1 comments/ 25455 views/ 4 favorites Diary of a Submissive Ch. 01 By: MidnightSun I wasn't ready when he came home. I should have been, but I wasn't. Instead I was outside smoking. I didn't need to shave; my pussy is still bald from shaving yesterday. I should have known he would remember I did that yesterday. If I had needed to shave and he knew that he would have taken the long way home. All I had to do was make sure the toys were clean and by the bed and get ready for him. Getting ready for him only takes a few minutes. All I have to do is put the leg straps on, forcing myself to stretch spread eagle, naked, in bed, turn the vibrator on and put it between my legs so it teases me, blindfold myself, put the two different gags by my head (scarf and ball gag) reach up and stretch to the hand straps that he has adjusted so I can slip into them and not out of them, and wait for my master to come home. But, I didn't. I should have known he called from only a few blocks away. So, I was punished. He put me into the shackles, pulling them further apart so I had to stretch out more then usual. He blind folded me and used the ball gag I can't moan around. He put the vibrator on high and left it there to tease me, just close enough so I can barely feel it. He left me there, on the bed like that, with nothing to cover me, not able to move, moan or groan, with the vibrator teasing me. I don't know if he left the room or just watched me. Well, I do know that he left the room at some point because I heard him take a long shower after work. When he came out of the shower, I guess he thought I forgot about the vibrator because he slammed it into me then pulled it right back out and replaced it where it was , teasing me. "Look at the little whore who doesn't listen to Master now. You have no choice but to listen now, do you?" With the ball gag in I can't answer around it, so I don't even try, I don't even shake my head. "Master asked his little bitch a question, answer it, damn it. You have no choice but to listen to Master now, do you, Slut?" I try to say no, but when I do, the gag just goes deeper into my mouth, so I just shake my head no. "That's right. I told you to be waiting for me, ready, but you weren't. You must have forgotten who your master is. I guess you forgot whose little whore you are." He comes up to me and spanks my pussy. Then he takes the bottle of lube and soaks my pussy with it, inside and out. He takes the jackrabbit, you know the toy with the cock that spins and the vibrating rabbit that stays on your clit, and covers it with lube also. He shoves the cock deep inside me and turns it on and leaves it there. "You better keep that in there. I don't want to see that cock out of your pussy, you little bitch." The lube made it hard to hold onto. Because I knew he was watching (I felt the direction it was spinning change, so I know he pressed the button) I used my pussy muscles to push it out. He pulls my hair with one hand and shoves the massive fake cock back into me with the other hand. "I told you to keep that in your pussy, Slut." He pinches my nipples with the hand he used to shove the toy back in while still holding my hair. "Now, do as you're told and fucking keep it there. Don't you dare come yet, either, Whore. (I push it out again) You little fucking whore." He spanks my pussy again. Allen reaches up to undo the hand straps. He moves the leg straps so I am kneeling and they are around my leg between my ankle and knee with my legs spread. He then binds my wrists in front of me, so close to my throbbing, lubed pussy I can touch it. I start playing with myself, which he notices, and he takes my wrists and straps them to the bed in front of me, so I am sort of on all fours but my arms are straight, my chest is against the bed and my legs are spread, my ass high in the air. He stands behind me and slams into me. "Your pussy likes Master's cock huh, bitch?" He slaps my ass each time he retracts his thrusts. He replaces the ball gag with a scarf and continues thrusting. I moan something through the gag. He pulls my hair so my head is forced up. "What's that Whore? You want Master to fuck you harder? (I mumble again) Oh, you want me to slam your pussy faster then? Who are you to be making demands? You're a slut who doesn't know when to listen. You're lucky I'm even fucking you at all. So, you're going to take it how I give it to you little fucking whore. (I mumble Yes Master) Shut up bitch!" I moan again as I come. Allen pulls out of me and kneels by my waist. He pulls my hair again so I'm forced to pick my head up. He starts spanking me. "Did I say you could come, Bitch? (I don't answer) Fucking answer me. (He yanks my head back more) Did I tell you to come?" The spanking stops. "No, Master," I mumble through the gag. "So now you think you can come before I tell you to? Is that it? You think you're in charge? You know what? You're not in charge, I am. You know what else? You can say good bye to coming again tonight, Whore. (He takes the gag out) Now, do as you're told and fucking suck my cock." He takes a fistful of my hair and pulls me up so my elbows are bent and my knees are straight and forces me to start sucking him off. He keeps one fist in my hair controlling my head and the other hand on my ass, occasionally slapping it. "That's it, Bitch, suck it all. Fucking Whore, drink all my come." I feel his release in the back of my throat. He undoes my restraints and I get off the bed to get dressed to go out with him. Diary of a Submissive Ch. 02 Last night was another hot and steamy night! Allen and I have such a great sex life! Never get bored, and I am always satisfied which is more then I can say about a lot of other people's sex lives. One day, I would love to bring another girl into the mix, but until I find one I trust enough and one I think is hot enough, Allen and I will play by ourselves. On the outside we are like any other married couple, Allen has a well paying job that gets him out of the house, and I own a wedding cake bakery. We enjoy sports, both play video games (role playing mostly, big surprise there, lol), and enjoy hanging out with friends, but in the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room, when the lights are out, it's a different story. ;) Last night was no different. It all started when I got out of a bubble bath and put on one of Allen's favorite nighties, the one with the black lace over my chest and then sheer black the rest of the way that is split down the middle of the front. I went into the bedroom to put some moisturizer on my legs before I came onto him. Well, he was standing in the doorway to the bedroom and offered to help put some on my back. When I laid down on the bed, he gave me the most incredible massage! Neck, shoulders, arms, back, butt, legs, feet, the whole nine yards. He then asked me to flip over and he worked on my front. Collar bone, arms, hands, breasts, lingering on my tummy, legs, everything. (When I flipped over, he took my nighty off) By this time I was in heaven. He came up and gave me the sweetest, most gentle, loving kiss. He kissed his way to my ear and whispered for me to just lay back and enjoy it. Not being one to argue (lol) and being in the capable hands of my Master, I did as I was told. Boy was I glad I did! He nibbled down my neck and trailed kisses to my left nipple, knowing my left side is more sensitive. He suckled there for quite a while, or so it felt. He then moved to my right side and made the little bud at the end of my breasts come alive. No one has ever made my breasts feel this way! He moved to my tummy. He is a tummy man, no doubt about that, he has even told me so. He kissed and stroked and nibbled like his life depended on it! It even tickled a little bit, but it still felt great! To heighten my sensation, he came back up and kissed me while he put a blind fold on me. I guess he sucked on an ice cube off and on here, because when his mouth came back to my body, it was cold and felt heavenly! He teased my nipples with his cold mouth, then, when his mouth warmed up, he closed his lips around my breast. The cold then hot felt incredible!! With the blind fold on, I had no idea what was next, and since Allen almost never goes down on me (my only complaint about our sex life, since I love to give him head), the next few things he did took me by complete surprise! First he started by just gently playing with me while sucking my nipples. I had no idea which sensation to pay attention to. He took me right to the edge. Then he took one of the ice cubes he had been using to make his mouth cold and started rubbing my lips and clit with it and, I'm guessing, watching my reaction. When I thought I wouldn't be able to stand it anymore, he went down! As soon as he took away the cold from the ice, the warmth from his mouth replaced it. Oh My God!! The combination of cold and warmth made me putty in his hands. He came back up to kiss me and pulled my hair, our little "signal" that he is done with the romance and it's time to get down to business, so to speak. I have said before, I'm a natural submissive in bed, but that doesn't mean I always listen to Master! ;) The fact that he knows how much pain I can stand and knows where to draw the line is part of what causes me to trust him completely. As with any D/s relationship, trust is a major factor, and part of what makes a relationship like ours work. I trust him with my life. I am still wearing the blind fold at this point and he still has his boxers on. He pulls me up by the hair onto all fours and tells me to take off his boxers without touching his cock. Being the naughty girl I am, I stroke him, which earns me a spanking, but it was worth it! He presses the tip of his cock against my closed lips, and when I don't open my mouth, he grabs a fistful of my hair, leans down, and through clenched teeth asks if I want to be fucked tonight. I answer, "Yes, Master, your Slave Whore wants to be fucked by your massive cock." A typical Master/slave response from me. "Good, then suck it like a good bitch." I do. He controls my movements by holding my hair. I take him so deep into the back of my throat I gag. He loves that! And I love giving head, lol. He pulls himself out of my mouth and tells me to stand. He tries to French kiss me, but I refuse. He presses his huge erection against my thigh and slaps my ass while grabbing it and pulls my hair to make me face him so if I was not blindfolded I would be looking at him. Again the question, phrased differently (there are many different ways to ask someone if she wants to be fucked) "Don't you want that (he thrusts his dick against my thigh to make sure I know what "that" is) inside you, Whore?" This time I don't answer. He pushes me over to the bedroom door and takes the ends of the scarf that's hanging on the coat hook that's hung on the back of the bedroom door. He uses the scarf to tie my wrists so my hands are above my head and I am forced to stretch out; did I mention that I am facing the door? This gives him perfect access to my ass. I am still blindfolded, too, so I had to feel my way to the door, by the way. By not answering the question, I made Master angry and received another spanking, only with the paddle this time. He pulled my hair back and asked again, "Does little Slave Girl want Master's cock to fuck her brains out?" Again I don't answer. Another paddling. While pinching my left nipple, again because he knows my left side is more sensitive, and pulling my hair to tilt my head back, he asks from behind me, "Isn't your ass sore enough, Whore, because it's really red? I'll ask you one more time. Do you want me to fuck you so hard it hurts, Bitch?" "Yes, Master, your little sex slave wants your strong, thick, massive, hard cock to fuck me so hard it hurts. Please, Master." He has me take a step back and slips between me and the door. He pulls the blind fold up slightly so I can look at him. He reaches around. Slap, slap, slap, ten times with his open hand. He pinches both nipples and grits out, "I don't believe you. Beg for it like a good little Bitch." I look him in the eyes. "Please, Mast..." "Shut up, Whore," he cute me off and yanks my hair, "did I tell you that you could look at me?" "No, Master, I'm sorry." "Don't let it happen again." To ensure that it doesn't happen again, he pulls the blind fold back down. "Yes, Master, I'm sorry. Please fuck me. I want to feel your hard cock pulsing inside me. I want it so bad, pleaseeeee, Master; let me feel your cock moving in and out of my hot, wet, tight pussy. Please, Master, fuck me. Please fuck your little slave, Please, Master..." with a groan he cut me off with a kiss. "That's all I wanted before I fucked you, Whore, now don't say another word while I fuck your brains out." "Yes, Master." "I told you not to say anything. You can't even follow simple instructions; open your cock holster, NOW." I open my mouth and he uses another scarf to gag me. He also unties my wrists and makes me feel my way back to the bed. When I get there, he shoves me onto my hands and knees. "I believe I owe you a spanking for talking when I told you not to." He starts slapping and I whimper through the gag. "I was only going to give you five, but now, since you disobeyed again, you deserve five more." So I get five more. By this time I am ready to come again, and I almost beg again through the gag. Before I could, though, Allen grabs my shoulder with one hand for leverage and shoves his entire cock into me. No, not shoves, slams. I immediately come. He pulls my head back by the knot in the back of the gag and puts his other hand around my throat and applies just enough pressure to restrict my air a little. "Did I say you could come, Whore?" I shake my head no as best as I can with him holding on. He takes his hand off my throat and pinches and twists my left nipple. "You better be able to come when I tell you to." To show he means business, he pulls me off my hands by the knot from the gag that is positioned at the back of my head (now you know why we use a scarf as a gag, bigger knot to grab) and reaches around to pinch my swollen, throbbing clit. He shoves me back down to all fours again. For the next few minutes, the only noises are those of him banging me from behind and the occasional slap on my ass when the redness goes down. His hands roam from my ass to my hips, to my waist, to my breasts, to my throat, hair and the knot on the gag. Then, the command I have been waiting for. He takes the gag out of my mouth and tells me to beg for him to let me come. "Please, Master, let your little whore come, please, I need to come now. Please, I want to come so bad. I want to show you the power you hold over me. Please let me come around your cock, Master, let me squeeze it while I pulsate from coming. Please, Master, let me show you that you have control of my pussy, that only you can make me come, Please, Master, pleaseeeee, let me come." "Okay, come, Bitch." And I do. I come around him hard and fast. Even harder then I did when he went down on me. When I finish, he pulls out and stands at the end of the bed, in front of my face. He takes the blindfold off and tells me to suck him again. "Suck all your pussy juice off my cock. That's a good slave." I suck him off as long as he wants me to, I love giving him head. "Now, beg me to come, Bitch. Make me believe you want my come all over your face." I slowly stroke him while I beg, "Please, Master, I want your come all over my face. I want it in my mouth so bad I can already taste it, please, Master." "Why should I let you? You have been such a naughty little whore. Why shouldn't I just go finish by myself?" "Please, Master, I promise I will be good next time. Please, Master, I want to feel your warm come all over my face. Pleaseeee Masterrr." "Are you going to swallow every single drop that gets into your mouth like a good girl?" "Yes, Master. Please, I want to taste your come. I want to feel it all over my face. Please, Master. Please come." On that final plea, he starts jerking off in front of my face. Within seconds, I feel his hot steamy come on my face. Some does get in my mouth, and I swallow it, as I promised. As he is finishing up, I close my mouth around him and suck the last few drops out. While I clean up, he dumps out the water from the long forgotten, now melted ice. We cuddle in bed, naked, together, in each other's arms, and tell each other how much we love one another. What a night! People who know us would never guess what our sex life is like, lol. He satisfies me so much, and considers it a bad night if he doesn't make me get off at least twice. I really should find a club around here where I can flirt with another woman and possibly hook up, lol that turns Allen on soooooooooooo much seeing me hit on and hook up with other women, even though I have only done it once since we have been married, lol. Who knows, maybe I will find a nice one to take to bed with us. Diary of a Submissive Ch. 03 After a long, hard day working in a wedding cake bakery, there is nothing I like more then relaxing in a nice hot bubble bath. I got home today to find that was not possible. Allen had an early court appearance today and came home right after, so, when I got home, he was waiting for me. "Hi, you're home early. Good day?" I greeted him as I threw my keys on the hallway end table and took off my shoes. "Decent," was all he said in reply. "How was your day?" he asked as he crooked his finger signifying that he wanted me at his feet while he sat on the couch and watched SportsMiddle on EXPN. "It was OK. I had two deliveries and my idiot assistant knocked over a sculpture for the Smith wedding, setting me back a day, so I have to go in tomorrow to redo it so it is ready for the wedding on Saturday," I answer while taking my place, kneeling at his feet. "You really should fire him. There is any number of aspiring bakers who would love to work for you." "I don't know, Sir, I really should, but, I really can't afford anyone else. Besides, who else knows my business as well, you excluded, of course, Sir. And who else works as well with chocolate?" "True. Why don't you go get ready for tonight, Young One?" Again, he reminded me that he was 35 compared to my 25. In the span of that extra ten years, he has become a very powerful defense attorney. He has perfected his skills in not only arguing cases in front of a judge and jury, but also learning to become a compassionate Master, with any number of submissive women lining up to be on the receiving end of his paddle. His 9 ½ inch rod doesn't hurt either. "Yes, Master." I said as I rose to do as he said. "Make sure to wear your ring, Young One." "Yes, Sir," I go into the bathroom to do as Master told me. I think about the night we first met, the night that started it all, as I take a quick shower and get ready for whatever Master has planned for that evening. He took my under his wing four years ago when I was fresh out of college and struggling to open my own bakery. I had gone into the local S&M club alone one night for a drink. I always had an interest in bondage, domination and punishment, but had never been with a man I trusted enough to act on the desire, I had been trained well by another submissive friend of mine, but I had never had a true Master or Mistress. I met Allen that first night. He saved me from torment at the club for being the only submissive there alone. He noticed right away I was a sub from the right handed thumb ring I wear that says "Slave" in silver letters. He also saw me standing outside in front of the club alone, something unheard of for a sub in our local club; only Masters and Mistresses are allowed to be alone near this club. Allen came up to me and offered to pretend to be my Master for the night, and I agreed. We started talking over a few drinks and, now, four years later, he is my legal husband, business partner, and Master. After the shower, I towel dry and get ready. I see that Master has laid out what he would like me to wear for the evening. I carefully go into my jewelry box and put on my "Slave" ring, which has been resized and now fits my left ring finger and occasionally replaces my wedding band, and get dressed. I carefully put on the crotchless red lace thong with matching red lace bra and garter belt; red is Master's favorite color on me. Then I gently pull on the thigh high stockings that are the same scarlet red as the rest of the set and attach them to the clips on the garter. I finish the outfit with the red chiffon short robe. On my way back to the living room I grab the ring box that contains Allen's ring. I approach in front of him and kneel at his feet and offer the box. He removes his silver "Master" ring that matches my "Slave" one and replaces his wedding band with it, and then he gingerly lays his gold band in the box, which he places on the counter behind him. With my hands now empty, I spread my knees slightly and kneel on my hands looking at Master's feet. "OK, Young One, stand, I have a present for you." I stand in front of him waiting for whatever he is going to give me. He reaches over and begins to fondle my breasts over the thin fabric of the robe and bra. When my nipples reach their full potential, he reaches under all the fabric and gives them a hard pinch, followed by a quick suck to be sure they are fully hard, then he applies my present, new nipple clamps. Since Allen has never used nipple clamps on me before, I silently wondered where tonight is going to go when he lifted my chin and looked into my eyes, "Remember, Young One, if tonight's events are too much for you and you would like it all stopped, what do you do?" "I say the word 'grass,' Master, and everything stops and is never mentioned again, Sir." "Very good, Young One, you have never used the safe word, so I was thinking you forgot it. But, now I see you have not. Remember, whatever happens, even if you want it all stopped, I love and respect you, Christine, and I always will, remember that." Since he used my first name during this sincere moment, I knew it was OK to use his, he was speaking husband to wife, not Master to submissive. "I will always remember that. I love and respect you as well, Allen." After connecting the chain between the two clamps and removing my bra, leaving me with only the transparent fabric of the robe to cover my chest, Allen pushed me down onto my knees again in front of him. "We have a big night ahead of us, little girl, so why don't you open your mouth and let Master fuck it before we start so I can last longer and be ready for tonight." With my eyes downcast, I reply, "Yes, Master, if you wish it, then as you ask shall be done, Sir." I open my mouth and grab his ass for leverage. As I take his cock into my mouth, I can feel him growing larger with every stroke from my lips and tongue. I use my tongue to circle his ultra-sensitive head. I pull him deep into my mouth with every pump from his hips. He grabbed my hair with his hands and matched the thrusting of his hips with the movements of my head. Suddenly, he let out a fierce guttural moan as he exploded deep within my throat. As if on cue, his blonde secretary from work entered in an outfit matching my own, her blue eyes wide. I am still not sure what amazed her more, the size of Master's massive cock or the fact that I could swallow it all. I know Master has never fooled around with Lisa. He has often told me he would like to, but he would never do that behind my back. She just stood behind him as he pulled me to my feet by the wrists. "Hello, Mr. Johnson," she said, kissing him soundly on the mouth after he let go of my wrists. "Christine," she nodded to me as she slapped my rear. "I have spoken to Lisa and asked her to come over to play. But, you see, Young One, she has only had experience as the dominate one in her past relationships; she has even had 2 collared subs, a man and a woman. She, like you, though, is a submissive by nature. So, after tonight, she is to become your personal assistant, both at work and here at home. She will not be with us all the time, just when I would like to see how her training is going. This arrangement will also allow you to fire the incompetent fool you have working for you now. "I have a reputation to uphold for having well-trained submissives. But, for tonight, she will enjoy one last night in charge. In part to show her how a submissive should behave and the punishment for not doing what you are told, which you will receive, Young One, for grabbing my ass withough permission to do so, and also to get over the rest of the dominance she has inside of her. Do well in maintaining my reputation for having well-trained submissives, Christine, and you might even earn your collar. I expect you to be fair but hard on her at the same time; do not tolerate misbehaving, just as I do not. Do you understand, Young One?" "Yes, Master." "Do you have any questions, Young One?" "No, Sir." On that the conversation ended and the fun began. Lisa led me over to the bedroom door where she removed my robe and cuffed my hands to the doorframe above my head and my ankles to the bottom of the frame, spread of course. "Now, for your punishment, Young One," Master said as he walked over to me with a blind fold in his hand. He tied the blind fold around my head and gagged me. He turned around and picked up his flogger. "Lisa, this is what will happen if you disobey me while in my service, Little One." He let loose with the flogger, turning my ass a nice shade of pink. He is the most talented man I have ever met with a flogger. Just that punishment was enough to get me very close to orgasm! "Do you understand, Lisa, what will happen to you if you misbehave after tonight?" "Yes, Allen, I do." "Good. Remove her gag and blind fold and lets have some fun now, and by the way, I know she is very close to orgasm, so be careful." "I have wanted to do this ever since I saw you at the firm's picnic last year," she said as she removed the nipple clamps and started sucking and biting my now very sensitive nipples. She came up to kiss me and whispered, "I've wanted to do this, too." She got down on her knees between my legs and went to town. She started with little licks, then a nibble, and, soon, she was circling my clit with her tongue, sucking on it, bringing me closer and closer. Allen came up behind me and cupped my breast with one hand, running the flogger in his other hand up and down my back. As Lisa slipped a finger into my soaking wet slit, Master began using the flogger on my ass. "Please, Master, let me cum, please?" I cried. "Not me you have to ask, it's Mistress Lisa." I pondered that a moment, as he flogged my ass, turning it bright red and I got closer to orgasm. How weird would it be for me to ask permission from the woman who would be my personal assistant and trainee in the morning? But, if I was going to orgasm tonight, I was going to have to ask her. "Please, Mistress, please let me cum. I want to cum so bad. Please, Mistress, oh gosh, pleaseeee," I begged. Lisa looked up at me, "If I allow you to orgasm, will you repay the favor in the same way?" "Oh, gosh, yes, Mistress, I will do anything you want, just please Mistress, please allow me to cum, please, pleaseeee." "Well, then, cum." On the word from Lisa, the flood gates opened and I orgasmed, squeezing her finger as uncontrollable contractions seized my pussy. When I was finished, Lisa untied me and led me to the bed. She took off her robe and bra and got on all fours on the edge of the bed. Master and I both must have read her mind; either that or they had discussed it beforehand so he knew what was going to happen. Whichever one it was, he knew what she wanted. He stepped to the edge of the bed while I climbed up. I heard her gag as she tried to take the entire length of him in her mouth. As I started to circle her pronounced clit with my tongue, Master was grabbing her hair to show her exactly how he liked to be sucked. I slipped two fingers into her sopping wet cunt and felt her tighten around them. It was time to make her orgasm. As I started pumping my fingers into her pussy faster, I moaned out, "Cum for me, Mistress Lisa, let me taste you while you cum." I had been paying so much attention to her pussy that I didn't realize that Master had moved onto the bed until I felt him slip into me. Nothing turns him on quite like the sight of me eating pussy. "You cum with her my little cum slut." As I mumbled, "Yes, Sir," into her pussy, I felt her clamp down on my fingers as a raging orgasm ran thru us both. I kissed her, tasting my own juices still on her breath, while Master continued to fuck me. "Now, my Little Lisa, come up here while Christine shows you the proper way to suck cock." I saw the pride in his eyes and felt a little of my own as I gladly took his cock deep into the back of my throat as only I am able to while Lisa and I fingered one another's still hungry pussies. As I felt his head swell the way it does right before he cums, he pulled out of my mouth and slowly began to jerk off. "I want to see you both wear it. I want to see you kiss as I cum all over your mouths. I want to see my two whores share my cum while making each other cum." It didn't take long after that. As soon as our tongues met outside our mouths and we fingered each other to another orgasm, our mouths were covered with Master's juice. After a final suck from both of us, Lisa and I kissed to share the last of his cum. As Master cuddled with me, soothing me after being rocked by several powerful orgasms, Lisa surprised us both as she got dressed to leave. She told us she always dreamed of making wedding cakes and she was working as a legal secretary to pay her way thru cooking school. "I think we will have tons of fun, Sir Allen. I can't wait to start learning under Christine's wing, both with baking and serving you well as a submissive. What time do I start in the morning, Boss Lady?" As Master continued to sooth my still shaking body, I managed to answer, "9 A.M. I need to fire someone first." "See you then." With that she turned and walked out the door. "What do you think, Love?" Allen asked me after she had gone. "I think I have a lot of work ahead of me. Lets see how much she likes me and how much fun she is having after her first full day with me." Diary of a Submissive Ch. 04 My Dear Diary, the one I can disclose all my feelings to, the one place I can pour my heart out without fear of judgment. I must confess something to you. I am at a loss of how to comfort my subbie-sister. I know if I have ever experienced what she is going through, I would be inconsolable. Tiffany and her Master have always said they want children. When He announced her pregnancy last September, everyone was so happy for them. Then, three days later, I got a phone call that she had lost the pregnancy. Allen took her Master out for a drink, to give Him an opportunity to vent His feelings out about the loss. Leaving Tiffany and myself alone to discuss how she was feeling about it. Over a glass of wine, ok, a bottle of wine, she told me how devastating this was to them both. How her Master had cried sat her bedside in the emergency room, and how she was not sure how to comfort Him. A few months later, they got the news that they were expecting again. This time, as she progressed further into her pregnancy, everything was fine. She confided in me that this child was conceived in bondage. Her Master had her cuffed to the web, backside up, and was tugging on her clamped nipples when He lost control and filled her. He had been planning to cover her ass with His cum. But, like most men, no matter how skilled, when she orgasmed around Him, He lost control. And the child they were now expecting was conceived that night. They only told a few close friends from the club that they were expecting again. She felt that she could not handle it again if they told everyone and then had to tell them that something happened. Her Master agreed, for her sanity and mental well being, He sacrificed His position as a trusted member of the club for her by keeping this secret. As time went on, some people asked where they were. It was a full year since the last time they were seen at any social outing. We subbies missed our friend and our Paddle Master at the club, and the other Dom/mes noticed His absence as well. Lisa and I were designing the cake for Tiffany's baby shower, which was when she had decided to tell everyone of the pregnancy. Then, the phone rang. When I answered it, Allen was on the line. I knew from His voice something was wrong. I sat on the stool by the phone while I waited for Him to give me whatever news it was. Lisa, seeing my face and how quickly I sat, came over and got on her knees in front of me with her head on my lap. I absently began to stroke her hair as I waited for Allen to begin speaking again. "Hun, can Lisa watch everything there? I need you to come to the hospital, it's Tiffany. Matt isn't doing too well, so I am going to take him to get something to eat, but he does not want her left here without someone with her. Please, Babe?" His call was from a husband to His wife, His best friend, His lover, and I knew something was wrong. I knew He was on His cell in the car, alone, yet He did not call Tiffany's Master Sir Matt, just Matt. He was using first names, and asking. I could hear not only worry and fear in His voice, but relief that I was there and a love only a brother can feel for His ailing sister, as that is what Tiffany is to Him, His sister, the only remaining family for either of them. "Yes, Allen, of course, Lisa and I will close up here and both of us will be there in twenty minutes?" "I am on my way to pick both of you up, then. I can help get everything cleaned up and closed. Three people can do it faster then two. Christine.... I love you." "I love You, too. I will see You in a few minutes then." When I hung up the phone, I looked down at Lisa, head still in my lap. She had no idea what the conversation had been about. All she knew was it was something big since we were closing early. I told her that Allen had not informed me exactly what was going on, but that He sounded very worried about both Tiffany and Sir Matt. We started to clean up and were ready to go by the time Allen arrived. Lisa locked up while I walked to the car. When I got there, Allen looked me in the eyes and after a brief moment of contact, mine dropped to His shoes. He whispered in my ear, "I will forgive that transgression for now because of your concern for My sister." I nodded. Lisa joined us and we all got into the car. The next few hours and days went by in a blur. Tiffany had gone to an appointment to be sure the baby was ok and there was no heart beat. She had immediate surgery that night to deliver the baby. Allen's niece was born, but she was born still. Tiffany blamed herself; Sir Matt tried to tell Himself that it was because He had left her alone so often during the pregnancy. No one knows what happened. That night, Allen and I discussed our own future and wants for a family. And, sitting on the back porch of our home, over chilled glasses of Merlot, for the first time in a long time, He cried to me. He told me how unfair it was that His sister and her Husband, who want children and deserve them and would love and cherish them, have been visited by misfortune, much as we had, and that there were so many people out there who do not deserve the children they have, and they are out there, starving, freezing, and addicted to drugs, yet two couples who want children more then anything, who would love and cherish more children, have been exposed to so much heart ache and tragedy. I knew this experience with Tiffany would bring back the memories of our own children we have lost, of His little girls. I was prepared to go through the grief with him again. I was not ready for the questions and the guilt He was feeling, and I felt that as His wife, I should have known how He was feeling. "Chris, do you think we are being punished? Do you think that we have all been subjected to all of this because of something we have done? Do you think that, if we were a vanilla couple, and did not do things the way we do, we would not have gone through what we have? I guess what I am asking, Christine, is, do you want to give up the life and become a vanilla couple? If you feel that we are being exposed to this pain because someone up there thinks we live a life that puts our selves and any children at risk, I will give it all up. If you want to live a normal life, all you have to do is say so and we will walk away from it all, hand in hand." I got on my knees in front of Him and took His hands into mine. After kissing one then the other, I looked at Him, with tears in my eyes, and told Him how much I love Him. Then, after a moment of silence, "Allen, why would You think that? I know what it seems like right now, but this has nothing to do with our lifestyle. You and I love each other, respect each other. We honor one another's limits, and each one knows what the other likes. How does that differ from any vanilla couple? The fact that we both tend to hide the relationship has been bothering me for some time. We are not being punished because of our private life. We are two consenting, healthy, professional adults. I love You and would not ever trade my life with You. I know You would walk away without looking back at the life if I asked and felt it was needed, but I never asked because I didn't feel that way." "I am glad you know that if you asked, I would walk away. But, would you be comfortable if we were to not hide the relationship anymore? Not necessarily make it a public announcement, but not hide it when we are around our vanilla friends?" I bow my head and snap back into the dutiful submissive role that I have filled for Allen for all these years. It comes naturally to me and it felt like He had stabbed me in the heart when He asked if I wanted to give it up. I do not feel I would ever be able to completely give it up, even if we mutually decided to walk away from the life and the club. "Yes, Sir, I would be comfortable. I would be overjoyed and proud to appear before Your friends as I truly am and truly feel I belong, as Your equal, but an equal who trusts You enough to know that You will always have my best interests in your heart and mind. Whatever You feel comfortable with revealing to Your friends and partners at work, I will trust You to decide. I do not, however, think it would be wise right now to reveal Lisa and her involvement in our home, Sir." "I agree with you in that regard, Bright Eyes. I do apologize for the hurt I saw in your eyes when I suggested giving it all up. I have a gift for you, Young One. Close your eyes and turn your face to the sky." As I did as He asked, He took a thin silver and gold band from behind Him and slipped it around my neck. With a *click* it closed and locked. Allen then got off his chair and on his knees in front of me. He kissed me and motioned for me to stand, in a symbolic reversal of roles for the promise He was about to make to me. "This is small enough that those who do not know our life, will think nothing of it, but those we trust will know what it means. I love you, Bright Eyes, and always will. I hope I can live up to the standards set for Me and be deserving of your love and submission. You have given Me more joy, love, respect, pride, and honor then I could have ever asked for. From the first day we met in the club and you were confused and lonely, I knew I had found the woman for Me. I love you more then you will ever know, and I will always be there for you, no matter what." When he made the move to stand, I reached for His hand to assist Him. When He stood up, I again kissed each of His hands, got on my knees in front of Him, and kissed each foot, then stood again and, while looking anywhere but His face, I said, "Thank you, Master." "Now, go in and prepare something. We will be having some guests tomorrow, two of the other partners and their spouses will be here." And with that, He began making phone calls to be sure His sister and Sir Matt were both alright as well as to tell Sir Matt the outcome of tonight's conversation. From what I could hear through the open kitchen window, Master had planned this evening from the beginning, even though I threw in a curve ball to Him in requesting we do not hide it anymore. As I began a cake baking, I took several thick steaks out of the freezer to defrost and set in a marinade for the night so Master could grill them for dinner the next day. © 2007 MidnightSun