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Finally Mine...

By: Curioustolearn



It was finally time for them to meet. Both living far away from each other they had never met in person until now. They had met online and she had submitted to him in a variety of ways however they both wanted more. Luckily something had come up and he had to travel half the way down the country and stay overnight for work. She had escaped to come up and meet him, both booking into the same hotel.

She was petite, dark haired with sensual eyes that drew him in. Curvy and hot in every way that he loved and submissive to him in ways he had never experienced before. His little toy and slut, desperate to please her Master in whatever way he demanded, beautiful and his... Tonight she would finally be truly his.

Nick checked into the hotel, sorted out the group he was with and went to his room. Nick sat on the bed and checked his phone. One message... It simply said 'Here Master, Room 23!'

He texted her back telling her to be ready in 10 minutes and to leave her door unlocked.

He picked up the case he was carrying and checked the contents, grinned once more and left his room walking down the corridor to her room. Pausing outside of it for one last minute he opened the door and quickly walked inside. She was there, he felt his breathing quicken as he looked at her kneeling, naked on the carpet at the foot of the bed.

He walked over to her as she knelt unmoving, not even raising her eyes to look at him. He traced his fingers through her soft hair slowly and felt her shiver under his touch.

"Hello Slut..."

There was that shiver again.

"You may speak slut..."

"Hello Master..." She almost whispered breathlessly.

Nick slowly stripped naked and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You can taste it now slave..."

For the first time ever she raised her hands and eyes to look at his throbbing cock in person. She reached out hesitantly and stroked the warm flesh for the first time. She had seen it, fantasized about, cum thinking about it and here it was. Taking it in her hand she stroked her fingers down the length and leaned forwards to run her tongue across the tip of his shaft.

Nick groaned softly and reached down, gripping her hair tightly in his hand smiling as he pulled her head down onto his cock. He felt her gag and shoved deeper. He had wanted to feel her choke and gag on his cock since they had first met! Relaxing slightly and letting her up he released her.

"Make me cum slut and swallow it all..." Nick commanded. He had waited so long for this and now it was finally happening. He watched as she went to work. Her head bobbing up and down the length of his cock as for the first time she was able to taste her Master, to enjoy the full length, flavour and heat of her Master cock. She was desperate for his cum, so many months of craving it but never able to taste it. Nick leaned back and enjoyed the heat of her mouth around his hard cock. He had waited for this day for what felt like an eternity.

Looking down he could see her amazing breasts swaying, the curve of her warm ass and stroked his hand down her shoulders. She worked his cock over and over and he could see the desperate need of her in her movements...

"Look at me slut..." He smiled at her and watched as she looked up at him. "Mmmmm my gorgeous dirty slut... You are allowed to speak and enjoy yourself as you serve me... I want you to start teasing your clit however you are not to cum without my permission."

Nick stood and gripping her head tightly as she looked up at him. Nick began fucking her mouth, slamming his cock in between her lips making her gag and tears form in her eyes. She looked up at him as he fucked her mouth and saw the lust, the tears and her submission. He could see her arms moving as she played with herself before finally he exploded for the first time, filling her mouth for the first time with what seemed to be a gallon of his seed. He watched her eyes open wider as she struggled to swallow it all. Watching her gulp and swallow as blast after blast filled his slave's mouth before he fell back onto the bed spent for the minute. Watching her keep playing with herself and licking her lips, cleaning the cum off.

"Clean your Master's cock slave." Nick sat up on the edge of the bed again letting her kneel between his legs and licking his shaft clean.

He sat watching her and smiled as she worked hard to please her Master.

Finally stopping her when his cock was back to full hardness again Nick pulled her to her feet and guided her to the bed. She lay down submitting to him as he cuffed first one wrist then the other to the posts of the bed. Kissing the soft skin of her wrists as he closed the cuffs around them gently.

Once done he slowly lowered a blindfold, wrapping it round her eyes, cutting off her sight completely. Next he began to trace his fingers gently over her soft skin, teasing, stroking, exciting listening to her breathing speed up but no other sounds.

He admired his slaves smooth skin and slowly picked up to switch he had brought down and leaned close.

"You failed to obey me and send me what I demanded whilst you were away slave. This is your consequences."

Nick brought the switch down across the tops of her thighs eliciting a gasp from his bound, helpless slave. Nine more times he sliced it down leaving the thin red lines stretching across her pale skin. By the end she was moaning gently and as he ran a finger over her shaven cunt he could feel how wet she was.

Nick slowly spread her legs and lower his mouth ran his tongue across her smooth lips, tasting her for the very first time. She whimpered again now, the pain and arousal mixed and torturing her as he slowly parted her lips with his tongue and flicked it over her clit. He had wanted to taste her for so long and she was truly delicious, his slut, his slave, his for the taking and enjoying.

Raising his head slightly he stared at her shaking breasts... "You are not allowed to cum without my permission slut and as always it depends on how well you beg your Master when you are close."

Nick returned to slowly taking his time and pleasure tasting and eating her gorgeous pussy. He had wondered for so long about this moment and planned to enjoy every minute. His tongue traced slow circles around her throbbing clit before running the length of her slit. He kept up the slow but steady attention feeling her trembling build until he knew she wouldn't be able to take much more.

"Please Master, your slut needs to cum..." Whimpered Natalie softly as she tried to resist thrusting her hips up to his mouth to reach that peak.

"You can do better than that my slave!" Nick demanded gripping her thighs tightly where the red welts were rapidly forming into bruises.

"Please, Please Master, your fuck toy needs to cum, her cunt is on fire and she needs to cum, Please Sir I beg of you let your slut cum..." She was gasping now, her face straining as she desperately tried not to cum before she was allowed.

Nick pulled back and spread her legs wide denying her any kind of release.

"Not just yet slut..." He grinned knowing she was being driven wild and slowly began to trace his fingers up and down her legs again. The tips of his fingers tracing the lines on her legs before be moved up her body and straddled her stomach, sliding up until he was able to rest his cock between her tits and wrap those gorgeous breasts around his cock.

For a few moments he paused enjoying the view. Aware of her harsh breathing, trembling body under him and the sight of her gorgeous tits wrapped around his cock as he gently slid back and forth between her tits. Fucking them slowly, watching the head of his cock slipping out the top at the peak of every stroke. He slowly worked himself up more and more then stepped off again.

He slowly undid the cuffs whilst warming her that she must put her hands behind her head and not move unless given permission. He pulled out the little toy he had bought her. A small bullet vibe, the first of the little treats he had for her and pressed it to her still hot clit.

She almost shrieked as her body which had just begun to calm down burst back to full arousal again. She begged and screamed for her Master to let her cum please, using every dirty, nasty word that she knew turned him on.

"Now..." Was all Nick said and her body spasmed off the bed with her long held off orgasm. She exploded, squirting her juices up against his fingers as she trembled over and over.

Nick stepped back to watch her, loving seeing it in person as a direct result of his actions over his slut than his commanded actions.

As her orgasm faded he watched her hands slowly slide over her face brushing her hair back.

He grabbed her right arm and roughly flipped her.

"DID I NOT SAY TO KEEP YOUR ARMS WHERE I PUT THEM!" He growled in her ear then slammed his hand down flat against her ass.

"Sorry Master." She cried as he began spanking her gorgeous ass over and over. First one cheek then the other, his fingers leaving red marks on her ass. Soon there were tears on her cheeks again as his aching hand slapped her ass as hard as he could.

He suddenly stopped and grabbed her legs pulling her to the end of the bed, he pulled her upright ignoring the gasp of pain and pusher her face first up against the set of drawers bending her at the waist as his finger twisted in her hair.

By now she could feel his hardness against her ass as he bent her face to the wall, hair pulled tight as he kicked her legs wider. Kept in this uncomfortable position he entered her hard and with all the urgency of months of waiting. His hard cock spearing into her tight cunt, spreading her wide as his thickness stretched her making her gasp again. His body pressed against hers as his fingers pulled her head back.

He kissed her neck softly then bit down marking her as he drove in and out of her tight slit. His throbbing cock pounding in and out as he kissed and bit her shoulders in equal measure, teeth not quite breaking the surface but as close as possible.

Speeding up he suddenly let go of her hair, his hand snaking round her throat gripping it tight, choking off her air as he pulled her back towards him. As he thrust one last time inside her, gasping as he exploded filling her tight pussy with his cum he growled, "You are mine, my precious, my slut, my toy, MINE!"

Releasing her to slump to the floor looking down at her bruised, fucked form he saw his cum leaking out across her legs and left her there lying gasping to walk into the bathroom. He came out a few minutes later and she could hear the water running in the shower and he helped her to her feet. Leading her gently into the bathroom and into the shower ready to refresh her and for her to service and clean her Master.

Finally Mine 01



Hey everyone, it's me again. I hope you enjoy my newest series. It's a standalone, but I would strongly suggest reading His Kitten Again first, if you haven't already, as it will all make a LOT more sense if you do. Emma and Alex are back, and they'll be part of the story from time to time, but the main focus here will be John and his life. 

With that little blip, please read on, and please please please leave me a comment on the bottom. I adore each and every one of them, and I read through all of them! ;) They all make my day brighter, even the ones with criticism. 

Enjoy Ch 01 of Finally Mine. 

~shysubmissivegirl~

Chapter One

~ Breena~

It was like those scenes in the movies. We've all seen it. Where there's sheer chaos going around, but the main character is sitting there, staring off into the distance? That's what I felt like. 

The bars on my cage obstructed my view slightly, but they did nothing for my hearing. Every noise was loud and clear. The bangs, the screams, the sounds of heavy footsteps charging around in a prolonged struggle. 

I didn't understand why it was so noisy. Yes, Master occasionally got into fights with guests. But nothing ever seemed to get this out of hand. Maybe they were all incredibly drunk. Master got reckless when he was drunk. He was always more violent. And, as he never backed down from anything, he would be sure to engage in a fight. 

Having given myself an explanation, I decided to not stress about it that much. There was a reason it was happening, and even though I might be punished, I could rest assured knowing that I hadn't done anything to deserve a punishment. That knowledge is what kept me going most days. 

I knew I should be scared. I think I felt scared, especially of my Master. But it was a deeper kind of fear, not the shockingly brilliant kind I should have been feeling. Perhaps, after everything he'd done to me, I just couldn't feel that kind of scared anymore. I knew that I would be hurt, and I knew there was nothing I could ever do about it. There wasn't much of a point of being scared when I would never be able to escape it. 

It was a shame that he'd taken even my emotions from me. Everything that I was made up of, he'd destroyed and rebuilt to his liking. 

Just because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

I sighed, and leaned my head against one of the bars on my cage. I'd been stupid and naïve, and he'd exploited it. A part of me knew that I deserved what I got. I'd been lonely, which had made me reckless. Really, I should be grateful to him for forcing me to be more cautious. I knew I'd never make this mistake again. 

Hopefully one day I'd have the chance to come back from it, even in a small way. Once this whole situation was over, maybe they'd let me go. I could get a cat, a job in a small coffee shop, and pretend like this had never happened. 

The sounds gradually began to quiet. The footsteps became softer and more cautious instead of aggressive and challenging. The voices were lower and less threatening. 

Suddenly, I heard the sound of heavy footsteps making their way down the stairs. I flinched, huddling into the back corner of my cage. The only reason my Master came down here anymore was to hurt me. No matter what I did, he just whipped me or caned me until I was unconscious. It always got worse when he was drunk, and based on the noises I'd just heard, he was far from sober. I didn't want to face his wrath, and cowering usually calmed down his rage slightly. It empowered him, especially when he was too far gone to realize that it meant I was disobeying him. 

Having spent so much time as his, I knew these things. 

The door at the base of the stairs slowly pushed open. I closed my eyes tightly, my hear racing in anticipation. "Please Sir..." I whispered to myself. Somehow, saying the words reassured me slightly. As though begging might make him ease up on me slightly. Sometimes it did. At the very least, I knew I was doing my best to try and calm him. 

"Ryan, you need to get down here now!" I heard a panicked voice call up the stairs. It wasn't the voice of my master, and it confused me a great deal. Who else would be down here?

Cautiously, I peeked up from where I'd hidden my face in the corner of the cage. The form of a thin, tall man stood in the shadows. The light was too dim for me to make out anything specific about him. He was mostly turned towards the top of the stairs, so his face was even more hidden from me. 

My heart fluttered slightly with nerves when he turned my way, and I tried to scramble back even further. I didn't know who he was, or what he was going to do to me. The way he'd been calling to his friend was unnerving. If Master had just gotten into a fight, then why would this man be down here now? Was it possible that Master had lost? 

The thought made my blood run cold. If Master lost, then surely these men would have to be even more violent and aggressive than he was. My mind raced, trying to escape the horrible reality that I was entirely at their mercy. Yes, Master was a terribly cruel man, but I'd been with him long enough to be able to predict his actions. These men were unknown, and that made them so much more dangerous. 

A second set of footsteps was making their way down the stairs. I forced my eyes shut again, whimpering softly to myself. I didn't know who these men were, or what they wanted to do with me. The thought was perhaps the most terrifying thing I could imagine. 

I wondered what these men in particular would want. Maybe they had a certain fetish, or perhaps they just enjoyed watching me cry. Each man usually had a kink, whether they admitted it or not. Most men that borrowed me from Master enjoyed experimenting to find out what they liked and didn't like. That usually involved doing a variety of terrible, humiliating things to me. 

The worst part was that I knew Master had the cage room constantly on surveillance. There were seven different cameras, so he could watch everything that happened again and again... He enjoyed things like that. He told me about a few of his previous girls that he'd recorded, and how they'd remained oblivious the whole time. I didn't like the idea, but it didn't matter to him. He loved being able to re-watch my actions in here when he tormented me. 

I shuddered at the thought of him watching me. I hated the idea. But I knew he'd love watching these two men torture me in their own sick and twisted ways. Even though he'd lost a fight to them, he still loved anything that involved tormenting me. I would need to endure everything they did to me as well as I could, otherwise he would punish me for my shortcomings. Over and over again. 

I shook out of my thoughts, and tried to focus. I'd need to pay attention if I wanted to get through this intact. The second man had reached the base of the stairs, and he turned towards me. I let out a little whimper as I heard him murmur, "Oh dear god..." 

The footsteps raced towards me, then slowed. "James, go get something to cut this lock. We need to get her out of here!" I heard the second man whisper urgently. 

That piqued my interest. 

I tried to sit up a bit more, instead of cowering the corner. These two men were obviously different from what I'd been expecting. I still wasn't sure if I'd heard right. 

The second man—Ryan, I think that was his name—approached me. "Sweetheart, it's okay. I promise. We're not going to hurt you. James and I—we're with the local police department." 

In the dim light, I couldn't see what he was wearing to verify that or not. Chances were I wouldn't be able to tell either way. He could be wearing a costume, or a borrowed uniform. And just because they were on the police force didn't mean they were good people. I'd served more than a couple cops who enjoyed hearing me scream. 

The memory made me shiver. "Please, I promise, we're going to get you out," Ryan continued. He sounded genuine, and I wanted to believe him. It would be so nice to think that I would be getting out of here and going back to some semblance of a normal life. I doubted that was really the case, but it was nice to imagine. 

James pounded his way down the stairs a second time. He hurried into the room, a large object clutched in his hands. I didn't know what it was, and instinctively, I backed into the corner of the cage. It was probably some torture device that he was going to use on me. 

"Damnit," I heard one of them mutter. There was lots of clanking, metal against metal, and then a large pop. I didn't want to look, but my curiosity got the better of me. Turning my head carefully, I saw my cage door swing open. 

Ryan hunched over, as though he was going to come in. That never happened. Every Master demanded that I came out to them. This pair confused me more than anyone else ever had. I couldn't tell if they were genuine, or if they were simply trying to gain my trust. 

Ryan finally squatted down enough to be able to enter the cage. He crawled over to me, and I forced myself even deeper into the corner. Somewhere in my mind I knew that it wouldn't do anything, but that part of my brain wasn't exactly functioning at this point. 

A hand reached out and gently wrapped around my arm. "Please, just let me get you out of here. This can't be sanitary. We need to get you to the hospital, and get you checked out."

My mind was racing, and all I could do was blink up at this strange man. Was this real? Was I dreaming? I wanted to pinch myself, but I don't think I could have managed even that small feat right then. Everything was so overwhelming. 

"Please... god I don't even know your name. Please let me help you." He was pleading with me, and there was genuine concern in his voice. A part of me finally clicked, and I turned to him with wide eyes. I think he realized that I was ready, as he let out a long sigh of relief. 

"Thank god."

There was a long pause. 

"Are you hurt?"

What a stupid question to ask. Of course I was hurt. I didn't even know if I was physically—I'd have to check. Things kind of got numb after a few hours, so I could never tell if I was still hurt until the next punishment. But emotionally—emotionally I was completely drained. After experiencing the kind of things that I had for the past several months, it would be hard not to be. 

I think I nodded. 

I couldn't be sure though. It was at this point that things started to get fuzzy. I remember Ryan gently picking me up and awkwardly scooting out of the cage. I remember hearing James calling someone on his phone. And I remember Ryan's big brown eyes looking down at me, worried. 

That's the last thing that I remember. Maybe I passed out. Maybe I just tuned everything out. Either way, that's the very last memory I have, until I woke up in a sterile white room. 

Something was beeping softly, but just loud enough to be irritating. The lights were dimmed, but bright enough that I still had to blink several times in order for my eyes to get adjusted. 

Once they were adjusted, I looked around the room more. There was a small table off to one side, adorned with flowers, cards, stuffed animals, balloons, and the like. I wondered who they were from. Surely things hadn't been repaired with everyone yet. I couldn't imagine my stern, hateful father sitting at his big writing desk, scribbling in a bright card that screamed for me to "get well soon" in a gaudy font. 

A soft knock on the door brought be back to reality. A gentle-looing older woman entered, wearing colorful scrubs. She had short brown hair, and she reached up to tuck a lock behind her ear. "Hi sweetie. We're all so glad that you're awake now. You've been asleep for an awful long time." She paused her speech and washed her hands carefully, then slipped on some latex gloves. "Now, I know you just woke up, but I need to check you out a bit. Alright?"

I froze. "Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry. That was probably insensitive of me. I just need to look at the cuts on your bottom. Would you like to be sedated some more, so you don't have to be awake while we do it?" Her voice dripped sweetness, and I instantly felt sorry. She was just doing her job. It would be a lot easier if I just let her do it. 

"Do I need to flip onto my stomach?" My throat felt unnaturally rough, and I coughed a few times. I knew it was like this because I hadn't used it for so long. When I was at Masters I wasn't permitted to speak unless they specifically requested for me to do so. I didn't think I'd spoken in more than three months. 

The nurse let me calm down a bit before speaking. "It would be easier if you could, yes. Just be careful not to pull any cords."

I carefully maneuvered onto my stomach, a hollow feeling settling deep inside of me. I felt disgusted with myself. The nurse was gentle but thorough in her inspection. She applied some sort of cold gel all over the cheeks, and then winced. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but I'm about to get a bit more personal. There's a few cut that are a bit more on the inside that I need to reach. I promise to be quick."

Just a few tears trickled down my cheek as she quickly reached inside and rubbed some of the gel all around. Finally, she announced, "Okay, hon, all finished. Sorry about that. Let's flip you back over. The gel sort of numbs the area as well as working to heal the cuts, so you shouldn't feel too much pain." 

"If you need anything, just press this button, right here." She pointed to a red button on a remote that was attached to my bed. "You can watch TV if you want to, or you can just relax. We're going to try and keep things as un-chaotic as possible for you for as long as we can. But don't expect peace for too long. The cops want to come and talk to you, news reporters want to talk to you, and well... everyone wants to know what happened to you."

The nurse blushed and so did I. I didn't realize that I was this "big deal." I honestly didn't want to be a big deal. I didn't want people wondering what my story was. I just wanted to go back and try to live a normal life. I sighed. 

That would never happen now. I should have realized that sooner. Even if no one knew what had happened, I knew. And now that everyone else did, I'd constantly be questioned about everything. I would never be able to let any of it go. This would haunt me for the rest of my life, no matter what I did. The thought was a terrible one. 

I turned onto my side, signaling to the nurse that I didn't want to talk. She quietly left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I wanted nothing more than to escape into sleep, and it seemed as though I might be able to do just that. 

My mind whirred for a few last minutes before sleep overcame me, contemplating everything that was happening. So much had changed, and I knew that my life would never be the same. From this moment onward, I was living a new life. 

I simply didn't know if I would hate it or not. 

~John~

I sat across the desk, trying not to bite the inside of my lip. It was a bad habit of mine that I did whenever I was nervous. And I had every right to be nervous right now. A job interview for a prestigious counseling firm was the current cause of my nerves. 

The man across from the desk was very polished. He wore a grey suit that was perfectly tailored to him. I'd seen the shine on his shoes when I first sat down. His dark brown hair was trimmed to just the right length. The stand on his desk proclaimed his name as Tyler Smith, PhD. 

I felt entirely sloppy compared to him. My suit seemed itchy, and not nearly fancy enough. My shoes didn't shine as much as his did. And I was sure his stern eyes were studying my five dollar haircut with disdain. 

"Well, Mr. Leeman, would you please excuse me for a few minutes? I need to take care of some business really quickly, but I promise I'll be back as soon as I'm done." His firm voice demanded compliance, and I found myself nodding without even thinking. 

I sat in the room, panicking for a long time. He was surely going to inform his coworkers of the buffoon who though he'd apply for the part. I could picture them all standing around in their fancy suits and shiney shoes, having a nice laugh about me. 

The thought made me squirm in my seat. I didn't want to be here any longer. I wanted this job so badly, but I'd already convinced myself that I wasn't going to get it. Why else would Mr. Tyler Smith, PhD have left the room? 

The door glided open, revealing the man himself. I instantly straightened in my seat, and went back to gnawing the inside of my lip. He sat down across from me, a small smile on his face. Yep, they're sending you home for sure. Damnit, why did you even apply? You knew you wouldn't get it. 

"Mr. Leeman, I've just had a discussion about you with my coworkers." No need to rub it in, man! "We've decided to offer you the job."

I'm fairly certain my jaw dropped lower than humanly possible. It definitely would have been comical, but Mr. Tyler Smith, PhD maintained his composure. I'm not sure anyone else could have. Perhaps that's why they made him do the interviews. 

"Mr. Smith—," I began, but I was promptly cut off. 

"Please, call me Tyler."

I nodded, still a bit in shock. "Tyler. Are you... are you quite certain that you'd like to offer me the job? I mean, there are several other candidates for this job that I'm sure are far more qualified than I am. I don't mean any disrespect, and I'm very grateful for the offer, but..."

This time Tyler did laugh. "John, if I were you, I wouldn't question it. But, if you must know, we all saw something in you. You're very personable. We think you're beyond qualified for the job, but even more than that, you have a way of making people feel comfortable. You're the exact kind of person that we like to hire, and we're very lucky to have found you. That's why we're offering you the job right now. If you'll take it, you can start next Monday." 

I paused to mentally calculate. Today was Thursday, which meant that I would start working for them in a mere four days. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do that, seeing how I hadn't given my two weeks' notice at work yet. 

He seemed to be able to read my mind. "Don't worry about your two weeks' notice. We already contacted your current employer, and he said he'd be more than happy to let you go, seeing how you were on your way to such a bright future. He sends his luck, and says that you can clean out your office tomorrow, if you'd like."

Things seemed to be moving so fast. I could barely understand how this was all happening. Tyler seemed to understand that, and he smiled sympathetically. "If you want to, we can give you more time to think about it. I understand that this might be a bit overwhelming for you. So, if you want to have the weekend, then give us a call on Monday with your final decision, we'd be more than happy to give you that time. Of course, we're hoping that you chose to accept the position. You're very talented, Mr. Leeman, and you're going places. Our company would like to be the one to take you there."

I could only nod slowly, still trying to digest everything. 

"Well, we look forward to hearing back from you on Monday with your final response." Tyler stood, and I followed suit. He walked me to the door, and I left his office in a daze. 

I couldn't focus enough to see the secretary waving a hello to me, or the other workers here smiling encouragingly at me. I just made my way out to my car. 

It still hadn't settled in yet, and I sat in the drivers' seat for a long time, trying to wrap my mind around everything. Somehow, they saw something in me, and they wanted me to work for them.

It wasn't that I doubted myself. I knew that I was good at what I did. Many of my patients had told me that already. I knew that I changed peoples' lives. I knew that a normal company would want to hire me, and that I'd be able to live the rest of my life counseling people through their emotional trials. 




Finally Mine 01



This just seemed different to me. Maybe it was the fact that I'd wanted to work with this company since I was a child and had figured out what I wanted to do when I grew up. Or maybe it was just that they were so reputable that I felt a bit out of my league. Either way, something was keeping me from being able to process the fact that they'd hired me. 

They'd hired me. 

Finally, I let out a whoop of excitement. Sitting there in my car, I pounded the steering wheel and shouted with joy. I was finally doing exactly what I wanted to do! Who cared if it seemed a little unreal? Who cared if I felt out of my league and unsure of myself? I'd fit in soon enough. And they thought that I was good enough for it. Surely that meant that I was. All I had to do was work hard, and hopefully everything would go as planned. 

Good lord, I wanted this. 

I pulled out my phone and dialed Alex and Emma, my two best friends. The little love birds were finally getting past the newlywed phase, and I was starting to move on too. 

When they first got married, I was intensely jealous. I wanted what they had more than anything. They were impossibly happy, and even though the BDSM part of their relationship was more toned down than I would like, they still had that. It was like the total package. I still wanted what they had, but I felt like I was starting a new chapter in my life. I felt like I was finally going to be able to move on and do things for myself. 

If I took things one step at a time, eventually I'd make it to where they were. Getting this job had given me one thing I hadn't had for a while. Hope. 

Emma answered the phone in a breathless voice, making me grin. "Am I interrupting something?"

Emma squealed, and suddenly Alex was on the other end. "Yes, you're interrupting. Please call back in... maybe two or three hours?"

I smiled. They got like that sometimes, and I didn't resent them as much anymore. "Well, I guess I'll just have to keep the good news to myself then."

I could hear Alex contemplating. "Tell me quick, then. I need to get back to this." I knew he was partly serious at the very least, and even though I wanted nothing more than to draw it out and torment him, I also knew that he wanted to get back to tormenting his lovely wife. 

"Well, you know I had my interview today." I let my voice trail off.

"Yes. And?" His voice was quick and rough. I laughed. Emma sure had drawn out a new side of him, and it was fun to see how much he loved and wanted her. God I want that.

I brushed that thought to the side, to think about later. "Well, I got it. They hired me on the spot."

I heard Emma shriek, and she took the phone back from Alex. "John, that's amazing! Oh, we're so happy for you!" She was still breathless, but I could tell she was genuinely excited for me. I grinned. 

"How about I let you two be for a few hours, and we meet for dinner tonight?" I suggested. I wanted to give them some alone time, but I still wanted to celebrate. I was thrilled about getting this job, even if I was still thrown about getting it in the first place. 

"Sounds great!" came Alex's rough voice. We quickly discussed a place and a time, and then we both hung up. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. 

I got the job. 

I really truly got the job. 

Maybe life wasn't so bad after all.



Finally Mine 02



Life is absolute chaos, and it sure can sometimes do some pretty awful things to you when you least expect it. Let me tell ya. But hey, I am a woman of my word, and I did promise that I always finish what I start. (pffttt it only took me four-ish months. I bet no one even noticed! *wink wink*)

I don't estimate that the gaps between the next submissions will be that long, but hey, you never really know what's going to happen with life. But no matter what, even if I'm dead and buried, I always finish what I start.

Just a little note about this chapter—I'm not super well-versed in the workings of counseling and mental health. The assertions made in this chapter about them could be entirely incorrect, and are only there for the progression of the story. Again, the things I say about counseling may be wrong. Please don't go and live your life as if this is the way the counseling system works. If I made a mistake, feel free to rant about it in the comments, and I apologize ahead of time for my horrendous-ness. I hope you can forgive me  

PS If you think you can guess what's up at the end of John's section, shoot me a message, and I'll let you know if you're right in the next submission. I know all of my incredible readers are highly intelligent, so several of you are probably going to get it right, and I'd rather not spoil it for anyone else, so please don't put it in the comments. Thanks lovelies!

Now, without further ado, adieu, asdfghjkl;. Not really sure how to spell that word. Who needs it, anyway?

Enjoy Chapter Two.




5 months later

~John~

Life was hell.

Utter.

Complete.

Fucking.

Living.

Hell.

I sat at the cubicle, sullenly wrapping my fingers around the stapler and applying enough pressure to force the pages together.

Get ahold of yourself John. You knew from the beginning that something was off about the job offer. And you couldn't have been more right. God, you're such a screw up. You know, you'll never amount to anything. They were right to do this to you.

I sighed, and ran a frustrated hand through my hair. This wasn't what this job was supposed to be like at all. It was never meant to be like this, and it killed me inside knowing that this was all that I amounted to.

Paperwork.

Never mind the fact that I have a PhD in psychology. Never mind the fact that the application was to be a counselor. They simply wanted me for paperwork. Oh, sure, they'd made it sound sweet in the beginning.

"We promise, this is only temporary John. We're going through a transition period right now, and we're cutting back on counselors as it is. You understand, don't you?"

And because of their god-damned shiny shoes I believed them. I believed every single one, and it was all a lie. I let out a small grunt in frustration, shoved my paperwork to the side, and rested my head on the cool surface of my desk. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could handle. I came to work every morning thinking that maybe it would be the day when I would finally be able to do what I wanted to do with my life, and I left every day, screaming in frustration because they were "still dealing with the effects of the transition," and "weren't ready to advance me to counselor status yet."

Bunch of lying scoundrels.

I let my head rest there, trying to ease my frustrations with deep breaths, when my phone suddenly buzzed. Generally speaking, I keep it in the drawer of my desk, and I don't answer it during work hours. This to me just seemed like a good idea. However, knowing that no one was around, I pulled it out of my drawer and looked at it.

It was a text from Emma, Alex's wife.

I sighed. She'd made me her personal mission two months ago, noting how miserable and stressed I was all of the time. Emma had taken to texting me frequently, taking me to lunch, making food for me, and talking to me incessantly. I tried talking to Alex about it, but he would only laugh and smile, and say that, "No one can control Emma unless she wants to be controlled."

Flicking my phone on, I went to the message, and read "Hey J, it's Emma. Alex and I are going out of town this weekend, and we wanted to know if you wanted to come with. I'm inviting a friend of mine from work, so you wouldn't be alone. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Oh Emma.

I sighed, and pressed the power button on my phone. I didn't want to think about going on some random vacation and being set up with a girl that I didn't even know. Every part of it sounded miserable. Still, there was a part of me that argued that it couldn't be any worse than what I was going through right now.

Who knows, maybe a break would do me some good? Let me get some fresh air, get away from all of the frustrations dealing with my work and just have some fun with some good friends.

When I put it like that, it was hard to resist.

I stood up from my desk and exited my cubicle, heading in the direction of Tyler's office to talk with him. I got to the main area, and his secretary, Jane, waved at me. Jane and I had a sort of understanding, being the ones who handled all of the paperwork for the office, and as such we were on good terms.

"Hey Jane. I need to talk to Tyler. Mind if I head in?" I asked, leaning on her desk a bit.

"He's on the phone right now, but you can go right on in and wait for him to be done. He never minds, and it'll make everything go faster," she responded, typing away on her computer.

"Thanks," I said, patting her desk twice before heading over to Tyler's office.

Now, let's get something straight. Tyler's office is massive. It definitely wasn't your stereotypical office. It screamed wealth through everything in it. He'd made it by combining his old office and the office of a previous counselor who'd been fired during the transition. It had a beautiful view of the skyline, with specially made windows that allowed him to see out, but no one to see in. There was a full on lounge, complete with a television, in his office. Long story short, it was incredible.

I knocked gently on the door before letting myself in. Tyler's voice echoed around the large room, and I listened carefully, walking to the chair in front of his desk as I did so. I took a seat, knowing that his conversation was nearly done by the resolving tone of his voice. "...we'll get the paperwork all figured out today and she can be in the office by tomorrow. Of course. Yes. I understand. Yes, I'll be working with her personally. Yes. Okay. Thank you, Mr. Thomas. Okay. You too. Goodbye."

Tyler hung up, and quickly turned his attention to me. His eyes studied my face for a few moments, before turning hard and upset. He began his regular lecture, "John, please, I know you're frustrated. But you know we're going through a transition period, and you know—"

"Tyler, I'm not here about that. I understand that there are things that need to be worked out in regards to the workings of the company, and I'm more than willing to be here waiting until they get resolved. I'm actually here about something different entirely." I told him, sitting back in my seat slightly to show him that I was comfortable and relaxed. This seemed to relax him a bit too.

"Sorry, I'm a bit on edge. We have a rather high profile client transferring over to us today, and it's just a high stress situation for everyone involved. What can I do for you, John?" He asked, his voice calmer and at ease.

"I was actually wondering if I could take the rest of the day off today, and tomorrow as well. My friends just asked me today if I wanted to go with them on a trip this weekend, and I don't much today or tomorrow. Although, if you need me to stay to do the transferring paperwork, I'll understand. You know what, I should probably stay. You'll need that paperwork done as soon as possible. Sorry to have bothered you," I started to stand, but Tyler stopped me.

"John, whoa, sit back down. You've been doing a lot of good work lately, you haven't missed a single day yet, and I think it would actually be really good for you to take the time off. Yes, it'd be nice if you could do the paperwork, but Jane can do it just as well as you can. That's all the pressing paperwork that we have for this weekend, so Jane can cover for you while you're gone. Don't stress, and go enjoy yourself. We'll see you back on Monday."

I was quite honestly shocked. I'd come in here mostly expecting that the answer would be a firm no. Tyler had been on my case lately, and I figured he'd play much the same card as he had before in order to keep me here as his personal work horse.

"Really?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.

He laughed. "Yes, really. You always seem to question the good things that happen to you, John. Just accept them. And enjoy your break."

He ushered me out of the room, and I let in do so in stunned silence. Once I was out of the room, he shut the door behind me, leaving me standing there. Jane looked up from her desk to flash me an easy smile, then went right back to typing away at her computer.

"Hey, I'm going to owe you one," I told her, leaning in close. She looked up from her computer, her eyes narrowing.

"What did you do?" She asked, her voice accusatory but teasing.

I grinned back at her. "Oh nothing. I'm just going on vacation, so you're stuck with all of my paperwork."

She raised an eyebrow at me lazily. "Is that all? Gee, I can't wait to see you try and do all of my paperwork. Yours is going to be a breeze."

"Ouch. Fair enough. I guess I probably deserved that one." I paused for a few seconds, then told her, "But I really do owe you one. When I get back, how would you like to go to lunch with me?" The last part came out in a little bit of a rush, and I could feel the blush raising in my cheeks. I wasn't really sure where it came from. Jane and I had become at least fairly good friends, and I thought she was a great woman, but it's not as though I was very attracted to her. She had far too dominant of a personality for us to be very compatible in that way.

Still, she was a delight to be around. She was clever and witty, and I knew that she would make any event fun. I didn't regret asking her, I just hoped it didn't come across as anything more than friendly intentions.

Jane considered me for a few moments before speaking. "I'd love to go to lunch with you," she finally told me, and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks. I'll be back on Monday. Does that work for you?" I asked.

"Sounds great! I'll see you then. Enjoy your vacation. I'll just be here slaving away at all of the work you've left me," she teased, sticking her tongue out at me.

"Oh I'm sure you'll simply die," I joked back, flashing a smile at her before heading back to my cubicle to get my things.

The phone on my desk was buzzing when I got back, and I furrowed my brow. Emma and Alex were the only ones who texted me anymore, and Emma had already just texted me. I wondered what could be happening.

As I pulled up the text message, a chill came over me, and my blood ran cold.

Oh god. Emma.

~Breena~

"There you go sweetheart. The lacerations are all cleared up by now. You can hardly tell that they were even there in the first place," Suzie promised, her careful eyes trying to read the look on my face.

I bit my lip, chewing at them nervously as I eyed my behind. She was right, mostly. Of course I could still see the outlines there, and with my trained eye, they seemed very pronounced. But I was sure that to someone who wasn't looking very closely, they wouldn't be as obvious. It's not like anyone is going to be staring at your behind anytime soon either way, I tried to convince myself.

Sighing, I turned away from the full length mirror that my ever patient nurse had brought in for me. She tried so hard to make me happy, and I knew it disappointed her when I got like this. But, for all that I tried, I really couldn't help it.

The doctors all tried to classify it as something—Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Anxiety. I honestly wasn't sure I cared about what it was. All I knew was that it was awfully hard to try and cope with.

I'd gone to billions of counselors, and each one smiled at me in a placating manner while I tried my best to explain how everything had happened. Every single time I went through it, things turned out the exact same. The point when I got to the fact that I was genuinely curious about and enjoyed several aspects of BDSM was when the confusion showed up on their face. Oh, they all tried to hide it, but no one was very good at it.

I never had a second session with a single counselor, and as such, I kept being bounced from one to another. I was told with each new counselor that this one specifically was very understanding and tolerating, and that no one would judge me based off of my life choices.

Everyone said it about this new one too, but I don't think I believed them. It was hard to try and convince myself to do so when they'd never proven correct in the past.

"Breena... I know that look on your face. God knows I've spent the past five months trying to get it off and your gorgeous smile on. Talk to me, hon. What's wrong?" she asked, her voice full of motherly concern.

"I'm sorry Suzie. It's just so hard. I don't know how much more I can take of this. I bounce from one counselor to the next, and every single one is the exact same, and I just leave feeling more and more disgusted with myself. What's wrong with me?" I asked her, unable to keep the tears from spilling down across my cheeks.

"Oh sweetheart, it's not you, I promise. This new counselor is supposed to be great, and I'm sure you'll get along famously. I've never heard a bad word from anyone about him. I promise. And if it's not okay, then I'll go kick his ass, and I'll be your counselor."

I couldn't help but giggle at that. Somehow, Suzie always knew how to make me smile. I wasn't sure I was ready to leave the hospital yet, and leave her kindness, but I knew that I was going to have to do so eventually. And since, physically at least, I was healed, there really wasn't any reason for me to stay here any longer.

"I'm going to miss you Suzie."

"I'm going to miss you too, darling. You're an incredible young lady, and it's been such a delight to get to know you. I really am going to miss seeing you every day. But, I know that you're going on to bigger and better things. That's what's going to get me through the rough days when I'm really missing you. And we'll keep in touch through email, like we already promised. You're going to love moving, and being out on your own. It's an awesome sense of independence that I really think you kind of need right now," she told me honestly.

I nodded at the truth behind her words. I knew that it would be good for me to be able to strike out on my own and learn for myself how the world works. But it also really scared me. I'd been depended on someone else for almost my entire life, and the only time when I hadn't been, I'd made a huge mistake and it had nearly cost me my life- literally. The idea that I was going to screw up again was absolutely terrifying, and I wasn't sure how I was going to cope with it.

Maybe if I finally got a good counselor, they'd be able to help me through everything. All I really needed was someone who understood. Why didn't they have a counselor who specified in BDSM related abuse?

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, forcing the thoughts from my mind. Today was my last day at the hospital. An anonymous fundraiser had been created when word of my condition had spread, and all of the money had gone directly into a checking account that had been set up for me by the life counselor they'd supplied me with. What this meant for me was that I basically had all of the money that I could possibly need to live the rest of my life in complete luxury. Really, I could do anything that I wanted. A more adventurous person would see the money and dream of travelling the world. I, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to settle down in an apartment and live the rest of my life as simply as I could.

That was what I planned on doing so far. Or really, what they'd planned out for me. My life planner had gotten the lease for a small apartment near my counselor, and had arranged to have furniture delivered before I got there. All I would have to do was show up, and get on with my life.

I sighed at the prospect. Although it was everything that I really could have wanted, it was beyond frustrating knowing that someone else had to do it for me. I wished that I had the capacity to do it for myself instead of making someone else do everything for me. My life planner told me over and over again that making these choices would come with time, but I wasn't too sure if that was actually the case. It was kind of hard to believe when no one was allowing me to decide anything for myself right now. 

Suzie rubbed my arm affectionately, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Well, I hate to say this, but I need to get going, hon. I've got other patients to see to right now." She sighed, standing there a bit awkwardly. 

"Okay..." I stood up, and impulsively threw my arms around her. Suzie froze for a second, but then hugged me back tightly. "I'm going to miss you Suzie. Thank you for everything that you've done for me."

She nodded against my shoulder, and pulled away gently. "I'm not sure how appropriate it is for me to hug a patient, but I just can't help myself. Don't tell the others but," she leaned forward conspiratorially, "you're my favorite patient."

I grinned at her, and gave her one final hug. "Wish me luck. I guess it's time for me to go face the big, scary world out there." I bit my lip, my nerves breaking through my calm façade. 

"I know you can do it, sweetheart."

She gave me one final smile before disappearing through the door. It was entirely disheartening to watch her go, but I comforted myself with the knowledge that she had my email, and that I had hers. My first task when I got to my new home would be to email her and update her on how I was doing. I knew she'd appreciate it. 

I sat back down on the bed, impatiently counting down the rest of the time until I would be pulled away to leave, and travel to my new home. As I waited, my anxiety continued to mount. I wasn't sure about how things would go in this new place, but either way, I knew that my life was going to be changed irrevocably. 

Several hours later, I stared at the small apartment that I could now call my own, knowing that my previous thoughts of my life being changed forever couldn't be more true. I'd never been in a place as wonderful as this. The air was crisp and clear, I had an insanely beautiful view from the window, and a lovely plaza was just a few minutes away. I knew that I'd be spending an awful lot of time there in the coming warm months, hours spent relaxing and working on a tan I'd never before had. 

I opened the windows, allowing the warm breeze to flow through them and across my skin. Turning back to my apartment, I started wandering around the space. My life planner had clinically explained all of the contributions that had been made on my behalf to help me get settled into this new space and this new life. 

Clothes, food, cookware, furniture, music, movies, electronics, even a motorized scooter to get me to and from my counseling sessions. It was all a bit overwhelming to try and comprehend that all of this had been done on my behalf. A large part of me didn't feel as though I deserved any of it. I was the one who had made a massive mistake and nearly gotten myself killed. 

I sighed, frustrated. Every counselor, even those that were disgusted with me, had told me that I shouldn't think things like that. The problem with that was that taking that advice was incredibly difficult. I knew that I was to blame for everything that had happened, and anyone who said otherwise was just lying tome to try and make me feel better. 




Finally Mine 02



I curled up in the rocking chair that had been placed in the corner of the room and plucked up one of the many books that had been supplied for me in a lovely bookshelf. I didn't check the title, and randomly started reading it. 

A few pages in, and I simply couldn't take the cheerful, flowery words that decorate each page. It was a self-help book about getting past trials, and each page began with a biblical scripture about turning to God in times of hardship, and how it made everything better. 

No offense to God, but he certainly hadn't been there for me when everything had gone down. Although, I suppose I had to give him a break. If he even existed, he could probably only help people that weren't complete idiots, and didn't bring all sorts of awful things on themselves. 

I bit my lip, and carefully placed the book back from where I'd gotten it. Because I was still in the mood to read, and to try and get my mind off of everything, I pulled another book off of the shelf. This time I had enough sense to read the title first. 

Repentance: God's Greatest Gift to Us

I placed it back on the shelf, trying to suppress a grin. One by one, I went through the rest of the books on the shelf. Every single one was about God, overcoming trials, repenting, or finding light in times of darkness.

It wasn't hard to tell what the person who'd donated all of these books was trying to tell me. Really, it was enough to put me out of the mood to read. 

Instead, I headed into the bedroom that I could now call my own, and curled up on the bed that felt much too big. 

An eerie feeling began to creep over me, and I couldn't help the feeling that someone was watching me. Finally, it got to be too much. I got up out of the bed, clutching my phone in my hand as a flashlight. I went out of my bedroom, and rechecked the lock on the door. It was locked, just like I knew it was. 

Slowly, I went through every single room in the apartment and checked every crevice I could find. No closet, bed, or cupboard could escape my thorough search. I returned to my bedroom, and checked my closet and under the bed, before laying back down. 

The uneasy feeling still remained, and so I repeated the process another three times. I wasn't sure what I would do if I actually found anyone or anything out of the ordinary, but I was determined to reassure myself that everything was okay. 

My heart was still pounding in my chest, and my nerves were still prickling after finishing my last round. Finally, I pulled the comforter off of my bed and settled into the corner of my bedroom. From this vantage point, I could see the closet, the window, and the door. If anything were to happen, I would be completely prepared. 

It was in this position that I settled into an uneasy sleep, my dreams filled with the nightmares that had once been my reality. 




Well, that's the end of this chapter my wonderful readers. I want to say sorry one more time for the big break in-between chapters. I'll do better about that, I promise. Well, scratch that. I'll do better about that, I hope. In the meantime, if anyone wants to volunteer to become an editor/cheerleader/make me do things person for me, I'm super open to that. Sometimes I just need someone to make me write in order to write. So, message me if you want to help out with that 

Thanks for all of your support, and please, vote and comment. You can't imagine how happy it makes me when you do!

~Shysubmissivegirl~



Finally Mine 03



Thank you all so very much for your kind reception of chapter two. I'm hoping things get posted a bit more frequently now ;)

Congratulations to the ruggedly handsome Dino, the first one to correctly guess what happened at the end of John's section. He's a pretty stellar editor, and I'm very grateful to have had his help. Another big congrats to NorthernDancer, who also guessed correctly, and is a total gem. 

Thanks so very much to Pheobecharmed and anon for their guesses. While not quite right, they were really great to read, and it's lovely seeing people become interested in the stories and the directions their minds take. 

Again, anything that deals with medical things may be incorrect, or may not be the experience everyone has. Things are written a certain way for the progression of the story, and are not necessarily correct. If I mess something up, feel free to rant about it in the comments. I apologize in advance for anything that anyone feels in incorrect. 

Enjoy Ch 03 of Finally Mine!

~shysubmissivegirl~

*

~John~

I gently closed the door behind me, doing my best to ensure that I didn't wake or disturb Emma. She'd had a god awful day, and Lord knows she needed all the sleep she could get.

Alex was perched right outside, his anxious eyes bright with worry. I nodded at him, "She's okay. She's exhausted, obviously, and I expect she'll be quite a bit embarrassed by how she reacted. Most people are after something like this. Go easy on her the next couple of days, and no matter what you do, no sex unless she asks for it. Understood?"

Alex furrowed his brow and nodded slowly. I could tell he was a bit upset by the news, but nonetheless, he was willing to deal with it because it was what would be best for Emma. I could see the worry settle on him as he now realized that Emma wasn't going to return to her bouncy, cheerful self right away. She needed time to cope with things, and she needed to feel safe most of all.

"Come on, let's go sit down. You need a drink," I told him, guiding him into his living room with a practiced manner. Thank God I had experience in the field of counseling, or otherwise, I'd have never been able to handle it. I was honestly shocked that Alex had done as well as he had until I'd gotten here.

A big part of that, I knew, came from his dominant personality. Alex was very good at controlling himself and remaining calm, even in high-stress situations. Still, this was beyond what most people could handle. When a loved one had a massive anxiety attack, it was always hard to deal with.

I sat Alex down, momentarily breaking free from my thoughts. "What do you want?" I asked him, beginning to rummage through his fridge.

"Just get me a beer," Alex replied, his voice strangely numb.

I hesitated, instead plucking two bottles of water from the fridge. I didn't think Alex really needed any more beer right now. He needed a clear head, so that he could comprehend everything that had happened.

I headed back into the living room, and passed Alex the bottle of water. He took it, a funny look coming over his face, then proceeded to twist off the cap and take a sip. "I thought I said I wanted a beer," he commented, taking another sip. 

"I know," I replied, sitting on the couch next to him. 

It was so odd watching things, looking at the room and knowing what had just happened in here. My mind raced back, reliving the events. 

*

I got the text from Alex, and it had shocked me to the core. It wasn't a message really, just a picture, and I'd had to zoom in on my phone to see it clearly. What it showed had me racing from my office, and to Alex's house. 

It was a picture from the news. On it was a face I didn't recognize at all, one I was certain I'd never seen. But the name below it was more than enough to guarantee who it was. 

Jordan White.

I'd heard the name from Emma over and over while she and Alex tried to figure out their relationship. She constantly told me of her nightmares regarding him, how thoughts of him coming back to hurt her plagued her on a daily basis. Once Alex and Emma had gotten together, I made her tell him everything she'd told me. Alex wanted to force her to go to a counselor, and only realizing that she pretty much already had, by seeming me, stopped him from dragging her to one himself. 

Jordan White was Emma's former "Master." I use the word Master hesitantly, because I don't see what he did as being anything like a Master. Jordan was, to simply put it, a bastard through and through. A Master is not someone who puts others down and destroys them. Killing someone emotionally is not the way to establish dominance. Destroying trust didn't qualify either. 

It's people like him that end up killing their submissives. People like him that cause others to misunderstand the level of trust and love expressed in this lifestyle. Only those who live in real relationships centered on dominance and submission understand the whole-hearted depth of emotions and trust needed for it to be successful. 

Thinking about it made my stomach roll, and I couldn't even imagine how Emma was doing. As a counselor, I could surely diagnose her with PTSD, although she was easily able to overcome it with the help of myself and Alex. With things being brought back up, I'd bet my hat that she was experiencing severe flashbacks and emotional distress. 

I needed to get there fast. While Alex was good with Emma, and while I knew he loved her with all of his heart, I also knew that he wasn't exactly trained to handle situations like this the way I was. And especially with victims of sexual abuse, many people handled things the wrong way. Alex would feel the need to protect her, and hold her, and many times, that could worsen the situation a great deal. 

I finally got to Emma and Alex's place. I hurried up to the door, and then stopped to compose myself. Often people going through anxiety attacks needed someone calm around them to help them ground themselves. It wouldn't help anyone, and if anything, it would make the attack go on longer or get worse. 

Once I was sufficiently calmed, I eased the door to their home open, and softly crossed the threshold. I could hear soft whimpers coming from the living room, and so once I had closed the door behind me, I made my way there. 

My eyes took in the room as I paused in the entrance. The couch was turned sideways, facing the wall, and Alex was sitting on it. His head was in his hands, and he was massaging his temples in frustration. Emma was huddled into the corner, her arms wrapped around her legs, rocking back and forth, whimpering. 

"Please, Emma," Alex whispered, lifting his head out of his hands. Emma flinched at the sound of his voice, drawing inside herself more, curling her legs closer to her body and rocking faster. Alex's face dropped, and it worried me to see how drawn and exhausted he looked. 

I stepped into the room slowly and quietly, being sure not to alert Emma to my presence, and gently rested my hand on Alex's shoulder. He jerked, and turned to look at me, relaxing when he realized who it was. 

I placed my finger over my lips, indicating that he should be quiet, and nodded my head towards the door I'd just come through. He looked back at Emma, worried about leaving her, but at my insistence, followed me. 

We passed through the door, and made our way outside. After ensuring that the door was closed so we wouldn't disturb Emma, I turned to Alex and said in a quiet voice, "Okay. I know you're freaked out and stressed, but I really need you to let me handle this. Emma's going through hell right now, and she needs someone who knows how to make it better. Just stay in the corner, and stay quiet, and watch so you can do it next time. Okay?" 

He nodded back at me, a bit caught off guard by how straightforward I was being. I smiled, trying to convey that I was sorry, and turned to go back inside. 

Once I entered the house, I was in the zone. I was completely focused on Emma, and ensuring her well-being. I made my way into the corner where she was huddled, and sat on the ground in front of her. 

"Emma?" I said softly, pressing forward even when she flinched. "It's John. It's me, your friend John. I promise, you're okay. I know you're scared, and you have every right to be scared right now. I just want you to know that you're not alone, and that Alex and I are here, and that we love you and care for you, and we're here to keep you safe."

I paused, gauging her reaction. She seemed to be doing okay, so I decided to continue. "Do you want to be touched right now, or would you rather not?" I asked gently. 

I waited for a bit, and when she didn't respond, I was unsure of how to continue. Finally, unsure of whether this was the correct decision, I said in a stern voice, "Emma, you know I need a response. Do you want to be touched, yes or no?"

Surprised by the tone of my voice, Emma's head lifted, and her eyes peeked out at me. Cautiously, she nodded. I smiled at her, very pleased by her reaction. "Thank you, Emma," I told her, gently patting her leg. 

We sat like this for a long while, my hand on her leg, her rocking back and forth. Every now and then a tremor would flicker it's way through her body, and the whimpering would start up again as she rocked back and forth. Every time, I would gently squeeze her leg, and whisper to her that Alex and I were here, and that she was safe and loved. 

The tremors grew further and further apart, and as they did, the rocking began to slow, finally coming to a stop. I kept my hand on her leg, comforting her, waiting for her to pop her head up from the nest she'd made with her legs. 

Finally, her eyes peeked up at me like they'd done before. I smiled at her gently, and gave her leg another squeeze. I was rewarded with a small smile, and then rapid blinking. It would have almost been comical to watch the exhaustion sweep over her face if I hadn't been this close to her. 

"Emma?" I asked gently, "Would you like me to take you up to your bed, so you can sleep?"

She blinked at me twice, and I waited patiently. She knew already that I needed a yes or no answer, and that anything else wasn't going to be acceptable.

Finally, after what seemed like an interminable wait, she gave me a tiny nod. I smiled down at her, and gently scooped her into my arms. She rested her head on my chest, allowing me to carry her wherever I pleased. 

I carried her up the stairs, which I knew led to her and Alex's room. Alex's footsteps followed along behind me, and I didn't turn to stop him. I simply carried Emma through the door, laid her on the bed, then turned back around to close it. I didn't want Alex to come in here. 

"Emma, do you want to get into pajamas?" I asked her, watching for a reaction. 

She responded more quickly this time, although there was still a significant delay before her nod came. 

"Are you okay if I help you change? I know you're still unsteady on your feet, and I don't want you falling," I explained at her hesitant look. "I promise to be a perfect gentleman, and if you ever want me to stop, I swear on my life I will."

Emma eyed me for a few more minutes, before nodding slowly. 

"Where are your pajamas?" I asked her. 

She pointed at the closet, and I opened the door, quickly finding a pair of lime green fuzzy pajama pants and a teal tank top. I held them up for her inspection, "These okay?"

She nodded, and sat up on the bed a bit. I went over to her, and carefully helped her stand up. "Alright Emma, shirt off."

Emma stood there, still for a second. "Remember, any time you want me to stop, I will. I'm just here to help you change into pajamas, nothing else."

That seemed to encourage and calm her, and she carefully tugged on the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head in a quick movement. I took it from her, and helped her slip on the bright orange tank top. 

We repeated the process with the lime green pajama pants, except she put them on primarily by herself, using me just for balance. It was good to see her starting to recover, as proven by her ability to accomplish the new tasks that I gave her 

Once she'd finished putting on the pajama pants, I helped her back to the bed. She lay on one side, and immediately pulled one of the pillows to her and took a deep breath, smelling it. She then lay her head on it and cuddled into it. I pulled the blankets up around her, and quickly piled the rest of the pillows around her, basically creating a nest for her. 

She cuddled in, a small smile ghosting across her face. 

"I'm going to go back out of the room now, Emma. I want you to sleep now. Alex and I are going to be just downstairs, so if you need anything at all, just come and ask. Or you can just shout down to us, and we'll come up to you," I told her. 

She nodded at me, blinking her eyes, sleep already creeping up on her. 

I opened the door, and closed it behind me softly, doing my best to ensure that I didn't wake or disturb Emma. Alex was perched right outside, his anxious eyes bright with worry. I nodded at him, "She's okay."

*

And now we were here. Emma was still upstairs, sleeping. 

Right now, I wasn't too worried about her. She would sleep off the anxiety attack, and come down ready to face the world. She'd probably have nightmares for a while, especially until this whole thing with Jordan popping back up was resolved. But I knew that she would pull through and return to normal. 

Alex was another story.

Sometimes I think it's almost harder on the loved ones of those who suffer PTSD and anxiety. They have to cope with the guilt, the terror they bring those they care for. I knew Alex loved Emma deeply, and not being able to help her would hurt him a great deal. 

"Alex?" I said, capturing his attention. "I hope tonight was a good lesson for you. I'm sorry I was so abrupt with you earlier, but it needed to be done, for Emma's sake. I won't always be here in the future, and this may happen to Emma occasionally. But I know that you can help her through these episodes. It's just important to let her know how much you love her and care for her. I know it seems like a lot to wrap your head around, but you'll get better at it with time. Most people that suffer from PTSD that I've treated just need a sense of stability, and to be reminded that they're in the present with someone who loves them. You can do that far better than I can. For someone like Emma, be very sure to approach anything even bordering on sexual very cautiously. And always pay attention to her when she's having an attack. You'll learn what things can trigger it, and how best to bring them out. Emma responds incredibly well to direct questions, which you may or may not have noticed. Making her pay attention to something specific in a direct way helps to bring her around far quicker than just asking a question and leaving it. Never force her to do anything, but constantly remind her that you've asked her a question, and that you want an answer. Other than that, just be yourself," I told him, trying to explain the diagnosis in a way he would understand and could use to help both him and Emma in the future. 

Alex nodded slowly, his face still drawn. I could tell something was still bothering him, and I had a feeling I knew exactly what it was.

"You know there's nothing you could have done to prevent this, right?" I asked. When I saw his face twinge, I knew I'd guessed correctly. 

"Like Hell I couldn't. I should have killed the mother fucker the second I saw him with my Emma. I should have killed him when I saw what he did to her. I should have hunted him down and made sure he would never ever be able to touch my girl again. I should have... I should have protected her from this." His voice cracked, and tears began to race down his cheeks. "God why didn't I protect her?"

He fell against the couch, sobs now racking his body. I wasn't quite sure what to do. This was my best friend, my confidant, strong, sure best friend who never doubted himself. I knew he loved Emma, but it was times like these that made me realize just how much he did. 

"What makes you say you didn't protect her? Alex, you did far more than anyone else could have ever done. You gave her the best protection anyone could ever give a girl. You gave her your love, so that she would always know that you would take care of her, through anything. That's all she needs to be able to get through this. Just keep on loving her, and everything else will work itself out," I told him honestly. 

His sobs eventually ran out, and he turned to look at me. "Thank you, John. I- It means so much that you're willing to be here for me and Emma. I'm sorry I kind of... broke down there." He seemed really embarrassed, and a faint blush rose to his cheeks. 

"Hey, we wouldn't be friends if we weren't allowed to break down about the girls we love, right? I fully expect you to allow me to do so without throwing a fit," I told him, grinning.

That seemed to break him out of his mood. "Oh, you've got a girl you love, do you?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at me suggestively.

"Not yet..." I told him, longing filling my voice. 

An uncomfortable silence followed. "Sorry," I finally said. "I'll wallow in self pity later. For now, can you please tell me what the hell is going on? All I know is Emma saw something about Jordan on the news, and it freaked her out. Completely understandable, but what was it?"

"Well, why don't you see for yourself. I recorded it before turning off the TV. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but a part of me wanted to watch it later and just scream at him for what he did to my kitten."

The aggressive Alex was back, and I smirked at him. "Well, let's just watch it the first time, so we can figure out what's going on. Then I'll happily leave you to scream at the TV screen, as long as Emma is still asleep. Just make sure you delete the show from your recordings before Emma wakes up. I wouldn't want her watching this anytime soon," I warned him. 

He nodded, and pressed a button on the remote to turn on the TV. A few clicks later, and his finger was hovering over the play button. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and finally pressed play. 

A news anchor was already part of the way through a report, her normally lovely face seeming anxious and worried, "...announced on Friday that the woman is doing fine, and wishes to retain her anonymity. Federal agents are now searching through the remaining tapes in an effort to locate the women involved to testify against Mr. White in a court hearing, which is predicted to take place in a few months. The tapes in question are alleged to contain explicit and violent sexual content between the accused and other women he was acquainted with , and will be central to the case against Mr White. For that reason we are unable to show them at this stage.Federal agents are encouraging anyone who may have information pertaining to the case, or who may know the location of any of the women who were involved with Mr. White to please contact their local police right away. In other news..." 

Alex paused the TV, his face white. "There were... others. Before her. And another after her," he whispered, disgust filling his voice. 

"That poor woman," I murmured, concerned. Most psychopaths got more obsessive and destructive with time, not less. There was a good chance that what Jordan had done to Emma would nearly pale in comparison to what the unknown woman had endured. The thought sickened me when I thought of how ill and hurt Emma had been when she'd first gotten here, and how she was still suffering to this day. God knows how this new woman even functioned. 

Alex's voice broke into my thoughts. "Do we need to tell the cops? That Emma was involved with him?" 




Finally Mine 03



I thought about that. Yes, they had asked for people with pertinent information to come forward. Yes, Emma very well could be a key player in helping to get Jordan convicted. But, Emma would only be useful if she were emotionally stable, and ready to commit to the task. "Why don't you ask her?"

"Ask her?" Alex shot back, his voice incredulous. "Do you really think she's in the right mind to make that decision right now?"

"She will be. So yes. You need to ask her. She'll know better than anyone about whether this is something she's willing to get into. If it is, then that's up to her, and you'll need to be there to support her. If not, then you need to be there to support her in that decision. Of course, you have to give if a few days. You can't just spring this on her right away, because she's not in the right mind to make the decision yet. But the decision is hers to make, even if she'll need a bit of time before she can make it," I told him. 

Alex was quiet for a bit. "You're right, of course. I'm sorry. I'm a little tense tonight, if you can't tell already." He gave a small chuckle, and ran a hand through his hair. "I just... I love her. And I don't want her to have to go through any of this. I wish there was something I could do for her, to make this better." 

"You already do make it better," came a quiet voice from the bottom of the stairs. Alex's head shot up, and he turned to find Emma standing there. 

"How long have you-" he began, but she cut him off. 

"Long enough. I know what's going on. And I'm... I think I'm doing okay with most of it. I know I'll be okay as long as I have you here," she told him. Anyone could have seen the love shining in her eyes as she came and sat next to him. 

"I'm still not entirely okay. I know I'm still really scared. And I know I'm going to need a lot of help to get through the next couple of weeks, maybe even the next couple of months. But with you here, I know I can do it."

Alex seemed frozen in place, unsure of how to respond. He looked at me, seeming a bit helpless. I just smiled at him, and stood up, knowing I was no longer needed. "Remember, she's able to make her own decisions. You just need to be there to support her." I told him, making my way to the door. "Have fun you two. Let me know if you need me anytime soon!"

I walked out of the door, chuckling. 

Even with all of the awful things that were going on, good things could happen. Still, even with Emma now recovering, a dark cloud covered the happiness. I couldn't stop thinking about the poor girl, and how she was faring. I just hoped she was getting the help she needed, so that she wouldn't end up without a much needed support system to get her through the hard times.



Finally Mine 04



Once again, thank you to my incredible editor, the ruggedly handsome Dino. Not sure how I got by without him during HKA. He catches everything, and it's awesome! Plus, he certainly makes writing fun, even if I do occasionally laugh more than write.

Again, the same note I've been leaving on every chapter, anything that deals with medical things may be incorrect, or may not be the experience everyone has. Things are written a certain way for the progression of the story, and are not necessarily correct. If I mess something up, feel free to rant about it in the comments. I apologize in advance for anything that anyone feels in incorrect. 

Enjoy Ch 04 of Finally Mine!

~shysubmissivegirl~

*

~Emma~

Once John left, I collapsed into Alex's chest, burying my face in the warmth I found there. The side benefit was the fact that it hid my steadily reddening cheeks. "I'm sorry Sir."

"None of that, kitten. There's absolutely no need for you to be sorry about anything. I'm just glad that you're okay," he told me. I could hear the relief in his voice, and a wave of guilt washed over me. 

"I'm sorry I worried you..." I whispered.

"Hey, I already said none of that. I know you're in a panic, but that doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly start tolerating a fit of disobedience. Say it again, and you'll certainly have a need to say sorry. There is absolutely no reason for you to apologize. You've been through hell and back, and the only thing that matters right now is that you're okay. I love you, kitten. I want to be here for you, through the good times of course, but also through the bad. I love taking care of you, I love being here for you. I love holding you, and most of all, I just love you."

I nuzzled into his chest, a smile ghosting over my lips. 

It was at moments like this when it was hard to even bring to mind the flashbacks I'd been experiencing all day. 

Just thinking of them brought a sour taste to my mouth, and frowning, I pulled away. 

Alex noticed instantly, and hesitated. It was easy to tell that he was unsure of himself. "Sir? I'm scared. What if he gets out, and comes after me? Or after anyone else? He's so awful, and I just... I can't imagine going back to that. Ever. I don't know what to do, and I'm just so scared Sir," I finally confess.

"Oh kitten." His arms wrap around me tightly, holding me close to him. "I will never let anyone hurt you. You're mine, and I will do whatever it takes to protect you. I promise."

I lay there, my head on his chest, thinking for a bit. 

All of the memories of everything Jordan ever did to me overtake me, sweeping me away in their filthy current. The times he beat me, when he killed my baby, when he degraded me, when I was so afraid I thought I might die. All of the pain he caused me. I always thought I deserved what he did to me. The terrible ways he made me feel, the awful things that he said and did to me were all made worse by the way he told me that I deserved all of it. 

For a long time, I thought that I loved him. I managed to convince myself that he was the one for me. Thank God I'd been able to come to my senses before he killed me. I'd been lucky to escape him with my life. 

All of this made me think a great deal. It made me think of my life with Alex. He never made me feel that way. He took care of me. He never punished me overly harshly, he never punished me for no reason, and he always respected me when I needed something. My opinion was valued. He guided me through things, and he taught me. Jordan had never done any of these things. 

I was lucky to have escaped Jordan. It was something far beyond luck that guided me to Alex, and let me become his. Every piece of the puzzle that was my life that had fallen in place to get me here was just more proof of how lucky I was, and how undeserving of all of this I really was. 

I nuzzled into Alex's chest. "Thank you. For taking care of me. For everything you do for me, really. I'm so lucky to be yours."

Alex pressed a kiss to my head, and a pleasurable tingle raced through my body. Not a sexual one. I wasn't ready for that, and we both knew it. Just one of pure love for this man who was holding me so close. "I'm lucky that you're mine, kitten."

We sat like this for a good long while, just the two of us cuddling. I always loved when we did this. It was nice to know that not everything in our relationship had to be purely sexual, and that we could just snuggle sometimes. He always seemed to know when I needed something like this. 

"Can you take me back to bed, Sir?" I asked.

"Of course, love."

I felt his arms wrap tighter around me, and lift me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and cuddled closer, drifting off as we made our way up the stairs. 

I was so lucky to have him as my Master. 

Alex laid me on the bed, and pulled the covers up around me. 

I frowned, and reached out my arms, searching for his body. "Sir?"

"Yes, kitten?"

"Why aren't you laying next to me?" I asked, a little bit of a pout entering my voice. 

"I didn't want to do something that might make you upset. John said that you might be a bit unsettled for a while afterwards, and that you needed to take it easy," he explained, his shoulders stroking that place where my shoulder and neck met. 

I sighed contently. "Fuck John, and fuck what he said. Please lay next to me, Sir." I said, blinking up at him. 

He gave me a small smile, and within a few seconds, was slipping in next to me under the covers. I curled into him, and felt his hands stroking my hair. It felt absolutely incredible, and I wanted to curl into him even more. 

Suddenly, his hand gripped my hair tight, and he ripped my head away from his chest. "Fucking whore! What the hell do you think you're doing, you little slut. When did I say you could fucking touch me?" He shouted down, split flinging from his face as his cheeks and brow turned an angry red. 

I whimpered an apology, curling into myself. It was a familiar position for me, one I'd held many times before. "Did I say you could make a sound? You little fucking cunt. God I'm so glad Jordan killed your kid, so there aren't more of you wandering around." 

Alex continued to swear, ripping hair from my head with how forcefully he dragged me around by it. "You need to get your little ass whipped, don't you?"

I wanted to shake my head, but the numbness had already settled over me. There was nothing I could do to get him out of this mindset when he was in it. Resisting would only mean a bigger punishment for me. 

I felt him rip at my arms and flip me over, securing my hands with brutal force. I let out a shriek of pain, and felt him slap me hard, several times. "Shut up, you little cunt."

I lay there, on the bed, whimpering and waiting. 

Finally, the punishment started. Oh God, the pain was sharp and so deep. My throat was hoarse from screaming, my limbs ached from flailing and tugging on my restraints. I was certain my wrists were bloody, as they had been several times from similar situations. 

I was begging him to stop, pleading with with, but he wouldn't. 

The pain was so great, and I heard him laughing in my ear. "Oh kitten..."

Suddenly, I shot up with a start, screaming. My body was covered with sweat, and I was shaking. Tears were streaming down my face, and I couldn't help the second scream that ripped out of my throat. 

Alex was in front of me, a look of concern on his face. "Kitten, it's me. It's Alex. Please, love, it's okay. I love you. It's okay. You're okay. I'm here to take care of you."

I collapsed into him, shaking violently. "It was you... and you were so mean... and it hurt so bad," I sobbed out, unable to stop myself. I felt his arms encircle me comfortingly, gently. 

"I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry. I would never hurt you, I promise. I'm only here to take care of you, and love you. You're safe with me, and you always will be," he reassured me, murmuring words of comfort into my ear, and rocking me gently back and forth as he spoke. 

I slowly calmed down, taking comfort in his words.

The dream Alex hadn't been real. This was the real Alex. 

I just needed to tell myself that over and over. 

It was easy to remind myself of it, when I was in a rational mind. I knew Alex loved me, and I knew he would never say any of the awful things that he'd said in my dream. But for some reason, I was unable to make myself think of that when I was in the dream. 

I felt my eyelids begin to droop, and I force them open. "I don't want to go to sleep, Sir... The nightmares are just awful. And I can never tell that they're not real. Please don't make me."

I felt his lips smile against my forehead. "I don't think I can stop you, my love. But how about this... wait here for a second, I'm going to get you something." 

He gently laid me back down in the bed, and slipped out the door. I pulled his pillow close to me while he was gone, inhaling his comforting smell. After a few minutes, he returned, carrying something in his hands. 

He came and sat next to me, and proudly showed me what he was holding. It was a beautifully dyed loom, with string intricately weaving it's way throughout. A couple of feathers with beads hung below it. "What is it Sir?" I asked, intrigued. 

"It's a dream catcher, pet. It will catch all of the bad dreams while you sleep, and only let the good ones through. That way, you can't have any nightmares. Okay?"

I smiled up at him. "I love it Sir. Will you hang it up for it?"

"Of course."

He hung it up on the window, so the moonlight shone through the gaps in the weaving. 

"I love you kitten," he told me, climbing back in beside me. 

"I love you too, Sir. Thank you for being here for me. I know this isn't what you really expected from being my Master, and I really appreciate it."

"Kitten, this is what being a Master means. I know it sometimes means dominating you in bed, collaring you, and taking you the way I want to. But it also means taking care of you, and being here for you, and protecting you. I love every aspect of being your Master, and that includes taking care of you."

I smiled up at him, feeling sleep begin to overtake me. With all that he'd said and done for me, I was sure that the dream catcher wasn't going to have a hard time keeping the nightmares away. There wouldn't be any more coming tonight. 

~Breena~

I sighed, pausing in front of the doors to the counseling firm. Everything looked so cold and metallic, and I wasn't really sure about this place. There was an air of indifference surrounding the building that frightened me more than a little bit. 

However, I knew the firm came highly recommended, and so I pushed the doors open and made my way into the lobby. A very attractive young lady sat at the desk, tapping away at the keyboard. Her eyes flickered up to me, and a smile crossed her face. "Just one moment, and I'll be with you."

I nodded slowly, allowing my eyes to wander around the place. It was quite opulent. Lots of golds and silvers, and a very modern feel to the whole place. It was obvious that the owners wanted to convey their wealth and success. That was a bit off-putting. 

I let it slide though, convincing myself that there was a reasonable explanation behind it. Surely they had to at least appear wealthy in order to impress clients or other firms. They had a reputation to uphold. That had to be it.

The secretary finished tapping away at her keyboard, and smiled up at me. "How may I help you?" she asked, a genuine sense of happiness in her voice. 

"I have an appointment right now. With... I think his name was Tyler?" I told her, a bit unsure of myself. 

She gave me a soft smile, and clicked a few buttons on the keyboard. "Ah, right here, our three o'clock. Please, take a seat, and I'll buzz Tyler to let him know that you're here."

I nodded, and carefully took a seat in one of the chairs arranged stylishly throughout the lobby. The one in the corner had been calling my name, and so I sat there. I tried to be casual about it, but my eyes kept flickering to the doors and many windows, always watching for anyone who might come in. I didn't want to be caught unawares if anything were to happen. 

I heard a door open, and turned my head in that direction. A man was stepping towards me, a smile on his face. He was the image of perfection, and I instantly disliked him. Everything about him seemed rather forced-- the smile, the flawless teeth, the perfectly styled hair, the pressed and tailored suit, the gleaming shoes. He felt as frigid as the building did. 

I bit the inside of my lip, trying to keep from bolting. There was something about him that just screamed wrong to me. He seemed dangerous, and my blood ran cold at the thought of being alone with him in a room, let alone telling him everything that had happened to me. I couldn't even come close to imagining letting him coach me through the hard times I had been through.. The thought bordered on ridiculous. 

"Hello, Miss. I'm Tyler. We're ready for you in here," He said, extending his hand to me. Hesitantly, I placed my hand in his, and let him tug me out of my chair. I followed behind him, trying to suppress my feelings of distaste. 

He took me to a door, and opened it, placing a hand on my back and gently pushing me in before him. I flinched at the feel of him touching me, but he didn't seem to notice, as he kept his hand on me as we continued into the room.

"Sit," he told me, gesturing to the stereotypical couch that every single therapist seems to have. It was a glossy black recliner with little divots throughout, and it honestly looked very uncomfortable. I hesitated, looking back to him to ensure that he was serious. He raised an eyebrow as if daring me to protest. 

I sat. 

"Go on then, lean back. Get comfortable," he ordered in a stern voice. I lay back slowly, trying to avoid the metal protrusions that came from each of the divots. I seriously doubted that I would be comfortable any time soon. 

Maybe that was the point of the chair. It certainly seemed as though this particular therapist might use that level of discomfort to make me uneasy, so I might make a mistake or slip up out of anxiety. I doubted that he could anticipate the fact that I had a relatively scripted response to every question every previous counselor had asked me. 

It wasn't that I didn't want help getting over things. I honestly did. I knew that I would be able to recover more quickly and more fully if I allowed myself to get certain things off of my chest. I also knew, however, that there are plenty of counselors who simply didn't understand my point of view on things. 

It was nearly impossible to try and explain it to them when I was questioning it myself. I needed someone who understood why I chose what I did, and who could explain it back to me. Someone who could tell me that what had happened wasn't entirely my fault. I knew I'd made mistakes, and that I should have been more careful with who I allowed to have that level of control over me, so a good portion of the blame rested on me. But surely it couldn't be entirely mine, right?

I stared at the man who was to be my new counselor. If the feeling I was getting from this man was correct, I wasn't going to get any of that here. If anything, I was pretty sure I'd get the exact same thing I'd received every other place. The same confused looks, the same look of revulsion that each of them tried to conceal, the same awkward parting. No one seemed to know how to handle my situation. 

I looked over at Tyler to find him studying me. "What are you thinking about?"

My instant response was to tell him what I usually told everyone, "Nothing." Instead, I forced myself to tell him the truth. Even if I had bad initial feelings about how it would go, I was willing to give it a chance. None of my endeavors would ever be successful if I wasn't willing to do that. "I'm worrying about how the session will go."

He laughed, and the sound grated on my nerves. It was discomforting to have him laughing at my entirely real feelings, but I brushed it aside. He probably didn't mean it in a negative way, and was probably trying to put me at ease. 

I watched him lean over and press a button, starting the recording. "Let's get started. Would you care to explain to me what happened to you?" He asked.

"Haven't you heard it already?" I asked. Most people had, and I'd be genuinely surprised if he had managed to avoid all of it. 

He let out a long sigh, and ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, I've already heard it. I simply want to hear what you think of it," he explained, as though he were talking to a child. 

I furrowed my brow, and bit my lip. I didn't really want to explain it to him. The very idea made me incredibly uncomfortable. "I'm... I don't know if I'm comfortable trying to explain it all yet," I said honestly. 

"Really? Because if we can't even talk about what happened, we're going to get nowhere with any of this." He sighed again, an agitated look crossing his face. 

I frowned. He was being rather rude about all of it, if I was honest. I took a deep breath, and tried to calm myself. I'm sure that it was just my interpretation of things that made it seem this way. As long as I tried to understand his point of view then perhaps things would work out. 

"I... there's not much to say other than what you already know. I went on willingly, I was naive, and he took advantage of that. I didn't understand everything that was going on, and as such, he did things to me that I very strongly disliked. I didn't understand the fact that I could say no, regardless of the situation I'd placed myself in. He kept me in a cage, and things got bad. He brought people in who did... awful things..." My voice drifted off, and my throat constricted in that uncomfortable way. I took a deep, calming breath. I wasn't going to cry. 

"Is that it?" He asked in a bored voice.

I blinked twice. 

"Yes. That's it," I whispered.

"Well, if that's all you have to say, we can be done for today. I don't think we're going to get much else done. For now, I'll prescribe you some anxiety medication."

I nodded, a sinking feeling in my stomach. "What... which medication are you prescribing me?"

He gave me a look, a condescending smile on his face. 

"Don't worry. You'll still be you."

"Oh no, that's not-" I began, but he cut me off. 

"You'll be fine. Come on, my secretary has already sent ahead for it at the pharmacy. I just need to sign the paper." 

He strode out past me and back into the lobby, leaving me with no choice but to follow him. 

He held a slip of paper out to me. "There's a pharmacy around the corner. I'll see you next week for your appointment."

And with that, he left. There was a twinge in my chest. This was just exactly like what my old Master would do to me. He'd make decisions, and never take into consideration the fact that I might have something pertinent to say. The thought settled into my mind, and my stomach twisted itself into knots. 

Things felt very, very wrong. I turned to his secretary, and she gave me an apologetic smile. "He can get very frustrated quite easily, and I know he's upset because we're behind on paperwork. The other guy that usually helps out with it took a vacation this week, so we're struggling to stay on top of it. I know that's not much of an excuse, but it might explain a bit of his mood. And he's rather abrupt to begin with so..."

I nodded, and looked at the slip of paper in my hand. I read the name of the medication, and winced. I'd taken it before, and the side effects had been miserable. I couldn't function due to exhaustion and dizziness. I looked up, about to ask her if there was any way I could change it, but the phone rang, and she gave me a smile that definitely screamed "goodbye."




Finally Mine 04



I smiled back, a little bit hesitant. I wasn't willing to take this medication, and it was only a week until I came back in. I'd be fine until then, I was sure. I turned, and started to make my way out of the office.

When I got to the door, it flung open, and nearly hit me. I let out a startled gasp, my hand fluttering to my racing heart. 

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" A deep voice said, genuine concern in it. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. You just startled me a bit." I looked up, and nearly melted. 

My God... this man was attractive. 

I blinked a few times, and gave him a small smile. "I should be... on my way."

"Yes, of course," he said, still blocking the doorway. His eyes were on me, and I started to feel a bit unsure of myself. My arms wrapped nervously around my midsection, as they often did when I was unsure of myself, and I watched as his eyes followed the movement. 

"May I... get past you?"

"Oh, of course Miss. Very sorry. I hope you have a lovely day."

He stepped to the side, a faint blush coloring his cheeks as he did so. "You too," I said genuinely, stepping past him and through the door. 

I couldn't help but wonder who he was, even though it was foolish. My mind continually drifted back to him on my way home. He was the first man I'd met in a while who didn't remind me of my old Master, which was refreshing. 

I sighed, and pushed him out of my mind. I didn't need to spend my time thinking about men. I needed to focus on getting better and making sure I was stable, not daydreaming. 

I got home, and threw the prescription into the trash. I was never going to use it anyway, so there was no use holding onto it. 

I began my ritual of checking every room, closet, nook and cranny in the apartment once I'd thrown it away. It was rather time consuming, but I couldn't relax at all until I had done it at least once. With how stressed I was feeling right now, I knew I'd have to do it at least twice, probably more. I resigned myself to that fact, and began the second search right after the first. 

Once I finished it, I settled into a chair in the living room. It faced the door, while still giving me a good view of the window. That fact was comforting, and I settled in to take a nap.

It took me a long while to fall asleep, and once I finally did, it was a sleep plagued by nightmares. The same nightmares I had been having since all of this began.