5 comments/ 38678 views/ 8 favorites Her True Self Ch. 01 By: auditguy85 This is my first attempt at a story so all comments, suggestions, and death threats are welcome. 'I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy travail; in pain thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.' The Dream Life It had been four months living with him. They had met online when she was seventeen and they moved in together five months later after she turned eighteen. It was everything he promised her. Nothing like her previous life, nothing like what all her former friends were living at the moment. She knew that it wasn't proper or right, it wasn't what people would call normal, but she also knew it wasn't wrong. Nothing that felt so wonderful could possibly be so wrong. The moment she left her suburban house and walked into his residence there was no going back. This is what she had wanted, maybe she had moments where she thought of going back to her past life, to the comforts of the upper middle class, yet the doubts always fade away replaced with the knowing that this is her place in the world and this is what she was born for. There is no going back to the monotony of suburban life, the routine and the mind numbing comfort; her new life would not allow it. ************************ She had rules now, many, many rules to follow; discipline for non-compliance, severe, humiliating, and painful discipline for disobedience. There was work, both the housework and the outside, real world work. It wasn't work for money though; it was another way to humiliate her. She got a job at a McDonalds, a place where she never thought that she would work. It was beneath her, it was a place that a girl who was expected to go to top tier college, Ivy League maybe, was never supposed to end up in. Her college aspirations have long passed. There was no need for college for her, she was smart, very smart, but higher learning was not in her future plans, at least not the higher learning in the academic sense. He made her work in a fast food joint to reinforce her place in the world, the bottom of society, to emphasize her inferiority to those who used to be her equals, those she even considered her inferiors. ************************ Inferior was the last thing she thought of them now, all of them. Her own ongoing transformation had started to alter her both physically and psychologically. Slowly she was being dehumanized. Transformed from a normal girl into a less civilized creature; she was being devolved of the societal norms into the perverse. Not perverse to her, this was the coming out of her true self, but to most of the outside world she was, as they would say, throwing it all away. An animal, which is what she thought of herself as now, she was turned into just her most basic cravings, her most fundamental needs. That is all she now thought of, the satisfaction of her physical, psychological, and sexual needs; that is what he provided her, he had brought out her animalistic self, her basic urges. The times when he allowed her to satisfy those urges, were the moments when she reached bliss. All the other times were just a build up to that moment that now was becoming the center of her life and her being. At that moment she not only satisfied her basic cravings, but she satisfied the only need she really cared about, her need for his love. The more she changed, the more he loved her, the more she surrendered the more he became addicted and captivated by her. She had realized that she was not submitting to him as much as he was becoming captive to her. That growing and developing love for each other was her greatest aphrodisiac and the force driving her forward. ************************ Beautiful, is what some called her, stunning was what the rest thought. It wasn't until she met him that she actually started to see her real beauty the beauty that is in the eye of the beholder. One of the first things he made her do was to change in her hair color. She was always proud of her hair, but he made her bleach it platinum blond and then add neon pink streaks. By making her put her newly colored hair into pig tails or in a tight ponytail he added to what was already a very young and innocent looking face. The other initial alteration was to have her set up appointments for laser hair removal, and now she was hairless from the neck down. It had made her grooming easier and more importantly it had cleared up time for her to devout to her many new duties. The dichotomy created by her innocent face and little girl hair style compared to the other physical changes and rules she had to follow, created a confusion in most that noticed her, but it made complete sense to her. This was her new life, this nightmare to most was her dream come true. To be continued..... (maybe) Her True Self Ch. 02 Rules and Punishment: (Fundamental Rules) Before moving in with him she knew what the rules were going to be, they had discussed them many times. Discuss might be too strong a word, he told her the rules and she just wanted to start following them (but there was that unbearable waiting she had to do till she turned eighteen, the longest five months of her life). The rules were the reason why she wanted to become his, and to fully devote herself to both him and what would become her new laws. These were rules that would provide her with extreme structure and discipline that she never had, but always craved for. They would at once make life both much simpler and much harder. This was what she loved about him most. It was the extreme structure, yet at the same time the tremendous love and devotion that he showed her. Even more than that, he was both fair and strict. Unlike her parents, her friends, and her teachers that would always let her slide for any mistakes she made, he would catch her slightest errors and would punish her. However, she always knew what she was being punished for and she always recognizes that if she is receiving discipline, then it is because she truly deserves it. ************************ The first rule, and really the most important one, was to always tell him the truth, no matter whether it was about her actions, feelings, or her thoughts. She was doing this out of her own free will; she was doing this because she needed it as much as he did. This meant that, as the saying goes, the truth would set her free. Rule two stated that she was not allowed to orgasm without his permission. This was the surrender of her most basic urge; it was her gift to him and a sign of her complete surrender. The rule was the most difficult to comply with because the other rules were designed to do everything to stimulate her and drive her closer to the edge, but she used all her strength to always try to obey. ************************ The first two rules were what he called the foundation rules, which meant they would carry the harshest punishment. All reprimands no matter how small would involve a whipping, canning, or spanking, completely dependent on his mood and what he thought was most appropriate at the time, but some rules would have additional levels of punishment depending on which one she had failed to follow (and the first two rules would carry the harshest punishment). Breaking a fundamental rule meant she would get a tattoo as a reminder of her offence and as a way to prevent future failures. She already had three unauthorized orgasms in the last four months and now had three tattoos to serve as a permanent reminder. Her first tattoo happened in the first week when she was masturbating and trying to edge herself in the morning (as per one of her rules) and ended up going over and having a fantastic orgasm, but as with any pleasure she got in her new life it always came at a big price. The next day they both went to the nearby tattoo and piercing parlor and got a tattoo on the sole of her left foot that was two lines and started from her heel and finished where her sole and toes met. The tattoo in bold black letters said, "Property of" on the top line and his last name on the line below it. It almost resembled a Made in China symbol that you see on the bottom of dolls feet; unlike a doll though this one was a mark of possession as much as a mark of a maker. With all the nerve endings in the foot, the first tattoo of her life might have been one of her most painful ones. She did have a side benefit in that she was able to rest and be off her feet for a few days while it healed. ************************ The next two orgasms she had without permission happened in a one week span at the end of their second month together. One happened when they were having a long fuck session after he came back from work. While she was dead tired from her own work and from all the other chores and assignments she had to do, it was still a wild night, which after all she had been through had overwhelmed her senses, and she without first getting his permission climaxed, releasing all the days pent up frustration and stresses. The second one came a few days later while she was masturbating in the McDonald's bathroom during her lunch time (as per another of her rules). What made it even worse was that her manager at the McDonalds was in the bathroom when she had her unauthorized orgasm and squirted all over the stall door and floor. Having to clean up and lick all her own juices while the manager was standing by the sink and mirror on the other side of the quarter length bathroom partition, pretending to not have noticed anything, made the whole experience even more humiliating and degrading. This only helping to drive her desires and excitement higher. After both orgasms her pleasure was only broken up by her knowledge of what that would mean to her body. She tried to plead with him to forgive her for it, hoping that especially on the second one where she called him up and admitted her mistake right away, that he would show some leniency to her. He would not listen though and despite knowing that some new permanent addition would be put on her body, she was happy that he did not back down to her, like all the rest had in her previous life. ************************ One of the two new punishment tattoos was on the small of her back and said "BITCH". It was done in large bubble letters with a bold black outlines and inside filled with a different bright neon color for each letter. The letters were very large and the lower third actually started on the top of her ass cheeks with the top finishing near the peak of her lower back and the stem of the T actually going down into her ass crack. The word was then encircled with ivy vines. The opposite ends of the ivy vine each ended up with a colorful leaf over the dimples in each of her ass cheeks. This tattoo would help to remind her of how she had stopped being a normal person and was now more of an animal guided by her cravings and desires. The third tattoo was done a week after the second and was the most humiliating of the three. It was right in the middle of her pelvis with the word CUNT written the same way as the BITCH tattoo in the back was. The same large letters and bright colors were used, but instead of the Ivy she now had Pussy Willow branches circling the word, with the ends of each branch going down and touching the outside of each of her labia lips. It was large enough that the word could be made out if she ever wore jeans and a cutoff T-shirt or midriff showing tank top. It would symbolize where her urges and cravings were stemming from and what she had to gain control over to fully be submissive. ************************ Through it all she knew that she deserved to wear these tattoos as punishment for her disobedience. That is why she was put on this great earth, to obey, and this would serve as a worthy reminder of her duties. Since the third tattoo she had not broken either of the first two rules. She knew that a fourth mistake would cost her very dearly. He had already told her that the fourth tattoo would be Ivy starting from the top of her right foot at the toes and wrapping itself all the way up her right leg and up her right side to her armpit. There would be no way of covering up this one like she could with the previous three. This fourth one would remind her of the way her urges would wrap her up and make her break the rules, and the way she constantly had to fight them like a groundskeeper always has to watch out for and trim Ivy. No, she did not want that tattoo; the mental image alone has helped to keep her in line and obeying the rules. That is why she loved him, he knew exactly what she needed and he made sure that she always got it. To be continued..... (probably) Her True Self Ch. 03 Rules and Punishment: Complete Control The third rule and most important one after the two fundamental rules, was that she was to always follow any of his instructions without question or hesitation, even if the instruction would cause her to break a rule (which she would still be punished for). He had told her that if she ended up breaking a rule do to an instruction it probably meant that she was not following that rule in the first place, so an instruction should never be used as an excuse for disobedience. If she for some reason did not follow an instruction or a rule, hesitate even for an instance to follow a command, or in case of some rules did not try hard enough she would earn a demerit. Each demerit was worth a spanking or whipping with the number of whippings or spankings determined by the number of demerits she had earned in the day and the severity of the disobedience. Usually each demerit was worth ten strokes of the hand or whatever implement he chose. In addition, every fifth demerit also earned her a piercing; this was a way for her to always have a visual reminder of her disobedience. At the end of the day she was to always write down all of her demerits and what earned them in her journal. She would then read him the entries and beg to be punished for them. During her begging she would have to call herself every disparaging word and term she knew and how she was not worthy of even wasting his time. When he administered the punishment she was always told to count out the number of strokes out loud and thank him after each one. If she forgot to count or thank him, or if she lost count then they would start over, and another demerit would be added for inattentiveness. The journal was also used to write down all the humiliating and degrading things that happened to her during the day and how she felt about each one. He would use the journal entries to determine which things he liked and which ones he wanted to do less off. Plus, as he told her, she would later be able to look back at what she had to experience in the beginning and be thankful for how easy he took it on her compared to what he had planned for her in the future. ************************ When it came to dress there were very specific instructions for different situations and different times. It all started with the shoes. She was always to wear one of her now many high-heeled and platform shoes, especially her platform stilettos. Every shoe she got had to be approved by him and only shoes that were a half size too small and with heels over 4 inches were allowed. She was to wear her heels no matter what she was doing, with the only exception being work and her gym sessions. Initially he had allowed her to not wear her shoes when they were in bed, but now she had been wearing them to sleep and only really being without them in gym and when she was changing from one pair to another. She was had become so used to the heels that her feet had started to hurt when she was not wearing them. When she went to work, she was to wear one of her permitted high heeled shoes and kept a pair of black sneakers that were required by McDonalds as part of her uniform in her locker. If no one, especially the manager, made her change into the sneakers she was to wear her embarrassing and uncomfortable shoes; only if a manager insisted, was she then to change into the sneakers. Even if the manager persisted that she wears the sneakers, she was just to change for the day, but the following day she was to try to wear her high-heeled shoes again. This resulted in her being told many times to change her footwear to something more appropriate, but then the managers started to tire of telling her all the time to change and started ignore her heels, thus leaving her now mostly wearing her 6 and 7 inch platform sandals (she had bought a couple of pairs in different bright neon colors and a pair that was completely clear from an online store that catered to fetish and stripper-wear). When she did have to wear the sneakers that were part of her work uniform, he had even modified them to cause maximum discomfort. Not only were they a half size too small, but he had removed the insole and applied glue to the inside of the whole shoe and then sprinkled kitty litter on top of the glue until the whole inside was lined with the kitty litter. This made the inside of the sneaker have an extremely rough texture that made walking in the sneakers extremely uncomfortable and if worn for the entire work shift ended up causing extreme discomfort. This made her try even harder to keep her heels on, even though they were small and tight and caused their own brand of extreme discomfort, at least she was used to it. For her required gym workouts she was to wear her heels to the gym class, but she was then allowed to exercise barefoot or in socks, depending on how far her instructor would let her go, but she was not allowed any other change in her footwear other then the heels. This caused her to tell the instructor a couple of times that she had no sneakers at all and only had heels, which is why she needed to exercise barefoot. Her gym classes had turned into their own humiliating spectacle, and not only because of the shoes. The outfit for gym usually consisted of an extremely small and bright leotard; one of her brightly colored leg warmers or knee socks, which were more appropriate for a schoolgirl uniform; and sometimes if she was lucky very tight gym shorts or one of her ultra small skorts. When she started to sweat the entire outfit almost became transparent and all her tattoos and piercings were especially evident and on display, making her the constant butt of laughter and jokes by the other women in her gym classes. The small size and high heel, especially the extreme high heels that were 7 and 8 inches in height, caused her feet to always ache no matter what she was doing. This constant pain in her feet was a way to remind her of the place that she occupied in the world and to always keep her mind focused on insuring that she was bringing pleasure to others and not thinking about her own. In her former life the shoes that she bought were always the most fashionable if not the most comfortable that she could find. All her friends were always jealous of how her parents let her spend many hundreds of dollars on her footwear, at all times she was the trend setter. Now however, whenever someone looked at her one of the initial things that they noticed was the ridiculously uncomfortable footwear she wore, something that they would only expect on a stripper and then only when she was performing. However, her whole life had now become a performance and an exhibition of her body for others to look at and for her to always feel embarrassed and self-conscious. Even with this degrading exhibition of her assets she had not even had a though wanting to stop it, instead the humiliation just served to turn her on even more, creating an adrenaline rush that had become her addiction. It was an addiction that did not go away, but grew and made her desire more and more of it. ************************ To complicate and make the footwear rule even more uncomfortable and painful on her he did not allow her to use, sit or lie down on the floor or any furniture. Unlike normal people who could sit or lie down on a couch, bed, chair, or even a floor; she would always need to ask for permission. She realized that even dogs could jump up on a couch or lie down whenever or wherever they wanted, but her life was now that of the lowest of creatures, only doing what she had been told. Whenever she was not doing something, and this was a rare occasion, she was to squat down with her feet shoulder length apart and her now almost always high-heeled platform wearing feet firmly planted on the ground. Her butt cheeks were to be touching the tops of the shoes, but never touching the ground. He back was to be straight and her head bowed with her eyes focused directly on her toes. This caused her entire weight to always be on her already tired and aching feet. The other rule, which all but guaranteed that here feet never got rest, was that when in the rare occurrence that she was allowed to be without her too small, extremely uncomfortable and high-heeled shoes, she was to always arch her feet and curl her toes, like a gymnast or ballerina. This meant that when she, for whatever reason, was allowed to take off her shoes and her feet were not touching the ground she was to always keep her toes pointed and the arch of her foot extremely curved. This rule even applied to when she was allowed to lay down. Initially her feet crammed up, especially her calves, but over time she had become more used to it and now was able to hold her toes curled up and the foot of her arch extremely curved for much longer periods of time. When she was barefoot and her feet were touching the ground, she was always required to be on her tippy toes, and this included when she was working out. This rule in particular was extremely difficult on her, because of the unnatural foot and toe position, and because of the muscle strength she had to build up to stay on her tippy toes or hold the proper foot position when not touching the floor for any significant length of time. She had until recently earned a lot of demerits for not fully following this rule. ************************ Her clothing was another area of her life that was now fully controlled and totally used to help in her humiliation and degradation. It had become another area which could be used to expose and display her body to onlookers, another place where an extreme deviation from her previous life had taken place. She used to wear the latest fashions and the most stylish clothing and used to be the envy of all who knew her or saw her, but now she had become the laughing stock and the one who everybody pointed to and starred at, not in admiration but in amusement and even aversion. The main rule when it came to clothing was that she was to always be naked, with the exception of her shoes, unless given permission that said otherwise. Work was the only exemption, with her work uniform allowed but of course without a bra or other underwear. She was required to wear a very tight, 1 and 1/8th inch wide chocker/collar, which had a D-ring in the middle and inch long spikes all around. To take it off she needed to get his permission, but rarely did, since he really enjoyed how uncomfortable it made her feel to have to wear it all the time and even sleep in it. The spikes made it still more uncomfortable for that rare time she got to lie down or when she went to sleep; digging into her chin, back of the head or shoulders if she was not careful. In all other situations, she always had to ask for permission to wear clothing and then to ask for approval for the clothing she chose to wear once she got the permission. Although most of the time he would instruct her on what to wear, whenever he didn't she was expected to select something that would be extremely humiliating and if he deemed it not to be degrading enough then it would count as a demerit and would be punished, after which she would get to select again, until approval was received. ************************ When she had just moved in with him the only clothing she was allowed to bring were the items that she had grown out off, yet managed to keep, and the ones which were too small, but were not yet thrown out. All items were inspected upon her arrival for appropriateness and if they did not meet his approval they were immediately bagged to give to the homeless. Almost all the articles of clothing that she now owned were designed for pre-teens, tweens and juniors. He had purposely wanted to make sure that all of her clothing upon a first glance would give off the appearance of an innocent, good little girl, but upon closer look you would realize that it was worn by a girl that was in her late teens and had on other things which were as adult and pornographic as you could get. It was again his way of trying to play up the difference between her innocent, youthful look and the embarrassing, vulgar, and slutty appearance he had now given her. She still could never stop from blushing at the humiliation that she felt whenever she was outside in her stripper sandals or heels, wearing a Hello Kitty T-shirt that barely came to under her breasts and was so tight it looked like it was going to rip at the seams, and one of her extremely small skirts or ultra tight shorts that made a pair of daisy dukes look prudish. Some of his favorites were her boy shorts that were two sizes to small and barely covered her ass cheeks and mesh and jersey shorts that helped to create a perverse contrast between her little girl clothing, her stripper shoes, colored pigtails, and her other physical changes, which only acted to help attract more unwelcomed yet at the same time addictive attention, which she now craved. To that already embarrassing attire, he additionally required her to wear at least three toe rings, a minimum of three anklets, and more than five bangle bracelets, which were usually brightly neon colored, plastic things she bought at Wal-Mart. He would then pile on by making her alter her outfits to make them even more degrading. Alterations would usually mean cutting off the bottom of a T-shirt or a dress to make them cover even less than they already did, cutting slits up the sides of her shorts and skirts, and one of his favorite, which was to completely cut a side open in a skirt, dress or shirt and have her hold it together using safety pins or pieces of string. The goal of the alterations was to expose as much of her body as possible without having her be arrested for public indecency. Usually she was to go without stockings or socks, but on rare occasion when she was allowed those items, she now only had to choose from thigh high socks, fishnet or fencenet stockings. He really liked how whenever she wore the thigh high socks (usually in bright striped colors) she looked so innocent, while whenever she wore here fishnet or fencenet stockings they accentuated her smuttiness. The only real adult clothing that he allowed her to buy were her extremely small and reveling thongs, which she rarely got to wear; bathing suits, which were always a couple sizes too small and very revealing; and a few cocktail dresses that she could wear to his work functions or his family get-togethers (for the rare visit to her parents, family or friends she was still to wear her embarrassing girl clothing and her ridiculous shoes), these dresses were more to allow him to fit in with the crowd then to prevent embarrassment for her. At his work holiday party, he took it easier on her, mostly because he did not want to make too big of a scene, which could cause him trouble the next day. For the event he dressed her in a bright pink strapless cocktail dress with a brightly colored pink latex choker (one of the only times he allowed her to take off her spiked wide collar), and stripped thigh high socks, which looked completely out of place with her dress and her shoes. The shoes were her four inch (the smallest heel she had) bubble gum pink stilettos, but to make her more uncomfortable then she already was in the half size too small shoes, he poured a few tea spoons of uncooked rise into the bottom of the shoe thus causing immense discomfort for her already tightly squeezed toes. He did the rice thing anytime she wore one of her few closed toed shoes, but for reasons she could not explain, as her discomfort level went up her pussy just got wetter and wetter. Another of her rules required her to shop at only the cheapest retail stores, which helped to ensure she got the lowest quality, tackiest, and least fashionable items available. There was an exception for stores that sold fetish, stripper, and alternative clothing. The Wal-Marts and K-Marts that he now allowed her to shop at, were stores that she never thought that she would be caught dead looking at much less actually shopping in, when she got to go to Target it was like they were at a Saks Fifth Avenue. However, despite all the humiliation and degradation, despite all the changes she had gone through and all the discomforts she was living in, she was as satisfied and as happy as she ever was with any of the comforts she used to enjoy. Instead of making her want to flee, it was only helping to turn her on more and more. She did not know what was wrong with her and why she was this perverted, but the more he humiliated and hurt her the more she wanted it. Every new humiliation he thought up for her was showing her how much he cared and how she was the only one he thought about and the only one he would willingly use his time to use like this. ************************ Control extended to almost all of her actions just like it did to her outfits. In the morning she was to give herself a three quart, cold water enema. She would then have to hold it in for a minimum of half an hour before being allowed to expel it. While holding it she was to do her morning stretching. He liked her to always be flexible and limber, which came in handy when she was fucking her up the ass or pussy in his favorite position (which was her holding a complete split and using her arms to push herself up and down on his dick). After finishing her morning stretching and brushing her teeth, she was to prepare him breakfast, after which point, and no sooner than half an hour from taking the enema (which usually it never was ), was she finally allowed to empty her by then cramping belly. She was then to wash herself using only cold water, as he told her: she was not important enough to waste hot water on. After the shower, she was only allowed to dry herself with her own personal towel. In reality, it was just a burlap sack that he had cut open to use as her towel. The cutup burlap bag was not only very rough on her skin, but also very dirty. She was never allowed to wash it, but it was the only thing that she was allowed to use to dry or wipe herself with. In addition, he used it to wipe his cum whenever he did not require her to eat it all, or her cum from when she was allowed to have an orgasm. Thus, after washing in the cold water shower and wiping herself dry she always ended up pink from the rough burlap material and smelling of sex. If he was not awake already (sometimes he would wake up first to untie her from the previous night's bondage), then she was to wake him up as soon as she was done with breakfast preparation and cleaning herself. His wakeup involved her gently and lovingly kissing him all over until he either told her to stop, or he ended up fucking her or letting her suck him off. Usually though he would save the blow job for when he was eating his breakfast and she was kneeling between his legs. ************************ When it came to her own breakfast, and the rest of her meals for that matter, control was as unrelenting here as in any other part of her new life. He liked her skinny, which was one of the reasons that he chose her, so he of course kept her on a very strict diet, although diet would be too strong a word for it. In the morning after eating his breakfast he would leave some leftovers for her and into that she was to chop up and mix in whatever pieces of organic garbage that he selected. This usually included egg shells, peels, stems and other pieces of organic leftover that were used in preparing his food. He had told her that any food was too important to squander on a pig like her and that not only would she be saving valuable resources that should not be wasted on her, but helping the environment. For lunch he usually allowed her to have a leafy salad, without any dressing, and for dinner it was again whatever he left from his diner mixed with the organic waste from the preparation. Both at breakfast and at dinner she also took a multivitamin, to insure she had all the nutrients that she needed to stay healthy. After all these months under the strict diet, she had managed to lose a dozen pounds from her already thin frame, enough even that people at work were even starting to think that she was anorexic. Her True Self Ch. 03 With the small exception of the salad at lunch, all her food usually had a bitter taste due to the peels and other organic waste that was mixed into her food, which helped to reinforce and serve as a reminder of her new status in life. Plus the constant hunger that she now felt helped to combine with her physical exhaustion to feed her continuous sexual yearning. This had now created an association between her hunger and her physical fatigue with her sexual need. Any time she felt tired or hungry she just became more sexually aroused and hungrier for orgasmic relief. When she rarely got the permission for sexual relief it was like no orgasms she ever had. It was like all her hunger and exhaustion disappeared to be relieved by the bliss and the pleasure of the orgasm. Not only was she getting pleasure; she was also getting the satisfaction that is felt after a good meal and a good nap, all in one. ************************ While she got to eat very little food, she was required to drink a lot of water. The rules required eight glasses (bottles) of water every day. In addition to that he would at random times tell her to drink additional water, which he did not allow to be counted to the eight glass requirement. These additional requests were made at his whimsy. If he was at work then he would text her to drink a bottle and she would have to no matter where she was, including her work. This of course means that she constantly has the urge to pee, which is what he aimed for, since even her ability to relieve herself was under strict control. With the exception of the morning, when she is allowed to go to the bathroom to relieve the enema, all her other bathroom needs require permission. One of her rules states that she is only allowed to shit once a day, this being the morning enema, which is not too bad and is easy enough to follow, yet the rule that any additional peeing required permission was the one that is incredibly difficult. In addition, what makes it worse is the fact that she is obliged to pee as soon as she is given permission. That means as soon as he gives her his consent to go she has to relieve herself in whatever spot she was at the moment he gave permission, and that rule applied without exception. If she hesitates even for a moment then he revokes the permission and she is not allowed to go until the next time he permits it. The hesitation is a demerit that requires a punishment itself, but the waiting for the next time is the worst part, since he makes it extremely long and almost ensures that she will not make it, having to pee herself, which is also considered a breaking of the rules. This bathroom requirement has led to many embarrassing and extremely humiliating moments, not to mention more than a few punishments. None was more embarrassing then what happened when they met up with her parents in a restaurant in the city. Her parents were already completely at loss of what to do with her since she left them to move in with him, but the few times they met her parents they would always try to be as loving as possible even though her parents hated what she was transforming into. It was bad enough that she was dressed in one of her juniors Wal-Mart dresses. This one in particular was a Miley Cirus ruffle dress that was so short it barely came down to below the cheeks of her butt, and if she made any movement at all, like walking, the lower parts of her ass would show through. Even worse was that he had decided to make her alter the dress some more, which was not surprising since he had made her alter almost every clothing she had to be even more humiliating then they already were. First, he made her cut slits up the sides of the dress that went up to the bottom of her rib cage, then he made her cut a slit up the back to her mid back, and finally he made her cut out the bottom of the armhole of the dress so that it was only an inch away from where the slit up the side ended. This left her dress with three ruffle flaps at the bottom that showed her legs and her entire ass at any movement, and the giant space in the bottom of the armhole would expose one breast or the other from the side view. To this she also wore stripped glitter skull leg warmers, seven inch clear and Lucite spiked heel platform sandal, which was a half size too small, and an embarrassing amount of bright plastic bangle bracelets, anklets and toe rings. Combined with all her other changes her parents were in shock, but still tried to put on a brave face and attempted to look past all the physical changes and look for the extremely smart and beautiful little girl that they now tried to remember her as. Of course before they left the house to meet her parents he had made her drink two full glasses of cold water in addition to all the water she drank during the day to meet her eight glass requirement. After she drank it, she asked him if she could go to the bathroom, but he told her no, which he had not allowed since lunch, which was the last time she was allowed to pee. By the time the met her parents for dinner, she was fidgeting and squirming trying to not pee herself. When during the dinner her parents stepped out for a smoke he told her that she was allowed to go outside and to relieve herself against the side of the building, but she would take her cell phone and call him as soon as she was squatting against the side of the restaurant, and then only pee when he gave her permission. When she hesitated and told him that her parents were outside smoking and would see her and she begged him not to make her humiliate herself in front of them like that, he then immediately told her that now she would need to hold it in till he gave her permission again later and that she had earned a demerit. For the rest of the dinner he had made her drink another three glasses of water and seemed to on purpose delay the whole dinner longer then it should have been taking. By the time they were getting up to leave she could barely stand upright or hold her legs apart for any length of time without fear of going right there. As they were walking out of the restaurant and her parents had just given her a hug and had started walking towards their car, she lost control and completely emptied her bladder right there. As she was relieving herself, he with a giant grin on his face still pulled her along behind him and made her walk even as she was leaking like a faucet. When he was sure her parents were out of site he made her take off her leg warmers and wipe the piss of her legs, but not her shoes. To make matters worse she knew that she had now earned another demerit for peeing without first getting his permission and since she was only allowed to launder her clothing when he gave consent, which was rarely, she knew that he would make her wear the piss stained leg warmers and dress again later on. ************************ As part of her routine she was also required to take care of all the house cleaning, laundry, and other domestic errands. After she came back from work, from which she usually was dead tired, she was then required to do the daily cleaning of the apartment. The cleaning included dusting all the furniture, washing all the floors (the floors had to be hand washed) and vacuuming the carpets. This all had to be done before he came home from work, which he always did a few hours after she came back from her shift. In addition, a dinner had to be prepared for him so that he could eat as soon as he came in. In spite of her complete exhaustion from work and having to be on her feet in the too small and extremely high-heeled shoes, and on certain days despite coming home from a required workout at the gym, she still always put in her best and most exhausting effort into making sure the cleaning and cooking was up to par. She really had no choice, since he always liked to inspect her cleaning and would give her a demerit for the smallest amount of dust or dirt she might have missed. Even a stray hair or piece of lint could get her in trouble. On weekends she was also required to do the laundry, although the laundry only consisted of his things and the bedding, and only a rare occasion would he allow her to include a couple of her things to be cleaned. Her things were only washed once in a long while, since he liked to have her to wear her clothing multiple times before they were allowed to be laundered; making sure that this was another way to degrade and even dehumanize her. ************************ Out of all the rules that she had, the ones that had to do with sex were the worst of them all. Not only cause they were difficult and embarrassing, but because they carried a harsher punishment. Any rule that she broke that he qualified as a sex rule, was worth five demerits and automatically earned a new piercing as a way to remind her not to break them again. Her daily sexual duties included giving him at least three blow jobs and fucking him twice (this was pussy fucking and did not count if he did her up the ass). This was the bare minimum that she had to make sure happened every day, no exceptions. For the most part this was fairly easy, and only when he was tired did she run into some problems, but even then she knew how to make sure he was ready to go for her. In addition to the daily quota, she also had a weekly amount that she needed to fulfill, this was: five ass fucks, five pussy fucks, and a combination of five BJs, hand jobs, foot jobs, or tittie fucking (however, at least one of each had to be done every week). This was the difficult requirement. That meant she had to make sure that he was willing to do it at least seven times each day. Plus as time went on it became more difficult to make him cum and she would need to spend a lot longer at it, especially later on in the day when she was even more tired, but had to put in more effort. If she missed her target for the week that would only be added on to the following weeks numbers and would just accumulate until she met her targets and any carryover that had previously built up. As he told her, this strict quota ensured that her main thoughts throughout the day were always on making sure to find out how she could please him. From the moment she woke up to when she went to sleep, all she thought of, was the need to fuck him and make sure she makes her daily and weekly quota. Since the best way to make sure he was excited and ready to go was to degrade and humiliate herself as much as possible, it had an added dimension of making sure that she never got too comfortable or too at ease with any situation. When it came to fucking others, unless he had given permission she was not allowed to fuck anyone, and being as possessive as he was he had not let anyone else fuck her yet. This one fact gave her a lot of pride; the knowing that he was unwilling to share her and that he got jealous just thinking of her with another man, let her know just how much he truly loved her. Other of her sex rules had to do with edging. He was into edge play and really liked to make sure that she was always horny. One rule said that she was always to be wet, and he would check her constantly to make sure that she was near dripping. Another rule required her to edge in the morning when she woke up, after she made breakfast, once at work before lunch, once during lunch, once after lunch but before she leaves, once when she comes home, and once before she goes to sleep. She always had to come as close as possible to coming but was not allowed to orgasm unless she got permission first, which she almost never did. If she had not been allowed to orgasm for a while, the exercise of bringing herself to the edge almost always became so difficult it was painful to pull away just a moment before she was so close to achieving nirvana. The fear with this rule was of having an orgasm without permission and getting both the five demerits for going over the edge and the tattoo for disobeying one of the fundamental rules. There were a couple of times when she did not edge as close as she could, especially at work, and now she had a few piercings to remind her of those moments of disobedience. Another rule had to do with what she was to do in the rare case that she was idle and had nothing else to do. When doing nothing she was required to be in her crouch on her high-heels, but additionally she was also required to play with herself. As the saying goes, "idle hands are the Devil's playground", and he made sure that her hands were never idle. With both hands free, one hand was required to be toying with her pussy while the other hand was fucking her ass, with the condition being that she was to attempt to get as many fingers into herself as possible. This also extended beyond just when she was doing nothing. If she was doing something that only required one hand and the other was free she was to play with herself using the free hand, and it was to always alternate to playing with her pussy and playing with her ass. This also meant that if at work she was doing something that did not involve both hands she was to play with herself right there. This had led to many embarrassing situations and has led her to always try to keep busy doing something. Of course if she got drive through duty, that always ended up being extra humiliating since if she wasn't giving people their food, she had to play with herself, and this has become a favorite occurrence of her male co-workers (and some female), who always try to be in a position to watch her when she is working the window. After she was done she was also to suck her fingers clean, making it even more perverse and humiliating if she had to do it in public. Another of his rules has to do with her squirting when she is allowed to orgasm. She had been a squirter before she met him, but now he required that when she was having an orgasm to focus all her attention and all her energy at squirting as far as she can and producing as much discharge as possible. Every orgasm is to have a bigger squirt then the last one, and it was up to him to decide if he was there and for her to tell if he is not, but if he does not witness it, then she is expected to be ultra critical of herself. When it comes to the discharge from her squirts and from when he comes, she is required to make sure to swallow and eat it all, unless told otherwise. She is never allowed to waste any of his cum and if he fucks her up the ass or pussy she is then required to scoop it out and eat it, with the same rule applying for hand jobs, tittie fucking, and foot jobs; she is always required to scoop up any of his cum no matter where it landed and then swallow it. When she squirts she is required to lick it all up and not waste a drop. Even if she squirts in public she is not allowed to use any paper to clean it but must use her hands and her tongue to lick it all up. ************************ Following all the rules was tough, but punishment was far worse. Not only would each demerit produce a whipping, a spanking or as in most situations both, but there were also the piercings. Despite the tattoos she got, she considered the piercings to be far worse. While the tattoos could be hidden, the piercings were out there for all to see. They served both as a way to remind her of all her disobedience and as a way for him to transform her from that smart beautiful girl from her past life, to an extreme deviant in her present one. The piercing also helped to emphasize the contrast between her otherwise young, innocent looking face, her extremely small and childish clothing, her extreme heels, and her dyed hair. Through all her demerits, especially the ones she got for breaking the sex rules, which automatically required her to get a piercing for each one broken, she had managed to acquire forty six piercings in the four months. Her right ear had eight and her left one had eleven piercings each. The piercings in the ear included at least four hoop earrings she wore in each ear, with the largest one being four and a half inches in diameter, the next one being three and a half inch earrings, followed by a two and a half inch earring and a two inch hoop earring; daith piercing in each ear, one being a ring and another a dumbbell; a snug piercing in each ear; a rook piercing in her left one; a tagus piercing in the right ear and an anti-tagus in the left one; an industrial in her left ear; and a mix of studs and rings for the rest of them. Her right eyebrow had been pierced three times with two barbells and a ring, and near her left eye was an anti-eyebrow piercing. Her nose was pierced with a double nostril piercing with small flathead studs in her left nostril and her right nostril had a ring and a small flathead piercing. In addition to her nostrils, her septum was pierced with a ring. He had made her get a Monroe on the left side of her mouth, and a vertical lip piercing in the center of the lower lip with two ring piercings at opposite corners of the bottom lip. On the tip of her tongue she had a ring piercing and further down near the center of her tongue she had a triangle piercing with the center barbell being extra large, thus now making her speak with a lisp. Her tongue piercings were especially humiliating because of the weight the added to her tongue and made it difficult to move, with the addition of the lisp, it made sure that no one took her seriously when she talked or listen to what she had to say. Plus he really liked the blow jobs she gave now that she had the piercings, especially when she used it to lick under his shaft and his balls. Her breasts had two piercings each. She had a vertical barbell through the tip of each of her nipples and a horizontal two inch diameter ring at the back of each nipple. The barbells had large balls which ensured that they were visible through anything she wore, especially with the tight clothing she always had on and the large rings. Her navel had two piercings, with one on top of the navel, which was a barbell and below the navel a ring so that a belly chain can be attached. She also had two hip piercings with one on each side. Her final piercings for now were a ring piercing through her clit-hood and a barbell through her clit, which was large enough that it did not allow her clit to retract back behind the hood. Because of the clit piercing she was glad that she was not allowed to wear underwear, otherwise she might have gone crazy from the stimulation. As is right now she felt every breeze on her clit, and when she wore her short shorts, her work uniform, or her workout leotard, the material touching her stretched and exposed clit caused her to almost go insane from desire and stimulation. She was now worried that as he slowly moved down her body with each punishment piercing he had now reached her most sensitive and delicate area and he had warned her that the next ones would start on her outer labia lips and then continue in on her inner labia lips. Plus he had been contemplating adding more piercings to her face, her ears, and the rest of her body. Still despite all the embarrassment, humiliation, and degradation that she has had to endure under the rules, and the punishment she had to tolerate as result of not following them, she was happier then she had ever been in her life. She could only dream about what the future held for her and all the new rules and ever more humiliating and demeaning things he would have her do. To be concluded in one more part..... (Suggestions for the epilogue will most definitely be considered for incorporation with what is already planned) Her True Self Ch. 04 Epilogue It had now been a year since she had moved in with him. It was now a year since her entire life had changed; she was a completely different person from that spoiled, comfortable, suburban girl she used to be. She had changed physically, mentally and even psychologically in ways which she only dreamed of. The last year had turned into a ride through her sexual (some would say perverted) fantasies. In the time that had passed from the first four months that she had lived with him, she had again shown to be too weak to prevent an orgasm without first getting permission and after a few sessions at the tattoo parlor now had a visible reminder of her disobedience. The tattoo was made up of two Ivy vines, which start wrapped around the second and fourth toes of her right foot and go around her whole foot all the way up her ankle and leg, up to her right hip and right side, ending with one strand of the vine curling to the underside of her right breast and the other one at the bottom of her right underarm. Even without this tattoo there was a very visible dichotomy. By having this large vine on her right side, almost completely covering her right leg, hip and side, there was a very visible difference between her tattooed side and her plain left side. Anyone looking at her could see how she looked before and what she looks like with a tattoo (he often referred to it as her two-face effect). On the one hand there was her "baby face", as he liked to call it, that gave off the radiance of innocence and an image of the girl next door, and on the other there was a girl with this giant visible tattoo and all these piercings, which had only grown in count in the past few months. ************************ The other major change came from the fact that she was now five months pregnant. It was not a shock when she found out, since he had taken her off the pill about half a year after she moved in with him. What was a surprise is that she was pregnant with twins. Even before she moved in with him she knew that he intended to breed her, it was just that she thought it would be a little later, like a couple of years in, but the final decision like all choices rested with him. As soon as he took her off the pill she knew it would only be a matter of time before she got pregnant, since he always fucked her without a condom and not to mention the fact that as part of the rules she was constantly having sex with him. The pregnancy actually did improve a couple aspects of her life, for which she was on the one hand grateful for and on another kind of disappointed about. She was disappointed with the fact that he did not consider her strong enough to go through the pregnancy with all of her rules unchanged, but then again she understood that he was doing it for the babies more than for herself. One of the areas where he had taken it easier on her now was in her diet. He had now stopped feeding her leftovers and the organic byproducts of meals that she prepared and instead let her have full meals, still not as much as others ate, but considerably more then she had eaten before. Although, he did tell her that once she gave birth that he would double up on her food restrictions to ensure she was back to the bare minimum and back to being extremely skinny. Another of the rules that he had backed off of, was the extreme exercise routine that she was on. She now replaced some of her strenuous exercises with less strenuous ones and had replaced her extremely demanding aerobic workout with stripper dance lessons. He thought it would be really humiliating for her to have to do the strip dance class while being pregnant and have all the other women in the class see her do all the exhibitionist and humiliating moves she was learning with a baby bump and wearing her humiliating workout clothing, which he did not let her change after she became pregnant. He had also now allowed her to take much smaller enemas in the morning to avoid a premature labor. That in addition to being easier on her when it came to giving her permission to pee had for the first time in months given her some respite from the ever more difficult and restrictive rules that were being imposed on her. ************************ Being pregnant though did not change most of her other rules and instead made her everyday life even more difficult. Now her body especially her feet, which were constantly in extreme heels and tight shoes, were not only in pain but felt like they were being tortured. She was still required to arch her feet and squat with her feet being the only things allowed to touch the ground, and she was still required to be on her tippy toes when barefoot. This increase in her pain and strain had more than made up for the few areas where her rules were now eased for the benefit of the babies. In addition, her humiliation and degradation had also only increased. She was not allowed to get any maternity clothing or apparel. This meant that she was only allowed to wear the already previously tiny clothing she already owned, and even when she was allowed to buy new clothing they still had to conform to his previous rules, meaning she was only allowed to shop at the pre-teen and tween clothing sections of stores. The only exception for this was her work, where she was allowed to wear a black pair of sweatpants and an XL polo T-Shirt, in order to comply with work regulations. Whenever she went out now her daisy dukes, cutoff shorts, or miniskirts were always unbuttoned and unzipped at the top to just allow them to be barely pulled up. It was so obscenely difficult to wear them that now if she moved too much the crack of her pussy would show through the unzipped fly of the extremely small daisy dukes he loved her to wear. Her t-shirts, tops, and blouses now even covered less of her body then before, especially with her breasts starting to grow in preparation for lactation, which he told her she would do well past the point when the twins will stop breastfeeding. ************************ Supplementary to her humiliation of having to wear small clothing suited for pre-teen girls, put her brightly colored hair in pigtails, and her natural young looking face, while fully showing her pregnant belly, her tattoos and piercings he also now added a new rule, which required her to constantly be sucking or chewing on something. He wanted her to give off the aura that she had an oral fixation, part of this rule involved her now always wearing a pacifier around her neck. Unless she was using her mouth for something else or was otherwise told to suck something else she was to constantly keep the pacifier in her mouth no matter where she was. He would sometimes make her to chew gum or suck and lick a lollipop, or even more humiliating he would make her suck her thumb, especially when they were in public. Though even when she was sucking or licking something else, she was still required to always have the pacifier hanging from her neck and only take it off when he allowed it, which was very rarely. The punishment for not having the pacifier or sucking on something was the same as one of her other sex related rules, which automatically required a new piercing in addition to a spanking or a whipping with the exact number of strokes determined by him. She had already a couple of times been caught not having something in her mouth and suffered accordingly, but what this rule really did, other than humiliate her, was prevent her from being able to really talk without permission. This made it one of the most dehumanizing rules she had, since it prevented her from doing one of the few things that separate humans from other animals, verbally communicate. ************************ The other major side effect of being pregnant was that she was now hornier then she had ever been in her life. On the positive side this made meeting her quotas much easier, but the major downside was that she needed to come more than ever before as well, which made preventing herself from having orgasms when she was not allowed a living nightmare, especially with all the rules that made her take herself to the edge. Though in an ironic twist they had just a few days ago found out that the twins would be girls. He had been so hopeful that at least one of them would be a boy, but looked a little disappointed when the doctor announced that it was a girl, she even had a little giggle about it, which did not make him feel better and would probably mean he would be a little harsher on her for the next couple of days. ************************ While the rules were physically hard and had the singular goal of helping to degrade and humiliate, they made her life more simple and straightforward than it ever was before. All she had to do was follow all the rules and instructions and the time just flew by. There was no self doubt, no uncertainty, no nagging feeling of all the possibilities that she could be missing out on. For the first time in her life since maybe she was just a small girl, there was only certainty and the knowledge that if she followed a certain set of rules and instructions everything would be as it should. ************************ The end (for this story at least).