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Surrendered

By: Snowmaiden



Ethan and I met on a forum for Christian singles interested in the domestic discipline lifestyle. While he had grown up in such a household, I had been fatherless and spoiled all my life. At the time I wasn't sure it was something I wanted for myself but I was curious. 

There has always been something in me that has been attracted to the concept of submission and to men worth the honor of my submitting to them. I don't know why. I've long since given up asking myself that or trying to decide if I'm crazy or kinky, or whatever. I've learned to just accept myself the way I am and I think I'm lucky, because many people live their entire lives and never do.

About Ethan. He's 6'2, and clean cut with hazel eyes and a good build from working on his father's farm. He majored in agricultural science in college. Highly intelligent, affectionate, and a real Southern gentleman, he completely swept me off my feet from the very beginning. I never stood a chance.

We had our differences. I was a city girl and I'd majored in English, being more of the scholarly type than he was. I intended to study library science in graduate school, but ended up being a housewife instead. I reign Queen over a nice house with a fair sized amount of land. I spend my days making things nice for myself and my family. Being June Cleaver may not suit everyone, but it suits me.

Despite my curiosity, at the time of our marriage I was still very unsure about the whole domestic discipline thing. Ethan was though. He maintained that his parents had practiced it for twenty five years of marriage and were completely happy. And he was right. His parents are the kind of people that other couples look to in envy. 

But that wasn't what led me to accept his proposal. I married him because I was truly, deeply, whole heartedly in love with him. When you're in love, you're willing to do anything in the world for that special person. I knew that Ethan loved me and I knew he'd never hurt me, so when he asked me to marry him I never had a second thought.

I didn't go into the marriage without apprehension. Despite what I'd read and conversations we'd had, I wasn't sure quite what to expect. He never once tried to lay a finger on me during our courtship. "A man has no business spanking a woman who isn't his wife any more than he has making love to her." he told me once.

As the date of the wedding grew nearer I had many questions about myself. Could I really be the woman he needed me to be? Would the life of a housewife really be fulfilling? What about the discipline? What if I came to fear or resent Ethan? What if I wasn't tough enough to take it?

His mother had the most helpful answer to that last one.

"It isn't about being strong or tough. The point of the whole thing is to eliminate stubborn, stiff-necked tendencies. It's not about power...it's about giving up power. It's about complete trust in your mate. Do you trust Ethan?"

Yes, I did. And that's why I married him.

Our honeymoon was just like anyone else's would have been. We were away for two glorious weeks with only each other to think about. He was my first and I was his, and that's a rare thing in this day and age.

Once we were back we set to work starting our new life together. I bustled around getting our nest in order and he went out and worked on the farm. I was happy, but still had a slight, edgy feeling of dread. I knew what my expected wifely duties were and I was still afraid of disappointing him.

It was toward the end of the first week back from our honeymoon as we were sitting on the porch steps drinking iced tea and watching the sun go down when he said casually, "Tomorrow I plan to give you your first spanking, Beth."

My fingers tightened nervously on the glass. "But I haven't done anything wrong."

"No. You've been wonderful. This is just how this kind of relationship is kept healthy and well oiled. Regular discipline keeps gender roles firmly in place, and frankly, I think it's good for woman's emotional nature. My mother....who by the way gets one spanking a week...says it's a good stress reliever. Honey, you've been like a hampster on a wheel all this week."

"I've been busy." 

"I know. And a good cry will be good for you." he said in a reasonable tone" And too....there's an intimacy to it. You don't understand yet, but you will."

"When exactly?"

"Tomorrow night after dinner. If it makes you feel any better, I'm nervous too. I've never spanked a woman before."

This was not overly comforting. It must have showed on my face.

"I won't enjoy hurting you, you know. Some things are just necessary. It hurt when I took your virginity, didn't it?"

Yes, it had. And I was still so tight that I felt discomfort whenever we made love...but the reward was well worth it. That's just how some things are in life. I set down my glass and snuggled up against him. "I love you Ethan. Whatever you want."

The moment of reckoning came after dinner the following day, just as he had warned me. Ethan had come in from checking the animals and said simply, "Beth, go up to our room, undress and wait for me in the chair by the window. I'll be up after the news. Sit quietly and prepare yourself for your spanking."

I did as he asked, following his orders with shaking hands and fingers. It was alarming to be so at the mercy of another person, and yet what a beautiful thing to have such love and trust. 

I had to wait for a torturous half hour. I knew it would hurt and dreaded it. "If a man doesn't bring his wife to tears, then he has failed her." Ethan told me once. "Tears show that the spanking has done it's job. Trust me....you'll understand when you experience it."

Nervously, I glanced at the basket beside the chair. It contained a cane, a belt, and a bath brush. I had a horror of the cane from an account his mother had told me of one being used on her once. She'd had welts for a week afterwards, but oddly enough, didn't seem to mind. "I'd deserved it and after it was all over, I thanked him sincerely." she'd summed it all up.

I could not imagine myself thanking anyone for putting welts on me and hoped I would never have the occasion.

My eyes moved to the belt, a supple length of thick brown leather. It looked wicked, like a whip out of some movie about the Middle Ages. The bath brush didn't look much better as it was heavy and made of thick, solid wood.

It was a relief when he finally came but there was a steely look to his eyes and a note of authority in his voice that was new to me. He sat down near me on the edge of the bed and said, "I'm going to spank you because I love you. I'll be gentle this first time but it will still hurt. A spanking must hurt to be effective. Every Friday at this same time I intend to spank you. After this I'll want you to come up here and get ready without being told."

He paused, as though waiting for me to reply, but I was silent, head bowed. Suddenly I felt very humiliated by the whole thing and couldn't meet his eyes. He was my best friend and lover but suddenly he had an air of authority about him that I felt compelled to respect. It was like sitting beside a stranger.

"Come over here and lay across my lap." he instructed.

For the first time ever I didn't want to go to him. At the same time, I knew I had to or it would only make things worse. Besides which, I wanted him to be pleased and proud of me, and that more than anything gave me the strength I needed to cross the distance between us.

My heart was pounding very fast as he hooked one arm around my waist to secure me over his knee. I felt ridiculously awkward and ungraceful hanging there like that like a bad little girl being punished for having a messy room. After one final warning to stay still, it began as his hand came down soundly on my bottom. It stung, but I think I was more startled by it than hurt. His hand came down again and began a constant rain of solid swats.

I closed my eyes and was glad he couldn't see my face which I'm sure was scarlet. Yet despite the humiliation, I was experiencing an odd sort of epiphany as I lay there over my husband's knee while he spanked my backside redder than my face. There was something strangely comforting about giving myself over to him so completely. I became more aware of my femininity and I became aware of a strange undercurrent of sexual energy that was almost palpable.. Maybe it was just because he'd never seemed so strong and...male...before.

"I think you're having a little too much fun." he commented, though there was a slight twinge of amusement in his words. He almost sounded like himself again, my best friend, rather than the authoritarian stranger that he'd become when he'd walked in the room. I felt him lean down and reach under the bed for something and had only a moment to feel concern before something slapped across my bottom so hard that I gave an involuntary shriek of pain and surprise. It felt like the sole of one of my slippers, which indeed it proved to be. 

Now he spanked me harder and faster and I realized that he had been gentle before. What I didn't realize was that he was still being extremely gentle...it just didn't seem so at the time. My bottom was starting to burn like fire and I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever stop. It was getting to be a struggle to stay still and accept what he was giving me. Again and again the slipper found it's mark, searing my already chafed skin. I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to hold out.

Finally I broke. Without warning, as suddenly as water spilling from a glass, all resistance ran out of me and I started to cry. For a moment I sensed hesitation on his part but then he only spanked me harder. I continued to sob quietly for another five minutes or so and found it strangely cathartic. It was just such a relief to give in to his will and submit myself to him body and soul. I've never felt anything quite so profound.

It was a few seconds before I realized that he'd stopped. When he let me up and I looked in his face I saw strong emotion in his eyes. Realizing that he'd also found this hard overwhelmed me with love for him.

I slid to the floor and settled between his knees. "Thank you." I whispered, wiping away tears. It just seemed to be the right and natural thing to say somehow. I felt lax and warm and very aware of my femininity...of his masculinity as well. "Ethan....let me..." I whispered, reaching for the button of his jeans. "Let me do this for you. I want to love you like this...right here...on my knees." Another thing that felt completely natural although I'd never done it before. 

Eyes bright with passion, he nodded.

I unfastened his pants and freed his erection. Although I was inexperienced, I let instinct guide me. I made love to him with my mouth, sliding my lips up and down his length. His evident pleasure emboldened me and I found myself intoxicated by his musky, masculine scent and taste. I found that I was getting as much pleasure in giving as he was in receiving.

"Get ready, Beth." he ground out with sudden urgency.

Hot, sticky fluid filled my mouth. After the first shock I found that the sensation gave me pleasure. There was just something so raw and intimate about tasting my husband's semen while my backside still tingled from his spanking.

We locked eyes while he finished and then he said gruffly, "Come here."

This time I had no hesitation in climbing into his arms. Urgently, almost roughly, he pulled me onto the bed and laid me on my back, parting my thighs. 

I hadn't realized how desperately aroused I was until his fingers plunged inside me and he lowered his head to lap my swollen clitoris with his tongue. My senses already heightened by the spanking, it took all of thirty seconds for him to make me writhe and claw at the sheets with a pleasure so intense that it almost bordered on pain.

Afterwards he held me, and I found myself crying again, though I couldn't think why. "Now you understand." he told me, kissing my forehead. 

"Did I please you?" I asked wistfully.

"Very much --- I'm so proud of you. You held so still for me and...well....what came after was a nice touch. I can't think of any better way for a woman to show submission and love to her husband than that."

"I enjoyed it...I liked how you tasted."

"So you should. It's natural for a woman to crave her husband's body.....as I crave yours."

I drifted off to sleep shortly after that, wrapped in his arms and the sweetness of his words feeling utterly content, satisfied, and surrendered.

Surrendered Wife



Just another story, the book is real but don't take this stuff too seriously.

We were spooning, sleeping, and I woke up to the feeling of his hard cock pressing against the fabric of my pj bottoms. He was rubbing himself lightly, I thought maybe he wasn't even awake. I had a brief flush of lust but I was tired, besides, he hadn't done the dishes and I didn't want him to think that would slide.

I was almost asleep again when I felt his fingers slide into my waist band and start tugging the bottoms down. I ignored it, but he seemed to think he could get away with it. He pulled at them until they were down below my ass. His fingers wandered, sliding down, finding my pussy dry. I felt the cool air on my skin and continued to pretend like I was asleep.

He wouldn't accept that though. He was already rock hard and trying to breathe softly enough not to wake me up. I could feel a smear of precum along my ass cheek as he rubbed the head of his cock on me. He reached over, ever so slowly, and pulled my left leg up towards my chest, opening me up to him, cock already resting on the very edge of my pubic hair. I hadn't shaved in a week just to spite him, to show him real women in their natural form weren't gross. Porn stars just had more time on their hands to take care of things like that. In response he'd left a copy of something called "Surrendered Wife" on my bedside table instead of my regular book.

It had a rose on the cover so I figured it was a romance, for some reason. I saw a few of the chapter headings and I became intrigued. I wondered if he really took it seriously and that kind of turned me on. I thought of a time two months ago when I'd gotten tipsy watching movies and he came home angry that I'd forgotten to meet him at a company dinner. He'd pulled me over his lap and spanked me, hard and apparently with deaf ears to my cries. It'd worked, I hadn't forgotten any of his dinners since but I resisted his attempts to change my style of life.

I couldn't help it, it's in my nature to assert myself.

But I didn't want to read the book. I only read a few chapters looking for something hot. "Abandon the Myth of Equality" wasn't the kind of thing I really bought into, especially if it was followed by "Say Yes to Sex." I mean, c'mon. I figured they gave that stuff up in the 50's when they realized women weren't just maids. I was halfway through that thought when I had to stop myself from gasping. He was pressing the head of his cock against my asshole (he hated terms like that) and didn't seem to be letting up. I thought I was going to let him have his fun, but I'd told him "no anal" since we'd met. He seemed bent on it, though, as if it represented something else. Like I was holding out just so he couldn't have all of me.

So what if that was true? I liked keeping him going. I liked saying I didn't feel like sucking his cock just because he felt like sitting down in front the TV and calling me into the room for that purpose. I told him I appreciated that he worked all day but that didn't mean that I was just going to fall to my knees and worship him because he had a paycheck. Besides (my favorite jab) it's not like I didn't want to work.

There was something secretly satisfying to my ego about vanilla missionary position sex, taking the joy out of it as I close my eyes and refused to kiss him.

I almost gasped again, he was working his cock, wet with precum, around in a little circle at my hole. I had felt the entrance, so briefly, such an intrusion that made me so wet. Wet like I'd gotten before I'd met him when I was still with his best friend and I'd beg for it. I wondered if he was using lubricant, I could feel the wetness on my thighs. I didn't respond so he didn't respond to me, he just kept going, loosening me up.

Maybe it was because I hated being kept at home, even though I could do whatever I wanted. I'd worked since high school and it was hard to get used to. I hated him because he respected me, loved me, and that just seemed like the same line I'd heard every night in the bar I worked in through college. I didn't want to believe that I'd wasted that much time on something so worthless.

Oh God, he pressed in, I couldn't help it now. I gasped and when I tried to stop myself I groaned. He pushed in with more force, arm over mine and across my chest. He was moving his hips in circles, working his way in, and I did nothing. I was turned on still, but the deeply intrusive feel of what he was doing didn't turn me on any more. I realized it wasn't supposed to, it was supposed to be for him just because he wanted it. Because I loved him, and I really did, and because I said I would honor him at the altar and I hadn't. I was supposed to respect him and I hadn't, he'd been kind and I'd been purely bratty. He'd given me a home and security and I hadn't even humored him after a long day at work.

"That's it," he whispered, "take it. Trust me."

I pushed forward against his arm so I could push back with my ass. It was a little awkward at first until he leaned into me. He got up on his right knee a so when he was ready to hit bottom he really did. He put his back into it, as they say, pushing in slowly and moving his hand down to hold my breast. Breast, I wasn't even thinking of it as a 'tit.' He pinched my nipple between his fingers, hard, and I didn't tell him to stop. I moaned. I liked this, I loved how it felt. Giving him pleasure just for the sake of making him happy.

I opened and saw the spine of the book, there, I couldn't even read the title in the dark. He mashed my breast against my chest, pushing me down into the pillow so I couldn't see anymore. He stopped then, usually I would've said something maybe even something mean, but this time I didn't. I was as docile as a lamb. He pulled out and got up on his knees, grabbing his pillow and working it under my hips. Spreading my legs and looking at me in the moonlight, then reaching over to turn on the lamp (something I never allowed). I adjusted myself, taking my own pillow and trying to arrange it like I thought he'd like it. So he could get to my breasts without much effort, pulling my knees up so he could enter me again.

"Uuuugghhoooohhhh." was something like the sound I made into the pillow. I was smiling, I could see the rose on the cover now as he pushed into me, gently. I kind of expected him to slam into me, but I should've trusted him. He knew what was best. I made appreciative sounds, he stroked my butt and my back making it relaxing for me. He touched my face, stroking me like a cat.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too, sweetie." he replied.

And he paused to adjust my legs against, so I'd be perfect, and he began thrusting harder. Harder because that's how he needed it and he hadn't had a release in such a long time. I should've been happy he hadn't fucked his secretary, I though. He reached up and took my hands, pulling them down by my waist so I was in a completely submissive position, unable to control what he was doing. Harder, deeper he went, and it hurt. No doubt, it hurt. The stretching combined with /that/ feeling. That dark intrusive wrongness that I was giving up to him. His legs were slick against mine, slick with sweat.

His breathing was ragged and freckled with sparse grunts. He was lost to it, about to cum and I wanted him to. I wanted him to pleasure himself with me. For once it was 'sex' instead of 'fucking.' He pressed me down with a hand on my back, as if I was bowing to him. Worshipping him because he was what I needed, wanted.

His cum flooded into me, hot and deliciously wet. I pushed my hips towards him in a slow controlled circle. He left himself inside of me, letting his weight come down on my back. Snuggling like that.

"Thanks for reading the book, hon."

(for the interested reader: I plan on sequels, please check back)



Surrendering Herself



She knew she was his. His to do with as he pleased. The thought of it made her tingle with excitement. Her panties weren't wet or even moist yet, but she knew they would be soon enough. He would tease her. Fondle her breasts through her top and bra. He would caress them gently and rub them. Make her squirm. Build her desire and anticipation. He would make her beg as he aroused her more and more until she was mad with desire. Then he would take her and make her scream with pleasure. Again and again. That's what he promised her. Make the times they had been together pale in comparison. Give up control to him for the weekend and he'd take her to heights she only imagined before. She walked in and locked the door behind herself. With the click of the deadbolt she knew she was committed to him for the weekend. 

"Put your bag down and come over here." He said and patted the couch next to him. She set down her bag and walked over. As she sat down he asked, "Are you OK?"

"Yes. I'm excited, and just a bit nervous. I've never given up control like this before."

He rubbed her thigh as he said, "I understand. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. Think of a safe word. If you say it I'll stop no matter what. Does that sound good?"

"Yes, but I don't want to disappoint you."

"You won't. What is the safe word going to be?"

He hand had moved to the inside of her thigh and her legs just instinctively spread apart to give him better access. She hadn't even realized it was happening. She said, "Peanut butter."

"OK. So you want to do this right?" he asked as he nodded slowly.

"Yes."

"Good." His hand moved from her leg to her breast. Massaging it gently. Just brushing the top of her lacy bra. Her anticipation started to rise. He slowly turned her and started playing with both her breasts gently one in each hand. His magical touch sending sparks down her body. Her breath caught as she felt the heat rising. The flush filling her. His lips brushed her neck and he tugged her top out of her pants. His hands slid under and caressed her stomach. Slowly moving up her body pushing her top up ahead of them. He kissed her on the lips nibbling on her lip and all she could do was mew with desire.

She thought about how he hadn't really even touched her yet at least not directly and she was already feeling the dampness between her legs. His tongue explored her mouth as his hands explored her breasts. Both stoking the fire of the other causing it to spiral and consume her. Her moans were swallowed by his mouth as his fingers pulled the front of her bra down. A finger slid over her nipple as light as a feather and she wanted to scream at the shock of pleasure it shot through her right down to her pussy. He broke the kiss and pulled her top the rest of the way off. 

His mouth moved to her right breast instead of returning to her mouth and she shuddered slightly. His tongue flicking back and forth over the nipple. Each rapid flick sending bolts of pleasure down her body and she started panting as her body soared. As her eyes started to roll back with her on the edge he stopped and said, "No cumming until I tell you that you can."

Her eyes flew open as the fog of pleasure cleared a bit. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you promised to do what I said, and I'm saying no cumming until I tell you it's OK." His finger rubbing circles around her nipple rubbing the saliva in. His other hand resting between her legs. "Or you can use your safe word cum and we are done, but if you show discipline and hold back I'll bring you to places you've never been before."

"What if I try to hold off and still cum?"

"Then you pay a price for disobeying. Since you are just starting to learn it won't be bad, but as you get more experienced the price for accidents will go up."

"OK."

"Take off your pants." She pulled off her pants knowing her panties were already soaked and wasn't surprised when he asked, "Have you cum already?"

"No, I'm just very excited."

"Good. Relax and enjoy it, but hold back your climax."

His hand rubbed her through her panties. The silk caressing her clit as he went back to work on her nipples. Licking first one then the other. Each time he switched it drove her higher until she was again panting on the edge when suddenly he pulled her panties aside and slipped a finger into her wet pussy. The pleasure wave threatened to flood her as she clamped down on it to hold the wave back from climaxing. She gasped, "I can't... can't hold bbbback much longer."

To torment and tease her he chose then to start stroking his finger in and out of her pussy. Despite her efforts her hips started to thrust against his hand the climax just a thrust or two away and he stopped letting her come back down unfulfilled. Just as she came down a bit he started thrusting again a bit slower this time. The wave building stronger this time and again rising to a point where she didn't think she could stop it as her hips jumped. Again he stopped leaving her on the edge and slowly returning back to earth unfulfilled. He repeated this cycle five more times each time rising her higher and bringing her closer but leaving her just short of release.

"If I let you cum will you give me oral sex?"

He knew she hadn't wanted to do it before and now was using her desire as leverage to get her to do it, but she didn't hesitate. "Yes."

His stroking starting again she could already feel the pleasure beginning to rise even though he was barely stroking at this point. Though it felt like he now had two fingers not just one in her. "Suck me off until I tell you to stop?"

"Yes." She screamed between gasps.

"OK. You can cum." He said but he stopped again leaving her just short. She moaned in torment. As if this flipped a switch he started rapidly stroking his two fingers in and out. His mouth licking one nipple. The other nipple being rubbed by his free hand. The pleasure shot through her threatening to overwhelm her. Then his thumb found her clit. 

The climax washed over her and he kept stroking her. Her hips thrust as she climaxed again and again. As the third climax shook her body part of her mind wondered if she had just been had. He said she could cum, but did that mean she could cum once and had to hold back again or was she OK. 

As if to confirm her fears he asked, "Did you cum more than once?"

For the briefest moment she thought to lie but deep down knew that was the wrong choice. "Yes, I came three times."

"I only gave you permission to cum once."

"Oh. You were so good I couldn't stop. I'm sorry."

He pulled down his pants and his huge cock flopped out. "Start paying off your promise while I decide what I should do about your indiscretion."

She took him in her hands and slowly started licking him. He became even harder as she took him into her mouth sucking on the tip. Her tongue running up and down the underside of his cock. She moved her head down slightly as she sucked taking more of him into her mouth. After five minutes of sucking on him she started tasting the slightly salty taste of his precum. He pulled her up saying, "That is good for now. I'm not ready to cum yet, and you are really turning me on. Now about your punishment. Or should I say punishments since you came twice without permission."

She looked at him pleading with her eyes for him to be lenient. "Please go easy on me. I'm new to this."

"I know. Let's go up to the bedroom." He took her by the hand and led her upstairs. Stopping at the door he said, "Wait here." A moment later he came back out holding a blindfold, "Put this on. This will be your first repayment."

She took the blindfold from him and put it on. She felt his hands on her breasts again then sliding down her sides to her panties. With a quick tug he pulled them down to her knees. She wondered what he was going to do here in the hallway when his tongue licked her pussy. His hands kneaded her ass holding her in place as she squirmed. His tongue moved in and out of her and she felt the pleasure building. "What happened to the bedroom?"

He pulled his mouth out of her muff and said, "In time." Then he renewed his licking driving her up to the edge.

She gasped her knees getting weak as she barely held back the climax. "I'm going to cum. Please stop."

"Hold it back. You can do it."

His tongue found her clit and she clenched trying to stop from cumming. Her body shaking as she barely held it back. Then he stopped. He took her by the hand and led her to the bed. She shuffled along. He playfully slapped her ass. "It is good that you held your climax back. You don't want to owe me too many times too soon do you? Though I promise you'll enjoy paying off your debt."

Her feet hit the bed and she lost her balance with her panties around her legs. She fell forward sprawled across the bed. He grabbed her wrists and pulled them behind her back. The rope bound them together and she started to panic. He asked, "Do you trust me? Or do you want to use your safe word?"

"I trust you."

"Good."

His cock pushed into her pussy and she gasp with surprise and pleasure. He slowly opened her up and the heat started rising. His thrusts sped up and her passion rose in unison. Her breath started to catch as he fucked her right over the edge. She came again. Her pussy clamped down on him as she soaked his cock with her juices. He continued thrusting and she felt the next wave coming. She clamped down trying to hold the next climax back, but it washed over her anyhow. He pulled out and grabbing the rope pulled her back off the bed. She felt his cock at her mouth and opened up. His cock slid into her throat and she almost gagged. He pulled back and started to cum. She counted as he squirted five, six times in her mouth. It ran down her chin dripping on her breasts. She tried to swallow and only got half of it down before she choked the rest running down her chin. "You came again."

"Yes." She said lowering her head.

"It's OK." He pushed her back onto the bed and climbed on top of her. Putting her legs over her shoulders he started slowly thrusting. She was amazed he was still hard right after cumming so hard. His big cock thrust deep into her and she felt fuller than she ever had before. She took him all the way into her. Since she couldn't see she felt everything even more and knew if he didn't stop soon she would lose control. As if reading her mind he pulled out and she felt cum splash on her stomach and chest. The underside of his cock rubbing along her slit and clit. She gasped and struggled not to cum knowing she didn't have permission. He whispered in her ear, "Cum as hard and as many times as you can as he slid his cock over her slit. She let go and her climax ripped through her and then again. He stopped and started fingering her rapidly and she came with each thrust for almost a minute. Exhausted she gulped air trying to catch her breath and get back under control. 

He stopped and said, "This is just the beginning. As you get better at holding your climax in check it will make your climaxes even higher when they come." He pulled off the blindfold. She looked down at his cum all over her chin and chest from her failed attempt to swallow and then down to the lines on her stomach and chest from when he pulled out and came on her. 

She thought about how she should probably get up and clean up but she was exhausted. He laid down next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder as they fell asleep together.

She awoke and it was dark outside. She could smell spices and knew he had been cooking. He walked in as she started to get up. The cum had dried on her and pointing at herself she said, "I need a shower or to clean up for dinner."

"No just throw on a shirt and this skirt." He tossed her a mini skirt she had brought with her. She knew it would barely cover her ass and if she bent over it wouldn't.

"I'm a mess."

"Dinner is ready. Do you want to eat peanut butter or the Italian stew I made?"

The fact he used her safe word wasn't lost on her as she said, "The stew." She found her shirt and pulled it on and put the skirt on.

Dinner was wonderful and she was thoroughly satisfied. As he put the dishes in the dishwasher he said, "I'll count wearing this for me as one of your repayments so you only owe me two now."

She nodded glad he hadn't limited her to one climax at the end of their session or she would really be in trouble. "Sounds fair to me. Can I wash up now?"

"No. Get your dildo out of your bag. We're going to work on your endurance for a while now. When you are done if you do well you can earn a shower. Would you rather play on the couch or in the bed?"

"The bed." He led her back upstairs and told her to get comfortable as he pulled off her panties and had her pull up the skirt.

"You are going to do an edge ladder." From her puzzled look he knew she wasn't familiar with what he meant. "This will build your endurance. It is like climbing a ladder with each step taking you higher. The first step is an edge and then you stop for 30 seconds. The second step is two edges with a 10 second break. You break for 30 seconds again. Then the third is three edges with 10 seconds in between again, and so on until you reach the number of steps you are doing. Do you understand?"

She nodded and asked, "How many steps?"

"I would like to see a minimum of four. Of course if you cum during the climb you fail. If you succeed you can take as long of a shower as you like. For each step above the fourth you take I'll erase one of your debts as long as you quit before you come."

She put the dildo in her mouth to get it wet knowing she wasn't moist enough yet to just insert it in her pussy. Slowly she played with her pussy until she was slowly thrusting it in and out. After ten minutes she was getting wet and started thrusting faster until she reached the edge after another ten minutes. After the 30 second pause she started again and was on the edge after seven minutes this time. Her pussy soaking wet as the dildo pulled out dribbling her juices on her thigh. Her breath had just returned to normal when she had to start up again. The fast thrusts brought her to the edge in just under a minute and she had to fight to keep from exploding. It became obvious she would have to go slower as she got to higher steps if she wanted to succeed. She was back down quite a bit when the next 30 second break was up and she started working on the third step. After five minutes of a medium paced stroke she was hovering on the edge again. She stopped and pulled out the dildo her juices soaking it and her hand at this point. The ten seconds barely allowed her to catch her breath and she started slowly stroking and after a minute was at the edge. After her pause the third edge only took about twenty seconds. 

She gasped and struggled to hold it in bay for the whole 30 second break. Starting at a slow pace she quickly found herself on the edge. The pause and edge again. She felt more in control by the end of the step and decided to go for a fifth step and working off some of her debt as he put it. Having hit a rhythm the fifth step was fairly easy and she continued on to the sixth step. After the break the first edge took only a minute and she had to fight to keep from cumming. After the pause it took only thirty seconds for the second edge to grip her. Her breath had just returned to normal and she slowly stroked for fifteen seconds before she was on the edge yet again. After the pause it only took ten seconds of slow strokes to reach another edge. After another pause it took only two strokes to be back on the edge.

As she started to come down she said, "That's it I'm done. We're even."

"No you need to come back down the ladder."

"What?"

"You don't just climb up a ladder and stay there forever do you?"

"No."

"So why would you quit at the top of an edge ladder. It's time to start again."

With a groan she started stroking slowly and was at the edge after twenty second. She knew she was in deep trouble. The shudder of fighting off the climax had just stopped when the pause was over. Five strokes in five seconds later she was squirming on the edge again. "Slower." He whispered in her ear. The heat of his breath on her ear almost sent her over the edge during the pause. Slowing to a stroke every two seconds and it still only took ten seconds to edge. She slowed further but the wave was going to crash right over her wall and the climax was unavoidable. She thought if I'm going to fail I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can. When the pause ended and she was still riding the edge she thrust as fast as she could and the climax exploded in her. Pulling the dildo out she squirted all over her leg.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't hold it back."

He sat next to her and said, "It's OK. You did well. Here's the deal. I give you permission to cum for the rest of the ladder instead of edges its climaxes. If you succeed we'll call it a draw and you can shower when done."

"OK."

He grabbed the dildo and started thrusting it in and out of her. The fifth step was done before she had caught her breath. After the 30 second break he started stroking rapidly again. The first climax was only ten seconds away. The pauses took longer than getting her to climax to finish the fourth step. She felt spent and after the next break even though she was still extremely aroused she couldn't get over the edge. Every time she was almost there he changed the speed leaving her just short. Then he started as fast as he could again and the third step was done in a minute. 

She felt like she never came down for the last two steps. "Shower time."

She was weak and didn't trust herself to stand at the moment. "Can I take it in the morning instead?"

"Sure." She barely heard his answer as she passed out from the exhaustion of the ladder.



Surrendering My Balls



How and why was I in this situation, only those of you who crave the same fun can understand.

I was a 32 year old marketing executive, beautiful wife, but with a craving for the dark side of B&D and even S&M that my All-American lifestyle did not include. The feeling of helplessness, of fear, and of humiliation that are not a part of "normal" peoples lives. Increasingly that feeling could not come from the string of dominatrix's that I had visited. While being tied up, forced to lick a woman's shoe, have nasty clamps attached to many sensitive parts of my body, whipped and paddled, and finally forced to masturbate and perhaps swallow my own cum did work for awhile, I needed to get to the next level but had no idea how. I needed to move from feeling like I was playing a game to some genuine fear. 

A business trip to San Francisco, always a destination I eagerly anticipate, did not give me any reason to suspect that things were going to change soon. After a day of meetings I took a walk through the Union Square area, and picked up a local newspaper to see if I could find an interesting destination for my evenings fun. After flipping through ads for local clubs I came to the classified ads section. Many were routine escort ads describing impossibly beautiful women for hire. Some advertised dominant services, as usual causing a slight tingling in my lower regions. I was especially intrigued by the ads for several Asian mistresses, a novelty not often available on the east coast, and considered making a call. It was then that the ad jumped out at me. EXCRUCIATING. Extreme genital torture for men only. The ad shook me to my core. I kept reading it over and over. As I read further into the paper I kept coming back to it, and felt my heart race and breathing quicken each time I read it. I knew that this described that new plateau I needed, beyond having your butt paddled crimson. Genital torture, the thought makes you feel so vulnerable, so helpless. It goes to the core of vulnerability as a man. Just reading the ad had me sweating, but it also had created an uncomfortable bulge in my pants and a rapidly spreading spot of pre-cum on my underwear. However, there was a catch. Excruciating. Extreme genital torture for men only. Call Roger. 

I am not gay, or even bi-sexual. I have never found a man to be even remotely attractive. I soon found myself imagining a submissive scene with a guy, and found the added humiliation of submitting to a man starting to turn me on even more. I dialed the phone. Roger sounded like any average guy, well spoken, articulate, intelligent. I described my interests to him, and he listened enthusiastically. 

He then described a life-long fascination with genital torture, particularly torturing a guy's balls. "As long as I can remember, punishing a guys balls makes my dick hard", is how Roger described his obsession. We talked about safety and safe sex issues, and set a time for the following night. I was terrified at what I had gotten myself into, but was also unbearably aroused. I couldn't even imagine what I had signed up for, and was somewhat disgusted at the thought of being forced to submit to a guy. The next 24 hours were filled with a constant flip flop between not showing up, and unbearable curiosity. Finally I found myself standing outside the Castro area address, and knew that decision time was now. I rang the bell.

Roger was a regular looking guy. On the short side, stocky and muscular, 40ish. He greeted me with a firm handshake and a warm hello. He showed me into a spare room with two directors chairs, a small table on which we set cold drinks, and a massive king sized bed. The bed had the largest posts at each corner I had ever seen in a bed frame, at least 8"x 8". Each post had a heavy steel ring attached. The post and ring combination could easily hold back livestock. I started to sweat. It was obvious that once I allowed myself to be attached to those rings, my balls were totally at the mercy of this man I had just met. 

My fears were not assuaged when I asked what he used for safewords. Roger looked amused, and said, "I don't really use them. As far as I'm concerned, the dick doesn't lie. If I'm into a scene and the dick stays hard, I keep going. If the dick starts going down, I go a different direction." Despite all evidence to the contrary, Roger seemed like a normal, intelligent guy and I felt I could trust him. When he said it was time to get undressed, I followed his instructions. This was when my first shock came, as Roger stood and quickly removed all of his clothing as well. I was now naked in the presence of another naked man, a situation I had been in many times, but was suddenly incredibly disturbing when the setting was not a locker room but a bedroom for the purpose of sexual pleasure. I was near panic when Roger instructed me to lay face up in the center of the bed, and then he climbed on top of me. I didn't know what to do, and froze as Roger just laid on top of me. After a long silence, Roger instructed me to put my arms around him. We laid in that position for several minutes. Finally Roger got up and started attaching leather bracelets around my wrists and ankles. He carefully attached each limb to one of the massive posts, and I was now spread quite tightly and securely to the bed. Rogers muscular body loomed over me, with his above average sized cock semi hard. I had no idea what to expect, and was legitimately afraid for the first time in a D&S scene. 

Roger next made the whole safeword issue moot, as he worked a ball gag into my mouth and buckled it behind my head. My cock was pointing skyward, a fact I found terribly embarrassing in the presence of a man. Roger made note of this as he climbed off the bed, slapping my erection a little harder than I would have preferred. "God didn't do you any favors, did he?" noted Roger about my 5 inch erection. "Doesn't matter, big or small, they all hurt the same." 

Roger approached the bed with what appeared to be a two headed electric massager. He told me that this first device would make me feel uncomfortable, but shouldn't hurt. For the next ten minutes the massager buzzed loudly as Roger cupped my balls and worked the massage heads all over and around my testicles. Just as he predicted, the sensation was uncomfortable and a little achy, but not painful. Still I was relieved when Roger finally shut the device off. I breathed deeply for a few minutes and rested. Roger busied himself with our next device. 

Before I could see what our next round of fun would entail, Roger cupped my balls and started bouncing them lightly in his hand. My dick was rock hard and drooling a little. In his other hand Roger held something that induced nothing short of terror in me, a blindfold. Without asking me, he slipped it over my eyes and the room went black. I was scared of what could be happening on the other side of the blindfold, and tried to express my fear. The ball gag made sure that all I could do was make a mmmmff sound. I could hear chains rattling, and a device being fitted to my balls. Roger told me to flatten my back and lift my hips so that my balls were lifted up high. He explained that it makes the pain more bearable for reasons that he has never understood. I complied as I felt something tighten around my balls. Roger next ordered me to count to five slowly. The sound of me counting was amusing, as the ball gag muffled each word. As I counted, a discomfort in my balls would gradually increase, and at five I would gasp for air and focus on the throbbing. Eventually, the pain would level off and become bearable. Roger would then order me to start the counting process over. This process was repeated five times. By the third time I was hoping we would stop, at five times the throbbing was unbearable. I started grunting and my hips bucked, which only caused the device to bounce and increase the throbbing. Roger was laughing. He leaned over and said in a low voice, "Wanna see the fun we've been having?" The blindfold was pulled off, and Roger lifted my head with one hand. With his other hand he lifted a chain. Attached to one end of the chain was a pair of clear Lucite 6" x 6" panels with bolts in each corner. Wingnuts on the bolts controlled how snug the panels got. Sandwiched between the Lucite panels were my grotesquely flattened balls. The sight was horrifying, and Roger knew the effect it would have on me. I sucked air desperately through my gag, panicked by the sight of my flattened balls. Despite the pain, my fear, and my feeling of panic, my cock was rigidly erect. As Roger started to loosen the wingnuts he continued to chuckle. The sight of my intense erection fascinated me, as I was becoming acutely aware of how turned on I was despite the abuse my balls were taking. With my wrists still tightly bound, I now became aware for the first time that Roger not only was free to do what he wanted with my private parts, but he also controlled my increasing sexual need. This frightened me as Roger was also sporting an intense erection of his own that was significantly larger than mine, indicating he might soon be demanding more than just free access to my nuts. 

Roger however, was nowhere near done using my balls as playtoys. A bracelet was attached around my scrotum above my balls, forcing my now swollen and tender balls into a tightly stretched lower portion of my nutsack. As I watched in horror, he pulled out a wooden kitchen spoon. He announced the new game, fifty lovetaps per testicle with me counting out loud. As he detailed my instructions, he was unsnapping the ball gag. As the ball popped free, I slowly started to flex my aching jaw. The aching jaw became secondary though as the spoon rapped my left testicle, after a few seconds the spoon rapped a second time. 

"Since you can't seem to count, we will have to start over." Roger chuckled. The rapping started over. Each rap was consistent in severity, but the spacing was erratic. Sometimes there would be a ten second or more gap between raps, sometimes there would be three or four in rapid succession. At thirty raps, my left nut was ached like never before, and pain radiated through my abdomen. I tried to block out the pain and keep my complete focus on counting, knowing I could not survive starting over. I gritted my teeth through the last ten, and at fifty I felt jubilation, and intense pain. I writhed silently on the bed, sweat pored off my body. I temporarily forgot about Roger, so focussed was I on the ache in my groin. As the pain slowly subsided I started to become aware of Roger's presence in the room. He was kneeling over me, spoon in hand, grinning. His now condom covered dick jutted upward at a 45 degree angle. It was much larger than my cock, and looked as much like a weapon as anything else in the room. I suddenly realized my right testicle was due for it's fifty whacks. I started to beg that we not go forward with the spoon game. Roger listened bemusedly, and idly stroked his hard-on a few times. He finally asked, "Are we ready to start counting?" I knew that it was a rhetorical question. 

The thumping started again, and followed the same erratic pattern. I counted each thump out loud, gasping between each one. At thirty, it seem like he had been beating my right testicle forever, and yet there was still forever to go. Roger paused for a moment and eyed my sweat soaked body. He looked toward the end of the bed, I tried to see what he was looking at. Without warning the spoon slapped my nut again while I was distracted. Somehow, the pain was much worse when I wasn't prepared. I gasped, just barely remembering to count 31 , Roger laughed heartily. "Surprised you, didn't I." My balls, snug when the bracelet was first snapped on my scrotum, had now stretched the skin super tight as they swelled to fill their package. Roger gave me another swat, and said, "What do you say we get these last few over with." 

Eighteen rapid drumbeats rained down on my captive testicle in machine gun fashion, I gritted my teeth and barked out the numbers. I settled into an overwhelming ache after the last blow, and could only focus on the radiating pain. I was unaware, and uncaring, of Rogers activities as tried to surf down the slope of slowly diminishing pain. After what seemed like hours, I opened my eyes to find Roger laying on his side next to me. He was enjoying watching my pain induced dance, and was masturbating in a lazy fashion. He noticed me watching his nonchalant handjob, and glancing at my own rock hard and drooling cock said, "I bet you wish you could do this about now too, huh. Let's see if I have something that can help that little dick of yours get even harder." 

Despite the ache in my groin, my state of arousal had me feeling quite desperate. I had no idea what Roger had in mind, but felt genuine fear of being forced to endure even more intense arousal with no ability to get myself off. I felt a swell of envy for this man with a much larger cock who could get off anytime he wanted, and an intense humiliation at being forced to become desperately turned on at the hands of a man. For a moment, the throbbing in my balls was secondary to the complete control of me Roger now had because of my rock hard erection. Roger now approached me with a tube of KY Jelly, and what I quickly recognized as a cock ring. He lubed the ring thoroughly, and then set it lightly on the tip of my cockhead as he gently held my dick. My cock jerked involuntarily. Roger gripped the ring with two fingers and his thumb, and in one expert motion shoved it all the way down to the base of my cock. Immediately my cock bulged out around the ring. Having worn a ring before, I knew very well what was going to happen. Fitted correctly as this ring most definitely was, it dramatically restricts the flow of blood out of the erect cock. This has two building effects. The cock becomes grotesquely swollen with a much more intense erection. It also turns the cock a reddish purple. You feel as if you are going to burst. Left in place, it becomes a very slow and difficult process to lose your erection, often keeping you hard without stimulation for an hour or more. This intense erection also makes you crave ejaculation in a way you never have before. 

Once before a kinky girlfriend had invited me back to her apartment. She invited me into her bedroom, pulled her sweater over her head, and asked me to undress. Once I was undressed, she handcuffed my wrists behind my back. She slid a cockring on my semi-hard dick and stroked me to full erection in a way that was effective but without any passion or even interest. Not understanding the effect of the cockring, I enjoyed the view as she stood before me in tight jeans and a black lace bra. She leaned over and whispered, "I'm going to enjoy this alot more than you tonight." I didn't know what she meant, but was enjoying the view of her full 36C breasts overflowing her bra. She caught my gaze, and covered her cleavage with her hand. Glancing at my raging erection, she said "I see these have done their work for the evening." I groaned as she reached for a top, and pulled on a tight t-shirt. She took out a Polaroid camera and quickly took several pictures over my protests. Without any explanation she produced a tape measure, and measured my erection in a very business like fashion. She wrote 5 1/16" on the back of a photo and chuckled. By now the cock ring was taking it's toll, and my breathing was becoming ragged. As my hips began moving rhythmically I started to tire of this game, and was anxious to get my tool somewhere warm and wet. She then told me what my fate would be. I was not allowed to see or touch those magnificent breasts, not now, not ever. Further, from now on I could only pleasure her with my tongue . My sexual pleasure, when it was allowed, would only come from my own hand, and only if she was completely happy with my performance. 

She sat and watched, laughing as I was panting and unconsciously humping the air. Since it was obvious to both of us who was in control, she had assumed a very authoritarian air. Her next instructions were very specific, say one word without permission and you don't get off tonight. While I had never seen her like this before, I knew she was serious. I was ordered to my knees, and forced to lick pussy for an hour. A kitchen timer ticked off the minutes while the cockring enhanced hardon hammered away, my jaw and knees ached. She writhed through orgasm after orgasm. At the end of an hour I begged like never before as she sprawled before me, laughing and casually smoking a cigarette. The timer was set again, and I spent fifteen minutes doing the one thing I had told her I would never do, working my tongue into her asshole until she got off for about the tenth time that night. The bitter taste didn't leave my mouth for hours. She then set the same kitchen timer for another twenty minutes so I could stare at my grossly swollen and discolored cock, and think about what a gift it would be if she allowed me to get off. This gave her time to set up the video camera, and film me contorting as I knelt on the floor jerking myself to a mind shattering orgasm. Half an hour later, the ring finally came off my slowly shrinking, aching dick. 

The video tape ensured that all future sex between us consisted of me licking pussy until she was sated, then leaving with a hard cock and damp underwear. I never did reach that threshold of pleasing her to the point she would allow me to jerk off, and was told I never would with a 5" dick. She loved to tell me about the size of other lovers, pointing out that my undersized cock reached barely half way to my navel. She would reach under her shirt a caress her breasts as the talk of large penises obviously aroused her. I could only dream of how those full, firm breasts and hard nipples felt. She would enjoy a post coital cigarette and tell me of other lovers who were 8 inches or more, and extended well beyond their navel when erect. One time she even showed me a photo of a "friend" she was screwing regularly, as he proudly displayed an enormous hard-on. It was more than twice as long as my cock on it's best day and appeared to be as thick as a soda can. Her only complaint was that she couldn't fit all of it in her, and his incredible stamina often left her sore. As I stared in open mouthed amazement she laughed. She pushed her breasts together creating enormous cleavage and said, "You better believe he gets to touch these anytime he wants." I moaned in frustration, as it was her large breasts that had first attracted me to her and they were now strictly off limits. I continued to stare at the photo, deeply envious of his enormous tool and the effect it must have on women. I knew that my small endowment never inspired anything but disappointment, while his created jaw-dropping lust. "Do you always get this turned on staring at a big dick," she asked as she nudged my rock hard cock. To my horror, my cock had stood straight up as I stared at the picture. "I guess everyone likes a huge hard-on," she laughed, "but neither of us will ever know what it's like to have one."

This memory flooded back as I stared at my darkening and bulging member. I knew that not only was I at the mercy of this man who loved to punish my balls, but this simple ring would quickly turn me into a panting, desperate sex slave. The process was inevitable, and I was helpless to stop it. It made no difference that my owner was now a muscular guy with an 8" cock, he controlled when and if I would get off that evening. The cockring was quickly making getting off the only thing that mattered to me. As my hardon throbbed, Roger busied himself with black attaché like device, pulling from the case two wires that he attached to the bracelet that was still wrapped around my scrotum. I watched with intense curiosity, and couldn't help noticing how bizarre my groin now looked. My nuts, swollen and purplish looking, were cinched tight in their nutsack, wires running from their bracelet captor. My cock was grotesquely swollen and scarlet, with pre-cum oozing in a steady slick over the head. 




Surrendering My Balls



Roger was now ready for our next game. He gave me simple instructions. Every time he said "Now" I was to count to five in a slow steady manner. I nodded affirmative that I understood. On the first command I counted slowly as directed, a steady buzzing surged through my balls. Not uncomfortable, almost pleasant. So pleasant that my already bursting erection surged even more. I groaned as my arousal intensified. 

" Welcome to the ultimate mix of pleasure and pain," Roger said. " This machine could get you off, but in the worst way possible. Soon the jolt to your balls will become very uncomfortable, then quite painful. At the same time it will stimulate those erectile muscles, making your dick even harder. Eventually your cock and balls will hurt so bad you will want to beg me to stop, but you will be so close to shooting off you will want to beg me to continue." I somehow sensed that he knew what he was talking about. "Now" came the next command and I counted as ordered. This process repeated over and over, with each surge of electricity more powerful than the one coming before it. My eyes rolled back from the electrical surge, and my balls tingled and throbbed. Each jolt made my dick jerk and throb intensely. My need to cum was now at least double what it had ever been before. Each count of five brought me closer to the climax that I craved with every ounce of my being, but no where near close enough. Each count of five also brought a jolting agony to my nuts, and a rush of adrenaline to my hardon was torturous. While the pain was almost intolerable, I craved the next jolt, sure that just a little stronger surge would put me over the top. My hips thrust desperately into the air hoping to somehow find the friction I so desperately needed. All dignity and control was lost. I was so close to the orgasm I needed more than any other release I had ever craved. 

After this total breakdown of all control had taken hold of me, a full fifteen minutes of the electricity treatment, I noticed something different and started to panic. Three straight sessions of jolts seemed to stay the same, the intensity didn't increase. Somehow, in the throes of my thrusting I sensed that a jolt just one or two degrees stronger would finally get me off. Instead, I kept hearing "Now", my counting would start, my cock and balls would get their jolt, but I would get no closer to Nirvana. I thrusted harder and faster, futilely trying to compensate. The next few counts even seemed to diminish in intensity and my panic intensified. Without even thinking, I began to beg. I pleaded for more juice, for the jolt that would finally relieve the torture in my groin. I drooled as I pleaded, I was far beyond dignity at this point. 

Then the worst finally happened, Roger didn't say Now anymore. Instead he kneeled over my face, his huge erection jutting perpendicular to his body. He reached across me, letting his balls drag across my face, and started to unbuckle my wrist. He dragged his heavy balls back across my face again, and unbuckled the other wrist. My arms were stiff and sore, and couldn't move. Pulling me up to a sitting position, he fastened my wrists behind my back. He now waddled forward until his hard dick was directly in front of my mouth. 

"Better do a good job, because you are still hooked up to the machine," he admonished. "Do a great job," he said glancing down at my hideously swollen shaft, "and I'll let you get off in the next hour." The Next Hour! my mind screamed. I needed it now, this second, I couldn't wait another second. My desperation was so acute, that I couldn't even be disgusted at thought of putting another man's penis in my mouth. I could only focus on doing anything necessary to earn ejaculation. I was totally defeated. 

I launched forward and sucked hungrily. I felt my forehead being pushed back. "Slowly, carefully!" he said, "I like to savor when I make a straight guy suck dick for the first time." I carefully returned to my task, trying every trick I knew. My tongue and lips caressed his long shaft and head. His hand touched the back of my head, and I sensed that I needed to take more. Gagging slightly, I worked my way down, eventually making my way to the base. His head was at the entrance to my throat, and he murmured appreciatively. After many minutes of slow patient suckling, I started to pick up the tempo. His noises indicated he was getting close. His hands closed around my head and started jamming my head up and down in a violent face fucking. Roger's balls smashed against my chin repeatedly. Finally he held my head hard against his groin, buried to the max against my face, and filled his condom. He held me there for a few moments, and then fell away. 

I propped myself on my elbows, and caught my breath. I watched as Roger got up, and left the room, leaving me alone on the bed. My dick throbbed, but I was powerless to do anything about it. I could only stare and hope Roger returned soon. I had held up my end of the bargain it seemed, and felt a perverse pride that I had delivered a great blowjob to a man who had tortured my genitals for the last 90 minutes. I now deserved relief from my unyielding hardon. Finally Roger returned, having cleaned up from his orgasm. He flopped on the bed and started playfully fingering the length of my throbbing shaft. I gasped and tried to hump his hand. We played cat and mouse, him giving me only the slightest friction on my dick, me humping desperately. 

"Faggot, tell me what you want", he sneered. 

"Please let me get off." I begged. 

"Why should you get off?" he retorted. 

"I did what you wanted." I pleaded. 

"No, you did what you wanted. You wanted to suck my dick. You wanted it from the first time you saw it. Tell me." 

I had no hesitation. I pleaded, telling him how much I enjoyed giving him a blowjob, how badly I had wanted his dick in his mouth. With more prodding, I went on to praise his magnificent organ, and apologized for my own pathetic tool. The more I praised his cock, going on about it's extraordinary length, girth, and beauty, the more friction I would get on my own aching rod. I tried to discreetly push against his finger that he was using to tickle my drooling cock. Roger had obviously done this many times before, as he was an expert at repeatedly bringing me maddeningly close to orgasm, only to refuse to let me have that last stroke I needed. I was now crazed, my cock had been fully erect, in a state of intense arousal for two hours. 

To make matters worse, Roger had now fully recovered from his blowjob, and his penis was stretching back out to its fully engorged size. Keeping my feet tied firmly to the bed and my hands bound behind me, Roger guided my head back to his lap and pushed my mouth down on his dick. I sucked eagerly, and moaned after he pulled his dick away from me. 

Now openly panting, I stared at his swollen tip only inches from my face. I felt desperate need for his huge dick, and sensed what I was now required to do. I begged earnestly for the privilege of sucking him again. Roger pushed me onto my back, and straddled me. With his left hand he roughly grabbed my aching nuts, his right was wrapped around his full erection. His hand could not wrap completely around his engorged shaft. He began rhythmically stroking his dick and squeezing my nuts. With each stroke I grimaced and he got hotter. When I thought I could take no more, Roger let out one last grunt and came in gobs on my chest. He sighed and sat backwards, laughed and slapped my nuts. I moaned, but couldn't move. Roger left his cum drying on my chest.

I had given up begging, it was apparent that Roger was going to do whatever he chose with me. He climbed off my bound body and retrieved several items from a side table. I watched in horror as he tore two 6" strips off of a roll of duct tape. He sandwiched my hard cock between the two strips, and stuck them together. He pulled me into a sitting position, and then pulled my hardon down between my legs. I groaned and jack knifed forward. Roger then used the duct tape to tape my cock to my left thigh, pointing downward. My tape encased dick was still wearing the cockring, ensuring it would stay hard for a long time. Roger then took string and tightly wound it around my scrotum, then down between my balls. He pulled it snug, forcing my nuts into two very tight but separate sacs. Separate string was tied around my ankles. Roger took long rubber bands and tied my nuts to my ankles with my knees bent. If I tried to straighten my legs, it was obvious that the pull on my nuts would be very powerful. Having finished this, Roger began releasing me from my ankle and wrist restraints. As soon as I was free he tossed my clothes at me and barked, "Get dressed and get out." I couldn't stand without great pain. If I straightened up, my hard dick screamed in pain from being held in a downward position. The duct tape would take hours to peel off my hairy thighs. If I straightened my legs, my already swollen balls would be pulled painfully. Walking was out of the question. "You can't do this to me, " I pleaded. "I already have," Roger smugly retorted. "The pain is bad enough, but you can't even jerk off for a few hours till you can get home and cut that tape off." Roger laughed. 

I hobbled out to my car, aching every step, my balls ready to burst. I was bent over double as I crossed the street, my throbbing hardon not allowing me to straighten up. Two and half hours later the excruciating process of peeling off the tape was completed, and my purple cock was exposed. I jerked off repeatedly, each orgasmic spasm sending pain shooting through my battered balls. I was haunted by the image of Roger's massive organ waving tauntingly in front of my begging lips. Envy filled me as I looked at my own puny cock. Not only was his dick superior to mine, but I now knew what price I would have to pay for the privilege of having that gorgeous, powerful cock in my mouth. I now consider this to be a fair deal.



Surrendering to Hannah



A wicked smile creeps onto Hannahs face.

"I'm pretty sure your over-thinking this Pete," she muses, "it's very straight forward; we're both single, both looking for the same thing and horny as hell, so why not fool around?" To punctuate her point Hannah slides a hand onto my thigh.

It takes an Olympian effort not to flinch and to control my cock that perks up like a puppy hearing the doorbell.

"Damn it Hannah I'm not over thinking I'm trying to be responsible."

Her hand slides down my leg then back up, finger tips following the inside seam of my trousers. I start talking more quickly.

"I'm just out of a relationship having gone through a pretty fucking atrocious break up, we only know each other through work where I was your supervisor right up until you got fired and I'm 8 years your senior."

I lose my temper and grab her hand, pulling it away before she reaches my crotch. With my other hand I grip her shoulder and push her away from me, harder than I intended too. Hannah puts on a shocked expression, but her wicked smile creeps back onto her face as I continue.

"It's not fucking appropriate! I'd just be taking advantage, using you!" I close my ayes for a moment and regain my composure. "I'm trying to do the right thing." I say calmly, looking Hannah in the eye.

Hannahs expression changes immediately. Her playful smile vanishes, replaced with a look of something between sympathy and pity. "The right thing? For who? Me? I'm a fucking grown up Pete, I choose my sex partners." She pushes back freeing her hand and closing the gap between us again. "No one takes advantage of me unless I want them too, I don't need protecting and I'm fully aware of what's happening here, more so than you it would seem. Allow me to explain, perhaps I can crack through that foolish gentlemanly bravado of yours."

As she speaks she slowly and deliberately starts to unbutton my trousers all the while talking down to me like I'm a schoolboy.

"You've been stuck in an apparently pointless relationship but now your free. I know that hiding in that cool calm exterior is a beast that wants loose. Your resisting me because your ashamed of it, scared of it even, worried what you might do or how I might react." A hand slides into my trousers and starts searching out my cock.

"Well I can tell you Pete with almost crystal clear clarity that I want the same thing as you. I want sex Pete, all kinds of sex. I want a partner willing to play out my fantasies, to include me in theirs."

Finally free my dick pops out of my fly almost on cue, guided by Hannah's hand.

"Holy shit." Is all the response I can manage as Hannah's hand starts to slide up and down my shaft, that wicked little smile is back on her face.

"I want to be used Pete, and more importantly I want to use you."  She sits forward getting as close to me as she can and her right hand continues to stroke my member as she leans in and kisses me. Our tongues dart around each other as the kiss escalates, becoming more hungry and passionate until suddenly she pulls away.

"Allow me to prove it to you," Hannah purrs before leaning forward and down toward my cock.

Hannah's quick movements catch me off guard and as her warm wet mouth engulfs the tip of my prick I call out in shock, she slides her right hand up to my chest as though to calm me but keeps sliding up and down my shaft with her left.

My helmet slides in and out of her mouth, her lips tight around its rim. The sensation is incredible and I can already feel my orgasm build as she relentlessly works my cock with her mouth and hand. As though sensing this she stops stroking with her hand and instead holds me upright and pops me out of her mouth with a wet slurp. After glancing up at my dumbfounded expression she starts kissing and licking up and down the shaft.

I melt into the seat, completely at her mercy, and reach up with my right hand to grip the back of her head as she works. As though on queue she runs her tongue up the shaft to the very tip and then without a pause slides about half of me into her mouth. She sucks her cheeks in and clamps her lips tight; her mouth is hot, wet and tight around my shaft as she starts sliding up and down it.

"Oh jebus, your a devil woman." I yell, grabbing a hand full of her hair and gritting my teeth as her head bobs up and down on my lap.  "How am I possibly supposed to resist this!" 

I watch in awe as she twists her head each time she slides up, her jaw working as she squeezes my dick between the roof of her mouth and her tongue. When she pushes back down a wet slurp escapes the vacuum of her mouth each time. She shifts in her seat so into a kneeling position, her butt wiggling up against the window on her side of the car. Her right arm grasps the door handle on my side so as to brace herself, the left arm slides up her shirt to cup her breast where I watch her massage and tweak beneath the tightened fabric.

I let go of her hair with my hand and swiftly bring it down onto her right butt-cheek with a crack before beginning to stroke and squeeze. I'm rewarded for my slap with Hannah lightly gripping my shaft between her teeth as she slides up it. The sensation makes me growl with desire and my hips buck, pushing myself back up into her mouth. I feel rampant now, my body is desperate to cum pushing my hips up with each down stroke forcing Hannah to quicken the pace, but as I squeeze and stroke her ass my mind it desperate to plunge my cock into Hannah and make her squeal with ecstasy.

The sight of Hannah's bum wiggling in response to my strokes and the thought of plunging into her hot wet pussy accelerates the effects of her sucking, and with a determined grunt I move to pull Hannah off me so as to begin tearing off her clothes, but Hannah pushes me down and keeps working, faster and more noisily than before. I open my mouth to protest and explain my plan to ravish her with my incredible manly sex powers, but all that comes out is a garbled series of moans and compliments.

Surrendering to the inevitable I grasp Hannah's head with both hands, pulling her hair away from her face with one, so as to afford me a better view, and massaging the back of her neck with the other.

My orgasm charges through me moments later, I gasp for air and buck my hips up to ensure I'm enclosed by Hannah's wet warm mouth and she clamps down on me as I start to cum. I bark animalistic grunts as my load bursts into her mouth, she quickly grips the base of my shaft and rapidly pumps her hand up and down as she slides her mouth up so as to only hold the head in her mouth, licking it with her tongue and coaxing out my orgasm as much as she can. The sensation drives me wild and I grunt and scream as my climax abates and my now incredibly sensitive cock is teased.

Finally Hannah releases me with a sickly wet slurp and I collapse into my seat gasping for air, legs and back soaked with sweat. Being exposed to the cold air so suddenly makes me wince and grin with delight. It takes me a few moment to even manage to open my eyes and when I do I see Hannah grinning at me from the passenger seat.

"You certainly look proud of yourself." I croak, smiling at her.

"It's always nice to see one's talents appreciated", Hannah retorts before leaning in and pecking me on the cheek. "That is also just the beginning, so please remember that you owe me."

With that she opens the door on her side and climbs out of the car. I watch unable to move as she bounces, jogs and skips up toward her door, just before she disappears inside she turns and blows me a kiss. Finally the door slams shut and she's gone.

It takes me quite a while to gather the energy to tidy myself up and drive home. Hannah's perfume lingers in the car, the scent mixed with the smell of my own sweat and cum. Images of her flash through my mind as I drive, fighting to keep my attention on the road. By the time I arrive at my drive way the image of her framed in her doorway winking with the promise of so much more to come is burned into my memory and as I slide out of the car I realize I am, once again, rock hard.



Surrendering To Myself



I'm submitting this even though I'm not sure I'm done with it yet. Mostly because I'm worried that if I wait, I won't do it. smile


It had been a long time since I was single, and even longer since I was alone on Christmas Eve.

"Jessi, this isn't working. I just need someone more...adult,"David had said, 4 weeks ago.

I thought about crying. Actually, I did cry, but not much. I agreed with him.

Not in that catty 'yeah, you sure fucking do' kind of way, but more in a 'You know, you are right, lets call it a wash' kind of way.

The thing is, we were both in our mid-thirties, both professional, both responsible, but, to be honest, he was a grown-up. And when I met someone new, they just assumed I was 25.

Its not a looks thing, though I have done a decent job with these curves of mine. Its an attitude, a way of looking at life.

I suppose I'll never grow up, not in the way David means, at least.

But thats OK.

But this wee lass was all on her own for the holiday (you couldn't have paid me to go home and deal with the family and THEIR reaction to the breakup).

To be honest, I just felt good. A twenty minute crying bout and then, well, I was happy. I could live my life again. Claire, my daughter from a much earlier relationship, had just gone back to her first semester at college so I was alone in the townhouse. I broke out the bottle of bourbon and had a couple of drinks, and then I knew what to do.

"Melissa, what are you doing tonight?" I whispered conspiratorially into my cell phone.

She giggled. "Nothing. Jerry took the overnight shift to watch the servers."

"What are you wearing?"

"Pervert." 

We laughed, it was an old joke.

"Get decked out. We're going to Lansdown Street. Dancing until they kick us out. Digweed is spinning."

"You are a VERY bad girl. I call Rachel and we'll pick you up in at 10:00."

"I'll be waiting with bells on!"

And so it began. We went out every weekend night for three weeks. Just us, no boys allowed.

I felt a little bad about that, though I think Rach and Melissa kind of enjoyed it too. Men, boys, don't understand that dancing looks sexual, but its more sensual, not a good hard fucking, more like just touching before the first kiss. I don't know if that makes any sense, but thats how I describe it. And, well, the boys would have just been trying to get Rachel or Mel to come home, or at least to the car.

Not that there's anything wrong with that at all.

And me? I was going out even more often. This was a slow time at work, so I didn't have to be much more than conscious to get through. And every night I saw these two amazing girls. A redhead who glowed in the dark and her friend who had hair so black she must have dyed it or been part Asian. I was pretty sure they were too young to be in a 21+ club, but, then again, so were half the people here. Not that many people were drinking alcohol anyways, doesn't mix very well with Ecstasy.

We began to notice each other, just smile and wink, and sometimes they'd come over and dance with me for a while.

I loved that. I was straight, but the intimacy of dancing with these two, it was like I had made two new best friends. Our hands roamed, hips gyrated, and we laughed.

Each night they'd blow me a kiss as they left.

This was exactly where I needed to be. A sort of recess from the real world.

But now it was Xmas eve, and, of course, Rachel and Mel were busy, and Claire was spending the holiday with her father.

I went to the club's website, expecting to see that it was closed.

I should never have worried. In fact, they were staying open late and had an amazing lineup of Djs. I'm pretty sure I was listening to one of them the night I got pregnant with Claire.

I let that thought roll around in my head for a bit.

Then into the tub with a drink.

I shaved my legs, and then my fingers started to wander, the hot water making my skin so sensitive and aware. Running slowly up my thighs and hips, along my ribs. I bit my lower lip as they cupped my breasts, lifting slightly so the cool air could caress my nipples, now hard and eager.

I became detached from my hands, as if someone else was touching me.

I came loudly, as if I'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

I spend a few lazy moments suckling on my salty fingers and finishing my drink.

Finally, I stepped from the bath, and looked at myself in the mirror.

I wasn't obsessive about exercising, but I used the stairmaster pretty regularly and it showed.

My legs were curvy but firm, and I knew from experience that I could crush the air out of someone between my thighs. My breasts were soft and luscious, as I've been told. A perfect, round c-cup, a stray lock of my auburn hair curling around on nipple. My tummy wasn't quite flat, and my ass was a bit big, but I was 35, what can you do? And, really, if my body had been perfect, I still would have found SOMETHING wrong. 

It wasn't too bad outside that night, just a little chilly, so I put on a pair of black pantyhose that had little patterns that show up only in black-light. And no panties. Whats the point?

I grabbed a pretty, black babydoll top, with a nice bit of support worked in, and a purple mini-skirt slit so far up one side that David never let me wear it out. But it moved with me when I danced like a partner.

Then a pair of chunky black heels finished it out.

I simply could not dance on those spindly 3-inch heels some girls wore.

In the mirror I couldn't decide what to wear for make-up.

I giggled as I remembered the glittery eye-shadow and lipstick I bought that matched to color of the skirt perfectly.

I gave myself a once over in the mirror.

"Slut." I whispered with a smile.

Then I gave myself a kiss in the glass, leaving a purple pair of lips.

The taxi was honking its horn.

I was surprised to find that there was actually a bit of a line to get in. Looking around at all the young flesh, it looked like some students just couldn't go home for the holiday. The Boston/Cambridge area gets a lot of students from all over the world. And with a lot of money. 

Inside, I let the warmth wrap around me as I took it all in, the fog, the lights, the misters. No real music yet, it was still early.

And a long night ahead.

Surprisingly, I saw my two new 'friends' at a small table.

More surprisingly, when the redhead saw me and smiled and waved me over, I nearly blushed.

"Hi there, stranger!" Black-hair said.

"Hi yourself!" I smiled back.

"Come here often?" said Red.

We laughed.

I could tell from they way their eyes darted about that they were both rolling on E.

"You two look like you are having a good time." I winked.

"Why else would we be here? Why else would you be here? I'm Moira," Red introduced herself, "and this is Denise." She extended her hand, which I took. It was warm and soft and she turned my hand, wrist up and placed a kiss on my pulse.

I must have gasped.

I know I shivered.

They laughed.

"Bad, bad babygirl!" I laughed with them.

"If thats 'bad' to you, then its a good thing you and your boyfriend broke up when you did," Denise said.

"Wait, what? Did I tell you about that? I don't..."

"Nah, but for a woman like you, showing up here suddenly all the time? What else could it be?"

"Pretty smart for a kid, aren't you?"

All three of us shared a smile.

"Pretty Mommy isn't going to tell us her name, I think." from Denise.

They both scowled at me.

"Oh jeez, sorry, I'm Jessica...everyone calls me Jessi."

"We're you a clubkid from back in the day?"

"Oh my fucking god, know how to make a girl feel old, don't you, Denise? But yeah, some. I was never one of the serious ravers, but I never seemed to get it out of my system, I just pushed it all aside for a few years."

I watched with interest as Moira took a deep, shuddering breath, a wave of E rippling through her.

"God, I remember that."

"We've got more, if you want. You really should, the music will be like hands all over you, dancing with you."

I remembered vividly. I felt the inside of my thigh quiver, my heart race just a bit, and a metallic taste came to my mouth.

"No...thanks but there may be some things I really am too old for."

"Poor Mommy Jessica, no treats for her."

"I can't imagine why she doesn't want to feel like..." Moira ran a fingernail down Denise's bare spine. The dark haired girl's mouth opened into a perfect 'O', held without breath, before half collapsing onto the table.

"Like this."

My mouth was watering. I almost felt that fingernail on my back.

"This is what being young can be, Mommy Jessica. Don't you want to be here with us?"

I was feeling a little dizzy, overwhelmed at how strong the sensations were just from memory.

I couldn't believe I was giving in to peer pressure from girls my daughter's age.

I couldn't believe I whispered "Yes."

It felt good to give in. Like I could now relax. It would all be OK.

My eyelids drooped as Denise placed the pill on my tounge and I swallowed with a sip of water.

"Be careful, Mommy Jessica, its very strong, and comes on very fast."

My eyes closed, a "Yesss," slithered from my lips.

They talked to me, but I was just lost in the moment of surrendering to myself, to who I wanted to be.

They asked me about Claire, about my other friends, about my club days.

Then I eased into the evening.

And they noticed as I came back to the here and now.

"We were getting a little worried there for a moment, we thought we'd have to kiss you to wake you up from your daze."

We laughed.

"Kind of a flashback, I guess. Us oldtimers can get a little senile, too. But I'm here with you now."

I could start to feel the drug coursing through me. I couldn't help but wonder if I was too old to make a booty-call to an ex.

The music started to ramp up.

And so did we. In a moment we were on the dancefloor.

Denise was dancing in front of me, our bodies were familiar after so many nights. We moved together as we had before. A very pretty boy, who showed potential, was staring at us.

I felt the bass moving all through me, I lived for the deep rhythmic sounds. The music grabbed my hips and tossed me about. It parted my thighs like a powerful lover before insertion. It pulled my hair with strength and delight.

Fingers in my mane.

I knew they were Moira's.

She was behind me, moving me, just as Denise was before me, guiding me.

Moira's hand moved down my side, then to my tummy. I could feel her pelvis against my behind. I could feel her strength.

The drug was electric. This was what it wanted.

I felt her fingers shape around the underside of my breast.

But, this was not what I wanted.

I started to twist away, but Denise moved closer, keeping me.

"Please...I'm not..." I whimpered.

"Yes, you are," came Moira's whispered reply in my ear. Her lips barely touching my skin.

I'd been too playful. Given off the wrong signals.

The drug sang in my blood as fingernails ran along my outer thigh, putting runs in my pantyhose.

Adrenaline hit me.

I struggled more, gave one final twist of my body, but almost fell to my knees when teeth touched my neck.

I felt tears on my cheeks as their hands moved over me.

The pure need of the Ecstasy mixed with fight or flight.

I died as fingers pressed through the crotch of my pantyhose.

I lost to them, my hips grinding down.

My back arching, head back to scream as my orgasm crashed over me, only to have lips on mine, my voice swallowed into a pretty girl's mouth.

Where I wanted to be.

Between them, cunt wet and hungry, lost and drowning.

I couldn't tell how long we were there. 

I just remember more...more...

Then Moira whispering in my ear, "We've chosen you, Mommy Jessica. Give in, and be with us."

"I...I don't understand."

"Do anything you want with us. Follow need and hunger. Follow flesh. With us. Our flesh."

"I..."

"You must."

I surrendered, again.

"I do."

"Yes, Mommy Jessica. You do."

To my Babygirls.