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Forever

By: Samuelx



I'm the crown prince of all things weird. The name is Julius Jean Guillaume. A tall, and kind of chubby young Haitian-American guy. Six feet three inches tall, dark brown skin and a shaved head. I also keep my face void of beard and mustache. I think it's neater that way. Got to look good if you're a stud, know what I mean? These days, I'm on vacation. It's the summer of 2009 and I am currently attending the Massachusetts School of Mechanical Trades. It's a very small, private all-male technical college. One of the many alternative schools which keep popping up all over the place. I like that school. Finally a place where a man could be himself. We need many more like this in America.

The Massachusetts School of Mechanical Trades, also known as M.S.M. T. recently built itself a rather impressive athletic department. The MSMT sports teams, also known as the Roughnecks, compete in the Division Two of the National Collegiate Athletic Association. We have Basketball, Baseball, Football, Soccer, Swimming, Lacrosse, Rugby, Cross Country, Ice Hockey, Tennis, Water Polo and Wrestling. The school only has twelve hundred students and over forty percent of them are athletes. Now that's what's up. My first year at the Massachusetts School of Mechanical Trades was terrific. I met many intelligent and capable men of all ages. It was awesome. An experience I will never forget.

I spent all year in my engineering classes. They were pretty good. Now, it's summertime and I'm going to have myself some fun. It's a good thing I've got no boundaries when it comes to sexuality. Let me tell you about an incredible day I had. If it's sexual and kinky, then I'm down for it. I live in Boston, the queer capital of the world. It's the only place on earth where being a bisexual Haitian-American man is considered cool. Gays and lesbians have taken over the state. If you ask me, it's long overdue. Massachusetts has the biggest gay and lesbian population in the world. It stands to reason that Same-Sex Marriage would be legalized there. Take that, San Francisco! Yeah, us queers rule the town. I like sex, with both men and women, though not always at the same time. This is the story of my adventures in the Bisexual Man's Paradise. 

I went to visit my friend Charlotte. She's a tall, large-breasted, thick-bodied, wide-hipped and big-bottomed bisexual white chick. Her hair is short and blonde. She's got pale green eyes. Her face is pretty and she's under the mistaken impression that her chunky body is ugly. Apparently, some of the lesbians she's been lusting after don't much care for chubby dames. Is a portly woman ugly? I don't think so. I find large women very attractive. In a primal sort of way. I like large women. I always have. I don't know why. We're not just friends. We're fuck buddies. We get along famously. You see, we're both the kinkiest people this town has ever seen. When I came to visit her, I found her naked. She was still in bed. Being a nice guy, I decided to cheer her up. I unzipped my pants and whipped out my cock. Ten inches of long and thick Haitian-American cock. Charlotte's eyes widened when she saw my dick. I smiled. Yes, I am a naughty man. Now, come give this dick some love.

What I like about Charlotte is the fact that she likes sex as much as I do. She came to me, and we kissed. She ran her hands all over me, then gasped my cock. Yes, ten inches of Haitian-American man power. Ready to perform sexually. She got down before me and took my cock into her mouth. I watched as this sexy plump white woman began sucking my dick. Damn, I liked the sight of her. Charlotte is passionate about oral sex. It doesn't matter if she's sucking a man's dick or eating a woman's pussy. That's what I like about her. I've hooked up with many gay men and straight women over the years. By far, Charlotte is my favorite cock sucker. Second only to an older bisexual man I know in the art of oral sex. Yeah, the dame had skills. 

I was thrusting my cock down her throat like there was no tomorrow. Charlotte sucked my cock and licked my balls. Again I was amazed by this woman's skills. In no time, she got my cock hard as steel. And whatever she was doing to my balls by fondling and licking them, I was loving it. When I finally came, Charlotte drank my seed. Cleaned me up without spilling a single drop. Yeah, she was the queen of cock suckers. I've never been sucked like this. Where in hell did she learn how to do that? Charlotte looked up at me and grinned. I smiled back. Yeah, this was fun. It's always fun to hang out with Charlotte. I remember one time she fingered my asshole while sucking my cock. I kind of liked it. I've had cocks up my ass before. Big ones. Charlotte's chubby fingers didn't bother me. She sucked me off and fucked me with her fingers. Then, I put her on her back and slid my cock into her wet pussy. I don't really like to fuck pussy. I made an exception for Charlotte. I'm an ass man. Whether I'm with a male or a female. Bend over and take it deep, sir or madam. That's my law. 

Charlotte was delightfully kinky, as I found out when she whipped out a strap-on dildo and kindly asked me to bite the pillow. I don't really like strap-on dildos, but I think it's mainly because it's some skinny bitch wearing them in a BDSM movie. The chicks with strap on dildos are usually humiliating the guys they're fucking. I'm not into that kind of stuff. I'm a manly man with weird tastes, but I need my respect. Charlotte was very gentle about it. The dildo was short and slim, so it didn't hurt a bit when she slid it up my ass. Stroking my cock, she began pumping away, shoving the short dildo up my ass. I must admit it felt kind of good. When I came, she drank my cum and pulled the sex toy out of me. It felt weirdly good.

Yeah, I liked anal sex in all its forms. Can you tell? Good memories. After Charlotte got done sucking me, I decided to have a go with that plump ass of hers. Recently, I've developed a new fetish. I like large women. Especially those who like anal sex. I think a big woman's asshole is naturally tighter than that of a skinny woman. They're a lot more fun to fuck. That's why I like them. Charlotte was totally down with some anal action. She got on all fours and tossed me a bottle of lube before spreading her plump ass cheeks wide open. I looked at Charlotte who waited for me on her hands and knees. Face down and ass up. Damn she looked hot! I took the bottle of lube and smeared some of its contents on my cock. I also applied some on Charlotte's puckered asshole. Then, I pressed my cock against her back door, and pushed.

There's something to be said about a big woman's ass. It feels better than that of a skinny woman. It's got more flesh on it and therefore more weight. It's both solid and soft at the same time. Good to hold. Wondrous to touch. Oh, and their butt holes are the best in the world. I've fucked lots of men and women in the ass. I thought anal sex with hunky gay men and skinny women was fine. Then I had anal sex with a large woman. Her asshole was different. My cock knew it. My brain knew it. Since then, I've craved it. The big woman's asshole is wonderfully warm and tight upon initial penetration. Naturally designed for the hardcore anal pounding. It's with these words in mind that I held Charlotte by the hips, and thrust my cock deep where the sun didn't shine. Charlotte did not scream as I thrust my cock into her butt hole. Oh, she moaned and panted. At times, she asked me to slow down or pick up the pace. I liked that about her. I've fucked a lot of women and quite a few men who whine till kingdom come when I've got my cock up their assholes. What gives? Take what's coming at you and don't complain. Man up, people!

Man, I was really getting off from slamming my cock into Charlotte's tight butt hole. I loved the big woman's asshole. It was wonderfully warm and tight. Not too warm, not too cold. Also, it wasn't too loose or too tight. It was just right. Like I said, she was a marvel of nature. I let her have it. I began fucking her hard and fast, giving her all the cock I had, and then some. Charlotte made sexy grunting noises punctuated by sharp squeals as I took her to nirvana. We continued to fuck like anal sex was going out of style until I finally came, sending my hot cum deep inside her. I shouted in sheer pleasure and so did she. This was off the hook! 

Afterwards, Charlotte and I lay on the floor, panting. Our chubby, sexy bodies were covered with sweat. There we were. A man and a woman. A Black person and a White person. A native of America and an immigrant. A bisexual man and a bisexual woman. Two kindred souls lying in each other's arms, sated at last. I looked at her and smiled. She returned my smile and gently stroked my cheek. We have a strange bond, you know. I have lots of men and women I hook up with but they're just a good lay to me. Charlotte has a few lovers of her own. Yet we're always in each other's lives. It doesn't matter who's seeing who or how serious our relationships with other people are or aren't. We always remain together. How about that?

Forever



I met Jenna while I was in college. Big shocker right? That's how most of these stories always start, but it's true. I had been in a dorm room alone when she transferred to my room. Something had happened with her roommate (I think she died or left the school or something) then Jen requested to be moved in with a roommate. At first I thought she was a bit distant, cold even, but eventually we got comfortable with one another. We were both 19 and while she was studying to become a photographer I was interested in fashion design. Although she was quiet and shy, I eventually found myself caring a great deal for her, just in a friendly way though. Then her nightmares started. It was in the middle of the night during midterms when I first heard Jenna crying. 

We had been roommates for a few months and I considered myself her friend. I heard her sobbing in her corner of the room and I sat up to investigate. She quickly apologized and promised that she was fine. I knew better. Tears streamed down her face and I made her tell me what was wrong. It turned out that her step father had abused her (she said only physically but I suspected otherwise). She said that the dreams always came when she was stressed and the midterms were weighing heavily on her mind. We sat talking for over an hour and eventually we fell asleep together in her bed. We were just friends though, like I said. But that changed soon enough, for me at least. About a month after her nightmare issues I saw Jenna getting into a disagreement with the girl who had been my roommate before her. That bitch had demanded changing rooms after she found out that I was a lesbian. As if I would ever try to get with her skank ass.

"I saw you checking out my boyfriend, you fucking slut." Kayla, yelled at Jenna. My poor roommate stood frozen and silent.

"Is there a problem?" I asked as I moved into place behind my friend. Jen mumbled something about being sorry and promising that she hadn't been looking at Kayla's boyfriend. "Leave her alone, Kay, she didn't do anything to you and we both know it." I spoke softly as to not make the situation worse but you wouldn't believe the nerve of that bitch.

"Come on, Liv, lets get out of here." Jen said as she grabbed my arm.

"You're right. She isn't worth it." I agreed.

As Jenna and I walked away Kayla yelled out: "Yeah, walk away, you fucking dyke, before I beat the shit out of both of you." 

"What did you just call me?" I growled as I spun around. I didn't give Kayla a chance to respond before I punched her right in the nose. It looked like she was going to have to pay her plastic surgeon another visit. I was not going to, nor would I ever, condone fighting. It is petty, childish, and severely immature.... But honestly, my feelings had been hurt. And the fact that she threatened Jen made it inexcusable.

After that Jenna and I were best friends for the next two and a half years of college. But it wasn't until the end of our senior year when I actually fell for her... or realized that I had already. It was right before finals and she had another one of her bad dreams. I had become accustomed to them and Jenna knew to just climb into my bed when she couldn't sleep. But that night was different. She was shaking so bad that my whole bed trembled under us. 

"You okay, Jen?" I asked her when I heard her sobbing return.

"I'll be okay. I just..." Her cries picked up and I knew her dreams were getting worse. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly until she fell asleep. It wasn't until she had been sleeping for a few minutes that I realized that I too had started crying. My heart ached to see her in pain. My poor best friend would carry her nightmares forever. I hugged her body closer to me as I thought about what life would do to someone as kind and innocent as Jenna. I thought about what life had already done to her. I buried my face in her flowing chestnut colored hair and I could smell the coconut shampoo she used. Just having her with me made me feel better. I felt like I could protect her. At that moment I realized that I was in love with my best friend, hell I had probably been since the first moment I had met her. She was gorgeous. About 5'3" with a thin build. Her skin was a gorgeous honey color and it contrasted nicely with my caramel complexion. I though briefly about what we would look like completely naked with one another. Her light skin against mine that was several shades tanner. I was also a few inches taller and my hair was black compared to her almost red-ish brown locks. I shook the thoughts away. I focused on the fact that she was my best friend and that she was straight and while she had taken the news of my sexuality well that didn't mean she was going to join the club. I never told Jenna about how I felt about her and a few weeks later we both graduated and went on our way.

Three years later she and I were still close. I had moved to Miami Florida and Jenna traveled the world taking pictures like she had always wanted. I got a successful clothing label started in Miami and thoughts of Jenna were soon buried away, but not forgotten. I found women, I slept with women and I dumped women. Life was simple. But my life got turned around when Jenna called and said she was moving to Miami. She said something about focusing on fashion photography and that Miami was perfect. I only focused on the fact that she would be moving back. Three weeks after her move she invited me to dinner, a common occurrence between us since her return, stating that she had something important to tell me. 

"I know you are going to hate me, Liv, you are never going to speak to me again." She said slowly as I saw tears begin to form in her eyes. She said as after we had both eaten.

"Relax, honey, it can't be that bad." I assured her. I reached out and grabbed her hand on the table to try to comfort her.

"I lied to my boss." she told me. I was about to ask what that had to do with me but she motioned for me to be quiet. "I told him that I could get exclusive access to you next fashion show."

"Oh... that's okay. Umm... I will have to work some things out with some other photographers for the show but that shouldn't be a problem. Why would I hate you because of that?" I rambled on like I always did when I got nervous. I would have to make sure all the other magazines got pictures of the line. Jenna would be the only photographer on site which would probably make some of the sponsors mad but it was a do-able situation.

"That's not the only thing I told my boss. He has been hitting on me a lot lately and you know how I get when guys hit on me. I got all nervous and told him that I would be photographing the show because you are... well I might have said that I was..." Jenna mumbled and stuttered but couldn't speak.

"Jen, what are you talking about? It couldn't be that bad. It's not like you told him we we're sleeping together right?" I laughed but I knew by the sudden drop of her head that I had been right. She had told her boss that she was in a relationship with me. Great. Not only was I in love with her but I would have to pretend like I was pretending to be in love with her. Fantastic. I didn't know what to say. What could I say? I really did love her and it would tear me apart to act like her girlfriend without really being it. The show was three days away and I would have to do crazy work to fix Jenna's lies, not to mention that I would have to play her girlfriend.

"I'm so sorry, Olivia. Please don't be mad at me. He was just so pushy all the time and I got scared. If you want, I will tell him the truth. Just please talk to me..." Jenna finally did start to cry in the middle of our very expensive meal in the middle of a very expensive restaurant. 

"I'm not mad, Jen. I just have some things I have to work out for the show. It might be best if I go." I placed my napkin on the table before tossing money on the table to cover the bill, tip and cab fare for Jen. I kissed her on the cheek, like I always did. "I love you and I will see you later."

"Liv, please don't be like this. I didn't mean to make you angry." Jenna cried as we made our way to the parking lot. I couldn't force myself to turn around but the sound of her crying broke my heart the same way it had when we were in college. "Please don't hate me."

"Jen, it's okay. I'm really not mad. I just have a lot of work to do if you want to impress your boss. I could never hate you, you are my best friend. I'll love you forever." I reached out for her and she immediately fell into my arms and began sobbing. We stood like that in the middle of the parking lot for at least ten minutes. "You okay?" I asked when she finally calmed down.

"I'll be fine. It's just that with work the way it has been, the nightmares have been pretty bad lately and seeing you reminded me of when you would help. It feels nice to have a real friend." She forced a pained smile and we both got into my car. She still hadn't bought one yet, she was too nervous to go alone and I hadn't had a chance to go with her. Her small apartment was also tiny and severely under furnished and drastically overpriced. 

"You can sleep at my place if you want." I offered. "I can handle most of my work from home and I will feel better knowing that you are sleeping okay."

She nodded slightly and I drove off to my place. I pushed the thoughts of her naked in my bed out of my head and I focused on the fact that the girl I loved needed my help. No matter how much it would hurt me to fake it, I would be whatever she needed me to be, even a fake girlfriend.

We got back to my house and I showed her to the guests' bedroom. She quickly went to bed and I went to my room to get to work on rearranging the show. From a dozen photographers to one would be some serious work. I sent out emails and I decided that I would do other photo shoots after the fashion show. It would be less trouble and Jenna would have the exclusive shots for an extra week or so. With all the work done and emails sent, I shut my laptop and changed for bed. I had only been sleeping for a few minutes when I heard some rustling at my door. I shot up in my bed, forgetting that Jenna was in the house, and I saw my best friend standing in my door way with tears streaming down her face. 

"I didn't mean to wake you. I just thought that you might be up. I'll go back to bed..." Jen wiped at her eyes and turned to leave.

"It's okay, Jen. You can sleep in here." I lifted the edge of my blanket and I waited as she crawled in next to me. 

"You are the only person who ever really cared about me, Liv. Even my mom left me after she found out about what Ricky had done to me. She said it was my fault. She said I seduced him." She whispered into the darkness as if I wasn't there. She was finally admitting that her step dad had raped her. At that moment all romantic thoughts flew from my mind. She was my friend and she needed me to be there for her.

"You didn't do anything, Jenna, and it sure as hell wasn't your fault. You mom is a stupid cunt if she thinks otherwise." I couldn't control my anger. How could a mother turn on her only child like that? She had left Jenna alone in the world.

Jen didn't say anything but she did wrap her arms around me as she finally began to fall asleep. I lay in the bed for a few extra hours wondering what would become of Jenna and me. She was my best friend and I was madly in love with her. I only dated girls that looked like her and I had called them by her name more times than I could count. But could I ruin the only real relationship that she had? What if she didn't feel the same way? How could I ruin our friendship? I wouldn't, I decided. I would play the part and then things would go back to normal. I had managed to go three years hiding my love and I figured I could keep on doing it.

The next two days went by in a flash. Between me working on the show and Jenna sleeping with me at night, things got into a nice routine. The day of the show came and it went marvelously. My clothes were a hit and I had some major boutiques interested in picking up the line. Jenna did great with the pictures and the sponsors were thrilled with her work. Everything went fabulously until the after party. We were at a small club, owned by a personal friend, when Jenna's boss walked over and 'congratulated' me and Jenna who was by my side.

"I thought Jenna was lying when she said you were a couple but I guess she wasn't." He said as she glared at us. I instinctively wrapped my arm around her waist, the way I would do to a girl I was dating. 

"So how long have you known each other?" He asked with mock interest. He was obviously trying to catch Jenna in her lie. I didn't know why he was so interested.

"We were college roommates." I answered smoothly. He was far from intimidating or interesting. He asked a few more questions but I answered them all easily. She was my best friend after all. Jen excused herself to go to the bathroom and that's when Mark, her boss, tried to pull a fast one.

"Did Jenna tell you about her shoot in Prague? She got pictures of most beautiful..." Mark started to speak but I stopped him.

"You must have her confused with someone else. Jenna has never been to Prague, or any other country in the north eastern part of Europe. She isn't a fan of the cold weather, she actually hates it very much. That's why she moved to Miami." I laughed at his stupidity and wrapped my arm around Jenna when she returned. Mark, flustered and angry that he had been caught, didn't know what else to say. "Well, I think it's about time we leave, don't you baby?" I asked Jenna as I pulled her closer to me. She must have been really comfortable with me because she didn't flinch when I pulled her only inches from my face.

"Sure thing. I am really tired." Jenna said honestly. Every night since she had began to stay at my house she had had nightmares. But I never understood why she just wouldn't sleep with me from the beginning of the night. She always did the same thing: She would go to bed in the guest bedroom then in the middle of the night she would creep into my room, wake me, then get in bed with me. 

We both left the party and went back to my place. I was in a good mood, between the fabulous show and having Jenna by my side it was like a dream come true, and that made me a bit cocky.

"Since you're my girlfriend for the night you might as well sleep with me." I laughed as I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Jen laughed and asked for a bottle as well. I threw her hers.

"I sleep with you every night, you loser." she giggled as she drank from the bottle. 

"I guess you're right. Come on, let's go to bed." I quickly sobered to the fact that she would never see me as anything but a comforting friend. It crushed me but I didn't let on. "You might as well sleep with me now instead of waking us both up later. I have things planned for us tomorrow."

Jenna reluctantly agreed and we both went off to bed. The next day we had more fun than even I had planned. I convinced Jenna to move into my place. Her apartment was expensive, tiny and she didn't need it. Then we went to a few of my favorite stores and I bought Jen more clothes than she had ever owned, being a successful designer afforded me the luxury of having a large bank account. And even though Jen complained about spending my money she let me have my way. Then we went to dinner and right before we went back home something caught Jenna's eye from the sidewalk. She noticed a pet store with a cute puppy in the window. We went inside and soon found out that it was a mutt but since it was cute they were asking top dollar for it. Jenna looked at the puppy's $900 price tag and slumped her shoulders. She was doing okay for herself but she didn't have an extra thousand dollars lying around to blow on a puppy. I secretly footed the bill and arranged to have the puppy dropped off by my house in an hour. Jen wasn't very good at hiding her disappointment about the dog. It was a mutt and it didn't make sense to either of us why it cost so much. I guessed it was a pit-bull mix but I really had no idea, although it was huge for a puppy. So we went home. We made small talk in the kitchen but I could tell she was still thinking about the dog. I tried to hide my smile when I heard the door bell ring a few minutes later. The owner of the pet store was standing at my door with the dog, food, toys and an assortment of things I had paid for without Jen's knowledge. I grabbed the stuff and tipped the owner. I tossed the extra things to the ground by the door but I carried the dog into the kitchen where Jen and I had been talking. 

"Who was it?" she asked with her back turned to me. I didn't answer and she was forced to turn around to find out why I had remained silent. She yelled and giggled like a little kid then she ran over and hugged me. I wasn't a big fan of pets but seeing the look on her face made it all worth it. "I can't believe you paid that much for her. You shouldn't have."

"I wanted to. Besides, you deserve to have the things you want. To you it's just a dog but to me it's being able to see you smile. You don't do that enough now a days." I told her. I was taken aback when she got on her tippy toes and kissed my lips softly. I usually kissed her on the cheek or on the forehead but she had never kissed me on the lips before. "Jen, what are you doing?" I asked as I stepped back sharply. 

"I thought that was what you wanted." She said. Once again she was on the verge of tears. "I always thought you liked me. I'm so sorry..." she ran off to her room and I was left in the kitchen with that stupid dog in my hands. I didn't know what to do. Thoughts swirled in my head and I was completely lost as to what to do next. I had to talk to her. She deserved better from me than "what are you doing". I went to her room with the dog still cradled in my arms. It was pretty heavy for a four-month old. I knocked on Jen's door before entering. 

"I'm sorry, Liv, I didn't mean to make you angry. I just wanted to show you how much I care about you. I'm sorry." She cried from the bed without looking at me. I decided to tell her the truth. She needed to know.

"Jen, I need to tell you something." I told her softly as I dropped the dog to the ground. Jenna sat up in the bed and looked right at me. "The reason I didn't want you to kiss me is because it means something very different to me. You wanted to thank me and that's what you thought I wanted. Even though you are right, I couldn't let you do it, because I would just want to do it again and again and I don't think you want that. Maybe we should pretend like it never happened. You won't have to regret it and I will try not to want to do it again." Our eyes met and I saw something in them that I had never seen before. I could see the love she felt for me written all over her face, too bad she didn't love me the way I loved her, or did she?

"Liv, I wouldn't regret it, I don't. That is if you don't hate me." She searched my face for answers but I didn't have the right words. So I blurted out the truth once again.

"Damn it, Jenna. I have been in love with you since college, I could never hate you. I'll love you forever." I said a little too loudly. I immediately clamped my hands over my mouth as if it would erase the words I had just said. I stared at Jenna who just looked back at me in silence.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. But the whimpering of that damned puppy snapped us both back to reality. Jen placed it on the bed behind her but she still didn't say anything to me.

"I'm sorry, Jen. I shouldn't have said that. It's just that pretending to be your girlfriend reminded me of how much I really love you. I understand if you are upset. It's getting late I should probably go to bed." I stood up and walked to the door before turning around slowly. "If you need me you can come to my room. You know I would never do anything you didn't want me to but I understand if you don't want to. I really do love you, Jen, and I am sorry if I messed everything up. I'm really sorry." Just as I was about to leave Jenna jumped up and grabbed my hand. 




Forever



"You shouldn't be sorry. You are the only person who's ever loved me and I love you too." Jen brushed her lips against mine once more but I could feel her hesitation. I held her back a bit.

"I know you love me but you aren't in love with me. It's okay. I don't want you to do something because you want to make me happy. Having you here with me makes me happy enough." I kissed her forehead and sighed.

"No, Liv, I really do love you. I never loved anyone before you and I never found anyone after. I didn't know the difference but I think I really am in love with you." She forced her lips against me once more and this time I could feel her passion. Maybe she did love me.

"Jen, I don't want to hurt you. What if you realize you don't love me? I can't lose you as a friend." I told her as I pushed her back for a third time. I had prayed for her kisses for years and now in one day I had pushed her away three times.

"You could never lose me. I love you." She grinned and wrapped her arms around me. She hugged my body tightly and rested her head on my shoulder. 

"Jenna, I..." I didn't know what to say. I rested my back against the door and I waited for something to happen. I prayed for a sudden moment of clarity when I would have the answers I needed. But that moment never came. I stood hugging Jen for at least ten minutes before she stood back and looked at me.

"Are we going to bed, or what?" She asked with a warm smile. It was almost like nothing had happened. I nodded and we went to my room. We changed in silence, we had been naked in front of each other hundreds of times and this one was no different. I crawled into bed and Jen was close behind after she fixed a bed for the puppy in the corner of the room. I turned out the lights and I lay in the dark silently. I still had no idea what Jen wanted from me. 

"Liv?" Jenna asked a few minutes later. I assume it was a few minutes later but in reality I was so consumed in my own thoughts that it could've been hours.

"Yeah." I croaked out. I was horrified she would take it all back.

"I'm not sorry I kissed you. I'm sorry if you are mad but I'm not sorry that I kissed you." she whispered to me as she reached out for me in the dark. She grabbed my waist softly and turned me towards her. "Are you upset with me? I really just want to know what you're thinking."

"I don't know, Jen. I just don't know what to say. I am so scared that you are wrong about how you feel." Tears fell from the corners of my eyes and I waited for a response.

Jenna kissed at the tears that fell, making me cry more. "It's okay. I understand that you aren't sure but you will be eventually. Let's go to sleep, now. We can deal with this tomorrow."

During the next week Jen put herself through a gauntlet to prove herself to me. The first day she ordered me a bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flowers. The second day she took me to my favorite little restaurant, where she insisted on paying. And the other five days she spent trying to convince me that she knew me better than anyone, which I didn't doubt. What I was unsure of was her feeling towards me but every time she felt my hesitation she would kiss me. Now matter where we were she would plant one on me. It didn't matter if we were alone in my house or in the middle of a crowded store. On the night of the seventh day we were sitting on my couch watching one of my favorite movies, a sappy chick flick, when I got the heavy feeling that everything between us was a lie. Okay, so she knew my favorite movie and flower and desserts but did that mean she was ready? Would I be okay if she wasn't? 

"What is it?" she asked when she felt me stiffen behind her, she was lying in my lap.

"I don't think I can do this, Jen." I tried to speak clearly but my voice trembled.

"What are you talking about? You love this movie." The look on her face broke my heart. She looked hurt and lost but mostly hurt. 

"I don't mean the movie. I mean this. Us." My words seemed to cut into her. Her facial expression changed to something I had never seen before. She looked betrayed.

"Why don't you believe that I really love you? I don't know how else to prove it. I don't know what else to do for you to believe me?" Jen stood sharply from the couch and turned her back to me. 

I hung my head in my hands. "You don't get it do you, Jenna?"

"Get what, damn it?" She yelled as she turned back around to face me. The pain in her voice killed me inside.

"I'm not the one that has to believe it. You are. I will always love you, Jen. No matter what. But you have to be sure because we can't just go back to the way we were before." I looked down at the ground in front of me and I didn't move. Jen walked back over to me and grabbed my face in her hands.

"I don't want to go back. I want this." She pulled me up to her and she kissed me again but this kiss was different from all the others. She didn't pull away from me after a moment. She pressed harder against me and I kissed back. When she finally let me go, she laughed. "You are a pretty good kisser when you put a little effort into it."

That was all the invitation that I needed. I felt it. The moment of clarity. I finally felt that she cared as much as I did. I don't know how to explain it but it was there. Her love was finally there. I grabbed her and kissed her again. This time I licked at her lips and she opened her mouth to my wandering tongue. I had never kissed anyone the way I was kissing Jenna. I was in no hurry. We had forever. I explored her mouth slowly and soon her tongue made it's way into my mouth and we began kissing in earnest. We eventually get short of breath and I reluctantly had to relinquish my hold of her mouth.

"You want to go to bed?" I asked with a devilish smile. Jen's face took an immediate turn for the worse and my heart sank in my chest. Maybe she didn't feel the same way after all. She would make out with me but she wouldn't go to bed with me. 

"It's only 10 o'clock." she mumbled softly. I decided to give her one more chance, thinking that maybe she was just a little unsure of my intentions.

I leaned up close to her and whispered into her ear. "That's the point, beautiful." Jen froze and I watched as she looked horrified at the thought of sleeping with me. I grabbed her and kissed her forehead. "It's okay." I let her go and made my way upstairs. First I changed out of my jeans and top then I changed my soaked panties. Kissing Jen was hot to say the least. I pulled on an old concert t-shirt and crawled into bed. I stared out the window and thought about what would've happened if Jen had gone with me to bed. I thought about peeling the clothes off of her gorgeous form. I imagined kissing every inch of her immaculate body. I dreamed of touching her everywhere I could get my hands. But in the end I shrugged the thoughts away and focused on the fact that I was alone in my bed. Alone.

"Can I talk to you?" I heard Jen say from the door way. I stayed silent, hoping that she would think that I was sleeping. But she knew better. "Liv, please talk to me." 

"Yeah."

"I know you are upset..."

"Upset? Why would I be upset? You don't want to sleep with me. Why would that upset me?" I complained without turning to face her. I knew I shouldn't be so mad at her but I couldn't help it. I had wanted her for years and when I was finally within reach she shot me down.

"Liv, it's not that I don't want to. It's just that I don't... I have never..." her voice trailed off and I turned around to see what had happened to her. Tears were streaming down her face and I shot up and hugged her. No matter how angry I was, I loved her.

"It's alright, Jenna. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I will wait until you're ready." I kissed her head but she forced me to look at her while she struggled to control her sobs. 

"It's not that I don't want to. It's just that I haven't been with anyone since..." it finally dawned on me. She hadn't been with anyone since her stepfather had raped her. I felt like a monster for being angry at her.

"Oh baby. I'm sorry. I had no idea." I fluttered kissed all over her cheek and forehead begging her to forgive me.

"I want to be with you but I don't know what to do." She eventually confessed. I smiled and pulled her down into the bed with me. We made our way under the covers and began kissing like we had been earlier. She was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted. We made out like a couple of teenagers for hours before finally Jen moved away slightly. "Can I touch you?" she asked sheepishly. My heart soared and I pulled off my shirt leaving me in only a bra and panties. My hands cradled her head softly as we kissed again, this time with her hands gingerly placed on my chest, over my bra. She really didn't know what to do but that made no difference. Having her touch me was like my dream come true. And although it might disappoint the interested reader, all we did that night was kiss. She felt me up a bit over my bra but I didn't push her any farther. I would have to take another road with her and it didn't involve ravaging her at my first whim. It would take a finer touch. It would take some planning but in the end all I had was time.

The next night I put my plan in motion. After we returned for work I had a large meal set at the table. We dined while making small talk. We spoke of stories of our past and plans for our future. I no longer doubted the sincerity of her feelings. If she was sure then I would be too. After dinner I sent her to take a bath, alone, while I got our room ready. My room was no longer mine, it was ours. Everything I had was ours and vise versa. She even said that that damned dog was ours, although I would've preferred if she retained full ownership, but I eventually came around to it and I grew to care deeply for that mutt. But continuing. While Jen bathed, I filled the room with candles. So many candles that I lost count. There were dozens of small candles on every surface that I could fit them. (Except the bed. Bedding and flames make me nervous.) Next came the music. I put on some soft music, more for atmosphere than for actual listening. I stripped out of my clothes next and changed into a matching red lace bra, panties and garter set but I modestly hid them under a silk robe. I waited while Jen bathed and although it only took her about 20 minutes it felt like an eternity to me. But when she finally emerged in only a robe and a flimsy towel in her head I smiled. She was gorgeous, even with no makeup. Her hair was a mess when the towel tumbled from her head. She stood in shock as she watched me move closer to her. I wrapped my arm around her waist and I pulled her close to me.

"I want this to be perfect for you." I whispered to her before I kissed her softly. There was no urgency in that kiss. No hurry, no rush. Just love. I wanted her memory of that night to have no ties with anything negative. I wanted her to remember our first time together as perfect.

"I don't deserve you." she murmured as we continued to kiss.

"You're right, you deserve much more." I replied while leading her to the bed. I instructed her to lie on her stomach and she agreed reluctantly, she was beyond nervous. I retrieved some body oils from the night stand and (after removing the robe) I made a painstakingly slow job of rubbing it into her body all over. She was still nervous about being in front of me completely naked but I whispered soft things into her ear as my hands worked slowly and skillfully along her body. After maybe an hour of rubbing I sat up in the bed languidly. The rest of the night would depend on her. "What do you want to happen next?" I asked. "If you want this to continue then tell me and I will show you a little surprise but if you want to stop we can do that too. I love you no matter which you choose."

She reached for the blanket and covered herself while she sat and looked at me for a moment, obviously contemplating her choices. A sly smile crossed her lips. It made my panties wet. "What kind of surprise?"

I stood back and toyed with the belt that tied my robe together. "Do you really want to continue? We don't have to." she nodded but I got serious. "Are you sure? We have forever to do this."

"Tonight is perfect. Now show me what's under that robe." I didn't need more invitation than that, I pulled off my robe and did a quick spin in my red lace outfit. "You are gorgeous." She said as her eyes went wide. "But you still look a bit over dressed."

"Do you want to do the honors?" I asked. She nodded and I crawled into the bed next to her. We kissed passionately and her hands found their way to the clasp of my bra sheepishly. The harder we kissed the more sure she was of her self. Her fingers fumbled at my bra, she obviously had no experience removing another woman's bra. But I loved it. I loved how inexperienced she was. I loved knowing that I had forever to teach her.

"Oh god, I love you, Liv." She said when she finally unsnapped my bra. I had to suppress the tears that tried to fall from my eyes. I had dreamed of that moment for so long. I had dreamed of touching her and of having her want to touch me. I had dreamed of those words.

Jen pushed me back a bit and peeled the bra off of my body. She paused and stared at me for a minute. She seemed to hesitate but I waited. 

"I don't know." she whispered. My heart sank and I felt like crying but I didn't. I sat back and smiled.

"Don't worry about it. We don't have to do this." I said gently as I took her hands in mine. I kissed her fingers.

"No. I do want to do this. I just don't know... what to do." she confessed. I almost laughed but I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"How about this, you let me take care of you then you can see what you're comfortable with? If you want me to stop just say so." She gave me a nod and I eased her back into the bed. I slipped out of the red clothing. I crawled into the bed over her and kissed her gently. I leaned down slightly so that she could feel my breasts touching hers. My hard nipples rubbing into her flesh. I kissed and sucked gently at her neck. She pressed me hard onto her but I remained gentle. I knew how careful I had to be. I couldn't do anything to scare her.

I found my way to her fleshy breasts and I kissed them slowly. Making a painstaking job of furthering her arousal. She moaned loudly as I licked around her nipple and she gave a sharp intake of breath when I finally closed my mouth around it. I had never been so happy in all my life. No one had ever made my heart flutter the way Jenna did. 

I kissed lower, around her flat yet yielding stomach. She breathed erratically and lifted her hips, trying to increase our contact. I took the opportunity and slid my arms under her small frame. Essentially hugging her. I licked and kissed at her soft skin until she was panting. I nuzzled my face on her stomach after one final kiss.

"You doing okay, Jen?" I asked softly. I needed her to control things, no matter how bad I wanted to.

"I'm good." She said slightly out of breath. 

I continued my work, moving slowly. Inch by inch, I moved my way to her hips until only my tongue was moving on her. She tangled her fingers into my hair and pulled me tightly to her body. My arms were still wrapped around her body, not at her waist. I bit at her slightly exposed hip bone and she laughed briefly. Her laughing stopped when I moved my head between her thighs. I let go of my hold on her body and raked my fingernails along the insides of her legs, kissing and licking as I went. When I finally reached her pussy, it was dripping sweet syrupy fluids onto my bed. I had succeeded in my task to arouse her. 

"You good, baby?" I asked one final time. Jen answered me by lifting her hips and pressing her wet sex towards me. I took that as my cue and began kissing her most private of areas. Her fingers were in my hair once again and she tried guiding me. But I was the one with the experience and it was my job to please her. I grabbed her hands in mine and held them on either side of her on the bed. I wasn't pinning her, I was holding her hands. Our fingers were locked together gently, there was nothing controlling about it.

I licked the length of her slit before concentrating on her clit, not having my hands put me at a deficit but I was managing just fine. I knew when Jen was getting close to orgasm. Her hold on my hands tightened, leaving my knuckles white and starved for blood. Her hips started to move with my mouth, grinding on me. Then suddenly her back arched, she squeezed my hands tightly, and moaned a slur of words I didn't understand. Her body went rigid but I kept on the course, sucking her clit into my mouth while running my tongue along it. When her body finally relaxed and her breathing came in short gasps I crawled back up her body and laid next to her, still holding her hands. 

"You okay?" I asked as I kissed along her neck as she continued trying to regulate her breaths.

I got a weary nod from her and I smiled. "I love you." she murmured.

"I love you too, beautiful." I continued to kiss along her neck and shoulders until she was completely relaxed. She then let go of my hands and held onto my neck, trying to guide me to her mouth. Our lips met, this time with a totally different context. It was sweet and gentle and I felt I could live that moment over everyday for the rest of my life. With some luck maybe I would. I knew she could taste herself on my mouth and tongue.

"I want to do something for you." Jen told me as soon as I resumed my work on her shoulder. I kissed her lips once more and silenced her.

I went back to kissing her neck, more licking actually. My hands were working freely around her body, touching and rubbing everywhere I could get my hands. I reached between her legs and slowly rubbed up and down her still moist pussy. She moaned and pulled my head to her mouth. Then she kissed me passionately while I dipped my middle finger into her. She gasped into my mouth as I started moving my hand in and out of her, slowly fucking her. I used the heel of my hand to rub her clit as my hand continued to move in her. She tried her best to continue kissing me but at some points she could do little more then moan. But I didn't mind.

"Oh god." she moaned after a few minuted of having my hand buried in her. "I'm gonna come... right there... please don't stop..."

I moved my hand a little faster and I rubbed against her a little harder. She lolled her head back and I used the opportunity to kiss and suck on her exposed neck while her pussy convulsed around my fingers. She hugged my neck tightly as I continued to lick and suck on her neck. She lay panting under me, when I finally rolled over onto my back next to her. I slowly yet meticulously licked my fingers clean. 

"Are you still okay?" I asked as I rolled over onto my side to face my gorgeous friend. 

"I think so." she replied with a smile. She reached over and kissed me one final time before cuddling up next to me. She placed her head on my collar and made circles around my nipple, absentmindedly. I snaked one of my arms under her head and the other over her back onto her ass. I kneaded her flesh gently as we cuddled together. 

"Hey, Liv?" she asked when I had almost fallen asleep. I kept my eyes closed but I answered.

"What's up, baby?" I asked in return.

"When did you know?"

"Know what?" I couldn't stop myself from rubbing her ass as we spoke, causing Jen to wiggle a bit.

"When did you know how you felt about me?"

The question caught me a bit by surprise but I tried to think of an answer. "You mean when did I know that I was in love with you?" I asked to make sure we were on the same page. Jen nodded onto my shoulder. "Well, I knew in college. I always loved you but I knew that I was in love with you a few weeks before we graduated. You couldn't sleep one night and when you got into my bed I realized how worried I was about you and how much I loved you. That night I realized that I had probably been in love with you since you walked into my dorm-room."




Forever



"I was just wondering. You know I love you, right?" Jen kissed my chest, right over my heart. It was the most loving act I had ever seen in my life. The actual movement meant nothing, it was nothing special and it could've been duplicated on any other body part. But the way she smiled and touched her lips to my chest felt like she had reached my actual heart and I loved her for it.

"Yes, I know." I grabbed her ass harder and used it to pulled her up to me slightly so that I could kiss her.

"What happens now, Liv?" she asked when she was once again comfortable on my chest.

"What happens now is that we are going to bed then when I wake up, I'm going for seconds." I laughed and reached between her. "Everything else we can deal with as it comes."

"It's not really seconds you know. You've already been there twice maybe it's my turn soon." Jen kissed me again, this time rather close to my nipple. It sent shivers through me. Her tongue snaked out and flicked my hard nipple. I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

"You must have missed the memo, beautiful, we are going to bed. Tomorrow my body is yours to do with as you please." I played with her hair while she laughed at me.

"Okay. But I'm not done yet, I like the way your skin tastes." Jen locked her mouth nipple and sucked hard. I bit my lip to contain the moan that threatened to escape my mouth. When Jen finally let go she looked up at me with an evil smile. "You okay, baby?" she asked in her most patronizing voice. I didn't know whether to kiss her or push her off the bed. 

"You are one step away from sleeping with that damn dog, young lady." I said in as stern a voice as I could manage through my laughter.

"Oh you're threatening me now, are you?" Jen looked slightly amused as she rolled me over onto my back and laid her body on top of me with her head on my chest. She used her arms as pillows so she could stare right at me. "By all means, go to sleep now."

Once again I was torn between kissing her full succulent lips and just tossing her over onto the ground. She was adorable. She looked at me the way I had always hoped she would. With a half smile and loving eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and shifted her so that she was half on me and half next to me. Her face was right next to mine and I kissed her gently. Our lips pressed for a minute before I pulled away but I enjoyed it so much that I did it over and over and over again. Jen brought her hand to my face and moved the hair back softly so she could look at me.

"I love you." she said one final time as she wrapped her arm around me.

"I'll love you forever." I told her with a few more gently place kisses. We both fell asleep soon after that. I was in no rush or hurry to get her to do anything to me; we had forever and forever is a very long time.



Forever



Lily sat propped up by pillows on her bed, her eyes fixed on the screen of her laptop. She had been surfing the web to pass time, waiting for Marcus to log on, but her mind had wandered and now she found herself staring at an article on the Leaning Tower of Pisa. She had always dreamed of traveling through Europe for at least a month, but there just never seemed to be enough time to break away from her busy schedule. And now she was out of time altogether. 

Lily was dying.

The computer pinged, tearing her away from her thoughts. The IM screen popped up on top of the website. Marcus was online.

Marcus: Hi Lily

Lily: Hi Marcus. What's for lunch today?

Marcus: Ham and cheese on rye and a pickle

Lily: Your favorite

Marcus: How are you feeling today?

Lily: Not too bad. Tired

Marcus: Have you eaten anything today?

Lily: I had some yogurt this morning and managed to keep it down

Marcus: That's good. You know I worry about you keeping up your strength

Lily: I know

Marcus: It's just that I care about you so much

Lily: You're so sweet

Marcus: I know ;-)

Lily: I'm going to take a nap and let you eat your lunch

Marcus: OK. Call you tonight?

Lily: You better 

Marcus: Sweet dreams til then

Lily: I hope so

They both logged off nearly simultaneously. 

Lily closed the laptop and set it aside. She rearranged the pillows and shifted her position so that she was lying down. Her head was pounding furiously and her body ached everywhere. Her morning oxycontin hadn't been very effective, so she took a Percocet before noon, so it was too soon to take another.

*****

Lily wrote and illustrated children's books. Her most popular work was a series about the misadventures of an adopted 20-pound, black tomcat named Shadow who frequently escaped from the house. Some were bestsellers; some did not make it onto the list, but the advances and royalties had allowed her to live a comfortable life in Miami.

Three years ago, Lily began having terrible headaches. They were so ferocious in their intensity that she could barely function. Her vision was blurry and she was nauseated most of the time. She ran through the entire gamut of over-the-counter pain relievers, but none of them even remotely eased the pain. Then she went through an array of narcotics, much to her doctor's disapproval, but they only provided her with mild relief. Finally, a series of tests began and, two months and thousands of dollars later, a tumor was found in her brain.

The surgeons were able to remove the tumor, but Lily still had to go through the chemo regimen. The side-effects were terrible and, at times, unbearable. Midway through her chemotherapy, her live-in boyfriend, Bob, decided that he needed to move out. He told her that he just couldn't bear to see her that way and that they would stay in touch and get back together when she was feeling better.

Lily knew this was a crock of shit, but she really couldn't blame Bob. He hadn't signed on for this. Besides, she had other things to worry about, such as vomiting 15 times a day and watching her long blonde hair falling out into her hands whenever she touched her head.

Truth be told, Lily was a very grounded woman. She didn't get upset over things she couldn't control and had little patience for the bullshit that life threw her way. So, she just watched the bullshit splatter wherever it landed and didn't even bother to clean it up. Some thought her cold; others felt she was overly stoic. Lily simply thought of herself as a realist. She didn't believe in love-at-first-sight. She felt strongly that to reach her goals in life, plain old-fashioned elbow-grease was essential. In Lily's world, success, of any kind, did not simply drop into one's lap; it must be earned. 

Lily usually kept to herself. She was compelled to appear at various book-signings in Miami and the surrounding area, but she was basically a solitary person and not much of a romantic. During her 37 years on this earth, she had few friends and even fewer lovers. But this didn't bother her all that much. She had her writing and artwork. She had books to read, CDs to listen to, television for distraction and movies for entertainment. And she had her cat, Marnie, an eight-pound calico named after the classic Alfred Hitchcock film, and who was probably the true love of her life.

The one thing about Lily that was so unique that it sometimes puzzled even her was that she rarely cried. Tears did not come easily to her, even though sometimes she wished they would:

Like when the tumor returned four months ago. And it was inoperable.

*****

"Lily, are you awake? I've got your dinner ready."

Lily looked up at Marcia through bleary, sleep-murky eyes. "Oh, yes. Thank you."

Marcia was Lily's home-healthcare aide. She spent six hours each day in Lily's house, helping with sorting medications, checking vital signs, cooking, cleaning, sometimes helping Lily to bathe and even looking after Marnie when Lily wasn't up to it.

In addition to the inoperable tumor, the cancer was rapidly spreading throughout her body, attacking organs along its way. The doctors told her that if she resumed chemo, it could add another six or eight months to her life. If she didn't do anything at all, there was a 70 percent chance that she would die within three months - or less.

Lily started the chemo again. All the horrific side effects returned. And her hair began to fall out again between her fingers.

It was then that Lily decided to stop treatment. She told herself that since she only had such a short time left, she should be spending those last few months in the most comfortable setting she could find and live out the rest of her days enjoying the things that she loved most.

Lily knew that Marcia did not approve of the decision she had made three months ago, as did her few friends and colleagues, what was left of her family and especially, her oncologist in Miami.

She sold her two-story Miami beach house and moved across the state to Naples where she bought a small ranch house that was only about 15 minutes away from the ocean. She shaved her head. She bought a plasma television and a top-of-the line stereo system. She ordered books and CDs from Amazon.com. She rented movie after movie from Netflix.

She knew that there was more pain to come. But to Lily, this was more preferable than spending the time that remained with frequent hospital visits and puking her guts out every day, especially when there was no real guarantee that treatment would truly add any significant amount of time to her life.

*****

"Lily, are you awake?"

Startled out of her introspection, she looked up at Marcia again. "I'm sorry. I was a million miles away."

Marcia smiled. "That's okay. Do you want to eat here in bed or in the kitchen.?"

Lily contemplated this for a moment before deciding on the kitchen. She sat up in bed, her thin legs dangling over the edge of the mattress and took a deep breath before rising. She immediately felt a bit wobbly.

Marcia quickly reached out to steady her. "Do you want the walker?"

Lily sighed. "I suppose so." She was having a particularly weak day and, though she loathed that damn walker, she knew she had to use it to prevent a fall that could very easily shatter a bone or two.

Marcia had prepared a meal of home-made lasagna and garlic bread. Lily sat down at the table and scooped out a generous portion of lasagna onto her plate. She knew that meals like this were not evenly remotely good for her health, but in her new state of mind after cancer's death sentence was announced, she just didn't care. She was going to live life to its fullest; consequences be damned. Whether she ate a fat-filled plate of lasagna or just a banana, there was always the possibility that she'd puke up the food later or experience terrible diarrhea or even suffer extreme pain.

As Marcia added a glass of ice cubes and a 20-ounce bottle of Coke to the table, Lily breathed in deeply, savoring the smell of the delicious meal before her. Before picking up her fork, she turned to glance at the clock.

"You're already thinking about his call, aren't you?" Marcia asked with an expression of mild disapproval on her young face.

Lily filled her mouth with a forkful of lasagna and did not reply.

"I know it's not really my place, Lily, but I don't know why you're letting yourself fall in love with Marcus at a time like this, when . . . " Her voice trailed off.

"When I'm dying?" Lily replied, completing Marcia's sentence. She filled her fork with another mouthful and shook her head vehemently. "Don't be ridiculous, Marcia," she said while chewing. "I'm not in love with Marcus. He's just . . . a friend."

"If you say so," Marcia said with the tiniest of smiles tugging at her lips.

"I'm not in love." Lily protested. "I'm not!"

"I'm going to head home now if you don't need anything else," Marcia said, abandoning the topic. "Just put the pan in the fridge and leave the dishes in the sink. I'll take care of them in the morning."

"Thanks, Marcia. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night."

"You too," Marcia called out over her shoulder after she had grabbed her purse and opened the back door.

Lily sat in silent contemplation after Marcia's departure. She usually turned on the radio or watched the small television in the kitchen while she ate, but tonight her thoughts were dominating her mind far too much to focus on any outside stimuli.

Am I really falling for Marcus? she wondered. He's so sweet and kind, and not hard on the eyes either. She smiled.

*****

Lily was settled comfortably in bed once again, a bottle of spring water on her nightstand and "The Tudors" playing on the television. It was nearly 9:00. Marcus would be calling soon. He always called between 8:00 and 9:00. She tried to concentrate on the program, but her eyes kept wandering from the screen to the clock as she stroked Marnie's soft fur.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" She already knew who it was, but went through the formality of a salutation anyway.

"Hi, Lily."

Oh, I really do adore his accent, she thought.

"Hi, Marcus. How was your day?"

He sighed into the phone. "Long."

"Oh. Well, if you're too tired to talk, we can -- "

He cut her off mid-sentence. "Don't be silly. Talking to you is the highlight of my day."

Lily could almost see a smile accompanying his words. "How's the weather up there?"

Marcus groaned. "Hot and humid. I hate summers in New York."

She chuckled. "Sounds like here."

"Sounds like Haiti," he replied.

Marcus was originally from Haiti, which accounted for his French accent.

"So when are you going to send me that picture?" he asked.

"Marcus, you know that I can't." This was a sore point between them.

"It's not that you can't," he retorted. "It's that you won't."

"And I've told you why. I look like hell. I don't want you to remember me this way."

"And you know that I don't care about that," he countered. "I just want to see your beautiful face."

Lily snorted. "Beautiful? Yeah, right."

"If you words and voice are anything like your face, you must look like a goddess."

She laughed. "A goddess? Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"Not for me, ma chere," Marcus said in a soft voice.

Lily laughed. "Now you're really pushing it. You're already charming enough. You don't need to try so hard."

It was Marcus' turn to laugh. "Okay, okay."

They continued to talk for almost an hour longer, discussing their favorite books, movies, music. It was somewhat of a redundant conversation. This was what they usually discussed. But the funny thing was that they never tired of it. They were still discovering more things that they had in common.

Eventually, Lily grew very tired.

Marcus, as usual, heard it in her voice. "You need to sleep now, Lily. I've been talking your ear off."

"No, you haven't." She had to tell him this every night. "I'm just feeling really . . . weak." She hated to admit this to anyone, even herself.

"I know." The tone of his voice took on a somber timbre. "Sleep well, ma chere. Jusqu'à demain."

Lily smiled. "Yes, tomorrow. Goodnight, Marcus."

"Goodnight, Lily."

She switched off the phone and took an oxycontin with a sip of water. Then, she turned off the bedside lamp, scooted her body downward, turned onto one side and buried her head in the pillows, preparing for sleep.

Usually, she left the television or stereo on to quash her thoughts and let the background noise lull her into slumber. But tonight, Lily sought out the quiet. She wanted to think for a bit -- to think about Marcus.

*****

They had met in a chat room -- of all things -- over a month ago. After essentially cutting herself off from the outside world, Lily had soon grown bored. Her mind wasn't clear enough to write and her hands were too shaky to draw. She sadly accepted the fact that there would be no more "Shadow" books. Her body of work was complete. Her legacy was already prepared.

Loneliness began to consume her, so she started to explore chat rooms -- something she would have never done years before. She started out searching out areas where topics such as writing, literature and movies were discussed. But she soon found that these sites were mostly filled with horny men and women of all ages trying to hook up for what she imagined to be cybersex.

After a week of this, Lily switched to a 30-something chat room, wondering if she might find someone her own age with whom she could interact. A few days later, she discovered Marcus. He was attracted to her sparse profile identifying her as an author living in Florida. After a few lines of virtual conversation, he asked her to join him in a private chat room. She had hesitated, suspecting that once they were alone, the sex chatter would soon raise its head. But it didn't.

Instead, they began to share some basic information about their lives. Lily learned that Marcus was 26 years old, a native of Haiti who had immigrated to the United States to attend Princeton. He graduated with a degree in Computer Science and eventually took a job as a software engineer for a large company in New York City. When she asked him why he was in a 30s chat room when he was only in his twenties, he told her that he preferred to chat with people older than he because he found those his own age to be immature. She had laughed at that as she could relate to this. She had felt the same way when she was his age.

Before long, Marcus sent a picture of himself to her. It revealed his face and torso. He was a light-skinned black man with a muscular build. But it was his dark brown eyes that really caught Lily's intention. Though she was only viewing them on a computer screen, they seemed to speak to her with an intense passion that could be interpreted in many different ways. And all of these possible ways intrigued her and drew her to him.

Their online discussions became more intimate in the sense that they began to share more of their true natures with one another. Marcus told her about his childhood in poverty-stricken Haiti and how he was still so grateful that his parents had sacrificed so much for him. They had scrimped and saved while raising him so that he could be schooled.

At one point, Lily revealed her condition to Marcus. She couldn't remember when or even how she had mustered up the gumption to do so when she didn't have even the slightest inkling of how he might respond.

His reaction to her "secret" was one of compassion, but not pity.

Lily was relieved. Pity was the reason that she had cut herself off from the people in her life. Once someone learned that she was dying, everything changed. They treated her differently, spoke to her differently and obviously bit their tongues during a conversation.

Marcus continued to treat her as he always had, although sometimes she thought she detected a bit of sadness in his written words.

A short time later, they made a mutual decision to speak on the phone instead of typing words back and forth to one another. It was then that Lily discovered Marcus' alluring French accent. She was immediately smitten, but told herself that she was reacting foolishly to nothing more than a pleasing voice.

When she did make a remark about his accent, he just laughed and offered to teach her in French. They began with some simple words and phrases. Lily had always wanted to learn another language, so she took in as much as she could and even began to feel proud of herself.

At first, they would chat on the phone for a few minutes two or three times a week. Then their talks grew longer and more frequent. Lily barely noticed the change. Somehow, things felt as they always had with Marcus. The only thing that she found annoying was that he kept pestering her to send a picture of herself to him. She repeatedly declined. But he was persistent, bringing up the topic at least once a week. Initially, it amused her. Then it began to annoy her. She wanted nothing more than to send him the image he sought, but she could not bring herself to photograph herself in her present state: disturbingly thin, dark circles under here once bright green eyes and a scarf wrapped around her head to hide her baldness.

She considered sending an old picture in which she appeared not only younger, but healthier and decisively more attractive. But that wouldn't be fair. Lily had no desire to deceive Marcus. She cared far too much for him to depict herself as she once was and would never be again.

*****

Lily shifted her legs restlessly beneath the sheets and turned over onto her other side. A meow of complaint came from the foot of the bed where Marnie always slept at night.

*How much I care for him . . . * Her own thought was suddenly bouncing around inside her mind. Could it really be possible that she was falling in love with him -- or was already in love with him? If she let her emotions take hold of her, she knew it to be true. But if she let her intelligence take control instead, she was able to rationalize how ludicrous the whole idea of romance was while the omega of her life was approaching so rapidly.

Eventually, Lily fell into a fitful slumber, peppered with dreams of warm kisses and hot flesh. Marcus' likeness, which she had long ago memorized, played on like a never-ending movie in her mind while she slept.

*****

The next day, Lily did not log onto the computer at lunchtime as she usually did. When she woke in the morning, she came to the conclusion that it was best if she began to ease herself away from her dependency on Marcus. After all, it was an exercise in futility and there was literally no future to be had with him, no matter how much she desired one. Yes, she was in love with him. She had already confessed this to herself while trying to pay attention to the morning news on television. But to embrace her emotions would be a mistake -- a horrible mistake that would only add to her pain.

She was drifting upon a flimsy cloud of somnolence, one hand mindlessly petting Marnie. Lily's ears were still able to hear Marcia's movements in other rooms.

The phone rang. She raised her head and propped her chin on her elbow to look at the clock: 3:09. Who could this be? She picked up the phone.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Lily, are you all right?"

It was Marcus, and he sounded very worried, almost distraught.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"I was so worried when you didn't show up for our lunch chat."

"Oh." Lily found herself at a loss for words. "I -- I -- I'm sorry," she stammered.

"What happened?"

"Um -- I guess I fell asleep," she lied.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Well," he began at last, "as long as you're okay."

"I am, Marcus. Don't worry."

"Okay, then."




Forever



Lily heard a hint of skepticism in his voice, but said nothing.

"I'll talk to you tonight then."

Now it was Lily's turn to hesitate. "Marcus, maybe -- uh -- I don't know . . . " She was trying to tell him not to call, but her mouth was not cooperating.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, his voice elevated to a higher pitch.

Lily relented. "No. No. Nothing. We'll talk tonight."

"Good. I can't wait."

"Me, too," she replied, her emotions getting the better of her.

*****

The rest of the day was almost unbearable. Her nerves were jangling relentlessly despite the Xanax that she took three times a day. She was restless. She had no appetite. Marcia was visibly concerned. She checked Lily's vital signs more often than she usually did. She tried to convince Lily to eat something. 

Lily couldn't bear the nagging. She settled on having a bowl of triple fudge ice cream before Marcia went home.

Marcus called at 8:20.

They fell into their pattern of pleasant greetings and questions about the events of their day.

Lily reached her limit after only a few minutes. She had to do this. She had to end it. And she had to end it now.

"Marcus," she began, hearing a distinct quiver in her voice, "I don't think -- I mean we have to stop -- I don't know if I can --"

"What's wrong, Lily?" His voice was strained. "What happened?"

"It's about you -- no -- you and me. It's just -- just . . . " Much to her amazement, Lily suddenly burst into tears.

"Oh my God," Marcus exclaimed. "What are you talking about? Did something happen? Are you all right?"

Lily began to sob, a sound that was quite unfamiliar to her ears. "Marcus, I love you," she blurted out.

He breathed a sigh of relief into the phone. "Mon dieu!"

"Oh Christ, " Lily groaned. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm just an old fool. An old dying fool."

"No, no, no," he protested. "You're no fool." He paused to clear his throat. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you just said that."

"W-what?"

"I've been wanting to say it for so long. But I was afraid. I'm still afraid."

Lily sniffled and reached for a tissue. Tears were pouring down her face and her nose was dripping. "Why are you afraid?" she managed to ask.

"Because I was worried you didn't feel the same way about me," he replied softly.

"Oh, Marcus." She began to cry again. She just couldn't seem to stop -- to hold it all in. "How could you even think that? After all we've shared, how much we care about each other . . . " She tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle another sob. "We're soul mates, Marcus." As soon as the words left her lips, Lily regretted saying them.

"Yes, yes we are." Marcus' voice was just barely above a whisper.

"But it's not fair," she protested. "It's not fair to you. You shouldn't be wasting your time with me. I'll be gone soon and -- "

"Love is love," he said, cutting her off. "Amour! It's what life is all about."

"No, it isn't," she murmured.

"You say that, but you don't mean it. I know you too well. You put up a very solid wall, but I can see between the bricks."

They talked for a while longer. Well, Lily tried to talk, but mostly cried. Marcus did most of the talking, comforting her, expressing his love for her.

"Don't cry," Marcus urged many times during their strained conversation.

"I'm so tired," Lily muttered a while later. "I'm exhausted."

"I know, my sweet. Go to sleep. Get some rest."

"I will."

"And dream about me, okay?"

Lily could see his smile in her mind.

"Okay."

*****

Lily was surprised to find herself in a good mood in the morning. Marcia seemed shocked by the sudden change, but didn't ask any questions. Lily was grateful. She couldn't even imagine how she could explain things to her.

It seemed to take an eternity for noon to arrive, but it finally did. Lily logged on with highly charged enthusiasm. But, Marcus was not there.

She stayed online for two hours. Nothing.

Lily tried not to read too much into it. There were so many reasons why he could have been forced to miss their lunch chat.

The remainder of the day dragged on and on. She didn't care about anything except hearing Marcus' voice on the phone.

But, he didn't call.

Lily stayed awake until midnight, trying to remain calm.

*****

The next morning, she woke with a start. Marcus' absence was the first thought that snapped into her mind. She sulked all morning, feeling like a silly schoolgirl, watching the clock and waiting. Again, she logged onto the laptop at lunchtime. Again, he wasn't there.

It took a while, but Lily finally screwed up enough courage to call his cell number. There was no answer. The outgoing voicemail message kicked in. She contemplated leaving a message, but couldn't think of what to say.

Depressed and forlorn, she took a Percocet and a Xanax and went to sleep.

*****

"Lily?"

Lily sat up, startled. The glow from the television was the only light in the darkened room.

Marcia was standing in the doorway of the bedroom. "There's someone here to see you."

"Someone is here?" Lily asked incredulously. She looked at the clock. It was early evening. "Who?"

"It's a man," Marcia answered. "A black man."

Oh My God! "Tell him I'm not here. No, wait, that doesn't make sense. Tell him I'm asleep."

Marcia hesitated. "Are you sure?"

Lily groaned as thoughts and images and words spun about wildly inside her head. "Yes, I'm sure." She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"All right."

Lily's body was rigid as she sat there in bed, listening to muffled voices coming from the living room. She closed her eyes. This was awful, just awful.

"Lily?"

Her eyes flew open in a flash. She knew that voice. "Marcus!" She pulled the sheet up to her chin. She was wearing a matronly sleeveless cotton nightgown. "What are you doing here?" she cried, one hand flying to her head to make sure her scarf was in place. It was.

"I had to see you, Lily." Marcus took a few tentative steps forward. "I just had to see you."

"But -- "

He stepped further into the room, obviously growing bolder with each stride, until he reached the bed. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt, faded jeans and sandals. His hairstyle had changed since he had sent Lily his picture. He now sported short dreadlocks. 

Marcus sat down and reached out a hand to stroke her cheek. "Ma chere," he whispered. "At last . . . "

She started to cry. Dear God, why can't I stop crying?

"Ssssh." Marcus continued to stroke her cheek, wiping away some of her tears in the process.

Lily touched his other hand and entwined her fingers with his. "I'm glad you're here." The words had gushed out before she could stop them.

He smiled. "Good."

She smiled back at him.

Suddenly, he stood up. "I have a surprise for you."

Lily looked up at him. He was taller than she had imagined. "A surprise?"

He reached out an arm, offering his hand to her. "Can you stand?"

"I think so." She took his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet.

"Come with me," he said with a smile.

"Where?" Lily felt her eyes widen with trepidation.

"We're going to have a picnic on the beach and watch the sun set."

"But, I can't. I'm not dressed. I -- "

Marcus placed his fingertips against her lips to silence her. "It doesn't matter. Nothing matters right now except for this."

Lily felt a flutter in her heart that she hadn't felt in years and years. "I can't walk very well," she warned him.

"Just hold onto me," he told her as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "We'll just take it slowly."

After pausing for Lily to slip on sandals, they made their way to the front door, Lily leaning heavily on Marcus. Finally, they stepped outside together and he guided her to his rental car.

"Ready?" he asked after helping her into the car seat and fastening her seatbelt.

Lily nodded. She couldn't believe this was happening.

*****

The sky was changing colors when they reached the parking lot. Shades of lilac, crimson and indigo blue were painted across the sky.

"How did you know that this is my favorite part of the beach?" she asked in surprise.

He smiled. "Marcia told me."

Lily thought about this for a moment and then began to laugh. I sure misjudged her, didn't I?*

Marcus helped her out of the car. "I've got a cooler and a blanket in the back. Let me just grab those and -- "

Lily caught sight of the wooden steps leading down to the narrow strip of sand that constituted the "beach" in Naples. "Marcus, I can't walk down those stairs."

He paused in the middle of taking the items out of the car. "Okay," he said, tilting his head, clearly thinking. "Wait here." He took her hand and helped her to sit down on the top plank.

She watched as Marcus carried the cooler and blanket to the beach. Moments later, he returned and took her hand again. Even with his help, Lily had to struggle to stand. She looked out at the sand and sighed with frustration.

Marcus' brows knotted with concern. "What's wrong?"

"I can't walk in the sand," she replied softly. "I just can't."

He smiled. "Not a problem." He scooped her body up into his muscular arms. "My goodness, you're light as a feather!"

Lily chuckled, but felt embarrassed at the same time. She was only light as a feather because she was wasting away.

Marcus carried her onto the beach and laid her down on the blanket. The sun was beginning to set. Lily propped herself up onto her elbows to look up at the sky, but her eyes drifted to Marcus instead. She found herself wanting to drink in every contour and shadows of his face so that she would be able to memorize this moment. She sensed he was feeling quite the same as his eyes remained focused on her face.

"You're more beautiful than I imagined," he said. "That picture I've been hounding you about wouldn't have done you justice."

Lily felt herself blushing and her hand went immediately to the scarf on her head to make sure that it was still covering her baldness.

Suddenly, he cleared his throat and turned to open the cooler. "Best get to this before we lose the daylight altogether."

Lily nodded in agreement and used what little energy she had to sit up.

They shared a small meal of farmer's bread, brie and white wine. There were also grapes for dessert and Marcus insisted on feeding them to Lily, one by one, with his fingers. She laughed with delight, surprised at how easily the sounds of joy were coming out of her mouth.

When they were finished eating, Marcus pushed the cooler away and stretched out on top of the blanket. After the briefest moment of hesitation, Lily did the same.

"This is so beautiful, Marcus," she said softly, resting her head against his shoulder. "I'm so glad you came."

"So am I," he replied as he rolled his head toward her and kissed her.

Lily's breath caught in her chest. The warmth of his lips was amazing. She opened her mouth, her tongue seeking his. She felt unexpected ripples of desire flowing through her body as they kissed, and kissed some more.

"Marcus . . . " she breathed into his mouth; but she had no further words to say.

He began to stroke her body through her flimsy nightgown. Lily tugged at his t-shirt, trying to pull it over his head. Marcus stopped touching her just long enough to remove his shirt. He was breathing faster. She could see the rapid movement of his bare, hairless chest rising and falling beside her.

For Lily, things began to move in slow motion. Marcus removed her nightgown. Then his hands were touching her everywhere, lingering on her breasts, tracing the sharp curves of her hips. His lips followed his hands, planting gentle kisses against every inch of her skin. His head moved back up to her chest and his full lips closed over the tips of first one breast and then the other. He began sucking her nipples gently.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you," he murmured as his hand reached down between her legs.

Lily nodded, breathless. She reached for his belt but her hands were shaking so much that she couldn't even maneuver the clasp. Marcus eased her hands away and took over. In no more than ten seconds, he was as completely naked as she was. 

He embraced her, holding her tightly against his chest. Lily ran her fingers up and down the length of his back, scraping her short nails against his smooth black skin.

Marcus shifted his position and began suckling at her breasts once more. A moan of pleasure escaped Lily's lips. She could feel his hard penis pressing against her thigh. And she could feel moisture seeping out from between her legs. 

Marcus reached between her thighs, parted them gently, and slowly swirled two fingers around her wet vaginal lips.

"Let me know if I'm hurting you," he said again.

"You're not." Lily's voice was nothing more than a gasp of breath trying to produce words.

Marcus removed his fingers. His body slithered down the length of hers. He took hold of her hips, placed his mouth between her legs and nibbled at her sensitive flesh. Then the tip of his tongue began flicking against her clitoris, tracing circles around the hardened nub.

"Oh God!" Lily cried. "Oh Marcus!" She grabbed hold of his muscular shoulders as the shivers and shudders of an approaching orgasm wracked at her weak body.

Marcus pulled his mouth away. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she lied. The arching of her back was sending bolts of pain shooting down her spine. But she didn't care. Pain and pleasure were colliding; she chose the pleasure. "Don't stop," she urged him, tangling her fingers in his dreadlocks, "don't stop."

He pressed his mouth to her vagina once again and used his tongue to toy with her clitoris some more.

Lily heard sounds coming out of her throat that she didn't even know she could produce. Her orgasm was consuming her, fast and hard.

Marcus crawled up the length of her body and held her tightly as she lost all control. She was shaking and moaning. She grabbed onto him for dear life until the final shudder released her from the joint grasp of ecstasy and agony.

He kissed her hungrily, devouring her lips with his own. Lily could taste her own juices as she returned his kiss with every ounce of passion she possessed.

Though satiated and struggling with the pain, Lily parted her legs again and reached down to guide Marcus' stiff penis into her soaking wet vagina. Marcus groaned immediately. He propped himself up on his hands and began pushing into her gently.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Push harder."

Marcus accepted her invitation and began thrusting into her more forcefully. He lowered his head to kiss her head and Lily's scarf slipped off. He took no notice and continued to plant kiss after kiss upon her bald head as the pumping of his penis into her increased in both speed and force.

Lily scratched at his back, then took his head between her hands and kissed him, bit his lower lip and sucked on his tongue. The tip of his penis was grazing against her sweet spot and she felt another climax approaching. She also felt Marcus' body begin to tremble with his own approaching release. Guttural groans escaped his throat and, with one final convulsive thrust, he erupted inside her, flooding her vagina with a rush of hot semen.

Marcus rolled away from her and collapsed onto the blanket. 

Lily willed her body to relax. The pain was rising to an excruciating level, yet the pleasure of their lovemaking was striving mightily to defeat it.

He took her into his arms and held her against his body. They were both dripping with sweat. Above them, darkness had fallen. The glow of a half-moon illuminated the black sky and created a sparkling shimmer upon the ocean.

The only sound around them was the soft whisper of the surf.

Suddenly, Lily felt tears on her cheeks.

Even though his eyes were closed, Marcus somehow sensed her tears. "What's wrong?" he whispered. "Did I hurt you? Are you all right?"

She didn't want to tell him about her pain. She didn't want to spoil this delicious moment. "Nothing's wrong," she murmured. "I'm just -- " She faltered. Then a grin strained at her lips. "I'm happy."

Marcus chuckled. "So am I, ma chere. So am I."

Still, tears continued to flow down her face.

Marcus squeezed her tighter. "Don't cry, baby. Don't cry. Je t'aime"

"Je t'aime trop," Lily replied, resting her head against his damp chest. "How long can you stay?" she asked, dreading the answer.

He took her chin in his hand and raised her head to face his. He looked deeply into her eyes. "Forever."

END

Copyright 2011 Moondancer. All rights reserved. Not to be distributed, reproduced, or transmitted in any manner without the express written permission from the author.



Forever...



I know its Ali's turn to talk, but this time, I will. It had been six weeks since I gazed on her face. Weeks of sorting through my fathers' estate after his death. Weeks of isolation from Alisandrea. We'd spent hours on the phone every night talking, but it was the smell of her, the feel of her I missed. Hell, I craved everything about her.

I was back in the city. My loft smelled unused, the myriad of boxes of my fathers' belongings tucked away in a corner of the spare room. I was restless and walked out the lobby, down the street, till I found myself standing in front of an ugly orange building. Her building. 

I walked up the extra steps since she had changed apartments. After 44 days I didn't know if I had the right to be here. After all, I left. Not that I had much of a choice on the reason why. I was contemplating if I should knock when the door jerked opened.

She was beautiful. Her thick crimson hair fell below her shoulders. She stood immobile, staring. She had jeans and a tshirt on but she could have been nude and I wouldn't have been more impressed by the sight of her.

"James," she whispered. I smiled at the sound of her voice. In a surprise move she flung herself at me, wrapping herself around me. I held her tight, my face buried in those beautiful locks. She smelled as I remembered and my groin responded quickly.

I pulled back and caressed her cheek with my thumb. She smiled softly at me and kissed me. She was warm, soft. There were tears in her eyes. They sparkled with joy, anger, and sorrow. I pulled her tight to me and inhaled the scent that was hers.

"He wanted me to marry a shrew before I could get his money. I told the lawyers to shove his demands and walked out." She softened under my hands and pulled back to watch me. "I packed the things that meant- anything- to me and came back as soon as I could," I whispered. She kissed me softly.

"I love you." She said simply.

I smiled. All those weeks of hate slipped from me as my hands stroked her back. "I love you."

She stepped back and pulled me into the room. It was quite a bit bigger than her old one. It was lighter, decorated with an all culture twist that was uniquely hers.

We walked into her bedroom and I was disappointed in not seeing the fountain in the corner but I didn't have the chance to contemplate it because she pushed me to the bed and straddled my thighs. Ali pulled off her top to reveal the most luscious breasts I've ever touched. Did they seem fuller?

I pulled her down and kissed her softly. Those lips were my undoing. I rolled her over and stood. I pulled off my clothes as fast as I could, watching her as she stripped off her shorts. Ali spread her legs as I kneeled over her, slipping into her. Tight. Warm. Pulsing. For me. She was wet as I slid to her opening, rubbing the head of my cock on her gspot. Her hands gripped my back reflexively and I shivered in pure pleasure as she dug her nails into my skin.

She wrapped herself around me and clung tight. "I've missed you," she whispered in my ear.

"My beautiful Alisandrea," I replied and shoved hard into her. She cried out and held on tight as I fucked her. Hard. Harder. Her breasts crushed to my chest were quivering with our fucking. Something I hadn't noticed before. She jerked under me and screamed in my ear. I pushed as hard as I could as I spilled my seed into her body. We stayed locked for an eternity. I nuzzled her neck, tasting the damp skin, reveling in her taste. I slid down her neck and lightly licked her left breast. She moaned softly. She slid her legs down my thighs and relaxed as I wrapped my lips around her nipple. 

My cock was still hard inside her. Once wasn't enough. I pulled slowly out of her then buried myself deep. Grinding my hips into hers. I felt her legs pull up again, giving me complete control. Oh yes, I wanted to hear her groan, whimper, beg for me to push her over the edge. I needed to feel her muscles grip me so tight I couldn't thrust. I pulled up, bracing my shoulders and fucked her deep and steady. 

"James, oh James please...." She panted. Her hands palmed my chest as she arched and pushed against me. 

"Tell me..." I said softly. I wanted to hear her say it. She was beautiful. Her skin was flushed with desire, breasts rising and falling quickly. I looked down at our sexes and groaned in pure pleasure. My cock disappearing into the tightest woman I've ever known. Swollen lips cradling me, rubbing me as I pushed and pulled. I looked back up and saw pure emotion on her face.

"Take me. Fuck me. Make me hurt." She growled as her nails bit into my shoulders. I fell on top of her and pounded my cock hard and deep into her silky, hot sex. I bit her shoulder making her clutch me tight. Having just come five minutes before, I reveled in the feel simply being joined as one. Her heart pounded against my chest as she rolled trough another orgasm, her sex milking me so tight I had to pause. All these weeks of being denied the pleasure of her touch, her feel, her sighs of pleasure when I hold her hand, touch her face, and push deep inside of her. I sped up, wanting to come but needing this to last when I felt her teeth sink into my shoulder.

I roared as I hammered into her and emptied myself deep inside this incredible woman. I felt her shudder around me as a jerked and pushed. I slowed but held her tight. I don't know how much time passed till I felt her legs slide down my hips and flop on the bed. I pulled out and slid sideways, still pinning her to the bed. I raised my head and kissed her softly. I opened my eyes to tears streaming down her face. I wiped them away and kissed her again.

"I will never leave you again," I whispered. "I belong here, with you."

Ali smiled, tried to speak but only squeaked. She cleared her throat. "You better not. We need you." She pulled my hand down to her hips and placed it flat on her skin. "We."

I stilled. She was pregnant?! I laid there stunned, frozen. "How long?" I choked out.

"Two months from the doc says," she said. "Remember the night of your party? Yeah, I figured that was when it happened. That's why I moved apartments. This one is 3 bedrooms, one for us, one for whatever and one for the nursery." I looked up and could see she was scared. I kissed her softly.

"Well, there's only one thing left to do," I murmured against her cheek.

"What's that?" She whispered. I could hear all the emotions in those two words.

"Marriage." I said looking deep into her eyes. I settled myself on top of her again and pushed in deep. 

"Is that a proposal?" She said softly as her hips raised to let me inside. "No, this is." I lifted my head and gazed into her eyes. "Marry me. I want you as mine, forever."

Ali smiled, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Yes. Only if you realize that you belong to me, forever."

"Forever." I repeated and buried my cock deep into her again. This is what I had wanted, needed, craved with my heart and soul. Yes, forever.



Forever



He doesn't say much. But you're here to fuck, not to talk.

You are on your back, naked on the bed. Not in the bed, on it. The duvet has been stripped off and you lie on the crisp, white sheet. He is on his side next to you. He has one leg hooked over one of yours, spreading you slightly. His left arm is around your shoulders. His right hand cups your left breast, his thumb gently rotates the nipple. His mouth is on yours. He is a good kisser. His cock is rigid against your thigh.

He speaks. A low sexy voice that you can feel starting deep down in his chest. He speaks to tell you what he is going to do to you. And then he does it.

"I'm going to kiss you all over. I'm going to kiss your eyes..."

He kisses your eyes.

"I'm going to kiss your ears..."

He kisses your ears.

"I'm going to kiss your shoulders..."

"I'm going to kiss your breasts..."

"And you nipples..."

"I'm going to kiss your ribs..."

"I'm going to kiss your belly..."

"I'm going to kiss your hips..."

"I'm going to kiss your mound..."

He kisses your smooth, hairless, perfumed mound.

He gently removes his hand from under your back and moves down the bed. You raise your knees and part your thighs, forming your body into that bowl shape, that human sculpture that cradles a lover when he mounts you.

He moves between your thighs and kisses the smooth skin of your inner thighs.

He kisses the tight tendons that run between thigh and groin, the dividing line, the equator between belly and buttocks.

He kisses your mound. Again.

Then he speaks again. His face is so close to your cunt that he seems to be talking to it. You can feel his voice.

"My cock is very, very hard. So hard that the skin has pulled all the way back, exposing my knob. The little hole is gaping, ready to spurt thick, hot spunk inside you. Is your cunt ready?"

"Oh yes."

"Is it wet?"

"Very wet."

"Is it gaping open?"

"Wide open."

"Nothing to obstruct my cock then?"

"Nothing whatsoever."

"It doesn't need kissing then?"

"It doesn't need it, but kiss it anyway."

The finest kiss of all. He kisses your cunt. A gentle kiss on the lips. You cry out in delight. Then he opens his mouth wide and encloses your vulva with his mouth. He sucks gently and you seem to be turning inside out. His tongue snakes out and reaches deep inside, swirling to widen your already yawning sheath. He retracts the probe and uses it with his lips to trace a devastating trail down your labia, onto your perineum and onto the rosebud of your anus. His tongue stiffens again to penetrate the tight valve. You cry out again and then his mouth is gone, re-tracing its path upwards now, sucking your lips into his mouth in turn. Then it is on your clit.

His lips seem to draw the tiny bud deep into his mouth, sucking hard. You come, screaming in your release.

He moves up between your thighs, you are still high from the orgasm. His tip finds your opening without guiding and he slides inside. It seems to keep going deeper than you have ever experienced. At last he is all in. His pubes press against your bald mound, his balls rest on your buttocks, his knob must be pressed tight against your cervix. You want more of him inside, you wrap arms and legs around him and draw him closer. You want all of him in your cunt. You are all cunt. He is all cock. 

"Fill me."

He starts his movements, long and slow. Then faster, still deep, but pounding.

He comes. Grunting as he does so. And you can feel his cum flooding you. As he promised, jet after jet of rich, thick spunk filling what little space is left inside you by his massive cock.

You tip over the edge and topple into your second climax. More powerful than before. Your mind loses its grip on reality and cries out to him;

"Do it again. Fuck me again. And then again. Fuck me from above, fuck me from behind, fuck me from the side. Fuck me again and again. Fuck my cunt. Fuck my mouth. Let me drink your seed. Fuck my arse. Fill my innards with cum. Rub your cock on my tits. Rub it on my nipples. Lay your cock on my breastbone and wrap my tits around it, shape them into a cunt and fuck me there. Come on my throat and chin. Let me touch your cock. Let me hold it in both hands. Let me wank it. Let me see you come. Come on me. Come on my belly. Come on my tits. Come in my hair. Come on my face.

And then fuck me again. And again and again. Don't stop fucking me.

Fuck me forever."



Forever



All characters are over 18, this is a work of fiction, etc.

This story contains incest, so if that bothers you, feel free to pass.

This is an odd one for me. I kind of started on a whim, and hammered it out in one night. It is highly experimental, and very different than my usual kind of thing. I'm not sure if it's really erotic, but it should be interesting, at least.

If you care to comment, please be kind. If this isn't quite your thing, please take a look at my other stuff. As I said, this is quite a bit different than the rest.

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

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Ellie is babysitting again, even though I'm nineteen, near enough, and Will's twenty-one. Ellie always babysits. Ever since last year. When Poppa died in the robbery. Momma doesn't let any of us be home alone, now. Not never.

Ellie's babysitting. Will and I know well enough what that means. We share a sneaked look behind Momma's back when she tells us. I don't know what I should feel about Ellie. She's mean. She makes me do things I don't want to. She never really asks if I want to, or listens when I say no. She don't listen to Will, neither. What Ellie wants, Ellie gets. Even when it's not hers. But it's too late to change any of that.

But there are some things that Ellie makes me do that I can't never, ever do elsewise. So I hate Ellie, but I kind of look forward to her coming too.

Soon, Ellie's here. She's all smiles for Momma, and all smiles for us, and she and Momma chat quiet while Will and I sit and listen. It don't take long before Momma's going to work. It starts when we hear Momma's car back up out of the drive. Ellie's face goes from that sweet thing that always fools Momma and never fools me, and into a grin like a fox gives a chicken.

"You know what to do," she says to us, and me and Will look at each other where we sit on either side of Ellie, like she taught us. We do know, too. Swallowing, I lean forward, my heart going patter-patter. Will meets my mouth with his. His lips are dry and hard, but he opens them soon enough, and my tongue slips in, and I taste his tongue and teeth and spit.

We're sitting close in to kiss so deep. Ellie is soft and warm against me. I don't know what I feel about her being there with Will and me kissing. I never do. But I don't care no more. Not when Will starts touching me.

Ellie always wants Will to check me and tell her when I'm ready. Then she always makes me beg. Beg for it, beg for him. Beg for Will's pecker. I always do, too.

"She's all slick," he breaks up our kiss to say. His fingers are still playing as he says it, playing with me, naked under my night shirt. I always feel like I'm his, when he touches me like this, like I'm his favorite toy, and he really does like playing with me. It aint the truth, he's doing this all for her, but I feel it now anyway.

I push against him, sighing with the sweetness his touch gives me. It's wrong to feel it, I know it is, but Will and me have been going on for so long it don't matter no more.

"Let me see," Ellie says impatiently, like Will can't do nothing right and she has to do it herself. But I seen what she looks like down there when she touches me, and I aint fooled. She wants to touch me, no matter what. I squeak when she pushes her cold fingers in me, and my pussy clenches tight on them. "This cunt's nice and wet, all right," she says, pumping those fingers in me more and more until I just can't stand it.

"Ma'am," I say, like she taught me to, "I'm gonna cum if you keep at me like that."

She sighs like I am being a chore to her, but she is smiling, too. She makes me clean her fingers when she pulls them out. I don't know I like that. I like it more when she makes me lick on her, cause then I can make her cry and shake. Then, I'm almost in charge, in a way. And she always hugs me close when I'm done, and she kisses me and says I'm a gift to her.

"You ready for Willie's dick, Lila?" she asks, petting my head like I'm some dog she's gonna give a treat to. Even though Will isn't hers, and he should be mine. I nod, but I know that aint enough. "Well, girl? You want it? Huh?"

Will is watching me as Ellie pinches my cheeks and keeps on teasing me. He's always watching me, now. He told me once if I ever didn't want to, he'd tell Ellie no, too, and he'd give her a shiner if she pushed. I know he said that just cause he doesn't want to, not with me, not like he does with Ellie. But he pretends otherwise. He's a good brother.

"May I have it, Ma'am?" I ask. "Please, Ma'am, can I have him? Have his cock in me, in my cunt?"

"Ooh, such language," she scolds, even though she is the one who told me to say it in the first place. "Okay. I'll let you borrow him. Now you know what's next."

I nod, and I scoot my butt up on the cushion. I lift my legs wide, so one is on the arm of the couch, and one is on Ellie's lap. My night shirt is up over my hips. He can see me, they can both see me. I bite my lip, watching Will as he pulls his shirt off. He's skinny, but he's got muscle to him, too. Like he's trying and trying to be a man, and his body's fighting him on it. But the last couple weeks, he's winning that fight. He looks nice.

He watches me, too, when Ellie pulls the button loose on his pants, and pulls the zipper down and pulls his prick out. He's long in her hand, but he aint all hard yet. Ellie gives another Ellie sigh and spits on her hand. She uses it to stroke him and stroke him till he starts to get real, real hard.

"Look at that! So ready for Lila's little puss, then, Willie? You want the bitch?"

Will watches me like he only watches me when it's time. His eyes burn blue on me as he watches. He's looking for me to say no, like he wants me to, looking for me to shake no. Then he'd stop, like he wants to. Then he'd fight her, and then it'd be over. And then I couldn't pretend he was mine no more.

My head makes a nod, and I scrunch forward a little bit more, getting more open for him.

"Yeah," he says. "Can I fuck her, Ellie? Can I fuck Lila? Please?"

"Good boy," she says, patting his butt as she pulls him closer, closer, till he's on top of me. Then she smacks his butt. "The bitch is all yours, stud. Go get her, now!"

My legs are in his hands, and he's pulling me closer, and then he's resting against me. He feels so good. I want him so bad, even if he doesn't want me too. I shouldn't want him, but I just don't care anymore. I want him in me, deep in me. His blue eyes watch me, and I can pretend he's all mine, and not wanting her at all.

Then he pushes in me, pushes slow and long. He's ice cream on a August day. He's grass under my feet and wind in my hair. He's blue eyes looking in me, wanting me, holding me. He's mine, all mine, mine forever. He's all there is, all I want, all there ever can be.

He's in me so deep, stretching me till I want to scream. So I do. I howl and hold his shoulders and move up against him. I try to be everything she is, try to be better than she is, so he'll want me. Even though he won't. But I can pretend.

"Fuck that pussy!" I can hear Ellie's hands working at her self under her skirt, but I don't care. Will is mine, for now. He's in me and he's mine.

"Fuck me," I gasp at him, pulling him down harder, pushing up harder, meeting him, making him buried in me. All in me. All mine.

I remember the first time she made him have me, and that first time, and that pain. And it's worth it for these minutes when he's mine. For Will, I'd do it all again. The weeks of shame and pain and fear. Now there's just him, and just me, and just us, and it's all so good. Everything is good, for now.

"I'm gonna cum, Lila," he says, his breath hot on my face, his sweat and my sweat running down on me. He doesn't ask Ellie, like she tells us to before we cum. He doesn't look at her, and doesn't act like she's there at all. His blue eyes watch me, burn me, wash me clean. I'm hot and slick and swollen and need him more, more, more. He's all mine, forever.

"Yes," I moan. "Yes, forever. Will, forever!"

"Forever," he grunts, and his lips are on mine, and I'm all stars and fireworks, all tight, hot pleasure and gasping and shakes. And he pours in me, and I'm full. Full with him. Full with his seed. Full with his love. And he's mine forever, and Ellie scratching at his back and screaming can't take him from me.

For a minute, he lets her hit him, just lays in me, on me, licking my lips and sucking my tongue and whispering how he loves me. Then he pushes up, and he slides out, his cum dripping down, and he faces her.

Ellie stops, then, a second before his hand hits her, all quiet like. And she looks surprised, kind of like she wonders where she went wrong. And then she's on her knees, and she has a look like she knows where she went wrong, and that she should know he's a man. A man, now, all man, and all mine. And she looks sorry.

Will doesn't say nothing. He just grabs her by the neck and pulls her head between my legs, where she's never ever been. And he's pushing her down till her mouth is on my slit. And he's holding her there, holding her tight. She gasps, and sputters, and finally licks.

It feels good, having her there, having her licking me, licking my spend and Will's spend, knowing he's all mine, now, mine forever. And she's the one on her knees, and she's the one with her face covered and sticky, and I'm the one who doesn't need her at all. And I'm the one who's free, and I'm the one who's taking. And he's mine forever. Never hers, never again.

Then Will is pushing her away, and she's crying on the ground, and he's crawling over me. My hands are on his back, and I can feel it, slick and hot and red, and I'll tend to him later, make the bleeding stop. But for now, he's hard and he's pressing in me, and I take him again, take all of him, and he's all mine.