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Calm Ch. 01

By: CaringAndDemanding



Hi reader,

For those who have read my other story, this is the sequel to Pillar. I meant it to be a stand alone story, so if you haven't read Pillar, that's okay.

This book is different in theme and in feel from Pillar. There's a less pronounced focus on sex, and a stronger focus on emotional struggles.

Alex is not a part of this story, instead a new character is introduced. I hope you like her and I hope you get sucked into the story, giving her a chance to mean something for you.

There are BDSM-scenes where appropriate, but in some parts of the story I felt it was more important to focus on the stuff my characters are dealing with.

I think that's enough said, please read on and find out if you like my story.

[There will be 7 parts, for a total of 90+ k words, so it's shorter than Pillar.]

IMPORTANT MESSAGE: I'm looking for people who want to beta-read the whole thing (not looking for an editor). This means leaving some remarks and comments on each scene, so I can get input from outside my own head to point out anything that's unrealistic, confusing or dubious. Contact me via PM if you're interested.

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Prologue

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Ellie watched her little brother Jef flip his legs while he read outside in the garden. Her light eyes shone bright above her cute nose, one grey and one blue. Seeing him lying there so peacefully in the warm rays of the sun made her smile. She leaned back into her lawn chair and closed her eyes to enjoy the soothing calm of a lazy summer day.

Her straight, platinum hair hung over her shoulder in a loose ponytail. It curled around her full breasts and guided the eye across her flat stomach on to her long legs. The sun caressed her beautiful face.

Father had told her many times she looked like her mother. Too many times. It didn't matter. For now he wasn't here and she and Jef could enjoy themselves. Summer was filled with tiny holidays within the confines of their own home.

After some time spent sunbathing Ellie went back inside and checked if Jef had noticed her leaving. She shouldn't have bothered. A cannon could have gone off nearby and he wouldn't have noticed. She smiled and put her plan in motion. Jef squeaked when a cold jet of water splashed his neck and he rolled to the side. Ellie threw him a water gun of his own. With a firm expression, she said "There you go, soldier. Let's see how you handle a weapon."

The boy soldier didn't answer her, but Ellie could see he was game.

"You will take cover in this garden. Don't let yourself be detected. This lawn chair here is your target, the enemy fortress. Sneak up and spray me before I shoot you down. Is that understood, soldier?"

Jef saluted. "Aye, Ma'am."

"Dismissed, soldier."

Ellie put her chair on its side and folded it as much as possible before she squatted down and scanned the battleground. He could be anywhere. A small boy can hide in so many places. And young boys don't care if they get dirty when they're serious about something. Jef was always serious. 

They loved these games together, acting out fantasies. Catching glimpses of other lives for fleeting moments in the summer heat.

Ellie heard a noise and scanned the suspect sector of the garden. That's where he came from the last time, he wouldn't use that route again so soon. Just as expected he'd thrown a rock to distract her, and she could see his cute little butt bobbing up and down behind a row of low bushes on the opposite side of the garden. She shuffled behind her fortifications and took a water balloon from her secret stash. With a precise lob throw it landed behind the bushes, and Ellie heard the satisfying sploosh as it doused Jef with water. "Surrender or I'll keep shooting mortars!"

"Never!"

He jumped up and dashed towards Ellie, water gun blasting. They soaked each other, and Jef tumbled over the chair straight into her arms. The two of them scrapped it out on the grass, and Ellie tickled him until he gave in. "You're such a little cheater." 

"I am not!"

"You were already dead when you stormed my fortress."

"It was only my leg."

"And you don't need that for running?"

"I have another one."

She tussled his hair. "Of course. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and back into your room before father gets back home. Don't forget your book."

She tossed his clothes in the laundry basket and he peddled along naked. "Come on, go wash up. I'm not your maid."

He stuck his tongue out and soon his little footsteps pattered over the floor. Such a sweet boy.

***

Jef stayed in his bedroom until dinner time, like he always did. He didn't take his eyes off his plate while he ate and didn't speak.

Father was talkative today. He'd had a big sale and was in a good mood. Jef hoped he'd go out tonight to celebrate, then sis could come to his room and tell him a story. He was old enough to read them himself, but he liked it when him and sis snuggled close together and she told him about trolls and dragons.

The story books were the only books of hers he understood though. She was always reading difficult books. Books with difficult words and weird stuff in them. He liked the pictures sometimes, but the books she bought him from time to time were a lot better. He stashed them in his secret box under the bed. The box father didn't know about. Sis had given it to him and told him to always put anything she gave him in there, so father wouldn't find it. 

Dinner was tasty. And his pudding was the biggest. He thanked sis while they did the dishes and she winked at him. Father shouted from near the door, "Elisabeth, I'm going out tonight. Lock up behind me. I'll be home late."

"Yes, father. I'll do it first thing after I finish up the dishes."

"Have the boy do them."

"Yes, father."

Jef didn't mind doing the dishes, even though the sink was a little high for him to reach. Sis took out a little stand for him and went to lock up. While he did the dishes, he looked outside into the garden and wondered how she'd known where he was. He'd been so sure he was hidden. Sis came back into the kitchen and said, "Are you done washing up? I'll help you dry off. Do you want to hear a story when we're done?"

"Yes!"

"What about?"

"A dragon!"

"Last time the story was about a dragon. How about something else?"

"Uhm..."

"There's one about a soldier."

"A real soldier?"

Ellie nodded with an honest expression on her face. "As real as can be. Had to fight even though he didn't really want to."

"Oh. Why didn't he want to?"

"Well, he forgot his good fighting shoes at home. They sent him to go back and get them, but then the battle started and he tripped over the laces of his bad shoes. He fell and went rolling, rolling and rolling down a hill. Smack into the middle of the enemy camp!"

"Oooooh. And what did he do then?"

"He ran away. And since he was wearing his running shoes and all the other soldiers weren't, he escaped. The brave soldier ran and ran until he came back to his own king, and he told him where the enemy king was. His side was losing at the time so the soldier's king sent all the men he had left to kill the evil king."

"Wow! Is that the end of the story?"

"Oh no, that's another story about the same soldier. He forgot his sword in the story I'll tell you later."

Ellie smiled when she saw Jef's little face light up with excitement as he wondered about what the soldier would do with no sword. "And what's his name?"

"Lazy Geoffrey. They call him that because he also lets his sister do all the drying up."

"Oh, I'm sorry sis."

She ruffled his hair and laughed. "It's nothing, Jef. You go take some candy from the cupboard and go wait in my room. I'll finish up here. You can't reach all the cupboards anyways."

Summer is a fun time for parents, but even more so for children.

***

"Look at you, Jef. You beat me again."

Jef smiled when Ellie tussled his hair. They were setting up a new game of Shoots and ladders when the front door slammed shut. Ellie waved Jef out of her room. "Father's here. Quick, Jef, go. I'll clean up."

Her hands shook with fear for her brother. Father shouldn't be home this early. She pushed everything under her bed and hoped Jef would make it in time. 

Her father's booming voice made her cringe. "Geoffrey! What are you doing running around? Have you been bothering your sister again? How many times do I need to tell you, you stupid boy? Come here, now!"

Ellie pushed her hands against her ears, but she couldn't block out the heavy thumps. Block it out! She couldn't cry. If she did, it would be so much worse for Jef. The sounds died down and relief blasted through Ellie when she heard her father say, "You're lucky I'm in a hurry, Geoffrey. Go back to your room."

Father wouldn't go to her room and scold her, even though she was the one who invited Jef in. Jef always came when she invited him cause he knew she only called for him when it was safe. Every fiber of her body wished for her father to be gone so she could rush over to her little brother and hold him. She'd treat him with salve father knew nothing about, and she'd tell him a new story. Like always, so he could forget.

Ellie burst from her room the second the front door shut, and she found Jef still balled up on the stairs. He didn't make a sound. Ellie gently pulled his ear and his body relaxed, father was gone. "Does it hurt a lot, Jef?"

He didn't look at her. "It's okay."

"Oh Jef, come here." She took the little boy in her arms and stroked his hair. "I'm so sorry, Jef. I didn't know he was coming back."

"It's okay, sis. It didn't hurt that much."

She took a deep breath and pulled him to his feet. He favored his right side. The corner of her mouth pulled at the sight. She should take him to a hospital, but that would never be allowed. "Come to my room and take your clothes off. I'll see what I can do to make it better."

If she hadn't known where his old bruises were, she couldn't have found the new ones. It amazed and saddened her to see how much pain this little body could bear and never show it or complain about it to anybody, not even her. She did what she could for him and when he'd put on his clothes, she asked, "Do you want me to tell you a story?"

"Maybe tonight. I want to go see the birds."

"Oh... all right. But be careful. I'd go with you, but I have to stay here."

They walked to his blue bike in silence, and she saw him wince when he slung his leg over the frame. "Are you sure you'll be okay? You're hurt."

"I'm used to it, sis. Don't worry."

And off he went, to look at birds as they landed on the shimmering surface of the pond nearby. They flew together, in circles and swirls, free as birds have always been. Unreachable for a little boy sitting by himself, watching them. 

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Chapter 1

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Tom ran his finger along Ruth's jaw, tracing the delicate curve of her face. He continued down along her throat, teasing her collar bone with a soft, tantalizing touch. His eyes took in everything his fingers discovered. His little girl's deceptively simple outfit still amazed him whenever she wore it.

The green silk didn't hide her beautiful form in the least. So easy to follow the side of her breasts, bumping into it now and then as he made his way further down. He spread his fingers out on her exposed flat stomach and relished the warmth of her skin. A smile curled his lips when her nipples stiffened just as his fingertips touched the edge of her long, wispy skirt. His hand slipped under the fabric, into her wet panties. One finger slipped inside of her and he started a slow tease. Tom looked Ruth in the eye and said, "Are you nervous, little girl?"

She bit her lip to keep from moaning out loud and clenched her fists. "Yes, Sir."

"Do you think you'll be able to dance for everybody out there?"

"Yes, Sir."

Inside of her, Tom curled up his finger and rubbed her in tiny circles. This time she did moan out loud. "They'll see how hard your nipples are, little girl."

Ruth shuddered in response to his words, clenching around his teasing digit. "Tell me, little girl, and be honest with me, when I tell you to service me later, on the stage, what will you do?"

Her knees buckled when he punctuated his question by rubbing her clit with his thumb. Breathing fast, her mind struggled to function, awash in the waves of excitement Tom threw at her. A whisper passed her lips, "Would you ask that of me, Sir?"

His hand slowed down, and he put a little more pressure on her clit. His voice was low when he answered her. "I would, little girl. This club allows it. What will you do when I ask?"

Looking for support, Ruth put her hands on his shoulders. She cast her eyes down for a second, panting and trying to come up with an answer that would say what she was feeling. She shook her head and gave up, instead going with simple honesty. "Everything I can do for you, I will do, Sir."

A moan welled up in her throat when he kissed her from her collar bone up along her throat until he reached her ear. The words he spoke to her were quiet but laden with desire, "I want you to show everyone out there why I'm so proud of my little girl. Let them see you and know that I'm in the crowd, nearby. Dance for me, just me, and you'll get your reward."

Ruth fell forward when he drew back his hand, clamping herself to him and burying her face in his neck. "Your servant won't let you down, Sir. She loves you so much."

He kissed her on the top of her head and murmured, "I know, little girl. I know you'll make me proud. You always do."

Like on overexcited puppy, she bumped his head away in her hurry to grab his face and kiss him full on the mouth. Tom chuckled and held out her silk face mask. "Put this on so you can get up on stage."

A few strands of her red blonde hair fell over the mask that framed her green eyes. They sparkled with energy and excitement. Tom made his way back to his seat and smiled inwardly as he thought about the look of amazement that was sure to spread through the crowd in the club. Leather and whips have their appeal, but nothing can top raw, feminine beauty.

The MC announced that Sir Tom would use tonight's event as his life partner and servant's debut in the local scene. The lights dimmed behind him and he stepped off the stage to make room for Ruth.

A hush came over the room as slow, melancholic sitar music filled the air. Ruth came on stage and stood still, shrouded in shadows and silk. Light shone on her and made the silk covering her translucent and shimmering. Her arms moved with the melancholic flow of the music until a lull caused her arms to freeze in place. 

Her head rolled back and suddenly she came back to life. Music erupted around her and she flowed along with it, using every note to present herself in the most inviting way she could manage. As the song progressed, Ruth became more fluent. A vision of wonder and beauty. Tom forgot there were other people in the room. His eyes glued to Ruth. His chest bursting with pride and amazement. When Ruth tore off her mask and looked straight at him, Tom's breath stopped. 

The look on her face expressed the same turmoil he was feeling. It told him how much she wanted him to touch her. There was no going back the moment she showed her face. She had freely given up her anonymity. A silent shout at him making it clear she wanted to be his.

Her dance changed. First it had been a display of the results of her practice, accentuating her natural beauty. Now it was an invitation. Her hands ran across her skin, dove under her silks and into her hair. Individual layers fell off. Her locks cascaded onto her back and still she kept undulating her body, calling out, begging.

Tom stood up from his seat and made his way to the stage. Ruth knelt down like he'd taught her before he even made it past the second table in front of him. With her eyes cast down, she waited for him with her chest flushed in raw excitement. A thin sheen of sweat covered her body and made her glow in the light when Tom reached her. He grabbed her hair and pulled her face to his, kissing her with a hunger he'd rarely felt.

When he released her she looked up at him and mouthed the word 'please'. Tom knew what she wanted and stood up. Ruth quickly unbuckled his pants and pulled out his rock hard cock. A pleading glance was all it took for him to nod and give his permission. Her hand slipped inside her panties and she rubbed her clit with fast, little strokes. At the same time she poured all her energy into working his cock deep into her mouth and lathering it with her tongue every time she pulled back.

They both wanted more and Ruth pushed another two fingers in her pussy. She moaned on Tom's shaft as the sheer excitement and joy of the situation rushed through her. To anybody looking it seemed like she was going wild, devouring his cock as she played with herself. In reality a control hard as steel hid underneath the storm churning inside of her, waiting to explode. She had mastered this performance long ago.

When Ruth felt Tom swell up inside of her mouth she allowed herself to topple over the edge, and she screamed her orgasm on his cock as he gave her his come. Her body shook and a stream of juices ran down her fingers as her pussy fluttered around them. She leaned back on her heels and caught her breath, basking in the glow of her orgasm.

Tom kneeled in front of his little girl, also reeling from how intense his release had been. He took out her collar, put it around her neck and didn't even take the time to say anything before he pulled her in for a ferocious kiss that robbed her of the last of her energy. Ruth had to be carried off the stage in his arms. Crying, curled up against his chest with her fists balled into his shirt. Tom soothed her and pet her hair as several people he knew came to congratulate him on finding such a wonderful sub.

Ruth didn't pay attention to them. All that mattered to her was that he'd put on her collar in front of all these people. He'd shown the world she was his.

***

The next morning Ruth woke up alone. She smiled when she remembered the night before. After a while they'd moved to a corner of the room and spent some quiet time together, basking in the acceptance they had both luxuriated in. When they came home, they made love before falling asleep. She ran her hand over his place on the bed and said, "I'm yours, Sir."

The time she got up in the morning was the one thing Tom was lax on. He was an early riser and a late sleeper, but he wouldn't force her to give up sleep because of that. She wanted to see his face, so she got up from the bed and stopped short of opening the door when she saw a note stuck to the door.

'little girl,

You were amazing yesterday. You went beyond my expectations, and I'm very pleased with you, so I'm rewarding you today.

After you read this, you'll go to the bathroom and have a bath. I prepared something a little different for you. It's supposed to make your skin nice and soft. Not that you need any help there, but there it is. Take your time and relax.

When you finish your bath, we'll have brunch together. After brunch you can decide how you want to spend your day or you can let me decide for you, either way works for me. 

However, don't go back into the bedroom after you've dried off. I won't let you leave if you do. I'll tease and pleasure you in whatever way I can think of until you find the strength to drag yourself out the door. If you can't make it out, then we'll see what's left of you tomorrow.

Sir'

Ruth smiled when she read the note. The words he used to tell her she'd pleased him made her glow with pride. It was still beyond her to what came over her the day before. Never once had she danced like that in class. But right then, the overwhelming feeling of joy at the meaning behind what she did had pushed her beyond what she'd dared to do before. 


Calm Ch. 01



Ruth opened the door and bypassed Tom's office, he'd just wave her to the bathroom anyway. If he planned something for her, he was impatient to see it done. She lifted her eyebrow when she found a note along with a jug of full fat milk, slices of ginger and cinnamon sticks neatly arranged next to the bath. 

'The aromatics will make you smell nice, and the ginger will give you energy. The milk will invigorate your skin, at least it's supposed to. If it doesn't, you'll at least have the experience.'

She did as instructed and relaxed in the warm water, the subtle smells of ginger and cinnamon playing through the room. When she came out of the bathroom, she was well groomed and wondrously relaxed. A fine start of the day. She entered Tom's study without disturbing him and made herself comfortable on the pillows to the right of his armchair. A gesture called her closer to him. Tom pulled her face to him and kissed her, drifting off to her throat. "You taste wonderful, Ruth."

Brunch was the last thing on their mind for a long time, but eventually Tom made his escape for the kitchen. There was some prepping left to do. Ruth followed, eager to know what they were having.

"Eggs Benedict with herbs and toast, along with home smoked salmon. Normal and dark chocolate covered strawberries for the sweet. You can make the strawberry margaritas, the recipe's next to the blender."

They worked together, their mouths watering at the thought of what was to come. When the last strawberry vanished from the table and the final delighted little groan was heard, Tom refilled their glasses and asked Ruth, "So, little girl, what'll it be?"

"First, I'd like for you to choose my clothes and pick out a piece of my collar to wear."

"What kind of clothing?"

"Nothing too special, but we're eating out in a nice place so nothing too casual either."

Tom smiled a little and said, "Any chance of you telling me where that is?"

Ruth shrugged and said, "No need to spoil the surprise."

He laughed and got up from the table. "How soon do you want to leave?"

"I'm fresh out of the bath. Ready when you are."

"Good, I won't be long."

Ruth hummed as she cleared the dishes and scrubbed them with extra vigor. A few minutes later Tom came back, holding a white dress with two bands of navy blue stripes, separated by a wide, pure white band that stretched out over her waist. He also had a dark blue ribbon to tie around her waist, highlighting her slender figure. "I don't think you've worn this since we got it. It should be good for whatever you're planning. And I think just the bracelet will do. I want something you can see every time you look down, so you know you're collared."

Ruth took off her uniform and folded it neatly on the table. She kneeled in front of Tom and held out her hand to him. "Will you please put it on me, Sir?"

Tom took the box out of his pocket and hesitated for a second before he opened it and took out the beautiful bracelet. It was part of the set of jewelry that represented her collar, each piece crafted in the same style, with twisted white gold and small, vibrant emeralds. "This is how you want your day to be?"

"Yes, Sir."

He locked the bracelet around her wrist and said, "I'll oblige, little girl."

"Can I ask one more thing before I dress, Sir?"

"Go ahead."

"Could you write your name somewhere of your choice? You've never done so, although the Rules mention it. I... I want to know what it's like."

Tom went to retrieve a pen and looked down, his eyes wandering her body. Ruth felt her nipples stiffen as she wondered where he'd mark her, what he'd write. Her thoughts stopped, and she focused on Tom when he crouched in front of her and let the tip of his finger drag along her inner thigh. Her breathing sped up when he lingered. She felt faint disappointment when he traveled upwards. 

He followed the curve of her breast but he didn't seem interested. Her collar bone did almost tempt him though. Her breath stopped when he lingered there, the dress he chose for her was close to strapless. If he wrote his name there, there was no hiding it. She could breathe again when he slid his finger away from her collar bone and down her arm. He grabbed her hand and held her arm steady. In bold letters he wrote 'Sir' on the inside of her wrist. Now each wrist had a reminder she was his.

Ruth shot forward and hugged him, knocking Tom back. He laughed and kissed her before standing up. "You choose if you want to wear underwear today. Be at the door in five minutes."

"Yes, Sir."

Five minutes later she was back and when Tom raised an eyebrow, looking down and back up, all Ruth did was shrug and smile as she sauntered out of the apartment. Tom grinned as he went out after her, and it surprised him to see her standing next to the car with her hand held out to him. "You want to drive?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Would you mind doing so in the future as well?"

She smiled wide at his question. "Not at all, Sir."

"Good, from now on you'll drive. I'll drive when I feel like driving."

"Thank you, Sir."

He waved her thanks away and stepped in the passenger seat, happy he didn't have to bother with any traffic.

***

Tom looked over at Ruth with a question in his eyes. She'd parked in front of an upper scale liquor store, offering a wide assortment of fine spirits. "This is where you wanted to go? It's a liquor store, Ruth. Why would you come here?"

A little smile played around Ruth's mouth. "I would like for Sir to buy me a present here, if it's not too presumptuous to ask. And of course, if Sir wishes to buy something for himself, then I'd gladly encourage him to do so."

He looked at her, slightly bemused. Let her have her way. "Stay in your seat until I come open your door."

They made their way to the store and before they stepped inside, Ruth put her hand on Tom's arm so she could stop him. "Yes, Ruth?"

"Sir, inside the store, could you put your hand in the small of my back and show me where to go? I'm not very familiar with this place."

Tom knew for a fact she'd been here before at least once. His favorite bottle of scotch had been nearly empty and suddenly, miraculously a full bottle had appeared. Would he be spending the entire day running into one small surprise after another? Why not? He grinned and put his hand in the small of her back. "Sure, I wouldn't want my little girl to get lost, would I?"

Even though she'd tricked him into treating himself as he rewarded her, Tom made the most of it. He called over the owner of the story and together they systematically found out what Ruth would like the most out of the assortment in the store. Eventually they stepped out of the store as two satisfied customers. Tom glanced over at Ruth and said, "You're a clever little girl, aren't you?"

"I am what I am, Sir."

He laughed and grabbed her so he could give her a kiss. "So where to next?"

"You'll see."

***

Their next stop was a local park, where a jazz band would come and play a concert. The band was still setting up, so there was some time to kill. Tom and Ruth sat down on one of the park benches a way off from the stage. They enjoyed the park's atmosphere and the warm rays of the sun while they chatted.

Ruth leaned in close to Tom and handed him something she'd been hiding in her hand since they left the car. It was a silk scarf, rolled up into a tight ball. "Please tie my hands, Sir."

Tom's expression changed immediately. Ruth shivered when she saw the look in his eyes. His voice was low when he said, "Cross your wrists on your lap, little girl."

Nobody could clearly see what he was doing and before she knew it, Tom had locked Ruth's wrists in place. He pulled her close enough so he could whisper into her ear. "You're playing a dangerous game, little girl. I know this park. I know where the quiet spots are. You'd be quiet if I told you to, wouldn't you? Very quiet."

Ruth swallowed as her pussy clenched at his words. "Yes, Sir."

"Do you maybe think one scarf isn't enough to tie you up? Let me tell you something, little girl." 

His warm breath in her neck tantalized her, and her cheeks burned bright red. People would know they weren't just having a quiet moment. It embarrassed her, but she loved it.

"I've been wanting to tie you up to a tree. One high branch and one scarf is all I need to tie your hands above your head. Which way would you want me to tie you? Would you like to feel the rough bark dragging across your nipples as I fuck you? Or maybe you'd like it if I spanked your ass till it's tender so you can feel every little ridge pressing into your skin as I fuck you?"

Ruth's breathing sped up, and she pushed her hands down into her lap, but she couldn't stop her imagination from going into overdrive. "The second one, Sir. That way I can feel both."

Tom laughed, a wonderful belly laugh that made her smile as well. He let her go and said, "For that one, I think my greedy little girl deserves a treat. A waffle will have to do."

He stood up and Ruth tried to stop him. "Sir!"

He pet her hair and said, "Don't worry, little girl. The line isn't long. I'll be back soon."

The wait felt long to Ruth. Losing the safety of Tom's presence made her feel very vulnerable, tied as she was. If anyone came up to ask her something or to join her on the bench, she'd be mortified. She sighed when Tom returned to her. "Is my greedy little girl embarrassed? I can tell. You're blushing all the way down to your cleavage."

He chuckled and pulled her closer to him. After she settled in, Tom broke off a piece from the waffle and said, "Here, maybe this will cheer you up."

Her eyes turned to the rest of the waffle as if to ask if she'd be eating all of it. Tom's smile widened a little more when he nodded in response. Ruth accepted the piece and chewed, embarrassed at the thought that people would see her being fed like a little girl.

"How was it?"

"Very good, Sir."

"It is, isn't it?" Tom had fun teasing his little girl with the rest of the waffle, but eventually he untied her and they watched the performance, lying down in the grass.

***

Ruth and Tom stepped inside a charming restaurant with small wooden tables that matched the gave the place a welcoming feel. There was hardly any room to slide your chair back far enough to get up, but that didn't stop the place from being full when other places were close to deserted. Tom took in the cozy atmosphere and said, "It's been a while since we've been here. I'd forgotten about it."

"I try not to come here too much so it's special every time I eat here. Do you like it, Sir?"

"Yes, it's intimate."

He picked up the menu and held it up to her. "I'll order for the both of us."

"Please do so, Sir."

While Tom browsed through the menu, he could feel Ruth's foot rubbing his thigh. He lowered the menu a little so he could see her, but she had her poker face up. "Have you decided already, Sir?"

"No, not yet. I just... noticed something."

"Is something not to your liking, Sir?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No complaints."

Ruth smiled back at him and pushed her foot further up his leg and rubbed it against his crotch. Tom chuckled and returned his attention to the menu. At some point, Ruth stopped touching him, which both relieved and disappointed him. Not for long though. Tom froze in the middle of turning a page when a little hand grabbed his zipper.

He looked to the side and saw Ruth wasn't in her seat. A waiter showed up at the table and startled Tom. "Care to order, sir?"

Ruth unzipped Tom's pants as the waiter took their order. "We'll have the menu. One fish main and one chicken. And if you could hold on the starters for a while, I'd appreciate it. My girlfriend went to the toilet. She's feeling a little unwell. Nothing too serious though."

Ruth rewarded Tom's quick thinking by slipping his shaft down the back of her throat and keeping it there. His poker face almost cracked, but Tom stayed steady until the waiter left. Ruth worked his cock fast, bringing him close to the edge. She was very skilled and in this situation those skills sent his arousal skyrocketing. 

Tom wasn't the only one experiencing some forbidden pleasure though. Ruth's soft moans rose from under the table. Always true to her training. It made him smile. When he toppled over the edge, Tom couldn't stop himself from leaning forward in his chair with his eyes closed. He shot his come into Ruth's mouth and her own orgasm made her buck with pleasure under the table. She stuffed her Sir's cock deeper into her throat to stifle her moans.

After a minute's pause she peeked her head from under the table. "Is the coast clear? I kind of need to clean up."

Tom cast a glance over his shoulder. It was early in the evening shift. If she was quick about it, she could make it. "Yes, you can come out, Ruth. But quickly."

Ruth hurried to the bathroom and when she came back, she looked as fresh as she had when she first arrived, apart from the subtle blush she had on her cheeks. 

"Today was great, Ruth."

She blushed a deeper shade of red and looked down. "Thank you, Sir."

"Ruth, look up at me." When she met his eyes, Tom wanted to forget about the restaurant and take her home as fast as he could. But he held back and used that emotion to give his words weight. "I'm glad you're mine."

Ruth grabbed his hand with hers and said, "Thank you, Sir. That's all I need. I don't really want any rewards or treats. Just please keep me close to you."

Tom smiled and cupped her cheek with his hand. "Would you deny me anything, little girl?"

"No, Sir."

"Then will you let me have my fun and spoil you?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Great, now let's see about some food."

The food was delicious, and the atmosphere was relaxed until the moment Tom paid the bill. "Don't forget, Ruth. The moment you step into the bedroom you're mine until you escape. Anything can happen before you make it back through that door."

Tom grabbed Ruth and gave her a passionate kiss that made heads around several tables turn to watch. It left her legs trembling, and she had to hurry to catch up with him as he left the place.

***

The bedroom door locked behind Tom and he leaned back against it, looking down at Ruth. She crawled from her place to the right of the door and assumed the Kneel up position in front of him, proudly displaying her naked form to him. The only things hidden from his sight were her downcast eyes. 

Tom kept quiet for a few minutes, thinking about how and where he'd start. Ruth wanted to look up, more and more with every passing second. All she could see were his legs, casually crossed.

"You surprised me today. I'd expected you to be more selfish about your reward. You could've asked for anything you wanted, and I wouldn't have had a word of complaint about it. If I want to spoil you, then I want to do it well. Yet somehow I feel we were both spoiled today."

Tom walked around Ruth and crouched behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders. "Display, little girl. Show yourself to me." 

His words sent a shiver through Ruth. This is what she'd wanted to ask, but she couldn't bring herself to ask. She'd tried to show Tom her love for him all day and now Ruth would be given the chance to show her Master that she belonged to him in every way. He drew back so Ruth could adjust, and she spread her hips further apart and sat down on the soles of her feet. She laced her hands together behind her head and pushed her chest forward. Her eyes cast down as required, so she had no idea where his eyes were roaming. 

Tom moved around her and laid himself down on the floor on his side, supporting his head with one arm. Ruth could see his face now and she shivered now she knew with certainty his eyes were lingering on her body.

"Little girl, I appreciated today a lot. You have a very enjoyable way of telling me you like being my little girl. In a little while I'm going to inspect you, but for now I just want to enjoy seeing you."

Ruth's pussy clenched at the thought of being inspected. She already felt vulnerable displaying her body like this, but inspection went beyond that. For the next fifteen minutes she breathlessly followed Tom's fingertips along her skin as they traced the lines of her body. Time after time he came ever so close to touching her where she wanted to be touched, but never all the way. He surprised her by suddenly sliding his finger through her wet pussy, bumping into her clit. A jolt of pleasure shot through her and she involuntary closed her legs in response.

Tom smiled wide at seeing her primed and ready. He got up and folded his arms while Ruth scrambled to regain her position. "I'll start your Inspection now, little girl. Don't break eye contact. Present your breasts."

Ruth untangled her hands and quickly move her hands so she could cup her breasts and push them up, being very careful not to appear clumsy in any way. She lifted her ass off her feet and almost presented her pert breasts on a platter. Tom took his time touching and examining the soft mounds, drawing pleasure from the little twitches and the squirming he could coax from her. "They're beautiful as always, little girl. Present your pussy now."

Ruth moved onto her back, taking hold of her ankles and pulling them to the sides of her ass before she spread her legs wide. Having to maintain eye contact made the position much more challenging for her. Even more so when Tom systematically probed and teased every sensitive spot he knew of. He could see her eyes pleading him to stop teasing, but he only smiled as he continued his inspection. "You have a lovely pussy, little girl. Present your ass now."

Again Ruth had to move her body, obeying the guidelines he had set out for her in the Rules. She squeezed her eyes shut in helpless anticipation while she pressed her cheek against the floor, her arms crossed on the floor, slightly above her head. Her legs were open wide and her ass was as high up as she could push it. Seconds ticked by before Ruth felt Tom's hand caressing her cheeks and then disappearing, replaced by one finger dragging across her asshole. Her ass clenched at the touch and she moaned.

Ruth wished Tom would finish the inspection. She wished he'd never stop. It felt so embarrassing, but there was nothing that made her feel his like this. Nothing she could hide, no way for her to go against him. All she could, all that was left, was to submit.

"I'd love to keep playing with your tight little ass, little girl, but I need to move on. Present your mouth no."

With fluent movements, Ruth returned to the position she had started her inspection in. She looked up at Tom with a dreamy expression and opened her mouth. He crouched in front of her and hooked her cheek so he could check up on her teeth. When he was finished, Tom pulled Ruth in for a kiss and she responded with an enthusiasm born from a deep-seated need to comply to whatever it was he wished her to do.

"You passed your inspection, little girl. I have no complaints. You're a beautiful woman and I'm proud to have you."

A radiant smile appeared on Ruth's face and she said, "Sir, can your servant ask you a question?"

"Yes, little girl."

"Can I hug you?"

"Of course."

Ruth came up and jumped Tom, wrapping her legs around his waist. She grabbed handfuls of his hair and kissed him with a passion that surprised him. He responded with the same level of intensity and walked his horny little girl over to the bed. Cursing to himself that he still had his pants on, Tom shirked them off and saw Ruth lying on the bed, her arms stretched out above her head and her eyes aflame with lust. He knew what she wanted. He hadn't planned it out this way but that didn't matter. Right now he wanted the same as her.

Tom descended on Ruth and slammed his cock inside her soaked pussy in one powerful stroke. The sudden, violent intrusion made her groan, but any sound coming from Ruth cut off when Tom started slamming his cock into her tight slit. She clamped her arms and legs around him, using her whole body's strength to pull her pussy up to meet his cock. Before long Ruth was coming, screaming out her pleasure as Tom continued driving his cock in and out her slit for a few minutes longer until he froze on top of her, the intensity of his orgasm overwhelming him for a moment.




Calm Ch. 01



When he caught his breath again, Tom said "Little girl, that was incredible. It's a pleasure to see you come like that. You're so beautiful."

Ruth still felt a little lightheaded after her massive orgasm and it took her a while to process his words. She shot up when what he'd said trickled through, and her eyes widened when she realized she hadn't asked for permission. "I didn't ask, Sir!"

She scrambled to get on her knees so she could lower herself and ask for forgiveness. When Tom stopped her from moving with a simple gesture, Ruth felt torn between obeying and begging for forgiveness. Today was her chance to be perfect for him, she couldn't mess it up now. Tom got up from the bed and said, "It's okay, little girl. No need to worry. Today is a reward for you. Come as much as you want. I want you to. Rest for now. I'll be back in a while, I need to go get some things."

Tom left Ruth there, and she sprawled her arms and legs wide apart, letting her warm body cool down. She stared up at the ceiling and wondered. Her pussy wouldn't calm down. Memories of other times he'd kept her guessing kept her on edge. By the time Tom got back, Ruth was sitting on her pillows to the right of his armchair, squirming.

Tom had a small ice bucket with him and Ruth's gift from the liquor store. Traditional limoncello on ice seemed perfect to sip right now. He poured two glasses, and pet Ruth's hair as she let the intricate flavor of lemons, sugar and alcohol play over her tongue. They spent long moments in silence, enjoying how close they were.

The cold touch of an ice cube to her collar bone startled Ruth. A cool drop rolled over her skin. It ran its course down her body, invigorating every piece of skin it traveled across. Tom slid the cube further down and teased her nipple, making it stand up. When he let go, it slipped all the way down to her pussy. Tom rolled Ruth's cold nipples between his fingers and gently massaged them, warming it up again. "Go lie down on the bed, little girl."

Ruth dragged her feet when she left his side and went to lie down on the bed. She could still see Tom from the corner of her eye, he hadn't moved. Did he plan on staying there? She heard the soft clink when Tom threw a fresh ice cube into his glass. He stood up, sat down on the bed next to Ruth and drained the last limoncello from his glass. Ruth could see the glistening ice rest against his lips through the frosty glass.

Tom held his glass above Ruth's chest and tipped it just enough to drop a cube into his hand. She gasped when cold drops fell onto her skin. Her nipples hardened when Tom ran the ice cube over her lips, and she could feel the slippery surface on her soft mouth. He held still, and Ruth put out her tongue so she could accept it into her mouth. She closed her eyes as she felt the cold cube play around in her mouth. The icy water made her tongue tingle.

Her teeth crunched through the ice when Ruth felt Tom's fingers circle her clit. The tiny residue of cool moisture left on her overheated nub made her let out the cutest little moan. The crushed ice melted in her mouth while Tom closed his lips over her poor little slit, granting it some well-deserved heat. Ruth opened her thighs for him, but he pulled back. Too soon.

He leaned back and held his glass over her again, travelling all along her body. Her eyes followed the glass, where was he going to tip it over? Which part of her would feel the delicious shock of cold? 

Ruth moaned when the drops hit her hot pussy. Tom hovered the ice cube above it, letting more drops fall down but he didn't touch it to her sensitive slit. She groaned in protest when he moved away and smiled. "You're so beautiful when you're like this, little girl."

The warmth of his compliment spread inside of her as he put the ice cube against her throat. All her attention was drawn to the unfamiliar touch. Tom headed further down but stopped short of her breasts. He lifted the cube off her skin and took each nipple into his mouth, nibbling and sucking them until they were nice and sensitive. She hissed when he pressed the ice cube against one of them, her pussy fluttering at the sensation.

Tom traveled further down, his eyes locked on hers. She knew where he was going, wanted him to go there. Wanted him to do whatever he wanted. He circled her navel a few times and chuckled when he found Ruth's legs already spread wide for him.

When he finally made it to Ruth's pussy, Tom bypassed it and teased her thighs with the ice cube. She pushed her hips up as much as she could, trying to lure him in. He smiled and said, "Little girl, show me where you want me to put this"

Ruth bit her lip and shook her head.

"Open your pussy for me, little girl."

Ruth blushed at his demand and shyly put her hands on her pussy lips, pulling them apart a little. Tom smiled and slipped the ice cube inside. She gasped at the sudden cold tingling. He rubbed her clit and the heat and the cold mixed, swirling inside of her. "Do you want more, little girl?"

She looked down at her pussy and bit her lip again before she nodded. "Yes, Sir."

Tom rubbed her clit a little harder, pushing her closer to the edge before stopping to get a fresh ice cube, which he cradled with two fingers and put in front of her pussy. "A little wider, little girl."

A surge of excitement and embarrassment coursed through Ruth when she pulled her pussy lips apart a little further. Tom pushed inside and curled his fingers upwards, rubbing the small ice cube against her sensitive insides. Her eyes widened, and she moaned in pleasure, even louder when he touched her clit again. "Don't come, little girl."

Tom picked up what he was doing, rubbing her clit harder and faster and fingering her in honest now. Ruth felt an orgasm boiling up inside of her, but she had to hold back. She wouldn't come without permission again. Her pleasure was his to give. She wanted to come when he told her she could, wanted to come for him. 

But it was hard, Tom wasn't making things easy on her. Her hips were pumping up, and she grabbed her nipples, twisting them in her passion. 

"Squeeze harder, little girl."

Ruth let out a loud moan as she did as he told her. The pleasurable pain shot down to her pussy and mingled with the pleasure Tom was giving her. She wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer. She was so close. "Sir, Please. May your servant come?"

"You may not. Don't stop what you started, little girl."

She groaned when she obeyed and started teasing her own nipples again. Somewhere in her brain she had the faculties left to curse herself for being so good at playing with her own body. She fell into the rhythm he was setting inside her pussy. The ice had long since melted and all that was left was pleasure and heat. Fire had spread all over her pussy and nipples. She wanted to come so badly. Her eyes begged him to let her.

Tom shook his head and slowed down what he was doing. But it didn't help, Ruth was so close to the edge that as long as he kept touching her, she'd stay there and topple over whenever he wanted her to. She felt like she was in the palm of his hand as he sat between her legs, completely relaxed with his brown eyes focused on her. She could only imagine what she looked like. "Please, Sir. Your servant can't take much more."

"Sure you can." He slowed down even more, making her whimper. Tremors started in her thighs, her breathing was labored.

"Please, can you tell your servant how much longer, Sir?"

"I have all the time in the world, little girl."

Ruth closed her eyes, fighting back a particularly strong wave of pleasure. "Is there nothing your servant can do to change Sir's mind?"

Tom smiled and sped up his fingers a little. All control over her hips was lost. Ruth pumped her pussy up and down, sideways, whatever her instinct told her felt best.

"There's one thing that could convince me. If you tell me a fantasy you haven't told me before, I'll let you come."

Ruth's eyes snapped open and she looked at him, momentarily stunned. For several long moments, both of them stopped moving, but Tom wouldn't have that. He started his endless teasing again, "Tell me and imagine it at the same time."

Images formed in Ruth's mind, making it even harder for her to hold on. Her chest was heaving as she clenched her muscles hard, clinging to her self-control.

"I'm waiting, little girl."

If she hadn't been glowing red from the exertion of holding back for so long, she would have burned red with embarrassment at having to tell him her fantasy in the state she was in. "I want to ride your face, Sir."

Tom sped up a little and said, "Do you now?"

"Please Sir, can your servant stop touching her nipples?"

"You cannot. You will do the very best you can to please yourself."

Again she groaned, he knew all too well she'd been sparing herself. But now she couldn't do that anymore. When he saw her hesitance, Tom sped up again. The tremors spread to her stomach as the effort of holding on overwhelmed her. He dragged his tease on for longer than Ruth imagined possible, slowing down and speeding up until finally he gave her the permission she yearned for. "You can come now, little girl."

Ruth's response was instantaneous. An awesome orgasm ripped through her as her body uncoiled. Her back arched, and she felt her own juices run down her legs, she jerked and shook, letting out incoherent sounds specked with screams and moans. When the incredible pleasure died out, she was weak and incapable of even thanking her master. Tom smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of Ruth's flushed face. "Rest, little girl. We can go on later this evening."

He sat down in his chair and refilled his glass. When Ruth tried to get out of bed and go to him, he put down his glass and got up. It was easy to pick her up and carry her over to her spot next to his seat. She was exhausted and fell asleep with her head on his lap.

When Ruth woke up from her nap, she was in bed, tucked in. Tom wasn't in the room. What was in the room was a camera on a tripod. Immediately, her breathing sped up. She vividly remembered the last time he'd filmed her. Tom had said she could use a video of her training to help her understand what she was doing. Her response hadn't escaped him and he'd asked her if she wanted him to have a copy. She'd said yes. He'd gone further and asked her if maybe he should show her video to some people who'd be very interested to see her in the positions she put herself in.

The mere thought of somebody watching what she'd done, getting aroused by it, had made Ruth hotter than she could easily explain. And now that same camera was standing there, looking at her. Ready to film her. The memory washed over her and she felt her pussy get wet again. Ruth forced herself to keep her hands under control. She couldn't risk making it harder on herself to hold back, but damn was it tempting to throw caution in the wind.

Tom came back into the room and grinned when he noticed the flush on Ruth's face. "I can see you remember."

Embarrassed, she avoided his eyes and said, "Yes, Sir."

"Do you know what you'll be performing tonight?"

"No, Sir."

"Are you sure? You told me not too long ago."

Tom watched her expression turn from confusion to realization, on to embarrassment and from there to undeniable arousal. "Really, Sir?"

He stepped closer to her and tangled his fingers in her hair, gently but firmly. He pulled her head back and gave her a strong, deep kiss. "It doesn't matter what position I put you in, your pleasure will always be mine."

A quick press on a button was all the prep need, and Tom laid down on the bed, with his head pointed towards the door. "You'll be facing the camera, little girl."

Ruth felt herself trembling, her arousal was skyrocketing too fast. All he'd need to do was touch her clit with his tongue and she'd gush all over his face. She'd clean him up afterwards, of course she would, but it would be a waste of such a rare opportunity. She glanced at the camera, very much aware of what she must look like. 

"Straddle me, little girl."

Ruth swung her leg over Tom's face and looked down, distracted by the unusual point of view she now had. All she could see were Tom's dark brown eyes looking up at her, she towered over him. Ruth smiled and lowered her pussy to Tom's mouth, but his voice lashed out to stop her. "Stay as you are, little girl."

Her body stopped moving immediately.

"We have to show the camera something special, don't we?" His hands reached between her thighs and he used his fingers to spread her pussy lips. "I think your audience deserves a peek at your beautiful pussy. Slip two fingers inside, little girl."

Ruth swallowed as her eyes connected with his. Tom might be lying underneath her, but he wouldn't let her do anything he didn't allow. She obeyed and pushed two fingers inside of her pussy. God, she was so wet already. Nothing had even happened yet. She saw her own fingers disappear between his and she moaned softly as she found her sensitive spots. Her control was splintering, and her devious fingers pushed her towards an orgasm way too fast.

Tom's voice pulled her out of her haze. "Slow down, little girl. Make it beautiful."

It was such a typical command for him that Ruth smiled as she trailed her fingertips over her clavicle. She knew he liked it when she lost herself in teasing. It wasn't a secret she often dragged out her fun when he allowed her to masturbate. What if Tom ever invited some men to watch her video while she was there? They'd see her like this. They'd know she liked to perform. Each one would want to touch her. Jump her. For minutes, Ruth was lost in her fantasy, fanning the flame burning inside of her without adding more fuel.

That couldn't last. Tom put one finger against her asshole and pushed inside. Ruth groaned and pushed back, taking it deeper. Their fingers met through the thin membrane separating her two holes, and she couldn't help imagining two of the men watching her video come closer and bend her over so she could take both their cocks inside of her. Ruth pushed more of her fingers in her pussy and felt Tom do the same in her ass. She felt stretched out and full and her control slipped. Her free hand rubbed her clit furiously and she knew she was close. She was going to come.

Tom suddenly yanked her hand away and pulled her pussy down onto his mouth, he sucked her clit into his mouth and pushed a third finger in her ass. His tongue flicked her clit in time with his thrusts into her asshole and Ruth toppled over the edge. Her body shook, and she clawed for one of the bedposts to keep from falling over as waves of pleasure wracked her body.

Her hand was torn loose when Tom grabbed her waist and pushed her backwards. She rolled onto his stomach and felt his rock hard cock push into her back. He flipped her to the side and said, "Little girl, push your knees against your breasts and hold them."

Tom got to his knees and put the tip of his cock against her asshole. He pushed it in a little faster than he should have, but Ruth didn't mind in the state she was in. "Where's my cock, little girl?"

"In your servant's ass, Sir."

"Do you want me to fuck you in your ass?"

"Anything for your pleasure, Sir."

"Are you going to come with my cock up your asshole?"

"Only if you let me, Sir."

Tom smiled and said, "Show the people watching how much you love it."

He fuck her then, slowing down occasionally to give her a rest. But it was hard for him to hold back, he wanted her. Wanted to feel her come around his cock. "You can let go of your knees now, I give you permission to come."

His words hadn't left his mouth or Ruth's hands disappeared between her legs. Tom sped up his fucking and spanked her ass cheek hard, sending a shock through Ruth. "Please, Sir! Spank your servant more! Fuck her ass! You're making me come! Fuck me!"

He slammed his hips forwards and spanked her ass raw every time he pulled back. Faster and faster until Ruth exploded in orgasm. Her ass rippled and clenched around his cock, and Tom grabbed her hips, using them as leverage to fuck her ass at a blistering pace that finally let him spew his load inside her.

Tom leaned forward over Ruth and looked down at her, panting. Her eyes were dreamy, and he loved the little smile on her face. She looked beautiful and happy. He pulled out of her and laid down next to her. She crawled closer to him and tucked her face into his shoulder, wrapping the rest of her body around him. He stroked her hair and said, "That was wonderful, again."

"Thank you so much, Sir. This has been such a wonderful day. I don't think I'll ever forget it."

"You talk like it's over already."

She raised her head off his shoulder, peaking through her messy hair. "It's not, Sir? I'm really sensitive after all that."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll give you some rest before I start again."

Ruth glanced at the door and made a move to roll on her side, but Tom grabbed her shoulder and rolled her right back against him. He laughed when he heard her whimper. "I'm not done with you for a long time yet, little girl. If you expect me to let you go, you'll have to try harder."

She wanted to pout or groan, but she couldn't when he was so obviously in a great mood. It would sting tomorrow, but she didn't want today to end either, so she nestled back in her favorite little nook. When she finally made it to the door later that night, she didn't have the strength to open it. Tom accepted her touching it as enough proof she was done for the night. He held her close to him that night, feeling that that was the last thing she needed of him that day.

***

Ellie opened the front door and it surprised her to see an officer standing there. His uniform made her uncomfortable. Why was he here?

"Miss, is this the Duval residence?"

"Yes, officer. I'm Elizabeth Duval. Did something happen?"

"It's about your little brother, he was hit by a bus. A boy from his football team recognized him. The driver said he suddenly swerved onto the street and he couldn't avoid him. Miss, I'm very sorry to tell you, but he didn't make it. He died on the scene."

The words wouldn't compute inside Ellie's head. She understood Jef had been in an accident, but she couldn't understand that he was gone. Not now, not when she could almost leave this place and take him with her. Nobody would ever know about the beatings. 

No, no, no! Not Jef, it couldn't be him!

"Officer, you have to be mistaken. He can't be dead."

"It's not official yet. I'm supposed to bring a relative with me to identify the body. But, please Miss, the testimony of the other boy was convincing. Don't get your hopes up or it will hurt double as much."

"I have to go see him?"

"If you'd like, you can call someone else. But we generally like to do this sort of thing quickly so the families don't have to live in doubt. Again, I'm really sorry, Miss. Would you like to call someone?"

Who would she call? Father? To see him cry false tears? No. Ellie steeled herself and hung on to whatever strength she could muster to keep from crying. She'd cry later. For now she had to be strong. She took several deep breaths and opened her eyes again. "Please take me to him, officer. I'll leave a note for my father, he's at work now."

"You don't have to call him?"

"No, officer."

He looked at her for a second and then nodded. Ellie went with him to the morgue and she was thankful for his silence. She couldn't handle words right now. Her little brother's name echoed through her mind over and over. She saw him ride his blue bike on his way back from watching the birds, eager to tell her which ones he'd seen. The picture slowed down when he hit a bump in the road, and he gasped for breath as a jolt of pain shot through his chest. Frame by frame she could see him swerve onto the road. She saw his eyes widen as the bus drew closer and closer...




Calm Ch. 01



She closed her eyes, she didn't want to see any more. Why hadn't she tried harder to stop him from going out in his condition? Why didn't she go with him? A ten year old shouldn't even be going out on his own. It didn't matter if he'd been going to school on his own since he was six. He was just a little boy. She lived for his happiness. And now he was gone.

Ellie couldn't hold back her tears in the morgue. When the mortician solemnly revealed the little face she knew so well, she collapsed. She screamed out her grief. The two men were uncertain about what to do, but they let her weep in solitude. They waited patiently and didn't say a word. Ellie was grateful for that.

They didn't ask her questions, instead she filled out the forms in silence. The officer gave her the papers they'd need and delivered her back home. When he walked her back to the front door, Ellie suddenly hugged him. He was surprised, but he hugged her back. She clung onto him and drank in the simple gesture of kindness. "Thank you for being kind, officer."

"You're welcome, Miss. I do what I can. I'm very sorry for your loss."

Ellie watched the squad car leave. A normal man, probably a father. She wondered if he would've taken her away if he'd asked her to.

***

The crowd at the funeral was as small as the coffin. It wasn't large enough to absorb the sobs wracking Ellie's body as her father sat stoically next to her. They had few relatives, but there were some colleagues from her father's work, and the boys from the soccer team had come to pay their respects. 

When Ellie saw their little faces as they filed into their seats, she burst into tears. She just couldn't shake off the memory of Jef running and laughing with them. He wasn't even good at soccer, he just loved it. He had friends there. Friends he didn't have at school. Boys who treated him like a normal kid.

She'd never hear him say 'I'm okay' again, and she was torn about what to feel about that. Should she be happy that he'd never hurt again? She didn't know, her pain was too overwhelming to think about his suffering. There was no need for her to buy games with her allowance now. She'd have to wait forever now for him to ask anything of her for the first time. She would've bought him everything he wanted. If he'd just asked. But he never had.

All that was left of her family now was her father. And she'd seen the looks he cast her way change. It used to be either fatherly pride or twisted lust. Now the anger born from guilt over the death of his wife was slowly being aimed at her. There was no one else. He'd driven his wife to the edge, and just about shoved his son under a bus. He'd kill her as well, she was sure of it.

And why would she stay? Jef was... It was too much. 

Ellie went numb and silent at home, unable to do anything. Her father couldn't get her to respond to him so he left her to herself. He excused her at her hobby clubs and made sure she fed herself while inside the desire built. She looked so much like the woman he wished her mother had been. Sara had been the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid his eyes on and it had thrilled him to conquer her. It took her some time after they'd married to realize he wasn't normal. She tried to stop his affairs but nothing worked. Their child didn't keep him home. She no longer interested him.

So she covered up for him, ashamed that anybody might find out. She drank. She fled to whatever hobby club she could find. Anything to get away from the prison of her life. And then the bomb shell hit. Six years into their marriage she was pregnant again. She didn't even remember fucking him. She didn't want the baby. Didn't want to be pregnant and bloated. Even more unsure about herself and unable to drink any more, she fled even further into hobbies. They became her life. 

Near the end of her pregnancy, she caught him again. Her control broke and she got drunk. On her way to bed she fell down the stairs and hurt her leg bad. When little Ellie found her, Sara had gone into labor. Ellie panicked and ran all around the house to find her father, but he wasn't there. Sara almost fainted before she could calm down the hysterical child and have her bring a phone.

At the hospital they performed a C-section, the baby had priority. They caught the embolism caused by Sara's fall too late. It caused a severe bleed and they could only save the baby.

Ellie pieced the story together as she grew up. Why her father hated Jef. He couldn't handle the guilt. He'd killed his wife, and now he'd killed his son, and if Ellie stayed too long he'd kill her too. Her tears stopped as she realized that it was time to leave. She had to get away from the monster that had ruined her life. The disaster that had destroyed her innocence and had now swept away the only thing she cared about.

As she stood before Jef's grave, Ellie laid a beautiful twig of white lilac on his cold tombstone with a promise she'd do what he no longer could. She'd live. And she'd be happy.

***

Ellie was lost and frightened. Running away didn't seem like such a great idea anymore. Her father never let her wander about in town, instead he'd drive her to wherever she needed to be. She recognize none of the street names she'd come across for the past hour. Her heart went cold at the thought of having to call somebody to come find her. She shook her head and kept on walking. 

If only she had somewhere to go. She hadn't dared to look up any places to stay on the internet, afraid that her father would find out somehow through her computer. She regretted waiting until his night out to leave, but that was the only time it would take him hours to realize she was missing. It was dark now. The street lights had switched on hours ago.

Terror shot through Ellie when she felt a hand lock around her arm like a vice and a second hand covered her mouth. She was dragged backwards into a dark spot. Ellie kicked behind her, and she elbowed the man behind her, tried to free her head, anything. It didn't work. The man let her go and gave her a little push to unbalance her before punching her temple with full force. Pain shot through her head and she collapsed onto her knees.

The man pushed her further down on her belly and yanked her jeans down, impatient to get his hands on her. Ellie was too groggy to do much about it. All she really noticed was the sudden cold on her naked legs. Her thighs were roughly spread apart, and fresh pain speared through her. Ellie's mind unclouded and she screamed in agony. The man slapped her and put his hands over her mouth, muffling her constant wails.

More overwhelming than the pain was the horrible knowledge that this monster had taken the last thing she could truly call her own. Her father had always felt the inexplicable need for her to remain a virgin. He fucked her anywhere but her pussy. 

Remembering her father made it easier to drift away from the horror and the pain. She'd blanked out so many times before. Ellie's body went limp as she shut out everything happening to her. She hardly noticed when the man disappeared some time later, exposing her to the cold again.

Slowly, Ellie returned to a muddled state of consciousness. She was disoriented and struggled to button up her jeans. She had no idea how terrible she looked as she stumbled away from where she'd just been raped. Her vision was woozy, and she stumbled past some people who gave her disapproving looks. When she felt she couldn't go on anymore, she found an apartment building that had an alcove in front of its entrance. She could stay there, sheltered from the wind. She didn't want to think of what she'd do next.

Ellie startled awake from her exhausted stupor when a hand shook her. "What?"

She saw the face of a man and she shied away, pressing herself into the corner of the alcove. The man looked back at the woman standing behind him and said, "Call an ambulance, Ruth."

"No!"

He looked back at Ellie, surprised at her shout. "Miss, you're clearly hurt, and I think you went through more than an accident. You need medical care."

"Not in the hospital, he'll find me there."

"Who will find you?"

"No hospital, please. I'll go, just don't call, please."

Ellie tried to get up, but the man stopped her with a gentle push on her shoulder. "You're not going anywhere in the state you're in."

She looked up at him, fear evident in her eyes. He quickly pulled back his hand and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. What I'm trying to say is that I can't let you wander the streets like this. If calling the hospital will make you run away, then I have no choice but to take you inside. I'll call a doctor I can trust, and she'll take care of you discreetly. Is that okay for you, Miss? And can you stand and walk?"

Ellie nodded and stared at the hand he held out to her. She moved her legs and a sharp pain forced a strangled sob from her throat. Tom looked down and saw a pool of blood between her legs. His teeth ground together in anger, but he tried his very best to not let it show. He turned around to Ruth and said, "Ruth, call the doctor. Tell her it's very urgent. I'll pay her whatever extra she wants. This girl here is bleeding, and she needs treatment asap."

Bleeding? Ellie felt around with her hand.

between her legs and when she brought them back up there was blood on her fingertips. Her eyes went wide. What the hell had happened to her? 

Tom turned back to her and in a very soft and soothing voice he said, "Miss, I can't let you walk for yourself. It might cause you to bleed more. I'm going to lift you off the floor and then I'll carry you to the elevator. We'll go up to my loft and I'll put you in bed. Please stay very still until the doctor comes. Do you understand, Miss?"

Ellie was still staring at her fingers and it surprised her when Tom asked her something. She turned her unfocused eyes towards him, and he repeated everything he'd just said, slowly and clearly. She nodded and he picked her up. Tom could feel her tense up in fear and pain, and he did his best to whisper soothing little words to her. He took one tentative step to check if it hurt her, but she didn't respond at all. Worried, he walked faster and sent Ruth ahead. He hoped things would be all right for the girl in his arms.



Calm Ch. 02



Hi reader,

This part is very low on sex and very high on emotion as a consequence. There is one delightful scene in there for Tom and Ruth, so i hope you'll enjoy that as a welcome break from the other stuff that's going on.

You've gotten to know Ellie by now. Since you're reading this, you must've been interested enough to read more about her. Thank you for that. I can't express why very well, but it's very important to me that anybody in Ellie's situation gets all the help she needs. And all the patience she needs.

Enjoy your read and don't forget to vote and comment. Comments let me know what you think and votes make it so more people read my story, which is the whole point.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE: I'm looking for people who want to beta-read the whole thing (not looking for an editor). This means leaving some remarks and comments on each scene, so I can get input from outside my own head to point out anything that's unrealistic, confusing or dubious. Contact me via PM if you're interested.

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Chapter 2

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Ellie woke up and both her head and pelvis throbbed along with her heartbeat. She squeezed her eyes shut to deal with the pain and failed to suppress it. Her breathing sped up as it hit her just how much she was hurting. 

A voice next to her startled her. "Elizabeth? I'm glad you woke up. I've been worried about you, it's already 5 PM. There are painkillers on the table next to you."

She grabbed the sheet of pills, still half blinded, and swallowed one. She was about to pop a second when Tom's hand closed over hers. "Only one, they're strong for somebody your size."

Ellie jerked her hands back and watched him, her eyes squinting because of the pain her sudden movement had caused her. Tom sat in a chair next to her bed with a book left open on his lap. "My name is Tom. I carried you up here last night. You were badly hurt. My fiance washed you along with a female doctor I called here. The doctor looked you over and took samples you can use later to file a report. She was also adamant about giving you a check-up to see if you caught any infections or STDs. The results will be in soon. 

"I abbreviated your name to Ellie for the paperwork, instead of using Elizabeth. I hope that will be enough to reduce your fear of being discovered. Tomorrow, an officer will come to visit you and to take your testimony. This doesn't mean you'll be forced to file a report, I just wanted you to have everything needed in case you wanted to. You can go with the officer and he'll find a place for you to stay. Did you understand everything I said, Elizabeth?"

"Please, don't call me Elizabeth. Ellie, I like Ellie. Call me that, please."

"All right, Ellie. Did you understand?"

She nodded, careful to pace herself.

"Whether you decide to go with the officer or not, you're free to stay here until you're healed. If you need anything, I work from home most of the time so I'll be around to take care of it. Is there anything you need right now?"

"Do you have water?"

"There's water, some fruit and some treats in the little cupboard next to your bed. Anything else?"

"Do you have something for me to read?"

He lifted his eyebrow and said, "Are you sure you can read?"

"I don't know, but I need to do something now I'm awake."

"I'll bring you my spare laptop."

Tom stood up and made his way to the door. Ellie's voice stopped him and he turned around. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

The genuine smile that lit up his face startled her. "You're welcome, Ellie. I'm glad to help."

She stared at the door after he left. In such a short time she already knew he was nothing like her father, and that this small room could be her safe haven for the coming weeks. There would be no danger of anybody coming through the door and hurting her. Her relief combined with the numbing of the pain killer, and she drifted back to sleep, relaxed for the first time in a long time.

***

Ruth put down her cup of coffee and stared hard at Tom. "What are we going to do about Ellie? She's been here for a week now, and I don't think she's planning on leaving soon."

He looked back at her, a thoughtful look on his face. "I've been looking around for a shelter or some kind of family for her, but I'm not sure what to do. She needs to go back to school as well. I know she's a stranger, but I can't throw her back out just so she can repeat the same thing again."

"Do you even know what school she goes to?"

"She won't tell. She says she can't go back there because her father will wait for her there. I don't know, Ruth. Maybe we should contact the police again? I think she's hiding something terrible."

Ruth nodded and crossed her arms, frowning. "I think you're right, but it's not our responsibility to do something about it."

Tom shrugged and said, "We can put things in motion, that's not a huge effort."

"As far as we know she ran away from home after a fight with her father and had the misfortune of running into a rapist. What happened to her is terrible, but imagine what her parents must feel like. She's been gone for a week now. And still she won't call home, not even a quick phone call to tell them she's somewhere safe. Who knows, her parents might've gone to the police and given her up as a missing person. We could be committing a felony because we're hiding her. She's underage after all."

Tom ran his hand through his hair and looked Ruth in the eye. "What do we do then? When she gets better, she'll need professional help to deal with what happened to her. And if she fled home for a reason other than puberty, then she'll need help even more. How do we know she'll get that support if we send her out there to people she doesn't know?"

"It's not like we know her."

"True, but we've taken care of her. We've held our distance. She must have at least a modicum of trust in us."

"Where are you going with this, Tom?"

Tom threw up his hands. "I don't want her to go anywhere unless I'm certain it's a good place. Something feels off. The way she begged us not to take her to the hospital doesn't sit right with me. She wouldn't have done that if she was running from a fight with her parents. If anything, her problems at home should've been nothing compared to being raped. 

"I don't care who you are, but if something like that happens to you, I think you'd want your family to be there for you. But she begged us to keep her father from finding out where she was. I don't know... I have a bad feeling about the whole thing."

Ruth paced back and forth, her arms still crossed. "This is not a kitten we're talking about. This is a young, very beautiful woman who possibly has very serious issues. We can't take responsibility for her. Once she gets better, we'll find a place for her, that much I agree with."

"Please don't make me leave."

Both of them turned to see Ellie standing in the doorway. Her legs trembled with the effort it took her to stay upright. Tom quickly pulled out a chair for her. She sat down and caught her breath while Tom and Ruth shared a concerned look. 

Tom crouched in front of Ellie, looking up into her tired eyes. He could see red rims around them, she'd been crying. "Ellie, you need to understand we're concerned about you, but we don't think we can take care of you. We want to help you find a place to stay. Maybe if you called your family they could take care of you. I'm sure your mother and father are very worried about you."

"No! I won't go to school, and I'm not calling him."

"All right, what about your mother?"

"My mother's dead."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"My brother died as well."

Tom looked up at Ruth, trying to find any help there, but all she could offer him was a sad look.

"If I go back he'll kill me too."

"What? Who would kill you?"

"My father."

An alarmed look came to Tom's face. "Did he threaten you?"

Ellie shook her head. The pain her memories caused her evident on her face. "He goes out and does things, filthy things. My mom knew, but she couldn't stop him so she started drinking. Then my brother came, and she didn't want him. She fell down the stairs, drunk. She had a bleed while she was in labor and died. My father hated my brother for killing her, but it wasn't Jef's fault. It was father's fault for making mom drink. He was mean to Jef. The poor boy would always run away somewhere so he could hide."

A sob broke off her story and Tom wrapped one arm around her so she could have something to hold on to. After a while she continued, but her voice was shaky and quiet. "Last month he ran away and..."

Her nails dug into Tom's arm. "He... He was hit by a bus and he died. He was hurt really bad, and they said he suddenly swerved his bike. It had to be because he was hurt. And now I'm the only one left who Father can kill. As if he hasn't done enough to me already."

Silence descended on the room, interrupted only by Ellie's soft sniveling. Tom and Ruth's eyes met, their expression calm and serious. They both felt there was more to the story. More things they didn't want to hear. But they'd listen. "What about a foster family, Ellie? They can protect you."

"He'd find me and take me away. Please, don't send me away. Nobody knows I'm here and it has to be that way."

Tom closed his eyes, her body trembling against his. "And what about your other family members?"

"They don't like us. I never see them. They don't even send Christmas cards. They probably know about father, but they never helped me or my brother."

Tom sighed and stood up. He held out his hand to Ellie and said, "Ellie, I'll take you to your room now. Ruth and I have to talk about this. It's not something small you're asking of us. We hardly know you."

Ellie went back to her room with her head down and her shoulders slumped. Her back told them she was already preparing for the worst. Tom looked over at Ruth and saw the strain he felt reflected on her face. "Do you want to go out for a walk?"

"Yes, I'd like that a lot."

They went for a long walk, talking very little. The problem they faced was obvious to them, even though they had no idea of its exact magnitude. But there were other things to take into account. They felt for the girl. As caring people, they felt a need to nurse her back to good health. It was a difficult decision to make, but one they'd commit themselves to. If Ellie agreed to certain conditions, then they'd take care of her for a few months.

When Tom and Ruth got back, they found Ellie asleep. The poor girl must've been exhausted. They tucked her in and had a quiet night together, both afraid and determined for what was to come.

***

The next morning, Ellie didn't dare move in her bed as she waited for Tom to speak. Her eyes shifted from Tom to the wall and back. Her heart was thumping. This was it. She'd know if she'd be safe or not.

"Ellie, Ruth and I have talked about what you're asking for and we've decided to help you."

He held out his hand to make it clear he wasn't done yet. Ellie sat there for a second with her mouth half open before she settled back down, apprehensive of what was to come. "However, there are certain conditions. These conditions are not up for discussion. If we're doing this, then we're doing this in the best way we can. First off, we'll find you some professional help. You'll try your hardest to let this person help you. You can always talk to us, but you don't have to. 

"Secondly, you said you don't want to go back to school. We'll allow that, but you'll have to take your exams outside of school. We can arrange that. 

"Thirdly, we like our privacy as a couple. So please don't go into our bedroom or into the room behind the storeroom unless we tell you it's okay. Apart from that, just use your common sense. Contact us immediately whenever something happens. Really, contact us and we'll get to you as soon as we can. And if you need something, anything at all, just ask."

This time Ellie remained quiet, not sure of what to say.

"You'll be living here for a few months, until you graduate high school. Please don't expect us to act like doting parents. We'll be available and we'll care for you, but we have our own lives to live. What do you say, Ellie?"

"Yes."

Such a short answer. Tom had trouble reading Ellie's expression. She might be happy or sad, it was hard to tell. He felt like she needed time to arrange her thoughts, so he stepped outside of her room and into Ruth's arms. Ruth looked up at him and said, "Are we sure about this, Tom?"

"If we didn't do it, we'd regret it. Even more so if something happened to her again. We'd wonder about her all the time."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I think you're right."

"Let's hope it works out for her."

***

Ruth folded her arms against her chest as she stood next to Tom, watching the book Ellie had left behind on the couch while she went to the restroom. "Has she said anything today, Tom?"

Tom shook his head, "No, she reads a lot and kind of follows me around. I think she feels more at ease when she's in the same room as me."

"She won't talk to me unless I talk to her first."

He put his hand on her shoulder. "I know, Ruth. Let her. She's still getting used to things here. This is probably the first time in a long time she's been able to relax."

"I guess, I just get the feeling she doesn't like me very much."

Tom smiled and pulled her close to him. "Don't worry about that. Give it time and she won't be able to resist liking you."

Ruth nuzzled his shoulder and shuffled a little closer to him. 

Ellie came back from the restroom, and her eyes scanned around until she found Tom. She lingered longer than she normally did, taking in the way Ruth was sheltered against his body. When her father hugged her, she'd always been stiff as a board, not able to relax in the slightest. A mixture of wonder and envy stabbed at her chest every time she saw how naturally Ruth received the care she needed.

She settled down and opened her book, staring at the words but not reading. Her thoughts slowly churned and then faded away as she started taking in the words on the page again, losing herself in the fantastical world on the pages. The residual pain in her pelvis was pushed back and ignored. She stopped reminiscing, her awareness limited to the present.

Ever since Ellie had started walking again, things had gone like this. Before, Tom would visit her in her room at least once a day and ask if she wanted to talk. If she didn't, which was mostly the case, he'd simply open a book and read in comfortable silence. Ellie didn't know how he figured out she didn't want to be alone even if she didn't want to talk, but she was grateful. Later on she came to rely on his calm, steady presence. 

She caught herself casting quick glances to survey the room, noting where Tom was and what he was doing, thinking about what he might do next. A thought struck Ellie and her book fell from her hands when she realized she was doing exactly the same thing as she'd done back home. She'd always been desperate to know what her father would do. If she knew, she might be able to avoid some of the consequences.

Her hands started shaking, and she jumped up and rushed to her room so she could hide. She'd never thought about it before. It was just something she did. What was she looking for when she checked up on Tom? Ellie curled up in a ball, cursing herself over and over for unconsciously thinking Tom would hurt her. She hated herself, hated what she was. What her father had made her into.

Back in the living room Tom picked up Ellie's book and closed it. He looked at Ruth and shared a look of pity and confusion with her. "What do you think she was thinking?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"That makes two of us. You think we should cancel dinner tonight? It might be best for us to stay here for her."

"Yeah."

"I'll call the restaurant."

***

Tom picked through the mail and held up a large brown envelope. "Ellie, the results of your tests came back."

"What tests?"

Tom frowned and handed her the envelope. He'd expected her to be more anxious to learn the results of her STD tests. "It says on the envelope."

Ellie opened the letter and her expression clouded. She stared in front of her and seemed to drift off. Tom hurried over to her and gently shook her shoulder. "Ellie? Ellie!"

Her eyes regained their focus, and she looked at Tom, confusion apparent in her face. "It says I have gonorrhea in my vagina, Tom. How can I have gonorrhea there? I've never had sex like that before."

Tom felt out of his depth. What was he supposed to say? "Ellie, come sit here next to me."

She shuffled closer to him and sat down, the papers held tightly in her fist. 

"What do you remember of the night Ruth and I found you?"

"I remember being on the floor, hurting a lot. I think I must've tripped and fallen on my stomach, I don't really know."

Tom closed his eyes and took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he had to say. "You didn't fall, Ellie. A man assaulted you. He raped you and gave you gonorrhea."

"No."

"Don't you remember telling the officer who came by about a man hurting you?"

"No!"

She sprang up from her seat, every move she made somehow exaggerated, violent. "I'm still a virgin, Tom! It's all I have left! Don't take this away from me, please. I'm a virgin. Please."

Tom shook his head. "I'm sorry, Ellie. I won't lie to you."

Ellie stopped her pacing and stared down at the papers in her hand. Her eyes reaffirmed what she could no longer deny as the truth. Her voice was quiet and broken when she spoke again. "No. I don't want it. I don't want to be sick. It's not true, it can't be! Father took my mouth and my ass, but he always said a woman should keep her virginity as a gift for the one she cared about. Like mom did."

Tom couldn't quite gauge Ellie's emotions when she looked at him again. Hurt, emptiness and building anger flickered across her young face. Slowly, more and more of the paper got crumpled into Ellie's little fist. Her body got tenser as the paper compressed into an ever tinier ball. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. Suddenly, Ellie jumped up and shrieked. Her body doubled over as she squeezed out every ounce of rage inside of her and screamed her agony out into the world.

Tears blinded Ellie as she alternated between screaming her anger and pleading for everything to be a lie. But she couldn't deny the truth. Her memory of that night rose from the fog clouding it. Every minute, every second she recalled fueled her anger even more. Tom sent her to the playroom, and he left her there after leaving her some things she could break or punch.

Ellie threw her whole being into fighting her memory. At first she wanted to deny it. She failed. The rage at her own lack of power didn't allow it. She'd ran away to be safe, and the first thing that happened was just as brutal as what she escaped.

The moment Ellie thought back on her father and on why she eventually ran away, she exploded. The weight of years of memories flowed out from her body and into everything she could hit in her environment. She shrieked her throat raw at the thought of Jef's funeral. She screamed 'murderer' over and over.

Ellie raged until she couldn't go on any longer. She was nowhere near finished, but for now she'd exhausted herself, and she fell back into misery when her fury could no longer sustain her. She lay sobbing on the floor when Tom's strong arms picked her up and carried her out of the room. He took her with him to the couch and cradled her in his lap. Ellie clasped her hands tightly in his shirt. If her voice hadn't been shot, she'd have bawled like a little child. Her body yearned for his warm embrace, and her tears wet his shirt through and through. 




Calm Ch. 02



Tom soothed Ellie until she calmed down. "Before you go back to your room, I want to tell you that if you get bored with throwing things at walls, you can ask Ruth or me to teach you some self-defense. It's good exercise if you need to vent."

A watery smile appeared on Ellie's tear streaked face. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Would you like to go to bed now?"

"Yes."

"Would you like me to tuck you in?"

Suddenly, she felt like a shy little girl, and she buried her face back into his shirt before nodding.

"I'd be happy to."

***

Ellie hadn't been dealing well with regaining her full memory of what happened the night Tom and Ruth found her. She had no way of dealing with the emotions those test results unleashed. Furious at her father and blazing with anger, all she wanted was to smash stuff and to scream. Stomp her memories over and over until she felt like she could handle them.

But her confidence crumpled the moment she stopped raging. She fell into a deep, black hole every single time. She tried everything she could think of to escape her grief, but she couldn't. Her tears blurred her eyes when she tried to read. Food nearly made her throw up when she forced it down her throat. She spent hours hugging herself in her bed. With every passing day she looked worse. The intensity of her emotions was so unfamiliar to her, so consuming, that she felt like they hollowed her out from within.

Ellie refused to go into the bathroom. The sight of her own body in the mirror became more than she could bear. She cursed her own beauty. Cursed the fact she looked even remotely like her beauty queen mother and hated that she couldn't find a single blemish on her skin. She messed up her hair, but it made no difference. 

Every day, Ellie stood in front of the mirror with Tom's single bladed razor in her hand. She'd press the edge against her cheek, the urge to slash her cheek warring with how much she hated admitting her father had broken her. Slashing her cheek would prove it. No. She would not be defeated by her own looks.

Time after time, Ellie threw the razor down into the washbasin, her hands clawing at the cold porcelain. Each time, she put everything back in place, afraid someone would find out. And then she'd go to Tom's study and grab a book with a title she could hardly understand, and she'd bury herself in its contents. Knowledge. That was how she wanted to prove herself. Not looks. Her brain felt feverish as she devoured page after page of things she didn't understand.

But she kept going, she read and reread pages until she felt she got it even a little bit. She lost sleep, and the light shining under her door at night didn't go unnoticed.

For a few weeks Ellie felt like a piece of driftwood tossed around by the chaos swirling inside of her. When a few days had passed during which she seemed more subdued, Tom approached her. "Ellie, come sit with me."

His tone was friendly, but still it brooked no argument. She sat down in front of him and looked him in the eye.

"I have a few things for you. The first is a book about dealing with what I think you've been through. I've been over several since you arrived here, and I think this one was written with a lot of background experience and care. I also have a journal for you. Use it whenever you feel like writing something down."

He slid a heavy, leather bound journal over towards her. "It's sturdy, so you can throw it if you'd like. Read the book. I'm sure it can be useful for you."

Ellie picked up the journal and put it down again. She'd never kept one before, and she doubted she would do so now.

"Lastly and most importantly, here are your appointments with a specialized therapist and a few group meetings. You can go to each meeting and get a feel of the group, see if one or more suit you."

She looked down at the papers he slid to her, making no move to take them. "What if I don't want to go?"

"Then I drive you to the place anyway, and we'll sit there for the time the session would normally take. You'd be wasting both our time. So please co-operate."

"And if I don't stay put in the car?"

"Then I walk with you."

"What if I run away?"

"I'm confident I can outrun you any day of the week."

"What if I start screaming?"

Tom looked at her with a sad expression. "Does the thought of telling anybody about what's tearing you up inside make you so frightened?"

Ellie's challenge to him dissolved immediately when she realized he'd seen through her. She nodded. Tom took one of her hands in both of his and gently squeezed. "I think it'll be difficult for you. At the same time I think you'll be relieved afterwards. That therapist knows so much about what you can do to help yourself. Use that. You're being offered a start of a way out. Grab it."

Her voice was quiet when she answered. "I'll go, but can you stay in the car anyway?"

Tom nodded and smiled. "I can, at least the first few times. I'll bring a book."

It relieved him to see her answer his smile with a little grin, brief as it was.

***

The dojo was empty but for Tom, Ellie, Ruth and her Aikido instructor, Charlotte. Tom knew Charlotte was a great teacher, and she'd be another strong woman for Ellie to learn from. The skills she taught were valuable for a girl like Ellie. After they'd warmed up, Tom said to Ellie, "I do Krav maga. It's about awareness and quick elimination. In a way, it's a test for aikido. Aikido is flows and adapts to find a position to incapacitate the opponent. It sounds passive, but someone skilled will move in, floor and detain an unsuspecting opponent before he realizes what hit him."

He saw the confusion in Ellie's eyes and sighed. He pointed at Ruth and Charlotte. "Ruth does aikido, and Charlotte is her teacher. I'd say Ruth is pretty skilled by now, but she's no match for me yet. She just doesn't have the experience. Charlotte on the other hand... I've sparred with her before and she's slippery. 

"I could knock her out with a well-aimed punch, but it has to connect first. My goal is to efficiently overwhelm an enemy. The worst opponent for me is someone who can dance around all that bluster. Someone like Charlotte. She's taught me a lot."

Tom cast another glance at Ellie, and she was still standing there, her arms crossed with a frown nestled on her forehead. He looked Charlotte in the eye and said, "Could you pick up a large pad, please?"

Charlotte nodded and picked up a thick block of padding. She took a relaxed stance and prepared for the attack. Tom blazed forward and his first punch boomed against the pad. At the same time the punch hit, he used the elbow of his other arm to slam against the pad with his full weight. Charlotte grunted at the heavy impact and then toppled when Tom used her moment of imbalance to floor her with a second punch.

He helped her up and asked, "Your turn now?"

Charlotte grinned and rolled her neck, jumping up and down a few times to limber up. They took the same positions as before, without the pad this time. The second run was hard to follow. Tom threw his punch, Charlotte moved and grabbed Tom and before Ellie even saw what happened Charlotte had floored Tom and locked his arm in place. He tapped the floor and she released him.

"Do you see now? She's not that much bigger than you and she can do that to me. When I join them for training I usually spend my time being thrown around and locked in all kinds of positions."

He winked at Ruth and she blushed, trying not to let Charlotte notice.

"What do you say, Ellie. Are you interested?"

Ellie was intrigued to say the least. She was so angry all the time, and she wanted something that would help her work it out of her system for good. She was tired of crying herself to sleep. Anything to just blackout in exhaustion. She hated her memories. "Yes. Can I do this every day?"

Tom's eyebrow lifted, and he looked at Charlotte. Charlotte shrugged and said, "I'll check my schedule. I don't do Sundays though. Plus if she wants it that intense, she'll have to follow my instructions to the letter or she'll only hurt herself."

"You heard her, Ellie."

Ellie gave Charlotte a look and nodded. "I'll do what she tells me to."

Tom watched Charlotte walk out the door and hoped that she could be around Ellie as much as possible. She was such a strong, admirable woman. Ellie needed examples in her life, an idea of what she could become through hard work.

"Ruth, will you show her how to warm up? I'll go do my exercises in the back. Shout if you need me."

"Okay, Tom."

Charlotte paused in the door to watch the two young woman spar together. One was slender, the copper strands in her hair gleaming in the light. The other was a vision of female beauty, but Charlotte couldn't sense any of the poise and calm that Ruth possessed in the younger girl. Ellie felt raw to her, full of conflict. She'd be a challenging pupil. Charlotte hadn't asked Tom to reveal the girl's secrets, but she had a pretty good idea where she was coming from. It wasn't the first time she'd seen it. 

She stepped back onto the mat and clapped her hands to draw attention. "Ellie, from now on you'll come here five days a week. Training will not be too intensive, given the frequency and how inexperienced you are. I'll give you guidelines on how to treat yourself at home. Ask Ruth to clarify anything you don't understand. From now on you call me sensei, do you understand?"

"Yes, sensei."

"Good, now let's get started. Tom, we won't be needing you today, but could you wait around to pick up the paperwork?"

He nodded his head and continued what he was doing. The next hours were incredible for Ellie. She'd never even realized what her own body was capable of. She cursed herself for giving in to her father so many times, for letting everything happen when she didn't have to. As the session went on, Ellie became more angry and violent and Charlotte had to calm her down more than once. Eventually, Charlotte scolded her and had her sit down on the floor to impress the philosophy of aikido onto her.

Regaining her self-control would be a struggle for Ellie, but she'd learn.

***

Tom sat working at his desk. Ellie was reading in the armchair in his study as usual when she closed her book with a soft thump and said, "Tom, do you think I'm pretty?"

He turned away from his laptop, surprise evident on his face. "Of course I do. Why do you ask?"

"You never look at me the way a man looks at a woman."

Tom leaned back in his desk chair and saw her trembling. She was on the verge of bursting into tears. He gestured for her to stand up from his armchair so he could take her place and give her a lap to sit on. "Have a seat, Ellie."

She quickly sat back down and huddled up. He stroked her long, pale hair and said, "Ellie, I think you're exceptionally beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. There's nothing about you I would change. But think about why I try not to look at you that way. You know how we found you."

Ellie burst into tears and in a strangled voice, she said "You think I'm dirty, that I'm disgusting!"

She tried to push away from Tom and escape the room, but he locked her in with his arms.

"Ellie, calm down. You misunderstood. You were hurt. Things were taken from you that you didn't want to give. What would've happened if I showed interest in you as a woman? Could I take care of you then? No. You'd only become confused and hurt. Wondering if I was going to do the same thing. I couldn't risk doing that to you."

Tom squeezed Ellie more firmly against him. "I don't want you to ever be abused again. So I don't show you I find you attractive. I don't mention it. I do so because I care about you and never because I think you're dirty in any way. Your past isn't a layer of dirt stuck to your skin. All I wanted was to make things a little easier for you."

Ellie cried into his shirt without holding back, her body wracked with sobs. Fat tears fell from her flawless face as it twisted in a horrible grief that was too old and deep. Everything pouring out of her stemmed from the things still locked up inside of her. 

Her entire being had been forged by years of abuse and neglect. It had dried her out emotionally, so Tom's kindness touched her in ways she couldn't understand. It set flame to the restraints holding back the beast of her grief. Maybe one day she'd conquer it and bury it alongside her childhood fears, but today was not that day. Today it reigned supreme until her body exhausted itself.

***

Ruth stood in the center of the play room naked but for seven inch stiletto heels. Too high to walk in, but they made her legs look incredible. Tom took his time admiring her form before he told her what he'd planned for her. "Stand in the center of the room and put your hands in the back of your neck. Keep your legs spread and your chin up."

Ruth assumed the position he asked of her and felt her body respond to it. Having to keep her arms up toned the rest of her body, and she smiled when Tom nodded in appreciation. He took a heavy book and laid it down on top of her head. "Don't let it fall under any circumstance. In fact, I don't want you to move at all. Stay perfectly still, no matter what I do to you."

Unsure of whether she should answer him or not, Ruth played it safe. "Yes, Sir."

Tom flicked her nipple, and she gave a little jerk, making the book wobble. "Talking counts as moving. Don't say anything. Don't make a noise."

Ruth inwardly nodded her understanding, closing her eyes to enjoy the little ripple of pleasure spreading from her nipple. She opened her eyes again and wanted to see where Tom was, but he'd left her field of vision. Where was he? What was he planning? 

Her skin turned to goose bumps when she felt over a dozen soft caresses glide over her back. What was that? The touch disappeared. Ruth waited for Tom to walk around her but he kept her waiting. Again the unfamiliar touch grazed her, and she loved the way it felt. He walked around her, dragging the soft flogger along her side and then up her stomach so he could brush it along her breasts.

She'd expected a flogger to be more menacing, but this one seemed harmless. The long, beige handle covered in the same leather as the tails lay comfortably in Tom's hand. "I've never flogged you before, so I don't think you know what to expect. The flogger I have in my hand is made from deerskin. You can feel how soft it is, can't you?"

Tom let the tails slap gently against her inner thigh before dragging it back up. The sting was nothing compared to that of a crop. A sensual feeling, waking up her skin. She could feel the tingling spread from her thigh to her pussy, making her wet.

"This flogger is soft enough to flog you anywhere I want to."

The tails landed on her breasts and Ruth had to fight to keep back a gasp at the sensation. Her nipple felt like it would pop, overloaded by the sparks of pleasure coming from all over her sensitive breast.

Tom rubbed one of Ruth's hard nipples with his thumb, and she had to squeeze her lips together to keep quiet. "It's also light and doesn't bruise."

He leaned in closer to her ear and whispered, "I can use this for hours, little one, and I wouldn't even break a sweat, but I'm sure you'll find it a little problematic to keep that book on your head after a while. Do you want me to tell you what happens when you drop it? Blink twice to say yes."

She blinked twice, and he stepped around her, flicking his wrist so the tips of the flogger danced over her skin. She fought the desire to bite her lip, every tiny touch stung just enough to tantalize.

"This is an exquisite piece of work. The handle is smooth, and I'd have little trouble pushing it into your tight little pussy."

He pushed the flogger up between her legs, brushing her wet pussy. "But then there'd be a problem. I'd have no more tool to strike my lovely little girl. No choice but to use my hand."

Ruth shivered when his hand kneaded her ass cheek in time with the handle rubbing against her pussy. "My hand does hit harder than this flogger so you'd need a little extra support to keep from falling over in those shoes. It's a good thing that right above your head there's this little hole meant for an eye bolt. It's perfect for tying up a little girl that didn't do what she was supposed to do."

Tom pulled back and walked around to her front. "Blink twice if you understand."

She blinked twice, holding back a moan at the thought of what she was agreeing to. Any fantasies she might've had about her predicament evaporated quickly though when Tom started using the flogger to methodically wake up every single part of her skin. He ignored her breasts and her pussy for now, but even then her pussy was leaking with excitement. She felt the heat of her own excitement in her flushed chest and her hot pussy.

It was getting harder for her to think clearly. One soft hit to the hollow of her knee surprised Ruth, and her leg jerked. She froze as the book wobbled and relaxed again when it settled back down. But her moment of rest didn't last long. Tom chose that moment to hit her pussy for the first time. A strangled moan escaped her throat. Her breathing was fast and it amazed her how intense the hit had felt. It didn't hurt, instead it set her pussy on fire.

"That was a noise, little girl. First you move and then you make a noise." Tom shook his head in disappointment and said, "Let's try again."

He landed another hit on her pussy, followed closely by hits alternating between her inner thighs nowhere near her pussy. Ruth stood with her eyes closed, letting everything wash over her. Her lips were pushed tightly together to keep any little noise from escaping, but she couldn't help but hear her own breathing as she sucked in air through her nose. A little more of this and she'd need more air.

Her body was in turmoil, struggling against the urge to move, against the overwhelming desire to beg for more, more, more. Tom took a step back and focused on her breasts, slapping each one in turn. They started to glow a soft pink. Ruth gave up on holding back her noises, panting as she was. Little moans and yelps escaped her as she grew hotter and hotter. When the tails of the flogger brushed past her pussy again she could hold her orgasm back with only the greatest effort.

"You can't get what you can't ask for, little girl. You're not allowed to come from this." Contrary to his words, Tom did his best to get her off. Ruth was getting desperate, and it took everything she had just to keep still. If she came she'd not only disobey, but also almost certainly drop the book. She was trembling and almost didn't notice when the flogger stopped lashing her. When she opened her eyes to try and find Tom, she couldn't see him. Looking straight ahead was all she could do without dropping the book. She didn't know where Tom was until she felt him blow on her soaked pussy. A load moan escaped her and her pussy clenched in desire.

Ruth wanted to beg Tom to not touch her and definitely not lick her. It would be too much. Tom seemed to read her thoughts and then did the opposite of what she wanted. He slipped two fingers inside of her pussy and locked his lips over her clit. Ruth held her breath, waiting for the moment her resistance would be broken. But it didn't come. 

Tom pulled back from her clit and said, "Little girl, you've passed the test. You can come now. If you can keep the book in place through your orgasm, I'll give you a reward."

With that said, he attacked her clit and mercilessly flicked it with his tongue while his fingers teased her sensitive insides. It exhilarated Ruth that she'd done well, and she let the pleasure burst through her. Her body shook and wobbled, and the book fell on the floor. Ruth didn't care. She screamed her heart out, tangling her hands in Tom's hair to keep herself steady as she humped his face and rode the waves of ecstasy.




Calm Ch. 02



Tom stood up when Ruth had calmed down and pulled her in for a kiss. He glanced down at the book on the floor. "Maybe next time."

Ruth's pussy clenched at the thought of another round of this, and she yelped when Tom slung her naked body over shoulder. He checked if the hallway was empty and then carried her over to the bedroom. She wouldn't be getting any rest just yet.

***

Ellie peeked at Tom from behind her book. She was reading in the armchair in his study. "Tom, you and Ruth had sex last night."

"I'm well aware of that, yes. We're a couple after all."

She regretted blurting out what was on her mind already, but the damage was done and she kept going. "You do it a lot."

Tom's eyes narrowed a little, and he said, "I guess, it's a big part of our relationship together. We love to give each other pleasure."

"Could you show me what it feels like?"

Ellie's voice trembled as she asked the question. She had no clue where she wanted to go with this. All she knew was that Ruth seemed so happy every morning and even more so when she knew they'd had sex. Ellie didn't understand how that was possible.

Tom looked stunned and said, "What? No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"Ellie, I didn't take you in so I could have sex with you. That was never my intention."

"You have to."

The words felt true to her now she'd asked him. She was desperate to know what it could be like, and he had to take care of it for her. Tom didn't seem to share her conviction, and he frowned. "And why is that?"

"I need to know that there's more. More than father did to me. I need to know I'm not broken. I need to know somebody wants to be with me. That I'm not filthy trash. I need to feel like somebody likes me."

Tom leaned forward in his chair, his attention focused on Ellie. "Do you not feel liked here? Ruth and me took you into our house to care for you, isn't that enough proof?"

"No, I, it's just that I don't..."

Tom held out his hand, putting a stop to her confused muttering. He got up and rested his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her. "There's a lot of ways to show you care about somebody, Ellie. It's true that part of how I show my love for Ruth is sexual, but it runs deeper than that. Ruth loves the sex we have, but to her the most important thing about it is knowing she pleases me when she tries her best. I encourage her and reward her so she knows I appreciate her. If it was just about getting off, we wouldn't put in so much work."

He pet her hair and the look on his face changed into something softer. "There is more, Ellie. So much more. You survived your past and still came out whole enough to have some hope, some interest in the future. You have time to find out about what you don't understand right now."

Tom paused and closed his eyes, breathing deeply as thoughts and doubts clouded his mind. He opened his eyes again and had to face the pain evident on Ellie's innocent face. "I think you're asking me because you want to feel close to someone, but I won't do it. What if you saw me like you do your father? I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'm sorry, but I can't do what you want me to. But we can do something else. Maybe cuddle up while we watch a movie? Go for a walk? I'm going for a run in half an hour or so, you want to come with me? Maybe have a hot tea when we get back?"

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure, Ellie?"

Ellie nodded, her arms wrapped around her. Tom pressed a kiss on her forehead, and Ellie walked away, wanting to be alone to unravel the twists in her mind.

***

Ellie sat in her room, staring at a picture Tom had blown up for her. It showed a massive lead grey cloud tinged with dark green. A promise of blinding lightning. Violent thunder would follow it and drown out any other sound, making it impossible to ignore the ongoing clash in the sky. 

Tom hadn't said a word about why he gave her the picture, but Ellie had an inkling. She caught herself staring at it when she was thinking about her father. During those dark moments, unanswered questions and useless frustrations balled up into a boiling cloud of anger. The picture acted as a catalyst, drawing her out of her apathy and forcing her to face her anger.

She'd find herself sweating in the exercise room behind the pantry, kicking and punching over and over until she was drenched and longing for a hot shower to sweep over her bone tired body.

It was just a small thing he'd done for her and yet she wondered if he realized what he'd made possible. Now, staring at the picture, she didn't think of her father. She didn't feel angry or frustrated. Her eyes wandered over the patterns hidden in the clouds, trying to follow them but losing track time after time. 

The things Tom had said worried her, was it true she confused love and care with sex? She'd never felt loved by her father. He was always preoccupied with his obsessions so she'd hide from him and cling to her little brother. The only times he got close to her were when he wanted to touch her.

Her eyes unfocused as realization hit her like a truck. Tom was right, she wanted him to touch her. She wanted to feel close. She felt humiliated and dirty. What did it mean? Did she want her father to come to her? Was that why she never said anything, why she just kept enduring what he did to her even when she knew it was wrong? Why she never realized she could say no, because deep down she didn't want to?

Ellie was angry with herself, with the small girl who'd been so stupid and powerless. All she ever wanted was just a normal father, someone to love her. And she'd forever be stuck with being horrified by something that could've been so beautiful for her. A primal scream tore from her chest, shredding the silence that had settled down in her room. 

No! This would never do. She punched the wall with her bare fist and howled at the pain as she stormed from her room, ripping open the doors leading her to the exercise room.

Tom picked Ellie up from the floor when she'd fallen down in exhaustion. He carried her to the bathroom and carefully undressed her before sliding her into a hot bath. He took her blood splattered clothes with him and left behind a set of bandages and some disinfectant salve. 

The first sobs tore from Ellie's throat as the door clicked shut behind him, and she was still sobbing when the water had long since gone cold.

***

Ellie looked vulnerable when she entered Tom's study. She curled up in his armchair and said, "Tom, I want to tell you about myself."

Tom stopped what he was doing and got up. "Wait just a minute. I'll make tea and get some cookies. Maybe you'll want them later. I'll be right back."

When Tom got back, he put a platter on the low table next to his armchair and made to go get his desk chair, but Ellie stopped him. "I want to sit on your lap, Tom."

Tom nodded and she got up so he could sit down. If she wanted this, he wouldn't deny her. After she sat down, it took Ellie long and difficult moments before she could suppress the urge to run and hide and to instead muster the courage to start talking. When she finally did, her words were clear and steady.

"Mom died when I was seven, so I don't remember her very well. She wasn't home much so father took care of me. Sometimes I wouldn't see mom for days, because she'd be out drinking or she'd sleep past the time I left for school. I know now that father was why mom drank, but I didn't figure it out until years after she died. Back then he never did anything to me, and I thought he was the nicest daddy ever."

The tightness of her grip on his shirt told Tom how much she still struggled with those memories. 

"When I was six years old, mom got pregnant again. She wanted an abortion. Father didn't. They fought about it for days, mom screaming it was all his fault and throwing things at him, while he kept refusing. Mom relented, but she was horrible to father. He never complained, just took care of her. Sometimes he'd take me in his arms and whisper that once the baby was born, mommy would be nicer and more like a real mommy. 

"I don't remember much from around Jef's birth, but I do remember father standing over his crib, crying. Mom had died in labor. She was gone. Father raised Jef on his own, but he didn't love my brother. Didn't hug him after he changed him. Didn't pick him up when he was crying. Nothing. So I started sneaking in after father to pick up Jef and to hug him."

Talking about how she used to hold Jef hurt Ellie, and she looked for solace in Tom's arms, in the soothing warmth of his body. Closeness had been so rare for her that it meant a lot for her to just be able to sit and be embraced. It gave her the strength to go on.

"Over time, things got worse. Jef was a quiet boy at home, always trying to avoid father. Every little mistake he made was badly punished, until he didn't even have to do anything wrong anymore. I tried to soothe Jef after he was beaten, but father wouldn't have it. He'd only beat Jef more if he found his dear daughter spending time with his cursed son. 

"Mom was his obsession, and he made me do every hobby she'd ever taken up to run away from him, driving me everywhere I needed to be. I never asked for it, but I knew that if I refused he'd somehow make it Jef's fault. Father never drove Jef anywhere, the poor boy even had to ride his bike to school when he was only six. People asked about it at school, but father told them he wanted his boy to grow up strong and independent."

Anger permeated Ellie's calm as she thought about how Jef had crawled in bed with her after her father had sent him out on his bike for the first time, scared to go out in traffic by himself. She hated her father.

"Father had a way with people, always keeping up the appearance of a happy family. He'd done it with mom still alive, and he just kept on doing it. He started... touching me when I was thirteen. Puberty came early for me and I changed quickly. Father watched me more than he had before, and he kept saying how I reminded him of mom. I was going to a different school from Jef then. Jef still went to school by bike, while I rode along with my father. We left a lot later as well.

"The first time it happened was a Wednesday morning. Father asked me if I could do something for him. He opened his zipper and pushed himself against my lips. I didn't understand, but he kept pushing until I opened my mouth. He shot his stuff in my mouth and had me swallow it before he dropped me off at school. I threw up in the school toilets that day, so they called father. He picked me up and brought me home, saying my favor to him was our little secret and that nobody needed to know. Not even your brother he said. Jef never knew, and I'm glad he never did."

Ellie let go of Tom and leaned against him, back to front. She stilled as tears rolled down her cheeks, one followed by another and then another.

"I tried to do all I could for Jef. I'd make him crepes when we were home alone. It was his favorite. Always with brown sugar and nothing else. I loved the way he smiled when he ate them. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have made it through what my father did next.

"One day, father came up to my room, something he usually didn't do. He asked me for another favor, and I said no but he didn't listen. He pulled down my pajama trousers and my panties and pushed his thing into my ass. I was screaming so he shoved a pillow in my face and said 'You don't want Jef to know, do you?' It hurt so much. I cried and screamed into the pillow, hoping it would be over soon. When father finally stopped, he left me like I was when he finished. 

"I passed out and when I woke up I was in so much pain I could barely move. There was blood caked to my legs, and I waited until I could stand again before cleaning up my room, afraid Jef would see anything. I cried in the shower for a long time. It hurt so bad. It was all I could think about. 

"The next time father came up to my room I tried to hide under my bed, but he dragged me from under it and threw me on the bed. I begged him not to do it, told him it hurt too much. I even told him I'd use my mouth on him really good. Just not that. He left that night, and I cried myself to sleep because I felt relieved and dirty at the same time."

With every sentence, Ellie seemed to become smaller and weaker as she got closer to bearing the scared little girl at the center of her pain. Her voice went very quiet. Tom had trouble understanding her. "Ellie, maybe you should take a break? You've been talking for a long time already. Drink something. Have a cookie. Take your time to feel a little better before you go on."

The sweets pulled Ellie back from her apathy, but she still wasn't the bright girl Tom had seen glimpses of before. Ellie didn't wait long to continue her story, driven by a strange need to tell Tom everything all at once. 

"The day after father walked away, he was back, and I froze. I had really convinced myself he wouldn't do it anymore. But he did. He flipped me over and still I didn't move. Even with the lube he brought it hurt like hell. Sometimes he was almost nice, but other times when he looked at me like he looked at Jef, there was nothing he cared about. He was empty at those times. 

"Father never took my virginity. Just my mouth and my ass. He said mom would've wanted me to be a virgin when I married."

By now, Ellie's tears had come flooding back, but her voice had regained some of its life. Tom squeezed her against him, and she hid her face into his shoulder before she went on.

"Jef was still too young to understand what happened in my room. All he knew was that he had to avoid father went he left my room or he'd be beaten. Two months before you found me, Jef was hit by a bus. He'd been riding his bike after father beat him, and he swerved all of a sudden. Never had a chance. He died instantly. I knew he wasn't in any shape to ride his bike when he left, but keeping him home would've been cruel. I'll never forgive my father for what happened to Jef. 

"It felt like my heart got ripped out at the funeral. Such a sweet little boy, dead. I'd wanted to take him away from my father once I had a job and could afford a place to stay. But that can never be now. He never escaped. I felt nothing for weeks afterwards. I didn't even notice father had been leaving me alone. 

"Two weeks before I left, father tried to come into my room again, and I fought him. I was furious at him for letting his son die. He shouted back that Jef was a murderer and that he was glad to see the little bastard dead. I had to leave then, but I needed the cash from my account. He always gave me an allowance, while Jef got nothing. Father never found out I used it to buy things for Jef. 

"I withdrew the money, made my preparations and left on father's night out. I wanted to find a cheap place to stay in the city, but I got lost and I was looking for someone to help me when someone grabbed me. He forced me to the ground, and what happened next is still blurry, but I remember the cold and then the pain.

"All I know from afterwards is thinking I couldn't go to the hospital, or they'd call father and he'd come for me. I also know you carried me upstairs. The rest's vague. I know someone washed me and that there was a doctor. The first thing I clearly remember is your face and what you told me, the way you looked at me. Worried and sad. I didn't know you, but those few minutes told me so much about you. You said I was free to leave, but I didn't want to. And so I stayed. Because of you. I think I trust you. And Ruth."

"Come here, Ellie."

Ellie turned back to Tom and hid her face in his shirt. He put his arms around her ever so carefully. She seemed fragile as brittle glass. As if the years of abuse had hollowed her out. They had eroded her reserves, prevented her from being a normal girl. 

Tom picked her up, a featherweight in his arms. Back in his bedroom he settled in his bouncy chair and rocked Ellie like a small child. She needed a loving touch. Starved for the warmth that such closeness brought her, Ellie could feel safe encircled by his strong, familiar arms. As he stroked her back, Tom said "I'm sorry about Jef. Why don't we go see his grave, so you can tell him you're healing. Tell him you got away and that you're safe now. That when the time is ripe you'll maybe find somebody to love."

"No, Tom. I won't find someone. But I'll talk to Jef, I'd really like that. Thank you. Thank you so much. I never told anybody. You can't... I can't tell you how much this means to me. I just..."

Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. Neither of them moved, content to just enjoy the small pleasure of bouncing up and down in the bouncy chair. Tom stroked Ellie's back and said, "Do you think you could tell Ruth what you told me?"

"I... I'll try."

"That's plenty, Ellie. That's plenty."

Tom couldn't get rid of his sadness. Ellie had given up on love. She'd said as much. A provoking thought that made him feel out of his depth. How could he do anything about that? He didn't know, but he hoped he'd find out.



Calm Ch. 03



Hi readers,

This part will be similar in content to the last one. Mainly emotional scenes, but there is a set of hot scenes in there that I'm particularly happy about.

Ellie has revealed the full extent of her past now, and something like that is bound to leave ripples. 

I hope you enjoy the continuation of the story.

Remember to vote if you liked, so more people will find this particular story. And comment if you feel like you need to get something off your chest. I always like to read your responses.

*****

"Tom?"

"Yes, Ruth?" Tom could see the hesitation in Ruth's tight expression, in the way she hunched her shoulders. She wanted to say something important. He put down his book and sat down next to her in the couch, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. Ruth shuffled a little closer, taking her time to get comfortable and structure her thoughts.

"Tom, hearing Ellie talk about what happened to her just a few months ago... It made me think about my own past, about how I felt. It was never as bad as it was for Ellie, but still, I hate what happened every time I think about it. It took so long to recover, and I'm still not over it. I was so naive and stupid, but what can I say? He was my first big love. I enjoyed being with him until he changes and forced me into stuff I didn't want. But still, I could leave in the end. Ellie... She was stuck for so long... And even before her father abused her things weren't peachy."

Ruth stopped talking and curled up a little more, resting her face against Tom' chest. He stroked her back, calming her down and making her feel safe. When Ruth looked him in the eye again, her determination was evident in her expression. "I want to go back to that time, Tom. I want to do it again and this time I won't let him do whatever the fuck he wants."

Tom frowned and said, "And how do you plan on doing that?"

"You play Sebastien and I'll play myself, four years ago."

"Just like that?"

"Yep, just like that."

"This is important to you?"

"Yes."

Tom ran his free hand through his hair and closed his eyes, leaning back his head so he could stretch and think. It wasn't a small thing she was asking of him. He opened his eyes again and met hers looking up at him. "This could go very wrong, Ruth."

"I don't think it will."

"If I'm honest then I don't want to do it, at least not if it's a spur of the moment thing. But if you can honestly and with certainty tell me that this is something meaningful to you, then I think we should have a long talk about your expectations."

There wasn't a hint of a smile on his face as he looked down at her. This was serious business. Ruth flinched back from the intensity of his gaze and curled up again, pushing herself closer to him. She didn't feel quite as certain anymore. Maybe this was a bigger deal than she had thought it was. Quietly, she said, "I'll think it over some more."

"Take your time, Ruth. I'm not sure you'll be prepared for the backlash. Reliving difficult times is hard. We can do it, that I'm sure of, but you can't underestimate it."

"Have you done anything like it before?"

Tom lifted her into his lap and kissed her on the top of her head before answering. "No, but my gut is telling me to be cautious and so I will be."

"That's not very helpful."

"My sincerest apologies."

She smiled a little and put her arms around her neck before kissing him. "You're right about me having to think things over, but I'm sure I'll still want it. It wasn't the best time of my life, but I'm tough enough to handle it now. You've made me stronger."

"Well, you know where to find me when you figure it out."

He kissed her back and gave her a firm hug, giving her what she needed to feel loved.

***

Tom found Ruth in the kitchen, pouring over one of her old books from her university days. He took a deep breath and focused on the role he was playing tonight. They had decided to do this, and he wanted to do it right. He walked up to Ruth from behind and put his hands on her shoulders. He leaned forward and whispered into her ear, "Babe, I put something out on the bed for you. I want you to wear it."

Ruth tensed as she looked up from her book, and she asked Tom in a soft voice "What is it?"

"Something you'll look really nice in. Just close your books and go put it on."

Tom's grip tightened on her shoulders and Ruth complied, marking her page before heading for the bedroom. A few minutes later she was back in shorts, a lumberjack shirt and a beanie cap. She'd already tucked her hair under the cap as her former lover had always asked of her. "Sebastien, I don't know about this. It's all at least a size too large. Did you really get my size wrong? I don't feel sexy."

Tom got up and took her in his arms, smiling down at her. "You look like a sexy little lumberjack. I love it."

He swept down on her and kissed her with a hunger evident from how he crushed her against him. Memories swept over Ruth. She recognized the hope that had always rushed through her at these times. A hope it was her he wanted, not some idea which she was the surrogate for. But things were never different. Soon, she found herself on her knees in front of the couch, letting his hand guide her head as it bobbed up and down his shaft.

One thing had set this day apart from the others. Her blowjob had been almost mechanical until Sebastien's phone rang. He'd picked up while she still had his cock in her mouth. She'd wanted to get up, but he hadn't let her. Ruth recalled how it felt to hear his voice turn joyful as he talked to his friend on the line. His hand became more insistent, forcing her to take more of his cock into her throat, pumping it faster. 

Tom threw the phone down on the couch, just as Sebastien had done and pulled Ruth up. She wasn't standing for long though because he made short work of her shorts and pushed her with her face into the couch. Ruth felt the cold lube on her asshole, and she couldn't take it anymore. No way would she accept where her memory was going. She turned around and punched the bottle of lube right out of his hand. "Sebastien! No!"

Ruth ripped off her cap and snapped her head from side to side, letting her hair whirl out to all sides in a cascade of copper and gold. She threw the cap at him and shouted, "You see this? This is a woman's hair!"

She tore open her shirt, exposing her breasts to him. Tom's genuine surprise at her outburst helped her to unleash more of what she'd held back for too long. "You see that? I have breasts, they might not be the biggest you'll ever see but they're there. You can't deny that."

Ruth braced herself and pushed Tom. He fell down, tangled in his pants. She kicked off her shorts and straddled him, leaning in close, her face inches from his. So close Tom could feel her labored breathing on his face. He could see the conflict raging inside of her, and he didn't struggle when she grabbed his cock and slammed her pussy on it. Ruth gasped in pain when the hard shaft invaded her half dry pussy, but she gritted her teeth and pumped her hips in silence, a few tears dripping from her cheeks. "You feel that? That's a woman fucking you. I'm a woman Sebastien! Not a boy! I hate you! I fucking hate you!"

Tom let her rage until he got worried she might hurt herself. He pulled her against his chest, locked his arms around her and gave her no choice but to calm down. At first Ruth kept on struggling, but as the physical and emotional pain seeped through, she couldn't hold back her emotions and burst into tears. It wasn't long before she was sobbing and shaking in Tom's arms, overwhelmed by the sheer strength of what hit her.

Ruth was proud of who she was now and reliving her past so vividly was a severe blow to that pride. She was ashamed, angry, sad and hurt. When she calmed down, Ruth said "I can't believe I let him do that. It seems absurd now, but back then I didn't see any other way to get his attention. I hate it, I..."

Tom pushed her face into his shoulder and shushed her. It was no use for her to keep going over what she didn't like about herself and her past. "We're not four years ago anymore, Ruth. You're mine now. My little girl. And I like to think I know what I've got in you. He wanted you to be something you're not and I won't allow that. How can you be your best if you're trying to fit your foot in the wrong shoe? You're a beautiful, strong woman. Not much more needs to be said, I think."

Ruth grappled onto him, accepted his warmth as the pain between her legs slowly leveled off. Her emotional struggle didn't stop though. His words were a beacon for, a sign she had indeed grown. But right now they didn't help her or make her smile. Right now she needed to make peace and forgive the troubled younger version of herself.

With effort, Ruth pushed herself up and when Tom tried to stop her with a concerned look on his face, she shook her head. "No, Tom. I want to be alone with this. I know that you're there if I need you, but you can't do anything right now."

"At least let me check if you're okay. You weren't particularly careful."

Again she refused him. "I'll take care of myself, like you taught me."

Tom closed his eyes, took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He nodded and said, "I'll be in my study. I'll put your pillows out, so you have a place to get comfortable. It's okay if you don't need me anymore tonight. Just tell me when you go to bed."

"Thank you."

He carefully rolled her onto her back and leaned over her, cupping her face before kissing her. "I wasn't sure about this at first, and I can't say I had any fun doing it, but I'm glad it means something to you. Use it, little girl. Use it to make yourself stronger."

Tom got up and left Ruth to herself, even though he didn't want to. His little girl was strong enough to make it through this. That strength was why he loved her.

***

Ellie walked into the living room and froze when she saw Ruth sitting in the couch with her hair disheveled and crying. The shirt she wore had fallen open because all of its buttons were torn off. Cold fear clawed at her stomach, her eyes widened and her breathing quickened. Did Tom hurt Ruth? She rushed forward and grabbed Ruth's hand. Ruth looked up at her with a sad look in her eyes. 

Ellie's voice was unstable when she said, "Ruth, are you all right? Did something happen to you? Did Tom do anything to you? Are you hurt? Oh god, we have to call someone, take you to a doctor..."

Ruth put a finger on Ellie's lips to stop her from talking. "You're a sweet girl, Ellie, but there's no need to panic. Nothing happened that I didn't want to happen."

Her sadness had faded into a warm smile. Ruth might look like a mess, but her calm expression told Ellie she was still the woman she admired. Ruth stroked Ellie's hair a few times until the young girl calmed down. She sat down next to Ruth and looked at her with eyes full of questions. 

Ruth acknowledged them with a nod and said, "I'll explain. A few years before I met Tom, I was with another man. He was a bisexual with a preference for men, but he didn't want to admit that. Still, he couldn't deny it and he used me to fulfill his desires in a way he could accept. It was a bad time for me, but I didn't know I could leave. It got worse over time, and still I clung to what little good I could find in him. 

"I didn't date for two years after I broke up with him, not until I met Tom. Now I'm different. Today I feel like I can be strong, but back then... there was nothing I could do. I hate those memories. I asked Tom to help me rewrite them in a way. We re-enacted the worst thing that guy ever did to me, but this time I didn't give in. I won."

Ruth closed her eyes and slowly exhaled. "It may sound weird, but I wanted to give that girl inside of me another chance. I wanted her to know that even if we get into that situation again, it won't end in the same way."

Ellie was quiet and just sat there, feeling numbed by Ruth's words. She wished she could do the same, but there were just too many memories blurring together into one muddled nightmare. She felt the weight of her past crushing down on her, forcing tears from her eyes. 

Ruth noticed and pulled Ellie close to her. "Ellie, sweetie, there's more to life than your past. I carry mine with me, but I've managed despite it. Look at me now, I ache and I'm a complete mess but still I'm proud. I've gotten through it. If I ever get into trouble again, I know I'll make it through again. You can do the same."

Ellie seemed to relax, but she still said nothing. Ruth wouldn't force her to, so she gave Ellie the quiet she needed to recollect herself. 

Slowly, the numbness left Ellie, and she started thinking again. She didn't like it when she drifted off like that, but it was part of her life and she was used to it. Ellie wasn't used to finding herself wrapped in someone's arms when she came back though, and the warmth of Ruth's body against hers soothed her. She gave Ruth a squeeze to let her know she was back and said, "Do you need to do that kind of thing a lot?"

"It was the first time, and the only time I think. I never thought of it before. But I'm glad Sir wanted to do it for me."

"Sir?"

Ruth hesitated before saying, "I meant Tom."

"Why would you call Tom sir?"

"Ah, well. That's kind of a complicated question."

"In what way?"

Ruth sighed and then just shrugged, no sense in hiding it any longer. "I call Tom Sir because I consider him to be my master. I belong to him, and I try to be my best for him. In return he helps me to actually be the best I can be."

A surprised look came over Ellie's face. "You mean like master and slave?"

"Something similar to that. We prefer to call it Master and servant since that implies a lot more independence and freedom for the submissive."

"Oh."

This time the silence was different. New questions distracted Ellie. "But you're a manager."

"I am, yes."

Ellie shifted so she could see Ruth better, and the 'so what?' expression on her face surprised her. "You make decisions every day you go to work. People listen to you. You're the boss. Why would you want someone that makes you do things?"

"That's not how it is, Ellie. He doesn't make me do things. He sets out rules for me to obey, offers me things to do and then makes sure I don't fail his standards. The thing is that what he makes me do is stuff I want to do. So in a way he takes responsibility for me bettering myself. If I ever feel like giving up, I know there will be a consequence and that pushes me onward. 

"I want to make Tom proud of me. It's great. When I'm working, I feel his hand in my back pushing me forward, and when I show him my results I see the smile on his face. And that's not even talking about the things we do in the bedroom. But I won't go into that."

As she talked, the glow of happiness on Ruth's face became stronger. It impressed Ellie with how different her own obedience had been. Her father had never spared a thought for how she felt about anything. 

Ellie got up from the couch and said, "I think I'll go back to my room now. I'm happy nothing bad happened."

Ruth watched her back disappear through the door, her shoulders hunched. She wondered what Ellie would make out of all of this. She stood up and made her way to the study. Once inside, she knelt to the right side of the door. Tom looked up when he heard the door open and said, "Do you want to talk, little girl?"

"No, Sir."

"That's fine. You can make yourself comfortable if you'd like to."

"Thank you, Sir."

Ruth made her way to the pile of pillows to the right of Tom's armchair and nestled herself on top of it. It wasn't long before she felt his hand on her hair, petting her. She allowed herself to relax and closed her eyes. This was her spot, her home. She smiled.

***

The following morning, Ruth woke up to a rare and unexpected treat. Tom was still in bed with her, his body nestled against hers. She closed her eyes and felt the rise and fall of his chest. It helped her deal with her thoughts about what happened the day before. There had never been a time like this with Sebastien, he could never just be with her because she might need him close to her. She squeezed her eyes shut at the tears welling up and curled up. 

Tom slid his hand along her arm and took her little hand in his. "Good morning, Ruth. I took a day off, and I called your boss. You have a heavy cold and should rest for at least two days. She hopes you'll get better soon. There's no hurry today, no responsibilities, no nothing."

Ruth pulled his hand up to her face and nodded against it before turning around and nestling her cheek against his shoulder. Today wouldn't be easy, but she wouldn't be alone either. After some time had passed, she calmed down inside and slowly but surely she felt the need to say something. "I didn't realize how bad it was. I've forgotten so many things. But now that we talked about it so much, thinking and preparing and then finally doing it all over again... I didn't know. It feels like I'm sad for someone else. Like I can't recognize myself."

She closed her eyes when his hand brushed along her hair. "You're not the only one. Yesterday opened my eyes to a lot of things I didn't see before. Things I'm glad I've learnt so I can understand you better. I'm proud of you, Ruth. You've been through a lot and you still made it."

"Do you think about me differently now?"

"When I think about you right now I get angry and sad, because of what happened."

Tom felt her hand grip his shirt tighter, but he continued. "And then I think about you as you are now. I think about what you were like when I met you and how much you've grown since then. You're still the same, but you're more now. My little girl takes pride in who she is. She made someone out of herself, no matter the past. When I think about that, I realize you have so much more to give than he ever took from you. So I feel angry again, then sad and the wheel takes another turn."

"Are you taking tomorrow off too?"

"I will if you need me too."

"I'd like that."

"All right. I'll let them know. Why don't we get out of bed for now?"

"Can we stay for a while longer?"

"Sure."

"And a kiss?"

"As many as you'd like, little girl."

Tom rolled Ruth on her back and kissed her gently, his lips just lightly touching hers. She didn't pull him in closer and he didn't press on. Their eyes only met briefly between kisses, but it was enough to tell Tom she wanted more of the same. He'd give her the soft touch she'd craved for in her difficult hours spent alone, waiting for the man she thought she loved to return while hoping he didn't. The warmth she felt now made her cry. 

Tom kissed away her quiet tears until the last had gone. "Would you like to go here and there today? Just some quiet places, nothing special."

"Mhm."

"Good, let's grab a shower first."

In the shower, Ruth enjoyed Tom's hands running over her slick skin, washing her the way she sometimes washed him. It wasn't just in the shower, the entire day felt like she was being cared for by someone who anticipated her needs almost too well. After having coffee and breakfast in a small cozy coffee place, they were walking in a nearby park when the sun broke through the clouds. Tom stopped and closed his eyes to feel the warmth of the feeble autumn sun on his face. 

He looked over at Ruth and smiled before grabbing her and folding his arms around her. "The summer sun is hot, and it's always too cold to feel the winter sun. In spring there's too much to distract you from the sun, but in autumn the leaves have fallen and there's just the wind and the clouds that hide the sun. It's wonderful isn't it? There's nothing like it, nothing else that's pleasant in quite the same way. Look around you, we're not the only ones feeling it."




Calm Ch. 03



Other people were smiling as the rays warmed them so unexpectedly. They walked past Ruth and Tom, not disturbing the two people locked in a gentle embrace, facing the sun. They stood there until the clouds hid the sun again and then continued their walk, strolling side by side, hand in hand with no particular direction in mind. Once, Tom asked if Ruth wanted to go somewhere, home maybe, but she shook her head and said she'd let him know. So onwards they went, occasionally talking or stopping to buy a warm treat.

It was nearing dusk when Ruth said, "Do you think it was my fault for letting it happen? For not stopping it or running away?"

"Can I get some time to answer that?"

"Sure."

"Let's go in here, I've heard they have great lasagna here."

A little while later, they were nursing a bottle of red wine and Tom gave her his answer. "It's true you could've gone away sooner. In theory you could've walked away at any time. But I think you know better than me that you're not the kind of person to give up on somebody she cares about, even if that person makes mistakes. You'd rather forgive than try to change things. 

"So was it your fault? Sebastien abused you because you were vulnerable, and the blame for that always rests with the abuser. Let the past be the past, little girl. If something goes wrong between us, then we'll share the blame. We'll talk it out and get through it a little stronger. That's something Sebastien could never do, because he's weak. You're not."

Tom noticed the look in her eyes as Ruth digested his words. She was about to cry so he stood up and joined her on her bench. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. "Should I ask the waiter to hold off on bringing our food for a while?"

She nodded, and Tom signed the waiter over. The rest of the evening and the following day went much the same, with Ruth slowly voicing bits and pieces of her doubts and fears, looking for answers and weighing what Tom had to say in response to her. His patience and warmth meant more to her than she could say, she felt it feed and renew her love for him. 

Ruth couldn't help running her fingers over her engagement ring when she thought he wasn't looking. And gradually, over those two days and the following weeks and months, her memories would fade and be overwritten. Reliving the past had hurt her, but she felt as if her master had plugged a dark hole inside of her.

***

Ruth and Tom were having a quiet night together in the couch, with soft music playing in the background. Nothing too special, just drinks and some small bites and snacks. Tom put down his glass and said, "I think something changed with Ellie. It used to be she'd always be looking down at her book, but now I've caught her watching you more than once. It's like she's studying you. I'm surprised she's not taking notes."

Ruth sighed and said, "I know. Sometimes I feel like she's about to ask me a question, but she pulls back at the last second every time."

"Did anything happen between the two of you?"

Ruth tried to avoid his eye, but he didn't let her and took her chin in his hand, leveling her eyes with his. "Is there something you'd like to tell me, little girl?"

"I might have told her about you and me and what we do. Not a lot, but enough to make her wonder I guess. She was so scared when she found me after we re-enacted my past, I had to give her something."

Tom leaned back into the couch and sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I guess it was bound to happen. Either way, it doesn't seem like she took it the wrong way. It's been a week now, if she still hasn't found the courage to ask her questions then she might need a helping hand. What do you think?"

"I don't know, Tom. What do you have in mind?"

"A little Q&A. We'll tell her the truth as long as she doesn't ask anything too private."

Ruth shrugged. "That's fine, I guess."

"Ellie! Could you come to the living room please? We'd like to have a talk."

Ruth's eyes opened wide, and she hissed, "Right now?"

"Now's as good a time as any."

Ellie came into the room after some hesitation. She had an idea of what the talk would be about. Still, she'd take the opportunity. Ellie sat down in Tom's chair, folded one leg beneath her, while hugging the other one and then looked over at them and waited.

Tom scooted away from Ruth and said, "Ruth told me you've discovered something we've been keeping from you. We don't see it as a secret, but we decided it would be better if we kept it private. But now you know, I think it's important you have some clarity. So, if there's anything you'd like to know, please ask us."

Ellie watched Tom for a moment before she shifted her eyes to Ruth. "Why do you like what he does to you?"

The question surprised Ruth, but it was an easy enough question for her to answer. "It's exciting."

"What do you mean, exciting?"

"Well, he makes me feel good, but I never know when I'll be allowed to come so tension builds up, which makes things exciting. And when the moment's there, the pleasure is just amazing."

Ellie frowned and said, "I don't understand. Sex hurts, there's nothing exciting about it."

"I wasn't talking about just sex. Sometimes he doesn't even touch me, he guides me with his voice and I touch myself for him. Surely you can understand that?"

Ellie shook her head and said, "No, I can't."

"Why not, don't you touch yourself?"

Ellie's matter of fact nod shocked Ruth. Pleasuring herself was the first thing Tom had made her learn. She could play her body like an instrument by now and she loved that she could. It was a precious gift to her. "But, why?"

"I wasn't allowed to. Father told me it's something good girls don't do, he said he'd never hurt me for it, but if he ever found out he'd have to punish me. He said it a lot of times when he came out of his computer room. He always looked so scary when he told me, so I never did it and I don't want to."

"Wha..." Ruth's words were lost in anger and offence. She couldn't believe the damage her father had done to Ellie. She wanted to speak up, defend her opinion on what it meant to love yourself, but Tom stopped her. Ruth struggled to keep quiet, but his look shut her down.

Tom had a calm expression on his face, and he said "So you've never touched yourself?"

"Never."

He took a moment to gather his thoughts and said, "Ellie, what you just said is very unnatural. Before the two of us were together, Ruth touched herself to get rid of her body's need for release. It was nothing more than that for her, and I didn't like that, so I helped her understand her body isn't just a shell she moves around in, but that it's in fact a source of wonders if she knows how to draw them out. 

"She enjoys touching herself very much now, and she's quite good at it. It's an important way for her to treat herself to something nice. From what you've told us, I think you have no idea what your body can do for you."

He looked sideways at Ruth and said, "Ruth, do you want to teach her? Give her your study materials or teach her yourself, it doesn't matter. Show her what she's been missing all this time."

Ruth looked at him, wide-eyed and surprised, but when she looked over at Ellie and saw the look of confusion on her face, any doubts she might've had faded, and she resolved to do what Tom asked of her. In a soft voice, she said "Ellie, would you like me to teach you?"

"I don't know, Ruth."

"Your father isn't here, he can't stop you. And I can guarantee you with all my heart that he said those things because of his own problems and not because there's any truth to it. Please, let me show you. I want you to have this."

The genuine concern on Ruth's face swayed Ellie. She had some vague idea of what to expect, but she'd soon found out how inadequate her expectations were.

***

When Ruth let Ellie go back to her room, the girl felt overwhelmed by Ruth's attempt to try and explain to her how wonderful and meaningful it was to give yourself pleasure. Ruth had struggled when she tried to explain how knowing she was being given permission to play with herself gave the whole experience an added dimension of being cared for. How Tom knowing about it made it into an expression of the many feelings she held inside instead of being a a lonely thing to do. 

From there she tried to talk about the rest of their relationship, but Ellie was long lost by then. In the end, Ruth gave Ellie the books she'd been given by Tom, and she told her to give them a read and try what appealed to her.

Overwhelmed, Ellie retreated to the safety of her room and stared at the books for a while. In time, she picked the top one off the stack and skimmed through. She didn't skim far though, didn't understand anyway. She put the books to the side and went to sleep.

The next morning, Tom and Ruth went out. "Ellie, you know how to reach us when something happens. The number's on the kitchen table."

"Yeah, thanks."

"We'll just be a few hours. Bye!"

"Bye!"

The door shut behind them and the click of the lock unleashed the previous night's pent up thoughts. Ellie hadn't slept well after going to bed. She couldn't fit what Ruth told her into what she knew. The things she spoke about, the sound of her voice and the look in her eyes as she did... it seemed too good to be true. She was afraid to know more, terrified of what it would reveal.

Still she wanted to try. She ran a shallow bath and slipped into the warm water, trying to relax. Ellie closed her eyes and tried to think of nothing but the spot her fingers were touching. She enjoyed the slick feel of her own skin and gradually her body started to anticipate the next touch. It was surprisingly fun for her to explore and discover spots that made her tingle.

Ellie got closer and closer to touching her most intimate place, and she lingered on her thighs, not because she was scared any longer, but because she loved the gentle stimulation. The heat of the water blended together with the brush of her fingertips in a sensual way.

She felt happy about what she was doing, and it gave her the confidence to try the thing she had found that seemed the most fun to her. Ellie turned on the hot water tap and scooted in the bath until the hot water clattered and twirled around her clit. Fire built inside of her as the heat of the water ignited something in her pussy. She moaned and rubbed her clit. A little harder. A little fast. On and on until the first orgasm of her young life slammed into her, surprising her completely.

Her hips bucked once and then she cramped up as her body shivered. Slowly, the pleasure ebbed away and her inner clockwork started ticking again. Dazed, Ellie stepped out of the water and dried herself off. She froze in the middle of her actions when she saw her own reflection in the mirror. 

The immaculate body she hated so much had given her pleasure on a scale she'd never experienced before. She knew how little effort it had taken her, so she knew she could do it again and that she could've done it before. And she would've, had she dared.

Violent emotion tore her from her daze. Never had her father given her any pleasure and now she knew he could have, all the pain he caused her felt doubly cruel. She mourned the lost opportunity for young Ellie, struggling with the weirdness of her changing body, never allowed to discover that not all was unpleasant. 

Her father had denied her friends, he had denied her her brother and now she discovered he'd even denied her basic parts of herself, Ellie was torn between mourning her loss and screaming at the top of her lungs. Because of his own weakness... 

Ellie fell to her knees, too tired to sustain her anger for long. She hugged her arms around herself and found the solace that had always given her. She felt alone. Alone in this life forced upon her. She wanted it to stop, wanted someone to pull her away from her past. So she made her way to the kitchen, tears running down her cheeks. She picked up the paper and dialed Tom's number.

A few minutes later, she sat down in a chair. She was waiting and oblivious of her nakedness, wrapped in nothing but a towel. But still, this wasn't like before. Yes, she'd retreated back into herself, but this time she was nursing the knowledge she'd reclaimed something that had been taken from her. Ellie felt like she'd taken a first step. No matter how sorry she felt for herself, she clung to that small wonder.

***

Ruth came back from work, eager to share her day with Tom. He wasn't in the living room like usual, so she went looking for him. When she stepped into the bedroom, she saw him sitting in his chair, sipping a steaming cup of coffee. "Come in, little girl. You can undress and lay down on the bed."

Ruth's hands hesitated on the button of her skirt when she noticed a bunch of silk scarves lying on the bed. Tom's eyebrow lifted and he said, "Is something the matter, little girl?"

"No, Sir." She stacked her clothes on the corner of the bed before laying down on it. Tom gave off an air of total relaxation and asked her about her day. Ruth chatted about work like normal, but she couldn't ignore how exposed she was. She tried to cover up once, but gave up on the attempt when Tom stopped talking mid sentence and just looked at her. 

Time and again the scarves drew her eye. Did he forget them there? Did he leave them there on purpose? If so, why? She felt her pussy respond to the fantasies swirling through her head.

Having finished his coffee, Tom sat down next to Ruth on the bed. One finger idly teased her nipples while they chatted. Ruth's answers became more strained. Even more so when Tom let his hand rest on her stomach and stroked his warm palm over her skin.

Tom smiled when he saw the blush on her cheeks and said, "Have you been thinking about other things while we were talking, little girl?"

He walked his fingers down her stomach and played around the edges of her wet pussy. Ruth opened her thighs as he stretched both of her hands above her head, pinning them together with his free hand. Tom caught her eyes with his and lowered his lips to hers, but before their lips could even touch, he quickly moved to tie her wrists together with one scarf, and he attached that scarf to the bed with another one. "Try to get loose, little girl."

Ruth's cheeks flushed when she struggled against her ties. Tom rolled her nipple between his fingers as he said, "Silk is deceptive, little girl. You couldn't break free from those scarves even if you wanted to. You're all mine. Now open wide."

Tom looked down to find her legs already stretched wide apart. He smiled and gave her a slow, smoldering kiss. "Someone's eager. Is your pussy horny, little girl?"

He chuckled while he tied her feet to the bed. "Now try to free your feet."

Ruth strained and pulled while Tom enjoyed the show of seeing her slender body do things he normally didn't see. Eventually she gave up and looked up at him with an expectant and very aroused look in her eyes. "You stay here for a minute while I go get something."

She wanted to protest, but Tom held up his hand to prevent her from speaking. 

"I'll be right back."

"Yes, Sir."

Seconds tick away. How long would he stay away? What if he forgot about her? Impatience and a touch of fear of the unknown made Ruth squirm in her bonds. By the time Tom made it back into the room she was in quite a state, even if he'd only been gone for five minutes.

Relief flooded Ruth, and she moaned when Tom leaned forward and pushed his warm tongue into her pussy to reward her for her patience. When he came back up, he put what he went out to get between her breasts. 

It was a small toy she remembered all too well. Ruth tried to say something but Tom's finger slipped inside of her while he rubbed her clit, and she lost her train of thought. Her head fell back when Tom curled up his finger and teased the sensitive roof of her pussy. Just as suddenly as Tom had started teasing her, he stopped. Ruth fixed her eyes on his and swallowed when she noticed the toy back in his hand. "You remember this one don't you?"

Her eyes darted away before she answered with a hint of strain in her voice. "I do, Sir."

"Who does, little girl?"

"Your servant does, Sir. My apologies."

"Tell me, what did it do again?"

"It- It tickles your servant's ass, Sir."

"What else does it do?"

"It makes your servant come very fast, Sir."

Tom's smile widened, and he looked her in the eye while he put the toy on her nipple and pushed it against her soft breast. Ruth waited for the buzz to come, but she felt nothing besides the gentle massage of the toy circling her nipple. Tom let it roll down her chest, onto her stomach before he leaned forward and kissed the side of her neck. His breath brushed her skin when he asked her, "Do you want that again, little girl? Right here, with you tied up and ready for me?"

"Yes, Sir. Your servant would love that."

Tom remained silent for a while, happy to travel from her neck to her collar bone, trailing little kisses that gave her goose bumps. He pulled back again and got comfortable next to her while he slowly pushed two fingers into her pussy. Ruth pushed up her hips, and he let her take more of his fingers, without allowing her to really satisfy herself. She wanted more, a lot more.

"How about a trade, little girl?"

Confused and out of breath, Ruth said, "Trade? What do you mean, Sir?"

"It's a simple trade. You want to come, and I want you to tell me a fantasy you're embarrassed about. Of course, as per our agreement, any fantasy you tell me is something I can make you do at least once. You understand what's going to happen, don't you?" 

A pulse shot through Ruth's pussy as his words electrified her. She wanted to tell him her deepest fantasies for so many reasons. And at the same time, she didn't want to tell him. His fingers sped up inside her pussy while his other hand hovered dangerously close to her clit. How was she supposed to think? "I..."

She choked on her next words when Tom drew a quick circle around her throbbing clit. He chuckled when she moaned and pushed up her hips.

"You should hurry, little girl. Come without permission and there won't be a reward."

Ruth tried to glare at him, but she failed miserably, too absorbed in the feelings stirred up by his fingers. She took a deep, shaky breath and started over. "Your servant would like to have sex in the car while she's tied up."

Tom slowed down his teasing to contemplate the possibilities. "And why does that make you horny, little girl?"

"People could see me, Sir. And if they see a woman tied up doing things or if they hear her making noises, they'll know she likes it, Sir. They'll know I like it."

"Hmm. What if I said we'll be taking a ride three days from now?"

Ruth struggled to keep her body from tipping over the edge at his seemingly innocent remark. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that a few days in the future something would happen to her. She didn't know what exactly, but she sure as hell knew she'd spend hours fantasizing and trying to figure it out. 

Tom's laugh was warm and pleasant when he saw her struggle with herself. "It's okay, little girl. There's no need to hold back, you've been honest. Come for me."

"Thank you, Sir."

He curled up his fingers and circled her clit with his tongue, never touching it. Ruth didn't see him take the toy in his free hand. The moment Ruth felt the slick plastic rub against her sensitive asshole, she tensed up in expectation. Nothing changed right away, Tom kept her in limbo, left her guessing as to when he'd overwhelm her with what she'd been craving. Then, without warning, he flicked his tongue over her clit and switched on the toy, wiggling it just millimeters inside her ass.




Calm Ch. 03



The chorus of stimulation and excitement was too much for Ruth, and she came with a beautiful, half strangled moan. She pulled on her bonds as her body tensed and relaxed, along with the waves of her pleasure. When her orgasm faded, she laid back, panting. She watched Tom undress and felt a need to have him close to her so he could give her what she loved him for. "Please, Sir, could you untie your servant's arms? I would really like to hold you while we make love."

Ruth thrilled at the little smile her comment lured out. They locked hands as soon as her arms were loose and their lips met in a drawn out, hot kiss. Tom slid his cock inside of her and let her responses guide him, denying her nothing except the push she needed to topple over the edge of a new orgasm. "Sir, please."

"Do you want to come?"

"Badly, Sir."

"And why haven't you already?"

"Because my pleasure is yours, Sir."

Tom locked one hand in her hair and drove his cock into her with hard thrusts that resounded through her body. It took him some time to answer her, but he wanted to drive her to the edge of her endurance so she'd explode with all the more intensity. "You're the best servant I could wish for, Ruth. Please, come for me."

His praise and permission were all she'd been looking for and receiving them broke the wall of resistance she'd built up. Ruth clamped her arms around Tom's chest and screamed her pleasure into his shoulder. Her pussy rippled around his cock while he kept grinding his hips into her. As her pleasure descended from its peak, she felt a happy glow come over her, and she felt even happier when he tensed and came deep inside of her.

Giving him pleasure fulfilled a deep need in her, more fundamental than the desire she had for meeting her own needs. "I love you, Sir."

"I feel the same way, little girl. You're a marvel."

Happy to forget about her tied legs, Ruth snuggled close to Tom, enjoying the weight of his body pressing down on her. She mewled in protest when he worked himself loose so he could untie her, but soon enough he was back and she could fall asleep happy.

***

Tom dangled his car keys from his finger and said, "Are you ready to leave, little girl?"

The blush on Ruth's face told him all he needed to know. Still, it was fun to ask. She couldn't meet his eyes, but her answer was quick. "Yes, Sir."

He pushed up her chin so he could see the look in her eyes. "Have you been looking forward to today?"

Her voice was soft and a little hoarse as she answered him. "I haven't been able to get it out of my head, Sir."

"Great, let's go."

After they settled down in the car, Tom looked over at her and pointed towards her skirt, shaking his head. Ruth shook her head right back at him, nervous energy stirring her up from the inside. "Sir, I'm not wearing any underwear. I can't take off my skirt."

When Tom put his hand on the car door handle and made to get out of the car, Ruth yanked his arm his arm to stop him. Blushing bright red, she took off her skirt and handed it to him. He tossed it behind him on the back seat and spread her legs apart. The underground parking was safe, but still, anybody from the building could walk by. Ruth's breathing sped up when his finger slid along her pussy, and he smiled when he felt how wet she already was.

Tom pulled back and opened the glove compartment, taking out a short length of rope. Ruth couldn't tear her eyes from the white loops as they coiled around her wrists, slowly but surely restricting what she could still do. Satisfied with his work, Tom pushed her hands down between her legs and unbuttoned her blouse. He pulled it open so her beautiful breasts were visible.

Ruth's expression was torn between embarrassment and excitement. She both hated and loved he was making her live her fantasy. Tom opened the glove department again, under the attentive eye of Ruth. What was he planning now? She gasped when she saw a little jar in his hand. She tried to move back and escape, but instead she wound up pinned against the back of the seat, with nowhere to go. Tom was generous in applying the cool cream to both her nipples.

Ruth was panting now, she knew what the cream would do to her. What was this one going to feel like? Hot? Cold? How fast would it work? How long would it take for her to lose all her restraints and turn into a horny mess for any passerby to see?

Tom ran his fingers along Ruth's inner thigh and said, "I think I can guess what's going through that mind of yours, little girl. Even if they don't see the rope, they'll see my little girl squirming, showing off her breasts and playing with her tight little pussy. Won't that be wonderful?"

He put the car in reverse before she could answer, and it hit Ruth that it was really happening. Fuck, her pussy was already begging to be touched. She moaned at the thought of what was still to come.

As Tom maneuvered through the parking lot, he said "Let me tell you what's going to happen. We're going for a drive to a nice secluded place. People know about it, but it's private enough for some fun."

He winked at her. "While we're on our way, you have permission to touch yourself under one condition. You have to put your feet up on the dashboard and open your legs as wide as you can while you touch yourself. If you don't fulfill that condition, you're not allowed to touch yourself. Do you understand?"

Ruth swallowed and looked straight ahead before answering, trying to get herself under control. She was so horny it felt ridiculous. If he touched her, she'd burst. Her voice was hoarse when she said, "I understand, Sir."

"Good. It's a one hour drive, and you're only allowed one orgasm so you'd better pace yourself. The cream should kick in at about the halfway mark, keep it in mind."

Tom smiled when he heard her groan.

Thirty minutes later, Ruth had a bewildered look in her eyes. Her legs wanted to go up on the dashboard, but she couldn't bring herself to let them. Her resolve was weakening though. The tingling in her nipples was flaring up, and Tom had been teasing her throughout the ride. Every red light, every calm street, he had slipped his hand between her legs or pinch one of her nipples. It was a constant stream of teasing and wondering if somebody, anybody saw what was happening.

The numbing agent in the cream was wearing off quickly now, and Ruth couldn't help reaching up to ease the tingling in her nipples. Touching only made things worse. The first gentle squeeze sent a jolt of pleasure to her pussy and somehow her hands didn't stop playing with the little nubs. Her moans got more heated as she was absorbed in her play. Only minutes later, her hands started travelling down.

"Little girl, put your feet up on the dashboard."

Ruth obeyed his voice without hesitation and finally she could touch herself. She plunged two fingers into her pussy and moaned from deep within. Her hands made her feel incredible, but the rope hindered her from bringing herself to the fast climax she wanted. She could feel how close she was to a wonderful eruption. Her whole body was aching for it, but she just couldn't get it right. "Please, Sir. Can you help me? I can't do it on my own."

"Are you sure you want to come already? It's still twenty minutes."

She didn't take in his words, didn't process his warning. There was no time for words now. "Yes, Sir. Please."

Tom slowed the car down and slipped his hand between her legs. He rubbed her clit while she fingered her pussy with an almost desperate need. When the orgasm hit Ruth, she let out a strangled moan and pushed her hips up, raising her pussy off her seat. Her legs were spread wide open and firmly planted on the dashboard as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss rippled through her body. She sagged back in her seat, expecting to bask in the afterglow.

But things didn't go her way. Any numbing agent in the generous amount of cream Tom had applied to her throbbing nipples had long since lost its potency, and as she settled back into her normal self, she felt the intense glow fueling the fire in her pussy. "Oh god."

Ruth squeezed her legs together and curled up so she could trap her hands between her legs and her chest, so she wouldn't be tempted to touch herself. But all it did was push her sensitive breasts against her arms, giving her more pleasure than she could handle right now. She shot back up and moaned when she felt Tom's fingers slide between her pussy lips. He dragged them along her inner thigh, making her shiver. "Should I honk my horn, little girl?"

Her eyes widened as she saw his hand hover over the steering wheel, and she vigorously shook her head. Tom wouldn't do it this time, but he knew suggesting it would stir up Ruth's fantasy of being watched. From that point on the ride was a constant struggle for Ruth. Tom would tease her, drive side by side with trucks and hit the occasional pothole. When they arrived at the spot, Tom ordered Ruth to step outside. The excitement he'd been holding back gave his voice an edge, and she was out the door before she knew it.

Despite his evident desire for her, Tom calmly walked around the car and opened the passenger side door. He rolled down the window and then closed it again. All the while, Ruth was watching him, every fiber of her body screaming to be touched. He laid his hand on the back of her neck and said, "I suggest you grab something, because you're about to get fucked hard."

Tom shoved Ruth head first through the open car window and slammed his rock hard cock inside of her as soon as he freed it. Ruth pushed back in any way she could, using her arms and legs. She welcomed the fierce fucking. It matched the chaotic mess inside of her. She loved that he was just as aroused as she was.

It didn't take long for Tom to spew his load inside her soaked pussy, and as soon as he recovered he attacked her clit with one hand while he spanked her ass hard with the other. Ruth screamed into the car as her second, long awaited orgasm blew her mind. The dam inside burst and the sharp snap of his hand on her cheeks sent her higher, prolonging and intensifying her ecstasy.

After several minutes spent leaning against the car, Tom pulled Ruth out of the window and untied her. She was a happy mess, still enjoying sporadic aftershocks. "Do you want to clean up and go for a walk or do you want to go home?"

"Can we lie down in the grass somewhere?"

"Sure we can. I've got a blanket in the trunk. Get dressed now. Before anybody comes."

She looked down and pulled her blouse shut. Had she really looked like this and worse for the past hour. Oh god.

"Did you bring any fresh clothes, Tom?"

"Fresh clothes? You don't need them. I think you look great as you are now."

He was chuckling when Ruth grabbed her skirt from the back seat, her ass still stinging where he'd spanked it.

***

Ellie slammed her hand down on the kitchen table, a frustrated look on her face. She glared at Tom and said, "Why did I need to learn about touching myself? I had no idea what it was supposed to feel like, and I was okay with that. I was fine. Now I know, and it's like part of me that should be there is missing. Something normal. I feel like I'm half a person. I hate it!"

Her hands balled into fists. "And I know it's just the start. This is just me by myself. When I see you and Ruth together, I don't get it. How can she be so happy? What makes her feel like that? I want to know, Tom. I want to feel what she's feeling."

Her face distorted in anger, "My father never made me happy. He never let me make myself happy either, and my mom wasn't there, remember? So how the fuck am I supposed to figure all of this out? Are you gonna show me? Ruth maybe? Are you going to teach me stuff that makes me feel like shit because I spent all that time not knowing about it when I should have?"

Tom took Ellie in his arms and ignored her weak attempt at pushing him away. She gave up and hid herself in his warm embrace. "It's okay to be mad, Ellie. Your father made lots of mistakes that you have to pay for now. All you could do as a child was love him and hope he loved you back. It's what kids do. So you took whatever you could get and over time you've learned that love is sex and pain, that there's no room for just you, and I'm sorry for that. I can only imagine how confused you're feeling. 

"But look at us now. I'm just holding you close to me, and you've calmed down so much. You already know there are others ways for people who care about each other to show their feelings. You can feel and do the same things as anybody else."

Ellie sniffled and said, "You make it sound so simple, Tom. Like there's nothing wrong with me. I shouldn't have let him do those things."

Tom's arms tightened around the young girl, hard enough to give her trouble breathing. His voice sounded strangled, as if he was holding back something. "Never. Never think that any of this was your fault. You're innocent. If your father couldn't give you the care you needed, then he should've found help. There can be no excuses, ever."

"Tom, please, you're hurting me."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to." He let her go and sighed as he watched her with worry in his eyes. "It hurts to see you like you are now, Ellie. But I believe you can lead the life you want to live. You have a bright future ahead of you. I just know you'll make me proud."

Ellie retreated a step, wringing her hands together. Tom waited for her to say what was on her mind. Seconds ticked away before she took a deep breath and shored up her courage enough. "Tom, therapy and things... It's so I can be normal again, right? So I won't think about what happened... and I think it helps... I really do, but I don't know, Tom. I don't know if I'll ever want to be with anybody. Like that, you know what I mean. Tom..."

She lifted her eyes to his, the plea written in them so strong that it haunted her beautiful face. "Tom, can you show me what it's like to be with someone the right way? You and Ruth seem so happy, and I can tell from just looking at her when you've been together. She's different, glowing, and I don't understand how it works, how it can be. Can I have that to? Is it even possible for me? I need to know, Tom. Please do this for me."

Tom was torn. Part of him said yes without even having to think about it. How could he deny her cry for help? But a different part of him sounded the alarm. If he did this, would she connect him with sex as well? Would he reinforce her picture that love was sex? Would he make things worse? 

Ellie saw the struggle Tom was going through in his eyes and kept looking at him with the same anguished expression. She was afraid she lacked something so important that it disqualified her for being a normal person. 

Tom took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm afraid, Ellie. Afraid you'll think I'm like your father if I touch you like that. Ruth and me didn't take you in to groom you. We want you to heal, and I could never stand to see you get hurt any worse. Can't words be enough?"

Ellie shook her head and grabbed his shirt with her small hands. "Please, Tom."

"Are you 100% sure you want this?"

Ellie nodded her head, but that wasn't enough for Tom. "Ellie, answer me. This is serious. Do you understand what you're asking for?"

"Yes."

"Do you really?"

"I understand, Tom. Please, just this once. I won't ask again."

Tom struggled to decide what to do. Yes or no? What would saying yes mean? What would saying no mean? He didn't know. How was he supposed to know? If he refused her, she might feel rejected and lose her belief that there was more in store for her in life. If he accepted, she might be confronted with a part of herself that she didn't want to see.

He knew something of her fears, something of how desperate she was for knowledge and experiences that would prove to her that her life had much to offer still. "All right then. I'll do what you're asking for. I'll try and make you feel good. Stop me any time you feel even the least bit uncomfortable. That's not a request."

Ellie didn't make a sound when Tom lifted her chin and softly claimed her lips. He had a burning need to prove to her that it was possible to enjoy herself with a man. He'd bring her pleasure and ask for nothing in return. Afterwards, he'd treat her the same, with no strings attached. Ellie needed to believe she wasn't broken, that her future was more than smashing into a brick wall over and over.

And so Tom gave Ellie her first kiss. His lips lingered on hers as he explored her soft mouth with feather light kisses. He left little kisses on her eyelids, on the tip of her nose and anywhere he could reach. One hand gently brushed back her hair and Tom kissed her exposed neck, trailing his route to her earlobe with kisses. He flicked it with the tip of his tongue and then nibbled it.

Ellie hadn't made a single sound yet, but Tom knew she was feeling everything he did for the first time and that she had no idea what to do or how to respond. So he'd lead her carefully through all the tiny wonders he could show her.

Tom slipped his hand into her pale locks and ran his finger through the silky strands. He looked for any traces of fear or disgust in her face, but couldn't find any. All he saw was faint surprise. Tom pulled Ellie closer to him and locked lips with her, wanting to make the kiss deeper. Ellie opened her mouth a tiny bit and then froze when she felt his hand slide along her side. 

She jerked when Tom stopped an inch or so short of her breast and brushed the soft globe's side with his thumb. Tom left his hand in place, not moving it further, and Ellie relaxed again. She opened her mouth fully to Tom, and he kissed her more deeply, his tongue teasing hers. He pulled her head to the side and softly bit the soft skin of her throat while he ran his hand up her side again. 

Tom teased Ellie like this until she stopped freezing when his hand neared her breasts. At that point, he switched position and carefully ran the tips of his fingers along her naked inner thigh, stopping well short of her panties. He teased her sensitive skin just a little before sliding his hand around the back to knead her firm cheeks. Ellie didn't kiss back while Tom played around with his hand, unsure about his plans, but over time she relaxed and pushed her ass into his hands every time he reached it. 

Tom kept teasing Ellie's body as his mouth traveled wherever it could reach. Ellie was breathing fast now, and a blush had spread across her cheeks. She leaned into Tom's advances, wanting to feel just that little bit more. She finally felt comfortable being kissed and touched.

With steady hands Tom unbuttoned Ellie's blouse one button at a time, giving her plenty of opportunity to stop him. He'd dressed and undressed her on a number of occasions, but never like this. Never charged like this. Regardless of the situation, Ellie was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen or was ever likely to see. 

Ellie's bra followed her blouse to the floor with little fuss, revealing her incredible breasts. They were high and firm, almost impossibly so given their ample size. Tom had to steel himself to keep taking it slowly. His fingertips trailed the silky underside of Ellie's heavy globes, continuing in a spiral that stopped just short of touching her nipple. Instead, he blew a soft jet of air over the nub, enjoying the sight as it stiffened. 

Ellie closed her eyes as Tom lavished one breast with small kisses while kneading the other. She gasped when he finally touched her stiff nipple, latched on to it with his mouth and circled it with his warm tongue. The feeling was strange to her, nothing someone else did to her had ever caused her body to react like this. It felt good, and it left her wanting more. 

She clenched one hand into Tom's hair and pulled him closer to her body, unwilling to let him go now. Ellie loosened her grip as he tweaked her nipple and rolled it between two fingers. Tom's free hand drifted along her inner thigh, and Ellie felt bombarded by the myriad unfamiliar sensations. She had trouble focusing on any one of the things happening to her. It took all she had to take it all in.




Calm Ch. 03



A soft moan escaped her when Tom first slipped a finger into her wet pussy as he nibbled her nipple. Her moan morphed into a deeper, more soulful sound when Tom curled his finger upwards and massaged her insides. Ellie's fears and restraints seemed forgotten as she twisted and undulated to get the most pleasure out of whatever it was Tom was doing to her. He kneeled between Ellie's legs and pulled off her skirt and panties to reveal her pink pussy topped by a small tuft of platinum hair. It glistened with excitement, eager for more wonders. He picked her up and set her down on the edge of his desk, her slender legs spread wide.

His hands stroked her inner thighs as he traced her pussy lips with the tip of his tongue. Ellie moaned and yelped as Tom used his experienced mouth and hands to build up her excitement. Her stiff clit peeked out at him, but it wasn't time yet. He used every trick he knew to slowly take her higher. Finally, he locked his lips around her little pea and sucked gently as he slipped two fingers inside and curled them both upwards to massage the roots of her clit. Ellie started shaking and moaning, her hands clawing in his hair as she pushed her hips up against his face.

When her orgasm hit her, Ellie thrashed in Tom's hands, but he didn't let up. Her fingers tangled painfully in his hair as he pumped his digits into her quivering pussy, and he pushed his tongue down onto her clit, massaging it as he hummed. One little orgasm wasn't what Tom wanted Ellie to experience, so he kept on working hard. Ellie's breathing quickened, and she exploded a second time when Tom pinched one of her nipples. The first orgasm had been the foundation to make this rush of pure ecstasy possible. Ellie stiffened in a silent scream as the first true orgasm of her life rushed through her.

Ellie couldn't think, couldn't see. She was adrift, with only Tom's head to cling on to. She wrapped her legs around his head and pushed his face into her pussy. He never stopped pleasuring her. Suddenly, the pleasure overwhelmed her. Her clit felt itchy, and she pushed Tom away. The gulping breath he took surprised Ellie, but he didn't seem to mind. 

Tom got up and brushed Ellie's cheek with his hand. His whole face was a wet mess, but she could clearly see his eyes scanning her for any sign of distress. "I hope you'll believe me now when I tell you you can feel just as good as anybody else."

Ellie was too distracted by the afterglow of her orgasm to give him any sort of useful answer, so Tom picked up her clothes and held them out to her. "Come on, get dressed. I'll carry you to your room. I think you could use a nap. You know where to find me if you want to talk after you wake up."

After closing the door to her room, Tom leaned back against it and sighed. Thank god nothing seemed to have gone wrong. Yet. He'd have to call Ruth. Shaking his head, Tom cursed his doubts and hoped he'd done the right thing.

***

Ellie hadn't come to Tom to talk about what happened in his study, and he was a little worried about that. On the other hand, there didn't seem to be any sign she was behaving differently towards either him or Ruth. He carefully concluded that things had turned out okay. After a few days his certainty got smashed when Ellie turned up in his study. "Tom, I want you to do for me what you did for Ruth."

Startled, Tom said "Ellie, I can't do that with you. It's not safe. You could get seriously hurt. Emotionally. What if something goes wrong? I don't want to risk that. Plus, you're a minor, and I can't do that with you. Even what happened a few days ago can be considered assault. And you told me that was a one time thing, there wasn't supposed to be a follow-up."

Ellie folded her arms and shot Tom a stern look. "It won't go wrong. Ruth says you always make things work, whatever it is she asks of you."

"Did she put you up to this?"

"No, Tom. This is my idea. I want to beat my father like Ruth beat Sebastien. Charlotte and Ruth have been teaching me that I can fight. That I can win. So I have to fight the memory that hurts the most. One woman I've read about did it. She said it was a huge release for her. Ruth did it. She said the same thing. I want that. I want to feel like I've let go."

Tom shook his head and said, "Ellie, there's no way I can do this without harming you. I wasn't there when you lived with your father, and I'm not a mind reader. I don't know what you're expecting me to do. Every second, I'll be wondering if I 'm hurting you for real or not. I can't do it, Ellie. It's also illegal."

"We'll just do it on my birthday, okay? I'll be eighteen then. Please, Tom. I'll tell you everything you need to know. I want to do this. It has to be this way, and it has to be you. Please do this for me. Just this once. I promise it'll only be one time."

"Yeah, once. Look how that turned out. I have to talk about this with Ruth. You don't have my promise I'm doing it, am I clear?"

"Yes."

Tom got up from his desk and said, "You blindsided me, Ellie. You're a strong girl. Much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know you could've ended up broken, but you survived, and you did well for yourself without anyone's help. I'm proud of you. But I'll be damned if I destroy everything you've worked so hard for."

There were tears in Ellie's eyes as she whispered, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet."

Ruth saw the pained expression on Tom's face when he left his study. She came up to him and put her hand on his arm. "Is everything all right? I saw Ellie go into your study, did she say something?"

"She wants to do what you did. Re-enact her past so she can override her memories."

Ruth's little hand tightened on Tom's arm. "Oh Ellie, poor thing."

"I said I'd think about it."

"What? Tom, she's a minor! And god knows we still don't know how to handle her problems. You can't do it. It's wrong."

Tom shook his head, a grave look on his face. "It's not wrong, at least not from her point of view. She said she wants to fight. And from what you've told her, she trusts I can hurt her without harming her. In her mind the best thing she can do is fight where it hurts the most, and now she has everything she needs in place, she's set on doing it. I don't think Ellie knows how hard it'll be on her. You should talk to her, try to change her mind."

Ruth cast him a worried glance. "Did we do this?"

"I don't know. Maybe we influenced her. But I think this is coming from her. All you did was show her a possibility, and she saw it as an opportunity."

"You think it's going to be bad?"

"Think? I'm sure it's going to be much worse than what I did with you." He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "You know, I wanted to make dinner right now, but I think I should just go outside for a while. Could we go out and do something, maybe talk about this? I think Ellie should have time to herself right now."

"How about we go catch a movie? There's plenty of food in the fridge for Ellie. She can make herself a sandwich. I'll leave a note."

Tom smiled a Ruth and kissed her. "Thanks, little girl. That sounds great."



Calm Ch. 04



Author's note: It's been a while since I posted the last part of Calm, this has everything to do with life getting in the way, but also with a wonderful lady who reached out to me after picking out my stories. It's a wonderful compliment to get when someone says your story has help believe a bit more in the community again.

She has spent the time to read through what I've written and to comment on a few key scenes, and I have taken her comments to heart.

Still, feel free to comment all you want on this story. The more opinions I get, the more valuable putting this story up here becomes.

Parts will be following each other more quickly now.

This is the first half of the third part of the story. The second part will follow in chapter 5. Part 4 and 5 will be in Chapter 6 and 7 respectively. Apologies for any possible confusion about the splitting up of parts.

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Chapter 4
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Tom leaned back in the couch. He was nervous and uncomfortable. Feelings he hadn't been familiar with for a long time now. Ruth had her head leaned against his shoulder. He sighed and said, "I'd hoped talking to you would change her mind, but it can't be helped now. We start when you leave."

Ruth put her hand on his arm and looked him in the eye, worry dimming some of the light in her pale greens. "Are you going to be all right?"

"I'm not sure, Ruth. She's told me everything I need to know, so we should be okay. I want to do this for her, but if something goes wrong, I'll have to figure it out myself and slip out of my role immediately. Make sure I'm there for her when she needs me." 

He squeezed her hand and said, "Please make sure you're available today. It'll be reassuring to know I can give you a quick call."

"Of course, Tom. I don't have any plans."

He kissed her, a slow lingering kiss while his arms circled around her. She squeezed him back with all the strength she could muster, to give her master the encouragement he needed. Tom let her go and got up. He had a determined look in his eyes, and his attention was aimed inward now, focused on recalling the details of the role he was about to play.

"I love you, Tom."

Tom smiled down at his beautiful little girl and brushed the tips of his fingers along her cheek. Ruth understood how he felt about her without words. After stealing a quick peck on the tip of her nose, Tom turned away from her and made his way back to the bedroom. Ruth watched his back as he left, her fingers lingering on her nose. When the bedroom door closed behind him, she picked up her car keys and left.

Tom dressed in clothes he'd found in a used clothes store that fit Ellie's description of her father. He put on fake glasses and gelled his hair back. A pillow got strapped under his shirt. Ellie's father had been a little overweight. Finally, Tom slumped his shoulders and sprayed himself with the cologne Ellie's father used. Looking back at himself in the mirror, Tom disliked the image. He couldn't wait to throw the whole getup in the trash.

In the kitchen, Ellie sat at the kitchen table, poking her soggy cornflakes with a spoon. She seemed a lot smaller and grayer than the girl Tom had gotten used to in the past few months. The shadow looming over her showed today. Ellie turned to look at Tom as he entered the room, and fear flickered in her eyes when she saw him. It soon faded as she retreated back into her past self. 

Tom hated seeing her like this, but there was no turning back now. "Elizabeth, put your bowl in the dishwasher when you're done with your breakfast. You have your flower arrangement class."

"Yes, father. I'll put it away."

Mechanically, Ellie got up and poured her milk and gooey cereal in the sink, rinsing it away with water. She put the bowl into the dishwasher and made her way back to her chair. If she was such a ghost when only re-enacting, what must it have been like for her to live like this for years on end, unable to talk about it to anyone? Tom forced his thoughts to stop churning and unclenched his fists. He could never play his part if he was thinking like this. 

He looked down at Ellie's smooth face, her soft pink lips and the swell of her breasts. What would any man give for what was about to happen to him? How would he bring himself to do it? Pushing those questions away yet again, he thought of Ellie as Ruth. As his chaotic feelings faded to the background, he could see his little girl's bright eyes looking up at him, eager to do what he asked of her.

Tom opened his pants and pushed himself against Ellie's lips. Ellie made a token protest, but it was so very weak. She didn't move her arms to push Tom away or even try to dodge him, and she barely even turned her head sideways. Ellie seemed to be locked deep inside of this Elizabeth who was so strange to Tom. Even when she'd been bedridden and recovering, there had been some spark in her eyes. 

Tom closed his eyes as he slid into her mouth, unable to look at her anymore. She started bobbing her head, fluidly taking him to the hilt and swirling her tongue over his head as she pulled back. It felt amazing but somehow wrong, mechanical. Ellie had detached herself completely. Still, Tom's body quickly responded to her. He let Ellie bring him to the edge before he took her head in his hands, just like her father had done when he was close. 

Tom pushed all the way into Ellie's mouth three times before he crossed the line of no return. It had been three pushes every time, and then her father would hold Ellie down until he was finished. Tom pulled out and quickly buttoned his pants so he could turn around and hide his expression from Ellie. He couldn't fail her now by falling out of character and showing her how shaken he was. No way could he do this a second time. 

Tom composed himself and said, "Go and get ready, Elizabeth. We're leaving in a couple of minutes."

He thought his voice sounded strong enough. Ellie scurried out of the room like a hurt animal. Guilt flashed through Tom when he heard her wretch in the toilet. "Are you all right? I can call to say you're not going."

"No. I'm fine, father."

"Well, let's go then."

They didn't say a word in the car. Ellie stared off into infinity. Tom pulled into the garden center's parking lot and got out of the car. "We're here, get your things."

They went inside and made for the back, where the studio was. Ellie ran her hands over some flowers, and it relieved Tom to see some life come back to her eyes as the delicate petals slipped through her fingers. 

Tom sighed as a weight fell off his chest. Ellie was still in there. He went to the flower arrangement teacher and told her Ellie had had a very bad night's rest because of a nightmare. He knew the woman looked at him strangely because of his choice of clothes, but he made sure she understood Ellie might be acting a bit odd today.

When he made it back to his car, Tom leaned back in his seat and breathed out a shuddering sigh. This was supposed to have been the easy part. It hadn't felt like it. He grabbed his phone and called Ruth.

"Ruth?"

'Is everything all right, Tom?'

"I dropped Ellie off at her class, and I'm sitting here in my car now. It was bad, Ruth. I'll need you tonight. I feel like scum."

'Just hold on, Tom. You can make it through this.'

"I know, I said I would, and I'll do it, but I hope I never have to see Ellie like that ever again. She was just like a living doll, pretty on the outside and empty on the inside."

'Is there anything I can do?'

"No, it's fine. I just needed to hear your voice. This is what Ellie wants, and I have to keep reminding myself of that. It's going to turn out for the best. I have to believe that."

'You're doing the right thing, Tom. I know you are.'

"I'll make it work, is that what you're saying?"

'Yes, Sir. You always do.'

"Thanks, you're a treasure."

Tom took some deep breaths and drove back home to make lunch like Ellie's father would have. Sausages, pan fried until they were really dry. Hotchpotch with extra Brussels-sprouts, because Ellie's brother hadn't liked them. The depth of the hate this man had felt for his son was beyond comprehension, to go as far as to tailor meals to his distastes. 

With everything finished and cleaned up, Tom sat down at the kitchen table and thought about what was to come. Everything could go terribly wrong if Ellie stayed stuck in her lethargic self. He hoped she was strong enough to break free. And if she wasn't, he'd drag her out.

***

Tom was waiting for Ellie on the hood of his car when she came out of the garden center holding a beautiful flower piece. Different types of white flowers arranged against a backdrop of banana leaves and fixed to a piece of hollowed out bamboo. The pleased look Ellie had on her face disappeared when she saw Tom. She cast her eyes down and seemed to pull any life that shone out from her back inside.

They drove home, strangers to each other. Tom asked Ellie about the meaning behind the piece. When she answered it was a sign of purity and new beginnings, Tom averted his eyes from her and didn't take them off the road again. He hoped from the depths of his heart he wouldn't crush her hope.

They had lunch in silence. Dry meat with bland vegetables and potatoes. Tom wondered if this was how the world under her father's control had felt to her. Bland. Every bite the same. 

Her father had pushed Ellie into picking up all the activities her mother had used to hide from him, but Tom didn't believe Ellie had complied so easily because of her fear of him. He'd seen the spark in Ellie's eyes when she came out of the garden center, holding her work. She'd been proud. She still was, but she'd carefully hidden it away. That pride had always been there, and Tom felt proud of Ellie for being strong despite everything that had happened to her. 

Ellie had saved herself by staying true to who she was in small ways whenever she could. And now she wanted to lock away the bad parts of her past and free herself to get on with the good. He could do this. He wanted to do it more now than he ever had before. "You go up to your room, Elizabeth. I'll take care of the dishes."

"Yes, father. Thanks for lunch."

"You're welcome, sweetie."

Standing in front of Ellie's door, Tom took several deep breaths to calm his nerves. He knocked and entered the room. Ellie was balled up in a corner of her bed, pressed against the wall. Her book lay discarded on the sheets.

"Get yourself ready."

Ellie didn't move, and her eyes were alive this time. Alive with fear. There was no hiding her trembling behind a facade of disassociated acceptance. This next part had never stopped hurting Ellie, no matter how often it had happened. It had given her nothing but pain and never the smallest ounce of pleasure. It had shocked Tom when Ellie told him she'd never had the chance to discover that sex could be a pleasurable thing. He'd found it hard to believe, but now it seemed so clear to him. "Elizabeth."

She still wouldn't move from her corner, so Tom pulled her towards him and forced her to uncurl. Ellie didn't struggle any further, having learned long ago it would only prolong what happened to her. Tom put her knees in front of the bed and folded her over its side. He took a bottle of lube from Ellie's nightstand and exposed her perfectly shaped ass. He had to steel himself so he wouldn't call the whole thing off right the and there. 

Ellie had told him things would be this way. Still, it was only because they'd already come this far that Tom pushed on and lubed Ellie. She whimpered, resigned to her fate.

Making himself respond to her body and whatever images he could conjure up, Tom stiffened. He couldn't waste time, had to let his body take over so he wouldn't fail her now. Tom put his tip against Ellie's ass and tightened up on the inside when she softly cried out. She sounded so weak. Never in his life had he imagined someone so vulnerable as Ellie in that moment. It was beyond him how her father could ignore her unspoken plea time after time, lost in his own fantasies.

He steeled himself and pushed, not hard enough to break through, but enough to let Ellie know something was happening. He couldn't be himself now, couldn't obey his overwhelming need to stop this. Her father had used her as a willing lover, like his fantasy of her mother would've been. 

Ellie got really quiet, no longer responding in any way. Shit! This wasn't what they talked about! Tom stopped moving, desperate to think of something that would call Ellie back to him. He had to reach her. Tom bent over Ellie, and he slipped away from her as he shouted, "Ellie! Elizabeth's gone! That's not you anymore! You're Ellie now! Come back. Be strong. Do what you said you would. You can do it, Ellie! I know you can."

Tom shook her shoulders, scattering hairs over her face. Ellie's eyes focused, and she peered over her shoulder. Tom squeezed her shoulder as relief flooded through him. "Ellie, do it! It has to be now! Ellie!"

Understanding bloomed in Ellie's mismatched eyes as she came back from whatever dark place she'd been hiding in. The blankness of her face dissolved and made way for anger. Years of injustice to her brother, years of abuse and all the damage her father had done to her life exploded upwards.

Ellie surprised Tom as she elbowed him in the face, hard. She pushed him off of her and stood up, glaring down at him with hate burning in her eyes. Ellie was magnificent at that moment, with her cheeks flushed and hairs sticking to her face. Her two-colored eyes lit up as she straightened her back and stood proud in the center of the room, her fists clenched and her nails digging in the flesh of her palms. Ellie wasn't trembling in fear now. Wrath had taken hold of her. 

She drove her heel into Tom's stomach and in an ice cold voice she said, "If you move, father, I'll kick you twice as hard. I've learned what to do with you now. Do you understand?"

Still catching his breath and grateful for the pillow protecting his stomach, Tom nodded. Thank God Ellie was back. He was happy to pay the price for that small wonder. For a long moment Ellie stood there silent, her thoughts rapidly clicking into place. All her memories fueled the inferno burning inside of her, cleansing her. When she was ready, Ellie focused the weight of her emotion on Tom. Ellie's voice was calm and measured, but still alive with the anger suffusing her. Tom wondered how many times she'd practiced this in her head.

"I wish you'd never done this to me, father. I still remember the first time. It hurt so much I couldn't even speak. It burned and burned and you just kept going. I was crying and screaming in the pillow. But you knew, you had to know. You saw the blood. I hadn't even healed yet the second time. I can never be normal because of you. I hate you, Father." Ellie stomped down on the pillow once more.

"I hate you for killing Jefff. He was just as much her son as I'm her daughter. Why did you beat him? Why did you have to hurt him so much? He never understood why. It was bad enough for you to tell him his mother died because he made her bleed out. Those are the words you said to him! You monster! How could you say that to a little kid? 

Ellie's face twisted with grief. "And you punished him for it every day of his life. He was such a beautiful boy, but he didn't have a single friend in school because he was afraid to have anyone see his bruises. He'd have to tell them he thought he was a murderer, and that he was being punished for it. Such a sweet little boy, a murderer! Do you even understand what you did to him? And you wouldn't even let me take care of him! You punished him even more when I tried to comfort him! He was as alone as I was. 

Tears wet Ellie's cheeks. "You think you love, but you don't even know who you're fucking when you're doing it. All you see is mom's face. All you want is to get her back. Well, I'm not taking it anymore! I'd rather bite off your dick and swallow it then ever sucking it again! I'd rather cut it off while you're fucking me up my ass and shit it out in the toilet than ever letting you up there again! I hate you!" Every scream was followed by another stomp of Ellie's foot. 

"I never knew I could say no. I never knew I could be safe from you. When Jeff died, I knew you'd kill me too. You're a sick, horrible man. The people who took me in are good people, father. They already care for me more than you ever did and even after I told them about how dirty I am, they still take care of me. They waited for me to tell them about what you did to me, waited for me to feel safe. I can't even tell them how much that means to me."

Ellie took a deep breath and closed her eyes before a shrill shriek burst from her mouth, her eyes filled with violent loathing. "I hate the way I look because of you! All I can see is mom. You disgusting monster! You murderer! I hate you! I'll hate you until I'm dead! I loved Jeff, and you took him away from me! I'll never love anybody else. Never. Don't you ever show yourself to me again! You're not my father, you're nothing to me! Nothing!"

Ellie jumped on top of Tom and pummeled him with her small fists. He protected his face and let her rage. Ellie screamed animal screams of pain and anger, clawing at Tom with the sole purpose of destroying him, of blasting him with all of her memories. 

When her fury died down, Ellie burst into tears with massive, heaving sobs. She let go of all control and bawled like a child. Weakly punching Tom in the chest from time to time, she poured all of her grief into him. Grief for the brother she lost. Grief for the girl she could have been. Grief for who she was now. 

When Ellie was too weak to struggle anymore, Tom took her into his arms. They were stiff and bruised, but he didn't care. Ellie's hands would be much worse. He held her close to him as she kept crying. They made a strange sight, both of them with no pants, but they couldn't care less. Ellie held onto Tom to keep herself from drowning. An island of calm in her own madness.

Tom whispered to her he was proud of her, that she'd be all right, that he'd help her. He shushed Ellie and said her name over and over. He told her it was okay to cry, to let go, that she was safe. Anything he could think of rolled off his tongue, just so Ellie could have his voice to listen to, his strength to lean on, his warmth to shelter in. When she'd calmed down, Tom's voice was hoarse and his throat sore, but he still smiled when he said, "Happy birthday, Ellie. I think this year will be better than the last."

"Mhm."

She nuzzled his neck and wiped her eyes dry on his shirt. "Thank you, Tom."

"Anything, Ellie. Anything at all."

***

"Go ahead, Ellie. Put it down."

Tom and Ellie stood in front of Jeff's small gravestone, the date of birth engraved on it was painfully close to the death date. Ellie's fingers were stiff and bruised in places, but they'd heal. She was healing and taking small steps towards what she could be. 'Purity and a new beginning', the flower piece she'd made, perfectly suited the grave. Jeff's death had shaken her to her core, and it had woken her up to the world. The kindness of the man standing behind her, holding her steady, had helped her to stay wide awake. And now Ellie felt like she could take a step away from her past and into the future. 

Ellie knelt in front of the grave and put her hand on the stone. "You never knew about me, and I'm glad you didn't. You would've been sad, and I didn't want that. There was so much you didn't understand. So much you'll never understand now. But you were just like me, hiding away whenever you could. Trying to escape from the world that was so cruel to you. It makes me sad I didn't take any of your things with me, but there was already so little I could hide from father. I couldn't risk it. But you're safe now. He can't hurt you anymore. I'll..."




Calm Ch. 04



Ellie's voice choked as tears welled up. She remembered Jeff's little face beaming up at her when she brought him a new toy or a book. He was always so happy with the smallest things, clinging to any flicker of joy in his life. Such a good boy, never did a thing wrong in his life. Her fingers clawed at the stone as she forced words from her throat. "I'll live for both of us, Jeff, and I'll be happy so you can know what it feels like. I love you, little guy. You're the only one I'll ever love."

She stood back up and wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. Tom put his hand on her shoulder and said, "Do you want to stay a little longer?"

"No, let's just go back."

"Okay."

***

Back at the loft, Tom put a big brown envelope in front of Ellie. "In here I have a lot of paperwork and your birthday present. I contacted a lawyer about what you can do in your situation. Since you're of age now, you can live apart from your father without ever having to come into contact with him. There's more in there, and you should read it all. 

"I also arranged paperwork for you to either go back to school or to study for your exams independently. Your choice, but you do need your diploma if you want to go to university, and I don't want you to be delayed. There's some paperwork and stuff about emancipation and scholarships as well. Nothing final. It all needs your signature. You're the one deciding. Are you still with me?"

Ellie nodded, even though she didn't understand. She'd never been responsible for anything in her life, had never been allowed to make any important decisions.

"And then there's your present." Tom opened the envelope and tipped it. A labeled key and a plaque fell on the table with a clang. The label said 'Home' and the plaque said 'Ellie's room'. Entwined white orchids decorated the plaque. 

Tom's hand found Ellie's, and he said "If you want, this place can be your home until you graduate from high school. As long as you behave that is."

Tom winked at Ellie and smiled. She ignored his jest and stared at the plaque. "You mean it? I can stay here that long? I don't have to leave?"

"Nope."

Ellie stroked the letters engraved in the key chain with her fingertips. "I don't know what to say, Tom. You and Ruth have already done so much for me."

Tom dismissed her comment and said, "After what we've just done together, none of that matters. Just shut up and give me a hug."

Ellie ran around the table and jumped Tom, wrapping herself around him like a koala bear. Tom laughed and pushed himself up. He walked into the living room with her clinging on for dear life and sat down. "Do you want to be alone tonight?"

Ellie shook her head against Tom's chest, gripping him a little tighter still.

"Mind if I call Ruth?"

"No."

Some time later, Ruth walked in to find them both still entangled. Tom held out his hand to her. "Come join us."

After a brief look had passed between her and Tom, Ruth shed her shoes and joined Tom and Ellie in a fuzzy group hug. Wrapped tightly together in something like a small, makeshift family.

***

Ellie stood between Tom and Ruth, glancing over her shoulder time after time. She rolled up her emancipation papers and then straightened them, but it was never long before her hands rolled them up again. "He'll be here soon, won't he?"

Tom put his hand on Ellie's shoulder and squeezed, "I wanted to avoid it if possible, but it's better if we can get your father to sign your papers. If he doesn't, then we'll need a lawyer. That would take a lot longer, and you'd have to see him a lot more. Let's hope for the best."

Ellie nodded and shuffled closer to Tom, hunching her shoulders and keeping his body between her and the door. Tom looked over at Ruth and gave her a worried look. He didn't see this ending well. It was almost their turn when Ellie's back stiffened, and she grabbed Tom's arm.

A man in disheveled clothes barged into the room. When he saw Ellie with Tom and Ruth, he shouted, "Who the fuck are you to call me and tell me you're waiting for me to sign a piece of paper that puts my daughter out on the street? Who the fuck are you in the first place, asshole? What did you do to Elizabeth? Elizabeth! Come here, we're leaving!"

The man tried to grab Ellie, but Tom grabbed his wrist and locked him in place. He smiled at Ellie and nodded towards Ruth. "Ellie, could you and Ruth please step aside? I think your father and I need to have a little talk in private."

Ellie hurried over to Ruth, who took the girl in her arms, her eyes glaring at Ellie's father over the girl's trembling shoulder. Nothing would harm Ellie in any way, not if Ruth had a say in it. Tom turned his empty smile towards Ellie's father and upped the pressure on the man's arm. "Now, could you please calm down and have a seat?"

The man's eyes were glued to his daughter. He ignored Tom and tried to step forward, but Tom stopped him again. "Sir, let's have a seat over there in the corner so we can have a conversation."

"Let me go. I need to go to my daughter! I haven't seen her in months."

He tried to work himself free, but it was no use.

"Sir, go over to the corner. I'm not letting you take a step closer to your daughter."

With mounting rage apparent in his every move, Ellie's father gave in and stomped over to the corner. He sat down, trembling from the effort it took him to keep from lashing out.

Tom joined him and let his smile fade away as he leaned in close. In a cold and measured tone, he said "Let me tell you who the fuck I am. I'm the one who notified you that your daughter was in a safe place, and that she didn't want to have any contact with you. If it had been her choice, you'd be thinking she was dead by now. That's how afraid she is of you."

He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Just look at her now. You step into the room, and she can barely even look up because she's petrified."

Tom's brown eyes locked on the haggard face in front of him. "I called you here today so you could sign her emancipation papers. She wants nothing to do with you. No money to go study, no visits, no nothing. The only way she can get a scholarship without involving you is through emancipation. She wants to be free from you, her father. Let her go and maybe, just maybe, years from now she might want to reconnect. As much as I hate to admit it, you're still her father. Children and parents share a bond, no matter what happens."

Tom looked at the older man's face, scouring it for any sign his words had penetrated his thick skull. A cold anger replaced the fury Ellie's father had shown earlier, fueled by instant hate for the man before him. He tried to get up and step around Tom, but the younger man mirrored his move. "You brainwashed my daughter! She'd never want any of this. Not my Elizabeth."

"The moment Ellie understood what emancipation was, she agreed to go through with it, immediately. She didn't even need to consider it. I didn't brainwash your daughter. You raped and abused her. You're the one responsible here. You drove her away. The only one at fault is you."

Ellie's father tried to walk away from Tom and go to Ellie again, but Tom's voice stopped him. "Touch her, and I call the police. It'll take them a few minutes to get here, and I can restrain you very easily, so don't even think about it."

The older man turned back, his breathing fast as he balled his fists. He was near his boiling point again. With a growling voice, he said "I'm leaving."

"You won't sign Ellie's papers?"

"Like hell I will! I'm getting a lawyer! You can't keep my daughter away from me!"

Tom folded his arms. "I can. I don't want to take things that far, but if Ellie testifies against you, she can be lawfully protected from her abuser. So please, sign the papers and we won't have to see each other ever again."

"You fucking asshole!"

Tom's calm cracked, and he answered the insult in a low, threatening voice. "You've hurt her enough. Do the respectable thing as a parent and let her go. Find help so you can be more than a piece of shit if the time ever comes when Ellie wants to see you again. Don't come looking for her, don't contact her. Just sign the papers."

They stared at each other, but it was Ellie's father that folded. He rushed out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him. Tom sighed and relaxed. Everyone in the room was staring at him. It was to be expected after that show. He waved Ruth and Ellie forward. "Go on, girls, it's your turn. He's gone. I'll call my lawyer so we can take the next steps."

Ellie slowly returned to her normal self, but she was jittery for hours after they returned from the public office. Still, she'd gone through her first meeting with her father in months, and she'd seen how he folded under Tom's steady determination. Ellie didn't think she was that strong yet, but it gave her courage to know her tormentor could be beaten in real life as well, not just in an act.

***

Not a single noise had disturbed the quiet in Ellie's room for hours. And if one had, she'd missed it. The book in her hands drew her in, pulled her into an imaginary world. Ellie didn't hear the rasp of the pages as she turned them, nor did she hear the knock on her door. The knock got louder, more insistent. "Elizabeth!"

Startled, Ellie slammed her book shut and shot up in her bed. She hurried toward her door to open it, but it was locked. How? She never locked her door, father didn't allow her to. Then why was it locked? "I'm sorry, father, but the door's locked."

"Unlock it."

"I can't, I don't have a key."

"You locked it didn't you?"

"I didn't, please believe me."

The door rattled in its lock as her father pulled on it. "Who locked it then?"

"I... I don't know."

No answer came from beyond the door. Ellie wrung her hands and looked around for a key, maybe she'd just forgotten.

Her father's angry voice coming through the solid door chilled her to the bone. "It was your brother, wasn't it? The little shit's trying to keep me away from you. Where's he hiding? Is he in there?"

Ellie froze and turned back towards the door. What was she going to do? She had to protect Jeff. "I'll have it open in a second! Please wait."

The boom of a strong kick against the door startled Ellie, and she stumbled backwards. "Don't bother. I'll get the key off your brother."

Panic overpowered Ellie's fear, and she flew at the door handle, twisting and pulling it with both her hands. Nothing happened. She pounded the door and shouted, "Please, father! Just wait! I'll open it!"

But it was no use, she could hear his footsteps move further away from her door. Ellie doubled her efforts to force the door to open. Her hands hurt. They glowed red, and she even had cuts. Still she kept trying.

Ellie stood panting, leaned up against her door, when she heard the sound. Drag. Thump. Drag. Thump. She sank down on her knees and clawed her nails into the wood of the cursed door. He'd gotten Jeff. Too many times she'd heard that sound. Every fiber in Ellie's body wanted to bust through her door and run to where Jeff was so she could hold him close and cuddle him. Maybe make him smile even if he was hurting. She loved those brave smiles the most.

Soon, the noise stopped and Ellie heard the door to Jeff's room closing. Father's footsteps got closer again. Ellie's blood rushed through her veins. Her breathing came in quick, shallow bursts. So fast she felt she was suffocating. Ellie fought to calm down, but the more she tried to control it, the more she felt she was dying. Her eyes were wide in her purple, choking face as she fell to the ground, staring at the cursed door.

The lock clicked. The handle turned. Father was coming in! She had to run! Crawl away and hide. But she couldn't move. Better not to think, not to struggle. Better to run somewhere inside of herself to a place where father couldn't catch her. So much better.

When her father's footsteps reached her, Ellie's breathing had calmed down, and her eyes saw nothing. Her father took her hand and helped her up. "That's a good girl. Now go sit where I want you to, yes. That's good. You're so beautiful. So much like your mother. I love you, Elizabeth. You're such a good girl."

Ellie woke and balled up under her sheets. The darkness soothed her. It hid the world from her and reassured her she was alone. The feel of her duvet reminded her she was no longer with her father, at home. She'd slept under sheets there. Danger existed there in the shape of her father, but here she was safe. She didn't have to be alone here. If she was scared, she could find someone to hold her.

Before she got out of bed, Ellie peeked out from under the duvet to see if the room was empty. It was. Of course it was. Still, on her way to the master bedroom, Ellie kept glancing over her shoulder, and the fear she'd felt in her dream returned. The door handle to Tom and Ruth's bedroom was the biggest hurdle on her short trip to safety. She'd break down and cry if the door was locked. It wasn't, and it slid open without a sound.

Faint light shone into the room from the hallway, and Ellie watched the sleeping faces before her. Ruth looked so small, snuggled up against Tom. He had his arm around her. The duvet hid all but the top of Ruth's head from the world. Tom's face looked peaceful. Contentment. That's what the scene before her showed. The sight made Ellie's fear fade.

How many times had she watched Jeff in his sleep? At night he didn't need to worry about a thing. When he slept, Jeff was just a boy. Every day, just another boy asleep in his bed with soccer sheets.

Ellie moved toward the bed with tears wetting her cheeks. She'd crawled in bed with Jeff more times than she could count. His little body was just so pleasant to hold onto. He never tossed in his sleep. Ellie always hoped that Jeff would know in his dreams that someone was with him. In the mornings he always smiled when he woke up in her arms. Just for that smile alone Ellie risked her father's anger again and again.

This time it would be her smiling in the morning. It made her sad and happy at the same time.

***

Ellie opened her eyes and saw Tom looking down at her, with Ruth's head nestled on top of his shoulder. She closed her eyes again and rolled over to her other side. A blush crept across her cheeks.

"Good morning."

When Ellie didn't respond, Tom poked her in the side. In a quiet voice she said, "Good morning."

"That's better. It was a surprise to find you in bed with us. Is everything all right?"

"I'm okay, it's just... I had a bad dream, and I didn't want to be alone so I came here to watch you guys. Not that I do that all the time or anything like that, but I used to watch Jeff, you know? You were both sleeping, and I didn't want to wake you. But I didn't want to leave either, so I crawled in with you. I hope you don't think it's weird."

Ellie closed her eyes when she felt Tom's hand on her head.

"It's fine."

Ruth put in her two cents. "You're cute when you sleep, Ellie. Sucking your thumb like a little baby."

Ellie saw the smile on Ruth's face. She couldn't help but return it. Ruth pulled on Tom's shoulder, and he rolled onto his back so she could crawl over him and nestle between him and Ellie. "You want to talk about it?"

Ellie shook her head, but still she felt herself move closer to Ruth. "Hold me?"

She didn't dare look up, so the arms that wrapped around her felt like a double relief. The tears came then. If only she'd run away sooner. If only... "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Ellie."

"I should've taken him away so long ago." Her sobs made it hard for her to even finish her sentences. "But I didn't, and I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. Nobody's blaming you."

"Why not? I could have saved him!"

Ruth pushed Ellie's face into her chest. Ellie struggled and tried to fight her, but Ruth didn't allow her to speak a single word. "Be quiet. Don't hurt yourself like that. You were a wonderful Sister to a remarkable little boy, I'm sure of it. Had you known it was possible, you would've been out of there in a heartbeat. 

"But listen to me, Ellie. You can only think of so many things at the same time. If it takes all you have to just keep on fighting, then you won't even think about escaping. And that's even more true when you have someone to protect. You did your best, Ellie. I just know you did. Just shut up and cry now. We'll help you get through it."

Ruth's words froze Ellie in place. Ellie had no idea what to think or feel first. She felt stupid for blaming herself, yet she still felt guilty. She was sad, but her memories warmed her. The woman holding her warmed her. Above all she felt regret. Her hands clawed at Ruth's shirt, and she buried her face even deeper in Ruth's chest. 

Tom pulled the duvet over the two of them, making a tiny space for them. Ellie couldn't see a thing anymore. All she could hear was her own crying and the soft heartbeat of her friend, her mentor. The heat of their bodies was trapped underneath the duvet and became close to unbearable, but Ellie just let it seep inside of her. She struggled for breath, but still she wouldn't let go.

It was all too much for Ellie. Her grief was too deep, and she didn't see a way to bridge the fissure torn through her heart. 

'You'll be okay. It's fine. I'm here.'

Ruth's soft-spoken words made Ellie believe that maybe there was a way. She lifted her head, and Ruth stopped her whispering. If there was a way, Ruth would know it. "How can I feel better?"

Ruth grabbed the duvet and threw it aside, allowing fresh air to stream over them. She inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled before she answered. "How? You fight until you feel sad, then you grieve until you can fight again. You keep living your life and there will come a time when the fight is over. That's when you grieve for what you've lost, for what could have been. That's when you accept it. But only after you've won the fight."

"How do I fight?"

"With everything you can think of. Anything will do."

Ellie nodded.

"You understand?"

"I have no idea."

Ruth laughed and said, "At least you've still got a sense of humor. That's worth a lot. Let's get breakfast. I'm sure Tom made something special."

Ruth grabbed Ellie's hand and half dragged Ellie out of bed and on to the kitchen. Ellie's smile returned on her way to the kitchen. A happy Ruth always made her smile.

***

Tom glanced at Ellie, she was reading again. She'd been steadily devouring books lately. Like she had when she just got here. Ruth sat beside him, and Tom didn't even have to ask his question to get a whispered answer. "She's fine."

"Are you sure? She hasn't been talking much to me for the past week. Every time I see her, she's got her nose buried in another book. Does she talk to you?"

"We've talked a lot when we're training. She's full of energy when she sets foot on the mat and there's no end to the things she tells me. Every word gets punched at me and half of the time I don't even get what she's saying, but she's throwing it all out, and I love it. I can't get enough of seeing her like that. I'm not sparring with the same Ellie on the mat. The one that throws me around is the one she wants to become, I can feel it."

Tom listened to Ruth and wondered. Was she right? Had Ellie taken another step closer to recovery? He hoped she was right.

"Sir?"

Startled from his thoughts, Tom looked at Ruth and saw she'd lowered her head and folded her hands together. A position he'd taught her to use when they were in public. Tom forgot about his thoughts and focused on his little girl. She needed something from him. In a voice soft enough so Ellie wouldn't hear, Tom said "You have something to ask me, little girl?"




Calm Ch. 04



"Yes, Sir. Do I have your permission to do so?"

"Go ahead."

"It's Ellie. I love helping her and seeing her get better, but it's hard sometimes, Sir. She doesn't believe things will actually get better. From time to time she says something so bleak it hurts my heart to hear it. I asked her once why she fights, and she said it was easier for her if she thought of everything she's going through as nothing but a challenge because you can win a challenge if you try hard enough."

Ruth squeezed her hands together and couldn't keep them still. "That's how Ellie put it. I spar with her, and I listen, but I have no idea what she's thinking. I'm out of my depth with her, but that's okay. She has someone, and that's the important thing."

She looked up at Tom, her eyes pleading. "I want us to start a new project, Sir. Something just between me and you. Something fun and exhilarating. I think you need it too, Sir. Ellie takes a lot out of us. We care for her, and we worry about her. And you're with her all day long. I want you to have something to look forward to and to plan out. Something..."

Tom laid his hand on her cheek and leaned forward to kiss her. It was more a touch of the lips than a proper kiss. "Let's go somewhere else, little girl. Wait for me in the bedroom. I'll put the cups away."

"Sir, please let me—"

"The bedroom." The look he gave her left no room for argument. 

Ruth got up and left without a word of protest. Tom shook his head and started on washing the cups. She should've known better than bringing something like that up when Ellie could overhear them. Tom let his thoughts wander as he considered Ruth's offer. A new way to shape Ruth. Something to lose himself in together with his little girl. What could be more fun than that? Tom found Ruth where he'd expected she'd be, kneeling to the right of the door. "You can go get comfortable next to my armchair, little girl. And there's no protocol right now. Say whatever's on your mind."

Tom sat down in his chair and smiled when Ruth settled down to his right on the pillows he'd heaped on the floor. He put his hand on her head and gently stroked her hair. "It hasn't been that long since we re-enacted what Sebastien did to you. I know how hard that was on you. Are you sure you want to start on another serious project so soon?"

"This is different."

"How?"

Ruth looked up at Tom and rubbed her cheek against the palm of his hand. "That was about the past. This is about us, about now. I want to feel like I belong to you, Sir. Nothing feels better than that. With Ellie here, it's been hard to feel like that. I was more your equal in caring for her than I was your servant. But I want to serve you, Sir. Every day."

Tom sighed and leaned back in his seat, his hand slipped to the back of Ruth's neck and he idly massaged her slender neck. "I think you're right, little girl. It's been hectic and confusing and some things happened that threw me off balance, both with you and with Ellie. But I want to do this with you. We have to think through what we're doing though. I only want the best for my little girl."

"Thank you, Sir." 

It was clear this was important to Ruth. Tom shared her sense of importance. It was time for them to go exploring again. Where things would lead them was a mystery for them to uncover together. They sat in silence for a while, each mulling over his own thoughts. Tom sent Ruth to make coffee, but it didn't disrupt the atmosphere of quiet focus in the bedroom. Tom put his empty cup on the side table and said, "Let's not think about what we'll do, instead I want you to tell me what you want to show me by doing it."

Ruth stared into the distance beyond the rim of her cup and didn't turn to Tom when she spoke. "I want to show you I can do anything at all under your guidance, Sir, so you'll be proud to have me. When I feel your eyes on me, I want to know how pleased you are. I want to master something for you, Sir. Something difficult to learn so you need to train me often. And I want it to push me as a person too. It needs to be something I haven't dared to do before. I need to show you I'm always growing because of you."

The bemused smile on Ruth's face when she turned to him made Tom laugh. He shook his head in mock disbelief. "And I'll make it work somehow?"

The smile didn't disappear when she nodded.

"Could you write that down for me in more words? Just put down anything that comes to mind. Help me understand. I'll think about it and see what I come up with."

Ruth's smile widened and her face lit up. "So you'll really do it?"

"Of course, I can't say no to a request like that."

"Sir?"

The tone of her voice made Tom lift his eyebrow, and he said "Yes, little girl?"

"Can your servant sit on your lap?"

"Yes."

Ruth jumped up and snuggled into his lap. In one smooth move she threw her arms around Tom's neck and pulled him in for a burning hot kiss. She had opened a door inside of her and invited her master inside. That he had accepted her invitation made her giddy with excitement. She didn't know what was to come, but this man would make it special. And that was worth pouring her heart into this kiss and into what she hoped would follow.

***

A few days later, Tom called Ruth to his study and when she entered, he slid a wrapped up present towards her on his desk. She stepped forward to take it, but Tom stopped her. "I've come up with an idea, little girl. After some thinking and a lot of looking around, I think I came up with something you'll like. If I'm wrong, then there's no harm done. Say no if you don't like it, and I'll find something else. All right?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Open your present then."

Tom smiled when he saw how eager Ruth was to tear off the paper. Her hands froze when she uncovered half of the book cover and saw the picture on it. "Sir, what is this book?"

"It's a photography book. All the models are tied up. Some in simple ways, others in amazing ways. It's called Kinbaku or Shibari, in English it means tight binding. It's Japanese, and it has that wonderful Japanese philosophy behind it. They see these bindings as something that affects you on an emotional more than a physical level. Have a look inside, see what you think."

Ruth tore off the remaining paper and flipped open the first page. On it was a woman curled up into a ball, wrapped in a net of ropes. There was no way she could move. She hung suspended in a web made of cord. A little fly, caught and enveloped by a spider.

The second page showed another woman wrapped in a ropes, but this time the ropes continued upwards and formed a tree bare of leaves. The ropes traveled further down than the woman too and formed the roots of the tree. Ruth ran her fingers over the picture and wondered what it would feel like. What would she be thinking? Would she feel trapped under the earth? Or would she think of herself as a forest nymph entwined with her tree's roots?

Page upon page Ruth marveled at the intricacies she saw. Different lighting, different poses, different ropes. It was all moot. Nothing counted more than the model. She was always the center of the piece. Her expression, how she'd twisted her body. The pages flew by. They enthralled her.

When Ruth came to the end of the book, she looked up at Tom. He smiled and said, "You can look at it again if you want to."

"Thank you." Ruth took the trip through the pages a second time, but this time much slower. Her fingers traced ropes and limbs. She studied the models' faces to figure out what it had felt like for them. Every description and explanation was a treat to her. She wanted it to be her in those pictures. "Sir, this is wonderful."

"I think so too. When I imagine what you'll look like tied up like that... I can't seem to think of anything else."

Ruth swallowed and said, "Really, Sir? We can do this?"

"Yes, little girl. I want to do this with you."

Ruth looked back down at the book and closed her eyes. "I'd love to do it, Sir. But I don't know if it'll be much of a challenge, Sir. I mean, it's just getting tied up. It's not like I have to do a lot. I can see myself doing this tomorrow."

Tom took the book in his hands and flipped through the pages. "Not challenging? I guess some of the bindings in this book aren't very difficult. And the bondage we've done together so far was never very complicated. But you've only glimpsed what's possible. Shibari can be used with many goals in mind. The ones I want to explore with you are aesthetics, suffering and embarrassment."

"Embarrassment? I don't understand, Sir."

"I didn't buy this book just to show you Shibari. It's a form of art, and I want to get you in the most beautiful positions I can think and then play with you when you have no choice but to be played with. I might even photograph or film you."

Ruth blushed bright red and said, "Oh. I couldn't do that, Sir. That's just too much."

Tom put down the book, leaned forward and said, "That's not all, little girl. I spoke to your belly dancing teacher, and she told me you're having trouble leaning back far enough. She told me about other difficulties you're having too. I'll take everything you find difficult in your dancing, and I'll put it in the poses I want you to make. I won't let you get hurt, but I'll make our play something that motivates you to improve in other areas too."

He grinned at Ruth and said, "Tell me, does it sound intriguing yet?"

Ruth's mouth was open, but no sound made it past her lips. Tom smiled and said, "And of course, you can't slack off on your care for Ellie. She needs you just as she needs me. I'll allow other parts of your service to become less prominent or less frequent so we can focus on the practice we both need. I'll have to go see Cris for some lessons. She and Philip taught me everything I know about bondage. Anyway, work, Ellie, Shibari, service... Do you think you'll feel like you're serving me well, little girl? With so many chances to show me your love for me, I can imagine you'll be a happy little girl."

"Thank you, Sir. This means so much to me."

Tom got up from his chair and wrapped his arms around Ruth from behind. Her shoulders were tense, and she grabbed his hand in hers. His voice was soft when he said, "I won't make things harder than they need to be, and I'll care for you like I always have. If you feel overwhelmed, ask for free time. I need to know when you can't handle something."

Ruth turned around in his embrace and hid her face in his shirt. Her voice was shaky when she said, "You've thought things through this much?"

"Of course."

"Will it hurt?"

"Not in any way that's bad for you, little girl. We'll be careful so there's a smaller risk of you getting injured."

"But I'll like it?"

"Knowing you, I'm sure you'll love it."

Ruth turned up her face and with a big smile on her face, she said "I'll do it, Sir."

"You don't want to think it over?"

"It's ten times better than what I thought up. I love you, Sir. Thank you for this. It means so much to me."

"It's nothing, little girl. I do it because I want to see you happy." Tom bent down and kissed Ruth before she could thank him again. He picked her up off the floor and carried her to the bedroom. He put her down and took off her clothes. Ruth's hands were always touching him somewhere. She didn't want to let go. When she was naked, Tom undressed as well and they got in bed together. Ruth pressed her little body against his. The feel of his warmth sheltering her reminded her again of why she loved this man.

***

Ruth came home from work. Strange, Tom wasn't in the kitchen. He should be home, started on dinner by now. Maybe he was in his study. Not there either. The bedroom was empty too, and Ruth's breath quickened. If Tom wasn't here, then there was only one room left where he could be. The playroom. She smiled and hurried over to the playroom.

"I've been waiting for you, little girl."

Ruth kneeled down and got in position at Tom's feet. "Sorry to have kept you waiting, Sir."

"I'm glad to wait, it makes the fun part so much sweeter. Something arrived in a package today. A long thing."

"Long?" Ruth glanced up and saw the coiled rope in Tom's hand. Her eyes fixed on it and her mouth went dry.

"Cat got your tongue?" Tom moved the rope around and Ruth's eyes followed it, entranced. Tom smiled and said, "Come closer, little girl. I want you to feel it."

Ruth shuffled closer on her knees with none of her usual grace and reached out for the rope. Tom grabbed her hand and said, "Not like that. Strip naked and drape yourself face down on my lap."

"Yes, Sir."

Her answer was soft, Tom could barely hear it. But she obeyed him. Her firm tush was available to him. There were so many things Tom could think of doing to it, but he kept it simple. He brushed a loop of rope along the tight skin. "Do you like how that feels?"

Ruth moaned.

"Answer me."

"I love it, Sir. It's really soft."

"I know. It's bamboo silk, and it's going to do wonderful things to your body." Tom slipped two fingers inside of Ruth's pussy and felt how wet and hot she was. He chuckled and said, "You've got plenty of ideas about how it'll feel, don't you? This rope is special, little girl. I'll wrap it around you body over and over. Little by little it'll get tighter. You'll be wrapped up like a beautiful, helpless present."

He pulled his fingers back and drew them across Ruth's back, sending shivers down her spine. "I'll tie your breasts, your arms, your legs... Rope all over you. There won't be a part of you that's not tied up. Can you imagine?"

Tom ran the soft rope across her back, teasing the skin he woke up just moments before. "It'll feel like this. Soft but firm. Tight. Hugging you. Restricting you. You won't be able to move, but you won't mind. You'll have nowhere to go and no place you'd rather be. Do you know what people love about this particular rope, little girl?"

Ruth startled when he slapped her ass to get her attention. She didn't want him to stop talking. "I don't know, Sir."

Tom took a length of rope and nestled it in the crease between her leg and her ass, letting it rest there while he brushed her wet pussy with another bit. Ruth squeaked as it bumped against her clit.

"You see.." Tom slid the rope back and forth across her thigh. "This rope is a little different. It holds a knot well, and you can tie a beautiful harness with it. It's soft and strong, but it slides around a little after it's been tied. So imagine what you're feeling now all over your body. Every time you move. Every time you breathe."

Ruth couldn't keep back her moans any longer. The rope kept bumping into her clit and the fire that Tom had set alight in her pussy demanded her to push back and get more of that.

"I'm going to tie you up today, and you won't be able to move. I want to see you helpless and squirming. When I'm finished, I'll leave you tied up for a while and by the time I untie you, the whole room will smell like a horny little girl. Your poor little pussy won't be able to help it."

Tom tapped Ruth's ass twice, so she knew to get off of him and then gestured for her to stand up before he stood up himself. He put his hands on her shoulders and guided her to a mat he'd laid out. "I'll start in a second. I'll go slow. If anything bothers you, tell me right away. For now, I want you to think of nothing. Shut out everything. Focus on what you're feeling. Lose yourself in it."

He turned Ruth around and pressed a light kiss on her lips. "I'll make you beautiful."

With those words, Tom stepped back from Ruth and grabbed his rope. A flick of his wrist and the bundle uncoiled. The slap of the ends hitting the floor, sent a shiver along Ruth's spine. She watched Tom slide the rope between his fingers to find the middle. He put the end of the loop over her head, drew it down until it was centered between Ruth's shoulder blades and said, "Hold this."

And so it went. At first the rope hung loose against her body. Next, Tom made a series of knots. One just above Ruth's breasts, one below. Another at her navel and a fourth just above her pussy. Tom looked up at Ruth before he finished that particular knot and nestled it snug against her clit. The last knot teased the sensitive part between her pussy and her ass. Ruth's eyes went wide when Tom pulled the rope up along her back and drew it through the loop between her shoulders. This was different.

Next, Tom separated the ends of the rope and wrapped them around Ruth before drawing them underneath the front of the loop. "I have to cinch them so they get nice and tight later on. Do you like it, little girl?"

"Mmm."

Tom smiled and continued his work. To cinch the ropes, he drew the loose ends of the rope underneath the piece he'd just coiled around Ruth. The pieces of rope rubbed together and Tom saw in Ruth's eyes that that little fact didn't leave her untouched. "Your pussy's wet isn't it?"

Ruth looked down and said, "Yes, Sir."

"Is it because the ropes slide over each other?"

She shook her head. "No, I love how that feels, but it's not that. You're here, and you're looking at me. I know what's coming, but I'm not afraid. I want it. You look at me like I'm the only thing in the world, and I don't want you to ever stop looking at me like that. Tie me up, make me helpless. I don't care. As long as I know you'll be there to untie me and take care of me I'll be happy."

Tom smiled and cupped Ruth's cheek. "You deserve a kiss for that one, little girl."

"Please, Sir." Ruth closed her eyes as she leaned forward. Neither of them made a noise when their lips met, but the way Ruth clamped her hands into Tom's shirt spoke volumes. Tom stepped back and said, "Let's keep going."

The ropes had to be drawn through the gap between each set of knots. Every time, the ropes had to be cinched. Every time, the entire remaining length of the rope rubbed against Ruth's skin and her harness. It felt like Tom's hands touched her everywhere at once. Soft, sleepy moans escaped Ruth. She felt so safe and so horny. Her arousal had simmered at the start, but once she could feel the ropes on her body, it had turned up bit by bit. It was a sensual experience for her, so different from normal sex. 

When Tom finished, he led Ruth in front of a mirror. Her breath caught when she saw herself. The white ropes crisscrossed her body like a honeycomb. The rope was taut over her flesh, but she didn't see any chafing. It was just snug. Tom's reflection stood behind her in the mirror. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her chest strained against the ropes, and she moaned. It felt like Tom was embracing her. Ruth startled when she felt his arm on her shoulder.

"Little girl, we're not done yet. Lie down on the mat."

"Yes, Sir."

Not a hair on her head even contemplated disobeying. Ruth had rarely felt this calm, loved, safe and excited at the same time. It was surreal. She gracefully kneeled down and then laid herself on her belly.

"Put your arms on your back so your fingers are close to your elbow."

Ruth obeyed and moaned when she felt Tom deftly tie her wrist to her elbows. This bit was more familiar to him. After he secured her arms to the harness, Tom said "Lift your feet now."

Ruth's calm wavered as her excitement won out. She still felt wonderfully safe, and it made her body want to explore that pocket of safety. Soon, her ankles were tied together and a last rope connected her ankles to her wrists. "Everything's okay? Nothing too tight?"

"I'm fine, Sir."

"Good, I'm glad it worked out this well so far. It's amazing, little girl. So worth the effort to see you like this. And it's about to get better. Tell me if I stretch you too much."

Tom tightened the last rope and secured it, completing the hogtie. The arch of Ruth's body was a sight to behold. Her breasts and her pussy were lifted off the mat. Tom could see her lips glisten underneath the ropes hugging her slit. "Okay?"




Calm Ch. 04



"I'm fine, Sir."

Tom double checked despite her words and wiggled and tugged the various bonds until he was satisfied. "I'll leave you like this for an hour. I won't leave this room for more than five minutes at a time. You're not allowed to speak, except to mention your ties pinching or you feeling any numbness or pain. If you feel any discomfort, you say so immediately."

"Yes, Sir."

"Good, I'm going to love watching you squirm."

For Ruth, the hour spent tied up was a revelation. She'd been tied up and suspended once before, but at the time she'd just been immobile. This wasn't like that. She felt her body stretch. The ropes made it a little hard for her to breathe. Every time she shifted, something would move or push. Her pussy was soaked, and her skin tingled. She couldn't think a straight thought even if she'd wanted to.

From time to time, Ruth would look in the mirror and see Tom's reflection in it. Each time, a wave of love and desire flooded her. He'd done this to her. He'd given her this wonderful gift. And now he guarded her in case something went wrong. Ruth couldn't see it, but she just knew that Tom watched her more than he read his book. It set alight a slow burning fire in her stomach to know he loved how she looked tied up. Ruth wanted to do something back. If she couldn't, she'd explode. It became her mantra while her mind swam in the jumble of sensations she was trapped in for an hour.

When the time came to release Ruth, Tom carefully untied anything that had any tension on it. The harness would have to stay on for now because he couldn't wait any longer to touch his little girl. He pulled Ruth into his lap, and she put her cheek against his chest, suddenly exhausted. "Let your servant do something back, Sir."

"Shhhh. Just rest."

"No, please, I have to."

Tom felt Ruth try to squeeze her hand in between their bodies so she could reach his cock, but he grabbed it and put back in her lap. "I know you have to, and I want you to. You don't know how much I want you to. But not now. Rest first. When you're back on planet earth, I'll give you permission to do whatever you can think up to please me. That sound fair?"

"Mmm." Ruth snuggled into Tom and forget she knew words for a while as she floated in the aftermath. Tom stroked her hair and couldn't get the smile off his face. What wonder had his little girl made him discover now?



Calm Ch. 05



Author's note: As I said in part 4, I will be releasing the story more quickly now.

 As always, please comment your beautiful asses off so you can tell me what you thought, what you found odd or unfitting. You are all my proofreaders, and as such you can mean quite a lot to me as a writer.

 I hope you enjoy this next installment of the story. There are 2 still left to go.

 _________________________________________________

 Ruth woke up in Tom's arms floating on a tiny cloud of relaxation. She snuggled a little closer and sighed in pleasure.

 "Welcome back, little girl. Nice nap?"

 "Mhm. Wonderful."

 "That was something special."

 She kissed his neck and whispered, "For you as well?"

 "Tying you up... seeing you like that... I could've done anything. Anything at all. And you would've come hard, straining against those ropes. You'd have begged for more. But I held back. I wanted this first time to be about helplessness. I wanted your body to stretch. God, you were so beautiful. I still can't stop thinking about it." 

 Ruth believed Tom. His cock was a rod of hot steel against her leg. She wrapped her little hand around it and heard him moan as it twitched in her hand. "Sir, you told me I could do whatever I wanted to make you feel good. Can I show you how much what you did means to me now? Please?"

 Tom smiled and pulled Ruth in for a kiss. The kiss turned into a dance where Ruth tried to tease and Tom would have none of it. He grabbed her hair and claimed her mouth in a kiss that left her breathless. She'd stopped stroking him and had her hand clamped tight around his hard cock. Tom pulled her mouth off his and let her see the desire in his eyes. "Do your very best, stroked. So I don't have to take what I want. Understand?"

 Ruth swallowed and nodded. Her pussy was soaked already. She loved when he was like this. A lion that allowed his prey to live just that moment longer before he pounced on it without mercy. "Just lie on your back, Sir. Your servant will take care of you. She'll do a good job, I promise. It's all she wants."

 Tom laid down on his back on the mat, and his expression was calm, but Ruth knew better. His eyes hunted hers every time she looked away, and his hands twitched when she moved. What little Ruth had said had flipped on all Tom's switches. Ruth shuddered at the thought of letting him loose on her. A deep breath calmed her down as she settled down on his thighs. She scooted until his cock slid between her soaked pussy lips.

 That first hot touch sent electricity through her, and Ruth groaned as she fought not to come. She put her hands on his belly for support and felt the barely restrained power that made his body tremble. One look in his direction was all it took for Tom to draw her in for a kiss that made her forget she even had a body. Her pussy never stopped rubbing his cock though. Tom held her head and Ruth held his. Her stomach trembled with the effort it took her to keep hanging over him, but she didn't want to stop. She wanted to give, and she laid her whole being in the kiss. Tom swallowed her whole and overwhelmed her.

 Ruth pulled away from his lips and gasped for breath. His hands reached up again, but she shook her head. "Sir, please. You're too much. I can't do anything if I can't even think. I want you so much, and I need you to feel ten times what I felt. It's what I want. Please. Just one hour. Let me drive us mad." She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. "When we come together, it'll be indescribable. Please, Sir?"

 Tom put his hand on her cheek and said, "Do what you think is right. I'll follow your lead." 

 A radiant smile brightened up Ruth's face. "Thank you, Sir. You won't regret it."

 Ruth leaned forward and kissed Tom's neck while she let her nails run over his chest. It wasn't long before her lips traveled downwards and explored new grounds. She took her time nibbling, kissing and licking each piece of skin she wandered to. Her hair fell down and hid her face. It whispered against Tom's skin as she went even further down to tease his belly button. Further still. This time, Ruth teased his thighs with little nips and scratches. She wished she could be everywhere like the ropes had been.

 Ruth's love bites got a little harder as she neared his cock. Just before she hurt Tom, she let go and licked the spot until the soft red glow on his skin satisfied her that pain had turned into pleasure. 

 Time passed and Ruth lost herself in her task. She didn't look up once. All her attention was focused in her hands, her mouth, each part of her body that touched his. Tom moved and squirmed and all Ruth did was adjust and keep going.

 When it was time to touch Tom's cock, Ruth's eyes were unfocused. She rubbed her soft cheek against the silken skin of his throbbing cock. She licked its length and took it between her teeth to feel how hard it was. Diamond. Good.

 Ruth sucked his cock like Tom had taught her to. There was no other way for her. She'd tease herself and carefully keep herself on the same edge her master balanced on. Her hand slipped between her legs, and her body shocked at the first touch to her clit. She'd have to be careful. Tom's pleasure was her pleasure. This was true. He had given her an order to give herself pleasure every time she pleased him with her mouth and throat. Gratitude welled up inside of her.

 Everything she'd learned, Ruth did. Each little trick. With every touch she had to slow down. Ruth knew how close Tom was because of how little it would take her to get off herself. There was no doubt in her that the fire that burned inside of her was reflected in him. Slower, ever slower. Time lost its meaning. She didn't look up. No more hands now. She put one hand on his stomach and felt Tom quiver. His abs were rock hard with tension. Any moment now.

 Her mouth sunk down on his pole. Ruth had taken him into her throat plenty of times already, but this time she'd take him over the edge. Slowly, ever so slowly. She couldn't touch her clit anymore. Even touching too close would set her off. Her thighs were wet with her juices. 

 A realization struck Ruth, and her hand dropped away from her pussy. Seconds later, she grabbed hold of Tom's thighs with both her hands. She was so close to coming that his orgasm would set hers off. Just knowing she'd blown his mind would be enough. His pleasure would be her pleasure. Now.

 Ruth drove Tom's cock down into her throat. From the quiet place in her mind she heard his gasp. His hands grabbed her hair as his body shocked and convulsed, pouring his come down her throat. Ruth's own strangled moan escaped around his cock as her body exploded. Everything that had built up when she was tied up had been battering her self-restraint from the moment Tom let her know he wanted her.

 She'd fought it by losing herself in his pleasure. She'd stoked the fires by pleasing herself for him. Now it all collapsed down on Ruth. Her limbs lost their strength as she flopped to the floor with Tom still shooting jets of come down her willing throat. There was no pain as he pulled her hair. There was no panic to breathe. Only happiness. She'd given something back. 

 Ruth was still drunk on her afterglow when Tom dragged her up onto his body. Her eyes stared off into space, and a little smile graced her features. Tom rested his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath. "Ruth? Ruth?"

 She blinked her eyes a few times and saw his face float in front of her. Her smile bloomed into the most beautiful expression of joy he'd ever seen. "Yes, Sir?" 

 "I'm proud I have you. What you just did... It's not something I taught you. I didn't make you do it. You did it for me. Thank you. Thank you for being with me. I love you, little girl. I don't say it often, but right now it feels like the right thing to say. There's just one other thing that also needs to be said."

 "What, Sir?"

 The look in his eyes was serious when he said, "Don't do that too often."

 Startled and a little panicked, Ruth said "Why not, Sir?"

 Tom's expression hadn't lost an ounce of its gravity when he said, "You'd kill me."

 Ruth's eyes widened before she laughed. Tom joined her and hugged her close to him. "You, little girl, are one of the wonders of the world. And you're all mine."

 He pulled Ruth against him, still giggling. "Invite some friends over in a few days, have a girls night. You deserve it."





***





Ruth smiled when Ellie jumped at the sound of the doorbell. "Don't be so nervous, Ellie. You'll be fine. I'm sure you'll love both of them."

 Ellie looked up at Ruth with a pleading look in her eyes. "Do I have to be there with you? You'll have more fun without me. Please, I just don't want to deal with people."

 Ruth smiled at Ellie and patted her on the head. "You stay right where you are. I'll take care of the rest. Don't worry about what to talk about. Jenny and Nicky'll take care of that. All you have to do is relax and go with the flow."

 Ruth got up from the couch and got the door. 

 "Ruth! It's been too long."

 Ruth's laugh sounded through the room as she hugged Jenny. "It's good to see you."

 "Tell me about it. I'm glad to be out. You know I've started knitting? Can't leave the damn wool alone even though I suck at it. Jabbed my finger God knows how many times."

 Ruth smiled and said, "I hope you used red wool then."

 "Hey. You bad person."

 "Oh, very bad. No need to tell me, I know all about it."

 Jenny chuckled and stepped inside. She saw Ellie and gave the girl a once-over before she turned back to Ruth with a slight frown on her face. "And who's this?"

 "That's Ellie. Ellie, Jenny. Jenny, Ellie. She's lived with us for a while now."

 Jenny's frown deepened. " A while? You've never told me about her."

 Ruth put her hand on Jenny's arm and said, "We wanted to respect her privacy, Jen. Tom and I made the decision and stuck by it. But that doesn't matter tonight. You're here to have fun."

 Jenny looked back at Ellie and shrugged. "Come here, Ellie, and I'll give you a proper greeting."

 Ellie got up from the couch, reluctance clear in her hesitance to leave the couch. Jenny cast Ruth a quick look, but all she did was wave her on. Jenny hugged Ellie and while they were close together, she said "Nice to meet you, Ellie. Let's have some fun tonight. You old enough to drink?"

 That last comment got Jenny a surprised look. Her eyebrow rose, and she said, "You're not?"

 "I am. Just never had a drink is all."

 "Never? Ruth, were did you find this poor girl? Tom still keeps his good stuff in the same spot?"

 Ruth smiled and said, "He does. Take whatever you want. Just nothing from the bottom shelf."

 "Got it. Ellie, what's your drink?"

 Ellie didn't know what to say and just looked at Ruth for help. Ruth shook her head with a smile. "Uhm, I don't know."

 "Sapphire sin it is. Gin, lemon, ginger. It's the best I've made with the stuff these people have."

 Ellie put up her hand to protest, but it was too late. Jenny had already walked off. Ruth chuckled when she saw Ellie's lost expression. "She's in a good mood, and she gets like that when she's feeling good. You'll get used to it."

 "I've never had a drink."

 Ruth shrugged and said, "So what? Don't drink too fast, and you'll be fine."

 The doorbell rang a second time and Ruth opened the door. In the doorway stood Nicky, a woman who could rival Ellie's looks. Chocolate colored, slim, trim and with a radiant smile that lit up her face. She was wearing tiny shorts and a little blouse that left little to the imagination. There'd be trouble if she didn't wear a top underneath it. She wasn't lacking in the breast department either. Ruth seemed tiny compared to the new arrival, and she laughed when Nicky knelt down before she hugged Ruth. "I'm not that small."

 "I'd get on my knees for you anytime, Ruth. You know that." She laughed and rubbed her face against Ruth's chest. Ruth pushed her away and said, "Behave. There's someone I want you to meet. Jenny's making us drinks already."

 "Nice. She's the best. So who's my new victim?"

 Ruth stepped back and introduced her to Ellie. "Nicky, meet Ellie. She's been staying with us for a while, and we figured she could do with some fun."

 Nicky got up, handed Ruth the bag she'd been holding and stepped over towards Ellie. She put her hands on Ellie's shoulders and leaned in close. So close her lips almost touched Ellie's. Ellie stood frozen, unsure of what to do when Nicky suddenly pulled back and started laughing. "You should've seen your face! See that Ruth? Where'd you find her? I want to keep her."

 Ruth shrugged when Ellie looked at her wide-eyed and said, "Well, you've met Nicky now. Be careful she doesn't flip your skirt."

 Both of the older women laughed when Ellie grabbed said skirt. Jenny came in with a jug of and smiled when she saw Nicky. "I didn't know you'd be here. You didn't molest poor little Ellie, did you?"

 "Hey, I would never."

 "Oh, sure. You think I've forgotten the first time we met?"

 Nicky grinned and said, "How could I forget? You leaned in and closed your eyes like a little girl waiting for her prince. I had to bite my hand to stop myself from laughing."

 "She... She did it to you as well?" Ellie blushed as she spoke up.

 Jenny smiled and said, "Sure. Now let's get this started. I've got the drinks. I see a box of chocolates over there. There must be something we can do here. Let's get on with it."

 And just like that, Ellie was swept along by the energy of these two women she'd never met before. They pulled and prodded her out of her shell with a little help of a careful amount of alcohol. By the time they got to watching a stupid chick flick, Ellie was snuggled up in the couch with the three of them and not thinking anything of it. It was the most fun she'd had in months. Probably in years as well. At home there hadn't been room for friends within her father's mind. Now she could be a girl and have simple fun with people who wanted to be her friends.





***





Tom finished the last knot on Ruth's harness and saw the flush on her cheeks and her chest. He smiled. She'd gotten used to wearing a harness. It still got her hot as all hell, but it was something she could handle now. Today would be different. "Little girl, Present. Keep your legs wide apart. I've got a little surprise for you."

 She kneeled down and Tom felt a wave of desire wash through him. There was something about her right now that made it hard for him to concentrate. Was it the ropes crisscrossing her beautiful body? Was it how she had her hands behind her head, her chest forward and legs wide with her ass up? Maybe it was how her mouth was just that little bit open. Her skin was flushed, and he could smell her arousal. She'd do anything right now, but he'd make her wait.

 "Do you know what this is?" He held up a piece of gnarly black rope, not longer than his thumb. Ruth looked at it and said, "A piece of rope, Sir."

 "Any idea what it's made of?"

 "No, Sir."

 "It's made from palm frond." He held it close to her face. "Anything strange about this rope?"

 "It looks bad, Sir."

 "That's because it is, little girl. It's not a good rope by any standard. The fibers are too short and rough. But I can't tie anything with a piece this length anyway, so tying you up with this wasn't my plan. What do you think I want to use this for?"

 Ruth's brow crinkled as she looked over the piece of rope again. "May I touch it, Sir?"

 "Sure."

 He gave her the ropes and she ran her fingertips across its surface. It was nothing like any of the rope he'd used on her before. Stringy sandpaper with not much flex. She touched her fingers to the ropes tied around her body and found a new appreciation for how soft they were. 

 Imagine what it would feel like being tied up with this stuff. It would rub against her and make her skin all red and sensitive. She wouldn't be able to move without tickling her skin all over. Over time, it would start to burn. Maybe. Probably. She didn't know if she'd like that. But it wouldn't be that different from what his creams did to her pussy. And she loved that terrible itch. It drove her wild.

 Ruth's eyes widened and her eyes shot up to Tom's. He'd been watching her thoughts flit over her face and smiled when she realized what his plans were. "You've figured it out?"

 "I think so, Sir." She swallowed, "You have more of this rope and you want to tie me up with it."

 "Right and wrong. I do have more, but I don't want to tie you up with it. If you ask me to, I will, but it seems cruel to me. Today, I'll just take this little piece and slip it under your harness. But where? That's the question, isn't it?" He ran his finger up along her thigh and saw her skin turn into goose bumps. When he got to her crotch rope, he hooked his finger under it and pulled. "Maybe I should slip it under this one." He looked up, "Would you like that?"

 Ruth had trouble keeping her breathing under control. She didn't want to show how scared and excited she was at the same time. She nodded.

 "Speak, little girl."

 "Yes, Sir." Her voice was hoarse as she answered.

 "Tell me why there."

 His finger bumped into her clit and a little shock went through her body, "Oh, Sir. Mmm." She closed her eyes to let the wave pass. The second she calmed down, he let go of her crotch rope and the sudden return of the pressure on her clit made her bend forward as a fresh hit of pressure blasted through her.

 Her eyes drifted towards Tom's crotch. Ruth bit her lip, and she found a safer point to focus on. "I want to know how it feels, Sir. If it's anything like those creams of yours, then I know what's going to happen."

 He stroked her hair and said, "I guess it won't be that different, it might be a little harsher. You tell me. Stand up."

 She obeyed and moaned again when he nestled the piece of palm rope against her crotch. It was prickly, but nothing too bad as long as she stood still. This might be alright. Tom sat back down, grinned at her and said, "Straddle me."

 Ruth straddled Tom and he pushed her hips down against his. Her eyes opened wide as the palm rope pushed into her soft pussy lips. "Sir, this is..."

 "I know, little girl. Now ride me while I explain what you're going to do."

 The look in his eyes was still amused, but she knew that not doing what she was told would only give him an excuse to make it worse for her. She rolled her hips against his crotch and had to grab hold of his shirt as the palm rope rubbed and prickled against her sensitive flesh. And it was just in! This was going to kill her.

 "Slowly, little girl. Don't make it harder on yourself." Ruth slowed down, adding more twists and turns to her movements. "You're cooking tonight. The recipe's on the kitchen table. There's also a list of ingredients. Each ingredient has a location next to it, somewhere in my apartment. There are two rules. One, finish the meal by dinnertime. Two, Ellie can't find out that something's up. Break either of these rules, and you'll remember today for a long time to come. Any questions?"

 Ruth had buried her face into his shirt by now. Her breathing was raspy and the front of his pants were wet with her juices. She had to cook like this? And walk around? And act like nothing was wrong? "I... I can't, Sir."

 Tom pushed her chin up and locked her eyes in place with his. "You will. This is what you asked for. You wanted a challenge. I'm giving it to you. I can call it off, but you'll have to think of a way to prove to me that you haven't given up despite failing me."

 His words struck her dumb. She lowered her head. He was right, she'd asked for this struggle. "Can I calm down a little before I start?"




Calm Ch. 05



"Of course, little girl. Take as much time as you need. I'm guessing it'll take you about an hour to cook the food. Keep that in mind. Stand up now. I have to change pants. You made a mess of the ones I'm wearing."

 The door of the playroom closed behind him, and Ruth leaned forward to find support on his chair. She breathed in and out slowly a few times before she made up her mind to get dressed. The first step she took caught her off guard though, and she ground to a moaning halt. She grit her teeth and tried to ignore the terrible pleasure in her pussy. This little piece of rope wouldn't get the best of her. She wouldn't let it.







Ruth jumped when Ellie popped her head over her shoulder to check on the simmering meat. "Mmm. Smells nice, Ruth,"

 "Oh, Ellie. Yeah, thanks. I think it's going to be good."

 "Tom's not cooking tonight?"

 "No, I asked him if I could pitch in for once."

 "Hmm." Ellie glanced over at the oven, in which the vegetables were roasting. "I'm looking forward to it."

 Ruth sighed when she was by herself again. She turned the meat over and closed her eyes in gratitude when the bottom wasn't burnt, just extra brown. Her body was at the verge of collapsing, and if she didn't sit down soon, she'd come all over the floor. She hadn't known that she'd have to walk such a fine tightrope.

 Every move she made stirred the fire in her pussy. She longed to slide the palm rope just a bit higher, so it touched her clit, but she'd come if she did that. Her nipples were rock hard and she'd had to stuf her bra to keep the little nubs from showing. A quick glance over her shoulder told her the coast was clear and she wiped her juices off her thighs with the tablecloth for the umpteenth time.

 Just a little longer. A few more minutes and she'd be free. Tom wouldn't know what hit him. The first chance she got, she'd tackle him and beg him to fuck her. She bit her lip as she imagined ripping off her clothes and toying with her nipples as she rode him. What she wouldn't give to feel his throbbing cock inside of her right now, right here. She didn't care. She wanted it.

 A loud sizzling distracted her from her thoughts and she yanked the pan off the stove. She groaned when she saw bits of black on the underside of the meat. It would have to do.

 She put everything out on the table and tried to call out call out that dinner was ready. At first her voice cracked. She coughed a few times and found her voice again. "Dinner's ready!"

 Ellie was the first to join her on the table. She looked Ruth over and said, "Are you okay, Ruth? Your face is all red."

 Ruth touched her cheek and the heat emanating from it surprised her. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It's the oven. I was stirring the vegetables, and I always get really warm when I stand in that heat for too long. It'll pass."

 "It looks good, Ruth."

 "So you said. I burnt the meat though."

 "Oh, that doesn't matter. I'll eat anything you cook."

 "You're such a sweet girl, Ellie."

 Ellie blushed and said, "Thanks."

 Ruth looked out into the living area. "Now where's Tom, he--"

 "I'm here. Just tied up with some work. Smells nice in here."

 Ruth had to hold back from rolling her eyes, but the smile on his face told her that he knew what she thought about his little joke. "Let's eat. And don't mind the burnt bits."

 Dinner was pleasant, with some easy conversation and well-deserved rest for Ruth. Her pussy was still soaked and on fire, but at least it had become more of a simmer in the background. She tried not to think about what would come after dinner, or she wouldn't get a bite of food down.







Tom waited for Ruth in the bedroom. She locked the door behind her and leaned back against it. Her eyes were on him as he sat in his chair, relaxed and at ease. "You did well, little girl. Dinner could've been better, but you made it in time. And Ellie didn't seem to suspect anything. Tell me, what is it you want as a reward?"

 Ruth's mind was hazy, and she didn't respond as she walked over to his chair. She stopped in front of him and ripped off her clothes. Buttons popped as she tore open her shirt, and she almost fell in her hurry to get rid of her skirt. With trembling fingers she reached for the piece of palm rope. She looked up at Tom and he nodded. Her sigh of relief turned into a moan as the coarse rope brushed her throbbing clit. She let the piece drop to the floor and pulled her crotch rope to the side. Her eyes pleaded with Tom to fuck her. "Please, Sir. I can't wait anymore. Please."

 Tom stood up and with agonizing slowness he unbuttoned his shirt. Ruth couldn't look away from his hands. She knew very well what they could do to her. She moaned when he pulled down his boxers and pants. His cock was rock hard. She reached out to grab it, but Tom stopped her. He leaned in close to her and pulled her body into his. The heat of his cock burned into her side and Ruth bit her lip to keep from moaning. "What can't you wait for, little girl?"

 "Your cock. Please, I want it in me. I want you to fuck me. Fuck my pussy, Sir. Please, fuck my pussy. I'm so close, but I need you to do it to me. Please, please..."

 Something had finally snapped inside her. Her last bit of resistance had collapsed under the pressure of her need. Her hips humped against him. She rubbed her nipples against his chest. Her eyes closed and her breathing picked up as she felt the ropes constrict and relax. They bound and caressed her.

 Tom grabbed the harness just above her crotch and gently pulled on it. Ruth gasped as her clit got squished and sparks of raw pleasure nibbled at the dam inside of her. She stared up at him with wide eyes. He didn't let up the pressure and Ruth had to stand on her tiptoes to keep the rope from digging in too much. "Grab my shoulders, little girl."

 She obeyed immediately and kept her balance only because of his support. The only thing touching the floor were her big toes now. Not enough support to stand still. She had to switch from foot to foot. Every time the ropes would slip and brush against her clit. Again and again. Her legs burned. Her pussy was on fire. An explosion brewed inside of her. "Please, please, please..." It became her mantra. She wanted to come so much. If he'd just let her, she'd topple over into a storm of pleasure.

 Suddenly her feet were on the floor again. Before she could ask what was next, Tom grabbed her ass and threw her on the bed. Ruth looked up at him and saw him loom over her. The look in his eyes spoke volumes. She didn't even have to be told. Her legs were wide open for him. "Pull the ropes to the side."

 Ruth bit her lip hard to not come as she pulled her crotch rope to the side. Her eyes locked onto his cock as he put it just at her entrance.

 "Look at me, little girl."

 She looked up and saw her own stormy desire reflected in his expression. He wanted her like this. His need to possess her exuded from him. He leaned in closer and in a hoarse whisper he said, "I'm going to fuck you now. I won't be gentle with you. You don't want me to be gentle right now anyway. Come as much as you like, little girl. You deserve it. Such a good girl."

 His last words still lingered when he drilled his cock into her pussy in one hard thrust. He claimed her mouth, and Ruth screamed in his mouth as her body shocked in orgasm. The ropes stretched and pulled against her thrashing body. It felt like her whole body was being teased, and it drove her wild.

 Tom waited for her to calm down enough to see him looking at her. "Get ready, little girl. I won't be stopping next time."

 She nodded and stretched her arms out. There were tears in her eyes. He leaned in for a kiss, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and put all of her gratitude into that one lip lock. She didn't have the words to tell him how blown away she was, but she could try to show him. They were out of breath when Tom pulled back. In a whisper Ruth said, "Please fuck me, Sir. Use me for your pleasure. Let me make you feel incredible. I want to. There's nothing I want more."

 Her tears returned to her eyes, and Tom smiled a loving smile down at her. "Grab the sheets, little girl. And get ready."

 She wasn't ready. Tom fucked the hell out of her pussy. All Ruth could do, all she had to do, was hold on for dear life and take what he gave her. And come like a truck in the process.





***





Ruth stepped out of the shower and bit her lip as she felt the soft towel brush her nipples. They'd been hard ever since Tom had told her to pay special attention washing her ass. He hadn't said it out loud, but it was clear what his plans for her were. Ever since the first time he'd tied her up, Tom hadn't played with her ass. She loved it when he did though, but was too embarrassed to ask for it if he didn't bring it up. But tonight he'd do her ass again, and she couldn't help the excitement that her body felt.

 Once she was dry and dressed in her uniform, Ruth made her way to the bedroom. Tom was waiting for her there, and she kneeled in front of his chair and lowered her eyes, "Your servant is clean, Sir."

 "You can look up, Ruth."

 She didn't look up. Seconds passed and Ruth didn't budge. Tom leaned forward and ran the tips of his fingers along her cheek and rested them under her chin. "Little girl."

 Ruth looked up at him without even the slightest nudge. Tom nodded and smiled. "I see. Ruth isn't here tonight, is she?"

 "No, Sir."

 "Come sit in my lap with your back to me."

 She stood up and settled down in his lap. His arousal was evident through his pants, but she knew him too well to expect him to do anything about that soon. He cupped one of her breasts and let his other hand slide into her boxer shorts. "I was looking for something I could do with you today. You know, a little game for me to play."

 At the word game, he gently twisted one of her nipples while he dipped two fingers in her pussy. Ruth moaned in pleasure and pressed her back against Tom.

 "And I made a wonderful discovery. Two discoveries actually." The lower hand slipped between her thighs and tickled her asshole, making her gasp in surprise. "I saw a picture, and I just knew I'd be doing that to you tonight. It was called komon sarashi shibari, which loosely translates to tie with the ass exposed."

 Tom slowly pushed the tip of his finger inside her ass and curled it towards him. "But as much as I want to see you like that, it wasn't enough, I wanted more. Have you ever heard of an anal orgasm, little girl?"

 "Mhm." It was all she could answer. 

 His second hand had traveled down to take over teasing her pussy. Tom's hands stopped moving. "Answer me."

 "It's when I come with something in my... in my ass, Sir."

 "Almost, but it's a little bit more complicated." He wiggled his finger in her ass, and she clenched her tight hole around it. "An anal orgasm is when you come just because you have something in your ass. So no playing with your clit or your pussy. You've never had one of those, have you?"

 She shook her head, "No, Sir."

 "Apparently every woman can have one. Not every time and only when done right, but still. And best of all, it's supposed to be better than coming with this little one here." 

 Ruth's hips bucked when he massaged her clit between two fingers.

 "If every woman can have one, then you can have one as well. And if it doesn't work tonight, then I'm sure you won't mind trying again," He lifted his fingers from her pussy and held them to her lips as she shook her head no. She took his fingers into her mouth and swirled her tongue around them to show him what his words did to her. 

 Tom grabbed her chin and pulled her head to the side so he could kiss her throat and run his teeth over the sensitive skin. "Stand up and undress, little girl."

 He'd told her to take off her clothes, but his hands never let go. He played her body with little tweaks, touches and brushes. One moment his fingers trailed the curve of her breast, the next he might brush aside her hair so he could nibble on her earlobe. Each time she tried to break free, he'd put his hand on her flat stomach and slowly slide down under her boxer shorts. Ruth would tense and wait for what was coming only to be lost in more of his teasing.

 From time to time he'd repeat his order, and she'd try to break free from her gentle prison, but every time she failed. She gave up on escaping and started tugging on her uniform and on his clothes. Her skin had to touch his. Every piece of clothing had to go. She wanted to turn around and do something more than be putty in his hands.

 "Stand up and undress, little girl."

 This time, Ruth grabbed her chance. She jumped up and ripped off her clothes, only barely remembering to fold and stack them at least a little. She looked down at him with a hungry look in her eyes. She wanted to sit down on his lap face to face, unbutton his shirt and feel her skin against hers. Tom saw her move back toward him and with a smile he stopped her. "Stay there and spread your legs a little, just about as wide as your shoulders."

 Tom got up and took a bundle of rope from the little table next to his seat. As he walked around her, he let the soft rope glide along her skin. He untied the bundle and let the loose rope fall over her shoulder. Inch by inch, he pulled the rope back up. It got trapped between Ruth's breasts and rubbed against them.

 Tom leaned in close to Ruth and whispered in her ear, "I think you're ready."

 The rope wrapped around her and step by step it crisscrossed her body like she'd felt before. There was just one difference. Once he'd finished her crotch rope, Tom bent Ruth forward and pulled the two loose ends through the gap between the ropes running between her ass cheeks. Ruth's eyes went wide when her cheeks spread with a gentle pull, and she swallowed when he anchored the ends with knots. He could see everything. And it would last until he untied her. A shiver of anticipation went through her body.

 "Lean over the edge of the bed. I've put a pillow where I want you."

 "Yes... yes, Sir." Her voice was hoarse and she could hardly speak.

 Once she was kneeling down and in position all of the excitement from his earlier teasing reared its head again. Her pussy was soaking the rope pushing against it, there was no denying it. Her hips drove down into the bed when he first touched her asshole. She expected him to push inside, but instead he took his time massaging and exploring every little piece of sensitive skin. Before long, Ruth was pushing back against him to try and get him inside of her.

 Tom clicked his tongue and said, "You're in too much of a hurry, little girl. I'll have to do something about that. Put your arms on your back."

 Ruth heard the smack of rope hitting the floor and then her arms were tied together with a quick series of twist and pulls. He kept teasing her, and she responded even more strongly now she was helpless. She had to bite the sheets to keep from screaming when he finally stopped his teasing massage, and he put his tongue on her ass. 

 He explored it in tiny circles with the tip of his tongue, staying clear of her tight little hole at first. A scream escaped her improvised gag when Tom circled the rim of her hole for the first time. It took him forever to make a full circle, and she felt the delicious, wet heat of his tongue bump every little ridge. Her hips pumped helplessly up and down, but she couldn't find release that way. The knot pushing down on her pussy mound was too high to do more than tantalize her clit. The ropes helped, but the pillow below her had too much give.

 She was in heaven and in hell at the same time. When Tom pulled back, she groaned in distress, but she went deadly silent when she heard the click of a plastic squeeze bottle being opened. Her body trembled by the time he slipped his finger inside. He didn't go in very far, just one knuckle. After a few minutes teasing and probing, Tom got more comfortable, and Ruth knew she was in trouble.

 Pleasure bloomed inside of her as he massaged her cheeks with free hand, while he kept brushing against her insides. It felt like the spot he was touching was a button that send stunning shocks of pleasure through her body. One after the other, the blasts battered her body. A sheen of sweat covered her body, and her moans became continuous. She couldn't stay still. Her body squirmed as much as it could, but there was no escape. She was trapped in a bubble of pleasure. "I think you're ready, little girl."

 She pushed back the moment the tip of his cock touched her tight hole. Tom chuckled and pulled back. She'd get it slow or not at all. "Will I need to tie your legs or are you going to be a good little girl and stay still?"

 "Please, Sir."

 "Will you do as I say?"

 Ruth would've said anything. "Yes, Sir. But please hurry. Please!"

 "I won't, not today." He put the tip of his cock back against her hole and pushed in until he popped past her sphincter. His hands were on her ass and he felt her cheeks quiver under his hands. She wanted to push. Tom didn't allow her to as he slowly pushed in a little further before pulling back and repeating the thrust. Ruth's moans started up again as Tom stretched her ass around his cock, sending tingly sparks of pleasure down to her pussy.

 Not one thrust was faster than the one before it, not even after he was all the way inside of her. Ruth squirmed and begged him to go faster, a teeny tiny bit faster. Just a smidge. Anything so she could let go and crash down the precipice of the waterfall she was drifting towards. Still nothing. His cock was throbbing hot in her ass. Tom spanked her, and she curled her back up as the brief spike of pleasure almost made her topple over the edge. Tom leaned forward with his cock lodged inside her and whispered into her ear, "You're close, aren't you? So very close. Beg me to make you come."

 Her voice was no more than a whisper. "Please, please, please."

 "Louder."

 "Please!"

 "Please what, little girl?"

 "Please fuck my ass, Sir."

 "You love what I'm doing to you, aren't you?"

 "Yes. I love it! Please!"

 "Please what? I want you to keep saying it. Please fuck my ass with your cock, Sir. Don't stop saying it."

 Tom straightened up and sped up his fucking as Ruth chanted her new mantra over and over. Each time she said it, her position as his servant seeped in deeper and deeper. She couldn't run from what was happening to her and now she couldn't hide from the pleasure it was giving her. The complete control he had over made the pleasure so much more intense, and she toppled over the edge of the waterfall with a scream.

 Pleasure crashed through her, and she felt like she was drowning. Her body thrashed in orgasm as Tom kept fucking her at the same pace. Ruth couldn't escape, there was only black in front of her eyes. Beneath the surface of the water a vicious current dragged her deeper into the pleasure.

 Tom couldn't keep going forever, and he sped up a little more, fucking her tight little ass harder until he shot his load down her bowels. This added bit of force killed Ruth for the night. A second orgasm exploded in her body, and she froze, strokedrified by a pleasure overload.

 Tom stood leaning over her, panting while her brain power was reduced to dealing with the sparks of pleasure and the incredible heat spreading through her body. "Well, that wasn't what I expected at all. Little girl, you're incredible." 

 He smiled when there was no response. She probably hadn't even heard him. He untied her and pulled her into his arms on the bed. Her breathing was slow and even. She deserved her sleep.





***





Tom squinted his eyes at the light coming in through the open bedroom door. He lifted his head and saw Ellie standing in front of him. In the faint glow he could see the wet streaks on her face. He got up from the bed and took her in his arms. She clamped her arms around him and squeezed herself against his body. Her shoulders shook as silent sobs got smothered in his pajamas.




Calm Ch. 05



He whispered to her. Too quiet for her to understand what he was saying, but he hoped hearing a kind voice would soothe her. His hand stroked her back in circles. The gentle touch calmed her down. "Do you want go somewhere more comfortable?"

 She nodded against his chest.

 "Don't be startled, I'm going to lift you up." In one smooth swoop he had her in his arms. "Do you want to sit on my lap somewhere or do you want me to take you back to your room?"

 Her answer was quiet and spoken with a voice that had nothing of the zest she showed during the day. "My room."

 He carried Ellie over to her room and sat down on her bed, with his back against the wall. She crawled from his grasp and twisted around so she could hold him tight and bury her face in his chest. Tom stroked his hand over her hair and said, "What's wrong? Can you tell me?"

 She shook her head and sniffled.

 "That's alright, you don't have to if you don't want to. Is there something I can do for you?"

 "I don't know."

 "Are you afraid because something bad happened?"

 Her hand clawed at him as she nodded against his chest.

 "A bad dream?"

 Another nod.

 "You want me to make it go away?"

 She didn't answer, but he got all the answer he needed from how she clung to him even tighter. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away, nothing more than a gentle pressure. She struggled against him, and he said, "Ellie, you have to let go for now. It won't be longer than a minute, I promise. I need to grab something I left behind in your room. A book. Will you let me get it?"

 Ellie looked up at him with such need that it hurt him to see her like that. He feared that even the smallest mistake right now would break her trust in him. "Hold my hand while I take it. Then I can't go away."

 Fresh tears appeared in her eyes, but she nodded despite them. He wriggled from under her and she grabbed his hand with both of hers. In moments he'd found the book and he held it out to her. "I don't think you've read this. Have you?"

 She shook her head.

 "Good. I'll sit back down now, but I want you to sit with your back to me this time. Is that alright? If you ever feel like it, you can turn around any time."

 "Okay."

 They settled in place, and Tom put the book in her lap. It was a big volume. On the cover was a drawing of a little bearded man. He was smiling and had a brown cap. Tom put his hand on the book and said, "I read this when I was a child. The first big book I read. I remember being quite smug about it, even though a lot of what I'd read passed over my head. It's difficult to say why, but this book stayed with me over the years. I saw it on sale second hand, so I bought it."

 He ran his finger under the title. "Paul the leprechaun and the Acorn men. The little guys make a lot of problems for Paul, but he does his best to stay friends with them and to fix all of their mischief."

 He opened the cover and revealed a beautiful drawing of Paul strolling through the forest with his little knapsack slung across his shoulder. "It's full of drawings like this. The forest in the spring, the summer, fall, winter. Every time it's different. And it comes alive with fantasies of little leprechauns like Paul minding their own business and complaining about annoying little vandals coming along and wrecking their work."

 He coiled his arms around Ellie and hugged her close. "I'm going to read to you. Don't read along, just listen. Look at the drawings, try to imagine what I'm telling you. Drift away to the forest. It's a peaceful place, as long as the Acorn men aren't too difficult. You'll see."

 Ellie didn't protest. She wanted him to read to her. She wanted his voice to soothe her, and his chest to vibrate against her back. And she listened. At first she was too distracted by her clinging fear, but she came to like grumpy old Paul. The book was full of short little stories, and Tom would do funny voices for the Acorn men. Ellie tried to guess what they would do next and found herself smiling.

 Smiling. Her smile grew even wider as her tears returned. Was this how Jeff had felt when she read to him? Happiness glowed inside of her at the thought she'd been able to give him something so beautiful. Her fear and pain slowly faded, and Ellie relaxed. That was the beginning of the end for her, and she slipped into a peaceful sleep.

 Tom watched her head loll to the side and he smiled. His heart went out to this girl. He carefully got out of the bed and tucked her in. He pulled up Ellie's chair and sat down with the book in his lap. She might have another nightmare. Better if he was there for her.





***





Ellie woke up and stretched out under her duvet with a satisfied groan. She hadn't slept this well in ages. All because of Tom. She smiled when she remembered the stories he'd told her and turned on her side to get comfortable again.

 Tom sat on her chair, with his head down on his chest, sleeping. The book was still in his lap. Ellie looked at him from within the warm cocoon of her duvet and wondered what this meant. He didn't have to stay with her in the room. She could find him if she needed to. He knew that. This went beyond worrying for some girl he'd saved from a bad past. 

 She climbed out of bed and took the book from his lap. Paul the leprechaun and the Acorn men. She was eighteen years old now, and he'd read her a children's story. Who'd have thought how much it would mean to her that he did? She opened the book and leafed through it. The little girl inside of her protested. She didn't want to know how all the stories went. She wanted Tom to read to her. There were so many things she wanted to do. Too many.

 But there was no sense in despairing. Her therapist had told her she needed to get in touch with her little girl, the younger version of herself that had gone along with her father. She had unmet desires. Ellie was happy to indulge little Liza, as she decided to call her, and read the book from the start, so as not to reveal anything that Liza hadn't already been told by Tom.

 "You like it?"

 Tom's voice startled her, and Ellie closed the book. She smiled. "I do. A lot actually. Can you read the whole thing to me?"

 Tom rolled his neck and rubbed his face as he leaned back in the chair. "Now?"

 "No, before bedtime."

 "Bedtime?"

 "Don't ask."

 He peeked at her through his fingers and said, "I don't mind, but it's a big book. It'll take a while to get through if I have to read all of it out loud."

 "That's okay, I want it to last."

 Tom got up and stretched his back. "I'll read to you. But unless you have another nightmare, I'm sleeping in my own bed. God, my back."

 He was almost out the door when Ellie called out, "Tom?"

 "Yes?"

 "Can we go and visit Jeff today? There's a story I want to read to him. One I'm sure he would've liked."

 Tom looked over his shoulder and smiled a soft smile at her. "Of course. I'm sure he'll be glad to hear your voice. I have time in the afternoon, we'll go then."

 "Thank you, Tom."

 "My pleasure." This time he was gone, muttering about hot water and having Ruth make her hands useful. Ellie watched him go and wondered at how different men could be from what she'd known.





***





Ellie closed the book and knelt down so she could put her hand on her little brother's grave. "Did you like that, Jeff? I laughed when Tom read it to me, so I thought you'd like it. I'll come back when he reads another good one to me."

 Her fingers tensed on the cold stone, but she relaxed when Tom put his hands on her shoulders. She let her head hang and closed her eyes. It still hurt. It always would. She got up and Tom's hands were with her. Her fingertips slid over the coarse stone as she stepped to the side, and she wiped away her tears. "Let's go home."

 Tom took her hand in his and before long Ellie was swinging their hands from front to back. He lifted his eyebrow at her, and she lifted hers right back at him. He shrugged. "Do what you want then."

 "I will."

 They walked along the edge of the graveyard. It was a well-kept place, with smashed brick covering the paths between the graves. Thick bushes and old towering weeping willows surrounded the place and gave it a serene atmosphere. Ellie had seen a rabbit shoot out from the bushes once, so when she heard a rustle, she turned around to look.

 Her father stormed from the bushes toward Tom with a knife held tight in both his hands. Fear bloomed inside of Ellie like fireworks exploding in her gut. She screamed and stretched out her hand to push Tom to the side, but she was too late. The blade slammed into Tom's back, and she heard him grunt in pain. Her father barreled into him and knocked him over onto the ground.

 Tom didn't get up, but her father did. Ellie backed away with her blood racing through her veins. She had to call an ambulance. Her phone fumbled through her fingers and fell to the ground when she got it in her hands. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. What now?

 "Elizabeth, I've missed you so much." Her father stepped closer to her. "Why did you run away? You know how much I love you. Why'd you have to be a bad girl?"

 Ellie took another step back and for the first she noticed just how bad her father looked. His clothes were rumpled, and his shaggy beard must've been weeks old. Dark bags made his bloodshot eyes even more frantic. His zipper was open and his pants were covered in crusty stains. She didn't want him anywhere near her. 

 "Stay away!" Her voice cracked in fear. She hated how much power he still held over her. Just as she was about to take another step back, Ellie caught herself. The hours spent raging and screaming with tears streaming down her face couldn't be denied. Fear had no place when it came to dealing with her father. Anger. Disgust. Hate. Her foot slammed down on the ground and she folded her arms across her chest.

 Her father was oblivious to the change in her countenance. "Yes, stay there. Let me take you home. Everything will be alright again when I take you home. I'll get my job back when I get my Elizabeth back. I won't be distracted anymore. Daddy was hurt, Elizabeth. Daddy needs you. I need you!"

 He lunged for her with his grubby hand and Ellie intercepted it, turned into his advance and swung him over her shoulder. She put all the power she had into swinging him down and smashing him into the ground. Ellie looked down at the wreck that was her father and kicked him in the side. "Roll over."

 He only groaned. She kicked him again, heel first this time. She could care less if she broke one of his ribs. "Roll over."

 Her father did as commanded. His breath came in raspy gasps. Ellie took his arm in an arm lock and looked for something she could use to tie him down. There was nothing lying around so she locked his arm in place with her knee and shirked of her shirt. She still had a top, so it wasn't a big deal to tear her shirt to shreds and tie up her father.

 Here he was. The man that had destroyed her young life. Should she ask him why? Should she even bother? She knew the answer to that question. Her father was an addict. He'd always hidden it well, but she'd found his sick collections. Her mother had known and it had destroyed her. Guilt over losing her had driven him to hate his own child, so he didn't have to hate himself. But it hadn't been enough. He needed his daughter to make him forget. His daughter who looked so much like her mother. The woman he believed he had once loved.

 Ellie understood him more than he understood himself. Her anger and her fear subsided. All that was left were pity and disgust. This man wasn't her father. He was nothing but a shell, slave to his own addiction. Losing her had finally made him fall off the tightrope he'd walked for years.

 She squatted next to her father's head and rolled him on his back again. He looked at her with a hazy look in his eyes. She wasn't sure if he could even see her. It didn't matter. This was for her, not for him. "You're not my father."

 Her inner thoughts fought each other. This man was her father! Her only father! The last part of her family! Those cries were drowned out by the chorus of voices and memories that reminded her of her time back home and the time since she'd escaped. There was bad, there was good. Yet none of the good involved her father. Not one time. "You're not my father."

 Her fists clenched.

 "You're not my father!"

 She shouted it over and over. Fat tears fell from her cheeks and still she screamed. She didn't care if he heard her. He wasn't her father after all. When her throat got too sore to scream even one more time, she fell on her ass and saw Tom still lying on the ground.

 "Oh God! Phone! Where's my phone?" She crawled to her phone and dialed 911. The operator had trouble understanding her cracked voice, but Ellie still arrange an ambulance. The phone dropped from her hands and she burst into tears. She'd just lost her father. She couldn't lose her new protector as well.





***





Ruth stormed into the waiting area, her face deformed with terror. She saw Ellie get up from her seat and rushed towards her to meet halfway. "How is he, Ellie? Please tell me he's not going to die!"

 Ellie shook her head and said, "He's not going to die, Ruth. The doctor said he was lucky."

 "Lucky? He was stabbed!"

 "Ruth."

 "Stabbed, Ellie!"

 "Ruth!" She grabbed Ruth by the shoulders and shook her. "Calm down!"

 Ruth stared at Ellie for a moment, unseeing. Then she collapsed into Ellie's embrace. "He can't die, Ellie. I don't know what I'd do. Please tell me he'll be okay."

 "He'll be okay. The doctor said so."

 "Really?"

 "Yes, he said Tom was lucky."

 "He was?"

 Ellie stroked Ruth's hair and rested her cheek against Ruth's. "My father stabbed him in his liver, and the doctor said it's not a spot that bleeds a lot. They're patching him up. He only has to stay in the hospital for three days. With a lot of rest when he gets home. It should heal up completely in a few weeks."

 "Really?"

 "Yes. It would've been dangerous if he was hurt somewhere else. But he'll have a scar and that's it."

 "Thank God. I was so worried."

 "I know."

 The two of them embraced as the life of the hospital flowed around them. Ruth calmed down and looked up to see where they were standing. "Maybe we should go sit somewhere."

 "Yeah."





It was a tense half an hour wait before the doctor came out to tell them that the operation had been a success and Tom was no longer in danger. Ruth had sat down for maybe two minutes before she got restless again, and she'd rushed up to the doctor when he stepped out. "Can we see him?"

 "He's still sedated, Miss. But you can go with the nurses to his room. He'll have to stay here for a few days. Three at most if he recovers well. He's a healthy young man, so that shouldn't be a problem. Really, he got lucky."

 "Thank you so much, doctor."

 "I'm just doing my job. I'm glad to be of help."

 Ruth thanked him again as he walked away. She turned to Ellie with a watery smile on her face. "He's going to be fine."

 "I told you, didn't I?"

 "I know, I know. It's just..."

 "You wanted to be sure."

 Ruth nodded and took Ellie in her arms. Now that she knew that Tom would make it, a weight was lifted from her, and she could think of Ellie. "What happened with your father, Ellie?"

 "He's not my father. Not anymore. He's here in the hospital with a police officer guarding his door."

 "They're taking him to jail?"

 "He attacked someone with a knife. Hid in a bush and jumped at us. They found his car near the graveyard. He'd been there for days, waiting for me to show up. He lost his job, and he's wanted for a whole string of sexual offenses. The cops are glad they caught him. At least that's what the officer told me. He said I did a good job."

 Ruth grabbed Ellie a little tighter and said, "You weren't afraid?"

 "I was at first. But I'm not afraid anymore. He can't touch me. He's dead to me now."

 "Oh, Ellie. I'm so sorry all of this happened to you."

 Ellie shook her head and said, "We can't turn back time. I should've known he wouldn't stay away. It doesn't matter. It's over now, for good."

 Ruth looked up with a concerned look in her eyes and said, "You're okay now?"

 Tears sprang to Ellie's eyes and she shook her head. "Of course not. I'm never going to be okay. He's still in my head. I can't get him out of my memories. It'll never get better, but at least now I know it won't get worse."

 Their roles reversed as Ruth now shushed Ellie. The nurses rolled Tom out of the operating room, but they didn't disturb the two young women crying in each other's arms. 





***





Tom woke up and shielded his eyes from the light streaming in through the high windows. Everything was white. He was in the hospital. He looked down the length of the bed and saw Ruth with her head down on the sheets and his hand clutched in hers. He put his free hand on her hair and stroked her with a smile on his face. He hoped she hadn't been too afraid.

 Ruth's head shot up when she felt Tom's touch. "Tom! You're up."

 The smile on her face told him everything he needed to know about how she felt. He put his hand on her cheek and said, "I hope I didn't worry you too much."

 She rubbed her cheek on the palm of his hand and her expression softened into one of bliss. "I was worried, you wouldn't believe how much. It's a miracle I didn't crash my car into something."

 Tom turned her face so she had to meet his eyes. "Next time please take a cab, I don't want you hurting yourself just to get here."

 Her broad smile returned and she nodded. "I will, Sir. I'm so happy you're okay. I don't know what I'd do without you."

 "No need to think about that now." He looked around the room. "Where's Ellie? She okay?"

 "Mhm. She threw her dad on the floor, put him in a lock and then tied him up."

 "That's my girl."

 Ruth stood up and then joined Tom on the bed. "He's here in the hospital now. When his wounds heal, they'll put in jail."

 "Wounds?"

 "Fractured ribs and a concussion. Ellie wasn't gentle."

 "Apparently. I didn't want them to meet again."

 Ruth snuggled up close to Tom. "I know."

 Ruth's hair tickled Tom's nose and he looked down at his little girl wrapped around him with an amused look on his face. "Ahem, Ruth?"

 "What?"

 "This is a hospital and... never mind, you do what you want. Just don't move around too much."

 "Mmm."

 When Ellie returned to the sickroom, she found both of them asleep. The sight warmed her heart. She took out Paul the Leprechaun and the Acorn Men and sat down on the bedside chair. This was a hospital. Sterile and white, noisy as well. Yet still she could sit down and forget all about the world around her. One look at those two was enough to put her at ease.





***





The next morning, Tom woke up to a throbbing pain in his back and he groaned in displeasure. He hadn't opened his eyes yet when someone wiped a cool, wet towel over his forehead. The pleasant chill distracted him, and he opened his eyes to look at his kind nurse. "Morning, Ellie."

 "Morning, Tom. How's your back?"

 "Hurts."

 She grabbed a small cup and a glass of water and held them out to him. "Your pain meds."

 He swallowed his pills and laid back down. It hurt to bend his back. He took a look around the room as best he could and saw that Ellie had walked away and was now curled up into a ball in her chair all the way in the corner. "Did you stay here all night?"

 "No, they told us to leave. Ruth dropped me off here on her way to work. You were asleep and she didn't want to wake you. I had to make her leave."

 Tom laughed and grimaced at the sudden shudder in his chest. "I wish I'd seen that."




Calm Ch. 05



The conversation stuttered and hobbled on until Tom's meds kicked in. He lost focus and fell asleep. When he hadn't spoken in a while, Ellie dared to stand up and get close to him again. His face looked peaceful. She wished she could see it as the same sleeping face that greeted her when she fled from her nightmares to the master bedroom. But it wasn't. This place wasn't home. Everything was white. There were machines, ugly tiles and an uncomfortably high bed. Each piece of furniture was ugly grey white.

 She loved the master bedroom back home. It made her at peace for reasons she didn't fully understand yet. Maybe because it was beautiful. Maybe because it was safe. Maybe because it was Tom and Ruth's. They'd taken her in and had nursed her back to health. Going back outside had terrified her. The hospital had terrified her. He'd find her there.

 Now she was here in the hospital. Her father was here as well. Before long he'd be locked up, never to threaten her again. And who had paid the price for freeing her? Tom. It'd be weeks before he fully recovered. He'd hurt. All because of her. She couldn't bear for him to see her. She wanted to be close to him, but she couldn't bring herself to get close enough to see the kindness in his eyes. 





A little plastic cup landed on Ellie's head and startled her. She looked up to see Tom sitting up with his pillow propped behind his back. How? She hadn't heard him move in the bed. How long had she been out of it, thinking? She met his eyes and knew he could read her like a book. The tears she'd been holding back flooded down her cheeks, and she blurted out, "I'm so sorry."

 She didn't get further than that before the dam burst and the guilt she carried inside finally wore away the last of her strong front. Tom said nothing. He waited. Minutes passed and Ellie's sobs grew quiet. "Ellie, come here."

 She shook her head.

 "Come here."

 Another hard shake of her head.

 "Ellie, come here. If you don't, I'll come to you."

 Her head snapped up when she heard the sheets rustle. Panicked, she jumped up and hurried so she was by his bedside. "Don't!"

 Tom smiled, took her shoulders and pulled her up against his chest. He ignored the pull on his stitches when she put up a token resistance and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "Let me tell you what's going to happen now, Ellie. For now, you'll stay here close to me. You'll get uncomfortable, and I'll hurt, but I won't let you go. You'll think all kinds of stuff that makes you think you can't be with me, and I'll just keep holding you. I know you think it's your fault. Fuck that, Ellie. You did an amazing job. Who knows what would've happened if you didn't step in like you did. I might've died." He squeezed her against him and grit his teeth. "I'm proud of you. And I want to thank you for saving me."

 Her sobs ramped up again, and she grabbed handfuls of his flimsy robe, almost tearing it in her need to make something suffer the hurt she felt inside.

 "Shush, Ellie. You're okay. We're okay. Nobody blames you for your father's actions. I never have and neither has Ruth. We love you, Ellie, and something minor like this won't change that. Don't insult us by thinking differently. Don't insult yourself by thinking you're not worth that much to us. I know we haven't been together that long, but I want you to know that you're something special to Ruth and me. Everything you got from us, we were happy to give. It made us proud to see you take every little step you've taken so far."

 He stopped for a while to catch his breath and stroke Ellie's hair. "You're not alone anymore, Ellie. Or are you?"

 Ellie shook her head against his chest and buried her face even deeper in his shoulder.

 "Good. I still have more to tell you. Look up at me, Ellie."

 She looked up at him with watery eyes, and he put the tip of his index finger in the middle of her forehead. "Every time I'm even a little suspicious that you're feeling guilty, every time you look at me in just that way that I don't want to see ever again, every time... you get the picture. I'll throw something at you, Ellie. I mean it."

 Ellie stayed close to him until she felt like her back would never straighten again. Tom was in just as much displeasure, but neither of them mentioned it to the other. They talked little and eventually Tom released her and went back to sleep. Ellie pushed her chair against the edge of the bed and took his hand so she could rest her cheek against it as she kept her vigil.

 Yes, this was a hospital. Yes, it was unpleasant to be here and even more so with her father so close by, but Tom was here and soon Ruth would be too. And they knew her now. They understood some of her and dealt with what they could handle. 

 Gratitude stomped out the guilt she'd felt. It was okay for her to mess up their lives a little because they loved her. She understood what she'd felt for Jeff, and she'd known he felt something back. But he'd been too young to give her what she needed, and he didn't even know what his Sis needed. Now she could hope for happiness.



Calm Ch. 06



Author's note: Thank you for sticking with Ellie's story all the way to here. Ruth and Tom are vital in the story too, and I love who they are as characters, but Ellie's the core of this story for me.

 You reading this hopefully means you care about what happens to her, and if you do, then that means I'm doing something right :)

 So please, comment on this story after you finish reading this part. Let me know what you think, where you think tweaks might be needed. It's vital for a writer to get feedback so he can crawl out of the void he's been writing in.

 Enjoy this part, there's one more after this one.

 _________________________________________________

Chapter 6

_________________________________________________



Tom sighed and added another stripe to his tally when Ruth's head popped into the bedroom. He had a smile on his face when he saw the tally had already added up to twenty three impromptu visits to ask him if he needed something. God forbid if he wasn't comfortable. And it was still early afternoon. He had to do something about this.

 Ruth opened her mouth to ask him the set of questions he'd quickly gotten familiar with, but he forestalled her by raising his hand. "Ruth, come sit with me for a bit."

 Worry came to her eyes. "Are you sure? I don't want to bump you and hurt you. I know I slept with you in the hospital, but that was different. It just felt so good to see you up."

 "Ruth, come over here."

 She sat down as much on the edge of the bed as possible. Tom shook his head and said, "Closer."

 She scooted up a bit.

 "Ruth, enough of this. Come here, I won't break."

 For a long moment she resisted his command, but the look he gave her left no room for disobedience. She laid down next to him and settled her head down in his lap, so she wouldn't bump into his body. Tom stroked her hair and said, "Good girl."

 They remained quiet for a while and enjoyed the closeness. Tom relished the feel of her soft locks and skin under his fingertips. "Ruth."

 "Yes, Sir?"

 "In a few days I'll be allowed to walk. You understand that means I'm already that far along in my recovery?"

 "I do, Sir."

 "You've taken wonderful care of me."

 She looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you, Sir."

 His hand cupped her face, and her eyes were pulled to his. Her smile melted away as Tom brushed his fingertips along the sensitive skin of her lips. The gentle touch set fire to her pussy, and she squirmed as the flames spread. A smile came to Tom's face when he saw the blush on Ruth's face. "Stand up and undress, little girl."

 She gasped at hearing her stroked name. He hadn't called her that since before the assault. In a blink of an eye she was up and undressing. Her fingers trembled with excitement. Had it really been that long? In her hurry she made a mess of undressing. All of her clothes landed in a big pile. After some scrambling, Ruth kneeled down next to the bed and cast her eyes down.

 Tom had watched the whole whirlwind of activity with quiet attention. He wasn't happy. "Little girl. What's this all about?"

 Ruth looked up to answer him and said, "What do you mean, Sir?"

 "Bring me your clothes."

 "Sir..."

 "Now, little girl."

 Ruth cringed when she picked up her messy clothes and put them next to him on the bed. She kneeled down again and kept quiet while he folded her clothes like they should've been folded. A bolt of lightning shot through her when the rustle of a candy wrapper sounded in the quiet room. She felt his eyes on the back of her head and didn't dare look up. Seconds went by as she waited for his next word, but he didn't speak. Instead he played with the piece of plastic. "Look what I found."

 Ruth looked up and saw the look on Tom's face. He hadn't been all too happy before, but now he was definitely unhappy. "I'm sorry, Sir. I should've asked."

 "Little girl, do you think that is the correct way to speak in this situation?"

 Ruth lowered her head and said, "Your servant apologizes, Sir."

 "Is it because I've been stuck in my room that you've decided to just do whatever you wanted? Are my rules that easy to throw aside?"

 She shook her head hard and said, "No, Sir."

 "This makes me wonder what else you've done. Tell me, little girl, are there other things I need to know about?"

 "I... Maybe, Sir."

 "Maybe?"

 "Your servant apologizes, Sir. She meant to say yes."

 "Ah. Anything besides snacking without permission?"

 The disappointment she felt from him weighed so much heavier than the secret pleasure she'd gotten from sneaking in some candy. "No, Sir. There was nothing else."

 "How many of these did you eat?"

 "It's the last one, Sir. There were four in the package."

 "Come sit on the bed, little girl."

 His voice was softer now, and Ruth's fear he'd be angry with her faded at his gentle tone. She kneeled down next to him and leaned in when he put his hand on her head. "You've been scared haven't you?"

 She nodded, and he said, "Look at me, little girl." His other hand cupped her cheek when she looked up and his eyes were kind. "I'm okay now. A little hurt, but I'll be fine. You can calm down now. I'll be here until you get sick of me."

 "Oh, Sir. Your servant won't get sick of you, ever."

 "Just a little joke, little girl. No need to take it seriously. Come a little closer. Straddle me." He pushed her chin up when she hesitated. "Do as I tell you, little girl."

 Ruth carefully swung her leg over his lap and when his hands found her breasts, the forgotten fire in her pussy flared up again. She moaned and put her arms around Tom's neck when he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was slow and full of promise.

 Tom broke the kiss and said, "I wanted to reward you, but with what I've seen today I think something else would be better for you. Little girl, you're going to go get my crop, and I'll use it to remind you how clothes are folded in this house. I'll also tell you what your discipline for snacking without permission will be." He smacked her ass, and she jerked up. "Go."

 It didn't take long for Ruth to return. Her hand trembled when she handed him the crop. Feeling his power over her again was intoxicating. Tom took the crop from her and carefully got up from the bed. "Lean forward and grab your ankles. I want your shoulders touching your legs. Don't make me wait."

 Ruth was ready in a flash. Her pussy glistened and Tom smiled when he saw. His back hurt, but he'd still take his time. He ran the leather end of the crop up along her inner thigh until he reached Ruth's pussy. Just as he reached her lips he jerked the crop back down and hovered over her wet slit for a few long moments before he started softly tapping her clit in a steady rhythm.

 Ruth moaned at the little shocks of pleasure that rippled through her body after each tap. Tom sped up his tease and pushed Ruth into a deep state of sensual arousal. Her knees were about to buckle when he pulled the crop back and swiped it across her ass in one smooth move. Ruth moaned out loud and pushed her ass into Tom's hand when he stroked it over her cheeks to soothe her flesh. "One, thank you, Sir."

 "I'm giving you three strikes for your clothes and two for addressing yourself with I instead of servant when it was clear high protocol was in order. You need to know that no matter what happens to me, you still obey, little girl."

 The second hit snapped against her ass and left another stripe of hot fire on her cheeks. This time, Tom left her cheeks for what they were and slipped two fingers inside her quivering pussy instead. It got harder for her to speak. "Two, thank you, Sir." 

 He curled his fingers and poised them against the sensitive walls of her hole. "Fold your knees and I double what you owe me, little girl. Come without permission and it triples. Understand?" Just as she was supposed to answer, Tom rubbed her g-spot and drew out a delicious moan. "Did you understand me, little girl?"

 Panting and with blood running to her head, Ruth fought her way through the pleasure she was feeling and said, "Your servant understands, Sir."

 "Good."

 The third strike hit and with not even a second of pause, Tom crossed the fourth over the spots where the first three hit. Ruth let out a soft shriek and her knees very nearly folded. "Three and four, thank you, Sir."

 Tom stroked his hand over her cheeks and kneaded the glowing flesh. "That was very close, little girl. So close. Where should I land the last one?"

 He put the crop at her tailbone and slowly dragged the cool shaft across her cheeks. He stopped in the middle of her ass and pressed it into her firm flesh. "Here?" Ruth pushed back into his touch and he shook his head. "No, not here." 

 He went further and stopped at the fold between her legs and ass. "How about there?" This time Ruth kept very quiet. That spot hurt like a bitch. 

 "Oh, I think my little girl knows what this spot does." He didn't go away, instead he wiggled the crop against her skin and gave her a tap or two, just hard enough to wake up her senses. "Ok, here we go."

 The crop pushed against the fold just before he pulled back. Ruth closed her eyes and moaned when the crop hit the spot on the middle of her ass that he'd touched first. Her pussy devoured the pain and turned it into wicked pleasure much faster than normal.

 Tom walked to his seat and gingerly sunk down into his armchair. He really shouldn't be up so soon. "Little girl, Display."

 Ruth sunk down on her knees, turned and crawled toward the spot in front of Tom's feet. Her eyes burned holes in his as she kneeled with her legs spread wide open and her chest thrust forward as much as she could. There wasn't a trace of embarrassment in her this time. She wanted him to see her. Her pleasure was his. He had every right to see it.

 "Little girl, you will touch yourself for me. You will use your best tricks. Since you disobeyed me four times, you will beg me to come four times before I allow you to come. I will only listen to your begging when I think enough time has passed since the last time you asked. Do you understand?"

 Ruth's nails were digging into her knees when she processed his orders. Four times... She was already at the point where one touch would make her explode into tiny bits of pleasure. The fire in her eyes morphed into a pleading look. "Please, Sir. Your servant doesn't think she can do what you ask."

 He leaned forward, and the corner of his mouth pulled at the stab of pain it caused him. "Little girl, this is not a negotiation. I'll forgive you your mistakes if you follow through with this, but steal an orgasm from me and you'll find out I don't need to touch you myself to make you beg. Do you really want to see just how much you're mine?"

 Ruth shook her head. She couldn't answer the power radiating from him. His words had taken control of her thinking and she was trapped inside the fantasy. She felt tiny under his gaze, like there was nowhere for her to go if he didn't want her to leave.

 "Start, little girl."

 She lowered her eyes and said, "Yes, Sir."

 Her pussy throbbed with excitement as she neared it with her hand. Oh God. What was she supposed to do? One finger slipped inside and she froze. Even that much pushed her to the edge. She groaned when she heard his next words. "Little girl, you said to me that you understood you were supposed to use your best tricks. Is freezing up after one second your best trick? I don't think so. Obey or fail me."

 Ruth took a deep breath and put two fingers either side of her clit. Now. She rubbed the area around her clit up and down in the rhythm she knew would get her off. Her body shook, and she jerked her hand away like she'd burned it. Desperate, she looked up and said, "Sir, please may your servant come?"

 Tom looked down at her. His expression didn't change one bit as he shook his head. "Go on."

 The next twenty minutes were a blur for Ruth. No matter how careful she was, no matter how quickly she pulled away, each touch threatened to topple her over the edge. She wanted it so bed she had to hold back screams. Bliss was so close. The only thing holding it back was the flimsiest of barriers. Her control. The control that was fading fast. She asked and begged, but through to his word Tom ignored her when he felt she was too quick.

 Ruth didn't even know how many times she asked permission to come, but when it finally came, she just stared up at Tom in astonishment. He smiled down at her and said, "You heard me, little girl. Come for me now. And always remember that I own your pleasure."

 Ruth assaulted her pussy with both hands and in the blink of an eye, the pleasure she'd been holding back exploded inside of her. She fell down on her side and screamed as her body shocked and flailed on the floor. She had no idea what her hands were doing. All that mattered was that they didn't stop.

 When the torrent died down, Ruth's body felt leaden and squeezed dry. Tom had to call out to her more than once to get her attention. She opened her eyes and made a weak attempt to get up, but he gestured for her to stay down. "I hope you'll remember today. Thank you for taking care of me. I love you, little girl. You're the most wonderful servant anyone could wish for."

 Tears streamed down Ruth's eyes from nowhere. Why was she crying? She didn't know. Her entire body was a mess. Tom got out of his armchair and kneeled down beside her. He took her limp body in his arms and with a groan of pain he lifted her off the floor and put her in the bed. He joined her and soon they were asleep.





***





Tom rolled his neck and sighed. He'd been reading too much. Not that there was much else he could do. There was just no focusing on his work with the pills they had him on. Playing with Ruth wasn't something he could pull off every day yet either. He sighed and looked down to see Ellie leaning against the couch with a book of her own. Again. Ever since the hospital she'd glued herself to him as much as he allowed her to. She must've snuck in while he was reading. He plopped his hand down on her head. "Hi, Ellie."

 She smiled up at him. "Hi, Tom."

 "It seems you're wherever I am."

 She shrugged and said, "So?"

 He sighed again. "You need to go and meet some people. Hang out with Ruth and the girls. You know, normal stuff."

 "I'm fine, Tom."

 Tom grunted. "We're not alive to be fine, Ellie."

 "I'll take fine any day."

 Tom threw his book to the other side of the couch. He tapped Ellie on her head and pointed at the couch. "Have a seat, Ellie."

 "I'm sitting."

 "Have a seat."

 Ellie did as she was told with a mixture of annoyance and concern on her face. The latter grew when she saw the serious expression on Tom's face. "Is something wrong?"

 "No." He made a throwaway gesture and said, "I don't know... maybe. You're smiling, you're eating, you're doing fine. I'll agree to that much. But you never tell us about any friends you want to visit, any family. If there's nobody there, then there's nothing to be done about that, but you can't tell me you didn't have fun with Nicky and Jenny. They're people just like Ruth and me. We're not the only two people you can be comfortable with."

 He pushed himself up out of the couch and said, "That's it. I'm calling some friends of mine, and I'm sending you out to help them with some chores. Getting rid of wallpaper, painting, some odd jobs outside... they've had it planned for months, and Ruth and me were supposed to lend a hand. It'll take them a couple days to finish with enough help. I begged off earlier, but now I want you to take my place."

 Ellie didn't know what to say. She didn't want to go to some stranger's house. It would mean going away from here. She'd burrowed in nice and tight. No way would she leave. "No, Tom. I don't want to go."

 Tom walked over to her and put his hand on her head. His voice was soft when he spoke, "I won't force you to go, but I do want you to. Think about it. You'd be helping these people and they'd be thankful. They'd be happy to have you there. You can do something for them. Imagine how that will make you feel. Imagine how Ruth and me feel when we see you now as opposed to a few months back. It's the same thing.

 "The work will be a little annoying and tedious, but you're not going to just work. Interact with them. Try to open up. And at the end, you'll look at the work you've done and you'll think to yourself 'Did I do that?' You'll be happy because of something you did with your own strength. And besides, Cris and Philip are like my second mother and father. They're great people."

 Ellie looked down at her lap and let Tom's words sink in. She could help someone. She would have to go away from here. She'd make someone happy again. She didn't know those people. Tom said they were good people. She'd have to go away. Ellie looked up at Tom, and he saw the confusion swirl in her eyes. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You have my number, and I promise you you can come back here when you finish the job. We'll even go do something nice. You and Ruth will have earned it." He pulled back and looked into Ellie's wet eyes. "You think you can do it?"

 She nodded. A little shock went through her as she did so. She immediately wanted to take the gesture back, but Tom's reassuring smile stopped her. He kissed her on the forehead again and patted her on the head. "Just do your best and things'll work out."





***





Ruth sat reading in the couch when she noticed Tom looking at her. The look in his eyes made her put down the book and wait for him to speak. But he said nothing, all he did was stand up and leave the room. His unspoken command pulled on her and she followed him to his study.

 She stepped inside and found Tom sitting in his armchair, with a bundle of rope on the little table next to his seat. He pointed at the cushion in front of him and Ruth nodded. This time she undressed in the way he'd taught her. Slow and seductive, hesitant to pop another button of her shirt, teasing him with just one more inch of her beautiful ass as she lowered her skirt. When she was naked, she lowered herself to her knees and looked down. A smile graced her lips.

 "You're going away for a few days soon, and I wanted to do something fun with you. I'm sure you've noticed the ropes I have here. Guess what they're for."

 She looked up and said, "For binding me, Sir."

 "You're right of course. Let's do another round, a little more difficult this time. Where will you be tied with these ropes?"

 Ruth tilted her head to the side and said, "In the play room?"

 "No, try again."

 "Here at home?"

 "No."

 This time her simmering pussy clenched. She wished she could sit with her legs closed, so she could at least rub her pussy a little. She swallowed and said, "Outside?"

 Tom leaned forward and strokedted her hair. "Where outside?"

 "Where? I don't understand, Sir. Where you take me."

 His hand slid along her jaw and he pushed her chin up with two fingers. His lips were inches from hers now. "I won't be taking you, not as I am now. I'll be sending you. Just imagine. Naked except for a skirt and a sweater. That alone would be enough for my little girl, wouldn't it? I could send you in a shop like that and if I wanted some fun, all I'd have to do is wait in the car. I know my little girl."

 Tom leaned forward and invaded Ruth's mouth. His kiss took her breath away and she moaned. She had to push her nails into her thighs to keep from grabbing his hair and demanding more. When he pulled back, the predatory look in his eyes had grown even stronger. 

 His voice dimmed to a dangerous whisper. "Imagine going out with nothing but ropes under your skirt and sweater. I'd feel bad to cover you up when you're so beautiful, but then again, I wouldn't have to wait long to see you out of your clothes again, wouldn't I?" 




Calm Ch. 06



His hand slipped down to her collar bone and he stroked it from side to side as he kept talking. "You love how it feels, how the ropes rustle along your skin. It makes you feel safe and because of that you're so much more open to me."

 He took both her nipples between his fingers and rubbed the tips of his fingers together. The light touch made Ruth want to push her breasts into his hands, but she couldn't break position. Not yet. Please, don't make it last too long. Tom leaned in even closer so he could whisper into her ear, "What happens to your nipples when I tie you up, little girl?"

 "They stand up, Sir."

 "I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear you."

 "My nipples become hard, Sir."

 "And when you don't wear a bra under your clothing, what happens then?"

 "My nipples rub against my clothes and they get tingly."

 "That makes you horny, doesn't it?"

 Her answer stuck in her throat when his hand slipped down to her stomach. He pulled back from her ear and looked her straight in the eyes when she didn't answer. "Little girl?"

 "It does, Sir."

 He smiled and continued downwards. One of his fingers dipped into her bellybutton and teased her for a split second, but he didn't stay there. His hand slipped between her legs, and he brushed the edges of her pussy. "I was going to stop at taking away your underwear and having you wear a crotch harness instad, but then I thought about it again and I asked myself: where's the challenge? And then it came to me. The key's here."

 The tip of his finger rested on her clit and he gave it a slight nudge before he relaxed the pressure and then did it again. He didn't stop. Ruth had trouble concentrating on his words. He was so close to her. She still couldn't move, bound by the position he'd taught her. She panted and moaned as her hips grinded in vain. She opened her legs wider as well. Anything to make herself more accessible to Tom. "To make it challenging for you, I'll make it a full body harness with cute little knots to nestle in the spots you want touched so much. How does that sound, little girl?"

 At those words he moved back and sat down in his chair. Ruth was startled by the sudden break and looked up in confusion.

 "Answer my question."

 Ruth lowered her head and said, "Your servant apologizes, she didn't hear your question."

 "And why was that?"

 "She was aroused, Sir."

 "Would you like to have a rope rubbing your pussy while you go out on errands?"

 Ruth's head shot up and she said, "Oh."

 "Yes, oh."

 This time she blushed and answered. "Your servant would like that very much."

 "It won't be a gentle tie though, not like before. Every step you take, every time you move your legs, it'll be there. Pushing and rubbing. Always, never a moment's rest. Do you think you can handle it?"

 "Yes, Sir."

 "Good, stand up."

 He stood up with her and grabbed the bundle of rope from the table. The base of the rope harness had already been prepared up front and he put it around her neck. Ruth's breath quickened and she said, "Sir? Are you going to tie me up now?"

 "Yes, we're out of milk."

 "I have to go like this?"

 "Mhm."

 "Sir, please."

 "Please what?"

 "Can you make your servant come before she leaves?"

 Tom leaned back and looked down at Ruth. "Now why would I do that? It's supposed to be a challenge. You're not allowed to come before you bring me that milk."

 He slipped two fingers inside her soaked pussy and curled them up to tease her. Ruth couldn't help but lean forward and grab on to Tom's shirt. "Sir, please!"

 "No."

 He stepped in closer and slipped a finger between her ass cheeks so he could tease her asshole as well.

 "Sir!"

 One second he was touching her, and the next his touch disappeared. Ruth was left behind, dazed and aroused as Tom laced the rope around her body. Every time he dragged the loose rope across an already tied section, the whole harness vibrated and sent the most exquisite tremors through her body straight to her pussy.

 When he tightened the line that kept a knot lodged just against her clit, Tom looked up and said, "I'm going to make it tight. It won't hurt you, but it will make your trip more interesting. Before you dress and leave, I've got a few thing to say. One, you will not come. Two, you'll wear a scarf when you leave and enter the apartment. I don't want Ellie to see rope running along your neck. Three, lose the scarf once you're out of sight. Four, there will be people who notice the rope. When they do, you'll see in their eyes that they know what you're up to. If they ask about it, you'll answer them with the truth. And lastly, you'll check out with a male clerk. If there aren't any, you'll ask a male clerk to help you find the milk. Did you get all that?"

 Ruth stood in front of him with a dreamy look in her eyes. Tom tugged on her crotch rope and got a moan from her before he stood up and said, "Did you get all that?"

 "Yes, Sir."

 "We'll see when you get back. Your clothes and scarf are on my desk, you have an hour."





***





Ruth entered the store and glanced at the cash registers. Relief flooded her. There was a guy there. She didn't think striking up a conversation would work right now. Her cheeks burned and her hands itched to put the scarf back on. But it wasn't allowed.

 Dairy wasn't too far from the entrance. As she walked towards the fridges, the ropes hugged and caressed her body. Each step's effect was subtle but undeniable. The constricting and shifting of the knots and ropes teased her and kept her on edge. On the way here, she'd been more concerned about her nipples showing through her top as they rubbed against it, but that was nothing too dangerous. She could forget about that after a while. Being tightly wrapped in a tight web wasn't something that would allow itself to be forgotten.

 It was nowhere near the torture he could put her through, but it flipped every switch she had in her head, and he knew it. She smiled at the thought of what waited for her back home. Finally he was playing for real again. The last time had been wonderful too, feeling his hold on her again after him being forced to rest for so long. 

 The smile stuck with Ruth as she floated towards the register, her mind caught up in wonderful fantasies. She got in line to pay, unaware of those around her. A cart bumping into her startled her from her daydream though and she moved up in line. Two girls cast her glances and whispered to each other. God, did they know? The wave of excitement at the thought surprised Ruth and she stumbled forward, bumping into the man in line in front of her. He turned around. "I'm sorry. I tripped."

 The guy's expression had been annoyed at first, but it softened when he took in Ruth's blushing face. "That's alright. I'm William. You shop here often?"

 "Not really, my fiance normally does the shopping."

 "Ah, well, hope to see you around."

 Ruth felt relieved she'd cut the conversation short. Her heart pounded in her throat at the thought of this random guy paying too much attention to her. The row slowed down as the swirling thoughts in Ruth's head sped up. By the time it was her turn to pay, her blush had spread to her chest and she was biting her lip. The clerk's eyes widened when he saw her and his voice broke as he said, "Hi! Just the milk?"

 His eyes widened even further when he got his chance to glance at her chest when she handed over the bottle of milk. He could see her nipples! And there was something around her neck. "What's that?"

 His question startled Ruth. "What?"

 "Around your neck."

 Ruth almost groaned when the words left the young guy's mouth. She couldn't blow him off. It wasn't allowed. The ropes burned her skin as she said, "It's a rope. My fiance tied it around me before he sent me here."

 The guy's jaw dropped and the bottle of milk in his hand was completely forgotten. "Really?"

 "Yes, now can you scan that milk? I want to get out of here."

 She didn't want to look behind her. What if others had heard? They must know something was different by the clerk's response. The clerk shook his head and quickly scanned the bottle. Ruth paid and hurried from the store. Oh God! 

 On her way back, Ruth's mind was caught in so many competing thoughts that she nearly walked past the door to the complex. The clerk's amazed response. Him knowing she was owned, maybe even that she was naked under her clothes. The way the ropes teased her body at her fast pace. She rushed up the stairs and rang the doorbell. Tom opened the door and smiled when he saw the state she was in. "Give me the milk."

 She gave him the milk and wanted to go inside, but he blocked her path. Ruth looked up at Tom with hunger in her eyes. And impatience. Tom's smile grew and he leaned against the door frame. "Undress."

 Ruth was beyond checking if there was anyone in the hallway. She put her hands at the bottom of her top and yanked it over her head. Her skirt's zipper jammed and she growled in frustration. Stupid thing! She was still struggling with her skirt when Tom pinched her nipples and rolled them between his fingers. She moaned and closed her eyes at the sensation flooding through her. They were so sensitive! She yelped when he gave them a sharper pinch with his fingernails. "Why did you stop undressing, little girl?"

 Her tugging on her zipper grew more insistent, still nothing. Tom chuckled and slipped one hand under her skirt. He wiggled the rope running through her crotch. Ruth moaned again and her knees buckled when he gave her clit a series of quick taps. Tom folded his arms and looked down at Ruth. "Having troubles?"

 Ruth glared up at him and finally, the zipper gave way. She stood up and left her skirt on the floor. Tom took a step back and led her inside with a swipe of his hand. "After you."

 Ruth strode inside with all the dignity she could muster and moaned when he hooked his finger on her harness and yanked her back. Her knees wobbled again and she cast a pleading look over her shoulder. "Please, Sir. Don't tease your servant any more."

 "Are you sure? I'm not in a gentle mood right now."

 Ruth froze in place as Tom slid his hand in her hair. He took his time gathering her hair in his fist and forced her to bend backwards until he could pounce and claim her mouth. She grabbed hold of his shirt. She didn't want to fall. This was too good. The ropes... His free hand twisted her nipple. Fuck, she was ready. Her hands locked in his hair and now he couldn't escape either. He growled as much in pain as out of lust as she dangled her body on his neck, and he tore himself loose. Ruth didn't have a chance to fall though. As he got free from her grasp, Tom stepped forward and scooped her off her feet.

 In seconds they were in the bedroom. He kicked the door shut with his heel and lobbed Ruth on the bed. A word of command wasn't necessary as Tom undressed. Ruth took her position on the bed with her legs spread wide, ready for him.

 The moment his pants hit the floor, he was on her. He pulled the ropes covering her pussy aside and drove inside of her. Ruth growled at the longed for intrusion and wrapped her legs around his waist so she could drive her hips up against his thrusts. There was no room for gentleness. No dance of tongues, instead they waged battle with each other. Nothing held back. Her nails raked his back and he returned the favor by biting her neck and then her nipple. Her pussy squeezed his cock hard and he groaned in pleasure.

 Faster and faster the game went. Tom rolled on his back and slammed Ruth back down on his cock. A shock rippled through Ruth's body, but she didn't get to recuperate. Tom picked her up and slammed her back down as he drove his cock up inside her. His eyes challenged her to fight back, to make it more difficult for him. Ruth grabbed his neck with both her arms and took advantage of his surprise to twist her hips in tiny circles and squeeze his cock. 

 Tom groaned and retaliated by sucking a chunk of Ruth's breast into his mouth. His tongue danced across her sensitive nipple and Ruth pushed her chest closer to his face. This was perfect for Tom, as it gave him space to use his hands on her. One hand pushed her body against his body as he grinded his hips against her clit. The other teased her tight little asshole. Ruth felt herself topple over the edge. She tried to pull back, but he nipped her nipple with his teeth just before she was out of reach and the sharp sting pushed her over.

 Her body shook in orgasm and she was powerless to stop Tom as he grabbed her ass in his hands and drove his cock inside her until he blasted his overdue load inside her.

 Wiped out, Ruth just lay down on Tom's chest, glowing and panting. This felt so good. The rope hugging her skin, the warmth of Tom's body against hers, the strength of his arms around her body. The aftershocks that made her pussy clench. So many things wrapped in one. She didn't have the words to put it in, so she kept her thanks simple. "I'm so happy I'm yours, Sir."

 He didn't answer her with more than a grunt, but he did plop his hand down on her head so he could stroked her hair. She smiled against his chest. Maybe this had been a tie.





***





Ellie and Ruth walked to the front door of Cris and Philip's house, hopping from stepping stone to stepping stone. The wild, verdant garden had seduced them into acting like playful kids in the forest. Plants and colors were everywhere. No squares and circles filled with flowers to be found. Cris liked her stuff wild and vibrant, and Philip was happy to make it so for her. There was order to the chaos, but it was hidden from the eye of those who didn't garden. To the uninformed, entering the garden was stumbling into a jumbled symphony that played on their every sense. Except maybe taste, but then there were fruit trees with beautiful blossoms or blushing fruits.

 Ruth rang the doorbell and Ellie gasped when the door opened and Philip filled the door frame with his massive bulk. Ruth jumped Philip and he wrapped his arms around her. His huge hands covered half her back. "Ruth! Good to see you. It's been too long."

 Her voice came from somewhere within the folds of clothes stretched across the expanse of his chest. "Yeah. I missed you."

 "Want to go for a walk? I planted a cherry tree round back."

 "Sure."

 Ruth squealed when Philip stepped forward, threw her in the air, caught her again and then plopped her down on his shoulder. She laughed as a bright blush came to her cheeks, and she slapped her little hand against he back of his head. "Phil!"

 Philip's laugh thundered from his chest. "Enjoy the view."

 He turned his attention away from Ruth and looked down at Ellie. "Hi, I'm Philip. I don't believe I've had the pleasure to meet you before. And believe me when I say it's a pleasure. You're a very beautiful young lady." 

 He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, causing Ruth to sway, but he held her steady with one arm across her hips. Ellie didn't know what to do or say. She just stood there with her mouth open and her brain frozen. Ruth laughed and said, "Phil, go easy on her. It takes a while for her to loosen up. Come on, tell him your name."

 Ellie yanked her hand back. A flush came to her cheeks as she looked away. "Ellie."

 Philip looked up at Ruth, a question in his eyes. Ruth shook her head and mouthed the words 'wing it.' He grinned and winked at Ruth. Ellie never saw his huge hand coming before he put it on top of her head. It covered almost her entire scalp. "Nice to meet you, Ellie."

 And with those words he rustled her hair. When he finished, Ellie's hair was a cloud of platinum surrounding her head. Ruth burst out laughing and fell forward off Philip's shoulders. He caught her and swung her back over one shoulder. He joined Ruth in laughter and made his way to the back, leaving Ellie behind to figure out what was wrong with all of Tom and Ruth's friends.





***





A few hours later, after work had started full swing, Cris waved Ruth over and poured two glasses of wine. She handed Ruth one and said, "Sit."

 Ruth had to hold back her smile. She'd been expecting something like this, but she wouldn't say so. She really didn't want to poke the bear hiding inside Cris's tiny frame. After a few sips, the older woman hadn't spoken and Ruth relaxed. Mistake. Cris pounced on her and said, "Could you explain to me why I have a frightened girl in my house? She's like a little deer whenever she sees Philip."

 Ruth raised her hands and said, "Hey, he's big."

 "Don't get fresh with me, Ruth."

 "I'm not trying to. Ellie's just not very good with men. Give her some time to get used to the new people. She had a blast when Nicky and Jenny came over. I'm sure she'll loosen up soon enough."

 Cris glanced through the door opening at Ellie who was scratching at a stubborn piece of wallpaper. "She does good work at least."

 "Yeah, I think she likes to help. Didn't want to come at first."

 "Oh? So the boy sent her here?"

 Ruth nodded. "Mhm, Tom's idea. Probably not a bad one."

 "Still trying to push all his work on this old woman. He'll die lazy that one." She swiped her hand through the air and said, "Never mind my rambling. She's not your ordinary girl is she?"

 Ruth gave a soft snort. "Eighteen years old. Can you believe that when you look at her? Imagine what she'll be like in five years. Hell, two years even."

 Cris nodded and the two of them watched Ellie in silence for a while. They smiled when Ellie triumphed over the hated piece of wallpaper and slammed it down on the floor. Or at least she tried to. The little bastard stuck to her finger and she growled in anger. Ruth couldn't hold back her laughter at that and Ellie looked at her and Cris. Her frown turned into a laugh of her own and she smiled a radiant smile. Cris's eyes widened. "Well there's a smile. Tom keeping his hands off her?"

 "Of course. But it hasn't been quite that simple, Cris."

 Cris nodded. She'd suspected something along those lines. Tom would never be able to resist taking risks to help someone. She emptied her glass and stretched her back. "I swear. That boy pampers you too much. Just look at you, standing here drinking wine while an old lady has to break her back to get some work done around here. Ellie! Ellie, girl! Come here and get Ruth's lazy ass out of my kitchen. She's drinking all of my wine!"

 Ruth laughed and drained the rest of her glass as well. Shaking her head, she followed into Cris's spry wake. The rest of the day went by filled with a pleasant hustle and bustle. The whole crew groaned in unison when they discovered that one particular room had an extra layer of wallpaper that Cris had long forgotten about. She agreed wholeheartedly that it must've been put up for a stupid reason since that extra layer refused to peel off.

 Amidst the good natured curses and the occasional banter, Ellie got more comfortable around Cris and Philip. She shied away from Philip at first, but they discovered a shared love for cats when the house cat came begging for food. It was all too happy to delay its snack and play with Ellie. Philip brought over a toy and some milk and over the course of some play and a few shreds of conversation, Ellie sensed that Philip was really just a more sturdy boy.

 From that point on, she relaxed and in the evening she enjoyed a nice dinner flavored by the honest work she'd done. Her bed was comfortable, and she went to sleep fast enough. Tomorrow would be another pleasant day filled with hard work and banter.





***





The sidewalk flashed by beneath her feet as Ellie ran through the city streets. She didn't know where she was, where she was going. Away. She had to go away from the man following her. He had a knife. He wanted to take her and hurt her. If she stopped running he'd trap her forever. No. Anything but that. Run, just run.




Calm Ch. 06



She rushed through street after street and turned every corner she came at. Left, right? It didn't matter. She was lost already, what did it hurt to make it worse? Only one thing mattered. Escape. But it wasn't working. He got closer with every corner she took. Each step she took was smaller than one of his. Her legs burned and stabs and shoots of pain wracked her lungs.

 Panic surged inside her. Her legs were giving out! No, no, no. He's right there! Somewhere to hide! Anywhere. She looked up from the ground for the first time in what seemed like hours. Her vision widened from the tunnel vision her exhaustion had forced on her. She could hear better now too. His heavy stomping sounded behind her. A hiding spot, please! Anything would do. Anything small enough to squeeze in and crawl away.

 That's when she saw it. A light so familiar that relief flooded her the moment she saw it. She knew exactly what button to push to get to safety. People who cared about her would buzz her in and rush down to help her fend off the man behind her. The relief gave her legs fresh strength. She sprinted towards the light. The stomping faded and she redoubled her effort.

 Soon she made it. Her eyes searched for the button that said Tom and Ruth. It wasn't there! Oh God! What now? Press another one then. Any button would do. She pressed a random button and nothing happened. It didn't budge. Her fist slammed against it and still it didn't move. 

 The last of the relief she'd felt evaporated, and she punched the button over and over. Her knuckles split open and blood dripped from her hand. Tears ran down her cheeks. She couldn't run anymore. Her legs could barely move. Standing was all she could manage. This was as far as she'd go. If only she could get inside.

 She grabbed the door handle and pulled on it. Nothing. She leaned her entire body weight back to give her effort more power, but still nothing. Fuck! Her hand slapped against the glass, leaving bloody smears behind. "Please! Let me in! I'm being chased! Please! Open up!"

 No response came. Not a sound. That was a lie. There was a sound getting closer. Heavy footfalls drawing near. Ellie's body froze, and she balled up on the ground. The stomping slowed down from a run into a slow and steady walk. Ellie's every thought was consumed by the raging panic that paralyzed her. All she knew was that the pain would come again. He was here with her.

 A hand clawed into her shoulder. "Elizabeth."





***





A scream tore Ruth from her sleep, and she shot up in the bed she shared with Ellie. She snapped on the light and tried to wrap her arms around the trembling girl. Ellie was besides herself and pushed Ruth away. Her eyes didn't see the room around her, trapped in memories and nightmares. 

 "He's here!" Over and over she said the same words. Ruth shook her shoulder, but she didn't respond. She curled up into a tight ball under the duvet, with her face pressed against her knees. 

 "Ellie! Ellie, answer me."

 "No, no, no. Go away! I don't want to. Please, no!" Ellie bolted from the bed and pushed herself into the corner of the room. The walls against her back gave her some sense of safety as she balled up again. Ruth followed her out the bed and tried to shush her, but to no avail. All she said was 'no, no, no'.

 The door to their room opened and Cris walked inside with a worried expression on her face. "What's wrong? I heard a scream and the light was on here so..."

 Her eyes fell on Ellie sitting down with Ruth crouched in front of her. Ruth looked up at her and shook her head. Cris nodded and made her way out of the room. Before she closed the door behind her, she said "Should I bring something warm to drink?"

 Ruth gave her a little smile. "Thanks, but no. She won't relax for a long time yet. We thought she wouldn't have these anymore, but we were wrong. Can you call Tom though? He always gets her through this."

 After another worried glance, Cris nodded and shut the door. Ruth turned back to Elie and said, "Ellie, can you hear me? Tom's coming over. He'll be here soon. Ellie? Tom's coming. Tom."

 Ellie's death grip on her legs relaxed a little when she caught Tom's name, but the moment soon faded. "He's not here! And father is. He'll hurt me and kill me! No, no, no. Please! I don't want to."

 After that outburst, she sunk back into a dull drone. No was the only word past her lips. Ruth tried touching her to calm her down, but Ellie jerked away every time and after she lifted her head and stared at Ruth with unseeing, fear filled eyes, Ruth couldn't bear to try again. It hurt to see Ellie like this again, but all she could do was wait. And so she did. She gratefully accepted a mug of hot chocolate from Cris, who joined her silent watch over Ellie. "Philip's out to get Tom. Thought you might want something even if she doesn't."

 "Mhm. Thanks."

 "Shush, it's the least I could do."

 They sat in silence for a while. Ruth knew Cris would wait until either she or Ellie mentioned the problem, but she could feel the questions emanating from Cris. She sighed and put down her mug. "Ask."

 Cris glanced at Ruth and nodded her head at Ellie. "This is what you meant with things not being simple?"

 "Mhm."

 "What happened to her? I don't need any details, just give me an idea."

 "Her father's the man who attacked Tom. He wasn't a normal man. Hated his son after his wife died giving birth to her and then tried to use Ellie to replace her. Ah... I don't want to sound so cold about it, but I just don't want to think about the things that happened in that house. 

 "He abused her for years, Cris. She stayed for her little brother and when he died in an accident, there was no reason for her to stay, so she ran. She wasn't used to the city at all, let alone at night. Inevitably, she got lost. Some monster raped her, and she crawled to the nearest light, the entrance to our building. God, you should've seen her. She was bleeding and barely lucid. She begged us not to bring her to the hospital, because her dad might find her. It was terrible."

 Ruth bundled her legs together and hugged them. "I don't really know why, but she seemed to trust Tom after she woke up. He's important to her. I think I am as well, but it's different. She's been working so hard at getting stronger and more confident. She saw her father again a few weeks ago, and she had nightmares for days after. She seemed okay after him stabbing Tom, but she went everywhere Tom went, so he sent her here. And now this happens." She sighed. "It's difficult, Cris. We never know what's going to happen with her. You know Tom and me acted out my worst memory with Sebastian, right?"

 Cris nodded. "You and Tom both told me about it."

 "She found out about Tom and me when she found me crying in the couch afterwards. She was terrified Tom had done something to hurt me. I had to tell her the truth. A few days later, she asked Tom to do the same for her. Act like her father, dress like him, do to her what he did. The whole thing down to the smallest detail. Everything like it had been for years, except for the ending. And she did it, she ended it like the woman she's becoming now. That did a lot for her confidence."

 Ruth rested her chin on her knees and watched the top of Ellie's head poking above her knees. "She's been through so much. That bastard's inside her head and she can't escape him. She needs to feel safe or else things turn out this way."

 Cris put her hand on Ruth's head. "That's enough, Ruth. I understand. What about you, Ruth?"

 "What about me?"

 "Is this what you want? Do you want to help this girl? Sounds like it's not easy on you."

 Ruth snorted. "Not easy? It's terrifying, but it's also one of the best things I've done in my life. I love what Tom and I have done for her even though I wish it had been easier. She knocked out and tied up her dad after he stabbed Tom. Every time I think about it, I feel so proud of her. 

 "In her memories he's still stronger than her, but in the real world she kicked his ass. It's only a matter of time before her mind catches up to that fact. All she needs is time and people to be there for her. Good people. Like Tom. Like you and Philip and Nicky and Jenny. Can you imagine what she'll be like when she gets to where I am?"

 "Mhm. She'll be awesome."

 "We'll make sure she is."

 Cris wrapped her arm around Ruth. "Can Philip and me help?"

 "We were hoping you would."

 "We'd be happy to."

 "Thanks, Cris."

 "Shush, little girl. It'll be fine."

 Ruth smiled as she leaned into Cris's embrace. Ellie's breathing had slowed down. She was asleep again, but that wouldn't last long. Their vigil wasn't over for a long time yet.





***





The door opened and Tom stepped into the room. His eyes found Ellie huddled up in the corner, and he went straight for her. He put the book he had in his hand down on the floor and kneeled in front of Ellie. She was awake again and muttering to herself. Tom put his hand on her arm and she shied away from the touch without looking up. He pulled back his hand and sat in silence for a long moment. He turned to Ruth and Cris and said, "I've never seen her this bad. Has she been sitting here ever since you called?"

 Ruth nodded. "She doesn't respond to anything we say either. You think we should wait for her to calm down?"

 He shook his head. "She doesn't have to suffer through this if I can make it go away."

 After a deep breath he stood up. "Ruth, grab that book. And Cris, if you could lead the way to the nearest couch."

 Ruth saw him bend forward to pick Ellie up from the floor and she grabbed his arm. "Don't. You'll hurt yourself."

 Tom looked her in the eyes. There wasn't a hint of hesitation in his face. "I'll be fine. And if that was you in the corner, I'd do the same. I'll be as careful as I can be."

 "Ask Philip to carry her."

 "No, Ruth. She doesn't trust Philip yet. It has to be me."

 She sighed and let go. "Fine, but I won't be happy if your wound tears."

 "Thanks for thinking about me. Now go."

 He bent down and wormed one arm under Ellie's knees and the other behind her back. She struggled, but her every move was feeble, as if her last ounce of resistance had long since been used up. "Shhh, Ellie. I'm here now. I'll read you a story and you'll see everything's fine."

 Tom kept mumbling to Ellie while he tightened his grip on her and got into a position to lift her up. In a quick burst, he rolled her against his chest and stood back up. A groan of pain escaped him, and he stood still to let it ebb and soften to a dull throb. "Cris, the couch. And make it quick."

 When they reached the couch, Tom carefully sat down and sighed in relief. His self-concern was short-lived though. He gestured Ruth over and said, "You can put the book on the couch."

 Those were the last words he had to spare for Ruth and Cris. Ellie had his full attention now. He rocked her gently as he stroked her hair and back. She still hadn't relaxed even a tiny bit. Minutes went by as he whispered to her and tried to let her know he was there.

 Cris and Ruth watched from a distance and Philip appeared behind Cris. He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "What's happening?"

 "Nothing yet. We'll have to wait."

 They watched Tom as he slowly pulled Ellie from the nightmare she was stuck in. She suddenly unfolded and clawed for his shoulders so she could latch on to him. Tom kept doing what he'd been doing, whispering soothing words and giving her the soft touches she craved without knowing it. Her endless mumbling transformed into loud sobs as the built up tension exploded from her body. Ellie wasn't there at that moment. Only little Elisabeth, confused about why her father would hurt her. Why had he hurt the kind man who took care of her like he never had? Why did he want to put her in a cage again? She didn't want that. All she'd ever wanted was for Jeff to laugh. For the people around her to be happy.

 Every wish she'd had in those long years made itself known. I hope it doesn't hurt as much next time. I hope he forgets tomorrow. I hope he's drunk again so he can't do it and all I have to do is use my mouth. I hope Jeff smiles tomorrow when I read him his story. The list went on and on. Every new wish forced another sob from her. Was she ever going to escape her memories? What would happen when she lived by herself, with nobody to hold her? The very thought scared her to death.

 Was she alone now? Where was she even? Ellie looked up from Tom's chest and saw the dark brown eyes that had greeted her the first time she didn't know where she was or what had happened to her. Eyes of a stranger, but kind. "Tom? You're here?"

 He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'm here, Ellie. It's okay now."

 "You won't go away again?"

 "I'm staying here tonight."

 She grabbed his shirt in her small hands. "And tomorrow?"

 "That'll depend on you. I'll go home if you think you can sleep alone. I desperately need to get some work done, but if you don't think you can handle it, I'll stay. And if you think you can hold your own, but it turns out you can't, then someone will call me and I'll come over for you. It doesn't matter what you decide, it'll always be fine. How does that sound?"

 Ellie rubbed her cheek against Tom's chest. "That's okay, I guess."

 "You want to talk about your bad dream?"

 She shook her head against his chest.

 "How about I read you a story?"

 Ellie stilled against him and kept quiet for long moments. She didn't look up when she answered. For a reason she couldn't explain, she didn't want him to see how happy she was that he'd brought her story book with him. "Mhm."

 He stroked her back again. "Give me the book and lie down with your head on my lap."

 A few steps behind the couch, Ruth, Cris and Philip watched and listened in wonder as Tom read Ellie a silly story about a leprechaun and something like walking acorns. Cris frowned at Ruth and in a hushed voice, she said "It's a children's book he gave her a while ago. I don't really get it, but she loves the thing. Calms her right down. Just wait for a bit, she'll be asleep soon."

 True to Ruth's word, Ellie drifted off to sleep thinking of the forest and grumpy old Paul bitching about acorn men ruining his day. Tom closed the book when he heard her slow breathing and leaned back against the couch. His sigh had too much relief in it and Ruth rushed around the couch. "Are you alright?"

 "My wound hurts, but I don't think it tore. I'll be fine with some rest."

 "What are we going to do with her now?"

 "Nothing. She fell asleep here on my lap, and she'll wake up the same way."

 "Tom, you can't stay here all night. You have to lie down."

 He waved away her concern and said, "I'm staying here. I can rest tomorrow."

 Ruth dropped her shoulders and said, "Fine. Cris? You have some blankets we can use?"

 "I can get you some. Need anything else?"

 "No, no. We'll be fine. You can go back to bed."

 "We'll see you tomorrow then. Philip, see to the blankets. Give them the thick red ones, it's nippy."

 Ruth watched the two of them leave and wondered how they'd look at Ellie now. She arrived this morning as a shy, beautiful girl they hadn't known existed. Now she was... what exactly? Knowing them, they'd be great about it. Her heart went out to these two people who'd been there for them before. Tom saw them more as his parents than he did his real parents. She'd accepted them as such. 

 She looked at the top of Tom's head peeking out over the back of the couch. He was her life. If he hadn't found her, she wouldn't be here now. She wouldn't have done the things she did. She would've been working or wearing out her couch. Now she lived for others and for herself. She smiled to herself and nestled against Tom in the couch. "I'm yours, Sir."

 He kissed the top of her head and said, "Thanks for being mine, little girl."





***





Ruth, Tom and Ellie woke up to the sounds and smells of breakfast. Fresh coffee lured Ruth off the couch. The crispy sound of someone eating a chocolate roll seduced Ellie off the couch, and Tom succumbed when the sizzle of bacon in a frying pan reached his ears. He rolled his neck on his way to the kitchen and plopped down next to Ruth. She leaned against him and assembled a plate of breakfast for him. "Thanks, you're an angel."

 Breakfast was delicious but quiet. The pensive mood that hung thick in the air was unusual for a morning in Cris's house, but it wasn't unpleasant. After everyone had finished, Cris gestured for Philip to clear the table. Ruth made to get up and help him, but the older woman stopped her with a gesture. "Stay, Ruth. There'll be some talk and I want you here for it."

 Her eyes found Ellie's and the young girl shied away. Cris took Ellie's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Don't look away, Ellie."

 Tom gave Ellie's shoulder a quick squeeze and mouthed the words 'talk to her'. Still reluctant, Ellie turned towards Cris and the older woman nodded in approval. "Last night was unexpected to say the least. I don't know you well, not yet, but I know Tom and I know Ruth. They care about you and to me that means a lot. I could go on and on about how I get angry when I think about what must've happened to you, but what good would it do you?

 "This is my home, and I've always lived by one simple rule. Anyone's welcome to come here and even live here, but don't expect to be doing nothing here. Ask Tom, he lived here for six months. He remembers what this place is like." Cris cupped Ellie's hand in both of hers. 

 "You're welcome too, Ellie. That's how thing work here. If I like you, then you can stay as long as you want. If I don't like you, then I have Philip throw you out. Remember that when you think about slacking off. You're welcome to stay, but you're welcome to leave if you don't follow my rules too."

 Tom stood up from his chair and walked around the table. He put his hand on Cris's shoulders and looked over her head at Ellie. "Thanks, Cris. I have to go soon, but I'll try and come back tonight."

 "You know your way to the shower."

 As Tom left, Cris turned her attention to Ruth. "Ruth, tell Ellie how difficult it's been for you to take care of her."

 "Cris!"

 "Now, Ruth."

 "Cris, there's no need..."

 "What's she talking about, Ruth?"

 Ruth closed her eyes as she heard Ellie's panicked tone. She shot Cris an angry glare which bounced right off the older woman's controlled face. Ellie had torn her hand loose from Cris's and was getting up from her chair, ready to run away. Ruth stopped her and said, "Please sit down, Ellie. Cris and I talked a little last night. It's true that I told her things have been hard. It can be so difficult to understand what you're thinking and how we can get through to you. Our lives haven't gotten easier since meeting you. This is all true. But... look at me Ellie."

 Ellie shook her head and Ruth cupped her face in both her hands and leaned her forehead against Ellie's. Their noses were touching and Ruth could see the tears welling up in Ellie's eyes. "It's also been... I don't even know the right word. Seeing you open up made me think so much about how I used to be. Because of you, I've found so much courage. I can honestly say that not sending you away was one of the best things I've done in my life. And it's only going to get better. Stuff like last night, it's going to fade. I just know it. You'll get stronger and you'll smile more, and I want to be there to see all that. I want to know you're alright."

 Ellie had started tearing up before Ruth, but it was the elder of the two that had tears running down her cheeks first. The two girls hugged each other and cried together. Cris got up from her chair and gestured for Philip to leave with her. Those two would be just fine and there was still work to do.




Calm Ch. 06



***





"Heeeeey!"

 Everyone at work in the living room turned his head towards the loud scream coming through the door. Nicky bounced inside, did a twirl and then a jump before she bowed for her audience and presented them with a bag. "For you, milords and miladies."

 Cris went over to Nicky and slapped her on the ass, shaking her head. Nicky cooed until her cooing turned into a sharp cry of pain. Cris pinches a mean pinch. Nicky pouted and said, "Is that what I get for bringing you guys a present?"

 "That's what you get for being a noisy brat in my home. Now let me see." Cris peered inside the bag and frowned when she looked back up. "What's all this?"

 Nicky's radiant smile returned. "It's for making bubbles!"

 "You want us to make bubbles."

 "Not just bubbles. Big ones. Bigger than you even." She quickly jumped back when Cris put her hand back within striking distance of her ass. "Really. You'll see. All you need to do is add glycerin to the bubble juice. I got some off a friend. Come on, let's go outside!"

 And she was off, running through the empty rooms and into the garden. Those inside looked at each other and felt the sweat on their bodies. Philip shrugged and said, "Why the hell not. Come on, girls."

 He lifted Ruth in one arm and Ellie in the other. Both of them laughed, but when he neared the door and didn't stop they started struggling and screaming that he'd smack them into the wall. His laugh boomed from his chest as he lifted Ruth to his shoulder and made his way through the door without any horrible accident occurring. Cris followed them on her own, smiling and shaking her head. You could always count on Nicky for some silly fun.





***





Hours later, Nicky looked down at the paint splashed on her blouse and clicked her tongue in annoyance. She couldn't take it off either, her hands were covered as well. Ellie was painting the same wall as she was and there wasn't a spot of paint on her. "How do you keep so clean, Ellie?"

 "I don't just slap my brush into the paint and get on with it. You have to skim off some paint."

 Nicky shrugged and said, "I don't have the patience for any of that. Painting... this kind of stuff isn't for me. Give me some sun and lots of bubble juice, and I'm happy. Since you're so squeaky clean, why don't you run over to my car and get my spare clothes?"

 "Sure."

 "Thanks. My keys are in my purse. It's in the kitchen, a blue one."

 "Got it."

 Ellie found the keys, and as she grabbed Nicky's travel bag, she bumped into a large cloth bag hung up from a hook attached to the car ceiling. Curious to see if there was any kind of crazy costume inside, Ellie unzipped it. Inside was a beautifully cut white business suit. Ellie zipped the bag back up and headed back inside with a frown on her face. Why did Nicky have a suit like one of Ruth's?

 She found Nicky in the kitchen, scrubbing her hands clean. "I got your clothes."

 Nicky looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Thanks, Ellie. I'll give you a kiss later."

 "No, no. You don't need to."

 "Just teasing, Ellie."

 "I know, I know. Uhm... there was a big bag in your car?"

 "Did you look inside?"

 "Yeah."

 Nicky turned around and dried her hands. "And you were surprised to see what you found."

 "A little."

 Nicky smiled and leaned back against the counter. "What do you think I do for a living?"

 "I... I have no idea, I'm sorry."

 Nicky laughed and said, "Don't apologize, Ellie. Nobody told you, and there's really no way for you to know. Right now I'm not like I am at work. Over there, I'm the one they send to clean up their shit. High pay, high stress and high reward if you're the right kind of person. That's why I always have a suit with me. Just in case something hits the fan and they need me."

 Ellie stared at her. Nicky? Really?

 "Don't tell me what you're thinking right now. My friends never believe me when I tell them for the first time. I don't consider myself to be friends with anybody at work. They're colleagues, and I treat them right, but in the end they know I'll do whatever needs doing to get my job done. I can't be like that with my friends, or I wouldn't have any. And I can't be focused and sharp all the time, or I'd crash. 

 "You call me Nicky, but you've never met the real Nicky. You've only ever met Nick, he's kind of my alter ego. He's a clever little brat with too much mischief in him to keep it bottled up inside. I love being Nicky, but I can't keep up being her without being Nick as much as I can. The moment I lose the suit, it's like I shove aside part of my personality. I don't even carry a phone. Work knows I'll fly for them, but only when they send me messages at the times I check my phone." 

 She sprayed Ellie with droplets of water from her wet hands and said, "Enough about work. You go back to painting, and I'll go pop this in the washer. Chop chop, on you go."

 Ellie was pushed out of the kitchen and delivered in front of the wall she'd been painting. Before she knew it, she was alone again. Nicky, she was so... happy all the time. And Ruth smiled and laughed, but always like she preferred to let only a little of the light inside of her out. She couldn't hide how wonderful she was though. And both of them stepped into another life the moment they started their car and headed for work. It made her wonder if she could be that strong too.





***





That evening, Tom came back in time for dinner. A pleasant din of conversation filled the cleared out dining room. The only things left behind in the generous space were a table, chairs, plastic covering the floor and a bunch of friends having some simple fare. A cozy and fun evening. Tom smiled when he saw Ellie pitch in on occasion, but mostly she was quiet with a careful smile curling her lips.

 Seeing her like that melted away the frustrations that had built up during a day spent cleaning up his own mistakes. He couldn't wait to be fully healed and focused again. Then they could all put this episode behind them and focus on different things. On the future.

 He wouldn't push Ellie to meet more people than his friends for now, but soon she'd be going off to university. Would she be alright there? 

 Ellie felt his eyes on her and her smile widened. Tom winked at her and said, "Had fun today?"

 "Yeah."

 "Thinking about a career as a painter?"

 She shook her head and said, "No, I want to go to university."

 "What do you want to study?"

 With a confidence Tom hadn't expected, Ellie said "Computer sciences."

 His eyebrows rose. Computer sciences was the field he'd majored in. It wasn't easy. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Ellie."

 "Why not?'

 "It's hard, Ellie. I had to work my ass off to get my degree, and I was actually interested in that stuff. Why would you want to go into that field?"

 The young girl set her jaw and glared back at Tom. "I am interested, Tom. I've been reading the books in your study, and I even found your old school books. I know it's difficult, but I still want to do it."

 Tom leaned back in his chair, and took a moment to consider Ellie's words. "Say you went through with this, do you want a job like I have? Solving problems and crunching through simulations all day long?"

 "Are you saying I couldn't do what you do?"

 He shook his head. "I'm asking you if you'd enjoy it. What's the point in picking up studies that teach you to do something you don't care about? What are you trying to prove, Ellie?"

 Ellie's fists lay balled up on the table top. "That I can do it. That no matter how pretty I am, I earned what I got because of my intelligence and hard work."

 "And that's why you want to put yourself through computer sciences."

 "Yes."

 "Why not something else? Ruth and Nicky prove they're more than pretty faces every day they go to work. Nobody's going to mess with Cris, and she never went to college. It's not about your degree, Ellie. It's about what you do in life, how you handle yourself. Book smarts can't compare to what you've been forced to learn while you were growing up."

 She looked over at him, a question in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

 "You never gave up, Ellie. And I know you'll never start giving up either. You're working for both you and for Jeff, remember? Wouldn't he want you to do something that makes you happy like you promised him?"

 He put his hand over her small fist. "Look, you can choose what you want to do, and Ruth and me will support your choice, but please give your choice enough thought. It's a big commitment to make, and nobody wants to be set back a year because he made the wrong choice. It's even worse if you realize you've made a mistake when you're too far into a study to reasonably break it off. And that's all I have to say on the matter."

 Ellie relaxed her hands and slipped her fingers between Tom's. "If I choose computer sciences, you'll help me right? I think it's interesting what you do, but it's also difficult and I'm not all that smart. I've always had to work a lot to get good grades, but if you can... you know, help me from time to time, I think I'd do a lot better."

 Tom smiled and stroked Ellie on the head with his free hand. "If it comes to that, then I'll help you if I can."

 "Thanks."

 They let go of each other and rejoined the conversation still going on around the table. Ruth caught Tom's eye and gave him a questioning look. He made the okay sign and she gave him a relieved smile.

 Dinner strokedered out after dessert, and Tom and Nicky left to go back home. This time, Ellie wasn't so quick to fall asleep. She kept coming back to Tom's words. Did she want a job like the one he had? Would it be any fun? Would it feel rewarding or just plain old boring and confusing? She'd have to find out. But no matter what she decided, she'd get top grades every single time. She'd always worked for the best grades of the class, and that wouldn't change now. Fuck anybody not looking past her hair, her tits and everything else about her. Her looks would never define her, not anymore.





***





Tom looked up from his work when his phone rang. Strange, work knew he didn't take calls during this time of day. Maybe they'd hired someone new. He picked up the phone.





"Tom speaking."

 'Hi, mister Abrams. I'm calling you on behalf of the police. You are the Tom Abrams that has temporary custody over a miss Elizabeth Seghers?'

 "I am, yes. Is there a problem?"

 'Nothing at present. I'm calling to notify you that her father's case has been processed and she can go and get whatever belongings she left behind at his residence.'

 "Oh. Does she need to go there before a certain date?"

 'The procedure is still ongoing, so I couldn't tell you a time frame, but it would be better if you handle it as soon as is practical.'

 "Okay, I'll tell her. Will there be anything else, officer?"

 'No, Sir. Have a pleasant day.'

 "You too, officer."





Tom sighed and ran his hand through his hair after he put the phone down. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. How was this going to go? Not well very well probably. On the other hand, she'd be able to say goodbye to her childhood memories. He sent a mail to work telling them he'd take the afternoon off due to a personal emergency. No time like the present.





An hour later, Ellie, Ruth and Tom stood at the doorstep of the house Ellie grew up in. Wild greens had claimed the once well-kept garden and gave the place an abandoned feel. Ruth and Tom shared a glance while Ellie got the spare key from under a rock hidden between the weeds. Her hand trembled as she pushed it into the lock. She didn't turn it. Instead, she let her head rest against the door. How many times had she wished that this door would lead her to a different, wonderful place? Yet her wish for a happy fantasy was never fulfilled.

 Tom closed his hand around hers and with a flick of his wrist, the key turned in the lock and the door swung silently open with a slight push. He took a step back and let Ellie take her time to take the first step inside. She glanced across her shoulder, her eyes restless.

 "He's not here, Ellie. He's in jail."

 "I know."

 "You can do it, Ellie."

 She straightened her shoulders and stepped across the threshold. Nobody grabbed her. There was no sound of footsteps coming her way. The stench that filled the house now was nothing like the smell of home that she remembered. The first signs of littered trash were in the hallway.

 Confused, Ellie wandered further inside. The living room was much worse. Beer cans, liquor bottles, leftovers from every kind of take-out imaginable lay strewn across the floor and all over the couch. What had happened here? Her father had always been strict on cleanliness. She'd been surprised by how filthy he was at the cemetery, but to see he'd fallen so low surprised her at a visceral level. Losing her had made him snap. She felt sad at the thought. She hated him for what he did to her, but still she didn't wish this slow dilapidation on him. His front was all he'd had to hide what he really was inside. Now he had nothing.

 She shook her head and turned around to find Ruth and Tom patiently waiting for her to lead them where she wanted to go. "I don't want anything from down here. Let's go upstairs. I want to see the bedrooms."

 Ellie's bedroom was ravaged. Not a single piece of clothing was left whole. Everything she'd owned was smashed to bits. Even her bed and her desk. They lay splintered, covered in scraps of fabric and plush from stuffed animals. All her books had been mangled and soiled. With what, she didn't want to know, but the smell left little to the imagination. They didn't stay long there. Jeff's room was the only one she was really interested in anyway.

 The contrast to her own room couldn't have been bigger. Nothing had been touched. It was like Jeff could come in any moment to jump on his chair and do homework. Her stomach cramped together at the thought. Ellie walked over to the bed and sunk to her knees. There was one thing she wanted more than anything in the world. One little box. Jeff's biggest secret.

 A shock went through her body when her fingers bumped against the cool tin. She swallowed. It was still there. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep from crying as she slid the box towards her. Once she had it, she sat down on her heels and wrapped the box in her arms. "It's still here."

 Tom crouched down next to Ellie and said, "What's still here?"

 "It's the box Jeff used to hide the things I gave him. He always had to clean his own room, so father never found out about it. I'd give him candy and books and games, and he'd put it all in here."

 Ruth wrapped her arms around Ellie from behind and said, "That's so sweet. You were such a good Sister. I'm proud of you, Ellie." She couldn't hold back her tears as she thought about Ellie playing with her little brother, reading to him, watching him eat his candy with a smile on his face. 

 Ellie stiffened in Ruth's embrace. Something inside of her teetered on the edge of crashing into a raging torrent. Her entire being hung suspended in time as the crack snapped and branched out. Ruth's shaking body against hers. The warmth of that touch. Ruth's words and tears. What they meant. It all battered at the walls inside of her.

 A quiet sob escaped Ellie. A first memory slipped through the cracks. Jeff riding his bicycle for the first time. He'd been too young, but his proud face when he did his first lap around the block had made her laugh so hard that he'd made a face at her, and she'd lifted him clean off his bike so she could hug and tickle him.

 A second sob. Her whole body went rigid and her nails clawed at the box. This time Jeff sneaked into her room after father had caught him. Such a little soldier. Fighting back his tears. He'd held on until he was nestled against her under the blankets and she couldn't see him anymore. His tiny body shook against her as she whispered to him.

 Ellie's death grip hurt her fingers, but she didn't feel the pain. A fresh memory came to her. The doorbell rang. She went to open the door. An officer stood at the door, looking uncomfortable. He was about to tell her... "No!"

 The sudden hard yell crushed the silence in the room. The memory didn't stop playing though. She couldn't fight it. The officer did his job and she flashed forward to the morgue. No, she couldn't do the last bit! The cloth was lifted. An inhuman shriek tore from her mouth as the cracks exploded and everything she'd held back tumbled over the edge into a chaotic maelstrom.

 Wracking sobs burst from her body and she repeated Jeff's name over and over. She'd have done anything for him. Father could've done whatever he wanted to her until she and Jeff could run away together. Always together. She never meant to leave him behind. He should be with her now. Smiling. Bragging he could do a wheelie when he couldn't. Getting brain freeze when she slipped him ice cream. All her memories of him, all her wishes she never saw fulfilled poured out in a stream of incomprehensible shrieks. She didn't speak a word, yet her regret and pain were crystal clear.

 Ruth held on for dear life as Ellie's grief raged. Raw pain engulfed the girl as she relived losing the person she'd lived for. She blindly stuck her hand out in Tom's direction. He had to be there. Relief flooded her when he grabbed her hand as if he'd been ready for her to stick it out. She felt his arms wrap around both Ruth and her. His deep voice sounded in her ears. She couldn't understand a word he was saying, but it soothed her nonetheless. Ellie's shrieks dissolved into wet sobs and she turned around in Ruth's embrace so she could grab both her and Tom.

 Tom's calm engulfed her and the slow rhythm of his and Ruth's breathing took hold of Ellie and lulled the tension in her bodies into fading. He stroked her hair and said, "Ellie, I'm really soryy I never got to meet your little brother. I think he would've been a wonderful boy. You never talk about him much, but what little you've said told me that much. You should be proud of how much you did for him. I don't think he knew how to tell how thankful he was to you, but if you search your memories, I'm sure you'll find his way of showing you. I know you think you failed to save him, but you're wrong, Ellie. You saved him so many times. And that makes you a wonderful person."

 Ellie shook her head and Tom pulled her in even closer. Ruth slipped behind her and together with Tom she locked Ellie into a warm embrace. Ellie tried to resist and thereby refuse Tom's words, but there was no escape. Ruth whispered into her ear, "Think back, Ellie."

 A little groan escaped Ellie as she struggled to keep her memories from flashing in front of her eyes, but her walls had crumbled. She saw him. His little face. She heard the pitter patter of his feet. She felt the tickle of his hair against her nose. She smelled the shampoo he liked and the stuff she used to treat his scrapes. And she remembered. The way he looked at her when he thought she wasn't looking. A look that told her he suspected there was something she wasn't telling him. A look that told her he knew she was being strong for him. A look of love. And always he'd snuggle into her after she saw that look.

 How long had he known? All along? It didn't matter. He had never told her. He'd known and he'd still loved her. Tom was right. She couldn't have done more than she had. She couldn't have.

 Her head stopped shaking, and she leaned her forehead against Tom's chest. "I did what I could."

 "You did." Ruth and Tom said in unison. Two voices, and neither had spoken with a hint of hesitation. They'd known before her, and she'd never even told them. Ellie took a deep breath and gently pushed Tom and Ruth back. They let go without a struggle and moved away to give Ellie space. "I did what I could."




Calm Ch. 06



They nodded and smiled. Ellie couldn't return their smile, but an inkling of something grew in her chest. She got up from the couch and walked to the front door. Without turning back, she said "I'm going for a walk."

 The words still echoed in her head. I did what I could. I did what I could. The box in her hands proved it.



Calm Ch. 07



Author's note: Well, dear reader, you've come to the final part of this story. I'm grateful you've taken the time to come this far, and I hope you've enjoyed the journey.

 This story has been a big puzzle, threading the needle through all kinds of tight spots and delicate situations.

 Still, I hope I've managed to pen down a gripping and convincing story. I trust you will let me know if I have or not.

 This being the final part, I'd be more than happy to read comments that talk about the story as a whole.

 Enjoy the rest of day, and until I post another story.

 _________________________________________________

Final

_________________________________________________

 Two years later

 Ruth entered the living room of the beach house first and threw open the windows to let the fresh sea breeze sweep inside. The sounds of gulls and laughing drifted in from outside. 

 It was a welcome treat after being cooped up in the car for so long. Ellie's voice sounded from behind Ruth, and the girl closed her eyes as the fresh wind caressed her skin. "That's nice, Ruth."

 "It is." Ruth turned around and smiled. "I think we'll have a great time here. The place is perfect too."

 Ellie opened her eyes and glanced around. The walls were painted in soft pastels, not her choice of coloring, but it gave the room an airy feel. Each piece of furniture was simple yet elegant. She loved the feature wall with a huge picture of cherry tree branches laden with delicate blossoms printed on it. The breeze in the room seemed to rush along the beautiful petals, enticing them to their last dance. 

 Ellie walked up to the wall and put her hand on the cool paper. "Thank you for this, Ruth. It means a lot to me that you and Tom want to be around when I do this. Matthew feels the same way."

 Ruth heard a light quiver in Ellie's voice and put her arms around the girl from behind. Ellie relaxed back into her, and the older, more experienced woman said, "You're the queen of this house for as long as we're here. Anything that happens, anything at all, will be decided by you. If nothing turns out happening, then that's fine to. You've been working towards this for two years now. You've found someone to share yourself with. I'm sure he can wait, and I'm sure he'll be happy to let you hold the reins. Just try to relax and let it happen."

 Ellie grabbed Ruth's hand with hers and squeezed it. Ruth kissed Ellie's temple and said, "Will you be okay?"

 Ellie nodded and swallowed. "I'm just a little nervous."

 "You'll be fine."

 At that moment, Tom and Matthew walked into the room. They were carrying the luggage, not that there was a huge heap of it. They'd packed light. Sunny weather meant light clothing and anything they needed they could find in one of the local shops. No sense in worrying about not having something, they were on holiday. "This place looks better for real than in the pictures. And the beach, I can't wait to go swim."

 Ruth let go of Ellie and took one of the bags from Tom. "I'm going to go change in my bikini. I'll be ready in a few."

 She winked at Tom, and he smiled as he watched his wife walk away with a seductive sway to her steps. He saw Matthew's eyes had found the same interesting view and lifted his eyebrow. The younger guy blushed and looked away. Tom slapped him on the shoulder and laughed. "You're only human, Matthew, and Ruth is a beautiful woman. But I think you should pay attention to someone else."

 Matthew glanced at Ellie, and his blush turned an even deeper red. "I'm sorry."

 Ellie walked over to him and put her hand on his. She looked up at him and with an understanding look in her eyes, she said "It's all right, Matt. I think Ruth's really beautiful too, and I can't wait to see her bikini."

 The flabbergasted look on Matthew's face made Tom laugh, and he walked away to his and Ruth's bedroom shaking his head. Before he left the living room, he said "Give the boy a break, Ellie. We just got here."

 Ellie smiled and picked up one of the bags Matthew had put down. "Come, let's get settled in."

 ***

 A little while later, Tom and Ruth had left for the beach. Ruth had been wearing a beautiful black bikini that highlighted her slender, exquisitely toned body. Matthew had blushed, and Ellie had teased him about it. She really didn't mind, his honest responses were what had attracted her to him in the first place. But now they were alone, things caught up to Ellie and she stilled.

 Matthew didn't miss her suddenly turning quiet, and he put his arms around her so she could lean against him. "Want to go for a walk?"

 "No."

 Matthew swallowed hard. "You want to... you know? While they're gone."

 Ellie nodded and balled her fists. Her heart pounded in her chest, and a delicious wave of anticipation swept over her. Was this really going to happen? And why wasn't she scared?

 "Want me to take the lead?"

 She dug her nails into the palms of her hands, but she couldn't answer right away. Too much was going through her. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. It's going to... Will it hurt? No, Matt wouldn't hurt her. He'd be gentle. He'd be good to her and not hurt her. He'd feel worse than she did if he hurt her. Another reason why she loved him.

 "Ellie?"

 His soft call pulled Ellie from the thoughts swirling in her head. "Yes."

 Matthew whispered in Ellie's ear, "I'll be gentle. I just want you to feel amazing. You deserve it."

 His words were still filtering through when Matthew took her earlobe between his teeth and nibbled it. Ellie gasped, and the tension in her body dissolved. Before she knew it, Matthew's hands were on her as well. One finger traced her collar bone while another teased the sensitive skin of her throat just below the ear he was nibbling. His touch danced and slowed, waking up her skin and kindling her desire. "Please turn around."

 In a flash she spun around, ready for a kiss. But his first target was her collar bone. The brush of his lips made Ellie push her body against his as he slowly worked his way up along her throat and cheek until he pressed a little kiss on the tip of her nose. 

 Matthew pulled back a little and watched Ellie's beautiful eyes. "I love you, Ellie, and I don't want to hurt you. I want you to feel so good you can't stop smiling. If I do something you don't like, just tell me. And if you like something, just ask for more. I don't care how long it takes or how hard it is, I'll keep doing whatever you want me to do for as long as I can. I could just kiss you for hours on end, you're so wonderful."

 Ellie looked at him in disbelief. Hours? The word stuck in her head when his lips brushed hers for the first time. It faded quickly as he explored her full lips with feather light kisses. Her lips tingled when he stopped, and she looked at him in surprise. He smiled and said, "You have the softest lips, Ellie."

 Her disbelief in how long he'd take kissing her disappeared completely as he deepened his kiss. He pulled Ellie's body against his, and she felt the strength of his body against hers. There was such power in the flesh pressed against her, but none would ever be used to hurt her. She wanted to know what Matthew felt like. She knew a cock, but she didn't know a man.

 Matthew teased his tongue into her mouth for the first time as Ellie fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. Her hands trembled, and it was hard for her to focus with one of his hand in her hair and the other stroking her back and getting ever closer to her ass. After her fifth attempt at undoing his third button, Ellie groaned into his mouth and yanked the shirt. Two buttons popped off. She left the last one for what it was and put her hands on Matthew's warm skin.

 He didn't stop kissing her, even though she felt a gentle shuddering in his chest as he chuckled inwardly at her impatience. She put her nails in his skin and dragged them down, which elicited a real shudder. Well, well. She didn't have time to contemplate her possibilities though. Matthew slid his hands under her shirt and felt her satin skin under his hands. A low moan escaped him at feeling her warmth. The sound struck Ellie like a sledge. He wanted her! That sound wasn't an act.

 Something inside of Ellie woke up in response to Matthew's growing desire. His kisses felt great, but they had been just kisses to her. Now she realized they were foreplay. A dance as old as the first man and woman laying together for the first time. His touch took on a new dimension as he kept kissing her. Ellie wanted to feel more and pushed Matthew back so she could take off her top and bra. No need to do it in any delicate or sexy way. She wanted them gone now.

 Once she was free of her restricting clothes, she pushed her chest against her lover, and that new spot inside of her sung when she heard and felt him groan in response. For the first time he'd stopped kissing her. Ellie put her ear against Matthew's chest and heard his heart beating fast. She'd done that. Just by kissing.

 Matthew wrapped his arms around Ellie and crushed her against his chest. "Ellie, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I love watching you do anything. Even just walking around to get a drink. Brushing aside your hair, anything. When you walked into that classroom, I thought you were lost. But you weren't. You sat down next to me and got out your books. I couldn't believe it. I dreamed about you from day one.

 "And now I'm touching you and tasting you... I know it's going to be amazing. I just know I'll never forget the look on your face. Thank you for letting me do this for you. I love you."

 A new kiss silenced Ellie's answer. Tears rolled down her cheeks as Matthew gently pushed her onto the bed. He shook his head when she tried to speak as he removed her skirt and panties. She was naked before him. "Can I look at you, Ellie?"

 Matthew removed the rest of his clothing as he waited for her answer. She nodded as her eyes traveled along his body. It felt strange to her that she didn't feel the need to hide herself from him. He wanted her. She wanted to give herself to him. He thought she was beautiful. Oddly enough, she was happy to be beautiful. She had something to show and please her lover.

 Ellie closed her eyes to fight back fresh tears. How many more times was she going to have to fight these feelings? This astonishment about something that should come naturally? A gentle touch just below her breasts startled Ellie from her thoughts, and her eyes fluttered open. Matthew saw and closed them again with two fingers. "Just feel for now. Feel what your wonderful body can do for you."

 She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. As soon as she did so, Matthew's fingers returned to skating and dancing across her skin. He let his fingers dance and skate all along Ellie's body, looking for her secret spots. Matthew found all of them, one by one. Her collar bone wasn't a secret, but the little valley between her breasts was. The same held for the undersides of her breasts and surprisingly her left wrist, but not her right.

 Throughout Matthew's search, Ellie had become restless and aroused to levels unfamiliar to her. Her body was on fire. Every bit of her sang and tingled. Each piece of skin expected his touch, yearned for it. Matthew smiled as he saw the pink blush on her chest and cheeks. The thin sheath of sweet covering her skin made her shine in the soft light. His smile faded as he was struck again by how beautiful Ellie really was. He'd always though clothes made woman more beautiful. Not Ellie. He'd never seen her as beautiful as she was now.

 Matthew wanted to see her writhe in pleasure. Sensual pleasure given the right way. He grabbed Ellie's left hand and pressed a kiss on her wrist. The touch drew a moan from Ellie that turned into a groan when he ran his finger along the underside of both her breasts. Matthew wanted to go on teasing her for hours more, but this wasn't the time for that. He took his place between her legs and let his hard shaft rest against her shivering pussy. "Ellie, open your eyes."

 Ellie's eyes flicked open, and she looked straight at his cock resting against her lips. Any apprehension she might've felt had long since fled. She wanted this. Her pussy was a ball of liquid fire inside of her. She was ready. Her eyes met his. "Do it, Matt. I'm ready."

 He nodded and put the tip of his cock against her entrance. "I'll go slow, Ellie. I want you to feel wonderful."

 Ellie gasped and moaned as his hard length slid inside of her. So different from her fingers. So much bigger and harder. Good. More. Inch by inch, Matthew pushed inside of her. Ellie's legs wrapped around his waist, and she pulled the rest of him inside of her. "Please."

 Matthew didn't need any more encouragement, and he leaned down to kiss her. His chest squashed and rubbed her breasts as he moved inside of her. Ellie clamped her arms around him. She had to feel him against her more. Each thrust forced a little gasp out of her. From time to time, Matthew would stay deep inside of her and massage her clit with his pelvis. Ellie let out the most delicious moans when he did that.

 Ellie wasn't even close to coming, and the things Matthew made her feel astounded her already. This wasn't normal. Or was it and had she just never known? It didn't matter because she was drowning in pleasure. Incoherent sound escaped her as Matthew took her higher. She loved her traitorous body right now.

 Matthew sped up his movements, and Ellie's moans took on a higher pitch. He was taking her somewhere. Faster now. So close. Her eyes snapped open, and Ellie screamed as she clamped her arms and legs around him. Matthew couldn't move, so he flexed his muscles to make his shaft hop inside of her. Ellie started shaking as her orgasm raged through her. Matthew wasn't done with her yet though, and he moved his hips as much he could to give her clit more attention.

 Ellie shook her head against his shoulder, flooded by pleasure. A new wave washed over her, and she bit into his shoulder and muffled her screams against his skin. When she finally relaxed, her arms fell down on the bed. Her whole body was limp and heavy. A smile had come to her face. 

 Matthew saw it, and he froze in place. Her wild hair covered one eye, yet still the sunlight played with the loose pale strands strewn about her face. She looked up at him with such a happy look that he forgot about his own pleasure and just smiled back at her. "You liked that?"

 She mouthed the words 'thank you' instead of answering, and her little smile returned. Matthew joined her on the bed, and Ellie snuggled close to him. He knew then and there that neither of them would ever forget this trip. There was just no way.

 ***

 Tom put his finger on Ruth's lips before he nudged her backwards, away from him. She stood before him, gloriously naked. She wasn't hiding her beautiful body from him, but he saw the blush on her cheeks and knew how much she enjoyed having his eyes roam her body. He smiled and pulled her outfit for what he had in mind out of their suitcase.

 A simple white blouse, and a black skirt that reached to the mid thigh and that would billow out nicely in the wind. And sandals. Nothing more.

 Ruth waited for Tom to reach back into the suitcase, but he didn't make another move. She bit her lip, unsure if she was allowed to ask for more clothes. She gathered her courage and opened her mouth, but Tom put his finger to his lips and shook his head. No words, little girl. The message was clear as day.

 Tom making her do what he wanted without even speaking excited Ruth. Was his power over that big that he didn't even need words anymore? A sexy little smile curled the corner of her mouth when she admitted that it was. She kneeled before Tom and lowered her head, another clear unspoken sign.

 Tom smiled and crouched in front of Ruth. He kissed her forehead and took her collar from his pocket. It wasn't one of her jewel collar pieces this time. Instead, he held the deep emerald green leather collar he'd granted her. Ruth wore it rarely, only during special occasions and sometimes during playtime. She'd worn it on her wedding night. She'd worn it on her birthday and on his birthday. But never had she worn it in plain sight. Nobody knew her here, but still, Ruth couldn't stop thinking about how many eyes she would draw.

 The vibrant emerald green contrasted beautifully with her pale skin and her reddish blond hair. Just that visual appeal would draw looks. And then they'd see the rest of her... a faint hint of her breasts through the thin blouse. Her nipples hard as pebbles, obvious to anyone looking. If the wind suddenly picked up they might even see her pussy, dripping with excitement.

 The soft click of her collar being locked in place halted Ruth's galloping thoughts. They hadn't even left the room yet, and she was already breathing heavy. Tom hadn't said a thing to her, and her imagination was going wild. For a moment she was thankful her Sir wasn't going to tease her with his words. She would die of embarrassment if she came from overstimulation wherever he was taking her.

 The collar felt snug around her neck. It had really been a while. Nothing made her feel owned quite like this. She'd always wondered how such a small piece of leather could make her feel completely embraced and loved.

 Tom pushed up her chin, and Ruth saw the love in his eyes before he kissed her. The kiss was gentle and slow. Nothing more than a teasing brush of the lips. He pulled back, and their eyes met. The loving admiration they felt for each other steadily made way for a different kind of attraction. When they kissed again, it was possessive to the extreme. Everything they couldn't say right now was expressed through that kiss. I'm going to have you. I'm going to give myself to you.

 A nudge to her chin had Ruth stand up, and Tom pulled her forward, his hands on her firm ass, and his tongue soon buried in her wet slit. Ruth moaned and grabbed his hair to keep steady as Tom pulled out all the tricks he had to bring her to the edge of a quick orgasm. His tongue flicked, circled and licked at an unrelenting tempo while his fingers found and teased her sensitive little asshole.

 In minutes, the anticipation and the stimulation had Ruth wishing she could beg. If only she had some way to get his attention. She tapped his head, but Tom ignored her and just kept pleasuring her. She tapped again, with more urgency, and this time Tom did let her go. He grinned at her as he got up and stepped back. 

 Ruth's legs trembled as she walked over to the bed and picked up her skirt. She looked at it. It really wasn't that long. She bit her lip as she put it on. Next was the blouse. She looked down after she finished buttoning up and closed her eyes as a wave of excitement shot through her. Her nipples said hi through the blouse. All she'd need to be more obvious was a leash attached to her collar. Ruth moaned at the picture that thought conjured up in her mind. She pushed it aside as she slipped on her sandals.

 Tom held out his hand to her, and Ruth put her small hand in his. They went outside, and that first step across the threshold made Ruth's legs weak. The cool sea breeze played along her sopping wet slit, and she cast Tom a pleading look. He just smiled and brushed his fingers along her blushing cheek. The tips of fingers traveled further down, grazing one of her nipples and eventually settling on the small of her back. Ruth shuddered when Tom started walking and kept a firm grip on her side.

 Ruth wasn't going anywhere he didn't want her to go. She felt safe so close to him. Ruth grabbed his arm with both of hers to try and hide her nipples, but not even ten steps in, her skirt flipped up in the wind, and she felt the warm rays of the sun on her overheated lips. 




Calm Ch. 07



Ruth gasped and tried to over up as fast as she could, but Tom had started walking, and she ended up being too late to hide her predicament from a jogger coming from the opposite end of the coastal path. The guy stumbled but kept running and Ruth felt like her cheeks had been scorched by the sun.

 Tom's grip on her tightened, and she felt the power he used to lead her on. The entire walk along the coastal path was a delicious mix of arousal and safety for Ruth. Near the end, someone simply nearing them on the path was enough to make her walk sluggish from the arousal boiling within her. Ruth felt drunk and overstimulated. The strange looks she got from strangers, the lusty ones from groups of single men, the disapproving ones from women finding their partners distracted. Each look, each scenario her feverish mind cooked up made Ruth sink deeper and deeper into her submission.

 It was okay for them to see. It was okay for her to show herself. Sir would support her. He'd take care of her and nobody else. He'd see how much she needed release, and he'd make her scream when he found the time to be right.

 When they finally made it to an abandoned spot in the middle of the dunes, Ruth didn't need words to let her Sir know what she wanted. She wanted to show herself more. She needed her Master to see she'd do anything for him. She'd be a dirty little slut for him. Nothing would be hidden from him.

 So Ruth bent forward and flipped her skirt up. Her hands went to her ass, and she pulled her cheeks apart, revealing her little asshole and her dripping pussy. Her juices covered her thighs and reflected the sunlight.

 Tom smiled as he pulled out his cock. Nothing got his little girl going like being made to reveal herself in public. He slammed his cock into her waiting pussy, and Ruth screamed as her long awaited orgasm burst through her. Her legs buckled, and her knees thumped into the sand. Tom followed her down and pushed back into her. This time he had a firm grip on her thighs. Ruth was still shaking and spasming from her massive climxa when he started slamming his cock into her slit as hard and fast as he could.

 This wasn't the time for subtlety. Had Ruth controlled herself better, Tom would've taken it slow. But seeing his little girl collapse with pleasure released something inside him, something primal. The dunes were filled with their grunting and growling as they rutted. This went beyond fucking. Moans couldn't describe the pleasure.

 When Tom finally exploded inside Ruth, he doubled over and mashed his chest into her back. Her sheer blouse was soaked with sweat, and the heat radiating from her body was unreal. They stayed like that for long moments, hardly aware there was even a world around them.

 Slowly their senses returned to them, but they hardly had their full judgment after such an intense fuck. The two of them made their way back to the beach house, uncaring about the strange looks they got. There was a bubble around them that nothing could penetrate. 

 And they didn't say a word. They didn't need to. There was nothing to say. They'd left with an unspoken agreement to not speak, and they honored it.

 The shower felt heavenly when they returned to the beach house. All the sand got rinsed from their tired bodies. Tom washed Ruth, and she washed him, their relationship as master and servant temporarily forgotten. They had just shared something special, who cared about semantics right now? He was there, she was there. That was enough.

 They stumbled to the bed, leaning on each other, and fell on it sideways, not even bothering to shift on the bed as they held each other and slowly drifted to sleep.

 ***

 Ellie woke up and smiled when she felt Matthew's warm body next to her. She snuggled closer, draped her leg over his and rubbed herself against him just to have the pleasure of feeling him. Her body was sluggish in the most amazing way, like it had been stuffed with so much warmth and happiness it made it hard for her to move. She hadn't known it could be this way.

 Matthew woke and found himself wrapped up in Ellie. He chuckled and said, "Sleep well?"

 Ellie's head lifted up off his chest, and she threw him a radiant smile. "You're awake!"

 That was all she wrote. In a flash she had her lips on his, and a new dance began. This time Ellie led the kissing. She was eager, sloppy and didn't have a thought in her head as she set herself loose on Matthew. Her hands were everywhere, touching, grabbing, clawing. Matthew couldn't help but respond in kind. Everything about her felt exquisite. Just the softness of her skin was enough to keep him occupied, but Ellie's enthusiasm infected him and soon he was groping and kneading her like an overeager teenager. 

 This wasn't sex, just pure fun. Ellie laughed when he found a ticklish spot, and she tried to shy away from his fingertips, but he gave chase. In seconds, the bed turned into a small arena where one combatant fought for her life while the other tried to tickle her to death. Matthew flipped her on her front at one point so he could tickle the back of her knees. Ellie started drumming the bed with her feet, laughing. The sight of her little feet smacking the bed was too much for Matthew, and he burst out laughing. "Serves you right."

 As he said those words, Matthew put his hands behind his head and lay down on his back beside Ellie. She glanced at him, her face red from exertion, with strands of hair sticking to it. This wasn't over. Quick as a cat she swung her leg over him and plunked down on his stomach. With an oomph, the air in Matthew's lungs got pushed out. "I guess I deserved that. A little."

 Ellie's blond eyebrow raised. "A little?"

 "Sure."

 Ellie couldn't keep up her mock indignation for long, and her smile returned. Matthew reached for her cheek and brushed it with his fingertips."I love it when you smile. Every time you smile... I don't know, I'm not good with words."

 His fingers traced her lips now. "But right now... you're so close to me that it's easy to forget about everything else."

 Matthew put his hand on the back of Ellie's neck and pulled her in for a soft kiss. He kept her close when the kiss broke off. His breath caressed her cheek, and Ellie trembled at the impact of his words, at the gentleness of his touch. He gave her a little nudge so her forehead rested against his. "Did you like your first time?"

 "It wasn't my first time."

 "I know what you told me, and I still think it's your first time. I saw how surprised you were, and it made me as proud as I've ever been."

 Ellie closed her eyes and hid her face in the crook of Matthew's shoulder. She clung to him. No way was she a virgin. Not after her father. Not after she'd been raped.

 Matthew felt the tension in her body, and he slowly stroked her back. He was patient with her and waited until she wasn't gripping him as hard anymore. Ellie still hid her face from him, but he let her. He whispered in her ear, "You don't believe me, and I can't make you. I know that much. But still, even if I'm not experienced, I can still tell you something. Sex takes two people who are there with more than just their bodies. You gave yourself to me, and that made me more happy than I can tell. And from all you've told me, you've never given yourself like that to anyone. So thank you, Ellie. Thank you for letting me be the one to do that for you. I loved it."

 He wrapped his arms around Ellie and said, "You trust me with so much already. So please trust what I say. Today was your first, and I hope it was wonderful."

 Ellie crumbled. All those years spent disgusted with herself when she saw girls holding hands with boys. She'd seen them laughing and kissing, and she'd felt they were in a world beyond her grasp. The normal world wasn't for broken people. She belonged in a place where nobody could see what she really was. She'd hid her beauty, hid her secrets. Trapped in her father's claws. 

 Still, she'd escaped. Her anchor had snapped, and she'd fled the world she could no longer stand. Now, at the end of months and years of anger, terror, grief and self-hatred, she stood at a new twist in her path. Her past had left her scarred, but no longer broken. She was in the normal world now. She could do normal things like hold hands and kiss. And even if this trip wasn't as normal as things could be, it was as much as she could stand for now. For now. She'd added those two words without realizing it. Hope, she'd admitted she had hope.

 Slowly, Ellie let go of Matthew and righted herself until she sat on his stomach. She looked down at him with a look of wonder. "I believe you, Matthew. I don't know why, but I do."

 He smiled up at her and said, "I'm glad you do."

 Ellie sat in silence for a while, seeing herself in a new light. Matthew closed his eyes and relaxed, she didn't need him right now. He'd be surprised if she hadn't forgotten about him already. Still, it made him happy to think she was going through this with him.

 Ellie's words startled him from his own thoughts. "I'm sorry, could you say that again?"

 "Can we walk on the beach hand in hand, maybe kiss a little?"

 Matthew looked up at her with a soft expression and took her hands in his. "Of course, we can even stay out until the sun sets. Would you like that?"

 Ellie smiled a tiny little smile and nodded.

 ***

 The next morning, Ellie woke up and stretched with a satisfying groan. She remembered drifting off to sleep after Matthew had gently teased and fucked her. They'd showered together after watching the sunset on the beach, wrapped in a blanket together. He'd taken his time washing her. Every little bottle of shower gel was sacrificed for the sake of making Ellie's wash extra foamy. 

 The foam didn't last though as his hands ran across her slick skin, rubbing and kneading. After the shower, he'd dried her off and put her on the bed. This time, Matthew didn't hold back on the teasing. He had Ellie squirming and begging before he slid himself inside her and locked hands with her.

 Now, Ellie was gloriously relaxed and curious about the coming day. Nervous too. She thought about the bikini she'd brought along. Was she really going to wear it? Maybe she'd better stick to the one piece suit. She didn't want to be ogled, not like that. It was okay for Matthew to watch her in private because she trusted him. Anyone else had to stay as far away as possible or she'd lash out or panic.

 Ellie shook her head and pushed away her fears. She'd wear the bikini. Matthew would be right there. She wanted him to see her and tell her she was beautiful. He'd keep her safe.

 "Morning, Ellie. Sleep well?"

 Startled, Ellie snapped her head to the side and saw Matthew on his side, with his head leaning on his hand, looking at her. "Nervous?"

 "What? Maybe."

 He chuckled, "Maybe? It's all over your face. Don't worry about it. If you'd just get up and feel in the right pocket of my pants, there's something there for you. Something Tom gave me."

 "I have to get it myself?"

 "Sure, I'll just be here watching you walk."

 Ellie slapped Matthew's chest, and he rolled over on his back, laughing. She ignored his eyes on her as she went over to his clothes and reached in his pocket. There was a small paper envelope with something hard inside. "What's in this?"

 Matthew waved her on and said, "Open it, you'll see."

 Inside Ellie found a thin chain with something that looked like a piece of bamboo hanging from it. She let it dangle in front of her face and frowned. "A necklace?"

 "It's a whistle. Why don't you put the bottom between your lips and blow?"

 The sound of the whistle was shrill and surprisingly loud. Matthew got up and took the whistle from Ellie. He put it around her neck and said, "Keep this on. Whistle twice to let me know you're looking for me. Whistle once if you're in any danger. I know you're doing well with your aikido, but everyone still wants to be there if something happens. You're extraordinary, Ellie. Enough to make even smart people do dumb things. Let's not take chances. And I kind of like how it looks on you now that I see it."

 Ellie looked down and saw that the necklace was the right length for the whistle to dangle just above the cleft between her breasts. It was polished silver and would go well with her platinum hair and her white bikini. She took it between her fingers and looked up at Matthew. "Thanks."

 Her expression told him she wanted that one word to mean more, and Matthew kissed her to tell her he understood. "Anything, Ellie. Everyone in this beach house has a weak spot for a certain beautiful girl. Now, hop in the shower, and we'll head for breakfast and then the beach."

 Some time later, Ellie and Matthew arrived at the beach. A white sarong was tied over Ellie's left shoulder, while her hair was draped over her right. They walked onto the sand to find a spot and heads turned in a gentle wave as Ellie walked past. A couple teenage girls whispered to each other before they watched Ellie walk by. Matthew considered what they were seeing. 

 Ellie walked with an elegance she'd copied from Ruth and that she'd made her own. Her sarong hugged her body like a thin veil, hiding and revealing at the same time. The fabric played around her toned legs as she walked. Ripples ran up the fabric. Somehow, her uncovered shoulder decorated with her flow of long, pale hair was what enticed him the most. It was hard to not just keep looking at Ellie. There was just so much to admire about her.

 It took a closer look to notice the last appeal her looks had to offer. One eye was a pale shade of gray while the other was a pale blue. Sometimes it was hard to see the difference, but in the bright sunlight the blue took on a darker hue while the gray faded and revealed little golden specks flickering in the rays of the sun.

 Matthew put his hand on Ellie's shoulder when they found a spot and said, "If you're not comfortable, you don't have to take it off. We can even go back if you'd like that better."

 Ellie shook her head and grabbed the ends of the knot she'd tied her sarong with. With one pull it was undone, and she pulled the fabric loose with a flourish. More than one person gasped as Ellie revealed herself. Matthew saw blushes as people looked away in embarrassment after their involuntary responses. Others were less bothered with their response and just gaped as Matthew and Ellie put down their towels. Tom shook his head and said, "You'd think being at a beach would prepare them for some skin. Lie down on your stomach, I'll put sunscreen on your back."

 Ellie was glad to be lying down, facing away from the people on the beach. Her moment of courage had wavered after she caught some of the looks cast her way. Putting her sarong back on was tempting to say the least, but she couldn't be afraid now. Her beauty wasn't a curse, it was a gift she could give to those who cared for her.

 Ellie didn't stray far from Matthew during their time on the beach. Anyone who tried to approach her would back off when he subtly made it clear she was with him. She didn't mind that for now. Being seen like this was enough stress by itself. Adding awkward conversation on top of that would be too much. Tomorrow maybe.

 She still enjoyed her time at the beach though. She'd never been before. The sounds of the waves calmed her. The heat wasn't something she was used to, especially not the hot sand that hurt her feet. Matthew had laughed when he saw her dancing around and had shown her the cool, wet sand just below the surface. They played games, swam, laughed and had ice cream. Time flew by, and she forgot about the looks she got wherever she went.

 ***

 Back in the beach house, Matthew said, "You go ahead and have a nice bath. I'll hop in the shower when you're finished."

 He saw the look she gave him when she headed for the bathroom and shook his head. "Not right now, Ellie. I feel like taking it easy for a while. I'll read a little outside on the patio. We can go out and do something in an hour or two, no problem. Or we can stay in. I'm fine with either."

 "Okay. I'll think about it."

 "Take your time."

 Ellie went into the bathroom and messed with the hot and cold water taps until the water was just right. Next to the hotel towels was a thick, fluffy towel with an arrangement of bath oils on top of it. Those hadn't been there in the morning. She smiled as she picked up the lavender oil to smell it. The fresh fragrance worked its way into her nose, and Ellie closed her eyes so she could see the wild lavender bend under the force of the wind that swept the heather and carried the scent with it. She loved lavender. 

 Ellie poured some of the oil in the bath, stirred it in the warm water with her hand and then lowered herself in the liquid heat. A sigh escaped her as the warmth seeped into her body. She didn't move. She just let her limbs go and relax as she closed her eyes and took in more of the delicious scent.

 Matthew looked up when she walked out of the bathroom and smiled. "I love lavender."

 "Me too." She settled down in his lap and said, "Mmm, I feel good right now. Real good."

 "I'm glad you enjoyed your bath." He shut his book and put it to the side. When Ellie didn't make a move, he said, "Could you stand up? I'd like to go shower now."

 "Can I stay? I'm comfy here."

 He stroked Ellie's hair. "Sure, no problem."

 The two of them sat cuddled together in the armchair. Ellie was balled up against Matthew, while he stroked her hair and back. Up, down, back to the top and all over again. His slow touch calmed her down even more, and the lingering heat from the bath made her sleepy. It wasn't long before she fell asleep. Matthew smiled and kissed her forehead before he put her to bed and left a note he'd shower near the pool area so the noise wouldn't wake her up.

 When he came back, Ellie was awake, still naked and sitting cross-legged on top of the bed. Matthew knew from the way she looked at him she had something to say, so he sat down and waited for her to talk. She squirmed a little as he just sat there, looking at her. When the look on his face told her he'd be happy to sit there and wait for her to talk until morning came, Ellie sighed and said, "There are things we haven't done yet, Matthew."

 "Things. You'll have to give me more than that."

 Ellie clenched her hands together and looked down. "Things I used to do with my father."

 Matthew got up from his seat, sat down next to Ellie and pulled her against him. In a soft voice, he said, "Do you want to do those things?"

 She shook her head at first, but stopped. Her stomach cramped as she did so, but she wasn't sure of what she wanted anymore.

 "Sit on my lap?" It took a little shuffling about, but soon enough Ellie sat on Matthew's lap with his hand stroking her back and with her face safely cradled in the crook of his shoulder. "Are you afraid to have sex that way again?"

 Ellie nodded against Matthew's chest. His hand stopped stroking for a moment. "I'm afraid too, Ellie." She looked up at him with surprise in her eyes, and he kissed her on her forehead before he stroked her back again. "I'm afraid I'll make a mistake and hurt you. I don't have that much experience, Ellie. What if I mess up?"

 He sighed. "It's the first thing I thought about when you told me about this trip. What could go wrong? What if I trigger something? Will you hate me if I do? And so on. I thought about what to do many times, until I figured out what I had to do. I almost smacked my head when I saw how easy it would be."

 Ellie pushed back a little and there was a question in her eyes. "Easy?"

 He nodded and said, "You told me about your father and what he did. He never cared about you, but I do. I went on the internet to find out how I can make it good for you. I asked Tom and Ruth. You won't even realize you're doing the same thing you did with him."




Calm Ch. 07



"Really?"

 Matthew slipped his hand in Ellie's hair and pulled her closer. In a soft voice he said, "Really. We can start right now if you want."

 Ellie grabbed his shirt with both hands, and he felt her tension as she struggled to say yes. Matthew brought her lips to his for a kiss. He didn't stop kissing until he felt the tension leave her hands. They broke apart for air and he said, "Just relax, Ellie. I'll stop the moment I think you're not enjoying yourself anymore."

 Matthew slid the tips of his fingers along her sensitive sides, and he saw goose bumps on Ellie's skin. She shivered as he made his slow way down. She knew where his hands were going. Her body thought it knew what he was going to do. It thought wrong. He didn't spread her cheeks and shove a finger up her ass to get her ready in a hurry. Instead he kept up his gentle caresses. 

 He kissed the delicate skin above her collar bone. His hands kept exploring the perfect curve of her ass. Her cheeks were firm and soft under his hands. Ellie moaned softly when he dragged his nails across her cheeks. Not hard, but with just enough force to be different from the playful dance his fingertips danced on her skin. "Put your arms around my neck and lean back, Ellie."

 She leaned back, cutting off his access to her ass, but that was fine for now. Matthew kissed his way down along her collar bone and slowed as he got to the secret spot between her breasts. He heard Ellie's breath speed up as he edged closer to it, and she moaned in protest when he took a turn and instead took one of her nipples between his lips.

 His hands had now reached her chest as well, leaving tingling skin in their wake. Ellie's body was waking up. The tips of Matthew's fingers brushed the underside of Ellie's breasts, and she let out a strangled moan when he gently bit her nipple at the same time. Her nails dug into his neck as his fingers kept up their exploring and finally brushed the spot between her breasts.

 Ellie rolled her hips in his lap as his soft touches fanned her excitement higher. Matthew inwardly smiled. It was time. He pulled back from her breast and said, "Ellie, do you want me to show how amazing your ass can make you feel?"

 His hands weren't still, and pleasure still coursed through her body, but his soft question still made Ellie's desire waver. Was it time to do that again? What if it hurt with him too? She didn't want to hurt. Didn't want to remember. Matthew saw her beautiful face cloud over, and he cupped her cheek. 

 Before Ellie realized he'd moved, Matthew had brought her mouth to his and kissed her with a passion that surprised her. His body pushed hers backwards until she lay down on the bed, with her hands around his neck and lost in returning his kiss. When Matthew pushed himself up, the hunger in Ellie's eyes had returned full force. He looked down in her eyes and smiled. "Try and relax, and I'll do the rest. You can stay like this, no problem."

 Ellie looked up at her lover, and Matthew saw she both wanted and didn't want what was about to happen. One wrong move, and she'd shatter in his hands. If he didn't convince he'd spoken the truth, she'd pull back from him, and who knew how long it would take her to reach out again? Matthew couldn't worry about her demons though. The only thing he had to focus on was muddling her brain so much she couldn't worry anymore.

 Matthew lowered himself along Ellie's body and left a trail of kisses in his wake. He lingered here and there, never for long, always teasing. A kiss on her collar bone. A playful dance of his tongue across her stiff nipple while he rolled its twin between his fingers. Onwards again. His mouth found her belly button as his hands played along her sides, edging close to her breasts, but never giving Ellie more than a teasing brush.

 When he made it to her pussy, Matthew let his hands glide down along her flat stomach. The living satin of her skin was entrancing, and he couldn't get enough of it. Her inner thighs were if possible even softer. He ran his hands down until he reached her knees and then pushed her legs apart. Ellie's glistening pussy invited him in. He'd done this for her before, but her memories would pale to what he was about to do to her now.

 He descended on her tight little pussy and pushed his tongue deep inside. As quick as he'd been to dive in, he pulled back out again so he could pull her lips apart to reveal her pink pussy to him. Quick stabs of his tongue followed, with the occasional long, slow lick with the flat of his tongue. He had no system. He'd fuck her with his tongue and then tease her, switching back and forth with Ellie lost as to what was going to happen. All she knew was that she didn't want him to stop.

 Ellie gasped when Matthew started to rub tiny little circles along the edge of her asshole. She grabbed two handfuls of his hair when he locked his lips around her clit and gently massaged it with the stiff tip of his tongue. Her body exploded in orgasm, and Ellie wrapped her legs around Matthew's head. It didn't faze him though. He kept her high on the wave of pleasure crashing through her until she pushed his head away and relaxed her death grip on his head.

 "Matthew, that was--"

 He looked up from between her legs and smiled. "Shh, I'm not finished. Not even close."

 Ellie wanted to answer, but Matthew took that exact moment to run his tongue over her pussy a fraction to the side of her clit. She moaned and grabbed the sheets in her hands. The second time, Matthew wasn't so merciful on Ellie. He kept drifting away from her clit and then coming back again. His finger never left her ass, teasing, rubbing and even pushing in a little bit and wiggling around. Ellie couldn't believe what he was making her feel. Everything blended together in one electric whirlwind. But she couldn't deny her ass was making her feel amazing.

 Matthew went in for the kill and pushed two fingers inside Ellie's pussy, while he circled her clit with his tongue. At first he kept them still. Her pussy rippled around his fingers, but still he did nothing with them. Ellie pushed her pussy up against his face, desperate to get him where she wanted him. Pulling or pushing his head wasn't working. Something. Anything. She was so close to exploding. "Oh God!"

 Matthew's tongue and fingers suddenly came to frenzied life as they rubbed, licked and flicked as fast as he could manage. He bombarded Ellie with pleasure and soon she rewarded him with a beautiful cry of pleasure. She pulled his hair so hard it hurt, but he couldn't care less. This time he wasn't stopping. He changed up what he was doing, but never slowed down.

 Ellie tried to push Matthew to the side, but she couldn't. Her renewed cries of pleasure as another orgasm crashed over her died in her throat as her body convulsed and then curled up. Every muscle she had slaved away to handle the pleasure that blew her mind.

 This time Matthew eased off and slowly brought Ellie down from her pleasure. She let go of his hair, and he felt her hands slide down his head and then along her sides until they hit the bed with a gentle thud. He worked his way up the bed and smiled when he saw the sweat on her brow and the bright red flush on her chest and face. "How was that, Ellie?"

 She opened her mouth and then shut it again. Her head shook weakly from side to side. Matthew grinned and said, "You didn't enjoy that?"

 He laughed at the exasperated look she threw him and bent down to give her a quick kiss. "I enjoyed that very much, Ellie. If you're up to it, then I'd be happy to do it over tonight."

 Ellie's eyes widened, and she had to avert her face from his. Matthew took advantage of her move and kissed the side of her throat, he whispered "Ask me, and I'll make you feel like that any time. As many times as you want. Wake me up if I'm asleep, I don't care. I love making you scream like that. Does wonders for a man."

 Matthew chuckled when his next kisses lured out a soft moan. Soon he had mercy on her though, and he laid down beside her. Ellie nestled her body against his. She couldn't say the words just yet, but inside a ball of love and gratitude warmed her.

 ***

 The whistle sounded loud and sharp. People turned their heads to see where the noise came from and before they even realized a bunch of girls was being harassed, Tom had made his way to Ellie. He stepped forward and took the guy's wrist in his hand. A simple push in the right spot forced the guy to release Ellie's hand, and Tom twisted his arm to force him on his knees. He looked to the side and asked Ellie, "Are you okay?"

 She rubbed her wrist and said, "I'm okay."

 He looked over at the two girls Ellie had been hanging out with all day and said, "Get behind me, all three of you."

 Big-eyed, the two teens joined Ellie behind Tom just as the guy's friend made a move to do something about his buddy's situation.

 "Stop." The tone of Tom's voice made the friend hesitate, and Tom used that moment to grab his hand as well and force him to the ground next to his friend. Guy number one tried to make a break for it and got his arm twisted. He cried out in pain and settled down again. 

 Tom took a deep breath to calm his fear and anger and said, "Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to let the two of you go. You'll walk away from here, and you'll do your best to not show your faces to these girls again. I promise you, if you try to harass these girls again, I'll be there."

 He leaned forward and pulled both of their faces closer. In a quiet voice, he said "I can pop your arm if I want to. Don't tempt me."

 Tom stood back up and let go of their hands. They looked up at him with apprehension in their eyes and walked away, rubbing their arms and casting back quick glances as they disappeared along the beach. Tom turned around and took Ellie's hands in his. "You're okay?"

 Ellie nodded as he pulled her in for an embrace. He looked over her head at the two girls and said, "How about some ice cream for the three of you?"

 They nodded, not sure what to say. Tom let go of Ellie and let her walk with the two girls while he kept his distance. Was this always going to happen? She needed to be more assertive and use the skills she'd learned to defend herself. Tom shook his head and watched the other two girls huddle close to Ellie. A smile came to his face. Not everyone who saw her reacted like an idiot. Ellie had made friends, and they were taking care of her. He wanted to do something to thank them. "Hey, girls. Wait up for a second." 

 The girls turned around and Tom said, "Is there something besides eating ice cream you'd like to do? I feel like treating the three of you to something fun. I won't go with you, but Ellie's boyfriend should be getting back from the house soon enough. He can go with you."

 They looked back at him with a blank expression. Tom laughed and said, "No ideas? Do you like some adventure? There's a beach not far from here where you can rent kite buggies. They give you a quick class and then you can blast across the beach. There are some shops here along the coastline, and I think there's an aquarium or something not too far from here either. Maybe you want some food? It's your call."

 The girls huddled together and discussed their options. Tom heard the word shopping a lot at first, but kite popped up more and more as their discussion went on. Finally, after the three of them nodded their agreement to each other, they turned to Tom, and Ellie said "Kite buggies sound great, but we're kind of under-dressed and hungry." She shrugged her shoulders in apology, but the smile on her face didn't make her gesture very convincing.

 Tom played along and sighed. "Well, let's start with the food then. Any of you know what's good here? Or should I just let Matthew surprise you? I'll give him some cash. Don't worry about overspending, but don't go overboard either, okay?"

 The girls giggled and nodded. 

 "We'll meet back here in a few minutes after we all grab our stuff." Tom walked away and heard their excited voices behind him. He smiled. Ellie's afternoon wouldn't be spent worrying over what happened. She'd be having a blast instead.

 ***

 Pale morning light wormed its way through the drapes. The day had begun, but it was still shaking off the night. Ellie had woken up hours ago, and she sat on the bed looking down at Matthew. His face was gentle in his sleep, and his soft breathing was the only noise to be heard in the room. The thoughts she'd had, the things she'd felt and experienced on this trip... they all flitted through her mind.

 A lover she trusted enough to do this for her, and he'd done it well. Never once had he hurt her. She'd felt in his touches how important it was for him to please her. He'd given her what had always been taken from her in the past. He'd guided her through the hours spent together. His gentle touch had nudged her here and there, until she stumbled on more discoveries.

 Today was the last day. Today, she'd say goodbye to the Ellie she'd known. She quietly left the room and made it over to Tom and Ruth's room. The light in their room built over time, and Ellie watched Tom stir in his sleep. He thrashed about a little, letting out soft grunts until he opened his eyes and looked around. Ellie felt his eyes on her, and he frowned. In a blink, he was sitting up with his hand on top of hers and a worried look on his face. "Nightmare?"

 Ellie shook her head in silence. She wanted to speak, but the words balled up in her throat. They didn't want to be spoken out loud, in fear of what might happen.

 "Ellie?" Tom kept his voice soft and cupped Ellie's cheek in his hand so he could turn her face towards his. "Everything okay?"

 Ellie nodded and looked down again. She closed her eyes when Tom kissed the top of her head and said, "Take your time, I'm here."

 Her heart pounded in her chest as he put his arms around her. She had to say it now, or she'd never ask. Ellie snapped her head up and blurted out, "Please adopt me, Tom."

 Tom's eyes widened in surprise, and he opened his mouth in an attempt to answer, but no words came out. He shut his mouth and ran his hand through his hair. What was he supposed to say here? He didn't know. Did he refuse her? He couldn't really be a father to someone her age. But what would it mean to her if he refused her? Would she think nobody wanted her? What if he said yes? What would that even mean? He didn't know.

 Ellie watched the emotions flit across Tom's face. A stab of hurt pierced her gut. Was it such a repellent question? She jumped up from the bed and tried to run away, but Tom's voice stopped her.

 "Wait! Wait, don't go away. I... I don't know what to say. Why? Why do you want me to adopt you? I'm not saying no here, I just want to know why."

 Ellie turned on her heels and saw how important it was for Tom to have some kind of explanation. Her hurt faded, and she hurried back to the bed so she could wrap herself around him. Tom put his arms around her. Ellie took a deep breath and gathered the courage she drew from his tight embrace. Now. She had to say something. "Tom."

 He looked at her and said, "Yes, Ellie?"

 "I want you to be my father. I want you and Ruth to be my family. Real family. Please... I want to be adopted."

 Tom answered in a soft voice. "But why?"

 Ellie took a deep breath and let all her thoughts stream out. "I want to know that what I feel now will always be there. Always. It's all I want. I don't need money. As long as we do things together. You know, family stuff. Like this trip. I want a family, Tom. With a father and mother who care about me. With fun uncles and aunts. Maybe one day I'll have another little brother. It's the most normal thing in the world, a family. I don't want to be an orphan anymore, all alone."

 There was such hope in her eyes as Ellie looked up at Tom.

 "Wow, Ellie." He put his finger on her lips when she opened her mouth to let out another stream of words. He waited until he was sure she understood he wanted her to be quiet before he took away his finger and ran his hand through his hair again. "I don't know what to say. I care about you. I mean, we took care of you, Ruth and I, and you ended up staying with us far longer than we could've expected. We saw you go through so much. Maybe I should've known it was stupid of me to think you'd stay for a while and then leave and that would be that. 

 "I love you. Ruth loves you. My friends love you. Ruth and I always think about how you're doing on your own. Are you okay? What if someone hurts you?"

 Tom sighed and leaned back in the bed. "I don't want you to walk out of our lives, Ellie. I want to know where you are and with who so I can be at ease. I want you to be happy. And now you're asking me if I want you to be my daughter. I'm not even old enough to be your father. Ruth's younger than I am. Does it have to be like that, Ellie? Can't you just stay close to us and not be a stranger?"

 Ellie shook her head, pulled up her knees and wrapped her arms around them. Tom's face was a blur through her tears. "No, Tom. Your apartment is my home now. It's where the people I love live. It's where I'm the happiest. I don't have to live there, but I need to know that I could if I needed to. Please, Tom. I live on my own and study. That's what my scholarship's for. But let me drop in whenever I want to. Let me come home to my mom and dad on Sundays to have dinners. Let me come for Christmas and birthdays. Let it be like that for me. I love Matthew, but he's not my family. It's different."

 Tom pulled Ellie towards him and wrapped her back into his arms. She couldn't speak through her sobs anymore. Tom rocked her from side to side, whispering little bits of gibberish into her ear so she could hear his voice and calm down. 

 When her sobs died down, Tom pushed up her chin so she could look at him. Ellie looked up at him with hope evident in her eyes. He shook his head and said, "I'll think about it, Ellie. It's not a small thing to ask. It's not something I can just decide like that. I have to give you, Ruth and myself that respect. You'll have to wait, but in return I promise I won't change my mind after I give you my answer. Is that alright?"

 "Mhm." Ellie didn't trust her voice right now.

 "Thank you, Ellie. For asking me and for giving me time. I'll take some time to myself to think later, but for now let's just lie her for a bit, okay?"

 "Mhm."

 He pulled her head against his chest again and said, "Whatever choice I make, I won't let you walk out of my life."

 ***

 Tom spent the rest of the morning at the beach, catching some sun and swimming. He couldn't get Ellie's heartfelt desire out of his head. It made him quiet during lunch, and he could feel Ellie's tension at his quiet. He saw the looks she gave him. The barely hidden fear at being rejected and lost. He pulled her in for a tight hug after they finished their plates and said, "Ellie, I don't want you to worry. Just give me some time to process. Okay?"

 She nodded against his chest and squeezed him tighter to her. He couldn't think if she looked at him like that. All he wanted to do was give her another hug. A walk would do him good. 

 For the umpteenth time in the few hours since Ellie's confession, the same thought crossed Tom's mind. A father. Ellie wanted a father, and she wanted it to be him. She wanted a mother as well, and in her mind Ruth would be great. A no-brainer really. Just say yes. Sure, why not? Maybe because this and that and who knows what else. His thought just drew circles around themselves and wound up at the same spot over and over. The spot of not knowing what the hell to do.

 Being a father meant raising Ellie. Granted, her childhood was long past, so no sleepless nights and school hours. He wished he could've seen her as a little girl, running around, laughing and playing with her little brother. Must've been a wonderful sight. She still didn't smiled often, not even after two years. How much more beautiful would she be if smiling came natural to her?




Calm Ch. 07



Money wasn't an issue, plus she had a scholarship and some government support. Still, if she needed something extra he'd be glad to chip in for her. That was a given. And really, if you thought about it, in the past two years she hadn't asked for that much from them had she? Nothing they didn't want to give her. 

 They'd helped Ellie through so much already, Ruth and him. Would it really be that different? She was a wonderful girl, and he wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. Ruth had to agree with the whole idea as well though. She'd be adopting a girl seven years younger than her. The idea spun him for a loop. Was that even possible? He pulled out his phone and after a quick search he found the adoption laws. No adopting anyone less than fifteen years your junior. He put down his phone and sighed. So much for adoption.

 Tom stopped walking and closed his eyes. The sun warmed his face as he let his mind wander. Was there nothing he could do? Something that had the same spirit as what Ellie wanted. Family didn't have to be written on paper. 

 His eyes flicked open at the thought of official papers. There was one piece of paperwork he could do with whatever he wanted. He smiled and turned back to the beach house. This would work out just fine. He took his phone from his pocket and dialed Ellie's number. She picked up in a flash.

 "Ellie, I'm heading into town for a bit. Don't worry about why. I promise you'll like the reason. Let it be a surprise, okay?"

 'What? How long will you be out?'

 "Not long, two hours max."

 'Okay, just come back soon.'

 "I will, Ellie. See you in a bit."

 He ended the call and dialed Ruth's number as he made his way back to the house.

 "Hi, Ruth."

 'Hi, Sir. Did something happen?'

 "Yeah, about that. Ever thought about being a mother?"

 'What? Why? Maybe.'

 Tom ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Not mother in that sense."

 'Tom, what are you talking about?'

 "Ellie asked me if we'd adopt her this morning. She's serious about it too. She wants another shot at a family and to her that's you and me."

 'Oh, Ellie.'

 "I'm thinking about saying yes."

 'What? Tom, we can't just adopt her. She was just going to stay with us until she recovered. She's doing okay on her own now.'

 "True. And that doesn't change. She doesn't want to move back in or anything like that. How did she say it? All she wants is to know that she can live with us if she needs to. Come by for dinner on Sundays and holidays. Do family stuff. What can you say to that? You should've seen her face this morning. She's terrified we'll say no, and she still asked."

 'Tom.'

 "Wait, Ruth. Don't just say no. We can't adopt her anyway. It's not possible legally. But if I could arrange something that means the same to her without the scary 'we have a child now', what would you say then?"

 'I don't know Tom. What can I say? She's like a little sister to me. I worry about her being on her own. I mean, Matthew's a good kid, but I still worry. If she came back to our place over the weekends, I wouldn't send her away. Of course not. And I want her to be there for Christmas. Are you sure that's all she's asking?'

 "All she wants is a family. Adoption was the best she could come up with."

 The line was silent for a while as Ruth mulled things over. 'I need to talk to her about this.'

 "I know, and you will. Go find her when I hang up. I have an errand to run. I had a thought, and I'm going to follow up on it."

 'What thought, Tom?'

 "I'm going to a jeweler's I think, maybe another shop, but a jeweler's fits what I want. When I get there, I'll pick out two identical things. Doesn't matter what, earrings maybe. I'll have the guy there engrave both of them. One will say 'for my daughter', and the other will say 'from my father'. I'll give her the one that says 'from my father'. The other one's going in my safety deposit box, and I'll change my will so it says Ellie gets that one when I die. It's not what she came up with, but I think it works."

 Another long pause stretched across the line. 'I love you, Tom.'

 Tom smiled and wished he had Ruth close enough to grab right now. "I love you to, Ruth. Every now and then you remind me why I proposed to you."

 'Hey! I was having a moment here. Don't ruin it for me.'

 "Say you're not smiling."

 Another silence.

 "Put your tongue back in your mouth."

 Ruth laughed and said, 'How did you know?'

 "Like I said, sometimes you remind me of why I proposed to you."

 She laughed again. 'You're the worst, Tom.'

 "Why thank you. So you like my idea?"

 'Yes.'

 "You can cook up your own matching pair of something. But don't feel like you have to, it's your choice to make. You can show Ellie you love her however you want."

 'I will, Tom.'

 "I won't be out much longer, just need to go to town."

 'Okay, I'll see you soon then."

 Tom cut the line and made the rest of the way to his car by the beach house. Ruth agreeing had lifted a huge weight off his shoulders.

 ***

 Tom came back from his wandering around town, and his pocket felt heavy. He carried two simple silver bands, one more slender than the other. They both had a matte and weathered look to them that elevated them from simple and elegant to something more, something different. He had a silver chain for Ellie to wear her ring on as well. It wouldn't do for her to be seen wearing what could only be described as a wedding band. That part of the symbolism made Tom a little uncomfortable, but it was a very strong sign that the rings in his pocket were paired.

 Tom hoped Ellie would understand this was all he could do for her. Making it official was impossible, but making it undeniable wasn't. Ellie would become his daughter the moment she put his gift around her neck.

 Ruth saw him come into the living room, and she got up from the couch without a word. She had a small plastic bag in her hand. Tom glanced down at it and then back at Ruth, and she nodded. He could tell she was ready by the set of her jaw. One last deep breath, and the time had come. Tom cleared his throat, and Matthew and Ellie looked up from the brochures they'd been looking at. "Matthew, could you give us a moment alone with Ellie? We need to talk to her in private."

 Matthew felt Ellie tense up next to him, and he gave her a worried look that made Tom smile. He was a good kid. "Don't worry, Matt. It's not bad news."

 Ellie gasped at those words and tears filled her eyes. She put her hand over his and said, "It's okay, honey. I'll tell you tonight. This is just something between them and me. It's really important to me."

 "Okay then. I'll be in the next room, alright? Just shout, and I'll be there."

 Ellie gave him a watery smile, and he left the room without another word of protest. Tom watched him leave and said, "I like the choice you made, Ellie. Has he been good to you?"

 The faint blush on Ellie's cheeks spoke volumes, and Tom didn't press on. If something had gone wrong, she'd have found him and Ruth soon enough. That's why they were here. Tom gestured for Ellie to come to him and said, "No need to answer, that's not what I want to talk you about. Come sit here with us. I have some bad news and some good news to tell you."

 Ellie sat down next to Tom. "Bad news?"

 "I'm sorry, but it's impossible for Ruth and me to adopt you. Legally that is."

 Ellie's eyes widened in shock. "But... you said it wasn't bad news. I thought..."

 Tom put his hand on Ellie's head and pulled her against him. "Shhh, Ellie. You need to be at least fifteen years older than someone if you want to adopt them. Ruth's only seven years older than you, and I'm only three years older than her." 

 "So we can't be family?"

 Tom pressed a kiss on Ellie's platinum hair and said, "We can't adopt you, but we can still be a family. I've found a way for you to become my daughter for as long as I live."

 He gently pushed Ellie away and took the small jewelry box from his pocket. Ellie frowned in confusion when she saw the two rings, one of them hung on a chain. Tom hooked the chain with his finger and pulled the ring from the box. It dangled in front of Ellie's face, and he took the ring between two fingers and held it so Ellie could read the inscription inscribed into the metal. "From my father. Why? What does this mean, Tom?"

 "Pick up the other one and read what's written there."

 "For my daughter. I don't understand, Tom."

 Tom took his ring back from her and put the one meant for her in her hand and folded her fingers over it. "I'm keeping one of these. When we get back home, I'll put it in my safety deposit box. I'll also go to the notary. I have a will in case something happens to me. I'll be adding a line there. A line that says you get the ring that says 'for my daughter'. It will be there until I die. It'll be proof you're my daughter."

 He sighed. "I know it's maybe far fetched, but your and my ring are a pair that won't be reunited until I die. Until that day comes, I'll treat you as my daughter. And when the day has passed, you'll have proof I thought of you as my daughter for all those years. It's the best I can do, Ellie."

 Ellie's hand balled up around the ring and chain as she stared down at it. Was this enough? If she lost this trinket, would the pair be broken and their family bond as well? She felt Tom's eyes on her. No. In two years he'd never mistreated her. He'd tolerated her unpredictable struggle. Him and Ruth.

 She looked up at Ruth. Tom had made a gesture, but what about Ruth? Did she want this as well? A gentle smile graced Ruth's beautiful face, and a wave of relief rushed through Ellie. Ruth got up and sat down on Ellie's other side. With not a word said, she put a torn book on Ellie's lap.

 Watership Down. Ruth put her hand on the cover and said, "This is the first half of the book. Read it, it's a wonderful story. My favorite book growing up. The second half of the book is mine. I need you to promise me you'll read the second half of this story only when you get the second half of this exact book in your hands. And just like with Tom, that'll only be after I die."

 Ruth opened Ellie's half of the book and written on the first page in elegant handwriting was, 'For Ellie, my cute little sister, now and until the day I come to pass.'

 Ellie's finger brushed along the word sister, and in a soft voice, Ruth said "I'm a little young to be your mother, don't you think? You're more like a little sister to me. I already felt that way after you were with us for a few weeks. And look at you now. My little Ellie has a lover now. She's living on her own, and she's doing great with her studies."

 Ruth wrapped her arm around the younger girl. "Tom told me about you asking to be adopted. He told me you said you didn't want much from us, just dinner on Sundays and holidays. A home to go back to."

 Ruth kissed Ellie on the temple. "I'm not sure, but maybe you thought that after you graduated, all of that would go away. I'm telling you right now that will never happen. You're family. You've been family for over two years now. If you need some kind of symbol to feel sure about that, then I'm happy to give you one. More than happy. Tom went a little more overboard than I did, but you know him. When he gets an idea in his head, he runs with it. So, Ellie, is it enough for you?"

 Ellie looked from Ruth to Tom and back. The book and the ring lay forgotten in her lap. Any shock she'd felt at hearing they couldn't adopt her had vanished, and a different kind of shock had settled in. They wanted her to stay. They were trying their hardest to tell her that. If they could've made it legal, they would've. Ellie believed they'd do anything for her, even after they'd done so much for her over the last years.

 The tears she'd been holding back rolled down her cheeks as a first sob welled up. Seconds later, two sets of arms were wrapped around her, sheltering her. Since that first time she'd fled to their room after having a nightmare, Ellie'd never felt as comfortable as when they both hugged her at the same time. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

 The same words kept rolling off Ellie's tongue even as she bawled like a little child. She'd treasure the gifts they'd given her. Ruth's book would be in her nightstand always, and she'd never take off Tom's necklace. If she ever needed to feel she wasn't orphaned by her past, she'd never have to go far to remind herself she had a family now. People who'd give her what her father never had. People who loved her without asking anything in return. People who'd helped her through the worst, who knew everything and still loved her.

 Ellie cried for a long time. So long that Matthew came into the room, worried about his girlfriend. When he saw the three of them together, he made to leave the room again, but Tom stopped him. "Take her with you, Matthew. Give her time to process what we've told her. You're the one who's taking the most care of her now. This is a very important moment for her, and I think you should share it with her. Ruth and I are going to go for a walk along the beach. We'll be back later."

 Matthew nodded, still not understanding what was going on, but he carried Ellie to their bedroom nonetheless.

 Ruth got up and wiped a tear from her eye. "I had no idea this meant so much to her."

 Tom held his hand out to her. "Me neither, but I'm glad she asked. It feels right to me. You?"

 "The same."

 "Come, let's go for that walk. I'm still processing I've got a kid now, and some fresh air would do me wonders."

 Ruth chuckled and said, "It's not that bad. How am I supposed to explain to my parents I'm no longer an only child?"

 Tom shrugged and said, "I don't know. Just wing it, I guess?"

 Ruth gave him a shove and shook her head. "Don't start it with the dad jokes, Tom. Keep that for when we have a baby."

 His eyebrow rose up. "You want to have a baby?"

 "Yes."

 He took her hand in his. "More reason to have that walk then. Come, little girl."

 ***

 Ellie lay with a thick fleece blanket pulled up all the way to the tip of her nose. Matt's thigh was her cushion. They sat outside, warmed by a cozy fire. With her eyes closed, Ellie could hear the snaps and pops of the wet twigs she'd gathered. Tom had smiled at her when she showed up with her haul before pointing out the solid blocks of wood he'd found. It had been a small thing, but she wouldn't forget that smile. It wasn't the one he showed Ruth or anyone else for that matter. It was her smile. Her little reward if she did something right. Or something amusing.

 She took the little bamboo shaped whistle he'd bought for her and let the ridges slip through her fingers, one by one. It put her at ease, like he'd always keep her safe.

 Why? How had she been so lucky to find so many people who cared about her? After all that happened and after all she'd told him, Tom was still here. He was sitting right on the other side of the fire, holding Ruth. He'd scolded her. He'd worried about her. He'd checked up on her. He'd brought wonderful Ruth into her life. 

 And there were others. Amazing people. She knew they had their own ideas about her, but none of them ever said a wrong word. They'd treated her like what she was, a girl. And they'd supported her as she struggled to trust Matt. She knew Tom had talked to her lover many times, and Matt had no trouble asking Tom and Ruth for advice now.

 Right now, she spent time on hobbies and studying because she wanted to. She could choose not to do something. If she tried something, then people cared if she did well or not. Her father hadn't cared, neither had he given her a choice. She didn't see him when he didn't need her. Either he wanted her for sex or he wanted to be soothed by the idea she was doing what her mother had always done. He hadn't cared. Ellie clenched her fist around her whistle. No more.

 How long had she been thinking? She didn't know. It didn't matter. Matt would let her have her silence for as long as she wanted to. Until she fell asleep, then he'd pick her up and tuck her in so she'd have a good rest. 

 She'd never forget the nights they spent in this blessed beach house. Another place that held fond memories for her. Matt was another man who'd proven himself to be kind and good to her. Tom and Ruth. The apartment. Family and a home. That's what she wanted. The only thing she'd ever wanted. 

 Her eyes flicked open, and she saw Tom staring into the flames, lost in thought. Ruth was sleeping against his chest, tucked away under a blanket. He had a blade of dry grass in the corner of his mouth. Ellie smiled and pointed at it. His brown eyes searched for hers and one eyebrow rose in question. 

 "It looked silly."

 "So?"

 "And I'm a little tired."

 "You want to go to bed?"

 Ellie nodded and got up. She turned around and asked Matthew, "You want to go sleep too?"

 "Sure."

 Before the two of them headed for the back door, Ellie turned back and said, "Tom, will you tuck me in tonight?"

 He smiled the smile he kept for her and said, "If you want me to, then of course I will. I'll put Ruth in bed first though."

 Matthew frowned and looked from one to the other, but he didn't say anything. He'd learned long ago that the relationship between his girlfriend and Tom and Ruth was special. And now they'd made it official.

 ***

 Ellie's breaths were even and calm as she waited for her father to be led into the meeting area. No fear. Anger still, but she had it under control. Her face wasn't marred by a frown or a sneer. She was a vision of calm. Her eyes didn't see the tables and chairs surrounding her. She ignored the awkward reunions happening around her. Her thoughts were with the brother she'd lost. From time to time a memory of her father would intrude, and she'd let it play its course. The pain that had lodged itself in her heart still reared its head, but it didn't snap and snarl like it used to.

 That was how her father faced his daughter for the first time in over two years. Her hands folded together, and her unevenly colored eyes searching for his. He didn't know what to say and couldn't meet her gaze. They sat in silence for some time. He twitched while she did nothing. Was this really his daughter? "Hi... Hi, Elizabeth. I didn't think you'd come to visit."

 "Not Elizabeth, father. I go by Ellie now. And this isn't really a visit. I won't come back after this." Ellie bent down to reach in her purse and slid a letter towards her father. "Take a look inside."

 He fumbled with the envelope. None of this felt right. Inside the envelope there was nothing he wanted to see. A letter confirming her full emancipation. A letter confirming her full scholarship to go to university and study... "Computer sciences? I thought you were going to do what your mother did."

 Ellie shook her head and said, "No. That's what you told me to do. It was never what I wanted. Still, I couldn't have made this choice if it wasn't for you. I'm not the smartest, and I know it. You never let me do anything, and I had to do something with all that time, so I studied. It's all I knew, father. And it's what I've kept doing. My studies are paid for. I live on my own as an independent young woman who lost her old family. An orphan. I have a lover now. A new family that cares about me. I don't need you anymore."

 She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "If there's any part of you that feels sorry for what you did to me and Jeff, then there's one thing I want you to do. It's the only thing you can do for me. Find help so when you get out of here you don't destroy anybody else like you destroyed your family. Mom, Jeff, me. Forgot you ever knew us and start over. Never try to find me. Just get better and try to make up for what you've done."




Calm Ch. 07



Ellie stood up and took the documents from his hands. She had to tug on them hard to pull them from his grasp. With all the patience in the world she straightened out the crumpled parts and folded them back together so she could fit them in the envelope. Her hands trembled, but only a little. Her father sat staring up at her with tears running down his cheeks. He reached for her arm, but held back just before touching her. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. In here, all I can do is think. I think it's really healing me."

 Ellie turned around. "No! Wait! Just let me talk! You don't have to go. You're all I have. I'm sorry. I'll say it a thousand times. I should've never touched a hair on your head. You're my little girl. I was just so confused. I never wanted to..."

 His strength left him by the time Ellie turned back to him. The look in her eyes was hard and unforgiving. A vengeful goddess stood in the shoes his daughter wore. "Don't talk to me about guilt. I know all about your guilt. I've heard every excuse you could come up with. Never stopped you, did it? I'm not your daughter anymore. Why do you think that is? Do you think what you did is what the little girl you hurt wanted? It's not, but that doesn't matter now. 

 "You've done things that can't be forgiven. I'll have nightmares about you till the day I die. You're still hurting me in my sleep. I can't be normal because of you. So don't you talk to me about forgiveness! I don't need to give you anything. I'm leaving now. Once I've gone through those doors, it's the last you'll ever see of me."

 Without another word, Ellie turned on her heels and walked away. She never saw her father crumble, crushed by her words. Instead, she walked out of the prison, out of his world, and into the sunshine and the wind that welcomed her outside. Her feet carried her off on a long walk with no clear destination. 

 Thoughts wouldn't come. Her mind was nothing but swirling emotions, too raw to put a name on them. One thing glowed bright and strong though, in the middle of the tumult. Pride. She'd taken the last step towards the start of her new life. Life as a made woman. A woman who proved there was a vast depth beneath her extraordinary exterior. The oldest struggle in her life would carry her forward.

 That first step also carried her to a sunny park. Birds sang their songs while the wind rustled the leaves hiding them. Ellie heard the laughter of children climbing up and jumping off the play racks in the huge sandbox. She let herself be led to an old wooden bench in the shade. The whole park stretched out before her. Children ran about while their mothers clumped together. Ellie couldn't keep her eyes off them. The smiles on their little faces filled her with joy.

 Jeff would've loved playing with them. He'd have volunteered to be the first to tag the others or to go and search for them. He was like that, always ready to do what others wouldn't. 

 Ellie leaned back and looked up at the sky with a smile on her face. "Well, Jeff, I just want to say I'm okay now. I've found a family. You would've loved them, and they'd have loved you. I'm sure of it. I'm safe and happy. But I miss you, Jeff. Every day. I think about you all the time. I dream about you. But I don't want to think about that right now. Right now, I'm going to play with some kids in a sandbox. I think it'll be fun."

 The end