6 comments/ 6959 views/ 7 favorites A&A Kinks 01: New Game By: Nezhul Acknowledgement. Thanks to my editor aisielynn, as well as everyone who commented on my previous story for giving me motivation. =) Prologue. [Scarecrow]: Okay, thanks everyone, raid over. See you again tomorrow. [Duke]: gg Erwynn went offline. [Timble]: Rexx, you are gonna enchant me the boots now. [Genesis]: I'm off to sleep =_= [Rexx]: Am I? =) [Timble]: Party. [Pyre]: anyone up for a quick dungeon run? [Alice]: Sure! [Timble]: ++, gimme a sec [Scarecrow]: Gotta find something to eat, and then I can. [Pyre]: afk 5 minutes then Genesis went offline. [Alice]: Crow, how much food can you put into yourself? You ate when we had a break. [Scarecrow]: I have room for more. [Timble]: Yea, this guy is voracious, believe me :D [Scarecrow]: I'M GONNA EAT ALL YOUR FOOD!! [Timble]: *runs for the hills in fear* [Alice]: Haha, if I didn't see your photo I'd think you are a fatty ;) [Timble]: Oh wait, you already ate all my food! I've nothing left for ya, so you can't scare me ;) [Scarecrow]: I'm sure I could find more... [Alice]: You guys live close by? [Timble]: Nah, he stayed at my place for a few weeks. [Scarecrow]: *munching* I just love to travel. [Scarecrow]: I'm always staying at someone's place, it's cheap and fun [Scarecrow]: I'm actually at Duke's now. [Timble]: Poor Duke... [Scarecrow]: Nah, it's ok. I bring in some entertainment into his lonely life, I guess. [Alice]: And eating up all his food? lol [Scarecrow]: Yup [Scarecrow]: So beware, I can eat all YOUR food one day too! >:[ Hmm... [Alice]: You may try. I have lots of tasty stuff :D [Scarecrow]: Careful, I may consider it a challenge. [Alice]: Challenge accepted! =^_^= [Pyre]: Ok, I'm back. ++ for dungeon [Timble]: +++ [Alice]: + [Scarecrow] whispers to you: Is that an invitation? [Scarecrow]: + Hmm... why not?... A&A Kinks. New G A M E. I finish the hairdo and stare at myself in the mirror. It's amazing what a few hairpins can do to a girl, really. Should I wear some makeup?... Nah, that's fine. Nature gave me everything I need, that's a fact. Even if I don't like my nose very much, but hey, who does? And while I'm young I may as well go for natural looks. Besides, I have shoulder length snow-white hair, my natural color, so my lips look red enough as they are. My name is Alice. And I have a terrible flaw about me: I'm a nerd. Yes, you heard that correct - I'm a total nerd. When I don't play computer games, I read fantasy books, and when I don't do that, I am having a walk, cooking, eating or sleeping. There are days when I don't take my pajamas off, and there are days when I'm not wearing even that. Well, now I'll have to pay attention to what I wear for a few weeks, and that may actually not be a bad thing. Today, Scarecrow arrives. Of course it's not his real name! It's a nickname from an MMO we are playing together. We are in the same guild, where he's a raid leader and I'm the main "tank". And before you think that girls can't play videogames, try to beat me at anything. I don't want to brag, but I have the third highest PVP rank in our guild, and when I'm not tanking, I'm in the top 5 DPS spots, so yea, I can play. And that's not any surprise, because I play games a lot. There are a bunch of people who do, and Scarecrow is one of those guys too. We can play fifteen hours straight, and then sleep for fifteen hours more, that's the kind of people we are. See, I told you, I'm a nerd! Just when I try to decide which skirt to wear, my cell phone starts to ring. It's him! 'Hey!' 'Alice? Hi! The plane has landed and I'm past the terminals. Where do I go now?' 'Um... There should be a guy near the exit holding a "Scarecrow" tablet.' I think I'm gonna wear a black mini. 'Scarecrow?' His voice falls, and I wait a few seconds before I laugh. 'Relax, the tablet is with your real name,' I giggle, 'Just screwing with you. Alex Rends, right?' 'Oh... Good... Knowing you, I could expect anything, ha-ha!' 'Ha-ha!' Should I go for a blouse or a T-shirt?... 'Ok, I can see him. Alice, aren't those guys expensive?' 'It's fine, I have money for that.' A white blouse with a stylish necktie?... No, I guess it's too much. 'Oh... Okay then.' 'Can't wait to have you here!' 'I can't wait either. Actually, I'm excited to see you, at last.' 'Still sore about me not giving you a photo? Relax, you'll like me, I told you. I'm not fat or ugly or anything.' I hope he likes me... T-shirt will be too simple though. 'See you soon then!' 'See ya. Bye,' I hang up the phone. It's not that I care... But every girl wants to be liked, right? Right... Come to think of it, I have a few nice colorful shirts, but they go better with jeans. Should I wear jeans, then? Argh!! In the end, I'm wearing a white cotton camisole, low-rise skinny white jeans that flatter my hips (I couldn't resist), and a narrow tawny belt that I put on mainly for looks. Jeans also allow me not to wear heels. Normally I go around the house bare-footed, but today, for the first impression, I wear simple flat sandals that match the belt. I considered heels, because I'm quite short, but decided for a simpler, more domestic look. On top of the camisole, I have a loose canary yellow shirt with sleeves rolled up to my elbows. The white colors match my hair, and the yellow and brown brings in some color and match my light amber eyes. People are always telling me that I have rare looks. Before, I used to hear the words "strange", "weird" and "odd" much more often. Imagine a slim, petite girl with snow-white hair and amber, yellowish eyes on her long, pale face? Some freckles in the summer too. The difference, I found out, is clothes - if I pick them out correctly, "strange" suddenly becomes "rare" instead. For jewelry I went with the minimal approach. I have tiny earrings and a very small necklace on a golden chain. I don't like rings, so I didn't wear any. I'm putting on a small golden chain bracelet just as the intercom signals the arrival of Scarecrow. 'Miss, your guest has arrived,' - says the driver, apparently, as I answer the intercom. 'Good. Help him up with his luggage, will you?' 'Of course.' I sneak a quick glance in the hallway mirror to check if everything is in order, and don't find anything to complain about. I still fix my hair a bit, mostly out of nervousness than because it needs any more attention. I'm ready. Am I? I kind of start to panic a bit, because I had never before lived with a guy under the same roof. And Scarecrow is here for a few weeks at least. Wow. What did I get myself into, really? I open the door just as my visitors climb the last flight of the stairs. I live in a five-storey building, and we don't have an elevator here. No need for it, really. And my apartment takes the top two floors, so it's only a short climb. 'Alice! Hi! Wow...' He looks stunned as he sees me, and I can't help myself but smile with glee. Looks like my efforts were not in vain. 'Where should I put the luggage?' asks the driver. He's carrying two large suitcases, and I notice now that Scarecrow is carrying two cardboard boxes himself. That must be his PC and a monitor. 'Oh, just over here,' I step back to let them in and point to some free space beside the door, 'We'll deal with it later.' 'Good day, Miss,' the driver says, and in a few seconds we are alone. Scarecrow is standing in the middle of my hallway with quite a lost expression, looking around. Not something I'd expect from a guy who is travelling a lot, but then again, my house is not something commonly found through the country. I should have probably said already, that I'm rich. I'm so rich, in fact, that I can't spend money as fast as my bank account grows. That's what allows me not to have a job and play video games all day long. And with my money, I bought myself a home of my dreams. As I said, it's a two-story apartment, and even though it may not be considered very big by millionaire's standards, it still has 12 rooms and occupies a good third of the length of the building. I could probably buy a bigger one, or even build a personal mansion, but I don't want to. This is pretty much the largest size of house I can still feel comfortable in. I'm a loner, and if my home got any bigger, I wouldn't know what to fill it with; it would be too large and too empty for one small Alice. Speaking of my guest, himself, I should admit his photos don't do him justice. Guys rarely post good photographs, I notice. I know he is two years older than me, but he looks damn young in his black hoody and khaki pants, with a backpack across his shoulder. He's not super tall, but I am still more than a head shorter than him, especially now that I am wearing flats. I'm really a very small girl, but I never had any issues with this. It's all right for a woman to be smaller than men is my reasoning. And at least I'm large enough in all the important areas. That's why, even if I may be slim and short, no one can say I'm flat as well. 'So, what do you think?' I prompt him, when the pause stretches. 'I think that I asked a rather stupid question when inquired if you had enough space in your flat.' 'Yea... That was kinda funny though.' 'You didn't lie.' 'Yes, I told you it was spacious here.' 'I was talking about when you said you are pretty.' 'Oh...' I blush and smile stupidly. 'That's a nice smell too,' he sniffs the air. 'Scarecrow! Are you all about food?!' I giggle, finding a refuge in the topic. 'I meant your perfume...' Nope. No refuge was found here. I turn scarlet red now. 'But the food smells good too,' he smiles to lighten the mood, obviously catching up on my uneasiness, 'Do you cook?' 'Yes,' I squeak, walking past him to hide my face, 'Do you wanna eat or should I show you the apartment first?' 'Oh, I'm famished.' 'Ever-hungry Crow starting to gobble all my food! Should I call for help?' 'Possibly,' He laughs as he takes his shoes off, 'But I'm already here, so no one will help you!' 'Well then, follow me. I hope you like lasagna, because that's what I got.' 'I LOVE lasagna.' The way he pronounces it makes me laugh. I'm still very shy though, I'm not used to meeting new people, and Alex seems just a little bit too energetic for me. And I will have him here for some time. Eating my food. I smile. 'Wow, you really have a huge place here,' he admires, as we walk through the living room. Well, the name "living hall" would be more appropriate. To start with, it takes up both stores of my apartment, so it's an extra high glass ceiling that you can see the sky through. The far wall is a giant window, and there is a balcony behind it. 'I know. It was designed just for me. Other apartments in this building are smaller.' 'How much money did it cost you?' 'Oh, I don't know. Lots,' I wave it off. I don't like to talk about money. Finally we arrive at the kitchen that's situated at one end of the living room. There's no wall separating them, so basically it's just a cooking and dining area, but the ceilings here are lower, because there are rooms above us. 'You seem to like white a lot,' Alex notices. Indeed, the walls and floors are white, some of the furniture too. 'I don't know, it just happened that way,' I explain, 'I like it when it's bright and well-lit.' 'I see.' 'Sit,' I direct him to the dining table, 'Do you need a drink?' 'Why? What do you have?' he asks. It suddenly dawns on me that it sounded like I'm offering him alcohol. 'Oh... I mean... I have a bar over there,' I stutter, 'But it's almost empty. I don't drink.' 'That's very good of you,' he commends me, and I feel a bit like a child, 'I drink mostly beers myself, and not very often.' 'I could give you wine,' I hazard, feeling rather stupid. I have wine. For cooking. 'And what will you drink?' he asks, still looking around a lot. I notice he's having a hard time looking at me, and he shifts his eyes whenever I turn to face him. Is something wrong? I hope nothing's wrong. I'm not used to having guests. 'I drink juices, mostly. And with lasagna, I'll have milk.' 'Milk?' Alex asks flatly. 'Yea, why not?' I feel defensive all of a sudden, 'I like milk!' 'No, no! Nothing's wrong,' he smiles, 'Then I'll try milk too.' 'I still have juice,' I tell him in case he's being too shy, but I guess it's not really his style. 'No, I'll have milk. Damn, that smells delicious,' he adds as I put a big tray of lasagna in the middle of the table. 'I did my best,' I mumble, just because I don't know how to react. 'I can already tell it's good. Didn't think rich people cook.' 'Weeell, you know. I could survive on take-outs, but I like to cook for myself. Just as I like it.' 'I can totally understand that,' He smiles. Damn, I like his smile. It somehow makes me grin too, 'I'll cook tomorrow then.' 'You can cook too?' I'm genuinely impressed. I thought guys don't usually do anything harder than a sandwich. 'Yup, I can make anything from scrambled eggs to cakes and soups. What would you like?' 'Hmm... I was about to roast a chicken...' I tell him, taking his plate and depositing a generous piece of lasagna on it, 'Need something else?' 'No, I'm good, thank you. Roasted chicken it is, then. I spy a great oven over there.' 'Great!' I catch myself, realizing that I'm really looking forward to seeing him cook, 'Well, let's dig in then.' The lasagna turned out to be good. I'm so glad I didn't make some stupid mistake like putting too much salt or letting it get burned. That would have been a disaster, and I cringe even just thinking about it. But, again, to my luck it was edible. We even ate seconds. 'I must admit, that's the first time I see a slim girl like you eat as much as me,' Alex says, when I put another large piece on my plate, 'Normally, it's all about diets and calories.' 'I don't know, I'm lucky, I guess. Never had to do diets and I eat whatever I like.' 'I know many people who could sell their soul to say that,' he remarks, 'But I'm the same. I eat a lot, and all my friends just wonder how am I not getting fat.' 'Oh I know what you are talking about. It was a struggle for me to gain weight though.' 'What? Why did you have to?' 'Yea, I was way too bony a few years back.' There is a long silence, but it's not awkward because we have lasagna to busy our mouths with. As we eat, I sneak a few glances at Scarecrow. He's very much not like I imagined him. To start with, he seems very composed, he sits straight and he eats very accurately. Guys I used to know tended to hunch up, and then their plate became a mess. 'So, you don't work.' he states a fact. 'How did you guess?' I laugh, because it's a natural conclusion about someone like me, who's online for 10 hours per day. 'And what are your parents doing?' he inquires. I stop laughing. Now, how do I put it? This tends to unnerve people, but I guess I should tell him the truth. 'I have no parents. I grew up in an orphanage.' 'Oh...' he says, 'I'm sorry.' 'Don't be. It's okay.' 'So all of this... your own achievement?' he waves around in awe, indicating the luxury we are surrounded by. Here we go. A story of Alice, thrilling and uncensored. 'If you think I earned it through hard work or talent, then no, I didn't. I got lucky.' 'That had to be pretty damn lucky,' he says seriously. 'Yea.' 'Care to tell the story?' 'Why not?' I move the empty plate to the side and lean on the table, supporting my head with my hands, 'Well, as I said, I grew in an orphanage. No one wanted me, so I stayed there until I was 18, but then it was time to go.' 'That's a pretty sad story so far...' Alex says warily. 'Well, it was, actually. So I left an orphanage, found a job as a waitress, and was sharing a small flat with my friend, Toni. We grew up together, and she had just turned 18 as well, but we still had a hard time. There were times when we barely had enough for food, let alone good clothes and stuff. 'We got by like that for about a year. Now, Toni was always a sole of the company, always cheerful and laughing and moving and whatnot, unlike me, who was a loner, always stuck at home. So it's no wonder she found herself a nice guy and got married. When you are poor like we were, you don't think twice to get married to a good guy with his own place and a decent job. So she got married, and was supposed to move out. That would mean I have to move out of the apartment we shared as well, because I wouldn't be able to afford it.' 'Can't imagine you being poor,' says Alex, shaking his head, 'When all of this is around us.' 'Well, I'm starting to forget what it was like too,' I laugh, to lighten the mood, but my laugh is strained. 'So what happened next?' he prompts me. 'Yea. So I was pretty much at the end of the rope, dead ends everywhere, shitty mood, no idea what to do next. My money was scarce, but one night I did something rather stupid. I bought a lottery ticket.' 'Now I see...' 'An expensive one at that. I was depressed, I needed a vent, and I kinda just went for it. There was nothing to lose but some 20 bucks that I had in my pocket, and I went and bought it, even though it was money that could feed me for a week. And that stupid girl got stupidly lucky and won a jackpot.' 'Talk about miracles,' Alex laughs, 'I thought that kind of luck happen only in fairy tales.' 'But that's not all. You see, Toni's husband-to-be was into the stock exchange, and he helped me to invest my money. It was 2008, and we got lucky again and almost tripled my money in a matter of months. So I bought this place and decided I'm going to live to the fullest from now on. I've had enough work and enough poverty, so I just live and enjoy my life now.' 'Wow, that was one hell of a story,' Alex says, 'And with a happy ending too. I'm not sentimental, but I'm so glad for you.' 'I'm glad for myself,' I laugh, 'I mean, I earn more than I can spend now. Tom, that's Toni's husband, continues to play my money for a share of profits. Half of what's left is put back into investments, and half is transferred to another bank account that is my safety buffer. I never intend to be poor ever again.' 'Amazing, you really thought of everything. And I was just wondering how one of my guild mates landed up in a house like this,' Alex says, rubbing his chin, 'I must admit, at first I thought you were some kind of spoiled daughter of a rich family.' 'Not at all,' I shake my head, 'And what about you? How do you manage without a job?' 'Oh, I have some money in the bank and some property in the capitol that I rent. Basically, I live on rent, you know, and I often visit someone else which is cheaper than living on your own too. I even manage to save up some money.' A&A Kinks 01: New Game 'I know how that goes. After a certain point your money starts to grow all on its own.' 'That's right. Although I'm far behind you in that respect, I imagine,' he says, 'Can't dream to afford a flat like this.' 'Speaking about it, wanna tour?' 'Gladly,' Alex smiles, 'I'll help you wash the dishes first.' 'I just put them into the dishwasher over there,' I point, 'It's a good one.' Nevertheless, he helps me clean up, and with the two of us it takes but two minutes to tidy everything and deposit the remains of lasagna in the fridge. He is indeed very accurate, which is good. I'd hate it if he made a mess at my apartment. 'Crow, do you work out? You seem a bit sporty.' 'I'm slim, not sporty. But I do. I actually meant to ask you if there's a good gym nearby. Why?' 'Oh, it's just that there is one. Behind that door,' I point at the far end the living room, right across from the kitchen.' 'You have a private gym?' 'Yea. I'm kind of a homebody, so I don't like going out to work out, but at the same time I like staying fit. So I got one right here.' 'Wow...' 'Feel free to use it. Next, here's the first floor bathroom,' I open a door for a bit to show him a room decorated with chestnut-colored tiles and stone. 'This bathroom is bigger than living rooms of all the houses I used to stay in!' 'I know, right? It was pretty hard for me to get used to, after what I had for the first part of my life. But here's a big bath, a shower and whatnot. I use this one after gym.' 'There's another bathroom upstairs?' 'Yea, I'll show you later,' We leave my over-sized bathroom and I lead him next door, 'And here's my gaming room,' I turn on the lights. 'Whoa...' Alex breathes out. There's a huge plasma on the wall and a white couch in front of it. Under the plasma there's a set of gaming consoles placed in a row. A little bit further there are two large tables with PC's, put back to back so that players face each other. I never actually had someone to play here with me, but I'm looking forward to it. And along the back wall, between two big windows with heavy curtains, so they do not let any light in, I have a large bookcase with all my gaming disks. 'Consoles too?' Scarecrow asks, searching the titles. 'Yes. Over there.' 'I always wanted to play some of those...' 'You are welcome to.' The room is decorated with a large amount of trophies and figurines from collectable editions of the games I like. Alex looks like a kid in a large toy store, and, in some sense, he is right now. 'What are the specs on those?' He points at my PC's. 'This winter's top of the line.' 'What, like Titan's or something?' 'Nah. I buy them for gaming and it's better to have other video cards,' I explain, 'They are not as geeky as to cost tens of thousands of dollars, but they are enough to run any current generation game on Ultra. And Titan is mostly for video editing which I don't do often.' 'I see. You know your hardware.' 'I'm a nerd,' I say flatly, 'Of course I know it.' 'You don't look like a nerd.' 'Well, thank you,' I giggle, 'but I'm nerdier than you can imagine, really.' 'I can imagine a lot of things,' he laughs. 'I'll leave it to you then!' I smile, 'I have another PC in my room, and you can set up yours in your bedroom. But wanna raid from here today?' 'Sure. I just thought that I don't want to set up today. Frankly, I'm a bit tired.' 'Let me show you your room, then. Grab a part of the luggage; you'll need to take it upstairs anyway.' I lead him behind the kitchen to the stairs, as he carries his big suitcases in both hands, looking rather awkward. 'What?' he says, as he notices me smile. 'It's nothing,' I tell him. 'Man, that's a big house...' 'It is. But I like it.' 'You live here alone, right?' 'Right.' 'Don't you get lonely in such a big place?' 'Well, at first I did. But I got used to it, and now all of it is my place, where I know everything.' 'How do you clean all of this?' he wonders, as we ascend the stairs to the second floor, 'Apartment this big must take ages.' 'I don't.' 'But...' 'I have people come by twice a week to clean and do other maintenance,' I explain patiently. 'Oh...' 'There's a special agency,' I clarify. 'Yea, I should have figured that out myself.' We are at the second floor now, and it's basically a single hallway that stretches through the whole length of my apartment. The middle section of it is open at one side, and you can look down into the living room. Most doors are on the right of the walkway, but there are rooms above the kitchen and gym areas on the left side as well. 'Anyway, here's the library,' I point at an open wide doorway, 'But, really, it's also where I watch movies. I have a home theater. But I put all my books in here, when I read, that's why "the library".' 'Wow. And a piano,' he notices, looking around, 'So you do music too? A lot of talents for a small girl,' Alex laughs. 'Don't laugh, but I don't play.' 'Then why?...' 'Oh, it's just... See, I've had a picture in my mind when I furnished this room...' I mumble, blushing, because it really is rather stupid. 'And you saw a piano in this picture?' 'Aha.' 'Talk about spontaneous...' 'What?' 'No, nothing.' 'Right...' there's an awkward pause, 'Anyway, further along are bedrooms, I've got three in here.' 'Why?' 'Just in case someone stays in. I always wanted to have spare bedrooms. But they are rarely used. This one is mine,' I touch the first door as I pass by. I'm not going to invite him in, of course, 'And this one I prepped for you.' I open the door and show him in. 'That's the largest bedroom I've gotten to sleep in,' Alex admits, putting his suitcases beside the bed.' 'Do you like it?' 'It's good.' 'Here's the walk-in closet,' I open the door and show him a row of empty racks and shelves. 'A room for clothes?' 'Yea. All the bedrooms have those. And here's a chest of drawers for smaller stuff, and a table, where you can put your PC.' 'I was just thinking about that. Wow. Visiting you was a right decision.' 'I'm glad you like it.' 'And what are the other rooms on this floor?' he asks, as we leave the bedroom. 'Well, next to your bedroom is the third one, empty now. Just opposite of your room is the second floor bathroom. There, above the kitchen is my server room where all the house management electronics and whatnot are. And just between the stairs and the library there's my second walk-in closet, because I don't have enough space in my bedroom for all the clothes.' 'Wow, I knew girls love their clothes, but to have a dedicated room for them?' 'I used to always want for clothes and to have not more than two sets of them,' I explain rather annoyed, 'So yea, I like clothes, do you have a problem with that?' 'No, not at all!' he waves his hands defensively, 'And what's in that room?' I was ready for that question as he points to the room to the far left. 'Oh, nothing, it's a closet for unused stuff,' I wave dismissively, 'Now, should we go to the games room? Raid is in an hour.' 'Wow, it's so late already?!' He exclaims, checking his watch, 'Look, Alice, I better at least have a quick shower and change, if you don't mind.' 'Oh. Yea, sure. Go ahead. If you need something just call me. Clean towels are in the closet in the bathroom.' 'Thanks. See you in a bit then.' 'Ok guys, thanks and see you again tomorrow. Raid over,' Alex says and takes the headset off, 'Man, that new content is tough,' he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Yea. I still think we need to tank the Twins together to get more cleave damage.' 'You think? They get a bit crazy when they are close by.' 'We can handle that, there's not much going on anyway, it's a DPS race.' 'Maybe... Timble wants a dungeon.' 'I pass,' I exhale, 'It was a long enough day already, and I don't need anything there.' 'I'll pass too then. Dead tired after the trip, gonna have an early night, I think.' It's 3 AM here on the east coast. Yes, it's called an early night, apparently. I know, some days we play until sun goes up, but today I don't feel like it. I'm not used to guests, I guess. 'Still, these PC's are something else,' Crow shakes his head, 'I never raided on Ultra settings before, I have to tune graphics down a bit to have a good FPS in the raid, and my computer is not that bad.' 'I assembled them just for that purpose,' I shrug. 'Well...' Alex yawns deeply, and seeing that I start to yawn myself, 'I'm off to bed then. Good night, Alice.' 'Good night. I'll just check the forums before going too.' In the end, it takes me a good 40 minutes to finally decide it's time to go to bed. As I take my clothes off, I keep staring at the wall, behind which Alex is probably sleeping already. I'm not paranoid, but it feels strange to be naked just a few meters away from a guy I met only this evening. Sometimes I sleep naked, especially in the summer when it's hot, but I don't feel like it at all today. It's the end of May, and already too warm to wear a pajamas suit, which would bring me most comfort, that's why I quickly put on some soft cotton panties and a light silk nightgown, turn the lights off and crawl into bed. To my surprise, I have no trouble falling asleep. I should say that I generally have no sleep problems, but today I expected to be a little bit more agitated. It's waking up I have real troubles with, which takes me up to half an hour to just crawl out of the bed in the morning. Probably that's why, when nature calls me in the middle of the night, I stalk out of my room absent-mindedly, and venture in the direction of the bathroom in an autopilot mode, only to have the bathroom door open before me, out of its own accord. Dumbfounded, I glance upwards to see Alex's surprised expression, as he stares at me open-mouthed. Oh, damn! My hair stands on my head as I realize that I'm wearing only the light silken nightgown now, one of its spaghetti straps fallen off my shoulder, and I'm instantly awake. There's nowhere to run, no corners to hide behind. A mere second stretches for, it seems, an eternity, and then my hands shoot up to cover my chest. As if on cue, Alex snaps out of his stunned state, turning his back on me. 'Sorry, sorry!' he exclaims, face palming. He wears pajamas bottoms but he's topless otherwise, which is okay, I think, 'I didn't mean to... I mean...' he stutters. 'It's okay, it's my fault,' I find courage to say, although right now I just want to run to my bedroom and hide under the blanket in shame. 'I... Look, I'll go now...' he mumbles, shuffling from the bathroom, careful to stay with his back at me. Damn it! How stupid! I was too sleepy, I totally forgot there's a guy in my apartment! 'Sorry, Alex, I totally forgot...' 'No, no... No problem,' he says, and I dash past him into the bathroom to close the door behind me, with my back to it. 'Sorry, Alice.' I hear him say, and then I hear him stalk away. I just want to die right now. How much did he see? How much could he see? I inspect myself in the mirror. My nipples are visible through the fine silk. Shit. My neck and cleavage are totally exposed too. Dammit, shit. And the gown is barely long enough to cover my panties, so the full length of my legs is bare. Oh, earth, swallow me! But I sneaked a peek too, and I must admit Alex is not half bad. I wouldn't call him muscular, but he's fit. He obviously works out, and his back looks strong... What am I thinking about?! I cover my face with my hands as another wave of recollection hits me. That was, by far, the most embarrassing experience in my life. And what's worse, I got turned on by it. Before exiting the bathroom, I open the door ever so slightly and scan the length on the corridor. It's dark and empty. Right. I didn't expect him to hang around, but I still trot fast to the safety of my bedroom. I will have to be more careful from now on. Come to think of it, I'll have to get used to locking the bathroom behind me too. Imagine him walking in when I take a shower?! I will die there and then, if such a thing happens. I lock my bedroom door behind me too. Somehow, I managed to get asleep after what happened, although the rest of the night I toss and turn in my bed. Every time I remember what just happened, I kick myself mentally and swear quietly. As I finally wake up, it's only 11:30. An early morning for me, but I find I can't sleep any longer. As I open my room's door, I quickly glance left and right. Clear. I'm wrapped in my white terry bathrobe, but I still feel uncomfortable going around like this, so I walk quickly to the bathroom. Seriously, how am I planning to live on like this for an extended period of time? I can't hope to escape Alex every time. When I enter the bathroom, the air is still hot and steamy, and smells heavily of men's body wash, but, thankfully, no sign of Alex's presence could be found. I call quietly to double-check, but in return, hear only silence. It looks like he has had a shower a short while ago, because the walls and the floor in the open shower compartment are still wet. That was close, I shudder internally when I think of bumping into him again. I wouldn't survive another sudden bathroom meeting for sure. Locking the door behind me, I proceed to the washbasin to brush my teeth. As I do so, I spy a glass with a toothbrush, a shaver, and some bottles of shaving foam and aftershave nearby. Well, I definitely have a guy in my apartment. It's a strange feeling, having things that I didn't put there casually lined up near my own. I mean, of course it's a given that he has to use something, but the picture just never crossed my mind until I saw it. When I'm done, I undress quickly and go to have a shower. Here, on the shelf, I find bottles of shampoo and body wash, as well as his green rectangular sponge, placed, just the same, very casually right next to my own. I wonder... this sponge must have been everywhere across his body, right?... I bite my lip and entertain the idea for a bit, fighting with myself, but I can't help it. Feeling very bad about it, I grab his sponge and sniff it. Smells of body wash - I think it is arctic cool aroma - and nothing else. But I still can't help but feel a tiny bit of satisfaction about what I just did, mixed with a large bit of shame and embarrassment. I'm such a bad girl sometimes... I quickly put the sponge back, exactly as it was before, grab my own and turn on the shower to get over this episode. I spurt some of my own body wash, that smells sweetly of peaches, and start to wash myself, when another thought hits me. Suppose he'd do the same with my sponge? I know for definite that it has been everywhere - in fact, it is being renewed at visiting my everywhere right now. Suppose he'd take a sick interest in my sponge too? I'm so distracted right now, that I notice I'm rubbing my left arm for way too long already, and shake my head to get rid of my nasty thoughts. Even if he did, it'd smell of peaches, right? Right?!... I end up actually thinking about taking my sponge back to my room with me, but miraculously, I resist. That'd be just way over the top stupid of me to do. I'm simply unnerved by last night's incident. I flush again as I remember. Sheesh, get a hold of yourself, Alice! We are both adults. Adults do not develop an unnatural fascination with each other's washing implements. What I did was just my dirty mind playing tricks on me. I mean, I can't expect a level-headed guy like him to really do something like that... That level-headed guy jumped in lava during the boss fight yesterday for lolz, my subconscious supplies treacherously. Oh, my... Still feeling conflicted about all of the sponge business, I get out of the shower, dry myself and my hair to emerge out of the bathroom some twenty minutes later. I cross the corridor hastily, as if it was some battlefield, and flee to the safety of my room. When I finally go downstairs, I find Alex in the kitchen, cooking. 'H-Hello,' I mumble quietly. 'Hi.' There's a heavy silence. Finally, he clears his throat and remarks: 'You look good today.' 'Thanks,' my voice is small. I went for a black T-shirt and shorts, my hair is gathered at the back of my head and held by a hairclip. Silence stretches again. It's unbearable. 'Look, about what happened...' I start. 'Nothing happened, okay?' he interrupts me, 'Nothing. And to tell you the truth, I didn't see anything important. Are you all right?' 'Yes, thanks.' "Anything important". Gee, I'm gonna die. 'Hey, how do you like your eggs?' he says lightly, closing the topic and moving onto something else. 'Scrambled with some milk,' I sit at the table because he seems busy cooking. 'Toasts?' 'Yes, please. And there's some ham in the fridge,' I'm grateful for the food talk. 'Roger that.' 'By the way, closed beta of "GOE" starts today, wanna check it out?' I tell him. I am up for any topic, just so there's no silence. 'You have the keys?' 'Yea, I've got three, actually.' 'Whom will you give the third to?' 'I don't know, I thought maybe just drop it on our guild forum.' 'Give it to Pyre, he was all over that game.' 'Really? I'm not that hyped,' I smile, watching Scarecrow cooking the eggs. He really is used to the kitchen, I can see that clearly now. 'Tastes differ,' he shrugs, 'But I wasn't hyped about Ravencrown either, and look at us play it now.' 'True,' I agree, 'It had a really bad marketing campaign.' 'Here's your breakfast, Miss,' Alex says mockingly, putting a plate in front of me. 'Why, thank you, Sir,' I smile. Damn, that phrase just rolls off the tongue. I enjoy my private joke as I eat. And so, the night's fiasco seems to be left in the dark past. The rest of the day is very calm, and I relax again. We play the closed beta, and both agree that it's too raw to make any real assumptions. Then, Alex begins his exploration of ever-engulfing waters of console gaming, starting with the "God of War" series. As for me, I just surf the net, laughing as he makes witty commentary out of his play through. It's a sunny day, and the weather outside is perfect, so we open the windows to let in some fresh air and listen to the singing of the birds. At about 4 PM Scarecrow reluctantly puts aside the gamepad and walks off. At first, I think that he went to the bathroom, but time goes by and he doesn't return, so I stand up from my PC and venture to find him. I'm tired of farming weeds for raid potions anyway. 'Alex?' I call loudly. The bad part about having a large apartment is that you can't find a person easily. 'Over here,' he's in the kitchen. 'What are you?... Whoa!' 'You asked for chicken, you are getting one,' he smiles, finishing covering the bird in spices. I must admit, it looks tasty already. And what's more, he seems very professional about it. With a stab of envy, I note that I can't keep the working area as clean when I cook something complicated. 'Looks delicious,' I commend him. 'Wanna eat it raw?' 'Ha-ha, nah, I can wait.' 'Don't you say later that I didn't offer!' he smiles, putting the chicken in the oven tray, and I see that already there is a mix of vegetables on the bottom of it. 'So you are a chef today?' I smile, sitting at the other end of the kitchen island to keep him company. 'Seems so.' 'I'll cook tomorrow then,' I tell him. I don't want to be a bad host after all. A&A Kinks 01: New Game 'Deal.' 'Hey, do you need some help?' 'Nah, not really. All that's left is a salad, but I'll make it when the chicken is almost done,' he says, depositing a heavy tray in the oven. 'Where did you learn to cook?' 'Oh, you know... Me and mom lived alone, my father left us, and she worked until evening. So I had to learn how to provide for myself,' he says, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel, 'I remember my first meatballs were something awful though.' 'Ha-ha,' I laugh, 'I started with porridge, and I wouldn't eat that porridge now!' 'Mom still loved those,' he says absent-mindedly, spying something in the fridge. 'Oh, I didn't mean to... It must be nice to have a real family.' 'Yea, good times,' Alex nods, 'Don't worry, you'll have your own family someday,' he smiles, and I flush. 'Yea... so where's she now? Your mom?' 'She died a few years back.' 'Oh...' Damn! 'I'm sorry...' 'Don't be, I'm over it already. So, what salad do you prefer?' 'Chef's choice,' I wave my hands laughing. It's good to be back at the safe grounds, this family talk unnerves me a little bit, truth be told. 'Tomatoes, then,' he decides. 'So, what would you like tomorrow?' I ask, stealing one of cherry tomatoes and popping it into my mouth. 'Surprise me.' 'No, that's not gonna work! I asked for chicken and you made chicken. I want you to name something specific too!' 'Hmm. Something with mushrooms, then? I like mushrooms.' 'You do?' 'One of my all-time favorites.' 'Me too. We used to never have them in the orphanage.' 'Must have been tough, huh?' Alex says sympathetically. 'It got a lot tougher after I left it.' 'Sorry.' 'But now I'm all good,' I smile, 'So everything kind of evens out for me, I guess...' 'Did you ever get any education after school, Alice?' he asks, matter-of-factly. 'No. I wanted to, but I had neither money nor grades for it.' 'I learned to be an electronics engineer,' he says. 'Really?' 'Only college though. Never got around to do university.' 'So you can build stuff?' 'I seriously doubt it,' he laughs. 'And which profession did you want to go into?' 'Oh, well, I thought of software development or something.' 'Computers, huh?' 'That's my passion,' I smile. 'Seriously? Wow, I couldn't see that coming,' Alex laughs again. He has such a great carefree laugh, I notice. He's easy to be with, easy to talk to, and I'm the person who always used to be tight-lipped around other people. Perhaps, it has something to do with the MMO we are playing? It's much easier for me to communicate on the net than in real life, and Scarecrow... well, I've known him for almost half a year now, and I find it easy to talk to him offline because of that. 'Oh, by the way, tomorrow is cleaning day.' 'And by that you mean?...' he prompts. 'Guys from the agency will come by and do some cleaning. I just try to stay out of their way, really. Although technically they are staying out of mine.' 'I see.' 'So if they start to clean in the room you are in, just go find something else to do, okay? Let them do their job.' 'Roger.' 'And, Alex?...' 'Yes?' 'Do you have something... Erm... In your room, do you have something you wouldn't want to be found by strangers?' 'Hmm?' 'Just pack it up in your suitcase, if you do. Nobody's gonna go through your stuff.' 'I see. So the guys clean up your room too?' 'There's a girl who does it, yes. She does laundry too, so drop whatever you have in a basket.' 'Alice, really, I can do my own laundry, if that's all the same to you,' he smiles uneasily. 'Oh. Sure, I'll show you where the washing machine is,' I say, and shift the topic to more pleasurable one, 'Mmm, smells delicious!' 'Sure you didn't want it raw? Because we can still take it out...' 'Alex!' 'I mean, you had such a hungry look...' 'Crow!!' 'What? I'm just saying!' he laughs, and I laugh as well. It's a nice, warm evening outside, and the living room is filled with yellowy rays of a setting sun. The next day is full of little disturbances, but when I think of it, there's nothing really to tell. At about noon, pretty much just as soon as I woke up, the cleaning team comes. Their names are Mike, Mary and Steve, and all three of them are middle-aged people with no-nonsense attitudes. I both like them and hate them a little bit. They are polite and they really do their job fast and professionally, but at the same time they are tight-lipped and a bit too formal, even to a point of being cold. I would prefer them a little more human, but I guess it's the company's policy, so I still try to avoid them. Scarecrow ended up doing his laundry himself, which I think is a waste of time, given that I have a special girl to do it, but I leave it up to him. I guess he's just not used to a stranger going through his dirty clothes. It took some time for me too, but in the end I gave up and just drop everything in a single basket that empties itself twice a week, as if by miracle, in exchange for clean clothes. That's the way to think about it. The thing that troubles me a little bit, is that I'm getting into Alex a little bit more than I planned. I'm honest with myself, and yes - I think I like him. What is there not to like? He's good-looking, fun and very open. I guess it has something to do with how many people he meets. We play mostly in my gaming room, so I'm around him pretty much all day long, but I find that it doesn't tire me at all. There are a few downsides to him being around though. First of all, I'm still being shy about going to the shower in the morning. Each trip is like a stealth wartime operation for me, and I'm not used to sneaking around my own house. The second thing is: I'm getting needy. Horny. I'm used to getting off a few times a week, but I can't just go ahead and masturbate while he is around! And just like me, he seems to almost never get out of the house. Suppose he hears me? That is unacceptable; this thought alone makes my mouth dry. I thought about doing it in the shower, but I still didn't. I just can't, knowing that he can be passing by the door at any moment. I mean, his room is right next to the bathroom, and the other bathroom is right beside the games room, so these are two places where he frequents. Not that I can't handle it - of course I can, easily. It's just that sexy thoughts crawl into my mind more often these days, and I tend to sneak little peaks at Alex, when he's not looking, exploring him. I notice that he does the same thing about me, but I don't mind. It flatters me, really. That means I look good, in other words, exactly the way I want to be. Other than that, we have fallen into a kind of routine. We play games, stay up late, and then sleep late too. We do what we do, that's how our lives are. Some may say that this is wasting the time, but I, personally, think that life's purpose is to enjoy it. I couldn't care less if I don't do anything meaningful, or if I don't leave some kind of legacy in this world. I'm me, and what I do best is gaming, after all. So why not? We started an unspoken culinary contest too. We take turns cooking, and it seems that dishes become more and more showy. They definitely are on my part, because I don't want to lose to him in cooking, in other words, what's supposed to be a historically feminine occupation. Then, on Tuesday morning I wake up and check the clock to see it's 9 AM. Damn, I barely slept 4 hours today! I turn on another side, determined to get some more rest, but I can't. I'm anxious, I'm thinking about all kinds of stuff, and my pussy is wet as hell. I've had a very nice and sexy dream just now too, and I can't get it out of my head. After tossing and turning for fifteen minutes I'm wide awake, so I give up and crawl out of my bed. Damn. This can't go on like this. What I need is a good vent for my energy. Should I take a stroll around the park? I look outside to see that it rained all night, and the weather seems cold and unwelcome, heavy low clouds cover the sky like a large grey blanket. It's the gym for me then. And that's probably better anyway, because I know just the thing to do. I dress up quickly, and fifteen minutes later I enter my gym. I'll need a shower afterwards anyway, so I skip that part. It's a large room, probably the largest in my house, and almost as large as the gym we had in high school. It's divided into two equal zones. The first is occupied by numerous training apparatus, racks with dumbbells and other training implements that I normally use every day. I stroll right past them. The other half of my gym is a large empty space. I walk up to multimedia center on a small stand and take the remote control. Pushing a few cords I start up the music at loud, then after a few accords of Madonna's "Die another day", I dance my way to the center of the empty space. Dancing is my passion. I mostly do it as a workout, because I don't go clubbing, but I can really move when I want to. Spin, sidestep, arms in the air... We had dancing lessons in school, but those were boring. Polka and Waltz are really not my thing. But as soon as I saw how people move on the dance floors in nightclubs, I instantly fell in love with it. Swing your body from side to side, move your hips... This is an energetic, passionate way to move. Channeling bare emotion into the dance. There are no hard-learned movement sequences, I just let my body follow the rhythm, and get lost in it. Step, step, move your hands across your body... This is a perfect way to vent. It's like the rest of the world stops existing, and there's only music. My body is moving almost on its own, it's the sound that controls me. My hair lashes my face as I move my head, but I don't care. Swing it, side step, move, spin!... Stagger!! I almost fall to the floor, stopping mid-spin abruptly in my high heels, as I see Alex standing in the doorway, staring at me open-mouthed. Damn! I flush scarlet red, like child being caught doing something nasty, and quickly backtrack my moves in my memory. Thank god I didn't do any low bends or something worse! Still, this is beyond embarrassing. How long was he standing there? The music is too loud to hear the door open... And I'm wearing a pleated mini skirt and a tight-fit tank top too. I didn't think he'd be up at this hour. What has he forgotten in here? That's when notice that he's wearing long black shorts and a military green tank top himself, a towel across his shoulder. Don't tell me he came here for a morning workout? Come to think about it, he asked about the gym, but I never saw him use it these past few days, which means he does it in the morning, while I'm still asleep. Why do I have to make this observation now, when it's too late? 'Hello,' he finally snaps out of it and smiles at me, 'You dance very well. Please continue, I didn't want to disturb you.' 'Um, thanks,' I squeeze the words out of myself. Dance in front of you?! No way, I can't do that! And at this very moment, the previous song ends, and the random playlist decides it's a good idea to pick Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever". Oh lord, I become aware that this song's lyrics strangely suit us. 'I can come back later if you are not comfortable,' says Alex, as if reading my thoughts. How come all I can think of right now is how good his biceps look? Damn, Alice, this was supposed to be a VENT. 'No,' I say. I don't want to seem like running away now, that would be even more embarrassing. Really, it's just dancing, I should be okay with it, right? My mouth is dry, and I'm suddenly nervous as hell. 'Can't you see, I'm at your feet?' sings Shakira in the background. Oh, I wish... And as if on cue, I start to move, stiffly and uneasily at first, but in a few seconds the music grabs me, I close my eyes and dance. Some of the moves are off limits, of course, I'm not bending over for a bazillion, for example. A few moments later I risk a glance, and see Alex walking across the room to the dumbbell rack in the corner, his eyes shooting at me periodically, but I can't face him, so I turn my back on him, careful not to swing my hips too much. I can't believe I'm doing it! I want to run, but the music keeps me going. Now that I'm with my back to him, he can watch all he wants, the thought hits me, so I spin around again, and just barely see Alex averting his gaze, as he works the dumbbell. Oh, his hands look strong... They are slim and not really muscular, but each time he flexes his arm, there's a little something that makes all my being contract with it. The song ends, and the little moment of silence is like a bucket of cold water for me. What am I doing?! I can't do it! Momentarily the rhythm is gone, and there's nothing that binds me anymore, so I stop abruptly, and quickly make my way out of the gym. I ended up running anyway, huh? Just made it more embarrassing by showing off in front of him. I flee to my room, and stand for a good few minutes in the middle of it, calming my breath. Ok, I like him a lot. There. I said it now, there's no point denying it. I can't fool myself anyway. Now the question is, what do I do with it? I can't approach him first, I'm too shy to do that. Besides, it seems completely wrong for a girl to ask a guy out. Maybe I'm just being too old-fashioned about that, but that's just how I am. In the end, I'm unable to reach any conclusion, and I go, defeated, to the shower. I really need it now. A cold one, preferably. 'God damn this boss!!' I exclaim, and I almost want to throw the gamepad at the screen, but that would be most unladylike, so I resist. 'What, having trouble, Alice?' 'He killed me like seven times already! His third phase is flat out unfair.' 'Aww,' Alex intones in mock pity, and I have to smile, 'Really now, do you have trouble with some single-player game?' 'This is a hard game,' I mumble. I am lying on the couch in the games room and playing the new "Dark Souls" game. Those are hardcore stuff. Alex is browsing the net nearby and laughs at my failures. It's been a few days now, and I'm still at a stalemate. Things seemed to calm down completely, and I'm even getting used to having Scarecrow here. At least, I'm not so shy about morning showers now. I sneak a peek at him, and he is sitting, casually crisscrossing his legs in the computer chair, totally absorbed in whatever is on the screen. He bites his lip in thought, and I catch myself mirroring him absent-mindedly. Then he notices that I'm staring, and smiles. 'What?' 'No, nothing, just got lost in thought,' I make an excuse. 'That's exactly why you can't kill a petty boss,' he says arrogantly. 'What?!' 'You seemed to be spacing out a lot in a raid yesterday too.' 'No I didn't!' I exclaim. Well, probably I did, but that's your fault for wearing your sleeveless tank-top all evening! 'This game is just hard!' 'Oh, I played those console games, they are all pretty easy,' he says. 'Well, try this one then,' I'm getting really annoyed by his arrogance all of a sudden. 'What if I do?' he smiles, 'Wouldn't want to shatter your pride, Alice.' 'Huh! Excuses.' 'All right, challenge accepted,' he stands up and walks towards me, but then stops abruptly. 'What?' 'Um, Alice?...' he says carefully, not looking at me, 'You may wanna fix your skirt first?' My eyes shoot downwards and I see that my skirt got completely bunched up at my waist, revealing my white lace panties perfectly. 'Oh, shit!!' I almost scream out, hastily fixing it. Shit, shit, shit! Stupid, so stupid! That's what I get for laying around casually for a few hours while wearing a short skirt! I'm so damn stupid!! With rising horror I understand, that right now I can't face him. I can't let it slide just like that! I want to find a hard wall and bash my head on it a few times. But more than that, I want to run, so I stand up, and walk fast to the exit. 'Alice...' Alex means to stop me, but I wave him away, not looking at him. 'Never mind. I'll be back for the raid,' I say, and as quick as I can afford to keep the last pieces of my shattered dignity, I escape into my bedroom. If my embarrassment meter topped the records when I bumped into Alex the first night, then a few seconds earlier it must have shot through the roof and into orbit. I feel so bad that I actually wanna cry. How come I keep screwing things over like that? Oh, naturally, that's my inborn talent, that is. I shut the door behind me and just drop on my bed, covering my face with my hands to hide from the world. I can't believe what just happened. I can't. I play the scene out in my head over and over, and there's no end to it. This night, for the first time since Alex came to visit me, I raid from my own room. I just can't face him right now. What do I say? How do I look him in the eye, and how will he look at me now? I know I'm probably over-reacting, but I can't help it. I'm so gawky, it's a miracle I survived for 22 years without getting into serious trouble. The next day, I decide to pretend that nothing happened. I mean, really, it's not the end of the world to flash panties to a guy you like, right? I may have got it a bit bad yesterday, what with locking myself in the bedroom for the rest of the day, but it's not like I can keep hiding there forever. But my efforts are shattered as I gradually understand something's wrong. No, Alex tries to act natural, but that's what it is: acting. I can see something's eating at him, but I can't bring myself to ask what exactly. Because I know that it's somehow connected to yesterday's occurrence. And even if I'm ready to leave it behind, I'm not at all willing to discuss it. Even in the raid he's unnaturally quiet today, not joking around as much as usual. Maybe I'm over thinking it, and the reason is not connected? Maybe he has a headache or is just in a bad mood? I have bad hair days myself, occasionally, when everything seems to bug me or make me irritated. But all the thinking I'm going through is in vain, because I can't figure him out at all. In the end, after our raid is over he approaches me himself. 'Alice?' he says, taking the head set off and pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Yes? What?' 'I'm moving out tomorrow.' What? Why?! What the?... It's so sudden that I just gape at him for a few seconds. 'Why, is something wrong?...' I'm amazed that I can keep a level voice. No, don't go! I want you to stay! 'No, it's been great. I've just promised Timble to help him out with some construction in the summer, and that's the time to do so.' I gotta stop him somehow. I mean, he's the first guy I actually liked. 'You've been here barely a week,' I mumble weakly. 'I know, I didn't plan it like this. Sorry.' I'm suddenly aware that I'm really calm. It's like an awakening after a vivid dream, what it feels like. Something was happening, but now it's over and you are left only with an aftertaste. But you still get out of the bed and go about your daily life like it was nothing. That's how I feel right now. The crystal fragrance of my fantasies and dreams shattered but beyond that was nothing. It was there a moment ago, and now it's gone, and it feels like nothing changed. 'Oh, all right then,' I even smile at him. 'Not angry at me?' 'Why should I? It's your life.' No. No... I don't really mean it. But at the same time, what else can I say? 'I'm going to bed now, I'm tired,' I yawn, and stand up.