0 comments/ 5780 views/ 1 favorites Confusion By: arbenitre You tell me it's confusing for you. You don't understand. What could be less confusing? Your body reacts. You have feelings and needs and thoughts and desires unexplored before now. How have you gone so long without knowing? Only to awaken one day and find yourself bewildered. You don't want and can't see yourself enjoying being tied to the bed and made to suffer whatever torment I will give you today. You've never had to beg or wanted to scream for more. Every other guy was so willing to do whatever you thought you wanted. But I know. When I take my tie off and run it through my hands, your panties will be soaked by the time I reach for them. If I've told you not to wear any, there will be a wet spot wherever you are sitting. Your body knows what it wants, even if you don't. Your mind doesn't want to be one of "those women". One of those people who are kinky and strange. Getting kicks from depravity and bizarre practices and fetishes. You don't want to, but your body does. Oh, how it reacts. Not just the wetness, but the shaking and the incredible orgasms. The heights you've never before reached. How confusing for you. At least that's what you tell me. For me, it's easy to see. You like it. You love to be tied and just a little frightened. A little edge. Enough to sharpen your senses and make you feel more acutely. Adrenalin. Sex is about hormones dumping into the blood and making it rage. It's about loss of control and otherworldly pleasures and emotions. Definitely emotions. And confusion is one of those. Need, lust, desire, hope, despair, joy, fear, all of them at once and together for you. Will I bind your hands with my necktie? Immobilize them while I take your breasts in my hands and push my cock in your mouth? Will I leave your hands free and strap your legs wide? Make you finger your clit and yank your hands away just as you cum? Leave you hanging and panting and shaking with everything but the final bursting from your skin that will come later. Hours later. Will I stroke your clit with my tongue while you are bound hands and feet together? Shoved trussed onto the pillows and bent until your cunt is open to anything I might choose to do to it? When I do these things, your pussy positively drips with juices. It swells and gropes in its need. It becomes a grasping mouth for my cock. I know you wish you didn't need this so badly. That you would get the same feelings from a simple fucking. That you would feel this way if I came home, lit candles and sweetly entered you. Slowly and gently made love to you, heart and soul. And I have. And you loved it. But you also have this need that only I fulfill. How confusing. How confusing when I take you and move you easily onto the bed, massaging your back and moving comfortably to a climax full and delightful and immensely gratifying. Then the next time force you to an earth shattering orgasm. Kept from you by force and, by an even greater violence, shoved into you. How confusing that you prefer the complete devastation of your self, soul and world, yet delight in the perfect bliss of the other. Even more confusing that you want both. That you need both. That you love it that you have no idea which you will get next. What should you have today? Which do you think you want? Don't you wish you only wanted the sweet and gentle love? Don't you wish you didn't care what people might think if you dyed your hair, ripped your shirt and declared yourself "slave" before the world? How confusing. For you. For me, I see the way you love. I feel you reaching for more, grasping for the heights you could have and need. I crave the feel of you crashing and waging war with your needs. I revel in the rage of hormones and wants and needs. All mixing and enmeshing. I need the way you want and want to stop. How you can't get the words out of your mouth that would make the turmoil cease, though they are right at your tongue. I need the desperation, the unbridled shivers that go on until you can stand no more. And if I ease them ever so slightly, they'll just come back all the harder. I crave the vision of your suffering. Your inner convulsions. I love feeling the way they melt with your spasms as I let your orgasm loose upon you. And it takes you. Completely. I delight in the feel of your shimmering as it surrounds the sensitive flesh of my cock and moves me to my own heights. Oh, and your screams and piteous moans drive to my heart with the same force I drive into you with. They spur me on, touching my flayed nerves and singeing my desires. To see you there, writhing and flailing as best as you can within your bindings. The way you pull and tug. Wriggle and squirm. I love that you know what will come. I tell you, but you try to ignore it until it comes true. You somehow think that I will relent and act like all the others who would do anything you want if only you show them enough cleavage or move sensuously enough, or sinuously. And I admit. There is great temptation. Mmmmm how tempting you are. How delightful to the touch and the sight. When you are bare before me it is all I can do to reach for more. But a bare body is nothing to the wide open self and soul I have before me now. You may well call it confusion. Such a jumble of emotion and need and lust and want. Such a conglomeration of feeling. Confusing? Probably. Only for never having had it. Delightful? Delicious? Love? Definitely. Confusion and Pleasure The problems in our family started more than three years ago. When I had gotten half way through high school I started to think for myself more. I began to question that which I had before simply accepted. When you live in a traditional family, this does not help to create a peaceful environment. I soon completely rejected my family's Catholic beliefs, and this did not go over well with my parents, especially my father. But that was not the real problem. The real problems began when my little sister began to follow my lead. I had always been very close to my sister, and as younger siblings often do she had a tendency to emulate my behaviors. In this case, however, she took it a step further. Rather than a rational rejection of an illogical belief system, she went into plain rebellion. My parents blamed me for her disobedience, and I soon fell out of favor with them. When I finished high school I immediately went to an out of state college to get some distance between us, and everyone was happier for it. In fact, I had not even been home to see my parents and seldom spoken to them in the two years I had spent there. Now I sat in my room, quite surprised to be on the phone with my mother. "So, how are things going Sophie?" "They're fine Mom." "Are you still keeping your grades up?" "Yes Mom, you know I am." I had never had any problems getting good grades, and my mother knew this. It was ridiculous for her to ask, not to mention out of character. There was a long pause, neither of us speaking. I got the distinct impression that there was something she wanted to say but could not find the courage to do so. This belief was fed by the fact that this was only the fourth or fifth time we had spoken since I had moved off to school. There had to be a reason for the call. "So, what's up?" "It's - well, it's Maggy." "What's wrong now?" I tried to make my annoyance plain. I'd had more than enough of being blamed for my sister's actions. They were her responsibility, not mine. "Nothing's wrong, actually. Quite the opposite," she was trying not to sound confrontational. "It seems she's finally settled down. She's going to church again, and she's become really good friends with Jennifer Dover." Jennifer Dover? That made no sense. Jennifer Dover was a good little churchy girl, and Maggy and I had never liked her. Why would Maggy hang out with her? "Jennifer Dover? The short fat girl?" "Sophie! Don't be so cruel!" "Life is cruel mother." We have had conversations in the direction this was leading before. She knew where we were going and bit her tongue. There was another long pause. I had plenty of resentment built up, and I didn't want to make it any easier for her to say whatever it was she was going to say, so I kept my mouth shut. Finally, she spoke. "Your father is very happy with the way things are going now." "That's great," I replied, making sure my words dripped with sarcasm. My father had always been far more difficult and angry about the situation than mother, his happiness meant little to me at this point in time. "He's . . . He's cooled down a bit. I - What I'm trying to say is I talked to him, and we want you to come back home for the summer. It's been too long Sophie." Now I was really shocked. I just sat with my mouth open, my thoughts racing. "Sophie, are you there?" "I'm not changing, mother. Your not going to try to convert me are you?" "I know! I know! All we want is to see you Sophie. It's not right for us to live like this. Won't you please think about it?" After a while I reluctantly agreed, though I was kicking myself for it after I hung up the phone. I anxiously finished the last two weeks of the quarter, then prepared for my return home. The trial that I knew that I must face was never far from my mind. While our differences might have been slightly reconciled, the rift was by no means repaired. It interfered with my studies a bit, but as I said I have always had good grades and the impact wasn't that great. Finally the day arrived and I returned home. As I pulled up to the house, the sight brought back a lot of memories, most of the more recent ones unpleasant. The last fight I had had with my parents entered my mind. They had been trying to talk to me about being a negative influence on Maggy for quite a while, but now they were accusing me of "corrupting" her. That had been the last straw. The next day I had calmly and coldly informed them I was moving out, and we had hardly spoken since. As I got out of the car my reminiscing was interrupted by the sight of my mother running out to greet me, tears running down her face. Immediately she embraced me. "Oh Sophie! It's been too long. Far too long!" As she gripped me, some of my anger finally melted and gave way. I softened, and I returned her embrace. Soon I was crying as well. The stony facade that I had prepared was crumbling. As much as I hated to admit it, I was truly happy to be back home. The welcome I got from my father was not nearly the same, but there was finally some warmth between us again. Maggy was not yet home from school, she still had a few days to go before she was done with her last year of highschool. So mom and dad and I sat in the living room and exchanged small talk. We avoided any deep conversation topics, as nobody wanted to stir up painful memories. It was a little awkward, but at least no one was angry. Before long Maggy got home, and to my surprise she had brought Jennifer Dover with her. Also surprising was Jennifer's appearance. She was no longer "short and fat". At some point she had gone through a growth spurt and lost some of her girth. While she was by no means skinny, I definitely wouldn't call her fat. Full-bodied is more like it. In her white dress shirt, long black skirt, and knee-high boots and with her brunette braids that reached down to her waist she still looked like a good little church girl, but she was damn cute. I'd bet she made a lot of boys wish she was naughty. My little sister didn't look bad either. She was still quite a bit shorter than me (but then again I am quite tall), but her body had developed nicely since I had seen her last. Her breasts had grown out. They weren't very large, but had a nice shape; and her hips had also flared out a bit, so she didn't look quite so tomboyish. The most striking feature was her fiery red hair, cut short but still a tangled mess anyway, just as I remembered it. We really didn't look very similar. My hair was relatively straight, and platinum blonde. Where she was athletic, I was more like a model. At times it was hard to believe we were related at all. My sister and I embraced, though without the tears that my reunion with my mother evoked. She introduced me to Jennifer, who meekly mumbled something I didn't understand and blushed a little, and then they were off to my sister's room to study for a history final. Maggy hadn't seemed as excited to see me again as I had hoped. I wanted to spend some time with my kid sister, but well did I know the rigors of academic life. For a while things were really not that interesting for a while. Everyone got along fine. Mom and Dad spent a lot of time at work and a lot of time helping out at the local church, so I didn't spend a lot of time with them, but when they were around we got along fine. Maggy seemed to genuinely have been "rehabilitated", and all was going well. She did spend the majority of her time with Jennifer, which I found rather odd, but this seemed to please my parents so I avoided bringing it up. About ten days after my return home, we got a phone call from some out-of-state relatives. One of my dad's cousins had gotten in a car accident. She was hospitalized, and not likely to make it. She and dad had been very close when they were younger, so my parents immediately flew out to see her. Since Maggy and I had never even met her, we stayed home. Maggy and Jennifer had just finished school, and both were as of yet unemployed, so they were both home all day. I found their behavior to be more than just a little strange. They both seemed quite a bit more touchy-feely than normal. Whenever Maggy happened to place her hand upon Jennifer it would linger there far longer than it should have, and whenever I had my back turned one of them would end up giggling. When I turned back toward them, Jennifer's face would always be blushed. Knowing Jennifer to be the good girl that she was, I tried for the most part to ignore it. That night Jennifer stayed over, and I got the surprise of my life. In the middle of the night I got up to use the restroom, and as I was going back toward my room I heard noises coming from the living room. I thought that maybe someone had left the TV on, and so I went to turn it off. What I saw froze me in my tracks. The couch was facing away from me, so I could not see anything below the top of the backrest. But I could see my sister, hands clutching her naked breasts, head thrown back, eyes closed, moans escaping from her open mouth. From the motions her upper body was going through, I got the distinct impression that she was grinding herself down on something. Whatever it was, she was obviously enjoying it immensely. Maggy and Jennifer's earlier behavior seemed to take on a whole new light, and Jennifer's reputation was no longer able to suppress the suspicions that had been aroused. I stood and gaped for a moment, still awe-struck, but soon came to my senses and returned to my room before my presence could be discovered. My head was spinning. I was no innocent little girl; I had been exposed to lesbianism at college. But I had never even considered the possibility that my little sister preferred the companionship of other women. Suddenly a lot of things made a lot more sense. The fact that in all of Maggy's rebellion I had never heard of her having a boyfriend for instance, as well as all of the time she spent with Jennifer. They weren't just friends. "Studying for finals" indeed . . . All of these thoughts kept running through my head, almost as much as the image of my sexy little sister in ecstasy, riding what I imagined to be Jennifer's face. I found myself getting aroused. I had never been attracted to another woman before, but the thought of Maggy being tongue-fucked by the good little church girl set my mind reeling and my body reacted in ways it never had to thoughts of men. I tried to suppress it. It wasn't right to think of my sister like that. It wasn't normal. But I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I couldn't get to sleep. I lay, tossing and turning for more than an hour, but it was no use. My clit was throbbing and my nipples were so hard it hurt. I wanted desperately to cum, but I couldn't stop thinking of Maggy. I tried to think about something else sexy. I even tried thinking about just Jennifer, but Maggy always ended up finding a way in there. Finally, I gave in and started fingering myself. I sent my fingers flying over my clit, trying to get this over as fast as I could and get Maggy out of my mind. Soon I had masturbated myself to one of the most explosive orgasms I'd ever given myself. Panting and purring, I finally got to sleep. The next day elapsed much as the first had. But the sexual undertones to the girls' behavior seemed much more evident to me. A few times, after I heard them giggling, I could have sworn that I could see Jennifer's big erect nipples poking through her shirt. It was too much for me to bear. Soon I had to get out of the house and distract myself with something else. I drove around town for a while, seeing how the place had changed since I had moved away. It hadn't really. I tried going to the local book store, but everything that was any good I already had. Besides, I couldn't really concentrate on the books anyway. I kept thinking about Maggy and her new lover. Soon I gave up and returned home. The afternoon passed much as the morning had. That night I lay awake, tossing and turning again. It was useless. I wasn't going to be able to sleep. I got up, and was about to slip on a pair of shorts, but I suddenly felt naughty and left my room wearing only a tight little tanktop that I usually slept in. I was totally exposed from the waist down. The cool air caressing my wet pussy was exhilarating, and by the time I had soundlessly crept to the living room I was practically dripping. However, I was disappointed to find the living room empty. I was about to return to my room when a wicked thought struck me. I could sit outside Maggy's door and eavesdrop. If they were going to make love in the living room, it seemed only fair that they shouldn't expect much for privacy, but listening to what they did in the bedroom seemed a bit more like trespassing. But I needed to get off now, and it was basically their fault I was all wet, right? I ascended the stairs to the second story, and then crawled on my hands and knees to Maggy's bedroom door. When I stopped, I was pleased to find that I would be treated to another audio feast. At first all I could hear were soft little whimpers, punctuated by occasional inaudible whispering. As time went on it got louder. "Yessss . . . Fuck me . . . Fuck my pussy . . . " I was quite surprised to find that the voice doing the whimpering and talking dirty was Jennifer's. Those were not the words I expected to hear coming from her, but then again I had never expected her to let my sister fuck her either. "Fuck me with your cock . . . Yes, oh yes . . . Harder . . . Fuck me harder . . . " 'Fuck me with your cock?' I thought. Were they using a strapon? My imagination rapidly flipped images through my mind, and in my mind I could see Jennifer on her hands and knees, with Maggy taking her from behind. I could see Maggy's hands resting on that supple bottom, and the gentle ripples that would travel through Jennifer's body as their flesh met. I became more aroused than I thought was possible. My hands crept up under my shirt and fondled my breasts, pinching and teasing my nipples. I thought I was going to cum without even touching my pussy, I felt so hot. I didn't, so I soon reached one hand down between my outspread thighs and furiously fingered myself. Evidently Maggy was complying with Jennifer's wishes, because she was thrusting into her hard enough that I could hear the slapping of flesh outside the door. Soon the pleasure prevented Jennifer from talking anymore, and the noises coming from her mouth degenerated into inarticulate moans, and then screams. I couldn't imagine the walls keeping me from hearing this down in my room, so I felt a little less guilty about eavesdropping. My climax came just after Jennifer's started and ended before hers, but still it was fantastic. I'm sure I made plenty of noise, but Jennifer was so loud that it didn't matter anyway. As I crawled back away to my room I could hear them murmuring to each other and kissing. I hadn't planned on saying anything about what I had heard and seen to Maggy and Jennifer, but it sort of happened the next day anyway. Maggy left the house for something, and I was left alone with Jennifer for a short time. She was so cute in another one of her little churchy outfits that I couldn't resist the temptation to say something. "So, Jennifer . . . " Already she was blushing, and I hadn't even said anything. Normally someone that incredibly shy would have irritated me immensely, but she was so damn cute when she blushed that I found it kind of endearing. I could think of no smooth way to say what I wanted, so I just blurted it out. "You and Maggy - You're more than just friends aren't you? Are you lovers?" I didn't think it was possible for a person's face to turn that red. She just sat there, staring at me with her mouth hanging wide open. God she was so cute. But she was obviously terrified, and I started to feel guilty. "I heard you two last night, so there's no use denying it. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me, dear. I won't tell a soul." Some of the dread faded from her face, but it was quickly replaced by humiliation. She still couldn't bring herself to speak. I cupped her cheek in my left hand and tried to reassure her some more. She was trembling, so I pulled her close and held her. "Thank you," she finally managed to squeak out. She was so meek and submissive, I thought was beginning to understand why my sister liked her. I didn't say anything else to Jennifer about the subject, but still she acted like a beaten dog all day. If she hadn't been as cute as a button while she did it she would have gotten on my nerves. Later that afternoon, Maggy came to me. "Jennifer told me you talked to her." I took it she meant the talk about my discovery. "And . . . " "I actually thought you already knew. I mean, there were all those hints." I didn't know what she was talking about, so I just said "I had no idea until the night before last. I was pretty shocked to find out." "So you saw us on the couch then? I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong," I replied. "So you really won't tell anyone? Thank you so much. Mom and dad would flip out so much!" "Don't worry, you're safe for now. I do have a question though. How in the world did you end up with Jennifer Dover." Suddenly her voice dropped to an excited whisper, and she turned giddy like a little girl. "Actually, she came to me about a month ago." My surprise most have shown on my face, because the next thing she said was "I know! She's the last girl I would have thought was a lesbian. But she came to me, I guess because I was the 'wild girl', and asked me if I had ever been attracted to another girl. The poor thing was terrified there was something wrong with her and that she would get caught being bad. But she was so adorable." I just nodded my head knowingly at this. "I kind of just fell for her right away. Believe me, I was as surprised as you are." From this point they were a bit more open about their sexuality. They would kiss passionately in front of me, and every once a while Maggy would sneak a feel of Jennifer's big heavy breasts and they would both giggle. "So that's what they were doing earlier," I thought. Jennifer was of course embarrassed and awkward the whole time, but eventually she loosened up a bit. Later that night, while we were all watching tv (at least I was), they were really getting into it. They ended up with my sister laying on top of her lover, kissing her passionately and caressing her whole body, ending up with her hands fixed on those massive mammaries. I fixed my gaze to them in fascination, completely forgotten, but after a moment Jennifer broke off the kissing and looked over at me self-consciously. Maggy seemed to return to reality then. "Sorry Sophie. We'll go up to my room." "Don't be sorry," I replied. "And you don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to, I don't mind." I couldn't believe that had just come out of my mouth! But the damage was already done. Too late to take it back. I wanted desperately to see them fuck on the couch in front of me, but I hoped that I hadn't made that too obvious. It wasn't right for me to want to see my sister like this. They both just looked at me for a moment, and then Maggy broke the silence. "Do you want to do it in front of her Jennifer? You'd like that wouldn't you?" The only response that she could manage was to gasp out a breathy "Yes." "I'll be right back love," my sister said. "I'm going to get my cock." That right there was almost enough to push me over the edge. I wanted so badly to finger myself then and there. Not only was I going to get to see them making love to each other, they were going to use the strapon right in front of me! I had died and gone to heaven. And sitting across from me on the other couch was an angel. I smiled at her, and she made an attempt at returning the favor, but instead decided to stare at her hands resting in her lap, fingers entwined and fidgeting nervously.