2 comments/ 31718 views/ 5 favorites A Slut's Journal By: DominantOne00 My name is Kara. I am a 39 year old married mother of two kids, living in the Midwest. I have red hair with hazel eyes, an average build and perky 36C's! Some have described me as a MILF, and I can turn heads for sure! I've always had fantasies, and they've always been a bit restrained. I grew up in a conservative environment and I feel as if my sexuality was a bit repressed. For a while, I was able to happily repress it, but I've been restless in recent years. My fantasies of submission and certain roleplay ideas haven't stayed put away in the corner of my mind where I wanted them to stay. I've turned to chatting online, and those experiences were somewhat satisfying, but I never found what I really wanted and needed. Until recently, that is. One day about a month ago, I was chatting, and got involved in a roleplay with a guy that just seemed different. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but there was just something unique there, and I liked it. After chatting for a while, I gave him my phone number, and that only intrigued me more. I was usually hesitant to give too much personal information in prior chat experiences, but he blew me away with his sensuality and the overall effect he had on me. I wanted more. One chat became another chat, and one phone call became another, until I realized that I needed him. I needed his powerful presence and I needed him to make me submit. Eventually, I got what I wanted, even though I've never submitted to anyone before. In fact, I'm so used to being in control all the time, but this just seems right and I can't help myself. I am ready to shed my former conservative lifestyle and be a completely loyal and obedient slut who serves him. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, and I won't leave my husband and kids, but I need more. And it is Master who gives it to me. When we are together, he is the center of my universe. He lives a state away, but I consider chatting or talking on the phone to him to be my way of being with him. He has made me discover things about myself, things I had never imaged I'd want, need, or crave. In addition to finding my need to submit, Master has awakened a curiosity about women in me. I will always love being with a man, but with Master's help, I'm willing to explore my bi-curiosity. Even though I have told Master that I don't really like women, he knows that it's just a façade, and that I will try women to please him and I know that I'll likely even enjoy it! You see, Master has the ability to see things in me no one else has. He truly is in my head, anticipating my thoughts, curiosities, and desires. Master has asked me to write a journal to keep track of my thoughts and desires. This is the first entry in that journal. This first entry comes from a day in which I had disappointed him. This is actually a couple of entries from the entire day: ----- Master isn't pleased with me today. I'm upset and angry with myself for disappointing him. I know better, but let my fears get in the way of serving. I questioned my desire to please him, which is in a way like questioning him. I never thought of it this way, but now that I do, I know that I am worthy of punishment. He has made me use the clamps once today, as a part of today's punishment. I really don't like the clamps. Master likes the way that they look, but my nipples are so sensitive that they hurt so badly! I would only endure this kind of punishment from Master. If it were anyone else, I'd tell them exactly where to go! But I do this to please Master, and I have let him down today. Another part of my punishment is fucking myself with one of my vibrators, and to do so multiple times throughout the day. I'm not allowed to cum without Master's permission, and it's one of many rules I have to obey at all times. Because I'm being punished today, I know that won't be allowed to cum no matter what I do, and I don't deserve to cum. It's so hard to not cum! My vibrator feels so good inside my wet pussy . . . I mean, my wet cunt! Master loves it when I refer to it as my cunt, because he says that's the way that nasty little sluts like myself should talk. He even calls me a cunt sometimes, which is so humiliating, but it makes me so wet when he calls me that. Master tells me that I'll be able to control my orgasms better in the future with more training, but I sometimes don't know how to stop myself from cumming! I'm not quite used to having my orgasms restricted yet. When I'm fucking myself, alone like this, I hate it. When Master is here, even just listening, I love it. I love that he's hearing me, getting hard, and maybe even going to give me the pleasure of allowing me to make him cum. Without him, this is just a punishment. It's humiliating, and I deserve it. ----- Master has instructed me to fuck myself multiple times throughout the day. I hate that I'm getting so wet. My stocking tops are soaked, my pussy is sore, and now it's almost time to use the clamps again. I sooooo hate the clamps. They hurt, much worse than when someone is tugging or sucking on them. But I accept that this is a part of my punishment. As much as I don't like wearing them, it's worse when they come off. I'm not going to be alone much longer at home. Kids will be home soon, so Master says that I have to put them on soon. I'm trembling all over, and ache to cum. I'd beg Master to let me cum, but I know what he is going to say. This is a part of my punishment, and I don't deserve to cum. I deserve to be used . . . ----- Usually when Master has me in stockings and heels, and nothing else, it's freeing and sexy. He calls it my uniform, and I love wearing my uniform for him. It pleases him, which means that I get pleasure from it too. Making sure he is pleased excites me so much! But today, it feels different. Today I feel alone and exposed, not sexy, not slutty. Just embarrassed, and used. I want to cover up. I've been such a disobedient slut and I let Master down. Knowing that I upset him makes me hurt. I deserve this punishment. I deserve to feel so humiliated. I have to put the nipple clamps on now. Master didn't tell me how long I have to wear them, and even a few minutes is torturous. He says I also have to fuck myself at the same time. As much as I hate my punishment, I still wish he were with me. ----- I have the clamps on now. The vibe is in my wet hole, and it is sore and aching. My eyes are tearing, I'm biting my lip, trying to distract myself from the pain of the clamps. This toy is banging in my cunt so hard by Master's orders. He wanted my pussy to be sore by the end of the day. This is the fourth time today I am fucking myself, and I feel like a dirty slut and a filthy whore. I don't know how Master puts up with me. I'm so sore, aching, humiliated, and still my pussy is dripping and I'm squirming in my chair. I want more, which makes me such a whore! If Master were here, I'd be begging him . . . begging and pleading to take the clamps off. I wouldn't dare to ask to cum. It's already been ten minutes since I put the clamps on, and it feels like it's been ten days! Master has told me I need to leave the clamps on for twice as long as I anticipated . . . He wants me to wear them for another 10 minutes and I don't think I can do it. However, I don't dare take them off and incur more of his wrath. He's been so patient and understanding while training me to be his slut, and that's why I deserve more pain and punishment. Oh, god, he wants the vibe to touch the chain. OHhhhhhhhh. I feel the vibrations go up the chain and feels like the clamps are searing my nipples. The pain is intense, but so is the pleasure. I am feeling some pleasure in having these clamps on my nipples, but I shouldn't tell Master. He'd have these clamps on me all the time if he knew that. Shaking now, it hurts, but I feel such electricity running through my body. I'm curled up in bed, in a ball, waiting for this part of my punishment to end. I'd beg him for me to take these off, but I know that he'll say no. I'm eagerly waiting to get my next message from him. What will he say? Waiting to hear, and I'm on pins and needles. I'm begging him in my head, wishing that he could hear my thoughts. Ooooooooh! He said I can take them off! I thank Master so much for letting those clamps come off my nipples. I've learned to not disappoint you, Master. I won't let you down again. A Slut's Journal: A New Task Master is sending me to the mall today. He has allowed me to wear jeans today, with a thong. I've added a tight, sexy, gray blue sweater with small buttons, and a black french cut bra that shows off lots of cleavage. Out of my comfort zone, the mall is close to home. I'm trying to make up for yesterday's disappointment. I'm nervous, but I want to please Master so badly. The fact that I let him down yesterday disgusts me, and I know that I have to make this right! Master is requiring me to wear the bullet. It's resting up against my slit and held in by my thong. Furthermore, it's very tight to my clit due to the fit of the jeans. I'm still sore from yesterday, and Master told me that I'll have to turn on the bullet when I see an attractive woman. He is still showing me the way with regard to pussy, and I think that this is his way of trying to convince me to like pussy just a little bit more. I am to try on shoes too, which is always fun. Today, he has ordered me to look and try higher heels than I've ever worn before. Also a part of my task, I am to bend over and show my tits as well. The low cut top already shows a generous amount of cleavage, and I've never done anything like this before in public. That makes me nervous. I was nervous about going to the mall. When I got there, my palms were all sweaty, and my mouth was dry. I needed gum to help out with the dry mouth, and it helped to massage the tension just a little bit. I messaged Master when I got there. I always feel better when he can be with me, whether or not it is over the phone or over text. It's important to me, because even if he has some presence, he makes me feel safe, even if he's not physically there. I wore a hoodie over the sweater, in the car. After arriving in the parking lot, I took a deep breath and it off and left it in the car. I was tempted to bring it in, just in case I was too embarrassed. However, I knew that wouldn't make Master happy, and I'm still earning my way back into his good graces, so I left it behind in the car. It's so upsetting when Master isn't happy with me, and I don't want to be punished. Especially after yesterday's punishment, I'm going to be very vigilant. I went into the first shoe store I saw, and I was still nervous. However, I do love shoes!!! Master knew that this part of the task would make me feel more comfortable, and it did. So this was a good task! The level of nerves I was feeling dropped once I started looking at the shoes. The clerk came right over, giving me prompt attention. In fact, he began by staring directly at my tits. At one point, I would have been uncomfortable with this kind of attention, but I was feeling different now. With the bullet turned on to a low setting, I was wet and my nipples were hard. They were clearly poking through my top! He could see how hard they were . . . well, everyone could! I picked out 3 pair right away that I thought that Master would like. The first was a 5'' red pair, with a silver heel. They were very sexy and made me feel so slutty that they made me shiver!!! Then there was a pair of black 6'' (which are the ones that I eventually bought), and a pair of 5'' gladiator style heels. I didn't bother trying on the last pair. The black ones were hot, and I knew they were the ones when I first saw them! The clerk was cute, and young. I'd guess that he was about 24. In fact, he was the kind of guy that when I was 16 or 17, I'd have been crazy for. He was very attentive, and I loved the attention. He asked what I was looking for. If Master was there, I would have told the clerk "I want something that will make me look like the slut that I am. However, without Master physically being there, I lacked the courage. I'll have to work on this. Regardless, I pointed to the red ones and the black pair too. He never stopped looking at my tits, and with the bullet in my pussy, it was hot. I was loving the attention! Now I see why Master likes these kinds of tasks! He brought the heels out and he sat and helped me put the red ones on. They were nice, but not sure if these were the ones. I then tried on the black 6", and they were amazing! I contacted Master via text, and told him how those heels made me feel. I felt so slutty, so much more bold! The salesman got up and was standing right in front of me. That's when Master told me to lean forward. Even though my stomach was in knots, I did it. My cleavage must have been so obvious, and it had an effect on the salesman too. In fact, I was afraid I was going to hit his cock! I could see that he was obviously hard. It was hot that I had that effect. I did like how it felt. It was so sexy to be noticed, and it's been so long since I've felt this way. I really have had this side of me neglected!! The whole interaction made me wet, and with the bullet lodged in my pussy, it made me want to cum so badly! After I paid for my new slutty 6" heels, I wore them out and he watched me walk out and stood in the door way and watched me. I was delirious with pleasure, and I wanted more. After buying the shoes, I walked through the mall. Not as nervous as before, as my comfort level had risen and I felt a bit emboldened by my experience so far. While walking around, I noticed a few people looking right at me. I remembered Master's instruction to notice women, and turn the bullet up when I saw someone who was attractive. I noticed a few women walking to Macy's, and then turned the bullet up! She was a tall blonde, with short hair, and big tits. Master loves big tits, and due to his influence, I am starting to notice and like big tits too! She was wearing tight jeans and a tight, low cut top. I was disappointed to see that she was not wearing heels though. I watched her, admiring her from a safe distance, while the bullet buzzed away inside me. Later, I saw two others walking together. One had big tits, but the other was not as big. Both had long dark hair, and they were sexy. In my head, I secretly wished that they were holding hands! I could tell that Master's influence was starting to pervade my way of thinking, because I know that thought wouldn't have been in my head before I started serving Master! It was hard to really stare, because there were a lot of people in the mall. The two sexy ladies noticed me as we passed each other. They did look that shoes, as well as my tits, which made me feel even hotter! While in Macy's, I got a few more stares, especially when I had to stop because the crowd in front of me had stopped I was still a little nervous, and had to remind myself not to look away in bashfulness. Once again, this is more of Master's influence on me. I decided to go up to the second floor, to the housewares dept. The clerk was a man, probably in his 30's I'd say. I had to get something from the wedding registry, and he was all too eager to help! His eyes never left my tits, so it wasn't exactly an interactive experience. This was a different experience than before. He was a little bit on the creepy side. In fact, he made me feel a little uncomfortable, as opposed to sexy. Regardless, it was still very hot to be noticed and to get more attention than I would have weeks before. I'm so glad that Master has helped me to come out of my shell! After making my purchase, I left the mall. I was thrilled that I'd completed the task, and couldn't wait to tell Master all about it. I hoped that he would cum hearing about today's adventure in the suburbs! Today has expanded my comfort zone, and I look forward to what Master has in mind for me next time! A Slut's Journal: All Over the House This is the latest of journal entries from my slut. If you haven't read the first two journals, please do so that you can get the full story. The brief version of the full story is that my slut (I now refuse to call her by name, and I will be giving her a new name soon which will be more appropriate for someone in her position) is married with children, and has been sexually unfulfilled for years. She has been searching for something new, different, and better. These journals are actual details of how she has served me. * Master had a wonderful idea. He briefly mentioned it once in a prior conversation, but I wasn't sure that he was serious. Today, he is very serious. As a part of my task today, he wants me to fuck myself in every room in the house. The day started with us on the phone, and I was in my proper uniform. I love wearing my uniform of my 6" stiletto slut heels, and stockings with a garter belt, and nothing else. It makes me feel so exposed and owned, and I love that feeling. I love having Master to myself first thing in the morning. When the house is clear, and I'm all alone, I can be such a dirty whore for him and concentrate on his pleasure. I know that I'm breaking away from being the bored and boring housewife I used to be when I think thoughts like that. Surprisingly, Master allowed me to cum at the beginning of our conversation. Master doesn't let me cum often, and it makes me appreciate every orgasm that he allows me. Before I started serving Master, I came often, and I loved cumming. I still love to cum, but I gladly give up control of my orgasms to Master now. He knows best, and the few orgasms that he allows are much better than the ones I used to give myself, when I fantasized about a life that was much less boring. He said if I were a good little slut today, there was a possibility I could cum again. That is one of the hardest things of my servitude, not being able to cum when I want or need to. I'm trying to work on it, and Master says that I'm getting a little bit better at controlling my orgasms every day. After graciously granting me a release, Master laid out his plan for me today. He told me to get a vibrator and I was to go into every room and fuck myself. The first room was the guest room. I'd never done that before in that room, and it was strange. It was so weird to fuck myself on a bed that was not my own. Until now, I had never fucked myself in a room other than the bedroom, or the office, where I keep my computer. Master had me fuck my cunt nice and deep, until I was ready to cum. When I was on the verge of orgasm, he told me to stop and move on to the next room. He asked what room was adjacent to the room I was currently in, and I told him about the sitting area. This sitting area is at the top of the stairs, and directly in front of a window. I told Master about the chair in that area, in front of the window, and I heard a mischievous tone in Master's voice. He directed me to put my foot up on the chair and fuck my cunt again. Due to the position of my legs, the vibe went deeper into my gushing pussy, and I was getting very wet and more turned on. I was aware of fucking myself in front of the window, but I obeyed Master, in spite of my insecurity. After once again getting painfully close to cumming, Master had me move on to the stairs. My legs were spread wide, and the toy was deep. Fucking myself like this was making it harder to control myself, but I knew that I wasn't allowed to cum. Master would give some strong punishment for cumming without permission. It's even harder to hold back when I'm hearing Masters voice. Next, Master instructed me to go to the kitchen. He had me place my foot on the counter, and extend my leg. This made pussy wetter, and the angle made the vibe go deeper. By this time, my stockings were even wet. The fact that I was so wet that it was dripping down to my stocking tops while fucking myself in the kitchen where I prepare so many meals for my family was driving me wild. Master could tell I was once again on the verge of orgasm, so he had me stop. By this time, I was getting a little sore, but I didn't mind. Master then instructed me to get on the dining room table, on my back, as the dining room was the next room in the house. I did as I was told, fucking myself on the same table where I serve holiday dinners. Realizing that fact, combined with what I was doing made me even wetter, and my wetness was dripping onto the table. I know that my enjoyment isn't important or necessary. In fact, it doesn't matter at all. Up until now, I was thoroughly enjoying this task. Once again, I heard that devious tone in his voice. It makes me quiver in pleasure mixed with a tiny bit of fear. Master asked if I'd made a mess on the table. I could tell by the tone in his voice, that I might not like what was next. I told him I had made a mess on the table, and the wetness from my hot cunt made a small puddle. He made me lick that part of the table clean with my tongue. I didn't like it for many reasons. Having to lick my own wetness off of the table was humiliating, and degrading. It didn't taste good, either. I love the taste of my pussy, but this was different. Regardless, it made me wet and I hated how it aroused me. It was a like a conflict within me, my mind hating it, but my body showing me that I loved it. Next was the living room, and Master had me sit in the leather chair. Once again, he ordered me to fuck myself hard. When I again nearly reached the apex of orgasm, he told me to stop. Master then asked if I'd made a mess. I hesitated in answering, and Master demanded to know. He hates it when I hesitate. I told him yes, that I had made a mess on my nice leather chair. He had me lick it clean, much to my chagrin. Even though I hated doing it, he liked hearing me lapping it up. Between fucking my cunt, the humiliation, and hearing that Master was pleased, I was wetter than ever! The last room was the study, and I was feeling so on edge, hoping I'd be able to cum. I was so desperate to cum that I was eager to get to the last room. Or maybe I was just eager because I'm such a slut. Master wanted me on the desk, so I complied. I sat on the edge of the desk, legs spread wide, my pussy aching and wet. As I was fucking myself on the desk, and getting closer to cumming, the tension was mounting. I was so excited to see if Master would allow me to finally cum, here in the last room. I didn't dare ask though. I knew I was wet, and knew I'd make a mess and that I'd have to clean it up with my tongue. In spite of that thought, I fucked myself harder and deeper. I didn't care, I just wanted to please Master, and maybe he'd let me cum. It was harder to control myself this time, as all of the buildup was getting to me. I'd been fucking myself for awhile. Finally, Master told me to stop, and he then had me clean the wet mess on the desk. It was disgusting, and I was so humiliated. There's nothing I wouldn't do for Master at this point. I was confused because Master hadn't cum yet. I'd been waiting to hear him. Though hearing him makes me lose control sometimes, I still crave hearing him cum, even if I can't. He told me to go back to the kitchen, where I fucked myself before. I did as he said, putting my leg up on the counter. I was feeling shaky and my thigh muscles were starting to hurt. My pussy was aching, my clit throbbing. Master said to fuck myself even harder this time! I did and it was torture. I needed to cum, but didn't dare cum without his permission. That would be a huge punishment, and I knew it. I was in a daze, and it was hard to pay attention to Master. I could tell he was going to cum and I thought I was going to be able to as well. Master came and I used all of my restraint to wait until he gave permission. I was trembling all over. He told me to stop fucking myself. A few words were said before we disconnected. I was in such a state that I don't even remember what we said before he hung up. I couldn't stay standing, my leg was numb, and I was trembling. The feelings were so intense that I had to sit on the floor. I hated the way I felt, and I was angry at Master. Even though he knows best, it doesn't mean that I like not cumming all the time. I still have much to learn. I thought about making myself cum in spite of not having permission because I needed it so badly. Instead I laid there, humiliated, used and owned, on the floor. I needed to be good, Master expects better of me. I was so spent and exhausted. It took a major effort to get up and get ready for work. Later, Master said he didn't realize how close I was so close to cumming, but I know it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I exist to serve and please him, and if he didn't want me to cum, then that's what I'd give him. I didn't really tell him that I was a little bit upset, but I did tell him that I wasn't feeling very warm and fuzzy about him at the time. I was glad he came, but angry that I didn't. It was confusing that I wasn't allowed to cum after serving him so well, but I knew that I couldn't cum without his permission. There are still some inner conflicts within me, but I know that with more time and training, these conflicts will be resolved, and I will better learn to serve Master.