3 comments/ 28013 views/ 0 favorites How i Came to Love being a Slave By: hotbox Saturday July 15, 2001 That mother fucker is history. Gone. Done. I got back from the hospital after the police arrested him. I'm glad I wasn't these when they got him. I don't know what I would have done. The phone's ringing off the hook and I'm not going to answer it again. His mom, then his sister called. Mrs. McSweeney started out nice, just concerned, wondering what in the world went wrong. All too soon she's calling me a liar! Her Robert would not hit me! I must have done something! 10 minutes after I hung up, his sister called. Kathy really wanted to help. Apologized for her mom. I guess they're all freaked out too. I guess I understand. But I just couldn't talk. I did think to tell her to come get her brother's stuff. I had already thrown everything out the window. I just told her I couldn't think straight and I'm still very scared, please just leave me alone now. I guess she came. I don't see his stuff outside. I'm going to a hotel. What if he comes here? i don't know how this works. Maybe I'll go to that shelter place. I've got the card they gave me in my purse. When you walk into an emergency room bleeding and crying, they are smart enough to ask what happened. You better believe I told them. Hell yes I want to press charges. I have a cracked rib and I needed eight stitches in my lip and twelve in my forehead above my eyebrow. I've got black and blue finger marks around my neck for God's sake. Rodney was arrested for assault and battery, something about domestic dispute and aggravated whatever. I do not care. He was stoned. I see now that he was trying to weasel some way to tell me what he'd done without looking like an asshole. When I found out he had emptied our "honey moon home" account, I just asked him what's going on. Yeah, I was upset, but I just asked. The muva fucker back-handed me right across my mouth and told me to shut up! We had... I had every fucking penny I owned in that account. That stupid bastard had to... had to.. pay a fucking gangster or something. He still owes them 10s of thousands of dollars! What is this? some 1950's movie? Our future home.. our dreams... everything GONE! and he hit me! And he kept hitting me. No matter what I said, he hit me. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door but he just broke it open. Everything is horrible. Trust, love, hope, future all collapsed in a jumbled wreck. I ran out the door, jumped in my car, went to the hospital. I'm broke. I don't want to ever see him again. I don't know what to say, I mean to write. That fucking bastard punched me when I cried and begged him to... just make everything right. Was that too much to ask? What about a home and a baby together? What about just going on together? Working and loving and oh shit! It's all gone. Some dumb government official was going to help me, or maybe it was some loser charity, I don't remember. A place to stay. Safe. away from danger. Care. I don't care. I didn't listen. House of something. Health services, Whatever. I left the hospital and went home. That asshole is in jail. Couldn't stay home. It's not home. Lease in both our names. Fucking apartment. I miss my Mom, my home. Why did I sell our home? OK. So I called the number on the card she gave me. I went to meet a bunch of pitiful losers. I can't talk. Went to shelter. It is shelter. They leave me alone. They do understand. At least I can sleep tonight. I got stoned first and cried myself to sleep. What do I do? I've got to write. This laptop is me. This diary helps. Always helps. Always helped. I'm me. No matter what. There is a future. I can stay here I think they told me. Going to sleep now. Maybe that'll help. Sunday August 5,2001 Being broke isn't so bad. Alice let me move in with her. The apartment is kinda small, but hey! we've been buddies forever. Her couch folds out to a very comfy bed and there's enough closet space since I hardly own anything anymore anyway. She even helped me move in. Alice was surprised when she tried to lift my valise, the one with my handcuff collection. When she dropped it (it must weight 60 pounds!) it fell open. I just laughed and told her that if she was good, I'd show her later. I guess it had to happen. We had been sort of lovers. I did not fold out the couch last night. Here's how it went... She kindly emptied one of her closets for me to use. It's the small one, but beggars can't be choosers and it was very sweet of her. After carrying in all of my crap, I wanted a shower. When I came out dripping wet, I realized I'd have to use her bedroom to get dressed again. I toweled off, slipped on a robe and went in her bedroom. Alice was sitting there brushing her hair. She had changed into a sheer nightie, no bra. "Damn! She looks great!" I could not help but think as I dried my hair. She turned and smiled. "You look so tired Jan, let me brush your hair. It will relax you. You've had a horrible time recently," she offered. I was exhausted and it sounded nice. I sat on the edge of her bed and she combed out my hair as she continued to blow dry it. Her tits bounced at my eye level as she worked. "She's not wearing any panties either," I thought. I could not help but notice that she shaved her pussy smooth too, just like I did. Her thighs straddled one of mine. Her nipples brushed my face. I could not stop thinking about her as she slowly brushed my hair. For some reason, she slipped my robe off my shoulders and let it slide to the bed. Our eyes met. She was breathing heavily and so was I. I could not stop myself. I gently stroked the inside of her thigh. She did not stop me. I slowly ran my hand around and caressed her ass. She spread her legs for me. Gently pulling my fingers back again across her pussy. It was wet. She looked at me, dropped the brush carelessly on the nightstand, and pulled open her nightie. She cupped her breasts in her hands and offered a nipple right to my mouth. How could I refuse? I kissed her nipple, gently sucking it in my mouth. She slipped off her nightie and let it drop to the floor. Without a word, I hugged her waist to me and let my kisses roam down her tummy. She knelt on the bed beside me and we kissed. Our tongues dancing together. We rolled onto the bed still embracing. Her fingers left a trail of sensations as she touched from my neck, down my side, to my crotch. Little shivers followed the path of her gentle touch. She gently doodled with her fingers on my mound. We laid together staring in each others eyes for a moment. In that fraction of a second, my heart soared like a bird for joy; my thoughts raged with chaos about jobs, debts, and living arrangements; I was ashamed, afraid, and deliriously happy all at the same time. She spoke first. She whispered, "Jan, I was afraid to tell you that I missed you for years. I have always loved you. Please don't leave me again. I had to have you move in, had to." All my fears evaporated instantly. I hugged her to me and whispered in her ear, "I love you too Alice. I didn't know but now I do. I don't care what anybody thinks. I'm not going anywhere if you'll let me stay." We kissed passionately. Hugging and petting each other frantically. We slid around to face each others pussy and she embraced my thighs as fervently as I did her's as we made love. Gawd! She tastes so good! Gawd! her tounge and lips are magic! After a while we were giggling like schoolgirls again. She finished brushing my hair. We tried out some new makeup together. It was so natural and fun! She told me she had enough money to get a bigger bed and sheets and stuff. I told her the bed was very cozy as it was. We laughed. See? It's not so bad being broke! Sunday February 3, 2002 I've got to get my thoughts together. Marie is so cool. I want to spend more time with her. We had so much fun together. We spent hours talking about everything. It's weird though. I am NOT queer, but she rocks in bed. I never thought I'd be one of those muff-diving lezzie weirdos. Eeeeeww! Crewcut and combat boots, Gross! No way! Is that next? Shit! what a horrible thought. I love my long hair and heels. I like my lipstick, my mascara, my bracelets, my artsy-fartsy fingernails... I love stillettos... I am NOT queer. I just found the perfect eyeliner! I look GOOD in a tiny little top and tineey little shorts. I know I do. Any normal woman likes to look attractive and I'm hot and I'm proud of it. Well... maybe I'm a little skinny. My breasts are too small. I wish they were as nice as hers. My ass is cute, or so I've been told. She has such a bod for an older woman! Whew! Looks like Pamela Anderson in "Barbwire" when she dresses up to play. But she's just fun. She certainly isn't queer. She had such a wonderful husband, such a nice life. It's so sad. Maybe that's why she just wants to play now. She's so experienced. When she tells me how she and her Arthur played bondage games, it's awesome. They loved each other so much. And she's so elegant and refined. Grand. That's the word. Grand. Interesting that she learned to like kink because of a deep love and a great marriage. I like kink despite that asshole Rodney. It was fun. He's a shithead. She played at being his slave. I'll bet she was hot, hot, hot. Men can be so weird with all their fetishes... well... maybe it's a good thing. Well... it is a good thing. She really loved him and she goes on and on about him. I guess he loved her. I guess he had a mental image of the sexiest woman in the world and she was proud to play-act and dress-up to become just that woman. I'm sure couples don't discuss this with their priests or ministers or whatever, but I can see a beautiful, deep love at work here. It's so sad that he died. Marie is such a wonderful person. She deserves some fun... maybe some love? in her life. Did I think that? There is nothing wrong with being gay. I heard it all the time at school. Everyone hears it on TV and in the news. I just never paid attention before. This is scary. I'm NOT gay! I'm not homosexual... come to think of it... I'm not heterosexual either... I'm just plain SEXUAL! Yeah, that's it! I hope I'm not queer. That's so scary. I'm NOT queer! Sex is NOT bad. It's fun to dress-up and play. Different games. Wild games. Totally un-real situations. It's like the bedroom is an amusement park. No reality needed here, or wanted. Bills and school and crappy jobs and broken-down car problems do not belong in the bedroom. This makes sense now. There's nothing wrong with a slightly slutty girl and a widowed ex-sex-slave playing at whatever they want! I'm the proud owner of a vagina... hear me roar! Geeze... that was corny. Skip the cliche's. But I'm on to something here. This is why everyone should keep a diary. I'm going to call Marie again. I've got to explain this. She'll understand. I know she will. When we were just stroking each other and kissing, it was not wrong. We both dressed in our fave slut-wear for each other, for OURSELVES. Yeah, I guess it's true. Women do dress for other women. Screw the men. They don't appreciate anything. Men are so infantile. A pushup bra and a low cut top and their minds stop working. Smile at them, grab their winky and lick the balls and they go rock hard instantly. Kiss the head a little, suck it into your mouth, lick around it like a loppypop and they can not think at all. Shit! now I'm thinking about cock. It is impressive when it grows big like that. Sort of makes my heart stop. Hard huge cock. Warm pulsing dick. Dripping with power. Power to go so deep inside me, it touches your soul. Feels like it bumps up against your throat so deep in me... I can't speak... not even squeek...only moan. Strong hands squeezing my ass. Hard muscle arms. Big wide shoulders. Flat muscle tummy pressed to my gut... squeezing my ass with those big rough hands. I like it when they grip my wrists and press me down on the bed and grind into me when they're on top... I think I'll take a little break here and go get a soda... be right back. Women know women. No man can possibly do what she did for me and I'm sure I gave her good stuff too. No. We gave each other the warmth and love that only females can know. It's a long, slow, warm, glow with a real woman. An endless feeling, not a minute's sensation like with a man. I got her off and knew exactly how to give her the best while she was driving me up the wall the same way. I think no guy could do that. When I was with Marie, we both touched each other and massaged and stroked... I'm going to get some crackers and cheese to go with this coke. Be right back. OK. Sex is powerful stuff. It's like a drug. I'm addicted. I know this. But gee whiz... I work, I pay bills, I was good in school, I'm a good girl, I get stuck in traffic, everyone sleeps a third of their life away! Life is tough for everyone. There's so little time to just be you. What's life for if you don't really really try to have just a few hours of pure fun when you can? I'm all mixed up. I swear I've only had assholes for dates and lovers. Men are so crude and stupid. I don't want to think about it. The only "love" I ever got from them was so they could get me turned on to use me. To get in my pants or get me on my knees was everything. Makes you feel like a fastfood joint paper napkin... disposable... nothing. The girls I approached were only using me too, to drive the guys crazy that they wanted to meet. Dance with a girl at a club and you get ten guys drooling. Whisper your plan to the girl and I've never been turned down for a three-way. But the other girl's only in it for the cock. They guy's in it for the biggest dream every guy has. I guess my idea of being in control so I won't get hurt is stupid. I just realized this for the first time as I wrote that last sentence. I'm getting a little teary. I don't want to write any more now. I'm back. I've got to work this out. Writing helps you think. #1 I miss my Dad who I only dimly remember when I was a toddler and through Mom. God I miss Mom, and I know that there are wonderful men out there. I just can't find one. #2 The only serious relation I had was with a muvafucker. That's over. Fuck him. Done. #3 Yes, I love kinky stuff and yes I'm horny as shit, of course, I'm 20, almost 21. I've got to do something. It's got to be real. It's got to make sense. #4 Marie is wonderful. She as horny and kinky as me. I'm going to focus on that. I will continue writing about yesterday. When Alice said she knew only one person as strange as me, Alice was joking. But I was really curious and asked who. I'm so glad I did. Marie had belonged to the and still kept in touch. I got her email address and suggested that we meet. Told her as much as I dared about being lonely and proudly perverted. Took a big chance but mentioned Alice and . We exchanged emails and it was pretty encouraging. When we met it was so weird. Lunch at for two lonely ex-sex slaves. Gawd I am glad I went. I don't care what the restaurant staff thought. I wore my pvc corset under my motorcycle jacket, short leather skirt, my dressiest ankle strap pumps, and fishnets of course. The crotch less pantyhose ones. No panties. I thought about wearing my little latex bikini bottom, but decided to be open... literally. I shaved extra carefully down there too. Yes! I did my slut to the max! My hair was a simple ponytail hanging down my back. I think it looks so cool that it brushes my tushie as I walk. I kept the makeup plain... well... I did use the deepest red lipstick I own and maybe the blue eyeshadow fading into white was a bit much... come to think of it... the makeup was slutty too. I had my nails done professionally earlier, neat glittery little silver stars on a hot red. I splurged. I chose my collection of silver chain bracelets. Nearly ALL of them. Huge honking things that probably each weigh a half a pound. Little girly ones. All mixed together on both wrists. I like these. I did the same with necklaces. Chokers piled on top of each other mainly. I think this looks so sexy, so major kinky. I got there a little early, about 1:40. We were supposed to meet at 2. I ordered a diet sprite to wait. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. What if she doesn't come? I really look like a whore. What if some creep comes up? What do I want to happen? What am I doing here at all? What if this is some sort of joke. What if she's a butt ugly butch bitch? I like the cool air touching me when I open my legs a little. It's so naughty to be shaved and uncovered under my skirt. Gee, I hope this isn't a big mistake. I want to try to find... something. Marie walked in. It had to be her. Shoulder legnth blond hair, nice hairdo, little flip at the ends, cute bangs. It accentuates her face nicely. I figured she must be 50, but stunning. All black leather... cool! Nice skirt... ooh... it's got a side slit. Gawd she has beautiful legs... like Tina Turner! Short booties that lace up. Sexxy heels must be four maybe five inches... nice. Medium dark hose looks conservative, but great on her. She must be asking where our reserved table is. She looks at me. She smiles. What a lovely smile. Big grin actually, like that actress that played in Erin Brockovich whatever her name is. She waves. Ooh... cute leather gloves too. Ha! the look on the greeters face! That girl must think this is a dominatrix convention. She's blushing! Ha! This is cool. She's going to wet her pants or shit herself or something. Gee, Marie walks so dignified in those heels. I can see why guys talk about the way a woman walks. Her hips sway with each step so nice, so smooth. Hypnotizing actually. She's wearing a pale pink satin blouse under a refined looking leather jacket. Ooh! She's got a leather waist cincher on too. Wow, is she hot. "You must be Janet, I am Marie. So nice to meet you," she said. She removed a glove and offered a hand. Nice nails, not fancy, but I like long pretty nails. Nice color. You can tell when a woman likes herself by her nails. The dumpy, crabby girls in school and at work are always nail biters with plain nails. Oooh, she wore three shiny smooth silver bangles. They fell together and made that neat jingling sound I like. They're so shiny, like tubular mirrors. I took her hand and beamed up at her, "So nice of you to come Marie." She sat and a waitress appreared immediately. Ha! I'll bet they want to get rid of us quick! Too bad. I think this is going to be fun. Marie asked the waitress," I see that booth in the corner is empty. The one behind the pillar and plants. Can we move there? Can you bring a gin & tonic to that table for me?" The waitress looked relieved at the idea, "Yes Ma'am, no problem, I'll be right there with your drink and menus. Please go ahead to the booth if you like." Marie looked at me and I swear her eyes twinkled, "I think we should move to a more private setting. Will you accompany me?" I like this woman. "Sure. Whatever you say," is all I said. I smiled at her and she at me. We talked for hours. This is why I'm pretty darned sure that we really are kindred spirits. It's crazy that two women would just start discussing men and love, marriage and horrible dates, high heels and corsets, sex games and role playing... but that's what we did. It was like we both had this powerful need that neither of us had even put into words before. This off-the-wall, spur-of-the-moment meeting was like sunshine pouring down after a gray cold winter. You hoped for it without knowing exactly what it was that you missed. She has the neatest smile. Big wide grin with pretty blue-gray eyes. She laughs a lot too. Oh. I had a salad. She had a club sandwich. She ordered more gin & tonics and offered to switch my sprite while the waitress was gone. That was nice. I got a little buzz. She said the nicest things. She said I looked just like that actress, Jennifer Garner, on "Alias." I think I blushed. I'm not that pretty. She laughed. Oh.. she's not 50, she's 42. How i Came to Love being a Slave I guess the early dinner crowd was starting to arrive. Marie brought the conversation back to her house in the 'burbs. She said she'd like me to see it. Wow she's smooth. No guy ever delivered a smoother pick-up line before. I felt so comfortable with her. I had no doubt and quickly agreed. We paid the bill. Well, actually she did, she insisted. I just left a tip, but a nice one for the embarrassed working girl who was really pretty nice to us. We got in our cars. My Chevy is exactly as old me and I look a lot better. It's embarrassing but it runs. She has this silver Acura SUV. It's so neat. I followed her home. She had mentioned her home, but wow! It is gorgeous! She did not sell it when Arthur died. No magazine I've ever seen had a better looking home. Big two storey traditional looking colonial, light beige with mauve trim (sounds dumb, looks good). Big front porch with a swing. Two car garage on the left. It has remote control doors too. She drives into the garage on the right. I parked in the big long driveway in a parking spot off to the right. "That must be a beautiful garden in the spring," I thought. She went through her home and opened the front door for me. Stunning two story vestibule, elegant chandelier hanging by a long chain way up there... pretty impressive. We put our coats in a hall closet and started up up the stairs to the big bedroom. I knew what I was doing and it felt perfectly right. She wanted to show me her favorite toys she explained. Gorgeous cast iron canopy bed. Adorable antique furniture, but not stuffy looking, elegant. The bed is king size, of course, I thought as I plopped on the edge and looked around. Marie surprises me and kneels in front of me. She takes my hands in hers. "I want you to know," she says, "that I've never done this before, I've never invited a anyone home like this, but I'm so glad you are here. Your emails out-of-the-blue touched me. I think we are very much alike." She kissed my fingers. She climbed onto the bed beside me and we kissed. This was no show for the boys at the dance club. This was no nightclub slut playing games. This was great. I yielded like you do to a guy, but she was so warm and inviting like a woman that I got into it and kissed her back hard. We sort of took turns leading who was kissing who like some sort of a dance. I stroked her thigh and slid my hand up her skirt. She did the same. Ah ha! she's wearing thigh-high hose and no panties... she shaves too... how cool. We groped and stroked and kissed and fell over together. So nice! We slowly undressed each other in between drooling all over each other. It was funny. It was fun. We were both getting soooo turned on. We were both laughing like crazy. My favorite ''slut-wear" must have been easy for her. I mean, I wanted to stay in my heels and corset, so she had to only remove a skirt. Maybe I'm just not experienced enough at undressing a woman. I mean I had trouble with her bra (Ha!). I had to loosen her cincher to help her with her blouse, but she wanted the cincher back on. (told you... she's a lot like me). Besides, I could see that she wanted to feel the lacing being pulled, the cincher getting tighter by someone else's hands. I know that feels wild, so cool. I saw her suck in a breath as it tightened. I noticed I breathed heavily too as I did it. So there we both were. Kissing and stroking each other... take off an item of clothes... kiss some more... laugh hysterically.... fondle each other some more. Eventually it's just jewelry, corsets, hose, and heels. Gawd, she's pretty. This is so wicked. I am dripping wet down there. Soooo ready to go! She goes to this one dresser in the corner and calls me over. There is one drawer full of leather stuff. So cool. Arthur found these belts years ago that are about two inches wide with a double row of chrome grommets the entire length of the belt. Big clunkey chrome roller buckle with two prongs on each belt. Cool bondage toy. You can put locks in the grommets, you can add the belts together to make any length, a million uses she explained. She had at least a dozen. There were gags and harnesses and collars and all sorts of expensive stuff that I've only seen on internet porn stars. Shiny black leather, thick good quality, cool chromed hardware, obviously well maintained with love, carefully arranged. It excited me just to feel the stuff. There was another drawer full of metal toys. Handcuffs galore, all sorts that I'd never seen before, legirons, a chastity belt (wow! they really make those!) all sorts of chains and locks and clamp thingies I didn't even recognize. I bet she knows what they do and I bet they're fun. Metal is my fave. I like chrome as much as some high school motorcycle freak, but I'm talking toys here that are so pretty, not mufflers or something. I guess cool shiny metal has always been special to me. It's so permanent, so unyielding, strong. Then there was another drawer. I'd never seen so many vibrators, dildos, and pump things before. I felt like a five year old at Christmas. Marie hugged my waist and sighed, "except for this drawer, I haven't really used this other stuff for a while." She looked sad. I know she missed her hubby and the games they must have played. I'm going to stress here that I've never felt more comfortable or safer in my life. This woman, a stranger just a few hours ago, was showing me things exactly like my own deepest desires and secrets. I grabbed a pair of handcuffs and closed them on my wrists (that clicking, ratcheting sound is hot hot hot). "Marie, this is sooo hot!" I said, "this vibe looks like fun... and that one. Let's try them OK?" She looked like she was going to cry and smiled at the same time. We grabbed handfuls of toys and plopped back on the bed. This might be the most important evening of my life I'm writing down here. We played until dawn. We each had dozens of orgasms, shit! maybe hundreds, or one endless one, who cares? She chained and strapped me a dozen different ways... I don't know how many different ways. I could tell that this is what her hubby used to do to her. She was both very experienced at it and very clumsy at the same time. I loved it. She loved it. I never had a single worry. And damn! all of those vibes and dildos are great and so are her fingers and her lips and her tongue! Oooh, that tongue! She sucked my clit into her mouth and did something with her tongue flicking back and forth or around or something that I could not believe. I pulled on my chains and squirmed and "mppphted" into my gag like crazy while she did it. What I was actually saying was stuff like "more!" don't stop!" "please don't stop!" Oh Gawd!" She kept me just under getting off for sooo long and I NEVER EVER went so long before when I did get off. Gawd! What a rush! At the time, I didn't know if it was minutes or hours. It was timeless. It was not real how it felt, how it made me wild. I didn't know that my clit got hard and big like that! What a suprise! It looked like a little cock! She made ME hard!?!?! How can that be? What did she do? I did my very very best to give the same back to her. Judging my her moans, I must have been pretty good too. By that time, I had her holding a leash with me in a leather dog collar. I got the impression that the dog collar was something special to her. When I selected it and tried it on, she looked sort of sad, sort of dreamy. Then she smiled, clicked a padlock on the back buckle and a chain leash on the front. She looked wicked happy now! Big evil grin as she pulled me down by that leash! When we were finally finished, we were both simply naked and asleep in each other's arms. I've never been able to do this simple thing with anyone before. You always hear about sleeping wrapped up in your lover's arms, and it does sound so romantic. The reality is that someone always moves. Or some part of your body goes to sleep and it gets old. Or some dumb guy farts and laughs about it or something. It lasts just a few minutes and then is a disappointment. But this was warm and cozy and fun. Like a little girl's sleep over but after the best possible sex. Oh, how dreamy! I woke still touching her, snuggled up under her arm. She was warm, soft, comfortable. Damn! She looks great in the morning too. How does she do that? Her hair and makeup still looked great. Well, actually it was about noon. She loaned me a pretty pink shear robe, some super open-toe heels with fluffy-looking feathers. Looked like something a Playboy bunny from the 50's would wear... suprising how comfy they are. She had coffee already made and offered breakfast. We quickly agreed on "The Great American Clogged Artery Breakfast" is what she called it: fried crisp bacon, fried eggs, fried sausage, and buttered toast, lots of butter. I think she was showing off. Maybe that's what her hubby used to like. I didn't ask. We talked a lot more. Work. Homes. Apartments. Cars. Baseball. She likes baseball. I don't know anything about baseball, but she made it sound so fun and exciting. We took quick showers. She's got two big bathrooms upstairs alone! Whirlpool tubs and everything. Fancy removable showerhead on flexible metal hose. It has a lot of adjustable settings. Gave me ideas. Maybe some other time. Even her spare hair drier is much better than my only one. I brushed my hair out straight and let it hang. Not bad looking just falling over my shoulders and down my back. We got dressed again and I fixed my makeup. I needed to look good. She came to help me lace my corset. Nice! Gee, I felt great. So alive. I noticed that she had dressed for me too. No frumpy sweats or tattered blue jeans. She had these skintight shiny leather pants with zips on the ankles, sleeveless white turtleneck, lovely jingly tangle of sliver bracelets, cool black booties again. Just for me? That was so thoughtful. She has nice taste... and what a bod! Her nipps really poked that top out. We talked some more. I made certain that she wrote down my phone number. I got hers too. There was a brief moment of uneasiness. I guess she felt very strange. I mean... I'm certainly not anyone's dead husband. I can't imagine what was going through her mind but I had to tell her... what? What can I say? I quickly blurted out," Please call me the next time. Marie, it's hard to explain. This was fun! But it was so much MORE than just fun. Don't get all weird on me Marie, please. We can be great friends. You had fun too right?" I was really worried that sounded weird, desperate, strange. I sort of bit my tongue and stopped. She actually did a double take. I guess she didn't know that I had seen her uncertainty. "Yes... yes, I had fun too Janet. I was... I admit... Jan, it was much more than just fun for me too," was what she said, "that was something very special." I swear I've never felt so light hearted in my life. I made her promise to call me. "Don't be like a high school boy and just say you'll call. Call me!" is what I said. We kissed deeply at the door for a very long time. I went home. So. Here it is late Sunday evening and I'm trying to figure out what happened. What a craaazy first date! Over 24 hours! I'm sitting at my computer writing in my diary like I do all the time. But everything is different. I am NOT some fag hag but I really feel something. I want to talk to Marie. This is scary. The only other time I thought I was in love was a fucking train wreck... NO I'm not going to think about that asshole. Wait a minute. I'm thinking about love, not just hot sex. I'm confused again. I hope she calls. Maybe I'll call her. Monday February 4, 2003 As soon as I got home from work, I saw a phone message on my machine. It was Marie! Whoopee! She wants to know if we can have dinner some night this week. I took off my coat, went to pee, and picked up the phone as fast as I could. She gave me her office number to call. We're going to have dinner tomorrow at her house. She gave me her schedule for when she gets home. Gee, she works a lot! She runs the company Arthur started. I keep finding neat things about her. She's a high-powered businesswoman. That seems right. I don't know why she wants to hang out with a plain dumb girl like me. I wanted to see if we could get together tonight, but she wouldn't get home until about 8. I chose tommorrow only because it's too late for tonight. I hope I don't bore her. I hope I don't fuck this up. I sort of tried to invite myself every night this week. Oops! She didn't seem to mind. She just laughed, didn't say no... hmmm. Let's think about that,.. didn't say no. I think we are both going to dress more "vanilla" on a week night. Made myself dinner. Same old same old. She is so cool. I'm sitting here getting turned-on just thinking about her. New material for when I masturbate. In fact, I think I'll take a nice shower and go to bed early . Wednesday February 6, 3003 Had a lovely dinner with Marie last night. Skipped writing cause it was late. She is devine. I get there and she had just come home. She's wearing a conservative gray skirt and silvery blue blouse. Plain looking jewelry. There was a matching jacket, nice business suit thing on the back of a kitchen chair. That must have been what she wore because that would have been a snooty looking buisness suit. Not that she's snooty! That's not it. But she looked so... proper... refined... professional. Low heels, dark plain hose, that sort of thing. I'm wearing torn holey jeans, scuffed-up running shoes, and a Suzuki motorcycle tee shirt. I realized I look like a child after I got there. I felt so stupid. She didn't say anything. She's amazing. We stuck a chicken breast in the oven. made garlic mashed potatos and broccoli while we talked. We shared a bottle of this fancy white wine. Nice stuff. This is fun. So much nicer than what I make myself. And such a nice kitchen! Afterwards, just to make sure we were both on the same page, I started fondling her butt jokingly as we put stuff away. We were on the same page. We lunged at each other, kissing madly, leaning against every surface in the kitchen. OK! Up the stairs we sprinted. I like her bed. You can't miss when you dive on something that big. It's amazing how quick we both stripped, tossing clothes every which way. Just warm, wet, wonderful loving all night long. Wow she's hot! Makes me hot too, maybe makes me a better lover that ever before. Today was the first day I went to work from her house in the morning. She gets up way too early, but actually makes breakfast. I could get used to this. Thursday February 7, 2003 Hot. Wet. Passion. Desire. Kiss-lick-suck-kiss-nibble-suck. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Did I actually go to work today? I'm not sure. I can only think about Marie and last night. Marie and last weekend. Marie's lips. Maria's other lips. Maria's tounge. The taste of Maria. Marie's eyes. Marie's ears. She's so ticklish is you kiss her ear or neck! Marie's laugh. If I did anything at work today at all, I probably just bumped into walls with a big grin on my face. I wonder if I got fired? Had another message on my machine when I got home. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Marie wonders if I'd like to spend the weekend at her place! Oh yeah! And she wonders if we should dress-up a bit. Oh yeah! She's like to see any toys that I might like to bring. Oh yeah! Monday February 11, 2003 I did not want to go to work today. I really really wanted to call in sick. But Marie won't do that. It's her company. I think if you own the company you should take off whenever you want. I pouted, I whined, but it didn't do any good. She went to her office, so I went to my crummy job. Let's see... how do I describe my weekend for future generations to ponder? Friday night I left work two hours early. My friends will cover for me. No one will miss me. Fuck it! I don't care. I run home and kink out completely. I've already packed every bondage toy and bit of slut-wear that I own into two suitcases, So all I have to do is shower at the speed of light, shave my legs and "other things" (very carefully I might add), and dress. I have to be careful putting on my prize latex hose and shoulder-legnth latex gloves. This is porn-star stuff, heavy artillery. I spray eveything with armor-all from the auto parts store. The stuff is too sticky, but you can wipe most of it off and it looks great. Baby powder me, then inside everything. Roll it on, smooth it down. No wrinkles wanted. Check the mirror. Oh yeah! HOT! Then there is my fave pcv bustier. No. She's seen it. I also have this cheezy thing, but it does look nice from a distance. It's rubber about as thick as a balloon over lycra. But it cups under my boobs and frames them nicely. I need all the help I can get with my boobs, they're so small (sob!). Zips up the back. Spread open the crotch slit. It's supposed to be "open crotch," but it really squeezes you so your labia lips stick out of a little slit. OK. That's it. I select a nice pair of ankle-strap pumps that were great for dancing... well not actually dancing. They're fuck-me pumps plain and simple. But if I'm lucky... and I DO feel lucky... I probably won't be on my feet much anyway. Besides, I like the little straps and the shiny buckles. Very cute. I select my jewelry carefully. Very important to me. Four clinky bangles on my right wrist. Three big chains on my left. No watch. I won't care what time it is. I wind my special home-made chain choker around my neck. Three loops, then close the clasp. I have these super earrings too. They're just shiny dangly chain a couple inches long. I bought three pair! Hey, I've got three piercings in each ear and this looks cool. I check the mirror again. Oh Yeah! Slut supreme! I wonder how much money porn stars make? Lots? Do they have fun or is it just a job? I go with pale, almost white, flavored lipstick (OK, it's butterscotch) and hope she doesn't think this is childish. I keep the mascara and liner simple because I hope I won't need to touch it up for quite a while. Just primp and color the lashes a bit. I'm ready to go go go! Oops! I better put on a trench coat or something. If I were pulled over for speeding, I'll bet I could batt my lashes and talk my way out of a ticket... male OR female cop... I'm sure. I feel great! Her house looks dark and I worry for a second till I see the lights are on upstairs. It's just that the drapes are drawn, so it looks dark. Grap my suitcases. Prance to the front door. Ring the bell. The door opens and Marie looks more stunning than I though possible! She's got a catsuit! Whoa! Cool! A Ferrari red catsuit so shiny is practically sparkles. Open crotch. Exposed boobs. High neck. Corset lacing and chrome buckles everywhere. Whoa! Wiiilld looking! Matching high red boots with ridiculous heels. What... are they five inches? She's on her toes! How can she walk in those? I realize that maybe she isn't planning to be on her feet much either. But she still moves so gracefully! How? the arch of her instep looks sooo sexxy! She says a cheerful, "Hi!" reaches out and cuffs my right wrist in an instant. She spins me around and cuffs my hands behind my back. Grabs my suitcases, slides them inside, and kisses me, tounge everywhere in my mouth. This is going rather well, I thought. I guess we both should be glad that her house is seperated from any neighbors by thick trees. Even through winter's bare trees, you couldn't really see the next houses. I kind of like shocking people a little, but wow, we would have been arrested for sure for that sort of "hello, how are you?" She finally closed the door while she nibbled my neck. "Well?" she says, "get your toys upstairs. I'll be right behind you." Wait a minute, I think. I'm handcuffed. I'm still wearing a trench coat. How am I supposed to so that? "I'll help you," she says and reaches for my pussy. She's pressing me helplessly against a wall, mushing my clit between her finger and thumb, biting my neck and ear and this is helping me? Gee, she's got an evil grin. How i Came to Love being a Slave She puts one hand on my shoulder and pushes me down while she has a finger or two in my vagina. "You can pick up your suitcase. Try," she orders, grinning like crazy. OK, so I reach the handle. It's full of rather neat stuff and kind of heavy. I have to bend forward to lift it. She switches around behind me and keeps fingering inside me. "Good girl! Now up the stairs you go!" She says. I trudge up the stairs. This is not easy! Wow, that feels good! What the hell is she doing? She keeps fucking with me every step of the way. I have to spread my legs, climb stairs in fuck-me pumps, waddling like a duck, bent over so my face almost bumps the stair in front of me, with a heavy suitcase pressing and bumping on my ass. Fun. Wwooo, that feels strange! She will NOT stop fingering me! And now she's pinching my clit! "Good girl! Drop your toys anywhere," she says and she's idley twisting my nipps in her fingers. "Do you need to go potty or anything?" she asks nice and plain like nothing unusual is happening. "No thanks, I'm fine," I say. So she locks a leather collar on me that was laying on her makeup table. I see that it has a chain that leads to the bed about five feet away. OK, I think, I guess this is where we will be for a while. She uncuffs my right hand. We take off my coat. I'm almost disappointed until I realize that she is pulling my left still-cuffed hand around to my front and up to the chain on my collar. She padlocks the cuff chain about a foot from my neck. Then she recuffs my right hand too. "Make yourself comfy Sweety. I'll get your other case. Then we can see what you brought," she says as she heads back down the stairs. Let me summerize the remainder of the evening. One of my cases contained my handcuff and legiron collection. She has a wild collection too. First: I never got more than five feet from the bed. Second: I had no idea what dozens of cuffs and irons on you at one time felt like, many different ways. Now I know. Third: She gets as excited by this stuff as I do and she can do things to me that I can barely describe. Fourth: I had to try to sleep totally cuffed in a ball with my face jammed in her crotch. I saw that she slept just fine. I did not. And she kicks a little in her sleep. And she still had her WICKED boots on with all that pointy chrome hardware and fine, fine heels. I bit her a little to try to wake her. She calmly got up and gagged me... tightly too I must add! Buckled it hard! Then she just pushed me on the floor off the bed! Ouch! Really ouch! What's that? a two foot drop? Then she calmly climbs back in bed (geeze, she's got an EVIL grin!) and went back to sleep! Luckily for me, she gets up early. I guess I had been gagged in a ball of cuffs on the floor for only about three hours. ONLY three Hours! My hands and feet were blue! My jaw hurt from that big ball gag deep in my mouth! My nose hurt from the metal ring on the gag! I hurt all over! The marks stayed on my arms and legs when she FINALLY removed all the cuffs! Did she unlock me in the morning? NO! I stayed collared and chained to the bed. She made me beg to use the bathroom. Kept me on the chain, standing there with me like you watch your dog pee. But she did remove all the cuffs and irons first, then my gloves and hose (with proper care, I must add) and massaged me with warmed (nice touch) moisterizers until I fell asleep. She's been on the receiving end of that scene before herself, I'm sure. Actually thinking about it now as I write this, it wasn't that bad and it had many, many delightful moments. Actually... it was WILD and she can do that anytime she wants. Saturday morning I wake up and remember where I am. Gee, the collar is begining to feel like part of me. I hardly notice the cold chain against my shoulder. Marie had actually gone back to sleep with me and I woke first. My arms and legs don't look bad, but you can still see impressions from cuffs. The marks go from the backs of my hands all the way up my upper arms. On my legs they go from the top of my feet to just below my knees. It's a bit sore here and there, but not bad. She's beautiful. I can't help just watching her sleep peacefully. Still in red latex and boots! She's got these neat bracelets. They're wide cuffs with really pointy spikes. Interesting alternating pattern those spikes. I just lay there fingering them, sort of running my fingers around them idley watching her sleep. Besides, I feel simply right just waiting for her. She wakes. She blinks once or twice and sees me. She grins. "Good morning Sweety, sleep OK?" she asks as she stretches. "Just fine Marie," I answered. She fingers my chain laying on the bed all around me. She pulls me to her with it and kisses me. She holds me there by my chain. We are eye to eye. Here she said something that stopped me for a second, "You know, you may address me as 'Mistress' whenever you wear a collar. Don't you think that's a good idea?" I swear my heart fluttered. I felt that this was something special, no longer just fun play, still lots of fun, but more, much more. "Yes Mistress, of course Mistress," I cooed and snuggled against her, looking up into her eyes. She beamed down at me. I love that smile of hers! "So... go make us some breakfast. You know where everything is," she says. She reaches into a nightstand drawer and retrieves a key. The chain is unlocked from the collar and falls clattering on the bed frame, then the floor. The collar is now just a pet store dog collar buckled in the back. I could take it off. I do not. "Of course Mistress. Coffee first Mistress?" I ask, climbing out of our bed. "First you should dress. I saw some nice lingerie and shoes in your second suitcase. Why don't you show me something nice, something you like? Do you want to take a shower first?" she suggests. "Later, with your permission. I'll get coffee first," I said digging around in my suitcase. I chose a teeny red lacy thong and matching half-bra. I also had a shear, bright red teddy with lace trim. I found my pumps that matched the red. These shoes are actually comfy. I've worn them all day before. I sneak a look at myself in the full-legnth mirror on a closet door. I look smashing. And the black leather and chrome hardware on the collar contrast with all the red, accentuating both. "Is this OK Mistress?" I ask with real concern for her approval. "You look delicious," she said, "get the coffee. It should be ready." Let me summerize Saturday. While I made breakfast, she changed. She came into the kitchen all in black satin as I was beginning to wonder if I should look for a tray to take breakfast to her. We had a luxurious breakfast. We went back to bed and did a little tounge and suck for a while. We showered together. We primped each other like schoolgirl buddies. We went back to bed for a while again. She showed me the whole house. It has a full basement too. I was not really suprised to be shown a really cool dungeon. Arthur must have been a fairly handy carpenter, or very rich, or something. There were manacles on chains attached to the walls and ceiling all over the place, in some very... thought provoking places. There was a stock that would hold someone standing all stretched out... upside down. There was something like a rack or complex examination table, leather straps everywhere. There was a stock that would keep someone standing bent over, ass and crotch completely open and up. Neat stuff. Dark stained wood. Great workmanship. Smooth to the touch. Carefully carved and smoothed to fit the female form perfectly. Wild design ideas. Everything locked with big padlocks on chromed hardware, nice touch. Someone was genius, a very, very perverted genius. My hero! What a playground! I'm trying to just summerize here or I'll be writing forever, but that rack thing is really something! Yes, we tried it. I think she saw me eyeing it and knew I was interested. First she gagged me. "For the full effect you know," she said. A thick leather panel covered my lower face and it had a big, thick roll of leather sticking in my mouth. Leather straps every which way, pulled it very tight into my mouth, squeezed my jaw down, ran around back of my head, ran down either side of my nose and over my head buckling in the back. She gestured to the rack and I laid down. I was strapped down to the rack everywhere with these leather straps that are built into it. My forehead. My neck. Across my chest. In an X between by boobs over my shoulders, twice over my waist, wrists, elbows, upper arms, thighs, upper calves, ankles, across my feet, even through my toes. She even strapped down my fingers... each one seperately! She worked at it for a half hour! Of course, she kissed or licked or nibbled between every step. Unreal... dreamy... slowly strapped until solidly in her control. I could not move anything even the tiniest fraction of an inch. I struggled like a demon just to try it out. A couple tiny squeeks from leather and wood was all I could get, no movement at all. I liked this. Mistress gently stroked my mound, nibbled on my nipps, stood up, and smiled. Then she started to crank the thing! Whoa! Wait a second! I thought. For a second I was really terrified! I thought it was going to do something like real medevial racks and start breaking bones! I could not make a sound! I could only blink my eyes! Shit! But no. Wait. Whew! It didn't hurt. It was sort of like at the gynecologist. My legs were spread wide, my hips thrust way up, like for a doctor's inspection.... only a lot more so... but suprisingly comfortable. My arms and shoulders rotated down, pushing my boobs up in the air. My vagina and anus completely vulnerable. Right out there in the open. Gee, there's like spot lights on my pussy from above. I could not have felt more helpless. She stood between my legs with that evil grin of hers. Did I mention the motorized dildos yet? The pumps and hoses? Warm oils? Cold soapy water? The wine bottle? Oh well... I have a funny feeling I'll have plenty of opportunities to describe that later. Sunday was wonderful too. We just lounged. I bathed her in a tub. Shampooed her hair. Helped her make herself "naturally blond" as she called it. We shaved each other. That was fun! We went back to bed for a while. Brought her tea. I did her toenails. Went back to bed again. We read the Sunday papers together and watched some TV. Went back to bed for a while. Made dinner together. I did not want to go home. Since she gets up so fucking early, I could go home tomorrow morning and have plenty of time to get to work. Hey! I've got an idea. Why don't we call in sick tomorrow? It didn't work. Shit! We went back to bed one last time this weekend. We went to sleep. In the morning, I had to take off my collar. Are you sure we can't call in sick? No? Well... that was my weekend. We did talk on the phone today. She wants me to come over Tuesday night again. She was laughing at the time, but she also said, "if you're a good girl, you can stay the weekend again too." I am thrilled. I am smitten. I'm going to masturbate myself to sleep tonight thinking about our next time together. Maybe I should just leave my toys there if she lets me? Or maybe she wants to "help me" take them up the stairs again? Got to go to bed now. It's late, I wrote too long. I will have interesting dreams. Wendesday Febuyruary 13,2003 I realized somehting.AnD not just that i'm drunk neither. Got to write it out to be cleear. Might be hard Im' drunk a bit. Never got myself srunk before alone. I always write like some one like me might readnig. a stranger. I have to imagime an curious litlle gilr a 100 years from now whants toknow what I am. this is what I write since i was littel. My soul. My story. Always write for that litlle girl to explain me, I've alway wrritn like to myself as a child alone inthe futuree strange country. Always. See? Here;s the thing, I just realized Marie can my cliteris HARD!. Undertsmd? But only when I,m completlty chained and helpless and gagged! This is the very very bing thimg! Maybe tha'ts why I wantd ro drink herwine tomight? Anyway,,,, Marie is very very very think about her almost all the time. When I'm not with her, I'm rubbing myslf wishing I wa withe her. My hand is immy lap now! i can't help ot! I can fell wet in my jeans, warm too,\Here's the big think, she made my clitorus get HARD like a man's cock. I didn't even kno that could happen. Gad I',m dri drunk. Here's the big thing, Only when I'm chained down doe sthis happen .not all the time. When she gets me complety helpless and I cant move even an inch, she plays me like a violinm or sometinh. Fuck! how does she do taht? That bitch! O gawd I want her! That cunt!!! Gawd I can;t even think about it wiyhout getting turned on! She licks an nibbles real slow. I want moere! Icant do or even say anything I'm gagged too. My jawhurts Marie!Then she plays inside me.. real slow fingers my G.spot. Funny soft. runs her fingers aroind my asshole. Pushes in my butthole. Vasoline fingre. She never mixees up which finger geos where. Massagse and squeezs and even pincjes my labia! Puils my lips with her teeth! I want more but she just smiles. I also now like wine. She gave me htis nice merlot and ive had most of the second bi\ottle now. Red wine is good for you. It's from hers. It is really goog stuiff, I'm sure. sOme fancy vintage i;m sureShe;s so classy. notl ike me. The otrhe bottle was very good to. She's so Marie I want you!!!!!!! to fuck with me!! She gets me so horny I cant' do anything then she starts ro suck my clit while she doesnt stop all the other in m,y ass love fingres inside me Slow slow slow. Hurry up Marie please I cant say anything cant move can't get to muself. Then she sucks and licks amdsucks and sucks and licks around my clit so slow bnut so hard. It's like she's going to suck ALL of me insided her mouth and I get hard like a boy/ and it fells so god. A girls clit CAN"T grow like thar! I KNOE how to finger myslf! I;ve been stinking my fingers inme since firever! But I CANT do that to meself! ONly she can,,, and her's the big thing... only when I;m comletlty chained and spred and gaggeg! Seee? That;s the bigthimg! She sucsk real hARD! and flicks her tonge so hard abd fast O gog! But it;s not hard its so gentel/ no its hard See? She's going to suck all of me inher? My clit sticks Up like a little cock! and she just smile!!!!!! This wine is nice. The bottls gone now and I;m going to masturbating myslf as I think about Marie. She has to chain me down more. I'll do anythong to get there with her. I'll must explaim this to Marie. I wish I was with Marie in her chains SHe has such an EVIL smile. She knows what shr's doing. Whenshe decides she's going to let me cum ewhen she's got me like that there nothing like that ever. She make me go on and om and on and one and on,, waves and waves and wabesa nd wves of hot! Se? How cam she do that> She jsust sucks and tounge alll around and I get off like never before, But here's the thing, only when I'm completely cuffed and chined down and spread open and gagged and I can;t move. She make s my clit big! How can she do thaty? Then she palys with it and I can;t stop her I cant make her do more... pleas moer Marie! But i all I can do is make noise s thruogh th gag! Marie justSTOPs to listen and smiles! "Dont stop please" sounsd lieke " mmmg mmmp nnnllhh!" If when i screem "MARIE!!!" it comes only out as "MLLLLLLE!!!" Damm gag! I've must go to bed now. but I will masturnate about Marie first. I want Narienow. I've got to tell her maybe she wants me to beg? She sys I give her good head afterwerds after when She fucks with me like that.It;s her chains and Ican't move even an inch! Calls me her "goodgirl: cals me her "hotbox!" when she taks my gag off and sits on me face.too slow Marie. Hurry up! I'll do it! Good night now can't sit up more. Thursday February 14, 2003 This diary has always been for an imaginary, future audience to help put my life in perspective. And maybe... who knows?... someday someone might read it. I seldom read what I've written when it is finished. However, I just finished reading what I wrote last night. I'm not going to delete or change it. Even though there is a lot of gibberish, there is also a brilliant, shining moment of truth that merits being preserved. Reflecting on how I felt, I see why I made myself very drunk. I crossed a significant milestone in my life. It is both beautiful, and terrifying. I am passionately in love with a wonderful woman. I am addicted to her unique skills at perverted love-making. I have no choice but to place myself completely under her control. I crave her extremely wicked artistry like nothing I could even imagine previously in my life. When I give myself to her, I achieve a peace and satisfaction that is impossible to explain. There are no words for it. It is NOT that i lose my identity. It is NOT that i stop having conscious thoughts. During the rollercoaster ride and fireworks display that IS our lovemaking, we meld together. Like a symphony orcestra reaching the cresendo of a passionate performance, She conducts and I follow seamlessly as one. My emotions, feelings, sensations swell to unimaginable heights in perfect sync to her actions. I know this happens to her too. I've watched her nostrils flare, her mouth twist in creative rapture, totally absorbed like an great artist in a masterful performance. When she has finished with me, I can't say if I am completely drained or if I am completely filled. When she holds me and murmers reassuring words in my ear, strokes my hair, I never want it to end. Never. Ever. There. I've said it. Or rather written it as I always do. This is serious. There is no going back now. I am clear headed as I write this. My feelings are clear too. This is exactly what I have always wanted. I just did not know until now. Peace, satisfaction, and warmth grow inside me as I write this. These are not childish sensations. These are the result of an adult, conscious decision. I will belong to Marie. I will perorm any act, play any role, that she desires. I eagerly await her next command. I will earn her love on whatever terms she gives. This is no "dress up" game any longer. She has truly enthalled me. I will have her as my one true love and become her one true love too. I will make certain that she knows this. I am going to call Marie now. It's late. She gets up early. I hope she understands. I am going to tell her now. Tuesday 9:00 PM February 18 2003 It snowed like a son-of-a-bitch. The whole East Coast was shut down. Ha! Snow day like in school! I'm so Happy! We had Friday night, all of Saturday AND I got stuck at Marie's Sunday night and we didn't go to work Monday. La De Da! How super! We did lots of neat stuff. Had plenty of time. Even though she has four wheel drive, she didn't even think about going to work. She just called a few key employees and had her company closed for the duration. For everyone's safety, you know. Had the most interesting experience. Unexpected. Thought provoking.I never thought whips were good for anything. Window dressing, props at most. Really sicko people played with that stuff... and yes... I am a perverted slut by choice... but I mean really sicko. I could not imagine how a whip could be sexy. Now I know! I was kneeling on the bed, but spread wide. One chain from my ankle cuffs went to the headboard, and the other went to the foot of the bed. A chain around my waist also locked to my ankle cuffs, forcing me to kneel. My hands were cuffed behind my back and pulled (not too roughly) to the other side of the canopy by a chain. The total effect was face down in a pillow on the bed, ass and crotch high up in the air. Odd position, I thought, what's she going to do? She pulled up a chair behind me and played with me soooo nicely! Got me wet and opened "like a flower"... hotter and hotter. Would not get me off though! Kept taking me to the brink and then stopped... or worse... pinched something! Damn her! This went on too damn long! Whenever she calls me "hotbox," I know she's going to play and play and keep me on the brink. Then she stood behind me and I felt something tickling my tushie. Couldn't really see very well. It was a riding crop! Like a jockey uses on a horse.