You never talked marriage with Carla?" Alex asked him, she was surprised. 

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "We were in Med school, we discussed it once, and said we would address it after Med school. Shortly thereafter, she got hooked on heroin, from there, the only thought I had was constant fear, worry and panic." 

"So," Alex said studying him. "You equated love with those emotions...then insulated yourself with being a Dom. Being in control. If anyone got to close, you pushed them away." 

Gavin looked to her and frowned. He turned to the road again. 

"Got me figured out, do you?" he finally asked. 

"I could take a thousand lifetimes, and never figure you out," Alex told him taking his hand and putting it on her knee. 

She had to have him touching her. But the restrictions of her not touching him kept her from holding his hand. He looked down at what she did and smiled. 

"Can't touch you," she told him when his eyes asked. 

"You know," he shrugged. "I put those rules in place for my other subs. You can address the restrictions whenever you are ready to lay our ground rules out." 

"What?" she asked him. "I can set up ground rules?" 

"You can suggest changes," he corrected. "As your Dom I will take them under consideration and decide if that is what is needed." 

He looked to her and shook his head. 

"The rules I had in place were general rules, they are adjustable based on what you need. Not what you want, but what you need. Now the no touching me rule had more to do with staying separate." 

"Staying separate?" she asked him. 

"Not letting you get too close," Gavin said softly. 

"To keep you from falling in love?" Alex asked him. He nodded. 

"Blew that out of the fucking water...didn't I?" She laughed. "Guess I'm more talented than any sub you have ever had! Look ma' no hands!" she cackled, waving her hands in the cabin of the car. 

"Hmm," Gavin raised his eyebrows. "Nothing wrong with your ego!" 

"Ok," she said. "I want to be able to hold your hand." He looked to her and tilted his head. 

"Except during scenes," she altered. "Just when we are in the vanilla world." 

"I can live with that," he agreed. She instantly picked up his hand and held it. 

"Much better," she smiled. 

"Now that you are satisfied that you can hold my hand," Gavin said with a shake of his head. "And we have discussed the marriage thing." 

"The marriage thing?" Alex giggled. Gavin smiled at her. "Alright, close enough for now." 

"What's bothering you about Livy?" Gavin asked her taking her back to what started all of this. 

"She wants a divorce," Alex told him. 

"She needs one," Gavin agreed. 

"The family will destroy her at every turn if she does," Alex told him. 

"That I don't doubt," Gavin growled. She smiled that he was just as angry about it as she was. "So? What do we do?" 

"She needs to know that she has allies," Alex told him. 

"Your solution?" Gavin asked her. 

"I don't have one," Alex frowned. "I was hoping you had one." 

"Got nothing right now," Gavin told her. "But we will think of something." 

"Yes," she smiled kissing his hand. "We will!" 

*** 

They entered the darkened hotel room and as soon as the door was closed and he turned on the lights he took her by the arm and nearly slammed her against the door. She gasped at his aggressiveness. 

"Your taste is fading from my lips from earlier," he told her as he devoured her lips. "I want it back!" 

She fended off his attack with her own lips guiding him along the wall to the desk, he knocked the few items on it to the floor, then picked her up and set her on the top gruffly causing her to gasp. 

"Don't fucking move," he warned her. She didn't nod, she didn't agree, she didn't move! 

He pulled the desk chair over in between her legs, and sat down in it. He carefully lifted one leg and placed in on his shoulder. Kissing from her knee up her thigh, he pushed the dress up revealing her to him. He gently kissed across her sex to her other thigh and down to her knee before placing her leg on his other shoulder. 

"Now," he smiled. "Time to get serious." He dove into her, nothing was gentle with his mouth's attack. She let out a loud yelp of excitement as he buried his face into her. 

"Fuck me!" she laughed. "Yes! Oh my God!" 

She gripped the edges of the desk as he devoured her. This was wolf like. Normally he started off slow, easy and worked his way to a comfortable speed. This was nothing like that! This was an attack, one that had her gasping and giggling at the same time. The sensations he was creating had her shaking in pleasure. 

He was consuming her. That was the only way she could think of it. His face was pressed so tight against her sex that she wondered if he was trying to plant his face completely in her. 

"Yes, please Sir," she gasped. "Eat me!" 

Her legs began to tighten on his shoulders, quaking slightly as he continued to drive deeper in her. He took her clit in his teeth gently and held it there while his tongue flicked at it. It caused her to convulse. 

"Fuck!" she yelped at the strange sensation of having her most sensitive of parts in his sharp teeth while his tongue battered it from behind. "Holy shit!" 

She had never had this done to her. She was flabbergasted at the wild sensations she was having. When she came she was anything but quiet, letting her voice carry out to the ceiling as her head fell back with a thump on the wall. 

He pulled his head from her after bringing her down gently, her legs still quivering. He looked up at her and she saw the wetness on his face. She pushed him back in the rolling office chair with her foot. The look in her eyes had him smiling as he captured her foot. 

He gently licked her big toe, running his tongue all around it, before gently pulling it into his mouth and sucking on it. The muscle in her calf flexed, all on its own, surprising her. He locked eyes on hers and then slowly pulled her big toe out and moved to the toe next to it. 

Her breathing sped up, she had never had anyone do this to her. Suck on her toes? Holy shit! Never even entered her mind! She had heard about it, but never put herself in the equation! 

"Holy shit!" she whispered aloud watching him move over each toe, showering it with the same attention. It both tickled and turned her on. She felt herself leak a little down to the desk. 

He went to the other foot and repeated slowly sucking on her toes on the other foot. His tongue then licked the instep of her foot causing her to jump at the ticklishness of it. He then gently nibbled there causing different sensations. 

She used her free foot to push him farther away when he began to massage her sole of her foot. She stood and eased her dress off, showing him her body. Taking off her bra, she stood there. 

He ran his hand over her flat stomach, his fingers brushing over her navel. Up the midline of her body, in between her breasts, before peeling to the right to cup a breast. His other hand followed the same path and found the other side. 

She took her hands and put them over his and held them there as she reveled in his touch. His hands causing tingling sensations across her body. She then pulled them off of her and placed them on the arms of the chair. The look in her eye told him what he needed to know. He wasn't to move them. 

She dropped to her knees and never broke eye contact with him. Her fingers pulling gently at his belt, pulling the pin out, she undid it and opened it wide. She then slowly dropped her head and nibbled his hardness through his pants. Biting gently with a turn of her head, so she could put teeth on either side. 

She continued to nibble as her hands pulled at the button on his pants until it was undone. She stopped nibbling on him long enough to pull his zipper down. She looked up at him as she snaked her hands through the hole of his boxer briefs and gently maneuvered his hard cock out. 

Never taking their eyes off one another, she started at the base of his shaft and licked upward slowly. Her tongue out and flat against the underside of his shaft. The heat of his cock branding her tongue. She smiled wickedly as she reached the top of his head. She bared her teeth to him and then gently placed them on the head of his cock. Closing her teeth softly around the head, at the mid-way point of his crown. 

Once she had him firmly in place, she let her tongue dance with the slit at the top of his cock. It caused his eyes to flutter closed for a brief second as the sensations overwhelmed him. He snapped them open as he didn't want to miss the hunger in her baby blues. 

She smiled at him when he did, she loved it. She loved having his cock in her mouth and looking into his eyes. He always looked at her with care, but tonight, he was looking at her lovingly. She had him. His eyes were different now, now he didn't look at her as just a girl. Now he was looking at her as a girl he loved. That pushed any doubts, any worries from her mind. This was the man she had been waiting for all her life. 

She lowered herself down his cock slowly, causing inch by inch to disappear in her mouth, and ultimately down her throat. Soon she had him all in, and she was still looking at him. She held him there, showing she could keep him there. She began to use her throat muscles to swallow his cock, making them tighten around it, the effect of which, made it feel it like her throat was massaging his hot sex organ. 

This was something she had read in a book. Granted a cheesy romance novel, but now she was actually doing it. She slowly pulled her mouth off, even slower than she went down. Her teeth gently dragging on his rock hard shaft. 

She could feel the pulse throb on the underside. It turned her on even more as it sped up with his excitement. 

"One thing Sir," she said once his cock had cleared her lips allowing her to speak. She still left her lips kissing it. "I want your taste in my mouth, I want to taste you all night." 

She smiled wickedly at him. 

"Have I been a good girl enough to have you cum in my mouth?" she asked innocently. He nodded with a smile. 

"Thank you Sir," she smiled as she dropped her mouth suddenly on his cock taking him all the way down in one swift motion causing a gasp to escape his lips and his head to drop back to the seat back. 

She smiled inside. Yep, she made her Dom do that. Her future husband, if she could somehow not fuck it up, she told herself. She slowly pulled off and brought her hand into play, she began to stroke his hot shaft. 

"May I take your pants all the way off?" she asked him softly. He nodded and she took hold of the sides of his pants and pulled as he lifted his hips. When he did, she captured his cock again with her mouth. Holding it there as she pulled his suit pants off. 

Pulling them off completely she tossed them to the side and dropped her mouth onto his balls and suckled one, then the other, as she gripped his shaft hard and tugged on his cock. Using her tongue to follow the underside up to the head and dropping her mouth over his shaft completely pushing her nose into her manicured pubic hair she held him there. Then slowly turned her head from side to side causing his hardness to rotate in her throat. 

She then pulled her mouth off and licked the frenulum gently, the divide at the underside was sensitive, she found out, and she liked making him gasp. He complied. Whether he knew it or not, as he left his head back and enjoyed her manipulations.  

Her hand kept it's up and down movement as she suckled the head with her tongue. Swirling around and around, before she moved down to take his heavy balls in her mouth and sucked, pulling each one in her mouth individually. 

His legs tightening let her know he was building. This spurred her on and now she wanted nothing more than his cum. She put her mouth back on him and to work his cock with a heightened gusto. Sucking hard, her hand helping his orgasm build. 

She dropped her hands to his hips and fucked her mouth with his cock, the slight gagging sound filling the room. She never fully gagged herself to where she had to pull off, but she was hitting the back of her throat with the head of his shaft. 

She pulled her mouth off with a deep gasp as she took in a deep breath 

"God I love deep throating your cock!" she gasped, her breath coming back to her from her thorough deep throat. "I could suck you all night!" She waited for no response from him and buried his cock back into the depths of her throat. 

"Fuck me," he whispered at her aggressiveness. She again, smiled inwardly. 

His legs began to shake and she knew he was about to blow. He lifted his head, his eyes said it all and she let her eyes answer. He smiled as his eyes closed slightly as the pleasure from his orgasm overwhelmed him. She never closed her eyes and he was hypnotized by the pools of blue water as they sparkled in satisfaction as she held his cock in her mouth and stroked with her hand the orgasm into her mouth. The spurts she felt with her hand as they surged from the large vein in his cock, she could feel each and every buck before it hit her mouth. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 26



The quivering of his cock told her he was done. It was then and only then did she pull her mouth off. She opened her mouth to show his seed on her tongue which caused him to raise his eyebrows at her. She had never done that, show him. 

She then closed her mouth slowly and swallowed with a satisfied glow on her face. She pulled the remnants of his cum from his shaft with a firm hand then lowered her tongue to pull it from the slit. She pulled it into her mouth closing her lips tightly afterwards. 

"Thank you, Sir," she smiled. "You were delicious." 

"Come up here," he said firmly. She obeyed. 

He took her chin and brought her lips to his and kissed her, his tongue pushing into her mouth. 

"You are absolutely fucking amazing!" He whispered his lips still brushing hers. "And I'm never letting you go." 

She dropped her lips back to his and kissed him deeply again. Her heart skipping happily in her chest. Her mind spinning wildly in love.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 27



Chapter 29* 

The phone shrill caused Alex to jump in the bed. She in the midst of such a deep and dream filled sleep. Happy dreams. Gavin and a son, waiting for her by a pond. They were waving to her. Gavin and a "mini me" Gavin. Same hair, same eyes. Same damn hypnotic and mischievous smile. The one that had her willing to do anything. 

Gavin snatched it off the stand next to his bed. 

"Charles? What's wrong?" Gavin said immediately. He listened with held breath. "That stubborn bitch! Ok." He flipped on the light and pulled his watch to him. 

"It's 2 a.m.," Gavin said checking the time. "Send the jet to the airport in Pittsburg and I'll meet it there." 

"Gavin," Alex said taking his arm. "What's going on?" 

"Madelyn had a small stroke," Gavin told her. 

"Oh God!" Alex began to tear up. 

"She is fine," Gavin said trying to calm her. "But I need to go back." 

"No, we'll both go," Alex told him. 

"No, your parents and family are expecting you," Gavin reminded. 

"I don't care!" Alex semi barked. 

"Nora is expecting you," Gavin said softly. "She needs that new dress and she was excited you were taking her to the movies today." He said stroking her face. 

"Anzi has checked her out, she is in no danger and I can hear her in the background telling me not to come back!" He laughed holding the phone so Alex could hear her ranting that he better not show up or she would kick his ass. 

This caused Alex to smile and relax a little. If she was that feisty then she was fine, she hoped. 

"Don't go to Pittsburg," Alex told him. "If the jet is small enough, Averin is a small town ten miles from here, it has a small airfield." 

"Charles," Gavin smiled winking at her. "Charles, have your pilot at Averin, Pennsylvania. It's a small nearby airfield." Gavin listened then got out of bed. "Fine, be there ASAP." 

"She is going to be alright?" Alex asked as he got up to start his shower. 

"Yes," Gavin said, his voice was strained and that wasn't comforting to her. The normally calm and focused Gavin had a tinge of worry and that upset her. 

"You're sure?" Alex asked him. 

"She had a stroke," Gavin explained. "Until we run a full testing spectrum, we won't know the damage." 

"So I should go!" Alex told him. 

"No," he shook his head. "Look I appreciate you want to go, but Anzi is a specialist in Neurology and strokes, he said she is fine, she says she is fine...," 

"But you have to be Gavin," Alex nodded with a nervous smile and understanding. 

"I can't be anyone else," he smiled kissing her lips. "Really I'm leaving this up to Anzi, I can't be involved in something like this with Madelyn, I wouldn't be able to keep myself objective and focused, so I'm just going to sit there and be in the way myself." He winked at her. 

At the crack of dawn the small private jet touched down on the tarmac and Gavin hopped out of the car and went to the trunk. He hadn't said much to her on the way over, spending most of his time on his phone, either talking on it or going over test results via email. She drove to Averin, trying to give him the time to be Gavin, one focus and right now, that was Madelyn. 

She still felt like she should go, but that would involve going against the new role she wanted to maintain. No arguing, submissive at all costs. That was going to be very difficult for her in things like this. Who was she kidding? That was going to be difficult in everything! She was just so stubborn! But Gavin was worth trying hard for. Forcing her to go against the nature and be submissive. 

As the jet turned around, Alex and Gavin walked towards it. The door opened and the stairs dropped. 

"Dr. Steward?" a man asked as he stuck his head out. Gavin nodded. "Flight time is fifty seven minutes doctor." Gavin nodded and handed him his bag. 

"Ok," Gavin said taking her face in his hands. "Deep breath!" 

"I should be getting on that plane with you!" She argued softly. "We are now a couple, meaning we meet everything head on...together!" 

"Unless we have to fight separate battle fronts," he smiled. She furrowed her brow. "Look," he said with a shake of his head seeing the fire in her. "All the tests so far say the same thing. She is fine. So both of us going back is senseless, especially seeing how she is going to be livid!" 

"Secondly," he said softer. "I have a solution for Livy." 

"You do?" Alex asked relieved, he nodded. 

She had a multitude of solutions for Livy as well. All of them had some form of going over to Don and beating the shit out of the cheating bastard. She was hoping Gavin could come up with something a little more civilized. 

"There is no way she is going to be able to make a decision in that house," Gavin told her. She nodded that she agreed. "She needs someplace quiet, someplace where she can just decompress and look at things from a non-pressure situation. With nobody hounding her about religion or appearances." 

"Ok," Alex said slowly not knowing where he was going. 

"I want you to convince her and Nora to come to Chicago with you," Gavin said. Her jaw dropped open. "Not for forever! But for a few weeks, maybe a month. If she gets away from you mother and sisters, she will see things from a different perspective. If nothing else she will have time to breathe." 

"Would she stay with us?" Alex asked him. 

"Sure, the condo is your home too!" he shrugged. "The guest room is open, we will have to move some of your art stuff into my forbidden man cave..." He joked while waving his hands like a magician. Teasing her, yet again, about her stand on giving him space. 

"But they should have plenty of room there. Then she will have you to distract Nora, while she contemplates one of the most difficult and painful decisions of her life." 

"What about our little secret?" she smiled. "I can be kinda noisy!" 

"That, my love, is what they make ball gags for!" Gavin smiled kissing her. He stroked her cheek then climbed the stairs. Alex moved back to the safety of the Mercedes as the plane lifted off. 

"A ball gag?" She smiled as she started her car. "There is one I haven't tried before!" She giggled and drove back to the hotel to shower herself. 

*** 

"I figured you would be up," she whispered to her father as he sat at the table drinking coffee. She had quietly let herself into the house after her shower, she knew he was an early riser, so there was little doubt when she pulled up and saw the kitchen light on that it was him. 

"What are you doing up this early?" he asked her surprised as she went to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup. "Where is Gavin?" 

"Gavin's good friend Madelyn had a mini stroke last night," Alex frowned. "He had a jet pick him up in Averin and take him back to Chicago." 

"Is she alright?" Al asked her concerned. 

"Gavin says so, she sounded like the hard ass Madelyn can be, on the phone, but I'm so worried!" Alex said sitting next to him. "Madelyn took the place of Gavin's mother after she passed. I...I don't know if he is strong enough to lose her!" She explained to her father as his eyes told her he didn't understand. 

"He is very strong!" Al argued with a scoff of disbelief taking her daughter's hands in his to help comfort her. 

"Almost as strong as you, but...," Alex frowned. 

She didn't have the same confidence that her father had. He wasn't privy to how Gavin's mind worked as she was. Gavin looked to Madelyn as a maternal guidance. A mentor. Losing her would reopen all the wounds of losing his parents again. How strong is he? How strong is anyone? Everyone has a breaking point, even Gavin. 

Madelyn was all he had until she came along. How strong would he be if she were to pass? Would their relationship be enough to sustain him through the tough time that would follow? Even she couldn't answer that for sure. In all honesty, she wasn't willing to risk it. 

"But what?" Al asked her lifting her chin to look her in the eye. 

"Gavin has lost every person he has ever loved...tragically! His mom to cancer, his dad a short time later from a broken heart...then there was the girl that broke his heart," Alex said softly. 

"What happened to her?" Al asked softly, gently nudging his daughter to talk to him. He could see his daughter's heart breaking just talking about the pain Gavin had to endure. His heart broke for her. 

"She OD'd on heroin," Alex said softly, a single tear rolling down her face. "Gavin hasn't had a steady girl since then, and that was in med school." 

"Until you?" Al asked, his face looked pained to ask. 

"I hope," she smiled. "I'm definitely further along than any previous girl...but nothing is ever certain, is it?" 

"That depends on how hard you are willing to fight," Al winked at her. Alex let out a deep breath. 

"What is your position on Livy and Don?" Alex whispered in case her mother was up. She needed to find an ally to help her with her upcoming campaign to get Livy to come back to Chicago. Her father would have some sway. 

"You mean other than wanting to kill the son of a bitch?" Al growled. Alex nodded with a soft smile. Question answered. Good old dad, she could always count on him. 

"I want to take her and Nora back to Chicago with me," Alex told him. "Just for a few weeks, give her some space to clear her head and take a long look with no one hounding her about the bullshit." 

He nodded as he thought about it. 

"What does Gavin say about that?" he asked her. "I mean having a kid in a bachelor pad and all?" 

"It was Gavin's idea," Alex smiled proudly. 

"No shit?" he laughed a short laugh of disbelief. "Well, I think that would help her out a lot. To have a different attitude around her. A change of latitude, to change the attitude, so to speak." 

"I'm not trying to convince her one way or the other," Alex clarified. "I just want her to take a deep breath, ask herself her the questions that she needs to explore and go from there." 

"I would support that," he agreed with a firm nod and troubled brow. "I just don't know if Livy will take advantage of the offer." 

*** 

Nora squealed as she entered the Disney Store in Pittsburg later in the day. She ran from one display to the next, the look on her face said it all. She was in her version of heaven. 

"You have just become the greatest person on the planet," Livy smiled as she put her head on her sister. "Nora has been dying to come here." 

"You guys have never been here?" Alex asked stunned. 

"Don hated coming into Pittsburg, Mom thinks it's some sort of devils playground, so coming here was out of the question," Livy sighed. 

"What does she think of Chicago?" Alex gasped. "Never mind, I can guess." The girls laughed. 

They walked around the mall, Nora in her new Disney dress to replace the one with blood they couldn't fully get out. The small girl was swinging in between them as they held her hands. Nora's head back and laughing so hard that her eyes were watering and that made Alex laugh with her. Alex was careful to hold her by her wrists to make sure the cut did not reopen and ruin another dress. 

Alex looked to Livy who saw her daughter laughing, that made her smile and feel sad at the same time. As Alex looked at her sister and there was something that Alex couldn't read. Turning into the little play land the mall had set up near the food court for small kids, Nora dropped their hands and ran off. 

Nora made a quick friend who was also in a Disney dress and they compared dresses proudly. Alex and Livy took a seat set up for parents to watch their children at the edges of the play land. 

"Thank you so much for coming home for Christmas," Livy said as she smiled at her daughter. "You were a real ray of light. I was so worried that this Christmas would be the worst one of her life!" 

"I loved being home," Alex said with a smile. 

"Liar," Livy chuckled with a shake of her head. 

"What do you mean?" Alex asked her defensively. 

"You were so desperate to get out of here there was barely a vapor trail when you left," Livy pointed out. "If dad wasn't here, there would be no way you come back!" 

"How about I was happy to see you, Nora and Dad?" Alex altered. 

"That I buy," Livy agreed with a single long head nod. 

"Hey," Alex said softly watching her sister watch Nora play. "I have a favor to ask." 

"Anything for you," Livy smiled turning her head to her. 

"I want you to come back to Chicago with me," Alex told her taking her hand. 

"What?" Livy gasped with a shake of her head. 

"Think of it," Alex tried to counter the automatic denial. "You would have a place where you could think, with no pressure. Just a quiet place to gather your thoughts." 

"I couldn't leave Nora with Don," Livy shook her head. "He doesn't want her around with the new girl, and there is no way in hell I'm leaving her with mother. I put up with that but I will not subject my daughter to it!" 

"No," Alex shook her head. "The two of you, in Chicago...with me." 

"Where would we stay?" Livy asked. "Your apartment is barely big enough for you and Lena!" 

"Well," Alex shrugged. "I'm living with Gavin anyway, so you would stay in our guestroom there." 

"No wonder mom has been flipping out!" Livy laughed with a shake of her head. "I was under the impression you were staying there one or two nights then had your apartment." 

"I still have my apartment," Alex said with a laughing shrug. "I just don't live there, I just pay rent." 

"What is Gavin going to say when you show up with your deadbeat sister and her overly energetic child?" Livy asked. "He seems like the kind of guy who likes peace, quiet and order!" 

"He very much likes order," Alex agreed watching Nora and the new girl squeal loudly. "But in all honesty, this was his suggestion." 

"No," Livy shook her head. "I wouldn't want to intrude on your new life, I mean you guys are still learning about one another and everything!" 

"Livy," Alex frowned. "We want you to come live with us for a while, not forever. I know what it is like living in that house going against mother! You need someplace to think! Christ! Someplace to breathe!" 

Livy looked to her daughter. She shrugged and shook her head at the same time. 

"Just think about it?" Alex pleaded. Livy hesitated and nodded. "Thank you." 

*** 

Gavin walking into Madelyn's hospital room caused her to growl. 

"I don't want to hear it," Gavin said firmly as he picked up her chart from the nurse. 

"Who in the hell wanted you here?" Madelyn raged. 

"Keep it up and I'll have you sedated," Gavin warned her looking through her charts ignoring her anger. 

"Charles, if you weren't with me for everything I would so fire your ass for calling him!" Madelyn barked at him furiously. 

She was furious with her loyal butler for this betrayal. She had begged him not to call Gavin, because she knew Gavin would drop everything and come to her, but what he was doing was so important to her! Something he would never understand. She wanted Gavin at Alex's more than Alex did. 

"But I have been here for everything," Charles said calmly. "We love you, so even if you fired me, I would still stay and take care of you!" 

"Anzi," Gavin began. "Did you run a CT scan?" Gavin asked the doctor as soon as he walked in. 

"Of course," Anzi said with a shake of his head that he wouldn't have done the most simplistic and basic test first. 

"Ischemic or hemorrhagic?" Gavin instantly questioned. 

"Hemorrhagic," Anzi frowned. 

He knew Gavin would be this way. He didn't know why he was even remotely surprised. At first, when Gavin asked him to take over Madelyn's treatments, Anzi was surprised. Then he saw the way he was with her, and he knew why. He loved her too much. It was like working on his mother. He couldn't keep his emotions in check with her. Still, it was a pain in the ass any time he had to examine her as Gavin would question everything. 

"Small vessel," Anzi continued with a roll of his eyes. "Then I did Carotid ultrasound, and an MRA." He continued to list the various tests he had run because Gavin would ask for them. Anzi blew out an exhausted breath. 

"I'm not that bad, am I?" Gavin asked hearing the playful disdain in Anzi's voice. 

"Yes," the three of them said in unison. 

"Fuck all of you!" Gavin frowned, containing his anger by going over the chart in his hands. 

"I'm spending a lot of her money, Gavin," Anzi said with a pat on his shoulder. "If she was any other patient I would have sent her home by now, but I knew that would send you off the deep end, so I'm running tests that doesn't need to be run. Because I know you!" 

"Let's run a echocardiogram," Gavin said looking over her file. 

"She has one scheduled at two," Anzi shook his head, realizing his efforts were falling on deaf ears. "Because I knew that you could do my job better than me! I mean I'm only the specialist, I'm the one you brought in because I was the best." 

"Then why hasn't she had the test already?" Gavin asked him. 

"Because this is a hospital!" Anzi argued with disbelieving smile. "In a city of nearly three million people. We take care of a lot of patients!" 

Gavin stood there looking at him unimpressed with Anzi problems. 

"I have already bumped her in front of three patients!" Anzi defended. Still Gavin stared. "Good God! I'll go and see if I can get the test moved up!" Anzi shook his head and walked to the door. 

"You know Maddy," Anzi said at the door. "If I were you, I would seriously think about dumping this overprotective louse! He is spending more of your money than needs to be!" 

"It's Gavin," Madelyn frowned. "He can only be who he is." 

Gavin sat on the edge of her bed and took her hand. 

"Now what test are you giving me? What's an echocardiogram?" 

"It's an ultrasound of the heart," Gavin told her. "Are you taking your damn pills?" 

"Most of the time," Madelyn frowned. "How is Alexandria?" 

"Do not change the subject on me young lady!" Gavin barked. 

"I love you," Madelyn smiled as she stroked his face sympathetically. "I love that you will drop everything for me, but you have to think about Alexandria now! You were meeting her parents and her family! That was such a big deal." 

"You're kidding me right?" Gavin scoffed in disbelief. "It was all I could do to keep Alex from coming with me! You think I'm bad?" Madelyn shook her head with a smile. She hadn't thought of the fire that Alex had. 

"Look," Gavin said softer now. "The pills I have you on, are not pills you can take when you feel like it. They need to be in your system regularly, they take time to balance the system. Taking them one day, then not the next is a complete waste of time!" 

Madelyn looked down at his hands that wrapped hers. She then looked to Charles who read her command easily and left them. 

"Are you thinking of marrying her?" Madelyn asked him. 

"Quite changing the subject," Gavin warned her. 

"Are you?" Madelyn asked again, not relenting. 

"It hasn't even been a year," Gavin defended knowing she wasn't going to give up the line of questioning. 

"Gavin," Madelyn shook her head. "Your history tells me I need to check." 

"Why is everybody so hell bent on thinking my relationships last only a year because it's my fault?" He asked her. Madelyn looked to him in anger that he would even try to defend himself in this fashion. 

"You can try that bullshit with someone who doesn't know you. Someone who hasn't sat with you at the end of every relationship, trying to think of a way, to tell you how big a mistake you were making!" she said to him in a forced calm, her voice laced with anger that was straining the words. 

"I love you, I adore you. Most of all I want you to be happy! I've seen the things you do to push girls away that get too close! Of all the things I want in this life, I want to see you with someone who makes you smile, like you are right now, just because we are talking about her!" Madelyn said as a tear streaked down her aged cheek. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 27



"I'm not ending anything with Alex," Gavin said with a smile and shake of his head. 

"Alex?" Madelyn questioned. 

"She is my sub I can call her any fucking thing I want!" Gavin growled having the name pointed out to him 

"I'm not saying you can't," she smiled softly with a relieved sigh. 

"I'm not looking at her like just a sub anymore," Gavin admitted. Madelyn smiled. "I love her." 

Madelyn let more tears fall from her eyes as he said it. 

"Don't get all blubbery on me," Gavin said with a shake of his head. 

"That's a big, big step," Madelyn told him with a proud smile. He shrugged. "Don't disrespect how big of a step that was for you with a shrug!" 

"I'm not," Gavin chuckled. "It's a big deal, I know it is." 

"But?" Madelyn asked him reading him easily. 

"But it scares the holy living shit out of me! Alright?" Gavin painfully admitted. "I'm so scared it's hard to breathe when I stop and think about it!" 

"Why?" Madelyn asked him softly. 

"What if," he paused as he closed his eyes. "What if, she wants more later? More than I can give her?" 

"Then you find a way to give her more," Madelyn said firmly. "You will have to go outside your comfort zone, Sweetheart. You will have to move into things that make you shudder. That's what being in love is! To trust the other to venture on the ice you were afraid to tread on before...alone." 

"What if I can't?" Gavin asked her. 

"Can't, isn't in love's vocabulary," Madelyn smiled. "Any more than I 'can't' keep you from coming here today!" She kissed his cheek. "When you think you 'can't', close your eyes and jump, then let Alex do the rest!" 

*** 

Alex sat in the driver's seat, looking into the rearview mirror at Nora as she looked out the window. Nora wanted the top down on the convertible, despite the fact it was in the low teens. Livy chewed on her nail as she peered out the window. A nervous habit she had not been able to shake since childhood. Something it seemed the whole family did. 

"I can't believe I'm going with you to Chicago," Livy finally smiled. "Did you see mom's face when dad barked?" 

"I know!" Alex laughed. "I thought she was going to flip out when dad told her that the bible said she was to obey him! That he wanted you to go, and if she interfered it would be taken up at church!" 

"She is such a hypocrite, isn't she?" Livy asked her. 

"She just has her beliefs, they are wrong, but they are her beliefs," Alex shrugged. 

"Aunt Alex," Nora asked from the back. "Are we almost there?" 

"Baby," Alex laughed. "We have only been in the car for about an hour! We have eight more hours to go!" 

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Livy asked her. "Then when you wake up we may almost be there!" 

"I don't want to miss it!" Nora argued. 

"We will wake you when we get close," Alex assured her. 

"Are you sure Gavin is going to be ok with this?" Livy asked. She was still paranoid she was intruding on the man. 

Everything about him screamed privacy. He was a 'private' physician. His mannerisms were soft and subtle. His eyes were gentle. The way he was with Livy endeared him to her heart but even that was quiet and gentle. Did this man have any idea what he was in for? Inviting a six year old into a quiet life? If peace was what the man desired, he was out of luck! 

"Yes," Alex said with a laugh and a shake of her head. "He is the one that suggested it!" 

That was the first fight that she had to win. Convincing everybody that it was ok with Gavin. Even though she had told them all repeatedly that it was his suggestion. None wanted to believe that. When that failed, her mother launched into a tirade that a child shouldn't be removed so far from her father. 

Livy countered with, he didn't want her around with the new woman. They were afraid with her rambunctiousness she would hurt her and the unborn baby on accident. 

Marylyn then countered that Nora shouldn't be exposed to two adults living in sin the way Alex and Gavin were living. Alex countered, was their sin worse than her father's sin of betraying Livy and getting another woman pregnant? 

Al ended it with his statement. That caused the entire house to look to him as he stared his wife down. There was a few moments of awkward silence as it appeared that Marylyn was thinking of a counter before Al ended the debate by walking away, gently rubbing his sore shoulder. 

*** 

Pulling her Mercedes in front of the condo entrance Mike beamed a smile at her. 

"Ms. Lasko!" he said coming outside from around the desk. He nodded a hello to Livy while smiling at Nora. 

"Hey Mike!" Alex said as she pulled the bags from the back. 

"Do you want me to get one of the guys to carry that stuff up?" Mike offered taking a bag from her. 

"Nah!" Alex said with a shake of her head. "We can get it!" He nodded as Alex took the bag from him. 

"Is Gavin home?" Alex asked him as the car hop took her car to put in the garage. 

"I thought he was with you?" Mike told her with a mixture of confusion and concern on his face. 

"No," Alex frowned. "He came home two nights ago, a patient needed his attention." 

"Well," Mike shrugged holding the door open for her. "Maybe he is coming in late and leaving before I come on." Alex nodded but she doubted it. It meant he was staying at the hospital or at Madelyn's. 

"Oh, my gosh!" Nora squealed as she ran to the window. "You have a pool!" She spun to run back to Alex. 

"Can we go swimming?" she begged. 

"Can we put our stuff up? Get our bathing suits on? Or should we just jump in like we are? Mike, are there rules of what we wear in the pool?" Alex teased. 

"I believe suits are mandatory," Mike said with a firm brow looking at Nora. 

"Oh man!" Nora growled as she pressed her face to the window to the pool. 

"Mike," Alex laughed. "This is my sister Livy, and her daughter Nora, they will be staying with us for a while." 

"Yes, Ma'am," Mike nodded in hello. 

"Would you pass the word?" Alex asked him. 

"I will," Mike agreed. "Will she need a key?" 

"No, I will give her the one Lena was using...speaking of which...how did your date go?" Alex asked him with a flick of her eyebrows. 

"Um, I thought it went well," Mike smiled an embarrassed smile as he rubbed his jaw in an 'aw shucks' look. "I mean she let me take her out again and all." 

"Reaaaallly," Alex smiled diabolically. 

"Any other information should probably come from her," Mike said firmly with a polite embarrassed smile. 

"No problem," Alex laughed as they made for the elevator. "Lena will give me all the dirty details!" 

"Ms. Lasko!" Mike chided, causing the two ladies to laugh at his discomfort. 

Opening the door to the condo Nora squeezed by them and sprinted into the condo. She ran to the balcony window and looked out into the city. The lights coming on as the sun started to set. 

"I can see the big building!" Nora yelled. 

"Willis Tower," Alex smiled at her, reminding her. 

"Yeah!" Nora beamed. 

"We will go to the top one day this week," Alex promised her. "They have this deck where you can walk on air and stand at the very top with nothing but a piece of Plexiglas beneath you!" 

"Really?" Nora beamed. "Which room is ours?" Nora ran to one. 

"That is Gavin's office!" Alex called out. Nora came back out and ran to the next room excitedly. "That's my room!" Alex laughed. Nora ran to the next room. "That! Is your room!" 

"This place is huge!" Livy pointed out. She went over to some work of Alex's on the wall. "This yours?" Alex nodded with a smile. 

"Oh my gosh!" Livy raved looking at a newspaper picture of Alex in front of her creation. "Is this your wall?" 

"That's the first part of it," Alex nodded. "It was forty-eight feet long, so getting it all in one picture is next to impossible." 

"I wish I could have seen it!" Livy frowned. 

"You still can," Alex shrugged. "They moved it to the Museum of Art." 

"Really?" Livy gasped. "The Museum of Art?" When Alex and Gavin talked about her success she hoped it was true, but Krista, Brandy and her mother doubted all of the success. They believed some of it was a ploy to build Alex up in their eyes. But the Chicago Museum of Art does not take in those who are not worthy. 

"Takes up one entire side of the hallway leading to modern artists of Chicago exhibit," Alex shrugged embarrassedly. 

"I want to see it," Livy said firmly. 

"We will," Alex smiled. 

Just then the door opened to the condo and Gavin walked in. 

"Uncle Gavin!" Nora yelled as she made a mad dash for him. 

"Ahhhh!" he yelled in surprise at the attack. "It's a munchkin attack!" 

The girls smiled at him as he scooped her up carefully and put her on his shoulder. 

"Hello ladies," he smiled kissing Alex on the lips. "Trip home ok?" 

"Yes," Alex smiled. "How is Madelyn?" 

"Being quite the pain in my gluteus maximus!" Gavin growled. "Nora, can you tell me why women are such a pain in the behind?" 

Nora shrugged as he looked to her. 

"You don't know, or won't tell?" Gavin laughed. He spun her off his shoulder and took her hand to look at it. 

"See? All better!" Nora smiled. 

"Well," Gavin disagreed. "It's better, but not all better." 

"Can we go to the pool?" Nora asked him hopping up and down. 

"Not for at least a week with that hand," Gavin smiled loving her eagerness. 

"A week?" Nora pouted, her jaw dropping. 

"Should keep it out of the water, sharks are attracted by blood," Gavin teased carrying his and Alex's bag to the bedroom. 

"You have sharks in your pool?" Nora asked him following him in. 

As soon as she disappeared with him, Alex and Livy began laughing. They then heard her screaming in laughter as Gavin tossed her on the bed and began tickling her. 

"Mom! Aunt Alex! Save me!" Nora begged from within the bedroom. 

"Coffee?" Alex asked with grin disregarding her pleas. 

"Coffee," Livy agreed. 

*** 

"How did you sleep?" Gavin asked her when he walked into the kitchen. Livy was there staring into her coffee cup. Peering into it like it was going to predict the future. She wished it would give her the future so she knew what the right decision was. She lifted her head and smiled at him. 

"Very well," she smiled at him. "Thank you for the invitation to stay with you. It's beyond generous." 

"You're Alex's family," Gavin said pouring hot water into a cup for tea. "It makes her happy to have you here. What else could I have done?" 

"Not invite her psycho family to stay with you! I mean, wow, you don't even know me or my daughter!" Livy pointed out as he sat next to her. 

"I don't need to," Gavin shrugged. "If it makes Alex happy, that's all I need to know." 

"You like her that much?" Lily smiled looking at her cup with a burgeoning jealousy. She only heard of this type of feelings in movies and in books. Here was a living breathing proof that the type of love she yearned for was out there. 

"No," Gavin frowned. Livy lifted her head. "I love her that much. More than anything else." 

Livy looked to him with soft tears in her eyes. He took her hand. 

"Everybody deserves to find that," Gavin told her gently. "To find that one person that they can't live without. That one person who makes them smile when they enter a room. Then to know, that person thinks the same about you," Gavin shook his head. 

"I find myself going through my day, and when I hear my phone ring, or alert me of a text, I find myself hoping that when I look, that it's Alex," Gavin shrugged. "And when it is, my day gets a tick brighter. If I'm down, whether it be a patient or whatever, she makes me smile." 

Gavin let out a soft huff of a laugh. 

"And she can make me smile and not even be in the room," Gavin told her picking up his cup. "Just knowing I was coming home last night and she was going to be here, made coming home a priority." 

"She was concerned when you didn't come home at all when you came back," Livy told him. 

"There was no reason to come home," Gavin shrugged. "So I just stayed with Madelyn." 

"Alex was the reason you came home?" Livy asked with a jealous smile. 

"She was the only reason to come home," Gavin said firmly. 

"That's what I want," Livy smiled. "To find a man that wants to come home because I'm there." 

Gavin looked to his watch and then stood. He touched her cheek and tilted her head up. 

"He's out there Livy," Gavin assured her. "Waiting for you to rescue him, like Alex did me." 

Livy held his hand to her face for a second. 

"Thank you so much!" Livy whispered as a tear escaped. 

"Take as long as you need," Gavin said. "Get yourself in the right frame of mind." 

"What frame of mind is that?" 

"The frame of mind that the only thing you need in life to be happy, is sleeping in her princess dress," Gavin smiled. "Once you realize your happiness is dependent only on her, then you will find that man that will compliment you, not fulfill you." 

Alex came in a short time later her hair still wet from her shower. She also noticed that Gavin was freshly showered. She wondered if there was some early morning romance in the shower going on to keep the noises down from the guests that were now there. 

"Hey," Livy smiled as she watched her sister move about to get her coffee. 

"Hey," Alex said over her shoulder. 

"You have a certain glow this morning," Livy teased. 

"Do I?" Alex giggled. "Did Gavin leave already?" 

"He did," Livy said with a shake of her head. "After he knocked me off my feet with the sweetest words I had ever heard." 

"What?" Alex asked her sitting down. 

"The man adores you," Livy said with a jealous smile. 

"The feeling is definitely mutual," Alex said with a nod and a wink. 

"I know it's a bit early," Livy said slowly, cautiously. "Do you think you will get married?" 

"Yes," Alex said without a second of hesitation. 

"Wow," Livy said surprised at the quick response. 

She was expecting some hesitation, or a speech that danced around the subject, but to have it settled in a single word had her gasping. 

"You have discussed it?" Livy asked. "Has he asked?" 

"No, he hasn't asked," Alex frowned. "But we have discussed where we want to be." 

"Where you want to be?" Livy asked. "How does that work?" 

"We both agree, we like where we are going, we both believe it will wind up at the altar, and we both are prepared to do just that," Alex told her. 

"So if he asked?" Livy smiled. 

"I would beat his Aston Martin there on foot," Alex laughed. 

*** 

"Where are you kidnapping my daughter to?" Livy asked as she came out and Alex was bundling her up in her bright pink jacket. 

"I have an errand to run," Alex told her standing up. "Thought you could use some quiet time!" 

"That's not necessary," Livy argued. "If you have things to do, then do them. You guys don't have to put your life on hold for us! Or feel the need to take Nora with you." 

"We aren't," Alex assured her. "I need a tempting treat for the wolves, so I thought Nora would be the perfect bait!" Alex winked at Nora who widened her eyes at the thought of being wolf bait. 

"Well, I feel sorry for the wolves already!" Livy smiled shaking her head. 

*** 

"Whose place is this?" Nora asked looking up at her as she held her Aunt's hand. 

"This is Madelyn's place," Alex said down to her. 

"Is she a queen?" Nora asked. "This place is as big as a castle!" Her voice raising with excitement. 

"It is," Alex agreed looking around at the grounds with Nora. "I guess Madelyn is a queen." 

"Should I bow?" Nora asked her. 

"Yes," Alex laughed. "We both will!" 

Charles opened the door and smiled broadly at her. His eyes shifted to Nora and the confusion washed through his eyes. 

"This is my niece, Charles," Alex introduced them. Chuckling internally that Charles may be thinking Nora was her daughter, and it was unknown to them. "Nora, this is Sir Charles, he takes care of Queen Madelyn." 

"Hello Sir Charles," Nora bowed to him. Charles, without missing a beat, played along, seeing the game being played for Nora. He bowed formally. 

"Princess Nora," Charles bowed graciously. "Please enter the castle and I will alert the Queen she has guests!" 

The two girls entered the hallway and as he started to walk away Alex stopped him. 

"Charles," she said softly. "Has she taken her medicine today?" Charles tilted his head at her and smiled. 

*** 

"Not one beautiful princess, but two!" Madelyn beamed as she entered the parlor. Nora and Alex stood and both bowed to her, which caused her to laugh. 

"Rise my pretties!" Madelyn smiled as she came over. She hugged Alex warmly and then turned her attention to Nora. 

"My, my, my!" Madelyn raved. "You look like Princess Alexandria!" 

"Yes, ma'am," Nora beamed looking at Alex. "That's what everybody says!" 

"So," Madelyn smiled as she ran her hands through Nora's hair, as she smiled at the small child and thought of the possibilities of Gavin and Alex with children. "Come to yell at me as well?" 

"Of course not," Alex smiled holding her hand out. Madelyn looked to it confused then held hers out to take whatever Alex had in her hand. 

Alex dropped the medicine into Madelyn's palm and this caused her to laugh. 

"I warned you," Alex said handing her a glass of water. "Now I get to show you my Switch." 

"You can't spank a Queen!" Nora gasped, missing the meaning. 

"Watch me," Alex said firmly not taking her eyes off Madelyn. 

"Oh my!" Madelyn laughed as she popped the pills in her mouth and took the water from Alex. "Better?" 

"For today," Alex nodded taking her into a hug and holding her. 

"You scared us," Alex whispered. "We love you, don't do something to deprive us of you!" 

"No chance," Madelyn smiled from within the embrace. "I have something to stick around for now!" 

Alex released her and tilted her head. 

"A wedding!" Madelyn smiled. 

"Whose?" Alex asked. 

"Yours," Madelyn told her with a wink. "Not yet, but I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel!" 

*** 

"Madelyn said she was visited by two beautiful princesses," Gavin pointed out over dinner later that evening. 

"We went to see her today!" Nora blurted excitedly. 

"I know," Gavin smiled. "She said you were the prettiest thing she had ever seen!" 

"I know," Nora nodded. "I don't think I'm as pretty as mommy or Aunt Alex, but I promise to take my vitamins and grow up big and strong! Then I can wear pretty dresses like Aunt Alex and drive a car like Aunt Alex and visit Queens!" 

"Well," Gavin agreed with a nod. "That would do it." He winked at her then turned his eyes to Alex. 

"She said to tell you not to come up there just to make sure she is taking her pills," Gavin informed her. 

"She did, did she?" Alex asked carefully watching him. She didn't know if he would be mad at her for exerting her Switch on Madelyn. "Do you not want me to?" 

"No...I absolutely want you to go," Gavin shrugged. "She won't listen to me, she won't listen to Anzi. Perhaps you two can break through that thick skull of hers!" 

*** 

"Perhaps he didn't understand me," Madelyn frowned as she entered the parlor where Alex and Nora stood the next day. 

"No," Alex shook her head. "He understood perfectly, then he said I should continue, as you wish to be stubborn!" 

"Alexandria," Madelyn said as patiently as she could. 

"You don't own me," Alex warned her firmly, again using the subtle innuendos from their life, like the Disney movies of today with their references that children wouldn't get but the parents being drug to theater would. "Gavin told me to, so I have to do what he commands. You know this." 

Alex looked to Madelyn as Nora held out her medicine to her. Madelyn took it with a deep breath and a scowl at Alex. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 27



"This will be addressed," Madelyn threatened. 

"Yes Mistress," Alex smiled. "But until I'm told otherwise, expect us...daily." 

*** 

Gavin was chuckling as he entered the condo. 

"No," Gavin laughed. "I understand." He nodded as the person on the other end continued to talk. 

"I understand." 

"Yep." 

"I understand." 

"Yep." 

"I heard you the first time." 

"Yep." 

He looked to Alex and Livy who were looking at him as Nora took his bag from his hand and set it in its normal spot for him. He rubbed her head in a thank you. 

"I understand." He shook his head as he covered his mouth. His smile seen through his fingers letting the girls know this was not an unpleasant conversation, just a very one sided one. 

"Yep." 

"Yep." He finally let loose a hard laugh. 

"No, of course I'm not laughing at you!" Gavin defended. "I just find it really funny that you think you can boss me around! Me! Of all people!" 

This set whoever he was talking to into a frenzy as he pulled the phone from his ear and held it by his side obviously not caring about what was being said. He shook his head as he leaned in and kissed Alex and blew air into Nora's neck causing her to cackle. He put the phone back to his ear. 

"Well," Gavin interrupted. "It was real nice getting yelled at by you." He listened to the person on the other end, before turning his eyes to Alex. 

"Alex," Gavin sighed pulling the phone from his ear. "Madelyn wants to know if you are insisting on coming out there tomorrow?" 

"Give me the phone," Alex demanded getting up and going to him. 

"Uh-oh," Gavin laughed into the phone. "Now you have gone and done it!" He handed the phone to Alex. 

"Hey Madelyn," Alex said sweetly, her voice sticky sugar sweet and patronizing. "Of course I plan to come up there tomorrow, and the next day. And the day after that! I'm going to come up every day until you realize that those pills will be taken every day!" 

This sent Madelyn into a fury on the phone and Alex smiled as she took the berating. 

"Ok," Alex smiled. "See you tomorrow." Showing she was not going to relent in her new found duty. She then listened and starting laughing but covered the mouthpiece up so Madelyn couldn't hear it. "You promise?" 

"Ok," Alex agreed finally. "As long as I have your word, no more screwing around. Take your pills." She nodded as she winked at Gavin. "Ok, do me a favor? Put Charles on?" 

"Because I want to talk to him about something Nora left there," Alex said with a shake of her head at Livy to tell her that was a lie. 

"Hi Charles," Alex smiled sitting down. Her entire demeanor changed, it went from laughing to a seriousness more suited for a trial. "If she hasn't taken it by ten a.m., I want a phone call. If I don't get that phone call and I find out she isn't taking her medicine...I'm going to hold you personally responsible and you will both hate it when I come up!" With that she hit the off button and handed it to Gavin. 

"Oh man!" Gavin smiled leaning in and kissing her again. "Can I pick'em or what?" 

*** 

Gavin met Alex coming out of the master bathroom. 

"Hey," she smiled as he blocked her into the doorframe. 

"Hey," he said as he devoured her neck. "I've been dying to taste you all fucking day!" 

"As you wish! Sir," she smiled. 

He took hold of her gruffly there in the doorway. Lifting a leg up and putting it on his shoulder to rest as he devoured her sex. He didn't even bother to take the dress off of her, just pushing it up and over his head. 

"Holy shit!" she gasped as he buried his tongue. "Man, when you get a craving!" She teased as she opened herself as much as she could. 

His aggressiveness reminded her of the movie Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, when Jim Carrey's character had returned a dog and the voluptuous owner went down on him in the doorway. Leaving him only to stand there in the camera shot with his entire body being thrust to and fro as she 'paid' him. The entire time he said 'real friendly here!' The scene had her and Lena rolling in the aisle of the theater. 

Coming back up and he captured her mouth with the same ferocity as he had below. She clutched the doorway to keep from touching him. He took her lip into his teeth and pulled it out gently before releasing it as he unzipped the back of her dress and let it drop to the floor leaving her in only her strapless bra and black stockings with matching garter belt. 

"I have one question for you before you pleasure me into oblivion," Alex stopped him. 

"Perhaps I'm not in a question and answer mood?" Gavin grinned. She shrugged with her eyebrows as his lips ran across her newly available skin. "Ask your question." 

"Before we left for my parent's house," she whispered as he continued to play with her body with his hands and mouth. "You were torturing me?" 

"I don't remember it that way," Gavin smiled as she bit her nipple causing her to gasp. 

"I was whining?" Alex reminded. 

"That I remember," he said moving to the other nipple to caress it hard with his tongue and teeth. 

"You indicated you had multiple Christmas gifts for me," she reminded. He stopped and moved up to her face to rub her nose with his, and run his tongue across her lips. 

"I do," he smiled. 

"You do?" 

"I do," he repeated. She didn't respond, instead she closed her eyes and smile wickedly. "What?" he asked her concerned. 

"I just love to hear those words from your lips!" she teased. The tease of marriage promises. 

"You want the other gift now?" he asked her. 

"NO!" she blurted. "I don't want it at all! It's just driving me nuts that I can't figure it out!" 

"Ah," he laughed. "Stuck in your crawl is it?" 

"Very," she pouted. He moved away from her. 

"Close your eyes," he commanded. 

His voice unmistakable. This was not the boyfriend Gavin he had been portraying in front of Livy and Nora, or her family back in Pennsylvania. This was the Dom Gavin. The one not to be argued with or denied. She did as instructed. He moved away from her, presumably to get the gift. 

"Turn around," he ordered and she did. "Lift your hair on top of your head." 

She took her hands and ran her fingers up her neck to pull her brown hair up on top and out of his way. He wasted no time and clamped his lips on the back of her luxuriously long neck. It caused a tidal wave of goosebumps across her body, her nipples got even harder than they were when he used his mouth on them, in sweet anticipation. 

She shivered involuntarily at the sensations he was causing with his lips and tongue on the sensitive spot on her neck. Her body shook with excitement as his manipulation overwhelmed her body. It had been days since he ravaged her sexually. Since the kitchen before they left for Christmas. 

Yes he had fingered her in the car, and yes he had tongue fucked her into multiple orgasms in the hotel. But none of that was remotely as pleasurable as his cock in her, or a session! Since Nora and Livy had been there, they had not done a scene and she was unaware how much she was missing it until he was taking her there in the doorway to the bathroom! 

The cold, heavy feel of metal and something else around her neck caused her to gasp. Was he going to use some sort of new sex toy on her? One that would simulate his hand around her throat? It was cold and it was snug against her neck, it encircled her whole neck with the metal like feel. Like chain mail, at least three inches thick, and surrounding her throat all the way around. 

She thought back to her first party, one of the shows had a woman being choked by the Dom with a leather strap. He would hold her oxygen off until she blued in the face. Was this going to be similar? She didn't know if she would enjoy that, but it was Gavin, as long as he was playing with her she was up for anything, well anything but the electro toy on her feet, she remembered the night at Alyssa's with a smile. 

She felt his fingers clasp it into place before sliding his hands around her body and cupping her breasts from behind. Now his lips moved closer to her hair line, as whatever he wrapped around his throat kept him from nibbling as before. 

"Now," he smiled as he licked her earlobe. "You have to promise to not go ballistic." 

"You know I can't make that promise," she whispered. This caused him to chuckle. He turned on the bathroom light with a click. 

"Open your eyes," he whispered in her ear as he held her tight to his body so she could feel his excitement. Her eyes fell to her neck in the mirror and she found herself unable to breathe. She was physically unable to breathe. 

"Breathe," he reminded when he saw her response in the mirror with his secret smile. She sucked in a quick gasp on command. 

Her fingers came to her throat shaking, he could see them tremble in the mirror. She lightly touched the diamond and sapphire choker that now encompassed her throat. Three complete lines of alternating diamonds and sapphires going completely around her neck to the clasp in the back. Hanging in the front was a diamond filled gold cursive "A" with a cursive "G" in sapphires wrapped around the "A". Intertwining the two letters permanently. 

There must have been over a hundred stones wrapped up in the necklace easily. She trailed her fingers around her neck, touching each and every jewel. Each and every detail. Each and every expensive stone. 

"Holy fucking shit!" she whispered her first words. "Are you fucking kidding me?" she asked him in the mirror. He nibbled on her shoulder as he smiled. 

"This is your new collar," he told her. "For parties." 

"Are you out of your fantastically generous mind?" She whispered. "How much did you spend on this?" 

"Hmm," he smiled. "You wouldn't tell me...so I'm not obliged to tell you!" 

"Sir!" Alex was in tears. But no words came out after that. 

She had a million words flood her mind but each and every word got lost on the way to her mouth as each word seemed to be in awe of the choker she now wore. Each word unworthy of escaping her lips in the presence of the exquisite piece of jewelry. 

Her tears streamed down her face as he looked up to her in the mirror while he marked her shoulder with his mouth. The emotions of the moment overwhelming her as she stood there. She whimpered while she locked eyes on him as he rewarded her with what she deemed as good girl marks. 

"Can the wolf come out and play?" she finally managed to ask him in the mirror. 

"He wants to," Gavin smiled at her invitation. 

"I want him," she said firmly. "I want him now, and only him!" 

She spun and kissed him hard, her hands wrapping in the folds of his shirt and holding him tightly. She bit his lip. Hard. Almost drawing blood. He stared at her as his heart beat on his rib cage. 

"I want him," she whispered again as she slipped by him. 

She went to the bed and stalked sultrily across it in a crawl. Her ass in the air as she lowered her face to the mattress making him swallow hard at the double invitation. Her voice and her positioning. 

"Come...take me, Sir," She said from the bed. "I want you." 

Easing back into the bedroom he looked at her in the bedside lamp. The light reflecting off her anal plug. It was emerald tonight. She had moved up in sizes he noticed. He ran his hands over her firm muscles in her ass. His fingers curving around her cheeks. 

His thumb falling in the valley of her as she presented herself to him. His thumb coming to rest on the jeweled end of the plug. 

"Take it out," she whispered. "And take me the way the wolf has been begging you to!" 

"You are not ready for that," he whispered. Mesmerized with the idea of doing just that. 

"I want to satisfy that wolf," she said looking back at him. "Fuck me in the ass. Don't make love to me, or pleasure me. Use me! Fuck me! Nothing gentle! If I'm able to sit down tomorrow, I will be disappointed!" 

This caused Gavin to groan, and her to smile upon hearing the delicious sound of his weakness. Just a little more pushing, she felt. A little more and he wouldn't be able to stop the wolf. It would be out and on her and there would be no way she would stop him. She would swallow the bed covers before she allowed herself to say her safe words! 

He gently removed the plug from her and she gasped with its release. 

"Please Sir," She begged softly. "Take me where you want, how you want, for as long as you can!" 

Gavin buried his tongue into her ass, and she smiled. This was it she told herself. He was going to do it. Something she had been preparing herself for almost eight months! She was finally going to please him in a way only Elizabeth had been able to do since she came here. 

His tongue pressed deeply in her ass, forcing its way in her before it closed completely from having the toy removed. While his tongue forced into an area she wanted his cock in, his thumb pushed into her sex causing a double penetration of exquisite pleasure. 

She rocked back onto his face, forcing his tongue into her deeper and deeper as he tried to get into her bowels it seemed with his talented tongue! She clutched the covers on the bed into her fingers. Taking a firm grip to prepare herself for the ravenous wolf. And it would be ravenous. Anytime the wolf came out, it was an attack her body reveled in. He was in her, on her, and around her. Seemingly all at once. Like there was more than one Gavin. 

She felt his fingers leave her and heard his zipper being pulled down. He wasn't even going to take the time to get fully undressed! He was just going to pull his cock out and shove it in her! God she loved that, that ability to make him bend his rules. She balanced herself as she felt him climb onto the bed. The weight of him between her legs causing her to push her knees further apart for balance. 

The invasion was sudden and it was hard. It was also absolutely fulfilling! She grunted as he buried his hot shaft deep within her pussy in one strong stroke. His hips slamming against the skin of her ass with a force that rocked her forward. It forced her face to slide a bit across the bedspread. 

"Yes Sir!" she hissed as his balls slapped at her clit with such a force she thought he hit her by hand. 

His hands dug into her as his fingers held her hips firm. 

"Fuck me," she hissed. "I want it!" She looked back at him. 

"No, I need it!" she corrected causing him to smile, not Gavin's smile. The wolf's smile. Part sinister, part devious, and all about his pleasure. Normally she could see the wolf behind the eyes. Stalking behind the cage of his brown irises. Not tonight, he was buried balls deep in her. 

He pushed her forward with his hands and pulled his cock out slowly with his hips, just as she thought he was going to pull all the way out, he pulled with his hands and drove his hips forward and slammed into her with a crash that would have set airbags off in the car! 

Slowly pulling back out, before driving home again. Over and over. Slowly...then plowing home with a grunt that caused her yelp under his power. 

Gavin pulled his cock out slowly, this time as she prepared to take him deeply again, he fell out of her. She then felt his heavy head on the entrance of her forbidden hole. The hole that had only been entered one other time by a cock. 

She held her breath, realized she was doing so, then slowly blew it out in an attempt to relax all her muscles to keep this from hurting. Despite all the preparation she knew this was still going to be painful. She just didn't know how painful. 

Would it feel like the first time? With her inexperienced overzealous boyfriend? Would the anal plug regimen she had been working on take some of the pain away? Most of it? All of it? She doubted it would take all of it, she was hoping for most of it, but in reality she was only putting a toy in her that was a fraction of the size of Gavin. So there would be pain involved. 

There was only a flicker of concern in her that he would drive home the way he had his other thrusts. Then she abandoned that concern. She didn't care. This would please him like she hadn't been able to before. That was the only important thing right now. He hesitated as he looked at his bulbous head resting against her tight anus. Pressing there causing it to indent under his weight. 

She looked back at him and found him hypnotized by the sight. 

"Fuck my ass sir," she whispered. "Satisfy the wolf!" 

His eyes shifted from the delectable sight of her ass, to the oasis of her blue eyes. They did not lie, she wanted this. The wolf's smile slithered across his face and she matched it with one of her own. The secret smile, the one she wore only for him now. The same he returned to her. 

The soft knocking at the door was almost missed in the passion of the moment. 

"Aunt Alex?" Nora's voice carried from the other side causing Alex to snap her head to the door and realized there was no lock on it! The sheer panic of having the small girl walk in and find them in this position flooded her. That was a conversation she did not want to have! 

"Just a minute Baby!" Gavin called out, his voice fighting back the laughter and anger and the mounds of frustration. "Uncle Gavin is getting ready for bed!" He was off the bed in a flash and grabbing her robe and holding it for her. 

Alex mouth hung agape as she looked to him, a tear in her eyes as her lip trembled. She had him! The wolf! She had Gavin where he was going to take her in ways she had been dreaming about since the jealous filled night she saw Elizabeth please him. 

"I'm so sorry!" She gasped as she climbed from the bed. 

"It's fine," he said through the strain. He was still laughing but that was only to cover for the immense disappointment of not being able satisfying himself. 

She clutched his face with her hands and kissed his lips apologetically repeatedly. 

"Go to her," he smiled stopping her with his hands. "I'm fine!" 

He slipped into the bathroom as she made her way to the door and looked back just as the bathroom door closed. She wrapped the belt around her and stomped her foot childishly as she realized just how close she was! 

"Fuck!" she hissed as she took hold of the door handle. 

She gathered herself and blew out a deep calming breath. She could still feel the pounding of her heart in her chest, part passion and part shock of being in the throes of sex only to have a small voice cause it to come to a crashing halt. 

"Mommy is crying in the bathroom!" Nora said through tear filled eyes as soon as Alex opened the door. 

"Oh baby! Ok!" Alex said pulling her into a firm hug and kissing her head. 

"She is fine," Alex said holding her. "I'm sure of it!" 

"I'm scared!" Nora cried into her. "I just want my happy mommy back! Not the one that daddy hurt!" 

Alex looked back at Gavin as he exited the bathroom with his sleep clothes on. She could still see his cock was semi hard as he looked to them and climbed into bed and pulled the covers over him to protect his secret. 

"Come up here, Princess," Gavin said patting the bed. "Let Alex and your mommy talk and we will watch a movie in here on pay per view." 

Alex tilted the little girl's head back and smiled at her. 

"Go keep Uncle Gavin company," Alex smiled at her. "I'll check on mommy." 

She looked back at Gavin with a massive apology in her eyes and he winked at her as Nora climbed into bed with him. Pushing the remote to turn the TV on he found the pay per view channels and they selected the movie Frozen, which she had seen a hundred times but Gavin hadn't, and he told her so. 

Alex tapped gently on the door and put her ear close and listened. She heard her sister sobbing. 

"Just a few more minutes baby! Get into bed for mommy," Livy called out from behind the door, thinking it was Nora again. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 27



Alex cracked the door and peeked in and saw Livy on the tile floor, her body distraught with sadness and tears. Alex slipped in the door and Livy looked up at her, her eyes crushed Alex with her sadness. 

Alex laid on the floor with her sister, and pulled her into her arms and held her tightly as the woman shook with her sadness. Livy's hands clutching at her robe like a child would on a storm filled night of thunder and lightning. 

"I'm getting a divorce!" Livy finally gasped in between sobs. "I'm...getting a...divorce!" 

"I'm so sorry baby," Alex whispered as she pulled her in tighter and kissed her head with tenderness as the tears filled her own eyes then drop to Livy's hair. 

The sobbing intensified as Alex hung on to her sister. There was nothing to say. No words to speak that would comfort her. No story to help her through this, this was the only way to get to the other side. The other side where a possible happiness could be had. If she could only get Livy to the other side, through the dense fog of pain. 

Right now, she could only hold her and let her cry it out. It could take minutes, it could take hours. It might even take days. But this was the road to recovery. It was filled with pot holes of pain, however. Alex held her sister as tightly as she could. It didn't feel like a real person in her arms. This body felt foreign to her and she couldn't place an identity on her. Olivia was gone for the moment. The timing of her return, was questionable.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 28



Chapter 30 

It took Alex over an hour just to get Livy off the cold tile of the bathroom. The crying didn't stop but she was able to guide her to guest bedroom and into bed. She tucked her in and kissed her like she was a small child. 

Alex got in on the other side and gently stroked the side of her sister's face. The woman was an absolute mess. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from her tears. Her face red from all the muscles straining from the physical pain that comes with the utter desolation of pain. 

"I'm so sorry," Livy finally was able to say when her voice could be used for something other than the soft wailing her tears brought on. Her voice was rough and scratchy from them. 

"There is absolutely no reason to apologize," Alex said firmly. "I love you, I'm here for you. No matter what your decision is, I will stand by your side and give you whatever you need!" 

"My decision is...I'm getting a divorce!" Livy repeated what her final words were in the bathroom. 

"Ok, baby," Alex said with as much strength as she could bestow on her sister. "Then that is what we will do, we will get you a divorce." 

"Is it the right decision?" Livy asked her. 

"I don't know," Alex said softly. "I can't answer for you, only you will be able to tell yourself if it is the right thing to do!" 

She stroked her sister's face constantly trying to comfort her. There were no words in the English language that would make the pain go away. She wished there were. She would use them all on Livy. 

"I can tell you, you deserve happiness! I can tell you, it won't always be this pain! I can tell you, that I love you! But I can't tell you if this is right or wrong," Alex smiled gently putting her hand on her sisters chest. "Only this can." 

"I want happiness," Livy whispered. "I want the fairy tale that I keep telling Nora is true." 

"Life is not the fairy tale we see in our shows," Alex cautioned. "There are real life monsters and villains out there, we need to prepare ourselves and her for that as well!" 

"There are real life knights as well," Livy smiled touching Alex's face. "One is here in this bed, the other is probably with my daughter caring for her, with the same love he showers you with!" 

"My Gavin is what men should aspire to be," Alex smiled with a nod. "But even he is not perfect. He is only perfect...for me." 

"What the hell is that?" Livy asked her eyes staring at Alex's throat. Alex touched where Livy's eyes were locked. She felt the choker. She had forgotten it was on. She smiled sheepishly. This was her collar, the one she was supposed to wear at parties to show she was owned, but there is no way she could tell her sister that! 

"This is another Christmas gift," Alex smiled as she touched it with her sister. "The man is just going to spoil me rotten!" 

This caused Livy to laugh with Alex, the final release of the pain for the night. 

"Do you think the stones are real?" Livy asked her in disbelief. 

"I know my Gavin," Alex nodded. "It's real." 

"Holy shit!" Livy gasped which made Alex laugh as Livy rarely swore. 

"I had the same response," Alex giggled. 

*** 

Once Livy had finally fallen asleep, exhaustion from her pain filled night finally taking over. Alex watched her sister sleep for a few moments. She felt so sorry for her sister, she wanted to drive to Pennsylvania and beat the shit out of Don, but that wasn't going to happen. 

She then thought the worst of worsts, what if Gavin left her? The thought snuck into her mind and caused as much damage as it could before she was able to push it out. If she thought that was a possibility, then it would poison the relationship. When she first entered this relationship, Gavin told her he would earn her trust. At the time she thought that meant sexually, now looking back, it meant she would have to trust him with everything. 

Easing out of bed to not wake her sister, she quietly closed the door to the bedroom and went to the master bedroom where Gavin was. She quietly opened the door hoping Nora was asleep, she found them both asleep. She closed the door and leaned against it for a moment. Looking at Gavin as he held her niece protectively by his side. 

A small smile crept across her face as she touched the necklace, she reached back and removed it. Finding the box for it she put it up and looked at it for a few seconds. It was a dream, all of this must be some elaborate, fantastically magical dream. One she hoped she never woke up from. 

She eased into her side of the bed and Gavin opened his eyes, he looked to Nora then back to Alex. Shuffling closer to them she draped her arm over Gavin and he did the same with her forming a bridge of protection over Nora. 

"How is she?" Gavin whispered. 

"She has decided on the big 'D'," Alex frowned. 

"Well that is unfortunate, but really, it's the only logical decision," Gavin whispered. "She forgave him once, this is not something that is forgivable in my opinion." 

"I agree," Alex said with a small tear. Gavin caught it before it fell. 

"Giving you doubts on marriage?" Gavin asked her. 

"On marriage? Yes. On you? Absolutely not," Alex admitted firmly. 

"I love you," Gavin told her and the words melted her. "I only need you." 

"What about a little one like this?" Alex smiled with a nod towards Nora. 

"One or two," he smiled. "As long as we buy a lock for the bedroom door!" 

This made her giggle in remembrance of the panic she felt that Nora almost caught them in the middle of their sinning. 

"You are so good with her," Alex lauded. 

"I want one," he smiled. "Not right away, but soon." 

"I want to give you one," she smiled. "Boy or a girl?" 

"I don't care," he said kissing Nora's head as she mumbled in her sleep. "Healthy, happy, and looks like you, that are my only requirements." 

"I want him to look like you," Alex countered. 

"Him?" Gavin smiled. 

"Him," she said firmly. She wanted the dream. The full dream. Gavin, her and a son. 

*** 

Alex woke the next morning but Gavin had changed positions. He was no longer on his side of the bed, he was behind her and Nora was sprawled out on his side. Nearly sideways in the bed. She felt him against her backside and smiled. It brought back the memories of how close she was to pleasing him completely. 

She reached out and stroked Nora's hair softly. 

"You are going to wake her," Gavin's warm voice said from behind her. 

"Nothing can make you forget about your problems like looking at an innocent child," Alex told him. 

"Agreed," Gavin said nuzzling her neck. She rubbed her backside in a tease against his groin. "Hey now!" he warned. 

"Sorry Sir," she smiled. "I was just stretching!" He kissed her from the side. 

"How do we help her?" Alex asked him. "Livy is going to need a lot of help." 

"With whatever she needs," he turned her head with his fingers. "I want you to listen to me, this is not up for debate, or refusal...if she needs something you take care of it, I don't care the cost." 

"Gavin," Alex closed her eyes. "I can't spend your money like that!" 

"You need to stop thinking of it that way," Gavin told her. "She needs lawyers, she needs a place to live. She needs a do over in life. That won't be easy emotionally, the last thing she needs is to worry about how to pay for it." 

"But it's your money," Alex argued softly. 

"And I can spend it how I see fit," Gavin said firmly. "I have the means, so take care of her. This is not up for debate, Little One." 

*** 

Gavin was pulling a jacket on Nora as she smiled and hopped excitedly. 

"Where are you two going?" Livy's voice stopped her from hopping. 

"Uncle Gavin is taking me to the Aquarium!" Nora yelled. 

"He is?" Livy forced a smile. 

"Chicago has a great aquarium," Gavin told her. "Thought you and Alex could do some retail therapy, maybe a nice lunch." 

"You don't have to Gavin!" Livy gasped. "You have your work!" 

"I have taken the day off," Gavin told her. 

"A day off?" Livy asked. 

She was surprised as Alex had mentioned he didn't have off days with the type of physician he was. He only had days he may not work, for him to take an off day would take some sort of miracle. 

"Yeah, it's a first for me," Gavin nodded. "Alex has been hounding me to do some days off." 

"C'mon Uncle Gavin!" Nora pulled. 

"Gotta go," Gavin winked. "The boss said it's time!" 

*** 

Sitting in the food area of Shedd Aquarium, Gavin realized just how out of shape he was. He could barely keep up with the "Energizer Bunny" who seemed to run from tank to tank. The only time he got her to sit down was during the dolphin show they went to, and that was only when she wasn't jumping up and down in front of her seat. 

They were planning their next move, they had seen all of the aquarium and now were debating a trip to the Adler Planetarium or the Field Museum. She was debating in her head after he gave her the choices. 

"Uncle Gavin," Nora said after wiping her mouth off with her hand that had him grimacing and touching up her face with a napkin. 

"Yes," he smiled with a shake of his head. 

"Are my mom and dad going to get a divorce?" she asked and he frowned that she would even know to ask the question. 

"Where did you hear that?" Gavin asked her, concerned that he heard he and Alex last night. 

"I heard Grandma and Aunt Krista talking about it," Nora said looking at him. "What is it?" 

"Um," Gavin stalled as his brain argued with itself whether he should address the question. 

He let out a deep sigh. Perhaps it would be better for him to discuss it with her, that way she got the unclouded truth. Not the truth according to the religious zealots in Pennsylvania. Not the sad truth from Livy who probably couldn't get through it without collapsing in a fit of tears, understandably. 

"A divorce is where a couple who are married, say they don't want to be married anymore. They decide to live separately," Gavin explained carefully watching the little girl's response. 

"So they don't live in the same house?" Nora asked. 

"That's part of it," Gavin agreed. 

"My mom and dad don't live together anymore," Nora pointed out. "So they are divorced?" 

"No," Gavin struggled. "It's more about going to court and telling a judge that you don't want to live together anymore. Then the judge decides who gets what. Who gets the house, the car, any money they have." 

He was trying to explain it in a way that she would understand. But how do you explain to a six year old something most adults don't understand. 

"Most of the time," Gavin continued. "Everything gets divided in the middle and everybody gets half." 

"What will happen to me?" Nora asked, the quiver of fear in her voice was impossible to miss. 

"You will stay with your mom, most of the time, then visit your dad too," Gavin assured her. 

"Where will we live?" Nora asked. 

"I don't know," Gavin shrugged. "You and your mommy will have to find someplace new to live, I guess." 

"And daddy will live with his new girlfriend?" Nora asked. 

This felt like a kick in the groin to Gavin, it made his stomach turn. How is this little girl supposed to deal with that knowledge? He suppressed the growl that was dying to get out of him. 

"I don't know what your dad will do," Gavin told her. 

She stabbed at her Dipping Dots ice cream with her spoon for a few moments and Gavin hoped she wouldn't ask any more questions. 

"Are they getting a divorce because of me?" The question crushed his heart before it was fully out of her innocent lips. 

"Look at me," Gavin commanded as he moved to kneel on the floor in front of her. "Listen very carefully to what I'm about to tell you." He picked up her hand and put it on his chest. "Do you know how the police know when you are lying to them?" She shook her head. 

"They put a machine on you that measures your heartbeat," Gavin told her. He continued to hold her tiny hand to her chest. "Can you feel my heartbeat?" She nodded with a smile. 

"If you lie, your heartbeat speeds up," he told her. "Your breathing speeds up. Do you understand?" She nodded. 

"Then know what I'm about to tell you is the truth," Gavin said firmly. "My heart won't let me lie to you, you will be able to tell...your parents getting a divorce has nothing to do with you. It is not your fault, it is theirs. I can't explain it, other than to say, sometimes...people decide they don't love one another anymore. They begin to fight a lot. They stop talking to one another, they stop doing things together." 

"When that happens, they get a divorce," Gavin said strongly, holding her hand to his chest. "It never has anything to do with the children they have. You are just caught in the middle. They both love you, very much! But they can't stay together and be happy. So they decide to live apart, be happy and love you." 

"This is not your fault," Gavin repeated. "This is your parent's fault. Your mom and dad's. No one else. They made the decisions to get them to this point." 

"Do you understand me?" Gavin asked her. She nodded, her tears hovering on the edge of her eyes. "Am I lying to you?" She looked to him and smiled. She shook her head. "It didn't speed up, did it?" She shook her head. "I swear to you, this had nothing to do with you." 

Chapter 31* 

"Oh my gosh!" Nora gushed as Alex came out of the bedroom. The white dress was flowing from her body like a wedding gown. She wanted to run to her Aunt but Livy stopped her. 

"Not with your grimy hands!" Livy laughed. "You will put hand prints on her." 

"You look beautiful," Nora smiled as she hopped on her knees on the couch. 

Alex turned a full turn, she left the back of her dress to them. 

"Too much?" She asked her sister. 

"I think it is the most drop dead gorgeous dress I have ever seen!" Livy said with a shake of her head. 

Alex looked at the mirrored wall. The white dress was a halter top type. It opened down the front, revealing her belly button. The two sides of the silk dress held together with soft lace. The back was completely open, her skin showing all the way down to about a half inch above her hips. 

The diamond and sapphire choker was already on, she touched it with a smile. Her collar, the one of ownership. Gavin came out in is tuxedo and Livy whistled at him while Nora tried to whistle like her mother. 

"Thank you ladies," Gavin bowed at them. He looked to Alex who smiled at him. He scanned her from head to toe and shook his head in disbelief. 

"Uncle Gavin," Nora said drawing his eyes from Alex. "What do you think of Aunt Alex? Isn't she gorgeous?" 

"I think," Gavin began slowly looking back at her. "That God has put an Angel here to keep me company! And gorgeous doesn't begin to describe her." 

This made Nora laugh as she covered her mouth in happiness. 

"Now," Alex smiled at them. "You guys enjoy the New Year." Alex said kissing them both while they sat on the couch. 

"Happy New Year," Gavin said kissing Nora on the head and then Livy on the cheek. 

"You guys have fun!" Livy said with a tinge of jealousy. "See you next year!" 

The couple laughed over their shoulders as they left the condo. 

"They look like they were going to get married!" Nora smiled. 

"Oh," Livy smiled pulling her daughter on her lap. "I can't wait to see that dress!" Referring to the wedding gown. 

"Aunt Alex looked just like a princess with her necklace!" Nora raved. 

"She did," Livy agreed. 

"That must mean Gavin is Prince Charming!" Nora looked up at her mother. 

"He absolutely is," Livy whispered kissing her daughter's nose. 

"Are there any more?" Nora asked. 

"I'm sure there is!" Livy assured her. 

"I love you mommy," Nora said softly kissing her mother's cheek. "We will be fine on our own!" 

Livy looked to her. 

"I know you and daddy will get a divorce," Nora said softly as her mother began to tear up. "But I will always love you, and as long as you always love me, we don't need anything else!" 

"I will love you all the way to my last breath!" Livy said strongly. "Together, we will be just fine!" 

Nora put a strong hug around her mother's neck and held her as her mother held her tiny body tightly in her arms. 

"Me and you, mommy," Nora whispered. "Me and you!" 

*** 

Alex and Gavin arrived at Madelyn's party with smiles on. They had teased each other all the way over. 

"Oh my!' Madelyn raved as soon as she saw her. Alex did a quick turn giving her the full view. "Shall I get the chair and the whip right now?" She asked Gavin who furrowed his brow in confusion. 

"You are going to be fighting off the animals with her looking like that!" Madelyn gushed. 

"Oh," Gavin laughed as Alex shook her head with a blush. 

"Now," Madelyn smiled looping her arms around both Alex and Gavin. "I want you on your best behavior tonight!" 

She said this looking at Gavin. 

"Why would I not be?" Gavin scoffed. 

"Royce is here," Madelyn told him. 

"Why would I care?" Gavin asked her, his tone said everything as both women looked at him. 

"The last time you two were in my house, you would have killed him," Madelyn pointed out. 

"I promise to behave!" Gavin said with his hand up in a mock swearing in. 

"That's all I'm asking," Madelyn told him. 

Standing in the doorway to the grand ballroom, Alex looked around and found Kelly who waved. She waved back just as some men called Gavin over. 

"Go on your way for now," Gavin said kissing her neck, just under her ear. "I will go mine, but I don't want you away from me tonight." 

"Yes Sir," she smiled. "I won't be long." 

She walked over and picked up a glass of champagne as she went. Arriving where Kelly, Lauren and Janna stood. 

"Don't think for one second, that just because we like you, doesn't mean we won't find some room and jack that necklace off you!" Lauren threatened with a broad smile. 

"No shit!" Janna laughed shaking her head as she stared at it. 

Kelly slipped her hand into Alex's and held it. 

"It's absolutely stunning!" Kelly gushed touching it. "Between that dress, your body, and that necklace, there isn't a tongue that isn't on the floor, or panties that aren't wet!" 

"For those of you wearing panties," Alex teased, just before taking a sip of champagne, which caused the girls to cackle at her allusion that she wasn't wearing any. 

"How is it going?" Janna asked her. 

"I want to thank you guys so much!" Alex said to them. "You guys really helped me out!" 

"So the advice we gave you helped?" Janna asked. 

"Immensely!" Alex assured her. 

"Hand over the necklace and we will call it even!" Lauren laughed getting a closer look. 

"Or Gavin for a night!" Kelly teased. 

"No," Alex said to Lauren. "And hell no!" Alex laughed to Kelly. 

"Did you see Beth?" Kelly asked carefully. 

"No! Is she here?" Alex smiled. Kelly tilted her head and Alex looked to where she was pointing. Alex had to do a double take, it barely looked like her. 

Gone was the long flowing locks of raven hair that Alex admired so much. Elizabeth had cut her hair very short, and the makeup she normally wore lightly was now much heavier. She had lost the regal look that Alex loved so much. She was very thin still, not gaining any weight back from her flu. 

Royce stood off the side, a leash hooked to her collar as she stood there looking defeated while she looked to the floor. While Royce laughed and joked with the men around him having a grand time it appeared. She talked and joked with no one. Standing alone in a crowded room. 

"What's with the fucking leash?" Alex growled, thinking of the sheer amount of disrespect that included. She had seen it before, but not on someone like Elizabeth. 

"Some Dom's do that," Janna frowned. "You don't normally see that with an accomplished sub at a party such as this, but it's done." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 28



"Horrible!" Alex gasped. She started to walk over, when Janna stopped her by gently taking her arm. The fire flashed through Alex's eyes, but Janna smiled sympathetically. 

"Where are you going?" Kelly asked her. 

"I'm going over to say hello," Alex told them with an anger that said this was not just a 'hello' moment. They looked to one another. 

"Be respectful," Lauren cautioned. 

"I will be," Alex laughed trying to act casual. 

"She means," Janna clarified. "Ask permission to talk to her." 

"Why?" Alex asked. 

"It could be a punishment," Lauren told her. "The leash, it could be a type of punishment." 

"Ok," Alex said softly. 

Then everything hit her, this was not the time and place to campaign for Elizabeth to rethink her choice in Doms. Not that she wanted Elizabeth back at the condo, not that Gavin would take her back. She knew that this was Madelyn's home. This was a lifestyle of respect. She may not agree with all of it, but she had to respect all the choices of the parties involved as they respected her and Gavin. 

"So I need to ask Royce for permission to talk to her," Alex frowned. 

That was not what she wanted to do, talk to the one man who gave her pause in this lifestyle. But this was Elizabeth's choice, a poor one, but it was her choice. She thought back to what Gavin had told her back in Pennsylvania, with her mother and father. If you respected one, you had to show some modicum of respect for the other. So much of what Gavin was telling her was useful in both worlds she lived in. The Vanilla, and the BDSM world. 

"Yes," Kelly said carefully. "You will have to talk to that asshole!" Alex nodded and patted her hand. 

Kelly didn't want her to go over, it was evident in her voice. But if she knew Alex better, she knew she had to go over. Even Alex couldn't explain why she had to go over other than loyalty. 

Walking up to the group of men, they stopped talking to each other and all eyes fell on her as she approached. Royce turned his eyes to her and gave her a solid once over. His smile twisting in pleasure as she bowed her head respectfully. 

"Excuse me, gentlemen," Alex said with her eyes on the floor. "Master Royce, may I speak with your sub?" 

Royce smiled as he thought of the things he would like to do to Alex, the list was endless. Alex waited. She could feel his dirty eyes on her, she could feel him undressing her. Feel his eyes as he imagined her in positions she didn't want to think about with him. She didn't want to be within fifty feet of this disgusting scum bag, but she wanted to check on Elizabeth. 

The seconds seemed like minutes as she felt him undress her, not that there was a lot of imagination necessary for the dress she wore, but she wore the dress for one man and one man only. And this one wasn't it, if you could even call him a man. 

"Royce," came a firm voice. One of the men he was speaking with drew his eyes from her. "The young lady has asked you a question, do not disrespect her or her Dom." The man said firmly. 

Alex recognized him from the other two parties. He was always surrounded by people. Gavin had told her he was a money man. One that had the financial clout to make or break people. Evidently Royce was schmoozing the man. 

Alex took a chance and peeked at the man coming to her defense. He seemed perturbed at the way Royce was looking at her. He was definitely more along the line of Gavin's way of thinking than Royce's, and that was respect above all else. 

"Of course you may, Alex," Royce smiled at her. He reached over and undid the leash from Elizabeth's collar. "Don't be too long." He said to Elizabeth. She nodded. 

"Thank you, Sir," Elizabeth whispered. She started to move away, but stopped when Alex didn't move. 

"Thank you, Sir," Alex said with her head down. She then turned to the man that spoke for her on her behalf. "Thank you, Sir," Alex said bowing her head to him. 

"The pleasure was all mine," the man bowed his head back at her. "If I might be so bold, you Dom is a very lucky man!" 

"You flatter me, Sir," Alex smiled politely. "When I am the lucky one for my Sir! Happy New Year." 

"Happy New Year," the men in the group replied. 

Alex guided Elizabeth away and lost her smile as she pulled Elizabeth to the bar. 

"How are you?" Alex asked her losing her grace and charm. 

"I'm fine!" Elizabeth assured her. "I love that dress! And that necklace is amazing!" 

"Thank you," Alex frowned. She realized Elizabeth was fully into denial mode, switching the subject from her to Alex. "It was a Christmas gift." 

"He never showered me with such luxuries," Elizabeth said twisting her lips. Elizabeth touched the necklace with her fingers, her regal smile much more of that of a beauty contestants. There, but not real. Make believe. 

"What is with the leash?" Alex asked not responding to the statement reading the smile easily. Elizabeth's jealousy coming back up, like at the restaurant with Lena. 

"Oh," Elizabeth shrugged. "It is a punishment." 

"For what?" 

"For not being where I was supposed to be!" Elizabeth laughed. "I was grounded and I went out for groceries, when he came over, I was gone and I wasn't supposed to be!" 

"So he put a leash on you?" Alex asked. 

"To remind me to stay where I'm supposed to be!" she winked at Alex. She saw the emphatic roll of Alex's eyes. "Don't tell me Gavin hasn't punished you in some odd manner!" 

"He hasn't," Alex said firmly. "And you know better, this is beneath Gavin." 

"Oh, I forgot! You're little Miss Perfect!" Elizabeth drawled her temper bubbling to the surface. "Miss Alexandria would never do anything wrong!" 

"I never said I was perfect," Alex growled at her. "I've suffered some consequences." 

"Yeah, it looks like it!" Elizabeth pointed out taking hold of her collar. 

"I can't dictate what I wear for ownership, obviously any more than you can!" Alex pointed out taking hold of her collar. "Why are you acting like this?" 

"Why do you insist on rubbing in the fact that Gavin cares for you more than he did me!" Elizabeth suddenly raged. It caused those around them to look at them. Alex looked around and realized they were drawing attention. Attention she didn't want. 

"I'm not doing that," Alex pointed out softly. "You are believing that." 

"Really?" Elizabeth growled. "Driving around in your little Mercedes, with your expensive dresses and expensive jewelry. Getting your friends jobs! Didn't think of the one friend that brought you into this life, did you?" 

"I didn't know anything about you being out of a job, nor did Gavin," Alex defended. "I didn't even know Gavin was getting Lena that job, I was recovering from pneumonia when Gavin decided to help her!" 

"Well it's a good thing you have a doctor to take care of you!" Elizabeth hissed. 

"You chose to leave," Alex pointed out, her anger seeping out. "I didn't force you out!" 

"Oh, no?" Elizabeth smiled falsely. "How could I possibly stay with the way he was looking at you? The way he was bending over for you? Violating his precious absolutes!" 

"What are you raving about?" Alex asked her totally confused. Elizabeth shook her head and pouted. Alex shook her head and leaned into her. 

"Just remember," Alex told her as she got close. "The first absolute he violated, he violated for you!" 

"What?" Elizabeth growled. 

"He violated his absolute of only one sub, because you brought me in," Alex pointed out. "He didn't even know me, he violated that first absolute, for you." Alex shook her head. "Remember he asked you if this would please you, he didn't ask me anything until you told him that you wanted me to be a part of your lifestyle." She watched the recognition wash through Elizabeth's eyes. 

"It was your choice to leave as well," Alex said firmly her eyes screaming at Elizabeth with anger. "Gavin's absolutes dictate that. You ended it. You wanted to get high, instead of being spoiled by a perfect man. You wanted the illusion of power." She shook her head as she regained her composure. 

"Happy New Year," Alex said sorrowfully. "I hope it gives you what you want!" 

Alex stormed away and blew past Kelly who tried to stop her, but she shrugged her off. 

*** 

Gavin looked around the room but couldn't see her. He saw Kelly and her two friends that Alex had gone over to, but he didn't see her. He continued to debate with the men in his group keeping an eye out for her. He assumed she had gone to the restroom, or perhaps Madelyn had kidnapped her for one reason or another. 

A few minutes passed and he saw Madelyn, but she was not with Alex. He finally began to get concerned they may have been a problem at home and Alex was on the phone. He decided after twenty minutes it had been long enough. His concern meter was on overload. 

The three subs bowed their heads as he approached. 

"Miss Kelly," Gavin said drawing her eyes to him by tilting her head up with a finger under her chin. 

"Yes Sir?" 

"Have you seen Alex lately?" he asked her. "The last I saw her she was over here with you three ladies." 

"No," Kelly frowned. "Not since she talked to Beth." 

Gavin looked over at his former sub, she was looking at him, but tilted her head down when he looked over at her. 

"She seemed angry after the conversation," Kelly admitted. Gavin took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

"Ok," Gavin nodded. "Thank you." He started to walk away then stopped and went back to her. 

"Kelly?" Gavin started. "I wanted to thank you for your advice to Alex, I don't know how much of the story you know, but I wanted you to know that I appreciate your guidance to her." 

"It was my honor," Kelly smiled. "At first I was worried that you were sending her out to learn something you could have told her yourself, but I guess you have your reasons." 

"I do," he nodded. "Sometimes knowledge worked for and attained is better remembered." He explained to her. 

"Yes Sir," Kelly smiled at him understanding fully now. "She is pleasing you then?" 

"She always has," Gavin told her. "The knowledge I wanted her to attain was for her own personal satisfaction, not mine. She was pleasing me before, she has always been pleasing. I just wanted her to find the pleasure I have." 

Gavin began to look around the house for Alex, going into the bustle of the kitchen had them all stopping to look at him. 

"Charles," Gavin called out when he saw him. "Have you seen Alex?" 

"No, Sir," Charles frowned. 

"She is on the back veranda," one maid called out to him. 

"Why is she on the veranda?" Charles barked suddenly. "A guest on the back veranda in this cold?" 

"Its fine," Gavin said to Charles, it seemed that Alex had endeared herself to more than just him. Then again, anyone who would meet Alex could be easily swayed by the beauty first, then the personality would overwhelm them. It was easy to like Alex. 

Alex stood looking up at the moon. The night air was bitter cold, her dress hardly a worthy adversary for the temperature, with its thin material and openness to showing her flesh. Gavin's jacket made it around her shoulders before his scent did.  

"This is how you wind up with pneumonia," Gavin said firmly. 

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered. "I needed some fresh air." 

"What's wrong?" he asked her moving along side of her. 

"Elizabeth," she frowned. 

"What about her?" 

"Did you see her?" Alex asked him sticking her arms through his sleeves. 

"I did," he said not looking at her but his twisted frown told her he didn't approve of her appearance. 

"She doesn't look like herself anymore," Alex pointed out. 

"Addiction does that," Gavin said, the temperature in his voice rising with his anger. 

"Addiction?" 

"All too familiar for me," Gavin said. "The drastic appearance changes, the weight loss, the hygiene, all signs of her addiction. She will now, no doubt, be suffering from drastic mood swings, then she will start disappearing...," Gavin clamped his mouth shut and shook his head. 

"I'm sorry," Alex said rubbing his back. 

"There is a reason they call drugs a controlled substance," Gavin told her with a shrug, trying to lose the anger and the bad memories as they flooded his mind. "People don't realize it has a double meaning. Yes it's monitored, but the darker side knows that the substance controls you." 

"Elizabeth will lose herself, little by little, her appearance is the first thing. Drastic weight loss, then she will stop taking care of herself like she used to. Showers, eating, sleeping, all will take a back seat to her new Dom and it's not Royce." 

"She will start lying, from the simple things she forgot, to more complex lies as she tries to cover for herself. She will begin to disappear for long periods of time as she won't wait to get home to do her drugs, she will need it so bad she will do it wherever she finds them." 

Gavin walked down the memories of his life with Carla, she did every one of the things, and he found during her treatments, that those who loved them suffered as he suffered. The lies and the struggles. 

"One day she will wake up and she won't ever recognize herself, but by then it will be too late, there will be no coming back," Gavin said softly. "Did you know that heroin addicts relapse between eight and ten times before they get clean. If they ever do that is." 

"About half of those who get help, go back within the first two years," Gavin continued. "The really bad number? Only about a third of those who stay sober for a year, will maintain their sobriety. Once you are an addict, you are always one step from being and addict again. It's a constant fight, one you never really win. You fight every day, if you make it to old age and die of natural causes, then you've won. I've not met an addict yet that has found that type of victory." 

"I'm so sorry," Alex whispered. 

"It's not your fault, you are concerned about her," Gavin told her with a soft hand to her face. 

"And you're not?" Alex asked him. 

"No," he frowned, he was concerned Alex may be hurt that he wasn't more concerned. "I refuse to go down that road with her. I can't...I just can't. Look how long it took for me to recover from Carla...it took years! And you." 

"Did I push her out?" Alex asked him, turning to look at him. 

"Elizabeth chose to leave," Gavin said firmly. "You had nothing to do with it." 

"She thinks I pushed her out, because you liked me more than her," she informed him. 

"I do like you more than her," Gavin shrugged. "But her choices were to stay with us, or drugs. She chose drugs." 

"That's not much help for my conscious," Alex pointed out. "If the drugs weren't an issue, would I have pushed her out?" 

Gavin said nothing for the longest of time and it unsettled her. She said nothing as she watched him think. 

"If she wasn't looking for an out to begin with?" Gavin asked her. 

"What do you mean?" Alex came back. 

"Keep in mind, I knew she was looking for a way out. She was looking for the opportunity to make her way from being my sub. I had done all I could do for her, she wanted more," Gavin said with a shrug. 

"I know now, that the relationship we had wasn't the only thing she wanted more of," Gavin said leaning on the railing. "Seeing her now, well it confirms that it wasn't me that was the problem." 

"How could you ever be the problem?" Ales asked him with a gasp. 

"Again, this relationship is about pushing boundaries," Gavin said over his shoulder. "I thought I had pushed her as far as I could with the sexual sessions, she wanted more pain, more than I was willing to inflict. When she started to become unhappy I thought it was me, so I knew it was a matter of time until she decided to move on." 

"Then the night of your art show, I found out it wasn't me. She wanted the drugs," Gavin frowned. 

"What do you mean?" Alex asked him. 

"That night, she told you she had hurt her foot, remember?" He asked her. She nodded. 

"She hadn't hurt her foot, she had an infected injection site in between her toes," Gavin said softly. 

"She had an injection site in between her toes?" 

"Very common for those trying to hide the fact they are using," Gavin nodded. "A puncture mark in the arm is easily noticeable. So they go to injecting in between their toes, the only problem with that... feet are dirty, so it's easy to get infected." 

"The injection site was infected, she needed a strong antibiotic to heal it," Gavin finished. 

"At first I thought it was because I had pushed her as far as I could with our sessions," Gavin sighed deeply. "But that was only part of it." 

"You're confusing me," Alex admitted. 

"There are those that are into the pain," Gavin frowned. "I'm not into it, I know there are some things I am willing to do, and there are a lot of things I'm not willing to do. Causing a great deal of pain isn't something I'm overly interested in." 

"Hence the reason you became a doctor," Alex pointed out. 

"That's part of it I'm sure," Gavin nodded. "Elizabeth wanted rougher sex, she wanted more pain. It got to the point she only wanted the pain. That happens from time to time. Elizabeth was into the Masochism part of our lifestyle, while I have sadistic tendencies, they have a purpose. She even started arguments just so I would punish her. I had to change the way I punished her just because I knew she was doing it to please herself." 

"I don't inflict pain because I enjoy it, I abhor it. I'm not sadistic by nature, I do some things, like mark you. Some may take as sadism, but I don't look at it that way. I know that some pain brings higher sexual gratification which I know sounds conflicting, but it's the fine line I walk." 

"So she wanted you to be more sadistic?" Alex asked him. He nodded with a grimace. 

"Something I couldn't do for her," Gavin said with a shrug. "I have my limits, everybody does, which is why there is some turn over in our lifestyle. Some reach their limits before their partner, then that becomes a problem. They separate and move on to someone else. Royce, as you have witnessed, has no problem in sadism, he's reckless with it. But being more sadistic isn't a bad thing if you have the right sub." 

"I'm guessing, Elizabeth is the right sub for him, he is more advanced than she is, in terms of pain, and if he was a half decent Dom he would bring her along slowly until she reached her full potential. To know him like I do...well I hope she is a quick adapter," Gavin frowned. 

"Ok," Alex nodded. "So if she wasn't going to be moving on, if you didn't know that. Would I have pushed her out?" 

"No," he said firmly. "I would have never given you the opportunity to do so." 

"What?" Alex asked tugging on his arm. 

"My absolute would have won out," Gavin told her. "I wouldn't have brought you on, I don't share myself with others any more than I would share my sub with others." 

"So I did push her out?" Alex asked. 

"Absolutely not!" Gavin growled. "She wanted out, she brought you into this. I didn't bring you into this. Elizabeth did. She was looking for an out, you presented her with that opportunity. Now, did we take advantage of the situation? Of course we did, did either of us expect it to lead us where we are now?" He shrugged as he pulled her into his arms. 

"She is on the outside because she did everything in her power to be on the outside," Gavin assured her. "She wanted the drugs, she wanted Royce. She wanted the illusion of power. Well she got what she wanted, now if she is regretting it, that isn't my fault. It most certainly isn't your fault. It is hers, and only hers." 

"I guess you're right," Alex said snuggling into his chest. 

"You guess?" Gavin teased. 

"Alright," she smiled. "You are right." 

Alex felt his hands move up and down her bare back. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 28



"Any chance I can get you to come back inside?" he asked her. 

"Yes," she smiled. "But only if I can stay with you." 

"Always," he smiled. 

Going back inside, he took her near the fire so she could be warm. Leaving his jacket on her until she was warm. She then gave it back to him. 

As the night wore on closer to midnight, Alex would talk to Kelly and the girls as they came over. Gavin with the guys but they were never more than a few feet from each other. She liked that. 

At the stroke of midnight, they were side by side, counting down with the crowd. The anger from earlier long gone. As the confetti flew in the air and the balloons rained down Gavin took hold of Alex's face and smiled at her. 

"Happy New Year," he whispered as he lowered his lips to hers. 

Kissing her deeply made her knees weak. This wasn't a quick kiss she had gotten from other boyfriends at this time of year. This was a deep kiss of passion, it took several seconds and made her tingle from her toes up. 

"Happy New Year," she whispered back after his lips pulled off hers. 

As the New Year song of 'Auld Lang Syne' was sung in the room, Gavin and Alex shook hands and hugged those around them. Madelyn kissed her like a mother would, and thanked her for coming into their lives which made her heart skip a beat. 

Kelly hooked her arm around her and they sang together. As they sang she looked around the room, Elizabeth stood alone, her leash on her as Royce shook hands with those around them. It was almost as if she was being shunned. 

Unlike Alex, no one had put their arm around her. None were kissing her in celebration. She looked over on Alex with a frown of disappointment. Alex felt sorry for her, but Gavin was right. This was her choice, she chose to leave this impossibly fantastic man. Alex benefitted, and she was going to revel in it. 

Shortly after the song ended, Royce gave her leash a tug and she followed him out of the room. Alex looked to Gavin to see if he had noticed. He frowned in opinion of it, she knew he would not approve and that comforted her. She looked to Kelly who shrugged. 

"Her mistake," Kelly smiled as she kissed her cheek. "Why she stays is what baffles me!" 

Alex knew why. She thought Royce was going to the White House. She was going to be First Lady. She didn't appear to be first of anything as she was leaving. She seemed more like the first dog. She wondered how being an addict would affect her dream of power. 

*** 

Walking into the bedroom, she stood at the foot of the bed and kissed him while pushing his coat off of him. She tugged the bow tie next and it unfurled easily. She slowly undid the buttons on his shirt, anytime new skin was made available she attacked it with her lips, his neck became a target as she pushed the shirt off of him. 

His t-shirt was next, pulling it over his head. Now is muscular chest was available and she began to nibble on him. His shoulder, then his chest down to his stomach as she dropped to her knees. 

Pulling on his belt he watched her as she looked up at him, she looked seductive there. Kneeling, the hunger in her eyes evident. Pulling his pants down Alex took him into her mouth before his pants were all the way off. He shook his head at her aggressiveness, she abandoned undressing him as she found what she wanted. He managed to kick the rest of his pants off while she sucked him. 

She stood up and kissed him deeply, her tongue finding the inside of his mouth and probing. He laughed internally at her aggressiveness. He liked it. He wondered just how far she was going to try to go with it. He loved her, he wanted to please her, but his role had limits. 

He undid the clasp on her dress and it fell easily to the floor. With the length of the dress and the open front and back, there was no need for underwear. So now the only thing she wore were her earrings, her bracelet which she refused to take off for any occasion, and her new collar. 

He walked her to her side of the bed, with her taking backward steps as he kissed her. Gently pushing her to the bed he covered her body with his as they made love with their mouths. Each showing the other how desperately they wanted one another. She rolled him over to his back hand held his hands above his head. He smiled as she nipped at his lips. 

"If I may Sir?" she whispered. "I feel like being aggressive!" 

"Trying to Switch on me?" he smiled. 

"If you let me," she smiled back. 

"No," he said softly. "I'm not a sub." 

"Ok," she said with a broad smile, hiding her disappointment. "Can I be on top?" 

"That sounds like fun," Gavin told her as he kissed her lips. 

She kissed him hard, their teeth scraping in their passion. She left him as she moved up his body. Soon she was looking down at him as she straddled his head with her knees. He smiled as he lifted his head and began to kiss and suckled her sex as she hovered over him. 

She continued to hold his hands above his head as she intertwined her fingers into his, her hips grinding on his lips as his tongue went into her depths. She lowered herself to ride his face and tongue harder. Soon she was grinding on his face to the point she could feel his nose brush against her clit which caused her to jerk in excitement. 

Her orgasm building had her rocking her hips faster, trying to satisfy herself on his face. He let her grind, more or less, just holding his tongue out so she could ride it. Losing himself in her beauty as she fucked his face with her sex. 

Her eyes were closed, as she bit her lip in pleasure. Her soft 'yips' coming back pleased him. It meant she wasn't concerned with anything but her pleasure. When her body began to stiffen up due to her orgasm, he attacked her ferociously with his mouth, suckling and driving his tongue into her depths causing her stomach to show its tight muscles as she held herself in her frozen orgasmic bliss. 

It washed from her, and it wasn't until he felt the wetness on his chin and down the side of his cheek did she begin to move again. She slid down his body, her mouth capturing his lips once again. Tasting herself on them. 

She reached between them and took hold of his cock, guiding him into her she gasped as she found his length deep within her. She began to grind on him, her sex stuck to his groin. Not lifting off, but sliding her body on his cock, still managing to get him to massage her from the inside with his shaft. 

She let go of his hands and held his hair as she kissed his lips while she rode him. He brought his hands into play, running his manicured nails down her back causing her relish in the sharpness she felt. He drug them until he reached the globes of her perfect ass. One hand to a cheek and the size of his hand covered most of her small ass. He was able to let his fingers pull them apart and then guide his finger to her anus. 

She bit his lip as his middle finger invaded her. He left his finger there, then began to lift and use her hips to help her drive off of him. Her moans began to fill his ear as she dropped her head to the side of his. She began to tongue his ear and bite the lobe with excitement as another orgasm washed from her. 

When it subsided she pushed off of his chest, leaving her hands on him as she dug her nails into him. She continued to set the pace with him. Her head back as her throat was pulled tight from its positioning. 

He watched her, her nipples hard in the low light of the bedside lamp. Her cheeks flushed with her hot temperature from her orgasm. The smell of their sex wrapping their bodies with their excitement. 

She pulled his hands from her ass and put them on her breasts as she rode him, his hands began to squeeze her tightly. Leaving white imprints of his fingertips in her excited red flesh. 

"Fuck yes," she finally gasped. "God I love your cock!" She gasped as she looked down at him from her perch on him. 

Her auburn hair which was so neatly done up, now cascading around her face as her passion began to untangle her. Her hair first, then her muscles as her orgasm ripped through her body. Then her eyes began to hunger, to desire him more and more and she began to use his body more and more, for her own satisfaction. 

She ran her hand up from digging into his chest, up to his mouth and put her fingers in and let him suck on them. She then moved from there to his hair and pulled his head up by the fistful. 

He sat up and took her arms and held them behind her back as he pulled her tight to him as she continued to ride him from the sitting position. He let go of her hands and pulled her body to him as he sucked on one nipple, before attacking the other. She pulled on his hair, pulling him tightly to her bosom. 

"Mark me, Sir," she whispered in her heat. "Show me what a good girl I have been!" 

He wasted no time pulling her soft flesh into his mouth causing her to gasp as he marked her, just to the inside of her breast, right where it connected to the breast bone. He took his time marking her. Suckling and biting her flesh as she rode him. 

She struggled to maintain her breathing as her cum flushed from her, dripping down his balls to gather in the folds of the sheets. Her hands gripping his muscular body tightly as she ground away at him as her gasps of pleasure filled the room. 

When he finally released her flesh from his mouth she let her eyes flutter open but now there was an irrepressible hunger in them. She pushed him back to the bed so she could have his cock fully in her depths again. 

She began to ride him, hard, like she was in the closing lengths of the Kentucky Derby. Her hands clutching the sheets on either side of his head. Her mouth on the base of his neck as she kissed there. 

"Cum for me Sir," she begged into his hot skin. "I want your cum in me!" 

Over and over she begged for him to fill her with his seed. It was the only thing she knew that would cool her passions. The feel of his cock deep within her bucking tightly within her recesses, coating her. He gripped her back tightly as she rode him hard, her moans of erotic ecstasy filling the room. Becoming louder and louder the harder she rode him. 

He felt her teeth into his neck just as his cock began to erupt in her. 

"Fuck!" he growled as he filled her with his cum 

"Yes!" she hissed as she bit him. "I can feel you!" 

She continued to ride him until his orgasm finished before collapsing on top of him, her breath heaving as she came down from her zenith. 

*** 

He was standing at the mirror the next morning when he noticed it. He tilted his head and looked at it. A small purplish mark on the base of his neck where it met his shoulder. He touched it with his fingers and smiled. 

"I guess I got my own marks last night," he shook his head. "Well, at least it's where I can cover it!" 

Walking out into the kitchen he found Livy already there with coffee. 

"Started the water already, when I heard your shower going," she pointed out. "Did you get any sleep?" 

"What do you mean?" Gavin asked her pouring hot water into his travel mug. 

"Well, Nora and I went to sleep about two, you two weren't home until after that, now it's just after six," she pointed out. He let out a soft exhale that she wasn't referring to their lovemaking. 

"Well," he shrugged. "It appears somebody had too good a time last night!" He laughed referring to his early morning phone call for medical assistance. 

"I guess," Livy shrugged. "When are you going to sleep?" 

"Now you sound like Alex!" Gavin chuckled. 

"Well, she is right to worry about you," Livy defended. 

He reached into his suit jacket and pulled his wallet out. 

"Ok," he said firmly. "You staying here isn't free, it has a cost." Livy looked up at him. He handed her business card. "No arguing with me like your sister does," he told her firmly. "That is the cost." 

"What is this?" she asked him. 

"That is the business card of the best divorce attorney in Chicago," Gavin told her taking her hand. "When you are ready to discuss all the details, he will answer some of the legal questions. He will also put you in touch with the best attorney practicing in your area." 

"Gavin I can't afford something like that," Livy said with a shake of her head. 

"You let Alex and I worry about cost," Gavin said firmly. She started to object. "Look, if you want to argue with someone, try Alex, she likes arguments. I do not. So if you can win her over to your way of thinking then I will be more receptive."  

"There is no way I can win her over if you are both on the same page with this!" Livy growled. 

"I know," he smiled. "Look, this guy is just going to answer some of your immediate legal questions, he is an old friend and he is not charging me for it. He is doing it as a favor to me." 

"So it's free?" she asked doubtfully. 

"Yes," Gavin shook his head. "He will be, the other attorney Alex and I will take care of as well, that person won't be, but this guy...like I said he owes me a favor so he will answer your legal questions. Write them down, and when you are ready, make an appointment with him. Okay?" 

She nodded. What else could she do? She couldn't go against him in his own home. And going against Alex in any argument was a lost cause. She was hoping she could enlist Gavin's help to get her to back off when the argument came of Alex's financial help she had insisted on helping her with. Now it seemed like Alex and Gavin were of the same mind.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 29



Chapter 32 

Gavin met her at the door with his lips, she dropped her bag and kissed him back with a smile. Her hands wrapping around him, then begrudgingly she pulled them back. This whole not touching him thing was killing her. She wanted to touch him all the time. But now with her sister back home in Pennsylvania, she was back in her BDSM world and that meant she couldn't touch him. Only out in the vanilla world could she hold his hand, or run her fingers through his hair. 

"Missed me, did you?" she smiled when he broke his welcome home kiss. 

"Maybe," he grinned. 

"That felt like a little more than a maybe," she pointed out kissing his neck. 

"How could I not miss you?" he asked her picking up her bag and walking with her back to the bedroom. 

As she laid in his arms after their lovemaking as she listened to his heartbeat. It was a solid thump, thump, thump. It was hypnotic, and very comforting. It was as if his heart was beating for her and her alone. She loved that thought, it brought her a peace she had never known. 

"Hey," she said picking her head up and looking at him. "In case I forgot, thank you for letting me bring Livy and Nora here." 

"You did not forget," he smiled at her. "That is like the tenth time you have thanked me." 

She slid up and began to stroke his face gently. 

"What are you thinking?" he asked her. 

"Just how perfect you are," she smiled. She put a finger over his lips as he was about to say something. "Just hush." She said lowering her lips to his knowing he was about to crack some joke about how just imperfect he was. Alex wished he could see himself through her eyes. 

The phone ringing on the nightstand had her pulling her lips off begrudgingly. She cast an angry scowl at it. 

"I'm sorry," Gavin said as he reached over to it. 

"This whole sharing you thing has got to stop!" Alex teased. 

She smiled like she was teasing to him and he winked at her. Deep inside, she wasn't kidding. She wanted some time away with him. Time that didn't include patients. That didn't include her family. That didn't include anything but each other. 

She wanted time where getting dressed wasn't an option. Where the clock didn't matter, where time didn't matter. She wanted to just be. To just be with him. To be his only desire. To be his only thought. To be his only quest. 

As he talked on the phone she slid from bed, he was leaving so there was no use to staying in bed anymore. So much for the idea of staying in bed the rest of the day and making love to one another. 

He joined her in the shower as she washed their sex from her. His hands rubbing soap on her body had her sighing in blissful breaths. If he had to leave her, this was an excellent apology. She turned once he was done with her and she began to wash him. She could see his eyes protest only momentarily, but her eyes squashed any comment from him. 

"We may need to re-evaluate this relationship," he told her firmly causing a sudden panic to wash over her. His winking had her heart back to beating as it had seized in her chest. 

"I can't bathe you?" she asked him as she figured out what he was referring to. 

"I'm supposed to bathe you," he pointed out. 

"So I can't have the pleasure of bathing you?" she asked him again. 

"Well...," 

"Look," she said firmly. "You said we needed to set up our own ground rules, correct?" 

"Correct," he nodded with a smirk, here comes that damn Switch she says she isn't concerned about, he laughed to himself. 

"I'm supposed to be going with the mantra, if it feels good, do it! Right?" she smiled. 

"You can't use my words against me," he laughed defensively. 

"Oh yes I can," she laughed as his eyes fluttered closed as she took hold his cock in her soapy hands and began to stroke it. 

"You, are not playing fair," he grinned as his cock began to twitch in her hands. 

"You're right," she smiled watching the pleasure on his face. "I play to win." He laughed as he tilted his head down and looked at her. 

"I see disappointment in your eyes," he pointed out bringing his hand to her face softly. 

"I wanted you all to myself tonight," she whispered. "I wanted to lay in bed with you, naked and let you use me all night. No little beautiful girls tapping at the door. No patients that needed your attention. Just us." He nodded and stroked her hair, before kissing her forehead in the steam of the shower. 

"Starting to have second thoughts?" Gavin asked her. 

"No," she said firmly. "I just need to figure out a way to maximize my time with you when I have you alone." He tilted her chin up and kissed her lips. 

"I love you," he said firmly staring into her eyes. "I'll make it up to you somehow." 

"There is nothing to make up," she smiled. "This is who you are, you are a doctor. I knew that coming in, just like you, as you have taken me, fiery tempest and all. I have to take who you are as a whole. Go, your patient is waiting." She gave him a soft push on his chest, to motivate his feet to move. 

He frowned as the disappointment filled the shower like the steam. 

"Fuck," he growled stepping out of the shower. 

"What?" 

"I hate my job right now," he growled as he left the bathroom. 

She looked to the drain of the shower and watched the water swirl. She would have to control her disappointment around him. He loved being a doctor she didn't want him to regret anything he was doing. How to control it or mask it was a different story altogether, as she didn't know if she could. 

*** 

"No," Alex argued with her hand on her forehead, as she was with the lady at the counter later that afternoon. "That's not possible, I wasn't even in town last week!" Alex implored. 

"I understand Miss," the bank teller argued. "But it says right here, the money was deposited into your savings account. So the figures are accurate." 

Alex looked to her bank statement. She had decided to balance her checkbook while Gavin was gone, the number in checking was correct, but it was the savings that was off. Way off! 

"I just don't want somebody to be out thousands of dollars, you know?" Alex defended why she was arguing a possible bank mistake in her favor. "I mean, if an account number was put in wrong and somebody was missing it, I want to make sure it gets back to them!" 

"I understand," the teller agreed sympathetically. "Let me get my manager, maybe she will know if someone is missing the money, and if it is indeed, a bank error." Alex nodded as she looked over her statement. 

Her savings account grew nearly five thousand dollars over the past two weeks. She hadn't made any deposits since her last school paycheck and even then it wasn't put into savings. She just knew that somewhere down the line a number got transposed, and someone was missing five thousand dollars from their account. 

The manager came over with the teller and looked at the computer. 

"I'm sorry Ms. Lasko," the manager shrugged. "No one is claiming any missed money, and I'm sure I would have heard about it by now if somebody was missing that type of money." 

"I'm sure!" Alex laughed disappointedly. "But I know I haven't put in that type of deposit since I sold my art and that was months ago!" 

"Go down to bookkeeping," the manager told the teller. "Have them pull the hard copy of the deposit slip." 

"Yes ma'am," the teller said before disappearing. The manager turned back to Alex, "We will see if the teller who took the transaction is working and if they remember it. Each transaction has the teller's initials, so if they are working we can backtrack from there. Odds are slim, but we will see." 

Alex waited off to the side while the bank went back to helping others. She chewed on her nail, caught herself and then stopped by putting her hands under her thighs. It seemed like hours went by as she sat there, but in reality she knew it was probably only a few minutes. 

The manager waved her over and now she stood with a young blonde who looked nervous. 

"Ms. Lasko," the manager smiled. "This is Jeannie, she was the teller who took the money." The young blonde looked apologetically at her and nodded. 

"I'm sorry," she shrugged. "He seemed like a nice guy, he said he was your boyfriend...he wasn't wanting money out, he was wanting to put money in. I didn't think putting money in was going to be a problem. He doesn't have his name on your account or anything...but like I said, he just wanted to put money in, he brought a cashier's check from another bank. It all seemed legit." 

"My boyfriend?" Alex growled, her eyes snapping shut to keep the raging fire from shooting out of them like some science fiction monster. The picture becoming clearer. Jeannie nodded. Alex pulled up a picture of her and Gavin on her phone. 

"This him?" She showed the picture to the teller who smiled admirably at the man that graced her phone. 

"Oh yeah," she nodded emphatically. "I remember thinking, please God let me find a boyfriend, who is that hot, and who would put money into my account instead of draining it!" 

Alex growled and shook her head. 

"I'm going to kill him," Alex said angrily to the two ladies. "Call the cops, have them come to my address, I fucking going to kill him!" 

"Is there a problem?" the manager asked carefully. She hoped the young lady was joking and not seriously making a threat. 

"I told that son of a bitch he couldn't pay me back," Alex said with a stomp of her foot. 

"Most guys I know wouldn't, did he owe you money?" Jeannie asked her. 

"No, I bought him this perfect Christmas gift, it was expensive and he promised not to take it back!" Alex fumed turning to look at the picture on her phone. It was of her and Gavin at dinner before they went to see the musical Wicked. 

"I'm sorry," the manager said sympathetically, seeing it was upsetting Alex. "My suggestion if it bothers you is, rebuy it and give it to him." 

"No, he didn't take it back, which is why he just paid the money back that I spent, which is the same god damn thing!" Alex raged. She looked to the two ladies and could tell they had no idea what to say or do. 

"I'm sorry," Alex told them forcing a smile. "He is quite remarkable, this man of mine, but right now...," she let her angered voice trail off. 

"We will try and forget you were in here when the police come," the manager laughed. "Making threats and all!" Alex laughed with her. 

"I don't care how hot he is, he is taking that money back! And not his sexy ass or his hypnotic brown eyes or the fact I love him more than life itself is going to keep him from the temper tantrum I'm about to throw down!" Alex said with a shake of her head. 

*** 

Alex stormed into the condo and saw his medical bag, she knew he was home and went straight to his office as the light was on. Disregarding her stance that the office was his man cave and she wouldn't enter, she stormed in and tossed her bank statement at him. 

He caught it with a furrowed brow at her entrance and her body language. Without looking at it, he stared at her. His jaw setting had her swallowing hard. His face screamed she went too far. 

"First off," he said firmly. "Take it down a notch." 

His eyes were firm and his body language tight. He leaned back in his chair and stared at her. Unbending to her demeanor, or her angry eyes. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly with closed eyes. 

"Better," he said. 

He then looked to the paper she had thrown at him. He sighed and frowned as he put it on his desk neatly. He had fully expected this little tornado, but he had to make sure that he didn't laugh or smirk. That would take this little tornado into an F5. 

"Explain," she demanded. He cocked an eyebrow at her demand. 

"No," he said firmly. "I don't have to. Take caution in your tone. I love you, but this is not up for debate." 

"You waited until my sister left before putting that money back into my account," she told him. 

"I did," he agreed with a nod. 

"So we wouldn't fight in front of her?" Alex asked. 

"Why not, the tactic worked for you," he said folding his hands in front of his face to hide the smile that was dying to get out. He knew that would only send her off the deep end and he would be forced to discipline her. 

Right now she was balancing on a razors edge. He was admiring the fact she was trying so hard. If this had happened three months ago, this would be so much worse...for both of them. 

"What?" She gasped, trying her best to swallow her anger. 

"Did you not, hold back the gift until I was in front of your family, so that I could not let my true emotion out?" he pointed out. She hung her head. "At least I didn't do it in front of your family." 

"You said you loved it!" Alex said softly, her voice cracking, her lip trembling. 

"I do," he said with a nod. "But you should have been saving that money for a car, not for some expensive box." 

"That was my Christmas gift to you," she pointed out firmly. "Now you have belittled it!" 

"I have not!" he defended with a gasp at the accusation. 

"You have," she said with her voice quaking. "You have taken something I had taken great pride it, and ruined it." 

"That was not my intention," he said with a frown. He hadn't thought of it that way. 

"I don't give a damn what your intention was!" Alex said her voice becoming tight with anger she was trying to not let come out. 

"I'm sorry," Gavin told her leaning forward. She stared at him for several seconds before her anger got the upper hand. 

"Let's get one thing perfectly clear," Alex said her voice erupting with her anger as she could no longer suppress it. "You can tell me what clothes I can wear. You can tell me how I can address you, and you can tell me how to fuck." She put her hands on his desk and leaned towards him. 

"But if you want to control how I spend my money, you had better put a ring on my fucking finger and call me your wife!" Alex stormed from his office and went to the bedroom and slammed the door. 

Gavin leaned forward and put his elbows up on his desk to prop his face up as he rubbed it. 

"God," he whispered aloud to himself. "This whole real relationship thing is a pain in the ass! Should've just stayed with the Dom thing! But nooo! You had to go complicate things by falling in love with that walking, talking piece of absolute perfection!" 

Gavin gave her a few minutes to cool off before he went after her. He stifled the laugh upon entering the bedroom carefully as she was lying face down in the bed. When he walked in she held up the crop without turning over. He gently took it from her fingers with a smile she did not see. 

"Well," he sighed. "Given the circumstances, I guess that was about as respectful as you could have been." She let out a short laugh into the pillow. 

"Look at me," he said softly, she shook her head. "Please?" She turned over and her eyes told him all he needed to know and it crushed him. 

"I'm sorry," he said to her. "I'm not used to this." 

"Used to what?" she asked. 

"Being in a relationship, a meaningful relationship," he said running his thumb over her cheek. "I don't know how to act, what to do, what to say. I'm so used to just doing what I want." She nodded. 

"So will you take the money back?" she asked him. She frowned when he looked to the ceiling. That meant no! 

"Look," he smiled at her. "I'm just as stubborn as you! But I have a solution, one in which everybody wins." She nodded. He handed her a business card. 

"That is my financial advisor," he told her. "Take the five thousand and open up some sort of money market account or IRA or something for your nieces and nephews." 

"What?" 

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I never meant to take away the joy you received from giving me that absolutely magnificent gift! I've done that now, and I can't fix it. But maybe, if you take the money and give it to your nieces and nephews, you can get a similar feeling knowing that with the right type of investments, and what not, they could wind up with something just as magnificent down the road!" She smiled as she looked to the card. 

"Furthermore," he continued. "I promise to never tell you how or where you can spend your money, until your name is Mrs. Alexandria Steward." 

"You owe me one," she said looking up at him her soft smile coming out and he was thankful for it. 

"I know," he nodded. "What shall I do?" 

"I'll think on it," she said looking at the card. 

Chapter 33 

Livy put one foot in front of the other. Her eyes down on the concrete sidewalk. Living in Averin was lonely. Especially now that Nora was back into school. She just had nothing to do all day. She would have to get a job sooner or later, but Alex had told her to take her time. Get her head right first. Which was good advice, as she was still having problems keeping it together. There were some days that she was glad Nora was back in school. She could then cry all day without the little girl knowing. 

Alex and Gavin had given her money, despite her major protest. Alex had told her it was just to get her through until she did find a job, this way she didn't need to go to the parents and that lecture that Alex had heard so many times she could recite it from memory. 

Gavin's lawyer had set her up an appointment with a woman from Pittsburg. After meeting with her she sounded like a shark! This lady didn't want her to get a job, she said she should think about going back to school. She would get Livy alimony because she was a stay at home wife. She could get education paid for first, then start her career, with her unfaithful husband footing the bill. 

She talked to Alex about teaching. Alex raved about it, her father said it wasn't for everybody as it was the hardest, most frustrating but most rewarding job he could ever imagine. He wouldn't change anything if he was given a do over. 

Then there was the way Gavin spoke so passionately about it. She stopped by the local community college to get some details. She felt excited about it. An excitement she hadn't felt in some time. A personal excitement. Excitement amount personal growth. 

She stopped and looked around. The snow was falling gently, she looked up and saw the white flakes wafting down in a soft wind that forced the flakes to swirl as they fell around her. 

The soft musical gongs of a church bell drew her eyes across the street. A man leaving the Catholic Church there drew her attention. He was pulling his gloves on as he descended the stairs. He waved at her as he saw her staring in his direction. She smiled and waved back as he climbed into his truck. 

The building was red brick, its steeple tall and white with a small clock on it. St. Mary's was on the front with a sign that said; There are some questions that can't be answered by Google. But we have the answers here! She smiled at the humor in it. 

She made her way over, she didn't know why she was walking there. She wasn't Catholic. Now she wasn't even sure there was a God. All her prayers to him in the past didn't save her marriage. It didn't save her from the pain. But she felt her feet walking over and her hand pulling on the door. It was big and wooden but opened easily. 

The room opened into a cozy warm chapel. Rows of pews had her walking down the center. It was the stained glass that surrounded the chapel that had her enamored. She found a pew and sat, pulling her gloves off she set them down and unbuttoned her coat as she looked at the various scenes of the Bible in stained glass that wrapped around. 

She closed her eyes and prayed. The quiet of the church had her softly crying in her prayer. There was just too much pain in her life right now. She wanted it to go away, she prayed for it to go away. Maybe He would listen to her pleas today. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 29



"Good morning," the soft male voice had her snapping her eyes open. She had a slight panic, maybe she wasn't supposed to be in here. It wasn't Sunday, and she wasn't Catholic. Being a small town she was sure the people that did go to church here would know that she wasn't a member of the congregation. 

"Good morning," she said as he smiled down pleasantly at her. His black coat and white collar told her who he was. "I'm sorry, I was walking...I just...I don't know if you are even open!" 

"We are always open," he smiled. He sat in the pew just in front of her and turned to face her over his shoulder. 

"My name is Father Jackson Wells," he said extending his hand. 

"Livy," she smiled taking his warm hand. "Livy Codeen." 

"Well Livy," the priest smiled her. "Have you come for confession?" 

"No!" she blurted. "I mean I'm not Catholic!" He nodded never losing his friendly smile. 

"Should I leave?" she asked him with a panic in her voice. 

"I don't know...should you?" he asked her. 

"I'm not Catholic," she said again. "I'm not even sure I should be in here!" 

"So you said," he replied, his smile growing as he shook his head at the humor of the way she was distancing herself. "But this is God's house, He has invited you in, who am I to kick out a guest of our Lord?" 

"He invited me in?" Livy asked him. 

"Here you sit," he pointed out. "I'm assuming by you tears, you have a heavy heart, and He told you to come and sit a spell." Livy let a tear fall just because he noticed. "Would you like to talk?" 

"I'm not Catholic," Livy frowned, but she wanted to talk. 

She wanted to talk to someone who wasn't involved. Someone who wasn't looking out for her as Alex and Gavin were. Someone who wasn't looking out for themselves as her mother and sisters were. Someone who could just give her some straight talk. 

"So you keep saying," the priest smiled. "But I don't care, God doesn't care, nor should you." He sat patiently as she seemed to weigh the idea of talking. 

"I'm going through a rough patch," Livy admitted dropping her head embarrassedly. The priest nodded, his eyes were sympathetic. "My family goes to church in Orchard Falls, I used to go there as well." 

"Used to go?" the priest asked. 

"I've lost my faith, I guess, a little anyway," Livy whispered. "My mother is ultra-religious. We are talking like fire and brimstone." 

"How does she feel about you losing your faith?" 

"She has ridiculed me, ordered me to spend countless hours with our preacher, which was a complete waste of time...I can't continue to go to church there," Livy told him. 

"Why?" 

"My husband goes there," Livy frowned. 

"I take it, that is where the problem begins," the priest nodded. 

"I have to get a divorce," Livy whispered so softly the priest barely heard it. 

"Not the end of the world," he said taking her hand. "Have you seen a counselor?" She nodded. 

"After the first two times I caught him cheating," Livy nodded as the tears dropped from her eyes. 

"The first two times?" He asked carefully, she nodded at his question. 

"This time, he has gotten another woman pregnant," Livy said. "They both go to the church, how it the hell am I supposed to go to a church that has them both there? Does God expect to rub it into my face that I'm a complete failure?" She looked at him and realized she had swore in church. 

"I'm sorry for my language," she told him embarrassed for her outburst. 

"Trust me," he smiled. "This building has heard worse!" He said as he leaned into her confidingly and laughed which made her laugh. "I was walking in flip flops last summer, caught my toe on the pew in the back! Oh man, why He didn't strike me down is still a wonder!" 

Livy covered her mouth as she laughed. 

"Did you know, that your pinky toe has built in GPS?" He asked her with a smile. She looked at him confused. "Yes, it is programed to find the corner of every piece of furniture!" This caused Livy to burst into laughter. 

"I'm sorry...Father or...," she stumbled. 

"How about Jack?" he smiled when she stumbled with his name. She nodded. 

"Livy, my point is, we are all sinners, and God loves us...each and every one," he said firmly. 

"Then why won't He answer my prayers?" Livy asked point blank. 

"What makes you think He hasn't?" Jack asked her. She shook her head. "Livy, I can't explain why you are here, or why your husband decided to be a louse. I can't explain why He didn't answer your prayer the way you wanted Him to...but you have to trust that He will provide for you." 

"Provide for me?" Livy gasped. "I've lost my husband, the father of my child, my church, my mother and two of the three sisters! It sounds like all He is doing is taking!" The priest nodded at her outburst of pain. 

"And through all of that pain, you sit in His house," he pointed out. "It seems to me, He may be clearing your clutter." 

"My clutter?" 

"In your list, you never said you lost your faith, you said you were unsure, but it wasn't on your list of things lost," he smiled. "But it sounds like you had a lot of things in between you and God. Perhaps He is preparing you for something else." 

"Like what?" Livy asked him. 

"That is something that nobody knows," he frowned. "It sounds like your church has lost its way." 

"What?" 

"Well, you said your mother is ultra-religious?" he asked, she nodded. "Your husband has laid with another woman from your church?" She nodded. 

"Now I'm guessing that your mother is forcing you do something your heart is telling you that you shouldn't?" he asked carefully. 

"She wants me to stay with him," Livy told him. He shook his head. "You are shaking your head? I thought divorce was a sin?" 

"You heart tells you what is a sin and what isn't," he said firmly. "Does the church condone divorce? Of course not! But is it a sin to divorce a man who obviously has sinned against you and God? He has sworn before God to forsake all others, to love you until death...he has failed." 

"So it isn't a sin to leave him?" Livy asked painfully. 

"What does your heart say?" 

"I don't know!" Livy cried. He put his hand on her shoulder as she leaned forward as the pain cramped in her stomach. "I feel so lost!" 

"Livy," he said softly. "You have done everything God has required of you." 

"What?" 

"Look, I'm not your normal priest, I'm supposed to tell you to bring him here, and then I'm supposed to try and get you to fix this...but this sounds like it's beyond fixing!" He admitted. "It sounds like the decision has been made...by Him." 

"Don is not sure he wants a divorce," Livy laughed wiping her tears. "He said it would look bad in the church." 

"Having cheated with multiple women and getting another member of the church pregnant isn't looking bad?" the priest gasped. The priest shook his head disappointedly. "No, the Him I was referring to was our Heavenly Father." 

"What? He wants me to get a divorce?" Livy said with a confused shake of her head. 

"It sounds like it," he stated. "Look, don't look to your church, look to your heart." 

"My mother says the church is God," Livy told him. 

"The church is only a building," the priest smiled. "It was built to bring people of a similar faith together to worship. It sounds like your faith is different than that of your church. If you have lost your faith, maybe it is not your faith in God you have lost, but the faith in your church." 

"How do you figure?" she asked him. 

"You sit here," he smiled. "Your faith in God has brought you here, even though you aren't Catholic." He teased and she smiled. 

"God hasn't lost his faith in you, He brought you here, now it is my job to show you that He loves you and He only wants what is best for you. That may include divorce. Even though you are a non-Catholic!" He said with a comforting laugh. She laughed with him. 

"Livy," he said standing up. "Do you know why there are so many religions?" She shook her head. 

"When we get to Heaven and we stand before our maker, if we don't go to a church, He is going to ask why. Now most will say they couldn't find one to believe in. He is going to look them square it the eye and tell them, 'I put one on every corner, with many different beliefs between them. If you couldn't find one, you weren't looking for me'. God doesn't want it to be difficult to find Him, you found Him. Just by opening the door," he pointed to the front door she walked through. "Wasn't that easy?" She nodded. 

"Livy, you love God, God loves you," the priest smiled. "Nothing else matters, it's that marriage that will last the test of time, it sounds like you are faithful to Him. So now He is clearing the clutter for you, because He does love you." 

He gave her a reassuring smile. She smiled back. 

"Our door are always open," he said moving away. "Come when He calls, I promise not to judge you, as long as you realize I'm a sinner too and not judge me!" 

"Deal," she smiled. 

"Oh," looked around. "Let's not let it out that I wear flip flops in church, please? I got some blue hairs here that would run to the Bishop and then the lectures would start!" 

"Your secret is safe with me," Livy assured him. Laughing at his reference to older women in the church. She felt better watching him leave. The pain was still there, but her heart felt lighter. Maybe he was right? 

*** 

Chapter 34 

"Good God look at you!" He exclaimed as he departed the walkway leading from the plane. 

"Dobro pozhalovat' nazad!" Alex said with a broad smile. Which meant, welcome back. 

"Vy smotrite vkusno!" he said taking the woman in his arms and hugging her firmly. "It means a lot to me that you are here!" 

"Well, according to Gavin, somebody needs to chaperone you!" Alex laughed as she hooked her arm into his and they began to walk to baggage claim. "Now, what did you just say? My Russian is limited to what Google tells me!" 

"Ah," he nodded with a smile. "I'm afraid I was being a little forward, so to keep you good impression of me, I will keep it to myself!" 

"That's not fair!" Alex complained. 

"I'm sorry beautiful," Pavy sympathized. "But I'm not telling! Ask your beloved Google!" 

"I wouldn't even know how to spell it!" she laughed. 

"He with one of his rich patients?" Pavy asked her changing the subject. She nodded at the distaste that dripped from the way he said 'rich patients'. "What a waste!" 

"You think so?" she asked him. 

"Oh my God! The good that man could do where I'm at! I'm not a surgeon like he is, I know he normally doesn't do surgery now with these rich stuck up bastards, but I have kids that have pieces of metal in their body from flying shrapnel! I would set him up and work his fingers to the bone!" Pavy said with a wishful shake of his head. 

"I didn't know he was a surgeon," Alex said with a furrowed brow. It was never brought up in the year they had been together that he was a surgeon. She just assumed he was a regular M.D. 

"He is wasting his talents with the uppity, snot nosed, rich folks and their gastritis and hemorrhoids!" Pavy seethed. 

"Wow," Alex smiled. "Tell me how you really feel!" 

Walking out to the Mercedes, he stopped. 

"What happened to the Rabbit?" he asked her remembering her old car that she took him to the airport in last year. 

"The Rabbit died!" she giggled with a wink and blush at the implication. "Gavin leased this overpriced magnificent car as he is well on his way to spoiling the living shit out of me!" 

"Good God! Gavin with a kid? That would be interesting! That would twist his perfect little life into a pretzel!" Pavy laughed as he tossed his bag in the trunk. "And spoiling you is the very least he could do!" 

"Wanna drive?" She asked holding out the key. 

"Don't have a license as you don't need one in Africa!" he laughed getting into the passenger side. 

"Oh, and by the way, I had my six year old niece with us for about a month not too long ago, and he was absolutely brilliant with her!" Alex said proudly as she backed out. 

"A six year old?" Pavy chuckled. "I figured she would eat him for lunch!" 

"I'm sure there were days where she was hounding him with one question right after another that he wished he could have gotten one of his rich clients to call him out!" Alex laughed. 

*** 

They were busy preparing dinner when Gavin walked into the kitchen. Pavy was teaching her Swahili, some basic phrases and greetings. 

"Trying to convince my girl to come to Africa with you?" Gavin asked. 

"I figure if I can convince her to come, you won't be far behind," Pavy smiled as he turned to him. "Call it a change in tactics!" 

They embraced warmly and held each other. 

"Missed you," Pavy said releasing him. 

"Ditto," Gavin smiled patting his cheek. He moved over to Alex and kissed her. Her body washed in goosebumps as he did. 

"Seeing how you guys are getting friendly with one another," Gavin said to Pavy as he undressed her yet again with his eyes. "Try and get her to tell you what she wants for her birthday. She keeps telling me she doesn't want anything!" 

"Fuck you," Pavy laughed. "If you don't get her something, it will be easier to steal her away from you!" 

"So it's like that huh?" Gavin laughed as he put up his fists. 

Pavy followed suit and soon the two grown medical men were acting like college frat boys. Wrestling and fighting in the kitchen. Alex laughed and ducked out of the way when the fisticuffs got close to her. 

As the scuffling got intense Gavin started to fade away from him. 

"Easy on the suit!" he warned. 

"Oh why yes, my lady!" Pavy agreed releasing him and fixing Gavin's tie. "I would hate to ruin one of your multi thousand dollar suits! Then you would only be down to what, 30 or 40 different suits?" 

"Fuck you," Gavin laughed. 

"Does Alex have any closet space at all or do you hog it all princess?" Pavy teased putting his arm around Alex. 

"She has a couple drawers she can use," Gavin joked. "And if you don't take you slimy hands off of her, suit or no suit, I'm kicking your ass!" 

Pavy raised an eyebrow at him then turned and began to kiss Alex's cheek, which caused Gavin to rush them and wrap his arms playfully around them both as he retaliated. 

Sitting around the table, Pavy was full on embarrassing Gavin with stories from their youth. The arrest was brought up, but the story had changed, Pavy was passing blame on Gavin not the other way around. 

Alex was in tears at the way they bashed one another, each coming up with one embarrassing story after another. Alex bending at the waist laughing, her stomach hurt from her laughter. 

"So, when is your birthday?" Pavy asked after the laughter had died down and he was pouring more wine for the three of them. 

"Day after tomorrow," Alex told him. 

"Damn," he frowned. "I won't be here for it!" 

"It's really not a big deal," she laughed. "It's just another day!" 

"So is Christmas," Pavy pointed out. "But we celebrate like it's the last one we will ever have!" 

"Ah-ha," Gavin pointed out. "Thank you!" He was pleased his friend was being useful, for a change! 

"You are comparing my birth with that of Christ?" Alex scoffed with a shake of her head. 

"Both are worth celebrating!" Pavy smiled clinking her glass with his. 

After moving their drinking to the living room they continued their laughter. It was another two hours before Alex began to tire, and the boys seemed to be just getting started. She got up and moved to where Gavin was sitting. 

"I'm off to bed," she told them. She put a lingering kiss on him. "Goodnight." 

"Goodnight," he smiled. 

Alex moved to Pavy and kissed his cheek. 

"Goodnight," she said with a smile. 

"Goodnight, beautiful," he grinned. "We will try and keep the noise down." 

"Much appreciated!" Alex laughed knowing that was going to be near impossible. As it seemed that with the more alcohol they drank, the louder they got. 

The men waited until she had closed the door to the bedroom before turning their conversation back to one another. 

"Absolutely stunning!" Pavy complimented. 

"She is," Gavin agreed. "Much too good for me!" 

"That goes without saying," Pavy teased toasting his glass. 

"Don't tell her," Gavin smiled. 

"And let the best thing that ever happened to you leave? Fuck no!" Pavy assured him. "So?" The Russian led on. 

"So?" Gavin grinned knowing what he wanted to know, but playing it off. 

"So have you popped the question?" Pavy asked with a shake of his head. 

"It's been almost a year, a little early to be thinking that!" Gavin laughed. 

"Why?" 

"What do you mean 'why'?" Gavin fired back. 

"Do you love her?" 

"Of course," Gavin smiled. 

"Then ask," Pavy pushed. 

"Now you sound like Madelyn!" Gavin complained. "She is talking kids and wedding at her place and elaborate shit like that!" 

"Well your little girl in there was teasing about dead Rabbits today!" Pavy joked. 

"What?" 

"Her old car? I asked her what happened to the Rabbit, and she said 'the Rabbit died'," Pavy said watching the demeanor change. 

"We aren't talking about the Rabbit," Gavin said coolly. "That is still a sore subject in this house!" 

"What happened?" Pavy had to know now, just by Gavin's reaction. 

"The love of my life was teaching on the Chicago south side," Gavin began slowly. 

"The south side?" Pavy gasped. "And you let her? Christ almighty! Next time just send her into the war zone with me!" 

"Look," Gavin said firmly. "You have no idea what it is like to fight with that fantastically, perfect woman in there! She is a fucking fireball!" 

"Continue," Pavy laughed. He loved the fact that Gavin was espousing his feelings for Alex so freely. Alex had done the impossible. She had saved Gavin from himself. 

"So, I try and buy a car for her, she refuses. I try and loan her money to buy a car, she refuses. She wants to do it all on her own!" Gavin complained with an angry wave of his hands which caused Pavy to shake his head. 

"Oh shit," Pavy laughed. 

"Then the fucking thing breaks down! On the coldest, worst day of the year!" Gavin raged, his voice rising with his anger. "My beautiful girl there, doesn't want to call me because I'm with a patient. So she walks...walks, on the south side, at night mind you," he said in a near yell. "To the metro rail. Then another four blocks from the metro to our apartment!" 

"Of course she was already refusing to admit she was ill! Now she goes off and gets pneumonia!" Gavin growled. Just then the bedroom door opened. 

"I thought we were going to keep the noise down?" Alex smiled trying to get them off the subject of her big mistake and near fatal relationship mishap. 

"You walked on the south side of Chicago?" Pavy growled at her. She swallowed hard as now she had two men angry about it and now she just wanted it all to go away. "I would bend you over my knee!" 

This caused Gavin to snort out a laugh in the middle of a drink from his glass causing it to bubble loudly. Alex blushed as she bit her lip and looked to the floor. Pavy looked from one to the other. 

"You kinky little shits!" Pavy guessed. 

"She was acting like a petulant child," Gavin defended. "I obliged her." 

"I had it coming," Alex admitted. "I'm going back to bed, Pavy, please don't get him all fired up before you send him to bed. There are a lot of things I needed a spanking for that he might feel the need to take up tonight!" 

With that she left he laughing men by closing the door. Her face flushed in heat at the memory of her spankings. 

Gavin came to bed a couple of hours later, the alcohol telling her he had let his hair down again with his friend. He snuggled up to her and she pulled his hands closer to her face and kissed them. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 29



"I love you," he whispered. 

"I love you," she said back. "Hey, do you speak any Russian?" 

"I have a Russian friend," Gavin pointed out. 

"But do you know any?" Alex asked looking over her shoulder at him. 

"Some, I had to start learning so I could understand his insults," Gavin slurred slightly. 

"What does Vy smotrite vkusno, mean?" she asked him. He furrowed his brow as he thought about it. 

"Um, something about being delicious," Gavin shrugged. This caused Alex to shake her head and giggle. 

*** 

Halfway through his sermon he saw her, in the back pew, in the corner. As far away from him, and the rest of the congregation as possible. He smiled and shook his head. He watched her, it was obvious she didn't have the first clue as what to do in the Mass. When others knelt she looked around first, then knelt. 

The prayers that were said by memory for most, she merely moved her lips, hitting some of the words, but missing most. By the end she looked totally lost, but during the sermon, she seemed entranced. 

He had changed from his original sermon and drifted to people who are Christian in appearance only. Who vocally spoke of their love for the Lord but in their life's deeds didn't prove it. He knew it would strike a chord with her, and her tears said it did. 

He could see her being pounded by his words. He loved it when the Lord used him for His purposes. The woman had filled his mind after he left her that day. She needed God more than ever and he hoped she would return. He didn't expect to see her for a Mass, more what she did before, come in during the weekday. 

Shaking hands with his parishioners at the end, she hung back. When she got to him he smiled broadly. 

"And see? The Church still stands!" he teased which had her blushing. "How was your first Catholic Mass?" 

"Interesting!" she admitted. "Your sermon was quite good!" 

"Thank you," he nodded. "It was adlibbed." 

"I don't understand," she told him with a confused brow. 

"Well," he frowned. "I spent the week working on a different sermon, the Lord had other plans. They say if you want to see God's smile, tell him your plans! He does that a lot with me, let me toil on one sermon only to make me preach another!" The priest said with a disbelieving shake of his head. He then shrugged. 

"He makes you change?" Livy asked him. 

"Absolutely!" The priest laughed. "I feel Him here," the priest said with a hand on his heart. "He speaks to it and then the message is given." The priest shrugged. "I think He does it because He likes to keep me out of trouble by making me prepare a sermon only to give one off the cuff!" 

"I'm sorry," Livy laughed. 

"Ah, it's good for me," he laughed with her. "How are you doing?" 

"Struggling," she admitted. 

"Have lunch with me?" He asked her. "Here in the rectory." 

"No, I don't want to intrude," Livy said shaking her head. 

"I insist," he said not letting her get away. "Don't make the Lord take it out on me that I didn't help you when you needed me." She smiled and nodded her consent after a few moments of debate. 

He led her back behind the church to a small residence. Guiding her through the house to the kitchen. As she went through the simple home she looked around. There were plenty of books and magazines. But it was obvious he didn't watch TV, as there wasn't one to be seen. 

Sitting her at the table he brought out some leftovers in a Tupperware bowl from the fridge. 

"I hope leftovers are ok?" he asked her. "I don't cook very well, but the blue hairs make sure I don't go hungry!" 

"No, leftovers are fine," she smiled. "Whatever you are having." 

"Mrs. Shakes pasta! Can't get any better than this, leftovers or not!" He said putting the bowl in the microwave. 

After serving her and sitting down he smiled. 

"So," he started. "Tell me what you thought of Mass." She hesitated. 

"Well," she began when his eyes insisted. "The kneeling part was different than my Church. The rote prayers as well." 

"The rote prayers are only for Mass," he said. "If I truly want to talk to God, I just talk to him, like you and I are doing now. The kneeling is involved sometimes, but sometimes I'm just washing dishes or working in the yard and have a need to talk to Him. So I do. I can't count the number of people that walk by the rectory or the church and find me talking out loud to God like He was standing next to me, helping me rake the leaves or whatever." 

"I must say, I felt God move more in the hour I was in your Church than I have in months at mine!" Livy told him. 

"That's because you were listening," he smiled. "You weren't worried about you cheating husband and his sin in the same church. Or your ultra-religious mother, or your pain or humiliation. You were just listening with your heart and He spoke to you." 

"So I should join your church?" she asked with a crooked brow. 

"No," he shrugged. "You should go wherever the Lord tells you to go. It may be here, it may be the Methodist church down the street or even the Southern Baptist on the edge of town. That is if you are into fire and brimstone!" He chuckled and she laughed with him. 

"They all have great men at the lead," Jack told her. "I know because we take the offerings every week and gamble them here at this very table over intense games of poker!" He told her in a confidential whisper. 

"What?" Livy laughed. 

"Just kidding, about the offerings, we do play some mean poker here," he smiled. 

"Men of God playing poker?" Livy asked him with a dubious look. 

"What's wrong with that?" he asked her. 

"My mother would say games like that are sinful," Livy told him. 

"Well," he shrugged. "I'm sure a lot of people might believe that, but we feel that sitting around, playing cards discussing God is a way to share fellowship." 

"You talk about God? While playing poker?" she gasped. 

"We leave him a seat," he said as he pointed to a chair. "He hasn't taken us up on it yet, but we are hopeful! Of course I think it would be hard to bluff the Lord with a busted straight!" 

"I can't believe that!" Livy laughed. "That blows me away!" 

"Why must God be some stuffy, vengeful God?" Jack asked her. 

"Have you read the Old Testament?" Livy teased. 

"Ah, but the tone changed once Christ was born!" he winked at her. "People change with the birth of their children...wouldn't you agree?" 

"I would," Livy smiled. "I did, when Nora was born." 

"Nora?" he smiled. 

"My six year old daughter," she nodded pulling her phone out to show him a picture. She pulled up one of Alex and Nora. 

"That's my sister Alex and my baby girl," Livy said proudly. "Two of the three people in my life that haven't deserted me!" 

"Who is the third?" Jack asked her refilling her glass of tea. 

"My father," Livy replied and nodded a thank you. 

"So, you have Nora, Alex and your dad, and now a priest and the Lord," he said patting her hand. "Sounds like you have all you need!" 

"What do you mean?" she asked. 

"I mean, throw yourself into the people that love you, and stop worrying about those who don't," he said softly. "Trust that whatever happens is God's plan for you." 

"Getting a divorce is God's plan?" Livy countered. 

"Yes," he said firmly. He continued when her eyes begged for clarification. "Why on earth would he make it so cut and dry? I mean, if you don't deserve a divorce given what your husband has done, who does? The man stood in your church and made not only a promise to you, but a promise to God himself...then he went out and broke that promise." He patted her hand. "I would imagine, if you were Catholic," he winked at her. "I could get you what you truly deserve." 

"What is that?" 

"An Annulment," he frowned. "I would go to my Bishop, and under the circumstances, the fact he has violated every oath given to a wife, it wouldn't be a hard sell." 

"I haven't thought about that," she frowned. 

"Well, don't join our church because of that, join for the right reasons," he said to her. 

"No of course not," Livy nodded. "But you wouldn't mind me coming back?" 

"Just as long as next time you bring Nora," he smiled. "I would love to meet her." 

*** 

Chapter 35 

"Happy Birthday," Gavin said kissing her when she came into the kitchen. 

"Thank you!" she smiled. "Can I have another one of those?" 

"Of course," he smiled. "You can have whatever you want on your birthday!" 

"Whatever I want?" she asked him with a smile. 

"Well," he nodded as he nipped at her ear and neck. "When I get back from my appointment." He adjusted. "Then I have a surprise for you!" 

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to get me a gift," she pointed out with an exhale of frustrated breath. 

"You agreed to that, I never did," he smiled. "If you are going to be giving me orders, you better become my wife!" He tossed back at her. 

"Oh man," she smiled. "There is no way I'm going to marry you for at least fifteen seconds!" she teased. He looked at her for a few seconds. 

"Ok how about now?" he teased about the fifteen seconds. 

"I guess," she shrugged teasing back. "If I must! I mean you are only handsome, intelligent, generous, and romantic, with a great body and a great sense of humor, and are great in the sack...I could do worse!" 

"Ok," he smiled. "Thank you for lowering your standards for little ol' me!" 

"Sometimes we have to be kind to the less fortunate," she smiled kissing him. "Now, about that gift you aren't getting me." 

"Again," he said firmly. "You are not my wife." 

"Something I'm dying for you to rectify," she smiled against his lips. 

"Hey," he said pulling his head back. "We haven't even been dating a year yet, I'm not sure if you know my history!" 

"That's not funny," she said scowling. 

"It's a little funny," he laughed. "You just have no sense of humor!" 

"I'm warning you," she said letting him go. "You even attempt to break up with me, I told you I would go full on stage five cling on, and I'm not kidding! Boiled rabbits and slashed tires!" 

"I love rabbit stew," Gavin shrugged as he left her in the kitchen. "See you in about an hour or so, be ready to leave when I get back." 

"To leave?" she asked turning around. 

"After Madelyn's appointment at the hospital, I'm taking the rest of the day off...maybe you can talk me into the day after that, if you are nice and let me spoil you today." 

"If it will get two days with you all to myself, I would let you do anything you want!" Alex spun around her face excited. 

"Even letting me buy that Mercedes for you?" he asked as he looked at her. 

"That would require that whole marriage thing," she countered. 

"Umhmm," he nodded. He winked at her and left. "See you in about an hour or so!" 

"I love you," she yelled out with a smile. 

"Love you more," he called back. 

*** 

"How was Madelyn's appointment?" Alex asked as the plane took off. 

"She is a bigger pain in the ass than you, sometimes," he smiled with a shake of his head. 

"That's only because you love us," she pointed out. 

"Got to start picking better," he teased. 

She got up and went to his seat and sat in his lap. 

"I do believe the seatbelt light is still on," he pointed out. 

"Well," she smiled. "They can come back here and try and throw me off, but I know the owner of the plane, and she likes me!" 

"She does," he agreed. 

"So," she smiled. "Where are we going?" 

"Nope," he said, refusing to answer. 

"What?" 

"You wouldn't tell me what you wanted for your birthday, so I'm not telling you what I got you for your birthday," he said firmly. 

"But you got me something?" she asked him, her eyes narrowing. 

She had hoped that if she didn't tell him what she wanted he would not get her something extravagant. He blew that out of the water when they were walking to Madelyn's private plane. That in itself was extravagant. 

"Of course I did," he said with a shake of his head. "I got you exactly what you wanted." 

"How do you know, when I didn't even know?" she asked him. He lifted an eyebrow to answer her question without a word. 

"Ok, Obi Wan, let's just see," she kissed him. 

Several hours later they walked out of the plane in what felt like a summer heat. 

"Ugh!" she exclaimed as soon as the heat hit her. 

"Wow," he smiled. "A lot different that Chicago right now!" 

"Were are we?" she asked him. Now she was dying to know. 

"Somewhere warm, obviously!" he teased, still not relenting. 

"Florida?" she asked. 

"Farther south," he laughed. 

"The Bahamas?" she gasped. 

"Yes," he nodded. "C'mon, the boat is waiting." 

"Boat?" 

"Yes boat," he nodded putting his sun glasses on. 

They spent another forty minutes on the boat before pulling up to a pier. 

"Ok," she smiled as she took his hand to climb off the boat. "I hate to tell you this, because I know you, but I don't have any clothes for this climate." 

"I know," he wiggled his eyebrows. 

"More shopping?" she said trying to withhold the anger. 

"Nope," he smiled. She looked at him. "This is a private island. Turn around and wave." She did so as the boat was pulling away. 

"That is the last human, well besides me, you will see for the next seventy two hours," he smiled. 

"What?" She gasped as he slipped his arms around her from behind. 

"We are completely alone, for the next three days," he smiled kissing her. "Happy birthday." 

"You are all mine?" She whispered breathlessly as he nuzzled softly around her ear. 

"Always will be," he said into her hair with a smile. 

"What am I going to wear?" she asked with a naughty smile. 

"I'm hoping very little," he winked as he picked up his bag. "But I have a couple things in here for you if you feel the need." 

Walking into the little cabana she was floored. It had several fine amenities. Food and wine for them. The bedroom had a four poster bed with mosquito netting like you see in the tropics. 

Looking into the bag he brought, she didn't see much in the line of clothes for either of them. Most of the bag had toiletries, and a few sex toys. Rope, her wand massager, various lube. She shook her head. 

"Just brought the essentials, I see," she laughed. 

"Everything we need is already here," he smiled. He opened the closet door and there were various robes and wraps for women. "But this island is all ours, we can be as dressed or undressed as we see fit. We won't see the boat again for three days." 

"So there is nobody else on this island?" she gasped. 

"No," he smiled. 

"No servants or wait staff?" she asked. 

"No," he smiled with a laugh at her disbelief. "I could have asked for some, but I remember you saying you wanted me and only me. Some complete alone time. No family, no patients, no distractions. That is what I have tried to do for you here." 

"I absolutely love it! It's exactly what I wanted!" she said excitedly jumping into his arms. 

"Think you can handle me alone for three days?" He asked her facetiously. "No interruptions?" 

"I'll do my best," she nodded kissing his lips. 

"C'mon, the water is calling our name!" he said pulling is tie off and undoing his buttons. She tilted her head at him as he fully undressed and grabbed a bottle of wine a couple of glasses from the bar. He walked down to the beach, uninhibited with his nudeness, his ass flexing as he walked away from her. She was stunned. He was walking naked to the beach, without a care in the world. The most cautious man she knew. 

She sat next to him on the towel he laid out on the hot sand, her naked body touching his. 

"We are sitting naked on the beach," she smiled in disbelief. 

"We are," he said handing her a glass. 

"I guess that is why you didn't worry about packing anything," she laughed. 

"No," he agreed. "This way, if I want to take you, I can. I don't have to worry about encumbering clothes." 

"So...do you plan on taking me?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye. 

"Repeatedly," he said with a sinister grin, his wolf glimmering in his eye. 

"Do you plan on fucking me in the ass?" she asked him point blank. 

"I plan on fucking you any way I desire at that particular moment," he said firmly. "If I get the urge to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours, I'm going to fuck it." He ran his thumb over her lips as he said this. 

"If I get the urge to devour that sweet tasting pussy of yours, I'm going to enjoy it like my last meal," he ran his hand down in between her legs and rubbed her sex, causing her eyes to flutter closed at the gentle touch. 

"If I decide to fuck that tight little ass of yours, I'm going to do just that," he smiled as he slid a finger into her ass as she spread her legs allowing him full access. She gasped at the un-lubed intrusion. 

They played and splashed it he water, enjoying their new found freedom. Alex relished it. The tender moments of laughter, of touching, of kissing. She couldn't think of one thing that would be more perfect than the moment she was having, except maybe the next, which seemed to eclipse the last. 

He was so different right now. He was so relaxed. He was so hers right now. His phone was off and in the bedroom. Not that a cell signal was available anyway. But it was the first time she had seen his phone off! 

They made dinner together, in the buff. Touching and kissing at will, each trying to tease the other. Each successful in their attempts. Dinner was quiet and candle lit and by the end, she was desperate for his touch. 

She took him by the hand, as he reached over to pick up her plate. 

"Tomorrow," she said sucking on his fingers. "Right now, I need you." 

"It's your birthday, your wish is my desire," he said with a smile. 

"I'm holding you to that!" she said taking his cock into her mouth there at the table as he stood next to her. 

She gently suckled him, his cock growing in her mouth, making keeping his length in her harder and harder to do. Soon she had him fully hard, she gripped it with her hand and pulled him towards the bedroom that way. The look in her eye said it all. She had to have him. Now. 

"I'm calling in your marker she said at the foot of the bed," she turned to him with a seriousness he hadn't seen all day. 

"My marker?" he asked her. 

"For the Christmas gift," she reminded. His eyes fluttered closed. 

"Ok," he said. "What would you like?" 

"Your trust," she said nibbling on his lips. 

"You have that," he smiled as she nibbled on his jaw line. 

"We will see," she pushed him to the bed and then kissed and maneuvered him to the pillows. 

"Close your eyes," she said to him. He hesitated for a moment. 

"I hope you are not trying to switch on me," he sighed. 

"No," she said shaking her head. "But I'm hoping you go with the flow for a little bit. It is my birthday, and you owe me." 

"Alexandria," he said with a skeptical frown. 

"Trust me," she whispered. "You are going to love it!" 

"I do trust you," he nodded. He laid back into the pillows and she smiled. 

She went to the suitcase and pulled the rope, this had his eyebrows up. 

"Trust me," she repeated and he twisted a frown/smile mix. He started to say something. "Please Sir, trust me." 

"Ok," he agreed closing his eyes. 

He thought back to Madelyn and his conversation as he wondered what he could do if she wanted more than he could give. Madelyn said 'close your eyes and jump, let Alex to the rest'. This was one of those moments. He would have to do something that his brain seemed incapable of doing. Relinquish control. 

She tied one wrist to the post of the bed. She then tied the other to the opposite side. She checked them to make sure they were secure, but didn't harm him. She had been practicing online while he was gone. She had found some basic knots to do. Nothing as extravagant as what Gavin would do, but she didn't need that right now. She just needed secured. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 29



She straddled his waist, his hot cock sitting against her ever warming sex. 

"This is not me," he pointed out firmly. 

"It is for now," she smiled suckling his neck, then moving down to his broad chest. 

She could see his chest rise and fall with his breaths. She continued to nibble, kiss and suckle her way down. Stopping at his nipples to give him some attention there. She let her tongue trail down him while her eyes were firmly locked on his. 

He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't angry either. He seemed to be just waiting to see what she had in mind. The corners of his mouth tipping from time to time as he allowed himself to enjoy her mouth on his body. 

She ran her tongue out of her mouth and around the head of his cock, nibbling on the end of it. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment at the sensations. She took hold of his balls with her fingers and brought them into her mouth and suckled each one individually, then combined, filling her mouth with them. 

She then moved from them to his cock, engulfing it as far as she could, before her throat stopped its thrust down. She held it there, her eyes watering slightly as she looked up at him. When she could hold it no longer she pulled off slowly, swallowing hard when she had him from her lips. Her small hand fisting his hardness. 

Down she went again, slowly dropping, making inch after inch disappear down her throat under his watchful eye until she had him fully. She flexed her throat muscles as she had been practicing, milking his cock while he was in her throat, causing him to gasp at the feel. 

She pulled off and began to suck his cock in earnest now. Her hand tightly wound around the base, her lips tightly enclosed on his shaft. Her head bobbing while she watched him. She smiled when his eyes closed and his head dropped back. 

She felt his legs begin to flex around her, a sign of his building orgasm. She stroked him harder, she felt the pulse of his cock in her mouth. She pulled off and stopped stroking. Squeezing his shaft in her hand tightly. His eyes fluttered open as his orgasm was denied. 

He tilted his head down to her and saw her smile as she kissed the inside of his thigh, up across his stomach. 

"What are you doing?" he asked her, his voice under duress. 

"I'm doing something very specific to you," she smiled as she bit on his nipples. She brought back the memories of that first night at the Drake hotel. The night he finally fucked her. 

"You are not edging me," he said firmly. 

"Yes, I am," she smiled kissing his lips. Sucking his bottom lip into her mouth. 

"You had better not," he warned. 

She said nothing as she moved her way back down. Her eyes said it all. She was going to do it. He shook his head. Part of him was angry, part of him was laughing. This little perfect girl of his, was going to be a fantastic challenge. She had been since day one, and here nearly a year later, he was still being challenged by her. 

She devoured him causing him to gasp as his cock twitched. She went after him ferociously. Her hand squeezing and pumping hard as she bobbed her head furiously. Never breaking eye contact with him. 

His body told her he was close so she pulled off and caused him to growl as she squeezed back his cum. A small amount appeared at the slit. She slowly let her tongue go to it and pull it off. 

"You are so going to pay for this!" he growled as his orgasm was once again denied. 

"I told you, some things are worth it!" she smiled devilishly at him. 

She waited several minutes before taking his still hard cock into her mouth. He gasped as his body screamed at him for release. She again brought him to the precipice. She watched him shake his head at her, warning her to not stop. She did. 

"You are so fucking going to pay for this!" He barked out in a laugh. She smiled as she licked his balls gently. Feeling them throb let her know he was ready to explode at any moment. 

She left his cock and moved up to his face and straddled him. She lowered her sex on his lips and he devoured her in his passion. Sucking and tonguing as she pulled his hair and lifted his face into her sex tightly. She didn't deny herself her orgasm as she washed his lips with her quaking body as she came with a head back cry. 

He continued to lap at her as she came down from her zenith, her body quaking with every lap. She looked down at him, her eyes sparkling in the light. Her smile one of utter satisfaction. 

"I think you have cooled off enough," he smiled as she slid down his body, her hand gripping his cock and guiding it into her sex causing both of them to gasp as he entered her. 

She began to grind on him, his hips lifting into her causing them both to close their eyes in their pleasurable sex. She let her head fall back and lost control of her own time. She came with a shudder on him and then looked and saw the marking on his face that he was close. 

"Don't you fucking do it," he warned. She bit her lip in a bashful smile as she watched him closely. She rose off him and let his cock snap back down to his belly as she stopped the chance of his cumming. 

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" he barked at her. "Trust me, this is going to be repaid, in full...with interest!" 

"Don't worry my love," she whispered in his ear. "Not only will that be the most pleasurable thing I can imagine, but I'm going to satisfy you in a ways you haven't allowed yourself to!" 

She nibbled on his ear, letting his hot cock throb against her wet sex as she just let it rub up and down his shaft. 

"God I love you," she whispered taking his mouth and kissing him hard. 

"I can't believe I finally found you," he said once she pulled her lips off. 

"What do you mean?" she asked. "Someone to piss you off?" 

"No," he smiled. "Someone to challenge me to be better. Better at sex, better at being a Dom. But most importantly, at being a better man!" 

"There is no way you can be a better man," she said pushing off his chest. "You are absolutely, stunningly perfect." 

She smiled down at him. 

"One last favor, and I'll let you cum," she smiled. 

"As you wish," he said cautiously. She had already taken more liberties than he was comfortable with, but in all this was better than he expected. Surprising for sure. But with Alex at the helm, it was devilishly pleasurable. 

"Close your eyes, just for a moment," she asked. He did as she asked. Jumping into the danger, letting Alex do the rest. 

He felt the cold wetness on his cock and knew what she was doing. 

"Open your eyes," she demanded. 

He looked to her and she was now facing the other way, a reverse cowgirl. Her back to him as she reached between her legs and pulled his lubed cock up. 

"Alexandria," he warned. 

"I will have you," she said over her shoulder, her smile showing this was making her very happy. 

"This is not the best of positions for comfort," he warned her. 

"Watch your cock," she demanded as she put the head of his cock at her anus. 

"Alex," he said softer. 

"No," she smiled. "This is what I want. You owe me." 

He was mesmerized as she lowered herself on his cock. His head pressing the tight ring of her ass. Her body resisting the entrance into the one hole that held painful memories. But she was about to push those into oblivion. Much like Gavin had done every man before him. Soon, the only thing that will enter her mind, will be the knowledge that they have satisfied each other in ways they hadn't imagined before. 

She held her breath as she struggled with the hot searing pain that came with the intrusion of his head. She let out a soft hiss as it pushed in initially. The head disappearing into her caused her to gasp as it passed the outer ring. Her ass holding it tightly within her. 

"Take your time," he said softly. "Let your body adjust!" 

"Yes, Sir," she hissed out as the pain felt like she was on fire in her hole. Her body began to shake with apprehension. It already hurt, and he was barely in her. All the work with the plugs seemingly had no effect. It still hurt! 

"Jesus Christ!" he gasped. "Stop! I don't want to hurt you like this!" She looked back over her shoulder at him. 

"Your face says otherwise!" she smiled recognizing the awe he had in his eyes as he fully enjoyed the sight of his cock in her ass. 

"I don't want to hurt you," he said looking up at her, tearing his eyes from the most delicious sight he had seen. "Not for this, this takes time!" 

"Do not avert your eyes, Sir," she said with a forced smile. 

Her mind and heart was pleased. Pleased to see his admiration of her attempt. Now she had to get him to cum in her, to watch his face in that blissful moment of release. The way she had seen when he had cum in Elizabeth. No matter the pain, no matter the punishment he would invoke later. It would be worth it when he exploded in her. The one hole he had yet to fill. 

She had worn his cum, tasted it and had it in her sex. Now she wanted it dripping from the one hole he desired most. The one he had denied himself for her comfort. Now she would force it, now she would make the sacrifice for him. He had sacrificed, he denied his desire for her. Now she would satisfy him. With no regrets. 

His eyes were locked onto his cock, his head completely in her tight ass. Her ring collapsing tightly on his shaft now. The lube she had put on him glistened on his shaft and built up at her entrance as her tightness pushed it off of him as he entered her. 

He watched the magnificence of it, as she slowly lowered herself, her ring caving in under the pressure from his size. She got about half of him in her and she stopped. He looked up at her and she was smiling at him. The pain was still there, but she was enjoying what she was doing for him. She was enjoying the pleasure written all over his face. 

"You look absolutely stunning," he whispered. "You are the most exquisite woman I have ever had in my life!" 

"Thank you, Sir," she said with a gasp. 

"Please," he said softly. "Stop. You have done more than enough to satisfy my every desire!" 

"Not until you fill my ass with your cum!" she said determinedly. "I have to have it!" He shook his head. 

There was just no dissuading her when she set her mind to something. From deep throating him early on, to suffering through his temper from time to time. Now this, while his heart wanted her to stop, to keep herself from the pain this was writing on her face, his desire for it was overwhelming. 

She continued to lower herself on him. Slowly. Carefully. She held her breath from time to time, then reminded herself to not hold her breath. Soon she looked back with a smile. She had him fully in her. The firmness of her ass now set on his groin. 

He lifted his eyes to hers after he was fully in her. His wolf's smile on, the only thing missing was the wagging tongue and that pleased her. 

"Easy," he warned her as she began to lift up. She nodded but her eyes were closed as she began to lift off and pull his cock from her. She went a few inches up then lowered herself back down. 

"Fuck," he gasped as she did. 

"God your cock feels huge in my ass!" she smiled back at him. 

"I love the way your ass feels!" he smiled at her. "Go slow!" She shook her head. "Go slow!" 

"You are not in charge!" she reminded. 

She bit her lip and began to lift herself a little faster and dropped down with a little more force. She cried out a little as she did this. She watched his face and he was lost in the sight of his cock in her. 

She began to increase her speed as she went, she couldn't get up to the speed he fucked Elizabeth that night, but she hoped she could. The pain kept her from doing so. But it didn't matter. He still had that look on his face that he had that night. That look of utter satisfaction as if nothing was more pleasurable that what was going on right now. 

She never took her eyes off him. She rode him, as hard as he body would allow. He would watch his cock for a few thrusts, then look up at her. He was concerned, she could see that behind the lust in his eyes. She smiled to let him know she was ok. 

She used his thighs to help her ride him, pushing off him with her hands. Soon their bodies were filling the room with noise from their collisions. 

"God fucking dammit," he growled and she smiled. 

He began to lift into her unconsciously. Hurrying his lust up, she said nothing even though it pushed the pain level up another notch higher than she was comfortable with. But it was worth it. 

He came with a shudder and a loud growl, an audible animalistic sound that she had not heard from him before with her. One of utter satisfaction, she pressed her hips down as she felt him buck in her. Smiling, knowing he was filling her ass with cum. 

"Yes, Sir!" She called out as she felt him. "Cum in my ass!" 

"Fuuuuccckkkk!" he growled as he did so. Soon his eyes were tightly shut and she was watching him carefully. She smiled when she realized, she had done what he had done to her so many times. 

She had fucked him into a dizzy.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 30



This section includes some information that I hadn't even thought about until it was brought up. This has information that was inspired by Crazy_Christine, some answers for you, my Lady. It wasn't until you wondered that I thought on it, it was in my head but never fully brought out. I hope this answers some of your questions. 

A special thanks to gentleoneexplorer and Silentsubmissive for their continuing encouragement through my email and on the feedback portal. 

***** 

Chapter 36* 

She walked softly in the sand out towards him, the sun just off the horizon, peeking over the trees. He sat on a towel, nude, which she was still getting used to, watching the ocean roll in and out on the beach. 

"Good morning," he said when she was near. 

"Good morning!" she smiled as she sat down, gingerly. He shook his head at her but she leaned in and kissed him with a smile. 

"I wish you wouldn't have done that," he said to her as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

"I'm ecstatic that I did!" she countered not looking at him. 

"It could have waited," he said softly. "I was in no hurry." She huffed out a disbelieving breath. 

"You just don't get it, do you?" she asked him as she watched the water. "Unlike what you believe, I don't have a desire to dominate someone. I do, however, have an overwhelming desire, an insatiable desire, to please you. In every way imaginable!" She looked to him and he saw the passion in her eyes. 

"I can't explain it, I've never felt such an overwhelming force in my life! The only thing that comes close, is my art," she told him kissing his outer arm. 

"Seeing the look on your face, when I please you...well that is what I'm in this for. It's not the orgasms. It's not the way you make me feel while we are in a scene. It's seeing your face after that scene. Seeing your face last night as I finally got to please you in a way I hadn't before," she shrugged as she couldn't come up with the words to adequately describe the internal thoughts and feelings she had. 

"You are the first woman in my life, that has pleased me in ways I never thought possible," he told her bringing her tears to the edges of her eyes. "I just want you to know something." He let a smile slither out. 

"And what is that, Sir?" she smiled with him. 

"If you leave me, I'm going full on stage five cling on...I'm talking boiling rabbits and shit," he threw back at her. 

"I like rabbit stew," she smiled as the tear fell. "But I promise you, that will never enter my mind. I'm here for the long haul. I'm here until I can't breathe anymore." 

"Then we are on the same page," he nodded. 

"So there is nothing left to fear," she smiled. 

"Have I given you something to fear?" he asked her. 

"Every day," she smiled. "When I can't touch you, I realize just how empty I would be if you aren't there." 

"Touch me," he said firmly. "Anytime you want." 

"I can't," she huffed out a laugh. "We are not in the vanilla world." 

"Then I'm changing the rules," he said stroking her face. "Touch me when the desire strikes you." 

She reached up and stroked his face. Her fingers quivering with happiness. 

"Any chance I can get you to stop spending lavishly on me?" she asked. "Seeing how you are in a rule changing mood?" 

"None," he said firmly which caused her to laugh. "I like spoiling you. I like spending my money on you, it gives me great pleasure." She nodded that she understood. 

He pushed her back into the sand and covered her body with his, his mouth tonguing gently on her lips before closing the gap to kiss her. He maneuvered between her legs and she wrapped her arms around him. Her fingers snaking into his hair and that brought out his smile. She matched him. She finally had what she wanted, permission to touch him as she pleased. 

She gasped as she felt him enter her, her body screaming for him to do so. He continued to kiss her, his hips grinding into her slowly. Alex lifted her legs and wrapped them around him, her feet pulling on his backside, urging him deeper within her. 

His lips devouring around her. First her lips, then her ear, then her neck before falling back to her lips. Their tongues battling one another in a playful game of swordsmanship. 

Her fingers pulling at his hot skin, her nails digging slightly as she pulled on his broad shoulders, holding his body tight to hers. Her teeth gnashing on his shoulders when his mouth wasn't covering hers. 

He pressed off the sand and hovered over her, his hands in the hot sand on either side of her head as he thrust into her. Her breasts jostling with his thrusts, jumping as he increased his speed into her. He looked down and saw the nipples hardening in her sheen of sweat brought on by the heat of the early morning, and their lovemaking. 

She used her grip around his neck to pull herself up to him to nibble on his chest as he continued to pound away at her. He leaned back, his knees coming under him as he sat on his heels, his cock never leaving her. She laid back and watched him.  

He lifted her legs up and put them into the crook of his arms, then leaned forward, forcing her feet up near his head. She smiled at him, and she was thankful for being somewhat flexible as this position allowed him a deeper penetration into her.  

He was now in a near push up on her while he was in her, her legs folded up and the only joining of their bodies was the way their sexes intermingled. She was staring up at him as she grunted with the force of his thrusts. Her body on fire as her orgasms began, first one, then another, then another. 

The only time she would not watch his handsome face was when her orgasms forced her eyes closed. She wanted to watch him, to see his face when his orgasm hit. She was under the same impression he was when her orgasms came. Nothing pleased her more than his orgasm. When his body would stiffen, his orgasm would flow from his body into her hotly. 

She watched it build on his face and smiled as she bit her lip. 

"Cum for me Sir," she begged. "I need your cum!" she egged him on. 

He doubled his speed and his force, now her feet were near her shoulders as he pummeled her sex with his cock. Then with a shudder she had her wish. It flowed from him as he crushed her lips with his and stared into her blue eyes as he erupted in her. 

For the first time since they were together, Alex thought about how it would please her for this moment, his orgasm into her would cause a life to spring from her body. No they weren't married, and no they may not be ready. But the time spent with Nora had her thinking how wonderful a father he would be. And she wanted that. Soon. Sooner than she had ever dreamed, but this man had her thinking those thoughts. 

*** 

They were swaying in the hammock, this was what she was loving more than anything. More than the sex, more than the fact that he wouldn't be leaving on some call at any moment. It was these tender moments where they were just lying together, touching one another, that she was living for. 

Now she lay in his arms, both staring at the palm trees above their heads, the white wisps of clouds on the perfectly sunny day, and just beyond that, the blue he said reminded him of her eyes. Soft, deep and soothing. 

They weren't talking, just swaying with the flick of his leg every once in a while as it hung over the side to keep them softly swinging. She in the crook of his shoulder as his arm was draped over her, his hand wrapped into her fingers. 

Her other hand up and stroking through his dark hair, enjoying her new found freedom to touch him. She reveled in it. Now there wouldn't be that regret of touching him and having to stop. Now she could touch him, at any time, just to make sure he was real. 

"Can I ask you some questions?" she asked him dreamily. 

"Of course," he laughed. 

"Some may be painful," she warned him. 

"Ask your questions," he said softly. 

"Tell me about your parents," she whispered. 

"What do you want to know?" he chuckled seeing this was one of the question she was worried about. 

"Everything," she said. 

"Well," he shrugged. "Of course you know, my mom was teacher, we lived in Minneapolis. My dad was the janitor. They met there, her in her first year, he in his second. A kid had thrown up in the classroom on her first day!" 

"Wow! Welcome to teaching!" Alex laughed. 

"I know," he smiled kissing her head. "My dad said their marriage was built on vomit!" This caused Alex and Gavin to laugh together. 

"God they loved one another," Gavin said with a shake of his head and a wistful smile that Alex didn't see, but she could feel. 

"I used to go over to friend's houses and see how their parents acted then thought they were weird because their dad didn't bring home flowers randomly. Or gifts randomly, things for no reason at all," Gavin said. "I thought that was how you showed a woman you loved her, you spoiled her!" 

Alex turned and looked at him. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she asked him. He shrugged. "Nobody does that!" 

"Nobody?" he asked. 

"Not until I met you have I ever been spoiled in such a fashion by a man," she said settling back into her previous heavenly position. "I mean they would take me out, to a movie or dinner, but I always knew there was an ulterior motive!" 

"My father always told me, make sure the women in your life know that you appreciate them. In words and in deeds," Gavin told her. "Words can be hollow, he would say, but if you say the words and do the deeds, they know they are coming from the heart." 

"I asked him why he bought flowers for mom all the time," Gavin said kissing her head. "He said he would see something, during his day, that would remind him of her and he had to buy it, most of the time it was the beauty of the colorful flowers. They matched her." 

"They were always kissing on one another," Gavin remembered gently. "I would bring somebody over and they would embarrass me as they would always be touching or kissing." 

"That sounds fantastic!" Alex growled at him. 

"It wasn't so fantastic when I was ten," he laughed. "My friends would be like, are they going to have sex? It was pretty gross!" This had Alex laughing with him. 

"I was in college when my mom got sick," Gavin said with a frown. "Dad was beside himself, he couldn't handle it." 

"I can't blame him," she said softly. 

"They didn't tell me for the longest time," Gavin told her, a tinge of anger at the fact in his words. "I was in med school when they finally told me, by that time mom had already been told she didn't have but a few months." 

"I was livid!" Gavin admitted to her. "I mean, yelling at them, throwing a tantrum that would have made you proud!" Alex nodded. She didn't want to stop him with words she knew would be pointless to soothe his pain as no words could. 

"I wanted to come home, but mom threatened to whoop me if I did," he said through his teeth. "She said she didn't raise a quitter, I was to graduate, she would see me do that before she left." 

"I did everything I could to hurry it along," Gavin admitted. "My dad took her around the world with him. Which was always his desire, to take her on cruises in the Med. To see the Great Wall, to swim the Great Barrier Reef. They saved their whole lives for those trips, dad gave up on them when she got sick." 

"She demanded they go," he continued after wiping his eye. "Doctor advised against it. But mom always got her way with dad. They went. They lived. They loved." 

"She lied to me," Gavin said finally. "She passed before I graduated." 

Alex cried there with him, she could feel his body shaking slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. 

"Dad said he felt responsible for it," he continued. "He said not to be angry with her, if he hadn't taken her on the trips perhaps she would have been strong enough to last." 

"Pavy broke the news to me that dad had died in his sleep a few months later," he gasped. "I know the man just couldn't live without the woman that made his heart beat." 

"At graduation, I had their wedding picture under my cap," Gavin finally was able to get out. 

"I'm so sorry," Alex whispered through her tears. She let him sit there while she gently stroked his hair. Trying her best to soothe the pain he was feeling. 

"You know," he said after a while. "You, Pavy and Madelyn are the only one who know that." 

"Thank you," she said softly. "I know they are very proud of you. You didn't quit. You had every reason to, but you didn't." 

"Now what do you want to know?" he asked. 

"Why couldn't Alyssa keep you as a sub? Why was it so horrific for you? I mean, I absolutely love being your sub! I love being a sub more than playing with Erin that night by a long shot!" She asked him turning to look up at him. She hoped this wasn't nearly as painful as the last question turned out to be. 

"I mean, Alyssa was gorgeous, had a fantastic body," Alex continued to rave, as she went back to her original position. "She seemed adventurous. She seemed like she would have been a good match for you." 

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I liked Alyssa, but she was wanting more than I could give." 

"Explain," Alex demanded. 

"Well, it was early on in my lifestyle experience," he began. "I wasn't sure what I wanted, Madelyn had guided me around at my first party. She was a great mentor, see my mother and Madelyn had a lot of the same attitude. Very dynamic, very strong." Alex nodded. 

"Anyway, Madelyn is the one that encouraged me to try it all before deciding. An informed decision is the best one," he said. 

"Sounds vaguely familiar," Alex teased. He kissed her head. 

"I met Alyssa, she was into her third year of the life," he continued. "She had tried the sub thing for the first year, then she was a Switch for a short time. After a while, she found that being a Domme was more to her satisfaction so she kept that persona." 

"I met her at one of Madelyn's parties," he said flicking his leg to get them going again. "She convinced me to try being a sub." He sighed deeply. "Like I said, it wasn't for me, and the entire time I found no enjoyment. Not that Alyssa didn't try, she did. She tried various things to expose me to something I would like. I just couldn't let go and let it happen." 

"Why?" There was a long silence as they sat there. The gentle swinging of the hammock making the only sound as the rope rubbed on the tree. 

"I don't like to feel helpless," he finally admitted. "I was helpless to save my mom. I was never more helpless than in med school when I was running around trying to find Carla. Or when I was taking care of her after she was coming down from a bad trip. I was helpless to help her in her pleas at rehab. Helpless to save her at the end." 

"I vowed I would never not be in control again," he said firmly. 

Alex turned to face him, her eyes apologetic. 

"I'm so sorry!" she gasped. "If I would have known that...I would have never forced you last night!" 

He took her face in his hands and his smile comforted her. 

"Last night," he smiled and shook his head. "Wasn't the same feeling." 

"It wasn't?" 

"I can't explain it," Gavin shrugged. "But I didn't feel helpless. Yes I started to get the same feeling, but then...," 

"What?" she asked him when he stopped and shook his head. 

"Then I looked into your eyes and I saw the pleasure in them," he smiled. "I then trusted you, and knew that you wouldn't make me helpless." 

"Of course," he smiled broadly with a shrug. "Seeing my cock in your tight little ass was pretty awe inspiring as well!" He wiggled his eyebrows at her. 

She moved up to him and kissed him, before putting her head on his chest as she laid on her side. Her hand gently stroking his chest as she listened to the soft, hypnotic thump, thump, thump of his heart. 

*** 

He was sitting in the chair after lunch reading a book he brought with him. She was watching him from the kitchen while she washed up the dishes. He would look up from time to time and they would smile at one another. 

She turned after putting the dishes in the cabinets after drying them to find him gone from the chair. The book in his place. She looked outside the kitchen window to see if he was there but he wasn't. When she turned he was coming out of the bedroom, with the rope in his hands. She smiled. 

"Come here," he demanded. The Dom coming out clearly. 

"Yes, Sir," she said coming to him. He picked her up and set her on the table. 

"Lie back," he said placing his strong hand on her back as she leaned backward and he gently laid her on the table. 

He ran his fingers over her body, running them along her arms pushing them until they were straight above her head on the table. He then moved to the head of the table and began to wrap her wrists carefully. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the feel of him running his fingers gently over her, the feel of the rope as it snugly bound her wrists together. 

Unlike the night before when she tied him up, where her knot was simple, Gavin was Gavin. Complex. Soon she felt her wrists tugged on as he pulled the rope to tie it off on the legs at the far end of the table. 

She felt him drag his fingers down her arms as he walked down the length of the table, his fingers brushing across her nipples as he kissed her lips, his tongue dominating her mouth. He left her suddenly, leaving her lips still tingling from his kiss. 

Moving farther down, pulling his fingers with him as he went. It brushed only briefly across her sex which was a flash of disappointment but she knew that would be only short lived. 

Another length of rope was now being used on one leg. Folding it up, with her heel up against her hamstring. His weaving of the rope left her leg folded in half that way. Then it was tied tightly to the leg of the table on that side. He then repeated the procedure for the other leg, tying it tightly to the opposite table leg. 

Now she was spread wide, her knees pulled tightly as they were firmly restrained by the legs of the table. Impossible to close them no matter how hard she tried. She lifted her head and looked down between her knees at him. He had pulled the chair out and sat down. Her sex in front of his face as he slid the chair closer to the table like a man getting ready for a large meal. 

He stared at her sex for a few moments, admiring it, it appeared to her. His secret smile out, as his eyes sparkled in utter pleasure of what lay before him. He gently lowered his head down to her, holding just off her sex to where she could feel his hot breath on her as he hovered there. 

She dropped her head back to the table after watching his tongue come out and slowly trace the outside of her stretched sex. The gasp escaping her lips as he gently, lovingly tongued her sweet sex. 

"Easy?" he asked her as his tongue trailed in her causing her to squirm. "Or harshly?" he said with a sinister lilt in his voice. 

"Whatever pleases you, my Sir," Alex smiled remembering those words from Horse Cock the night of her first party. The party that brought her irretrievably into this life. 

"Both then," he smiled. She gasped as he tongued her gently. His tongue massaging her bud, causing her to moan and yip. 

He loved that little noise she made, it was pure pleasure. He knew she wasn't even aware she was making it. It let him know, she was immersed into letting herself go, to release her inhibitions to him for his pleasures. 

He gently worked her, bringing her to orgasm slowly. It appeared slower than she desired, however. She would, as it built, start to rock her hips in an attempt to work his tongue faster. When she did this he would pull off of her causing her to whine audibly. 

When her hips remained still for a few seconds he lowered his smiling lips back to her, slowly bringing her along until she began to move again and he stopped. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 30



"I'm sorry!" she pleaded. "I don't realize I'm doing it until you stop!" He laughed at her gently. 

"I know," he said lowering his lips to her sex again, the vibrations of his voice causing a new sensation on her sensitive flesh. "I'm making your body work." 

"Thank you Sir!" she gasped as he brought her to the brink. 

"Now," he said still flicking his tongue against her. "If I was mean, like you, I would stop!" 

"Please don't!" she begged knowing this was going to happen whether she wanted it to or not. He was in complete control and he would do exactly what he wanted, when he wanted. 

"No," he smiled. "I want your taste to fill my mouth." 

He watched her as her stomach raised as her muscles just below her delicious flesh flexed, her neck craning as her orgasm twisted her muscles against her will. With her bindings she was limited in her movement so she twisted against the rope. Until her orgasm flushed from her in a rush. 

She collapsed to the table with a thud, her breath ragged from where she held it during the throes of her orgasm. 

"Delicious," Gavin whispered as he never stopped eating her. She lifted her head and gave him a pleasured smile. "Now, time to get serious!" 

Burying his face into her roughly had her squealing with pleasure, his hands pulled at the top of her thighs, pulling her into his mouth as he attacked her like a lion would its prey. His head thrashing as he went after her. 

It was a matter of mere minutes before she was cumming again, this one harder than the last. She squirted, just a little, his face being coated with it. But he never slowed, he brought his hands into play. She loved his magnificent hands, they rubbed on her clit while his tongue probed her. 

His hand circling on her bud at a rapid pace bringing the third orgasm seconds after her last. Her body arched, her neck pushing her body off the table as she lifted completely now, shoving her hips into his devouring mouth. 

She collapsed to the table after she let out a short scream of pleasure that echoed in the house. She was now having trouble breathing, the hot humid air made it feel like she had been running a marathon. 

She struggled to bring in the hot air as it seemed too thick to breath. The sweat was running off her body in rivers from her passion. Her hair matting to whatever skin it clung to as the sweat she had caused it to bind to her. He got up and left her on the table, she looked to him as he walked by her smiling. She knew he wasn't done, just by his smile. 

He walked to the sink and ran the cold water into a glass, she watched him with admiring eyes. He then went to her and held the glass above her overheated body and let the water pour slowly over her breasts, the sharp difference in the temperature in the air and the water in the glass had her gasping. 

He ran the glass lower, coating her entire upper torso with water, including cooling her sex with the water. Making her gasp as she relished the refreshment of the cool water on her. 

He then went to the fridge and pulled a cube of ice out. He came to her with it, his secret smile on full display. Starting with her lips, he gently began to trace the outline of her. 

Her lips first, down her chin and around the side of her face to her forehead, then down to her nose, over it to her lips where she sucked on the cube before he moved on to the other side of her face. 

Coming back down her forehead and nose again, to her chin, down her throat. The melting ice leaving a cool line of refreshment as it went. Down to her nipples, which made her suck in a breath as he traced the areolas with the cube of ice before covering the hardened nipples with his hot mouth. The sudden change in temperatures had her yipping pleasurably. 

Moving down lower, following the midline of her stomach, her muscles flexing under her skin at the difference in temperature. 

Back to his chair he sat. The ice cube coming to rest on her hot sex making her suck in a breath as the cold sensation caused her to shiver. He began to lick her again, the cold water dripping from the ice mixing with his hot tongue causing her to convulse as her body enjoyed the feelings of both. 

He laid the ice cube on her clit which had her body frozen as he watched her body shake as another orgasm washed from her as she let out another soft yell of pleasure. He continued to move the ice cube around her until it was small enough to put into his mouth. Then did so. 

Now his tongue was a combination of hot flesh and coldness that had her shuddering as he didn't let up on his oral pleasuring of her. The next orgasm left her breathless and smiling. Holy shit, she thought to herself. Holy shit! The things this wonderfully, fantastic man was able to do to her and for her. 

*** 

They were watching the sun set from the pier, their feet dangling in the cool water. Wine bottle now empty as they shared it. He had offered to go in and get another but she refused, wanting to spend every second with him that she could. She was not ever willing to lose him for the few minutes it would take to go inside for the wine. 

"Alright," he smiled. "My turn." She looked to him with a smile resting her chin in her shoulder. 

"Go," she whispered happily. 

"Why no boyfriend," he asked. "I mean, that first night in the condo, you said you had two men long term," he rolled his eyes in opinion of what she considered long term. 

"Hey," she warned. "Yours doesn't normally last much longer!" He chuckled with a nod. 

"And two one night stands," he continued. "Why?" She shrugged as she didn't really know why. 

"Why did you not have boys beating down your door?" he pushed. "I mean you are absolutely breathtaking to look at. You smile, your eyes." He stroked the side of her face. "Then your inner beauty...beyond description...beyond compare." She watched him admire her and she was lost in him. 

"So why?" he asked again. 

"I don't know," she shrugged. "In high school, I guess I was an ugly duckling. It seemed I only cared about my art. So I was usually covered in paint or colors. Sometimes charcoal." 

"I didn't come out of my shell really until I finally was able to get out from under mother's roof," she shrugged. "I met Lena in college and she kind of helped, let me wear her clothes. Hell, I didn't even wear my first pair of tight blue jeans until college. In high school I wore dresses until I dirtied them all up with paint, then my mother made me wear overalls which I liked more than dresses, even though I was called a farmer because of it!" 

"You don't mind the dresses I make you wear," he pointed out. 

"That's because the dresses you buy me, make me feel sexy! I feel like a woman, a desirable woman! I see men looking at me from time to time as I go about my day," she smiled. "Like the car valet at the Drake, remember?" He nodded. "The dresses I wore then were very conservative. Very constrictive. Very uninspiring." 

"I feel empowered now," she continued. "Beautiful." 

"You are beautiful," he said firmly. 

"It's not the dresses," she smiled. "It's you...you make me feel beautiful, therefore I become beautiful. Because of the strength you give me." 

"As for the lack of boyfriends, I learned early on, that I was wanted for one thing, and one thing only," she frowned. "I got tired of being treated like I wasn't important. Like I was something to have after they ran out of things to do." 

"I like the way you look at me," she said turning her head to him. "Your eyes say how much I mean to you without a word." 

"I like the fact that I'm the reason you come home," she said with a little smile. Repeating what Livy had told her he had said that morning at the coffee table. 

"Uh! She ratted me out! Your snitching sister!" he complained. 

"She said it was the most romantic, loving thing she had ever heard!" Alex smiled proudly. "And I agree!" 

"I love it when I come home," he said softly kissing her lips. "You have this look on your face, in your eyes, like...well, like I'm Christmas." 

"You look at me, like I'm the greatest gift in the world. Like the moment I told you we would be on this island for the next three days, alone. It gives me goosebumps when you look at me that way." 

"I never feel more important than when you look at me," he finished. "And I hate the look you have when I leave. Like I have hurt you and you are never going to see me again!" 

"Look at me," she demanded wrapping her legs around him as they sat there. "I don't want you to leave for purely selfish reasons! I love that you are a doctor. That you help people. I just wished you didn't have to leave me to do it! I want to be around you like this, all the time. Every second of every day of every year for the rest of my life." 

"But the last thing on this planet that I want to do, besides losing you, is take away the joy you have of what you do!" Alex said firmly. "I want you to be a doctor. I want you happy at all times. I'm sorry if I have taken any part of that and tarnished it with my selfishness!" 

"I just have to learn to share," she smiled. "I'm not good at it, but I will get better. I may never like you leaving me to do your job, but I know in my heart that you will never be happy unless you can be a doctor. And if it comes to my happiness or yours, I choose yours!" 

*** 

He was gently massaging her in the bed. His hands firmly kneading away the tightness of her orgasms from the kitchen table. God she loved this. This pampering after a scene. She always felt a tinge of regret that she was the one receiving all the pleasure it seemed. Her many orgasms only to be followed with moment like this, a massage. Or bathing her. Everything spoiling her. 

She loved the way he could be so gentle and loving. Like on the pier, not afraid to say what his heart felt. Not afraid to shower her with love. 

She felt him straddle her. One knee to a side and her eyes fluttered open as she felt his hardness against her flesh. 

"I'm sorry," he smiled. "I can't help myself right now." She spread her legs slightly and his hard cock fell between them. 

He angled his cock by using his hips, she shifted to help him slide into her causing her to gasp as he filled her with his cock. 

"Fuck yes," she hissed. 

He began to bite at her, her first inclination that this session was going to be rough. Her smile coated her face. She loved it! The wolf coming out of him. That this session was all about his pleasure, not that she wouldn't be pleasured in the process, but this was all about him. Something he rarely let himself fully enjoy. 

He pulled her hair to the side and continued his assault on her tasty flesh with his mouth. Nipping at her with his teeth and sucking on her skin. His hands slid under her arms and hooked her beneath her arm pits. Holding her firmly he began to pound with his hips. Thrusting in her with a fervor of a man who hadn't had sex in years. 

His hips slamming into her ass causing it to hurt, because of her final victory of having his cock in her ass, just by his force. She was still sore from her anal intrusion. While she knew it wouldn't last forever, it was still there. A sharp stinging pain anytime she sat, or she moved in a way that her ass was stretched. She said nothing and did her best to keep it from him. Burying her face into the pillow as the pleasurable pain of his ravaging engulf her. 

His grip was tight on her shoulder pulling her down into his upward thrusts. His cock reaching into her depths with his hardness. She screamed out as he took her, her orgasm near. He went faster seeing this. Her face reddened by her bliss. 

She screamed out as it washed from her, but it didn't slow him. He continued to ride her like thoroughbred. She didn't care anymore, she was fucked into oblivion like he had done so many times before. Her body shook as he took her by his immense force. Her body being thrust into the plush mattress as his full weight coupled with his power pounded her. 

The sound of their flesh filled the room as did their sound of passion from their lips. Her cries of pleasurable orgasm, his growl as he let the wolf out to ravage her. His fingers digging into her shoulders, his teeth into her neck. 

He slipped one arm out from under her and hooked it over the slat on the bed that acted like a brace as it crossed from one post to the other. Now he was using that brace to pull himself harder into her. The bed rocking now with his power as well. 

Her hands snaked above her and took hold of his hair and pulled him tighter to her skin as he continued to mark her. The bed crackling under their force. The slat broke under his strength but he didn't stop, instead he took her hair and pulled it gruffly causing her face to become available as he bit and suckled her lips from the side. 

He growled out as he pulled into her deeply, his cock spurting in her recesses filling her with a happiness that the wolf had joined them on the island. 

He collapsed on top of her, their breathing slowing as he kissed her gently. His body covering hers as he let his legs slide from beneath him, which had her sucking in a breath as the angle of his cock changed with it. He started to move off of her but she stopped him her hands. 

"No," she begged. "Stay right there, please?" 

"As you wish," he smiled. 

*** 

Alex awoke the next morning, her eyes fluttered open. Gavin's arm was over her protectively. 

"I've died and gone to heaven," she whispered with a smile. 

The soft light filtering in the room told her it was early morning. The soft sounds of the ocean could be heard. The soft scent of salt and Gavin's cologne circled around her in a pleasurable intoxicating cloud. 

She could feel him against her. His cock against her back. It set her aflame instantly. She had to have it she decided. She eased from under his arm and maneuvered herself gently down the bed, turning upside down with her head towards the foot of the bred, her feet towards the head of the bed. 

She was cautious not to wake him. She gently pulled the sheet away and saw him, his cock deliciously inviting her in. She eased closer to him and gently took his cock in her mouth. The soft warm feel of his cock made her smile. She loved the feel of him, in her mouth, in her sex, hell she just loved the feel of him anywhere. 

"If I could figure out a way to design an alarm clock that did just what you are doing, I would become the next Bill Gates!" Gavin teased as he awoke to her soft mouth on him. 

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," she smiled as his cock hardened and she was able to nibble on him. 

"This is definitely something you have no need to apologize for! I can't think of any man that would be angry at being woke up this way!" Gavin laughed as he stroked her thigh with his hand. 

She continued to work on him, smiling as she went. Soon his cock was at full strength. She loved making him hard. It seemed like such an easy thing to do, but she was always happy with the accomplishment. It meant she was going to be pleased. One way or another. 

She felt him take hold of her hips and pull her on top of him, rolling over onto his back. Now they were in the "69" position. He began to gently probe her with his tongue. She slid a bit to allow his full access and she gasped as he thrust his tongue into her. 

She continued to suck him, setting the pace. If she went slow, he went slow. If she sped up, he sped up. The more aggressive she got, he reciprocated. She lost track of what she was doing when her orgasm hit her, she held his cock in her mouth and froze in her state as his tongue brought her to her peak. She was unable to suck him while her orgasm owned her, only able to keep his cock in her mouth as her orgasm came and went. When it finished she was able to go back to him. 

She ran her tongue up and down the sides, around the head of his magnificent, pleasure bringing cock. She took him all the way down and held him. He brought his fingers into play as she did this. She felt him slide them in and his tongue exclusively suckled her clit as he fingered her. 

He was so good at bringing her orgasm out of her as another began to build in her. She worked hard, she wanted him to erupt at the same time, knew that was going to be difficult but was trying nonetheless. 

His fingers had her pushed over the top and she screamed out her pleasure with her lips still around his cock, the vibrations of her scream reverberating off his stiff shaft making him close his eyes as the sensations were new. He never stopped suckling her clit with his lips as he pushed her through it. 

She renewed her gusto on him now, she didn't want his cum later. She wanted it right now! She fisted his manhood tightly, her mouth devouring him. His hands gripping her ass as he ate her let her know he was close, she looked down at his feet and saw his toes pointing out as he built. She knew that meant he was very close. 

"Alexandria," he growled. "I'm going to cum!" 

She never missed a beat as she sucked him, holding him just inches off her face as she jerked his cock, forcing his eruption to coat her face around her mouth, one shot, then another, then another. The hot sticky mess making her lips stick together slightly as she coated herself with his salty seed. 

When he was done, she cleaned the head of his cock off and rolled off of him, laying on her back as she used her finger to touch his cum on her face. 

*** 

Alex sat in the boat as Gavin took one of the men that came to prepare the cabana for the next set of lucky inhabitants inside. He was going to point out the damage they had done the night before, and make arrangements to pay for it. 

She flushed with embarrassment as the two came back out of the cabana laughing together. She wondered what Gavin had told him in way of explanation. Gavin shook the man's hand and made his way to the boat. 

She looked at the island one last time. This was the most perfect thing she had ever experienced. She got exactly what she wanted. Gavin alone! The only problem with that was now they were headed back and she would again have to share him. Something she really didn't want to do. 

As he climbed aboard the boat the motor started and they began to move away. 

"Thank you so much for my birthday gift," she said snuggling into him at the back of the boat. 

"So I did a good job?" he smiled kissing her head. 

"Like you could do anything less?" she scoffed. 

"You make it easy on me," he said wrapping his arms around her. "This is all I want to do, please you." 

"Mission accomplished," she said closing her eyes. "By the way...what did you tell the man about the bed?" 

"I told him my girlfriend likes rough sex, she was using it to fuck me silly when she broke it," Gavin laughed out quietly. 

"You didn't!" she gasped. 

"No," he shook his head. "I told him the mosquito netting had fallen, and I was using it to help me put it back up when it broke." Gavin shrugged. "I don't think he bought it totally!" 

"Well there is one thing for sure," Alex smiled. "If Heaven is a lot like these last three days, I'm going to be a very good girl! You know, pray regularly and stuff?" 

"I pray every day," Gavin whispered. 

"You do?" 

"I have to," he nodded. "I have to thank Him every day, for bringing me you." He kissed her head with a smile as he felt her hold her breath. 

"Breathe for me, Little One," he smiled against her hair. 

"I can't with you talking like that!" she gasped. 

*** 

Alex left Gavin in the condo, he was busy catching up on his emails and checking in with his clients. She had hogged him long enough she decided, she wanted him more, but knew that he was back to being the doctor. Something he loved, and now she was going to make sure she didn't taint that with guilt because he wanted to please her. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 30



She decided to go back to the apartment she supposedly shared with Lena. The only thing she actually shared there was the bills. Alex didn't mind, it made up for all the time she didn't pay her half the bills saddling Lena with them in her past. 

Walking in, she dropped her keys on the entry way table like she had done a thousand times before. She checked her stack of mail, there was a lot of it. Nothing of any great importance so she left them there. 

"Hey!" Lena called out happily as she came into the living room. Alex peeled off her coat and Lena furrowed her brow. 

"Ok," Lena said in confusion. "We are coming off one of the coldest winters in recent memory and you have a tan with a tinge of sunburn? Are you going to a tanning booth?" 

"No," Alex laughed. 

"I tried to call you on your birthday," Lena continued as she stared at Alex and her secret smile as Alex sat next to her. "All I got was voicemail." 

"Sorry," Alex continued to smile. 

"Oh my God would you just tell me?" Lena growled with a smile. "I know that fantastically wonderful man spoiled you, so out with it!" 

"He took me to...a private island," Alex said carefully biting her lower lip in happiness. 

"He owns an island?" Lena gasped. 

"No! He rented it, for three days," Alex corrected. 

"I hate you," Lena said with a shake of her head. "You are no longer my friend!" 

"Sorry," Alex laughed. 

"Then try to at least act like it!" Lena chastised. 

"Yes ma'am," Alex shrugged. 

"So," Lena pushed. "Details!" 

"Well," Alex said putting her head in Lena's lap. Their 'therapy' position it was called. "It was in the Bahamas." 

"Sounds terrible," Lena smiled as she stroked her friend's hair. "We had sleet yesterday, just in case you were wondering." 

"I had warm sunshine, a hammock and my man," Alex sighed. 

"I fucking hate you," Lena hissed playfully. 

"It was exactly what I wanted," Alex continued. "I had him, for three days, without a soul around!" 

"You were totally alone?" Lena gasped. 

"Completely, utterly, totally...alone," Alex said rubbing it in. "Nobody within forty minutes of boating!" 

"What did you wear? You didn't come back here for your suit," Lena pointed out. 

"There was no need," Alex said with a mischievous smile. 

"You went topless?" Lean asked in disbelief. 

Alex pulled her shirt to the side of her shoulder showing there were no tan lines. 

"You are such a slut!" Lena teased. 

"I wasn't just topless," Alex continued. 

"What?" 

Alex pulled down her yoga pants a little to show her hip contained no line either. 

"You went completely nude?" Lena asked shocked. 

"For three days I wore no clothes!" Alex smiled up at her. 

"Gavin?" Lena asked as she was dying to know if the conservative man did something similar. 

"Has a matching tan!" Alex laughed biting her lip as Lena dropped her head back to the couch in disbelief. 

Alex's phone chiming had her pulling it closer to her. She frowned. 

"Shit," Alex said softly. 

"What?" Lena asked. 

"Gavin is on a call," Alex frowned as she typed a reply. "Looks like dinner alone." 

"C'mon, girls night out! My treat, my belated birthday gift!" Lena told her pushing her up. 

Over dinner, Lena caught Alex up on all she had been missing in her little version of heaven with Gavin. Mike and Lena were progressing to the point where he was spending the night a couple times a week. That made Alex happy, to see Lena smile about a guy. 

Walking down the downtown sidewalk headed for the car to head back to the apartment they found a club with live music. 

"C'mon!" Lena smiled. "Let's give it a listen!" She tugged on Alex's hand, paid the cover charge and they made their way in. 

It was a new upscale club, with plenty of swank. Servers in bow ties and dresses. The music was good as they found a table to sit at. 

Drinking her Cosmo, Alex looked around the busy club. Her eyes falling on her. Elizabeth. She was talking with a man Alex didn't recognize. It wasn't Royce. Elizabeth seemed to be getting really friendly with him. Touching him gently as she laughed and whispered in his ear. She seemed to definitely be putting the moves on the unknown man. 

He appeared to be a little on the rougher side, he had tattoos on his arms and a goatee. Alex could even see a large tattoo on the side of his neck. Alex smiled, she hoped that meant the Royce was out and Elizabeth had moved on to a new man. Alex was happy, any man was better than Royce! 

"Oh man," Lena said drawing Alex's eyes to her. "She won't come over here will she?" Alex shook her head and shrugged. 

"It looks like she is busy!" Alex teased. 

"She left Gavin and now is going after something like that?" Lena asked disapprovingly. Alex shrugged. 

"I can't explain it," Alex told her. "Sometimes a sub and Dom don't grow at the same speed, one wants more than the other. So to be happy, they have to split. It's no different in the vanilla world." 

"Listen to yourself!" Lena laughed. "Sub..Dom...Vanilla world," Lena pointed out. "Like it was no big deal!" 

"It isn't," Alex shrugged. "It's not for everybody, but it is right for me." 

"Well," Lena smiled holding up her glass for a toast. "It looks good on you!" 

"It does?" Alex asked. Lena nodded happily. 

Alex turned around to see the man nod and Elizabeth pull the man out of the bar by his hand. 

"Hey, I'm going to say hello," Alex said getting up thinking of their last encounter that ended badly. She didn't want to leave it that way. She wanted to be friends with Elizabeth and she wanted to show her there were no hard feelings for their argument. 

"Alex," Lena frowned. 

"Just a sec," Alex assured her moving away quickly. 

Alex looked both ways as she exited the bar, she saw Elizabeth pull the man around the corner of the building next door. She went that way hoping to catch them before they got into their car. 

Alex turned the corner and stopped suddenly in the darkness of the alley. The man was now leaning on the wall, Elizabeth was on her knees in front of him sucking his cock there. Neither was alerted to her presence, but for a second Alex could do nothing but watch. She finally willed her feet to move before she was seen. 

She spun her body to the main sidewalk and hugged the building with a smile. She shook her head. She couldn't blame Elizabeth, she had the same urges come over her and she would have done the same to Gavin if the mood struck her. 

Walking back into the bar she rejoined Lena. 

"Did you find her?" Lena frowned. 

"I did," Alex laughed. 

"Was she in a better mood?" 

"OH yeah," Alex giggled. Lena furrowed her brow at the way Alex said it. 

"She was in the alley, I guess she couldn't wait to get home!" Alex said with a flick of her eyebrows. 

"No shit?" Lena gasped. Alex nodded as she took a drink from her glass. 

A few minutes later, the man returned and took his seat back at his table. Alex watched for her but Elizabeth didn't return. Alex frowned, then smiled. Maybe that was why she had him in the alley, she had to go, but he didn't.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 31



Hello readers! I would like to thank all of you for following along with me, but after 250k words and 850+ pages it's time for a break. In this chapter Alex and Gavin take a sabbatical of sorts so I think I will join them. Not for forever, just for a bit. 

I love the fact all of you have taken the time to read my story and many of you have left feedback or sent an email to me with encouraging words or some helpful critique which I need as I do want to improve as a writer. I even enjoy the one reader who is constantly criticizing what a terrible story this is, hoping it will end or believing this story is about abuse. I would prefer 'constructive' feedback but if nothing else it pushes me to work harder. My only confusion is, if it is so horrible, why are you still reading 30+ chapters later? There are other stories, by much better writers, on this site to choose from! 

This story is far from over but I need to take a break for a while. I have set my target date for September 1st, (my birthday) for my next posting. I may go back to writing before then, as this is a passion of mine and sometimes I think I am going to take a break only to be inspired to write, but I will just keep them on the computer until then. Instead I will have to do some editing of my next novel to be released, it has been put on the back burner as I have taken Gavin and Alex to heart. 

Again, thank you so much for coming along with me, and while there will be a brief interruption in our story and time together, it won't be forever. Thank you from a humbled writer, I'm humbled to have you as readers! 

CJT 

***** 

Chapter 37 

Alex awoke with a start, the phone ringing had her jumping in the bed. It wasn't Gavin's cell so it was odd to hear the condo phone go off, with its loud angry shrill. 

"Hey man," Gavin said sleepily as he pulled the phone to him. "What?" Gavin shook his head as she turned on the light next to the bed. 

"Ok," Gavin said slowly. "Ok, slow down!" 

He listened as Alex scratched her head and watched him. 

"Dude," Gavin said but seemed he was interrupted. 

"No," Gavin again tried to say something only to be cut off. 

"If you will just shut up for a fucking minute I might be able to answer you!" Gavin laughed. "I've got you brat." 

That told Alex all she needed to know, it was Pavel. 

"Is Pavy ok?" Alex asked immediately. 

Gavin nodded as he continued to listen answering her question while listening to his friend rattle on. He pulled a note pad to him and began to scribble on it as Pavy continued to talk into his ear, Alex could do nothing but watch. 

"I'm on it," Gavin said firmly. "C'mon dick head, you know me better than that! I'm on it." Gavin laughed as Pavy said something that made him look at Alex and that had her wondering what Pavy said about her. 

"You know you can always count on me," Gavin said firmly, he then laughed heartily. "No, you still can't have her, she's all mine." He said this with a wink at Alex, again the two men were talking about her but leaving her in the dark. Judging by Gavin's eyes, the conversation was inappropriate. 

"Alright," Gavin said standing up. "I'll call you back in five hours, I should have some sort of update by then." Gavin smiled at whatever Pavy said then hung up. 

"What's going on?" Alex asked him. 

"Pavy's med supplies were hijacked by the military," Gavin frowned. "All the begging he just did for supplies a few months ago is now in the hands of the warlords." 

"What's he going to use?" Alex asked getting up. 

"He's got a few days worth of supplies left, but he needs more," Gavin said leaving the room with Alex on his trail. "I'm going to call in some favors, why don't you go back to bed?" 

"No," Alex said. "Let me help, with the two of us we can cover more ground." Gavin shook his head as he knew better to argue with her. 

"Ok," Gavin agreed. "Call Madelyn, let her know what happened." 

"What's Madelyn going to be able to do?" Alex asked him pulling her cell phone up. 

"Madelyn has friends all over, right now, I need some of them from the State Department," Gavin smiled. "I'm going to wake up a few hospital directors and see what I can rustle up." 

By dawn, they had both been on the phone for hours. Gavin with hospitals and local medical distribution facilities, Alex talking to Madelyn, who gave her a list of numbers to call. 

"Ok," Alex said walking into Gavin's office. "I can't get anyone to give me a meeting with the State Department, Madelyn says they should be able to get us there, but she doesn't know how much help they can be when we get there." 

"That figures," Gavin nodded. "I've got literally a ton of stuff for him so far, some of the medicines he wants are going to be tough, but I'm calling some pharmacology companies." 

"Ok," Alex nodded. "I'll deal with the State Department, you keep working on supplies." 

"Alex," Gavin shook his head. 

"You have to get that medicine," Alex said firmly walking towards the bathroom. Gavin started to follow her when the phone rang stopping him. 

He caught her coming out of the bedroom forty-five minutes later, dressed in a formal business suit. 

"Are you sure you're ok with this?" Gavin asked her as he looked her over. 

"How is the medicine coming?" Alex asked letting him drink her in, not answering his question except with her demeanor. Brushing it off as she didn't want to argue with him for that would go against her desire to be submissive. If she didn't vocally argue she was still holding true to that promise, wasn't she? 

She watched him judge her outfit and frown, this was not an outfit he would have approved of as it was stiff and formal. But she was heading to the State Department local office and she wanted to appear professional. She couldn't walk in looking like Gavin liked her, skin showing and sexy. 

Although the thought did cross her mind to use her sexuality to get someone to talk to her. She then figured, with her luck, the one person who could help her would be a feminist, and totally disapprove of her sexy attire. 

So, she went business like, striving for looking professional. She hoped she was making the right decision. According to Madelyn, the only branch of the government that could help, was the State Department. So this was the only shot they had of getting the medicine to Pavy in a hurry. 

"I have Merc, Novartis and Roche scrambling to put something together for me," Gavin said with a smile. "It's a good start." 

"Ok, well keep working, a good start is a lousy finish," Alex said grabbing a light jacket. "I'll be back when I can." 

"You are not going to just walk in and get a meeting at the State Department," Gavin warned her as he shook his head. 

"I'm not leaving without talking to someone," Alex said firmly. 

"Get ready for the run around," Gavin said with a tilt of his head. "I'll work on a backup plan while I wait." 

"Good deal," Alex smiled. 

"Hey," Gavin stopped her. "Thanks." 

"I love you," she smiled and blew him a kiss. He gave her a wink then went into his office as the phone rang. 

*** 

Alex had been sitting in the Jackson Avenue Office waiting for nearly four hours. Gavin had texted several times but Alex was getting the run around that he warned her about. She was trying to be patient, but this was starting to piss her off. How long does it take to talk to one person behind the desk? She was about to get up and go bother the receptionist again as that had been the only thing she had been able to accomplish today. Annoy the only person she had been able to see. 

"How long have you been waiting sweetie?" Alex turned and saw Madelyn standing there. 

"Four hours," Alex said standing and hugging the woman. "Did you have any luck on your end?" 

"Yes," Madelyn smiled. "C'mon it's time to press some buttons." 

The two women walked up to the receptionist and she grimaced as she saw Alex coming up again. She was tired of telling the woman that there was just no way anyone, would see her without an appointment. The receptionist admired her persistence, but it was making for a long day for her. 

"I'm here to see Ashton Waltz," Madelyn smiled pleasantly. 

"As I told Ms. Lasko...repeatedly," the receptionist began again. "Without an appointment it's just impossible to see anyone! Let alone the Director!" 

Madelyn nodded but paid little mind to the woman behind the desk, as she was busily tapping away at her phone. She then smiled and waited while looking at the woman. 

"Really, I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do," the woman said apologetically. Madelyn nodded never dropping her smile, the phone rang at the desk. "Excuse me." Madelyn nodded as the woman answered her phone. 

"You have really been here for four hours?" Madelyn gasped. Alex nodded, it seemed that Madelyn was in complete control but Alex was losing her patience. 

"It's so nice spring is coming, isn't it? Not as nice as I hear your Bahama trip was, but it will be nice to see you keep that tan you have," Madelyn went on like she didn't have a care in the world. Alex blushed at the thought that Gavin had given Madelyn personal information similar to what Alex and given to Lena. 

"Ms. Faultz," the receptionist said with an embarrassed smile. 

"Yes?" Madelyn winked at Alex. 

"If you ladies will follow me," the woman said leading Alex and Madelyn through a door to the side. 

"Are you kidding me?" Alex growled. "Less than five minutes?" 

"Baby, when you have been around as long as I have, you accumulate lots of favors!" Madelyn explained taking Alex by the arm and hooking hers in. 

"How?" Alex asked her. 

"I happen to know the Chairman of the Armed Service Committee," Madelyn smiled. "Who just happens to know the Director of Foreign Intelligence, and he just happens to be having a meeting right now with the Secretary of State." 

"Name dropper," Alex teased. 

Ok there was no way Alex had the ability of Madelyn she frowned. Madelyn knew politicians! Alex barely voted, never listened to a political debate and wouldn't know a politician if she was introduced to them. 

"Ms. Faultz," the local director smiled shaking her hand. 

"This is Ms. Lasko," Madelyn said firmly. "She had been waiting for four hours!" 

"I'm sorry, but we are really busy today," he said taking the reprimand in stride. 

Alex wanted to gripe about the fact he just dropped everything to talk to Madelyn, but didn't want to ruin what little shot they had with a temper tantrum right now. If this didn't work she would have plenty of time to scathe the man in this room. 

"What can I do for you Ms. Faultz?" the director asked. 

"Absolutely nothing," Madelyn smiled pleasantly sitting down. "It's Ms. Lasko that's in charge." Madelyn smiled patting Alex's hand, the man looked to Alex. 

Alex explained everything to the man who seemed to be perplexed as to why he was having to hear this. 

"I'm not exactly sure what you think I can do for you," he finally said after Alex finished and looked at him as if to say, 'how do you plan on fixing this'. 

"Well, I need to arrange a flight from the U.S. to Africa," Alex said shaking her head. Was this the reason this country was so confounded? Everything had to be spelled out, letter by letter? 

"It sounds like you need a cargo company," he said leaning forward. "Customs and the like." 

"No," Alex said in a near growl. "You're not hearing me! That would take weeks if not months!" 

"I am sympathetic," the man began. 

"Pavy doesn't have that type of time!" Alex interrupted. "He has enough supplies to get him through a couple of days, with the war spilling over the boarder he is dealing with thousands of refugees!" 

"Again, I'm not sure the State Department...," 

"You can supersede the whole customs thing," Alex told him. "In times of emergency you can deliver medical supplies without the normal red tape." 

"That is in times of disasters," the man explained. 

"What the hell do you call a war?" Alex asked him, the exasperation filling her voice. "A normal occurrence?" 

"Africa is not considered a disaster," he explained calmly. "It is in the midst of a civil war that has been going on probably longer than you have been alive." 

"People are dying, people that have nothing to do with the war!" Alex said her temper rising. "Women...children!" 

"Ms. Lasko," he said with a deep sigh. 

"Do you like your job?" Madelyn asked after being quiet letting Alex work. She was enjoying watching Alex's passion. The way she was determinedly going after this man and not letting him break off into his diatribe of what he couldn't do. 

She loved Alex's tenacity, it would serve Alex well when the time came. Madelyn knew Gavin, and only Alex's tenacity would keep him on the path of what Madelyn wanted, and that was him settled down with a family. 

"Excuse me?" he gasped. 

"What I mean is, is Chicago where you really want to be?" she asked. "From what I understand you want a foreign post?" 

"Yes," he nodded with a smile, seeing where she was going. He leaned back into his chair and watched her. "Are you saying you have some ability to help facilitate that?" 

"Are we not sitting in your office?" Madelyn smiled, intimating that by that fact alone she had some clout. "I'm assuming someone above you called?" He nodded with an appreciative grin. 

"Help Alex now," Madelyn smiled. "I'll make a few calls, I have lots of markers out. I'm an old woman so I might as well start calling some in." 

The man looked at the woman admirably for a few moments. He then shifted his eyes to Alex. 

"What exactly do you need?" he smiled. 

"I need a plane," Alex said matching his smile. "Preferably a military plane, a big one!" 

*** 

Walking out of the State Department office Alex looked to Madelyn in disbelief. 

"What the hell?" She smiled shaking her head at the woman. 

"This is politics sweetie, which is what my late husband did," Madelyn smiled. "I became quite adept at dealing with these type of men. I even began to make my own maneuvers after a while as it seemed even the wife of political shaker had some sway." 

"I had the shaker that politicians wanted, and as his wife, I had him exactly where I wanted. So to get to him, some came through me, which benefited all. That is why I have been at many State dinners in both Springfield and D.C. I still have a lot of friends in...well, a lot of different places. Markers sweetie, favors, that is the currency of politicians. Money gets you elected, markers get you re-elected." 

"There were many people that needed my husband's help moving up and around!" Madelyn said proudly. "He accumulated lots of markers and after his death, those transferred to me, as some of the things he did, well let's say there are certain people that would be better off if those favors didn't come to light!" 

"You're amazing!" Alex laughed hugging her. 

"Now, you owe me a marker," Madelyn smiled. Alex pulled back. "Oh yes, sweetie, nothing in life is free, if I am going to call in some markers I have to get a marker in return. That's how you stay relevant in this game. So to call in markers, I have to get one as valuable, and that is you." 

"I'm not in politics!" Alex gasped. 

She had no idea how she would be of any use to Madelyn in this world of deals. She was an artist and a substitute teacher, she had nothing to contribute to the world of politics! 

"No, but now you owe me a big favor," Madelyn shrugged. "That's the nature of it." 

"What do you want?" Alex asked her, surprised at the heavy handed statement. 

"Nothing right now," she smiled. "But soon...I will want something from you." 

"What if I can't pay it?" Alex asked her. 

"You will pay it, this is not something you can welch out on, Dear," Madelyn said firmly as Charles pulled the limo door open. "You will have to find a way to give me exactly what I ask for. If that means you have to owe someone else for that, then that is your problem." 

"Madelyn!" Alex gasped. 

"Bye Sweetie!" With that Madelyn closed the door. Alex watched the car pull away with a slack jaw look of disbelief. 

"Why do I feel like I just made a deal with the devil?" Alex asked herself. 

*** 

"Hey!" Gavin said meeting her in the living room. "I was starting to get worried!" 

"I got the run around," Alex said as she tossed her jacket haphazardly to the side. She was still deep in thought at what Madelyn had said. What happens if she can't pay Madelyn back? Would that ruin their friendship? Would it ruin Madelyn's relationship with Gavin, which would in turn ruin her relationship with Gavin? 

"What's wrong?" he asked her rubbing her shoulder as he put his hands on them. 

"Madelyn showed up," she told him with a worried brow. 

"Yeah, she called and I mentioned you were going down there," Gavin shrugged. "So she showed up?" 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "If she hadn't...I guess I'd still be there...she says I owe her a marker?" 

"Uh-oh," Gavin frowned. "You know that never ends well." He smiled. 

"This is not funny! What if I can't come through for her?" Alex gasped sitting down the couch. 

"She won't ask for something you can't do," Gavin assured her. 

"Do you owe her any markers?" Alex asked him. 

"Absolutely not!" Gavin laughed. "I don't make deals with the devil!" Alex laughed because he was laughing and she had made a similar statement. At least they were thinking like a couple, both on the same page. 

"How did your day go?" Alex rolled her eyes. "Seeing how you didn't have to sell your soul!" 

"Well, the Pharmaceutical companies aren't much better, but they are coming in big," Gavin smiled. "They should, as I have contacts in just about every major hospital...so they were eager." 

"So we have all we need?" Alex smiled. 

"We have a bulk of it," Gavin nodded. "Shit, it's time to call Pavy!" Just then Alex's phone went off but she didn't recognize the number. 

"Hello?" she asked apprehensively. 

*** 

"You still have him on the phone?" Alex asked coming into the office after Gavin had been on the phone with Pavel for ten minutes. Gavin nodded and pushed the speaker phone on. 

"Hey Pavy!" Alex called out. 

"Hey Beautiful!" Pavy called out. "I hear you got the same run around I did!" 

"Were you successful?" Alex asked him. 

"No chance!" Pavy fumed. "I'm not an American citizen, so that didn't help at all...I think in some corners of your government they still believe the cold war is going on!" 

"Well, I'm learning that to do anything in this world you have to give and take markers!" Alex smiled. "So now you owe me one!" 

"Oh how I would love to pay that off!" Pavy flirted. 

"Back the fuck off my girl you piece of shit!" Gavin warned jokingly. 

"Oh shit," Pavy laughed in tease. "I thought I was just talking to her, didn't know you had me on speaker phone!" 

"Keep your slimy hands to yourself!" Gavin said with a smile and a shake of his head. 

"Ok," Alex continued after she stopped laughing. "The State Department is giving us a military transport plane...they said that way it is protected by the U.S. Government. That includes any cargo inside." 

"Sounds fantastic!" Pavy said with a deep relieved exhale. 

"Sorta," Alex frowned. "The problem is, once the cargo is offloaded...it is no longer protected." 

"Shit," Pavy growled. 

"Which means the military there can do exactly what they did before," Alex explained. "Now if someone can meet the plane, then the cargo will be signed over to them, then that person will be protected by the U.S. Government as a courier. Meaning they will have some sort of weird quasi-diplomatic status." 

"So somebody needs to be there," Pavy said finishing up Alex's thought. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 31



"Not where you are, the plane can only go to Nairobi," Alex grimaced as she said this, she knew it wouldn't be well received. 

"Alex, honey," Pavy gasped. "Do you know how far away Nairobi is from me?" 

"Yeah," Alex closed her eyes. "The State Department will not send a military plane into a combat area, it would put the government in a precarious position. If the plane were to be shot down, it could be considered an act of war." 

"Fuck," Pavy growled. 

"Look Pavy," Gavin came in. "There is nothing else we can do, you have to meet the supplies or it's more than likely you will lose this shipment as well!" 

"I know," Pavy said softly. "It's just the time it would take to get there, and then back, the fact I'm basically by myself here! I just might as well count on fifty to a hundred dead, Christ...if not more!" 

"Pavy," Gavin frowned. "Would you rather lose a hundred? Or thousands without the supplies?" 

"Fuck you," Pavy barked. "Can you make that decision?" 

"No," Gavin frowned. "Look do you have anybody there trustworthy enough to go in your place?" 

"Yes and no," Pavy sounded like he was exhausted and pissed. The phone was silent for a while. 

"Pavy, we have no choice, send who you have," Gavin finally said. "We will just have to hope for the best!" 

"Yeah," Pavy grumbled. "Hey, thanks you guys, I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful, I just...man this puts me in a bind!" 

"I know my brat," Gavin agreed. "What else can we do?" 

"Ok," Pavy said trying to sound more upbeat. "Alex when can the plane be here?" 

"The plane is already on its way to Chicago, so as soon as it's loaded, he said about 27 hours," Alex said. 

"Figure three days, Pavy," Gavin said. "I have the supplies coming into Midway airport, then they will load and leave." 

"Three days," Pavy repeated. "Then another three days from Nairobi to me...six days." 

"Pavy?" Gavin said interrupting the Russians thoughts. "What else can we do for you?" 

"You done so much now, I hate to ask for anything else," Pavy said with a sigh. "Thank you both so much...Alex, whatever you want sweetheart, it's yours!" 

"I'm holding you to that!" Alex smiled. "Pavy? You be careful there, it will work out!" 

"If you knew just how much of a long shot that was...given my circumstances!" Pavy tempered. "Love you guys! Gavin kiss her good for me, and Alex take care of the lout for me!" 

"Will do," they said in unison. 

*** 

Gavin was staring out the window when Alex came back in from getting takeout food for dinner as neither felt up to cooking. 

"Hey," he smiled. "I thought you got lost!" He teased as he complained about the time she was gone. 

"I have an idea," Alex smiled broadly. 

"Ok," he said stopping his advance on her as she pulled out a little blue booklet. "Fuck no!" He barked shaking his head to show he was doubly sure that her idea was a bad one. 

"Pavy needs us," Alex said still holding up her passport. 

"Absolutely not!" Gavin barked. "This isn't some fucking little vacation spot! This is a Goddamn war zone!" 

"I know," Alex said dropping her hands. "You heard Pavy! He is in a bind! It sounds like he is there all by himself!" 

"Alex! I...," Gavin looked to the ceiling. 

"He needs you," Alex said firmly. "Thousands of people's lives are at stake here!" 

She crossed the living room and took hold of his face and tilted it down to look at her. 

"You said you wanted to make a difference," Alex reminded him. 

"What?" 

"That day, we were at the opening of the Expo, you were sitting on the bench and you said you wanted to make a difference!" She reminded. "You said I touched more lives in the matter of a few hours than you did in all that you were doing." He nodded that he remembered. 

"This is your chance to make a difference," Alex said kissing his lips. "I know...I know this isn't what you had in mind, but rarely does life give us the choice of how we make a difference!" 

"I can't," Gavin shook his head. 

Alex dropped her head, she knew he would come up the same old argument of leaving his patients. But Pavy was right, they were inconsequential compared to what a war was doing to people. 

The patients Gavin had were dealing with sex injuries from kinky sex, and health problems brought on by poor eating habits, drug use, heavy drinking and smoking. The occasional sports injury due to men who still believe they are in their twenties instead of fifties. 

In the year they had been together, only Madelyn's stroke seemed to be non-self inflicted. An injury that deserved his attention, the others only used him to keep their secret in the dark, or because they were rich enough to show off that they had a private physician. It was a status thing. She knew to get him on the plane, to help him help himself, she had to do something dramatic...but this could backfire big time! 

"I'm going to Nairobi," Alex said firmly hoping this didn't blow up in her face. "I'm going to make sure he gets those supplies, now I know there is no way in hell you are going to let me go there by myself. So why are we even arguing about this?" She smiled as she tilted her head up to peek at him. 

"You are quite the piece of work!" Gavin gasped. 

"Oh, one little thing," Alex smiled. "I was doing some research and I don't think you can wear your Armani suits there!" This got Gavin to laugh. "So it looks like we are shopping tomorrow!" 

"My, my," Gavin said shaking his head. "Who is the Dom again?" 

"You are, Sir," Alex tilted her head down. "Yet you are getting on the plane with me!" He closed his eyes and nodded. 

*** 

Alex was loading up boxes onto a pallet two days later when Gavin came over to her. 

"What's all that?" he asked her. 

"Candy," Alex smiled as she blew out a breath. "You are going to be giving inoculations, right?" He nodded. 

"Then the kids deserve a sucker for it!" Alex smiled. 

While Gavin went shopping for appropriate clothes for the African heat, she went to one of the warehouse stores for cases of suckers and other non-melting type candies. She wound up with two car loads of various candies that Lena had to come help her transport from the store to the airport. 

"You are incredible," Gavin said taking her in his arms. "I hadn't even thought about stuff like that!" 

"You had more important stuff to worry about!" Alex told him. Just then his phone rang and she rolled her eyes. She hoped it wasn't some last minute patient crisis that would cause him to guilt up that he was leaving them again. 

"Wheels up, they said, in ten minutes!" Alex said laughing as she used the military lingo the men and women loading the plane were using. He nodded at her, she hoped she would be laughing after the phone call. 

Sitting in the passenger area of the plane she watched him double check the supplies that were in the cargo area. 

"Dr. Steward?" the Air Force Captain called out. Gavin waved at him. "We are ready if you are." 

"Let's go," Gavin shrugged. "Is there a passenger area?" 

"The whole plane is pressurized, so anywhere you want to be will be fine, just don't open any doors!" The Captain joked. 

"Probably ought to tell that one!" Gavin pointed. "She is the trouble maker!" He teased. 

"Well," the Captain shrugged. "This is a military plane, with weapons. If she gets out of line, let me know." 

"I assure you, she will be out of line," Gavin snickered. 

He sat next to her and she leaned into him. 

"Pavy is going to shit when he sees you!" Alex smiled. He was joking and giving her a hard time, so that meant the phone call wasn't a last minute hiccup. 

"More likely about you!" Gavin countered. 

"No, he said he needs a surgeon," Alex smiled. "He told me if he ever got you there he would work you ragged!" 

"That last call was Pavy's dad," Gavin smiled. 

"Is he alright?" Alex asked. 

"Yes, he used to work for the U.N., remember?" he asked her and she nodded. 

"Well, he is going to have the U.N. troops escort us to Pavy," Gavin smiled. "It seemed the old man was worried about me going into a war zone, so he wants to make sure I'm ok. He called some of his old buddies from the U.N. and they agreed to help out." 

"What about Pavy?" Alex asked him. Gavin shrugged. "Really? Oh man, that's funny!" 

"He always liked me better!" Gavin smiled. "Did you know when he bailed us out, he bailed me out first, then waited fifteen minutes before getting Pavy!" 

"Ok," Alex said shaking her head. "I want to help, so show me something that will let me help when you guys need it!" 

"I don't know," Gavin said shaking his head. "I don't know what he has, what he doesn't...I just flat out have no idea what we are walking into there. You will have to learn on the fly!" 

"Well we got twenty seven hours of nothing to do," Alex told him as the massive plane began to move. "Show me what supplies we have, the names, if nothing else I can be a gopher. I can get you and Pavy bandages and instruments." 

Gavin nodded as he kissed her. They spent hours going over the supplies, both the technical terms and the medical lingo term. Alex made notes and was a quick learner, Gavin wasn't surprised in the least when she was. She seemed to be able to absorb anything, if she set her mind to it. 

*** 

Alex was walking in the cargo area, pulling out her sketch book to do some drawing while she was doing nothing on the plane. Gavin handed her a cup of coffee. 

"Thanks," she smiled. 

"You know," he smiled touching her face. "I had you on Madelyn's plane and there is something I have always wanted." 

"A little cliché isn't it?" Alex laughed as he pulled her back towards the cargo netting. She had the same thought but believed he would laugh at her for wanting to join the 'Mile High Club'. She should have known he would use his Jedi powers and know she wanted this, another sexual bucket list item to check off! 

"Yes," Gavin said. "But I don't care." 

He began to kiss her, pushing her against the cargo netting. She let her hands pull his head into her lips tighter, she loved the ability to touch him. He had given her two terrific gifts for her birthday, the trip to the island where she would spend some much wanted alone time with him, and then, permission to touch him whenever she wanted! 

She smiled as he lifted her wrists up and twisted the netting around her hands. One, then the other until she was spread out. She watched him with a gleam in her eye, she had thought about this herself. This would be a much better way to pass the time! She also found it humorous that while he had given her permission to touch him, he still found ways to drive her insane with making sure she couldn't touch him. Like the cargo netting used to bind her hands up and out of play. 

He let his fingers start to move over her, starting with her face, gently moving down to cup her breasts through her shirt. His hands gently squeezing her soft mounds. He stared into her eyes, letting the blue in them infect his mind with pleasure. 

The feel of her body made him shake his head, the softness of her flesh. The way her lips playfully called him in for kisses. The way she held her breath, the way her deep blue eyes sparkled their approval at him, made him want to devour her. To consume her whole, to possess her in ways no man had ever done. 

What was worse, is that he wanted to do it all at once! No woman had this effect on him. To turn him from a model of patience, to that of giddy high school virgin in the back seat of the parent's Chevy! Desperate to lose the stigma of being a boy who knew not of the pleasures of women. 

He began to kiss her neck causing her head to turn to the side allowing him full access to Alex's soft, warm, delicious skin. His hands dipped under her shirt and he pushed it up until it revealed her soft mounds. He then lifted the bra up as well releasing them for his pleasure. They hardened immediately in the coolness of the cargo area. He let his thumbs brush across the top of them, letting them feel the hardness, their pebble like feel. 

He dropped his head and took one nipple roughly between his teeth and bit, causing her to yelp in the sharpness of his teeth as it grated on her sensitive nipple. He released it and went to the other nipple, and attacked it with a similar ferocity, causing a similar response to that attack. 

He used his hands, as his mouth worked her nipples, to undo the button on her pants. He gently ran his fingers inside her panties and pushed them down with her pants to where they were on the floor of the plane. 

He came off her nipples to look at her in the eye, they sparkled with her approval and he matched her. He looked over her body as it washed with pleasured goosebumps. He let his teeth scrape along her shoulders and arms as he followed the bumps across her body causing her to suck in a breath and hold it. 

He let his pants fall to around his ankles, then he slowly pulled Alex's legs from the puddle of blue jeans around her ankles. Pulling the blue jeans free and tossing them to the side so they were out of the way. He then stood back and looked at her one last time. Her shirt up and her breasts out, her nipples hard, rising and falling with her quickened breaths. Her legs slightly quivering, he couldn't tell if it was from the cold or excitement. Perhaps it was both. 

Her hips slightly angled as she leaned back against the crates behind her, her sex on display for his eyes. Her thin strip of dark pubic hair, neatly trimmed down to her sex. The lips of her sex, engorged with her excitement, wetting slightly. She was loving this, her body was telling him so. Then again, she was so into their sex lives that there wasn't anything he had found that she wasn't excited to do with him. 

He moved closer to her and ran his hand down the side of her face slowly, letting them fall and run down her body to her hips where they slipped behind her to run down her ass which was firm under his touch. They went down, slowly, to the most exotic space he could think of, that slight curve of her ass where it met her thigh. 

Oh how that made him weak, on days when she would stand at the closet deciding what to wear, in only her thong and that exotic place was there for his eyes to enjoy. That was his kryptonite. 

He then ran his hands around her thighs to the front, gently brushing against her sex with his thumbs as he moved down the inside of her thighs now, down to her knees. He then scooped Alex up with her knees in the crooks of his arms as the thick straps of the cargo netting held her wrist above her head, he lifted her off the ground slowly as he stared into her eyes as he guided his cock to her entrance with his hips. 

He found her sex with the tip of his cock and it was warm and moist, showing her excitement. He drove his hips forward slamming into her causing her call out in surprise at the way he entered her. She had expected him to slide in easily, but this was a hammer drive, causing their skin to meet with a slap and a yelp that filled the cavernous belly of the cargo plane. 

With her legs in his arms, his hands cupped her ass and he began to pull on her to meet the forward thrusts of his hips. Slowly at first, after the initial thrust, but she shook her head at him. This wasn't what she wanted, nor was it what he wanted. So he began to bring her in harder to meet his thrusts. 

Soon she was biting her lip to keep from calling out in her pleasure, alerting the crew to their lovemaking. While her hands were high above her head, her sex angled to let his cock drive into her, it cocked her body at an angle that left her open to him. He ravaged her, his mouth sucking hard on her breasts and marking her with small purple hickies in several spots. 

His hands gripped her ass roughly, pulling her cheeks apart as he used them to pull into his body causing their bodies to slap roughly as they fucked. He left her breasts and covered her mouth with his and their tongues danced with one another as he continued to plow into her there in the cargo netting. 

She bit his lip with her orgasm flowing from her for the first time, her legs tightening in his arms as he held her up. Her eyes snapped tightly shut as she was unable to watch him in the midst of her orgasm. It seemed to force all her muscles to constrict at once when she was in the midst of her throes of pleasurable release. The scent of which wafted up to their noses, inspiring more desire. 

When her first orgasm subsided she began to flex her legs to help him, to bring her body into his harder, urging him faster and harder. The desire to have him cum making her crazy. 

His legs began to shake, then they froze up holding him back from thrusting into her, but she was already riding him with her own strength, while he erupted in her with grunt as he squeezed her firm cheeks in his hands. He shuddered and filled her with his cum. Her own orgasm washing from her for her second of the session, at the same time, mixing with his seed as they climaxed together. 

With their breathing erratic from their sex, she laid her head back and reveled in the fact he was unable to control himself around her. She let her smile coat her face as she felt his warmth in her, his cock still hard and deep within her body. She loved the fact that this controlled man became uncontrolled the longer they were together. She absolutely loved it! It seemed he just couldn't stop himself, nor did she want him too. 

*** 

Gavin and Alex descended the rear ramp on the back of the plane just as a forklift had arrived and began to unload the supplies. They shielded their eyes to the bright African sun. They looked around the large airport to a young black man in white shirt, tan shorts and wire framed glasses who was looking over a clip board. He must have be just over eighteen. If that. 

He was arguing with somebody from the Nairobi military. It was very animated as the two argued back and forth. Gavin was surprised that the young man was so forceful given the automatic machine gun the soldier held. It was obvious that whatever they were arguing about, the young man was willing to risk all. Just then a set of U.N. cargo trucks appeared. 

Gavin touched Alex's arm in a silent command to stay put, as a couple of members of the flight crew ventured out of the plane to see who was arguing so forcefully. The stood next to Alex and watched as Gavin made his way over. 

"What's the problem?" Gavin asked the men that were arguing. Both men looked to him briefly only to look to Alex, who sort of listened to what Gavin intimated with his touch. She didn't venture all the way over, just halfway. 

"Who are you?" the Nairobi soldier asked. 

"I'm Dr. Gavin Steward," he told them handing him his passport and papers that the State Department prepared for him. 

"Dr. Steward?" a man jumping out of the U.N. truck called out. 

"Here!" Gavin waved as he watched the demeanor of the soldier in front of him. 

The arrival of the U.N. seemed to irritate the Nairobi soldiers as then U.N. men were also armed and with better weaponry. While most of the Nairobi soldiers had shotguns, or hand guns, only one or two had automatic rifles. The U.N. troops, hopping out of one of the large trucks, all had automatic rifles and they outnumbered the Nairobi troops two to one. 

"I'm taking these supplies under the U.N. flag," Gavin told the soldier in front of him. "If there is a problem we can call them." Gavin said holding up his satellite phone. 

This was what Pavy's dad had told him to say if there was a problem. It was a semi bluff as the U.N. didn't have authority in Nairobi, but it was also an organization that if crossed could make life for the soldiers and the corrupt politicians difficult if they became interested in the happenings of their country. So for the most part, soldiers knew not to mess with anything related to the U.N. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 31



"No," the soldier said. "Your papers are in order." The man said gruffly, he then barked at the soldiers that were standing around watching. They climbed into the back of a pickup truck and sped off. 

"Dr. Steward?" the young man smiled. "That was about to be really hairy!" The man said with a thick accent. 

"I gathered!" Gavin smiled shaking the man's hand. "Are you Pavy's representative?" 

"Yes!" the man smiled. "But thankfully, it seems I was unnecessary! My name is Emem." 

"Well Emem," Gavin smiled. "We got a long way to go, so what's next?" 

The U.N. man arrived at Gavin's side. 

"Look, see the gorgeous woman there?" Gavin said to the soldier from the U.N. as he pointed to Alex. "She is the boss, so get with her and figure out how this is to be loaded!" The U.N. man nodded and went to Alex. 

*** 

Gavin and Alex hopped down out of the truck as they watched Emem run off. They were both happy to be out of the trucks! What they called roads were areas just free of jungle! The holes from the rainy season were the size of Alex's old Rabbit and with each bone jarring jolt, they would crash into one another. After a day and a half of that, they felt like they had been in the octagon with Ronda Rousey. 

"It's hot," Gavin gasped. 

"Hey, it's the fall season here," Alex reminded. We are in the southern Hemisphere, so when it's spring in Chicago, its fall here." 

"Hey, I don't care what season you say it is, its hot!" Gavin complained with a playful smile. 

"That's why I bought these shorts," Alex said modeling them for them. 

Turning a full circle on her toes, they barely covered the place Gavin loved, and that was the sole reason for her buying them. If she stood just right, or bent just right, she could make that area visible. Bringing a groan from Gavin each and every time she did it. Like climbing into the truck this morning as he followed her up. 

"Look," he said with a scowl. "These people haven't seen a girl like you, so let's not give the men with guns any ideas!" 

"A little worried about me?" she smiled kissing him. 

"In those shorts?" Gavin admired. 

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" The voice caused them to turn. 

"Hey Pavy!" Alex smiled. Pavel closed the distance and took her in a hug and spun her in a circle a couple of times happily before setting her down. 

"How did you get him to come?" Pavel asked her, stunned they were there. All the begging and pleading from him over the years could not get Gavin to come here. Now one woman seemed to have Gavin wrapped around her finger. 

"I can get him to do whatever I want," Alex teased. 

"In those shorts?" Pavy chuckled as he stood back and held her arms out so he could look at her fully. "I don't think you are going to have any problems getting anything you want, from anybody!" 

Pavy walked over and took Gavin into and embrace and held him firmly. 

"Dad sent the troops with you I see," Pavy pointed out looking at the blue berets. 

"He was worried about me coming into this little corner of paradise of yours," Gavin teased. 

"Fucker," Pavy laughed as he let out a soft punch to Gavin's stomach. "I guess we see how I rate!" 

"Somewhere right along with a pebble in a shoe," Gavin joked. "Now, did I fly all this way to discuss why your father likes me better than you, or are there some other pressing problems?" 

"You are going to regret that statement! I was willing to let you take it easy today, but now...I'm fucking going to run you ragged!" Pavy threatened as he turned and put his arm around Alex's shoulder and jerked his head for Gavin to follow them as he walked with Alex within his arm. 

Gavin and Alex walked into the tent hospital. There were at least fifty people sitting on the ground. 

"Jesus," Gavin gasped in disbelief. It looked like something out of a bad war movie, the smell wasn't much better. The smell of body odor, manure and decaying bodies wafted around them. 

"Welcome to my life," Pavy frowned. "This is the main hospital, we have a couple of tents for those we keep for observation." 

"Is it always this full?" Alex asked him. 

"Unfortunately," he frowned. "Yes. Here lately for sure, as it's just me, so I can't ever get caught up." 

"It's been worse here lately, the more intense the fighting, the more people run," Pavy said with a shake of his head. 

"Well," Gavin shrugged. "Put me to work." 

"Gladly," Pavy smiled with an appreciative clap on his shoulder. 

"Me too," Alex smiled. 

Pavy guided Gavin to a table that already had a woman on it. The bleeding she was doing was already coming through her top. Gavin took a peek under her makeshift bandaged and frowned. 

"Not what you see back in Chicago, is it?" Pavy noted Gavin's disproval of the wound. 

"No," Gavin agreed. 

"This is Luanna," Pavy said introducing a woman in scrubs. "She is an excellent nurse, I'll have her assist you." Gavin nodded as he pulled a tray of instruments over, already fully engrossed in the job at hand. This had Pavy winking at Alex, they both loved that, when Gavin would switch modes. 

"Luanna, this is Gavin Steward," Pavy said with a proud hand on his shoulder. "The best doctor I know. Make sure you take care of him." She nodded. 

"Pavy," Alex said to him. "Where do you want me?" 

He looked to her and cringed. 

"I hate to do this to you," he frowned. "But I don't have time to deal with what you just brought in, which by the number of trucks alone is more than I get in two years! So, if you could, organize it and put it in the store room?" 

"Ok," Alex nodded as she looked at all the sorrowful faces in the room. She felt so sorry for them, they seemed lost. Their spirit broken. 

"Emem," Pavy called out, the young man rushed over. "Take Alex here and help her with the store room. Give her any helps she needs." He nodded. "When this is all over, and I get a chance to breathe, remind me to thank you." 

"You don't need to," Alex smiled stroking his cheek. 

"Yes, yes I do!" Pavy said firmly, there was a slight tearing up in his eyes as the appreciation of all she had done overwhelmed him. He left to go back to work. Alex looked to Gavin and he winked at her. She stretched to her tiptoes and kissed his cheek and followed Emem out of the tent. 

"This is our store room," Emem said opening the door. 

"Why is this is an actual building, but the hospital is a tent?" Alex asked him looking at the empty shelves. 

"We had to construct a building we could lock," Emem explained. "Otherwise thieves would come in the night and steal our supplies." Alex nodded that she understood as she walked to the end of the building and found more emptiness than supplies. 

"Where do you want to start?" he asked her when she stopped and looked to him with a frown of her opinion of the lack of things they had. 

"Well," Alex shrugged. "Why don't you give me the inventory sheet for what you have here so we can do an accurate count, that way Pavy knows exactly what he has in terms of supplies?" 

"Inventory?" Emem asked. "We have never done an inventory." 

"Ok, how about some paper," Alex asked him. "We will start one. That way he can look at a detailed list of his supplies later." Emem disappeared and returned with paper and a clipboard. 

"Well," she frowned not sure of how to start this, as this was never something she would have even thought she would have to do. "It should be easy to count what we have on hand, as there is so little of it, so let's start with a count of that. Then as we bring something in, we will write it down and add it to the list." Emem nodded and went to the first shelf. 

"Just call out what you have, then the number on hand," Alex said tying her hair up into a tight pony tail. The two began the tedious job of getting the store room in order. The heat of which already had her sweating through her tank top. The air unable to move around the enclosed room. 

It took them a little less than an hour to organize and count what they had on hand, and it wasn't much. Then Alex organized the U.N. troops to start bringing in the supplies from the convoy of trucks in the compound. As each soldier would bring in a box he or she would stop and Alex would write on it with bold black marker what it was and what shelf she had assigned for it, they would then take it to Emem, who would store it. 

It took nearly six hours to completely empty the trucks and store everything. By the time they were done, Alex was exhausted and had sweated through her tank completely and now had rivers of sweat running down her legs and dripping onto the ground. 

Standing at the door with Emem, they looked at the store room one last time. Now they had full shelves, with boxes on top of boxes. She even had to start stacking supplies against the back wall as she ran out of room on the shelves. Pavy would be thrilled as anything he could want or need, was now on hand. 

*** 

Alex went back to the main tent and found Gavin hard at work, but the smile he had was impossible to miss. Yes there were horrific injuries to deal with. Yes most of the wounded were children and women who had no business with the wounds they had, but it was obvious that Gavin felt some pride to be doing actual good for a change. Not dealing with what he believed were self-indulgent wounds of ego. He was back to doing what he went into medicine for in the beginning. 

Alex pulled up next to Luanna and began to observe how she worked with Gavin to help him. Luanna explained the instruments and covered the supplies Gavin was using, refreshing Alex's memory from the plane. 

Pavy would walk by on occasion and kiss her on the cheek, only to keep Gavin riled up. Walking up to the next table had a young woman, who appeared in her late teens or early twenties, not much younger than Alex, she surmised. She had a crying toddler in her lap, who appeared injury free, but the mother had blood down the side of her face from her head wound. 

The child was keeping Gavin from helping her. Alex came to his side and looked to the woman and pointed to the toddler and then to herself, but the woman shook her head apprehensively. 

The interpreter came and explained to the woman that Gavin wanted to treat her but with the child in her arms that was going to be difficult. Alex sat on the table next to the woman and gently pulled the toddler. 

The woman reluctantly allowed Alex to put the child in her lap. Alex produced a sucker and pulled the wrapper off and placed it in the child's mouth, within seconds the toddler's cries slowed to a sniffle. 

The woman smiled at Alex in thank you, and Alex returned the smile as she rocked the child in her arms. Gavin shook his head, nothing his girl did surprised him totally anymore. She was just able to do anything. Impressed that even without the knowledge of language Alex was about to put the injured mother at ease. He smiled at the injured woman reassuringly and worked on her wound. 

Gavin stitched up the wound and treated the woman for her other injuries she attained during her trek out of the war torn village she fled from. When Gavin was done the woman kissed his hand. 

Gavin then turned his attention to the child in Alex's arms, giving him a cursory look. The child appeared to have no injuries but was suffering from possible malnourishment. He stroked the young boy's face and smiled at the mother as Alex passed him back. The mother took Alex's hand and kissed it as well. 

"That's high praise," Pavy told them as they watched the lady leave. "The kissing of your hands...it means a great deal here." They both nodded. 

"Look," Pavy said exhaustedly. "We have taken care of the most pressing cases, why don't you two call it a day, you look wiped out!" 

They smiled at him, they were tired. The long flight, coupled with days of traveling through the brush in trucks designed to jar your bones from their sockets had left them exhausted. 

"Emem," Pavy called out and the young man appeared. "Take them to Dr. Haus' tent." 

"Dr. Haus?" Gavin asked. 

"Yeah, he had to return to Germany," Pavy frowned. "We are still waiting on his replacement...that is unless I can talk you two love birds into staying?" 

"You know we want to, but we can't," Alex said for Gavin. "But we aren't in any hurry to leave either!" 

"I'll take that," Pavy said kissing her on the cheek. 

"Stop kissing my girl you nasty fiend!" Gavin growled as he pushed the Russian back as the man laughed. 

"Hey," Pavy said moving close. "Have you seen what choices I have around here?" 

"Are you saying you are settling for me?" Alex gasped, pretending to be offended putting Pavy on the defensive. 

"What?" he cried out. "No! I mean...oh shit!" 

"Awww yeah!" Gavin smiled. "This is why you are still single! Can't keep that rat trap of a mouth closed!" 

"Go fuck yourself," Pavy growled as he walked away. 

Emem led them to a tent and let them enter first. It was a large tent, consisting of two rooms, one for a sitting area, and one for sleeping. It had an actual bed, which surprised them. They were expecting cots or perhaps sleeping bags on the ground but this tent had an actual bed and both looked to the other relieved as this was a very welcome sight. 

"Ok," Emem smiled. "This is your place for now. A couple of ground rules...one, if you take your shoes off, be sure to shake them out in the morning! All kinds of nasty critters running around here. They like to climb in boots and shoes, then when you put them on, they can kill you. So look...shake and look again!" 

"I would put them up on the dresser and stuff something in them to keep the creepy crawlies out of it. I have seen people put them in bags as well and tie them off," Emem suggested. 

Alex and Gavin looked at him and the exhaustion was taking over. 

"Good night," Emem smiled recognizing it. "Thank you both for all that you have done, get some sleep and we'll see you in the morning. One last thing..." he pulled a revolver out and held it out to Gavin. Gavin looked to it and then to Emem. 

"You are going to want to take it," Emem said holding it out. They looked to one another then back to him. "It's not for people...it's for the things too big to crawl in your shoe!" He clarified with a laugh. 

It was then and only then that Gavin took the gun from the young man. Emem left them there and they both looked at the gun that he held uncomfortably in his hand. 

"Have you ever used one of these?" Gavin asked her. She shook her head. 

"You?" she asked him. 

"I have had some target practice, but it's been years," Gavin frowned not liking the heavy piece of metal in his hands. 

Alex remembered back to Pavy's story of the two of them running from drug infested house to drug infested house looking for Carla. They had to take a gun with them for fear of their safety. She wondered after Carla's death if Gavin had touched a gun since. 

They eased into the bed, and cuddled close to one another, the fan on the stand blowing gently across their bodies. Gavin's arm was over Alex protectively, they were both asleep in a matter of minutes. Exhaustion claiming them, but they were both happy. Gavin with the knowledge he was doing what he went into medicine for. And Alex with the knowledge that she had the true Gavin.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 32



Chapter 38 

Alex awoke the next morning and turned over. She wasn't surprised when Gavin wasn't there. Still, it would have been nice she decided. She attempted to get up and found that her body didn't want to. It was angry after all the hard work done yesterday. The pounding and bouncing in the trucks over what they called roads around here. The carrying of boxes into the store room. Standing on her feet for hours both in the store room, and in the hospital afterwards. 

Her calves hurt and cramped during the night from dehydration, something Gavin warned her about. The cramping reminded her of her mural for the Expo, the nights of cramps in her legs that kept her from sleeping. She found a bottle of water on the table next to the bed and drank from it thirstily, but the damage was done as her calves hurt, as did her feet! 

Sliding her legs out she winced as she put her feet to the floor, her calves warning her with their twitching she had better take it easy at first, or she would pay dearly. She stretched her back as she stood, her bones popping as she did. The popping one right after another, seemingly never ending. Each a painful but sweet feeling, the pain of the pop. The sweetness of the relief afterwards. 

"Holy shit!" she gasped as she stretched her hands above her head. She then bent at the waist and let her body hang as she stretched out. The muscles in her back groaning as they stretched, as did her hamstrings on the back of her legs. 

"Wow!" his voice made her eyes open as she looked between her legs and smiled at him. "It sounded like you were popping popcorn in here!" Gavin teased at the noise her body was making. 

She stood and turned to him, he gently took her into his arms and kissed her. 

"I'm sore," she admitted with a smile. 

"I'm with you," he agreed with a firm nod. "Pavy needs us, we got a new batch of refugees about an hour ago." She nodded and began to put her hair back up in the pony tail as she trailed behind him from the tent. 

She followed him into the hospital and now there were over 80 people waiting. She frowned. This was too much. How can the rest of the world sit idly by and do nothing? 

These people were getting pummeled with sadness and doom. Pain and death, and she knew that there were people in the United States that were more worried that their basketball team just lost their best player to a twisted ankle. 

Really? People are dying here and they think their basketball team is killing them? Come here, your perspective on life changes the moment you look into one of these people's faces. The moment you see the devastation. The moment you see the sadness, the total loss on the faces of the people that came into this tent. Gavin walked to an elderly man who had that look of utter desolation on his face. 

Gavin began treating the man's wounds as Alex assisted. She struggled at first, her fatigue keeping her memory from being used effectively. Soon her brain caught up and they were flowing seamlessly together. 

They moved from patient to patient. Alex trying her best to keep the sadness emanating from the wounded from infecting her. She tried to smile reassuringly at them when they looked to her. A smile of comfort. She hoped it was getting through. 

"Alex," Pavy interrupted hours later. "I want you to start giving the kids inoculations." 

"I can't do that!" Alex protested. "I'm not a doctor or a nurse!" 

"Do you think these people care?" Pavy smiled with a slight shake of his head to answer for her. "Look, Gavin will show you where to inject, it really is no big deal. Just do what you've been doing. You are very calming, so just continue to do that. These people need that more than all the medicine we can provide. Your smile lets them know the worst is behind them." 

Alex looked to Gavin who winked at her. 

"You'll be just fine," Gavin assured her with a quick kiss. 

Gavin took her over to a corner of the tent. A small table had been set up for kids to sit on allowing her to inject them. Emem came over and he would assist her, as he had been doing since they arrived. 

Gavin assured her that he would be a few feet away if she needed him and that was comforting. Gavin injected the first couple of kids. Alex was surprised when they were so brave, they didn't cry out a great deal. Then again, most of them were numb from their panicked retreat from where they called home. After getting shot at, or watching family members get slaughtered or maimed in front of you, what's a small needle? 

Yes they cried but they didn't have the response she thought they would have. They didn't have all the apprehension she had witnessed with Nora a few years back when she went with Livy to get her inoculations for pre-school. 

Gavin then stood nearby as Alex delivered her first inoculation. Her hand shook the entire time and the kid cried out and looked to her, the child's eyes spoke of betrayal but she made up for it with a sucker. Once the sweet treat hit the tongue on the child, the expression changed. It went from betrayal to that of awe. The pain melting away along with the sucker. 

After Gavin watched for a few kids and Alex had no problem he slipped away without her knowledge. When she looked up after a few minutes she noticed he was working on his own patients while she treated the kids. All enjoyed her candy. All enjoyed her reassuring smile, her reassuring voice as she whispered to them they were going to be alright. 

First in English, which they didn't understand the words, but they understood the tone. Then Emem taught her the words in their native tongue and dialect. She began to speak only in their Swahili, asking them to be still, then comforting them after the sharp pain of the injection. 

Mothers would look upon her and smile at her gentleness. More than one took her hand and thanked her with a kiss there. She remembered Pavy saying that was a compliment. High praise. 

The look on the mother's face told her he wasn't lying. They looked to her like she was saving their child's life. But she was only giving them a shot. Then she remembered. In America, we take our inoculations for granted. 

In this war torn corner of Hell, they may hear of people getting the lifesaving shots but not have access to them. Now they were watching their own child get the shots that would save their lives from some diseases that were prevalent there. Prevalent but preventable, with the proper inoculations. It was as if Alex was saving their lives with magic. 

Alex knew these kids had enough things here trying to kill them, they shouldn't have to worry about diseases that the rest of the world had eradicated through systematic immunizations not available to them. 

"They may have never had one," Emem pointed out after she marveled one child looking at her as if she was some sort of angel after tasting the sweet treat she gave them with her megawatt smile. 

"A sucker?" Alex asked him as she stared at the small girl while stroking her face lovingly. He nodded. That blew her away. No candy? How spoiled she was living in America. There were a lot of things she was encountering here that made her appreciate what she had in America. There were a lot of things she took for granted there that she would not now. Not after seeing what the rest of the world was dealing with. 

Simple things, like roads. Paved roads to be specific. The fact that there were plenty of medicines available. Plenty of doctors, doctors you didn't have to walk a day to get to. Public transportation. She thought of the food she wasted, people here would go all day without eating. Candy? Would she ever look at a simple sucker again without thinking of the look each child gave her when they tasted the colorful treat? 

As they went, Emem would prepare the needles, Alex would prepare the child then inoculate them. The child would cry, then Alex would produce a colorful piece of candy, the crying would soften. Then when the sweet taste of the treat hit, the crying would stop all together. On and on it went. Child after child. Hour after hour. Shot after shot. Sucker after sucker. Smile after gentle smile. 

By the time she realized it, night had fallen and the tent was empty. Gavin and Pavy sat on a table just off to the side and watched her work. She didn't know how long they were watching her but when she turned the two men smiled to one another. 

"Well Gavin," Pavy exhaled deeply. "I don't know about you, but your little angel there could give me a shot any day!" 

"She is quite fantastic, isn't she?" Gavin smiled as he hopped off the table. 

"Can I have a sucker?" Pavy asked her as he followed Gavin off the table. 

"Sure," Alex shrugged. She picked up a needle and held it up. Pavy stopped his advance on her. 

"What's with the needle?" he asked her. 

"That's the cost," she told him with a firm voice. "One shot, one sucker." 

"I don't need an inoculation!" he told her. 

"Then you don't need a sucker!" she laughed. She rolled her eyes then tossed him one as he pouted. 

"Thanks," he said popping the sucker in his mouth. "You were a big help today!" 

"Yeah," Alex rolled her eyes. "Kids now know I'm mean and cause pain!" 

"No," Pavy argued. "Now the people of this country know you care about them enough to protect their kids when nobody else will!" 

This caused her to suck in a breath and it became trapped within her, not allowing her to let it escape from her lips as she thought about that statement fully. 

Entering the tent again they shuffled their exhausted feet as Gavin made sure the tent was securely closed to keep the insects on the outside. In their short time here they had encounter insects that bit and stung that were the size of small birds it seemed. Like they were from some cheesy B-horror flick. To avoid those same monsters from getting into the tent while they slept, he made sure the tent was properly closed. 

"Get undressed," he said firmly. She smiled wickedly as she took her clothes off. He watched her with a soft smile. 

"In bed," he ordered. She complied, slowly entering on all fours, leaving her backside towards him, causing him to groan in approval. "Be nice, or I won't be." 

"Yes Sir," she said over her shoulder at him. 

"On your stomach," he said pulling a chair close. She laid flat. He began to massage her sore muscles causing her to gasp. His fingers kneading away the knots her body had accumulated over the past days. 

"How many people do you think you worked on today?" she asked him dreamily as he worked her exhausted muscles. 

"I have no idea," he smiled. "Hundreds, like maybe two or three hundred." 

"Wow," she whispered as she cooed when he hit a sore spot and he stayed there until he worked it away. 

"I know," he said moving on. "I would be happy if it wasn't for the reason they were coming to us!" 

"I know," Alex frowned. "The horror in their eyes!" Gavin nodded as he worked her legs causing her to moan slightly as he worked her. 

"You were absolutely fantastic today," he told her. She looked back at him. 

"Thank you," she smiled. "You were an excellent teacher!" 

"No," he shook his head. "You have the inherent ability to help people. I know because you helped me and I was beyond help!" 

"You are beyond description, words from poets could not encapsulate you," he said as his fingers brushed against her sex causing her to hold her breath. 

She was exhausted but his mere touch set her ablaze instantly. She hadn't thought about sex, her fatigue weighing on her. When he said to get undressed her first thought was she was too tired. But his hands on her energized her. It was like they were able to find a hidden power source within her and now her sexual motor had a full charge. 

He continued to work her sore muscles and soon her body was relaxed. It was still slightly sore but he managed to take her pain lever from an 8 to a 2 in the hour he massaged her. She didn't realize it was an hour until she looked up at the clock. 

"Sir?" she whispered. 

"Yes?" 

"May I return the favor?" she asked turning over. 

"It isn't necessary," he assured her. 

"You are necessary," she said firmly moving into the submissive position on the bed. Her soft breasts lightly illuminated in the lantern light. The soft shadows of her body falling about her exotically. Her mere positioning causing the desire for her to engulf him in flames of love and lust. 

"So your needs are very necessary to me," she said moving back so he could sit on the bed. He stood and began to pull at the buttons on his shirt, she lifted onto her knees and pushed away his hands as they attempted to unbutton the soft Columbia shirt he was wearing. The soft silky feel of the material felt good on her fingers. 

She found her fingers sore from all the injections today. He recognized it immediately and stopped her fingers after she pushed his shirt off of him and onto the floor. She looked up at him, his eyes locked onto her hands as he began to massage them. Her palms first, then outward to the tips of her fingers. He took another 30 minutes to massage just her hands. He had her digits singing his praises before he was done. 

She then went back to work on him, unbuttoning his shorts and giving them a gentle tug to pull them from his waist. His underwear was next, a soft tug as his boxer briefs hung to his semi hard manhood. That pleased her, she made him hard just by letting him massage her. It showed he loved touching her as much as she loved having him touch her...still. After more than a year, their touching one another still excited them. 

Alex had expected some falloff, some diminishing of their desire for one another. She figured that after the newness of their relationship had faded they would not be as eager. That had proven to be false. Unlike her other relationships, this fire never seemed to ebb. It stoked anytime he was near, it smoldered when he wasn't, but it wasn't far off from exploding into a raging inferno. 

She let her fingers run down the shaft of his cock, her fingers brushing hot shaft lightly. She leaned forward but he stopped her with his hands on her shoulders. 

"Don't," he warned softly. "I have not been able to freshen up today." She looked up at him, her hand still gripping his shaft as it pulsed in her hand. 

"I'm all sweaty," he explained. 

"I don't care," she told him. "I want your taste. Yours. Your sweat. Your scent. You!" She lowered her mouth to his cock when he let go of her shoulders. 

His musky, sweaty smell filled her nose. It wasn't his cologne, which had long since faded. It wasn't his body wash, as he hadn't had time to bathe in two days. It was him. His sweat taste filled her mouth. It was different in taste than him normally. Back home she would taste his soap, his cologne and then him. Now it was just him! She reveled in that. Gavin au natural! 

She took him deeply, his cock hardening while in her mouth. She just held it with her lips at the base, her tongue supporting it from underneath. The head at the back of her tongue. It's heavy feel holding her tongue down. Her hands gripping his ass, pulling him into her mouth as far as she could take him. 

She let one hand gently cup his heavy balls while she held him in her mouth. Neither moving. They were connected, his sex to her mouth. Her other hand then traveled from his ass, up his chiseled body. Her fingers walking up his chest to his mouth and he captured it in his mouth and he held it prisoner, much like she was doing is manhood. 

"Reluctantly," she whispered as she released his cock. "But I want to take care of your muscles." 

"Well," he grinned as he opened his eyes. "You had the muscle I was concerned about!" 

She moved back and he turned and sat down, his back nestled softly against her warm body. Her nipples hard, poking him in the back, he could feel the rubbery rock hard feel as she rubbed them gently up and down his shoulder blades while she moved her hands over his shoulders and massaged his chest from behind. Relishing the feel of their skin on skin contact. 

Her fingers moving up and over his neck to his temples. Massaging there then working slowly down. Her thumbs on the back of his neck, pushing his skin from the spine outward to his outer neck. Then moving lower before repeating. Then lower. Repeat. Lower. Repeat. 

Her hands gripping his shoulders next, massaging firmly as she moved towards his outer arm. Then back across the upper shoulders her hands went. Slowly. Meticulously. Matching the attention he had just shown her. 

He leaned forward, allowing her to use the heel of her hand to press on him in her massage. Her lips moving in as well while she did, running her lips across his body while her hands worked him. Now she could continue to taste him, the only taste she could not live without. 

She felt his hand snake back between her knees on the bed, his palm up as his fingers found her wet sex. The tips of his magnificently talented fingers gently sending bolts of energy though her clit as he massaged it. His fingers never fully dipping into her, more just rubbing the outer lips, maybe drifting in just enough to push her lips outward. 

The sound of which filled their ears as her wetness was audible under his touch. She gasped while she gently bit into his tasty flesh, drawing a smile from his mouth. She nibbled on his earlobe as he fingered her there in the submissive position, straddling him from behind. 

Her hand slipped around his midsection and took hold of his cock from behind with a firm grip. She began to stroke him with the same speed in which he was working her. Slowly at first, but as her body responded he sped up and she matched his speed with her hand. Her grip tightening as she pulled on him. 

When her body stiffened from her orgasm she bit into his shoulder harder, while her hand choked his cock. She froze but he continued to make her body respond to his hands like a marionette master. His gentle touches making her body twitch and move like she was on strings. 

When her body descended from its heavenly perch, with her cum leaking from her body she began to stroke him again. He turned slightly and pulled her around him to sit in his lap. He slid into her instantly, her hot, wet sex gobbling up his cock greedily. 

She wrapped her legs around his back as her hands wrapped around his head, her fingers filling with his hair while her mouth took his ear back into her lips. Her sex warmly grasping his hot shaft within her, causing her body to twitch as he filled her. 

His hands cupped her ass, one hand per firm cheek, holding her tightly to his body at first, enjoying the lava like feel of her sex. It was hot, wet and sticky, like the air of the land that surrounded them. But where that heat was displeasing, her heat was highly pleasurable, setting him on fire from his shaft out. He just held her there, his lips nipping at her nipples. Causing them to harden even more as blood rushed to the sensitive tips. 

After a few moments, which seemed like heavenly hours to her. He began to use his grip to lift and pull her to him. His cock gently moving in and out of her. The feel of his steely hardness spreading her lips, causing her to leak out around the edges when she came again. This time forcing her to toss her head back and letting the moan escape her lips because she didn't want to contain it any longer. She didn't care who heard her in her pleasurable rapture. Let whoever heard know that she was being pleased by a man who knew how to please! 

The quickness of his lifting and pulling, along with the fact he was squeezing her cheeks in his hand harder let her know he was building. 

"Oh Sir," she gasped in his ear with heavy breath. Her lips never leaving his lobe. "Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!" Each demand spurring him along, making his body work as she felt his hips rock into her now because his hands alone weren't pulling hard enough or fast enough. His hips wanted to play too. Drawing each other's bodies into one another with a soft clap, clap, clap. A gentle applause for their lovemaking. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 32



He began to bite and suckle her breast while he held her body tightly to his, his grip causing the flesh in her backside to whiten under his fingertips as he erupted and filled her hot steamy sex with his molten seed. 

She could feel his cock buck within her, the subtle jerk of his manhood spurting shot after shot deep within her. Pulsating with his heartbeat that also beat against his rib cage and she could feel it beat through her skin in her breast as she pulled him tighter to her. 

They just held each other there, both squeezing the other tightly to them. He marking her with his mouth. Alex holding his earlobe while she cooed happily into his ear. Letting him know of her satisfaction as he marked her with her 'good girl' mark for the night. Something she would look on tomorrow with pride. 

They stayed there, neither wanting to release the other as his cum leaked out around his shaft and from within her depths, to drip to the floor under them. The soft sounds of its landing under them letting them know he came a lot. 

She released his ear and laid her cheek on his shoulder. For the first time in her life, she asked for a baby. She didn't just think it would be nice, like she did on the island. She prayed to God for one. 

She wanted to feel Gavin's child grow within her. To watch the look on his face as he took care of her in ways she hadn't been taken care of before. To think of the ways he took care of her now but she knew that would amplify with the knowledge she was carrying his child. The pride that would fill her as she was giving him something he dreamed of when he was willing to admit it to himself. 

She wanted it now. A baby. Not just any baby, but Gavin's baby. Their baby. Soon. She would broach the subject of going off her birth control once they were back in the States. She hoped he would be receptive to the idea. 

*** 

Gavin and Alex came out of the tent the next morning and found Pavy not in the hospital. There was no one there. They left and found Pavy in the food tent. 

"No patients?" Gavin asked him. 

"The fighting shifted," Pavy shrugged. "Don't worry, I still need you." 

"No," Gavin laughed. "I wasn't worried about that! You couldn't make it tying your shoes without me, so no, I know you will always need me." 

For the first time since they arrived, Gavin and Alex were able to sit down with Pavy and enjoy a conversation. To enjoy a joke or two. To enjoy getting to know the other staff members. 

Pavy took them out onto the savanna. Alex got a look at her first elephant, not in an enclosure at the Brookfield Zoo. It was a few hundred yards away from her. She stood there while Gavin took a picture with the elephant in the background. 

They drove slowly in their open topped jeep, stopping from time to time to witness a free animal, not a zoo kept animal. For some reason it was more awe inspiring this way. An animal in its natural habitat. Cheetahs, rhinos, elephants and hyenas all made their appearances. Alex had pictures taken of each one. 

Pavy turned into the photographer and he was quite good. Gavin and Alex would pose in the foreground and the animal in the background. Alex loved them, rotating through them on the camera, reliving each shot. 

The lion pride was the most profound. The one male laying leisurely in the shade of a single tree in the middle of the savannah. His lionesses about him like a harem. They watched from a distance, she was amazed that they paid the human visitors little attention. Pavy said it was because they were the top of the food chain in the savannah. Even with the humans they did not concern themselves with things they didn't feel a threat from. 

It didn't mean Pavy didn't keep his high powered rifle handy. Just in case. 

"He looks like a Dom," Alex whispered into Gavin's ear. "He looks like you." Gavin shook his head with a chuckle. 

"Do you need a harem of lionesses?" Alex teased. 

"I don't share," he reminded. 

"Hmm," Alex nodded. "But I seem to get my way with you...perhaps I want another woman to come in to help me please you." 

"You please me just fine," Gavin scowled. "Don't." 

"I won't," Alex assured with a roll of her eyes. 

They got back to camp about midday and Gavin and Alex had thought about a nap, Emem rushing to them told them that was not going to happen. 

"Hey," he said as they got out of the jeep. "Big problem." 

"What's up?" Pavy asked. He looked to the group of visitors in camp looking at them. 

"The Azande tribe nearby was attacked a couple nights back," Emem explained. "One of the children was injured. Their medicine hasn't worked, the child has fallen asleep and won't wake." 

"Alive?" Gavin asked. 

"They said he is, just that he won't wake," Emem shrugged. 

Gavin gathered his medical bag and began to leave with Emem. He stopped when Alex fell into line. 

"Where are you going?" he asked her. 

"With you," she said firmly. 

"No, you are staying here with Pavy," he said just as firmly. 

"I can inoculate the children there," Alex told him. "Pavy said they won't come here as they don't trust him because he is an outsider, but the fact that they came to us says they are desperate, hopefully we can do some good and they will begin to trust Pavy and that will make saving the children easier!" 

"What happens if I fail," Gavin pointed out firmly. "Not exactly going to endear us to them." 

"You don't think they would punish you for that, do you?" she asked him in a gasp. 

"I don't know," he shrugged. "But there is no way in hell I'm going to let you find out first hand." 

"No," she said firmly as he turned and began to leave. "You go, I go. That was the rule you set up on the plane. Remember? When I asked if I could look around while you worked?" 

"I meant that you couldn't wander off, not that I couldn't go off," Gavin told her. 

"You know for a man who chooses his words carefully, you sure do suck at it sometimes," Alex shook her head. "You said...you go, I go. I'm fucking holding you to it! Let's go!" she growled. He stared at her for a few seconds angrily. 

"Gavin," Pavy said. "They have never threatened us, they know we aren't the enemy, she will be fine." 

"Un-fucking believable! This shit isn't over by a long shot young lady!" Gavin barked. He stomped his way towards where the tribe messenger was waiting. 

"Well, you got him wound up," Pavy warned. 

"Isn't the first time, won't be the last," Alex frowned. She wanted to be submissive, but he should have known there was no way he was going to leave her behind. 

They walked for two hours before coming to the village. The people looked upon them with wary suspicion. They were taken to the tribal leader's home. Emem and the tribal leader talked back and forth, sometimes angrily, sometimes softly but always quickly. Their words firing back and forth like machine guns. It was rapid and a short burst of words. 

"Well," Emem said coming to Gavin and Alex. "They were out hunting when the soldiers came. The boy is his son and next in line to lead, he was protecting a woman from a soldier who was attempting to rape her." 

"Oh my God," Alex gasped as she closed her eyes at the horror of it. 

"The boy was struck in the head with a rifle butt," Emem continued. They said he was awake for a few hours after the attack, but fell asleep and hasn't woken in two days. 

"Will he let me look at the boy?" Gavin asked. 

"He's leery," Emem pointed out. 

"Tell him, his son is probably suffering a subdural hematoma, which is bleeding on the brain. If not treated he will probably die," Gavin explained what he thought it was just based on the injury reported. 

"Do you know that for a fact?" Alex asked him when Emem left to talk to the leader again. 

"No," Gavin frowned. "That would take a CT scan...which they don't have! But the symptomology is right." 

"How do you treat it?" Alex asked him. 

"I will have to drill a hole to relieve the pressure of the bleeding," Gavin explained. 

"You are going to drill a hole in his head?" Alex gasped. 

"Just in his skull," Gavin corrected. "It will release the blood that is trapped between the skull bone and the brain. The bruise will heal and the boy will recover. If the pressure isn't released...he will die." 

"Oh my God Gavin that sounds complicated!" Alex argued. "With no medical equipment? No hospital?" 

"They have been doing this procedure for hundreds of years," Gavin assured her. "No hospitals." She slid her hand into his and he squeezed it. 

"How long will it take?" she asked. 

"The procedure? A few minutes. But we won't be able to leave for a couple of days, not until he wakes up," Gavin explained. "He will need to be closely monitored." 

"Ok," Alex nodded. "That will give me time to inoculate the children of this village." 

Emem returned and led Gavin and Alex back to the boy with the village leader showing them the way. 

"Tell him exactly what I say," Gavin told Emem after examining the boy. "Tell him I need to put a hole here." Gavin said showing where he would drill the hole. "It will release the pressure and the boy should wake up in a day or two." 

Emem explained and the Chief looked to Gavin sternly as he thought about it. 

"Tell him if I don't do this, he dies," Gavin repeated staring at the Chief. "If I do it, he lives." Emem translated. The leader looked to Gavin then spoke to him directly, not to Emem even though he knew Gavin couldn't understand him, whatever he said it was meant to be serious. It was meant to be said man to man, not through an interpreter. 

"He asks if you are willing to wager your life on it," Emem said softly. Gavin never broke eye contact but gave a single nod. The leader then gave a single nod back, giving his consent. 

"Are you out of your mind?" Emem asked as the tribal leader left them. 

"Look, this is the only way we save him," Gavin explained as he prepared his tools and then the boy. "If we save him, Pavy's life becomes easier." 

"And if you don't?" Emem asked. 

"Make sure Alex is protected," Gavin said softly not wanting to think about failing. 

Alex and Emem watched Gavin work. As did the medicine man of the village, as did several elders who were fascinated. It took Gavin the better part of an hour to complete the procedure. He was thankful he wouldn't have to remove the skull piece entirely. That would make the procedure much more complex. 

Wrapping the boys head in gauze Gavin nodded to Alex they were done. 

"Is he going to be ok?" Alex asked him. 

"Should be," Gavin nodded. "It may take a couple days for the pressure to release, I will keep him on a pain killer which may make him drowsy, but I would expect him to be awake tomorrow, which will make sure we live another day." 

"Not funny," Alex pointed out. 

"It seems complex, but really, this is routine. The procedure isn't difficult. It's the primitive conditions here that bother me," Gavin explained. "Infection is our biggest worry now." 

Alex watched him from the corner of the room that night, she was propped up in the corner while Gavin sat near the boy. He would check him from time to time. She knew he wouldn't get any sleep tonight. Not that he was sleeping much anyway. She drifted off just watching him. 

The soft chatter of voices woke her the next morning. Emem was smiling as he talked to the village leader. 

"How is he?" Alex asked sleepily. 

"He opened his eyes," Gavin smiled. "He is still recovering but it's a marked improvement." 

"That's fantastic!" Alex beamed. 

The village leader patted Gavin on the shoulder. 

"Well, that's a good sign," Gavin shrugged with a smile. 

"Emem," Alex called out as she stood. "Ask him if he will let us inoculate now. He wasn't receptive yesterday but now he should know we are trying to help." 

The boy's mother came to her and hugged her warmly. Alex shook her head, she had nothing to do with it, but the woman still hugged her. Emem translated and the man seemed hesitant still. His wife, one of many, growled something at him and then he looked to Alex and nodded at her. 

Alex then thanked him, in his native tongue, which made him smile as he left. The rest of the day Emem and Alex would immunize the children of the village, while Gavin kept tabs on the boy. 

Alex and Emem stepped out into the bright, hot African heat. It was supposed to be springtime in Chicago, with its March unpredictability. Rain and sometimes cold days and nights. Here in Africa, it was fall, but even the fall temperatures would hover in the 80's, sometimes higher. Today it was upper eighties. With the sun beating down on them as well, the upper 80's would feel more like 90's. 

"Emem," Alex said looking around. "We need to be thorough. I want all the kids inoculated properly." 

"Ok," he agreed with a nod. 

"Let's set up over there," Alex said pointing to a tree. "The shade will keep us cooler." 

"Sounds good," Emem agreed. 

They walked over towards the tree. Emem brought a chair over with him as they went. There were curious onlookers who followed them over at a safe distance. Interested in the two strangers in their village. The mother of the boy Gavin was taking care of went over to them after they set up. 

"Emem?" Alex asked drawing his eyes to her. "See if she will help us with the other mothers. They will not trust us, but perhaps they will trust her." 

Emem spoke to the woman, she looked to Alex from time to time. Emem explained the benefits of the shots. She nodded with a smile. She then looked to Alex and asked her a question. Alex looked to Emem for a translation. 

"She wants to know if your child has had these shots," Emem said to her. 

"Tell her God has not blessed me with a child yet," Alex said softly. "But my child will have these shots." Emem translated and the woman said something to Alex that of course she didn't understand and walked to her and put her hand on Alex's stomach. She spoke some words with her eyes closed. Alex looked to Emem with a curiosity in her smile. 

"She is the daughter of a witch doctor, she is giving you a fertility blessing," Emem smiled. "She said she read your desire for a child in your eyes, she wanted to thank you for all your help. Consider it a gift." Alex thanked her, again in her limited Swahili, but the woman smiled that Alex made the effort. 

Emem and the mother gathered the village around the tree. Emem explained what they were doing and why. Many looked on Alex suspiciously. A question was asked and Alex looked to Emem. 

"They want to know if it will hurt," Emem frowned. 

"Tell them it will feel like a bee sting," Alex said. "But, it will keep them from getting the diseases that kill children before they become adults." 

Emem translated, which led to more questions. 

"They want to know what diseases," Emem said to her. 

"Tell them we are giving them shots for malaria and Diarrhoeal disease. We are also trying to fight of some respiratory infections...I mean breathing infections, as well as some parasites they can't see but is in the water they drink." 

Emem translated and they looked to one another skeptically. 

"Emem, warn them that over 760,000 children die from diseases we can prevent with these shots," Alex said recognizing the doubt. "They all have seen children die, we can help. We want to help." Emem spoke and they whispered softly. 

"I told them whole villages of children have died from diseases we can stop, right now the lady speaking is telling of a village from her youth where the entire village had no children live to five summers," Emem told her. Emem broke out in laughter which had Alex turning her eyes to him. 

"They wonder if you are Ture," Emem laughed covering his mouth. Alex's eyes told him to explain. "In their culture, Ture is a mischievous trickster. Typically one who goes against the norm. If I remember right, you have a similar character in your culture." Emem told her thinking back. 

"The missionary that came to my village as a boy equated our Ture with your Br'er rabbit from Uncle Remus stories of your South," he explained with a furrowed brow trying to make sure he told her right. 

"Oh God, if they only knew!" Alex laughed thinking of her lifestyle. 

She recalled the one story she could think of with the Br'er rabbit fable. That of the Br'er rabbit and the Tar Baby. She loved it as a child, so she knew it wasn't an insult to have this story equated to her. It was just they didn't know how to take the beautiful woman in their midst. 

"What shall I tell them?" Emem asked her. 

"Tell them I have a sense of humor, but dying isn't funny. I'm here to make sure their children live long, happy, laughter filled years," Alex said firmly. "With these shots, their children will grow old." Emem translated. They spoke to Emem and he turned. 

"They want to know how you want to do this," Emem smiled. 

"Tell the children, I need a brave volunteer," Alex said relieved. Emem made the request. 

A boy, about nine, took a step forward. Alex smiled at him as his mother stood behind him her hands protectively on his shoulders. Alex waved him over and patted the chair. He looked up to his mother who nodded at him reassuringly and the boy sat. 

Alex knelt in front of him and held his hands. Her white skin enwrapped his dark. 

"Translate for me," Alex said never taking her eyes off the boy. "I'm going to use this needle." She told the boy showing him the needle and waited for Emem to translate. "It will hurt...but only for a second." Emem explained. "Have you ever been stung by a bee?" 

The boy rattle off a long conversation, Emem translated. 

"He said he was once out with friends, they came upon a hive. They dared him to hit it with a rock. He didn't want to look afraid so he struck it with a rock. The bees swarmed, he was stung several times before they were able to get away," Emem laughed. Alex laughed with him. 

"Tell him that was very brave, but very foolish too!" Alex said running her fingers over his face. "Sounds like I'm not the only Ture here!" Alex smiled at him and he smiled back. Emem told him and he nodded with a laugh. 

"This won't hurt like that," she promised. The boy nodded. 

Alex wiped his arm with alcohol, showed the boy the shot and he looked to her with a nod. Alex was quick, the boy winced but didn't call out. Alex covered the injection site when she was done with gauze. She winked at the boy who smiled. 

Reaching into a box she pulled a sucker out for him and held it out. He took it apprehensively and Alex took one out for herself and pulled the wrapper out and put it into her mouth. The boy did the same and the sweetness of the treat caused him to pull it out and look at it. 

Alex then picked up the boys hand and kissed it, showing she was really appreciative of his bravery and help. Following their custom of showing the boy high praise. The boy nodded and hopped off speaking to the group. 

"What did he say?" Alex asked. 

"He said it didn't hurt too bad, and he was willing to get another shot for the candy! He also said you were a beautiful angel." Emem laughed. 

The women and children formed a line and Alex and Emem began working. Each child got a sweet treat and each mother smiled happily that there was no real harm. Alex wished there was some way of showing what these shots could do. But they would have to trust these strangers, and in particular, this Ture. 

Alex walked in tiredly, the sweat causing her shirt to stick to her. She smiled at Gavin as he sat on the bed with the boy who was talking rapidly at Gavin who was nodding along, he wasn't understanding the boy but it didn't matter. The boy was happy to be alive. That was getting through. 

"He's awake!" Alex smiled. 

"And talking like a high pressure salesman!" Gavin teased. "I don't have the first clue what he is saying, but he is happy." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 32



*** 

Gavin and Alex walked out of the village leader's home and stood in the sun the next morning, there was a large group of people making their way towards the village. Alex looked to Gavin to see if he was alarmed, he wasn't. His brow was furrowed but she didn't sense fear, she sensed curiosity. 

"Trouble?" Alex asked him. 

"No," Gavin shook his head. "I don't think so, there are no men in the group." 

"So?" 

"Women don't fight here, this is a patriarchal society," Gavin explained. "Men hunt, fight and make the decisions. If they were here for trouble, there would be no women...it would be all men." 

"What do you think they want?" Alex asked him. 

"I get the feeling," Gavin grinned. "You are going to be very busy today!" 

"More shots?" Alex smiled. Gavin nodded. 

"I think word is getting out about you," Gavin chuckled. 

"I'm just giving shots," Alex shrugged. 

"No, it's the candy I believe," Gavin teased. "That, and your incredible little body and stunning beauty." Gavin smiled taking her into his arms. 

Emem came to them and shrugged at Alex. 

"Guess we are back to work," Emem smiled. 

"Emem, send the messenger back to Pavy have him send more supplies," Gavin told him. "How much vaccine do we have left?" 

"Running low," Emem admitted. 

"Well," Alex sighed. "Send a quick messenger." 

Gavin went with Alex and smiled at her when she attempted to hand him a needle. 

"Oh no," he said with a shake of his head. "I'm assisting you, you know for a fact I'm bad with needles." 

"You are gentle when you want to be," She said narrowing her eyes at him at the memory of her pneumonia shot. 

"No," he shook his head. "You inoculate, I'll examine them for other things." 

"Ok," she nodded. Gavin knelt on the ground and did a cursory search of each child, he then sent the child to sit in the chair for Alex to give him or her their shot. 

They spent the rest of the day giving inoculations. Supplies came by way of jeep which made getting the large number of supplies to them, even though it would take longer by jeep to get back. It was faster to walk back cutting through the trees, but they were glad to have it as none of the three had the energy to walk back. 

*** 

The jeep came to a stop and Alex looked to Gavin tiredly. Pavy came out of the hospital tent with a smile. 

"Need help?" Gavin asked him. 

"Nah," Pavy shook his head. "Sounds like you guys had a great deal of success." 

"We did," Gavin nodded. "The boy will be fine, Alex injected four villages worth of children." 

"Four?" Pavy asked. 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "Word got out, so neighboring villages brought their children over so we could inoculate them." 

"See? You guys are needed here!" Pavy hinted his desire for them to stay. 

Alex looked to Gavin who shook his head. This was a conversations they would be having a great deal of in the future as the time would come for them to leave. Pavy wasn't just going to let them leave without a fight. 

*** 

The days were hectic, Gavin and Pavy worked in the hospital, and another tent was set up for Alex to give injections. They were always busy, word had gotten out that Alex was a person to trust and women brought their kids from miles around for the lifesaving injections. 

At dinner Alex smiled at the men as they came in. Gavin kissed her temple and she closed her eyes at the tenderness. 

"How was your day, Dear?" he laughed. 

"Tiring," Alex admitted. "But rewarding." 

"I know the feeling," Gavin said sitting next to her. 

"Ah," Emem smiled ducking his head into the tent. "There you are Pipi Malaika." Emem said to her. 

"What's up?" Alex turned to look at him. 

"Your day is not done," Emem smiled. "Another fifty people just showed up. They said they have been walking for days to get to you." Alex nodded and stood up. 

"What is a Pipi Malaika?" Gavin asked as Alex seemed to know what it meant but he had no clue. 

"It means 'Candy Angel'," Emem told him. "It seems that is what they are calling her in Swahili." 

"You have your own name?" Gavin gasped. Alex shrugged. 

"I didn't know what it meant, but this morning they kept calling me that, I finally had to ask," Alex said sheepishly. "I guess the suckers are a big hit!" 

"I'm telling you," Pavy said as he sat back. "You guys should just stay here!" 

"Pavy, stop the hard sell," Gavin warned him. "We can't stay." 

"Alex?" Pavy said with a laugh. 

"What did I just say?" Gavin asked him shocked he would go over his head to Alex with him sitting there. He expected it back door style, Pavy trying to get Alex to line up against him so that the two of them could work Gavin over. 

"I'm hoping to have more success with your better half," Pavy told him. "I know she has the power over you." 

"We want to stay," Alex told him. "But Gavin has his practice, I have a sister going through hell. We just can't drop everything and come here. Even though we want to." 

Pavy nodded disappointedly. 

"But it is not a definitive no," Pavy pointed out. Alex rolled her eyes and kissed Gavin. 

"See you later," she whispered in his ear. 

"Want some help?" he offered. 

"No, enjoy your dinner," she smiled. She followed Emem out of the tent. 

*** 

She slipped into the tent later that evening. Gavin sat in the bed reading by lantern. He dropped the book to his side as she came in. She immediately took her clothes off and crawled into bed tiredly. He hooked his arms around her and pulled her tight. 

"You want to stay, don't you?" he asked her as he held her from behind. 

"I do," she whispered after a few moments. "We are doing good here." 

"You could do good anywhere," he told her. 

"Tell me you aren't enjoying what you are doing," she said turning slightly to look at him. 

"I have a practice," he told her. 

"The look on your face when you talk about your practice there and what you are doing here is remarkably different," she warned him. 

"Explain," he demanded. 

"When you talk about there, your face looks more like a man eating a lemon," she told him. "Here? You look like the kids when they get there first taste of my candy." 

"I can't lie," he finally sighed as he nuzzled her neck. "We are doing more good here." 

"Then why should we go back?" she asked him. 

"Because...that is our life," he said into her hair. "You have family and friends. I have Madelyn." 

"I know," she sighed. "But can we come back?" 

"We'll see," he chuckled. He was enjoying making a difference, she knew that as well. 

*** 

Pavy hugged her warmly as they stood next to the jeep. 

"I'm so happy you came," he told her within his grasp. "I can forgive you for bringing the shit head." He joked in reference of Gavin. "Next time you come by yourself and I'll show you how a real man loves you." 

"Back the hell off you piece of shit," Gavin growled pulling them apart. 

"Hey man," Pavy laughed. "In the immortal words of Beyoncé, if you liked it you should have put a ring on it." He took him into an embrace as well. "She needs to know she has options!" 

"She has had quality, you think she is going to slum with you?" Gavin teased breaking the embrace. 

"You two," Alex chastised. 

They were heading to Cape Town today, fighting was keeping them from Nairobi and the replacement doctors came up from South Africa to avoid it. The replacement doctors meant Pavy would have the help he needed and they could return to their life in the States. They would return the same way and catch a commercial airline from the airport in Cape Town. 

The drive was slow and arduous. The bouncing wasn't any fun, as they knew their bodies would punish them later for it. Two days of this, was going to be brutal. There were many stops along the way and the scenery was the only redeeming factor of the drive. It was absolutely breathtaking. Nothing rivaled the beauty of the Dark Continent. Alex spent her time taking pictures to draw later. The bouncing of the jeep was not conducive to drawing, so to help her memory, she took pictures. 

In the morning she found Gavin talking with the driver and they were laughing. When she stepped out they stopped. She furrowed her brow at it. Odd. 

On the road she looked at him. 

"You are up to something," she told him with a frown. 

"I am?" he smiled. Alex rolled her eyes and shook her head. 

"I have a surprise for you," he shrugged. "Something I know you will love." 

"Ok," she said with a smile, she knew better than to ask, he wouldn't tell her until he was ready for her to know. 

She knew drawing any information from him was a waste of time, but she was also sure that anything this man came up with would be pleasing to her. He had an inherent gift of pleasure. Especially when it concerned her. 

Hours later she heard it long before she saw it. 

"What is that?" she asked him. 

"It's called Mosi-oa-tunya," he told her. "Translated it means Smoke that Thunders." 

"That doesn't tell me what it is!" Alex told him. 

"Victoria Falls," Gavin winked at her. "I've always wanted to see it, Pavy says it's beyond words." 

"Oh my God! Yeah! It's like twice as big as Niagara Falls!" Alex gushed. "It's one of the Seven Wonders of the World!" 

"Well, we will be able to check it off our list of things to see!" Gavin said proudly. 

Standing there looking over the magnificence of the falls had them speechless. He put his arms around her and they stood and watched it. 

"Says here, 165 million gallons of water flow over the edge every minute!" Alex marveled looking over the brochure they had picked up. She put her hands on his arms as he stood there. 

"Can you imagine the power of the water at the bottom? That would be incredible!" Alex gushed. "This was an awesome surprise!" 

"I know the feeling," Gavin whispered in her ear as he kissed there. "And this isn't the surprise." 

"What do you mean?" she asked closing her eyes. 

"I feel that type of power every time I look at you," Gavin said softly. "I feel that weight, that power." He pulled her hair to the side and kissed her neck. "Then I feel like I'm drowning trying to be the man you deserve." 

"The things you say," she smiled. 

He turned her and stared into her eyes, the soft blue in them danced as he stared. He looked down and took her hand. She followed his eyes and saw it. A ring. Not just a ring. A huge ring. On her left hand. She sucked in a breath and stood there shaking. Physically shaking. Part fear, part joy and part shock. 

The tears came next, flooding her eyes as she stared at it, afraid to blink to find it all to be a lie her brain was telling her. He had to hold her hand firmly to keep the shaking hand still to push the ring over her knuckle. 

"I've been walking around with this ring for a while now," he told her. "Waiting for the right moment. I didn't want to be cliché and do a dinner and what not. I didn't want to do it on Valentine's Day. I knew God would give me the perfect opportunity...and He did." 

"Alexandria Lasko, I'm asking you...will you marry me?" Gavin asked her. A slight shake in his own voice. 

He looked to her to see the tears flowing down her face, her mouth agape and the shock she was feeling was easily seen. He could see her body shaking as they stood there. She was breathless. 

"Is it too soon?" he asked her about the question. She shook her head quickly. 

"Ok then," he said struggling to breathe himself. "I've never done this before...but I'm pretty sure you have to say something here." 

"I can't breathe," she gasped. Gavin's concern level shot to a record high as he moved closer to her to check her out. 

"Slow," he whispered as he felt her chest. 

She pushed his hand away and jumped into his arms and screamed in joy as the air flooded her lungs. Everybody turned and looked to them as he began laughing, the concern leaving as he realized it was all about the moment. 

"So officially?" he asked her. 

"Absolutely yes!" she screamed happily. "Absolutely...unequivocally yes!" she said again kissing him through her tears. The driver who brought them was busily taking picture of the joyous moment. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 33



Chapter 39 

"Good afternoon," the desk clerk said to them as they approached. "Welcome to the 2 inn 1, Kinsington." 

"Good afternoon," Gavin smiled weakly. The trek through the brush had exhausted them. Their bodies demanded two things. A hot shower and a soft bed. And they were barking for them right now. 

"Dr. Gavin Steward," Gavin told the man wearily. 

"You look exhausted," the clerk told them as he punched in the name. "Long flight?" 

"Not yet," Alex smiled. "Long road from Tanzania." 

"Wow!" the man marveled. "Missionaries?" 

"Doctors," Gavin told him. "Working part time with Doctors without Borders." 

"Much needed up there," the clerk nodded as he pulled the electronic room key to program it. 

"Absolutely," Alex agreed looking at the fine amenities of the hotel. 

It was a stark contrast of what they just had for the last two weeks. For two weeks they had the bare minimum. The necessities, and not the necessities most people would think of. Hot showers, hot foot, clean rooms. Those were a luxury in the hell they just came from. 

Necessities included, water, food and a place to sleep. The bed they had was a luxury as well, but even it wasn't as comfortable as the mattress they had at home, or even the mattress they were sure to get in this opulent hotel. 

This hotel promised to return them to what they were used to, the lobby alone was luxurious, inviting and cool. The air conditioning making the difference from outside heat to cool comfort inside. 

"Your room is ready," the clerk told them with a smile. "If there is anything you need, just let us know." 

"Thank you," Gavin nodded. 

They found their room which was more like a bungalow than a hotel room. They dropped their bags on the sofa and looked out the back terrace. The pool had a soft glimmer of sunlight reflecting off of it. It looked really inviting. 

"Perhaps a shower first?" Gavin suggested as the two of them looked at the water in a exhausted state. Alex nodded. 

"When is our flight?" Alex asked him. 

"A couple of days," Gavin frowned. "I figured we would need a day to recoup from the drive, then I thought we would take another day to see some of the sights." 

"Always thinking ahead," Alex admired. "You want to shower first?" 

"Kinda thought we would shower together, sort of a, you wash my back, I'll wash yours?" Gavin grinned. "If you are up for it that is, I would understand if you just want to shower and hit the bed for a good night's sleep of not worrying about refugees, shots or bugs!" 

"No," she shook her head. "I definitely need some help in the shower!" she grinned. 

Turning on the hot water the steam rolled out of the top of the stall. The shower was a stand-alone type, with tile walls and was large enough for both of them to enjoy. There was a small seat in the corner of it and she smiled as the hot water hit her body. 

It was the first hot water to hit her body in over two weeks. Showers at the camp were from water poured into a makeshift shower consisting of just a curtain and a big bag that held water. You would have to hold the nozzle open to wet your body. Then soap up without water, then rinse again holding the nozzle open. The water warmed by the African sun so it was never really hot, just lukewarm. Unless you showered in the morning, then it was ice cold it seemed. 

Now it was scalding hot, but she didn't care. She had two weeks of grime that the makeshift shower couldn't clean. This shower had the water needed to get her back to human! She closed her eyes and let the water cascade down her naked body, starting with her head as she dropped it back and let it hang there. 

She felt his hands on her but she didn't jump. They were soft and gentle. She lifted her head and looked to him. Draping her arms on his shoulder as they stood there in the hot water. Her head on his chest listening to his heart beat against her ear. The hot water running over them. 

"I missed this," she admitted. "Hot water." 

"Yeah," he agreed. "It's amazing how the creature comforts stand out after you lived without them for a while!" 

"Agreed," she smiled as he began to massage shampoo in her hair. She let him pamper her with her eyes closed. 

His lips on her chin caused her mouth to smile. He nibbled gently while he worked her hair, the soap foaming and running gently down her back with the water from the shower. He tilted her head back with his lips and let the water rinse her hair as he gently nibble on her throat. 

The conditioner was next, while he gently worked her hair, she let her hands wander his body. His firm muscles flexing under her fingers while he massaged her scalp and hair with his hands. Her eyes fluttering open for a few brief seconds only to close them in the gentleness of his touch. 

He began to wash her body, starting at her neck and working down. Her body responding to his touch as he went. Her nipples hardening when his fingers brushed them as he lathered her up. Cupping her firm breasts, then using is thumb to rub around her taut nipples. 

He sat on the corner step while he began to wash her stomach, his hands gently massaging her skin on her hips then her upper thighs. Her legs opening willingly letting his hands soap up her sex then her inner thighs causing her to sigh blissfully at his gentle touch. 

Down her legs to her calves, lifting one foot then the other. Lathering as he went. He produced a razor and spread shaving cream on her legs. This was something she didn't do very well in the bush. Now she watched him gently shave her legs lovingly. His hands steady and loving. Making sure he shaved them completely. 

He gently turned her, beginning to work her from the back. His hands lingering on her ass made her smile. 

"What are your thinking?" she teased as he began to kiss and nibble on her firm cheeks. His hands pulling them apart so he could gently stick his tongue into her taboo, making her gasp. He continued to wiggle his tongue in her causing her body to warm and shudder slightly. 

He pulled his tongue out and she whimpered at his exit. She wanted him to continue, but he moved on, soaping her ass before massaging and washing her back at the same time. Soon he had her fully lathered and he was standing again. His hardened cock pressing tightly against the crack of her ass, teasing her with thoughts of her birthday. 

He turned her and rinsed her back off, tilting her head to rinse out the conditioner in her hair. For the first time in two weeks, she was clean. Really clean. Squeaky clean as her hair was completely washed and conditioned. Her body was steam cleaned with the nearly scalding hot water that lasted forever. Her legs properly shaved as she liked them. 

She draped her arms around his neck, her eyes catching a glimpse of her ring which made her smile. It seemed to captivate her anytime it caught her eye and it did often, especially when the light would hit it. It was just the most perfect ring she could imagine. 

It's bright square stone, surrounded by smaller stones. Giving it a halo look. The silver band was shiny and bright. The stones casting off sparkles anytime she moved it. It covered at least half her finger, knuckle to knuckle. It was much larger than she was comfortable with, but she wasn't about to complain! 

"I can't believe I'm going to be your wife," she said softly. "I'm going to be Mrs. Gavin Steward!" 

"Why?" he smiled. 

"Things like this...I'm just not used to them! Ever since you came into my life it has been one fantastic dream after another!" she raved. 

"You...are the dream," he countered. "A dream I hope I never wake from." 

"I have a couple of requests," she whispered. "Sir." 

"And they are?" he smiled. 

"I would like to go off my birth control," she told him. "I want to have your baby." 

He stroked the side of her face as he smiled down on her. He hoped she wanted a baby soon. He did. 

"A month before the wedding," he conditioned. "I don't want anybody to accuse us of having to marry because of anything other than the love we have for one another." Alex frowned and turned her head. He hooked his finger under her chin and turned her back to look at him. 

"What?" he asked her. 

"My gynecologist said that it could take months for the birth control to clear out of my body," she said softly. "Longer sometimes depending on how long I have been taking them." 

"I understand," he nodded. 

"That means it could be years before we have a baby," she pointed out. "I don't want to wait that long." 

"What happens if you get pregnant right away?" he asked her. "Before the wedding?" 

"Then we fly to Vegas," she grinned. "Nothing is more important to me right now than pleasing you in a way no one else has. That is giving you a child. I don't give a damn what anybody thinks of why we got married. We have the truth, and that is we are hopelessly in love with one another." 

He stared into her eyes as he thought about it. 

"Please?" she begged softly. He smiled and shook his head, she was just too perfect to deny. 

"As you wish," he agreed. 

"Thank you Sir!" she said happily. Nearly tapping her feet in excitement in having the honor of his child. A child they would raise together, showering it with love. 

"Your second request?" he asked shaking his head as he recognized her excitement. 

"In a few minutes," she told him. "Let me bathe you." 

She took her time, slowly lathering his hard body with soap, her fingers running along his muscles. His body responding to her fingers. Her hands meeting to take his cock in them, tugging on it gently as her soapy hands pulled on him bringing him to a full erection in the shower. Her hands drifting under him to massage and clean his balls. 

Toweling one another off had their bodies disregarding the pleas from their brains to sleep. They would sleep after they had satisfied the one primal need that wouldn't be denied at this time. That need for one another. 

She left him and went to her bag and retrieved something and went to the bed. Kneeling in front of him she lowered her head and held out the flogger. He smiled. 

"I angered you, by forcing my way with you to the village," she told him with her head down. "I would prefer your hand, as I desire to have your hands on me, but I understand you may not wish to make this pleasurable." 

"I want to make everything pleasurable," he told her taking the flogger out of her open palms. "So how about both? Ten with my hands, ten with the flogger." 

"Twenty sir?" she asked him. She was thinking ten. 

"What you did was a repeat offense," he pointed out. "Punishable by twenty." He said sternly. "And now another twenty for a second offense of questioning me." 

Fuck, she thought to herself. Way to go! 

"I'll start off with twenty for right now," he told her. "Then another twenty tomorrow. Rise and assume the position." 

"Yes Sir," she said softly standing and putting her hands on the bed. She shifted her feet to give her a firm base and prepared herself. 

The crackle of the flogger on her skin had her flinching and hissing. 

"One," she said firmly. Again the crackle of leather on her skin which caused a sizzle of her flesh. 

"Two," 

"Three," 

"Four," she continued to count them out. 

Her fingers clutched the covers tightly as the pain began to build from the center of her cheeks outward, like a small brush fire catching and exploding. After ten he abandoned the flogger and moved along side of her and sat. 

"On my lap," he commanded. She released the covers that were clutched in her hand and stood. The sharpness of the sting in her cheeks had her hissing slightly. She stretched out onto him, her body laying over his thighs, her ass tilted slightly up. Her face on the bed. 

His hands gently moved across her cheeks, feeling the heat radiate off them. He let his fingers dip between her legs and felt her sex. It was hot and moist. She blushed slightly as he felt how excited she was to be spanked. 

His hand lifting off her skin let her know he was about to strike. The loud clap of his hand striking her backside filled the room and had her jumping as the heat doubled in the one strike. 

"Eleven," she whispered. 

"Louder," he commanded. 

"Twelve!" she said louder after his hand caused her ass to sting with a prickly feel of needles. 

"Thirteen!" she gasped after the next strike. She felt a small trickle down the inside of her thigh. 

"Fourteen!" 

"Fifteen," 

"Sixteen!" 

He finished his twentieth with a firm clap. Harder than the previous nine with his hand causing her to yell out in surprise. It also let her know, he was taking it easy on her. Her cheeks were now a bright rosy pink. Nearly a dark red. 

"Sir," she whispered as he rubbed her backside gently with his hand. "Will you take a picture and show my how my butt looks?" She lifted off him and then returned to the position of palms on the bed. He took a couple of pics with the camera and showed them to her. 

"I know I shouldn't be happy," she told him with a wicked smile. "But that turns me on to see my ass like that!" 

She took the flogger back to her suitcase and returned it to the pouch. She then pulled something else out and returned to the bed. She crawled on the bed, leaving her ass to him. He admired her from behind. 

She handed him the lube she had kept in her bag. 

"Sir," she smiled seductively at him. "Will you please, fuck my ass?" He looked at her with a sinister smile crawling across his face. "Please?" she begged softly. 

"You are just so incredibly sexy when you beg like that!" he told her. "I have concerns." 

"I do not," she countered. "Last time I know you were happy, but now I want you to fuck my ass. I want the wolf to be fully satisfied, not holding back. I want to feel you the entire flight back! 

"Lay on the bed," he told her. She flicked her brow wondering what he was going to do but did as she was told. 

He crawled in behind her and rolled her to her side so he could 'spoon' her from behind. He began to slowly nibble on her neck and shoulder as he lay there. He took some of the lube in his hand and gently rubbing it into the valley of her ass. His finger rubbing the outside of her anus slowly before gently putting pressure on it and feeling her ass accept his finger, her anal ring collapsing around his digit. 

She tensed ever so slightly so he didn't move his finger for a few moments, allowing her orifice to adjust to his intrusion there. He began to slide his finger slowly in and out of her causing her to moan slightly. The subtle burning moving to the side after a bit as her body adjusted. 

After a minute or so of his finger there, he pulled it out and poured lube into his palm and copiously lubed his rock hard shaft. He guided it to her anal ring and held it there for a few moments watching her. 

"Are you sure?" he asked one last time. His voice breaking slightly with the desire he had for this. 

"I'm ready for you," she smiled over her shoulder. "Fuck my ass please, Sir." He nodded and pressed his hips forward forcing his cock to press against the anal ring, meeting the resistance. He continued to apply pressure, watching her carefully. 

The slight 'pop' feel of her ring giving in to his invasion caused her to gasp then hiss as her ass exploded in fire. Her hands squeezing the bed covers as the pain rippled through her body. He stayed motionless allowing her body time to adjust to his size. He continued to nuzzle her gently with his lips. 

She still couldn't believe that even after all the preparation, she was still feeling this burning pain. She hoped it would fade into oblivion like all of her other fears but this one was still affecting her. 

"Are you ok?" he asked her. 

"I can't believe even with all the anal plugs and everything, this still feels like this," she hesitated to say pain as that may stop him completely and she didn't want that. She wanted to feel him again. To watch the pleasure of his desire wash across his face, then out of him and into her. 

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked her. 

"No," she said firmly. "I want this, I'm just surprised." 

"Little One," he said softy. "This may always hurt a little, your anus was not designed for sex. It may always be uncomfortable for you." 

"I know," she smiled. "But you love it so much." 

"I love you so much," he said kissing her. "Do you want me to stop?" 

"No," she said firmly. "I'm just going to ask the wolf for a little mercy?" She looked over at him and he shook his head with a smile. 

"I am always going to have your safety and pleasure in mind," he told her. "So, yes, I'm going to take it easy, but I do appreciate the desire you have to please me!" He kissed her lips and began slowly thrusting into her, causing her to hiss. He tilted the bottle of lube to pour some more on her and that seemed to help. He began a steady thrust into her, watching her expression. 

As he began a steady rhythm she began to realize, this session was not as painful as the last. Perhaps she was getting used to it. Then she remembered he warned her there were more comfortable positions than the one she used that night she tied him to the bed. Perhaps that was a factor. 

Laying here spooned up, his cock in her ass in a slow steady rhythm, his lips biting her shoulder gently. She was relishing in the thought that he was going to cum hard again. She was going to please him, more than she normally did. Perhaps that wasn't true, but she imagined it was. He was an ass man after all. 

He slid his hand up her body to her breasts and began to tug on her nipples. Pinching them sharply causing her to gasp as he held his fingers pinched, she winced and looked down at his thumb and forefinger pinching her nipple. Squishing it in between. First one, then the other. Holding it tightly for a few seconds before going to the other. 

His hips began to drive farther and faster into her causing to yelp, his hand on her throat had her eyes fluttering closed. His grip began to squeeze around her. The sides mainly, only slight pressure on the front of her throat. 

She began to gasp audibly as his cock reached deeply into her, all the while his hand held her throat causing her to shudder in pleasure. His pressure on her throat, increased anytime the speed of his hips did. 

The sharp burning in her anus never subsiding, but she adjusted to the constant fire there. She turned her eyes as best she could to look at him, but his hand on her throat kept her from turning her head to look at him. His mouth was locked on her upper shoulder, this teeth sharply digging into her sweet flesh. His mouth filling with her soapy taste. 

Her hands dug into the covers on the bed, the pain radiating outward from her anus to her entire ass. His body slapping against her cheeks let her know he was fucking her ass pretty hard, but not as hard as he had Elizabeth that night, but harder than she was able to fuck herself on her birthday. 

She reveled in the look in his eyes as he squeezed tightly around her throat, his hips driving hard then suddenly stopping as he drove to his maximum depth, she turned her eyes as far as she could, but his hand kept her from looking fully. She saw enough of the expression to make her smile as his cock bucked against her tight lining as he filled her with his cum. His growl letting her know he was immensely please to deposit his seed in her ass. 

Yes it hurt, not as bad as the last time, but it still hurt. His expertise obviously helped, the lube for sure, and the way he positioned her. All helped to make this anal experience better. While she didn't get to cum, she reveled in the knowledge that he fucked her ass. That he came hard. That he was fully satisfied. 





Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 33



He gently released her throat and she could take a full breath. She didn't realize how much he had restricted her from breathing until he let go. She held onto his hair as he suckled on her neck in his emotional discharge. His breathing coming back to him from his excitement. 

He slipped from her causing her to hiss, she watched his sinister smile slither across his face as she did. So he did take some pleasure in her pain. She knew he was only slightly sadistic he said. Her ass was now on fire from his cock, but she loved the way his eyes sparkled in satisfaction. It made it all worthwhile. 

He returned with a towel and gently cleaned her up with a warm wash rag and the towel. She grimaced as he wiped her clean of lube and cum that had leaked out of her. She held the rag to her backside and excused herself to the restroom. 

She had to empty herself, her body was demanding it. Not that she was going to be able to go fully for a day or two but as she sat there she realized all she had been through, and how happy she was. She was now able to please him in every fashion. This had her smiling, and emotionally she was content. Now her body was demanding sleep. 

She crawled up next to him and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight to his body. 

"Are you ok?" he asked her. 

"I'm better than ok," she assured him. "I'm so far in the clouds of happiness I have lost myself completely." He kissed her neck, they were both asleep in a matter of minutes. She wrapped within his arms. He wrapped within her love. Both content.  

*** 

Chapter 40 

She stared at it on the plane, her head nestled softly on his shoulder. She was still in awe. Not only the ring, but the mere fact he asked! She hadn't even started thinking about marriage. Baby yes, but not marriage. She thought about how twisted that was! She was completely content with what they had. Now she sat in first class, looking at the largest stone she had ever seen. 

"What kind of ceremony do you want?" she asked him softly. 

"I'll be quite honest with you," he said kissing her head and leaving his lips there. "I kind of figured you had this figured out. I thought all girls dream of their wedding day, plan it out multiple times." 

"We daydream about it, sure!" she admitted. "But this has caught me totally off guard!" 

"Well," he smiled. "I'm doing my job then, I'm keeping you guessing." 

"Mission accomplished!" She said turning her eyes to him. He kissed her nose. "So you don't have any preferences?" He shrugged. 

"Look," he frowned. "I really don't have any family to invite or anything like that, I have a couple aunts and uncles, a few cousins but we aren't a close knit family. We mainly exchange cards on holidays and birthdays. In truth all I have is Madelyn and Pavy...and you. So this really isn't about me. This is your special day. This is what you want. As long as I'm waiting there for you, I'll be just fine." 

Alex thought about it as she stared at the light reflecting off the stone. This man she was with was a simple man. Simple in the things he desired anyway. He liked things to be simple. He liked things to be quiet. Subtle. 

"Why don't we do a little quiet wedding," she suggested. "You know, one of those little vineyard weddings you see?" 

"I want you to be happy," he stressed. "Don't be worrying about my comfort level and liking things quiet and simple." 

"Damn Jedi," she smiled with a shake of her head. 

"If you want something," he told her. "It's yours. We are only going to do this once, so let's do it right." 

"I really don't want anything to ostentatious," she admitted. "Family, a few friends...I like small." 

"Don't want a church wedding?" he asked her. 

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "Not really religious, I think I would like a little vineyard wedding." 

"Sounds nice," he said pressing his lips to her head. 

"When do you want to have it?" she asked. 

"Whenever you want to have it," he laughed. 

"I want Pavy there, so we will have to work it so that when he is back in the States," she said firmly. 

"That could be a monumental task," Gavin pointed out. 

"I'm thinking Nora as a flower girl," Alex told him not responding to the difficult task of scheduling a wedding when Pavy could make it. "Have Lena up with me." 

"Sounds nice," he smiled letting her plan. 

"My father giving me away," Alex smiled. She pictured the look of pride on his face, and the tears he would shed as he walked her down the aisle. 

"Are you going to have Pavy up with you, or Madelyn?" she asked. 

"Pavy," he said softly. 

"So Pavy with you, Lena with me," Alex continued. "A little vineyard with a Justice of the Peace. Simple. Cozy." 

"Sounds fantastic," Gavin admitted. 

He also knew that this little plan she was coming up with would probably change a couple of hundred times. So letting her plan it out now and not interrupting was the best choice. It would change when she told her family. It would change when she started to look at wedding locations. So what she was planning now would not be the actual wedding. Still he was comforted with listening to her voice as she planned it. 

For the first time in a long time, for as long as he could remember, he was content. Content with his life. Content with the girl by his side. Content with who he was. The short stint in Africa had him realizing that he was capable of doing good. Alex had talked of coming back a couple weeks a year. Perhaps that was possible. That way he could keep his practice and do the good he wanted to do when he first started wanting to be a doctor. This woman nestled into his arm was making all that possible. Giving him the strength to live again. 

*** 

"Wow! Look at you!" Lena gasped as Alex walked into the apartment. "So dark!" Lena pointed out Alex's deep dark tan. 

"I know!" Alex laughed taking her friend into a welcome home hug. 

"So, tell me all about it!" Lena begged, pulling her towards the living room for the 'therapy' position. 

"I have one thing to tell you," Alex smiled. Lena looked to her. 

"I'm going to need a Maid of Honor!" Alex smiled showing Lena her new piece of jewelry. 

"Holy shit!" Lena screamed and took Alex into her arms happily. "I'm so happy for you! And super jealous!" 

"I'm super happy too!" Alex smiled as she watched her friend examine the ring. Lena shook her head in a marvel of the large ring. "So, will you be my Maid of Honor?" 

"Hell yes!" Lena assured pulling her back into a hug. "So come in here and tell me all about your trip!" 

Sitting on the couch Alex laughed when Lena pulled her head into her lap. This was the usual position for their conversations that included relationships. Usually that dealt with relationship failures. This was not about a failure. This was about the summit of success. The culmination of love and happiness. Still they used it. It meant no details are to be left out. 

"Well," Alex shrugged. "What do you want to hear first?" 

"Start at the beginning," Lena smiled. "And don't stop until I hear it all!" 

"Well, when we first got there we almost had a gun fight with the Nairobi military!" Alex laughed. This caused Lena's eyes to bug out at the thought of the danger her friend was in. "But U.N. troops arrived and squashed that. Pavy's dad made sure we were safe." Lena nodded. 

"I earned a new name over there," Alex said looking up at her. "The villages started calling me Pipi Malaika, which means 'Candy Angel'." 

"Oh my God that sounds absolutely fantastic!" Lena gushed happily. 

Alex went through all the things they went through at the camp. The wounded, the children. She detailed the little safari they went on and showed her the pictures they took. She told of all the shots she gave and how she became pretty adept at working with the skeptical mothers. 

"So," Lena smiled. "When, where and how did he propose?" 

"We were leaving, we came home through Cape Town as we couldn't go back the way we came because of fighting. It was a two day drive, we stopped at Victoria Falls...he proposed at the base there in the park," she said proudly. 

"He was so romantic about it! I was talking about wondering how it would feel at the bottom as all the water was falling, he said he knew how it felt...because he felt it every time he looked at me!" 

"Go ahead, keep rubbing it in, you little bitch!" Lena growled. 

"Oh don't worry...I fully intend to!" Alex smiled. 

"So, we talking a big wedding then?" Lena asked. Alex shook her head. 

"No, I'm thinking one of those little vineyard weddings," Alex told her. "You with me, Pavy with Gavin. Nora as the flower girl, my dad giving me away." 

"When?" Lena asked. 

"I have to get in touch with Pavy and find out when he is coming back here," Alex said twisting her lips. "Then I will schedule it when he is back in country." 

"That actually sounds really nice!" Lena complimented. "Simple, I know your man will like that!" 

"He said I could have anything I wanted," Alex told her. "He said we are only doing this once!" 

"No, this sounds like you guys," Lena said with a shrug. "You guys are simple and elegant...this matches you." 

"I think so too!" Alex agreed. 

"So when do we go dress shopping?" Lena asked with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

"Right now, I'm so tired from the trip," Alex frowned. "Let's shoot for the weekend, that way I get back on a normal sleeping schedule and rest a bit. We are both just totally exhausted!" 

"I bet!" Lena agreed. "When are you going to tell the family?" 

"I'm going back next week," Alex frowned. "Livy has her divorce hearing, I want to be there for her during that." 

"Gavin going with you?" Lena asked. 

"No," Alex shook her head. "He should stay here and work, he already feels guilty for all the time he is spending away. With my birthday, and Christmas and then Africa! He has spent more time away with me this year than his entire career before!"  

"Hey," Lena smiled getting Alex to look at her. "I'm so happy for you, and I love you!" 

"Thanks sweetie!" Alex smiled. "I love you too!" 

*** 

Alex finally was home, after telling Lena, then the Mike at the front desk, she was looking forward to spending the next couple of days just enjoying the condo. When there was a knock at the door she frowned because that meant getting up from the couch and she didn't even want to do that! 

She opened the door and found Madelyn standing there. She smiled broadly at Alex letting her know she already knew the good news. 

"Hello baby!" Madelyn said taking Alex into her arms. "Congratulations!" 

"Thank you!" Alex said with a broad smile. She showed Madelyn the ring and the woman gushed over it. 

"He did good!" Madelyn complimented. 

"He did," Alex said proudly looking at the ring. 

"I'm not talking about the ring!" Madelyn laughed. Alex tilted her head at the compliment when Madelyn winked at her, letting her know she was the 'good'. "So have you started planning?" 

Alex guided the woman into the condo had had her sit on the couch with her. Madelyn held her hand the entire way until they were sitting side by side on the couch. 

"Yeah, it's already done," Alex admitted with a coy smile. "We are going to do something simple. Vineyard wedding, just a few family and friends. 

"Really?" Madelyn said losing part of her smile. 

"Gavin likes simple, you know that," Alex pointed out noting the loss of her smile. 

"This is your special day," Madelyn pointed out. 

"This is our special day," Alex told her. "I'm just happy he is going to be there, so I don't want to make him too uncomfortable." 

"Screw him!" Madelyn barked. "You deserve to have a big wedding!" 

"I don't really have that many people to invite," Alex explained. "Just family, a few friends." 

"Sweetheart," Madelyn frowned. "This is going to be a big deal in our world, there will be a lot of important people that will want to be there!" 

"I don't know any important people besides you!" Alex corrected. 

"Gavin works with a lot of important people," Madelyn said firmly. 

"Well," Alex shrugged softly. "Gavin didn't say anything about his patients." 

Madelyn looked to the floor and shook her head. Alex could feel her disappointment. She could also see the wheels turning in the woman's head. 

"Baby," Madelyn said slowly. "I'm calling in your marker." Madelyn said lifting her head. 

"What?" Alex gasped. 

"You owe me," Madelyn reminded. 

"I know," Alex swallowed hard. "What do you want from me?" 

"I want the wedding at my house," Madelyn said without hesitation. 

"Ok," Alex frowned. 

"I want elaborate," Madelyn continued. 

"Mistress," Alex began to protest. 

"You owe me," Madelyn said again. "I didn't expect to have to call it in so quickly, but Gavin surprised even me on this one!" 

"Mistress," Alex began again. "Gavin won't like this!" 

"I'm sorry honey," Madelyn said softly. "But that is not my problem...it is yours!" 

Alex sat back into the couch with a flop. Gavin was not going to like this at all! He was such a simplistic person that something elaborate was going to anger him. She thought of all the elaborate parties that Madelyn threw. That brought up another problem, Madelyn's parties involved the lifestyle, would this wedding be similar? 

"My parents don't know about my lifestyle choice," Alex pointed out thinking her wedding was the last place she wanted to announce to the family she was a submissive. 

"This has nothing to do with the lifestyle," Madelyn said standing up. "This is about the man I consider my son getting married to the most fantastic girl I have ever encountered. I'm an old woman and this is something I have dreamt about for years." 

"There is no way I can convince you to reconsider?" Alex asked. 

"None," Madelyn said firmly. Alex knew that was going to be the answer but she was hoping against hope. Alex closed her eyes and nodded. How was she going to explain this to Gavin? 

Gavin came in a couple hours after Madelyn left. Alex was still sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling. He looked to her as he turned the corner. 

"What's up?" he asked her. 

"Madelyn was here," Alex whispered. 

"Ok," 

"She called in her marker," Alex told him with closed eyes. 

"What does she want?" he asked as he came to her and stood next to the couch. 

"She has shanghaied the wedding," Alex told him. 

"What?" he asked angrily. 

"She wants the wedding at her mansion," Alex said turning her head to him without lifting it. "She wants elaborate!" 

"Tell her she can't have that," Gavin said firmly. "This is your day." 

"This is our day," Alex corrected. "And this is her favor, her marker." 

"Jesus Christ!" Gavin growled. 

"I'm sorry," Alex told him. "I won't renege on my promise." 

"This is what happens when you make deals with Satan!" Gavin grumped. He shook his head and walked into his office without another word. 

"Fuck," she hissed when he slammed the door. 

*** 

She listened at the door of Gavin's office after she heard him arguing. He was arguing with Madelyn. She closed her eyes and shook her head. He was barking that she couldn't take over the wedding. Alex closed her eyes and walked in without knocking. 

She took the phone gently from his fingers and smiled at him lovingly. She tilted her head in apology to him and he knew what that meant. 

"Mistress," Alex interrupted the vehement conversation from that end. Madelyn stopped talking when she heard Alex's voice. 

"I'll be over when I get back from Pennsylvania," Alex said looking at Gavin. "We can start going over ideas for what we want." 

"I'm sorry to put you in this position," Madelyn said back softly. 

"No," she smiled. "You are family, I owe you so much." 

"Honey," Madelyn said sadly. "Maybe I should just butt out? I don't want to blackmail you for the favor I did for you and Pavy." 

"No, Mistress," Alex said firmly. "I owe you from way before that. It was you who solidified my position with Gavin that night at your party. It was you who kept counsel with him that I was a good thing." 

"Are you sure?" Madelyn asked her, the happiness in her voice coming through which made Alex happy. 

"I'm positive," she said firmly. "When I get back, I'll bring Lena out and we will exchange ideas, go through some bridal magazines." 

"I love you, Dearie," Madelyn said gleefully. The excitement in her voice had Alex smiling. "See you soon!" 

"I love you too," Alex said hanging up the phone after Madelyn did. She looked to Gavin who waited for an explanation. 

"You said I could have whatever I wanted," she said firmly. He nodded. 

"You said you wanted simple," he pointed out. 

"I've changed my mind," Alex told him. "We are going to have a big wedding. It makes Madelyn happy to have it there. If it wasn't for Madelyn...I don't think I would have you. So I owe her my life. If this makes her happy, then it makes me happy to please her. Which I know, in the end, will please you." 

Gavin let out a slow deep exhale as he looked to the desk. 

"I'm sorry my Love," Alex said to him. "But don't worry, you will only have to do this once, and then, I will spend the rest of my life showing you not only can I be a great sub, but a fantastic wife and mother." 

*** 

Chapter 41 

It was a bright Monday morning. Alex still didn't have her legs under her from her trip to Africa. She wanted to stay at the condo and have Gavin spoil her like he had done all weekend, with foot massages and loving comments to de-stress her. 

The first excursion into the bridal dress world was absolutely draining. Store after store, dress after dress. Nothing seemed perfect. That's what she wanted, perfect. Was that so hard? Madelyn and Lena were patient, but when she told them she wanted elegant yet sexy they rolled their eyes. 

It seemed she could have one or the other, but not both! She wanted a dress that people would awe over, but a dress that would make Gavin drool and think about all he was getting. An elegant and beautiful but sexy and desirable wife. 

Madelyn, even though she had basically blackmailed her way into the wedding, wasn't as problematic as Alex had feared. She didn't want to keep Alex from her special day, she just wanted to have it on a grander scale. She was patient with Alex and the only argument that was had was between Madelyn and Gavin, on who was going to pay for the wedding. Madelyn won, as usual. 

Now she was standing in front of her sister's new apartment in Averin. Coffee in hand, energy level on low and her body begging for her to go to bed. 

"Holy cow," Livy smiled looking her younger sister over. "You look terrible!" She teased. 

"Thank you," Alex smiled half-heartedly. "It matches the way I feel!" 

"You didn't have to come!" Livy told her standing to the side and letting her in. 

"And let you fend off the wolves by yourself?" Alex scoffed. "No, I'm here to give Mother something else to bitch about besides you!" 

"You have done that too much already," Livy told her leading her to the kitchen and pointing to a chair for her to sit in. Alex collapsed into it and Livy shook her head. 

"Sorry," Alex frowned. "I'm still not right from my trip." 

"Which is why you should have stayed in Chicago...What is that?" Livy beamed looking at Alex's hand. Fuck, Alex kicked herself, she meant to take it off before she got here. 

"That," Alex smiled, "is an engagement ring!" 

"Oh my God that is soooo great!" Livy jumped up and threw her into a hug and Alex could do nothing but hug her sister back. 

"Sorry," Alex said releasing her. "I meant to take it off...I mean here you are about to go through the hardest thing ever, the last thing you need is this reminder." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 33



"You're wrong," Livy said pulling her hand to her to inspect the ring more carefully. "I need this to remind me that I deserve better, and better is out there!" Alex tilted her head at the change in attitude Livy was displaying. 

At Christmas she seemed a mess, a destroyed woman. Now her happy smile was back, her mood chipper. 

"Are you getting laid?" Alex asked her dubiously. 

"What?" Livy gasped. 

"You seem pretty chipper!" Alex pointed out. 

"No," Livy shook her head. "Men are totally off limits for a while, unless I find a man like your Gavin." 

"Good luck with that," Alex groaned. "I think I got the last one! They don't make them like my Gavin anymore! I was single for a long time, so I know." 

"Now you are killing my mood! Thanks!" Livy joked. 

"You really ok?" Alex asked her. Livy shrugged. 

"As good as I can be right now," Livy told her. 

"How's my favorite niece?" Alex asked her. 

"Totally not talking to me since I sent her to school today instead of letting her stay home to see you!" Livy growled. "That girl is more like you than I like!" 

"You mean stunningly beautiful, with a personality to match?" Alex asked with a blush. 

"No," Livy said with twisted lips. "A stubborn, strong willed little pain in the butt! With a temper to match!" 

"So catch me up," Alex said rolling her hand to Livy to start the talking. 

"Judith, my lawyer," Livy said getting up and pulling the coffee pot towards her and refilling Alex's cup. "Is the most amazing woman I have ever met! She is absolutely ruthless!" 

"What do you mean?" Alex asked. 

"Well," Livy looked to the ceiling. "The very first meeting, Don's lawyer tried to bully us." Alex lifted her eyes. "Yeah, that went over like a turd in the punch bowl! Judith just looks at him and shakes her head, all confident like, and starts putting her stuff back in the briefcase. She then lets out this deep exhale and says, 'let me catch you up on everything...your client is the one that cheated, multiple times. Your client is the one that impregnated another woman. Your client is the complete asshole here." 

" 'My client is telling me that she wants nothing but child support...now if you want to play bully with me, I'm going to cut my client out of this completely and rip you to shreds. By that I mean, alimony, child support, the house, the cars, the savings account, half the 401k and then I'm going to sue that little whore of girlfriend of his for spousal alienation, which means she is also going to pay my client for spreading her little legs for your client!.'" Alex sat there slacked jawed. 

"Judith got up, looked to me, and I got up and we left the room," Livy laughed. "I looked to her in the elevator and she just sat there with this little smug look." Livy shook her head. 

"I finally had to ask her what was going on," Livy giggled. "She tells me 'I'm lawyering, this just let them know that what you want is less than what I can get'!" 

"The next meeting went a lot smoother!" Livy said proudly. "Everything is figured out, today's court appearance is just to have the Judge ok everything. Judith says it's a formality." 

"You act like you are ok with this," Alex agreed. "But, it may be a bit different later. So I hope you don't mind if I stick around?" 

"Not at all! Nora is expecting you to pick her up in the Mercedes, with the top down!" Livy smiled, and reminded Alex that Nora wanted the top down at Christmas. 

"How is she doing with all this?" Alex asked her. 

"About as well as you can imagine," Livy shrugged. "Don still doesn't want her around the 'other woman', so he picks her up and takes her to McDonald's from time to time. She is trying to be so much like you...so strong, but I can see the pain." 

"What are you going to do about that?" Alex asked, the anger tinting her words. 

"He has a right to her," Livy pointed out. 

"It looks like he doesn't want it," Alex countered. 

"True," Livy frowned. "But I'm still hoping that the old Don wakes up and finds out that his little girlfriend is making him make mistakes he might not recover from." 

"In the end," Livy said firmly. "I will protect Nora with everything I have. I will protect her like you would. I will become the bitch nobody thought I could be!" 

*** 

Alex sat at the front of the courtroom, right behind Livy. Their dad showed up and hugged Alex warmly then hugged Livy. Alex wasn't surprised when the others didn't come. Livy seemed surprised, and a bit hurt when her mother and older sisters didn't come in. She looked to Alex who tried to give a reassuring smile. 

Don showed up with his lawyer, and new girlfriend. She was already sporting a little engagement ring on her hand. Livy saw it and rolled her eyes at Alex who smiled. 

"You should go over and show her what a real engagement ring looks like!" Livy teased. 

"I go over there, she will be unconscious," Alex growled, staring at the little just out of her teens, homewrecker down. 

"What engagement ring?" Al asked looking at his two daughters. 

"Oh shoot!" Livy gasped. "Sorry!" Alex shook her head and smiled. 

She showed her father the ring and he engulfed her into his arms and squeezed her tightly, so tightly she thought he was trying to squeeze the stuffing out of her. 

"That's fantastic!" Al gushed looking at it. "Oh I am so proud of you!" Alex blushed at all the attention she was getting. She didn't want that, this was supposed to be support for Livy, not her engagement. 

The judge came in and they all sat down, Al holding Alex's hand happily. 

"Good morning," the black cloaked man said shuffling papers and putting his glasses on. "From what I understand, all the particulars have been agreed on?" The stately man asked looking over his glasses. 

"They have Your Honor," Judith said handing the divorce papers to the bailiff to take to the Judge. 

"We have a counter," Don's lawyer said handing a second set of papers to the bailiff. 

"Counter?" Judith asked in a snarl. "Are you sure?" The look on Judith's face said it all. Daring them to proceed with their little surprise counter. 

"Yes," the lawyer said with a nod. "My client has thought over everything and has changed his mind on a couple things." 

"Mistake," was all Judith said as she sat down shaking her head. 

"What is different?" the Judge asked. 

"My client wants the house, as Ms. Lasko has abandoned it," the lawyer began. "Seeing how he still lives there, he feels that he should be able to keep it." 

"Anything else?" the Judge asked writing something down. 

"He wants half custody and therefore, no child support," the lawyer said looking to Judith who chuckled slightly in disbelief. 

"What?" Livy barked out standing up and turning to face her soon to be ex-husband. 

All the work they had done to keep this peaceable was flying out the window now. 

"What is she supposed to do? Spend half the year with me in Averin, then change schools to spend the other half with you? How is that what's best for Nora?" Don didn't look at her instead he stared at the table as the judge tapped his gavel gently. A soft reminder of where Livy was barking. 

"You said you just wanted what was best for Nora!" Livy reminded Don. He said nothing, nor did he look over at her. She shook her head when he wouldn't even look at her. 

"Your Honor," the lawyer continued. "We wish to offer a compromise." 

"I'm all ears," the Judge frowned. 

Livy shook her head angrily but Judith patted her hand. Livy leaned into her. 

"Whatever you want," Livy growled. "He wants it messy, make it messy! MY little girl doesn't deserve to be treated like a pawn!" 

"If Ms. Lasko is willing to forgo her claim on half the house," the lawyer began looking at Livy. "Mr. Codeen is willing to drop the half custody." 

"That's what this is all about?" Livy growled. Judith put her hand on her to keep her from standing up. "The house? Is that what your little girlfriend wants? A place for her little baby?" 

"Ms. Lasko," the Judge reprimanded. 

Alex looked to her father at Livy's outburst, the demure sister she grew up with was fulfilling her threat. She could be a bitch if need be. Al shrugged in surprise as well. This was a side of Livy neither had ever seen. 

"I'm sorry Your Honor," Livy said sitting down, wiping the tear that escaped from her face. 

"I understand," the Judge said sympathetically. "But please, let your lawyer do her job." 

"Yes Sir," Livy shook her head in disbelief. 

Judith looked to Livy and smiled. She then shrugged, she knew Livy didn't care about the house, her only concern was Nora, and this was a perfect way to make sure the one concern Livy had was taken care of. 

"Your Honor," Judith said standing up. "My client is willing to agree to the house, but, she wants complete custody of the Nora. There is no way she would agree to half, and right now, I don't even want Mr. Codeen to have visitation rights!" 

"So, he wants the house," Judith continued confidently, looking at Don. "Ms. Lasko wants Nora. Complete control. Mr. Codeen must relinquish his paternal rights to her." 

"Mr. Codeen," the Judge frowned. "You will want to speak to your attorney." 

Instead of looking at his attorney he looked to his pregnant girlfriend who intimated with her head bob to take the deal. Don frowned and looked to his lawyer and nodded his consent. 

"We accept that," the lawyer said with a shake of his head. The Judge looked at both men at the table disapprovingly. 

"You are going to regret that," the Judge warned as he shook his head. "Is there any more surprises?" He chastised the lawyer in open court. 

"No Sir," the lawyer frowned. "We still hold to no child support." 

"You have got to be out of your mind!" Judith laughed. 

"I agree," the judge said firmly, pointing out that no child support wasn't going to happen unless Livy didn't want it. 

He looked to the original papers and turned them until he found the amount agreed upon before the hearing. Before this little bombshell. 

"The original amount agreed upon seems to be low as well. My suggestion, agree to that." This surprised everyone in the courtroom. The Judge not being so neutral. 

Don nodded that he agreed and the lawyer said so verbally. 

"Mr. Codeen," the Judge began slowly signing off on the agreement. "I hope this doesn't come back to haunt you later." With that he cracked his gavel and left the courtroom. 

*** 

Livy sat on a bench outside the courthouse as Alex rubbed her back sympathetically. She could feel the mixture of anger and sadness. Anger at what Don had tried to do. Sadness at the fact, her marriage was officially over. She was now a divorcee.  

"Alex," Livy said after a few minutes of silence. "You need to go if you are going to pick up Nora. She is expecting you." 

"Are you sure?" Alex asked her. "We could pick her up together...run into Pittsburg from some retail therapy?" 

"No," Livy said firmly. "I need some time before Nora sees me. So, if you would, take her out and entertain her a bit. Give me a couple hours to gather myself?" 

"Of course," Alex agreed. "Dad, will you give her a ride?" 

"Absolutely," Al agreed. "Why don't you bring Nora to dinner tonight at the house, I'll grill out and the family will all be there. It doesn't happen very often and it seems you might want to let everyone else know about your little surprise!" 

"I think that should happen later," Alex said looking at Livy. 

"No," Livy disagreed. "You need to brag on your man, you need to show everybody what a healthy relationship looks like." Alex shook her head. 

"C'mon Dad," Livy said standing up. "Take me to lunch, I need it." 

"Let's go baby girl," Al said putting his arm around Livy and guiding her towards his pick-up truck. "See you later Alex, say about five?" 

"Ok," Alex agreed as she watched them walk away. Livy's head on her father's outer arm. 

She pulled up her cell after Livy and her father were out of sight. She started walking towards her car. 

"Hey beautiful," Gavin's voice came across strong. 

"Hello, Sir," Alex smiled. 

It was comforting to hear his voice. It reminded her of all the good in her life. She was wallowing in the sadness Livy was having to endure, despite the façade Livy was putting on for Alex. 

"How did it go?" Gavin asked her. 

"The man is a complete asshole!" Alex barked. "He tried some bullshit move to take custody away from Livy!" 

"What did Judith do?" Gavin asked. 

"Less than she could have, I'm sure!" Alex said shaking her head climbing into her car. Al honked his horn as he drove by. 

"Tell Gavin hello and congratulations!" Livy called out from the window. 

"Did you hear Livy?" Alex smiled. 

"I did," Gavin told her. "I thought we were going to wait to tell them?" 

"I forgot to take the ring off...she saw it," Alex said with a huff. "She is really happy, so was Dad." 

"Well," Gavin said with a half laugh. "It sounds like the cat is out of the bag." 

"It is, if not, it will be. Dad wants me to come over and have dinner with the family," Alex told him as she pulled away from the curb. "Right now I'm headed to pick up Nora, she wants a ride with the top down!" 

"You girls have fun," Gavin laughed. "Be careful, it's supposed to be chilly there this evening." 

"What did you do? Check the weather?" Alex asked. 

"Yes," he said with an incredulous chuckle. "Just because you aren't here, doesn't mean I don't think about you." 

"Yes Sir," Alex felt the love across the phone. "I'll see you in a couple of days." 

"Love you," Gavin said. 

"Love you more," Alex said back. 

*** 

"AUNT ALEX!" Nora screamed as she ran from the school doors. 

Alex was leaning against the car, she had already dropped the top on the convertible. Nora leapt into her arms and Alex blew into the side of her neck lovingly. She then put her in the seat and buckled her in. 

Pulling away carefully she looked over at Nora as she held her hand up and over the top of the windshield as the wind whipped over the car. The smile couldn't be contained on the little girl. After a few minutes Nora pulled her hand down and looked to Alex. 

"How did court go today?" she asked knocking the air out of Alex. 

"Wha...what?" Alex regrouped. 

"I know mom is supposed to be in court today," Nora told her firmly. "I've been letting her lie to me...that's why you are here, right?" 

"No, I'm here to see you," Alex tried. 

"Please Aunt Alex," Nora begged closing her eyes. "Don't be like everybody else and lie to me. Not you!" 

Alex pulled the car into a store parking lot and put the car in park. She looked to Nora and let out a slow breath. 

"Court went as expected," Alex told her taking her small hand in hers. "Your dad tried some stupid things, but the judge didn't go for it." 

"Will I spend half my time here and half with him?" Nora asked her. "I don't want to spend half with that mean girl!" 

"How do you know this stuff?" Alex asked her. Livy had told her she only talked about the divorce when Nora was in school. 

"Dad," Nora shrugged. "I heard him and his girlfriend arguing one day. At least mom never argued in front of me!" 

"I'm sorry baby," Alex said kissing her cheek and pulling her into her arms. "No, you will be spending you time with your mommy here in Averin. Your father thinks that is what's best for you." 

"So he gets the house?" Nora said slamming what felt like a sucker punch into Alex. 

"Oh honey!" Alex gasped. The things this little girl knew that she shouldn't have known! To know that your father was using you like a chess piece. How does an adult handle that let alone a seven year old? 

"It's ok," Nora assured her. "They need a place for the baby." 

"It's not ok!" Alex growled. "You deserve so much better than that!" 

"I'm with Mommy, which is all I want," Nora said firmly. "Me and Mommy." 

"Well," Alex smiled. "You won't have to worry about that at all!" 

*** 

"How did court go today?" Father Wells asked as his favorite parishioner as she sat in her normal spot. 

"The bastard tried to take Nora from me!" Livy barked. 

The priest sat down next to her and put his arm around her. 

"I'm sorry," Jack said as she turned into him and cried. "What happened?" 

"The selfish little prick wanted the house," Livy raged. "He didn't give a damn about Nora! He just used her to get the house, threatened to take her from me, but then said if I would sign off on giving him the house, he would grant me full custody!" 

"Well," Jack shrugged. "It sounds like you got what you wanted. The house is just a pile of wood and bricks. You have the gift of life, of love." 

"I do," Livy smiled. She took the offered hanky. 

"So?" Jack asked with his eyebrows. 

"I don't feel any different," Livy shrugged, knowing what the priest was asking about. Her worry about how she would feel after the divorce. She worried she would feel less human, less like a person. Less of a Christian. 

"Told you," Jack smiled. "All that worry that you would feel like shit...wasted time. All that worry that God would punish you for it...more wasted time." 

"You know my mother believes that," Livy countered. 

"And I have told you that I doubt your mother is within the fold of God's love," Jack countered. 

"You have," Livy chuckled. "But why is she so sure?" 

"Because those who believe they are closest to God, are usually the farthest," Jack said with a sigh. "And those the farthest from God are the ones that Satan tempts the most. Sometimes he impersonates the Heavenly Father to trick them into belief." 

"How can I save them then?" Livy asked him. 

"By living in the way God wants you to live," Jack told her. "To lead by example is what He expects. He doesn't want you to convert the world. He wants you to be a ray of light in the darkness. To show with God's love, all is possible, and that you are undefeatable regardless of what this shitty life throws at you!" 

"So I'm not damned for this?" she asked again. 

"Not in the least," Jack assured her. "Soon, you will know this as I do. God has spoken to me, He told me this is your path." Jack stood up and began to move away as another parishioner moved into the confessional. 

"God has spoken to you?" Livy asked with a disbelieving smile. 

"You don't think I speak to myself in the yard, like some sort of town idiot do you?" Jack laughed. "No, I speak to Him, He speaks to my heart. He loves you. That much is sure. When you thought you could go no further, He carried you to His doorstep...and invited you in." Jack said reminding her of their first meeting. 

"You have been speaking to Him about me?" Livy asked surprised. 

"Every night," Jack said firmly. 

"Why?" 

"Because you needed Him, more than anyone else," Jack told her. "And I know your faith is tarnished by all of this, but soon, you will turn to where you are supposed to be." 

"And where is that?" Livy smiled. 

"One more pew up," Jack laughed pointing to the first row. "Well within the arms of our Father's love." Livy nodded as he looked at her one last time at the confessional booth. He winked at her and entered. 

"Thank you Heavenly Father," Livy prayed. "For your Angel of love, please bless Father Jack and forgive his language in Your house!" She snickered as she looked to the confessional. Father Jack Wells, not your typical priest. Then again, he warned her of that that first day they met. 

*** 

Alex pulled Nora from the seat and turned her loose to run to her mother. The two hugged warmly and Nora went on a speed talk of all that Alex and she had done. From driving fast with the top down, to which Alex shook her head in denial, but Livy could tell by the guilty smile that Alex was lying despite her hand being raise to swear an oath. To the ice cream they had at Dairy Queen. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 33



"Sounds like Aunt Alex is spoiling you!" Livy said happily. 

Alex watched Judith come out of the apartment door and a shot of panic ran through her as Livy and Nora went inside. Judith winked at her as she came to her own Mercedes. 

"Nice car," Judith teased. 

"Back at you!" Alex smiled. "Is everything alright?" 

"Of course!" Judith assured. "Just some last minute details Livy needed to go through. Changing her will, at my suggestion, and what not. Sign the official decree of divorce so that can be filed with the state. Just crossing the 'T's' and dotting the 'I's'." 

"So it's official then?" Alex asked her. 

"It will be in a couple of weeks," Judith said with a shrug putting her briefcase in her car. "Goes to Mr. Codeen, then to the Judge. Then it's filed with the circuit clerk who makes it official." 

"Thank you for all you have done!" Alex said extending her hand. 

"I wish your sister would have let me do more!" Judith complained. "I could have taken him to the cleaners! But she didn't want that." 

"I know," Alex frowned. 

"I did sneak one thing by her," Judith smiled like a child who had gotten away with peaking at Christmas gifts. 

"Oh?" Alex smiled. 

"She is getting alimony, whether she likes it or not!" Judith wiggled her eyebrows. "At least until she has her own career going, and is making equal to what he makes!" 

"Livy didn't want alimony?" Alex asked. 

"No, your sister just wanted Nora taken care of," Judith frowned. "I'm telling you, if she would have just turned me loose, she never would have worked again! But no, your sister is much too kind!" 

"She got the one thing that mattered to her," Alex said as Nora called out to her. 

"I guess she did," Judith shrugged. "Tell Gavin I said hello!" 

"I will," Alex nodded. 

*** 

Pulling up to her parent's house they could see the smoke billowing from the back yard. 

"What's he trying to do?" Livy gasped. "Set the neighborhood on fire?" 

"Looks like it!" Alex agreed. 

They walked around the house and found Al waving the smoke from the grill. He coughed a couple of times as the smoke wafted out and surround him. 

"Somebody call the fire department!" Livy called out in tease. 

"Keep it up," Al threatened. "And you will go to bed hungry tonight!" 

"Better than burnt!" Alex came in to help Livy tease their father. 

"Alex," Marylyn called out bringing out the tray of meat for the grill. "I didn't know you were in town!" 

"I, unlike some, came to support Livy," Alex said angrily. Pointing out that her mother didn't do the same. 

"Well," Marylyn said sharply. "If she is going to go against God, I can't say I can support it!" 

"Go against God?" Alex rolled her eyes. "That is the biggest pile of horse shit I could possible believe could come out of your mouth!" 

"Alex," Livy tried. 

"Sorry Squirt," Alex said to Nora who was listening. "Cover your ears, I'm just getting warmed up!" Nora did as she was told. 

"You know, in all of your lectures about what God wants, I have never heard you say anything about how God feels about that son of a bitch cheating on Livy. Knocking up another member of your precious little church! Where is your outrage on that?" Alex fumed as her sisters came out. "What does you precious church feel about the sin that is permeating from within?" 

"The church is praying for all of them," Marylyn told her. Her eyes narrowing on her youngest daughter and her vocal challenge. "If Livy hadn't followed your lead, she would have a church to help her through these difficult times!" 

"What?" Alex growled. 

"Oh, you didn't know?" Marylyn laughed. "Livy has left the church, she has left God! Just...like...you! Next she will be living in sin like you I'm sure! She has lost her faith!" 

"You left the church?" Alex asked Livy. Livy nodded with a frown. 

"I haven't lost my faith in God, just your church," Livy said firmly to her mother. "My faith in God is just fine!" 

"Are we going to eat or argue?" Al asked them from the grill. 

"I don't know," Livy teased. "I'm pretty sure my baby sister could do both!" Livy hugged Alex for her defense. 

Gathering around the table, Al led them in prayer. He shook his head as his wife glared at him. 

"So," Al began, hoping to change the mood. "Tell us about your trip!" 

"What trip?" Krista asked. 

"Gavin and I went to Africa to help a med school friend," Alex said shortly. She was still stewing from her abbreviated argument with her mother. That was left hanging, it needed to be finished, but she didn't want to ruin her father's hope of a happy family dinner. 

Her mood was dour and she didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to rip on her mother some more. To finally have it out with her but her father's look said he wanted no part of that. 

"You went to Africa?" Ken asked her in shock. 

"I did," Alex told him, making eye contact with him and avoiding the looks of the rest of her family. "Pavy, that's Gavin's friend, he works for Doctors without Borders. He had his med supplies hijacked by the warlords, Gavin and I had to make sure he got the resupply that Gavin arranged." Alex shrugged like it was no big deal. 

"Keep going," Livy demanded. 

"We spent just over two weeks there, Gavin working on the refugees," Alex said with a shake of her head. 

"And?" Livy continued to cajole. She wanted her baby sister to brag on her accomplishments. To rub in the fact that she was successful despite what her mother and older sisters claimed. 

"I wound up giving inoculations to the kids from the villages nearby," Alex told them at the table looking to Livy who smiled and nodded that, yes, she was doing this on purpose. 

"And they gave her a name," Livy said proudly. "Pipi Malaika, which means Candy Angel!" Livy gave Alex a gentle shove of tease. "Our little sister is known the world over!" 

"That's a stretch!" Alex gasped. "A small part of Africa that has probably already forgotten me as they struggle to stay alive!" 

"That's amazing!" Ken raved. "Pipi Malaika!" 

"Stop," Alex begged. 

"You should be proud of those things honey!" Al told her. "You are making a difference!" 

"No, Gavin was saving lives," Alex argued. "I was just giving shots." 

"Shots that would save lives," Livy countered proudly. 

"Did you have any chance to spread the word of God?" Marylyn asked, taking the good mood that was building and crushing it with one caustic sounding sentence. 

"No," Alex shrugged with a roll of her eyes. Noting what she did wasn't good enough for her mother apparently. "I did have a witch doctor's daughter cast a spell on me...so I guess that means I'm not only going to Hell, I'm taking the express train!" She smiled nonchalantly as Livy giggled by her side. Knowing full well that was a shot at their mother. 

Nothing surprised Livy anymore with the way Alex stood up to their mother. It had gone unnoticed by Livy while Marylyn ruled her life. Now that Livy was bucking her mother's wishes, she realized all that Alex had to endure. Sometimes willingly, sometimes not. Either way, Alex came out on top on most occasions. And she was learning that Alex had it right. Live for yourself, let those who love you, love you. Those who judge you, judge you. But in the end, you only needed to be happy with yourself. 

"I don't think that is funny at all!" Marylyn pointed out. "Letting some demonic woman use the powers of Satan on you!" 

"Oh Mother," Alex shook her head. "The Devil has no power on me." 

"I think he does!" Marylyn countered. "You live in a den of heathens in Chicago. You don't go to church. You live in sin as an unmarried woman!" 

"Something she is about to remedy," Al said proudly. 

"What?" the rest of the table asked at once. It made Livy bark out a laugh and cover her smile. 

"Gavin and I are engaged," Alex said, the smile creeping across her face as she produced the ring. 

"Why were you hiding it?" Krista demanded. 

"I came up here, not to talk about my engagement, but to lend Livy my support in the hardest time of her life. Something others in the room should remember if they ever need help!" Alex said looking at her sisters Brandy and Krista. "She needed our support!" 

"We have been trying to talk her out of it!" Brandy tried. 

"Why?" Livy charged in. "Oh, that's right, I'm embarrassing you in front of your precious little church. Tough, deal with it because it's done!" 

"That doesn't mean we should be happy about it!" Krista snapped. 

"Nora, honey," Alex smiled pleasantly. "Cover your ears, Aunt Alex is about to say something not very nice." Nora did what was asked. 

"Go fuck yourself!" Alex growled. "Family should always come first, soon you won't have anybody but your church as it casts its nasty and wrong beliefs on the rest of us! Next up, walking along with the likes of the Westboro Baptist Church and their inbred clan! Congratulations, if you get any further from God's teaching, the witch doctor's daughter may be the only one that can save you!" 

"Enough," Al warned. "This is MY table. Enough." He shook his head and flexed his arm angrily digging into his food. 

"I'm sorry, Dad," Alex said. She looked to Nora and mouthed something wordlessly with a smile. 

"What?" Nora asked loudly with her hands still over her ears. 

"I asked if you wanted a hundred dollars...guess not!" Alex teased stealing one of her dad's old jokes. Which caused Al to smile somewhat. 

"What?" Nora asked again as Livy laughed at her daughter. She pulled her daughter's hands down. 

The meal went on, Alex answering questions about Africa. She looked to her mother from time to time only to see the steam rising from her mother's ears. She knew the woman was livid. Not only for Alex's stance and Livy's divorce, but for the way her father was ending arguments now. Bringing up the Bible's teaching about the man being in charge. She couldn't go against that and still purport herself a Christian. It was really bugging her and it was obvious to Alex. 

"So," Marylyn began slowly. "I'm assuming you are going to go to a local church for marriage classes?" 

"No," Alex shook her head. "We are not getting married in a church." Marylyn looked to Al who warned her silently with his eyes. "I'm afraid I would not support us paying for a wedding not held in a church!" 

"That's ok," Alex said with a disbelieving roll of her eyes. "You aren't paying for it anyway!" 

"We have paid for every daughter's wedding," Al pointed out. "We will pay for yours, it is tradition." 

"That...you will have to take up with Madelyn," Alex smiled and laughed as she thought about that. Her father and Madelyn going at it. Madelyn backed down from no one. "I dare you! No, I double dog dare you!" 

"Madelyn?" Livy asked. 

"Queen Madelyn!" Nora blurted. "Are we going to be at the castle?" 

"I'm afraid so," Alex winked at her. 

"Will Sir Charles be there?" Nora asked bouncing in her seat. 

"Of course," Alex laughed at her excitement. 

"Who is Queen Madelyn?" Al asked. 

"Madelyn is the one Gavin had to leave for, remember?" Alex asked him. Reminding him of the conversation at the table after Christmas. 

"Oh," Al nodded. "The woman Gavin looks to as a mother now?" 

"Exactly," Alex nodded. "What Madelyn wants, Madelyn usually winds up getting!" Alex laughed. "And she had made her demands pretty clear. She wants the wedding at her house, and she wants a huge elaborate deal. Gavin and her have already argued about it for hours now, she won't budge." 

"Sounds like a strong woman!" Ken pointed out. 

"Oh, you have no idea," Alex said with a shake of her head. "This woman, makes Congressmen beg. She is a heavy hitter in politics and in Chicago. She is the one that pulled strings to get the U.S. State Department off their ass and into the game to help us get the medical supplies to Pavy." 

"I spent four hours waiting to talk to someone," Alex groaned reliving her State Department visit with Ken. "She walks in and in five minutes, no less than five minutes, we were talking to the director of the State Department in Chicago. I ask her how, and she nonchalantly tells me she knows the Chairman of the Armed Services Committee who arranged for our little meeting." 

"You mean Senator...what's his name...from Texas?" Ken asked as he couldn't think of the name. 

"That's him," Alex agreed. 

"They say he might run for President," Ken told her. "He would be a good man to know if so!" 

"Madelyn has a lot of political contacts," Alex told him with a shake of her head. "As does Gavin, I guess." 

"So it's going to be at her place?" Al asked. 

"Yes," Alex nodded. "She is inviting everybody I guess, I saw her invitation list. It was several pages long!" 

"Are we on that list?" Al asked with a laugh. 

"I'll have to ask!" Alex told him. "You keep it up with that little attitude and I might just forget!" 

"We'd crash," Al warned her jokingly. "I'd dress up in a straw hat and overalls, put on some buck teeth and come in whooping and hollering, talking cement ponds and fishing poles. Big wad of chew in my mouth...you know, the stuff that would make you proud to call me Dad!" 

"Oh God! I don't doubt it!" Alex laughed shaking her head. "If I let you walk me down the aisle will you leave the straw hat at home?" 

She knew this would get his attention as when the other sisters had their wedding, her mother had planned them out. She wanted her father there with her in the pew of the church not with some duty to perform. Deep down she knew her father didn't like that, so she made sure to tell herself if she ever got married. Her father would walk her down the aisle. 

Al looked at her in shock. His eyes watering slightly. 

"You will walk me down the aisle, right?" Alex asked with a smirk. 

"Of course!" Al gushed happily. 

"So, it's the straw hat rule that is causing you to pause?" Alex teased. 

"To walk you down the aisle? I will wear whatever that woman wants!" Al said, the smile beaming. 

"Don't let her hear that! Making a deal with Madelyn, is like making a deal with the Devil! I have learned that!" Alex told him. "And I mean that in the most loving way possible!" Alex said to her mother knowing what she would say about that comment. 

"Can I do something?" Nora begged. 

"I'm sure I will need you somehow!" Alex assured her with a wink. 

"Yay! Aunt Alex is finally going to get married!" Nora screamed. 

"What's with this 'finally' stuff?" Alex asked her with a playful scowl. 

"Well," Livy shrugged. "We were starting to wonder if anybody was going to bite the bullet and live with that little attitude of yours!" Livy teased causing Nora and Al to laugh at the face of shock Alex gave them. 

*** 

"How was dinner?" Gavin asked her. 

"Typical," Alex grumped. She was stroking her wet hair as she stared at her computer. She was Skyping with Gavin. "I thought Dad was going to cry when I asked him to walk me down the aisle!" 

"He didn't do that with your sisters?" Gavin asked her. 

"No," Alex shook her head. "Mom planned them, and she didn't want Dad to do that!" 

"That's bullshit!" Gavin told her firmly. "If we have a girl, I'm walking her down the damn aisle!" 

"Or we aren't showing up!" Alex agreed. 

"That will show the little ungrateful bitch!" Gavin laughed as they complained about a daughter they didn't even have. 

"How was your day?" Alex asked him. 

"Pretty boring," Gavin admitted looking at the beauty that was about to become his wife. "And lonely." 

"I know," Alex smiled. "I wish you were here." 

"Me too," Gavin nodded. "You back at that rat hole of a hotel?" 

"Hey!" Alex barked. "No, I'm at the Super 8 in Averin!" 

"Ooooh," Gain teased. "The Super 8!" 

"Hey, it's better than that tent in Africa!" Alex defended. 

"Barely," Gavin frowned. "I miss you." 

"I miss you," Alex said with a slight quivering of her lip. She watched Gavin's eyes light up as an idea ran through his mind. She could see it long before he brought it up. 

"Take your clothes off," Gavin demanded. 

"What?" Alex asked with a bashful smile. 

"That's twenty," Gavin pointed out with a smile. "Take your clothes off." 

Alex knelt on her knees and tilted the camera on the computer up so he could see her fully. She slowly undid the top of her pajamas and pulled it from her body to reveal her breasts in the soft glow of the computer screen. She looked at Gavin who was smiling his secret smile. She slowly pulled her shorts down, revealing herself to him as she maneuvered to pull them off her legs. 

She now knelt in the submissive position on the bed...naked. 

"Your hands are now my hands," Gavin told her. "You will do exactly what I say, when I say it." 

"Yes Sir," she said breathily. 

The excitement was already beginning to build in her. Her stomach butterflying and her sex warming just at the idea Gavin was controlling her from hundreds of miles away. 

"Take your left hand," he instructed. "And gently rub your breasts." 

Alex slowly lifted her hand and ran her hand up her stomach to her chest. She encircled one breast then the other. Rubbing her palm gently on her nipples causing them to spring to attention. Her breathing began to shudder with excitement as she watched the twinkle in Gavin's eyes and knew he was pleased. 

"Now, take your other hand and play with your nipples at the same time," Gavin instructed. 

Alex let her other hand come into play, taking her nipples gently into her fingers. She rolled them with her tips as he watched his screen. Watching her body respond to her manipulations. 

"Wet your fingers," he commanded. 

She brought her hand to her lips and sucked erotically on her fingers before pulling them out slowly to show they were wet. 

"Use them to wet your nipples," he told her. 

She dropped it to her nipples and looked down as her fingers wetted her nipples slightly. 

"Now," he said interrupting her. "I want you to pinch them tightly, as I would, if I were there, and don't let go until I tell you to!" 

"Yes Sir!" she said hoarsely. 

She gripped her already hardened nipples tightly between her thumb and forefinger. Squeezing them tightly, pushing them flat in between her fingers. She hissed and held her breath as he watched. Her nipples barking at her for their release. 

"Not yet," he warned her what her eyes were begging for. 

She nodded. She tilted her head up as the pain shot through her, her nipples screaming in heat. Her sex watering, begging for some attention. She dropped her head to look at him on her screen. He was smiling pleasantly at her as he watched from Chicago. 

"Ok," he smiled. "You can let go." 

She released them with a pleasured sigh. 

"Now touch them ever so gently," he told her. She let her hands barley brush her sensitive skin and it caused her to 'yip' which brought out his smile bigger now. 

"Take your right hand," he said drawing her eyes down to him, and slide your middle finger into that delicious pussy!" She slid her hand down and was surprised at the heat she had already generated with this little scene. 

Her finger slid in to the palm easily. 

"Oh Sir!" she gasped. 

"Tell me what you feel," he ordered. 

"It feels like my pussy is on fire!" she told him. 

"NO," he said firmly. "That is MY pussy, just because it's between your legs that doesn't make it yours. It's mine!' 

"Yes Sir!" Alex gasped. "Your pussy is so wet!" 

"I like it when it's wet," Gavin hummed from his side of the screen. "I like the feel of it when it grabs my finger, or my cock, when you are excited and pulls me in." 

"Oh how I wish I had your cock here now!" Alex smiled as she pulled her finger out. 

"I didn't say stop," Gavin reminded. 

"No, Sir," she smiled. "I just wanted to show you how wet I was!" She held her finger close to the camera and he could see it glisten slightly. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 33



"Taste it," he said firmly. 

She quickly put her finger in her mouth and slowly pulled it out. Her secret smile coming out as she thought about how far she had come in the time she had been with Gavin. From somewhat prudish, to sexual fiend who was about to masturbate in front of her boyfriend on the computer. No her fiancée, she corrected with a smile. A fiancée who controlled her regardless of the distance. 

"I'm jealous," he told her. "I want to taste you!" 

"I'm delicious," she smiled devilishly. 

"Put it back in my pussy," he commanded. 

She did so quickly. 

"Fuck yourself," he commanded. 

She began to slide her finger in and out of her, the soft sounds of her wetness she could hear, but she wondered if he could. She hoped he could. 

"Put a second finger in," he told her. "Fuck my pussy harder." She obeyed as she bit her bottom lip. 

Soon her stomach muscles were flexing in the low light. She began to lift slightly off the bed as her thighs began to tense up as her orgasm built. Her hand hammered at her, her palm inadvertently slapping her clit causing her to 'yip' in sexual pleasure. 

She looked down at the screen and saw him with his hands clasped together, watching the show intently. His chin sitting on his interlaced fingers. She smiled as she increased the speed of her fingers as her orgasm approached. 

She let her head fall back, her mouth open as it built, her legs flexing even more as she dug her fingers angrily into her sex. The liquid of her pussy coating her fingers making them slide in and out easily. 

"May I cum Sir," she asked still with her head back. 

"No," he said firmly. Her head snapped up, her eyes crazed as she wasn't prepared for that, her hand stopping immediately. "I didn't say stop." He pointed out angrily. She began to move her fingers again. 

"I'm sorry Sir," she gasped under heavy breath. "I was about to cum!" 

"I did not give you permission," he told her. She nodded as her fingers were bringing her back to the edge of madness. 

Her eyes begged him but he slowly shook his head in denial. She whimpered. She wondered if she could sneak it by him, then she knew that would be a big mistake, if she didn't sneak it by him, there would be consequences. 

"I see it on your face," he said with a cryptic smile. "I would advise against it!" 

"Damn Jedi!" she said, her breathing forcing the words to come out in gasps. Her smile letting him know she was pleased. 

"Please Sir!" she begged. "I'll give you anything you want! Please let me cum!" 

"I have everything I want," he said folding his hands back and returning his chin to its perch. "I have you." 

Her smile broadened although that was replaced with the grimace as she tried to hold her orgasm at bay. Back to the baseball scores, but with spring training just now starting, there were less scores to recall. Meaning, less to distract her from her pleasurable misery! 

Her fingers tried to slow but he warned her with an "eh, eh, eh!" Which meant continue at the full speed. She bit her lip in hopes to divert the pleasure, but that didn't work. 

"Use your other hand to pull on your nipples," he commanded. 

With a shaking hand she took hold of one of her nipples, causing the pleasure 'yip' to escape. 

"Please Sir!" she begged. 

"No, not just yet," he said softly marveling over her. 

"Holy fuck! You can be sooo mean sometimes," she smiled. 

"If I was going to be mean," he said firmly. "I would tell you to stop, and go to bed...without cumming." He pointed out. 

This had her snapping her head to the screen to see if that was going to happen. She shook her head pleadingly, knowing that was a wasted effort but she wanted it on the record. 

"Please Sir," she said, her voice raising with her excitement. 

As did her hips, which were plotting against her as they began to thrust into her fingers. She didn't even realize it until she looked down at her hand, which was now like the little Dutch boy with his fingers in the Dam, trying to plug the leaks. Her hand was coated with her sex juice. She hoped he didn't think she came, that was about to happen anyway as she couldn't stop looking at how erotic it looked to finger herself with Gavin watching. 

"Please!" she gasped as her entire body shook. "Sir!" 

"Ok little one," he smiled. "Cum for me!" 

Her head dropped back and her open mouth scream was silent as her orgasm took hold of her body and her voice and forced it into rigor mortis. The locking of her joints made fingering herself difficult but her orgasm hung there on the precipice, not releasing the way her head begged for it. It seemed even her orgasm was conspiring against her to drive her mad. 

"Don't stop fingering yourself," he warned her. 

She nodded because her voice was gone! What he didn't understand was, so was her muscle control. Her orgasm was being mean and not releasing her. 

When it did, it gushed from her, her voice unclogging in her throat as she let out a breathy scream of pleasure, it echoed off the empty room she was in, bringing a smile from him. 

"Don't stop," he reminded as her cum squirted from her, shooting out onto her hand like she was peeing there. Her smile permanently plastered on her face as her fingers made gush after gush exit from her body, coating her hand first, then it leaked to the bed coating the bed sheets. 

"HOLY FFFUUUUCCCKKK!" she let out as she continued to pummel her clit with her fingers. Watching as shot after shot sprang from her. When her body stopped squirting, she nearly collapsed, her body becoming limp. 

She looked to the screen and saw Gavin wink at her. 

"Oh my God!" she said in interrupted gasps. "I thought it was only you who could make me do that!" she said her chest heaving, the words coming out broken like she had just run a marathon. 

"I am," he said firmly. "Tonight I just used your hands to do it." She looked at her hand and it was completely soaked. As if she had put her hand in water up to her wrist. 

"Set the computer on the stand next to the bed," he told her. "I want to watch you sleep." 

"Yes Sir," she gasped as her breath slowly came to her. 

She moved the computer to the night stand. 

"Goodnight, my love," she told him. Exhaustion coming to her quickly now. 

"Goodnight, Beautiful," he said back. 

She fell asleep with him watching, she woke some time later. She didn't know how long she had slipped into the land of Nod. But he was still watching her. 

"You're still watching me?" she asked him sleepily. 

"How can I possibly sleep when I have opened a window to heaven?" he said shaking his head as it rested on the pillow. "Not possible, not with you there, and me here. No I'll be watching you until forever." 

She smiled and kissed her fingers and pushed it to the screen. 

"I love you," she whispered. 

"I love you more," he winked back.



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 34



Chapter 42

Livy followed Alex into her parent's house, they had been laughing all day. Alex in a good mood because her energy level had finally returned after a week of being home. Livy happy that Alex was there with all her positive energy. It helped her avoid the doldrums of her mother and older sisters with their holier than thou attitude and looking down their noses as they had been doing since she moved to Averin.

Leaving the church hadn't been the big deal that Livy thought it would be, then again, having Father Jack for spiritual advice sure made that transition a lot easier. Having a church that believed in God and His teaching of love and acceptance was also very helpful.

She did find the occasional person who seemed to grimace slightly when she told them about her and Nora but no husband. But Father Jack was always preaching about letting God do the judging so most of the congregation welcomed her with open arms.

It reminded Livy of what Alex said about throwing the first stone. Livy decided, maybe Alex was closer to God than all of them combined, even though she didn't go to church. Even though she lived in sin, as her mother claimed. If she lived in sin and was damned for it, why was she so fortunate to find a man to love her the way Gavin did? Father Jack had told her that love was God's domain. He dispersed it to those who earned it.

If that was the case, Alex was in God's good graces. The stories of the little things Gavin did for her. The spoiling, which always had Alex rolling her eyes, even when she talked about them, had Livy jealous. She saw the jealous looks from Krista and Brandy as well. No they didn't get the little things like Alex did. None of them did. Krista and Brandy doubted the stories, until Livy told them of the stunning choker she saw there at the condo.

"Ok," Alex asked as they peeled their coats off. "So what are you doing about church?"

"I have a church," Livy smiled.

"You do?"

"I do," Livy nodded. "I'm going to the Catholic Church in Averin. Father Jack has been counseling me about God, poker, and accepting who I am."

"Wait," Alex shook her head. "You are going to a Catholic Church?" She gasped in disbelief. According to their mother, the Catholics were actually worse off than non-believers! Livy nodded with a knowing smile.

"Does Mom know?" Alex asked her, taking full note of the little smile on her sister's face.

"Are you crazy?" Livy choked out in a soft laugh. "Like I don't have enough trouble right now!"

"Ok," Alex agreed. "So Father Jack?"

"Yeah," Livy nodded with a broad smile. "He has been quite the lifesaver!"

Alex looked to her suspiciously. The mischievous grin creeping across Alex's face had Livy shaking her head. Whatever was going through her little sister's head wasn't good! She had been around her long enough to know, that her little grin meant some sort of smart ass remark was coming.

"What?" Livy finally had to ask.

"You don't have some sort of Thorn Birds thing going, do you?" Alex asked in a half tease referencing the popular book and TV mini-series starring Richard Chamberlain and Rachel Ward.

"What?" Livy gasped and laughed at the same time. "NO!" she responded firmly. Her laughter had Alex raising her eyebrows at her.

"No," Livy said again getting her laughter under control. "Father Jack has been fixing the holes in my faith." She assured Alex.

"So, he's not a zealot?" Alex smiled.

"Oh, he's a zealot, but totally about God's love," Livy laughed.

"Poker?" Alex asked.

"Yeah," Livy nodded. "I'm getting pretty good at beating the holy men in my community."

"Explain," Alex demanded.

"All the preachers come to Father Jack's for poker night," Livy explained.

"No shit?" Alex scoffed in disbelief.

"No shit," Livy repeated with a smile. "They try and convince each other that they are better men of God than the others. All the while, I'm stealing pot after pot!" Livy mimicked pulling in a large pot of money with both arms.

"You will go to Hell for stealing from holy men, you know that right?" Alex giggled.

"Hey, I'm doing God's work," Livy defended. "Holy men shouldn't gamble, I'm trying to show them the error of their ways!"

"Hey Dad," Alex smiled as they found him at the table. "Are you ok?" She asked when he looked up at her. His face was a little ashen and he seemed to be having a bit of trouble breathing.

"Yeah," Al nodded. "I'm fine! How much damage did you ladies do?" He joked in reference to the shopping trip trying to divert the concern from him.

"We left a couple of stores still standing," Livy told him as she kissed his cheek. "You look a little tired." She warned him. "You coming down with something?"

"Yeah, it's spring, maybe my allergies are kicking up," Al shrugged.

"Never bothered you before," Alex pointed out sitting down feeling his head for a fever.

"I'm not as young as I used to be!" Al countered with a grunt.

"You are still my dad!" Alex said proudly. "Did you call Madelyn?"

"I did," he frowned.

"Another one bites the dust!" Alex teased in tempo with the popular song by Queen. "Told ya, she is one tough hombre!"

"That she is!" Al nodded with a twisted frown. "I would have thought she would have at least let me contribute! But nooooo, she was downright brutish!"

"I'm sorry Dad, you are a tough cookie, but nothing compares to Madelyn!" Alex sighed with a shake of her head thinking of all the arguments she had with the woman since they had met. Then the arguments Gavin had attempted.

"Any chance Gavin can help?" Al asked hopefully. He wasn't comfortable with this unknown woman footing the bill for his daughter's marriage.

"Gavin has less sway than I do!" Alex huffed. "I mean, she looks on him like he is her son...she treats him that way...she will not break! I gave up trying."

"I just don't like her paying for all of it!" Al groused.

"Dad," Alex shook her head. "Trust me, once you see her place...you will realize, she can afford it."

"It has nothing to do with whether or not she can afford it!" Al warned her.

"I know," Alex shook her head. "But she has no kids, no heir to leave her fortune...Gavin is it."

"I'm not done trying," Al said firmly.

"Like losing do you?" Alex teased. He glared at her as she kissed his cheek.

"When are you leaving again?" Al smiled.

***

Alex was washing the dishes after lunch that she and Livy had prepared for the three of them. Marylyn walking in had Alex tensing slightly. She had promised herself that she would not argue with her anymore around her father. She knew it bothered him.

"Still here?" Marylyn asked as she pulled groceries out of the bag and began to place them in the refrigerator.

"Am I not welcome here?" Alex asked, her voice tight with her effort to keep her emotions in check. Her heart began beating harder in her chest. To keep from letting her mother goad her into another argument.

"This is your home," Marylyn said. Which Alex found didn't really answer her question.

"Mom," Alex said resting her hands on the edge of the sink. "Do we always have to fight?"

"You seem to like it," Marylyn told her continuing to put the groceries up.

Alex turned to her with the edges of her eyes blurring with tears.

"Is that what you think?" Alex asked her. The tremor in her voice caused Marylyn to look at her. She nodded seeing the tears.

"Why would you ever think that?" Alex asked her.

"You do it so well," Marylyn pointed out.

"Because I had to learn how to," Alex told her wiping her single tear. "I don't know why you don't love me."

"I don't love you?" Marylyn gasped. "Why am I fighting so hard to save you?"

Alex dropped her head. She thought about that statement. Her mother was trying to save her? Alex left her head down as she thought about that statement.

"What if you are wrong?" Alex asked her softly.

"Wrong about what?" Marylyn asked her sharply.

"All of it," Alex asked lifting her head. "What if God doesn't want you to be the way your church says you have to be. What if, God only wants you to follow the one rule Jesus has set down? What if the rest of the Bible is just for guidance?"

"What is Jesus's one rule?" Marylyn asked.

Alex walked over and put her arms around her mother. Marylyn stood there a moment in shock that Alex had done so before wrapping her own arms around her daughter.

"John chapter 13 verse 34; 'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.'" Alex whispered within the embrace.

"What if, we aren't supposed to argue with one another that their belief is wrong? What if, we are just supposed to accept the person in front of us just as they are, no exceptions or demands of them? What if, God sent His Son to set the world straight and that we are only supposed to love one another. The sinner and the Saint? The liar and the faithful? The lost and the righteous? Gay or straight?"

"Maybe the problems in the world can be solved by God's word...but we have to start with the one rule. The rule that Jesus lived day in and day out, from the prostitute He saved from stoning, to the thief He saved while they both were crucified? Even the love He showed for those who were murdering Him...He asked God to forgive them. Maybe that is all we are supposed to do?" Alex leaned back. "Love. Nothing else?"

"My church has a mission to spread the word of God, to teach those who don't believe that God is great!" Marylyn told her firmly pushing Alex's arms from her. "Beware the wolf who comes in sheep's clothing!" Alex dropped her head and nodded. Now she was being equated to the devil. The wolf. In her mind she thought of Gavin, the Wolf, but a wolf in every good sense.

"My Church will sing his praises on every street corner at the top of our lungs! We will rejoice at His coming and shed no tears for those we leave behind in the sewer of sinners in this world."

Alex forced her smile to break her lips. She nodded as the tear rolled down her nose.

"Matthew chapter six; 'Be careful that you don't practice your religion in front of people to draw their attention. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father who is in Heaven. Whenever you give to the poor, don't blow your trumpet as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets so that they may get praise from people. I assure you, that's the only reward they'll get."

"I memorized that verse, because I love you," Alex said to her mother as she moved to the door. "Your beloved Church is not of God, any church that purports the idea that they are above all...is not built on the foundation of Christ. A man who washed the feet of his disciples. A man who loved a woman he did not know and saved her from death. A man who forgave the very people who wished him dead." Alex turned to face her mother who stood there staring at the table in deep thought.

"Dad will walk me down the aisle at my wedding," Alex said firmly. "I want you to be a part of it. If you want to be. But know this, this is my day. This is the day I prove to you that love is given by God himself...and He gave me Gavin. The man I love. The man I will bear children with. The man who loves me for all that I am. Both sinner....and saint."

"If you cannot be kind to those I love," Alex said her voice gaining strength. "Do not come. I don't want you there. Mother...this is the end of me fighting with you. It is killing Dad inside to see us at each other's throat. So for my love for him, I will respect you and treat you the way he wants you treated. Not because you have earned it. But because he has."

When Marylyn had gathered her breath back she looked to the door where Alex once stood but she was gone.

***

"What did you say to Alex?" Al growled at her as she sat over her coffee.

"Nothing," Marylyn said turning her eyes to him.

"Why is she leaving a day early then?" Al barked as he rolled his head to relieve the stress building there. "She said she wasn't leaving until Thursday!"

"Your daughter doesn't want to be here," Marylyn said getting up and dumping her cold untouched coffee in the sink. "She hates me, she hates my beliefs."

"So," Al gasped with a shake of his head. "Is Livy next then? Going to push them both away?"

"They make their choices," she told him with her back to him.

"No," Al disagreed. "You are making those choices for them. In the end, you will lose it all."

"What?" she turned angrily.

"I don't know what happened to my wife," Al said slowly. "The woman I fell in love with, but it is obvious that she is gone. Am I next? If I disagree with your precious church, will you push me away?"

"No," Marylyn gasped. "I would never dream of such a thing!"

"Oh, but you have," Al told her. "The moment you pushed Alex away. Now it's Livy, next it will be me because I love them, and I will stand with them. Against your church. And now against you." Al grunted and pain washed through him and out his arm. "One last thing, if you do anything to hurt Alex on her wedding...all you will have is your church."

He turned and left his wife with her bewildered look in the kitchen alone. The last statement left no room for interpretation. It shocked Marylyn to her very core.

***

Alex left early the next morning from her hotel, she drove all the way home in anger mixed with sadness. Her mind relived the whole scene. The words, the way her mother pushed her loving embrace away. The coldness in her mother's eyes. Alex could tell, she was dead to her mother for all intents and purposes.

"Good evening, Ms. Lasko," Mike said from the counter as she walked in. Alex forced a smile but said nothing as she walked to the elevator and waited for it.

"Are you ok Alex?" Mike's voice came again. She looked to him and nodded, he watched her. She then thought of it, was this the first time he had called her by her first name? It was always the formal address before.

"Yes, Mike, thank you for asking," she said for her first words, but even the sound of her voice betrayed her true feelings.

She stepped on the elevator and pushed the button for her floor. The doors closed and Alex let her head drop and the tears came. She tried to stop them but they came anyway. With a shaking hand she struggled to open the locked door of the condo. After trying multiple tries she was able to open it.

Gavin was gone and that made her cry harder, she needed him now. She needed his arms around her. His voice to soothe her, to assure her that it was going to be alright. Then she remembered. She wasn't supposed to be back until Friday. He wasn't even expecting her today.

She walked into the spare room which was converted back into her studio. She saw the easel there and walked to it. Placing a blank canvass on it she stared at it for a few seconds. Pulling her paints out, she began working feverishly. She didn't even bother with putting on her protective clothes to keep the paint off her dress.

Colors of red and orange, splashes of black. Her brush ripped the colors on, bursting in her anger. The angry face of the one woman that shouldn't be so hateful towards her. The tears streaked down Alex's face. The outline of her mother appeared in the fire, Alex slowed to get the eyes right. The eyes she saw yesterday. The cold unloving eyes that cut her to the bone.

Alex stepped back after a couple of hours, the colors said it all. Her anger. Her pain. Her burgeoning hatred. The sadness, it all erupted within her like a volcano. She stared at the picture of her mother, wrapped in flames of red and orange. It looked like Marylyn was on fire, it wasn't conscious in Alex's mind, but there it was. What her heart was feeling.

Rage took control, she grabbed the newly painted inferno and smashed it violently across the easel breaking both. She continued to slam the portrait of her mother into bits on the floor, her hands gripping so tightly that the splinters from the wood dug into her skin causing her to throw the demolished face into a pile with the easel.

She collapsed onto the floor in a fit of tears, the paint she was using now all over. It was on the floor, which was covered in the heavy tarp, there was some on the walls but mostly it was on her. Mixing with her blood which oozed out of the wounds left when the wood ripped her flesh from her hands.

From the corner of her eye she saw him and closed her eyes while on the floor. Her tears streaming down her face. She looked to him, Gavin, as he sat in the chair by the door. His legs crossed comfortably over one another. His hand propping up his chin. His dark eyes watching her. His face blank.

She crawled on the floor to him and rested her weary mind in his lap. His hand coming to her hair and stroking it gently. She clutched his leg with her arms as she cried into his pant legs, drowning the fabric with her tears, her paint and her blood.

"I've lost my mother," Alex said when she could speak.

"Only if you give up on her," Gavin said softly.

"She doesn't love me," Alex countered.

"Hate cannot defeat love," Gavin whispered. "It never has...it never will. Love conquers all."

"Please be right," Alex sobbed as she buried his face into his leg.

Gavin slipped from the chair and sat with her on the floor. He put his arms around her and held her tightly. Letting her cry with no more words.

***

Chapter 43

Alex sat in the tub, her head down, the hot water warmly enveloping her. Soothing her. Gavin sat on the outside of the tub in a chair, his face scrunched up as he picked at the splinters in her hand that came from her symbolic destruction of her mother. She winced from time to time, as he pulled out a sliver.

"What do I do?" Alex finally asked him from her trance like state.

"What makes you think you have to do something?" he asked back never moving his eyes from the task at hand.

"She is poisoning everybody with her puritanical bullshit!" Alex told him firmly.

"Who are you to judge?" Gavin asked lifting his eyes.

"What?"

"Listen to yourself, you want her to accept your way of thinking, but not willing to follow your own advice," Gavin pointed out. "It is not your job to point out other people's flaws. Your job is to either accept them as they are...or cut them from your life. There is no middle ground, if you try to find that middle ground you get to the point where you are slamming yourself, twisting yourself into knots."

Alex thought about that. Holy shit. She couldn't believe her own hypocritical actions.

"Do you think I'm wrong?" Alex asked him.

"That is not important, who is right? Who is wrong? There is no right or wrong. There just is. What is right for you, isn't right for your mother. What is right for your mother isn't right for you. Finding someone to blame is what is driving you apart," Gavin said putting the tweezers down.

"How long were you sitting in the chair?" Alex asked him.

"I was home twenty minutes after Mike called me," Gavin sighed.

"Mike called you?" she asked him sorrowfully.

"He was worried about you," he pointed out. "He called and said he felt you were upset."

"I came home and saw you painting, the look on your face...the body language...the colors you were using. They all screamed the same thing, you were angry. I know your art is therapeutic, so I left you alone," Gavin stood and went to his bag and pulled out antibiotic ointment and gauze wrap. He sat down and continued taking care of her wounds.

"But let me make one thing perfectly clear," Gavin said with his jaw locked as he continued to tend to her medically. Alex swallowed hard, the tone he was using was enough. "You are never to injure yourself again, you...all of you...belong to me and I will not have what belongs to me damaged. If you need to throw a temper tantrum find an outlet that doesn't damage what I own."




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 34



He looked at her without lifting his head and she saw the smile. He meant it, but not in a harsh way.

"Yes Sir," she whispered back. "I am sorry."

***

"Are you and Mom alright?" Livy's voice caused Al to turn.

"Yes," he said turning back around to keep the lie from her.

"Try again," Livy demanded.

"Your mother and I are fighting," Al said. "It's nothing new, after all these years we have a right to fight!" He turned and winked at her. "Don't you agree?"

"That depends on why you are fighting," Livy said coming to him. "I'm sorry that it's me."

"It's not you," Al said firmly. "It's us, this has nothing to do with you."

"I love you Dad, but you are so full of it!" Livy smiled. She appreciated the effort he was giving to try and protect her. "If I hadn't gotten a divorce..,"

"You would have been miserable," Al cut her off. "That would have made Nora miserable, which in turn would have bled into everything else!" He turned and put a hand to his daughter's face.

"This is my fault," Livy said again.

"No, it's mine," Al told her sharply. "I let her push one daughter away with her religious bullshit with me on the sidelines. To this day I haven't forgiven myself for my silence. I won't make that mistake again. No matter what that entails."

"Dad," Livy let the tear fall. "Don't...I'm not worth losing everything you have worked so hard for. All the years of marriage...I'm just not worth it!"

"Bullshit," he said firmly. "You are worth it all! You deserve it all, like Alex has. She has a good man, a timeless love. You deserve that as well. What you did took incredible courage! Incredible sacrifice! No, this fight should have been had years ago, I just lacked the courage."

"But your marriage is important!" Livy cried. She could feel the decision was made on Al's part. His line in the sand was drawn, and it was drawn around her. Would he end over thirty years of marriage because of her?

"My marriage will live and die with your mother," he told her. "She must decide, her church or me."

"Dad, don't!" Livy begged.

"It's already been done," Al exhaled deeply. "Now...well now she must decide."

Livy clutched at her father as she cried into his chest. His Old Spice attempting to comfort her through her tears. She was now jeopardizing two marriages. Her own now failed marriage, and because of it, her parent's.

Al shooed her into the house so he could finish working on the mower. He needed to get it ready for the mowing season. She hesitated at the door, but went in. Her mother was at the table with her Bible and her preacher, Rev. Sellers.

"Good afternoon, Olivia," Rev. Sellers said as he held her mother's hands.

"Good afternoon," Livy said back looking at her mother. "Is everything alright?"

"You mean besides the fact you have destroyed your marriage? Besides the fact my youngest daughter doesn't want me at her wedding? Besides the fact my husband is forcing me to choose between him and my faith?" Marylyn snapped.

Livy lowered her head.

"I hope you are satisfied with yourself," Marylyn told her harshly.

"What?"

"Because of your selfishness, the devil has entered our lives to destroy us!" Marylyn barked angrily. "You opened the door for him, invited him in and now look at the damage he has caused. All because of your selfish desires to divorce!"

"That's not fair," Livy said softly.

"What's not fair," Rev. Sellers told her angrily. "Is that you have opened yourself up to temptation and now the infection has metastasized into all of your lives."

"What about Don?" Livy asked him. "Have you said anything about his sin?"

"Don has been forgiven," Sellers told her. "He paid his debt to God and the Church."

"He has gotten another woman pregnant! A woman who was not his wife!" Livy growled the tears flowing down her face.

"What he did was not a sin," Sellers told her. Livy's jaw dropped. "Even Abraham had multiple wives. In second Samuel, God says that if David's wives and concubines were not enough, He would have given him more!"

"Are you saying polygamy is ok?" Livy gasped.

"I'm saying God does not punish men for taking multiple women," Sellers told her. "Perhaps if you would have done your wifely duties to his satisfaction, Don wouldn't have had a need to seek it elsewhere!"

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Livy gasped, her brain fighting with itself to understand what was being said. Because what was being said surely wasn't being said! This must be some sort of nightmare. To have her mother and her former preacher telling her that it was ok for Don to take multiple women. That it was her fault for her mother's unhappiness as well as Don's unfaithfulness.

"Get out of my house!" Marylyn barked, standing up suddenly. "Take you sin and your devil and never come back! How dare you speak to my guest in my home like that?"

Livy's lower lip trembled as she looked to her mother. She was shocked into her frozen state.

"I said get out!" Marylyn said again. Livy left in a run, her hands shaking as she started her car and sped off.

***

Father Jack opened his door to a crying mess. Livy nearly collapsed in his arms and he had to half carry, half drag her into the residence. Livy struggled with her breathing and with her tears as she retold what had happened.

"Jesus Christ," Jack gasped. He tilted Livy's head up. "Listen to me, the problem isn't with your mother. I thought perhaps she was just misinterpreting God's word...but now I know. This has nothing to do with your mother. This has to do with her spiritual leader!"

"What?" Livy asked him.

"I am responsible for my flock," Jack told her. "If they fail, the fault isn't their own, its mine and I will answer for it! I must lead my flock with the true word of God. This man, your mother's spiritual guide...he is no better than David Koresh! He is using God's word to twist and turn his children against God himself!"

"Then why is it in the Bible? Does God say men can do that?" Livy begged for clarification.

Father Jack stood and nearly flipped his coffee table over as his temper was oozing out. Livy watched him go to the window and stand there for a few moments not saying anything at all.

"We are not Hebrew," Father Jack finally said. "You cannot take one book and separate its rules from the new book!" He turned around. "Only the Israelites are to follow the Old Testament alone...Christians must follow Christ!"

"In the Bible, the Old Testament allowed that. The first instance of polygamy was in Genesis...Lamech married two women." Father Jack turned around. "Yes Abraham, Jacob David and Solomon all had multiple wives. But again, only the Hebrew follow the Old Testament exclusively. In the New Testament, Timothy and Titus describe marriage as the husband of one wife."

"So he is wrong?" Livy asked.

"In the beginning there was only Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Eve, and Jessica, Stacy, Lucille, Janet or any combination thereof!" Jack said smiling. He came back and sat with Livy. "Marriage, is of one man and one woman. The vows are very specific. 'Forsake all others'."

Livy fell into him and he hugged her firmly.

"The problems with that church reveal themselves," Jack whispered. "It is led by an immoral man, the roots. If the roots are decayed, the tree will be decayed."

"How do I save my mother?" Livy asked him.

"I don't know," Jack admitted. "This will sound harsh, but...I don't care about your mother. You are in my flock. You are my charge. I will do whatever I can to help you in your times of need, but I will not try to save those who do not wish to be saved."

"Thank you Father," Livy smiled enjoying his embrace. "Why are all the good men taken?"

"What do you mean?" Jack asked swallowing hard.

"My sister Alex found a great man, here you are, another great man...taken," Livy whispered. He didn't respond.

Instead he held Livy and after a few moments she began to think of something Alex had joked about. Thorn Birds. She sat up quickly.

"I'm sorry Father," Livy said as quickly as it popped into her head.

"For what?" Jack asked her confused at her sudden distance.

"I'm being inappropriate," Livy told him. Jack shook his head.

"How?" He asked her.

"I've got to go," Livy left hurriedly leaving Jack on the couch.

***

"What happened to your hand?" Alex cringed as soon as the question left Madelyn's lips.

"A temper tantrum," Alex admitted turning to the woman in the doorway.

"Has Gavin seen it?" she asked. Alex nodded. "Are you ok?" Again she nodded.

"Family problems," Alex told her.

"Your mother?" Madelyn asked point blank. Alex looked up at her and stared for a moment before nodding. "Is she angry that I want the wedding here?"

"No! Nothing like that! She believes I am the work of the devil," Alex told her. "That I have infected my sister into a divorce."

"The fucker that knocked up another woman had nothing to do with it?" Madelyn hissed as she sat down. Alex blurted out a laugh at the venom. She shrugged.

"My mother felt Livy should have stayed with him, not gotten a divorce. She said it looks bad in their church," Alex whispered as she flipped through the bridal magazine.

"Hmm," Madelyn sighed. "What does she say about your proclivity for kinky sex?" Alex laughed heartily. "I see, she doesn't know!"

"No way, no how!" Alex laughed.

"Well, I guess I'll have to eliminate the whips and chains room!" Madelyn said seriously as she wrote it down on the note pad then drew a firm line through it. Alex looked to her with her jaw open. Madelyn winked at her that she was kidding.

"I want to throw you an engagement party," Madelyn told her as she took a sip of her tea.

"No, that is not necessary," Alex shook her head. Madelyn dropped her head down to the table exasperated.

"Are we going to have to go through all this fighting...again?" the elder woman asked.

"No," Alex laughed at her demeanor.

"I want to meet your family," Madelyn told her lifting her head. "I want to meet your friends. I want to make sure everybody knows just how happy you two are. I want the world to see what love is!"

"Yes Mistress," Alex said with a shake of her head.

"I like this new Alexandria," Madelyn smiled. "Less argument!"

"That's only because I know it's a losing fight," Alex told her with a kiss to the woman's hand.

"I was married a long time Dearie, I know how to win a fight!" Madelyn smiled. She stared at Alex for the longest time. Alex saw it but said nothing at first.

"Problem?" She finally had to ask.

"You really are quite spectacular," Madelyn smiled. "I knew it that first night. There was something about you...something I couldn't place."

"Really?" Alex scoffed.

"I have watched him over the years," Madelyn said with a tear in her eye. "I have watched Carla's infection of him with a disease of sadness and fear and knew that there was only one cure."

"What cure was that?" Alex asked.

"You," Madelyn replied plainly. "You are a walking, talking cure of broken hearts."

"Whatever," Alex shook her head.

"No," Madelyn said firmly. "Not 'whatever'. You saved his life, and mine."

"How did I save yours?" Alex asked her.

"By reminding me of what I had," Madelyn smiled. "Reminding me that love is truly a gift...I wanted Gavin to find it, so I could see the transformation."

"What transformation?"

"From cold, unfeeling doctor," Madelyn said softly. "To warm, loving man. He was so gifted with his abilities, but he hid behind them so well! All his relationships became a patient. He giving his best, but leaving himself distanced enough to be unemotional."

"Then you came along," Madelyn laughed as she relived that first night, their first meeting.

"Elizabeth brought me in to replace her," Alex shrugged.

"Do you think, for one moment, that Elizabeth made the choice?" Madelyn asked.

"Of course," Alex said to her.

"Do you think you were the only girl Elizabeth tried to bring in?" Madelyn gasped. Alex nodded. "Oh please! That girl was looking for her exit for months! Gavin turned down each and every pet she tried!"

"What?" Alex asked, the shock causing it to be a whisper.

"Oh yes! Elizabeth tried multiple different pets! Kelly for one, Julie for another. There were several girls that Gavin rejected," Madelyn told her. "We talked about it, he knew Elizabeth wanted an out, she was looking for it. He also knew she was using as well."

"So why did he not turn me away?" Alex asked her.

"Because, you are radiant! You are the absolute example of perfection!" Madelyn told her. "It radiates off you, any Dom can see it! That your submission is the greatest of gifts! That you are one to experience. That you are one in which other subs will be measured!"

"I wasn't even in the life!" Alex argued.

"Doesn't matter," Madelyn laughed. "That moment I first laid eyes on you...I knew. I knew then that we would be sitting here talking about a wedding!"

"How?"

"By the way he looked at you my Dear," Madelyn told her as she took her hand. "The way his breath caught in his chest when you smiled. The way his lips curled at the edges when you were near. The way he watched you walk around the party. Memorizing your every move, your every angle."

"And I knew with every stolen glance by you towards him," Madelyn continued. "The way when you were close to one another, you acted like your bodies were drawn to one another like a magnet to metal."

"I have known every sub," Madelyn smiled. "None held the power over that Dom. Make no mistake, you claim to be the sub. But there is no way! That magnificent Dom now bows to you!"

Alex sat back and looked at her. It was normal for Madelyn to gush praise on her, she was used to it. But this was different. Normally it was praise on her looks or her abilities to be a sub. This was about her. The relationship she now held with Gavin. This wasn't about how her body looked in a dress. Or the way she wore her makeup. This was more than that.

"Now," Madelyn continued. "I'm thinking a week from Saturday?" Alex nodded.

"I'll call home," Alex pulled her phone to her and dialed her Dad's number. He was thrilled at the idea, he also wanted to meet Madelyn and argue with her in person. He assured her that he would make sure everybody was there.

***

Chapter 44

"I've got it Charles," Alex told him as she went for the door. He nodded and waited at the staircase.

"Hey!" Alex smiled broadly as Al stood there. He hugged her warmly. "Hey," she said to Livy who hugged her as well.

She nodded to Ken and Krista, as well as Brandy and her husband Jeremy. Trevor was proudly displaying his Penguins jersey and Nora rushed and jumped into Alex's arms.

"Miss me that much?" Alex asked as she held Nora tightly.

"Yes!" Nora squealed. "Sir Charles!" she yelled in Alex's ear. She let the girl down and she ran to Charles who bowed formally at her.

"Good afternoon, Princess Nora!" Charles smiled from his bow.

Alex looked and didn't see her mother. She looked to her father who nodded at her.

"It was my doing," he said quietly. "Not hers. I told her to stay home."

"Why?" Alex asked immediately.

"Because, this is about you," Al told her. "When she figures that out, then she can become a part of it. I will not allow her to hurt you, or taint your day. Never again."

"Dad," Alex whispered as she put her face in her hand.

"Trust me," Al smiled as he lifted her chin. "Now is your future husband here?"

"No," Alex shook her head. "He had to go to the hospital."

"Damn," Al groused. "I'm gonna need a cut man, if I'm going fifteen rounds with Madelyn!"

"You'll be done like a fight in Tyson's prime. First round knockout!" Alex teased.

"Maybe," Al nodded. "But even Mike Tyson got knocked out by Buster Douglas! Just need my shot!"

"Wow," Alex drawled trying to put the distaste of her mother not coming out of her mouth. "You really are glutton for punishment, aren't you?"

Just then Nora shrieked as Madelyn came in from the library.

"Queen Madelyn," Nora said bowing to her.

"My little Princess!" Madelyn smiled kissing Nora's cheek. She took the girl by the hand and walked to Alex's family.

"Good afternoon," She said warmly. Her eyes searching for the one woman she was looking forward to destroying. She then smiled at Al when she realized Marylyn wasn't in the group.

"Mrs. Faultz," Al said narrowing his eyes playfully which caused Alex to laugh.

"Mr. Lasko," Madelyn gave back. "Ready to lose again? Alex warns me that you still think you are going to contribute to this?"

"I am going to contribute!" Al said forcefully.

"Just like all men, thinking they are in charge!" Madelyn teased which made them all laugh. "Charles, take their bags to their rooms, while Al and I start round two?"

"We are staying at a hotel," Al told her.

"No, you are not. You are staying here, with Alex and I, so that we can get the wedding planning done without a bunch of travel time wasted," Madelyn told him. She waved her arm to the dining room and the group followed her.

"Down goes Frazier!" Alex teased her father.

"I'm using the Rope-a-Dope," Al glared at his daughter.

"She is Ali, you are the sparring partner!" Alex warned him.

"No faith?" Al gasped.

"Faith can move mountains, but Maddy? Not a chance!" Alex said tucking her arm into Al's and guiding him toward the dining room.

They ate and laughed together. Madelyn and Al argued with smiles. Alex loved it, she was only reminded from time to time that her mother wasn't there when she looked around and didn't see her there.

"Uncle GAAAVIINNNN!" Nora screamed as she ran from the table to him and he scooped her up lovingly and hugged and kissed her. He carried her to the table and kissed Alex gently on the lips causing her to blush at the way he was looking at her.

"Losing again Al?" Gavin smiled while staring at Alex.

"This woman is impossible!" Al growled at him.

"Try living with her!" Gavin gasped as he put Nora in her seat and kissed Livy on the cheek. He shook hands with the rest of the family and then kissed Madelyn lovingly.

"Where are we at?" Gavin asked as he sat next to Alex.

"Well, Dad had her on the run early...talking about how it's the bride's family that is supposed to be the one's paying for it...it was tradition!" Alex said looking at Livy.

"Then Maddy threw a roundhouse right into Dad saying 'come into the twenty first century with the rest of us'," Livy teased as Al looked on in shock that his daughters were enjoying their argument, giving a humorous play by play account of the lost battle.

"Dad was staggered momentarily," Alex said dropping her head and moving it side to side as they did the hilarious play by play. "Tried to connect with an uppercut of 'she is my daughter', missed completely and Madelyn slammed an overhand left to his available jaw with 'she is about to be my daughter too!'"

"Are you done?" Al said glaring at the two. They looked to one another and laughed as they nodded.

"Yeah, that is pretty much it," Alex nodded. "We had to give Dad the standing eight count."

"Loser," Gavin smiled. "Al, the chick is just too good at arguing! I haven't won a fight with her in years, and I knew her husband, and he never won a fight either!"

"So I should just give up?" Al asked him. "Not help out with my daughter's wedding?"

"No, you can help...I'll even let you decide how you are going to help," Madelyn smiled putting her wine glass down. "Your daughter indicated you were to walk her down the aisle...well if you want, I'll change jobs with you. You pay, and I'll walk her down the aisle. I mean, fair is fair, I want to be a part of her special day as well!"

"You are out of your damn mind!" Al laughed. "I'm walking her!"

"Then it's settled, you have your job, and I have mine!" Madelyn said firmly.




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 34



"Boom!" Trevor, Krista's son laughed, while he stood from the table to indicate a knockout with a wave of his arms like a referee would.

"Walked right into that one, didn't I?" Al said smiling at Madelyn.

"Winner and still champeen!" Gavin laughed lifting Madelyn's hand.

"Wow," Al groused as he looked to Alex with a wink. "Back to the drawing board." Alex blew him a kiss from her fingers for his losing effort.

***

Even though Madelyn had assured her that no one would let on to her secret, Alex was still nervous someone would make a comment about the lifestyle. Something as innocent as "who is your sub or Dom" would cause her to reel in embarrassment.

"Why are you so nervous?" Gavin finally had to ask.

"What if someone goes up to Livy and asks about her owner?" Alex gasped.

"This is not a lifestyle party," Gavin chuckled shaking his head.

"These people are in the life, are they not?" she asked.

"Some are," Gavin nodded. "Look, when Madelyn throws a party the invitation spells out it's a lifestyle party so everybody is on the same page. The invitation for this party was only for our engagement."

"So nobody is expecting kink?" Alex asked as her worry dropped.

"There are kids present," Gavin pointed out with a mock look of shock. "So no, we may have fiendish tendencies but we are not fiends!" Alex shook her head at him for his laughter.

"You're not helping," Alex warned him.

"Wasn't trying to," he pointed out pulling her into a hug.

"Look, we enjoy our lifestyle but we don't advertise," Gavin told her. "What we do behind closed doors is our business, nobody else's. So relax." She nodded into his chest.

Alex had to show the ring to everybody, it was the first thing they would say to her, 'show me the ring'. She was happy to of course. Many would awe, most would shake their heads and congratulate her on landing the one guy they assumed would be a bachelor his whole life.

Gavin was standing with Ken when he saw her and his stomach flopped. What was Elizabeth doing here? So much for a festive night. His mood soured as she looked through the thong of people before her eyes fell on him. He stared at her for a moment before walking over to her. She met him halfway across the back yard.

"Good evening Elizabeth," Gavin said somewhat sociably. Trying to contain both the disappointment and the anger of her being here.

"Gavin," Elizabeth returned in a near growl.

"How are you doing?" he asked her looking over her beleaguered appearance.

She was thin, her eyes sunken and dark. Her body trembled slightly as she stood with him. She was sniffling and her nose seemed raw around the edges like she had a bitter cold even though it was early summer. She started to scratch at her skin and he stopped her. All were telltale signs she was abusing. He felt her shake under his touch. He wondered if that had to do with her anger, which was radiating off her, or the drugs.

"You look surprised to see me," Elizabeth pointed out.

"In all honesty, I am," Gavin told her with a frown.

He shook his head, gone was the beautiful woman that served him. It appeared her new master didn't care about her appearance. Then again, drugs cared about no one, and everything about Elizabeth's appearance screamed her new Dom was drugs.

"Glad I can still surprise you," she snapped, she saw it in his eyes he was disappointed and even though she was no longer his sub she still felt the duty to please him. She waited for him to correct her. Deep down she wanted him to punish her for her attitude like he used to do. But it didn't come, instead came his apathy, something she knew he would do to keep himself from caring about anything.

"What do you want?" he asked her, his dark eyes sharpening on her.

"Just to congratulate you two!" she told him looking around for Alex. The sarcasm and venom dripped off the words. "I am a little hurt as I must have missed my invitation!"

"You weren't invited," Gavin said pointedly.

"Why?"

"Because you are train wreck," he sighed. "This is for Alex...she doesn't need your drama."

"This is for Alex? What about you?" she asked.

"I'm happy as long as Alex is," he told her looking to the ground.

"You know," Elizabeth moved into him. "If I would have known marriage was on the table for you, I would have tried harder!"

"It was never on the table for you," Gavin said lifting his eyes. "Our relationship was based on exactly what we both wanted. You were never marriage material."

"Why?"

"Because you only love yourself," he told her knocking the wind out of her.

"I was a damn good sub," she defended.

"Only when it suited you," he shot back. "Like the drugs...and the other men."

"Royce raped me," she snarled, she didn't know how he knew but he knew evidently.

"And the Senator in California? Did he also rape you?" Gavin asked. The breath left her. "How about the Congressman from Washington? I mean if every guy you meet rapes you I have to wonder what your definition of rape is."

The words were like blows from a two by four. She lost sight of him as her eyes blurred with tears.

"How did you know?" she asked him looking to the ground.

"How could I not know?" he asked her back. "Everything you have done, or are doing has only been for you. That is why marriage was never on the table for you. In a marriage you aren't thinking about you as an individual, you are thinking about the other exclusively. You never concerned yourself with me unless you were with me, then the service was still about what you wanted. I was a tool that you used to meet some gratification. A dildo if you will."

"Oh and your precious little Alex doesn't think about herself? She is only obeying you right?" Elizabeth barked. "I heard she doesn't listen like a sub should! Doesn't obey you!"

"What Alex does or doesn't do for me is not your concern," he told her coldly. His eyes matching his voice.

"I hear she even got pneumonia because of her disobedience. I hear she didn't service you while she spent hours on her precious little wall of fame! Chasing her own selfish dreams and not serving or satisfying you!" Elizabeth pointed out.

"You're wrong, even in those things, it wasn't because of her selfish desires," he said calmly with an exhale.

"How is that? She didn't obey you?"

"Alex got pneumonia because she was more concerned about her kids she was teaching than herself, the wall? That had absolutely nothing to do with her! That had everything to do with honoring her father! She wanted that wall to show her father that his love of art carried on through her!" Gavin laughed humorlessly as he was trying to explain a concept that Elizabeth would never be able to understand. It wasn't in her nature to.

"Nothing Alex does is for Alex. It is all for someone else!" Gavin growled. His anger bubbling as he stepped closer to Elizabeth.

"No, Elizabeth, you have no concept of what Alex does because it is not in your personality. You do drugs to make yourself feel better, you brought Alex to me so you could leave. You hooked your wagon to Royce so you could have a shot at the White House. The glory of such a prize! You. You. You," Gavin shook his head as he gathered his composure.

"You and Royce deserve each other. You are both only concerned about yourselves. At least in your relationship, nobody will get hurt thinking the other cares for them, because you both know you don't."

"I know one thing you can't deny," she told him stroking the side of his face which he knocked away. "I fucked you well."

"That's right, we fucked," Gavin nodded. "No emotion, no caring, we fucked...cold, unfeeling fucking. I could pay a prostitute for a fucking, and it would be good too." Elizabeth gasped that she was compared to a prostitute.

"See that is the biggest difference between you and Alex," Gavin said trying to reel in his anger. "You gave me what I wanted...Alex gives me what I need."

"It took Alex to show me the difference in fucking and making love. It took Alex to teach me that unless I loved myself, I couldn't love another. We may have a Dom/sub relationship, but I have found with Alex in my life, that those roles are interchangeable. While she openly serves me in the lifestyle. I willingly submit myself to her love."

"Excuse me," Charles' voice interrupted. "I'm sorry Miss Elizabeth, but this party is by invitation only. If you will follow me?"

"You should go," Gavin told her. "Resist your impulsive desire to please yourself by making a scene and ruining something beautiful."

"That hurts," she told him. "I hoped we could be friends."

"You chose your friends," Gavin told her stepping away. "Drugs, Royce and his wannabe ambitions."

"Royce is going to be something," she snapped stopping him. "He is going to be the most powerful man in the world!"

"First off, the President of the United States is a puppet, bound by so many laws and rules he is virtually no different that the Queen of England. A face to put with a country. And Royce will never make that step...his skeletons will haunt him and cause him his downfall!"

Gavin walked away from her and the party. Making his way towards the stables to get himself under control. His anger was spewing from him as he slammed the door and threw a nearby chair across the barn smashing it into bits, causing the horses to jitter in their stalls. His temper of old was back and before he knew it, he punched a hole in the nearby drywall, causing pain to radiate up from his hand to his shoulder.

He shook his hand angrily, shaking the tingling from it. It had been a long time since his temper ruled him as it was now. He was unhappy of its return. Seeing Elizabeth in the same stages as Carla brought his unwelcome friend back.

"She is not your concern," he told himself in the barn, flexing his hand. "You can't save her any more than you could Carla. Some people are just beyond saving!" The words he said aloud held no comfort for him. They were hollow, and the darkness of the depression he had during Carla's demise threatened its return.

He was there for nearly twenty minutes before the opening of the door told him he was no longer alone.

"Are you ok?" she asked him.

"Yes, Little One," He smiled while he stroked the horse in front of him. "I am fine."

"Liar," Alex told him coming up alongside him. "I saw Elizabeth talking to you, is everything alright?"

"She just wanted to congratulate us," he smiled.

"God you suck at lying," she sighed. He said nothing as he looked to the steed in front of him. Afraid of turning to her to reveal the pain in his eyes.

"Any regrets?" she asked him, wondering if he still thought of Elizabeth and the pleasure she brought him.

"Yes," he nodded. The air was sucked out of her as he turned to face her. "I regret I didn't find you sooner. All those wasted years I could have spent with you...I regret I can't give them to you."

"The things you say!" she smiled touching his cheek. He closed his eyes and melted into her soft hands. Submitting to her love.

Alex watched the anger melt from his face at her touch. That made her happy. In his darkest, she could pull him out. His eyes opened and his secret smile came out.

"Something I can do to please you, Sir?"

"I have been pleased," he smiled. "Ever since I laid eyes on you at the coffee shop. The moment I wondered what you would feel like beneath my fingers. The mere thought of your flesh beneath my hand makes me hard."

Alex lifted her hand and placed it on the outer portion of his pants. She felt him and smiled.

"How shall I please you Sir?" she asked him.

He led her to a nearby table set up for working on saddles and lifted her and placed her on it. She let her smile come out showing him she was pleased. She watched him, his firm hands told her not to help, he was doing what he wanted and she was just to enjoy.

He ran his hands up her outer thighs, when his hands hit her hips he realized something.

"No," she smiled as she realized he came to the knowledge. "No panties." He arched a brow at her.

"I was hoping for a moment like this!" she admitted. He nodded. He let his hands slide under her and lift her pulling her to the edge. She let her fingers tug on his belt pulling it loose, her excitement building causing them to shake.

The air around them filled with excitement. Both of the upcoming sex, and the idea that anyone could walk in at any moment. The forbidden desire of allowing one's pleasure to be had in such a public place.

Taking his hot shaft in her hand she felt it throb within her fingers. She licked her fingers and rubbed his cock with it to lube it gently.

She gasped as he filled her and took her neck into his mouth at the same time. He gripped her ass firmly as he drove into her, his hands scraping on the wood of the table as he held her off of it.

She bit her lips to keep from calling out, the echo of their moans were already a concern in the large barn. She was concerned that the party goers would hear and come to investigate. She watched him smiled at her, she approved with her eyes as her body responded to him. She fell back to the straw cover table as he drove into her. He lifted her legs and put them over his shoulder to allow him a deeper penetration.

Her orgasm came as his did, both mixing together there in the barn, she clamped her lips to his to trap her scream into his mouth. They stared into one another's eyes as they came down from their high.

Alex found Livy standing by herself with a smile as she approached.

"You can drop the fake smile," Alex warned her. "I know you too well." Livy rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What's up?" Alex asked her sister.

"No," Livy said firmly. "I'm not ruining your day. Ask me tomorrow."

"Livy,"

"No, Alex," Livy said firmly. "I have enough on my conscience. Just tell me that you and Gavin were down there in the barn doing something that would make Mom mad with the idea that you were doing something that only married couples should be doing. And then only for procreation only!"

"Do you really want to know?" Alex asked her.

"I already know," Livy laughed pulling a piece of straw from her dress before walking away. "And you should wipe that naughty smile from your face...sinner!"

"I was in Heaven at the time!" Alex teased causing them both to break up in boisterous laughter.

***

Hello readers,

I'm sorry for the long delay for this chapter, but I have been doing some soul searching. I'm at a crossroads here. I have an ending in mind, one that would ultimately take an entire third book to complete. But to do so will take me away from the Literotica world. The third book would be less about the sexual world of BDSM and more of the personal world of Alex and Gavin.

I have an alternate ending in mind, so I have to decide how to proceed. If I proceed with the alternate ending, there will be only a few chapters left. When I started this journey with Gavin and Alex, I wanted to show a different side of BDSM. One more realistic. One that was closer to the truth, with a little fantasy thrown in. Now I think it is time to finish with these characters and save the third book for a mainstream audience.

I have decided to edit and rewrite this story and take it to a more mainstream audience and e-publish the books. Those who come to Literotica do so for some sexual stimulation, perhaps the alternate ending for Literotica readers is the way to go, then produce the three novels for the mainstream with an entirely different ending.

Any advice?

CJT



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 35



Hello all! Yes I'm finally back at it! You can spank me later for my tardiness! LOL 

So I left you with a question and I received many comments back, both here on Literotica and in my email, so thank you! 

Now, to answer some questions. First off, how do I end this story? Well it was pretty lopsided with your desires so I will finish all three books here. So you will get the full monty so to speak. No, I was not trying a bait and switch. I, like you, hate that! I merely was saying if this had run its course for the Literotica crowd I was more than happy to come up with an ending and then fulfill what I wanted with a third book elsewhere. That, if you have read through the comments, is not the case! 

Secondly, I made the comment about lack of sex in the upcoming chapters...perhaps that wasn't the best choice of words. There will still be sex, there will still be sessions, but instead of trying to find a way or making it a point to have some sex in each and every upload, I will let it in when it's suitable instead of trying to work it in without tilting the story, as I have been doing so far. Trying to balance the story with the erotica, I mean this is an erotica site for Pete's sake! 

Next, if you go back to the very first chapter I made the comment that I was putting this story on here as a thank you for letting me work on my craft here and gaining the courage before I published some mainstream stuff. I also posted for those who read my earlier work (stuff from up to fifteen years ago) I wanted to show my growth. I believe it has been a lot, of course, I've grown during this story alone and that pleases me because it means I haven't scratched the surface of how good I can get. Thanks to those who have been giving me constructive feedback, this is the only way I'm going to get better! 

In all honesty, I never expected this to last this long. What was supposed to be a short story has morphed into two full novels and a third to go without much effort. If you are still reading, know that after the next two updates you will have read over a thousand pages and over three hundred thousand words dealing with Gavin and Alex. So thank you! 

I blame my better than I deserve wife for all of this! After reading "Fifty Shades" trying to ascertain what all the hoopla was about I was confused. Was it a good read? Eh. The most memorable part for me, was the "inner Goddess"! I loved to find out what she was doing! Was she pouting? Dancing? Sitting in the corner? I do make a couple references in my story, as tribute to the original. 

In any case, my wife asked me what I thought, I honestly don't know what all the hoopla was about. Either there is a lot of unsatisfied housewives out there or the author of that series has one hell of an agent/publicist. 

She then challenged me to do better. So I did some research on the BDSM lifestyle only to find that most in the community ripped Fifty Shades apart. I also find that Christian is no Dom but a wannabe that I describe here. Just my opinion. So I decided to write my story with the idea of staying true to the Lifestyle only to find, the Lifestyle cannot and will not be defined. The beauty of BDSM. So I tried to be informative, instructional in some cases. 

For those of you not in the Lifestyle, know that this is my belief of the life. It is not the only belief. It is not absolute! Like religion, BDSM has many variations and the reason for that is so that you can find a variation that you like. 

BDSM isn't always about whips and chains, it is what I write about and more. Whatever your desire, you can find it in the BDSM community. From the heavy and harsh to the frilly and soft. 

I have tried to show the many different choices. Gavin and Alex. Royce and Elizabeth. The Federal Judge? The women at the party. Madelyn. I cannot create characters for all the possible choices, but I am writing varying types to show, BDSM is only limited by the people in it. 

Next, after these next two updates that will end book two, then next week will start book three which will wrap up some loose ends and then finish our look into the lives of Gavin and Alex by the end of the third book, and bring our time together to a close. 

No, I have no idea how long it will take, as each of the first two books are over five hundred pages, I assume the third will be roughly the same. I really don't know! Sometimes a story isn't so much what I create, but what creates me. I'm at the will of my imagination, I will go as long as my imagination dictates. 

Now, I do know exactly how this series ends, the way my characters wind up. I'm the type of writer who comes up with an ending and then amble my way to it, describing the journey as I go. But like many philosophers have said, it's not the destination that's important, but the journey. So I will try to weave my way to my ending, but I truly, truly have no idea how long that will take. One more book? Two? If you know, please let me know because like I said earlier, this was never supposed to be this long! Thankfully it just turned out that way! 

I may find myself halfway through book three and have an idea for book four. It's happened before, this being a prime example, I also have a series of novels for my mainstream that started off as one book and has morphed to three...so I have a history of it. 

I will leave Secret Smiles and Three Little Words up on Literotica until I am ready to post it mainstream. I figure with the editing process, the cover art process and the formatting it will be up until at least fall of 2016 or winter of 2017. At which time I will remove it. By then all of you will have read it and know the outcome. 

Finally, in closing, thank you all for your encouragement. This has been fun. Like I said, I really love to write! We have a long way to go now but don't worry I promise to do my best to keep you entertained! 

CJT 

P.S. Oh, you ask, where have I been? Well I took a short break a while back to get my next mainstream novel ready for the editor. I did so then went back to work on SS&3LW happy as a clam. Then, like an idiot, I re-read my next mainstream release. Big mistake...Huge! Now after going through and changing it...again...it might be ready for my friend to edit it which will lead to more rewriting after she attacks it vehemently with her red pen! LOL All of you fellow authors know what I'm talking about. Just leave it alone, don't pick at it! SMH 

Now, back to Gavin and Alex and let me apologize in advance. This is going to be...well...bumpy. I expect angry emails for certain. If there is a sudden stop again, know that my beloved wife has done what you wanted and taken me out back and behind the woodshed. She hates it when I do what I am about to do. Muwhahaha! I know, I'm an a-hole, but lead with your best foot I was always told! Cheers! 

Chapter 45 

Livy opened the door of her apartment and the sunlight filled in along with Father Jack's outline. 

"Hello, Father," Livy smiled, her heart catching in her throat. The images of her intimate embrace which she now knew wasn't intended that way, filled her head with embarrassment. 

"I missed you and Nora at Mass yesterday," Jack pointed out. 

"I'm so sorry!" Livy gasped as she let him into her apartment. "I totally forgot to tell you we were going to Chicago for Alex's engagement party!" 

"Oh," Jack sighed, relieved of his torturous worry. His last meeting with Livy had him concerned with her feelings, her leaving so abruptly. Everything. "I was concerned, well...with the way you left last time." 

"I'm sorry about that," Livy said softly. "I never intended to make you uncomfortable!" 

"I wasn't uncomfortable," he assured her. It sounded like the truth he thought. 

"I want you to know I truly treasure your friendship and your guidance, I never meant to imply that I was falling for you," Livy explained as she set two cups of coffee on the table. 

"I'm thankful for that," he said with a frown/smile mix that she didn't miss. "So, Alex is getting married?" 

"Yes," Livy nodded happily. "She has found the perfect man, he is smart, successful, and handsome! He also showers her with attention and love! It's really too bad he got stuck with my sister!" Livy teased. 

"Well that's good," he nodded with a smile. 

For the entire week he had been concerned about her. He couldn't decide if coming over to her apartment was a good idea or not, so he decided to just wait for her to come to Mass and talk to her then. When she didn't show up at Mass he grew downright despondent, he even cut his Mass short as he couldn't do anything but stumble through the sermon. He apologized to those who brought it up as they were leaving, telling them he was coming down with an illness. He had to speak with her, there was nothing more important than making sure she was ok. 

"Is there something wrong?" Livy asked him as he seemed to be keeping his eyes from her. 

"No," he said finally looking to her. 

"Then why won't you look at me?" she asked him pointedly, when after a few seconds of his eyes on her he forced them away. 

"I just...," Jack twisted his lips in a frown. "I was really worried about you." 

"Why?" 

"You left in such a rush, the last thing you said to me...everything!" Jack said wiping his face. 

"Well don't worry," Livy said firmly. "I'm fine." 

"And there is no feelings for me other than as your spiritual leader?" Jack asked carefully. 

Livy looked to him for a few moments as she thought about their embrace. He was trying to comfort her, she knew that. But there was a warm feeling she hadn't had for a while, and she didn't know if that was because of the lack of intimacy she had been forced to endure while in a loveless marriage or if the hug meant more than a hug. 

"Livy?" Jack asked when she said nothing. 

"Do you want me to say I don't find you attractive?" Livy asked him staring at her coffee cup. "Do you want me to say I've never thought about what it would be like to see you in something other than that collar?" 

"Livy, I am a man of God," Jack said softly, just as he had rehearsed. 

"Hence the reason for the collar," she smiled. "Look Jack, I mean Father...I find you attractive. I find you very compassionate and loving. I love our conversations, I love our meals we make on poker night. So I won't lie...I have thought of you in more than a spiritual sense." 

Jack looked to his coffee. He was afraid of that. 

"But that is my problem, not yours," Livy told him putting her hand on his wrist. 

"It's our problem," Jack disagreed. 

"You have done nothing to lead me to believe that you are anything more than a spiritual leader," Livy assured him. 

"But?" 

"But I think about you, perhaps it's because you are the first man to show me compassion and care about me in a long time," Livy shrugged. "Perhaps I want it to be more because I am afraid to be alone." 

Jack was silent as he listened to her, his mind whirling as he thought of solutions. 

"Say something," Livy demanded. 

"Livy," he began. "I don't want to hurt you." 

"I don't understand," she said her face scrunching and backing up her words. 

"I'm not going to say that I haven't had those same thoughts," he whispered causing her to suck in a breath. "But, would that make me no better than your ex-husband? Could you ever trust a man who can't fulfill his vows?" 

He looked to Livy and saw the tears and the confusion in her eyes. 

"That is all a man can do, fulfill his promises," Jack said shaking his head. "In the end, that's it. I've made a promise to God...if I can't stay with that vow, who do I fail? You? God? Me?" 

"Jack," Livy's voice trembled as a tear fell. "You have failed no one!" 

"If I keep the collar, I fail you," Jack told her. "If I lose the collar, I fail God. If I do nothing I fail me." 

"Father," she said shaking her head. "You have nothing to decide. You are my spiritual leader...nothing more. The last thing I need is a relationship, what I need now is independence so there is no 'us' to ponder." 

Jack lifted his eyes and nodded as he got up. Livy stared at a spot on the table and never moved her eyes as the priest began to walk away. 

"Thanks Olivia," he said at the doorway to the kitchen. "And I'm sorry." Livy said nothing, Jack waited for a few moments but then realized she was waiting for him to leave. 

When she heard the front door close she dropped her head down on the forearms and sobbed. She couldn't believe she had wrecked another relationship! 

*** 

"Alex, these are great!" Maole smiled as he left them lined against the wall in his gallery. "I've never been to Africa, I've seen pictures of course, but nothing has made me feel like I have been there like these new paintings of yours!" 

"Thanks!" Alex smiled. "If you ever get the chance, go! It was absolutely spectacular!" 

"What of the atrocities there?" Maole asked. 

"She is beautiful enough to make you forget," Alex told him. "Granted we were only in a few of the countries there, but I fell in love with it!" 

"Going back?" He asked her. 

"I'm trying to keep it in Gavin's mind," Alex said with a nod. "I'm hoping he will at least go back a couple weeks a year. I saw something in him I hadn't seen before while we were there." 

"What was that?" 

"Pride," Alex said with twisted lips. 

"Gavin takes care of himself quite well," Maole said misunderstanding. 

"No," Alex shook her head. "This was an inner pride. He felt good about what he was doing. He loves being a doctor, don't get me wrong, but there, he was a completely different doctor. He could tell he was doing some good." 

"He doesn't think he is doing that here?" 

"No," she said simply. She didn't elaborate and Maole didn't ask her to. If anyone knew Gavin, it was the woman standing there. She may even know him better that Madelyn and he thought that impossible. 

"So which ones do you want?" Alex asked him. 

"I want all of them," he shrugged. "I can dedicate a whole room to you, call it Dark Continent Beauty or something. People will devour them whole. I have three customers with a standing order any time you bring one in." 

Alex shook her head in disbelief. She just didn't see herself as an artist who had people who were waiting on her to produce more art. She just couldn't wrap her mind around it. Now here was Maole dedicating an entire room to her work. 

"You realize of course," he began slowly. "I have to have another showing gala." 

"What?" Alex gasped. 

"You are in demand! People keep calling!" He explained knowing she hated all the hullabaloo surrounding a showing. "It's better for you that way, more money." 

"I don't care about the money," Alex frowned, she was thinking about how her stomach churned that night. Would this night be the same? Would this night still feel like she was under a microscope, being dissected like a bug? 

"The other artists in this gallery care about you having a showing too!" he told her. 

"Why?" 

"Because while the customers come to look at your stuff," Maole said picking up the painting of an African sunset. "They see other people's work as well. I had three other artists sell more work in that one night than they had all year! You are the draw, but people see other stuff too, while they are here. So in essence, you are helping other artists make money." 

"I didn't know that!" Alex told him the shock filling her eyes. 

"So, I can do another show?" Maole asked with a grin. 

"Do I have to be there?" Alex asked matching his grin knowing she had to be. He tilted his head at her. "Alright, fine!" 

"Better," he said. "As for this one, it's going into my private collection...so normally I negotiate, but this one is all yours to come up with a price." 

"How about nothing," Alex told him. "A gift for putting me in front of big spenders." 

"No," Maole frowned. 

"Then the deal is off, the whole deal, no show, and no art," Alex said with a sigh. "You are not the only gallery in town. I'm a hot commodity, or so you keep saying, so surely someone else will be more cooperative with my demands." 

"Really?" Maole laughed shaking his head. 

"Take it as a gift or else," Alex told him firmly, crossing her arms across her chest defiantly. 

"Gavin warned me you had a bitch side," he laughed. 

"I haven't broken out the bitch side yet," Alex said as she started to make her way out. "Get with me on a date and time?" 

"Will do," Maole said looking at his new painting. 

*** 

"How did the gallery go?" Gavin asked as he sat down. 

"Good, Sir," Alex smiled. She got up to pour him some wine. He tried to suppress his frown but she bumped him with her hip to let him know he failed. 

"Why is it such a big deal when I serve you?" Alex asked him. Gavin looked up to her as she stood there waiting. 

"Will you sit down?" he asked her. The tone was not a request. It was a demand. So she he did as instructed with a frown. 

"Early on," Gavin started, once she was sitting again. "I was learning how to be a Dom." 

"Learning?" 

"I didn't come out of the womb a Dom!" He chided with a laugh as he picked up his wine glass. "Madelyn helped a lot, but there were some questions that I needed other input. I met a guy, a well to do lawyer, he had multiple subs." 

Alex nodded that she understood. She also knew he didn't like the idea of multiple subs so she wondered why he would seek advice from such a Dom. 

"He had been in the life for over 20 years," Gavin continued as he sipped his wine. "We were having dinner and his subs were serving us." Alex waited, that wouldn't warrant his disproval of her serving him. 

"He most definitely had a different opinion on how to treat his subs," Gavin frowned. "He treated his subs like slaves...like, honest to God slaves." Alex looked to him and he shrugged. 

"They couldn't eat with him, they couldn't speak unless spoken to," Gavin explained with a shake of his head, his disgust filling his voice. "They served us in the nude...after dinner, we went into the living room for after dinner drinks. He used one of them for a foot stool, told another to make herself available as my foot stool!" 

"What?" Alex asked her face going slack at the story. Gavin shrugged. 

"It's not wrong," Gavin said to her with a disappointed shake of his head, telling her it was wrong to him. "Every Dom is different." 

"A foot stool?" She clarified. Gavin shrugged at her question. 

"It took me a week to process that," Gavin admitted. "I knew I wouldn't do something like that." Alex shifted her head back and forth as she thought about being used for a foot stool. 

"So what did you come up with after a week?" Alex asked. 

"I decided there were two types of Doms, on opposite ends of the spectrum," he sighed. "There are those Doms that are into servitude, they tend to want to be called Master. They tend to want slaves." 

Alex thought back to when she finally submitted herself to him completely, she had called him Master and he quickly corrected her. She was not to address him in that manner he warned her. 

"Now, you may think that abhorring, but there are women in our life that want that type of Dom. They want the degradation. They want that type of order and certainty, there is nothing wrong with that, as long as you are both on the same page," he explained. 

"I'm more at the other end of the spectrum, I want a submissive," Gavin continued. "A sub in my opinion should be cherished. Not degraded. Her gift should be rewarded." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 35



"Her gift?" 

"Submission is a gift," Gavin stressed. "It should be cherished as such. Yes as a Dom we are in control, but the sub gives us that gift of control." 

"Some subs want that type of cherishing, so to me the name tags become important," Gavin explained. "In our world, those who wish to be called Master tend to attract subs who like to be called slaves, the mere nametags let the other know what is expected." 

"Those who like to be called Sir, or Dom, like kittens," he said with a hand to his chest. "Now not all follow these guidelines, but more often than not it is that way. See the connotation difference?" 

"Yes, the names feel different," Alex agreed. "Master/slave gives more of a rough feel. While Sir/kitten seems softer." 

"Now that is not absolute, but I seem to be around people who believe the same way," Gavin shrugged. 

"Ok," Alex shrugged. "That's all well and good, but I'm just pouring you some wine, or giving you a plate of dinner." 

"I'm supposed to be spoiling you," he told her. 

"I am spoiled," Alex scoffed. "In everything! From the way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way you treat me! I am spoiled!" 

*** 

Jack opened the door to the rectory and his mouth dried as he looked at her. 

"Livy," he said trying to keep it from sounding surprised. 

"You sound surprised," she pointed out, letting him know he failed. 

"Yeah," he admitted. "A little." 

"It's Thursday," she reminded softly. "Poker night." He nodded and stood to the side and let her enter. "That is unless you would prefer I stay away." 

"No," he said firmly. "I want you here, I like you here...it's just..." He shook his head. He still didn't know what he wanted to do or say. 

"Look," she told him turning. "You are my priest, I truly don't want another relationship. I just want to live a while without anyone expecting something from me." 

"I am your priest," he told her firmly. "But that is all I can ever be." 

"I can live with that," she assured him. "Can you?" 

"I can," he lied. 

"Good," she smiled. "But who do you go to for confession? Because your lips said one thing, your eyes said another, so I know that is something you will need to confess." 

"Livy," 

"No, this isn't your decision," she said firmly. "It's mine. I just got out of a lousy marriage, I don't want a relationship. I just need your friendship. Nothing more." 

"Then we are in agreement," he told her. "Now, what's in the pot?" 

She smiled and let him pull the lid. 

"Chili," she said as he inhaled deeply. 

"Smells fantastic!" he complimented taking it from her. 

He put it on the stove as she answered the door for another of the poker players. The Thursday night game of Salvation was on. 

Livy raked in another pot and the group looked to her. 

"I think you are a ringer," one of them smiled. "Are you splitting the pot with the priest?" 

"He...has taken a vow of poverty," Livy smiled as she looked to her cards. "I'm keeping him honest!" 

"Ouch!" said the Baptist minister with a belly laugh. "Seems you are making us all take the same vow!" 

"Perhaps this is the Lord's way of telling you, that being men of God, you shouldn't gamble!" Livy teased ruthlessly, drawing laughter from the men assembled around the table. 

During one of the breaks, Jack and the Methodist preacher, Lionel Weeden, were making sandwiches. 

"So," Lionel began softly looking around. "What are you going to do about her?" 

"About who?" Jack asked, his eyes focused on his food. 

"Oh Jack," Lionel said with a sigh and a shake of his head. 

"I have taken the vow," Jack reminded. 

"You can still serve God and be a man," Lionel told him firmly. "You are the only man in this group that is forcing that life!" 

"It is my tenet," Jack reminded. 

"It's wrong," Lionel told him with a shake of his head. 

"She is fresh from a divorce," Jack continued. "I'm just helping her restart her life." 

"And your feelings for her?" Lionel asked. He watched the priest stop and shake his head. 

"Will require more prayer," Jack admitted. "She is so vulnerable right now, there is no way I could take advantage of her in that fashion." 

"Let me ask you this," Lionel whispered. "What if she wants and you want more?" 

"Then God has made the decision for me," Jack told him. 

"Just like that?" Lionel scoffed. 

"Just like that," Jack said firmly looking at him. "If God truly wants me to lose the collar, the guilt will fade away and I will know that God wants me to be with her." 

Sitting down with their food, the others were in conversation about same sex weddings. 

"The Bible even says it's wrong," said Clarence, Pastor of the local Lutheran church. 

"Maybe," Barry laughed, he was the Baptist preacher. His belly was as big as his booming laugh. "It also says we are to stone sinners! We don't follow that command. There are a lot of things we don't do like they did!" 

"I've got a couple politicians I wouldn't mind getting started with!" Lionel laughed as he sat down. 

"A couple?" Barry asked. "How about the lot?" 

"Livy? What do you think?" Clarence asked her. 

"I think, Father Jack has it right," Livy shrugged. "Who are we to judge? Aren't we all sinners? Don't we all have something that we should be stoned for...I mean if we were to break it down fully?" She looked to Jack and he smiled. 

"I'm a divorced woman," Livy shrugged. "Stone me for that! According to my mother at least!" 

"Don't," Jack warned her. 

"I'm just saying, if you break it down, each religion has something they key on as being a sin while another will say it is ok," Livy told him. "Catholicism says you can't have a wife, but every other man at this table has one. Wouldn't that be a stoning offense?" Jack watched her and knew she was speaking in general terms, not them in particular but it still ran across him like a sharp knife. 

"Livy," Jack shook his head. "My religion doesn't forbid it, it is a choice we make when we decide to serve...that is all." 

"My point is," Livy continued. "Every religion has a different slant, what is right? What is wrong? How many have died to answer that question only to find out its unanswerable? Father Jack is right, love everyone and let God decide who is wrong...by looking into their hearts as only he can do!" 

"Can I borrow her?" Clarence asked Jack with a laugh. "She can give the sermon this week!" 

"She's right," Jack nodded. "We should just accept, even Pope Francis agrees. Just love one another. Let the Father sort it out." 

"Agreed," Barry nodded. "Is your mother still upset with you?" 

"Yes," Livy frowned. 

"Her church is more like a cult!" Lionel pointed out. "I have a few members of my flock that are former members there...they have told me some stories that would make you shudder!" 

"That church is poisoned," Jack told them. "If the preacher is wrought with poison then it infects every limb of the tree." 

"Sounds like the Westboro Baptist Church!" Lionel teased causing Clarence to cackle as they took a poke at the Baptist minister at the table. 

"They are not Baptists!" Barry warned. 

"They claim to be Baptists," Clarence pointed out. 

"Yeah?" Barry asked. "David Koresh claimed to be Jesus, do we take him at his word?" 

"People can claim to be whatever they want," Jack said coming in to help. "Their actions dictate the truth." 

"Where is our little waitress tonight?" Lionel asked Livy, referring to Nora who normally was there making drink runs for them. 

"My father picked her up tonight," Livy told them. "He was taking her out to eat and then to a movie." 

"Miss seeing her!" Clarence smiled. "That is an angel in the making, let me tell you!" 

All the men agreed with a nod of their heads. 

"Tells me she is being brought up right!" Barry smiled with a wink at Livy. 

"I'm trying my best!" Livy smiled. 

*** 

Livy pulled her bathrobe tighter as the doorbell rang again. She had brought home another twenty bucks she had earmarked for Nora's savings account. She loved the bad poker the religious leaders had. It meant more money in Nora's piggy bank each week. 

She smiled as she got there but the smile left her as she was expecting to see her father. Instead she was looking at her mother. Livy mustered her best smile to cover the disappointment on her face as she moved to the side to let her mother and Nora in. 

"Mommy!" Nora squealed as she hugged her. 

"Did you have a good time?" Livy asked stooping to her level. Nora nodded as she rubbed her tired eyes. "Good, why don't you go put your pajamas on and brush your teeth?" Nora nodded and ran off. 

"Thanks for bringing her home," Livy said to her mother while steeling herself for what she assumed was going to be a bad conversation. She could tell because her mother's anger radiated off her. 

"I saw Don yesterday at Bible study," Marylyn told her coldly. Livy just looked at her. "He says you aren't letting him see his daughter." 

"He doesn't want to see her," Livy countered. 

"Why is he asking me to intervene?" 

"I don't know, and I don't care," Livy said firmly. 

"You are going to let him see his daughter, aren't you?" Marylyn asked narrowing her eyes on her daughter and her stance. 

"Not for the foreseeable future," Livy told her. 

"It's his daughter," Marylyn barked. 

"She's our daughter," Livy fired back. "But he wanted the house...he got the house. He chose bricks and mortar over the flesh and blood we created. If he wants both he should have thought about that!" 

"I have raised you better than that!" Marylyn growled. "He has a right to her. She deserves to go to church...it is up to us to lead her to God." 

"First off," Livy growled back. "He signed over his rights to her, completely. Second off, as I am responsible for her, I will make sure she is led to God." 

"Don is not to see Nora without my permission," Livy told her. "Is that clear?" 

"You can't tell your mother what to do!" Marylyn seethed. 

"I can if it concerns my daughter," Livy told her. "If I find out you are going against my wishes, I will stop letting her come there. I will take care of my daughter's spiritual needs." 

"How can you possibly do that when you don't go to a church?" Marylyn barked. 

Livy laughed and shook her head. Well, her mother was pissed at her already, might as well get it all out in the open she decided. This was going to be like throwing a propane tank on a fire. 

"Nora and I have been going to St. Mary's," Livy told her slowly, waiting for the eruption. 

"St. Mary's?" Marylyn asked, the despise she felt filled the words. "Sounds Catholic." 

"It should," Livy smiled. "Because it is Catholic." 

"You are taking my granddaughter to a Catholic Church?" Marylyn barked, sounding more like an angry clucking chicken than a person. 

"I am taking my daughter to my Church," Livy said unwaveringly. "We are both in the process of becoming Catholic." 

"Are you out of your mind?" Marylyn raged. "That place is the den of the Devil!" 

"I'm not sure you have any idea of what is and what isn't the den of the Devil," Livy told her. "I'm mean first it was Pittsburg...then Chicago because Alex wanted to go...now it's St. Mary's? A church that has welcomed me and loved me unconditionally?" Livy shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her. 

"Am I welcome in your church?" Livy asked. She laughed when her mother said nothing. "If I'm not welcome, then there is no way I'm letting my daughter go!" 

"Your father and I have raised four daughters in that church!" Marylyn raged. 

"No," Livy disagreed. "You have raised two, Alex and I are out and we have seen something better...and it doesn't involve your church. I get the feeling your church is so far from God that it might never be saved!" 

"How dare you ridicule my church?" 

"How dare you come into my home and tell me what is best for my daughter?" Livy countered. She walked to the door and opened it. Marylyn sat stunned. "This is the part where you leave." Livy said after a few seconds of just standing there, her hand gripping the door knob so tight she was sure to crush the polished brass in her hand. Her mother went to leave. 

"I mean it Mother," Livy said when she was in front of her. "Nora doesn't go to Don's, and she doesn't go to your church. If I find out you aren't obeying my wishes...then you will also stop seeing Nora." With that Livy closed the door, shutting out the shocked expression her mother had. 

Livy leaned against the door and cried quietly. She felt so horrible. The words she spoke, the threats. With every word she was destroying the relationships of her life. From her mother, to her older sisters who would surely line up with their mother. To Jack, as she wanted to save him the way he saved her. To her father, and his threats to his wife of thirty plus years. All because of her. 

*** 

Chapter 46 

"Thank you Master," the bound beauty called out as the sting of the crop sent waves of pain across her white flesh. 

Her ears picked up the soft, subtle whistle of the crop as her Master swung it ruthlessly. She tensed just before the sharp bite of the sting ripped across her supple flesh, leaving a deep purple and crimson line from where the slender stick damaged her perfect skin. 

"Thank you Master," she called out, the tears streaking down her face as she gritted her teeth to hiss the words from in between the gaps. The damage evident by the trails of mascara left as it followed the tears down her face. The whistle came again and she braced herself as best she could. But the savage bite of pain always weakened her. 

"Thank you Master," she gritted. 

More whistles, more thank you's, more pain. Soon her body was numb from the middle of her glutes, to the middle of the back of her thighs. The only thing she felt was the smoldering embers of the fire left from the crop. 

She heard the rattle of the offending weapon as it clattered to the floor and she braced herself, but he was on her gruffly, the leather dug into the skin on her wrists as he kicked her feet farther apart with his foot. Her fingers numbed as his added weight combined with hers pulled on the joints of her wrists as he wrapped his fingers around her throat and squeezed. 

Not subtly as she was used to, but harshly, like she was being attacked in some back alley. No concern for her safety. Her face bluing as her breath was kept from entering her lungs. Her feet began to tap as she struggled to regain her breath. Her feet kicking instinctively, trying to move her to safety. He released her at the last second, her mind threatening to let go and send her into unconsciousness. 

She quickly sucked in a breath, but it was only a half breath as his hands were back around her throat. Soon her feet were back to tap dancing in an attempt to win her escape to freedom. He released her throat and she gasped. 

"Such a good little whore!" he hissed in her ear. "Do you need a little reward?" She smiled and nodded as he bit into her shoulder forcing her to bite her lip to keep from screaming out. He left her hanging there for a few moments. 

The tightening of the tubing on her upper arm let her know he was back as he restricted the blood flow to her wrists. He tapped the bend of her elbow until a vein presented itself, he then laid the sharp needle on the now raised tunnel of blood. 

"Do you want it?" he asked her, the needle just scratching the surface of her skin. 

"Yes, Master, I want it!" she begged as she stared at the shiny stick of metal just the briefest of distance from her Nirvana. 

"Beg me bitch," he hissed. 

"Please Master," she pleaded. "Will you give me the two things I need now? Will you please give me my candy and then take my body with your fabulous cock? Please? Please?" 

The sharp stab of pain clipped her words as the needle was pressed through her skin, the slight resistance her body made was no match for the sharp puncture of the needle, soon he pulled the tubing off her arm and the warmth of her desire radiated from her arm outward, covering her body with a wave of pleasure. 

Her eyelids became heavy as the euphoria rippled through her. She was only vaguely aware of him now, his fingers pulling on the locks on her leather cuffs, releasing her from her bondage. She collapsed to the floor and he pulled on her hair guiding her, crawling, to the bed. Walking wasn't possible. Her toes now tingled from hanging from the restraints. Her legs wobbly from the drugs. 

At the foot of the bed he twisted her head and shoved his softened cock in her mouth, she let him man handle her, her body warming at the rough play she was enduring. His thick pubic hair tickled her nose as he held her mouth down at the base of his manhood. His flaccid penis sitting warmly in her mouth, unresponsive to her gentle suckling. 

He pulled sharply on her hair, driving his hips forward, his cock only making half-mast. Frustrated, he half threw her on the bed, her backside hanging off as her knees drove against the box spring of the bed. The wood frame digging sharply into her. 

He moved back around her while she gripped the bed clothes with her fingers as her mind wafted in and out of her euphoria. Partially in the here and now, partially in her desired world of drug induced pleasure. 

She winced as his thumb was roughly rammed into her anus, a sign of his destination. She could hear him fisting his cock rapidly, trying to raise it to full mast. His grunting meant he was struggling to complete the task in hand. 

He tried multiple times to put the semi flaccid cock in her, but each time his body couldn't penetrate her orifice like his needle had just done, even though he was trying with great energy. 

She knew she shouldn't have, but she did, she giggled. Part was from the warm happy feeling she was having as the heroin pulsed through her body. Part from the scene in her head as she pictured what they must look like. 

Her body half on, half off the bed. His semi hard cock pressing in the desired spot but not hard enough to enter her ass. The look of frustration he was bound to have because of his failure. His cock slipping to the side time and time again as he tried to force it in her. 

"Fucking laughing at me?" he raged. 

"No Master," she whispered as the drug finally began to take her to the land of Nod. The euphoria leaving, taking her consciousness with it. He was gone from her and her smile lifted her perfect lips. 

The sharp slap of leather came across her body, the sting hitting mid back at first, then lower with each wild swing. Some of the strikes landing on her back, some on her shoulders, some on her thighs, with a few hitting her backside as he yelled and seethed obscenities at her. His words coming to her in a garble now. The master in her life taking control, while the wild man beat her. She drifted off, with the man finally making his cock hard enough to break through her anal ring. His cock still not fully hard, but hard enough to finally enter her. 

His hips slammed forward into her buttocks, reigniting the fire from both the crop and the belt he had just used on her. She could do nothing now, as her drug induced stupor kept her from doing anything but laying there as the weight of his body slammed into her. She used to like the feel of his cock ravaging her. Now, she preferred the ravaging of her drugs. 

She was only vaguely aware of the soft trickle of blood from where he bit into her flesh as he came in her after a few moments of ragged breath fucking. Pulling his soft cock out of her now, a trail of cum leaking down the inside of her thighs. He rolled to the side of her, she watched him through half open eyes, tighten the tubing on his own arm. She reached out to take the needle from him, the need for the euphoria wanted. It filled her with the greed for another shot of her 'candy'. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 35



He moved his body away from her as he injected himself, his teeth releasing the tubing as his body exploded with heat as he fell back to the bed. She was unable to join him now, so she just stayed where she was. Her upper body on the bed, her body bent at the waist, her legs dangling as she laid there, her feet and toes burning from the rug burn she was going to have from where her feet scraped the rug as he fucked her. 

Elizabeth looked at herself in the mirror on the wall, Royce next to her, his body still wrapped in a heroin cocoon. Her drug induced state wearing off, she didn't know how long she was out. The last thing she remembered was that it was mid-afternoon when they began their session. It was dark now. The only light spilling on them was from hallway. 

She looked at the reflection in the full mirror on the wall, the marks from the crop sharply contrasting her milky white skin. The bruises from the belt on her back and ribs were noticeable. She would now have to change her dress for the weekend party they were going to. The dress she wanted to wear was short and backless, but the belt marks would now have to be covered. She was looking forward to going to Alyssa's party. Now she would have to hide her body to keep the marks from getting noticed. 

She wondered if Alex and Gavin would be there. It seemed all anyone could talk about was them. How wonderful Alex looked. How fantastic her art was. How surprised they were that Alex had captured Gavin's heart. All would gush over her beauty. Her abilities as a switch. Her ability to capture a true Dom as a perfect sub, yet still be able to become the Dom. 

There were times when a group would be in a jovial talk until she arrived, then they would look to one another uncomfortably as their lips would press tightly shut. She knew now they were talking about Alex and Gavin and were trying to keep her from being hurt with their gushing of praise over the happy couple and their engagement. 

The one time she was let in to talk about the couple she seethed over what they were planning. Ridiculed their engagement as a fad and it would pass as Gavin never kept a sub longer than a year. 

It was Alyssa that pointed out they had been together over eighteen months now. With no sign of any problems. Had it really been that long? Had it been that long since she serviced Gavin's magnificent cock? Had it been that long since she brought the ungrateful Alex into their world? Had it been that long since she had been forced to suffer with Royce and his fits of rage? Enduring his erectile dysfunction and his beatings that left her yearning to go back to Gavin. 

Had it been eighteen months of having to endure Royce's father's insults of being unworthy of standing with Royce as they tried to attain the White House? She had listened from the bed one night as Royce's father demanded he drop the whore in the bedroom and find a proper woman who would fit into their White House plans. She had been hurt by the words, then comforted when Royce defended her. 

She did a last look at herself in the mirror. Gone was the raven locks of hair that made her a goddess to most men. Now she wore her hair in a more business like fashion, short and authoritative. Her pale skin blemished with acne and dark circles under her tired eyes. Both brought on as her body both accepted and rejected the heroin she injected. A constant civil war in her body, of pleasure and destruction. 

She was no longer turning heads like she used to. Now the only person who looked on her with anything other than contempt or regret was the drug dealer she blew from time to time when she needed a fix because Royce was punishing her for disobedience by not letting her shoot up in the apartment. 

Even then he only let her suck him off, never would fuck her as she wanted. He said he never fucked junkies. She insisted she wasn't a junky. He laughed then and said she didn't need the heroin. She stopped him as he prepared to walk away, he then demanded she prove what a whore she was and suck him off. She even had to suck off a few of his buddies one night because she disturbed his poker night. 

They each came in her mouth, then laughed at her as she sat waiting on her knees for the next man up. She was then forced to wait for him to play another hour of poker before finally giving her the drugs. The men would snicker at her as the drug dealer would slap her as he walked by, either on the face, or across her naked breasts. 

Elizabeth closed her eyes to the whore in the mirror. No longer able to look at the one time goddess of beauty and the events that had befallen her. One that used to make men trip over themselves as they passed her presence. A beauty that attracted another beauty who stole her man. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 36



Chapter 47 

Alex dropped her keys on the table by the door and checked her stack of mail. Nothing important, so she dumped the envelopes in the trash can next to the table. 

"Hey!" she called out as she looked into the living room, she heard the bumble of bodies from the back of the apartment. She smiled and shook her head. Ooops. 

She made her way to her bedroom and pushed the door open, her eyes furrowed at the scene. She walked in and turned in a full three hundred and sixty degree circle. Her entire room was now in neatly taped boxes. Her bed stripped of its sheets. There were things that didn't belong to her taking up corners now. 

"Hey you," Lena said from behind her. 

"What the hell is this?" Alex asked. She was a bit shocked and angry that her room was packed. 

"Well, I figured since you were getting married now, I could pack up your room," Lena said cautiously, hearing the anger in her friend's voice. 

"We had talked about it," Alex agreed. "But..." 

"But?" 

"Sorry," Alex said laughing at herself, realizing she was over reacting. "It just took me a second to process it!" She turned around and hugged Lena who smiled. 

"Now," Alex said stepping back putting her scowl back on. "Do you want to explain that?" She asked sharply, pointing to the set of golf clubs in the corner. 

"Yeah," Lena smiled. "About those, they kinda belong to my new roommate." 

"You've already rented my room?" Alex gasped. 

"Not exactly rented," Lena hedged, embarrassed. Just then Mike came up behind Lena and Alex burst into laughter as all the pieces fell into place. 

"Humprf," Alex said to him with a broad smile. "I see." 

"Hey Miss Lasko," Mike said sheepishly. 

"Miss Lasko?" Alex growled. "You are stealing my roommate, putting your shit in my room, and it is still Miss Lasko?" She railed at him. 

"Sorry Alex," he corrected. "I'm going to make coffee, want some?" Alex nodded and he kissed Lena's head and went away sheepishly. 

"I see how it is," Alex said moving close to her friend. "You like your roommates with a side of penis now, huh?" 

"Worked for you, didn't it?" Lena pointed out. 

"I'm calling slut," Alex teased as she crossed her arms across her chest. 

"I'm calling kinky as fuck slut," Lena shot back mimicking her stance. 

"Jealous?" 

"Uh, hell yeah!" Lena laughed taking Alex in her arms. "At least Mike has a good sense of adventure! Not as adventurous as your Gavin, but a hell of a lot better than my last clown!" 

"Don't tell me, I don't want to know your dirty little secrets," Alex said shaking her head. "So, he is moving in?" 

"He has been living here for over a month now," Lena admitted. 

"Get the fuck out of here? How did I miss that?" Alex asked her. 

"Probably because of all the wedding shit!" Lena told her with a snort. 

"God! Don't bring up the wedding!" Alex growled. 

"Now what?" 

"She wants a full orchestra!" Alex said of Madelyn's elaborate plans. 

"What happened to the DJ?" Lena gasped. 

"Yeah, you figure that out let me know!" Alex laughed as they walked toward the kitchen where Mike was making coffee. 

"Oh man, what does Gavin say about that?" Lena asked as they sat down. 

"He's gone to calling me Faust," Alex laughed with a shake of her head. 

"He did warn you that you were making a deal with the devil," Lena reminded. 

Alex dropped her head to the table and shook it. 

"Is it too late to elope?" Alex asked. 

"You are talking about a lady who knows the head of the Armed Services Committee, and the director of the CIA...do you think there is anywhere you can go where she won't find you?" Mike laughed. 

"Nobody asked you," Alex laughed with her head still down. "Room thief." 

"Just saying," Mike said as he set her coffee down near her. 

*** 

"There you are," Madelyn called out as Alex crossed the foyer. Alex froze in mid-step. 

"Charles! Save me!" Alex begged the man as he stood by the door he just let her in. 

Charles smiled and pretended to tip toe away. 

"Traitor!" Alex laughed at his response. 

Since the wedding plans began, the two of them had been earning rebukes from Madelyn for their constant poking at her for the elaborate plans and the sudden changes of ideas. The two of them had been joking behind Madelyn's back about being a taskmaster and would lean in to whisper a joke, when Madelyn wasn't looking of course. 

"You, my lady, are on your own!" he said from the doorway to the Library. "She has brow beat me enough today!" 

"I can see I'm going to have to really turn on my bitch," Madelyn warned them. Charles smiled at Alex, then left her there. Alone. 

"Now," Madelyn began when Alex finally turned to her. "I have someone for you to meet." 

Alex rolled her eyes as she followed Madelyn back into the sitting room she just came out of, dragging her feet as she went causing Madelyn to turn and glower at her. Alex giggled when she did. 

"Trying my patience today?" Madelyn asked her. 

"Me?" Alex asked in a laugh. "Nawwww!" Alex drawled. 

"I'm not above putting you over my knee young lady!" Madelyn threatened. 

"Yes ma'am," Alex nodded. 

Walking into the sitting room she found an elegant woman in her mid-seventies sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in her hand. The woman was beautiful and graceful. She stood as Madelyn brought Alex to her. 

"Alex," Madelyn smiled. "This is Carolina Herrera. Carolina, this is Alexandria Lasko." Alex gently took the elegant woman's hand and shook it. 

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," the woman said to Alex. "Madelyn has been raving about you all morning!" 

"Don't believe all she tells you, she is blinded by her love for me," Alex smiled, trying to tamp down what was surely high praise from Madelyn. 

"Absolutely gorgeous!" the woman said to Madelyn. She then turned her eyes back to Alex. 

"Have we met before?" Alex asked her. "It seems like I have seen you before." 

Madelyn laughed then covered her smile with her hand. 

"I would hope you would know this woman!" Madelyn chuckled, shaking her head. "Carolina is the preeminent designer of women's clothing." 

"She has dressed women from the likes Jackie Onassis to First Lady Michelle Obama!" Madelyn said with a shake of her head at Alex's naiveté. "Now, she is going to add you to that list." 

"What?" Alex asked as Carolina began to walk around Alex measuring her up with her eyes. "What are you doing Madelyn?" 

"We seem to be at odds over your dress," Madelyn said watching her friend look Alex over. 

"I know," Alex said shifting her eyes from Madelyn to the world famous designer who was now touching her and picturing something in her mind. 

"Well, I've asked Carolina to come and help us, she is going to design you a dress," Madelyn shrugged. 

Alex put her face in her hands and let out a short scream of frustration. Her wedding to the man of her dreams went from a simple vineyard wedding, to a subtle backyard marriage to what has now turned into a wedding fit for royals! Full orchestra? Catered meal for over 300? Now a world famous designer to custom make a dress for her? Holy shit! 

"Real lady like," Madelyn scolded. 

"Trust me," Carolina smiled. "I deal with temperamental super models all the time! I can deal with a little fit now and then!" 

"Madelyn!" Alex complained. "This is too much!" 

Madelyn said nothing, instead she began drilling holes into Alex with her eyes. 

"Gavin is going to kill me," Alex grumbled as she dropped her head, recognizing that look after weeks of getting it. It meant there would be no arguing her way out. 

"Better," Madelyn smiled as she realized Alex had just accepted her fate. "But stop slouching so Carolina gets the full and accurate picture." 

Alex lifted her head and looked at the fashion designer who smiled sympathetically at her. 

"She is absolutely gorgeous," Carolina said to Madelyn. "I hope you aren't shy!" She smiled as she turned her eyes back to Alex. 

"What?" Alex sighed after she lifted her head disappointedly. She looked to her left to see a man get up with a camera. She shook her head. "Really?" 

"It's either him or come to New York so you can stand in my office while I design your dress," Carolina said firmly. 

Alex closed her eyes, now she could see why Carolina and Madelyn were friends. Same temperament. Forceful and demanding. Obviously traits needed to become powerful women of stature. 

"Take a few of her like this and a few of her in just her undergarments," Carolina told the photographer. 

"What?" Alex asked again, her face draining of color as she heard the statement. 

"I have to know your whole body," Carolina told her. "If I'm going to put you in one of my dresses, I need to know every nuance, every curve and every deliciously beautiful angle." 

"But you want me to stand in my underwear?" Alex gasped looking at the strange man with the camera. "With a total stranger?" 

"Yes," both Madelyn and Carolina said at once, showing there would be no denial of the demand. Alex looked to the ceiling and blew out a nervous breath. There was no way she could just take off her clothes! She looked to both Madelyn and Carolina, both had the same determined look. 

"Well," Alex said shaking her head. "This won't be awkward!" Alex said with a huff as she pulled on the back of her dress opening it to let it fall into a puddle around her ankles. 

"Absolutely stunning!" Carolina raved. "I could put you on a catwalk anywhere in the world and you would hold your own!" The woman said with a broad smile as she drank Alex in. 

"Oh God!" Alex said to the ceiling as she stood there in her lacy garments. She was glad she put underwear on this morning with her garters and stockings, otherwise this would have been really revealing! 

"Do you plan on wearing something as elegant and sexy on your wedding day?" Carolina asked coming to inspect her sexy underwear. Alex just nodded as her face flushed a deeper crimson in embarrassment with every click of the shutter on the camera.  

"I will design something special then, to go under your dress," Carolina smiled as she brushed Alex's skin and stepped away. "Anytime you need a job, let me know, I would love to drape you in my designs!" 

Carolina spent the next forty five minutes directing Alex into several positions as the photographer took pictures from every angle imaginable. After the initial embarrassment of standing in her underwear in front of total strangers, one of whom was a man, Alex began to enjoy the attention being doused on her. The gushing praise the two women would rave with as they discussed her while she stood there. They sipped their tea and discussed various ideas of design they could put Alex in. 

Carolina would come to her from time to time and mention something to Madelyn who looked and nodded as she watched Alex pose and move about under Carolina's direction. 

After the photo session, Madelyn showed the fashion designer out and came back with a triumphant smile. Alex was laying on the couch, her feet up on the cushions her face buried under a pillow in humiliation as she thought fully about what she had just endured. 

"I can't believe I just took my clothes off in front of perfect strangers!" Alex whined. 

"You were absolutely stunning," Madelyn assured her. "You heard Carolina, she could put you on a catwalk anywhere in the world!" 

"How much did that little session cost you?" Alex asked lifting her head from beneath the pillow. 

"Carolina and I are good friends, so I got the discounted rate!" Madelyn assured her. 

"Yeah, but I bet that is still more than the average person makes in a year!" Alex guessed. 

"For certain," Madelyn smiled. "But I'm not your average person!" Madelyn said proudly as she left Alex to wallow in her embarrassment. 

"That ain't no shit!" Alex said shaking her head as she buried it back under the pillow. 

*** 

"How did the day go at Madelyn's" Gavin asked with a wicked and telling grin. 

Alex let her fork fall to the table with a growl. 

"That well?" Gavin teased. 

"That woman is impossible!" Alex growled. "Sir." 

"I warned you," Gavin chuckled as he sipped his wine. "My beautiful Faust." 

"You could have given me that warning before I made the deal!" Alex said picking up her fork angrily. 

"You know, some things I assume are common sense," Gavin continued to tease. "Like poking a big bear with a stick...do I need to tell you not to do that?" he laughed as his phone rang. 

"There are days you can be so charming," Alex smiled at him falsely. "Today isn't one of them!" 

"Yes Maddy," Gavin laughed into the phone as his eyes sparkled at her in laughter. "No, she is still angry." 

He looked to Alex who was shaking her head and having a conversations with herself silently. Her lips moving, but no sound coming out. It appeared she was arguing with her invisible shoulder angel/devil combo, as she turned her head to talk to one silently, then the other with a sarcastic shake of her head. 

"Really?" Gavin's change in tone caused her to snap her head up and look at him. "Tell that photographer I would like copies of those!" 

"Gavin! Don't you dare!" Alex threatened as he got up and walked away from the table. "You don't need pictures you have the real thing!" 

Gavin laughed all the way to the office. 

"Asshole!" Alex gasped softly from the table. 

"Asshole...Sir! That will be twenty!" Gavin called out from the office. This caused Alex to laugh as she didn't expect him to hear her. 

*** 

Alex laid on the bed, her body naked, her face down on the soft sheets. Her hands bound together and tied to the headboard. Her legs spread and tied individually to the side posts of the footboard. 

Gavin ran his lips gently over her skin, causing a cascading wave of goose bumps to radiate from his lips across her accepting flesh. She shivered when the pleasure bumps hit the edges of her body. 

His hot, soft tongue eased out of his mouth and followed her spine lower. Starting from her shoulder blades, down. His magical hands gently running his fingertips over her hot skin. He had already made her cum multiple times, her body hot from her throes of orgasms. Now he slowed the pace down. From her rocketing elation of bliss to a slow tango of pleasurable kisses from his skilled lips. 

Her hips raised when he hit her waistline, her firm ass lifting off the mattress to invite him in. He smiled when she did this. Knowing she was wanting to please him in every facet of their lives. Gently tempting him with a most delicious treat. How does he explain to her that she has accomplished pleasing him without even getting undressed? 

His trailing hands gently took a half moon each and eased her apart. Her delta of pleasure revealing all to him. His tongue continued to taste her flesh. To taste her perfume, her sweat. Her. He reveled in its entirety as it saturated his tongue.  

His tongue found her slightly gaped anus, and he ran his tongue around it. The rippled edges smoothing out as he pulled her cheeks further apart to allow himself access into her most taboo recesses. She gasped as he tongued her there. Her hands pulling on the restraints as her pleasure took over her body. 

Pulling his tongue from her caused her to whimper slightly. He allowed his hands to release her cheeks and his finger tips to follow the mid line of her ass down and under her, his fingers gently brushing the lips of her glorious sex causing her to jolt with convulsions as the sensitivity of them were already heightened from her repeated orgasms. 

He laid on his stomach, flat, in between her legs. His hands slowly sliding up her legs, across her waxed sex and cupping her hips from underneath. He sat there admiring the view, her completely hairless sex in front of him. Her lips engorged with blood, her holes slightly open, inviting whatever invasion he had in mind. Her sex glistening with her cum. 

She waited with her eyes closed, feeling his hot breath on her most sensitive and most private of areas. Her legs began to tremble in anticipation, her breathing quickened as only Gavin could make her do. 

He started by barely touching her with his tongue, the very tip on the very edges of her, causing her to gasp as her whole body began to match her legs. The shaking of excitement causing her to smile. God this man knew what the fuck he was doing! He knew just how to touch her, just how to kiss her. He knew things that even she didn't know about her own pleasure until he showed her. He was an encyclopedia of knowledge on how to please a woman! 

After a few moments of gently touching her outer sex, he pulled hard on her hips and drove his face forward burying his tongue in her, his nose pressing against her anus to double the feelings. It wasn't intentional, his nose, it just seemed to be right where her taboo was when he buried his tongue deep within her. Yet another sign from God himself, that this man, was made just for her she assumed. 

He ravaged her, leaving no recess unplundered by this tongue. Her cum gushing out of her to show him just how satisfied she was. Her body releasing its pleasure for him to lap up before diving into her ass. His tongue reaching deep within her as she pressed back into his face, pulling his tongue deeper, but she wanted him even deeper! 

Back and forth he went, from her sex to her ass, then back again. Bringing her orally to Nirvana time and time again. She stopped counting the number of orgasms altogether, she didn't care. Now it was only about losing each other in their pleasure. 

He began to trail his tongue back up, leaving her sex moving up her body slowly, with one last dive into her tight anus before swirling it around to leave to follow the split in her magnificent ass. 

Back across the small of her back, up her spine, returning from where he came. Only this time, he let his cock fall in between them, his large head slipping easily into her wet and sticky sex. With one firm thrust he buried himself deep within her. 

"Fuck yes!" she gasped as he filled her. "That's what I need Sir!" 

He said nothing as he used his lips and teeth to nibble on her delicious flesh. He could eat her in every way imaginable right now. She always brought this out of him. This desire to possess her wholly. To swallow her completely. Body, mind and soul. 

His hand firmly pulled her head to the side to reveal half her beauty. Her profile. He suckled on her ear, his hot, heavy breath filling it with his passion. It caused her to convulse as yet another orgasm washed from her. Her mouth opening and hanging ajar as her orgasm controlled her body muscles. 

Her face reddening beautifully as he watched her for a moment as her orgasm ebbed. He took the opportunity to cover her mouth with his and his tongue to dance with hers. As his fingers wrapped tightly in her auburn locks to keep her from moving away, like she would if she could. 

She screamed happily into his mouth as she came hard, the sloshing of her sex telling them both she had squirted. She never used to do that, she remembered. Only with him did she find that not only was she capable of such a powerful orgasm, but it had become the norm. He had told her it was because she was finally at ease with her lover, no holding back, no reservations. Completely submitted to her pleasure. 

He then hooked his arms under her and cupped her shoulders from underneath. He pulled her down and shoved his hips up, driving his rock hard cock deep within her over and over. His groin slapping her cheeks slowly at first, but powerfully. The sound of their skin striking making them both smile. Gradually he increased his speed. Faster and faster, stronger and stronger. 

Her body rocking back as best she could, driving back into him, meeting his every thrust. Gaining speed when he did. Soon it was like a jackhammer pounding into her, the only time she didn't thrust back was when her orgasm locked her into a fit of strained, paralyzed muscles, only released when her cum washed out around him. She then would fall right back into rhythm with him, like she had never missed a beat. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 36



She watched from the corner of her eye. She saw it building on his face and she reveled in it. 

"Yes," she said in between grunts of her thrusts. "Give it to me Sir! Please! Give it to me! Fill me with your cum!" 

With a growl and a plant of his mouth over hers he spilled into her, his body flooding hers with hot shots of passion. His cock bucking against her soft folds of her sex, while her sex greedily gripped and milked every drop of him. He laid his body across hers, their breathing sharp and rapid. Matching their lovemaking. 

He released her very reluctantly, and she laid there while he gently rubbed her body. Her muscles loosening as he gently massaged away her fatigue brought on by her mind numbing orgasms. It didn't matter that she was working out daily now. Trying to lose that last ten pounds before the wedding. Ten pounds he argued she didn't need to lose. Her body still felt completely exhausted after each and every one of their sessions. He just completely wore her out! 

Now she laid there as he gently kneaded the stiffness away. His lips still hovering on her skin from time to time as he couldn't stop tasting her it seemed. She let him. Without a complaint or care in the world. 

*** 

Chapter 48 

"Hey Dad," Livy smiled as she opened the door fully to let him in. 

"Hey baby," he smiled kissing his daughter on the cheek. "There she is!" Al called out as Nora came to him in a dead sprint then leapt into his arms. 

"Grandpa!" she screeched through the air. 

"How's my girl?" he asked hugging her. 

"Great!" Nora exclaimed as she bounced in his arms. 

"Poker again tonight?" Al asked looking at Livy. She nodded. "I can't believe you are shearing the shepherds!" He mocked about her constant victories on Thursday night against the religious leaders of the town. 

"Hey, I'm on a mission from God!" Livy teased. 

"Or Satan," Al joked. 

"Now you sound like Mom!" Livy warned with a playful smile. 

"Ouch!" 

"How's everything going there?" Livy asked carefully trying to mask the adult question from her daughter. 

"The same," Al frowned. This made Livy shake her head. Her parent's marriage was still on the rocks then. "Don't you worry about it!" Al demanded, lifting her chin with his finger. 

"How could I possibly not worry about it?" Livy gasped. "Everything I touch if falling to pieces! I'm worse than Schleprock!" 

"This is not about you," Al said firmly. "This is all about her." 

"Dad!" Livy shook her head. 

"This is not your doing," Al said again. Livy wiped her tear away before Nora saw it. She shook her head to disagree with him. 

She closed the door after they left and rested her forehead on the wood. She had ended her marriage, because of it, her parents were now in constant fight mode. Her older sisters were shunning her. They had not spoken to her in weeks, they were not returning her phone calls or her invitations for dinner or lunch. Neither of them had even come to see her apartment. 

Her mother hadn't spoken to her since the night she kicked her out of the apartment. And if that wasn't enough, her feelings for her priest were not waning as she hoped. If anything they were growing. He knew it too, she could tell by the guilt on his face as he tried to just be her spiritual advisor. Each and every innocent touch had them both thinking thoughts they shouldn't be having. 

She thought about just leaving the poker games, limiting her interactions with Father Jack with just Mass on Sunday, but each time she would spend the first part of the week convincing herself to stay away, only to go to Wednesday night Catechism classes and see him there, which blew her plans to stay away to smithereens. 

If there could be anything that could possibly put more stress on her she couldn't think of it! Her world was a façade! She smiled and assured Jack she was fine, when she wasn't. She smiled when her father would ask if she was ok about her sisters, she wasn't. Then when Jack asked about her parents she smiled the lie to him as well. When Alex would ask about her new life in the Catholic Church, she would lie there as well. 

Her life was one big mess, and she had no idea on how to clean it up. She had no idea how move amongst the problems of her life. It was bearing down on her like an avalanche of regret. One decision seemed to wreck her entire life. Maybe this was actually a punishment from God for breaking her vow. Perhaps Jack had it wrong. Father Jack she reminded herself. She sat in front of the door and cried. 

She picked up her phone and called Alex. She needed a pick me up, and Alex seemed the only one who could provide it. 

"Hello?" Gavin's voice came over the line. 

"Hey Gavin," Livy smiled at his deep voice. A man who made her sister smile. 

"Hey Liv, what's wrong?" he asked immediately. 

"What makes you think something is wrong?" Livy asked. 

"Your voice," he said firmly. 

"You can tell something is wrong by two words?" Livy asked, astonished. 

"Yes," he said simply. 

"How is Alex doing with the wedding stuff?" Livy asked trying to dodge his concern. 

"I figure Maddy will have her in an asylum before it is all said and done," Gavin told her with a chuckle. "Now, stop changing the subject...what's wrong?" 

"Impossible men," Livy smiled. 

"We are," Gavin agreed. "How can I help?" 

"I don't think there is anything you can help with," Livy said with a sigh, wiping the tear away. 

"Livy," Gavin began slowly. "I know you still think the problems you have are your doing, but they are not! You deserve happiness. One day you are going to find a man that makes you smile with the mere mention of his name. That's what you deserve." 

"What if I find this illusion of a man you speak of and he's taken?" Livy asked as she let her head drop back with a thud to the door. 

"You mean Jack?" Gavin asked carefully. 

"What did my sister tell you?" Livy asked her face draining. 

"Nothing," Gavin smiled. "I have talked to you enough to know you have feelings for him. It is obvious to me, because I see your sister talk about me the same way. The same tone of voice." 

"What kind of horrible person am I that I have eyes for the town priest?" Livy asked him in disbelief. 

"It makes you human," Gavin corrected. "Not horrible. You can't stop love, it's an emotion beyond control." 

"So I'm damned?" 

"Not at all," Gavin disagreed. "I'm just afraid you might get hurt again if he chooses his service to God over you. Is that what you want?" 

"No. What I really want, is to become numb, to stop thinking, to stop caring," Livy told him. "Most of all I want to stop crying! I want to become the lie I have painted for my daughter! To stop crying in front of her!" 

"Don't you do that!" Gavin growled. "This world has enough monsters, enough anger, enough racism, enough hatred and enough apathy! What it doesn't have enough of is humanity! Don't stop being human! Crying means you are human, that you need help, that you have a heart!" 

"Thanks Gavin," Livy smiled. "I'm so glad my sister found a good man!" 

"Who is this man you speak of?" Gavin mocked angrily. "I shall have his head on a platter!" 

"You goof," Livy laughed. "If you weren't so perfect for each other I would feel sorry for you having to marry my sister!" 

"See, just like a man," Gavin teased. "I'm lying and cheating to steal the perfect woman from mankind!" 

"Speak of the Devil," Gavin chuckled. "Here is Faust." There was a shuffling as he handed the phone to Alex. 

"Hey!" Alex greeted happily 

"Faust?" Livy laughed. 

"Don't ask!" Alex growled. 

"Oh no! That has to be explained!" Livy demanded. Her heart lightening with the story Alex spun and the words Gavin said to her. A temporary reprieve from the avalanche of guilt she was buried in almost constantly now. 

*** 

"Hey Dad!" Livy smiled as she watched her father and Nora come up the sidewalk. "Hey Baby!" Livy said squatting down to take her daughter in for a hug. But this hug was different. Nora didn't wrap her arms around her mother like she normally did. She didn't squeeze her. 

"You ok?" Livy asked, her face showing her concern. Nora didn't answer except with a single nod. Livy looked up to her father who shrugged as he watched the scene. 

"Well, guess what? I won you some more money for you college fund!" Livy said excitedly as she gently shook her daughter's hips. 

"Thanks Mom," Nora said with little emotion. 

Livy felt her daughter's forehead, checking for a fever, because this was not the normal Nora behavior. She hoped she wasn't coming down with some sort of bug. 

"You feeling ok?" Livy asked her daughter again. 

"Yes Mother, I'm fine," Nora said staring at the ground. 

"Ok baby," Livy choked out. The robotic name 'mother' caused her skin to crawl. She had never heard Nora call her that. "Why don't you go inside and brush your teeth and get ready for bed." 

Livy watched over her shoulder as her daughter maneuvered around her and went inside. She looked up at her father and stood. 

"I don't know," Al said, answering Livy's questioning eyes. "She was fine all night!" 

"Then what's up?" Livy asked him. Al shrugged. "Something happened! That's not Nora's normal behavior!" 

"I agree," Al nodded. "She was that way when she came home from getting ice cream with Marylyn." 

"Did Mom say something happened?" Livy asked holding her stomach. 

"No," Al said softly. "I just..." 

"What?" Livy questioned when he stopped talking. 

"Nora was fine, her normal rambunctious self...then she goes for ice cream and comes back...well that!" Al said pointing to the open door that Nora disappeared through. 

"But Mom didn't say anything?" 

"No, she didn't," Al affirmed. "Look it's probably nothing." Al said knowing they both knew that was a lie. The energetic girl could not be calmed down without an animal tranquilizer. She ran constantly. She talked constantly. She was always 100 miles an hour until sleep hit her. 

*** 

Livy hardly slept, the concern for Nora kept her walking in and checking on her in the night. When the alarm went off the next morning, Livy drug herself out of bed and into Nora's room only to find the girl already up and dressed. 

"You're up!" Livy tried to smile to keep things normal. Nora nodded. Dammit, Livy snarled to herself when her normal chatter box daughter didn't talk. "Have you bathed?" Livy asked her. Nora shook her head. 

"Baby you can't go all day without bathing, back to the bathroom and let's take a quick bath," Nora nodded and pushed away from the table. 

Running the bathwater Livy checked the temperature of the water. When she turned she gasped. On Nora's tiny arm were distinct bruises, just above the elbow. 

"Nora!" Livy barked. "What happened to your arm?" Livy was on her in a flash as Nora tried to cover up the purple bruises with her small hand. 

"Nothing," Nora lied. 

"Absolutely not!" Livy told her pulling her hand away. "Where did you get these?" 

Nora shook her head and shrugged. 

"Nora!" Livy said exasperatingly. 

"It's ok Mommy, she didn't mean to!" Nora tried to defend. 

"Someone did this to you?" Livy asked, the air leaving her lungs with the statement from her daughter. Livy's lip trembled and her stomach twisted. Nora nodded. "Who?" 

"Daddy's girlfriend," Nora whispered. 

"What?" Livy was beside herself now. 

"Are you mad at me Mommy?" Nora asked her with tears filling her eyes. 

Livy took her shaking daughter in her arms and held her tightly. The tears running down her face, the fear being replaced with anger, then remorse. 

"No, absolutely not!" Livy assured her. "You have done nothing wrong!" She kissed her daughter multiple times and found Nora crying too. The two just sat on the floor of the bathroom holding each other, sharing their tears and their comfort with one another. 

"I need you to tell me the truth, I want to know what happened," Livy said after a good cry. 

Nora explained what had happened, Livy seethed with every word her daughter said. She hoped that the anger that was coursing through her was not coming out and worrying her daughter but there was no way to keep the anger back. No way, no how! 

*** 

Livy nearly blasted through her parent's front door. Her anger boiling over and spilling out, destroying everything she touched. 

"Where is she?" Livy growled at her father who could only look to his daughter stunned and confused at the anger exploding from her. 

"Your mother is in the kitchen," Al said looking upon Livy as if she would attack him at any moment. Livy blew by him headed for the kitchen and Al hurried to catch up with her. Slamming through the swinging door causing it to hammer the counter behind it causing Marylyn to jump at the sudden explosive sound. 

"What did I say?" Livy yelled, her face red with anger. 

"What?" Marylyn mumbled as she saw the rage in her daughter's eyes. 

"What did I say?" Livy repeated her voice cracking with tears and anger. "I said my daughter was not to be taken over to Don's house! I can't believe you directly disrespected my wishes!" 

"I...I...," Marylyn began to stutter, shocked at the rage. 

"That cunt hurt my NORA!" Livy raged vehemently. Stalking her mother around the table which her mother was trying to keep between them. "I fucking said not to take her there, but you let her get hurt! You did this to her!" Livy tossed her phone to the table with a clatter as Al took his daughter in his arms to keep her from attacking her mother. 

Marylyn carefully picked up the phone and saw the picture on it, the distinct bruises easily seen. 

"No," Marylyn tried to say in defense. "This must have happened sometime when she was playing!" 

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Livy screamed as she struggled against her father's hold. The defense her mother tried to come up enraging her, an attempt to blame Nora. Marylyn looked to Al who was doing all he could to keep Livy at bay. Suddenly Livy collapsed to the floor sobbing as Al fell to the floor with her. 

"How could you?" Livy kept repeating as Al held her tightly. "You let my Nora get hurt! You fucking bitch! You fucking bitch! You hurt my Nora!" 

"I didn't, I didn't!" Marylyn defended looking at the picture as it blurred in her tears. 

The scream filled the kitchen and Livy was gone from Al's grip as she suddenly changed direction and ran from the house. Al tried to go after her, but Livy was gone with a bark of the tires. 

Al came back in and glared at his wife as she stared at the phone while she sat at the table. 

"What did Livy tell you to do?" Al asked her. His arm screaming in pain. His chest crushing in on itself. 

"She said Nora wasn't to see her father," Marylyn whispered. Al clutched his chest as he struggled with his breath. 

"Why did you take her then?" Al growled with raspy breath. 

"We raised our daughter better than that!" Marylyn tried to defend her actions. "He loves his daughter, he wants to see her!" 

"Fuck you," Al hissed. "Livy is in control of Nora's future! Don wanted nothing to do with her, he only wanted that little bitch of whore he knocked up!" 

"I'm sorry!" Marylyn tried. 

"You haven't even scratched the surface of being sorry!" Al threatened. His body becoming rigid as he grabbed his keys from the counter. 

"Where are you going?" she asked him. 

"After our daughter, where else would I go?" Al screamed at her suddenly causing her to jump. He turned and slammed his hand through the door. "That's it, you had better hope Livy forgives you! If not, this marriage is over! I can't believe your stupidity and pride allowed our little Nora to get hurt! I will never, ever, forgive you for that!" 

Marylyn let her head fall to the table as she sobbed. 

*** 

"Marylyn," Don's face was as surprised as his voice. 

"Where is she?" Marylyn barked. 

"She's gone," Don said dropping his head. "She told me today, the baby isn't mine, and she left me for the real father." Don dropped the bombshell. 

"What?" Marylyn gasped. 

"She lied to us," Don said as they stood there in the doorway. "It belongs to another man." 

"Oh my heavens!" Marylyn said her tears falling from her eyes. 

"My whole life, a shambles," Don cried. "I lost Livy, Nora and now her." 

Marylyn looked up at him. 

"Come with me," Marylyn demanded. "We need to see Rev. Sellers!" 

Don nodded and followed Marylyn to her car. He couldn't think anymore. He couldn't believe he had destroyed everything for a woman who didn't love him and a child that wasn't his. 

*** 

The social worker came out with the plain clothes police officer. Livy stood as did Al who finally caught up with Livy as she sobbed at a stop light with people blaring their horns at her as she cried while the light was green. She just couldn't go anymore. 

"How is she?" Livy asked softly. 

"She's fine, she told us everything," the social worker said sitting the mother back down. "She overheard a phone call between your ex-husband's fiancée and someone else. She didn't hear everything but it sounds like she heard that your ex isn't the father of her baby. She found Nora listening and took her by the arm and shook her telling her not to say anything." 

"Oh my God!" Livy gasped. "How did I let that happen?" 

"Livy!" Al scolded. "You did not do this!" 

"I'm her mother! I supposed to protect her from the monsters!" Livy sobbed into her hands. 

"Livy," Al said firmly pulling her face to his. "You did not do this! She did! He allowed it! But that little bitch did this! No one else!" 

"I'm supposed to protect her!" Livy continued to cry. "If I can't protect her, I'm worthless! I don't deserve to be her mother!" Al pulled her in his arms and held her. He knew she would not listen to reason right now. Not with all that was swirling around her. 

"What now?" Al asked. 

"We will question the ex," the officer said. "And the fiancée. If we find this is true, then I'm suggesting an order of protection be sworn out." 

"Ms. Lasko?" the officer said softly touching her hand. "You will need to file charges on your daughter's behalf for this to go any further." 

"What will happen?" Livy asked. 

"If we find out this is true?" the officer asked. Livy nodded. 

"If that is the case, the fiancée will be charged with battery of a minor, and anyone that put her in that position may be liable as well," the officer said gently. 

"My mother?" Livy asked. 

"Possibly," the officer nodded. "If she knew this woman was a danger, yes, she will be liable." 

Livy looked to her father who nodded at her. 

"Do it," Al said for his daughter. "Nail anyone who hurt our Nora!" The officer nodded as Livy buried her face and howled tears as she agreed with a nod. 

*** 

Livy opened her apartment door, she had spent the better part of the afternoon crying. Crying for allowing Nora to get hurt. Her father had tried to assure her that she was a good mother, but it had fallen on deaf ears. Livy was not about to absolve herself from her inability to protect Nora. It had destroyed her to her very core. 

Seeing her mother standing outside of her apartment made her want to scream, the second thought was to punch her mother so hard that all her frustrations would relieve themselves. 

"What do you want?" Livy scowled instead. 

Her mother tilted her head sympathetically. 

"I would have never allowed Nora to go over there if I felt she was in danger!" Marylyn tried to defend. 

"I told you she wasn't to go over there at all!" Livy reminded. 

"I have done a pretty good job at raising kids! I should know if someone is in danger!" Marylyn continued. 

"Obviously you are wrong!" 

"Are you going to make your mother stand outside?" Marylyn asked as Livy hadn't moved from the doorway. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 36



"What do you want?" Livy asked again unbendingly. 

"I'm sorry," Marylyn said finally. "Is that what you want to hear?" Marylyn waited for Livy to say something but she didn't. Instead she looked at her mother with an unhealthy hatred. 

"I'm...sorry!" her mother tried again. 

Livy reluctantly moved to the side and allowed her mother to come in, which really wasn't what she wanted. Marylyn came in smiling and went to the couch and set her purse down and sat near the chair. She patted it when Livy stood across from her with her arms across her chest defiantly. 

Livy was seething. She wanted to tear her mother apart, not just verbally, but physically as well. She just couldn't comprehend how her mother was taking a side against her daughter. How she could put one of her grandkids in position to be hurt. Father Jack had counseled her that her mother may not have known that Nora was in danger and that she was just as shocked as the rest of them. 

At first, Livy thought Jack was defending her mother but he corrected her quickly. He was not defending Marylyn, only pointing out that it was possible that she didn't know. He agreed with Livy that it was irrelevant as Marylyn should have respected her daughter's wishes by not putting Nora in that position to begin with. 

Livy reluctantly sat. 

"I have some good news!" Marylyn said excitedly. 

"What's that?" 

"I talked to Don and Rev. Sellers," Marylyn began picking up her daughter's hand and holding it. Livy looked down to it. It was the first time she had touched her daughter affectionately since Livy left Don. 

"You did?" Livy asked beginning to prepare herself. 

"Yes!" Marylyn said happily. "Don is willing to take you back! And Rev. Sellers said the church would welcome you back with open arms if you and Don got back together!" 

Livy sat there staring at her mother, it must have been some sick joke. Maybe her anger had made her ears decipher what her mother said wrong. Perhaps, just perhaps, Rod Serling was going to come out and begin his monologue on this episode of the Twilight Zone. 

"What?" Livy was stunned, and she was now glad she was sitting down as her legs would not have been able to hold her upright after such a declaration. 

The church would welcome her back with open arms IF? What the hell did that mean? And Don was willing to take her back? Livy's mind scrambled to decipher what was going on. This was turning into some horrible nightmare. Her daughter abused, her mother now sitting here trying to convince her to go back to her ex-husband. 

"Don't you see?" Marylyn asked. "Now that the truth has been revealed, Don isn't the father of the baby...that's why you left him. Now you know he didn't get another woman pregnant so you have no reason to be divorced!" 

"What about the fact he has cheated on my repeatedly?" Livy asked shocked. 

"Now, you know Rev. Sellers has already told you that God doesn't look at what he did as a sin!" Marylyn told her patting her hand. Trying to sell this suggestion. "Look, he has promised me he would never do that again if you came back!" 

"He promised you?" Livy scoffed. "Why is he promising you anything? It was me he betrayed!" 

"Livy," Marylyn began with a shake of her head. "This is an opportunity to return to the church, to walk away from that devil's playground wrapped around the idea of Catholicism!" 

Livy buried her face in her hands and laughed. Not because she was happy. Not because this was good news and definitely not because she found this funny! She laughed because it was the only thing her brain could come up with. It was as if Livy's brain was throwing up its hands and saying 'Yeah, I got nothing' in reference to coming up with something to say. 

"You want me to go back to Don, a man who turned his back on me and our vows. A man who signed away his daughter for a house?" Livy repeated back in an effort to show her mother how ludicrous this sounded. Perhaps if her mother heard just how crazy it sounded she would retract the statement. Livy looked to her and saw that wasn't going to happen. 

"You want me to return to a church that vilified me, shunned me when I needed it the most but accepted those that should have been held accountable?" Livy continued slowly, waiting for her mother to interrupt her and say it was a crazy idea to suggest it. 

"Think of how much this whole sordid divorce has damaged our reputation in the church!" Marylyn defended. "It's bad enough to have one daughter who has fallen from God's graces! But to have two defy our Lord and the church?" 

"How this has damaged your reputation?" Livy repeated back to her mother carefully. 

"Yes, we have been humiliated that this sin of yours had torn this family apart!" Marylyn told her with a shake of her head. 

"But he cheated on me! He broke his vow to me and to God!" Livy cried. 

"The Bible says men aren't held to that standard! Some of the Bible's greatest men had multiple women!" Marylyn reminded. 

"You can't pick and choose what parts of the Bible to live by!" Father Jack's voice startled Marylyn as he came from the kitchen. His black suit and white collar told Marylyn exactly who he was. 

"You are taking parts of the Bible that have no relevance in today's society," Jack continued as he came and put a comforting hand on Livy's shaking shoulder as she sat there with her fingers over her mouth still trying to decide if this was an episode of the Twilight Zone. 

"I'm sorry," Marylyn began. "I wasn't aware you were here!" 

"Don had obligations, to Livy, to his daughter...but most of all, he had a promise to God himself!" Jack told her. "The vows of marriage are not negotiable! You can't pick and choose which vows to obey and which vows to betray." 

"And you are?" Marylyn asked. 

"I'm Livy's spiritual advisor...I'm Livy's friend," Jack told her. 

"I see," Marylyn frowned looking at her daughter. 

"This is Father Jack," Livy said taking his hand which was resting on her shoulder. "He and Alex have been my greatest help!" 

"You should know Livy has been baptized in our church," Marylyn pointed out. 

"In contaminated water," Jack said. 

"Excuse me?" Marylyn countered. 

"Your church is tainted with the wrong beliefs," Jack informed her. "I don't normally fault other religions as I believe a person's belief is a personal choice. But after hearing what you are saying, and what your preacher said before. Couple all of that with the way your church as chosen to excommunicate Livy...I can unequivocally say, your church doesn't have the first damn clue as to what God is about, and He most certainly has blessed anything in it!" 

"How dare you interfere with the raising of our daughter?" Marylyn gasped. 

"You are not raising me!" Livy came in. "I'm a woman, I'm an adult! I have a child of my own! I'm in charge of my life!" 

"And look where that has gotten you!" Marylyn barked. 

Livy looked at her blankly. Then laughed. She covered her mouth with her fingers and looked to Jack who watched her carefully. Livy turned back to her mother. 

"Let me see if I have this straight," Livy said shaking her head. "You want me to go back to Don, not because you want me happy...but you want to save face?" 

"You were happy with Don!" Marylyn pointed out. 

"I haven't been happy with Don since the first time he cheated on me years ago!" Livy told her. "But for the first time in a long time, I am happy now!" 

"Yeah," Marylyn countered angrily. "You look it!" 

"I look it?" Livy growled. "Fuck you! I'm not happy right now because my bitch of a mother disobeyed my wishes and put my daughter in a position to be abused! I'm not happy that half of my family has disowned me because I won't allow my ex-husband to cheat on me at will! Taking his side over me!" 

"I'm not happy you are standing her looking at the one man in my life that has tried to help me through all the bullshit you are putting me through like he is the enemy!" Livy continued standing up suddenly causing Marylyn to draw back as Jack held on to Livy's shoulder. 

"I'm done with you Marylyn," Livy told her angrily. "You stay away from me! And if I catch you within a hundred feet of Nora, I will fucking beat the shit out of you! We are done!" Livy stormed away from the living room slamming the door to her bedroom. 

Marylyn looked to the hallway shocked at her daughter's words. Shocked at how this opportunity to return to the good graces of her church was now shattered. She would still be the laughing stock of the church. 

She had heard the whispers behind her back from the other parishioners. She had spun the defiance by Alex into sympathy from the church. But that ended when Livy defied her mother and Rev. Sellers by not forgiving Don and sticking with the marriage. 

Now she was ridiculed for having two daughters who lived in sin. Blame was being placed on her for that. They said she wasn't the good mother or the good Christian she proclaimed herself to be! If one daughter lived in sin it was excusable, but two? That it was poor parenting! She looked up to Jack who was watching her carefully. 

"Do you see what you have done?" Marylyn asked. 

"Yes," Jack said with a nod. "I have given Livy the strength to find God and to understand, she is in charge of her happiness." 

"You think talking to her mother that way is what God wants?" Marylyn asked him. 

"That depends," Jack sighed realizing Marylyn was not about to take any accountability for the situation. He began to walk back towards the bedroom where Livy had disappeared. 

"On what?" Marylyn asked standing up. Jack turned to face her. 

"On the mother," Jack shrugged. "I'm sure you can find your way out." Jack left Marylyn standing in the living room shocked. 

*** 

Marylyn sat at the kitchen table, her Bible open in front of her. Her coffee untouched as she thought of ways to salvage everything. She thought of her marriage, was Al serious in his threat? Her standing in the church, could she revive her once good name if Livy didn't come back and become Don's wife again? 

Al walked in and looked to her and her open Bible. 

"Did you apologize to our daughter?" Al asked her. He had sent Marylyn over to apologize. Something she refused to do because she felt she had done nothing wrong. 

"I tried," Marylyn told him softly. 

"What did she say?" Al asked her. 

"She rejected everything I had to offer," she told him looking down at her hands. 

"Everything you had to offer?" Al asked her. He didn't like the way she said it. 

"Yes," Marylyn nodded. "I thought she would be happy to know that Don was willing to take her back as his wife. That the church would forgive her for her sin of divorce if she remarried Don. That things could go back to the way they were!" 

Al's heart broke. This woman before him was not the woman he fell in love with. This was not the woman he married. She was not the woman he bore children with and made a life together with through the years. Somewhere along the way, the woman he fell in love with disappeared. Replaced with the religious zealot in front of him. 

"So let me see if I have this straight," Al began slowly leaning against the counter as his legs weakened. His chest began to tighten and his breath became labored. He was finding his vision blackening and he shook his head. His body began to gather a light film of sweat even though it was cool in the house. His back, neck and jaw hurt from the stress. 

"I sent you over there to apologize to Livy, to get her forgiveness," Al continued as he rubbed his upper arm. "As a way to save our marriage...you instead tried to save your precious pride in front of your church." 

"My church is my foundation!" Marylyn shot back not lifting her eyes. 

"Your foundation?" Al repeated. "No, it's your everything," Al pointed out. "It's a good thing too...let's see how your church accepts you when you are a divorcee yourself. I refuse to live with a woman who puts her pride, a woman who puts herself before her children...or her husband." 

Al made his way to the door as Marylyn looked to him with tears rocketing down her face. His feet drug, and he staggered slightly. He stopped at the door to gather his breath, it wouldn't come back to him. 

"I want you to pack some things, go over to Brandy's or Krista's for the time being," Al told her. "I can't even stand the sight of you right now!" 

"Al!" Marylyn gasped as she thought how this would look in the church. 

"Enough!" Al bellowed causing her to cower. "You are so quick to use your God, your Bible, your Church's teaching to defend yourself. Well your precious church says my daughter has to obey her husband, even though he is the one that cheated! Therefore you have to do the same! That is, unless of course, you know that to be bullshit! Which is it? Is the wife to obey her husband no matter what, otherwise it is direct defiance to God? Or can she pick and choose? That is what you are saying, so which is it? Are you going to defy God and disobey me? Hypocrite!" 

Al slammed the door so hard that coffee cups fell from their hooks under the cabinet and shattered on the counter. 

*** 

"No," Gavin said as he ran his hand over his face. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing. His heart hurt and he was on the verge of tears. 

Alex walked in and dropped her purse on the floor by the couch and fell to it dramatically, like a tree being cut down in the forest, as she had to endure another long afternoon with Madelyn. 

"No, I'll take care of it," Gavin said into the phone. He hung up and looked to his beautiful, exhausted fiancé. 

"That woman is going to be the death of me," Alex said with her face buried within the pillow. 

"Alex," Gavin began slowly as he sat on the table in front of the couch. 

"Alex?" the woman laughed from the pillow. "Are we going to have that discussion again?" Alex dropped the pillow and looked to him. Her smiled waned as she saw the pain in his eyes and the stress in his face. 

"What's the matter?" she asked him sitting up quickly. "I was just kidding about Madelyn!" 

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "It's not that." He took Alex's hand and stared at it for a minute and Alex forgot how to breathe. He looked to her and then brought his other hand to her face softly. 

"We have to go to Pennsylvania," Gavin began slowly, softly and lovingly. "They have rushed your father into emergency surgery." 

Alex screamed. It was short and fearful. 

"What happened?" she asked, her voice quivering. 

"Your neighbor found him in the yard," Gavin explained. "It looks like a heart attack." 

"NO!" Alex gasped. "NO! NO! NOOOO!" Gavin took Alex into his arms and squeezed her tightly as she clutched him. "How bad is it?" 

"I don't know for sure, they don't know for sure, and won't until they get him open," Gavin explained. "Madelyn has the jet waiting for us, let's go." 

"We need to pack," Alex said her brain struggling to work. 

"No," Gavin said firmly. "Anything we need we can buy...right now we just need to get there!" Alex nodded numbly as he lifted her up as he stood. He held her tightly as he walked her out of the apartment. 

*** 

Chapter 49 

The family sat in the hallway leading to the operating rooms. Marylyn, Krista, Brandy and their families to one side of the hallway. Livy and Nora on the other side. While separated by only a few physical feet, the emotional and mental divide was wider than the oceans. It was evident to even those who didn't know the family. Most people who passed assumed they were waiting on separate surgeries. 

Trevor watched his mother and grandmother scowl at Livy, the three of them barely saying a word except with their eyes. He didn't like all the blame being placed at Livy's feet. He didn't agree with them, Livy did what she had to do. Divorcing Don, in his opinion at least, was the least she could have done. His opinion was met with ridicule and even punishment. Being grounded for defending Livy at dinner one night. 

Trevor got up and went to Livy and squatted to look at Nora. 

"Hey squirt," he said softly taking her hand. "What do you say we go downstairs to the cafeteria and see what they have in their vending machines to snack on?" 

Livy smiled at him and wanted to hug him for breaking the icy cold silence there in the hallway. Nora nodded her head and slipped from her mother's lap. 

"Thank you Trevor," Livy smiled. She pulled her purse to her. 

"No, I got it," he said with a shake of his head at the offer of money. He stood and leaned into her hugging her. She choked back a sob. "We'll take our time," he whispered in her ear. She nodded at him and kissed his cheek. 

She watched Nora and Trevor go to the elevator. Trevor holding her hand the entire way. Nora looked back at her mother and Livy braved a smile and a wave. Nora waved back just as the door opened and they stepped on. 

Once the kids were gone Livy leaned forward and buried her face in her hands and disappeared into the darkness of them. 

"I hope you are happy with yourself," came Krista's voice. 

Livy looked up at her. 

"What?" she whispered. 

"This is your doing," Brandy scowled. Livy furrowed her brow in shock and shook her head. 

"Don't shake your head!" Krista growled. "If you hadn't been so selfish! The divorce, dividing this family, putting all this pressure on Dad!" 

"This isn't my fault," Livy squeaked with a shaking lip. 

"How can it not be your fault?" Brandy asked her. 

"Everybody was happy until you decided you needed a divorce!" Krista pointed out. "Precious little Livy has to have her way!" Livy shook her head as the world that was being held together by a thin thread began to unravel and come apart at the seams. 

"I didn't want a divorce!" Livy tried. "I was left no choice!" 

"You had a choice," her mother finally chirped. "You chose to walk with the devil instead of God and this is His punishment! You committed the sin, but my husband is paying the price!" 

"No, that's not fair!" Livy cried. Her lips trembling, matching her hands. 

"You've killed your father!" Marylyn yelled causing Livy to jump. 

"No, the doctor said...," Livy stumbled. 

"The doctor said not to get our hopes up," Brandy yelled standing with her mother now side by side as they walked toward Livy who coward backward into her seat. 

"That's what doctors say when they know all is lost!" Krista pointed out. 

Livy's head began to shake from side to side her tears cascading down her face, her mind scrambling from believing what they were saying to fighting to believe that everything was going to be ok. 

"So, in the matter of months, you have destroyed your marriage, and killed your father," Marylyn said cruelly. "You call that walking with God? Is that what you have learned at that Catholic Church?" 

Livy hung her head and cried. Large, heavy tears, falling to make a puddle on the floor as she struggled to breathe. She struggle to comprehend that her family had fully turned on her. She looked up at the way they were towering over her now and for the first time, she was afraid. Afraid they may hurt her. But most of all, afraid they were right! 

Livy bolted from them running for the door of the hospital, her mind screaming and tearing in a hundred different directions. Like her life. Like her family. 

*** 

Alex and Gavin rushed up to the hospital, right before entering they turned their heads and thought they saw Livy run out the other door down the way. They didn't stop to check, instead rushing towards the surgery center. 

Marylyn, Krista and Brandy all swallowed hard when Alex came around the corner. 

"How is he?" she asked immediately. 

"He's in surgery, they aren't telling us anything," Krista said coolly looking to Brandy. Both had a look of fear, they didn't expect Alex to get here so quickly. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 36



Alex looked to Gavin. 

"I'll go back," he told her touching her face softly. "I'll be right back." He promised. She watched him enter the restricted zone, and a nurse go up to him. She saw him explain who he was and the nurse nodded that he could continue. 

"Aunt Alex!" Nora's voice had Alex spinning on her heel to see the young girl drop Trevor's hand and run towards her. Alex dropped to her knees instantly and took the girl in her arms and held her tightly. The small girl squeezed Alex tightly letting her know she didn't want to be let go. 

"Hey Trevor," Alex smiled at the teen. 

"Hey Aunt Alex," Trevor said to her. "She's been waiting for you." He said to his aunt. "We both have!" Trevor looked to his mother and grandmother. 

Now he knew they would back off Livy, there was no way the three of them had the balls to take on Alex. Not in this lifetime. He knew that for sure. Not against Alex! None dared to stand up to her, the one family member who could keep the wolves at bay. Livy could now relax, there would be no ganging up on her and he was thankful. 

"Where's your mommy?" Alex asked Nora. Nora shook her head. 

"She left," Brandy said shortly. 

"To go where?" Trevor asked. 

"Who cares," Marylyn growled. "Because of her, my husband is probably going to die!" 

"What?" Trevor got out before Alex could. 

"Trevor," Krista warned with her voice. She wanted her son to stay out of this, she warned him with her voice and her stare. 

"No, that's bullshit!" Trevor barked, ignoring both warnings. "You guys have been trying to blame her for everything!" 

"Trevor!" Krista barked. 

"What are going to do? Ground me again?" Trevor barked back. "Big deal!" 

"You are blaming this on Livy?" Alex snarled standing up pushing Nora back to Trevor. Trevor let a small grin cross his face as the three of them took a half step back. 

"Not so big and bad now that Alex is here!" he said to himself. Alex would settle this and put this family straight. He knew that! 

"If she hadn't got a divorce!" Brandy tried to say but Alex's look shut her off. 

"You bitch!" Alex growled taking another step towards her mother. Krista and Brandy moved away. "Is that what you have been filling her head with?" 

"It's true," Marylyn squeaked. 

The slap was sudden and loud. It spun Marylyn's head and caused her to stumble backwards. Krista and Brandy jumped at the assault just put on their mother. Alex's fiery eyes warned them they were next if they intervened. They instead took another cowardly step back. Alex continued to stalk her mother. Anger was drowning her! Her rage filling her body with trembles and tears. 

"ALEXANDRIA!" Gavin's voice carried down the hallway causing nurses to stop what they were doing and turn to the family now at war within itself. 

Alex froze, allowing Marylyn to stop moving away. 

"That is absolutely enough," Gavin warned her. "All of you. This bullshit ends right now!" 

They looked to him as he stood in front of the doors leading back to surgery. 

"Al is fighting for his life," Gavin told them. "The absolute last thing he needs is to see his family tearing itself apart! You had better get it together, for Al, he needs all of this to end!" 

Alex stood there shaking, seething at her mother who stood alone now. Krista and Brandy had backed off to where their husbands stood. Trevor had taken a hold of Nora and was holding her. 

Gavin walked to Alex and stood in front of her, cutting off her view of her mother. Alex hung her head, humiliated and infuriated. 

"How is he?" Alex whispered. 

"He's out of surgery," Gavin told her taking her gently into his arms. "He's going to be fine...they had to put stents in. It appears the doctor had been warning him to watch what he was eating, to lose some weight and start taking better care of himself...none of which he was doing." 

"He's going to be ok?" Trevor asked. 

"Yes," Gavin told him. "He can forget about the greasy hamburgers he likes so much! But yes, he is going to be fine. The stents are in, and he will have to do what the doctor said, he will have to change his diet, lose some weight...but he should be just fine!" He said this tilting Alex's face up. "The dangerous part is over, he is in post op, awake. I said hello and he smiled." 

*** 

Livy ran to the rectory behind the church. She pounded on the door, her tears falling, her body aching. He didn't answer, she had to talk to him. She spun and saw lights on in the church. She ran towards the sanctuary. 

She startled the nun who was praying there when she flung open the side door. 

"Livy," the woman said holding her hand over her heart to control the surprise at the woman who burst through the doors. 

"Where is Father Jack?" Livy asked her. 

The nun took the woman's hand. 

"He is in Mansfield, one of our parishioners had a baby," she told Livy. "He went to check on them." 

Livy closed her eyes and forced more tears to run down her face. 

"When is he due back?" Livy whispered. 

"I don't know...soon," the nun told her watching the tears fall. 

"Can I wait for him here?" Livy asked her. 

"Of course, my dear," the nun smiled. "I will tell him you are waiting for him." 

"Thank you," Livy smiled. 

"Are you ok?" the nun asked. 

"Yes," Livy lied. She was anything but ok, but she didn't want the woman to wait around with her. She needed privacy, she needed to be alone. 

"Ok," the nun smiled touching her face. "I'm sure he won't be long." Livy smiled, it took every ounce of energy she had. 

The nun left her in the sanctuary, Livy drug her feet all the way to the front pew. She more collapsed than sat. She looked up at the stained glass behind the pulpit. Christ in his final moments. His face tilted upward, the blood dripping from his crown of thorns and the spear's entry wound. It appeared Jesus was looking for someone, like she was. 

"Dear Heavenly Father," Livy began softly. "I need you now! I know I haven't been the best of your children...I have committed some atrocious sins! But my heart can't take this anymore! I have failed my daughter...allowing her to be hurt when I was charged with her safety. I have failed at marriage...thinking selfishly that we were better off separated...I now know that was wrong!" 

"I have lived in sin, thinking of sexual thoughts about your servant...I have tempted his faith in You...a shame and a sin I will never be forgiven for, I know. How can I possibly sit in Your house begging?" 

She reached into her pocket and pulled it out, she looked to her hand as she sat there with her father's pocket knife. He had worked on her car stereo, and had dropped it and forgot to pick it up. She never had a chance to give it back to him. She had taken it from the console of her car on the way in to talk to Jack. Her hands shook as she stared at it. 

"If I can't forgive myself, how can I ever expect You to forgive me?" she continued her prayer. "How can I possibly taint my child with my sin?" She pulled open the blade. "I can't. I won't! Please forgive my child, bless her for none of this was her fault!" 

"Forgive me Jack!" with that, Livy drew the sharp blade across her skin on her wrist. The pain causing her to scream out but she clamped her lips shut. She followed suit with her other wrist. She couldn't go as deep as the first as she couldn't hold onto the knife and it tumbled from her hands. 

She watched the warm crimson pour out of her wrists, she looked up at the image of Christ, but now it appeared he was looking down at her, instead of skyward as before. She hit her knees in front of Him. 

"With my blood, forgive my daughter and help her through this life!" she begged the Son. 

*** 

Jack looked to Livy's car as he got out of his. He looked around but didn't see her. He saw the nun come out of the residence. 

"Corrine," he called out to her. "Where is Livy?" 

"She is in the Sanctuary," the nun told him. He nodded and made his way to the church. A gnawing began in his stomach as he walked. He quickened his steps. 

Opening the door on the side, he saw her. He stopped momentarily as his brain wouldn't comprehend what his eyes were seeing. Livy was curled up on the floor, appearing as she was sleeping there at the altar. 

"Livy?" he whispered. His feet glued to the entryway of the church. 

Finally his brain clicked and he ran to her, sliding on the floor to scoop the woman in his arms. 

Livy opened her eyes to look at him. 

"Jack," she whispered. 

"What have you done?" he gasped as the tears fell down his face blurring her in his eyes. "Oh my God Livy!" He clamped his hands over her wrists in an attempt to stop the bleeding. The pool of blood she was in now soaked into his pants. 

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. 

"No, NO!" he barked at her. 

Jack heard the gasp from the doorway. 

"Corrine! Call for an ambulance!" He yelled at her, when he saw the nun in the doorway crossing her chest with her fingers. Up, down, left, right. "Now!" The nun jumped at his loud command and ran from the Sanctuary. 

"Look at me!" he commanded softer to Livy. 

"Jack," she whispered. Her voice as weak as she looked. Her face ashen, her skin cold. "I'm sorry, I should have never done this! I have left Nora alone!" 

"No, you are going to be fine!" he tried to convince her. "Stay strong! Stay with me!" 

"I know I shouldn't say this, but...I love you," she told him. He nodded as the tears fell to her face. "But now, I'm going to leave...you must stay with God! He needs you!" Jack shook his head. "You are a priest! God loves you, and needs you!" 

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you when you needed me!" Jack tried to say. 

"No," she whispered her voice growing so soft he had to put his ear to her lips. "Stay with God...make sure Nora finds her way to Him!" 

"Shhhh," he begged as he rocked her. 

"I need a priest," she said softly. 

"I'm here," he whispered back. "Are you sorry for your sins?" He asked her softly. 

His words never rose above that whisper, his hands shook as he pulled his rosary out and the sacramental oils and water he had in his pocket. He begged his prayers, he cried his tears all with a shaking voice. He felt her leave...and was crushed beneath it, dropping his Holy items to take her in his arms and clutched her. He had been at the bedside of many people who died. None crushed his soul the way this woman did. 

Looking to the heavens his scream filled the church and echoed though the town of Averin. To the gates of Heaven itself. 

*** 

"We have to find Livy," Alex said to Gavin. 

"Stay with Nora, they will have your dad out of post op soon, then they will let you see him when he is in ICU," Gavin said to her kissing Nora's head. "I'll find her, I'll go to her apartment." 

"She won't be there," Alex told him. "If anywhere, given what's going on, she will be at Father Jack's." 

Gavin nodded and kissed her. 

"He's going to be ok," Gavin assured her. "I'll be back soon." Alex nodded as he kissed her lips. 

"I love you," he whispered against her lips. 

"I love you more," she said back. 

Gavin pulled up to the church and saw the flashing lights of the ambulance and his stomach dropped. 

"No, no, no!" Gavin hissed as he threw the rental car in park before it was even fully stopped. His door flew open and he jumped from the car and ran towards the front of the church where the priest sat on the steps. 

Gavin could see the blood on his hands and on his face. The holy man was covered in smears of the crimson truth. Staring at the ground, unable to look at anyone or anything. 

"Jack?" Gavin called out as he pushed past a police officer. He saw the morgue bag, zipped and full with a small body. 

Jack looked to him. He recognized him from a picture in Livy's apartment. 

"Gavin," he called out. "I've lost her!" Gavin heard the words and stopped in his tracks. 

"I failed her Gavin!" Jack called out again. "I failed Livy!" 

Gavin hit his knees, and put his face in the grass as he doubled over as the feel of vomit surged upward through his throat, burning as it came up, but his lips held it back. 

Flashes of his own past came back to him, his dying mother. His father. Carla. 

*** 

Chapter 50 

The cold rain pelted the umbrellas with a steady rumble. Alex clutched Gavin's hand with one hand while her other hand held Nora's as she was held by Gavin. Trevor stood and held the umbrella for the four of them. Refusing to stand with his mother and father as they stood on the other side of the casket. The division in the family becoming larger, starting on the next generation. Something Gavin took full stock of and began to wonder how to keep it from further rupturing. 

Rev. Sellers conducted the funeral, Alex's mind not letting her protest as she knew Livy was going to a different church. She was too tired to argue. Too broken to fight. Sellers spoke about sins, and the past, dust to dust. Alex heard little of it. Gavin could feel her breaking by his side. Nora flooded his neck with her warm tears never lifting her face from his warmth. 

On Marylyn's side of the casket she stood with Krista and Brandy and their husbands. A few members of the church she attended were there. Most stayed away as they felt Livy's soul was condemned for her mortal sin. There was no reason to waste time on the fallen from Grace. 

On Alex's side, there were several people she didn't know. A nun stood a short distance away with a man who shunned the umbrella and stood in the rain. She wondered who he was because he looked as lost as she felt. 

Trevor had several of his friends there, supporting him. Alex found she was numb. She had cried for three days now, it took her one day just to get out of bed. Gavin took care of Nora who slept with Alex at night. They would hold each other for comfort. 

Madelyn had made the trip from Chicago, she stood there with Charles, never too far away from Alex. Lena and Mike came too, all hovered around Alex, there if she needed them. But right now she had the ones she had to have. Gavin and Nora. 

Al was distraught, there was some discussion of when and what to tell him. He ended the dancing around the subject when he demanded to see Livy. Gavin broke it as gently as he could as Alex couldn't say anything without bawling. Al shook as the tears leaked down the side of his face, Gavin held his hand while Alex buried her face into his neck and he weakly held her, his body not strong enough to squeeze her. 

He wanted to, but the surgery kept him from attending his daughter's funeral. Al refused to speak to his wife, he didn't know about the angry words spoken to Livy. Gavin telling Trevor there was a time and a place, and this wasn't it. Al needed to rest, and not fight with family, especially his wife. 

Alex looked to her mother whose face held a look she had never seen on the woman. Rev. Sellers finished his eulogy and walked to Marylyn and those standing with her. He shook their hands and offered some words of comfort before he walked away. 

The other mourners began to filter away, a few at a time. Gavin looked to Alex and saw the blank look of loss. He knew it well, it had coated his face. First his mother and father, then Carla who sucked the life from him for years. He shook the feelings that were creeping in on him, emotions he had kept at bay. He couldn't weaken now, not with Alex and Nora in desperate need of him. 

"Are you ready?" He asked her softly. She could only nod. He held her with one arm while the other held Nora, her head on his shoulder. His arm was numb now, from holding her up the entire time. It burned for the longest of time but she refused to be put down. 

He turned Alex and Trevor followed behind them. 

"Nora baby," Marylyn's voice called out stopping Gavin. He turned around but felt Alex's hand tighten on his. He squeezed back, assuring her it was going to be ok. 

Nora lifted her head and slowly turned her face to her grandmother. Her eyes were red from tears but now they lit up with anger...and hatred. Something no small child should ever know. 

"Baby," Marylyn began as she walked towards them. 

"Shut up!" Nora suddenly barked causing even Gavin to jump. "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" 

Alex and Trevor threw their arms around Gavin and Nora as the girl screamed at her grandmother. The child watched as her aunts came to comfort their mother. 

"All of you did this to her!" Nora said, her small body shaking so hard that Gavin had to drop Alex's hand to hold her. "I hate...hate...hate you!" With that the girl wailed into Gavin's neck. 

"Take me away Uncle Gavin!" Nora begged. "Please!" Gavin did as requested pulling Alex with him. He made his way to where Madelyn waited with her car. Charles holding the door to the limo open. Madelyn looking on the distraught family as she burrowed her anger into Marylyn as Gavin and Alex walked with the small child towards her. 

"I hope you are happy now," Trevor said standing in the rain looking at them. "You got what you wanted. You and your church!" 

"Trevor!" Krista barked at him. "How dare you talk to your Grandmother that way?" 

"It's easy," Trevor said with a soft huff of a laugh that held absolutely no humor. "I learned from all of you over these past months. I learned hatred...I learned venom. I learned how to rip people apart with my words. I learned how to blame others for my wrongs! I learned everything I need to know about hatred...from all of you!" 

"Where are you going?" Trevor's father called out to him as he turned to follow Alex and Gavin. 

"I'm going where I'm needed, where love stands alone," he said over his shoulder at his father. "With Nora. You have all you need. You have each other and your despicable lives and your so called church!" 

"Trevor!" His dad barked. "Come back here!" 

"Or what?" Trevor turned his face hardening with anger. His body beginning to shake with his welling fury. "Going to disown me as well?" Trevor laughed as he threw up his in a vehement shrug. 

"Going to push me to suicide as you did Livy? Please do...I'm so ashamed right now that it might be better than to stand around and call you my family!" 

"What?" His father gasped. 

"I'm ashamed for my silence," the teen cried, the tears falling as the friends that came out to support him came to his side and put their hands in his. "I'm complicit in her death...and I refuse to be silent any longer! So please, disown me the way you did Livy...it's the greatest thing you could do for me! I refuse to be a part of a family that is so horrid that it blames someone to their death. Not just someone...but family!" 

He turned with his friends leaving his parents standing there dumbfounded, crushed by his pain. Stunned by his stinging words. Alex turned at the car as Madelyn held her hand. Gavin secured Nora in the back in her booster seat. Alex turned away from her mother and sisters as they looked to her and got into their cars. She looked back to where Livy was being put to rest. She saw a single solitary man there. His hand on the casket. 

"I'll be right back," Alex said as she dropped Madelyn's hand. Gavin nodded. 

"Want me to go with you?" he asked. 

"No, stay with Nora," she said walking back. She took Trevor into her arms as she reached him and his friends. She kissed his head as he hugged her and made for his friend's car. 

She quietly came up behind him. He was blessing the casket, whispering his prayers over her. His hands visibly shaking as he did. Alex watched him, she knew it was Father Jack even without being introduced. She let him finish his nearly solitary duty. She watched his body weaken with every word, the only thing keeping him upright was his duty. His duty to God, and Livy. 

"Father?" Alex whispered softly. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 36



"I'm sorry Alex," he said not turning to her. "When she needed me the most...I wasn't there." 

"No, you don't have any reason to apologize," Alex said taking his hand to stand next to him. 

"Your mother wouldn't let me officiate the funeral," he explained without her asking. 

"I figured," Alex nodded. 

They stood there in the rain for a few moments. 

"Is she in Hell Father?" Alex asked finally. 

"No," he said firmly. 

"But...," 

"NO!" He said cutting her off. "Alex, she wasn't...gone when I got there. She was repentant. I gave her Last Rights, as a Catholic she deserved them. She was truly sorry for what she had done...so I gave her absolution!" 

"Can you do that?" Alex asked him, her heart lifting that he did. 

"I'm her priest," Jack told her. "She was truly sorry...so yes I can." 

"Suicide?" Alex asked. 

"Is like any other sin," Jack said firmly. "Once you are sorry for it and ask for the Lord's forgiveness, it's given. He gives absolution I just say the words." 

"How do you know for sure?" Alex doubted. 

"Because my heart tells me so," Jack said turning to her. Alex took the priest in her arms. 

"Your sister was a spectacular woman," Jack whispered to her. "The world got a little darker today." 

"I agree," Alex whispered in his arms. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 37



This is the beginning of the third book. Again, this will veer from the "erotica" to just writing and going with the flow of what feels right. This next chapter has no sex in it, it's not marked but it doesn't. I guess the best description I can give concerning the sex from here on out will be, it's the salt and pepper of the meal. There and noticeable but only as an improvement. 

Ok, enough with the hate mail! LOL I knew the last chapter would evoke some rebukes. I did so carefully and after much deliberation. Know that Livy's death was well planned out and served a purpose. I didn't write it to just see if I could make you angry or cry. After I am done with this novel, you will understand. Then if you still feel the same way, then the hate mail can start again. Of all the deaths that I have included in my novels, Livy's was the one that made me rethink if it was necessary. I believe it was. 

CJT 

Chapter 51 

Alex was slowly and carefully going through the few possessions Livy had in her apartment. It looked like a first time home should look. It was sparsely furnished, there was little in the way of creature comforts, curtains were almost non-existent leaving only the blinds that came with the semi-furnished apartment. 

Most of the furniture was old and dirty but it had the basic needs. A sofa, a chair, and a small dining room set. Her bed was the bottom half of Nora's bunk beds from the old house, the top portion was in Nora's room. Most of the possessions Livy had were Nora's, showing that Livy's priority was her daughter. Going so far as to having only Nora's room fully furnished with all that a little girl would need. 

Brightly colored curtains in this room, a vanity to play dress up. A full size dresser to put her clothes and a small table for tea time. Posters of cats and butterflies decorated the walls, along with posters from both the Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium, a trip that Gavin took her on and spoiled her rotten. 

Gavin was with Nora in her room helping her pack. He kissed her head and stood up when the doorbell rang. As he made his way out, he passed Livy's room and looked in and found Alex just standing there, a picture of her and Livy in her hands. The tears running down her face told of the pain and loss she was feeling. He hadn't felt this helpless since Carla. A feeling he promised himself he would never feel again. But here he was, trying to deal with something impossible to deal with. 

Gavin opened the door and looked out at a man who did a double take of him. 

"Can I help you?" Gavin asked. 

"Yes, you must be Gavin," the man said extending his hand. "My name is Don, I'm Nora's dad." 

Gavin looked at his hand for a second before taking it and shaking it apprehensively. 

"What can I do for you?" Gavin asked not moving from the doorway. 

"I'm here for Nora," Don told him bluntly. Gavin lifted his eyebrows. "I'm here to take her home." 

Gavin dropped his head back and looked to the ceiling of the apartment, his anger bubbling suddenly like a pot of chili. He figured something like this was going to happen, he also knew how Alex would respond. He was hoping it wouldn't but here it was, unfolding. 

"Yeah, Don, probably not a good idea," Gavin warned him. 

"Look, I've been patient and understanding," Don said to him. "I know Alex is partial to Nora and I wanted them together so they could comfort each other." Gavin saw Don start laying the groundwork for his excuse of not attending Livy's funeral. With the one statement Gavin was in full hate mode. 

Gavin looked at him blankly, he was trying his best to control his temper which was suddenly crawling out of the box he so carefully kept closed. So carefully kept it from exploding. His temper was something that always destroyed when it was out. Something he took great strides in trying to keep from happening. 

Perhaps it was all the emotion over the past few days. Perhaps it was the fact he hadn't slept since the night before Al had his heart attack nearly a week ago. Instead of sleep he spent the nights comforting either Alex or Nora. It seemed when one was asleep, the other was in a fit of tears. He would take turns comforting the one in tears. He was only sleeping in fifteen minute naps. 

The emotion. The fatigue. The worry. All combined made his temper so much easier to bring out. So much more volatile. So much more in control of him. Something that took years to learn how to control. Something that he feared would be released in this tumultuous time. 

"Don," Gavin strained through gritted teeth. He blew out a laugh, but it was humorless as he sorted through the words he wanted to use. Discarding most because they were either obscenities or threats. Finally, he just let it out, the first thing that locked into his head. 

"There is no way in hell I'm letting you take Nora, not in this lifetime, not in this universe, not a chance!" Gavin said forcefully. 

Don stared at him blankly, shocked at what was just said. 

"I'm her father," Don pointed out, his own temper rising. 

"A daughter you gave up for a fucking house!" Gavin reminded, his temper making the words harsher, harder. His face turning to stone, his eyes sharpening. 

"I'm all she has left," Don said sharply. 

"Bullshit," Gavin growled. "That girl stays with Alex...she stays with us!" 

"You can't do that!" Don protested. 

"Fucking try me bitch!" Gavin said stepping out onto the stoop forcing Don to take a step back. The more Don stood there, the more Gavin's temper won out. It had been years since he was physical with another person. And it wasn't since Carla's disappearing into drug houses that he beat a man, but now his temper was gaining the upper hand and it seems Gavin was going down that road. 

"You want her, come and get her!" Gavin snarled, daring Don to try. 

Gavin was done, he was no longer in control. His temper had won out and he was powerless to stop the animal now that it was out of the box. If Don tried any manner of ill-fated attempt to take Nora by force he would be met with a trip to the hospital. Gavin was powerless to stop the temper any more than he could control the wolf. 

Don looked at the man advancing on him and feared for his safety. The man had transformed before his very eyes. What started off as a cordial conversation was now in the midst of veil threats and possible actual harm. 

"My lawyer will be in touch!" Don warned as he turned and high tailed it back to his car. 

Gavin stopped his advance on the scurrying rodent of a father and let him escape. Using every coping technique he could come up with. Using every ounce of available energy to reign himself in. Using all he had, to keep Alex and Nora from seeing the worst of him. 

When he turned he saw Alex standing in the doorway, her expression a mixture of fear and confusion forcing him to drop his head. He stood there in the yard as Don barked his tires in leaving. Gavin closed his eyes and tried putting the monster back in the box. Hoping Alex was so horrified she wouldn't demand he explain the temper until he could rationally explain it. 

Once Gavin had the temper in the box, and even though the lid wasn't closed, meaning any argument would cause a sudden explosion of fury that would appall him and possibly frighten her, he walked up to her and stood in front of her, his anger ebbing. His embarrassment rising. The look of fear on Alex was crushing. Was it fear of the animal or fear of what Don wanted? 

"Can he take her?" Alex asked carefully gaging the man in front of her. 

She had never seen this out of Gavin. He was always so in control. So calm and reserved. She just watched the man she had fallen in love with intimidate another human being. Actually took menacing steps towards a man with the intention to harm, something every doctor swears an oath to never do. Not since Royce, on the night of her awakening to the world of BDSM at her first party, had she seen this. It was almost forgotten in the placid loving months of their relationship. 

When she heard Don's voice her first instinct was to run to Nora and sneak away from the apartment, then she heard Gavin tell Don he wasn't about to let him take Nora. He did what she wanted. Again, he knew what she wanted without being said. She realized this particular decision wasn't so hard to figure out, but still it didn't have to be verbalized. With so many of her past boyfriends, even the simplest of decisions would have been needed to be said aloud. 

"I don't know," Gavin frowned. "He is the biological father...I have a call into Judith...you need to brace yourself." 

"Gavin," Alex said firmly. "You know there is no way I let that man have Nora! There is no way Livy would have wanted that!" 

"I'm not sure we can keep her!" Gavin warned. "I mean, the biological father has custody rights if the mother..." He didn't finish. Alex turned and left him in the doorway. Gavin inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

His phone ringing brought him from his anger. He looked and saw Madelyn's number. 

"Hey baby," she said motherly. 

"Hey Maddy," he said sitting down on the stoop. 

"I'm just checking in with you to see if you need anything," Madelyn told him. 

"Yes, I do," Gavin blew out a breath. "I need a lawyer, and I don't mean just any lawyer...I need an O.J. Simpson type team of lawyers that can do the impossible!" 

"Oh my God, what is going on?" Madelyn gasped. 

"Don is asking to take custody of Nora," Gavin said softly. "There is no fucking way I can let that happen...Alex would be crushed!" 

"Ok, baby," Madelyn told him. "I'll call my lawyer, he will know who is the best person to handle this will be." 

"I've got a call in Judith, but she hasn't called me back yet. She is on vacation somewhere," he told her. 

"I'm on it," Madelyn assured him. "There is one other thing...I hate to even bring it up." 

"What?" Gavin asked her rubbing his face with his hand. 

"The wedding?" Madelyn asked carefully. 

"The wedding," Gavin sighed. "Yeah, look, Al has to be a part of it and it will be at least six months before he is even physically able to do that. He also may need another surgery so it may be even longer. It could take up to a year to fully recover. And I don't think Alex's head is in the right spot right now." 

"I know you have put a lot of effort and a shit load of money...," Gavin continued. 

"Don't worry about the money, it's nothing compared to yours and Alex's happiness," Madelyn said firmly. "I will put everything on hold, for the time being." 

"Thanks, Maddy," Gavin said softly. 

"Just one little thing baby," Madelyn began carefully. She knew Gavin would have at least thought about it, but she wanted to make sure. "Are you sure Nora going back to Don is such a bad thing?" 

Gavin sat there for a few moments as he thought about that. 

"I know it would be a bad thing for Alex," Gavin sighed. 

"Are you ready for a child in your home?" Madelyn asked. "Children are such a big responsibility, they are life changers! The life you have envisioned with Alex will change drastically when you add Nora to the mix." Madelyn warned carefully, her love pouring out letting Gavin know this was just motherly advice. The silence on the phone was deafening. Even Madelyn was unsure what to expect from Gavin. 

"I love Alex," Gavin said firmly. "This is all about her, if she has to have Nora, and she does, she is getting Nora. She will guide me the rest of the way with a child, as I don't have the first damn clue on kids! I trust her. While I'm sure I don't know what to expect, Alex will guide me and keep me from fucking this up." 

"It makes my heart sing to hear you say that," Madelyn said, choking up on the phone. "Then Nora stays...You and Alex will never lose her...I will call in every favor...move every mountain and leave no stone unturned until Nora is safely within your new family...son." 

"Thanks...mom," Gavin choked out. 

*** 

Two hours later Don returned, this time he had the police with him and his lawyer. 

"Mr. Steward?" one of the officers asked when he opened the door. 

"Dr. Steward," Gavin corrected. 

"Sorry," the officer nodded. "May we come in?" 

"No," Gavin said bluntly. 

"Sorry?" 

"Look Mr. Steward," the lawyer began in. "We have legal grounds to enter the home and take the girl, but we are hoping to avoid any more trauma on the child as I'm sure you and Miss Lasko are as well." 

Gavin watched as another car pulled up, this one an unmarked police cruiser and Gavin began to wonder just how many police officers they planned on bringing here. Right now he was thinking about the time he was arrested in New York with Pavy. It took five to fully wrestle him to the ground that day. Granted he was much younger then. He smiled inwardly, he needed Pavy now. His friend would be all for fighting with the police again. 

"First off," Gavin began patiently. Trying to control his temper, the humorous thoughts of his last arrest helping him keep it in check, but he knew that was only temporary. "It's Dr. Steward, call me pretentious but after so many years of med school and my successful practice I kind of like the respect being shown." Don rolled his eyes. 

The detective from the unmarked cruiser walked up and nodded to Gavin and pulled the two uniformed officers away. While that was happening another car pulled up. This wasn't a squad but it was definitely a government vehicle. 

A woman hopped out and made her way up. 

"Dr. Steward?" she called out once she was close enough. Gavin nodded at her. "Hello Detective Matthers." She smiled at the plain clothes officer as she walked up quickly. 

"Mr. Codeen?" she asked looking at Don and his lawyer. 

"I'm Don Codeen," Don said looking her over. 

"Good afternoon," she smiled pleasantly. "My name is Misty Dasenbach, I'm with child protective services." She handed him her card and one to the lawyer standing next to him. 

"As you know, before her death, Ms. Olivia Lasko filed formal charges of possible child endangerment with our office concerning you and your fiancé," she told him causing Don to hang his head. 

"That was Mr. Codeen's former fiancé, not him, and that is no longer a problem as she is gone," the lawyer said for Don. 

"Perhaps," Misty nodded. "But that is still an open complaint, which must be investigated by my office. Until that time, Nora Codeen cannot be placed in custody of her father until he is deemed safe." 

"I'm her father! Of course I am safe!" Don barked. 

"Did you or did you not have a woman in your home that is responsible for harming your daughter?" Misty asked harshly. 

"Allegedly," the lawyer tossed out. 

"Allegedly," Misty adjusted. "In any case, until my office clears Mr. Codeen, he is considered a possible threat." 

"This is preposterous!" the lawyer barked. 

Gavin's phone rang and he looked at it, it was Madelyn so he answered. 

"Hey," he said watching the three people in front of him argue about the law and child endangerment. "We have a monumental problem here." 

"I'm guessing the father and his slimy lawyer are there?" Madelyn said with a carefree laugh. 

"Along with three police officers and one lady from the Child Protection Services," Gavin told her as he thought the laughter was out of place. 

"Don't worry," Madelyn assured him. "I called the Governor of Pennsylvania, he contacted the State Director of Protection Services who in turned called Ms. Dasenbach, who is supposed to make sure that Nora stays where she is. I also have a call into the Pennsylvania State Attorney General who will push for a rush hearing for temporary custody...I figure Monday or Tuesday." 

"Are you shitting me?" Gavin now laughed. 

"You know me," Madelyn said. "I don't fuck around...especially when it concerns my family and Alex and Nora are my family!" 

The detective came up and Gavin looked to him. 

"Sorry to have bothered you Dr. Steward," the detective said. "This is a subpoena for you to appear in court on Monday for an emergency hearing on custody." He handed a copy to Gavin. 

Turning to Don he handed him another copy. 

"Mr. Codeen, this is your summons," the detective said. "Now, given the circumstances, I'm going to have to ask you to leave Dr. Steward, Miss Lasko and the child alone. The restraining order is still in effect until you appear in court and the judge removes it." 

Gavin smiled as he heard Madelyn snicker in his ear. The detective nodded his goodbye and followed Don and his lawyer towards the car. The uniformed officers had already started to get into their cruiser. 

"How is she doing?" Misty asked. 

"As well as you can expect, I guess," Gavin said taking her card. 

"This is only a temporary fix," Misty warned. "Without proof that he contributed to the injuries, and there is none, by law, he should be first in line to take custody." 

Gavin nodded that he understood. 

Late that evening, Alex and Gavin lay in bed, Nora lay in between them. Alex gently stroked the child's hair as she looked at her. 

"She looks so angelic," Alex marveled. 

"She does," Gavin agreed. He was looking at Alex, marveling over her gentle motherly attention. The tear fell down her nose, hanging for a moment before dropping off. 

"What happens if they take her?" Alex whispered. 

"I don't know," Gavin admitted. "We fight." 

"I can't allow Don to have her," Alex said firmly. "Not after what he did! Livy would never allow it!" 

"I know," Gavin told her softly. "One step at a time." 

"I don't have that luxury," Alex told him. "I have to leap." 

"We have to leap," Gavin corrected. "Side by side, together." 

"Gavin," Alex shook her head. "If I have to kidnap her...I will." 

"I know," Gavin told her. "We will do what we have to." 

"I can't ask you to do that," Alex told him looking at him. "To give up your practice...to leave everything...I can't!" 

"You don't have to," Gavin smiled. "We may not have a piece of paper telling us we are married, but I have felt that way for some time. I have learned you are married when your heart tells you, not when the state tells you with some worthless piece of paper." 

"Being married means, everything together," Gavin whispered. 

Monday morning they sat in the courtroom and fidgeted. Madelyn had come back from Chicago to help. She was now watching Nora at the apartment. Gavin and Alex sat at one table, while Don and his lawyer sat at the other. 

A burst of activity had Gavin and Alex looking over their shoulder as Judith whisked in, her deep sunburn telling them she had been enjoyed her vacation and it was someplace sunny. She rolled her eyes apologetically at them as she rushed down to them tossing her briefcase on the table and exhaling deeply. 

"I'm so sorry," she blurted. "Three different plane changes, one flight flat out canceled and then the drive from Pittsburg where it seemed that every Sunday driver in the state decided to be in front of me!" 

She sat down with a tired huff and opened her briefcase. 

"Look, what are our chances here?" Alex asked immediately. 

"This will be short and sweet," Judith smiled with a wink. Her body and facial language exuding confidence. Alex looked to Gavin who shrugged, he was a bit surprised at the demeanor as well. 

The judge came in and Alex recognized him immediately. It was the same judge that presided over Livy's divorce. 

"Be seated," he said sitting down barely acknowledging the courtroom. Everybody sat and Alex took hold of Gavin's hand and he kissed it. 

"Good morning," the judge called out. "Let's get some formalities out of the way." The judge said formally. "I have an affidavit that says Mr. Codeen and his former fiancé no longer live together so the Child Protection warrant is negated." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 37



With that opening salvo, Alex's heart sank! That was what she was counting on to keep Nora in her custody! The longer that drug out the more time she had to come up with a plan to go with after that failed. 

"Thank you, Your Honor," Don's lawyer said aloud. 

"Ms. Thering?" the judge asked looking to Judith who smiled. 

"Your Honor, I have here a copy of Ms. Olivia Lasko's Last Will and Testament," she said holding it up and the bailiff came over and took it from her. 

"I have highlighted the section that is relevant, your honor," Judith pointed out. 

The judge dropped his glasses on his nose and read it to himself first. He flipped through to make sure all the appropriate legal marking were in place making it an official document. 

"Your Honor, due to the tragic death of Ms. Olivia Lasko an official reading of the Will has not be made, but as you can see, it is very specific," Judith told him. 

"Agreed," the judge nodded. 

"For the record, I will read the pertinent portion of Ms. Lasko's Will," the judge said sitting forward. "If under any circumstances that I, Olivia Lasko, should become incapacitated or in any way unable to perform my duties as sole custodial parent, or upon my death and before Nora Codeen's eighteenth birthday, she will be placed in the custody of my sister, Alexandria Lasko until her eighteenth birthday or until a court files her competent as an adult." 

The judge looked up and placed the Will down on his desk. 

"Your Honor," Don's lawyer interjected. "Ms. Lasko's death supersedes the Will as the child has a living parent who has rights as a living parent." 

Judith began to open her mouth but she was cut off by the judge's hand. 

"I remember this divorce pretty clearly," the judge said. "I warned your client to be cautious of giving up total rights to his daughter. I remember very clearly giving him the option to talk to his legal team to make an informed decision. He chose. He gave full rights to the child to his ex-wife in exchange for the marital house." The judge shook his head slightly at his opinion of it. 

"Now most often that just pertains to schooling, medical decisions and the like...unfortunately, in this case, we have a tragedy. But as sole custodial parent, it is Ms. Olivia Lasko that has final decision concerning her daughter. She has spoken, loud and clear." 

"Mr. Codeen do you remember my warning that day?" the judge asked him. "If not, let me refresh your memory. I said 'I hope you don't regret this decision later'. It appears that has come to pass." 

The judge began signing papers in front of him with a deep sigh and a shake of his head. 

"If you want custody of the child Mr. Codeen, you will have to win custody through the courts," the judge told him. "As of right now, Ms. Olivia Lasko's Will holds. Nora Codeen will be placed into the custody of Alexandria Lasko." The judge looked up and over the rims of his glasses. 

"Ms. Lasko?" Alex stood up still holding Gavin's hand. "Will you accept custody of Nora Codeen as designated in the Will of you late sister?" 

"I w..." Alex had to stop and clear her throat as it was dry and stuck. "Excuse me your honor." Alex asked. He nodded that he understood. 

"I will gladly take custody of Nora," she said clearly now. 

"Then this court and the state of Pennsylvania fulfills, this portion of the Will of Olivia Lasko and places her in your custody," the judge said formally. "You have my deepest condolences on your loss Ms. Lasko, but if your sister thought so highly of you to place her most precious possession in your charge I have great faith she will be in good hands!" 

The judge tapped his gavel and just like that, the weight of losing Nora was lifted off the two of them. Alex's tears were instant. The weight of the one victory was exhausting. The emotion swept out of her and she was instantly tired. Gavin stroked her cheek and nodded that he understood the tears. 

*** 

Chapter 52 

Alex nodded at Gavin when he pointed towards the doctors. Gavin wanted an update, so Alex let him go and she walked towards the ICU room where her father was. Nora held her hand tightly as she looked around. 

Alex knelt down and took Nora's face in her hands. 

"Ok, baby," she whispered to her. "Are you sure you want to see him?" 

"I want to see Grandpa," Nora said firmly. 

"Ok, just remember, all the tubes and wires are helping him," Alex reassured her. "It may look scary but they are good things." Nora nodded that she understood. 

This was Alex's first big decision with Nora. Does she run the risk of scaring the little girl with all things she won't understand with her grandfather? Will all the monitors and tubes bring fear and misunderstanding? 

She looked at the small girl and saw a determination in her eyes that she recognized easily. It looked like her. Livy always made comments that Nora was more like Alex than her. That she had the same attitude, the same fearlessness...the same short temper. 

There were some phone calls where Livy would do nothing but joke that Nora's parents must have been switched at birth and Nora actually belonged to Alex because they were so much alike. Alex ran her hands down the side of Nora's face and braved her best smile. Now Alex just had to make sure she could handle it! 

The first visit back with her father had left her crying the entire time. He looked so weak! Like it wasn't even him anymore. The mask he wore for his oxygen didn't allow him to speak strongly. His grip, hardened over the years of working in his shop with wood, clay and mortar now could barely grasp her hands. 

Gavin had assured her that everything they had on him was normal and his strength would return. The real Al would return, but looking at him it was hard to believe. He seemed to be moments for death's door. 

Alex slowly pushed open the door to his room and peered in, Al was near the window, affording him the opportunity to look out into the world. He had his head turned that way and he was alone. 

*** 

"Good morning Gavin," Al's doctor smiled handing him the charts. Gavin looked them over and frowned. 

"Yeah," the doctor agreed. "I had that same opinion when I saw them." 

"Stan I don't know," Gavin shook his head. Gavin had spent hours with Al's doctors, going over the tests and the procedures. They became well acquainted with one another in a short period of time. "We should have seen some sort of improvement by now!" 

"I agree Gavin," Stan shrugged. "It takes time, you know that." 

"Are you going to run any more tests?" Gavin asked him. 

"I'll be quite honest with you," Stan frowned. "In his condition, I'm afraid to do anything too invasive!" 

"Yeah," Gavin nodded. "Christ!" 

"I have a question for you," Stan began, looking around. 

"Shoot," 

"I know he is married and he has kids," Stan began slowly. "But you and Alex are the only ones I ever see here." 

"Al and Marylyn are having marital problems," Gavin admitted. 

"That is the last thing he needs right now," Stan pointed out. Gavin nodded that he agreed. 

"I'll talk to Marylyn," Gavin suggested. "I don't know how well I will be received...but I'll try." 

"What about Alex?" Stan suggested hoping that the daughter would have more sway. 

"Like oil and water," Gavin shook his head. "More like gas and a match...they have had problems since childhood! Check your security tapes, they will have a nice shot of Alex slapping her mother so hard I thought we were going to have to admit her too!" 

"You're kidding!" Stan gasped. 

"It's been a very dysfunctional relationship," Gavin told him. "I'm not sure it can be repaired." Gavin shrugged. "I'll take a run at Marylyn, see where her head is." 

"Thanks Gavin," Stan smiled. "I get the feeling Al isn't sure if he wants to live or not. With his daughter's suicide...and if he is having marital problems...he may just decide it's not worth sticking around for." 

"You know as well as I do," Stan said walking away. "As doctors we can only fix the body, the will to live is beyond our domain." 

Gavin nodded as he went through the charts again, hoping to find something they may have missed and would explain why Al's vitals weren't progressing. He was hoping it wasn't because he had lost the will to live. 

*** 

"Hey Dad," Alex smiled putting on her most brave face. "I've brought someone special to see you!" She put Nora on the edge of the bed. 

"Hi Grandpa!" Nora said with a bright smile. Alex marveled, Nora hadn't smiled that big in days. Alex had told her she needed to be happy so that Grandpa would be happy. 

"There's my girl," Al said taking his mask off. 

"Dad," Alex warned. "You need to leave that on." 

"I need to talk to my girl," Al retorted. "Can't talk to her through that dumb thing!" 

Nora took hold of the mask and put it back on him. 

"I'll do all the talking," Nora told him firmly. 

Alex nearly laughed. Nora did most of the talking anyway, so that didn't need to be said. But it was the tone she used that had her laughing inside. It was more adult than child. 

"I love you Grandpa," Nora told him kissing his cheek. "I want you to get better so you can visit me in Chicago!" 

Al teared up and nodded. 

"Alex is going to be getting married and you and I have to walk with her," Nora reminded. "So, don't take too long getting better! I want to wear my pretty dress." 

Gavin came in and saw the girls talking to Al, he was laughing gently which made Gavin feel better. Alex and Nora talking about how Charles had gotten ice cream all over the limo when he stopped hard coming back from the ice cream parlor. Queen Madelyn was furious as she believed he did it on purpose. 

Al joked with both girls, talking about how the nurses were picking on him. Saying he must have had the meanest nurses in the world. Nora disagreed, she said the school nurse was much worse and they called her Mean Joe Green. Nora explained she didn't understand why they called her that when her name was Josephina Greenway. 

"That's because," Al explained through the mask. "Back long before you were born, there was the meanest linebacker to ever play the game and he played for the Steelers. His name was Mean Joe Green! He would hit guys so hard they had to be carried off the field!" 

This story made her eyes widen and that made them all laugh. Gavin pulled up a You Tube video with the Hall of Fame linebacker and Nora laughed because Mrs. Greenway didn't have a beard. 

*** 

The girls were headed for drinks while the nurse came in to give Al his medicines. Gavin waited until she was done before coming to the bed and sitting down. 

"How do you feel?" Gavin asked him. 

"Good," Al lied. 

"Really?" Gavin asked, his eyebrows raising. "Cause these charts tell a different story." Gavin said tapping the clipboard in his hands. "Did you forget who you are talking to?" Al closed his eyes. 

"Look Al," Gavin said setting the charts down on the table. "I don't know you very well and all that, but I know Alex. I love your daughter more than anything or anyone ever before. She has lost enough, we all have. It's not your time." 

Al looked to him and closed his eyes forcing tears out. 

"I failed Livy...I failed them both," Al admitted to him. "I should have ended the bullshit long before Marylyn forced her lies on the kids. I should have ended this when it first started, maybe I would still have my family!" 

"What are you talking about?" Gavin asked him. 

"Alex was nothing more than what Nora is now," Al told him. "That's when Rev. Sellers took over the church." Gavin nodded. 

"It wasn't long before Marylyn started to change," Al continued. "Sellers was on and on about women in the church and how this and that was needed to change. I stopped going, his sermons were more about what his personal belief was about the wrongs of society and less about God." 

"I watched my wife begin her molding of our daughters into what Sellers thought women should be," Al continued. "He thought women should be less of women and more robots. Children should be seen and not heard. Girls should have to dress a certain way, dating strictly forbidden. No sports at all! No school dances. That all men must come from inside the church!" 

"Marylyn forced all of this on the girls," Al closed his eyes. "All obeyed but one." Gavin smiled, no need to name names. 

"Alex was treated so horribly! And I did nothing to fix it," Al admitted. "We never spanked our kids before, I was working two jobs then...at school all day and then drive an hour to the junior college to teach night classes there." 

"I didn't know that Marylyn had gone to whipping Alex with a belt for disobedience, at Sellers suggestion," Al began to cry. "Alex never said a word...she just took her beatings! Nobody said a word! She never changed, she still did what she wanted." 

"Do you know what the biggest reason was for her beatings?" Al asked him. "Her art!" Al softly punched the bed beneath his fist. Gavin picked it up and held it. 

"One particular picture she drew was the beginning of the end for Alex and the rest of the family. Alex had drawn a picture of Andromeda and the Sea Monster," Al explained he looked to Gavin who shrugged indicating he didn't know what he was referencing. Al backtracked a bit. 

"We spent a week in New York City...we had gone to Metropolitan Museum of Art...I couldn't get Alex out of there! She just wanted to walk around and see the paintings...the sculptures!" Al's words were now in broken sentences, partly because of the tears, partly because it was difficult to breathe. 

"She was a freshman then, so, while the rest of us saw the sights, she spent most of the time at the Met," Al shrugged showing it wasn't surprising to him. "A proctor came to me one afternoon as I went to collect her, told me she had spent all day with that sculpture, drawing and redrawing it. Trying to get it perfect!" 

"The head of the museum even let her touch it, to get the curves right," Al said proudly. "There were several proctors who felt her drawings were better than some of the Masters they were guarding!" Al smiled. "I was so proud, here were people surrounded by the best art in the world, telling me my daughter was very good...not just very good...but great!" 

"I saw the drawing and I was floored!" Al continued after getting his breath back. Gavin waited patiently. 

"It was by far the greatest thing I had ever seen!" Al told him. "And I have seen it all! Bellini, da Vinci, Tintoretto...Alex could recreate them all! She did that summer! In two weeks she had copied them from the walls. Filled her sketchbook recreating the masterpieces...from Monet to Renoir." 

"But it was the marble sculpture of Domenico Guidi that finally separated her mother and her. That sculpture was magnificent! It was perfect and Alex felt so as well, she drew to it like a moth to a flame!" 

"Over and over she had drawn it and redrawn it, she felt she never got it right, when it wasn't she ripped it from her book and tossed it away. The proctors began begging her to not wad them up, they wanted them!" 

"Alex and her temper!" Al smiled. "She was still there on the floor in front of it drawing it. The next proctor standing nearby to keep her from wadding it up!" 

"Why would Marylyn care about Andromeda?" Gavin asked when Al stopped talking. 

"She was nude on top," Al explained. "She was finishing up, the Met was closed, and had been for nearly half an hour, but it was our last night! The proctors let her alone." 

"Finally," Al nodded. "She had done what she wanted. She had it perfect! Every nuance, every darkened shade of the marble. Every beam of light from the overhead glass skylight! I looked from her drawing, to the sculpture back to the drawing. I couldn't tell the difference! The only thing different was the time of day, it was night out but the skylight in the picture showed the sun up!" 

"I was floored!" Al smiled. "Alex was so proud! She finally had it right in her mind! The director of the Museum came over and looked it over and shook his head. He handed Alex an envelope...it was a letter of reference! A fucking letter of reference from the Director of the Metropolitan Museum of Art! He told her when she applied for colleges, mention him." 

"The girl was on cloud nine hundred and nine!" Al bragged. "Couldn't sand that smile off her face!" 

"A little over a month after we got home," Al frowned. "Alex changed. She wasn't happy anymore, she wasn't painting anymore...I asked her what was wrong she said she was burnt out!" 

"In school she did her art, but it had lost something, I couldn't figure it out," Al told him. "And she never did her art at home, I could never explain it! Until Livy moved back in. Marylyn was furious that she was giving up on her marriage...she was brutal, only this time I was around to see it first hand...so she had to back off!" 

"I was out with Livy looking at apartments," Al said slowly. "It was Livy who told me why Alex never did her art at home anymore. It seems a week after we got home from New York, Marylyn found Alex's sketchpad and confronted her on the picture she had drawn...the half nude drawing of Andromeda. Marylyn called it pornography! Alex said it was art, they didn't put pornography in one of the greatest art museums in the world!" Al began to sob. 

"Marylyn ripped up the picture in front of Alex and told her it was pornography, punishable by God and she would not have it in her house!" Al gasped his voice breaking with his emotions. 

Gavin dropped his head. Going over and talking to Marylyn was sounding like a bad idea, now with this story he was getting more and more pissed and he was unsure if he could control it if he got there. 

"Can you guess what Alex did?" Al smiled ruefully, the tears of shame and anger still falling. "She drew it again...from memory! Each and every time she drew it, Marylyn would tear it up and whip Alex. Each and every night, Alex drew it again." 

"Livy said it went on for a whole month," Al choked out. "Then one night, Alex stopped doing her art at home." 

"The summer after her high school graduation, Alex was gone, accepted into the Chicago Art Institute, a place she applied to all on her own," Al told him. 

"She didn't tell anyone, used her letter of reference and was accepted immediately. Full scholarship, all because, not only the letter, but the President of the College knew the Director of the Met. The Director told of Alex's passion, and that he thought so highly of her that he had one of her drawings up in his office! This man is surrounded by the greatest art the world has ever known, and he had my daughter, my daughter's drawing in his office!" 

"She was packed up and ready the following week and I drove her to Chicago and lost her," Al finished. "She rarely came home, claiming to be working on holidays, taking classes in the summer...she cut us out! I didn't know why until Marylyn started in on Livy." 

Gavin sat there and looked to Al. He could see the guilt building. 

"Do you love Alex?" Gavin asked. 

"Of course I do!" Al barked. 

"Do you love Nora?" Al didn't answer this question he just stared hard at him. "Do you want to make it up to Alex?" 

"Every fucking day!" Al gasped. 

"Then get better," Gavin said standing up. "Walk her down the aisle like she wants...if you don't...she will never be the same!" 

"I don't understand," Al said to him. 

"These charts tell me you have stopped trying to live, you've given up," Gavin told him. 

"I hav...," 

"Don't fucking lie to me!" Gavin cut him off. "Don't forget who you are talking to!" With that Gavin left Al alone. 

*** 

Alex sat in the back of the car with Nora. Alex and Nora kept Al's mood up. He even began joking that the mean nurses were back when they came to tell them that visiting hours were over. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 37



Al was smiling that Alex had won custody of Nora, he knew Livy had put it in her Will that was what she wanted. He never expected it to become a reality. It never crossed his mind that Livy wouldn't be around for Nora. 

"What are the doctors not telling us?" Alex asked him after Nora had fallen asleep. She was gently stroking Nora's hair as the small girl leaned into her. 

"I'm not keeping anything from you," Gavin said firmly looking in the rearview mirror. 

"Promise?" Alex asked him, a single tear running down her face. 

"Promise," Gavin nodded. 

"He's going to be alright?" Alex asked him. 

"He will be if he fights," Gavin said softly. "He needs that reason." 

"What do you mean?" Alex asked him. 

"Stan and I believe your father hasn't decided on whether he wants to fight for his life or not," Gavin told her. "We can fix his heart, we can fix the physical ailments, but Al has to find a reason to live." 

Alex looked out the window, the hardening of her eyes told him that Alex was definitely going to take that issue up. 

"What happened to Andromeda?" Gavin asked her, drawing her eyes from the window. 

"Who?" Alex asked him the confusion filling the reflection in the widow. 

"Andromeda," Gavin said again. "What happened to her?" 

"Damn," Alex laughed. "That movie was awful! Of course, Perseus saved her!" 

"No," Gavin smiled realizing she was confusing his question about the legend of Andromeda and not her art. "Your Andromeda...I know there is no way you let your mother win...I don't care if she beat you hourly! She was redone! Now, what happened to her?" 

Alex looked towards the window and the tip of her smile curved up. 

"How did you know?" 

"Al heard about it from Livy," Gavin explained. "Where is she? Cause I can tell by that smile, you have her somewhere!" Alex's smile broadened. 

"You know that big family portrait in the living room? My mother's pride and joy?" Alex smiled. Gavin nodded. "It had this great big piece of blank canvas on the back!" 

The portrait she was talking about was forty eight by sixty inches in size. A huge family portrait that hung in the living room for all to see. Her mother's pride and joy. She would show it off to each and every new visitor that came into the house. It was the most ostentatious item in the humble home. 

"It HAD a blank piece of canvas?" Gavin smiled. Alex turned her eyes to him and nodded. 

"Let's see the bitch tear that up!" Alex told him coldly. 

*** 

Al woke in the middle of the night with a start. His eyes found Alex sitting on the bed with him. He looked out the window and found it still dark. 

"What time is it?" he asked her pulling the mask off. Alex put the mask back on immediately. 

"Three a.m.," she said. 

"I thought it was after visiting hours," Al teased rolling his eyes that she immediately put the mask back on him. 

"They know better," Alex told him. "Are you quitting on me?" 

Al just looked at her blankly. 

"Don't you do it!" Alex said forcefully. "You will walk me down the goddamn aisle!" 

"Alex I..," 

"NO!" She barked at him. This drew the nurse in. "GET OUT!" Alex barked at her and she quickly closed the door. 

"Don't you do it!" Alex said again. "You have to walk me!" 

"I'm so sorry!" Al told her. "I failed you and Livy!" 

"You haven't failed anyone...yet," Alex told him. "You give up...and I'll never forgive you!" 

"When did you become so tough?" Al smiled at her. She kissed his cheek 

"I take after you," Alex smiled as a tear fell. "I have another reason for you to fight," Alex told him. 

"What's that?" 

"I left you something," Alex told him. "Something I know only you will appreciate." 

"What?" 

"No," Alex said shaking her head and laying down with him. "You have to go home and find it." 

"You are hiding things in my house now?" Al asked with a laugh. 

"No," Alex smiled. "She never left your house...my most prized possession...my greatest triumph. The one thing that has made my entire life possible...it led me to art school. To my first art showing, to the mural, to selling my art for profit...it led me to Gavin. The man who is going to give me my children and they will need their Grandfather!" 

"Give me a hint," Al laughed. 

"You and Gavin talked about it tonight," Alex smiled. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 38



Chapter 53 

"Good morning," Alex said walking into the living room. 

"Good afternoon," Gavin grinned pointing out that it was after lunch. 

She looked to the clock and shook her head. 

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep so I went to the hospital," Alex explained kissing Nora who was coloring with Gavin. 

"Everything Ok?" Gavin asked. 

"Yes," Alex nodded picking up a crayon and began helping as well. "Just wanted to make sure Dad knew what he was supposed to be doing." 

"What he was supposed to be doing?" Gavin asked with a grin. 

Alex nodded. 

"Ok," Gavin smiled. "I have to go back to Chicago today, I have a surgery scheduled. I can reschedule if you need me here." 

"No," Alex shook her head. "We are just waiting on Dad, so go back." 

"Ok," Gavin nodded. "I'll drive back from Chicago so we can lose the rental." 

"Ok," Alex nodded. 

"Are you wanting to stay here, or should I look for a more permanent place until your Dad is better?" Gavin asked her. 

"What do you mean?" Alex asked him. 

"The landlord here wants to rent it," Gavin told her about Livy's apartment. 

"Oh," Alex frowned. "I don't want to rush back." Alex told him, she hadn't even thought about the apartment. 

"Ok," Gavin nodded. "I'll start looking for a place to rent here." 

After dropping Gavin at the airport in Pittsburg, Alex and Nora made their way back to the hospital. 

Walking in, they found Al getting some physical therapy. He smiled at them as the physical therapist finished stretching his legs. 

"How are you feeling today?" Alex asked him. 

"Just so wore out!" Al complained. 

"Part of it is the meds," Alex explained. "At least that is what Gavin told me." 

"Where is he?" Al asked as he held Nora in his arms. 

"He had to fly back to Chicago for some appointments," Alex told him watching his father and Nora together made her smile. 

"How are you doing little girl?" Al asked Nora. She shrugged. 

"You don't smell like you normally do," the little girl told him. 

"Well, that's probably because I haven't had a shower in days!" He laughed. 

"You don't smell bad Grandpa, you just don't smell like you normally do," she assured him. 

"I don't have my man cologne," he told her. This brought the memory of the scent to Alex. His Old Spice. 

"You look better today," Alex told him taking his hand. 

"I guess you and Gavin were right," Al told her. "With all that is going on...I just needed to make a decision." 

"I like the decision you have made," Alex smiled. 

"Gotta get better," Al said kissing Nora's head. "I have a job to do!" 

"Where are you guys staying?" he asked. 

"Right now, at ...Nora's," Alex choked on the word 'Livy's', never able to get it out. She switched to make it Nora's place instead. A name that wouldn't bring tears or a nauseous feeling. "But we will have to move to a hotel or something after Gavin gets back." 

"Why don't you guys just stay at the house?" Al asked her. "Plenty of room there, and it would make me feel better if someone was there." 

"Mom is there," Alex frowned. "I'm not sure I'm ready for her yet." 

"What do you mean?" 

"There was a...incident," Alex said carefully. "I...sort of...hit her." 

"You did what?" Al asked his voice going cold. 

"Dad," Alex tried to get out of the quicksand of the conversation. "Later." 

"No," Al told her, his eyes hardening. 

Alex shifted her eyes towards Nora, indicating she didn't want to discuss it in front of her. Al nodded that he understood but he shook his head angrily letting Alex know he wasn't happy. 

The door behind her opening had them both looking to it. Krista and her husband Ken walked in, Trevor after that. 

"Hey Aunt Alex," Trevor smiled as he saw her. 

"Hey Trevor," Alex smiled and stood. 

She hugged the teen and within that hug she could tell there was still some discord between him and his parents. It was the way he held on to her a little longer than normal that told her so. Telling her within the embrace that there was a pain he wanted her to ease. 

She leaned back and cupped his face in her hands and let him know with her eyes that the message was received. He smiled when he realized she got it. 

"How are you doing?" she asked him. 

"Still kind of shook up, ya' know?" he asked. 

"I know," she said hugging him again. 

Trever sat down near Nora and went over the last couple of hockey games for Al who wasn't allowed to watch games as it got him too excited. The Penguins had pulled out two overtime games and was looking like a lock for the playoffs. After a few minutes of small talk, Trevor knew he had to get Nora from the room so the adults could "talk". He could tell by the way his parents and Alex weren't talking. Nothing said between them but the icy stares. 

"Hey kiddo," Trevor smiled. "What do you say we go down and check if they have those gummi bears you like so much?" Nora nodded and Alex pulled some money out of her pocket. 

"No, I got it," Trevor told her with a shake of his head. Alex took his hand and put the money in anyway. Trevor went to argue but Alex lifted her eyebrows. 

"Are you sure you want to argue...with me?" Alex winked at him. 

"No chance," Trevor laughed. The two kids left the room. The mood in the room shifted dramatically. Gone was the light conversation of hockey and school. Now the air seemed to get heavy and Alex looked to her father who sensed it as well. 

"You have to let Mom move back in," Krista began as soon as the door was closed behind the kids. Alex looked to him, shocked that her mother wasn't living at home. 

"Mom isn't living at the house?" Alex asked him. He shook his head. 

"No, he kicked her out because of her belief in God," Krista growled. Alex cut her eyes to her oldest sister and shot fire at her. 

"I did not kick her out for her belief in God, I kicked her out for her lack of it," Al told them carefully. "She claims to be Christian, but fails in living like it!" 

"Dad!" Krista whined. 

"Stop," Alex demanded her older sister to stop whining, the mere sound of her whiney voice like that of nails on a chalkboard. "Explain," she demanded from her father. 

"I told your mother to choose," Al told her. "If she wanted to live with me and stay as my wife then she would have to leave her church." 

"Dad," Alex was confused. "Why?" 

"Her church was tearing this family apart," Al told her firmly. "Scratch that...it tore this family apart." 

"I watched her use her church to push you away," Al told her taking her hand. "I haven't forgiven myself for that yet...then she starts in on Livy. I knew you were strong enough to handle all the bullshit...but Livy was never strong like you. I could see what her mother was doing with her words and I did nothing!" He shook his head in humiliation. "Then she did something I never thought I would ever have to worry about." 

"What was that?" Alex asked him. 

"She put Nora in a position to be abused," he told her. 

"What?" Alex growled. 

"Livy had forbidden your mother to take Nora over to Don's," Al explained laying his head back, struggling to catch his breath. "She was doing it anyway on Thursday nights." 

"The last time, the little bitch of a whore Don was with hurt Nora," Al said as his eyes flashed with anger. 

"Easy," Alex warned seeing his temper rise. 

"I sent your mother over with specific instructions," Al told her. "She was to apologize to Livy and promise to never disobey her wishes concerning Nora ever again." 

"What happened?" Alex asked carefully. 

"She instead tried to convince Livy to go back to Don so she could save face in her fucking church," Al finished. 

"Oh my God!" Alex gasped shaking her head. 

"I sat there in our kitchen, trying to figure out what happened to the woman I married," Al gasped in disbelief letting Alex know he was still left wondering. "I realized, that as long as she was in the church she would stay this way. So I told her to pack some bags and leave. She could come back, when she left that particular church." 

Alex buried her face in her hands and shook her head. It was no wonder Livy felt so much pressure. She had already felt responsible for her own marriage falling apart, which had nothing to do with her. Then the pressure of watching her parent's marriage crumble. Then her mother and sisters ganging up on her while she was alone. 

"You can't expect Mom to turn her back on God," Krista told him. 

"I'm not," Al smiled. "She can go to any church she wants to." 

"Oh," Krista sighed with relief, glad he had changed his mind. "She told me that you wouldn't let her move back in!" 

"No," Al shook his head. "She can move back in when she gets your sister's forgiveness." 

Krista's face contorted then she rolled her eyes knowing that Alex liked to hold grudges. She hoped that the idea of their parents divorcing after thirty years would make her make an exception in this case. For the happiness of the family and then the church would be so much easier to handle. 

"Alex?" Krista asked. "You aren't going to hold a grudge from something you could have ended years ago?" 

"What?" Al and Alex said at once. 

"Alex will forgive her," Krista assured. 

"No," Al said with a shake of his head. "She needs to get Livy's forgiveness." 

"Dad!" Krista gasped. "She can't." 

"I know," Al said coldly. 

"Dad!" Krista said in disbelief. "Alex, talk some sense into him!" 

Alex looked to him and frowned, reading his face. It was rare for her father to make such a resolute stand. He normally was easygoing. She then looked back to her older sister. 

"Just a second ago you were blaming me for all of this, putting the blame at my feet for Mom and Dad. How did that work out last time you tried that?" Alex barked at her. Krista misunderstood the comment and rolled her eyes. 

"I think Dad needs to rest," Alex said staring at him. "His marriage needs to take a back seat to getting better." 

"But this is ludicrous!" Krista exclaimed. "You can't throw thirty years of marriage away!" 

"I'm not," Al warned her. "She is." 

Krista threw her hands up in frustration. She stalked back and forth trying to figure out what to do next. She looked to Alex when the kids came back and she tilted her head that she wanted to talk to Alex in the hall. Alex frowned and kissed her father. 

"I'm going for some coffee," Alex smiled. "Want anything?" 

"Yeah," Al smiled. "How about the Blast Furnace Burger from the Industry Public House? Tall beer? Think they would let me have that?" 

"Uh," Alex laughed. "I think if the burger itself didn't kill you, the ghost peppers on it would!" 

"I eat one every time I'm in Pittsburg!" Al defended. 

"Which is why you had your little heart attack!" Alex pointed out. "Oh, and don't think that scolding is forgotten about! As soon as you're better..." Alex left it open ended and Al chuckled. 

Alex waited for her sister to follow her out of the ICU room and for the door to close before turning. 

"What?" Alex growled. 

"Alex," Krista said shaking her head taking note of the demeanor change. "You can't let Mom and Dad end their marriage!" 

"I'm not letting anything happen!" Alex told her. "It sounds like Mom is doing it all!" 

"C'mon!" Krista begged. "This is our parents we are talking about!" 

"You still haven't clued in yet?" Alex asked her. "You still think all of this can be salvaged? Still not taking responsibility for you role in all this?" 

"My role?" Krista gasped. Alex nodded then shook her head that Krista was playing this off. "You are saying this is my fault?" 

"I'm saying this has been brought on by the lot of you!" Alex suddenly snapped turning on her sister who was following a safe distance behind her. "You and your fucking church! It disowned Livy...even though she was the only one blameless for what happened. Your fucking church sided with Don and his whore." 

"You and your lot," Alex snarled with venom nearly dripping from her teeth. "Then began to heap caustic remarks on her and disowned her. Your own flesh and blood! The people who she should have been able to lean on, abandoning her and taking sides with the guilty?" 

"We nev...," 

"Fuck you!" Alex snapped. "I talked to Livy nearly every day! She told me everything you were doing." 

The snarling and the venom being sprayed forced the nurse to call security to make sure this argument didn't get out of hand. 

"How dare you!" Alex finally gasped shaking her head. "Livy was so fragile! She always was! She went with you guys only because she didn't have the strength to stand alone! Then when she needed your understanding...you deserted her! Then you began to heap all of your problems on her! Oh how bad this looks to our church? Oh how bad this makes US look?" Alex mocked her in a sweet and innocent voice that was anything but. 

"You wanted her to stay with a man that cheated repeatedly," Alex reminded. "To stay with a man that had two close calls of knocking someone else up. She forgave him once, I sorta understood that...but if she would have done it a second time...I would have lost a lot of respect for her. I wouldn't have disowned her like you, but I would have told her she was being a fool to take him back!" 

"You know the old saying," Alex said as the security got there. "Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice? Shame on me!" 

"Having never been married, I don't expect you to understand what it takes to make a marriage work!" Krista said dismissively. 

"I need to be married to understand that a man should make a commitment and then stick to it?" Alex laughed. "No, no, no...I don't have to be married to know I should be treated with respect! I don't have to be married to have the man I love keep his dick in his pants!" 

"A vow is something different than living in sin like you are doing!" Krista pointed out. 

"Hmm," Alex laughed as the security guard came over. She looked at him and her eyes told him all he needed to know. He stopped and stood nearby. "It's really rather funny...you do realize that marriage in itself wasn't really a thing back when Christ was alive?" 

"What?" Krista laughed disbelievingly her mind scrambling to decipher what Alex was saying. 

"Oh yeah," Alex smiled. "When Jesus walked, if two people wanted to be together, there was no formal ceremony like we have today, that didn't start until nearly a thousand years after his death. Before then, it was two people who made a commitment to one another. Verbally...then backed it up with their actions. No paper, no rings and no church. So all of those people lived in sin?" 

"I mean if you want to ridicule me, be my guest," Alex shrugged. "But the very first man and woman on earth?" Alex shrugged with a smile. "Who married them?" Krista shook her head. 

"Adam and Eve? No preacher? Living in sin!" Alex laughed. "Your idea of Christianity and marriage is so fucked up! Ridicule and point out the flaws of others while you pretend to have none yourself? Fucking hypocrite!" 

"I'm not doing that!" Krista warned. 

"No?" Alex asked. "Still not coming to grips that it was you, Mom and Brandy who killed Livy?" 

"Livy killed herself!" Krista growled. 

"Hmm," Alex shook her head. "And your little stand here in the hospital? Where the three of you blamed her for Dad's heart attack?" Krista lost the expression on her face. 

"Oh yes, bitch," Alex nearly laughed. "I know all about it! I know that you never returned her phone calls...never accepted her offers for dinner. Refused to be her sister when she needed you the most." 

"Then stood here in this hospital and bullied her, blaming her for the fact your hypocritical church is now turning on you!" Alex giggled sinisterly. "That's what this is really about, right? You want Dad to take Mom back because holy shit! If they get a divorce? Oh my, what will your precious little church do to you? Or are you planning on shunning Mom next? Going to cut ties? Going to try and be Christian? First Livy, then Mom, what will the church think? Will they look at you and Brandy and wonder...which one is next?" 

"Will they huddle around and whisper behind your back, taking bets on which Lasko sister will bite the dust next?" Alex laughed again. "Oh Krista...are you next?" 

"Alex," Krista gasped. 

"No, no dear," Alex said mockingly. "You are not my sister, we are not family. Try that bullshit with someone else! Ease your conscious in your church, if you can." Alex left her sister there with her jaw open. "If they will still have you after all the sin of divorced parents and a sister living in sin!" 

*** 

Jack sat in the front pew of his church staring at the floor. The blood was gone now but he could still see it. He could still see her, lying there. The tears fell silently down his face. The pain just wouldn't recede. It haunted him. The weight loss pointed out by those around him. His normally clean shaven face now replaced with stubble as he just didn't have the urge or energy to shave. 

He looked to the stained glass behind the altar, Christ in his final moments. 

"Forgive me Father!" He whispered softly. "I have doubts!" He closed his eyes and tears were forced out. 

The feeling of someone taking his hand caused his eyes to open and his lungs to empty the air in them as he looked at her. 

"Livy?" he gasped. She smiled at him. "What?" 

"This isn't your fault!" she told him. 

"It's all my fault!" he cried. 

"No," 

"Yes," he nodded. "I should have chosen you!" 

"No," 

"Yes," he closed his eyes and when he opened his eyes, she wasn't there. He knew she wasn't real, but she had been haunting his dreams. Now she was haunting him while he was awake. 

"Father Jack?" the voice caused him to spin and look behind him. 

"Alex," he smiled. He stood and faced her. 

"Are you OK?" she asked him coming closer. 

"Yes," he nodded. 

She looked at him skeptically and took his outstretched hand and shook it. 

"How can I help you?" Jack asked her guiding her to the pew and sitting down with her. 

"I'm struggling with all of this," Alex admitted. "But I should warn you, I'm not Catholic." This caused a soft huff of a laugh from the priest. "What?" 

"The very first conversation with Livy began an awful lot like this!" he smiled. "I first met your sister right there." Jack said turning and pointing to the pew two rows back. 

"She was so lost!" Jack told her softly. "So confused!" Alex nodded as she watched the tears fall. 

"Disowned by her family...abandoned by her church...husband causing her so much pain, struggling to figure out what was best for Nora, standing alone," Jack complained. "Not you of course," Jack corrected. Alex nodded that she understood. 

"She felt that even God had abandoned her," Jack shook his head as he looked to the spot on the floor he last felt her. Alex followed his eyes as he had stopped talking. 

"Father?" She coaxed softly. 

"Sorry," he said shaking his head to clear the vision of her there, covered in her blood. "What can I do for you?" 

"I'll be taking Nora home with me, once my father is better," Alex told him. "Livy has asked me to take Nora in, with her Will." 

"I understand," Jack nodded as his face became distant again as he stared at Livy on the floor of blood. 

"I'm going to keep her in the Catholic Church," Alex told him following his eyes again. "Not being Catholic, I'm not sure what to do." 

"Hmm," Jack smiled. He turned to face her. "Nora has already begun the Catechism classes, so you just need to contact the local church near you. Once she finishes her classes, she will have her first communion. Then she will be Catholic so these conversations with Lasko women don't start with 'I'm not Catholic!'" He laughed without humor. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 38



"Are you ok Father?" Alex asked as she watched him stare at the spot on the floor again. 

"No," he said simply. "I won't ever be ok again." He looked to her and shook his head that he didn't want to go into it. 

"Jack," Alex said touching his face gently. "This was not your fault." 

"Yes it was," Jack said tearfully. "If I had been here..." 

"Jack," Alex shook her head. "Livy would never have blamed you...Nora doesn't blame you. I don't either. I am happy that in her final moments she was with someone who cared about her!" 

"Sorry Alex," Jack said standing up. "I wish forgiveness was that easy!" He began to walk towards the door to leave. 

"Jack," Alex said not looking at him. "It was that mentality that killed Livy...don't do the same." 

Jack stood holding the doorknob in his hand. 

"You were so quick to forgive Livy," Alex pointed out turning to him. "Be as quick and easy to forgive yourself." Jack said nothing but left the sanctuary quietly. 

Alex looked to the immaculately clean floor and wondered what he was looking for. 

*** 

Gavin stood in the entryway of the condo. His eyes looking at everything. He began to wonder if his life was ever going to be the same. On the flight home, all he could think about was how his life was going to change now. Not just a little, but dramatically. He was still adjusting to having a woman in his life who was about to become his wife! 

No longer looking at the woman on his arm as just a sub, or just a woman he was living with for a short period of time. This relationship had no definitive end, well it did. Until death do us part. This relationship wasn't like the others. It wasn't like Elizabeth or Regina before her. This one, had kidnapped his heart and he didn't want it back. 

He adapted his mindset to accept the fact he was no longer going to be a bachelor, now he had to change it again. Now he was going to be married and become an instant parent. It wasn't something he had even thought about. Yes they had talked about her going off the birth control but he thought he would have had time to come to grips with children. Nine months at least! 

Now, he looked around the condo and thought of all the things he had done in this place. The parties. The women. He let his head drop back and thought about it. He liked his lifestyle. He liked BDSM. How does one continue that with kids? 

The phone in his pocket rang and he answered it without looking. 

"I hear you are back in Chicago?" Madelyn's voice asked him. 

"Yeah," Gavin nodded. "I had some surgeries scheduled." 

"Are you ok?" she could hear the doubt in his voice. 

"I'm just standing here looking at the condo," he told her. 

"Something amiss?" 

"No," he told her. "Just thinking how my life is changing." 

"Doubts?" she asked. 

"I guess so," he admitted embarrassedly. 

"I would be surprised if you weren't having some doubts," Madelyn told him. "It would have told me you weren't thinking everything through." 

"I liked my life," Gavin told her. "Is it horrible to say that?" 

"No," she assured him. "But it doesn't have to end." 

"How the hell can I have a Dom/sub relationship with a child in the condo?" Gavin asked her. 

"I don't know," she admitted. "I never had to factor kids into the life." 

"I've been a Dom so long, what if I can't do vanilla?" he asked himself more than her. 

"You adapt," she answered. "You are such a good Dom that you adapted almost yearly, adapting for the sub!" 

"That was different," he told her. 

"No," she argued. "You adapted, that's all you have to do." 

"What if I can't?" 

"Then you will have to leave her," Madelyn said firmly. 

"I can't do that either," he said softly. 

"I thought you and Alex had talked about kids?" she asked him. 

"We had," he agreed. "But I thought I would have had time to adjust. Time to come to grips with the realization...," 

"Realization?" Madelyn asked when he stopped talking. 

"I'm not going to be the most important person in her life anymore," Gavin whispered. 

"No," Madelyn agreed. "You won't." 

"How does a Dom adjust to that?" Gavin asked her. 

"I don't know," Madelyn said softly. "I don't know." 

"I'm also going to have to violate another absolute," Gavin told her. 

"Which one?" 

"I'm going to have to share," he told her. "I'm going to have to share her." 

The following morning he made his way down to the garage to start his drive back to Pennsylvania. He hadn't slept much and now he wondered if he should put it off another day and get some rest. He rejected the idea, knowing Alex was there by herself, and she needed him there. 

Looking at the two cars parked in the private garage he stopped. Both were sports cars. Bucket seats, and very little room in the back. Built for single people, not for people with little kids in booster seats. Not families. Bringing the wave of disillusionment that his life that he loved was now changing and he couldn't stop it from happening. 

"What the fuck are you going to do?" Gavin asked himself. The doubt clouding his mood. "Adapt." He said heading for Alex's Mercedes. "You are just going to have to adapt!" 

*** 

Alex stood waiting for the elevator. They were taking her father for more tests and therapy. She was holding Nora's hand as they had decided to go out for lunch instead of eating hospital food again. Her smiled broadened as she saw him walking up. 

"Uncle Gavin!" Nora shouted as she dropped Alex's hand and ran towards him. Gavin dropped to his knees and Nora engulfed him in her arms and he did the same with her. His eyes closing and his face losing some of its distress. 

Alex watched it happen and wondered what he was worried about. Was it just the terrible stuff swirling around them or was there something more even more unfathomable? She watched his face melt and the smile come out. Nora kissed his cheek and he returned the love to her. Then looked up at Alex. 

"Where are you two ladies headed?" he asked Nora. 

"To get real food!" Nora whispered in his ear, which caused him to laugh. 

"Not digging the hospital food?" he asked her. 

"It doesn't have any taste!" Nora complained. Gavin nodded that he agreed. He stood up and Alex was still watching him very carefully, trying to ascertain what was on his mind. He shook his head at her as she was still easy for him to read. 

"I'm fine," he told her taking her face and cupping it with his hand. 

"Are you sure?" she asked him. 

"Positive," he nodded. "Well...sorta positive. We'll find out in the next fifteen minutes." He said, his mischievous grin coming out. 

"What does that mean?" Alex asked him. 

"I'll explain over lunch," he told her taking her hand. Now he was flanked by Nora in one hand, Alex in the other. 

He began to walk out and caught their reflection in the glass. They looked like a family. He stopped and Alex looked to him then to where his eyes were glued. 

"What's wrong?" she asked. 

"Nothing," he shrugged. "Adapting." 

He continued his way out, with the girls on either side of him. He pulled the key out to the Mercedes and pushed the remote to unlock the doors. 

"What the hell is that?" Alex asked stopping in her tracks. 

"That," Gavin gave a half smile. "Is an adaptation." 

They stood looking over the new Mercedes SUV. Alex closed her eyes, she should have recognized that little grin. It was the same one he had when he got her the other Mercedes. 

"I didn't think we could both keep sports cars," Gavin shrugged. "Not much room for car seats." 

"It's still a lease, right?" Alex asked he voice hardening. Gavin chuckled. "Shit!" 

"I think we are beyond leases, right?" Gavin asked her. "I mean, the lease thing was only supposed to last two years anyway...and that was when I was looking at us as dating." 

"Now that we are going to be married," Gavin shrugged. "I kind of figured that whole stance of buying your own car was gone." 

"No," Alex said through gritted teeth. "It wasn't!" 

"Really?" Gavin chuckled. "We are about to become husband and wife...sharing in all things. Love. Home. Money. Bills." He could see that line of reasoning was having no effect on the temper tantrum Alex was thinking of throwing. 

"I mean really?" Gavin asked her deciding to change tact's. "Where are we going to put Nora? In the trunk of my Aston Martin? And while your old Mercedes said it had a back seat...you know for a fact it doesn't really have much...uh room?" Gavin flicked his eyebrows at her reminding her of the one attempt of having sex in it. They decided it was impossible and he wound up fucking her on the hood instead. 

"I could have gone with a mini-van," Gavin pointed out. 

"Oh God! No!" Alex said with a gasp. "I'll take the SUV!" 

"Thought so," Gavin laughed as he opened the door and put Nora in the car seat he had already retrieved from the rental car. He held the keys up to her and she took it apprehensively. 

"I'm not sure how I feel about this," Alex warned him. 

"I'm not sure we have a choice," he said back. "We are both going to have to make some on the fly adjustments." 

"Like?" she asked knowing he wasn't really talking about the new car. 

"Our lifestyle," he told her. 

"I'm sorry," Alex said shaking her head. "I hadn't even thought about it!" 

"It's not something we have to address right now, but it will have to be addressed." 

"Do you have ideas?" she asked. 

"None," he told her with a shrug as he opened the driver's side car door. "But, sometimes life doesn't give you choices of when and where to adapt. Sometimes you have to adapt or fade away." Alex closed her eyes. She didn't like the concept of fading away. 

*** 

They walked into Alex's childhood home. It seemed empty without her mother or father there. Gavin took the sleeping Nora up the stairs and Alex followed him slowly. Looking at the pictures that lined the staircase. She started to cry as she saw a picture of a smiling Livy, her front tooth missing in a school picture. 

Gavin turned at the top of the stairs and looked back at her. 

"First door on the left," Alex told him shaking her head and continuing on. Alex pulled the small girl's shoes off as Gavin made his way out. 

Looking back at her Alex's heart began to break. Even though she was going to be with her from here on, Nora would have to someday come to grips with her mother's suicide. There would be sadness involved. There would be anger as well. There would be confusion. There may even be some guilt. 

She found Gavin already in bed in her old room. She smiled at him from the doorway and began to take her clothes off. She slid into bed after putting on some sleep wear. Gavin pulled her deeply within his embrace and held her tightly. She wrapped her arms and her fingers around his and felt his body on hers from behind. 

"What are we going to do with our lifestyle choice?" Alex asked him. She had been thinking about it ever since he brought it up. Could they continue it? 

"I don't know," he admitted. "Not the most pressing problem we have, so it will keep." 

"What's the most pressing problem?" she asked him. "The wedding?" 

"No, that's been postponed," he told her. She spun on him. 

"What?" the panic ripping through her as she thought about the negatives that statement had. 

"Easy!" he commanded as he realized where she leapt to. "I put it on hold because your dad is in no condition to walk you down the aisle!" 

"But...," she began but couldn't get the question out. 

"I'm not letting you off that easy!" Gavin teased. "You are still stuck with becoming my wife!" She smiled as her breathing came back as she was sure she hadn't taken a breath since her mind leapt to conclusions that he was backing out of marrying her. 

She returned to his embrace. 

"We will do the wedding when Al is strong enough to fulfill his fatherly duties," Gavin assured her with a kiss to the back of her head. 

"Just as long as you aren't changing your mind," she said cautiously. 

"Never," he told her. 

It was just one word, but it was the way he said the word. The conviction in it. Like what she believed the men at the Alamo had told Santa Anna when they were told to surrender. The word leaving no doubt at the ending. 

"Our lives are going to change...aren't they?" she asked him. 

"Yes," he whispered. "For the better." 

She smiled and sleep came to her quickly. The exhaustion of the emotions taking its toll. The relief of him holding her. The relief of the knowledge through all of this, he was still there, holding her hand. 

She thought back to the hospital, when he stopped and looked at something she couldn't see. Then in her mind's eyes she saw it. He was not only holding her hand. He was holding Nora's. That's what had stopped him. 

*** 

Jack opened the door to the rectory and the smell overpowered him. He furrowed his brow and made his way to the kitchen to see who was cooking. Walking in, his feet cemented to the floor of the doorway. 

"Hey honey," the woman smiled at him. "Dinner will be done in a few!" She went back to cooking, the smell making his mouth water. 

"What are you doing?" he asked her, the smile crossing his face. 

"Making dinner," she replied. "Duh!" 

"No," he smiled as her chastising. "What are you doing here?" 

"Where else would I be?" she asked him setting a plate down on the table for him. "C'mon, I know you're hungry. You haven't eaten in days!" 

"I haven't been hungry," he told her dragging his feet to the table. 

"Well," she shrugged. "I hope you're hungry now, because I made tons!" 

"Well, the poker boys will be happy then, until you take their money again," he said to her as he sat down. He didn't pick up the fork and dig in like his stomach wanted to. He stared at his food and then lifted his head to look at her. 

"Oh my!" he gasped. She had undone the buttons on her shirt and had slipped it off. "I can't." He told her immediately. 

"Yes you can," she smiled taking off her bra and revealing herself to him. He turned his eyes away. 

"Please," he whispered. "Get dressed!" 

She picked up his hand and put in on her breast. The soft warm feel of it filled his hand and he gasped softly. 

"Do you like that?" she asked him. He could only nod. She picked up his other hand and put it on her other breast. "Feel me Jack, squeeze me, I know you want to!" She reached to his lap and felt him and found him hard. 

"This is...I can't," he whispered still not looking at her, but not pulling his hands away for her body. 

"It's ok," she whispered. "I won't tell anyone!" 

"I will know!" he told her firmly as she pulled his zipper down. "Please don't!" 

"You lips say one thing, your cock says another!" she told him dropping to her knees and taking his hardness into her warm mouth causing him to whimper slightly. 

He looked down and saw the dark hair bobbing gently on him. His cock disappearing then reappearing from her mouth. Her saliva glistening on it making it shiny in the kitchen light. His hand came to rest on the back of her head, not pulling her off, but helping her along. She sped up as he leaned back and let her continue. Something he knew he shouldn't allow. But God had failed him, maybe he wasn't meant to wear the collar anymore. Maybe this was the last straw. 

The wet, warm feel of her mouth made his legs shake as his mind fought within itself. The guilt of letting this poor girl go down on him, damning them both! His hips began to rock upward, how long had it been? Since before seminary. Ten years? Fifteen years now? That was the last time he let a woman touch him with sexual desire. 

The girl was drunk, a college girl from a nearby state school. This woman wasn't her. He truly cared about this woman. He scoffed at himself, if he cared about her he would stop her and keep her from damning her soul...and his. Still, his hands weren't stopping her, they were helping her. Her soft moans telling him she wanted this, and her aggressiveness telling him she had wanted it for a long time. 

His toes began to point as his orgasm began to build. His legs tight and shaking now as she brought her hand up and began to tug on his hard cock. Holding just the head in her mouth as she stroked. 

"You need to stop!" he begged. "This is wrong!" 

She giggled in response as she truly knew he didn't want her to stop, if he did, he wouldn't be pressing on her head. 

He erupted into her mouth causing him to call out in a growl as his long unattended cock bucked with great force, a buildup of cum over the years it seemed. Exploding and filling her mouth with his salty seed. Lightning bolt, after lightning bolt shot through his body with each ejaculation into her mouth. He seemed to cum forever, his breathing ragged as he fell back against the seat back as she slowly ran her tongue around the head of his cock, cleaning him off. 

He looked down at her, knowing he could never return to the collar now. She looked up at him. Her eyes satisfied as she reached for the glass on the table and took a drink to wash him down. 

Jack awoke with a start, his breathing rapid and short. His shirt wet with perspiration. He felt himself through his pajama and found himself rock hard, a slight wetness surrounding the tip of his cock in his pajama bottoms. 

"Please Lord," he whispered. "Forgive me!" He said a short prayer as his breath became normal again. He rolled over and saw her. 

"Livy," he whispered as she sat in the chair in his bedroom. 

"That was a completely inappropriate dream," she told him. Her hands resting on the arms of the chair in which she sat. 

"Why are you haunting my dreams?" he asked her. 

"Is that what I was doing?" she smiled. "Haunting you?" 

Jack sat up in bed and looked to the empty chair. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 39



Just a quick correction, in the last update, I mention Mean Joe Green as a linebacker...as a Miami Dolphin fan I should know better. He actually was a defensive lineman. Small detail, true, but an import one. I should know better. Also, I keep spelling "Pittsburg", It's actually Pittsburgh. Again a small detail mistake but one I shouldn't be making! Huge thanks to Biglefty for the help in catching these mistakes, it helps when I go to my editing when I do go mainstream with this series. Thanks! 

CJT 

Chapter 54 

"Jack, how are you?" the Bishop asked embracing him. 

"Not good sir," Jack admitted with a tired sigh. 

"What can I do to help?" the Bishop offered sitting in a chair next to Jack. 

"I need...guidance," Jack told him softly. 

"I'm here," the fatherly man said putting his hand on Jack's shoulder. 

"I lost a member of my church...there in my church," Jack told him carefully. Just mentioning it brought the full vision of her to his mind and he struggled to keep himself together. 

"I heard," 

"I can't stop thinking of her," Jack said putting his face in his hands. 

"I think that is quite normal, don't you?" the Bishop asked. 

"Dan," Jack sat up and blew a heavy breath out. "I'm seeing her in my dreams." 

"Again, quite normal," Dan told him gently. 

"I'm seeing her when I'm awake as well," Jack admitted knowing how that sounded. 

"Jesus Jack," Dan said shaking his head. "The woman died in your arms! If you weren't troubled by that? Oh my God, I would be worried!" Dan got up and walked around his big wood desk and pulled out a card. 

Coming back around he handed the card to Jack and the priest looked at it. 

"That is Father Sybian Woundi," Dan told him tapping at the card. "He is a psychiatrist and he deals with these types of things." 

"I'm lost Dan," Jack admitted with a cracking voice. "I think I should leave the church." 

"Jack, Jack, Jack," the Bishop shook his head. "No, I'm not going to allow that right now. I need you to talk to Sybian, I need you to work on yourself. I know you have been through a lot...Jack, prayer isn't the only thing you need. You have been through a traumatic experience. Seminary doesn't prepare you for what you went through." 

"Dan," Jack wanted to admit all to him. To confess his sins of not only his dream but his feelings for her. 

"Jack," Dan said softly, interrupting his intention. "Wait...right now you are lost...but God will guide you. If, and I mean if, your destiny lies outside the church then I will handle the details." 

Jack nodded as he held the card. He didn't have much faith in anything right now. God? He was not taking his calls evidently. If He was, He would have saved Livy. Instead God took her and left him with the monumental guilt he was suffering. 

*** 

Marylyn sat at the table, the bible open in front of her. Krista and her husband were at work, Trevor had gone out with friends. Alone in the quiet of the house she stared at her coffee cup and thought of it all. Her husband's heart attack. Her daughter's suicide. Her impending divorce. It all weighed in on her, crushing her. She got up and dumped her coffee in the sink and looked out into the back yard. 

The sorrow of all that had happened these last few days weighed her down, her sleep wouldn't come and when she attempted to contact and talk to Rev. Sellers he was always busy. She needed his guidance. She needed his help and comfort. 

She picked up her keys and walked out to her car. Driving to the hospital she didn't know what she was going to say to him. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. Krista had gone to talk to him but she said he wasn't up to talking yet so she didn't broach the subject of going home. She didn't know that was a lie. Krista didn't have the nerve to tell her that Alex was adamant that she wouldn't help her mother at all. That she was content to let her parents' marriage fail. That it wouldn't be broached until Al was better. 

While she was out and seeing how she was going in that direction, she thought it might be a good idea just to check on the house and make sure the doors were locked and the windows were shut. She knew Al would be in the hospital for weeks so it was best to make sure everything was secure. 

Pulling in she got out slowly and walked up to the door, her key in hand. The doorknob turned in her hand easily and it caused her to frown. She must have forgotten to lock it when she left, so she patted herself mentally on the back for a good decision to come check on the house. Something she was wondering if she could make now a days. 

Opening the door she almost ran into him. 

"Gavin," she said her mouth going dry. "What are you doing here?" 

"Marylyn," Gavin attempted to smile at her. "Al offered to let us stay here instead of the hotel." 

"Oh," she nodded. "I didn't know." She looked around apprehensively. 

"She's gone to the store," he told her about Alex, reading her fear easily. "It's just me and Nora." It was fairly obvious she didn't want to lock horns with her youngest daughter today. Or maybe any day. 

"Oh," Marylyn nodded. "I just came by to make sure the house was locked up." 

"How are you?" Gavin asked her. She looked up at him shocked at his kind demeanor. She expected him to be standoffish or maybe even mean, but he wasn't. 

"Not well," Marylyn admitted. "How is Al?" 

"He's doing better," Gavin told her. "The tests are coming back better...still not out of the woods, but it looks better." 

"So he is going to be ok?" Marylyn asked. 

"Yes," Gavin said resolutely. "Time. It fixes a lot of things." The double reference was not lost on her. 

Nora came downstairs and saw her grandmother and froze on the stairs. 

"Hello baby," Marylyn attempted. Nora said nothing, she glared at her then turned and ran up the stairs, stomping her feet loudly to express her feelings. Marylyn brought a quaking hand to her lips. She bowed her head and let the tears that were blurring her vision come out. 

Gavin took the woman gently into his arms and held her. She was shocked, she was expecting coldness, but Gavin was anything but. 

"C'mon," he nudged. "Let's go outside and talk for a bit." 

She let him guide her out and towards the rockers she and Al had used on many occasions on warm summer nights. 

"You must think I'm a horrible person," she began after they sat down. 

"No," Gavin shrugged. "I really hardly know you at all." 

"I'm sure your opinion of me isn't all that great!" she coughed out a laugh to mask her sadness. 

"Marylyn," Gavin began slowly. "How about I just reserve judgement for a while?" 

"How is Alex?" she asked him. 

"Devastated," he admitted. 

"Is this my fault?" she blurted out with her tears. Gavin looked at her for a moment before answering. But the moment seemed like an eternity to Marylyn. 

"There is enough blame to go around," he told her gently. She couldn't think about Livy without breaking down in tears and Al was tough to talk about as well. So she shifted her conversation to something that wasn't so painful. 

"When will you give Nora back to Don?" she asked him sitting up and wiping her eyes. 

"What?" he asked her. 

"Don, her father, when are you going to let him take her?" 

"I guess you haven't heard," he said, caution in his voice. "Livy's will stated Alex is to have custody of Nora." 

"What?" she gasped. "Over the biological father?" 

"He lost all rights to her when he sighed her over for the house," Gavin explained. 

"She belongs with her family," Marylyn told him firmly. 

She could only imagine what the church would say when they heard that not only was Don, a fellow church member, not going to get custody of his own daughter but he was losing her to a woman living in sin in the devil's lair! What would they say about her when she would be powerless to stop Alex from taking her, as there was no way Alex would listen to her mother! 

"She is with family," Gavin said coolly, his eyes narrowing on Marylyn. "She is with Alex." 

"I meant she should be with her father," she tried to justify catching the tone he was talking to her with. It was obvious he was on board with Alex keeping Nora. There was no division in them. Something she found surprising and a little refreshing as there was always some sort of bickering or division amongst her other daughters and their spouses. 

Just then a silver Mercedes SUV pulled up and Marylyn swallowed hard. Alex's cold angry eyes leveled her from the driver's seat. She sat there in her car for a moment before getting out, debating on what to do. The first thought was to put the car in reverse and back out, call Gavin and tell him she would return when the bitch had left. She looked to Gavin and his eyes warned her not to start anything. She got out of the car, expressing her mood with an angry slam of the door. 

She walked up with a resolute purpose, her eyes focused on the door of the house. 

"Alex," her mother said softly stopping her. Alex didn't look at her, instead she stood staring at the door. She was afraid to look at her mother, the concern she would not be able to control her temper if she had to talk to her mother. "How are you going to work visitation for Don?" 

"I'm not," Alex said still staring at the door. The words snapping off her tongue letting her mother know this conversation should be kept to a minimum if she was smart. 

"Alex," her mother tried. "This family has been ripped apart enough." 

"Yeah?" Alex snapped. "And just who is to blame for that?" 

"You can't blame all of this on me!" Marylyn barked standing up. Alex head turned slowly. It reminded Gavin of Linda Blair in the Exorcist. He was sure it was going to do the full turn. 

"I can't?" Alex scoffed once she leveled her mother with her angry eyes. "Shall we tally up the score on who is responsible for what?" 

"Alex," Gavin's voice was one of caution. 

"Fuck that," Alex hissed at him. "She deserves all the guilt she is feeling!" Gavin shook his head at her. 

"You want sympathy?" Alex asked her mother. "Try your Goddamn church! It's been your rock...your salvation...your guide! It's led you this far and done such a stupendous job, surely it can give you all the sympathy you need! Not enough? Try the dictionary...in between shit and syphilis!" 

With that she threw open the door and stormed in, slamming the door behind her. 

"I guess you should be made fully aware of just exactly what you are marrying!" Marylyn said dropping her head and wiping a tear with a shaky hand. 

"I know exactly who Alex is, where she has come from and where she wants to go," Gavin assured her. "Love is the great detective, it makes you seek." 

"Love," Marylyn spit out. "Sin." 

"Only in your eyes," Gavin said calmly. "Love is the eminent domain of God...you know that...it is a blessing only he can bestow. The devil has no concept of love, his only concept is misery...betrayal...hatred...anger." 

"Or don't they teach you that at your church?" Gavin asked her as he made his way inside to make sure Alex wasn't throwing a major temper tantrum. Marylyn sucked in a breath at the verbal punch Gavin threw. It struck a painful nerve. 

He found her in the kitchen putting away the groceries she had just bought. 

"Between shit and syphilis?" he asked her covering his smile with his hand. "I haven't heard that since junior high!" 

It was a short knock on her somewhat childish behavior on the porch. She stopped what she was doing and stood there. 

"I'm sorry, I was so pissed I couldn't think straight!" she told him. "I said the first thing that came to mind!" 

"Shit and syphilis," Gavin said again moving up behind her. She could feel his barb. 

"Kiss my ass," she said defiantly with a soft huff of a laugh. 

"Hmm," he said nuzzling her neck. "Is that an official offer?" She barked out a laugh and put her arms around his as they encircled her. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"No need to apologize," he told her squeezing her tightly from behind. "But know this...hatred will devour you...it will consume you whole and taint everything you touch. At some point you will have to forgive." 

"Forgive her?" Alex scoffed. "After what she has done?" 

"If you don't," Gavin began softly. "It will not only consume you...but it will also consume Nora. She doesn't deserve to begin her life with that much hatred!" He pulled his arms from around her and left her there in the kitchen. 

*** 

Marylyn walked into the hospital, she figured if Alex was at the house it would be a safe time to see Al. To try to salvage their marriage. Pushing open the door she looked in on him, he had a private room now. Now longer in the ICU, which made her happy. In ICU she wasn't allowed to see him because she wasn't on the list of allowed visitors. That had cut her to her very core. She wasn't allowed access to her own husband. 

When she asked who had told them that, she assumed either Gavin or Alex had made the request as she hadn't. The nurse apologetically replied that Al had. The number of visitors was strictly followed as they didn't want Al to get overworked and upset. Now in a room, there were no lists to adhere to. 

Al turned his eyes from his book to her, looking at her over the rims of his glasses. 

"Hello," she said to him, closing the door behind her. "You have a private room?" 

"Yeah," he said gruffly pulling his glasses off. "I didn't want it, but Alex is hard to argue with. I was hoping Gavin would help out but he didn't. He said he liked to pick and choose what fights to lose." Al smiled and set his book to the side and put his glasses on it. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked him sitting in a nearby chair. 

"Like I had a heart attack," Al said dryly. 

"Al," Marylyn began to break down in tears as the emotions swept over her. "You have to forgive me!" 

"I don't have to," he told her. "You want me to, I want to...but I don't know if I can." 

"It wasn't my fault!" she tried again. 

"It was," Al told her sharply. "Livy was so fragile, I thought her divorce alone would break her, but she managed to squeak through...then you decided to push her even more! First with the ignoring her, treating her like shit. Then concerning yourself with Don over your own flesh and blood!" 

"I know that wasn't because you liked him better or you thought he was right," Al told her. "But more because that is what your precious church thought was right, and in turn, it would look better on you." 

"You didn't care about what was best for Livy," he continued harshly. "The child we created together. A child that should never have to doubt her parent's love!" 

"I never meant to hurt her!" 

"What did you think was going to happen when you told her that she was responsible for my heart attack?" he asked her in disbelief. She sucked in breath, she didn't know that Al knew about what had happened before Livy fled the hospital. If Al knew, then Alex most certainly knew. Now she truly began to fear, the slap across the face may only be the beginning. She tried to maintain her stance, to trust her faith and Rev. Sellers. 

"The sin of divorce brought the devil...," 

"Save that shit for Sunday," Al cut her off. "I don't buy it for one second!" 

"Rev. Sellers...," 

"Ha!" Al barked out. "The man is a charlatan!" 

"He is our preacher," she corrected. 

"No, he is yours!" he countered. "Your church!" 

"Is all I have left evidently!" she said to him becoming more and more resigned to the fact Al was going to continue his stance on the marriage. 

"Yes," Al said softly causing her heart to break as he told her the worst possible news she could think of. She was hoping he would correct her and say that their marriage wasn't wrecked, but evidently Al had other thoughts. "I warned you, time and time again, you chose to not heed my warnings. You chose to push me aside for the teachings of your church. You chose to destroy your relationships with two daughters and your husband. All for your church." 

"Keep in mind, my love, this is the same church that abandoned Livy when she needed it most. The same church that ridiculed her, hounded her and blamed her when she lost her marriage," Al continued to hammer away at her. 

"What are you saying?" Marylyn asked him with a quaking voice. 

"What are they going to do to you, when you lose marriage? I mean if they turned on Livy because of her divorce and she had a good reason to divorce that piece of shit...how are they going to treat you when your marriage ends and you don't have the excuse of infidelity?" 

"You aren't going to go through with that!" she told him. "Al! Thirty years of marriage! Do you know how that will look?" Her brain scrambled at the idea of what the church would say, she knew what they would say! She had been a part of the little circle of people that would stand around and ridicule others. She was one of those that shunned members who went against the church belief at Seller's suggestion. 

"See?" Al asked her, bringing her back from all that the members would do to her. "What is the first thing that popped into your mind? It wasn't thirty years of love, like I have been thinking. For you it was thirty years of marriage, and then the thought of how that would look...you are so vain! Only caring about appearances in your church!" 

"Please!" she begged. 

"Please what?" 

"Forgive me!" 

"Like you did Livy? Like you did Alex?" the words caused Marylyn to clutch her stomach. If she had eaten anything that morning it would have come up by now. The pain of what was happening pounding her like a heavyweight fighter, with bone jarring, breath taking blows that made her ache from every angle. 

"I have done nothing to either of them! They chose their lives!" Marylyn tried to defend. 

"You haven't done anything to either of them?" Al repeated. She shook her head. "Should I ask Alex, or Andromeda?" 

"What?" 

"Did you think you could beat Alex and there would be no repercussions? That I would never hear of it? That Alex would forget it? Is there anything in her childhood that indicated Alex had a short memory?" he asked her. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Oh my God! You beat her for her art!" Al suddenly raged, running his hands over his tray and knocking the items on it to the floor in Marylyn's direction causing her to jump. "You beat her and beat her...and beat her! Then, you had the nerve to wonder why she ran away so fast? Why she doesn't come home? Why she will probably never forgive you?" 

"I only did it because she was doing pornography!" Marylyn defended. 

"You are completely clueless!" Al gasped. "What you call pornography...the rest of the civilized world, including me, calls art!" 

"That picture she drew was magnificent! You wondered how she got into one of the most prestigious art schools in the country without us having to pay a penny? It was because of the pornography you detested so much! That one picture had the Director of the Metropolitan Museum of Art singing her praises! A man that would know art from pornography! To this day, he still has her drawing on his wall!" 

"Art is a gift from God and Alex has it in spades!" Al told her sitting up his voice rising. "Let's compare lives shall we?" 

"Alex, has found a man that loves her, she is successful in her art. She has friends that support her, friends that came from Chicago to be with her in her time of need. How many friends did you have from the church? She is utterly happy! Are you saying all of that is the hand of the devil?" 

"How about you? Your marriage is nearly dead, you have a daughter who refuses to talk to you...one that takes her own life and a granddaughter who hates you! You have nothing...that's what God gives?" 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 39



"If that is the case, I'll take the devil!" Al finished as the nurse came in. 

"Al," the nurse said firmly coming in and picking up the items Al scattered on the floor as she walked towards him. "You need to calm down, you have all my monitors going bonkers out there!" The nurse looked to Marylyn as she sat there crying. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave!" 

*** 

Chapter 55 

Wednesday night bible study came and Marylyn had to force herself to go. She just wanted to crawl under the covers and never come out. She hoped that going into the church she could draw some strength off Rev. Sellers and the other members of the church. 

She knew they wouldn't turn on her, she was doing everything to save her marriage so she wouldn't be judged harshly for that. Al's nonsense about turning on Livy was wrong because Livy wanted the divorce, she was the one that instigated the proceedings. The church stood behind Don, and they would stand behind her as well. She just had to stay true to the church and Rev. Seller's teachings. 

"Marylyn!" Rev. Sellers began happily. "I'm so happy you came tonight! I know you have plenty of reasons to stay home, but in times of need, the church is where we should turn for strength!" Sellers put his arm around her and guided her into the sanctuary and sat her down in the back. 

She thought this was odd as she normally sat in the front. The closer to the front, the more favorably Sellers thought of you. Sitting her down here was an awful blow of what little happiness and hope she had left. He sat next to her and leaned into her confidingly. 

"I just want you to know," he said holding her hand. "We are all behind you...you just have to be strong!" She smiled and nodded. 

It was good to have him on her side, perhaps the seating arrangement was for expediency. It was near the back of the church where everybody entered. He could talk and support her in her time of need and still greet the others when they arrived. 

He patted her hand and stood when the next set of parishioners came in. The problem was, he never came back. He left her there, and when Krista and Brandy arrived he pointed her out and smiled at them, they then sat with her. 

"What's with the last pew?" Brandy asked her mother immediately. Humiliated at the last pew designation. 

"Oh," Marylyn tried to cover her pain with a smile. "Rev. Sellers asked me to sit her so he could talk to me, support me, while he greeted the others!" Brandy and Krista both nodded but looked to one another and frowned. Their good standing in the church taking another blow because of a family member. 

They watched the other church members come in, none seemed to lend their support with kind words. The most they got was a hello or a short smile while they walked away from them. The only problem was, they couldn't tell if the smile was for comfort and strength...or ridicule. 

The service was about how the church needed to organize an outing to protest the local high school having a selection of books that Rev. Sellers had deemed inappropriate. He railed on about a series of child wizards and teenage vampires tempting the impressionable children with devil inspired themes and wayward love. He wanted the church to come up with protest ideas for both the school and the school board meetings. 

At the end of the service, the congregation milled around as they normally did, talking and sharing a laugh. Marylyn floated on the edges, no one outright ignored her, but no one came to her to lend their emotional support either. Something Marylyn found heartbreaking. Al's and Alex's words coming to her in a haunting fog of remembrance. Krista and Brandy ducked out early, citing family commitments which left her alone. She stood around the corner leading to the commons room, out of sight. 

"I can't believe she came tonight!" a woman said in a small group. Rev. Sellers amongst them. "Did you hear that Al is firmly committed to divorce?" The group gasped. 

"See, this is what happens when you let your children live with the devil!" Sellers pointed out. "Marylyn lacked the conviction of making sure her children were brought up correctly!" 

"I used to think she was a terrific mother!" came another lady. "I mean the youngest can be understood...but two? I would never stand for it!" 

"Agreed," the group nodded. 

"Stay true to the teaching," Sellers told them. "Children brought up with a firm hand and the Bible turn out to be good people...those that haven't the strength to discipline their children and bring them up in the church, should never have children!" 

"Rev. Sellers," one of the group leaned in quietly. "Why did you officiate Livy's funeral? I mean she lost her soul the moment she cut her wrists!" 

"As God's chosen representative here on earth he told me to do so...I don't question Him," Sellers explained in mock humility. "But she is truly a waste of time! I could have been doing something more important." 

"I heard she was going to Catholic Church in Averin!" another chimed in. "Maybe she was being molested by the priest!" This brought a soft chuckle from the group. 

"No," Sellers stopped them. "Livy was a girl...not a little boy! Another religion claiming to be Godly when the world knows that they are in bed with Lucifer! I mean really...a Pope?" 

Marylyn sat stunned at what was being said. They were tearing her to bits! She didn't know the church knew about Livy at St. Mary's, another blight on her. She could understand some of the people in the church turning on her, but Rev. Sellers? Her spirit was crushed! She choked back the sobs from around the corner and began to make her way out of the church. 

Descending the steps towards the door Rev. Sellers stopped her with his voice. 

"Marylyn!" He called out. Marylyn thought about pretending not to hear him and continuing on out, but she worried about what would be said about her about that! So she stopped and put on her best smile and turned to him. 

"I'm glad I caught you!" he told her. "I know times are hard, but I noticed that your weekly donations have dropped." 

"I'm sorry?" Marylyn asked. 

"I know that is surely just temporary," he smiled. "You have always been so generous but as you know, God has commanded that a tithing be made...I hope that will be rectified soon? We have many projects going on here and need the financial support if we are to win the battle we talked about tonight!" 

"I have been giving the right percentage," Marylyn told him. "But before I combined both Al's and my income...with Al and I being separated...," she let that hang there. 

"You need to keep the idea that you and Al are married," Sellers said firmly. "If you don't then that's how the devil wins...by slipping through the cracks of doubt!" 

"Of course," Marylyn agreed, shocked and dismayed that during her time of need he was complaining that her offerings were less. 

"Perhaps even a generous donation like Don would help in the eyes of the Father," Sellers suggested. "It has kept him the good graces of the Church." 

Marylyn could only nod. That's why the church was behind Don? Because he made a donation? He bought their loyalty? Marylyn smiled and left Sellers in the hallway. Just outside of the church she vomited. 

*** 

Royce walked into the apartment with a slam of the door. Elizabeth went to the submissive position immediately and waited. He blew out a breath when he turned the corner and saw her. 

"Good evening Master," she said to him with her head down. 

"Good evening, my slut," he said back, coming up and standing in front of her. She lifted his hand and kissed it as she had been instructed. 

"My father is coming to dinner," he announced. "Make yourself presentable." 

"As you wish," Elizabeth told him. "Any special requests?" 

"No, you know what he expects," Royce told her. "As much as I prefer you like you are." He smiled looking at her naked body. 

"Thank you, Master," she smiled. "I was hoping you would find me desirable and we could play." 

"Perhaps," Royce smiled. "After my father leaves." 

"Thank you Master," Elizabeth rose and Royce stopped her from leaving. She smiled coyly at him. "May I serve you Master?" 

"I'm unsure if we have the time," he smiled. 

"I'll make it quick," she smiled at him dropping back to her knees and began to pull down the zipper on his pants. 

She looked up at him as she reached into his trousers and pulled his cock out. Maintaining eye contact with him, she slowly let her tongue pull his cock into her mouth. The feel of its heat against her wet tongue made her smile. 

She suckled it for a few moments as it built up its strength. Growing in her mouth, slowly but firmly as she brought him to full strength. She began to bob her head on his thick cock as he gasped with every deep throat she made. 

She pulled off and let a string of saliva hang there, connecting her mouth to his cock. The string being pulled to the floor by gravity but before it broke she slurped it back into her mouth as she took him deeply in her throat in one motion. He began to slide him hips back and forth and helped her along by fucking her mouth. 

She pulled off again, but this time he gruffly stood her up and bent her over the arm of the couch. She smiled at the aggressiveness as he pushed her legs apart and forced her open with his hands. 

His face buried into her, his tongue snaking its way into her darkness, causing her to gasp at the feel. He sucked her labia into his mouth and then released it, over and over, before thrusting his tongue into her. 

He stood and let his fingers slide into her opening her up. 

"I wish I had more time but I don't know when he is going to be here," Royce growled as he pushed his cock into her with a sudden thrust. 

"That's what I need!" Elizabeth called out. "Fuck me!" 

Royce smacked her ass as he thrust into her. First one side then the other. Alternating sides until they were both a rosy red, all the while, he hammered his cock within her. Its width pushing her pussy open and forcing the sound of her excitement to fill the air. The scent of their sex wafting around them. 

Royce reached out and pulled on Elizabeth's hair, causing her neck to crane as he continued to slap his groin into hers, the sound filling the room. 

"Fuck me, fuck me! Take your slut!" Elizabeth called out. 

Royce released her hair and took hold of her hips and used them to bring himself deeper with her. The couch digging into her as he plowed mercilessly into her. Royce watched her buck against him, her face reddening as she came on him, the feel of which had his own orgasm approaching. 

"That's it my little slut," he said to her. "Cumming on your Master's cock?" 

"Yes Master," she gasped. "You feel so good!" 

"So do you," he said as he pulled her hair again causing her body to curve backward as he held her there and pummeled away at her sex pushing her into another orgasm. With a growl he erupted into her mixing his seed with her orgasm, he suckled on the back of her neck as he did so. He released her and she collapsed on the couch, her body bent on the arm as he stood there, his cock implanted in her. His cum leaking out the side of her sex, dripping down on the floor. 

"God you are fucking fantastic!" he complimented. 

"You bring it out of me," she smiled. 

"We should clean up," he told her with a disappointed exhale. "My father will be here shortly." 

"Yes, Master," she smiled as he pulled out of her. 

"Stay just like that a moment," he told her. She obeyed. "I like to watch my cum leak out of you." 

*** 

After showering, she found Royce already at the table with his father. He gave her a curt nod and Royce indicated she should sit across from him. She did so with a soft bow to him with her head. 

"I think we need to go through how we plan on working this," Royce's father said looking over Elizabeth carefully. 

Limon Rentrom had been a member of the Senate for the better part of thirty years. He had accumulated a great deal of power in that time, and although he had thought of running for President many times, many people in his party believed he was better suited where he was, much to his disappointment. 

After thirty years of doing what the party wanted he was now going to be able to get some of the things he wanted. He was too old to make a run at the White House on his own, but he could use his power and favors to push his son to it, where he would be his son's Chief of Staff. Royce would of course do his bidding, so he would be the puppet master he had always been, only this time he would have the most powerful puppet in the world. It was the same, wasn't it? 

He felt his son's choice of women was adequate for a bachelor, beautiful women, young, fit and sexy. Good for fucking. Not so good for the appearance they needed to portray but he was hoping he could solve that tonight. 

"What are you thinking?" Royce asked. 

"Well, I'm not completely sure your choice of a wife here is what we are looking for," he put out bluntly. 

"Father," Royce blew out a breath. "Elizabeth is going to be perfect...she is a former lobbyist who has contacts that might help us. She knows how Washington works...she will be a great asset!" 

"I have doubts," Limon told him still going over the woman at the table. 

He could see what he son saw in her, she appeared to be quite fuck-able, she had a great ass, nice tits and a tight body with curves. But to win the White House you didn't need fuck-able, you needed matronly. You didn't need a Marilyn Monroe, you need a Jackie Bouvier. You needed a woman who was attractive but not too attractive. She needed to be elegant and demur, not a porn star. 

"But, if this is your choice then I guess I have very little say," Limon finally exhaled disappointedly. 

"Very little," Royce told him. 

"Be careful boy," Limon said sharply. "I can always endorse your cousin." 

"I'm just saying," Royce backtracked. "I love her." 

"Love is the last thing we need," Limon said disgustedly. "We need cooperation, we need someone who can charm. We need someone who can look the part of a good woman." 

"She is more than capable," Royce said firmly. 

"Ok, but I remain unconvinced. If this is your choice she has to change her appearance," Limon said looking her over, causing Elizabeth to keep her eyes down to keep from showing her disappointment of his opinion of her. 

"She kind of has a Jackie Kennedy look," Limon evaluated. "But the short hair makes her look like a dyke or a bitch...either one is unacceptable. She needs to look motherly." 

Royce nodded as his father looked at her and continued his demands on her appearance. 

"Perhaps, it might even be good if we sped up the wedding, that way she can get pregnant quickly," Limon thought. "That way if the polls don't like her we can spin it to where she wanted to stay and take care of the baby...it would bring in the mother vote. Showing she is trying a balancing act, but decided family should come first. That would help with the conservative family vote." 

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Royce agreed. "Then if the poll likes her, we can hire a nanny to help and that would look good too...working woman and all that!" Limon nodded. 

"Do you have a job yet?" Limon asked her. 

"No, Sir," Elizabeth shook her head. "I can't go back to lobbying because it would look bad...too much influence, the liberals wouldn't like that." 

"Try to not think too much," Limon told her. "Just let us do the thinking...I'll pull some strings and get you a job at an advisory board. What was it you did before you left?" 

"Environment," she told him, holding back the sting of his comment about her thinking. She was quite adept at thinking. She was quite adept at playing the game in Washington, having had to play it for years as a lobbyist. 

"Oh God! Could you have picked something a little less worthless? I mean Jesus! From here on out, let us make all the decisions. I will put you where you will do the least harm!" Limon groused, stabbing at his food as he grumbled under his breath. 

They went back to eating as Limon looked through some emails on his phone. Tossing his napkin down twenty minutes later, he stood. 

"Alright," he announced. "I'll get her a job, she will grow her hair out and look more presentable and less like a bitch. From this point forward, after the announcement that I'm retiring and Royce is taking my seat you guys will have to work harder at looking like the President and First Lady." 

"That means," he scowled. "The drugs stop." 

"Father," Royce began. 

"Shut the fuck up before you piss me off!" Limon barked. "I know you are both doing it...but it fucking stops! The press would eat us alive if even a whisper of your bullshit got out!" 

"We don't," Elizabeth tried. 

"Again, try not to think, and for the love of God, unless you are sucking cock, keep your mouth shut!" He barked buttoning up his suit jacket. "I have a handler for you, nothing gets done without running it by him. Royce meet Walter Oslo tomorrow, he will be your Senatorial Chief of Staff." 

"I was thinking...," Royce began 

"What did I just say?" Limon cut him off. Royce nodded but his face shaded red in anger. "Don't fuck this up, you only have one shot at this, the history of those who run for the White House and lose is murky! Very few seem to be able to recover from a defeat...and you are no Lincoln." 

Limon left the couple sitting there, both stewing in their anger at the words he just spewed on them. 

Later in bed, the idea of a session was out of the question. They both sat there staring at the ceiling. 

"Why does your father hate me so much?" she asked him. 

"My father hates everybody, don't take it too personally," he said to her without looking at her. 

"Are we going to have to put up with that forever?" she asked him. 

"No," Royce laughed. "Once I win the nomination, I have arrangements where the party will push him back and we will get our own ideas!" 

"What?" 

"Oh yes," Royce smiled as he nodded at his little secret. "He thinks he is using me, but I'm using him. I need him, of course, for his Senate seat. Once I have that he will fade away and I will begin to glow brightly! Then once he uses his contacts to get me the nomination...the party will push him off." 

"Can they do that?" she asked with a smile, happy that was going to be the case. 

"They have been doing it for years!" Royce smiled. "Let's just say, there are people within the party that know where the skeletons in his closet are!" 

"How would they know that?" she asked thinking of Limon's squeaky clean image. 

"I'm the one that told them," Royce laughed. "I know where are the proverbial bodies are buried!" 

"Like?" she smiled as she rolled over and pulled the sheets down, taking him in her mouth. She found he liked to talk, and sucking his cock made him run off at the mouth. 

"The cousin he referred to?" he asked as he gasped as she showed off her oral skills. 

"Mmmhmm," she said never removing her mouth. 

"More like half-brother!" he laughed. She looked up and held his cock there as he looked down at her. He nodded. 

"That's right," Royce smiled. "My father fucked his brother's wife and got her pregnant!" 

"No shit," she smiled. She went back to sucking. 

"That's not the only dark secret my father has, I have several things that will make him shut up!" Royce said forcing her head down faster and faster as his orgasm built. She let him use her, using her mouth to collect his cum as he shot a limited amount there. It was small and easily swallowed. 

"If you have all that," she said taking a drink of wine from her nearby glass. "Why don't we just push him out now?" 

"Again, perhaps you should follow my father's advice and not think," Royce scoffed. "If we push him out now, his seat is tainted, therefore it taints me." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 39



Elizabeth said nothing as she laid there, her mouth filled with the bitter taste of his insult and his cum. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 40



Chapter 56 

"Hey Trouble and Trouble Jr," Al smiled at the two girls as they entered the hospital room. 

"Just remember, there are two of us and only one of you!" Alex warned him with a smile. Nora climbed up on the bed and kissed him. 

"How are you feeling today Grandpa?" she asked him as she pushed her hair back with her fingers and a slight tilt of her head. 

The simple gesture made Al blink his eyes quickly to keep the tears back. How many times had he seen Livy do that same gesture over the years? Hundreds? Thousands? It was so subtle, so quick, but the soft gentle way she pushed her hair back reminded him instantly of Livy. 

"I'm good," he said, recouping his voice after a few moments of it being stuck uneasily in his throat like a kernel of popcorn. "I feel like I could wrestle an alligator!" he teased her. 

"Grandpa, you are so silly! An alligator would eat you!" she said laughing. 

Her laughter carried and Al looked to Alex who seemed to be seeing the same things. Little mannerisms that Nora picked up from her mother that no one noticed until recently. Now they were on display for all to see. At least those who were still coming to grips with the fact Livy was gone. 

"Hey!" Trevor announced as he came in. 

"Hey," they called back as a collective. Alex steeled herself and waited for his mother, Krista, to come in, but she didn't so she looked to Trevor. 

"I had a friend from school drop me off," he explained her questioning eyes. 

"Ah," Alex nodded, thankful that Krista didn't come. She didn't want to argue today, she didn't want her father to become aggravated either. So having just Trevor was good for keeping things light. 

"I do have some things to tell you," Trevor said with a mischievous flick of his eyebrows. Alex cocked her head. Obviously it was going to be good but he wouldn't say in front of Nora. 

"Where is Gavin?" Al asked. 

"Back in Chicago," Alex frowned. 

"That makes sense," Al nodded. "You guys have a lot of wedding stuff to put together, or is mean old Queen Madelyn handling all the details now?" He teased tickling Nora. 

"The wedding," Alex frowned. Al snapped his eyes to her. "It's been postponed." She said carefully. 

"What?" Trevor and Al said at once, shocked that the one happy thing they had going in the family right now was now cooling off. 

"Well," Alex shrugged. "We thought it was best, so you can concentrate on getting better and I can concentrate on Nora a little. You know, new school and things like that." 

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry I have wrecked everything!" Al groused, his anger weaving into the words. 

"You haven't wrecked anything," she assured him. "We just need to take care of some priorities." 

"Your wedding should be a priority!" Al told her. She shrugged. 

"It's not off, just pushed back," she told him. "Don't go getting up panties in a bunch!" She smiled at him, using one of his favorite sayings to her when she was growing up. She didn't know how many times he had thrown that statement at her, but she was sure she heard it at least once a week. 

Walking down to the cafeteria with Trevor for coffee she was dying to hear what he had to tell her. As soon as the elevator doors closed he turned to her. 

"You ready for this?" Trevor asked with a broad smile. 

"Yes," she smiled, smiling because he was. 

"Mom, Aunt Brandy and Grandma had back pew designation Wednesday night!" Trevor announced happily. 

"No shit," Alex gasped. 

"You know what that means?" Trevor asked her. 

"I grew up in that church, I know that is not a good thing!" Alex nodded. 

"I know I shouldn't be happy about it," Trevor frowned. 

"I know the feeling," Alex agreed. "Aren't you relegated to the back as well?" 

"No," Trevor grinned. "I usually sit with my friends elsewhere...we are counting the days until we pull our Alexandria." 

"Your what?" Alex asked. 

"Our Alexandria," he smiled sheepishly. 

"Explain," she demanded. 

"You are a legend in our church," Trevor shrugged. 

"What?" she scoffed. 

"Yeah," he nodded. "Our parents have told the cautionary tale of how you went to Chicago and fell in bed with the devil!" Trevor waved his hands in showmanship fashion. "The only problem with that is, I've been bragging on the fact you found a great guy, have made tons of money selling your art and did a mural that the entire world was blown away by!" 

"Ginny," he smiled. "That's my girl, she even went online and printed out pictures of you standing by your mural from an online paper...we then stuck them in every hymnal!" 

"Oh man you should have seen all the faces on everybody when they opened their hymnals to sing and found you staring back at them! The so called devil's puppet from Chicago!" Trevor laughed. "Worth every minute of punishment they hit us with when they found out we were involved." 

"What happened?" Alex asked, shocked that her nephew had gone through with the practical joke. Not so shocked they were punished for it. 

"We had to clean the church for like two weeks," he shrugged. "Just gave us more time to plot our next act of rebellion!" 

"Oh man," she shook her head. "I've inspired monsters! Funny as hell monsters, but monsters nonetheless." 

"We like to be called your minions," he corrected. 

"My minions!" she laughed. "How did your mom respond to being banished to the back row?" 

"Oh man," he shook his head. "She was humiliated! Ducked out of church right after service, ranted and raved like a clucking chicken at home! I bet she starts to shun grandma next!" 

Alex looked to the floor. She thought of how her mother must feel. To have her idea of what was her rock crumble under her like sand in an on rushing tidal wave. What would her mother do now? How would she handle the new banishment to the back? A small part of her felt sorry for her mother. To have something you believed in ripped from you was a hard thing to handle. She knew this because she had her mother ripped from her by Rev. Sellers' beliefs. 

*** 

"Good morning Jack," the priest called out to him. 

"Morning Sy," Jack said not taking his eyes off the pond. 

"Nice out here this morning," Sybian said to him. 

"It is," Jack agreed with a nod, but still not looking at the psychiatrist. 

"How did you sleep?" Sy asked him. 

Jack shrugged and shook his head. Sleep? He wasn't sleeping, if he slept he had dreams about her. Dreams no priest should have. At least if he was awake she would keep her clothes on. 

"You know, you are only hurting yourself here, I could prescribe something," Sy offered. 

"No, no pills," Jack said firmly. 

"Alright," Sy shrugged. "So, are your dreams still sexual in nature?" Jack nodded. It took a few therapy sessions before he finally admitted to Sy the nature of his dreams. It took a few sessions more to reveal his feelings for Livy. 

"I should just drop the collar," Jack told him. 

"Let's not go there just yet," Sy suggested softly. 

"Sy," Jack said gasping in disbelief. "I'm having dreams of a woman that...I shouldn't be thinking of her that way!" 

"Love is a curious thing," Sy shrugged. 

"Love?" Jack asked. 

"Jack," Sy exhaled deeply. "You fell in love, that is not a crime...its most definitely not a sin!" 

"I'm a priest...I'm her...I was her priest," he pointed out sharply, correcting himself in mid-sentence. "I made a promise to God!" 

"A promise you could have kept," Sy suggested with an upward shrug of his shoulders. 

"How do you figure that?" Jack snapped, his lack of sleep making him edgy and irritable. "I took a vow of celibacy!" 

"Jack, you were called to God, but that doesn't mean you have to serve him in a priestly capacity! You could have stayed with the church, married Livy and still maintained your calling," the man told him. "Our Father called you to do His work, He didn't say 'Jack become a priest!'" Sy smiled as he dropped his voice to a deep baritone for the last part. Jack shook his head. He wished he could smile. 

"How do you figure?" 

"You could have done marriage counseling, it would have been beneficial to you to have a priest background but be able relate to them as a married man," Sy pointed out. 

Jack sat back and thought hard on that. 

"You received a call to serve God," Sy said standing up. "How you serve Him, is what you have to work out. That may mean giving up the collar, it may not. But one way or another, God will tell you what He wants you to do." 

"What if He isn't listening to me anymore?" Jack asked him. 

"He listens to all the prayers," Sy said calmly. "But you know, as well as I do, sometimes the answer is no." 

Jack leaned forward and put his face in his hands. That's the problem, He said 'no' to the one prayer he wanted more than anything. The prayer to save her life. To keep her in this world. Not only for Nora, but for him as well. 

The soft scent of her perfume wafted around him and he looked up to see her by the pond, squatting to look at the baby ducks there. She looked over at him and gave him a half smile. He smiled back at her and she blew him a kiss from the ends of her fingers. 

"Livy," he said to her as she walked away. "I miss you so much!" She looked over her shoulder at him but continued walking until she was nothing more than the soft wisp of the morning fog. 

*** 

"Hello you evil Bitch," Gavin said lovingly as he kissed her temple. He made his way to the seat next to her at the table. 

"How is Alex doing?" she asked him immediately pulling her glasses down and setting the newspaper to the side. 

"About like you would expect," he told her pouring himself a glass of wine. 

"What kind of answer is that?" she barked testily. Gavin sighed, he should have known that Madelyn wasn't going to except anything less than a complete answer. 

"She puts on a great front," Gavin told her. "She appears so strong on the outside...but at night, I hear her crying." 

"So what are you doing about it?" she asked. 

"There is no medical cure for a broken heart," he told her. "All I can do is hold her when she lets me, take care of Nora when Alex is crying and keep my shit together." 

"I'm so proud of you," she smiled taking his hand. 

"Why?" he asked incredulously. 

"Do you realize how far you have come?" she asked. He looked at her blankly. "Sweetheart, you have changed dramatically since the beautiful Miss Alexandria came into our lives!" 

"How do you figure?" he asked smiling. 

"For one thing, you're smiling," Madelyn pointed out. 

"I smiled before," 

"No," she disagreed. "This smile is happiness, the other was a mask to cover your loneliness." 

"Get a grip," he laughed. "I've had very little time in between subs to be lonely." 

"I don't care if you had a hundred women at the same time," she said sharply, showing this wasn't up for debate. "You were alone until Alexandria." 

Gavin shrugged as he took a sip of his wine. He felt different now, that was for certain. This relationship was different. Not only in the fact he was getting married, but it was the fact he didn't like being away from her. 

It wasn't a possessive need, but one of feeling out of place when he wasn't by her side. If felt like a major piece of him was gone. Like a recent amputee, you feel the appendage there, but it's not. Your eyes look, but can't come to grips with the fact it's not there and you feel a little lost and dismayed. 

"When are you going back?" she asked him. 

"Not soon enough!" he lamented. "I have a couple appointments in the morning, then I will head back after that." 

"Do you want the jet?" she asked. 

"No," he told her. "I'm taking the Aston back, that way I can stop flying back and forth." 

"You could use the jet, then you wouldn't have to fly into Pittsburgh all the time, you could fly into Averin, it's closer and Alex won't have to drive as far," Madelyn suggested. 

"It's an idea," he said with furrowed brow. He rubbed his face with a tired hand. 

"Looks like you could use a good night's sleep," Madelyn pointed out. 

"Sleep? What's that?" Gavin teased. "I'm fine." 

"Still thinking you are Superman?" Madelyn asked with a shake of her head. 

"No, I'm SuperDom!" Gavin joked. 

They began eating and Madelyn watched him, his whole demeanor was exhausted. His eyes heavy, his body not a sharp, his shoulders slightly slouched forward. His forearms resting on the edge of the table. Everything about him screamed exhaustion. 

"Charles?" Madelyn said when he came in. "Make sure Gavin's room is ready, he will be staying here tonight." 

"I will?" Gavin asked with a slight uptick smile. 

"This way I can have you for breakfast too," she smiled. "No sense in wasting time driving into town." 

Gavin knew better than to argue with her. Not with the tone she was using. It was demanding and forceful, something he had grown accustomed to over the years. The motherly way she doted on him, always watching out for him. 

"How are you adjusting to the idea of having a child in your condo?" she asked him. 

"Again, I know nothing of kids," Gavin prefaced. "So I don't know what to expect. I'd like to prepare...but I don't have the first damn clue." 

"And seeing how you are a man that likes to have everything planned out, how are you handling that?" she laughed. 

"Not well," he admitted. "Still wondering how we handle our lifestyle with a child." 

"I don't think it will interfere that much," Madelyn told him. 

"Yeah?" Gavin coughed out. "She was at our place over the holidays...it was hard to do anything. She interrupted an extremely passionate moment at least once. It was hard to keep things on the down low." 

"How?" 

"We thought she was going to walk in on us," Gavin explained. 

"That is why they make locks!" Madelyn laughed. 

"I know," he laughed with her. "But sessions take time, you know that." 

"During the day?" Madelyn half suggested. "While she is at school?" 

"Sure," he agreed sitting back and crossing his arms across his chest. "Let's have a schedule for it, hey Beautiful, I have time between 9:15 and 10:45...," Gavin shook his head as he mocked talking to Alex to the side. 

"It doesn't have to be like that!" Madelyn told him with a laugh. 

"No...but it does kind of kill some of the spontaneity. It means that I can't have her when the mood strikes. I will have to factor Nora in everything now," Gavin shrugged. "Again, I don't like to share...and I'm going to have to share." 

"I like the fact that Alex and I can just go when the mood strikes us," Gavin sighed. "I like the idea of not having plan out babysitters and Nora if I want to take Alex on an island getaway again," Gavin told her. "I know its selfish...but our life is going to change...maybe for the better but it's still change and you know how well I like that!" 

"So what are you going to do?" she asked him. 

"What choice do I have?" Gavin fired back. "I have to adapt." 

"You don't have to," Madelyn smiled knowing better. 

"The other choice is losing Alex," Gavin replied anyway. "And that is completely unacceptable." 

"The father?" 

"Unacceptable," Gavin told her firmly. 

"Why don't you just admit it," Madelyn told him. She knew what was really bothering him, but she had to pull it out of him. If he didn't admit it to himself, it would fester and not be addressed. 

"Ok," he griped dropping his fork. "I know I'm a selfish prick for saying this but, I know deep down, if she had to choose...she would choose Nora over me." 

"What?" 

"If I would have said, I don't want Nora or even if I suggested we think about not taking Nora...I would lose Alex," Gavin told her. "As a Dom I have been accustomed to having been the one in control...with Nora, I lost some." 

Madelyn sat there looking over her glass at him. 

"I know, I'm a fucking selfish prick," he admitted aloud. 

"No," she disagreed. "Just interesting. I've not seen you out of your element before. Never seen you uncomfortable." 

"Not very flattering is it?" Gavin admonished himself. 

"I don't now...I'm not in your shoes, I don't know how I would react to being pushed to the back a little with a child," she told him. "As women we have a biological and a psychological need for children." She went back to her dinner. 

"I've just never had to look at it from a man's point of view," she admitted. "How does a husband, who is used to having his wife all to himself, handle the fact her attention is now going to be split in between them and probably, whether she wants to or not, it will not be split evenly but favor the child?" 

"And rightfully so," Gavin admitted. 

"I imagine it's also tougher with the fact that the child isn't yours," Madelyn shrugged. "I mean Alex has a biological link...even though it's as an aunt. You have no vested interest." 

"I have Alex, which means I'm fully vested," Gavin corrected not liking the tone of the conversation anymore. 

"Not the same," she told him. "Have you mentioned any of this to Alexandria?" 

"Not the time for that," Gavin told her. "First I have to decide if it is going to be a problem. If I can't adjust." 

"Time is a luxury a parent doesn't have," Madelyn pointed out. "Time to leap." 

"Fuck," Gavin growled as he returned to eating. 

*** 

Sunday came, Marylyn was anxious as to how this day was going to go. She walked up the steps nervously and pulled open the door. Rev. Sellers was talking to a just arrived group of parishioners. She waited in line, when one of them turned and saw her behind them they tilted their head for the other's to go. It was as if she was a leper now, people uncomfortable just being in her vicinity. 

"Good morning Marylyn," Sellers said with a smile as she moved up. 

"Rev. Sellers," she smiled her best smile trying to hide the pain she was feeling. 

She looked into the sanctuary and saw Krista and Brandy back in their normal seats near the front. She smiled. She was right, it was just a one-time thing. She then saw the group that was standing in front of her sit down in the same pew as her daughters, taking up her spot. 

"I'm glad I have a moment to talk to you!" Sellers smiled taking her hand in his and leading her into the sanctuary. "Oh my, it looks like your pew is full! Oh well, this is open," he said as he sat with her. In the back pew. Her heart was crushed by this. 

"Any seat in the House of God is a good seat," he winked at her. 

She knew this to be a downright lie! He had once given sermon deriding those who sat in the back of church as 'hiding from God'. So she knew that was a line to make her feel better. A mask of the true intention of this spot...banishment. What hurt the most was that her daughters didn't protest that she needed a spot in which to sit. They allowed the group to take her spot without so much as a whisper of a protest. 

"I was wondering if you had a chance to think about what we talked about on Wednesday?" he asked her. She knew he was talking about the money. This smacked her across the face harder than physical slap Alex had done in the hospital. 

He didn't ask her about how she was doing. He didn't ask her about Al, or how they were doing with their sorrow of losing Livy. He didn't ask if she was needing anything! The only thing he brought up, was the money. 

"I really haven't had the chance," Marylyn lied, trying to keep her tears at bay. "With Al's surgery and extended hospital stay...I'm sure money will be tight." 

"Don't you have insurance for that?" Sellers asked her. 

"Yes," she told him. "But it doesn't cover everything. Let me talk to Al, I'm sure I can do something that will make amends." 

"Good, good, good!" Sellers smiled. 

He got up and left her in the back pew. She looked around the church and saw everybody was looking straight ahead, none looking around. Her eyes landed on Trevor and he looked to her. She smiled at him, a mask against the tears. Trevor looked away and she looked down. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 40



Trevor scanned the church, he saw his mother and father in their normal spot, but now his grandmother's spot was occupied by other people. The shunning begins, he thought to himself. This angered him, his parents hadn't learned a damn thing he barked inwardly. He dropped his head and shook it angrily. 

Marylyn sat there, silently clutching her bible. The one time salvation held within the church now lay beyond her reach. Now she felt what Livy had felt. The isolation, the desolation of solitude. She remembered Al's harsh words about how the church shunned Livy, but what was worse was the people she absolutely should have been able to count on, her family, shunned her as well. She felt her heart break with the knowledge that was now happening to her. 

Now she began to fathom what Livy had felt. Now she felt what drove her to her end. It was that empty feeling she now had in her stomach. Utter loneliness. Standing alone in a crowd of uncaring, unfeeling, self-righteousness. The tears were unstoppable. 

A strong hand softly picked hers up and held it. She looked up and found Trevor sitting next to her, a young girl next to him. Marylyn blinked back her tears as she looked to him. He winked at her as the sermon began. Marylyn felt the warmth of salvation, she was saved at the last minute by love. The tears flowed and Trevor wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in to hide the tears from the rest of the church. He felt they didn't deserve to see her at her lowest moment. 

She did not hear a word of the sermon, the voice of Rev. Sellers she listened to so intently for a near lifetime of Sundays now a soft drone. A fly buzzing in her ear. She didn't realize the sermon was over until Trevor stood, then the sounds came back. 

"You ok Grandma?" Trevor asked her. She took him in an embrace and held him tightly and he reciprocated. 

"Thank you Trevor," she whispered in his ear. 

"For what?" 

"A lesson I needed to be taught!" she smiled as she leaned back and smiled at him, softly touching his face. "Now, who is this very pretty girl you have?" Trevor looked at her for a second processing what she just said. He smiled. 

"This is Ginny," he smiled. "My girlfriend." 

Ginny looked to him surprised he said it to his grandmother who everyone knew was against young people dating. She had heard the woman rant and belittle those who allowed their children to date without the parent's direct approval. She also knew this woman set up her daughters with their husbands. All but the 'Legend' anyway. 

"Hello Ginny," she smiled as a tear came down her face. Her body warming. "You have picked a good one! Not many men in this building are as good a man as my grandson." 

"I know," Ginny agreed apprehensively. Waiting for the reprimand, the fire to explode from the holier than thou Marylyn Lasko. 

"Well," Marylyn smiled touching Trevor's cheek again. "I should go." She turned to leave. 

"Grandma?" Trevor stopped her. She smiled. 

"It's really quite exceptional," she interrupted him causing him to tilt his head at her. 

"What is?" he asked her. 

"Love, you two treasure it," Marylyn nodded. "I love you Trevor." 

"I love you too Grandma," he choked out. Ginny put her hand in his and squeezed. 

"You take care of my grandson, he is precious," she said to Ginny. "And worthy of a great girl...I can see great things in him. Things I need to learn." With that she spun away to hide the tears from the rest of the church. Tears they didn't deserve. 

*** 

Alex carried Nora up from the car, the small girl snoring softly against her, her gentle breath warming the side of her neck. She laid her new charge gently in the bed and carefully took her shoes off of her. Alex then sat on the edge of the bed and watched the young girl sleep, it seemed to relax Alex watching the girl. 

Slight movement from the corner of her eye caused her to turn quickly towards the door. The smile broadened on her face as she saw him there. 

"I thought you were coming up tomorrow?" she said softly. 

"I know," he replied. "I couldn't stand the idea of going to bed alone again. I guess you have spoiled me." 

She got up and made her way to him and gently kissed his lips. Softly at first, then harder as the sudden passion exploded within them. She pushed him from the room and he spun her and pinned her against the wall. He took hold of her hands and slid them up until they were above her head as he began a long, slow nibbling of her. Starting with her lips, moving down from there. 

Down her cheek to her jaw line, his teeth gently nipping her flesh. Her eyes fluttered closed as he did this, the embers that she had forgotten about in all this sadness erupted like a fading fire that someone threw gasoline on. 

She tried to drop her hands to him but his grip tightened when she tried to free herself from his hands that held hers above them. She smiled, the Dom she so needed was here. Lost was the helpless feelings she had been enduring. Livy's death, her father's heart attack, her mother's shunning, all moved to the background. Now that she was within the safety of her Dom's vicinity, she was free. Free to be without decision. Free to respond with whatever he evoked from her. 

No more worry, now only response. Response to his lips on her mouth, her tongue dancing and twirling without confinement of heartache. Response to his hands, the one that pinned her to the wall, the other that was softly running his fingers across her body causing it to ripple with pleasure. 

Gently he slid into the top of her panties, pulling her underwear gently from her body as he slid beneath them like they were a hot sheet. His fingers going maddeningly slow across the soft flesh of her Venus. His fingers gently finding her heat and rubbing the outside. But what she wanted was him on the inside. She hadn't realized how neglected they had been, but now, with his hands on her, she realized just how much she was missing. 

Gavin dropped down suddenly, releasing her hands but she held them there knowing that's exactly where he wanted them! He yanked suddenly on her panties ripping them from her body causing her to yelp as the flash of pain ripped through her as easily as her panties were ripped from her. He tossed them aside, and she realized, the wolf had come from Chicago. 

He wasn't gentle. His mouth devoured her like he hadn't eaten in days. His mouth everywhere at once. His tongue pushing and prodding. Forcing little gasps of pleasure with each jab of his tongue. He let one hand climb up her body to squeeze her mound of flesh, he held one and it served a dual purpose, the first was the pleasure it evoked as he held her firm breast within its grasp while his thumb and forefinger pinched her nipple through the thin lace of her bra. 

The second was the control he had over her with it. He had her pressed against the wall with his grip, her mouth opening slightly as he continued his assault on her sex with his mouth. His talented tongue working her as only he could. Her mouth opening wider and wider as her body responded to him. 

He stood up suddenly and covered her widening mouth with his, before she even realized he had left her dripping sex. Her hands dropped to the back of his head as he kissed her so hard she thought they would meld into one. 

His hands wrapped into her hair and snapped her head back with a sudden yank. 

"No," he commanded, his eyes flashing at her. 

She instantly put her hands back up above her head, her hands now bound by invisible rope. Her smile faded into a passionate gasp when his teeth began to bite and suckle her neck. Causing her flesh to redden under the semi-hard biting. 

He pulled off of her and looked her in the eye before drifting over her face and down to her neck to see the effects he was having on her. Her rapid breath, her hardening nipples. The red marks from his mouth. The lips of her mouth slightly puffed from his hunger. His hand came up and took her gently by the throat, what was once a menacing gesture to her, was now a cocoon of safety. Like a wolf pup safely within the sharp jaws of its mother. Fierce and protective when they had to be, soft and loving when needed. 

He pulled her gently from the wall, her hands moved behind her without being told, either by him...or her. He led her to the bedroom, pushing her backward as he followed her. Their eyes never leaving each other. Her eyes finding what she so wanted...no what she needed she decided. 

The back of her legs hit the edge of the bed and they both stopped. Still staring at each other she never felt so desirable. It was the way his eyes took her in, like looking at her was a command he couldn't resist. 

With one hand still around her throat, his other hand came up and cupped her face, his thumb resting on her lips, dragging across them as she parted them slightly. His thumb dipped into her open mouth and she nipped it gently. Pulling a smile from his concentration. She couldn't stop her own wicked little smile from coming out. 

He ran his index finger down her chin and his hand on her throat moved to the side as they began to work in a concerted effort of immense pleasure. His thumbs joined as he ran them down and carefully gripped her around the center of her throat. Her eyes told him all he wanted to know, no fear in them. Trust built on love. 

His hands moved from their hostile position, down they went, his thumbs breaking at the notch at the base of her throat. His fingers touching her molten skin covering her heart that was beating like a jackhammer in her chest. His eyes left hers as he watched his hands touch the most beautiful thing they have ever had the honor to feel. 

Around the edges of her dress lapels that folded over one another forming a "V" that connected to a row of buttons that went all the way down to her belt line. The left side of his smile ticked up sinisterly and she smiled when she recognized it. Oh yes, the wolf was here! 

With a sudden show of strength and speed that surprised her, the buttons of her dress exploded off their threaded binds as he ripped them apart with his hands. The shiny bits of plastic showering into the darkness of her old room, the only remnants of them was the sound of them hitting the wood of the floor with a rattle. 

His eyes lifted from his destruction of her dress to her eyes and found her biting her lip. 

"That's mine," he reminded her in a near snarl, she released her lip just in time for him to crush them with his mouth. With a gentle suckle he pulled the lip from its position against her teeth. His eyes never broke from hers. He let it go and it snapped back into place. 

His hands began to rub her newly available flesh, running his fingers up to her shoulders pushing the destroyed front of her dress off her so that the tattered material hung just above her elbows. Now she could only watch, now she was no longer a participant in this sexual conquest, but a voyeur in the scene. Unable to stop him, not that she wanted to. 

She watched his eyes inspect her flesh, the uptick at the corners of his lips told her all she needed to know. He was pleased. His hand went flat against her hot skin in an attempt to touch more of her, his fingers sliding gently under her shoulder strap of her bra, he pushed it off her shoulder. First one, then the other, until they too were draped around her elbows. His hand slid under her breasts and pulled them from her lacy enclosure. 

He was on it instantly, like a cat pouncing on a mouse. The suddenness causing her to gasp audibly. His teeth snapping on her passion hardened nipple. As he pressed into her she dropped her head back and her back began to arch, leaning back as he marked her sensitive flesh with his suckling. A good girl mark before they even got going! 

Her hands came up to help her balance as the pressure he was placing on her had her bent backwards enough she felt like she was going to fall away from him, and away from him was the last thing she wanted right now. 

He eased back slightly pulling her nipple with him causing her to clamp her lips shut to keep from yelping. He released the swollen nipple at the apex of her elasticity. 

"No," he said firmly, his voice borderline harsh. 

His hands pushed hers from his body and behind her where they were locked in a steely grip. He easily held her wrists within one of his strong hands. His other came up and continued to explore her. Pinching one nipple, twisting it clockwise until she could stand the sharp pain no longer and right before she cried out he released it, flooding the sensitive piece of pleasured skin with blood once again. 

He repeated the procedure with the other nipple, his wolfish smile out for her to see his pleasure. Enjoying the torment of her delicious flesh, her passion. Enjoying his passion on her. With a subtle growl he devoured her nipple again, sucking it forcefully as his free hand squeezed the soft mound around it, holding her firm breast tightly and squeezing so hard the pain brought her pleasure. 

Suddenly he was fully on her, she hadn't even realized she had flopped onto the bed, her head spinning in the heat of the moment, her hands pinned beneath her. Now the wolf of her love had both hands free to play with her. She arched her head back as he began to devour her other breast. One hand squeezing it as the other had done before. 

Now his free hand plunged without notice or concern for her comfort into her sex, causing the sudden flush of heat to explode within her body as his fingers ripped into her deeply. His strong hand gripping her sex as he plunged his long fingers into her repeatedly. With his weight on her she couldn't arch but that didn't stop her body from trying, pressing tightly into the heat of his body. 

His fingers continued plunging into her like a piston on a race car engine, fast and hard. His palm slapping her clit with such a force that the sound filled the room. Her body responded quickly, a clear sign they had neglected one another. Her rapid response had her holding her breath. 

"May I cum Sir?" she asked, remembering at the last minute. 

"Absolutely not!" he growled while her flesh was still in his mouth. 

The vibrations of his voice rippling across her nipple. Whimpering escaped from her as he not only continued his rapid plunging into her soft wet sex, he increased his speed and his depth, daring her to disobey. She twisted her head to the side and bit into the covers there, her teeth gnashing on the soft comforter. 

"Please sir?" she begged. She was met with silence. Not the answer she was looking for. Her teeth grinded on each other, the comforter trapped in between. 

"Please?" 

"No," his voice was shaking. Very unusual she knew. The calm gone, now it was replaced by the shaking passion of the moment. 

He slid from the bed, and stood between her legs, slowly pulling his soaking fingers from deep within her. She was finally able to release the soaked comforter from her mouth. He slid his arms under her thighs, his fingers hooking the top of her hips as he yanked her closer to the edge of the bed. 

Lifting her legs up and over his shoulders he wasted no time in burying his face into her, tasting the sweet nectar only Alexandria could produce. He lifted her bottom half off the bed, leaving only her shoulders and head on it, her neck bent forward forcing her chin into her chest as her breasts followed gravity and dropped towards her face. 

He pulled her body to him, like he was holding her tightly within a passionate kiss, only this kiss was inverted. Her ass against his chest, her legs around his head, his face and talented tongue deep within her egresses. Her face reddening as he attacked her with a ferocity he only allowed himself on rare occasion. 

Soon she was cresting again, his arms tightening around her like a python around its prey, squeezing her tightly to him so he could devour her from the inside out. 

"Please Sir?" she pleaded. She felt like she was the only one stopping a cattle stampede. Her orgasm was coming and she was doing her damndest to keep it from happening but she knew that the neglect, coupled with the passion meant that stopping it was going to be an impossibility. 

Again he said nothing, instead growling as he continued to rip her sex apart with his tongue. Pulling her hard into his mouth with his lips and suction. His arms adjusting but pulling her back tightly to him. 

"OH MY GOD! PLEASE SIR?" She begged. 

"Don't you fucking do it," he commanded, making her cry out into the comforter. His assault on her tasty hot lips never wavering. Her body shaking as she found the euphoria of her orgasm. It started in her toes, moving to her calves, causing them to tighten around his back. Her thighs were next, squeezing around his head until her thighs muffled the sounds around him. 

He felt her stomach harden to a rock as she fought her orgasm, causing him to snicker within her. He watched her hands twist into the covers as she wrapped them over and over trying to keep the inevitable from exploding without permission. 

"Fuck, fuck, FUUUCCCKKK!" She gritted though her stuffed mouth. 

"NO," he growled. 

The next sound was a soft scream into the covers, one of blissful frustration. His sinister side enjoying the torment. Her mind was splitting, part of her was screaming to continue to fight it off, the other screaming to fucking forget it and turn it loose. Consequences be damned! 

"Now," he barked. "Cum for me!" Within seconds she filled his mouth and coated his face with a powerful orgasm that had her reeling to catch up with it. The trickle of the massive orgasm remnants dribbled down her pelvis to her stomach in a warm sticky stream. 

All of her muscles released at once, making her body jelly like. She could no longer feel her legs, but Gavin didn't slow his assault on her. Once she released the chewing of the comforter he dropped her legs from him and flipped her over causing her to grunt at the force. 

He yanked her back to where he wanted her positioned, her hips bending at the edge of the bed. Her legs dangling helplessly. She was too exhausted to look back, but she heard his clothing quickly being ripped from his body. The buttons from his shirt joining hers in the darkness. It caused her to smile wickedly herself. The controlled, so out of control. 

Her hands slid back over the bed and back over her ass, pulling herself open, inviting him to choose his destination. She hoped for the taboo, and only fleetingly worried about their lack of lube. At this point she didn't care, she wanted his release to equal hers and the one place she knew that would happen for sure, was deep within her ass. 

She chanced a look back at him and found he had gripped his rock hard shaft in his hand and was staring at her. His eyes one of debate. She silently pulled for the wolf. 

She was only minutely disappointed when his cock plowed into her pussy causing her to scream out into the bed. The massive steely feel of him deep within her caused her body to respond with a sudden burgeoning of another powerful wave of an orgasm. This one a Poseidon sinker, daring to flip her orgasm over and over. Releasing it, never to be reined in again. 

His hands gripped her hair as he twisted it within his fingers, pulling her head to the side but he couldn't kiss her lips because they were still holding the comforter tightly between them to keep from letting the passion she was feeling fill her childhood bedroom with the sounds of her pleasure. 

So he bit and suckled her available flesh, reveling in the soft salty taste of her skin. The force of his thrust causing them both to grunt at the power. His hips unmercifully pounding her ass cheeks, the grinding of his cock deep within her brought a sharp pain momentarily at the depth in which he was reaching. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 40



It left as quickly as it came, only to return when he buried his cock head deep within her. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt him this deep...was it that night in the Drake Hotel? Not since then had he been this out of control. She reveled in it. 

With a sudden fury of driving hips she rocket to her next orgasm, her hips lifting when they could to grind up into him. With a sharp quick painful thrust he buried deep within her as his teeth marked her again on her back as she felt his cock erupt within her depths. The soft jerk of his cock not waning after three or four shots, but continuing, flooding her with his seed. The hot liquid filling her with a feeling of elation and satisfaction as he collapsed on top of her. His full weight on her. 

She released the bedspread from her teeth. 

"Thank you, Sir," she whispered. "I needed that." 

"All I needed and all I will ever need...is you," he whispered in her ear. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 41



Chapter 57 

"These sessions are going nowhere!" he raged suddenly, standing up and walking to the window. 

"Jack," Sy said patiently. "These things take time." 

Jack had been on his sabbatical now for three weeks. He was still no further along that he was when he got here. He was still dreaming of her...sexually. He was still seeing her daily. 

"Sy," Jack exhaled as he leaned his head against the glass of the window. "I don't think this is going to work." 

"It will work if you forgive yourself," Sy told him. 

"I don't deserve it." 

"Then I'm going to have you committed," Sy said forcefully. 

"Why?" 

"Because, I have seen the look in your eye before," Sy told him. "When you finally give up, you become a danger to yourself." 

"Tell me you haven't thought about it," Sy dared him. Jack said nothing as he closed his eyes. 

"Do you think I was wrong to give her absolution?" Jack asked him. 

"I'm not that type of priest," Sy pointed out. "It's a judgement call, suicide is a mortal sin. There are those in the church that believe there is no absolution for it." Jack nodded that he understood that. 

"But here is the rub," Sy said sitting forward and putting his notebook down. "As a psychiatrist I look more at a person's inner workings. In my studies I know there is a psychological term call 'suicide by cop'." 

Jack returned to his seat and sat down. 

"What does that have to do with me?" Jack asked him. "I'm not going to run out and have a cop shoot me...I couldn't live with the fact that cop would have to deal with the knowledge he killed someone." 

"No," Sy said with a smile. "My point is this, even if someone else is the reason for your death, is it still suicide if you do something that is going to ultimately lead to your death?" 

Jack shrugged as he looked at him as he had no idea where he was going with this line of thinking. 

"In medical terms, yes, it's still suicide, hence the term," Sy told him. Jack nodded that he agreed. 

"Well, put that in our line of work," Sy suggested. "Do we give absolution to him? If he did something he knew someone else would be required to kill him? Granted he didn't physically take his own life...but he caused it to happen. Is it a technicality? Do we grant him in his time of need a chance to meet his maker with a clear conscious?" 

"God I wished you would speak English so I could understand," Jack grumbled. "I'm too damn tired to play mind games." 

"Then this will absolutely blow your mind," Sy told him. Jack sighed as he didn't need his mind blown right now. He needed sleep, days upon days of sleep. "Walk with me on this...does the church consider suicide by cop a mortal sin?" Jack nodded. 

"Why?" 

"Because to do anything that you know will result in your death is suicide, the fact you didn't do the actual physical part of your death is irrelevant...it's the frame of mind. You wanted to die," Jack told him. Sy chuckled and stood up. "What?" 

"Frame of mind? What was Livy's frame of mind?" Sy asked him. 

"Regret," Jack told him softly. "Remorse." 

"So, isn't that frame of mind more important?" Sy asked him. "If frame of mind is important, shouldn't that be the only thing we consider?" Jack nodded. 

"Now add this little nugget to your already scrambling brain, is it any different from somebody who rides a motorcycle recklessly and gets in a crash that he knew was bound to happen sooner or later," Sy continued his head aching line of thought. "Do we give them absolution?" Jack nodded. 

"Why?" Sy asked him. 

"He didn't know for certain, that his actions were going to result in his death," Jack told him wearily. 

"So that's the line?" Sy asked him. "Certainty?" Jack nodded. 

"Then, by that same thought process...Did Christ commit suicide?" Sy asked him. 

"Are you out of your mind?" Jack gasped, his brain screeching to a halt at the most absurd question he had ever heard. 

"Did He not do things He knew...certainly...would end in His death?" Sy asked. "Did He not know that His death would occur with His actions? Yet He still went through with them. So in that same frame of mind, when the Romans, or cop in our case, had to kill Him...and He knew that was going to happen for a certainty...is that not suicide by cop?" 

"It's not the same," Jack laughed without any sense of humor. 

"Who decides that?" Sy asked him. "Christ knew His teachings would lead to His death...a man comes out of his house and threatens a cop with a fake or unloaded gun...the end result is they both knew how that was going to end. They actually wanted it! They both embrace it...one becomes our Savior, then other burns in Hell for a mortal sin." 

Sy opened the door and began to leave. 

"You know if the Church hears your theory there, you are going to have a lot to answer for," Jack laughed. 

"We will all have a lot to answer for," Sy told him. "Even Pope Francis...but the good news is, the Righteous will do it. So I leave you with this tender little nugget...did you, in a woman's most horrible moment give comfort because you rested her soul with absolution, thus saving her from a mortal sin? Did you do your duty to save those who wanted to be saved?" Jack sat there, his mind slipping gears as he tried to process that. 

"But in the end, that's not what's bothering you," Sy pointed out. "Whether you were right or wrong about giving her absolution...I mean really, the only thing you can do is say some magic words, but ultimately, in the end, the Lord grants or doesn't grant absolution." 

"No, the real problem you must answer is, do you deserve absolution," Sy finished. "Until you make that decision, until you decide if you deserve or even want to wear that collar...it will still feel like shackles around your neck." 

Jack sat there in the room looking out the window for a few minutes. His mind was tired. His body was tired. His clothes were baggy on him from his weight loss. Walking outside he decided to go for a drive into town for a distraction. 

It was an hour before he realized where he was going, he knew it when he saw the cemetery. He had subconsciously driven to her. He sat in the car for a good twenty minutes before he forced his feet to move and got out and walked to her grave site. The grass just beginning to take root, the grave was becoming green with it, less brown. 

He walked to a nearby tree and sat down under it. He wanted to sleep, but instead he stared at the only thing left of Livy, her headstone. He lowered his head and tried to block the visions of her in his waking dreams. 

The soft smell of perfume had him lifting his head, expecting to see her haunting form yet again. But it wasn't her. He watched the woman stand there after placing flowers at Livy's grave. Lost in thought. Lost in the emotions. The tears falling softly down her face. She looked just as tired as he felt. 

Part of him was angry, knowing what this woman before him had done to Livy. He blinked away the tears only to find Livy standing just beyond the headstone looking at him. The woman's head bowed as she cried hard, silent tears. 

Livy intimated with her head her demand he do something for the crying woman. Her eyes widening, reinforcing her demand. He shook his head at her, refusing to provide any comfort for her mother. 

Livy stomped her foot petulantly and pointed to her mother, her body doing something he had never seen from her. Demand. He rolled his eyes and lifted his tired body from the shade of the tree. Livy crossed her arms across her chest angrily as she scowled at his slow approach. 

"Mrs. Lasko?" Jack croaked out. 

The woman jumped at the voice from the silence of the serenity surrounding them. 

"I'm sorry," he said apologetically. "I didn't mean to startle you." 

"No," she shook her head and wiped her tears. "I just thought I was alone." 

"Yeah," he smiled. "I thought I would be too." 

Marylyn looked at him, it took a few moments to recognize him. 

"I'm sorry," she gasped when she realized who it was. "I didn't recognize you without your collar!" 

"Yeah," he frowned. "I'm kind of on a sabbatical." He explained as he touched his bare throat. 

"Why?" she asked. 

"Doubt," he said simply. 

"Because of what happened?" she asked him turning back to the headstone. 

"Yes," he admitted. 

They stood there saying nothing, the silence killing them both. He looked to Livy who rolled her eyes angrily. He shook his head. What did Livy want from him? Did she want him to do the impossible and give comfort to this woman who was directly responsible for Livy making the choices she made? There was no way that was going to happen any time soon. 

"Well," Jack said finally when the silence could be bore no longer. "I'll take my leave of you." 

"Thank you," Marylyn whispered. The tears returning. 

Jack turned and took two steps before opening his eyes. Now Livy stood in front of him. Her eyes angry, her face hard. 

"She needs you Jack!" Livy told him. 

"I don't care," he replied. 

"Liar," Livy countered. "Of all the people that need Father Jack back, that woman needs him the most!" 

"I can't," he whispered. "I hate her." 

"That's my mother!" Livy growled. "Show her what I fell in love with! Your heart, your love...your compassion!" 

Jack turned and slowly walked back to her. 

"Did I do this to her?" Marylyn asked him, knowing he came back to her. 

"It's hard to say who is to blame," Jack said softly. "Are you to blame with your words and your belief? Or am I to blame with my lack of a decision and my absence?" 

"I don't understand," she told him. 

"Neither do I...some things can't be explained," he told her. "I was with another of my congregation...celebrating the life they brought into this world. When Livy needed me the most...I wasn't there." They stood there quietly for a few moments. He behind her watching her body shake with her tears. 

"I'm so lost!" Marylyn finally admitted. "I have no hope of being found!" Jack looked to the God he felt had forsaken him. Looking for answers. 

"The most important thing," Jack said with a deep exhale. "Is to not let Livy's death be in vain." 

"What?" 

"On many of our conversations," Jack told her. "We talked about you...your church." Marylyn closed her eyes. Her former church. 

"She was so worried about you," Jack admitted. "That you were being led down the wrong road." 

"She was right," Marylyn cried out. "I was so blind...I was so foolish!" 

"The great thing about going down the wrong road," Jack said softly. "Is once you realize it's the wrong road, all you have to do...is turn around. Once you have accomplished that impossible feat, walking back is easy." 

Marylyn's shoulder heaved as she cried. With every ounce of available energy she had, she turned to face him. With an uneasy step she closed the distance between them. Jack did the rest and pulled her into an embrace and let the woman sob into him. 

"Welcome to the path of redemption," Jack whispered into her hair as she clutched him like a frightened child. His tears dropping into her hair. He looked up and saw Livy smiling at him. A soft bright tear streaking down her face. 

She wiped it clear and blew him a kiss from her fingertips, the smile bright and happy. 

*** 

Marylyn sat at the table with him, his face scruffy with his beard. His face tired and hollow. 

"I didn't think it would come to this," she told him. 

"How could you?" he asked her. 

"I thought my church was Christianly," she whispered. 

"It's not the church, it's the leader," he told her. "But there are more churches, with better leaders." 

"So often we ridiculed others that left for another faith," Marylyn frowned at his suggestion. 

"Why does one faith have to have a monopoly?" Jack asked her as he sipped from his coffee cup. "There are those in my faith, Catholicism, they also feel that only we will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. God doesn't say that! All He says is those that believe in Him, shall not parish but have everlasting life!" 

"Is it that simple?" she asked him. 

"You think that is simple?" Jack laughed. "To believe in something that you have no tangible proof of? Only a feeling you get when He touches your heart? And the rest of the world ridiculing you for believing in some magical invisible being? That's simple?" 

"Then how do we do it?" Marylyn asked. "How do we find a church that's right?" 

"By walking into one and listening," Jack smiled. "My family was Methodists...I didn't feel God moving in me there, using me." Jack shrugged when she looked to him. "My father finally sat me down and said 'son, your path may be elsewhere'." 

"So I left, and began walking alone," Jack whispered. "I found a Catholic church in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. A small woman was praying, I sat down in the back. As she was leaving she smiled at me and struck up a conversation." 

"Within that conversation, I felt...moved," Jack told her. "Her passion...her conviction!" 

"When I got home I found a local church and started going...I felt God move more in the short time I had spent in Catholicism than I had my entire life!" Jack smiled remembering the feeling. 

"I realized then, that God doesn't care which house you reside in, it's where your heart is," Jack shrugged. 

"What do I do then?" Marylyn asked him. 

"Start looking for a new house," Jack said firmly. "God will stop you when you find the right one. One that moves your passion!" 

*** 

"Father!" Corrine called out to him as he came into the rectory. 

"Corrine," Jack smiled at her. "Do me a favor, call Sybian and tell him I won't be returning." 

"Are you sure?" she asked him. 

"Yes," he nodded. "I'm not to be disturbed, I have a sermon to prepare and I'm behind." 

"Of course Father," Corrine smiled. 

Jack walked into his room after showering and shaving the scruff from his face. He walked to his dresser and pulled out a shirt and a fresh collar. He put it on and for the first time in a long time. He felt right. 

*** 

Alex sat laughing with Gavin and her father, they were teasing each other mercilessly as they watched the game. The doctors finally clearing it to allow him to watch his Penguins on TV. Tonight they were facing the Blackhawks, Gavin rooting them on. 

"Guys are so silly," Nora finally said as a commercial came on. 

"How is that?" Alex asked her. 

"To get all excited about hockey!" Nora frowned. 

"Sacrilege!" Al exclaimed. "We are going to have to make a believer out of you!" 

"What?" Nora asked him, narrowing her eyes on him. 

"We will have to take you to a live game," Al smiled. "Hockey is much better in person!" 

Nora rolled her eyes showing she didn't believe that. She went back to her book on Alex's IPad instead. 

The door opening had then all turning to see who it was, Krista walked in with Trevor. 

"Cool!" Trevor immediately said. "You have the game on!" He quickly pulled a chair to where he could watch. 

"Silly boys," Nora grumbled as she used her finger to swipe the screen for a new page. 

"Hey," Krista said to Alex. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" Alex rolled her eyes and let out a deep disappointed breath. She stood and replaced Nora from her lap to her chair. Following her older sister out into the hallway. 

"What?" Alex asked. Her anger seeping through the one word warning her sister not to start an argument. 

"Have you seen Mom?" Krista asked, ignoring her sister's anger. 

"No," Alex grunted. 

"Neither have we," Krista told her. 

"What?" Alex asked. "She is living with you!" 

"She was," Krista told her. "I came home Monday and found this note." She said holding it up. 

"What does it say?" Alex asked her. 

"Says she is going to take a few days alone to think," Krista shrugged. "Says not to worry, she will call when she has found some answers." Alex snatched the letter from her sister and read it herself. 

"She didn't come to Bible study on Wednesday," Krista told her. Alex looked at her. Mother always went to church. She could be sick as a dog and she crawled in there. Alex felt a little nugget of concern form. 

"Is this because you guys were banished to the back pew?" Alex asked her loudly. Krista immediately looked to the ground. 

"What?" 

"Last Sunday," Krista began slowly. "We got there early...sat in our usual spot." 

"And?" 

"Mom was forced to sit in the back row...alone," Krista finished. 

"Why?" 

"We didn't save her a seat," Krista said softly. 

"You people just aren't getting it are you?" Alex suddenly raged. "It's already killed one of us...how many more have to die before you idiots get your head out of your asses?" 

"What are you talking about?" Krista asked defensively. 

"All for this stupid fucking church," Alex said shaking her head. "Turn your back on your own flesh and blood. Way to go Judas...be sure to collect your pieces of silver. You might need it when the church turns on you as well...and you will be alone...in the back of the church." 

Alex walked back into the room angrily. 

"What's all that caterwauling?" Al asked immediately when the two girls came back in. 

"Nothing," Alex said sitting down on the bed with him. 

"Alexandria?" Al growled. Alex looked to the bed as she picked up his hand and thought of how to break this to him. 

"Mom is missing," Alex told him softly. 

"I thought she was with you?" Al barked at Krista. 

"She was," Krista assured him. "But she left Monday, left only this note." Al snapped it from her and read it. "She didn't show up for Bible study last night either." 

*** 

The knock on the door was strong and hard. It caused her to jump in her seat. Marylyn got up and walked to the door and looked through the peephole. She opened the door slowly. 

"Mrs. Marylyn Lasko?" The police officer asked her through the crack in the door. 

"Yes," she confirmed. 

"May we have a word?" the officer asked her. She nodded and undid the chain on the motel door and let the two police officers in. Her first thought was that there was complications from Al's surgery and that he had died. That she wouldn't be able to handle right now. 

"Is everything alright Mrs. Lasko?" one of the officers asked as the other looked around the room. 

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Marylyn told him. 

"Your husband called us," the officer told her. "Said no one has seen you since Monday...he was worried about you." 

Marylyn let out a deep sigh of relief. 

"Al called about me?" she asked him when the words clicked. 

"Yes Ma'am," he confirmed. "He wanted us to do a wellness check." The tears welled in her eyes and it caused the officer to look at his partner. 

"I'm fine," she smiled wiping a tear away. "I was just trying to find some answers...alone. It seems a big one just got answered unexpectedly!" 

The officers said their goodbyes and made their way to their police cruisers. Marylyn walked to the bed and sat down. She pulled the phone to her and dialed the hospital. 

"Hello?" Alex's voice came across the line. 

"Alex," Marylyn smiled. "Is Al up for a short conversation...I promise not to upset him and to keep it short." 

"It's Mom," Alex said, her voice distant telling Marylyn that she was holding it out to her father. 

"Jesus Marylyn, where are you?" Al asked immediately. 

"I'm in a motel," she said softly. 

"Are you ok?" he asked the relief filling his voice and the line. 

"I haven't been ok in years," Marylyn admitted. "But I'm working on it." There was a silence on the phone. 

"What can I do to help?" Al offered. 

"Just believe that I know I traveled the wrong road for a long time and I'm trying to find my way back to you!" she said through a cracking voice. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 41



"I'm here," he told her, his own voice breaking. 

"You just worry about getting better," Marylyn told him. "I'll do the rest." 

"I'll be waiting," he said softly. "I love you." 

"I...love...you," she choked out. "Hopefully one day you will forgive me as well...you and Alex and baby Nora." 

"Sounds like you have found some answers," Al told her. Her head began to nod. 

"Yes," she smiled. "Now I have to find the rest of them." 

"Take your time," Al smiled. "I can't run anywhere without everyone yelling at me!" This caused Marylyn to burst into tear filled laughter. 

"Add me to that list," she smiled. 

*** 

Friday afternoon, Alex helped her father into the front seat of her Mercedes. After making sure he was securely in she closed the door and Gavin opened her door and she climbed into the back with Nora. Gavin got behind the wheel of the SUV. 

"Thank God!" Al exhaled. "I've never been so happy to leave a place like I am right now!" 

The group laughed with him. 

"Where to?" Gavin asked. "Home?" 

"No," he shook his head. "Pittsburgh." 

"What's in Pittsburgh?" Alex asked from the back. 

"I told you once," Al laughed. "The Industry Public House, home of the Blast Furnace Burgher!" 

"Sounds good," Gavin nodded. "What is it?" 

"What is it?" Al scoffed. 

"No," Alex said firmly from the backseat. 

"It is only the best hamburger you could ever taste! It shouldn't even be called a hamburger...it should be called a gift of the gods!" 

"No," Alex repeated. 

"What's on it?" Gavin asked him. Ignoring her altogether. 

"Oh man! Only the good things!" Al raved. "Start off with two thick slices of buttery toasted bread served with huge chunk of juicy beef covered in ghost peppers! Slap on a heavy dose of Sriracha sauce, tomato, sweet delicious pig dressed as bacon and top it all off with candied jalapeno!" 

"Damn," Gavin gasped as he smacked his lips at the mere description of the scrumptious sandwich. 

"Better order a pitcher of beer for that boy-o!" Al laughed. 

"I'm up for it," Gavin told him. 

"No," Alex said again shaking her head. 

"Tell you what, one quick stop," Gavin nodded as he started the car. 

"Where's that?" Al laughed rubbing his hands together. 

"The funeral home," Gavin shrugged. "That way you can pick out your own casket." Gavin said dropping the hammer down letting him know there would be no trip to Pittsburgh. The tone of his voice going from motivated accomplice to that of annoyed doctor. "You have got to be kidding me right?" 

"Thank you!" Alex said with a smile. 

"Absolutely not!" Gavin growled. "You are on a strict diet from here on out!" 

"Awe c'mon!" Al whined. 

"No sir!" Gavin laughed. "Alex would kick my ass!" 

"You aren't afraid of her are you?" Al asked him. 

"You're damn right I'm afraid of her!" Gavin laughed. "Keep in mind, she has backup now!" 

Al looked over his shoulder and saw Nora with her arms crossed over her chest like Alex. 

"No hamburgers Grandpa!" she said firmly. "The doctor says so!" 

"Doctors schmoctors!" Al said to her. "I thought you were on my side?" 

"I'm with Aunt Alex, she says they are bad for you!" Nora told him. 

"What does she know?" Al grumbled as he turned back around. "She is marrying a Blackhawks fan!" 

"What was the score of the game again?" Gavin teased. 

"I revoke my permission to marry my daughter," Al said with a smile. 

"Take that up with her," Gavin nodded. Al looked over his shoulder at her. 

"Yeah, not worth that tempest in a teacup!" Al laughed. 

*** 

Sunday came and Jack made his way out to the pulpit. He smiled at everybody who was smiling back at him, thankful to have their priest back. 

"Good morning," Jack said to them. 

"Good morning," the said back to him collectively. He saw his poker playing partners, all there in support of him. Leaving their own church for one Sunday to support a member of the faith. Sybian was there as well along with the Bishop. It appeared all were happy to see him back behind the pulpit. 

Looking around at all the smiling faces he saw her in the back of the church. Sitting where her daughter once sat in the beginning. He smiled at her broadly. He began his Mass. 

"So," Jack said finishing up. "Where do we go from here?" The congregation waited. 

"I guess I should explain my absence," Jack nodded. "I must admit to you, I have been lost." 

"Not lost somewhere in Pennsylvania," Jack laughed. "But lost in here." He pointed to his head. "And here." He pointed to his chest. 

"All of you know by now, the loss in our family," Jack said looking to where he last held Livy. "With that horribly painful loss...I lost my faith." He looked up to find the church hanging on his every word. His tears causing their eyes to tear up as well. 

"What happens when you lose your faith?" Jack asked them. "You look for answers." Jack told them. "But where?" He held up his Bible and smiled. "Here?" he asked the silent group before him. There was a soft "Amen" from one of his fellow preachers. He smiled. It was not something normally said in the Catholic Church, but it was obvious that one of his fellow preachers was into his sermon. 

"But this doesn't have all the answers like we were told," Jack told him dropping his hand. "Hell, it isn't even complete!" he said dropping the book on the altar in front of him with a soft thump for dramatics. There was a soft murmur. 

"We pray," Jack smiled. "But what if, we are so angry with Him, that we can't pray any longer?" Jack tilted his head to the side pointing to the sky to indicate God. "An innocent child died right here," Jack said standing where Livy breathed her last breath. 

"I held her," Jack said looking down at the spot. "She died in my arms." There was a silence that seemed to ring out. 

"I gave her Last Rites. I gave her absolution!" Jack told the crowd. "My Bishop," Jack said pointing him out with a raised hand. "Might tell you that wasn't allowed. A mortal sin cannot be forgiven." Jack nodded as he returned to the pulpit. 

"My shrink on the other hand tells me that absolution is basically some magic words meant to provide comfort. It's the Father, our Lord and Savior, that actually decides whether or not to grant absolution. The Righteous." 

"And I'm ok with that," Jack smiled. "For we all one day, will meet our Father. I will pray over each one of you, I will grant you absolution...but I don't know for sure if you deserve it!" Jack said. "That I leave in the hands of God!" Another soft "Amen" rang out, this time more of the preachers and one or two of the usual congregation joined him. 

"And we are ok with that...aren't we? In the end, we all meet God...we all will answer for our sins. Not I, nor this church nor the Pope himself can look into your hearts the way the Father can. And He will." 

"Are you ok with that?" Jack asked his congregation. "Will you drop to your knees repentantly and beg for forgiveness for the way you lived your life? Or will you drop to your knees...thankful to be in front of the Father?" 

"I will meet my Father with an open heart, with calloused knees from where I prayed daily," Jack smiled. "But I will meet Him with a clear conscious." 

"Not because I'm a priest," Jack laughed. "I'm a sinner, just like you. No, I will meet God with a clear conscious because I have lived my life the way He commanded. I have loved everyone. I have forgiven those that have transgressed me. I have loved unconditionally with all my heart. As the Son commanded." 

"Amen," the congregation said aloud more and more becoming moved with this addition to the Mass. 

"Now I was about as lost and confused as any man could get," Jack told them. "I was shaken to my very core! My foundation! What saved me you ask?" He smiled. "The grace of God. He put someone in my path. Someone that was as lost as I was. Someone who felt as I had felt. Someone who loved as I have loved." Jack shook his head. 

"Oh how I hated this woman," Jack told them, surprising them. So many had looked at their priest as above that. But Jack wanted to point out he was no better than them. That he could have the same emotions, the same sins. 

"See, I unfairly blamed her for where I was. And there she was, right there for me to eviscerate with my hatred!" Jack hung his head. "What did I do?" 

"I held her," Jack told them. 

He made his way back to his pulpit. Jack stood there for a few moments. Just staring at the dark wood grain of the pulpit. Not saying anything, waiting for his composure to come back. Thinking of where to take this group that was hanging on his every word. He was proud that the Lord was again using him for His purpose. It made putting the collar back on worthwhile. 

"I was reminded of the poem 'Footprints in the Sand'," he began again. "You all know it. In the poem it says the man asks the Lord when he was at his lowest why did God leave him. The Lord replies, I didn't leave you, it was then that I carried you. That is why you only saw one set of footprints." 

"I used to think that was metaphorically," Jack told them. "But now I know better. For I saw my footprints...and I knew they weren't mine because I couldn't walk due to the fact I was so low! Then I thought of someone, someone so precious to me that it had me questioning this collar." Jack said pulling on it, admitting it all to those in front of him. Coming clean for the world to see. 

"She too was at her lowest when we first met. But she was carried by our Lord and Savior, carried right through those doors!" Jack said pointing to the back of the church. "He carried her to this pew," Jack said standing next to it, remembering their first conversation here in this house of God. 

"Then, when she needed Him the most, He carried her out the same way. Wrapped in His love, through those same doors. How do I know that?" Jack asked them. "I feel it here." He said tapping his heart. He walked back to the front of the church and stood there, surveying the many tear filled eyes in his congregation. 

"Know this," he said finally. "All of us will meet the Lord. All of us will answer for what we have done." He shrugged. "But the good news? All of us will be forgiven, it only takes the courage to kneel." 

"May the Lord love you and bless you," Jack said to them. 

*** 

Jack shook the congregation's hands as they left. All telling him they were moved by his words. He thanked them. 

"Mrs. Carson," Jack smiled at the elderly woman. 

"I thank the Lord for you Father," she told him. "And I know that Livy is in Heaven as well." Jack looked back one person and saw Marylyn standing there...listening. 

"I remember her coming into my home and helping me after my surgery," Carson said to him. "Good Christian woman, and I agree with you, suicide or not she is in Heaven...tells me she had a good mother!" Carson patted his hand as he held hers. 

"How is that?" Jack asked as he watched Marylyn's lip tremble. 

"Because she was thinking of others before herself," Carson smiled. "You only get that if you are raised right!" Marylyn spun and nearly ran back to the pew she had just left. 

Marylyn couldn't believe the words she just heard. Someone thought she was a good mother? They would surely not say those things if they knew her. Not if they knew what she did to Livy. They would surely change their opinion. Her church ridiculed her. This church, did not pass blame on her. Even though they all knew her daughter had taken her own life. But none held judgement on Livy, none rolled their eyes or elbowed each other in silent disagreement when Jack proclaimed her innocent. Unlike her church and its preacher who thought she was a waste of time. 

"Funny," Jack smiled as he sat next to her. "How one church looks on her as a good Christian woman, raised by a good mother...while another casts blame." 

"I don't understand," Marylyn began. "If that woman knew me!" 

"She would think the same," Jack told her. "Were you lost? Yes." He said definitively. "But like your daughter, the Lord carried you through my door, ironically He sat you in the first seat she sat in as well for her first Mass." Marylyn looked to where she was. 

"In our church, the back pew is for the lost," Marylyn pointed out. 

"How can you be lost, when everybody around you knows exactly where you are?" Jack asked her. "Open your eyes Marylyn, see where God has placed you." 

"It's a place of love," Jack said putting his arm around her. "A place of salvation. A place where no one is lost and the back pew only means you have to listen harder, no judgement placed on you, no shame." 

*** 

Jack awoke with a start. He smiled at her. 

"Thought you had left me," Jack said swinging his legs out to sit on the edge of the bed in front of her as she sat in the chair. 

"I'm never leaving you Jack," Livy smiled. "I will always be here." She whispered putting her hand on his chest. "And here." She said moving her hand to his head. 

"I love you," he whispered. 

"I know," she smiled. "I'm going to watch Nora for a while...but I will keep an eye on you." Jack nodded as she got up to leave. He didn't want her to, now he wanted her to stay. He didn't care if that meant he would be in pain for the rest of his life. 

"Are you in a good place?" he asked her. 

"No," she said softly. "I'm in a great place!" 

"Thank God!" he gasped. 

"No, thank you," she whispered back placing a soft kiss on his head. "Watch over my mom." 

"I will," he smiled. 

"See you on the other side," she said to him. "Work on your poker skills while you can." 

He laid back down with a laugh, and didn't dream of her. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 42



Chapter 58 

Nora set her bag down on her bed as Alex and Gavin set boxes of her belongings on the floor. Nora looked around the room, it was definitely not her room. This room had no posters, no frilly curtains. Blank walls, with vases and blinds on the windows. It was very empty. 

Alex saw her looking at the room and she finally took a look. It was not a little girl's room. She never noticed it before, she always thought it was nicely furnished. The amenities pleasant and comforting...for an adult. For a child, this room would be like living in a motel room. Cold. Uninspiring. Unable to generate childhood comfort. 

"Hey," Alex smiled dropping to her level. "Don't worry, once we get your stuff up, it will look more like a girl's room!" Nora nodded as she sat on the bed. 

"You ok?" Alex asked her. Nora nodded. Alex stroked the sides of her face with both hands. 

"New things are always hard at first," she assured the small girl. "But they can also be very exciting and very rewarding!" Nora nodded. She didn't seem so convinced. 

"Hey," Gavin smiled at her. "What do you want for dinner?" Alex watched the little girl shrug her small shoulders again. 

"I love you," Alex said to her, feeling her disappointment. 

"I love you too," Nora said taking Alex in her arms and squeezing. 

Gavin slipped out of the room to let the girls put her things away, a nugget of sorrow filled Gavin and he hoped it wouldn't linger. He couldn't imagine what Nora was going through. The death of his own parents had been hard enough, but to be Nora's young age would make that even harder. She could use no logic to explain away the emptiness she now felt. No words to console her that her mother was gone and before her time. 

He remembered the sadness of going through the memories of his old house. Nora had to deal with that as a child. He knew she would be damaged from them. He would have to talk to Alex about maybe getting Nora some help with that. Professional help. She would need it to help her make an adjustment to her new world. A world without her mother in it. 

Gavin had ordered cheese pizza, knowing Nora liked that. They sat around the table with the box in the middle silently eating the slices. Alex watching Nora, Gavin watching Alex. The table was silent with just the occasional comment or question on another piece of pizza. 

After tucking Nora into bed that evening, Alex quietly came into the bedroom and Gavin looked up from his book. 

"How is she?" he asked. 

"I really don't know," Alex admitted. "At least in Pennsylvania she had her room to keep her sense of normalcy. Then Mom and Dad's house. Now...I think it really is setting in." 

Gavin put his book down and looked to her. Alex sat there on the edge of the bed with her face in her hands. He could tell she was tired. Stressed. They both were. He was looking forward to getting back to the routine, getting back to their lives. 

"We need to find her a school," Gavin said softly. Alex nodded within her hands never moving them. "Any ideas?" 

"It's not like we have a choice really," Alex shrugged. "I will call the regional board of education and find out what district we are in." 

"We have a choice," Gavin reminded her. "There are several good private schools in the area." 

"Private school?" Alex asked turning around. He nodded. 

"Private schools have a history of better education," Gavin shrugged. "We could get her into a Catholic school...you said you wanted her to stay within the faith that Livy practiced." 

"A private Catholic school," Alex repeated. She didn't like the way that sounded. For whatever reason it sounded stuffy and repressing. 

"Alex?" Gavin drew her attention to him. 

"It sounds horrible," Alex admitted to him. "Nuns with rulers!" 

"Absolutely not," Gavin laughed with a shake of his head. "No nuns with rulers." 

"What's wrong with public school?" Alex asked him. "It was good enough for me...and my father?" 

"It was good enough for me too," Gavin pointed out. "I'm just saying, we have the means to do what we need to." He could see her building up her stubborn streak. 

"You mean you have the means," Alex corrected. 

"Don't do that," Gavin warned firmly. 

"Do what?" 

"Take us backwards," Gavin growled. "We are about to become husband and wife. We are about to share everything. That includes our finances. So what is mine is yours, and what is yours is mine." He let that sink in. 

"I won't have it any other way," he said softer. She looked over her shoulder at him. "We are either all the way in, or all the way out." 

"That sounds like an ultimatum," Alex pointed out. 

"It is," he nodded. "Take me completely or don't take me at all. I don't do halfway." 

*** 

Alex and Nora sat in the office of the nearest private school. Gavin had been called out on an emergency and couldn't go along. That bothered Alex. She needed him to be here now, to help her decide what was going to be best for Nora. She even let her anger flash when he told her he was leaving, something he only stared at her about. But it was enough to cause her to lower her eyes. 

"Good morning!" Came a cheery voice of a middle aged man in a frock. Alex and Nora stood when he approached. "You must be Miss Lasko and Miss Nora?" he questioned with a warm smile. Both of them nodded. 

"Welcome to St. Timothy!" he continued. "Have you been waiting long?" 

"No," Alex told him taking his outstretched hand and shaking it. "Just a few minutes." 

"My name is Father Andor, I'm the Dean here," he told them shaking Nora's small hand. "I'm guessing fourth grade?" Andor asked the girl. She nodded that she was indeed in the fourth grade. 

"How about I show you around first?" he offered. They both nodded. Weaving amongst the children in the hallway as they scurried from one class to the next, Andor explained some of the particulars of St. Timothy. 

"This is the Renaissance Wing," he said proudly as the kids all ducked into their respective rooms at the last chime of the bell. "It's what we call our wing dedicated to art and music." 

"You have a wing dedicated to art and music?" Alex scoffed. "I thought with the whole 'No child left behind' garbage that the emphasis on the arts waned?" 

"We are not a public school, Ms. Lasko," Andor told her. "While public schools struggle with funding for their art programs as they ramp up the intensity of the core curriculum, they have to decide where to put their limited resources. We do not." Alex nodded that she understood. "We have many wealthy benefactors that fund just our Renaissance Wing, hence the name." He winked at her. 

"It is our firm belief that without music and art, a child's mind will not be as fertile, so the Math and English won't take root as well. Music and art make children more well-rounded, better students and happier children," he continued as they watched a class of students using clay for pottery. 

"It is our goal to keep all our students fully engaged all day," he continued as they started walking again. "Art and music give them a time to unwind and absorb culture. Being a successful artist yourself, I'm sure you agree." 

"You know that I'm an artist?" Alex asked him. 

"Yes," he nodded. "I adored your mural!" 

"Oh my gosh!" Alex laughed embarrassedly. "Thank you!" 

"We took our students on a field trip to see it," he continued causing Alex to widen her eyes in disbelief. "They were doing the mural in the play area, I think it inspired them a great deal!" 

"Really? I'd like to see the mural they did sometime." Alex said. The Dean nodded with a smile. 

"Miss Nora," the priest started looking down at her. "Are you an artist like your mother?" 

Alex's mind froze, it was an easy mistake for the man to make. Here she was walking with Nora and they were exploring schools together so it would be natural for him to assume that they were mother/daughter. 

"Oh," Alex frowned looking down to see Nora's reaction to what the Dean had assumed. "I'm not Nora's mother, I'm her guardian, her aunt." 

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry I just assumed," the man gasped. 

"My mother is dead," Nora said coldly. Both adults looked to her and saw the anger. 

"I am sorry Miss Nora," the man said genuinely. Nora wiped a tear away and nodded. 

Alex watched Nora look around keeping her tear filled eyes from them, she refused to look up at Alex and instead stared out the window towards the courtyard. She didn't like the way Nora had said that her mother was dead. It was cold and unfeeling. Angry even. The sharpness of her words cut at Alex. 

Perhaps this transition was happening too easily. The awful truth of the emotions that were churning through Nora were now bubbling through the cracks. Perhaps Gavin was right, it was only a matter of time before the emotions and pain overwhelmed Nora and burst out. 

"Well, do you like art? Painting, drawing, perhaps even pottery?" the man asked the girl. He glanced at Alex when Nora shrugged. "How about music? Do you play an instrument?" Nora shook her head but refused to look at the man, instead staring out the window. 

"Well," the man frowned. "A decision you can make if you decide to enroll. All students here are required to take either an art or music credit." 

The man continued to show the girls around, but Nora only shrugged or gave short quiet answers when necessary. She never showed the personality that Alex loved so much. Moving towards the cafeteria there was the bustle of students again. The soft chatter of laughter as students enjoyed their food. 

"As you can see, we have a full service kitchen. Multiple choices of entrée and sides," he said proudly. "All planned and made here by our registered dieticians. We have vegan meals for those who follow that path, and all meals are well balanced." 

"Wow!" Alex smiled looking down at Nora who seemed uninterested still. "Looks like you won't go hungry here!" she said to her. Nora nodded. Alex twisted a frown. 

Sitting down in the office of the Dean Nora looked around at the many books and antique furniture of the office. She squirmed quietly in the plush chair she was sitting in. 

"Now," the man smiled at them as he folded his hands on his desk. "I'm sure you have questions?" 

"Um," Alex looked to Nora who said nothing. "Tuition costs, I guess would be the first question." The man nodded and slid a piece of paper across the desk to her. Alex wanted to let her jaw drop but she kept her teeth firmly set. 

"Is this per year?" she asked at the astronomical cost. 

"No," he said softly, buffering her surprise. "That's per semester." 

"Oookay!" Alex said trying to hide the shock in her voice. 

"It is very steep," Andor laughed. "But, keep in mind, we do not receive any federal funds. All of our tuition stays in house, it is spent on the kids. We hire only the best instructors. Provide only the very best education." 

"I'm sure," Alex said embarrassedly. "It's just a shocking number." Andor nodded in agreement and smiled as he sat back to explain some of the benefits of that high cost. 

"Our students achieve higher grades on any standardized test. From the ACT to SAT to the periodic achievement tests. Public schools in grade four score 67% at or above average on on standardized tests. We score in the mid-eighties on the same test. By grade 8 public schools hit 77%, we hit mid-nineties. That is at or above the average." 

"In our high school, which is across the street," Andor continued. "The average public school student will get a 502 in verbal and a 510 in math on the SAT. Our average last year was a 549 in verbal and a 567 in math." 

"42% of public school kids continue on to college, 72% of students from a private school go on to college. So you can see we gear our curriculum to prepare students from day one to go to college and succeed. Last year our graduating class was 102, out of the 102, 98 went to college. Of that 98, 17 were accepted to Ivy League schools," he said proudly. "Two went to M.I.T." 

"Wow!" Alex gasped. "You couldn't persuade the last four?" She joked. 

"Some kids are just incorrigible!" he laughed with her. "No, I believe they will go to college at some point, but just not yet." 

"That's amazing," Alex marveled. 

"We are one of the premier private schools in the city, if not the country," Andor continued. "Which is why we are so hard to get into. We have a waiting list of several hundred prospective students." 

"Waiting list?" Alex frowned. 

"Yes," Andor nodded. "But, Dr. Steward is a friend of a very wealthy benefactor here, so we make exceptions from time to time and bump kids to the front of the line." 

"Oh," Alex nodded. Gavin and his position are the reason they were able to even take a tour of a school like this. 

"How about you Miss Nora," Andor asked. "Any questions?" Nora turned her eyes to him and shrugged. "C'mon, you have to have at least one question?" 

"Why does everybody dress the same?" she asked after some thought. 

"Ah!" the man smiled. "We have school uniforms. We believe it helps keep the focus on education, and less on what to wear to school." 

"So I can't wear my own clothes?" Nora asked. He shook his head gravely at her. 

Alex and Nora walked out of the school, Alex tucked her in the car seat and then kissed her cheek. 

"Are you ok baby?" she asked Nora. Nora nodded. 

"Is that going to be my school?" the girl asked her. 

"I don't know," Alex smiled. "We'll have to talk to Gavin." 

"Is it expensive?" 

"Don't worry about that," Alex told her. 

"Why can't I go to a school that lets me wear my own clothes?" Nora asked her. 

"Is that a big deal to you?" Alex asked her. "I didn't think their uniforms were all that bad. Polos and khakis?" Nora shrugged. "I like that they have a big art program." Nora smiled and nodded that she liked that too. 

"Well," Alex smiled. "Let's talk to Gavin, see what he thinks." 

At dinner that night, Nora was still not talking much. Gavin watched her push her food around on her plate for a while before broaching a subject to get them talking. 

"So I stopped by St. Timothy on my way back," he announced. "A whole wing dedicated to art and music?" he shook his head as he said it. 

"I know, that was one of the things we liked about it," Alex nodded watching Nora. 

"Uniforms were a bit of a buzz kill," Gavin continued causing Nora to smile. "I mean, how are you going to wear your Steelers jersey?" Nora laughed for the first time that day. "I can hear your grandpa now...she can't wear her jersey? No way, no how!" Gavin mimicked Al's voice the best he could. 

"It's a bit pricy," Alex pointed out. 

"The scores are worth it," Gavin countered. "Getting into a good college is a big deal nowadays, we need to prepare her for it." 

"She is in the fourth grade," Alex pointed out with a laugh. 

"Well," Gavin shrugged. "The sooner the better." 

"Uncle Gavin?" Nora interrupted. 

"Yes?" 

"Are there any kids in this building?" she asked him. 

"I don't know," Gavin stuttered. "I never really paid attention, why?" 

"I was at the pool, hoping to find someone to play with, but there were only old people," Nora complained. 

"I don't really know," Gavin admitted. "I guess we will have to ask Mike in the morning." Nora nodded with a glum expression. 

They went back to eating and Gavin struggled to remember one kid in the building. He couldn't think of any. It never dawned on him that there weren't any kids, he didn't care. Now with Nora it could be a problem. 

The next morning, as Gavin was walking out to the garage, he stopped by the desk. 

"Hey Mike," Gavin smiled. "Are there any other kids in the building?" 

"Uh," Mike frowned. "No, actually, kids aren't allowed in the building." 

"What?" 

"Well," Mike began apologetically. "This building kind of caters to single people, or older retirees who like quiet. Families don't usually move in here because we have rules that restrict who moves in." 

"No kids?" Gavin repeated. Mike shook his head. "How long do I have before they raise a stink?" 

"Well, there isn't any written rule against kids," Mike told him. "It's just an unwritten one, people move in here because there are no kids to fight with in the pool or gym. No kids running up and down the hallway. No bikes and toys to trip over." 

"Interesting," Gavin frowned. 

"Sorry," Mike told him softly. Gavin shrugged and went to his car. 

*** 

The following week, Alex pulled her Mercedes into the circle drive of St. Timothy. There were security men in bright orange vests directing traffic. Alex pulled up next to one. 

"Hello," he smiled leaning in. "Can I help you?" 

"Uh, it's our first day," Alex told him. 

"Ok," he said opening the back door. "Hop on out young lady." He said to Nora who unbuckled her seat belt. 

"Be sure to put your student placard on your passenger visor," the security man told Alex. "When you pick her up, flip the placard to where we can see it, then we will radio in for your student to come out." 

"Be prepared to show ID for the first couple times," he continued as Nora hopped out. "We will verify who you are and make sure you are able to pick up your student." 

"Gotcha," Alex said getting out and coming around. She stooped to Nora's level. "Want me to walk you in?" Nora saw all the other kids going in alone and shook her head. "Ok, see you at three." She gave Nora a kiss and a hug. 

"Miss Lasko?" a woman called out walking their way. 

"Yes?" Alex returned standing up. 

"I'm Ms. Davies," the woman said shaking Alex's hand. "I'll be Nora's homeroom teacher!" 

"Oh, thanks for coming out to meet us!" Alex smiled. "But who is watching your class?" 

"I have two terrific aides in my room that help," she smiled. She stooped to Nora's level. "Are you ready for a big day?" Nora looked up at Alex and then back at Ms. Davies and nodded. "Good! We are super excited about having you with us!" She held out her hand to Nora who took it apprehensively. She looked up to Alex who smiled her best smile to reassure her. 

Alex watched them walk away, and Nora turned at the door and waved one final time before disappearing inside. The security guard looked to Alex and nodded, he had seen this situation many times, the worry of leaving your child for the first time at a new school. 

"She will be fine," he assured her. Alex nodded and tried to smile as she walked around to get back in her car. As soon as she was in in her cell rang. 

"Hey," she said. 

"Hey back!" came Lena's voice. "First day of school?" 

"Yeah, it's killing me," Alex admitted. 

"Well, it's something new," Lena said softly. 

"Yeah," Alex agreed. 

"I need a favor," Lena blurted. 

"Sure, for you, anything," Alex sighed. 

"Can you come by the apartment?" 

"Of course," Alex said sliding her gear into drive and moved out carefully. "Be there soon." 

"Thanks," Lena sounded relieved but Alex missed it as she worried about Nora. 

Walking into her old apartment she tried to shake the negative feelings of Nora not with her now. 

"Hey!" she called out. 

Lena came from the bedroom in rush, took her by the hand and pulled her towards the bedroom. Opening the door, she found Mike naked in bed, a sheet covering his private area and his hands cuffed to the headboard. 

"Hey!" he called out. "I'm naked here!" Alex covered her smile with her hand but couldn't stop the laughter. It was a definite tension breaker. All the turmoil of the past few days melted away with each leaked laugh. 

"What. The. Hell?" Alex laughed. 

"Stop laughing!" Lena begged swatting at her best friend. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm not that kind of girl," Alex continued to tease, the tears of laughter forming in her eyes. 

"Stop it!" Lena began to laugh with her. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 42



"I'm trying, really I am, but this is just too funny!" Alex said trying to control her laughter. Mike blushed embarrassedly from the bed. 

"Now," Alex said getting her laughter somewhat under control. "What the fuck?" 

"Well," Lena began as Mike closed his eyes. "We were trying some stuff...and so I cuffed him to the bed." Lena explained as Mike groaned and gently banged his head against the headboard in embarrassment. 

"Ok," Alex laughed. "First, you go through his wallet, take his credit cards and max them out. Come back in a few hours, if he is still here, then maybe you might think about releasing him." 

"Not funny," Mike pointed out. 

"You should be standing where I am right now!" Alex disagreed. 

"Damn," Mike groaned. 

"The problem is," Lena began slowly. "I can't find the key." 

"What?" Alex burst into laughter again. 

"Stop laughing, it's not funny!" Lena tried. 

"Bullshit! This is damn funny!" Alex retorted. "So what can I do? Laugh? Run the video camera?" 

"Stop!" Lena begged as Mike groaned again. Alex covered her mouth in an attempt to keep from laughing. It partially worked. 

"Ok, seriously, what do you need me for? It seems you have matters well in hand?" Alex tried through her laughter. 

"I was hoping, seeing how you are into this shit, you would have a key!" Lena told her. Alex bent over laughing now, she couldn't hold it back anymore. 

"Really?" Mike complained as Lena pushed the laughing Alex into the hallway and closed the door behind them, leaving Mike in his embarrassment. 

"Look you are the kinky fuck," Lena pointed out. "Surely you have a key!" 

"Look hon, it's obvious I'm not alone in my kinky fuckery!" Alex tried to say without laughing and failing. She needed this moment, all the stress of finding a school for Nora, the no kids in the building and all of the rest of it faded back for a few moments. "As kinky as I am, Gavin doesn't use cuffs!" 

"What?" Lean gasped. "How does he do BDSM without cuffs?" 

"It's called rope," Alex laughed. "No key needed!" 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Lena pouted. 

"I'll call Gavin," Alex laughed pulling her phone out. 

"Do you have to?" Lena asked her. "It was hard enough getting Mike's permission to call you!" 

"Hell yes I have to call, he probably could use a good laugh anyway!" Alex teased. 

"Alexandria!" Lena barked. "Stop laughing!" she demanded as even she began laughing. 

"How do you have cuffs and no key?" Alex asked as she waited for Gavin to answer. 

"I don't know," Lena groused. "The cuffs are from a previous boyfriend, I thought the key was with my toys, but I guess not!" 

"I guess not!" Alex teased. "Hey, Sir." Alex shook her head and smiled as she flipped the phone to speakerphone so that Lena could hear. "What do you know about handcuffs?" 

"I like the way you think!" Gavin laughed over the speaker. 

"No, not me," Alex laughed at Gavin's response. "Mike." There was some silence on the phone and both girls imagined what Gavin was thinking at that moment. 

"Not my type," Gavin laughed. "A bit hairy chested I would imagine. I don't do hairy chested women." This caused Alex to burst into laughter. 

"You guys aren't very nice!" Lena pointed out crossing her arms. 

"Hey Lena," Gavin called out once he realized she could hear him. 

"Hey," she growled. "Do you have a key?" 

"You don't have a key to handcuffs?" Gavin began laughing more as the picture was coming into focus. 

"No, I thought I did," Lena admitted. 

"And Mike is cuffed?" 

"Yes," 

"Where?" 

"To the bed," Alex laughed. 

"Oh my God, this is just too funny!" Gavin pointed out. 

"I can hear all of you!" came Mike's voice from the other side of the door. "And I hate you all!" This caused everybody to laugh harder. 

Gavin showed up twenty minutes later and burst into laughter when he saw Mike's predicament. 

"Asshole," Mike growled. 

"Be nice or I'm not helping," Gavin warned. 

"Thank God you have a key!" Lena said happily. 

"I don't have a key," Gavin told them. 

"What?" they said in unison. 

"I don't even own a set of handcuffs!" he laughed. 

"Then what are you doing here?" Mike grumbled. 

"I wouldn't have missed this for the world!" Gavin teased. 

"So what do we do?" Alex asked. She started to pick up the edge of the sheet covering Mike up. 

"Alex!" Mike barked. She laughed and dropped the sheet. 

Gavin pulled a piece of thin wire out and began to probe the keyhole. Mike looked up to see what he was doing. 

"Is that going to work?" he asked Gavin, his voice begging for good news. 

"In a previous life I wasn't so upstanding," Gavin laughed as he continued to pick the lock on the cuffs. "It's a good thing these are the cheap cuffs. If they were real cuffs this would totally not work!" With that the cuff released and Mike was able to pull his hands down with some difficulty. 

His arms stiff and sore from being immobilized for so long. Gavin held out his hand as he laughed while picking the other side of the cuffs to fully release Mike from the metal shackles. Once he was free Mike turned over and pulled the pillow over his head in humiliation, extending his middle finger in reply to all of the harassment and laughter he was enduring. 

"See," Alex laughed slapping him on the butt. "Nothing to it!" 

"Get out," Mike ordered from under the pillow. 

The three of them got up laughing and closed the door behind them. 

*** 

Stepping out onto the front stoop of Alex's old apartment, they stood there for a moment just kind of smiling. 

"I don't know about you," Gavin began as he pulled his gloves on. "But I sure needed that!" 

"I'm with you, Sir," Alex agreed tucking her arm into his as he led her down the stairs. "I'm sorry." 

"For what?" 

"For all the stress my family is putting us through," Alex sighed. 

The more she thought about it, the worse she felt. Gavin got a full taste of her family, the way they were, how they turned on one another even to the point of forcing Livy's death. She wondered if Gavin was having second thoughts about marrying into a family like that. She was sure he would be by now. 

"Are you rethinking your decision to marry me?" Alex asked him when she got to her SUV. He turned her and stared at her hard. 

"I told you a long time ago, I don't do second thoughts, they are a waste of time," he told her firmly. 

"My family hasn't given you pause?" Alex gasped. 

"I'm not marrying your family," Gavin told her with a hand to her face. "I'm marrying you." 

"All this stress," Alex said as a tear fell from her eye. 

"Will pass," he assured. He leaned into her lips and kissed her gently. "I love you Alexandria Lasko, and I'm dying to make you my wife." 

"Oh my God," Alex whispered against his lips. "I love you, with all that I am!" She clutched him and he held her tightly. He could tell by the way she was holding him that she didn't want this to be a quick hug. So he held her there, in the street, with the passing cars buzzing behind him. 

"Sir," she whispered into his neck. 

"Yes Little One?" 

"I need a session, in the worst way!" she said, her voice trembling. 

"I'll see you at the condo then," he smiled releasing her and opening her door. She kissed his lips before getting in. 

Alex tried to obey the posted speed limit, but her desire kept telling her it didn't matter, she just needed to get home. Home for a full release! A chance to serve her Dom, to please him and be pleased in the process. A chance to release all of the pent up desire that had been simmering just below the surface of her skin. Now she was raging with it, seeing Mike tied up brought a flood of memories that caused her to burn from within. 

Waiting next to him at the elevator of the lobby had her nearly dripping. The things she wanted done to her, knowing full well none of it would compare to what he actually was going to do to her. The ding of the door had her nearly sprinting through, he ambled in calmly and pushed the button for their floor. 

"Suck my cock," he demanded as soon as the door closed behind him. She looked to him for a split second. "I think we should be well beyond the hesitation point." He growled. 

She dropped to her knees and yanked his zipper down pulling him out, he was already hard and that told her he was just as excited as she was. She wasted no time burying her nose into his neatly trimmed pubes, holding him deep within her throat. The feel of him throbbing there had her whimpering. She felt the space between her legs dampen a little with her excitement. 

She rapidly bobbed her head on his steel shaft as the dinging of the floors let her know that they were moving. She let out a soft growl, without even knowing until it filled the elevator, as she brought her hands into play. By the fifth chime the elevator slowed, this was not their floor. That meant someone was getting on with them. 

She looked up to him to see if she was supposed to stop. Her heart beat against her rib cage, part of her wanted to stop as it would quickly be all over the building if someone caught them like this. But a dark part of her wanted to keep going, to let the whole building know what kind of girl she was. She was proud of it! 

"Get up," he smiled. She let his cock slowly fall from her mouth as she stood but didn't fully release it until she was fully standing, staying bent over until the last second. Gavin tucked his coat around him hiding his engorged cock from view as Alex carefully wiped the saliva from her lip as her face flushed with heat as an elderly couple that she knew got on. 

"Good morning Alex!" the woman called out to her. 

"Good morning Harriet," Alex smiled. "George." She greeted both. 

"I hear you have a little one in your place now?" Harriet continued as she moved closer to Alex. 

"Yes," Alex smiled. "My niece Nora, she is staying with us now." 

"I heard," Harriet said grimly. "I'm sorry for your loss." 

"Thank you," Alex said dropping her head. 

The elder couple got off two floors later with a wave, Alex immediately took hold of Gavin's cock in her hand and began to stroke him. 

"Should I continue?" she asked him. 

"No," he told her causing her to frown. "It will keep until I have no further interruptions." 

"Yes sir," she smiled. 

"Be ready," he warned her. "I'm am going to use you to the point of exhaustion." Alex sucked in a breath and held it. That was exactly what she needed! 

The instant the door was closed to the condo she pulled the wool sweater she was wearing over her head, discarding it to the floor as she walked towards the living room. Gavin followed and admired her from behind. The yoga pants she was wearing clung to her like it was her skin. 

He watched her firm cheeks tighten and loosen with each step, he paused to watch her for a few moments. She stopped and turned her head to look over her shoulder, her auburn hair curled and down to mid shoulder blade. She let a wicked little smile creep across her face as she realized he was staring at her ass. She laughed inwardly. She knew this outfit, in particular the yoga pants, would draw his attention. 

Early on he had ordered her to wear only dresses around him, so he could have full access, he told her that day in the restroom where he fucked her. She also remembered his affinity for yoga pants, being an ass man he enjoyed them. She had purchased several pairs, just for him, to tease. Anytime she wore them she received the same response, the wolf stare as she moved about in them. He never corrected her that she was not in her dress as he had ordered. She figured the pants distracted him from it or became approved clothing once he saw her in them. 

She hooked her thumbs into the waistband of the tight fitting workout pants and slowly pushed them down, bending at the waist as she exposed herself to him in a sultry show. The soft gasp he let slip from his lips let her know she had hit her mark. 

She stepped out of the pants now and stood there waiting for his command. Leaving her head slightly turned she could see him in her periphery. He leaned against the door jamb leading to the living room. His eyes playful as he devoured her from a distance. The time eked by, driving her mad. She wanted him to take her, to let the wolf out. But instead he kept her imprisoned there in the living room, imprisoned with now cell or form of bondage. Unable to turn to go to him, as he hadn't told her to. Unable to touch herself in an attempt to lure him in, as, again, he hadn't told her to. 

This, she found, was the hardest bondage of all. The waiting. Not the ropes he so intricately bound her in, not the soft nylon cuffs he wrapped around her wrists and ankles from time to time. No, this was the bondage that drove her mad with lust. His ability to control his desires to the point of looking placid. The only way you could see his interest in her was in his eyes and the slight smile he wore as he traversed her body with his eyes. Enjoying her body from afar. How did he do that, her mind always screamed. How did he remain so calm when all she could think about was ravaging him if she could? 

Her body began to shake, but it wasn't because she was cold. The condo was always warm enough. Her body shook with anticipation. All of the things he had done to her over the nearly two years flooded her mind. She tried to guess what he would do, from time to time, but found that to be an impossibility. It didn't matter, he always had her cumming so hard her legs would shake afterwards for what seemed like an eternity. 

Her eyes flutter closed as all the memories of their previous sessions caused her heart to beat against her chest, her breathing to quicken. The warm glow in her nether regions caused her let out a soft sigh. She was getting wet and the man hadn't even moved from the doorway of the living room! 

"What are you thinking?" he asked her softly, noticing the smile on her beautiful face. 

"I'm getting wet just thinking about what you are going to do to me!" she told him softly, her voice shaking slightly with the excitement she felt. "Why is that? Why are you the only man who has made me wet without even touching me?" 

"That's what a Dom does," he smiled. "I leave you with the knowledge that I can make your body sing. That I can make your body react in ways it never has before." 

He finally came to her and put his hands on her and that made her shiver. 

"You also know, that with these hands you will be pleased," he said confidently. "You know what they are capable of." She nodded as he ran his fingertips gently over her soft skin. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"For what?" 

"I guess I don't have the same effect on you," she gasped as he ran his fingers around her nipples, causing them to tighten even more. 

He ran his left hand down her arm to her hand and guided it back to his cock which throbbed just below the soft, thin material of his pants. 

"The effect you have on me should not be in doubt," he whispered in her ear. The hot breath that escaped his mouth caused a cascade of goose bumps to wash across her torso. 

"Have no fear, Little One," he said as he nibbled on the soft, sensitive spot just behind her ear. "You affect me in ways no one has ever come close to before." 

"Thank you, Sir," she gasped. 

He turned her and she lowered her eyes with her playful smile. The grip on her arms as he turned her alerted her to his actual desire. Yes, his face was calm, but the grip in his hands was desperate. Desperate to touch her, desperate to have her.  

He lowered his lips to her and began to kiss her, she reciprocated. 

"No," he commanded, as he pulled back from her. "I'm kissing you." 

"Yes Sir," she whispered. 

"Be still," he told her. 

"Yes Sir," she panted. Fuck this bondage was the harshest kind her mind screamed. Fuck, fuck...Fuck! 

"Open your mouth slightly," he said. 

Once she had done as instructed he slowly, maddeningly, let his talented tongue graze the inside of her lips, now her body shook to a point it was visible. He was driving her crazy with his pace! Making sure she had no doubts who was the Dom and who was the sub, if there ever was! 

She fought herself to keep from returning his kiss, this was both infuriating and incredibly erotic at the same time. It made her wonder, how did women survive in a vanilla world? She couldn't believe this world wasn't considered the norm instead of the vanilla. Any woman who tasted this, felt this, enjoyed this, could never go back. She knew that way back when she first started this journey, but now, it was irrefutable. 

"Let me have your tongue," he said while holding her chin. 

She let her tongue come out of her mouth slowly, he gently let his tongue caress the edges of it. She wanted to tap her feet like a child on Christmas day, because that's what this was. Every time he played with her, it was like Christmas day. 

The pure bliss of enjoyment, with that hope that it would never end. That every day would be exactly like this day. A Bill Murry "Groundhog Day" type of life. It was happening to her. Every day she woke up and saw him, either at the table having breakfast, or in the shower. Better yet, when he stood at the mirror and shaved. 

She had gone into the bathroom one morning and found him shaving, it was such a simple act but one that had her mesmerized. The image of his masculinity as he carefully pulled the sharp blade across his white foamed skin. No, no electric razor for him. It was like his lovemaking, slow...drawn out. Done thoroughly. Nothing rushed. She was just enthralled by the simple act of him shaving. 

He gently began to guide her backwards as he teased her with his tongue. He pulled back from her and began to undue his tie. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck! Her mind danced in childish happiness. His smile tipped at the edges as he watched the recognition fill her eyes. 

She moved her hands behind her back obediently without being told. He smiled broader letting her know he was pleased with her already. Staring into her soft blue eyes he saw her desire as he carefully tied her hands behind her back. She wasn't surprised that he didn't need to look. It wasn't an ordinary knot, she knew that, just by the way his hands moved. It was a Gavin knot, intricate and thorough. Tight but not too tight to cut off the circulation. Bound but not harmed. 

"On your knees," he commanded. 

His voice changing from gentle and teasing to demanding in the span of three words. She looked up only briefly and saw the wolf stalking behind his eyes. Oh fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck yes! 

She lowered her eyes at the same time that she dropped to her knees. He slowly undid the belt on his pants. She watched through her eyelashes with great interest, but like Gavin normally does, he went slowly to drive her crazy. 

Slowly pulling the button apart then lowering the zipper had her smacking her lips slightly without her even realizing it. She wanted what was behind those thin pieces of cloth. The pants fell loosely around his ankles and he stepped out of them. Taking the time to fold them carefully before he walked to the nearby chair and laid them over the back it. 

She watched with her head down, her periphery drinking him in. He stood there next to the chair as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Doesn't he know how bad she needs him already? She gritted her teeth. He knew. The Jedi Master knew all and all of this was to drive her mad! 

He slid his underwear down after carefully unbuttoning and folding his shirt and laying it over his pants. She was unable to stop her head from turning to him now. She wanted to look him over fully, not in her periphery. She wanted the whole picture of his magnificent body. The slightly darkened skin that made it look like he was just from an extended vacation with a tan, even though it was the dead of winter. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 42



The way his firm, muscled body pulsated with his movements. The way his cock bobbed gently as he moved about. Walking towards her had her head shaking. She had to have him, she wanted to scream at him. Fucking take me already with that fantastic cock! But she knew better. If a demand were to escape her lips right now it would only cause him to delay her release even longer. 

He stood in front of her now, his cock mere inches from her lips. She fought the urge to lower her lips to his head and suckle it. She could see a drop of clear precum had already formed at the slit on the head. She wanted to reach out with her tongue and pull it into her mouth. 

"Open your mouth," the wolf demanded. She obeyed. "Stay still." 

He slowly slid his cock into the recesses of her warm mouth, his shaft disappearing into her it as he watched. An erotic scene of her swallowing his cock. Soon he was against the back of her throat with a couple of inches still visible. 

"I'm going to fuck your mouth, Little One," he informed her as he held himself still, his cock pressing the back of her throat. Merry fucking Christmas to me, she screamed in her head. "Get ready." 

How could she let him know, she had been ready for days, if not weeks. Hell months! He started off with a slow thrust, his cock sliding out of her mouth only to push back in hitting the back of her throat. Gently he did this, but she could tell he was only going slow to allow her adjust. It wouldn't stay like this, no, his eyes told her this was not going to stay gentle. 

She worked to relax her throat so that she could take him deeper into her mouth. When he was finally able to slide his cock until it disappeared from view he brought his hands to the sides of her head and held her there. His cock down her throat, past her gag reflex. Her nose against him. 

He held himself there, she lost track of her technique as she felt the gentle throb of his cock and forgot to breathe. Soon her lungs burned and she began to struggle. He pulled out at the last minute and she gasped for air. She was so caught up in the moment she forgot to breathe! 

His hands tightened in her soft locks. As he began to pull her head into him as he drove his hips forward, picking up speed as he went. He pulled out from time to time to let her gasp for air. He was just out of her long enough for her to pull in a breath. 

Now he was fucking her mouth hard, she held her mouth open as best she could, the soft gagging sounds slipping out as the head of his cock hammered the back of her throat. He continued to increase the speed of his thrusts until he was pulling her hair tightly as he thrust his hips forward, bouncing her nose off his groin in the process. 

Over and over he did this, fucking her mouth while she gagged on his depth as it was brutal and harsh, keeping her from concentrating on keeping her throat relaxed. But she could tell the gagging sounds she was making was turning him on even more. The soft guttural growl he emitted let her know so. So she didn't bother trying to reclaim the technique, instead letting him choke her slightly with his cock. She knew she was never in danger...ever. 

A soft line of saliva began to form in her mouth and she wanted to swallow it but she never had time, by the time he pulled his rock hard cock out of her mouth the only thought she had was sucking in a deep breath, but as soon as the breath was taken, his cock was back, hammering at her. The saliva had no choice but to dribble out of her mouth, falling in a long strand until the force of his thrust caused it to fall to her chest. 

Soon his cock was coated in her thick saliva, glistening with it. Her eyes began watering from all her gagging causing her mascara to run a bit. But she didn't care, she loved this! This forceful taking of her. This using her for his pleasure. That's what he was doing. Yes, she enjoyed sucking his cock, but this wasn't sucking his cock. He was fucking her mouth like a man who was using her as a whore. In this moment, she was the whore...and she loved it. As contrary to her personality as that was. It turned her on in a way she didn't think she would ever enjoy, but she did enjoy this. His taking her. Not making love. Fucking. There were definitely two different types of sex. Making love and fucking. 

Making love usually employed a softer technique, one suited that both would enjoy and hopefully cum at the same time. Gentleness, passionate for sure, but not to be confused with fucking. Fucking was hard, animalistic...raw. Gavin did both and he seemed to know exactly which one she needed and gave it to her. Like now, if he made love to her it would be great. But she needed to be fucked! 

Alexandria enjoyed being used solely for his pleasure. She would look up at him and seen the utter satisfaction on his face. That look he had, brought her immense pleasure. She loved taking him to the edges of the Nirvana he took her to so regularly. 

There were many nights after he had pleased her into multiple, mind numbing orgasms that she thought this relationship was one sided, definitely tilted in her favor. How many women could boast that? There were a lot of women she knew who never achieved orgasm unless they were doing it themselves. Their man never lasting long enough to get them there. 

For her, there were many nights that he played with her to the point of orgasmic exhaustion. He would then pull her gently into their safe position, with her head resting softly on his leg as they laid there in bed, her body perpendicular to his as he stroked her back gently as she came down from her high. He would have played with her into multiple orgasms but would never get a release himself. How many women could claim that? Given multiple orgasms but not have to reciprocate for their partner? 

He would never bring it up that he hadn't cum. She knew he didn't care about that. She knew he was pleased just to be pleasing her. It took months for her to stop feeling guilty about it. She just couldn't fathom how this man took more enjoyment out of making her cum than cumming himself. But he did. 

But now he was totally pleasing himself, using her for that purpose. He wasn't worried about pleasing her at this moment. He was just pleasing himself, using her for that purpose, and she loved it! 

He drove deep down her throat, which was now burning from his abuse. He held himself there until her head began to struggle slightly as her breath was kept from her longer than expected. Her body began to rebel but he finally released her and withdrew from her mouth. She sucked in a breath and panted as he held his cock in his hand. 

After a few moments she lifted her head and readied herself for his cock to return to her mouth but instead he lifted her to her feet and spun her around, pushing her forcefully over the arm of the couch. 

Her face crashed into the soft cushions while her feet lifted slightly off the floor, her legs barely long enough to reach the floor while she was bent over the arm, her toes the only part able to maintain contact with the carpeting. She felt his hands move over her, down her lower back across the skin of her ass. He pulled her cheeks apart to reveal her to him completely. Her sex glistening with her excitement. A small trail of which was down her inner thigh. 

Soon his tongue was deep within her ass, no warning, no gentleness. Much like he had fucked her mouth, now his tongue fucked her ass. Deep and forceful it was. Causing her to squeak out her excitement. He pulled his tongue out and began to nibble with his teeth the soft skin of her ass. Tasting her flesh that he enjoyed so much. 

He suckled her muscular ass, pulling the skin into his mouth to leave his mark of ownership. One that her gasping in glee. Once his mark was on her he dove his tongue into her sex, pulling her excitement into his mouth with his cupped tongue. She whimpered and wiggled her hips with each intrusion. Hoping to pull him deeper into her. 

His nose buried into the crack of her ass as he would move from her sex to her anus, before going back again. He stood behind her and to the side so he could penetrate her with his fingers. First one, then two. Thrusting them in her, causing her body to rock on the arm of the couch with his force. Slowly at first, but then quickening. Soon his hand was fucking her like his cock had been fucking her mouth. Forcefully and with utter abandon. 

Her first orgasm sprung on her, the excitement of being used. The knowledge that he was using her for his pleasure. The knowledge that he was going to make her cum and it wouldn't be a "lonely" number. 

"May I cum Sir?" her voice pleaded. She hoped he wouldn't say no, not with her orgasm already on the way and running from her stomach to her sex and soon to be gushing out and down her legs. The speed and surprise of her impending orgasm had her doubting she could stop it if he denied her permission. 

"Yes, Beautiful, cum for me!" he whispered and she was giddy. Her orgasm took hold of her body and caused it to stiffen there, in a bent arch, over the arm of the couch. His hand continued to pound however. 

"Fuck!" she screamed out into the cushions as her cum erupted from her. Her toes curled up on her feet and now she wasn't touching the floor at all anymore. She felt her orgasm squirt from her body with a power and force that coated her thighs and she heard it hit the couch and floor beneath her. 

"Oh my God Sir! I'm sorry!" she called out as she flushed with both the release and the embarrassment of cumming on the arm of the couch and the floor. The sudden and extensive force of her squirt had caught her off guard. "The couch!" 

"Fuck the couch," he growled. "I want your fucking cum to gush from you until you can't walk anymore!" 

His hand never slowed as he said this, her eyes rolled back into her head as she exploded again, not as hard as the first but still enough for her to know that the arm of the couch was going to be soaked through with her cum. 

Now her words of apology were indistinguishable. She was babbling. Her orgasm stealing her ability to speak. Soon his fingers were gone from her and she gasped at the sudden emptiness. But it was only temporary as he rammed his cock home in home deep, hard thrust. His balls slapping against her clit forcefully. 

"Holy fuck!" she screamed out. "Fuck me Sir! Fuck me!" 

He gripped the tie that bound her hands and used it to pull her back into him. His groin slapping against her ass as he pummeled her drenched sex from behind. The sloppy sound of their fucking filling the room with the smell of sex. The sound of his groin slapping her backside reminiscent of a spanking. 

"Fuck! I'm cumming again!" she called out. 

The soft gush of her orgasm blocked by his cock as it continued to piston in and out of her, caused his cock to coat with it. After she fell from her latest Nirvana she felt him pull her ass cheeks apart. Before she realized he was there he was already buried in her ass. 

She yelped out a yip of pain but clamped her lips shut immediately. She would not ruin the moment, no, the wolf would not be deterred by her. 

"That's it Sir! Fuck my ass!" she gritted through clenched teeth. "Take me! Fuck me!" The words spurred him on and made him pound her ass with his cock causing shooting pains to radiate through her with each thrust. 

She felt the drip of sweat from him as he pounded her from behind, her ass screaming with white hot pain. It wasn't like the first time she had been taken in the ass. The preparation she had gone through for this. The slow, careful sessions of his cock for the first few times. That first on the island, all the way through his fucking her ass in the hotel after asking her to marry him. 

No, this wasn't gentle. He was fucking her ass hard, like the night she watched him with Elizabeth. Elizabeth begging him to fuck her harder, even though her face registered some discomfort. He had warned her it might not ever be pain free. Her anus wasn't made for sex. Now with him ravaging her, she understood, but she didn't care. The only thought she had was the knowledge he was going to cum as hard as she just did. That was her only concern. 

"Fuck me harder Sir!" she urged through her teeth. "Take your sub's ass and make her scream!" Gavin obliged her, he found a little more force making her call out into the couch, not in pain but enjoyment. She had him. The Dom so in control was now suddenly under her control! 

"Cum for me Sir, please fuck my ass until you cum!" she cheered. 

He pulled out suddenly and yanked on the tie around her wrists pulling her from the couch and she fell to the floor. She instantly bounced up to her knees and waited with her mouth open, much like Elizabeth had done that first night together. 

He fisted his cock with his hand, the first eruption from his cock shot across her face and landed in her hair, the second firmly lodging in her eye causing it to burn as she snapped them closed. The next shot hit her mouth, as did the two after that. She carefully opened the eye not covered in cum and watched him, his face contorted with the power of his orgasm, his legs shaking as he came. His fist pumping furiously as he forced the cum to explode from the tip of his steely cock. 

He finally relaxed his leg muscles and rocked back, his eyes opening slowly as she sat there. His cum in her hair, part in her eye, some in her mouth, the balance on her face and breasts. It was an enormous amount of cum and she was thrilled to have elicited it from him. 

She left the cum in her mouth so he could see it pool gently on her tongue. As he watched her, she seductively closed her mouth to swallow it, only to open it to show it was now gone. He grinned at her and lowered his lips to hers and kissed her gently. 

"Come with me Little One," he whispered. "Time to play." 

She lifted her eyebrows as he carefully wiped her eye free of cum with his finger. 

"Oh no Little One," he smiled when he saw her questioning. "That was just to take the edge off...I told you I was going to leave you exhausted. I am just getting warmed up!" 

He helped her to her feet, but her legs were already jelly like so he scooped her up and carried her towards the bedroom. She laid her head down on his shoulder and smiled into his neck. The wolf protecting and caring for his kitten. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 43



Chapter 59 

"You're late," Royce complained the moment Elizabeth sat down. 

"I'm sorry," she frowned. "Traffic was bad." 

"You should plan ahead," he continued angrily. 

"I know," she agreed. 

She didn't know why he was upset. It was not like he was going to wait for her anyway. The wine bottle on the table was half gone already. He swirled the burgundy liquid around in his glass. 

"I've ordered already," he said downing the last bit in his glass. He then reached out and filled his glass again, never bothering to offer her any. She finally had to fill her own glass. The waiter came and took her order as they sat in silence. She could feel the anger radiate off him and knew the meeting with his father went poorly. 

She was growing tired of Royce's temper tantrums. They reminded her of why she didn't want kids. She never knew how to approach him. It was always a guessing game. There would be the good days where he would spend his time pleasuring her. Then there would be the days he was aloof, preferring her to leave and go elsewhere while he went about his business. Then there were the days he met with his father or the man his father put in charge of Royce's soon to be presidential campaign. 

Those days left him bitter and angry and he usually took it out on her. Either with harsh words meant to cut at her. Or spankings that left her unable to sit. Then there were the really bad days when he would flog her, harshly, so harshly she felt abused rather than cherished. 

"Guess what I heard today," Royce's smile ticked up at the corners. 

"What's that Master?" 

"It seems your replacement has the Super Dom, Gavin, wrapped around her finger!" Royce laughed derisively. Elizabeth cocked her head and waited for him to explain. 

"It seems not only did she manage to get him to pop the question, but now they have taken in her niece!" Royce chuckled as he shook his head. 

"Gavin with a child?" Elizabeth smiled. 

"Yes," Royce shook his head. "So much for his Dom days!" 

"I think you can be both a father and a Dom!" Elizabeth disagreed. 

"My point is, he was supposed to be this perfect Dom! All the women want him, and lots of the men hold him in high esteem, but that little slut you picked out for him has converted him to a little bitch!" Royce mocked. 

"Gavin is not a bitch," Elizabeth rolled her eyes. 

"Well then, I guess you aren't the sub you thought you were," Royce told her, his voice and eyes going cold. "She managed to at least to get him to pop the question, something you could never do!" 

Elizabeth turned her eyes from him and his ridicule. Now he was hitting too close to home! She had thought the same thing. She always assumed Gavin had no interest in marriage as he never gave off the signals of anything but a Dom. The idea was never broached at any point in their relationship. 

"Perhaps I chose the wrong woman to steal from him," Royce continued. "I mean, she must fuck like a hurricane to make a man convert that quickly!" 

"I've been with her," Elizabeth growled back. "She isn't all that, I had to teach her how to be a proper sub!" 

"Well, it seems the student has surpassed the teacher!" Royce laughed as his meal was brought to him. "I mean, first she manages to last longer than a year, then marriage, now she is making him take in her family? Must be one fabulous fuck!" 

"Why do you do this?" Elizabeth asked him. 

"Do this?" 

"Take your anger out on me?" She complained. "You meet with your father, then get pissed off and I have to take the brunt of it! If you would man up and stand up to him, you wouldn't be angry all the damn time!" 

"Are you questioning my manhood?" he dared her. 

"You think I'm afraid of anything you can do to me?" she laughed. "Trust me, I can handle much better than you can give!" 

"You think I won't strike you in this restaurant?" he growled pushing his plate to the side. 

"You think hitting me is going bother me?" she threw back. "I'm a fucking slave, I love the rough stuff!" 

They ate in silence, the people around them enjoying their meal. Unlike her. The meal they were enjoying had laughter with friends or family. Several couples looking into each other's eyes lustfully, passing time at dinner but wanting to get home to indulge in their sexual desires. 

The table she was at had no laughter. It had no conversation. It most definitely didn't have the lustful looks. That had long since passed. Now they just fought with one another. The sex was infrequent and infuriating. She never came anymore unless she did it herself. Their sex life had fallen into a rut of two minutes of Royce gruffly fucking her without foreplay until he came. There were no sessions like she had enjoyed with Gavin. No intrigue in wondering what was in store for her. 

With Gavin, he always kept her guessing, and that was half the fun. How was he going to please her? Was he going to fuck her roughly? Was he going to tie her up in one of his intricate knots? She never really knew. With Royce, that wasn't the case. She knew what was in store for her...utter disappointment. 

She longed for the days with Gavin, the sessions that took hours and left her exhausted and satisfied. She longed for the spoiling Gavin always doled out. Soft baths, pleasurable massages. Pampering. Cooking for her, serving her dinner, opening her car door. Making sure she always took care of herself. 

She thought of Alexandria. The first day she saw her there in the coffee shop she was turned on by her. The way she was looking at her through the top of her eyelashes as she drew her. Nothing made her feel as sexy as having someone steal looks at her to draw her. She didn't know why that simple situation struck her the way it did, but the idea she intrigued someone enough to spend multiple hours just drawing her made her feel important. 

At the time, she felt Alexandria was a way out. A way to a better life. A more satisfying life, that is why she stopped her that day. She knew Gavin would like her, that was without question. She knew what he liked, what he liked to look at. She knew what his previous subs looked like. He liked the girl next door look. He liked a girl that could dress up and stun a crowd one night, then the next day throw a ball cap on and drink a beer with his friends watching a ballgame. 

Elizabeth could do the wowing, but the beer with friends wasn't her. The more she learned about Alexandria the more she knew that Alexandria was the one to replace her. There would be no way Gavin could turn her down. Not sweet innocent Alexandria who was so eager to learn the life! 

Now she regretted it. If she had known then what she knew now, she would have let the blue eyed girl next door walk on by. She missed the old lifestyle. Yes, at first she liked the rougher sex, being taken by force. But the newness and the excitement of that soon waned. Now it was disappointing. He didn't fuck her roughly to her satisfaction, he didn't take that type of time. 

He was also having erection problems and he was too proud to go to a doctor to get Viagra. The one time she suggested it he whipped her to the point it hurt to put a shirt on. Now it also seemed her trip to the White House was also in jeopardy. Royce's father was constantly complaining about her. Cutting her down. Suggesting other women, sometimes right in front of her. At least Royce didn't back down, but she doubted it was because he was committed to her. It was more he refused to bow to his father about everything. 

They were planning her wedding. Something quick and private so it didn't look like Royce just ran off and got married for appearances, which is exactly what it was. She heard through the grapevine that Alexandria's wedding was going to be elaborate and expensive. She had also heard that the wedding dress alone was five figures. A custom made dress by one of the preeminent dress designers. That struck a jealous bone that caused her to begin to hate Alexandria. She was getting the life Elizabeth wanted. 

"Well, I have another meeting set," Royce said standing up. "I'll see you later." He walked away briskly without touching her. No gentle kiss the way Gavin always did. No soft fingers to the shoulder or her available skin. Hell, she would have taken a gritty, dirty sexual comment in her ear. 

"How do you know that man?" 

The voice brought her out of her doldrums to look upon a young woman, perhaps in her early twenties. Elizabeth looked her over. Her milk chocolate skin was tight and wrinkle free showing she was young. Time had not begun its brutal assault on her fragile skin. 

"He is my fiancé," Elizabeth told her warily. The look on the woman's face said it all. 

"Oh God," the woman hung her head. 

"He's fucking you," Elizabeth stated not overly surprised even if the young beauty before her was. 

"He said he was single!" the young woman defended. "I'm so sorry!" 

"It's not your fault," Elizabeth said softly as she stood up and took hold of her purse. "Men are pigs...my advice? Don't get mixed up with Royce...he can be abusive." 

"You're not angry with me?" the woman asked her surprised the dark headed woman didn't launch into a tirade like she wanted to when she saw Royce with her. 

"No," Elizabeth shook her head. "He's a user, he uses people to get what he wants then he moves on." 

"If you know this then why are you with him?" the woman asked. 

"Because using people is what I used to do for a living, I'm better at it than anyone. Royce may use girls like you for gratification, but I'm using him to get what I want!" Elizabeth left the woman there, her jaw dropped open in disbelief at what Elizabeth had said. 

Storming into their apartment twenty minutes later the anger hadn't subsided in her. Things were spiraling beyond her control now. She needed to tilt the balance back in her favor. She went to the window and stared out of it. She saw the reflection of Royce's desk in the glass. She spun and saw it. His laptop. He never went anywhere without his computer. 

"Royce?" she called out. She searched the apartment but he wasn't home. She came back to his desk and sat down. Pulling open the computer she typed in his password to gain access. 

Scrolling through the files she found what she was looking for. Royce had told her that he had blackmail on his father that he could use to make his father go away. Once Royce got his Senate seat anyway. 

The file was generic and Royce detailed the names for the rest of his files. This one only said "keeper stuff". She opened it. She scrolled through it. There were photocopies of lab reports, bills for hospitals and a copy of a blood test. There were also copies of memos sent to Royce's father, Limon, that detailed payoffs to women that Limon had slept with to keep them from going to the papers. There were several. 

There were also copies of receipts and bank transfers to and from his campaign account to various other offshore accounts. In all, it appeared that Limon Rentrom had taken twenty million dollars from his campaign fund and hid it in overseas account. It was from that account that he paid off these women. 

The DNA test confirmed that Limon was actually the father of his sister's baby, Royce's cousin. She slipped her jump drive into the port on the side of the computer and began downloading files. She would go through them all later, when she was sure Royce wouldn't walk in on her. 

Now if she was tossed aside like Limon wanted, she could not only bring Royce down with his drug use and the rape she endured in New Orleans, but she could take the father as well. Wire fraud, campaign finance misappropriations were a big deal in politics. It was one of the few things that was still taboo in the world of politics, one of the very few things. 

She wouldn't just take out Royce and Limon, she would take apart the entire Rentrom family. She now had the power to destroy the most powerful family in America. She could rip them apart piece by piece if she wanted. 

*** 

Alex lifted her head and looked about her, Nora's laugh had woken her. She looked about her and found that the sun had longs since disappeared. She dropped her head and laughed. 

"Well he did say he was going to use you to the point of exhaustion!" Alex laughed into the pillow. She rolled over and the rawness of her sex caused her to flinch. She shivered in remembrance of what Gavin had done to her. 

She got up quickly from bed, she had slept through picking up Nora from school! She threw a robe on and left the bedroom quickly. She found Gavin and Nora on the floor playing a board game. 

"Hey sleepy head!" Nora teased. 

"Hey there!" Alex smiled as she dropped to the floor to sit with them. 

"Feeling better?" Gavin asked as he rolled the dice. 

"Yes," she answered unsure what he was talking about but assuming he had covered for her with Nora. 

"Migraine gone?" he smiled as he moved his piece. 

"It came on pretty strong, so thank you for having the medicine I needed!" Alex blushed out. 

"I'm a doctor, that's my job," Gavin winked at her. 

"And you are oh soooo good at it!" Alex told him leaning into him to kiss him. 

"Gross!" Nora complained. 

"How was your first day?" Alex asked her as she pulled the girl into her lap. 

"It was ok," Nora said pushing her hair back from her eyes. "Some of the people are real nice but there is one boy who is real mean." 

"Well, they say that if a boy is mean to you that means he likes you," Alex told her. 

"That doesn't make any sense!" Nora pointed out. 

"Yep," Gavin nodded as he moved his piece around the board. "When I first met your Aunt, to show her I liked her, I was mean to her." 

"How?" 

"I spanked her," Gavin smiled causing Alex to widen her eyes and blush that he would just blurt out the spanking she receives from time to time. 

"What did you do?" Nora asked her. 

"When a guy likes you, you don't have to do anything!" Alex smiled. 

"If a guy spanks me, I'm going to punch him in the nose!" Nora said forcefully. This caused Gavin and Alex to burst into laughter. 

"Hey," Gavin said changing the subject. "After you drop Nora off at school tomorrow meet me here." 

He handed Alex a slip of paper with an address on it. 

"What's this?" Alex asked him. 

"Wedding stuff," Gavin exhaled deeply. 

"I thought that was on hold?" Alex asked him. 

"Do you think, for one second, Madelyn put things on hold?" Gavin cocked an eyebrow at her. 

"Damn that woman!" Alex growled and laughed at the same time. 

*** 

The next morning, Alex followed the turn by turn voice navigation and it took her into the suburbs north of Chicago. Turning her final corner, she saw Gavin standing next to his car with a woman in her mid-forties. Attractive and physically fit and for some reason her jealous bone twanged. 

She pulled her Mercedes up behind Gavin's car and he came around to open her door. 

"Morning Beautiful," he smiled as he kissed her. 

"Morning," she smiled as any thoughts of jealousy left her the moment his lips were on her. 

"Alex this is Shirley Palyoon," Gavin said introducing them. "Shirley this is my beautiful fiancé Alex." 

"Good morning Alex," Shirley smiled. "I think you are going to love this!" 

"Love what?" Alex asked looking to Gavin. 

"This neighborhood has a lot of kids," Gavin grinned. Alex snapped her head around and saw the "For Sale" sign in the yard. 

"We're house shopping?" Alex gasped her smile broadening. 

"The condo has zero kids for Nora," Gavin pointed out. "It's time we find a place to raise a family." 

"Holy shit," Alex croaked. "HOLY SHIT!" she jumped into Gavin's arms and kissed him deeply. 

Shirley waited patiently for the couple to finish their affection before walking up the walkway. 

"We have about six places to see today, so don't fall in love with anything right of the bat," Gavin told her. 

Alex was lost in looking at the area on the outside of the house. The yard was fairly large, the house was two story and looked to have a basement. Large bay windows flanked a double door in the front with large glass window all the way to the roof above the door showing off a large chandelier in the entry way that was visible from the outside. 

"Ok," Shirley smiled as she unlocked the door. "Now, as you can see you have a large entry way, just to the left here is the main office and to the right the living room. Take a look at the dual staircases! Isn't that a beautiful chandelier? It also retracts up so you can put a very large Christmas tree here!" 

"There are four bedrooms upstairs and of course the master bedroom is downstairs, per your request," Shirley pointed out to Gavin. 

"What did you ask for?" Alex asked him. 

"I asked for a family home in a neighborhood with young children, a master bedroom away from the other bedrooms and a large yard," Gavin shrugged. 

"He also said he needed a room with lots of natural light for your studio!" Shirley told her. "This has a great sunroom! It could easily be converted and used for you painting!" 

"You are absolutely beyond words!" Alex told him as they toured the lower level of the home. "When did you decide we needed a new place?" 

"As soon as Mike told me there were no kids in the building," Gavin shrugged. 

Gavin and Alex spent the day going through homes in the area. Each one was large, elaborate and expensive. Shirley giving the prices of each home as they went, showing the highlights. 

"What do you think?" Gavin asked as they finished the last house. 

"Honestly?" Alex smiled. "I really like that first one...it was so perfect! With the treehouse and all in the back yard? I think Nora would love that!" 

"God I would have loved a treehouse when I was a kid!" Gavin smiled as he opened her door. "What do you say we pick her up and bring her here to look at it?" 

"Can we get back in?" Alex asked him. He held a small key ring up with six keys. 

"I told her Nora would have to see them as well before we decide," Gavin winked. "I do think we should narrow it down to one or two though. Not burden her with all six." 

"I agree," Alex nodded. "Let's show her the first one, see what she thinks?" Gavin nodded and closed the door and went to the passenger side and got in. 

"Do you want to drive?" Alex asked him. 

"No, I have to work a bit here," he said showing her his phone. "You drive and let me check in with my patients and make sure all is ok." She nodded. 

Twenty minutes later they were sitting in front of St. Timothy waiting for Nora. Gavin was going over test results that had come back for a patient. The bell ringing had him shutting his phone down and looking towards the door. 

A security guard walked down the row of cars waiting to pick up their child, he was talking into a hand held radio as he went, obviously calling out the names of the parents there to pick up their child. He stopped at the bumper of Alex's Mercedes and looked in at them. Alex waved and he smiled at her and moved on. 

Nora came out, her Steelers backpack standing out. It seemed that most girls had pink backpacks and most of the boys had Chicago Bears or Cubs backpacks if they had sports teams. Nora's black and gold color scheme drew Gavin's smile. He hopped out and opened the back door for her. She handed him her backpack and climbed in. 

"Hey baby!" Alex called out happily. 

"Hey," Nora said softly. The smile she put on was forced and neither adult missed it. 

"How was your day?" Gavin asked. Nora shrugged. "That good, huh?" Nora tossed her eyes at him at his tease. 

"I hate math!" she told him. 

"Math?" Gavin laughed. "Well, I'm not bad at math, maybe I can help." Nora nodded. 

"Do we have to go straight home?" Nora asked Alex. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 43



"Well, actually," Alex smiled. "We have a couple of stops to make anyway, so no, we aren't going home." 

"Ok," Nora smiled. Alex looked to Gavin who smiled. They knew why she didn't want to go to the condo. There wasn't anyone or anything to play with. 

Pulling back up in front of the house they just left, Gavin let Nora out of the backseat before walking around to let Alex out. They came around holding hands. 

"Uncle Gavin, there is a car just like yours!" She pointed out. 

"That's because it is mine," he teased. "We left it here to come get you." 

Nora looked around and saw several kids already outside playing and Nora watched them. She turned back to Alex. 

"What are we doing here?" she asked. 

"Well, we wanted your opinion on this house," Alex nodded with her head. Nora turned and looked at it. 

"This house? Why?" the little girl asked looking at the small girl next door looking at her. 

"We are thinking of buying it...if you like it," Gavin told her. 

"We are?" Nora smiled. 

"Well, there are no kids to play with where we are now, that's because it is set up for single people. We are a family now, so we need a family home," Gavin explained. 

Nora smiled at the idea of playing with kids. They walked up to the house and Gavin unlocked the door. They let Nora go in first. 

"Wow, look at the lights!" she said craning her head to look up at the chandelier as she stood under it. She ran from one room to the next before sprinting up the stairs to the rooms upstairs. 

"Which one is mine?" she yelled as she ran from room to room. 

"Well you can have any room on the top floor," Gavin told her as he and Alex waited for her to sprint the entire top floor. 

She flew by them and back downstairs. 

"Did you see that?" Gavin joked. 

"Nope, too fast!" Alex laughed as she put her arm around his waist and they went back down the stairs. 

"OH MY GOSH THEY HAVE A TREEHOUSE!" Nora's voice echoed out in the empty home. 

"Guess we know her vote," he said as they turned towards the back where the patio door was that led to the back yard. 

"This place is huge!" Alex told him. "Do we need a house this big?" 

"Well," Gavin shrugged. "We need a place to put six kids." 

"Six?" Alex gasped. 

"Well seven if you count Nora," he laughed. 

"You want six more kids?" Alex stopped him. The look on his face told her he was joking. 

"Thank God!" Alex huffed. "I love kids and all but being pregnant six times does not sound all that appealing!" 

"Well, let's start off with one," Gavin told her pulling her into him. "Go from there." 

"Two," she smiled. "Three kids sounds good, then they can each have their own room with a guest room." 

"Two? How far apart?" he asked kissing her neck. 

"Your choice," she whispered as she shivered with the soft manipulations. 

Stepping outside they found Nora talking with another girl who was peering through the slats on the fence separating the two yards. They looked over to see a mother standing on her back porch watching as well. She gave a soft wave and they waved back. 

The mother walked towards the fence and they went as well. 

"Hello," she greeted them. "I'm Reese." 

"I'm Alex and this is my fiancé Gavin," Alex said shaking her hand. 

"Thinking of buying?" Reese asked them. They both nodded as a short scream from the girls caught their attention. They were engrossed with something on the fence. 

"Kari would love that!" Reese told them. "The last family that lived here had a little boy and they didn't get along." 

"No?" Alex asked. 

"No, he was always into trouble, breaking windows with rocks, stealing mail...he even killed the Moscaro's cat!" Reese whispered after looking to see if the girls could hear them. 

"How did he do that?" Alex gasped. 

"Ran the poor thing over with his go cart," Reese shrugged. 

"Mom!" Kari called out as she ran up. "Can I go over and see the tree house with Nora?" 

Reese looked to Alex and Gavin. 

"The front door is open honey, come on back," Gavin told her. 

"Be there in a second Nora!" Kari called out. She ran to the back gate and ran around the house. Within a few seconds she was flying off the back deck and running with Nora towards the tree house. 

"She will be thrilled!" Reese told them. "She was never allowed to see the tree house with the boy, he wouldn't let her, because he thought girls were a pain," Reese mimicked. "And we wouldn't let her go over there with him afraid he would tie her to the go kart in some sort of Mad Max: Beyond Thuderdome stunt!" 

"Don't blame you!" Gavin chuckled. 

"So you said fiancé?" Reese asked. 

"Yes," Alex nodded. "We are getting married. No firm date set yet as Nora was just placed with us." 

The look on Reese's face told Alex she didn't understand. 

"My sister passed away," Alex explained. "We got custody." 

"I'm sorry," Reese said softly. 

"Thank you," Alex nodded. 

"Mom!" Kari called out as the girls waved from the window of the tree house. The three adults waved back. "Can I spend the night here with Nora?" 

"First off, it's a school night. Second, the temperature is supposed to be in the mid-forties," Reese told her shaking her head. 

"It would probably be helpful if we actually owned the house," Alex called out. 

"Aunt Alex!" Nora called out. "We have to buy this house!" 

Gavin started chuckling and walked away pulling his phone out. 

"What do you guys do for a living?" Reese laughed and shook her head. 

"I'm an artist, Gavin is a doctor," Alex told her. "You?" 

"I'm a lawyer," Reese told her. "The soon to be ex-husband is a professor at the University of Chicago. He has an affinity for college co-eds!" Alex tried to control her surprise. 

"Note the amount of venom I spew anytime I talk about the two timing bastard and you can tell it is fairly recent," Reese laughed at herself. 

"Didn't notice," Alex laughed with her. 

"Uncle Gavin!" Nora called out. "Can we stay here tonight? Kari and I want to sleep up here! It's really warm!" 

"There is about a thousand pieces of paper to sign, then we have to come up with the money to buy it...how much money do you have?" Gavin teased. 

"Uncle Gavin! I can't afford a place like this!" Nora told him. 

"Well, what makes you think I can?" Gavin continued his teasing. 

"You could sell your car!" Nora suggested. 

"I'm not selling my car! I'd sell you before I sold my car!" Gavin deadpanned as he rolled his eyes. 

"Uncle Gavin! Puulleeese?" Nora begged putting on her most desperate plea face. 

"Good God," Gavin smiled shaking his head. "Do you think that is actually going to work with me?" He asked her in disbelief she would try such a ploy. 

"Yes," Nora and Alex said at the same time. 

"I'm that easy?" Gavin asked her. Nora laughed as she ducked back into the tree house. He looked to Alex and shrugged. 

*** 

Chapter 60 

Alex directed the moving men as they brought the furniture in from the condo. It was an unseasonably warm spring day, the winter passed slowly as they waited for the paperwork to make its way through the channels to officially put the house in their name. They would sometimes take night drives out to it to keep Nora happy. She would play with Kari and Alex and Reese would enjoy the company of each other. 

Now with the movers Alex was swamped with work. Directing traffic, trying to keep Nora from being underfoot and unpacking boxes as they came in. Gavin showed up by mid-afternoon and saw Alex stuffing her hair back in her bandana. 

"I'm just going to run out to the treehouse and play with Nora," Gavin suggested. "I would just be in the way here!" 

"You make one move towards that treehouse, and that will be your permanent address!" Alex threatened with a smile. 

"Is that a fact?" Gavin laughed as he set his bag down and came into the living room where she was putting things up. "Can I change my clothes or should I just ruin a couple thousand dollar suit?" 

"Only if I can come up with you!" Alex teased as he kissed her. 

"If you come up, you will be tied up for some time," Gavin winked with his innuendo. 

"Can't think of a better way to be!" Alex told him. 

"I'm going to change," Gavin told her. "But hold that thought!" 

"Yes, Sir," Alex smiled. 

Gavin and Alex spent hours unpacking, taking time out only to direct the movers or to check on Nora who was playing in the backyard with Kari. Taking a couple cans of soda out back for the girls he found them sitting on the bottom step of the tree house engrossed in a magazine. 

As he got closer he realized what they were looking at. 

"Whoa!" he called out with a laugh snatching it from Nora's hands. "Where did you get that?" Gavin asked them. 

"It was in the cabinet in the tree house," Nora told him. 

"Dr. Gavin," Kari said to him. "Why were all those men and women naked?" 

"Uh," Gavin's brain scrambled as he put the adult magazine behind his back. "It's a medical magazine that helps doctors learn about bodies!" Gavin struggled with his laugh. "It's for doctors only!" Gavin scolded. "Do either of you have a medical degree?" He asked them. They shook their heads as one. 

"Then, you have no business looking at this," Gavin told them. "This is for an advanced class, first you have to do four years of college before you even get to look at these!" 

"College?" Nora gasped. "I'm hoping to pass fourth grade!" 

"Are there any more of these up there?" Gavin asked them. 

The two girls looked to each other and smiled. 

"Go inside, pizza is here," Gavin said with a shake of his head. "I'll get the rest of the medical journals and put them with my old college books." 

"Do you know all that stuff in there?" Kari asked. 

"I'm pretty sure I do," Gavin laughed with some embarrassment. "Go. Eat." 

The girls ran towards the house and disappeared inside. Gavin went into the treehouse and gathered the rest of the magazines. Most were hard core porn with men and women in various scenes of sex. Gavin shook his head in disbelief. 

"The boy must have been the anti-Christ!" Gavin laughed. "Killing cats, breaking windows and into hardcore porn!" 

"The girls said there was some medical books out here?" Alex's voice called up to him. He stuck his head out the window and saw Reese with her. Gavin rolled his eyes and tossed her one of the magazines. Both women gasped and looked up at him. 

"What kind of kid was this?" he asked Reese. "I mean for the love of God! I didn't see my first Playboy until Jr. High! These are so hard core I probably didn't see anything like them until college!" 

"How many are up there?" Alex asked him. 

"Uh, ten or twelve?" Gavin said ducking back inside. 

"Medical journals?" Reese asked with a laugh as he came out stooped over to get out the small door. 

"It was the best I could come up with!" Gavin explained. "Let me tell you, the last thing I expected was to find our girls looking at a porno mag when I came out here!" 

Reese was flipping through the pages. Alex looked to Gavin then to Reese. 

"Want to take it home?" Alex teased. 

"I don't think that position is even possible!" Reese complained showing Alex. "Why do these slut magazines show women as some sort of bendy 'I take it in all holes like a pro' fashion?" She asked closing the magazine. 

"You mean there are women out there that actually do that?" Gavin asked snatching the magazine back. 

"No," Reese and Alex laughed. 

"Bummer," Gavin laughed as he walked towards the trash can and found an open bag to dump the magazines in and tied it off again. 

The five of them ate pizza and laughed at all the work still needed to be done. 

"Hey," Gavin began as his smiled tipped at the corners. "I gotta patient I just remembered I needed to see tomorrow!" he teased after Alex listed all the things left to do. 

"Again, try that and the treehouse will become your permanent home!" Alex laughed with the other girls. 

"Well, I better get my medical journals out of the can then!" Gavin shrugged as he took a drink of his beer. 

Alex and Reese threw pieces of pizza crust at him that he had to fend off with his hands. 

*** 

Lying in bed that night in the safe position they listened to the silence in the house. There were no sirens of the city going off. It was eerily quiet. 

"That will take some getting used to," Gavin told her in the dark. 

"The quiet?" 

"Yeah," Gavin nodded in the dark. "I mean the condo was quiet but you could still hear the sirens from time to time!" 

"This reminds me of back home," Alex admitted. "Small town quiet." 

She felt his cock twitch slightly in his shorts. 

"How tired are you?" she smiled in the dark. 

"I'm not that tired!" he replied. 

"Please?" 

He moved to push her up to where she was lying on the pillows. He kissed her gently and began to kiss his way down. Soon she arched her back involuntarily as he found her sacred space between her legs. She bit her lip to keep from crying out. 

Gavin slowly used the tip of his tongue to trace the outside of her lips, the soft feel of his hot tongue caused her to lift her hips slightly as he moved his mouth over her. He suckled her sex into his mouth and let it go, only to bring it back in again. With each flick of his tongue across her clit she convulsed slightly. Her hands took hold of his hair and pulled him in tighter and she smiled. 

"What am I going to say?" he asked her from within the folds of her sex. 

"Fuck!" Alex coughed out as she let go and wrapped her fingers in the sheets to keep from making the same mistake again. 

"Better," he laughed as his voice reverberated off her soft, sensitive flesh. 

Her body began to twist under his manipulations, she began to turn so much he finally had to run one of his hands up her body to push her flat again. She came with a soft cry that had her body flopping back on the bed. 

He moved his body to where they were laying side by side, in a sideways '69' position. Alex wasted no time in taking his cock out and devouring it. He continued to work her with his tongue, sometimes matching her ferocity on her sex making her cum. When Alex came she couldn't continue sucking, she would just hold his cock in her mouth and moan around the sides of it. 

He pulled his cock out after her third orgasm making her protest with a soft whimper. He flipped her over and pulled her hips up. He moved between her legs and guided his cock into her heat easily, causing her to toss her head back and her eyes to close as she moaned out her pleasure. 

Gavin smiled as he took hold of her hair and held her there, her neck craned as he started to thrust into her from behind. Fucking her with long slow thrusts making her body shake with his force. With his weight he pushed her flat after a while and then brought his legs up on either side of her hips, diving his cock deeper into her. 

He pulled her hair to the side and kissed her mouth hard, letting their tongues dance as he continued to thrust his cock into her, making her grunt with every forward thrust due to its depth. In this position he always seemed to be hitting spots never before touched. It sometimes brought a small wisp of pain as he bottomed out in her, but it was always fleeting. 

His hips increased their speed and soon he was deep within her, his mouth suckling on the back of neck as he shot pulsating streams of hot cum deep within her causing her to sigh blissfully as he laid on top of her, covering her body with his. Leaving his cock within her. 

"I love this," she whispered. "And I adore you." 

Gavin said nothing as he continued to kiss her neck and cheek gently. Nuzzling her ear and nibbling from time to time. 

*** 

She woke the next morning alone in bed, she hadn't heard his phone go off and she hoped he wasn't on a call. Walking out of her new bedroom she was a bit disoriented at first as the new home was not as open as the condo. 

She found Nora already at the breakfast table eating cereal. 

"Morning baby," Alex said hugging the child from behind and kissing her head. 

"Morning," Nora laughed as Alex gave her a quick tickle. 

"Have you seen Uncle Gavin?" Alex asked as she put a cup in the Keurig and pushed the button to start a brew. 

"He's in the basement," Nora told her pointing towards the door. 

"What's he doing down there?" Alex asked her going to the door and looking down the stairs. Nora shrugged and Alex went down the stairs. She found Gavin standing in the middle of the basement just staring at the rafters. 

"Morning," she called out. 

"Morning Beautiful," he said still deep in thought. He reached up and hung on the wood rafter above his head. 

"What's up?" she asked him when he let go. 

"Just wondering how much weight the rafters will hold," Gavin said giving them a shake. 

"Thinking of hanging a punching bag up or something?" Alex asked him. 

He had mentioned making the basement a workout room. Now that they were out of the condo they wouldn't be able to use the building's gym. They would either have to join a gym or make their own. 

"No," Gavin smiled. "I was thinking of hanging you from the ceiling!" He smiled. 

"I have always wanted a 'red room'," he teased referencing a popular BDSM book. Alex shook her head. 

"That man was not a Dom," Alex told him. "You are a Dom, he was a joke." 

"Still," Gavin shrugged. "I think I will stop by the hardware store and pick a few things. This basement may give us a chance to expand our playground a bit!" 

"Are you serious?" Alex blushed. 

"Can't you see yourself in one of those sex swings you have been wanting to try?" Gavin asked her. Alex covered her mouth in disbelief then nodded when he looked at her. 

"I am up for anything you want!" Alex said when his eyes closed slightly. She looked around and then shrugged as she started to go back upstairs leaving Gavin to his planning. 

"And to think I used to be scared of basements!" Alex laughed. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 44



Chapter 61 

Opening the door brought a smile to Alex's face. 

"Good morning!" Madelyn smiled. 

"Good morning!" Alex returned as Madelyn hugged her. Alex then moved to the side and let the woman in and watched her look around. 

"I thought it was about time to come and take a look at your new home!" Madelyn smiled as she looked upon the auburn haired beauty. 

"Thank you, Mistress," Alex bowed her head. 

"How are you guys getting along out here in the burbs?" Madelyn smiled hooking her arm into Alex's. 

"Good," Alex sighed and guided Madelyn to the living room. "Nora is happier now, has a friend right next door who plays with her daily. They are almost inseparable now!" 

"That's fantastic!" Madelyn beamed as she sat on the sofa and Alex joined her. "I was worried about her after Gavin told me about no other kids there in the condo!" 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "I don't know if Gavin was ready to move out here, but he initiated everything. I hope he was ready." She smiled weakly. 

"One thing I know about Gavin," Madelyn patted her hand. "If he wasn't ready, he wouldn't have moved!" 

"I hope so," Alex shrugged. 

"What's wrong?" Madelyn asked her. 

Alex shook her head, she forgot that Madelyn was as adept at reading people as Gavin was, so hiding anything from her would be impossible. How does she tell this woman who is as close to Gavin as she was? Perhaps even more, Madelyn, without a doubt, had taken the position of mother to Gavin. Madelyn was also protective of him as well. 

"Gavin has had his life flipped upside down now," Alex admitted wringing her hands a bit. Something Madelyn didn't miss as she put her hands on Alex's to keep her from doing it. 

"I'm afraid, my coming into his life isn't what he expected, or wanted," Alex continued. "I mean, going from bachelor and Dom, a life that was perfectly orderly, to a life with a demanding sub whose family rears its ugly head to show just how horrible they can be." 

Alex got up and went to the bay window and looked out towards the neighborhood. 

"I mean, what kind of family attacks its own to the point of suicide?" Alex asked. Her voice shaking a bit as she thought of Livy. "Then to have his life destroyed by having a child brought into his orderly world. Going from happy bachelor to father figure overnight." 

"Moving way out here, amongst the 'Joneses' with their mini vans and soccer practice," Alex continued. "How much upheaval can he take? I know my Sir likes order, but ever since I came into his life...I have brought nothing but chaos!" 

Alex stood there, the silence filling the large living room as she waited for Madelyn to respond. The warm sun filing in through the bay window couldn't stop the cold shiver that ran through her when she heard Madelyn take in a deep breath and sigh noisily. 

"Are you through feeling sorry for yourself?" Madelyn asked her. This caused Alex to look over her shoulder at the elderly woman. 

"Let's clear up a few things, shall we?" Madelyn asked her patting the seat next to her in a not so subtle command for Alex to return. 

"First," Madelyn smiled after Alex returned as order. "You aren't giving him what he wants." Madelyn let that hang in the air for what seemed like an eternity and Alex's heart flopped and she nearly vomited on the new couch. 

"You are giving him what he needs," Madelyn finally told her. "In life, we don't have to get what we want...but we have to get what we need." Alex tilted her head and looked at Madelyn. 

"Make no mistake, my beautiful Alexandria," Madelyn smiled. "I know him better than anyone, and that includes you. You are exactly what he needs." 

"You are pushing him into waters he never dreamed of," Madelyn smiled. "Marriage? Kids? No, I'm telling you not since Carla has he thought of those things. I wondered if there was anyone who could push her from his mind." 

Alex sat there thinking of that, surely Madelyn was speaking the truth. She had no problem speaking it, no matter the repercussion. She also wasn't one to withhold her opinion to save feelings either. 

"I knew that first night," Madelyn smiled. "You were going to destroy his empty, unfulfilling, albeit orderly life." 

"And in the most fantastic, loving way," Madelyn smiled. "No, my dear Alexandria, you have turned his world into chaos...but that is what love is. Chaos, it swirls around us, tips us off balance and makes us reevaluate everything we thought we wanted." 

Alex took Madelyn into her arms and hugged her. 

"Thank you," she whispered as the single tear rolled down her nose. 

"Oh, sweetie, no need to thank me," Madelyn assured her. "It is I who should be thanking you, for saving my Gavin!" 

"I don't feel like I've saved him as much as he rescued me!" Alex smiled pulling back. 

"Then you both have the right frame of mind," Madelyn nodded. "If you both think you aren't good enough for the other, then you will continue to strive to please one another, to prove your worthiness." Alex nodded that she agreed as she wiped the tear free from her eye. 

"Now," Madelyn exhaled. "I talked to your father last night, he sounded stronger." 

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "He is feeling...wait...you talked to my father?" 

"Yes," Madelyn said in a tone of 'duh, of course I have'. 

"Why would you be speaking to my father?" Alex asked her. 

"I believe we are waiting on him to recover to walk you down the aisle!" Madelyn told her. "We have a wedding to get to." Alex laughed. 

"With all that we have been going through," Alex shrugged. "I guess the wedding became secondary. I don't need the man to marry me, I'm happy enough just being in his life!" 

"No, no, no," Madelyn shook her head. "Neither of you need to be married to each other...I need you to be married. Call me selfish, but I want to see my son married before I'm dead. I was beginning to wonder...now I know it's going to happen." 

"Want or need?" Alex teased. 

"Need," Madelyn said firmly. "I need to make sure Gavin has the right woman in his life to make him truly happy. You do that." Alex beamed. 

"Now," Madelyn continued. "Al seems to think he is ready now, Gavin says it could be a few months. What do you think?" 

"I know my dad," Alex frowned. "He would put himself in jeopardy for me...so when Gavin says he is ready, I will believe he is ready." 

"Ok," Madelyn frowned. "So, we wait until next spring?" 

"Spring?" 

"Dearie," Madelyn laughed. "Spring is the best time to marry, the blooms will be stunning at my house then!" 

"Yes ma'am," Alex laughed with her. "It seems so long!" 

"It is," Madelyn agreed. "But according to Gavin, Al won't be fully ready until the end of the summer. That leaves the fall, but an outdoor wedding in the fall? In northern Illinois? Not in your dress!" 

"My dress?" Alex asked. Madelyn nodded. "You've seen my dress?" Madelyn nodded again. 

"What does it look like?" Alex blurted excitedly. 

"Stunningly elegant," Madelyn said with a dreamy sigh. "But sexy." 

"When can I see it?" Alex asked her. 

"As soon as you fly to New York," Madelyn shrugged. "That's where I saw it. It is sitting in Carolina's office." 

"She has it in her office?" Alex repeated. Madelyn nodded. 

"I think she is still tinkering with it," Madelyn shrugged. 

"Is it going to be super expensive?" Alex carefully asked. 

"Define expensive?" Madelyn asked. 

"Like more than a couple thousand?" Alex asked. 

"We obviously have different ideas of what 'expensive' means," laughed Madelyn. 

"You are not going to tell me, are you?" Alex asked her when Madelyn sat staring at her with a smug grin. 

"No," Madelyn said bluntly. "It's not any of your business since it's my gift to you. And it's rude to ask the price of a gift. I won't discuss it!" 

"It's my wedding," Alex pointed out. 

"Which I'm paying for," Madelyn countered. "Therefore, costs are my concern, not yours." 

"But," 

"I'm not quarreling with you again over this," Madelyn cut her off sharply. "That is done!" 

"Yes Mistress," Alex said shaking her head. 

"Now," Madelyn smiled picking up her hand. "How about a tour of your new home?" 

"Of course," Alex agreed with a forced smile. 

*** 

"Good afternoon Maole!" Alex called out as she entered the back room where he was directing a hanging of one of Alex's paintings. 

"Oh, thank God!" Maole called out as he saw her. "I have been trying to get a hold of you all day!" 

"Sorry," Alex smiled as he hugged her. "I was with Madelyn all afternoon." 

"Madelyn," Maole shook his head. "And this must be the beautiful Princess Nora!" Maole smiled looking down at her. Nora stuck out her hand and nodded. Maole laughed as he enclosed his long black fingers around her tiny hand. 

"What do you ladies think?" Maole asked them sweeping his arm around the room. 

"I can't believe you are giving me a whole room!" Alex gasped again in disbelief. 

"Oh, sweetheart," Maole said shaking his head. "You should see the responses I have received since I sent out the invitations!" 

"Anybody and everybody is coming! I have professional athletes, Congressmen, actors, directors...owners of multi-billion dollar companies and heads of state coming! Including the ambassador of Japan!" 

"Jesus!" Alex gasped. 

"I know!" Maole agreed. "This place is going to be packed!" 

"That is just incredible!" Alex told him in a near whisper. 

"I hope you have been working?" Maole asked her carefully. "I know you have been going through a lot, but I don't think I have enough art!" 

"I haven't been," Alex admitted. "There has been so much going on!" Maole frowned. "How much more do you need?" 

"As much as you can paint!" Maole gasped. "I'm thinking there will be just over four hundred people here...they will be tripping over themselves to buy!" 

Alex rubbed her forehead, she hadn't painted since Livy's death. She hadn't even picked up a brush! 

"I'm sorry," Alex finally shrugged. "I haven't any desire to paint." 

"I understand," Maole said with a gentle hand to her shoulder. "What we have will be fine, but it just means I might have to auction them off instead of just selling them outright. It will mean more money for you!" 

"No, no auctions," Alex told him. "Just take names of those who don't get something, I will get back to work and they can have first dibs." 

"Ok," Maole shrugged. 

Walking out of the art gallery Alex stopped and looked around at the city. 

"Aunt Alex?" Nora called from below. 

"Yes baby?" Alex said still deep in thought. 

"Why haven't you been painting?" 

"No time," Alex smiled. 

"Am I taking up all your time?" Nora asked her. Alex squatted down to her. 

"No," Alex shook her head. "We have been busy, with the move, the packing, the new school...everything!" 

Alex watched the little girl drop her head and Alex tilted it up with a finger. 

"What's wrong?" Alex asked her. 

"I don't want to be a problem," Nora told her. 

"You," Alex said holding her face. "Are not a problem! You have made Gavin and I so happy! We love you, we love that you are with us...you are never a problem! You are a blessing!" Nora nodded and Alex pulled the girl into her arms. 

*** 

The next day, Nora was playing on the swings with some classmates when a group of children walked over. 

"Hey new girl!" one of the boys called out. Nora turned and recognized him as one of the boys who had been calling her names in the hallway. 

"What?" Nora said to him scanning the others that had come along. 

"I heard you were adopted?" the boy laughed. Nora's face burned with embarrassment as the other kids laughed. "I bet you were, you are ugly enough!" 

"Leave me alone," Nora demanded. 

"Or what?" the boy asked her as he took a step closer to her. 

"Leave me alone!" Nora demanded again. 

The boy gave her a little push and she glared at him. 

"Yeah," the boy laughed. "I'm guessing that a girl as ugly and stupid as you would have to be put up for adoption. No mother or father would want a piece of shit like you!" 

"Don't say that," said a girl coming to Nora's defense. 

"Shut up," the boy barked at her. "Your parents are hired help here, that's the only reason you can afford to go to this school!" The girl dropped her head. 

"So, did your mom and dad just dump you on the doorstep of an orphanage or what?" the boy continued to taunt. Nora turned away and tried to escape the laughter. 

"I heard her mother is dead," came a voice from behind the boy. Nora stopped. 

"Is that it?" the boy asked. "Did Mommy die? After seeing you, I bet she killed herself because she felt guilty that she brought a piece of shit like you into the world!" This got the group laughing. 

The boy turned his head to look to his compatriots as they laughed with him. When he turned Nora was already in mid-swing as she punched the boy squarely in the nose, causing it to explode with blood. 

This got the group to gasp in disbelief, but Nora didn't stop there. She straddled the fallen boy as he held is nose and she began to pummel his face, screaming in anger the entire time as tears raced down her face. 

"Hey stop it!" one of the boy's friends called out to her. "You're hurting him!" 

Nora didn't stop, instead she let out a string of obscenities as she pounded on the cowering boy with her tiny balled up fists. The boy was doing his best to defend himself but the hands were coming too fast. 

*** 

"Hello, this is Dr. Steward," Gavin said into his phone as he didn't recognize the number that showed up on his ID screen. 

"Dr. Steward," the voice greeted. "This is Father Andor at St. Timothy." 

"Father," Gavin said turning from his patient. "Is Nora ok?" 

"Um, yes, sort of," Andor told him. "She is not harmed, but there was an incident...we have been trying to get in touch with Miss Lasko, but have so far been unable." 

"What happened?" Gavin asked. 

"It seems Nora got into a fight, on the playground," Andor told him. 

"Is she alright?" Gavin gasped. 

"Yes, she is fine," Andor assured him. "A little shaken up, quite angry, it's the boy who was injured a great deal." 

"I'm on my way," Gavin told him. "Keep trying to get a hold of Alex!" 

Gavin made his apologies to his patient who waved him off and sent him on his way. Gavin raced through town getting to St. Timothy in record time. His tires squealed to a stop in the parking lot. Barely waiting for the car to come to a complete halt he jumped out and ran into the school. 

Turning into the office he saw Nora sitting just outside of the Dean's office, her head down as she picked at her uniform. 

"Hey baby," Gavin called out to her. Nora instantly began to bawl and wrapped her tiny arms around Gavin's neck and clutched tightly. 

"That's ok baby," Gavin cooed. "It's ok, you're fine." 

Nora couldn't talk, instead she just held him and cried, flooding his collar with tears. Gavin held her tightly knowing she needed only to be held right now. The trembling in his arms told him she was scared of what was going to happen to her. Probably scared because she had hurt someone. Scared of what her new parents were going to say to her. 

Gavin finally pulled away from her when she let loose her arms around his neck. He pulled the handkerchief from his suit jacket and wiped her face. 

"Are you ok?" he asked her as he did a cursory search of her, looking for injuries from the fight. He found only her hands swollen and red from where she hit the boy. There was some blood on her shirt, but he didn't know if that was from Nora or the boy. 

"I'm sorry Uncle Gavin!" Nora finally gasped. 

The school secretary brought Nora a cup of water. Her hands shook as she took it from the woman and Gavin held his around hers to steady them. 

"It's ok, do you want to tell me what happened?" Gavin asked her. Nora dropped her head again after taking a drink. "Go slow." 

Nora told Gavin what had happened. What the awful boy had said to her. What she had done. 

"I couldn't stop!" Nora whispered at the end. "I just couldn't stop!" She began to cry again and Gavin pulled her into his lap and held her. 

The secretaries in the office smile comfortingly at him as he kissed her head. Father Andor came into the office and looked at them. 

"Dr. Steward," Andor said quietly. "How is she?" 

"Shaken up," Gavin told him. "How is the boy?" 

"A lot worse off!" Andor grimaced. 

"Do you want me to take a look?" Gavin offered. 

"No, the school nurse is capable of taking care of him," Andor shrugged. "Why don't we step into my office?" Andor suggested and led the way. Gavin set her down and held her hand as they followed. 

"We are waiting for Mr. and Mrs. Papin," Andor told him. "They are the boy's parents." Gavin nodded as he stroked Nora's hair. 

*** 

Alex's Mercedes came to stop and she jumped out and ran into the building in a full sprint. She had been out in her new studio working, she was so wrapped up in it she hadn't heard the phone. When she saw her light flashing on her cell phone she realized she hadn't taken it off the sleep mode from the overnight. 

She only heard a little about a fight at school with Nora involved. After that she was running to her car and speeding through the neighborhood to get to St. Timothy. She saw Gavin's car and that made her feel a little better. Gavin was here at least. 

Running into the office the look of panic caused the secretary to hold up her hands. 

"She's fine!" the woman told her immediately. "She is with Dr. Steward and Dean Andor in his office." The woman waved her back and Alex took a deep breath before knocking and then entering the Dean's office. 

"I'm sorry Aunt Alex," Nora blurted out as she began crying again. Alex scooped the small girl from her seat and held her in her arms as she sat next to Gavin. Gavin was holding Nora's hand. 

"It's ok baby," Alex assured her. "Whatever it is, we will work through it." Nora nodded into Alex's coveralls. 

"Please tell me that isn't wet paint?" Andor teased as Alex looked to him, then her paint covered overalls. 

"No!" she laughed. "I mean, it should be dry by now!" Alex laughed uncomfortably but the look on Andor's face told her he was joking. 

"We are waiting for the boy's parents," Gavin told her. 

"What happened?" she asked him. 

"Nora and the boy got into a fight," Gavin explained softly as he stroked the small girl's hair. "Guess she beat him up pretty good." 

"Oh my God!!" Alex gasped. She looked to Nora who couldn't look her in the eyes. 

The door opened up and the boy's parents walked in. 

"There is the little brat!" Mr. Papin barked upon letting his eyes fire up seeing Nora. Alex was about to say something when Gavin stood up quickly. 

"Brat? If your boy hadn't been an asshole, my little Nora wouldn't have had to kick his ass!" Gavin barked suddenly causing the man to take a step backward. "How dare you! Come in here with your attitude and insult my little girl? You had better watch your step and your mouth or your boy won't be the only one getting an ass kicking!" 

"Enough!" Andor barked causing both men to quiet. "This is not good for Nora." 

Alex sat there stunned that the normally calm and reserved Gavin appeared on the verge of getting into a fist fight. Flashes of Royce and Gavin's brief fight at Madelyn's that first night came to her. It also appeared that Mr. Papin wasn't expecting it either as he had moved away and sat at the far seat away from them. 

"Dr. Steward?" Andor said to Gavin who was still staring down the boy's father. "Doctor?" Gavin shifted his eyes to the Dean. "Please?" Andor asked pointing to Gavin's chair. Gavin sat down and let out a deep exhale. 

"Miss Nora," Andor shifted his tone to one of soft and comforting. "I need to talk to your parents and the Papin's." Nora nodded. "Do you feel up to sitting outside by yourself? If not, I can have Ms. Davies come down and sit with you." 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 44



"No," Nora said softly. "I'll be fine." 

"That's my girl," Andor smiled. "It will be just a few minutes. If you need her, have the secretary call Ms. Davies." 

Nora nodded and slid from Alex's lap who reluctantly let her go. Nora stood on her tiptoes and kissed Gavin on the cheek and then kissed Alex in way of an apology. Gavin kissed her back. 

"Don't worry baby doll," Gavin whispered. "We are not mad at you." 

Nora nodded but she didn't believe that. She had heard her father tell her that many times only to see him yell at her later when he had the time. Nora closed the door behind her and took her spot back in the chair outside. The secretary gave her a reassuring smile while she picked up the phone. Within minutes, Ms. Davies walked into the office and took a seat next to Nora and held her hand. 

"It will be ok," Ms. Davies assured her. "We all make mistakes." Nora nodded. 

Andor let out a deep sigh and leaned onto his desk. 

"That girl had better be expelled!" Mrs. Papin demanded causing Alex and Gavin to look to her. "Children should not have to be exposed to that type of violence! My son is scared to death now!" 

"If I'm going to expel anyone," Andor began. "It will be Lance." This caused all four adults to snap their head to them. 

"What?" Mr. Papin barked. 

"We have a zero tolerance policy on bullying here at St. Timothy," Andor told them. "Punishable by suspension all the way up to expulsion!" 

"My son doesn't bully!" Mrs. Papin gasped. "He's an angel!" 

Andor dropped his head. 

"Mrs. Papin," Andor began slowly. "Your son has spent more time in my office for picking on the other students than the rest of the students combined!" 

"What?" 

"You haven't seen the disciplinary notices we send home?" Andor asked surprised. "Why do you think he has been staying late a lot of nights?" 

"He says he's on the basketball team!" Mrs. Papin told him. 

"He was kicked off the team," Andor said shaking his head at her naïveté. "And it's not even basketball season anymore, we are in track season." 

Mrs. Papin looked to her husband. 

"He's a typical boy, causing some mischief!" Mr. Papin told her. "There was nothing to tell you." 

"You've known?" Mrs. Papin asked him. "And you didn't tell me?" 

"Tell her that all boys act up," Mr. Papin asked Andor. 

"To a degree, but your son has taken it too far," Andor told him. 

"Here is what we know," Andor said holding his hands up to stop the marital argument before it could continue. "I have talked to several of the students, including Nora and Lance. It seems Lance has been bullying Nora since her first day. Calling her names, messing with her books...," 

"Hardly something that should require her breaking his nose!" Mr. Papin barked. 

"Nora broke his nose?" Alex gasped, a small smile of pride creeping up. Andor frowned at her small smile but she could see behind his eyes he was smiling. 

"Yes," Andor told her. "The nurse believes so." 

"And you're right, none of that would warrant a broken nose," Andor continued. "And none of that caused the broken nose. It seems the kids have found out that Nora's mother has passed. He told Nora that her mother must have..." Andor looked to Alex and paused. "Brace yourself," he warned her. 

"He said Nora's mother must have committed suicide because, and I quote 'Nora was so ugly'," Andor said looking at his notes before looking to Alex. 

"Doesn't sound so horrible to me!" Mr. Papin said angrily. "Sounds like normal kid's insults." 

"Nora's mother did commit suicide," Alex snapped. 

"Oh my God," Mrs. Papin gasped. 

"So that gives her permission to hit my son?" Mr. Papin growled. Andor held up his hand as soon as Gavin took in a deep breath to begin his verbal assault. 

"The girl hasn't dealt with her mother's death completely," Andor told Papin. "Until she confronts it...it will always be a sensitive issue!" He defended. "Now normally comments like that don't hit a mark, because most of the time it's just nothing. But for Nora...well it's not nothing." Papin sat back angrily. 

"So what are you going to do?" Mrs. Papin asked him. 

"I'm giving them both in school suspension," Andor told them. "They will be sent to the detention hall with their work and will work away from the other students. They will receive no recess, and they will serve after school late stay." 

"But you aren't kicking them out?" Mrs. Papin asked. 

"No," Andor told her. 

"I think the police should get involved," Mr. Papin demanded. "That little girl should be charged!" 

Andor reached for his phone and Alex gasped thinking he was actually doing it. 

"Would you have the school resource officer come in here, please," Andor sighed. Within a few minutes a man walked in. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Papin, Dr. Steward and Miss Lasko," Andor said beginning introductions. "This is Officer Amond Code, he is with the Chicago Police Department, he is also what we call our resource officer, DARE officer and school security." 

The tall man nodded at the four parents and sat in a chair to the right of Andor. 

"The Papin's believe Nora should be charged," Andor told him. Code shook his head. 

"First off, we don't charge children with battery in cases like this," Code told them. "This was a school fight, it wasn't anything...for lack of a better term...malicious." 

"Have you seen my son?" Mr. Papin barked. 

"I have," Code nodded. "But it was a fight he started." 

"My son never laid a hand on her!" Papin railed. 

"No, Nora got the upper hand and didn't hold back," Code said with a shrug. "Now of course you can go down the precinct and file charges, but I can pretty much guarantee that as soon as a judge sees it, they will bounce it out as a school fight, not worthy of criminal charges. Especially seeing how it's a first offence for Nora." 

"Well perhaps we should just sue?" Papin said looking to Gavin who smiled. 

"Again," Code continued. "I don't think you will get much more than medical costs, if that, seeing how Nora has a right to defend herself." 

"Defend herself? She attacked my son!" Papin nearly yelled. 

"Your son approached her," Code said firmly. "He did so in a menacing manner with a group of his friends. Nora said she was not only angered, but afraid. She tried to walk away, something even your son admits to her doing. Your son continued with his bullying, resulting in Nora defending herself." 

"Defending herself?" Papin gasped as his face reddened with his anger. "She physically attacked my son, something my son didn't do to her!" 

"But she still felt threatened," Code reiterated. "He surrounded her with his friends. HE taunted her, HE was taller, bigger, and stronger...not only the fact he was a boy. HE had his friends around him, Nora was alone." 

"No, Mr. Papin," Code finished as he sat back. "If you do pursue this, my report will go into record as saying Nora defended herself against bullying she has been enduring for months. Something I recommended he be suspended for at least six weeks ago when he was picking on another student. See it's not just Nora he is bullying, there are several students he has been working over." 

"Sounds like he got what was coming to him," Gavin shrugged. 

"We do not condone violence here, Dr. Steward," Andor warned him. 

"I do not condone my child having to endure the bullying from another child," Gavin retorted. "It sounds like you have had plenty of reason to expel him but didn't. So my lawyer may just decide this school has not properly protected its students and he may want to countersue to make up for the lack of administrative control. I mean, if we are lawyering up and all." This caused Alex to glance at him. 

"I have to protect my Nora," Gavin finished sitting back. "I mean, if this school won't protect her...I will." Andor shook his head. 

"As a matter of fact," Gavin said standing up. "Based on what I heard? I suggest you rethink your decision to punish her. It sounds like she had to take matters in her own hands because you wouldn't protect her." 

"Mr. Papin," Gavin said turning to him. "If your son so much as looks at my little girl again, I swear to God, I will teach her to put him in the hospital." 

Alex sat there slack jawed. She was stunned. Gavin making threats? Holy shit! Gavin walked out and took Nora's hand and led her from the office. Alex sat in her chair watching them leave, her heart swelling with love and pride for both parties. 

Alex looked to Andor who had his little smirk going, she could tell he didn't take what Gavin said personally. She gave him a shrug. 

"As you can see," Alex said picking up her purse. "He is very protective of her. She will be spoked to at home, but I can assure you, we will tell her to defend herself if a similar situation occurs again." With that Alex made her way out. 

*** 

"Am I in trouble?" Nora asked as they sat around the table. 

"Yes," Gavin said firmly. "We do not believe in violence." 

Alex cast a quick glance at him before looking back to Nora. 

"It doesn't solve anything," Gavin explained. "Hurting people isn't the way to fix problems." 

"He was picking on me," Nora explained. 

"I don't care," Gavin said bluntly. "Words do not mean you can hit him. We don't do that in our family." 

Nora stared at the table. Alex watched her carefully. 

"Nora," Alex said causing the girl to look to her with teary eyes. "You can't hit people, I don't care how angry they make you." 

"I'm sorry," Nora cried. "He made me so mad!" 

"Doesn't give you the right to hit him," Gavin told her. 

"What if he would have hit me?" Nora asked him angrily. 

"But he didn't," Gavin said back calmly. "He was doing what cowards do, he bullied. He was saying something that would get you to respond, and you did. With your fists, another cowardly act." 

"Have I been kicked out of school?" Nora asked him. "Sandy said they would kick me out of school." 

"No," Alex said after looking to Gavin. "They haven't kicked you out, they are still thinking about what to do with you. It sounds like you are going to be given what they call in school suspension. Maybe." 

"Maybe," Gavin sighed. Alex could see his jaw muscles tighten and knew if they continued with their plan he was prepared to do something. 

"What are you going to do with me? Send me back to my dad?" Nora asked. This caused Alex to sit back like she had been slapped. 

"Let's get one thing perfectly clear," Gavin said his voice hardening to where Nora sunk lower in her chair. 

"You are not going anywhere," Gavin said, struggling to keep his voice from being too harsh. "Your mother wanted you with your Aunt Alex, it was important to her for you to be with us." Nora nodded. 

"You are our daughter, our responsibility," Gavin continued. "We love you, we will take care of you like our daughter, which is exactly what your mother would have wanted...make no mistake young lady, you belong here with us. There will be no going back to your father except for visits from time to time." 

"Are we clear?" Gavin asked dropping his head to cause her to look him in the eyes. 

"Yes Sir," Nora nodded. 

"Baby, we love you, we want you here with us," Gavin said softer. "At first I didn't know if I could have a child in my life, but now I can't imagine my life without you. You have made your Aunt Alex and I so happy. You have made us a real family, but as with any parent and children, you have to respect us and do what we say...or there will be punishments." Nora nodded again. 

"So," Gavin looked to Alex. "We want you to go up to your room, we have to decide what punishment to give you." 

"Spanking?" Nora asked as she slid from her chair. 

"We don't spank our children," Gavin told her. "Ever." Nora nodded and smiled a relieved smiled. 

"You spank me," Alex teased once she was out of earshot. 

"You are not a child," Gavin grinned. "And you enjoy them." Alex raised her eyebrows and smiled. 

"Was I too rough on her?" Gavin asked her. Alex shook her head. "I have no idea what I'm doing here...I'm just kind of repeating things my father used to say...Jesus, I've become my father!" Gavin blurted out in laughter. "Bet he is laughing his ass off right now!" 

"Then he must have been a fantastic dad, because I thought you were amazing, firm but loving," Alex assured him. "As always." 

"This is not Dom stuff," Gavin told her. 

"It is, without the sex," Alex disagreed. "You have to maintain discipline while continuing to show love...you are an expert at it." 

"What do we do?" Gavin asked her. 

"You are the Dom," Alex said looking to him. "I'm not sure...," 

"No we can't do that when it concerns Nora," Gavin said shaking his head. "With her we cannot be Dom/sub we have to be mother/father, therefore our lifestyle will not be involved and any decisions will be made by us as a parental unit." 

"What do you suggest?" Alex asked him. "Grounding?" 

"At least," Gavin nodded. "She needs to understand the severity of what happened." 

"I think she already does," Alex told him. 

"She hit that boy," Gavin reminded her. "She has to be punished for it." 

"What about your stance at school?" Alex asked him. 

"They cannot punish her, I meant that," Gavin said firmly. "It sounded like the kid needed his ass kicked and the school should have intervened long before Nora, but that still doesn't excuse her behavior. We will punish her in our home, but I will not allow her to be punished there." 

"No," Alex agreed. 

Opening the door Alex found Nora laying on her bed looking at the wall. She looked over to Alex when she walked in. 

"Is Uncle Gavin mad at me still?" Nora asked her. 

"Gavin isn't mad at you," Alex assured her pulling the girl into her side. "He loves you, he wants to protect you, but you have broken rules." 

"And Lance's nose," Nora admitted. Alex barked out a laugh which she quickly stifled. 

"And Lance's nose," Alex repeated. "Why?" 

"Huh?" 

"Why did you hit him?" Alex asked her. "That doesn't sound like my Nora." 

"He said my mother killed herself because of me," Nora whispered. Alex sat there numbly. Her mind scrambled with what to do. How does she handle this? She knew the issue of her mother's suicide would come up sooner or later. Gavin agreed, he even wanted her to start seeing a child psychologist but she wanted to wait. Perhaps that wasn't the best choice now. Now she didn't have the skill she was afraid. 

"Did my mom kill herself because of me?" Nora asked when Alex hesitated. 

"Absolutely not!" Alex gasped. "Baby, your mommy was so confused...she was so scared and confused!" 

"She left me here all alone!" Nora cried out. "It was supposed to be me and her! She promised!" 

Nora tore herself from Alex's grip and flopped face down on the bed and sobbed. Alex could do nothing but pull up alongside of her and hold her while she wept. Alex's eyes streaming tears as she cried with the fragile child. Nora cried so hard for so long that she fell asleep. It was only then that Alex got up and left her. 

"Fuck!" Alex barked in a hiss after she closed the door. "Fuck, fuck fuck! God Dammit Livy!" 

*** 

Nora was washing dishes by hand even though they had a dishwasher. Extra chores were part of the punishment that Alex and Gavin came up with. She also had to write letters of apology to Dean Andor, Ms. Davies and to Lance Papin. At first Nora refused to write the letter to Lance, refusing to apologize. There was a small standoff between Nora and Gavin. She finally broke when Gavin threatened to send her to bed early every night until she wrote the letter. 

Now she stood on a step stool to wash the dishes from dinner. Gavin stood next to her drying the dishes off after she washed them. Alex watched her, she wasn't happy about the punishment, but then again, she shouldn't be. If she enjoyed it, then it wasn't a punishment. Something Gavin teased Alex about later that night when they had their first dishwashing. Alex enjoyed her spankings so they weren't really a punishment. The idea of it caused her to blush at the table as she thought about it while flipping through a magazine. 

"Uncle Gavin?" Nora started as she handed him a plate to dry. 

"Yes?" 

"Do you believe in God?" the little girl asked him. 

"Yes," he said with a nod as he watched her begin with the next plate. 

"Why don't you go to church?" was the next question. 

"Part of it is time, I really don't have any to go to church," Gavin shrugged as he took the plate from her. "Part of it is I don't believe in organized religion." The look on her face told him she didn't understand, which he knew she wouldn't. 

"It's complicated," he explained. "I pray, I believe in Him, but I don't go to church because I don't want someone to tell me how to believe in Him. I don't want someone to tell me that to be a good Christian, I have to pray a certain way, or go to a certain church, or give a certain amount of money to be a good Christian." 

"Then how do you know you are doing it right?" she asked starting with her last plate. 

"My heart tells me I'm doing it right," Gavin shrugged. "See that is how God talks to you, He doesn't come down and talk like we are now...He speaks to your heart." 

"Do you think my Mommy is with Him?" Nora asked softly. 

He knew it was coming, long before it left her lips. It still hit him like a punch. Gavin rested his hands on the sink as he thought about how to explain it to her. Explain the unexplainable? How many centuries has man tried to make sense of the things they didn't understand? Nora finally turned to him and he looked to her. 

"Yes," he said with a nod. "I know she is." 

"How do you know?" 

"Because I asked Him," Gavin shrugged. "And He told my heart she was safe." 

"So I can ask Him questions?" Nora asked him. 

"Of course!" Gavin nodded with a smile. 

"And He will answer?" 

"If you are listening," Gavin nodded. 

"How does my heart listen?" Nora furrowed her brow. "Does it have little ears?" 

"No," Gavin laughed, ignoring Alex's blurt laugh. "When you quiet yourself in prayer, when you are on your knees...if you open your heart and ask Him, He will answer. You will know when He answers...I can't explain it other than to say, you will just know." 

Nora was quiet again as she watched the water drain from the sink. Again, Gavin knew another question was coming, he just hoped it wasn't the one question he couldn't answer. The one question that even had him up at nights sometimes...why? Why, did Livy do this? 

"Uncle Gavin?" 

Please God, not that question, Gavin begged. 

"Yes?" 

"Do you believe in ghosts?" Nora asked him hopping off the stool. Gavin laid the towel he was using on the counter and leaned against it. 

"I don't know," Gavin shrugged. "I've never seen one, so...I don't know." Gavin watched her nod. "How about you, do you believe in ghosts?" 

Nora nodded and went to Alex and kissed her cheek. 

"Can I watch TV now?" Nora asked her. Alex nodded and they both watched her run from the kitchen. 

"Odd," Gavin commented watching the doorway Nora just ran through. 

"Very," Alex agreed. 

*** 

Alex knelt on the floor, the submissive position. After finishing the dishes, Gavin received a call and had to leave. Nora and Alex took turns reading out of a book until she was ready to go to bed. Now she was kneeling on the floor of their new bedroom, she had heard the garage door open and knew Gavin was back from his call. Now she just waited. 

"Damn," Gavin said softly as he closed the door behind him. "I thought you would be asleep by now." 

"No, Sir," Alex smiled, happy to surprise him. "I need my Sir." 

"Do you now?" Gavin grinned as he came to her and ran his fingers gently over her bare shoulders. Her eyes fluttered closed at his gentle touch. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 44



His fingers gently moved lower on her body, down her back causing her to shiver involuntarily. This brought a smile to his face. Two years in and she was still excited by his touch alone. 

"Stand," Gavin commanded softly. Alex rose with her head down, her chest beginning to rise and fall with a quicker pace as her excitement began to simmer. Gavin began a slow walk around her, his fingers brushing her hot skin as he went. 

Across her stomach that she kept tight with her workouts, his finger gently brushing across her navel. A smile inched at the edges of her lips. He continued around her to where he was standing behind her. His fingers running down her hips and under the soft curve of the cheek of her ass. 

"God, I love touching you," he whispered huskily in her ear. "There are times that I can't believe I get to touch you anytime I want." She smiled as he kissed her shoulder. "You are a gift from God, that I know. A gift to make me believe." 

"Thank you Sir," Alex whispered back. "I still don't think I am worthy of you." 

"It is I who lack the worth," Gavin said into her ear as he kissed it. "In my life and dreams, never has someone so spectacular graced it as you do regularly." 

"The things you say...Sir," Alex gasped as he began to nibble on her hot skin. 

"Come with me," he said taking her gently by the hand. "I want to play with you." 

"As you wish," Alex said with a smile. 

"Sit," he told her gently. "Here on the edge." He said patting the bed. She sat formally on the edge. Her hands gently on her thighs, her back straight, her chin down. 

He went to the other side and guided her back gently, she watched through the tops of her eyes as he gently laid her on her back. He went to the dresser and pulled rope out, Alex let her eyes flutter closed in excitement. 

Gently he pulled her arms above her head to the edge of the bed. He started the slow process of one of his intricate knots. First one arm, which he pulled tight and secured to the footboard of the bed. Then he worked the other arm in a similar fashion and pulled it taut to the headboard. 

Alex sat there luxuriating in the feel of his touch, his skill, his love. Everything he did, he did with a tenderness that made her weak in the knees. Even his spankings, which she enjoyed beyond what she would admit to, was done with love. 

Gavin walked around to the other side of the bed, where her feet were. She felt him lift one leg, she watched him pull a strap out and wrap it around her mid-thigh then around her shin after bending her leg in half. Pulling the strap tight, the heel of her foot nestled tightly against the back of her thigh. 

He let his finger probe in between the leather of the strap and her skin. Making sure it was tight, but not hurting her. For her part, Alex did nothing. She laid there looking at the ceiling at times enjoying the feel of his hands on her body, the tightness of her binds. It made her feel safe, she knew that was weird. Especially if she had to explain it to anyone. Here she was, bound to the bed, in an extremely vulnerable position. A position that could result in harm, but she had no fear. Not with Gavin. 

No, instead she felt safe, like in a cocoon of safety. Completely at ease with the exception she knew she was about to be pleased to the point of orgasm. Probably powerful orgasms. It began to make her wet. Before she could even wonder if Gavin noticed he had his hand on her, running a finger across her sex causing her to convulse at the sensitivity she had there now. 

He said nothing after gently running his finger over her slit, hitting her clit at the top and running his thumb across it. He continued his task, pulling another strap out to bind her other leg as he had done the first. Once both legs were bent and strapped he tied the strap with rope and pulled it tight to the footboard, causing her leg to open wide. He repeated the process with the other leg, tying it to the headboard. Pulling the rope tight enough to force her open to her maximum width. 

Gavin ran his hands down her knee, across the inside of her thigh, to her sex. Running his fingers slowly over her ever dampening Venus, anxiously awaiting him in whatever fashion he would use her. 

"I love the fact you are so wet already," Gavin said as he ran his fingers up the opposite leg, the one attached to the foot board. He carefully checked her binds, her hands, her feet and where the bindings touched her skin. Making sure she was not being harmed. Once he was satisfied he left her there, going back to the dresser for more toys. 

Returning, she lifted her head slightly to see the wand vibrator in his hands. He plugged it into the wall and let the soft hum of the toy fill the room and reach her ears. She dropped her head back and let it arch her neck as soon as he gently placed the toy against her. Her moan was almost immediate. 

Gavin moved the toy to the top of her sex and let it vibrate atop her clit. She could hear him wet his fingers with his mouth before he carefully placed a finger inside of her. Penetrating her depths. He enjoyed the heat her sex was producing as soon as he had his finger planted to the knuckles. She began to grind her hips against him and this caused him to smile. Always so eager! 

He began to thrust his finger in and out of her, holding the wand in place with the other hand causing a double dose of sensations for her. 

"Such a good girl," Gavin whispered as she let out a soft moan. 

She loved to hear that. She longed to hear it, nothing, not even 'I love you' matched that phrase. A good girl. Magic words that always caused her to become aroused to the next level. A goal she made sure she strode for during their sessions, to please him to the point he called her a 'good girl'. 

Her hips began to rock harder against his hand as her body began to show its appreciation for what he was doing. Her nipples hardening, her sex beginning to slosh with her excitement. 

As soon as she was ready, Gavin inserted a second finger into her. He began to thrust harder, faster. She began to yip, a sound that was music to him. Her little 'hurumpf' as she thrust against his hand. 

His secret smile on display as he watched her work herself against his hand as best she could being bound. Her body began to rock erratically as her body began to lock up with her impending orgasm. He watched her carefully, this pleased him most of all. If there was a more beautiful sight than Alexandria's orgasm, he had yet to see it. To him, this was the gates to Heaven, the glorious sight of a woman never to be seen by most. He was the fortunate one to see it. 

Her body locked up as her mouth hung open slightly, her face reddening with her held breath as she was caught in the tight grip of her orgasm. It held her tightly in its grip for an extended period of time, like her body itself was edging her. She came with a soft gush, that made him smile. The feel of her cum running down his fingers to his palm as he slowed his pace to let her drift gently down from Nirvana. 

When she could, she let her eyes flutter open and he saw her smile with those baby blue eyes and he was mesmerized all over again. He looked to her shaved sex. Her lips reddened by his fingers. Her sex wet in the light as he watched a small drip of cum slide down from her sex, to the tender space between her sex and her ass. 

Gavin watched it disappear, then looked back at his impaled fingers. He pulled out slowly causing her to whimper. Dropping his index finger to the side of his middle finger he slowly worked three fingers into her causing her body to tighten at the wide intrusion. Now with three fingers, his index, middle and ring finger opening her up, she began to bite her lip. 

He watched her carefully as she tried to relax her body to accept them. Once she had convinced her body to allow the widening, he began a slow pull and push causing her to whimper with the feel. Slowly at first, then picking up speed causing her to grunt at the immense pressure his hand was causing. 

Within minutes her second orgasm pulsed from her body, but now with her sex opened she squirted out in a small stream. 

"That's my good girl," Gavin whispered as he watched it happen. "Get ready, we are taking this to another level." 

Gavin retracted his index finger returning to just two fingers but he began to thrust harder into her, so hard in fact that a slapping noise could be heard as his hand slapped against her. She began to call out with each deep thrust, but with the speed he was using it sounded more like one long call. 

Her body went stiff as a board, her legs stretching against the leather that bound them. Her hands turning purple as she pulled against the binds there as well. The ropes digging into her wrists slightly as she pulled on them, her face a bright crimson as her body began to shake. All were telltale signs of how strong this next orgasm was going to be. 

At the last second, he pulled his fingers out of her and rubbed her clit furiously with his fingers. Her cum shot from her body like a fountain, a steady stream that seemed to come from a squirt bottle rather than a result of her body. It was rare that she came this hard, though she squirted regularly. Coated his hand always, but these powerful orgasms that came from her like this weren't the norm. 

He watched in happen in fascination, taking all of her beauty in. 

"Holy fuck!" she called out as her last statement as she was rendered mute and could only gurgle or grunt as the fluid shot from her. Once her body stopped she collapsed to the bed and gasped for breath. 

Alex sucked in air as best she could as her head spun wildly, her eyes snapped shut and she felt as if she was on a merry go round with her head spinning. She jogged regularly, and no matter how hard she pushed herself, nothing matched her shortness of breath than that of one of these 'super' orgasms she called them. 

Nothing felt like it, she couldn't describe it. All she knew was that afterward, she wouldn't be able to move for a while, which didn't matter in most cases as Gavin would pamper her. Now with her tied up, she didn't know how long he would continue to play with her. 

He slid his fingers back in her and began his hammering causing her to scream out in pleasure as his fingers seemed to ignite each nerve ending. He went back with the ferocity he was going at her before her powerful squirt. But now all her nerves down there seemed alive, like everything there was alive. It was part ticklish, part pleasure and part pain. Mixed together caused a sensation that went beyond words. 

Soon her body was pulling at the restraints again, her back arched as she tilted her hips to allow him deeper access which boggled her mind. She could hear the ropes stretch as she pulled at them with her muscle contractions. Again at the last minute he pulled his fingers from her and rubbed her clit with fury seeming angry. 

Her body again produced her cum in such a force that had her dizzy from it. She collapsed to the bed, her breath coming in short, choppy, ragged drags. Her chest heaved in short intervals as she tried to reel herself in as best she could, trying to regroup to get ready for Gavin again, just in case he wanted more. 

She kind of hoped he did, and kind of hoped he didn't. She was already exhausted, she hoped this wasn't one of the long session they enjoyed where it went hours. The idea of Nora getting up in a few hours clicked in her mind. She dismissed it as quickly as it came, it wouldn't be the first time she was tired all day. She also couldn't think of a better reason to being exhausted. 

Gavin disappeared momentarily and she heard the tub in the master bath come on. Part of her was relieved, and part disappointed. The hot feel of a wet cloth on her sex had her jumping in the bed. He gently cleaned her up a bit before burying his face into her sex causing her body to twist at the sudden attack from his talented tongue and mouth. 

It was almost immediate, it seemed, that she came again, not that it was unusual. Once she was started, her orgasms were easy to evoke. Especially for Gavin who knew her body better than she did. He knew exactly where to dart his tongue into her. Where to suckle with his lips. The right pressure, the right speed as his tongue flicked against her clit driving her hips to try and catch his tongue as he maddeningly drove her repeatedly over the edge. 

Four more orgasms and she could do nothing but gasp as her body shook. He began to slow his oral assault on her as her body twitched with every lick now. Something she knew he enjoyed seeing as from time to time she could hear him laugh softly as her body moved like a puppet under his mouth. 

Soon he was just gently kissing her sex, like he was kissing a lover, his tongue gently probing but not trying to make her cum. More easing her down from where she had been floating. Her breathing came back, no longer in short gasps but in deep breaths. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she floated back to earth. 

She closed her eyes as they were still spinning, and spinning in opposite directions she was almost certain! She felt the straps pull at her leg as he released her. Once her leg was free he carefully stretched it out to straight. Gently cupping the heel on her foot as he massaged her calf and thigh with his free hand. Once he was satisfied it wouldn't lock up on her, he repeated the process with the other leg. 

He gently let her legs hang off the bed. The tingling of her legs let her know the blood flow was returning, it made her giggle slightly. He moved to the other side and undid her arms, continuing his massage of her tired, tight muscles as he released her. Soon she was free from her binds and she turned over to her side to look at him as he began to remove the ropes from the bed. Gently tying them to be used later. 

He put them back in the dresser and then carefully lifted her from the bed and carried her into the bathroom. He gently lowered her into the steaming water and the water made her shiver with pleasure. 

Gavin spent the next half hour washing her. Her hair first, his strong hands massaging her scalp which brought goosebumps to her skin. Then her body, carefully washing her completely. Taking extra care on her now raw sex. When he was done he laid her back in the tub, a soft towel behind her head. 

She watched him change the sheets on the bed, she blushed with the knowledge that she was reason they had to be changed. She had wondered in the beginning of their relationship what the purpose of the vinyl covering on the mattress was. It was like a hotel mattress; she had never seen it in an actual home. Now she knew, she couldn't imagine what the mattress would look like after one of her super orgasms if the covering wasn't on. She was glad she didn't have to worry about it. 

Gavin returned after putting the bed clothes in the washer, he remade the bed before coming back for her. He helped her up and dried her off with a warm towel. Carrying her to bed he laid her in and covered her up. After a quick shower himself he returned to bed and moved against her and wrapped his arms around her, enclosing her in his embrace. 

"I didn't get to service you," she whispered tiredly. 

"Yes you did," he smiled as he inhaled her scent from her freshly washed hair. "I am completely satisfied." 

She was asleep before she could respond, a smile on her face. Contently in love. 

***



Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 45



Chapter 62 

Alex scanned the room nervously. There was a subtle blur of voices as people milled about. Some in random conversation, some admiring and discussing her work. Maole stood with a group of men as they looked at one of her pieces. It seemed they were each wanting it, but there was just the one. 

Madelyn and Charles were near another piece, it was marked 'sold' already, but they continued to look at it. As Alex thought about it, it had been marked 'sold' before the showing officially started. 

"That woman had better not have bought that piece," Alex growled as she watched. "If she did, she will get a good look at a kitten in need of a spanking!" Alex smiled at her bravado as she stood there alone. She knew she would never had said that if Madelyn was in earshot. 

Turning she found Mike and Lena, wandering in and out among the rich and stately. They looked uncomfortable, which didn't surprise her. Like her, they didn't really belong in this group of people. 

"Looks like another successful night," came a voice from behind her. Alex's smile grew as she looked over her shoulder as Elizabeth hooked her arm into Alex's. 

"It appears so," Alex agreed. "I'm so happy you are here!" Alex said taking the raven haired goddess into her arms and hugging her. 

"I'm so happy to have received an invitation!" Elizabeth said with a gentle kiss to Alex's cheek. "I was afraid Gavin wouldn't have allowed it, especially after my disruption of your engagement party...and the New Year's Eve fiasco!" 

"I don't want us to be enemies," Alex told her. "I owe you so much...and I want to be able to repay you!" 

"There is nothing to repay, my beautiful Alexandria," Elizabeth smiled as she brushed her fingers down Alex's cheek. "We helped each other." 

"Are you happy with the way things worked out?" Alex asked her. Elizabeth gave a noncommittal shrug. 

"Things are what they are," Elizabeth sighed. She found Gavin walking around with Nora. Her small hand in his as they moved through the crowd. 

"There is something I never thought I would see," Elizabeth told her as she moved closer to Alex. 

"What's that?" Alex asked her following her eyes to see Gavin and Nora. 

"Gavin with a child," Elizabeth smiled ruefully. "In the entire time I was with him, I never even saw him look at a child let alone show a fatherly touch." 

"He is an excellent father figure," Alex told her. 

"I doubt that there isn't anything Gavin couldn't exceed at," Elizabeth sighed. 

"I agree," Alex nodded. "I detect a bit of regret in your voice." 

"Regret?" Elizabeth whispered. "Yeah, I have a few. But in the end, things always happen for a reason." 

Alex looked at Elizabeth for a few moments, then realized Elizabeth was done with that conversation by the way she sighed deeply then began to scan the room, turning her eyes from Gavin and Nora. 

"Is Royce here with you?" Alex asked her looking about. 

"He is," Elizabeth frowned, her voice filled with disappointment. She nodded to a corner where it seemed all the politicians had congregated. 

"Ouch," Alex smiled. "Tell me how you really feel." Alex laughed pointing out the disdain. 

"It is, what it is," Elizabeth shrugged. "We are using each other for our own purposes, so there are no innocents in our relationship. He needs a wife to play the part, and I need him to get me to the White House." 

"So your plan is still in place?" Alex said with a shake of her head. 

"It is," Elizabeth assured her. 

"You know, my dad always said, 'Have a plan...then have a backup plan, then, just to be safe, have a backup plan, to the backup plan'," Alex laughed as she recited the words he had spoken so many times. 

"Check, check and double check," Elizabeth smiled secretively. "Trust me...this girl knows how to play the game. I'm an expert at it! Royce may underestimate me, his father definitely underestimates me, but in the end, they will regret it." She looked to Alex with a fire in her eyes. 

"They think, just because they are men, they play the game better," Elizabeth smiled. "No one, no one, plays the game better than me. I have my ducks in a row! Sure, I play the pretty little piece of eye candy. Sure, I act like I don't understand...but make no mistake. I understand, and if I don't? That's what I want them to think." 

Alex stared at her for a minute. Watching her jaw tighten as she said this. Her voice brimming in both confidence and anger. Alex nodded when Elizabeth finally turned her head to her after a few moments. 

"Somehow I don't doubt that one bit!" Alex laughed. 

"I am sorry about your sister," Elizabeth said softly after some time of just standing there being quiet, letting the anger seep out and disappear from the goddess. 

"Thank you," Alex choked out, she didn't know Elizabeth knew. 

"I know it's still painful, but..." Elizabeth started then stopped. 

"But?" 

"But behind every dark cloud, there is a silver lining," Elizabeth smiled as Gavin and Nora made their way towards them. "You have a family now...a great man, a beautiful daughter and a happy life." 

"True," Alex agreed. 

She watched the anger flash through Gavin's eyes as he saw Elizabeth standing with Alex. Alex took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. There would be repercussions when he found out Elizabeth was here at Alex's invitation. 

"I take it by the anger in his eyes and your sudden uncomfortableness that he didn't know I was going to be here," Elizabeth said softly. 

"No," Alex told her. "I sent the invitation." 

"Girl," Elizabeth chastised with a shake of her head. "I'm the last person you should be risking everything for!" 

"For my friends, 'risk' is not in my vocabulary," Alex told her firmly taking hold of her hand so she wouldn't leave. 

"Oh my precious Alexandria," Elizabeth said with a disappointed shake of her head. "That's going to cost you." 

"Hello Beth," Gavin greeted casting a quick scowl at Alex. 

"Gavin," Elizabeth smiled. "You must be Nora." Nora nodded and stuck her hand out and Elizabeth shook it with a smile. "You look like Alex!" 

"I get that a lot!" Nora smiled. "Grandpa says I'm too much like her!" 

Elizabeth nodded with a soft laugh. 

"Can I go see Queen Madelyn now?" Nora asked looking up at Gavin. 

"Yes," Gavin agreed quickly. "Why don't you do that, drive her crazy with your never ending questions!" Gavin teased the little girl. Nora let out a small growl and left them there, weaving in and out of the large group of people until she found Charles who immediately bowed to her. 

"What are you doing here," Gavin asked her coldly. Elizabeth tightened her jaw at the sudden temperature drop in the room. 

"Party crashing," Elizabeth told him softly. 

"She is not," Alex immediately corrected. "I invited her." Gavin shifted his eyes from Elizabeth to Alex. 

"You didn't have to send her away, Gavin," Elizabeth teased, drawing Gavin's eyes from scolding Alex back to her. "I wouldn't have eaten her or anything...I've had my monthly quota of devouring innocent children...being the witch that I am!" 

"Don't flatter yourself," Gavin chuckled. "I put you in a room with that one...she would eat you alive!" Gavin told her with a nod of his head towards Nora. 

"Seems like a perfect little princess to me," Elizabeth said looking at her. 

"Yeah," Gavin grunted. "Ask Lance just how much of a princess that one is!" This caused Alex to laugh with him. 

"Who's Lance? Her boyfriend?" Elizabeth asked. 

"No," Alex shook her head. "He was the bully whose nose got broken by Nora." 

"Holy shit!" Elizabeth gasped. 

"Yeah," Gavin nodded. 

"Well," Elizabeth shrugged. "You won't have to worry about her come dating time!" 

"She isn't going to date," Gavin said dryly. The girls looked to one another with a grin. Gavin turned when his name was called and he shook his head. Kissing Alex on the cheek in way of apology for being pulled away he made his leave. 

"Damn," Elisabeth frowned. "I'm wet and he didn't even kiss me!" 

"That's my Sir you are talking about lady," Alex mocked in anger. 

"Damn rule abiding people!" Elizabeth laughed with her, referencing Gavin's rules. 

"How is Royce treating you?" Alex asked. 

"Royce," Elizabeth huffed out a laugh. Alex looked to her. "Royce is suffering from middle aged man syndrome, if you catch my drift!" Elizabeth held out a finger straight only to let it pretend to deflate and hang down. 

"Oh my God!" Alex gasped. She shook her head at Elizabeth. "They make a pill for that!" 

"Yeah, so I said," Elizabeth shrugged and then shook her head. 

"What happened?" 

"A fury I do not wish to see again," Elizabeth grimaced. "It doesn't matter...the only thing that matters is where he is taking me. I play the good wifey wife, he plays the upstanding citizen. At the end of the summer, Royce will take over his father's senate seat, then next cycle, we make a move to the big dance." 

"Then what?" Alex asked her. 

"Then? Who knows? Maybe Hillary breaks the ice and I follow in her footsteps, get my own senate seat then..." Elizabeth shrugged. 

"You want to be like Hillary?" Alex asked her. 

"God no!" Elizabeth laughed. "But, she is blazing a trail...one that I can follow if I play the game." 

"It's a sad statement about our society where you call getting into our government a game," Alex pointed out. "I wonder if the Revolutionary leaders ever thought of what they fought and died for, if they knew it would end up in the cesspool we have now, if they would have even come in from the outhouse to fight." 

"If the Founding Fathers could see what we have now," Elizabeth frowned. "They would turn over in their grave and ask for King George to forgive them!" Elizabeth sighed. "We are not the country we once were, and until we have another revolution, it will be this cesspool you so affectionately called it!" 

"Wow," Alex smiled. "Listen to us! A couple of ripe old cynics!" 

"Well I'm not sure I like the word 'old' in there, but cynic is true enough!" Elizabeth teased. 

"Syurpriz krasivaya!" Came a loud voice that accompanied an accosting from behind as Alex was lifted off the floor in a hug from behind. 

Alex let out a short shout of surprise and spun to see Pavy. 

"Oh my God!" Alex screamed out as she jumped in his arms and hugged him. "Ya rad videt' vas!" 

"Damn are you working on your Russian?" Pavy asked her as he put her down. "You are beginning to speak it better than me!" 

"I'm trying," Alex teased. 

"Yesli vy ne byli s neudchnikom, ID vas v posteli," Pavy said with a flick of his eyebrows. 

"What did you just say?" Alex asked him with a smile, knowing by the look on his face it wasn't good. 

"I merely said," Pavy laughed, then shook his head. "No, I had better not!" 

"He said, 'If you weren't with such a loser, I'd bed you myself'," came Gavin's voice. 

"You could have told me the asshole was right behind me," Pavy grumbled to Alex with a wink. 

"No, it's better this way!" Alex laughed. 

Pavy turned and took Gavin in a big hug and then dipped him in a dance before planting a kiss on his lips. 

"You crazy Russian!" Gavin gasped as he blushed. 

"Oh my God," Alex teased. "Are you blushing?" 

"I just got kissed by a pig!" Gavin defended. "I'm trying not to vomit!" 

"C'mon," Pavy said confidently. "You wanted it...and it is the best kiss you have had in years!" 

"Hey!" Alex complained. This got both men laughing. "You two, disappear to somewhere where you are not distracting my potential customers! Please?" The men walked away jabbering at a hundred miles an hour. 

"Must be dog and pony show time," Alex frowned. She knew Pavy wouldn't stay long, but she wanted him to stay a while. She loved the way Pavy could make Gavin a completely different person. One free of his formality. Free of his responsibility. 

"Get the bail money ready," Elizabeth frowned. 

"He's not that bad," Alex defended as she watched the two men double over in laughter as Pavy explained something in story with large arm gestures. 

"Well," Elizabeth frowned. "It looks like I am being summoned." Alex shifted her eyes to Royce who was waving at Elizabeth to come on. 

"I wish you didn't have to go," Alex told her as Elizabeth hugged her. 

"We need to get together sometime and talk. Soon," Elizabeth said from the embrace. 

"Anytime," Alex said releasing her. 

She watched Elizabeth move away and ease by Royce who continued to stare at Alex. The stare alone made her uncomfortable so she turned away. It made her feel like she needed a shower, his undressing of her with his eyes. It was obvious what he was doing. Picturing what she looked like undressed. Perhaps even doing things with her in his mind. If he had the balls he may have made a move. But he knew Gavin would be there in an instant, and with Pavy there now, Gavin wouldn't be alone. This made Alex look to the two men, they were deep in laughter with one another. 

She didn't like the man, even after all this time, the only thing she could think of was Kelly and what the animal had done to her. 

*** 

"So how are the King and Queen of the BDSM world?" Royce asked as the driver closed the door. 

"They're fine," Elizabeth frowned. 

Royce had been calling them that for a while now. resentment spewed as he talked about them. It seemed anytime they went to a lifestyle party the talk in the room seemed to drift, at some point, to Alexandria and Gavin. Wedding plans and invitation, how Alexandria looked. The way Gavin doted on her. All made Royce bristle with jealousy. 

"They make me want to puke," Royce said pulling his tie loose. 

"I notice it didn't stop you from attending," Elizabeth pointed out. 

"Any chance I get to rub elbows with the elite, it greases the money wheel," Royce admitted. "Something my father has taught me." 

"He actually taught you something?" Elizabeth scoffed as she looked out the window. 

Royce turning had her looking to him, the slap was sudden and harsh, but not powerful due to the fact of their positioning in the limo didn't allow for it. Elizabeth let her eyes fire up. 

"That's my father you're talking about," Royce growled as the driver electronically raised the partition. He had seen enough of the couple to know what was coming, and he knew he shouldn't witness it. 

"I meant it as a compliment," Elizabeth told him. "You are a self-made man, that's all I meant." Elizabeth turned to look out the window again. Royce hook her jaw and turned her to look at him. 

"What are you up to?" Royce asked her. 

"Nothing," Elizabeth sighed. "I was just trying to say, I don't think he has taught you anything that you didn't already know." She pulled her face loose from his grip. "You know...a compliment?" 

"Don't think, for one second, I don't know you are up to something," he pointed out to her. 

"Don't think, for one second, that I'm naïve! Treat me as such and you will be in for a rude awakening," Elizabeth countered. 

"Is that a threat?" Royce laughed dismissively. "I can replace you in a heartbeat! Don't you ever forget that!" 

"Don't you ever forget, we have a deal," Elizabeth barked back. "Renege on that, and you will never see the White House!" 

"Name me a President that hasn't had some whore come out and make claims such as yours!" Royce said sitting back. 

"Name me a man who was running for President that got elected after such a salacious scandal?" Elizabeth said turning back to the window. "You aren't President yet, my dear, you do what you agreed to do, I will do what I agreed to do...we both win." 

*** 

"So how long is Pavy here for?" Alex asked as they got ready for bed. 

"A couple of days," Gavin smiled as he kissed the back of her neck sending shivers of pleasure down her spine. 

"Is everything ok?" she asked him in the mirror as he nibbled down her neck. 

"I guess so," he smiled. "Why?" 

"He normally only stays a day, if that," she pointed out. Gavin nodded. 

"He has the big meeting here in Chicago," Gavin whispered as he continued his manipulations. 

"It makes it hard to breathe when you do that," Alex whispered as she gasped softly. 

"Don't worry," he smiled sinisterly in the mirror. "I'm about to make you breathe heavy." 

"Here or in the bedroom?" Alex asked, matching his smile. 

"Yes," was his one-word answer. 

He spun her and lifter her up and set her on the bathroom counter, her eyes sparkled as he ran his fingers down her skin, across her breasts to encircle her nipples. He took them in between this thumb and forefinger and watched her tighten her jaw as he began a long slow squeeze of her nipples. Pressing harder and harder watching the pressure cause her face to twitch in increments along with the pain he was causing. 

Right before she was about cry out he stopped and released them causing a rush of blood to flow back in, triggering a tingling sensations that made her mouth gape slightly. He used the palm of his hands to rub ever so gently on the now engorged and sensitive nipples. This caused her to shiver with goosebumps. 

The little tweak of a smile on his lips told her everything she needed to know. He was pleased. He ran his fingers down her stomach pushing apart her legs and slid his hand behind her, never letting his touch leave her body, hooking his fingers around her hips and pulling her forward to the very edge of the counter. 

Dropping to his knees he slowly lowered his lips to her sensitive sex and made her jump at the first contact of his mouth to her outer lips. From there he pushed his tongue through, into her, causing her to arch her neck into the mirror forcing her chest out as he ravaged her from below. 

She tilted her hips as best she could to pull him deeper within her, hoping to pull him so deep she would lose where she ended and he began. Her hips began rocking slowly against his face as she tried to hurry along her orgasm. After a long night of pent up stress, this was the great release she was hoping for. Something that only her Sir could give her and she wanted it. No she shook her head as her stomach began tightening. She needed it! 

Her hand slithered in amongst his dark hair and gripped it, pulling it gently into her folds. 

"Take your fucking hand from my head," he growled, sending vibrations through her sex that nearly pushed her over the edge. He never stopped devouring her, instead his command was muffled slightly with his activity as he continued to tongue her closer and closer to climax. She whimpered and took firm hold of the marble counter top and held on. She couldn't stop her hips from disobeying however, as they seemed to have a mind of their own, as they continued to rock against his face. 

Her back began to arch, her head, stuck on the mirror as a pivot, craned her body outward as her orgasm bubbled to the surface. With the angle of her bottom half changed due to her muscle flex, Gavin let his hand slide up her body and took hold of a nipple, he squeezed and that seemed the magic button to cause her body to stop arching. Her angle returned to where he had complete access and he continued his late night snack. 

With a sudden convulsion she came, her teeth digging into her lip to keep from calling out and waking both Pavy and Nora, who were upstairs, but she was sure she would not be able to control the volume of her cries if she let it go. 

Gavin continued to lap, dip and swirl his tongue as she rode it through her orgasm. It seemed she had an eel loose within her body and it was hitting every perfect point of sexual excitement. Like some sci-fi creature created to slither into women to bring orgasm after orgasm. 

Once her muscles released Gavin stood up and lifted her legs into the crooks of his arms and buried his cock in one thrust, his balls slapping her ass gently from below, the sudden intrusion of his hard cock had her gasping and yipping at the same time. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 45



His mouth covered hers and they began kissing passionately, their tongues dueling one another in a dance reminiscent of the Tango. Strong and forceful but erotically sensual. Her eyes locked onto his and saw the passion she was feeling in his eyes. God she loved fucking this man! 

He picked her up, his cock still deeply buried within her and began to carry her to the bed. With every step there was a mini-movement of his cock as it moved with his body. She hung around his neck, still dancing the Tango with their tongues. 

When he fell with her onto the bed, his cock reaching deep within her as the weight of his body forced it to, she gasped with pleasure but instantly released her hands and wrapped them in the blankets of the bed, her own makeshift bondage to keep from touching him in the throes of passion. 

He lifted his lips from hers and let his wicked little smile come across his face. She matched him and they continued to pleasure each other into exhaustion. 

*** 

Chapter 63 

The next day, Kari and Nora, were playing in Kari's yard, using Kari's swing set to jump from. Something Reese continually warned them to be careful doing. 

"She is going to get hurt jumping from the swing like that," a male voice pointed out. Reese closed her eyes and hoped it was just a bad dream. When she turned she realized it wasn't. 

"She'll be fine," Reese said as calmly as she could, looking back the girls. 

"I don't like it," he said putting his hands on his hips. 

"You worry about your own little girl," Reese semi-snapped. "I'll worry about Kari." 

"Kari is my little girl as well," the man growled back still staring at the two girls playing. "And Shannon isn't a little girl!" 

"She is half your age and young enough to be your daughter," Reese exhaled deeply. "What do you want Robert?" 

Her soon to be ex-husband turned to look at her. 

"Why haven't you signed the papers yet?" he asked her. 

"You know why," Reese frowned. "My lawyers don't like the language in it." 

"That's bullshit," he barked. 

"Inside," Reese growled and got up from her chair. Robert followed her into the house and the two began to bark at each other standing in front of the sliding glass doors. 

Nora turned her head at the voices and saw Reese and the man fighting. She looked to Kari who seemed to be unaware of the argument between her parents. 

"Hey!" Nora laughed as Kari fell into her after her jump. "Race you to the treehouse!" 

"Yeah!" Kari agreed and the two girls sped out the side gate and around to Nora's backyard. 

Nora looked back as she climbed the stairs to her treehouse and saw Reese watching the girls still while the man continued to talk to her. Reese waved to Nora in thanks and Nora nodded. Nora knew what fighting parents looked like and she wanted to protect Kari from that. 

Later that evening, as Gavin served steaks brought in off the grill Nora sat quietly as the three adults laughed and joked about this and that. 

"What's going on kiddo?" Gavin asked her as he put her hot dog in her bun and set it on her plate. 

"Nothing," Nora said trying to hide her true feelings. 

"Really?" Gavin smiled sitting down next to her. "Gonna try that with me? Has that ever worked?" 

"No," Nora smiled. She hadn't been able to keep her true emotions from Gavin, she wished he wasn't so good at picking up her mood. 

"Is it my friend Pavy?" Gavin asked her softly. 

"NO!" Nora shook her head. "I saw Kari's dad today...," Nora admitted. 

"Ok," Gavin said waiting for her to finish. 

"Why do all parents divorce?" she asked him. 

"Not all parents divorce," Gavin assured her stroking the side of her hair. "In reality, half do, which is entirely too many but that's just the way it is." Nora nodded. 

"What about him has you upset?" Gavin asked. 

"They were arguing," Nora told him looking to Pavy and Alex who were having their own conversation. Alex was watching though, Nora knew that because of the way Alex kept looking over at her. 

"Why do they always yell at each other?" Nora asked him. 

"It's hard to explain," Gavin said with twisted lips as he tried to think of a way to explain it to the young girl. "Usually, in a divorce, one of the two is very hurt." Gavin finally shrugged. "I mean sometimes both want the divorce and they both know they will be better off separated. But a lot of times, one is hurt, they don't want to be divorced, but the other does. That causes resentment." 

Nora turned her head to him. 

"Do you know what resentment means?" Gavin asked her. She shook her head. "Remember the way your Grandmother made you feel...at the funeral?" Nora bowed her head and nodded. "That's resentment...it's an anger and sadness combined. It's probably the worst of all feelings." Nora nodded that she agreed. 

"How did Kari handle it?" Gavin asked her. 

"I kind of hid her from it," Nora admitted. 

"How did you do that?" 

"I told her I wanted to play in the treehouse, so we ran over there and played in it until he left," Nora told him. Gavin smiled and pulled Nora into a hug and kissed her head. 

"You are such a sweet girl," Gavin said as he held her. "But it hurts my heart that you are so knowledgeable about the way adults fight!" 

"Do you and Aunt Alex fight?" Nora asked him. 

"Everybody fights," Gavin told her. "We don't do it often, but yes, we have argued." 

"What about?" 

"The last big fight we had, was when she got pneumonia because she was being so stubborn!" Gavin teased with a smile. "She made me really mad!" 

"Why?" 

"Because she scared me!" Gavin shrugged. "She was really sick, she didn't want to take care of herself and she made her flu worse." 

"Can the ammonia hurt you?" Nora asked. 

"Pneumonia," Gavin corrected with a smile. "And yes, it can kill you if you don't take care of yourself. Which is why when you are sick you should do what your doctor tells you...But your Aunt Alex can be a bad patient!" 

"I thought we weren't going to bring that up anymore," Alex smiled joining in the conversation. 

"Aunt Alex!" Nora chided. "You should do what Uncle Gavin tells you to! He's a doctor!" 

"Hey, I thought you were on my side?" Alex laughed as Pavy chuckled. 

"No," Nora smiled. 

"Yeah," Gavin nodded looking over his shoulder looking at Alex. "Like Nora says, you should listen to me!" 

"Yes Sir," Alex smiled while shaking her head. 

"You ok now?" Gavin asked looking at Nora again. She nodded. 

*** 

Marylyn pushed her cart slowly down the aisle of the store. Living on her own now she didn't need a whole lot of groceries so she didn't know why she was pushing a cart. Habit she guessed. 

"Marylyn!" a voice called out causing her to turn. She held her breath and frowned. 

"Rev. Sellers," she managed to recover. 

"I've been so worried about you!" he said coming up to her quickly. "It's been months!" 

"I know," Marylyn said steeling herself. "I figured my daughters would have told you I was ok." 

"They say that, but you don't return to the church!" Sellers pointed out. 

"I have no intention of ever returning," Marylyn told him causing him to blink rapidly. 

"Why?" 

"Why?" she laughed. "Oh my!" 

Marylyn shook her head. How does she handle this? Like she wants to, with bitter words meant to destroy the man before her, or like Jack and Livy would want her to? 

"Rev. Sellers," Marylyn began slowly. "You and your church has cost me one daughter, my marriage is barely starting to recover and I'm estranged from my granddaughter and my youngest daughter. All because of you and your church." 

"I don't understand," he told her. 

"God is all about love and forgiveness," Marylyn pointed out. "You teach something different, your flock is judgmental and elitist." Sellers opened his mouth to say something, but Marylyn continued, stopping him from speaking. 

"But I have learned it's not their fault," Marylyn smiled. "It's yours." 

"Mine?" he gasped. 

"You were placed in responsibility for your flock, once you accept that, the onus is on you to deliver them," Marylyn told him. 

"Father Jack has led me to God," Marylyn told him. "Truly led me to God...I don't pretend to worship Him and then go against Him when you feel it just...to shun others for something beyond their control, or because you feel it is just." 

"I don't...," 

"You made me push my daughter to suicide," Marylyn began to cry cutting him off. "Instead of loving her unconditionally as God does me...I shunned her as you instructed. I pushed her to her end." 

"Your daughter, had fallen so far from God that she committed a sin that cannot be forgiven," Sellers began, his temper swelling. 

"Wrong again," Marylyn smiled. "See, that's what I'm talking about...you are no closer to God than a man who has never set foot in a church. God doesn't want us to judge others. He commands us to love one another, to leave the judgement to Him for He is the only one who knows a person's heart." 

"I learned that lesson too late," Marylyn said wiping her tears from her cheek. "I lost my precious Olivia...I am trying desperately to save my relationships with Alex and Nora...and my husband." 

"You need to come in and let me council you, it appears this Father Jack is leading you astray!" Sellers told her. 

"No," Marylyn shook her head. "For the first time in my life, I am on the path with God. Not a path that leads me to God, as you have taught, but a path He walks with me on, sometimes carries me on." 

"And you think I'm not?" he barked. 

"It's not my place," Marylyn pointed out again. "God will judge you, not me. I pray He judges you well and you find yourself in Heaven, but I'm afraid for you, for you don't preach the word of God. I'm afraid He will be very unhappy with the fact He charged you with bringing others to Him but you instead lead them on some crusade not of His making." 

"I preach from the Bible every day!" Sellers countered. 

"No," Marylyn disagreed. "You read the words on the page, but you don't live them. You don't breathe them. You don't let them into your heart! You don't let the love that is there come from your lips. You instead twist them to suit your purpose!"  

"I'm not standing here listening to a heathen who has fallen from God," Sellers said turning. 

"I'll pray for you tonight," Marylyn told him. "But know this, I won't rest until my entire family is out of your church, for it doesn't serve God!" 

That evening as Marylyn clutched her Rosary in her hand in what had become her usual back pew. It was the same one Livy had sat in. She thought of the conversation earlier that day with Sellers. 

"How are you doing tonight?" Jack asked her as he sat down. 

"Good," Marylyn smiled. "How is Al? Did you see him today?" 

"He's fine," Jack laughed. It was always her first question. All about her husband. "Quite a comedian your husband!" 

"I know, it was one of the things that made me fall in love with him," Marylyn smiled. "Is he taking his medicine?" 

"Why don't you go home and find out yourself?" Jack asked her. 

"I have to right my heart," Marylyn said shaking her head. "Until then, I'm not worthy of him." 

"He's getting kind of upset that you won't come home," Jack told her. "He loves you." 

For the past several months, Jack had been running as go between for the two. Marylyn had rented a small apartment while Al worked on getting well and going through his physical therapy. 

"I love him," Marylyn smiled. "But first things first, I have to right my relationship with God, Nora and Alex...in that order!" Jack nodded. 

"I saw Rev. Sellers today," Marylyn told him. 

"How did that go?" Jack asked her turning in his seat. 

"He was a bit angry with me," Marylyn admitted. "I told him I would pray for him." 

"Well then," Jack smiled standing up. "You are right with God." She looked up at him. 

"When you can love your enemy enough to pray for him? That's what God would call Christianly," he pointed out with a hand to her shoulder. 

"He isn't my enemy!" Marylyn gasped. 

"No?" Jack tilted his head. "In our conversations, your resentment and anger at his leadership says otherwise." Marylyn looked forward and then bowed her head. 

"What if I'm wrong?" Marylyn asked him. "I'm just so confused with all the contradictory teachings!" 

"What does your heart tell you?" Jack asked her. She looked up at him. "See that is the only way to know you are doing what the Father wants. You listen to your heart. That is the big tell. Satan can tempt you with anger, hatred and lust in the guise of love. But love...love is God's domain. Satan has no knowledge of it, he was cast from heaven because of it, he can't grasp the idea. So I ask you...what does your heart tell you?" 

"That I'm right where God wants me," Marylyn smiled after she sat there a few moments with her eyes closed. 

"You are right with the Father...now you need to work on your family. The only way that happens, is to show them you are a changed person, that you now walk with God. Trust that He will act as a liaison with your family and speak to them as well for you." 

"Ok," Marylyn smiled. "Now I just have to find the right time!" 

"And the Father provides," Jack smiled. "I'm going to Chicago this weekend. Nora is having her First Communion. Alex has invited me as Nora wants me to administer the sacrament to her, in respect to Livy." 

Marylyn looked up at him. 

"So, we leave Saturday morning, they are doing Mass that evening," Jack smiled as he left her. "I'll pick you up." 

"How do I convince them I am a changed person?" Marylyn asked him. 

"You don't," Jack said turning back to her. "You live the way God wants you to, God will do the rest." 

"But I want them to know I'm a saved woman!" Marylyn said through her tears. 

"In Matthew 6:1, 'Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.'" Jack told her. "Live your life as God would want, let Him take care of the rest." Marylyn laughed. 

"What?" Jack asked her. 

"I remember a dinner, some time ago, where Alex said something similar," she smiled. "Can someone who doesn't go to church be saved?" 

"Of course," Jack shrugged. "You mustn't think of church as being the savior. Church is only a building where like believers come together to worship and give strength to one another. Church is not a replacement for God. There will be those who attend Church religiously, if you will forgive the pun, but not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Then there will be those who have never set foot in a Church that will be welcomed with open arms. God doesn't care what church you go to, or if you go to church, just as long as you keep the faith. Accept Jesus, live the way God wants. That's the way to Heaven." 

*** 

"Why do I have to get all dressed up?" Nora asked with a frown as Alex finished curling her hair. 

"Because this is a big deal in the Church," Alex reminded. "Everybody else will be dressed up as well." She reassured the small girl. 

"Can Kari come with us?" Nora asked. 

"I guess so," Alex shrugged. "It's supposed to be with family and friends." 

"She isn't Catholic," Nora pointed out. 

"Neither am I, neither is Gavin," Alex countered. "God won't care at that moment, for He will be watching you." 

After a few frantic minutes of Kari rushing around to get dressed up the four of them piled into Alex's SUV. Walking into the church Nora dipped her fingertips in the basin and made the cross on her body, head to heart, shoulder to shoulder. Her priest smiled down at her. 

"Hello Alex, Gavin," he greeted. 

"Father," Alex said watching Nora. 

"Am I supposed to do that?" Kari asked. Nora shrugged and looked to the priest. 

"You don't have to," he told her. "In our faith we do it, but it is up to you." 

"What is it?" she asked looking in the basin. 

"Holy water," the priest smiled. 

"This is how they sort out the demons!" Gavin teased causing the priest to chuckle. "If it burns, you probably should wait outside!" 

"Gavin!" Alex gasped. 

"It would definitely be a good hint!" the priest joined in. 

"Go ahead," Nora encouraged her friend. "Just do what I do." She led Kari through the motions. "See? Nothing to it!" 

"Little Miss Nora!" 

"Father Jack!" Nora screamed and ran to him. Jack knelt and took the girl in his arms and hugged her warmly. "I've missed you!" 

"I have missed you so much!" Jack said as a tear escaped from the edge of his eye. 

"How do you drive in this town?" Trevor's voice caused Alex and Gavin to turn. 

"The only way to drive in this town and survive, is to drive like an idiot!" Gavin laughed. 

"Dad!" Alex smiled hugging him. "You look good!" 

"I always look good!" Al teased. Alex rolled her eyes. 

"What are you doing here? You shouldn't be driving!" Alex chastised. 

"I didn't drive, Trevor did!" Al pointed. 

"Hey Al," Jack smiled shaking his hand. Al picked up Nora and gave her a squeeze. 

"Grandpa, you are going to wrinkle my dress!" Nora warned and he put her down. 

"Oh, well excuse me!" Al told her with a wink. 

"This is my best friend Kari!" Nora introduced her. She gave a little wave. 

"Marylyn," Al gasped when he saw her walk up. 

"Al," Marylyn smiled. She looked to Nora who turned. "Hello Nora." She said to her, her eyes already beginning to water. "I hope you don't mind my coming, Father Jack thought it might be a good idea for me to see you on this very important day." Nora looked to Father Jack then back. 

"You've been talking with Father Jack?" Nora asked her. 

"I have," Marylyn nodded. "I go to your mother's church now...he has been helping me with my life. Helping me find the right path." Nora looked to Jack who nodded that what she spoke was the truth. 

"I don't expect you to forgive me," Marylyn told her. "But I would like the opportunity...if you let me." 

There was a silence as the other families filtered in. Jack waited to see what Nora would do. He hoped she would be like Livy and make this easier on Marylyn, but he certainly wouldn't blame the child if she didn't. 

"Grandma," Nora said softly. "This is my best friend, Kari." Nora smiled. "Kari, this is my Grandma." Kari gave her a wave and Marylyn waved back. She didn't know what to expect but it was a start. 

"Nora, why don't you take Kari and find her a pew," the priest suggested. 

"Will you sit with us Grandma?" Nora asked her as she walked by her. 

"I will if you want me to," Marylyn said as the tears sprinted down her face. 

"I want you to," Nora told her. She hugged Marylyn and even Alex had to clasp her lips together to keep from blubbering. 

Marylyn let her hug linger and Nora smiled from within the embrace. 

"Thank you," Marylyn whispered as she kissed her cheek. "I would be honored to sit with you." 

Nora led Kari into the sanctuary leaving the adults in the vestibule. 

"Alex," Marylyn smiled. "Gavin." She greeted them. 

"Glad you could come," Gavin said sticking out his hand. She shook it. 

"So am I," Marylyn smiled looking to Alex. "Hello baby." Marylyn smiled at Alex. 

"You are going to Livy's church?" Alex asked her dumbfounded. Marylyn nodded. "Why?" 

"I don't know," Marylyn admitted. "I was visiting Livy one day, met Father Jack. We wound up having coffee and he invited me to come. I was surprised when I said yes." 

"So am I," Alex said cautiously. "What does Rev. Sellers think about that?" 

"Well, he doesn't like it," Marylyn admitted with a laugh. "But I don't care. For the first time...well in a long time...I'm happy." 

"You're happy?" Alex asked. 

"I'm happy with myself," Marylyn corrected. "I appreciate what I have." 

"Ok," Alex said not sure as to what else she should say. It was all a bit overwhelming. Part of her was jumping for joy and wanted to hug her mother. Part was telling her to be cautious. 




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 45



Marylyn looked to Al. 

"Did you take your medicine today?" she asked him shortly. 

"Yes," he mocked. 

"Don't make me get my broomstick and fly over there!" Marylyn teased. Al laughed as did the group. 

"Well you could make it a lot easier on yourself if you moved back in," Al told her. Marylyn began to cry in earnest now. Al moved closer to her and pulled her tightly into his arms and Alex turned to Gavin who put an arm around her and gave her his handkerchief. 

"I've missed you," Marylyn whispered. 

"I love you," Al whispered back. "I want my wife back." 

"I want to be your wife again," she said from his embrace. "If you'll have me." 

"I never let you go," he told her. "We just needed to find each other again...and we have." 

Sitting in the pew with the girls, Marylyn sat in between Al and Alex. Al with his arm draped around the back of the pew, touching her gently with his arm as he had it behind her. The mass started and Marylyn pulled out her Rosary and Alex looked to Gavin who smiled. He gave her a half shrug. 

Alex carefully placed her hand over her mother's as it held the rosary and Marylyn took her other hand and enclosed it over Alex's. They watched Nora get called up with the other children that were getting their First Communion. Nora was last as she had been told by her priest. 

When her time came, Father Jack came forward in his robes and stood before Nora giving her a wink and went through the sacrament with her, carefully placing the wafer on her tongue with a proud smile. While he couldn't see her, he could feel Livy and knew she was pleased. 

*** 

Alex pulled out extra towels from the closet and went towards the room her parents were going to share. Walking in she found them kissing one another. 

"Gross," Alex teased. 

"Do we comment when you kiss Gavin?" Al asked her. 

"Yeah, but you guys are my parents for Pete's sake...it was gross when I was a kid and it's still gross!" Alex said setting the towels down on the dresser. She gave them a wink and left them alone. 

Walking down to Father Jack's room she tapped on the door. 

"Come in," Jack called through the door. 

"I just brought you some towels," Alex told him holding them up. 

"Thank you," Jack smiled. "And thank you for letting me stay here tonight." 

"You're welcome," Alex told him. She stood there thinking of how to put her question. 

"Is my mother really going to your church?" Alex finally asked him. 

"She is," Jack confirmed. "She is trying to find God...she is on the right path." Alex nodded. 

"That in turn will lead her back to Al and righting that marriage," Jack pointed out. "Seems to have taken a big step today." 

"It has," Alex agreed. "Thank you for that." 

"I didn't have much to do with it," Jack shrugged. "God was the big player." 

"Yes, but you initiated that meeting," Alex laughed. 

"No," Jack disagreed. "That was Livy." 

"What?" Alex asked him. 

"For a while there," Jack said sitting down. "I was...seeing her even though I knew she was gone. Having conversations with her." 

"Like hallucinations?" Alex asked him. 

"I don't think so," Jack sighed. 

"You mean ghosts?" Alex asked coming to sit next to him on the bed. He nodded. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I mean...does that mean she is in...," 

"She told me she was in a 'very good place'," Jack assured her. "If you believe in ghosts that is." He looked to see a perplexed look on Alex's face. "What?" 

"Nothing," Alex shook her head. "Something Nora asked a while back. Do you see her anymore?" 

"No," he smiled. "I wish I was, but no." Alex nodded and made for the door. "What did Nora ask?" He asked her stopping her. 

"She asked Gavin if he believed in ghosts," Alex told him. "And there are times I hear her talking to someone...but I know she is alone." 

"Kids play," Jack told her. Alex nodded. 

"Yeah, that's what I thought too," Alex said turning at the doorway. "Then you told me you were seeing Livy." 

"I was distraught," Jack pointed out. 

"Did you believe it was her?" Alex asked. He nodded. "Maybe there are ghosts, maybe she is talking to Nora now." Alex shrugged and left him. Jack then closed his eyes and thought of his last encounter with Livy there in his bedroom in the rectory. 

"I'm going to watch Nora for a while," she had told him that night. 

Walking outside Jack found Nora and Kari saying goodbye to each other through the fence. Kari ran off to where her mother was waiting by the back door and Nora turned and smiled at Jack. 

"Hey," he smiled. "I have something for you." 

"What is it?" Nora asked running to him. He sat in the grass and she joined him. 

He pulled out a rosary and handed it to her. 

"I have one," she said looking at it. 

"Yeah, I know, but this one," Jack waited until his breath was back as this was difficult. "This one belonged to your mother." Nora looked at it and her hand shook. "I think she would want you to have it. I have been using it myself for a while, but now I think she would want you to take care of it for her." 

Nora nodded and began to cry. Jack picked her up and put her on his lap. 

"Your mommy would be so proud of you today," Jack smiled kissing her head. 

"I miss her," Nora whispered. "I love being with Aunt Alex, but...," 

"But you wish you were still with your mother?" Jack finished for her. Nora nodded. "There is nothing wrong with that. I don't think Alex or Gavin would be upset you feel that way, they love you and are going to take care of you, that's all that is important." 

"Father?" Nora began slowly. 

"Yes?" 

"In my school some of the kids say if you kill yourself you can't go to Heaven," Nora whispered. 

"In some cases that is true," Jack told her causing her bottom lip to tremble. "But that is not always the truth." 

"What about my mom?" Nora asked him. 

"What I'm about to tell you will be very difficult for you to understand, but I want you to hear it," Jack told her turning her chin to face him. "As your mother was...dying...she realized what a horrible mistake she had made! She couldn't believe that she had done what she did! She was so worried about you." Nora was crying now and Jack was as well so he pulled her tighter. "The Bible says, all we have to do is ask and truly be repentant and we are forgiven...your mother asked...she was repentant. I gave her Last Rites and she was forgiven." He held her chin. 

"Now look at me and pay close attention," he commanded. Nora nodded. "Your mother is in Heaven, she is waiting for you there and watching over you always. Don't ever think otherwise." Nora wrapped her arms around Jack and they both shared a good cry. 

*** 

Alex was finishing the dishes when she saw the light on in her studio. She wiped her hands off and went to shut it off. She found her mother in there surveying some of the artwork. 

"Oh, sorry," Marylyn said standing up. "I hope you don't mind? Gavin showed me the room." 

"No," Alex said crossing her arms across her chest. "I don't mind." 

"What is this?" Marylyn asked pointing to an African sunset. 

"Gavin and I went to Africa, remember?" Alex asked her. "I was up all night giving vaccinations, as I was headed to bed I saw the sun coming up, I couldn't pass it up so I painted it." 

"It's beautiful," Marylyn smiled. "I love the way the colors wash into one another." Alex said nothing and didn't join her mother in the studio, instead standing in the doorway. 

"Still don't know how to take me, huh?" Marylyn asked picking up another painting. This one was of a scene of villagers. 

"I'm still...," Alex shrugged. "It's just...hell I don't know...shocking." 

"I agree," Marylyn smiled. She walked over to her daughter. "Of all the people who have a right to hate me...you do. So I don't blame you if you do." 

"I don't hate you," Alex said carefully. "I have never hated you...I...I just wanted your approval more than anything I guess." 

"And I was a fool not to give it," Marylyn smiled. "So let me say this. I am happy you found a man who makes you smile, a man who loves you. I am happy that you continued with your art despite my awful attempts to keep you from it because you have a gift!" Marylyn moved closer to her daughter. 

"In all the things I wish I could change," Marylyn whispered. "It's the relationship you and I don't have." Alex nodded as the tear leaked from the side of her eye. "I hope in time, we will have the relationship you wanted so long ago. I want it badly now that I know just how precious it is." 

"Mom," Alex shook her head. 

"No," Marylyn smiled. "I know it's a lot to process but know I am truly sorry for all the wrongs I have done to you. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I hope one day to receive it." Alex nodded and Marylyn put her arms around her daughter. Alex followed suit. 

"I love you Alexandria, I wish I had been a better mother to you," Marylyn choked out. Marylyn kissed Alex's head and then stepped back. "Goodnight." 

"Goodnight Mom," Alex whispered as Marylyn walked past her. 

*** 

Al carried Marylyn's bag into the house despite her protests. Walking into her home she found it comforting to be back. She looked around and found it exactly as she had left it. Al set the bags down and followed his wife from room to room. Walking into the living room she stopped. Things were not exactly as they were. In place of where the family photo once was proudly displayed, there sat a painting, one she remembered without a problem. 

"Oh," Al frowned as he looked to where she was looking. There on the wall was Alex's recreation of Andromeda, painted from memory from the New York Metropolitan Museum. "I will flip that back around to the family portrait." Al told her as she touched the paint gently. 

"No," Marylyn smiled. "Don't you dare cover up Alex's work! We will just have to update the family portrait and hang it somewhere else. But she stays right here." Marylyn smiled turning to him. Al nodded. 

"She is quite good isn't she?" Marylyn asked going back to him. 

"She is," Al agreed. "That comes from my side!" He teased. 

"That I don't doubt," Marylyn smiled taking the jab. 

***