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Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 01

By: BOSTONFICTIONWRITER



"Okay, quiet down, quiet down, please. Everyone take your seat. This month's meeting of the Least Appreciated Sexual Holidays will come to order," said Stan, the Sexual Calendar Coordinator, banging his gavel to bring order to the meeting before having the secretary read the list of objectives. "For the benefit of those who haven't participated in our monthly meetings in a while, Jack our Secretary, will read the activities from the previous months meetings. Jack if you would please, the podium is yours."

"So far we've celebrated Martin Luther King's Day in January with a naked black face play that didn't go very well with the black community," said Jack.

Too many people just didn't see the humor in a bunch of white men playing Negroes," said Stan. "They said our cocks were too small to be believable."

"February's Groundhog Day was a big success," said Jack.

"That was a good idea that Hal had to make that slight variation from Groundhog to Beaver Day. We all banged a lot of beavers that day," said Stan.

"March's St. Patrick's Day was a fun time with all of us playing Leprechaun tricks on our wives culminating in exchanging house keys in the middle of the night while our wives were in bed sleeping. April's Earth Day celebration and bonding with the Earth by attending that nudist colony was a good idea, that is, until we all were kicked out for having erections. May's Mother's Day was a fun time by taking nude photos of our moms and exchanging them with one another," said Jack.

"I'd personally like to thank Hal for bringing in that twenty minute video of his naked Mom masturbating. Thanks Hal. That was the highlight of May's meeting and for those who missed it, I'm sure you could persuade Hal to lend you the DVD," said Stan.

"Most recently June's Father's Day holiday was a fun time taking nude photos of our daughters and exchanging them with one another," said Jack.

"Again, I'd like to thank Hal for bringing in that webcam of his daughter exposing herself to some stud she met online never realizing that it was her dad all along," said Stan. "Way to go, Hal. Your daughter is quite the dancer. She may have a future stripping."

"A Dad can only hope," said Hal.

"Now, we come to this month's least appreciated holiday, National Nude Day and the reason why we are all here," said Jack looking up at his audience of perverted men.

"Thank you, Jack, nicely done," said Stan. Everyone clapped for Jack reading the previous months activities. "Before I forget, just a reminder, next month is National Hypnosis Month. I'm expecting a lot of creativity from you guys. Hal won last year when he hypnotized his mother and had her strip naked and give him a blowjob. The video was amazing, Hal. I don't know how you do it."

"She still doesn't know she blew me," said Hal. "I hypnotized her into thinking she was sucking a lollipop."

"Okay, so, who wants to go first and tell the group what you did to celebrate National Nude Day. As a reminder, I hope you all abided by the rules of our little National Nude Day celebration, which are you must be naked, it must be sexual, and it must be something you've never done before." 

"I will" said Nick waving his hand from the front row.

"Okay, Nick come on up and address the group. Let's see, you told us last month that you had planned on celebrating National Nude Day anally with an anal demonstration display. Is that correct?"

"Yes, it is, Stan."

"If you don't mind me saying Nick, I'm a little surprised that you never had anal sex with you being Greek on your mother's side and Turkish on your father's."

"Yeah, well, I'm a throwback, I guess. It never appealed to me until I chose to give it a try with last month's meeting."

"Okay, Nick, the floor is all yours."

"Well, first I'd like to thank the Perverted Men's Symposium for giving me this wonderful opportunity to expand my sexual horizons. If it wasn't for the support of you guys, I'd really be frustrated or on the sex registry list and/or in jail. This is a great way for the group of us perverts to experience our sexual peccadilloes in a safe way without venturing in the community. It's like we have our own in-house and in our own home perverted society. You are all a bunch of wonderful guys, especially you, Hal. Thank you."

"PMS! PMS! PMS!" The guys clapped and cheer his little speech.

"Well, I'll start from the beginning. As all you guys know, my wife, the love of my life, is an active and very vocal feminist."

"Feminist my ass, she's a butch dike," said Hal, "and swears at and threatens any guy with an ass kicking who looks at her the wrong way."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, as to call my wife a butch dike, Hal."

"She wears men's clothes, Nick, for God's sake. She's a dike and a butch."

"Okay, I admit that my wife is a little socially bi-sexual and who also happens to be a feminist," he said with a nervous laugh

"Feminist? She hates men."

"Okay, I admit that my wife does have a preference for women over men. Thank you for making that exception public information, Hal."

"Don't mention it. My pleasure. It's the least I can do."

"Well, as you all now know, thanks to Hal, my angry, butch dike, lesbian of a wife who really hates men wouldn't allow me to stick my cock up her ass. She was being quite the party pooper; forgive the pun, to my National Nude Day celebration."

"Tough shit, Nick," said Dave. "Does this mean you were successful in having anal sex?"

"Let him continue with his story," said Stan.

"I told her that it was very important for me to fuck her anally and I explained that, as a proud member of PMS, that it was my way of celebrating National Nude Day. Further, I told her that I didn't want to disappoint the guys by not having anything to tell them. I told her that I needed to report back to you guys what I had volunteered to do, that is, of course, to get naked and fuck my wife anally, something that we have never done before. Still, she wouldn't allow me the pleasure of fucking her up the ass. She, uhm, threatened to beat me unconscious if I came anywhere near her ass with my cock."

"Damn, Nick," said Hal. "You're the man for even attempting that sexual feat, especially with your wife."

"Thanks, Hal."

"Unfortunately, even after promising to take her to the Big and Tall men's department store to buy new overalls and men's underwear, she wouldn't consent to having anal sex with me. However," said Nick beaming a big smile, "she did have an idea that saved the day for me and an idea, I dare say, I imagine, since I've never had anal sex before, was much more enjoyable than if I had anal sex with my angry, man hating, butch dike lesbian of a wife who happens to be a feminist."

"So, tell us, how'd you get around it, Nick? We all want to know."

"Well, because my wife is a card bearing lesbian, she suggested that she had a way to satisfy my requirement to have anal sex in celebrating National Nude Day. Of course, I was interested in her suggestion, as I really wanted to try anal sex. Really, I had no idea what she was going to do. Unfortunately, I think she misunderstood my intended purpose. She told me to get naked, turn off the bedroom light, and get on the bed with my ass up in the air."

"This doesn't like it's going to end very well, Nick," said Dave. "I think she understood your intended purpose all too well, if you ask me."

"Well, I had feared that too in the beginning, especially being exposed in the way that I was with my naked ass up in the air. I couldn't imagine how on earth I could perform anal sex on my wife perched on my knees, head down, and with my ass sticking up in the air like that. Until my wife, the good sport that she is entered the bedroom wearing her strap-on dildo. You have to love her zest for sexual exploration. God bless her heart. Let me tell you, I was envious of her phony cock. I wish my cock was as long, thick, and rigid. The thing was huge."

"I knew this wasn't going to end well," said Dave.

"Now, hold on, there," said Nick. "Alls well that ends well in the end and at the risk of being the butt of everyone's jokes and being made an ass of, I just want to say, don't knock being fucked up the ass by your angry, man hating, butch dike lesbian wife until you've tried it."

"You tell them, Nick," said Hal. "But, if you don't mind, I'll just take your word on it."

"Thanks, Hal."

"Anyway, Karen, that's my wife for you who don't know her. By the way, I must apologize to Eddie, again. My wife really beat the shit out of you back in March when we all played tricks on our spouses that culminated in switching house keys. We all had a good time with everyone's wife. Hal, your wife was amazing. She rocked my world."

"Thanks Nick, my wife is quite the nymphomaniac?"

"You shocked the shit out of my wife, Eddie when you appeared in her bedroom naked," said Nick. "Perhaps, next year, Eddie, when we switch house keys, maybe you should stay at home and send your wife to my house instead. Admittedly, I think my wife would be more receptive to a pussy than to a cock."

"So, what happened, Nick? We're all dying to know," said Dave.

"Well, first Karen gave me a few hard whacks with her hairbrush. She said that it was necessary to warm me to the process of her fucking me anally and that it would make me not focus as much on the horrible and unbearable pain I'd experience when she stuck that big, hard rubber dildo up my ass."

"You're a brave man," said Dave.

"Yeah, well, let me tell you," said Nick wagging his finger at everyone. "I stood my ground, I'll have you know, and I told her that if she was going to beat my ass with her Harley Davidson belt to at least remove the buckle first. That buckle really hurt."

"And did she," said Sam.

"Oh, yeah, she's a real Sweetie when he comes to me. She saw that he buckle was leaving red welts. She really treats good, real good, and she happily complied with my wishes, that is, after she kneed me in the balls and called me a girlie man."

"Please continue with the story, Nick," said Dave. 

"Well, first she gave me a rim job with her tongue before she really started going at my ass alternating her tongue with her finger. She was tossing my salad. Let me tell you, I can never eat another Cesar Salads without thinking of Karen lapping my ass with her tongue."

"Wow," said Dave. "You are blessed with an unselfish woman for her to toss your salad like that. My wife's not into anal sex at all. She thinks the whole thing is shitty."

"Anyway, that was the first experience that I have ever had with someone licking my ass. Then, Karen put some of that lube in my asshole. Let me tell you, that was such a weird feeling. The gel was so cold. She lubed her fat little finger and rammed her finger up my ass real good while turning it."

"Damn, Nick, you're the man," said Dave.

"I said to her, Karen, I'm really enjoying this so far, but I think it would feel a bit better if you removed your skull and cross bones ring before sticking your finger up my ass. And she did. She's a saint, I tell you, a real saint."

"You have a good man, I mean, woman, there, Nick," said Hal.

"Thanks, Hal."

"So, what was it like," said Sam.

"Yeah," said Dave. I've never had anyone stick anything up my ass. "What did it feel like for her to stick her finger up there?"

"It felt good and bad at the same time; do you know what I mean? Then, she started concentrating on my prostrate gland and I thought I was going to shoot my load right there. But then, she mounted me. She was humping me like she was a Greek sailor away at sea too long and I was a young virgin kidnapped maiden. That's her favorite game to play. She loves it when I scream like a woman while she fucks me."

"Damn, Nick, that's just a bit too much information to share, but you really went to town on this one. You may even win over Hal this year," said Sam.

"Don't count on it," said Hal.

"She rammed that big, black dildo up my ass and believe it or not, it felt good. Reaching around, she was pulling and tugging at my nipples. That felt a bit weird and she kept calling me Nicole or her bitch sex slave instead Nick, which was a bit disconcerting. I have never shot that much cum in my life. Yet, overall, it was an enjoyable time, maybe, a tad more enjoyable for her. And that is how I celebrated National Nude Day anally."

"Here, Nick," said Stan, "you left your rubber donut pillow up here."

Everyone clapped while Nick took his seat and Stan took the podium again.

"Well, that was an amazing story, Nick. I thank you for sharing that with the group." Stan applauded him and everyone clapped again. "And certainly, we are all pleased that the anal surgery went well to dislodge and retrieve that dildo from your ass after it broke off from Karen's belt and got stuck there. That must have been a big relief for you, I can imagine."

"Oh, yeah," said Nick, "I couldn't wait to take a good dump once they removed that thing from my ass hole."

To be continued... 

Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 02



"Okay, who's next? Who celebrated National Nude Day and wants to share their story with the group? Also, let's not forget the rules. You must be naked. It must be sexual. And it must be something you haven't done before."

Eddie raised his hand.

"Okay, Eddie," said Stan flipping through pages of what each man had volunteered to do in celebration of National Nude Day. "Let's see here, you decided to do something with bondage, discipline and sadomasochism. Is that correct?

"Yeah, it's something I've never tried but have fantasized about doing for a while."

Come on up, Eddie and share your story with the group. Let's give Eddie a warm welcome."

Everyone clapped and whistled their appreciation.

"Thank you, thank you everyone. Happy Nude Day. It's great to be a pervert. PMS! PMS!" Eddie raised his fisted hand and cheered the group. 

"PMS! PMS! PMS!" The group cheered back.

"Okay, okay, calm down everyone. We don't want to attract the attention of the police like we did last month over Hal's webcam showing of his daughter dancing while stripping online," said Stan. "Please continue, Eddie."

"Well, unlike some of you guys, Nick in particular, my wife doesn't know that I'm a card carrying member of the Perverted Men's Symposium. She thinks that I belong to the Moose Lodge, which is what I tell her when I come here. I mean, yeah, she suspects that I'm a pervert, of course, no doubt, especially after she found those nude photos of her sisters and her mother that I had taken with a hidden camera when they visited last year and stashed them away in my sock drawer."

"Can you bring those photos in sometime?"

"She confiscated them and burned them. Sorry, Sam."

"Wow that sucks. I hide my photos in the ceiling over the loose tile. My wife would never think to look there," said Nick.

"Anyway, that was really embarrassing when she found those naked photos of her mother and sisters, but that's another story for another time."

"So, if your wife doesn't know you're a pervert, who'd you try the BDSM on and how'd you get her to go along with it?"

"That's a good question, Dave, and I was getting to that. I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous standing up here in front of all you guys telling you about my Nude Day celebration. Suddenly, I feel like I'm at an AA meeting baring all my personal information."

"Relax," said Dave. "You're among friends who share the same interest, naked women."

"Actually, I got the idea for bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism from Nick's wife when I snuck in her bedroom on St. Patrick's Day hoping for a bit of fun with the big woman. She was the one who turned me on to it. She bound me, gagged me, blindfolded me, and then beat the shit out of me. It felt good in a bad and painful sort of way. Hey, at least I was naked and she saw me naked. Sorry, but I'm nervous."

"Take a breath," said Hal. "Think of asses, tits, and pussies."

"Asses, tits, and pussies. Thanks, Hal. Asses, tits, and pussies. Okay, I'm good to go. Well, it all started when I got my wife, Cindy, drunk. It doesn't take much to get her inebriated, just a glass or two of cheap wine. She loves those wine coolers and they always make her a bit horny, too. They make her a bit sleepy, too. She drinks them with a straw."

"So, what did you do? Did you beat her, discipline her or tie her up," said Sam.

"Well, after that beating that Nick's wife, Karen, gave me, I'm not into physical pain all that much. I mean, spanking is good and I love spanking a woman, especially through her panties after lifting her skirt. I've fantasized about tying a woman up though and having my way with her, you know. I find that exciting to imagine."

"Oh, yeah, that's always good. Years ago, I tied up my high school teacher, Mrs. Crabtree, once and stripped her naked. Man, she was hot and she wanted it and me real bad. Did I tell you guys that story?"

"Several times, Hal. Thanks for sharing, but Eddie has the floor," said Stan. "Please continue Eddie."

"Well, it was time for bed and we had been fooling around on the sofa, not much more than making out and petting, but she was aroused. She was feeling my cock through my jeans and I was feeling her erect nipples through her bra. She has big nipples. Matter of fact, I brought a couple photos of her tied up." He handed the photos to Dave. "If you'd be so kind to pass those around to the group, Dave, I'd appreciate it."

"Oh, baby, this is going to be good," said Dave looking through the photos. "You're wife has a great body, Eddie."

"Thanks, Dave. Anyway, I helped her upstairs and maneuvered her to the middle of the bed. She has a queen and I have a twin." 

"Wait, hold on, Eddie," said Hal. "She has a queen and you have a twin bed? What the fuck is that all about?"

"We have separate bedrooms."

"Are you kidding me? Separate bedrooms? Nobody but the Queen of England and her husband have separate bedrooms." 

"Anyway, we continued making out, kissing and touching but we both were still fully dressed. She thought that I was getting ready to push her panty aside, unzip myself, and pull my cock out and fuck her."

"Sorry, hold on, again," said Hal. "Push her panty aside, unzip, and pull your cock out? What is that about? What are you in high school? What happened to getting naked?"

"I was getting to that. What makes this Nude Day celebration so special is that I've never been naked with my wife. We've never seen one another totally naked."

"What the Hell kind of pervert are you if you sleep in separate bedrooms, fuck her by unzipping your pants and pulling your cock out, and you've never seen one another naked. You actually mean to tell us that you haven't ever seen your own wife naked?"

"Well, yeah, why do you think I'm here? Why do you think I'm a pervert? I have all this repressed sexuality that I—"

"This is a crock of shit. I haven't heard anything like this since June and Ward Cleaver of the Leave It To Beaver show or the Ozzie and Harriet Show with Ricky and David Nelson. This is a bullshit National Nude Day celebration story. What the Hell kind of a pervert are you? We should have your ass removed from our Perverted Men's—"

"Hold on, Hal. Allow Eddie to finish his story," said Stan. "We'll decide later if this is a good National Nude Day celebration story and if he's a real pervert or not and worthy to continue his membership in our exclusive group. Okay? For now, let's just hear the man out. Please continue with your story, Eddie."

"Well, she wears a lot of scarves in her hair. She has long hair that she pulls back with the scarf. It looks nice the way she does that. I pulled four of them from her drawer in the dresser."

"What are you doing," she said.

"I thought I'd try something a little different tonight."

"Oh, kinky," she said. "Are you going to tie me up? Help, help," she said. "I'm being kidnapped and raped."

"My wife loves playing that game," said Nick. "We play that almost every night." 

"When she said that, I got an erection. I mean, I never seriously considered kidnapping and raping a woman, but it is an exciting fantasy to play out with someone who is agreeable to doing that with you."

"This is getting good," said Nick. "Only, my wife plays the kidnapper and rapist while I'm the victim. Just once, I'd like to be the kidnapper and rapist. Only, she won't let me."

"Shhh," she Stan. "Please continue with your story, Eddie."

"First I tied her wrists to the bedposts and then I tied her ankles. I didn't tie the so tight to leave a mark but I tied them tight enough for her not to escape."

"He sure sounds perverted to me," said Sam. "I mean, I'm a real pervert and I never tied my wife to the bed. I've thought about tying her to the bed and leaving her there, though, especially on those days when she's on the rag and goes on an on about stupid shit. That's when I fantasize about sticking my sock in her mouth and tying her up for the rest of the day."

"Shhh," said Stan.

"There she was tied to the bedposts and the first thing that I did was to lift her skirt up to her waist. I mean, I got an erection just thinking about lifting her skirt up to her waist while she was tied to the bed and couldn't do anything to stop me."

"Oh, yeah, he's perverted alright," said Sam. "Way to go, Eddie."

"I'm embarrassed to admit that I've never done anything like this before. I was in total control of her. It was so arousing to lift her skirt and expose her panties like that. I only wished all your guys were there to see me lift her skirt and to see her panties, which is why I took the photos."

"Me, too," said Sam. "Maybe, you can arrange something for us later. How big is your closet? Can we all fit in there while we watch you ravish your wife after tying her up?"

"C'mon, guys, let Eddie tell his story without all the interruptions," said Stan.

"I fell between her legs and sniffed her panties. The musky aroma was intoxicating."

"Oh, yeah, definitely, he's perverted," said Dave.

"Then, I turned on the light. I wanted to see her naked."

"What are you doing, Eddie," she said. "No don't. No light. Turn off the light," she said involuntarily trying to close her legs, but they were tightly tied to the bedposts and her white, cotton panties were fully exposed.

"I don't know what happened but something snapped and I rolled her over a bit and slapped her ass through her skirt and panties. Then, I lifted the back of her skirt and slapped her ass through her panty. She looked like she was enjoying that, so I gave her a few more slaps on her panty clad ass. Suddenly, I imagined that I was slapping the ass of a Dallas Cowboys football cheerleader. I've always wanted to do that."

"Way to go, Eddie!"

"Thanks, Hal. Anyway, I climbed off the bed and pulled the long sewing shears from the drawer, the heavy duty ones that she has when she makes drapes."

"Eddie," she said. "What are you going to do with those?"

"Shut up, Bitch. I'm going to cut your clothes off," I said. "Now that I'm standing here, I think one of the reasons why I'm standing here is because I've been so repressed sexually, which is why I think that I'm perverted and one of the reasons that I've never seen my own wife naked." Nervously, he paced back and forth as he told his story.

"Purge, Eddie, purge," said Hal. "Get it all off your chest."

"I could have unbuttoned her blouse and unhooked her bra. I could have unzipped her skirt and pulled down her panties, but I think cutting her clothes off made more of a statement. Don't you think?"

"PMS! PMS! PMS!" The guys cheered him on to continue with his story.

"Well, I cut her skirt up the middle first and pushed the material to each side of her. There she was in her white, cotton panties. Oh, my God. I thought I was going to cum in my pants seeing my wife's white, cotton panties. Clearly, I could see the dark coloration of her bush through her panties and she had some pubic hair sticking out each side of her elastic band."

"Well, I hope you don't have any doubts now, Hal, about this guy being one of us," said Dave.

"Okay, yeah," said Hal. "I admit he's perverted. Shh."

Then, I cut her white, cotton blouse up the middle and pushed the material to each side of her. There she was in her white bra and white panties. She struggled. She screamed and the only thing that calmed her down was when I rolled her over and slapped her ass."

"So, did you fuck her?"

"I'm getting to that, Hal. I cut her panties and exposed her brown bush. This was the first time I've seen her pussy. I mean, I've touched it with my fingers before but I've never actually seen it like this with the overhead light on, too. I mean, I could clearly see everything, her pussy lips and her clit."

"Wow," said Sam. "This is like listening to a virgin describe the first time he had sex."

"Before I cut her bra, I got between her legs and smelled her pussy. Then I stuck my tongue in there and started licking her."

"Don't tell me this was your first time giving your wife oral sex."

"It was, Dave. And I loved it and so didn't she. I had her so wet and she was wiggling her ass all over the bed. It was amazing. She had two orgasms, her first orgasms ever."

"Fucked up, Eddie," said Hal. "How many years have you guys been married?"

"Fifteen years. While I was eating her pussy, I reached the scissors up and cut her bra. Moving the Lycra away, I started fondling her tits and nipples. It was amazing to touch them out of her bra and more amazing to see them."

"You've never touched her tits out of her bra before?"

"No, never, this was the first time, Sam. Then, I jumped down from the bed and stripped off my clothes. This was the first time she saw me naked. I showed her my cock. I put my cock by her hand and even though her wrist was still tied to the bedpost, I stood on the bed and allowed her to feel my cock, stroke it, and play with it. It was an amazing feeling to feel her fingers on my cock and then to have her wrap her little hand around it while stroking me a little. I mean, she couldn't really stroke me because her wrist was tied."

"I plan on putting you up for the golden pervert award after this story, Eddie. I can't believe your wife of fifteen years not only has never seen your cock but has never even touched it," said Hal. "Gees, Eddie, when I was over your house the night of St. Patrick's Day, your wife couldn't wait to get me naked and she snapped on the light herself."

"Really? Are you serious? You had sex with Cindy?"

"Yeah and she gave me a great blowjob, too. She swallowed. All this time, I figured you two were having hot sex. I had no idea. Well, now I understand why you are so perverted, Eddie. I'm sorry for you. And now I understand why she was so insatiable."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Hal. Only, I didn't know my wife blew you. She told me that she was sleeping when you came in the bedroom and that you woke her up by sitting on the bed. She said that she screamed and that you ran from the house. She said that was all that happened. She didn't tell me that you guys actually did it."

"Nah, she just said that not to make you feel bad. The only time she screamed was when she screamed my name after I gave her an orgasm," said Hal. "You have a good little cocksucker there, Eddie. You make sure you treat her nice. If you want my advice, the first thing that I'd do to improve your sexual relations with her is to sleep in the same bed with her...naked."

"C'mon, guys, we'll never get through the list with all these interruptions."

"Okay, back to my story. I climbed on the bed and positioned myself so that my cock was by her mouth. She blew me. My wife actually sucked my cock."

"See? I told you," said Hal.

"Did you cum in her mouth?"

"I did, Sam. I shot a big warm load of cum in her mouth and she swallowed. It was unbelievable."

"See, I told you," said Hal.

"The only thing..."

"What? Why the long face? It sounds like you have a very successful Nude Day celebration," said Stan.

"Well, I, uhm, left for work early the next morning. I leave at 5am and she usually sleeps late. Because I went to bed so late, I was half asleep when I left the house. I forgot that I had left her tied to the bedposts like that."

"Gees, she must have been pissed when you remembered and turned around and drove back to the house to let her loose," said Dave.

"Yeah, well, the thing is that I didn't remember and worked the whole day, but she was in a good mood when I came home. The neighbors alerted the fire department and they responded with the police and found her like that tied up and naked. At least a dozen guys saw her like that, including her minister her came to the house to find out what was wrong."

"Someone is in the doghouse," said Hal.

"Doghouse? No. She told me later that she had sex with all the guys who came to rescue her, including her minister. I figured she's lying just to get back at me. I mean, I really don't think she had a gangbang."

"Nah, she never lied to you before has she? That is, except for the time that she didn't tell you that she blew me? I mean," said Hal, "what are the odds of her lying to you again?" He laughed out loud.

"Fuck! My slutty wife should be the one standing up here telling her story, not me. I can't believe she pulled a gangbang. That explains why that cop didn't give me a ticket when he looked and saw Cindy in the car with me and that explains why the fire truck blows their horn and waves at us every time we pass by the firehouse. Gees, I've been such a dope."

To be continued... 



Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 03



"Before we continue with our next speaker," said Stan. "I'd like to read a letter that I received from Duncan last week." 

"Yeah, where is Duncan," asked Hal?

"He was arrested," said Stan. He had all intentions in participating in our National Nude Day celebration but was arrested for his antics in trying to develop his story idea."

"Arrested," said Dave. "Oh, my God. Why?"

"What happened," asked Hal?

"I can't believe Duncan, of all people, arrested," said Sam. "He'll be on the sex registry for sure."

"Join the club," said Nick.

"I'm on there, too," said Eddie.

"Pipe down you guys and let me read his letter. His letter will answer your questions."

"Dear Stan, 

I hope this letter finds you well. I know you were sick with the flu last month.

I decided to celebrate National Nude Day with a demonstration of exhibitionism. Can you imagine that? I know you must be getting a good laugh from that, instead of being the voyeur, having someone voyeur me.

I got the idea when my wife told me that she was visiting her sister for a week. I mean, it didn't dawn on me right away. It took me a while to percolate the idea. 

Anyway, her sister just had a baby and I figured that I'd paint the dining room, as a surprise. We had been talking about it for months and she already had the color picked out. We just haven't gotten around to buying the paint. I went down to Home Depot. They were having a sale and I had a half off coupon, as long as I opened a charge account with them, which I did," read Stan stopping his reading of Duncan's letter when he was interrupted.

"I opened a charge account with them, too," said Ed. There's no interest for the first year."

"No kidding," said Nick. "I should open one. I need to buy some stuff."

"Come on, you guys. Let me finish reading Duncan's letter," said Stan.

"Sorry," said Ed. 

"I wasn't going to participate in this month's competition," continued Stan reading the letter. "I had no idea what perverted thing I'd do to celebrate National Nude Day. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, every day is National Nude Day to me. Being the pervert that I am, I'm always looking for semi-naked or naked women; that's my thing. 

Everyone knows that I'm the biggest voyeur there is, but according to the rules of the competition, I must be naked, it must be sexual, and it must be something that I haven't done before and I couldn't think of anything that fit all those three rules. I mean, certainly, I could satisfy the sexual part of the rules, but being naked and having to do something new was throwing me for a loop. 

And you know me, same old stuff, up skirts, down blouses, and topless beaches are my passion. I'm never without my binoculars and digital camera snapping away to capture whatever they are willing to show. I was racking my brain trying to think of something without having any luck. Then, the guy next door to me finally rented his apartment to three college chicks. He's been trying to rent that place for months," read Stan stopping again when the guys started talking amongst themselves, again.

"Hot coeds always work for me," said Sam.

"This is going to be good," said Dave.

"Quiet and let me finish reading Duncan's letter before making comments," said Stan.

"I couldn't believe it when they were moving in carrying their possessions by themselves without the help of a man," read Stan. "Thank you, God, I said to myself. Three young, hot women living next door to me alone and without a man, I'm a happy man. Gees, I wonder if they are all lesbian lovers.

Well, the next day, I moved out all the furniture from the dining room and put drop cloths down on all the floors. All the while I was thinking what I could do to satisfy the Nude Day Competition requirements. I knew I could come up with something using this stroke of luck in having three hot chicks living next door. But, what I had no idea.

I took down all the shades, turned on all the lights, and started mixing paint. I was going to throw on my old painting clothes, until I saw the women next door walking around their apartment. One girl, a busty blonde was in a nightshirt that barely covered her panties and didn't cover them at all whenever she stretched and yawned. The other a petite redhead was walking around with a towel on her head wearing baby dolls. Her panties were in plain view. I so wished that I could take a photo, but they'd see the flash of my camera. The third woman, a tall brunette, was walking around in her panty and bra talking endlessly on her cell phone.

Back and forth she walked in front of the window obvious to me looking over while watching her every move. She had bikini panties and one of those demi-cup bras; you know the ones that lift their tits and make them look bigger while giving them more cleavage. I love those bras. 

Oblivious to the thought that someone could see her walking by her window from the street. I figured she was a slut and just didn't care. You know how we guys immediately think that. I mean, she could have been the nicest, churchgoing woman, but if she didn't properly cover herself at all times, we'd think less of her. See, there I go again with the voyeurism stuff again. I can never remove voyeurism from my mind.

Normally, I would have turned off all the lights and skulked around in the dark, going from window to window while hoping that these three lovelies would think that there was no one home next door and be comfortable walking around in the nude or do some lesbian stuff, you know."

Again Stan was interrupted and stopped reading the letter waiting to get the attention of the guys.

"I wished I lived where Duncan lives," said Dave. "I have an old man on one side of me and an old woman on the other side. Nothing ever happens."

"Maybe you should introduce them to one another," said Hal.

"Yeah, well," said Stan. "I don't think you'd want to live where Duncan is now, being that he's out on bail and on strict orders from the judge not to have anything to do with the women and to keep his shades drawn on that side of his house, at all times."

"How'd you find all this out, Stan," asked Sam?

"I called him after I received his letter and to tell him that I was writing him a letter."

"That was nice of you, Stan," said Sam.

"Let me finish reading Duncan's letter."

"So, what the Hell, I figured, my wife wasn't home and no one would suspect that I was doing something perverted other than painting in the nude, so as not to get paint on my clothes," read Stan continuing with Duncan's letter. "Also, I figured that they'd think that I didn't know my neighbor had rented the place and that it was still empty. So, I stripped off all my clothes and started prepping the walls. As soon as I walked out in the dining room, they saw me and turned off their lights. At that point I knew they were watching me. I was so nervous.

Now, I felt like all the women that I had watched. I wondered how many women knew that I was watching them while they were showing me the bras, panties, tits, ass, and pussies. It felt weird to have the roles reversed. Now, I was the exhibitionist instead of the voyeur. 

I had never exposed myself before and, at first, I stayed with my back to them, showing them my naked ass, most of the time before turning to the side to give them some side views of my cock. Every now and then, I'd walk by the windows pretending to get something. Then, I'd disappear in the bathroom and stroke myself a bit to maintain a semi-erection.

I mean, I didn't want them to think that I had a little penis, you know, but I didn't want them to see me walking around my house with an erection either. I didn't want them to think of me as a pervert. I wanted them to think of me as a man who didn't know there was anyone living next door."

Again Stan stopped reading the letter.

"Wow," said Eddie. "He has the perfect setup."

"I can't wait to hear the rest and find out what he did wrong," said Nick.

"Well," said Stan, if you allow me to finish reading Duncan's letter without all the interruptions, you'll find out what happened." Stan ruffled Duncan's letter to quiet the group before continuing his reading. 

"Tell me if I'm wrong, but I believe that I meet the three rule criteria, I was naked, this was definitely sexual, and this was my first time exposing my cock to strangers, albeit three hot college women.

Only, I was afraid they might be videotaping me for evidence to give the police. Then, I thought, that I was being paranoid. I'm in my own house painting, what can they do? I'm not breaking any laws, I hoped. Figuring there's some law on the books to get me arrested and placed on the sex offender's list, I took my chances. Besides, I'd use the defense that I thought the place next door was empty.

The fact that they were all so young and so hot, made me so horny that I temporarily lost my mind. This was the opportunity of a lifetime, three young, hot college women walking around their apartment semi-nude and my wife wasn't home. I couldn't have arranged for a better scenario.

The most difficult thing to do was not to look in their direction. Much like an actor on stage trying to not look at the camera and to act naturally, it was difficult to keep my eyes focused straight ahead. Yet, I was so damn curious. I mean, certainly, without a doubt, I knew they could see me and with their lights turned off, suddenly, I knew they were watching me and I was aroused with the thought that they were staring at my cock. Our houses are thirty feet apart and I had all the lights blazing with the shades removed from the windows. It was perfect or so I thought.

Only, as time passed, I grew hornier. My horniness made me grow bolder. Suddenly, I had a raging erection. I don't know why I did it, but I did. My inner voice warned me not to do it. I reached down and started stroking myself. It didn't take me long to cum and I shot my load in a paper towel. And that was my downfall. 

As soon as I started masturbating, I knew I was overstepping the boundaries of innocent behavior of walking about my house in the nude under the premise of painting to perversion and exposing myself to my neighbors and masturbating in public. I knew I was screwed. Unable to control myself from doing so, I looked in their direction a few times. Stared was more like it.

I was curious to know if they were still watching me and I was hoping to see them watch me jerk off. And you all know how there are some women who get off watching a guy masturbate or so they say, I was hoping that they were that type of women. I was hoping that I was making them horny.

Ten minutes later, the police knocked at my door and arrested me charging me with lewd and lascivious conduct. Apparently, one of the college coeds was the daughter of a Police Captain. Isn't that just my luck? I don't think they would have arrested me had her father not been the Captain of the Police. Even my lawyer said he can get me off and that he's not too concerned, only it's going to cost me some money to beat the rap.

I quickly threw on my pants, shoes, and a shirt before opening the door. I denied everything, but I was right. The girls turned off their lights, not so much to watch me, but to videotape me for police evidence. Had the woman not been the daughter of a policeman, she never would have thought to do that. 

They arrested and took me down to the station. Because I have a prior criminal record, some minor sexual offenses that happened so long ago, I don't even remember, I'm under house arrest, ergo the reason for this letter. I haven't told my wife, yet, and she's been home a week. Man, she'll be pissed when I tell her. She'll know that I purposely exposed myself, too. I'm fucked."

"Wow, poor Duncan," said Sam.

"Wait," said Stan. "I'm almost done reading."

"I hope you can read this letter as part of my participation in the National Nude Day Competition for the Perverted Men's Symposium," read Stan looking out to the group. I think this constitutes as an entry. What do you think guys?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely," said Dave.

"I agree," said Hal.

"Me, too," said Sam, Nick, and Ed nearly at the same time making the vote unanimous with a raise of hands from all the others members present.

"I'd hate to have gone through all of this for naught," read Stan. "I mean, it was a perfect opportunity and I can't tell you how many times I've used the fodder of these circumstances to jerk off while thinking about three coeds watching me parade around my house naked and masturbating. I can't wait to see you guys to tell you more of the details in person.

I know you guys videotape everything. I'd appreciate it if you could send me a copy of the DVD. I'd like to see the reaction of you reading this letter so that I can see and hear everyone's reaction.

Thanks,

Duncan"

"Well, that was a letter written from Duncan while under house arrest," said Stan looking up at everyone.

"Wow, that really sucks," said Dave.

"So, what did you write to Duncan, Stan? I hope you told him we all support him."

"Yes, of course, I told him that and more. Let me get a copy of my letter and read it to you."

"Dear Duncan,

I'm so sorry for the unfortunate circumstance that necessitates this letter. How awful it is for you to go through this. I can't imagine the embarrassment, once your neighbors begin finding out what happened. I'm sure that you'll be ostracized from the neighborhood, no doubt, after shitting where you eat, and all that. Not to mention your wife will not take this well, I'm sure. 

Our thoughts are with you and I hope all goes well for you. Hopefully, we'll see you at next month's meeting. Remember, next month is National Hypnosis month, which is the theme of our contest.

Just to let you know, that I plan on reading your letter to the guys at our next meeting and I'm sure they all offer their support in spirit to you in your time of trouble. By the way, The Perverted Men's Symposium is prepared to pay for up to $1,000 to help you with your legal expenses from the dues collected. I know that it's not much and probably not nearly enough, but it's something.

Of course, we will submit your letter in our contest as an official entry.

Good luck to you, Duncan and keep us abreast of what happens.

Sincerely,

Stan Kilblonski, PMS President" 

Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time.

If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter.

To be continued...



Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 04



"Before I ask for a story, I have a National Nude Day story," said Stan. "This is something that is close to my heart, albeit my black heart and something that I have been planning for a long time. It relates to the category of Non-Consensual and Reluctance."

"That's always a good category," said Sam. "I'll never forget the time I tied up my neighbor's wife when we were all drunk out of our minds and stripped her before—"

"Shh, another time, Sam, please. I have the floor."

"Sorry Stan."

"Well, as you all know, I'm officially divorced, finally, but not before my wife and her mother took everything, the house, the car, the boat, my savings, a portion of my retirement, and even the dog. I'm gonna miss that dog, poor Buster. It was a long and bitter divorce with my mother involved up to her neck the whole way."

"Oh, boy," said Nick. "Mother stories are always good."

"Well, for those of you who have met my wife know that she is busty, an understatement. She has a D cup and her mother has a double D cup. Tits run in her family. Her grandmother had big knockers and my daughter has huge hooters, too. You can't attend one of our family gatherings without accidentally grabbing, I mean, feeling, I mean brushing against tits," said Stan with a dirty laugh.

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"Having big tits is nothing to be ashamed about, Stan. Think of all the money the women in your family save on breast implants and floatation devices. Besides, maybe your daughter will make you proud by getting a job as a stripper to pay her way through college."

"A Dad can only hope," said Stan.

"Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits!"

"Okay, guys quiet down. Stan has the floor," said Sam. 

"Also, for those who know both my ex-wife and ex-mother know that they are churchgoing women, upstanding members of the community, and very modest, which is probably why I'm the pervert that I am today. Because of being married to my wife all those years, I have all this pent up frustration and repressed sexuality. Also, no doubt, being a pervert is the reason for our divorce because, apparently, she told me on more than one occasion that I and my behavior was an embarrassment to her family."

"Hey, I'm proud to be a pervert," said Nick.

"Me, too," said Ed.

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"My wife, much like Eddie's wife, never went for nudity and never undressed before turning out the light. It was a rare occasion that I ever caught a glimpse of her big tits."

"Damn shame," said Dave. "There's nothing worse than a good set of tits going to waste and not being used, stared at, caressed, felt, sucked, and worshipped."

"I couldn't tell you the arguments we'd have because I'd want her to wear something sexy and something that showed off her cleavage. Nope, no way, she'd button her blouse all the way to the top button. She could have been a Nun, but Nuns have more sex than she gave me," said Stan with a bit of remorse in his voice.

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"I never met your wife, Stan," said Hal, "but she sounds like she has some serious sexual issues. It's been my experience that many large breasted women were sexually abused."

"She sounds like a woman that I'd like to abuse," said Dave.

"Yeah, it sounds like you guys are on the opposite ends of the spectrum there and needed to meet somewhere in the middle," said Sam.

"Well, yeah, it's too late for reconciliation. Besides, I never understood her modesty. She always thought she was fat. I thought she was perfect. She's a few pounds overweight, but she's not obese or anything. She has a decent body and so doesn't her mother. It's in the genetic makeup for the women in her family to be a little chubby. She's more voluptuous than she is fat. I like a woman with some meat on her bones."

"This is beginning to smell like a revenge story, Stan," said Dave.

"It is, Dave," said Stan.

"What's that saying, revenge is a dish best served to your cold ex-wife and her bitch of a mother or something like that," said Hal.

"My ex-wife's mother has been going through the change, you know, PMS hormone shit. If she wasn't crazy before, she's loony now. Definitely, she needs a man in her life to pull her down from the ceiling sometimes. She needs to get laid to calm her the fuck down."

"If you're asking for a volunteer, I'm your man," said Sam.

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"Yeah, well, not that kind of PMS, but you get my meaning. Suddenly, she has turned into a daredevil or sorts. Either that or she has a death wish. She bought a motorcycle, took up scuba diving, and recently went skydiving," said Stan.

"No offense, Stan, but I'd like to see your mother and her double D tits squeezed so much like toothpaste in a wetsuit."

"No offense taken, Nick, and yes, it's a sight to behold. Looking so much like an older version of Raquel Welch, the first time I saw her, I wanted to pull the zipper of her wetsuit down with my teeth and gobble up her monstrous tits."

"Raquel Welch. There's a memory," said Eddie. "I wonder what happened to her."

"She got old," said Hal. "She's got to be close to seventy. Angelina Jolie replaced her, that is, until Brad knocked her up with twins. Jessica Alba is the next big thing."

"Anyway, back to my story. My ex-wife, much like her mother, never went anywhere alone, which is another reason why we are no longer together. Wherever she went, her mother followed. You never saw one without the other. They were always together. Attached at the hip, they could have been sisters, twin sisters. She even brought her mother along with us when we vacationed."

"Boy, do I have a story about twin sisters," said Hal.

"Later Hal," said Stan.

"I always wanted to try skydiving, naked skydiving," said Ed.

"Thanks for the image, Ed," said Dave. "And I don't mean that in a good way."

"Yeah, well, because my ex-mother wanted to try skydiving, my wife skydived with her. My wife rode piggyback on my ex-mother-in-laws motorcycle. The things that my wife should have been doing with me, she did with her mother."

"It's always been a fantasy of mine to ride piggyback on a hog with a woman who has big tits. Definitely, I'd have plenty to hold on to and grab should we take a turn too fast," said Sam. "Please forgive the interruption, Stan."

"Anyway, one of the things that my ex-mother wanted to try was bungee jumping. With that in mind, this is my National Nude Day revenge story of my ex-wife and mother-in-law."

"Damn," said Ed, "I just got an image of Stan's mother bungee jumping braless and topless."

"Now, there's a good image," said Dave.

"You didn't cut the bungee rope, did you Stan," asked Sam?

"No, nothing like that, but better. Remember the rules of the competition. You must be naked, it must be sexual, and it must be something new that you haven't done before. Only, for this instance, since I'm in charge of the contest, I bent the rules a bit. Moreover, I had already bungee jumped, so that wasn't something new. Also, I wasn't the one going to be naked."

"Okay, then, how does this fit in with the Nude Day celebration?"

"Well, I purposely picked National Nude Day, specifically for that reason. Not many people celebrate it. Most people don't even know the holiday exists. I figured it was time my ex-wife and her mother found out about National Nude Day or in their cases personal nude day. They both needed their inhibitions loosened up a bit."

Counting off the seconds, Stan looked at his watch while pointing to the door. 

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, show time."

"You sick son of a bitch," said a busty woman barging in with another busty woman who was an older version of her."

"I'm glad my daughter divorced your ass, you pervert," said the other.

"Everyone, I'd like to introduce Kathy, my ex-wife and her mother, Christine."

"Hi," said the group of men never removing their gaze higher than their chest.

Kathy and Christine ignored their welcome and marched up on to the stage.

"So, this is it? This is what you do? You stand around here and share your sexual perversions and your perverted stories with your perverted friends?" She stared at her ex-husband. "All those times you told me, you lied to me, that you were going to the Moose Lodge, you were coming here."

"Mooo!"

"Who said that?" Kathy peered out over the room of men. "You calling me fat?"

"Allow me to explain," said Stan to the group. "I promised my ex-wife and her mother that if they attended our meeting today and told their story of what happened to them on National Nude Day or in their cases, personal nude day, that I wouldn't share the photos that I took of them with you. Moreover, I threatened to post them on the Internet."

"I'd rather see the photos, Stan, than hear the story," said Hal.

"Who said that," asked Kathy? "How dare you? Which one of you sickos want to see my and my mother's tits?"

"I do," said Hal, "if you are a mind to show them. I'd love to see you and your mother's giant boobs. Think of me as you would your doctor, think of me as you would you mammogram technician, but just think of me by showing me your tits."

"Tits! Tits! Tits!"

"Well, I'm here to tell my story and to make sure that you never see these puppies," she said putting her hands beneath her breasts and lifting them.

"This is a winner. I just feel it," whispered Dave to Hal.

"Yeah, well, I haven't had my turn, yet," whispered Hal to Dave. Don't forget and I've never lost a competition."

"Ladies, the stage is yours," said Stan.

Stan climbed down and allowed his ex-wife and her mother to share the podium and the microphone.

"Testing, one, two, three," said Kathy speaking in the microphone before tapping it with her finger.

"It works, Kath," said Stan.

"My sick son-of-a-bitch ex-husband is a pervert."

"Tell us something we don't know," said Hal. "We're all perverts, here, which is the reason for this monthly meeting."

Like a great tsunami emerging from the back, continuing across the great room to the front, and washing over the stage in a great thunder of voices, clapping hands, and stomping feet, the noise was overpowering.

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"What the Hell is that," asked Christine cowering against her daughter while covering her ears?

"This is the Perverted Men's Symposium, PMS," said Stan.

"Well, that figures," said his ex-mother standing too close to the microphone and howling her voice through the speaker.

"He knew my mother was going through a hormonal imbalance," said Kathy, "and he took advantage of that." She took a step forward to look out in the audience.

"Kathy," said her mother, "don't stand too close to the edge of the stage. That strange, little man was just looking up your skirt."

"Eww," she said taking a step back. "I know you," she said pointing to Sam. "I know your wife. I had no idea you were a pervert, too."

"No, sorry, I don't know you," said Sam stepping away from the stage, sitting down and slinking down in his seat with his hand over his face. "Uhm, I'm not even married. I'm gay," he said.

"As soon as you tell your story, Kath, you are free to go with the photos that I took of you and your mother," said Stan trying to get her to focus on the reason why she is here.

"Okay," she said glaring her anger at her ex-husband. "This asshole anonymously sent my mother two free tickets for a bungee jump knowing full well that my mother had always wanted to try it and after skydiving, there was nothing holding her back from trying it."

"Look at the size of their tits," whispered Nick to Eddie. "I'd like to see her tits hanging down over me while Mommy and her daughter sucked my cock."

"Yeah," said Eddie shooting him an understanding look.

"He also knows that we both have a fear of heights, which is why my mom wanted to skydive in hopes of overcoming her fear. Me? I never would have skydived, had it not been for my Mom's insistence. Only, chickening out, they had to blindfold us for us to jump from the plane. Yeah, I know, it removes much of the excitement of seeing the scenery, but we wouldn't have done it without wearing the blindfold. Closing your eyes and keeping them closed, just isn't the same as wearing a blindfold."

"Fucked up," said Dave. "What's the sense of going skydiving blindfolded? That's like fucking your sister."

"Did you forget where you are, Dave? That's not a good analogy," said Sam. "I've always wanted to fuck my sister."

"Good point, Sam," said Dave.

"So," said Hal, "what does skydiving have to do with bungee jumping?"

"Well, since neither one of us had bungee jumped before, we didn't know what to expect. Our jump was the last bungee jump of the day. Only, unbeknownst to us, Stan's girlfriend, who I had never met until that day, works at the bungee jump."

"Now, that's convenient," said Ed.

"Oh, yeah, this is gonna be good," said Nick.

"She helped us get in the harnesses, only before she put the belt around us, she threaded and looped some rolled up duct tape through the front of my bra and another one looped and threaded inside our panties and in between our legs. I really didn't think anything of it. I figured it had something to do with the harness and I was grateful for the extra safety precaution."

"Damn, that makes me want to get a job at a bungee jump," said Sam.

"She tied the one threaded to our bras to the platform and tossed the line threaded to our panties to an employee down below who tied it off to the bottom of the platform on the ground. Besides, we didn't suspect anything wrong because she was a woman. Now if it was a guy sticking his hand in my bra and down my panty to thread duct tape, I would have refused and he would have received a knee to the nuts. We just assumed that they did this to all the customers. The females did it to the females and males did it to males."

"I'd like to stick my hand down her bra and panty," said Ed to Nick.

"Yeah, she's chunky in all the right places," said Nick to Ed.

"Anyway, it happened so fast, we didn't have time to resist. We were so high up, we were too nervous to think of anything else but diving off the bungee jump. There we were standing high up in the air and ready for our jump. They were all so very nice, that neither one of us thought there were planning any shenanigans."

"Oh, my God," said Dave. "I'm exerting all the control that I have not to pull out my cock and masturbate over her telling us this story. This is so hot. I think I know what's coming."

"Yeah, you will be cumming in your pants, if you don't calm down and listen to the story," said Hal.

"They put a special harness on us, one that we didn't have to step into but that we wore around us much like a water wing but for the waist instead of the arm. She buckled it, snapped it, and pushed us off the side," she said looking at her ex-husband before continuing. "More concerned with the jump, we didn't notice that the duct tape threaded through our bras pulled our shirts up over our heads and bras off on the way down. Then, on the bounce up, the duct tape threaded through our panties pulled our pants and panties down." She bit her lip. "We were totally naked."

"I was never so humiliated," said Christine. "I was mortified." She stared at her ex-son. "And this perverted asshole was on the ground taking pictures and yelling, Happy Nude Day! Happy Nude Day!" She punched him in the shoulder. "You saw everything! You saw my tits," she said punching him in the shoulder, again. "You saw my ass," she said giving him another punch. "And you saw my bush," she said giving him a final punch.

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"It was an ingenious plan. The bungee jump stripped us naked. My breasts hurt they were bouncing around so much." She looked out to the crowd of perverts. "I was never so embarrassed."

"Only, they put us on a short bungee cord," said her mother. "And instead of being close enough to the ground for someone to haul us it, after we finished bouncing and came to a stop, and throw a blanket around us, we hung a good twenty feet from the ground. No one could reach us."

"They left us there dangling and spinning naked," said Kathy. "A couple of men climbed the tower to pull us up, but the employees of the bungee jump locked the trap door in the floor before they left the tower. We were stranded there naked and swaying in the wind. No one could get to us." 

"Everyone was laughing, pointing, gawking, and taking pictures," said Christine. "One guy, it was probably one of you perverts, pulled out his cock and was jerking off."

"Don't look at me," said Dave. "I wish I was there, but I wasn't."

"Many of the people on the ground thought it was a rigged Nude Day demonstration. Finally, one guy, a telephone repairman, had access to a bucket truck, but we were up there for a solid twenty minutes before he could fetch his truck and get us down. And he was certainly free with his hands, too, helping us in the bucket. I've never been groped like that. I took a shower as soon as I got home. I felt so violated." She looked to her ex-husband. "If we are done here, I'd like to have the pictures you took, please."

"Here they are," said Stan handing her an envelope.

"Do you think me stupid? Give me the memory card from the camera, too."

He opened the camera and pulled the memory card.

"Hell no," she said. "Let me see the images on the camera first to make sure that's the same memory card."

"Damn, Kathy, you thought of everything. Didn't you?"

"Just like I did in the divorce settlement," she said leaving in a huff with her mother.

"Let's have a round of applause for the good sports that my ex-wife and ex-mother are. Bye," he said waving after her.

Everyone clapped and cheered.

"Well, that certainly was a hot story, Stan," said Dave. "It's too bad you didn't have pictures, though."

"Copies," he said pulling out another envelope and holding it up over his head. "Pass them around."

"Damn, look at these," said Hal. "They are totally naked, asses, tits, nipples, and pussies. Great job, Stan."

"PMS! PMS! PMS!" 

Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time.

If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter.

To be continued... 



Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 05



"Well, so far we've had four contest entries for the National Nude Day contest. Our first entry was from Nick and his lovely butch dyke wife with an anal story where she changes things around and fucks him up that ass instead of having him fuck her up the ass. Well done, Nick."

"Thank you, Stan. Forgive me if I don't get up and take a bow. I'm still a bit sore."

"In our second contest entry, we had Eddie tying his wife to the bedposts, forgetting she was tied naked and going to work, and leaving her there, as a community service for our police officers and firemen to experience the hidden charms of her in gangbang. Well done Eddie, well done."

"Well, it certainly wasn't my intention to leave my wife tied naked, but it did work out well, after all. Thank you, Stan, and thank you everyone and my special thanks to those of you voting for my story.

"Duncan sent us his third contest entry in the exhibitionism and voyeur category was submitted to us in a letter that explained his arrest when he exposed himself to his new neighbors. We all wish you well, Duncan, with your trial and hope your jail stay is a short one."

"I heard from Duncan," said Hal. "They are trying to plea bargain down to a misdemeanor."

"Our fourth entry was from was from yours truly in the non-consensual and reluctance category when I was devilishly able to strip both my ex-wife and mother naked at the same time."

Everyone stood and cheer.

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"Thank you everyone. Thank you so much for your support. Believe me, it was my pleasure giving my ex-wife and her mother payback on this special of holidays."

"Good luck, Stan," said Sam. "I hope you win."

"Thank you, Sam. So, who's next? Who has a National Nude Day story they'd like to share with the group," Stan scanned the room of perverts looking for a raised hand.

The biggest meeting of the year, it was a full house for this meeting. Understandably, because of the theme of this monthly contest, it was a popular meeting. There were at least, a hundred and fifty perverted men in attendance. They were still passing around the photos of Stan's naked ex-wife and ex-mother and discussing his story and what they'd like to do to the naked bodies of the women hanging upside down on a bungee cord.

Stan stood on the stage looking out at the gathering of men that increased each month. There were a lot of perverts and this was just a small sampling of those men who weren't afraid of being known as a pervert. Certainly, he was glad that not everyone had a story to tell. Imagine if everyone had a story and there were one hundred and fifty stories to this Celebrating National Nude Day series? He'd be there all night. Generally, they never get more than a dozen who want to tell their story. The rest are content just to listen to the stories of others for fodder to use as jerk off material later while imagining the story as their own.

Every month, Hal participated with something outrageous. The video of his hypnotized mother masturbating was as hot as was the web cam of his daughter dancing naked while she thought she was dancing for her cyber boyfriend. She didn't know that it was her Daddy that she was dancing for nor did she ever suspect him to show the web cam feed to his perverted friends. Every month Hal won the first prize of $150, more than enough to cover his $100 dues for the year. Maybe, next year, they'll be more stories to tell, but for now, except for Hal's anticipated story, there was just one more.

"Who's that back there, in the back row with their hand raised? Is that you, Warren?"

Stan cringed and the rest of the group physically cringed and cowered when Warren stood. He was weird, very weird. If Stephen King was to write this Perverted Men's Symposium's meeting in one of his novels, Warren would be the main character. He'd be the type who'd live deep in the back woods of Maine. He'd be the one who kept secrets. He'd be the one who had someone locked away in his cellar.

Warren stood up from his seat and strode down the aisle. He was as tall as he was thin, maybe 6'5" and looking like he weighed about 160 pounds, if that. Probably, he was taller, 6'7" maybe, if he stood straight instead of stooping the way he did. He had a body like a crane with long arms and legs and with a giant Adam's apple protruding from his neck. His hair was cropped short all around, as if he had put a bowl on his head, taken sheep shears, and done it himself.

Everyone but Stan called him Weird Warren because, well, he was weird, scary weird. He was always giving you that look. If you are a woman, surely you know the one, that look that makes you look away hoping he doesn't notice you, while running away and ducking around the corner to call 911.

"I don't have you on the list, Warren," said Stan shuffling through papers hoping to dissuade him from continuing his advance down the long aisle and up the stage. Yet, once Warren put his mind to something or someone, there was no stopping him. "Do you have a story to tell or did you just want to make your usual announcement about futuristic worlds like you do at every monthly contest?"

Warren climbed the steps to the stage where the podium stood with the microphone without responding. Normally, he was a man of few words and most times not talking at all, even when spoken to, that is, unless he was talking about his futuristic world somewhere in outer space. Then, he became animated. 

"I have a story to tell," he said pointing a bony finger at Stan, while giving him the look.

He turned away from Stan to look out at the crowd of men and stood there without speaking. As if looking for someone or something, it was a long and uncomfortable moment waiting for him to begin his story.

He always wore the same clothes, the same too big, black suit jacket with the same black pants that was a lighter shade of black from the jacket and didn't come much further down than the top of his ankles and not nearly long enough to cover his scuffed, Jed Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies boots that he wore even on the hottest days of summer. Looking much like a settler from an old settlement in the days of Conestoga wagons, pioneers, and Indians, he always wore that all black outfit with his collarless white shirt. Although his clothes were clean, from the tattered look of them, you'd discern that they had been rewashed more than the manufacturer's recommendation and had lasted beyond anyone's expectation. 

"I was taken again," he said in his deep voice and looking out at each and every member before continuing. He did weird stuff like that, such as staring a lot without talking. "They came back for me, again," he said finally.

"Warren, have you been reading Kurt Vonnegut again?" The group of men laughed over Hal's comment.

"He's got a paperback book on the chair back here," called Ray from the back of the room while raising it up overhead. "Yep, it's Slaughterhouse Five, alright."

Now, the entire room was roaring with laughter and howling at him.

"They really exist, you know," he said raising his voice while pointing a long, bony finger of warning to the men. He had a way of commanding the attention of his audience with his stare. "Okay, maybe they aren't the same Tralfamadorian aliens that appear in Vonnegut's book, but there's definitely energy from another world and that's what took me. Energy."

"What did his energy look like," said Sam.

"They probably look like him," said Dave. "Now, that's scary."

"Dunno. I never saw them. There's nothing to see. They don't have faces like you and me. It's just a feeling and like that little blonde girl watching the television screen in Poltergeist when she declares, 'They're back,' that's the sort of feeling you get. It's just a knowing and a sense of someone watching you. Your hair stands up on your arm and suddenly, you are afraid and looking all around you. It's an unsettling feeling."

"Is it like the same foreboding feeling we all get when we just knew you'd be up here again warning us about them," asked Hal?

"It don't bother me none if you don't believe me. It don't bother me none if you don't like me. That's not going to stop me from telling my story. I have to tell someone." He paused for a long, thoughtful moment. "If I don't tell someone, I'll die with what I know and I don't want that on my conscience while on my deathbed."

"Damn, after Kathy and Christine's act, I was having fun," said Dave. "Weird Warren just hosed down the event. I was having a good time before he lumbered up here."

"As this is a contest, Warren, be mindful of the rules," said Stan hoping that Warren would now take his seat after realizing that his story didn't conform to any of the National Nude day contest rules. You must be naked, this must be sexual, and this must be a new experience. And as we have all heard this story over and again, we all know that this is the same experience that you—"

"I know your rules," he said turning his attention to Stan and staring through him, as if there was something there behind him. His prolonged focused look made Stan turn to look behind him. Warren did that to people, unsettled them with his silent stare without looking away, until they blinked or flinched or looked away or looked behind them, as Stan just did. "You spout the rules off every time before someone delivers their story. I can tell you that this was a new experience for me, different than all the others. Definitely, it was a sexual experience, as they made me ejaculate. And I was naked."

The whole room gasped at once and it was Dave who voiced what everyone thought.

"Now, there's an image that will certainly give me nightmares tonight, thinking about Warren naked." 

"Yeah, but, Warren, this is a Nude Day Celebration and what does your experience have to do that?"

"They were here last year on Nude Day and appeared again this year on Nude Day. They didn't tell me, they don't talk to me, but I know they'll be returning next year on Nude Day. I imagine it takes them that long to get here, a year of light years away. And it's not the same ones who return, but different ones, whatever they are. When one leaves, another follows."

"Okay, this guy is creeping me out," said Nick. "Isn't it time for you to tell your story, Hal? I need something really sexually perverted to get me over this."

"Not yet," said Hal. "Suddenly, I'm intrigued. I want to hear what he has to say."

"He says the say shit every month about being taken," said Eddie.

"Yeah, but today is different. Today, I believe him."

"There's something about that day that interests them," he said stopping to stare before continuing. "Maybe, it's something about naked people that attracts them or excites them. I dunno. Maybe, they want to reproduce with us. I dunno. Maybe, they don't have a physical body and hope by using us they can have babies and eventually our bodies. I dunno. I've been trying to think the whys of all this, which is why I'm telling you my story. Maybe, you have some answers to my questions. And I've been trying to think, why me?"

"Why not you, is the question," said Hal. "They take you because you're weird and they think that you represent the rest of us. Little do they know that you don't," he said getting everyone laughing again.

"You all can poke fun at me all you want, but it's true. They zapped me, no that's too strong of a word because there's no pain. They put me to sleep somehow is all. Yeah, I felt like I was sleeping. It all felt like a dream, but it was real. Then, they had sex with me."

"Maybe, you were sleeping," said Dave. "Maybe, you were dreaming."

"Nope. I wasn't dreamin'."

"What do you mean, nope? How can you be so sure?"

"Because, Hal, I have proof. I brought it back with me this time. Actually, I didn't bring it; they forgot to take it and left it. I don't even know what the Hell it is, but it's scary."

"What is it," asked Dave?"

"Where is it," asked Nick?"

"Like I just said, I dunno what the Hell it is, but it's scary. I have it here in my pocket if you dare to see it, but you can't take it. You can't have it. I have to hold it. It only works for me. It's as if it's my personal window to their secret world."

When Warren reached in his pocket and pulled out what looked like a silver dollar only bigger, much bigger, the size of a small saucer and shinier everyone converged closer to the stage. They all wanted to see what it was that he held in his hand. It was so shiny bright that it hurt their eyes to look at it for too long. He held it up as if he was holding a searchlight over his head to search his backyard for raccoon, possum or other varmints. No one could explain where the light emanated from, as the room was not that brightly lit. 

Warren slowly moved it from left to right and back again and again. Suddenly, the room lit up with a shimmering silver disc of light. As he moved the disc, as if the light was suspended in the air and unable to catch up with the silver disc, the light left behind brightened the whole room.

"Damn, this thing would make the Energizer Bunny quit banging his little drum and retire," said Dave.

Whenever Warren turned it, whenever he shone its brilliant light across the room, the silver disc emitted a metallic, musical hum, much like that of a tuning fork.

"Dah, de, de, do, dum," sang Dave singing the musical notes from Spielberg's movie, E. T.

"Let me see it," said Stan stepping closer.

"I already told you that I have to hold it for you. It only works when I hold it, whatever it is. I still don't know, but I have a suspicion."

"What's your suspicion," said Hal.

"It's a hole."

"A hole? What do you mean, it's a hole, Warren," asked Stan gingerly stepping closer to the disc.

"You know those black holes they have in outer space?"

"Yeah."

"Well, this is a silver hole, a portable hole."

"You're crazy, Warren," said Hal. "Black holes are vast expanses that eat the universe, stars, suns, and planets. Weird Warren, every month you sit in the back of the room waiting for the end to tell us that you've been transported by spaceship to some planet by some Alien."

"I never said they were aliens. I never said they had a ship. And I never said nothing about being transported to a planet. I said they took me to their world, is all I ever said. There's no aliens, just energy, faster than speed of light energy that engulfs you like Heaven's brilliant light. I'm here one second and then gone the next and returned, as if I never left. It's the strangest feeling to travel so fast through space and time that time not only stops but also goes backwards and you return before you even left.

"Nonsense," said Stan.

"You're crazy," said Dave.

"I'll show you said Warren."

Warren lowered the disc and the light slowly dissipated returning itself back to the disc, as if recharging it.

"I think they use this to take me there and bring me back, but I don't know how it works," he said holding it between his thumb and index finger while examining it.

"Wow, did you see that?"

"I saw a flash of something, Dave," said Sam.

"What did you see?"

"When warren turned the coin or disc or whatever that is, I saw a naked woman, Dave," said Sam.

"No way," said Hal.

"Do it again, Warren," said Dave. "Turn it towards me. Fuck me!"

"What Dave? What did you see?"

"I saw Warren standing naked in a garden while having sex with a beautiful woman. He turned and stared at me before mouthing the words, 'Happy Nude Day.' Now, I'll definitely have nightmares."

"Give me a look," said Stan.

"Wow!"

"What? What did you see?"

"Suddenly, I was in a room with naked virgins," said Stan all starry eyed.

"How'd you know they were virgins," asked Sam?

"I don't know, I just knew."

"I think I know what's happening," said Hal.

"What?"

"You see whatever is in your mind. You see your own thoughts. I'll prove it to you. Let me have a look, Warren."

Warren held up the coin to Hal's eyes.

"Yep, I was right. It's just as I figured."

"What? What did you see, Hal?"

"Because it's on my mind, what I saw was my next story," said Hal.

"No way," said Stan.

"So, it's not a hole, but more of a looking glass or looking coin or looking disc," said Dave.

"It's a hole to the future world and I'll prove it to you," said Warren holding the disc over his head.

In a brilliant flash that sent radiant light throughout the room, he was gone and so wasn't the shiny silver disc.

"Who's next? Who has a National Nude Day story they'd like to share with the group," Stan scanned the room of perverts looking for a raised hand. "Who's that back there, in the back row with their hand raised? Is that you, Warren?"

*

Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time.

If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter.

To be continued... 



Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 06



"Okay, who's next? Who celebrated National Nude Day with this contest in mind? Who wants to share their story with the group? Is there anyone else with a story before we close the competition and take a vote for the winner?" Everyone looked around to see who else had a story and who else had their hand raised. "Also, let's not forget the rules. You must be naked. It must be sexual. And it must be something you haven't done before."

From the back of the room a very attractive, blonde wearing high heels and a short, red leather mini-skirt made her way down the long aisle encouraged by whistles, comments, and catcalls. Taking her time, as if walking a runway, she had a nice wiggle to her walk. About 5'9" in her heels, she had an abundant rack, shapely legs with tone calves, and a round, bubble ass.

"Are you here to see someone, Miss," asked Stan? "Are you lost?"

He didn't want her to walk all that way just to tell her that that there weren't women allowed in the club. He didn't want to embarrass her. Then, he realized that maybe she had followed his ex-wife and ex-mother in the hall and had remained in the back of the large room without anyone noticing her. Maybe, she was there to spy on them. Fuck, now she knows that he made duplicate photos of his ex-wife and ex-mother-in-law suspended naked and upside down in a bungee jump for everyone's delight. He wondered about the ramifications of that blunder. Somehow it would cost him attorney fees and more alimony for her mental health therapy.

Yet, the closer she walked, the more he wanted her to continue her forward progression. She looked like someone he had known so long ago, and had she not taken out that restraining order against him, they still might be together today.

Mesmerized by her walk, coming towards him in sections, hips and tits, hips and tits, and hips and tits, his cock stirred reacting to her slow and seductive approach. Suddenly, a bossa nova played through his mind with the soft sway of her hips and gentle bounce of her tits. He started humming the song The Girl From Ipanema. 

'Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking, and when she passes, each one she passes goes -- ah. When she walks, she's like a samba that swings so cool and sways so gentle that when she passes, each one she passes goes -- ooh.'

The closer she neared, the more he realized how truly gorgeous she was. If there was such a thing as love at first sight, he was in love. Never has he been so struck with love and lust so quickly and so deeply.

When she finally made her way to the stage and climbed the stairs, he pulled her aside. She made him forget his ex-wife. She made him forget his girlfriend, what's her name. She made him forget that cute girl in the coffee shop who gives him his coffee for free with a friendly smile and a flash of her abundant cleavage. She even made him forget Veronica, his deflated blowup doll hidden away in the top shelf of the bedroom closet for times of emergency when he argues with his girlfriend and she goes home to her mother for the weekend.

"Listen, I'm sorry and please forgive me for embarrassing or offending you, but this is a private men's club. Women are not allowed here," he said standing strong with crumbling resistance against her beguiling beauty.

Unfortunately, he weakened with the touch of her soft arm. He took the opportunity just to get near her. Her perfume was intoxicating. She made him swoon. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to nuzzle her. He wanted to lick her. Caught up in a fantasy of her naked in his arms, he imagined holding her blonde covered head in between his hands, as she sucked his cock. Only, her voice burst his bubble of the fantasy of her body in bed with him.

"I'd like to give my story."

It was the voice of an Angel. She had a sexy voice with a Southern drawl. She sounded like she was from Georgia or Alabama. He imagined her winning a local beauty contest before winning Miss Georgia Peach or Miss Alabama Smoked Dry Rubbed Pork Ribs. He loved Southern women, so innocent, so naïve, and so filled with passion. Pulling himself away from her Southern charm, he took all of her in with a look of lustful desire and lewd fantasy.

"Your story? I'd love to hear your story, Honey. I'd love to hear everything you have to say," he said whispering in her ear. "Maybe I can meet you later. There's a private place not far from here and you can tell me your story over a drink, a mint Julep, but I'm sorry, Miss," said Stan catching himself before completely falling for her and handing her first prize without even hearing her story. "You can't enter our contest."

"Why," she asked with eyes that any man would give his soul to have them forever looking at him with love and lust.

He became more vocal in his resolve to fight the temptation of her. Determined to maintain his professional image, as the President of the club, confident in his pride of duty as the contest master, he avoided making contact with her big, blue eyes that made him want to get down on one knee and promise her his soul, if only for one kiss. 

"Only, members of our private club can compete in our monthly contests and in this National Nude Day contest," he said weakening but finding the fortitude to resist her charms and stay strong against her erotic way over him. "This is the Perverted Men's Symposium, a private club just for men."

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"I'm a member," she replied giving him a seductive look and a sexy smile.

My God, how can someone be given this much beauty and poise. He just wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. He yearned to lustfully explore every inch of her sexy body. He wanted to take her home and ravish her and spend the rest of his life with her in bed. He imagined what their children would look like. He imagined weekend barbeques with her and their three children. He wondered if she had a sister and if her mother looked like her. He imagined them having a foursome, her, her sister, and her mother having a wild weekend in Bangkok or at the shore in New Jersey. Imagining her naked and in the throws of orgasmic passion, he wanted to make her his. Back to reality, he controlled his active imagination.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"I'm a proud member of the Perverted Men's Symposium."

"Well, if you signed up online," he said controlling the urge to kiss her, "and we accepted your application without us knowing that you are female or that if you didn't realize in our literature that this is a private men's club, I'd be happy to refund your registration dues."

"There's no need, Stan," she said shoving back his shoulder while talking in his regular voice.

"Mike?" His voice was jolting. In a flash, gone were the three children, the barbeque, and sex with his sister and mother in a foursome. In a flash, he saw Mike waving from his Roto-Rooter truck, as he left for work. As if waking up from a dream, he couldn't believe it. "Is that really you?"

"Well, yeah," he said laughing. "Who did you think it was?" He stared at his best friend. "You didn't recognize me, did you? You're such a twisted, sick fuck, Stan."

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"Didn't recognize you? Fuck no! I mean, Hell, yeah. Ha! Ha! Of course, I recognized you. The joke is on you. What do you think I'm dumb or gay? I was just playing along with you. Ha! Ha!"

"You had me worried there for a minute, big guy," said Mike looking up at his friend.

He was crushed and he leaned forward to smell his perfume again and to get the last glimmer of his sexual fantasy of her being his. He wanted to cry. Uplifted one second and thrown in a deep ditch the next, his Southern Angel had a cock and balls. 

"God, you look so good," he said aloud without realizing. "Actually, I was about to ask you out."

"Sorry, Stan, but I don't do Dudes," said Mike with a nervous laugh.

"Did I just say that out loud? I can't believe I said that," said Stan stepping back and looking at his friend Mike. "I'm sorry, but you look unbelievable. You look simply gorgeous. You look so friggin' hot that I just want to take you away somewhere tropical."

"How about a ballgame Saturday, the Soxs are playing the Yankees," asked Mike?

He stepped forward and felt his boobs.

"Hey," said Mike slapping his grabby hands away and taking a step back. "Fresh," he said in his best feminine voice dripping with Southern drawl. "You'd have to buy me dinner before feeling my tits, big boy," said Mike with a coy look and a feigned laugh.

"What is that in there?"

"Falsies," he said with a chuckle. "You never felt falsies before?" 

"They feel like real tits," he said reaching out his hand to cup them, again. "I can't get enough of your, I mean, them. They even have nipples." He looked in those big, blue eyes again, leaned in closer and whispered his desire for her, I mean, him. "Are you hot for me or is it cold in here."

"Those are just my built-in nipple impressions," said Mike in his regular voice and taking another step away from him.

"Fucking unbelievable," said Dave. "You'd never get me to dress up as a broad."

"I always suspected Mike was a flame," said Eddie. "He must have his cock stuffed back between his legs and up his ass."

"Look, he even shaved his legs," said Nick. "That's so gay."

"I'm sorry, but even to win this prestigious contest, I'd never go as far as dressing like a broad," said Sam. "Will you look at that? He even plucked his eyebrows, shaved his forearms, hands, and fingers."

"That's crazy," said Dave. "He did all that just to win a $150 contest? He must have spent more than that for those clothes, falsies, and wig."

"Yeah, well," said Eddie, "maybe he didn't have to buy anything. Maybe, he had them all along. Maybe, he's using this contest as a ruse to step out of the closet, if you know what I mean."

"Wow! I told you he was gay," said Dave.

"Mike's not gay," said Sam. "Moreover, most cross dressers aren't gay, either. They just enjoy dressing as a woman and wearing sexy things. They like wearing women's clothes. They like how the material feels against their skin, is all. They like to look pretty and they—." 

"Gees, Sam, you know a bit too much about cross dressing men."

"I have a friend," said Sam defensively, "who cross dresses. They're not hurting anyone. There's much worse things you can do than to cross dress, such as the things that Weird Warren has been accused of doing with those two Japanese tourists who were never found."

They all turned around and looked at Weird Warren sitting in back reading his Kurt Vonnegut paperback book.

"They may have been taken, too," said Weird Warren without looking up from his book.

"You guys need to be more understanding and tolerate of others," said Sam. "Men who cross dress are tortured and sometimes sad. They put everything at risk, their jobs, their families, and their friends, just to enjoy their fetish of wearing women's clothes."

"Still, you'd never see me wearing a dress," said Dave.

"They are always misunderstood by the typical lack of knowledge of guys much like you and encouraged by the ignorance you are espousing now," said Sam. "You guys don't appreciate what is behind their statement to cross dress. You don't have an ounce of sensitivity and sexuality that these cross dressing men possess."

"Just out of curiosity, Sam, but is your friend's name, Sam," said Eddie.

"Very funny," said Sam. "They'd have to torture me to get dressed up as a broad. Cross dressing is not my thing, but I'm not going to pass judgment on someone else's sexual peccadilloes. We all have our fetishes to bear. What you find arousing may not appeal to me, just as what you find sick, I may find arousing. And that's what this Perverted Men's Club is all about, a place where we can explore and expose our fetishes without fear of public humiliation and/or arrest."

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"Even so," said Nick. "I'd never dress up as a broad."

"Ditto," said Dave. "I'll never shave my legs for anyone. Although, I wonder if he had a bikini wax done. That might be something I'd try depending on who was giving me the waxing."

"You'll never see me wearing a mini-skirt and high heels," said Eddie. "Look, he's even wearing lipstick. Is he hoping to be kissed? Gross."

"Okay, Mike, I can imagine how your story as a cross dresser could be a first time experience, as well as I can see this as a sexual perversion," said Stan. "Yet, I can't imagine how you could be naked, as per the rules of the Nude Day contest without blowing your cover," said Stan suddenly, imagining him naked and in bed with him while he wore his wig, makeup, sexy lingerie, and spoke softly to him in that Southern drawl.

"Yeah, there's no way he can enter the contest," said Dave.

"I agree," said Stan, because as soon as you remove the women's clothing, you'd no longer be a cross dresser but a man wearing makeup and a wig. Applying the rules to your story, this must be a first time experience, it must be sexual, and you must be naked. I'm sorry Mike, but I can't allow your contest entry."

"Well, on the chance of ruining the ending to my story, you have no idea what a sexual magnet crossing dressing is for some women."

"No way," said Dave leaning forward in his seat. "Wait, Stan. Let him speak."

"Trust me, Dave, some women are grossed out, others are turned off by it, but then there is that small group of women, once you find them and trust me, you don't have to look very far because they'll find you, who will practically rape you. They are insatiable in their sexual desire for you, as a cross dresser."

"I can't believe it," said Eddie. "I always wanted to be raped by a woman. It's a fantasy of mine for her to do whatever is her pleasure to my naked body."

"You can borrow my butch Dyke wife, Ed. She'd rape you with her dildo like she did me."

"No, that's okay, Nick. She beat the shit out of me the last time. Once is enough for me."

"Come on, Guys, let Mike tell his story."

"Cross dressing is a real turn on for some select few women. Never have I had as much uninhibited and passionate sex. Never have I had such hot sex when dressed as a woman while making love to a woman. They don't want me to remove my wig, makeup, bra, and/or panties."

"That's unbelievable," said Hal. "I wonder why that is?"

"I have a theory," said Mike. "Now, it's just my opinion mind you based upon my limited experience, albeit short experience, as a cross dresser, but I suspect that the women who are attracted to cross dressing men, and they are all very hot and beautiful woman, are closet lesbians. I don't know, but I think the same thing may hold true for transsexuals as well."

"No way," said Sam.

"It's true. I'm suggesting that there are women who would never try lesbianism and would never make love with another woman for whatever reason. Yet, since, I'm a man dressed as a woman that is the turn on for them. Instead of seeing it as an act of lesbianism, they see it more as an act of role playing where they allow their erotic fantasy to carry their sexuality to a heightened level, which would explain why they are so wild in bed."

"Did he just say that these women who are hot for cross dressing men are wild in bed?"

"You have no idea, Eddie," said Mike. "So long as I have my makeup, perfume, wig, and lingerie still on, they are open for anything sexually...anything."

"Oh, my God," said Dave.

"Oh, my God," said Sam.

"Oh, my God, said Nick.

"Open for anything sexually," said Eddie. 

"That's an interesting theory," said Hal. "You may be onto something there."

"Did you hear that," asked Dave of Sam? "Hot and beautiful women give him uninhibited and passionate sex for cross dressing his ass."

"Yeah, I heard, Dave. I have an erection just thinking about hot beautiful women losing control over and raping my panty clad, bra covered body," said Eddie.

"Sorry, for staring," said Stan, "but you look exactly like a woman I once was in love with so long ago, Mary Beth Clark. I'm just shocked by how much you look like her."

"Well, thank you, Stan. I'll take that as a compliment," said Mike in his sexy Southern drawl again.

"Yes, please do. I imagine, though, it must have been tough for you," said Stan taking his hand and holding it up to his chest while stroking it. "Did anyone know or suspect that you weren't a woman?"

"Easily, I was able to fool every guy. Guys never looked beyond the outside package. They just see shapely legs, ass, tits, and a pretty face and they get an erection. I got into more clubs, given more free drinks, and had primo parking spaces out front, just by dressing up like this, so long as I showed the valet some leg with an up skirt panty flash." Mike looked down at Stan holding his hand. "Let go of my hand, Stan. You're freaking me out a little bit."

"Sorry," he said looking down at his legs. "You do have nice legs, I mean, for a guy. Actually, you have better legs than my girlfriend and certainly better legs than my ex-wife," said Stan reaching down and running his hand along the outside of Mike's thigh before reaching around and rubbing, feeling, and massaging his tight ass. "Are those padded panties?"

"Hey," said Mike. "You're way too free with your hands, Stan. Give a girl, I mean, me a break here. Besides, you're leaving paw prints on my red leather mini."

"Sorry, it's just that your ass feels, I mean, you know, real."

"It is real. It's my real ass, Stan. It's my ass beneath these padded panties." Mike looked at him. "Are you hitting on me, Stan?"

"No, of course not, why would you think that?"

"Because you have an erection," said Mike looking down at the front of his friends tented pants. "You're not gay are you?"

"No, of course not, I have a girlfriend. Gees, what do you think I'm a pervert or something?"

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"Well, that was a stupid comment of me to make," said Stan with a laugh. "It's just that I can't help but get the feeling that we met somewhere before," he said suddenly losing himself in Mike's big, blue eyes.

"Of course, we met before, Stan. Hello? I'm Mike, remember? I'm your best friend. We live next door to one another."

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, of course, I was just wondering though, were you ever in Bangkok?"

"No," said Mike with a chuckle.

"So, what made you dress as a woman," asked Hal?

"Some guys don't understand another guy dressing as a woman and I never did either," said Mike. "I thought, since it was National Nude Day and since this was a contest, what the Hell, I'd see what it was like to be a woman for a day. I figured I'd expand my sexual horizon by trying something new. Besides, cross dressing met all the contest criteria."

"You make for a very hot and sexy woman, by the way. I mean, I'd do you, if I didn't know you were a guy. If I didn't know you were Mike and if I was alone with you in a prison cell, I'd fuck your brains out."

"Thank you, Hal. You're kind of cute, too, in a manly sort of way, only, you really not my type, since you have a penis and hairy testicles."

"I hope you don't mind me saying that you make a much better looking woman than you do a man," said Stan.

"You're making me blush, now," said Mike in his sexiest of voices.

"Do you think that maybe you're a woman trapped in a man's body."

"No," said Mike in his regular voice, giving Stan a curious look, and taking another step back away from him.

"So, what's it like being a woman," asked Hal? 

"Not easy," said Mike lifting his skirt higher to spread his legs and putting an elbow up on the podium, as if he was bellying up to the bar for a beer. "When I put the pantyhose on, I realized two things."

"Which was," asked Hal?

"I bought the pantyhose in a size too small and I needed to shave my legs. Also, shopping for all these clothes was an adventure. I was either met with looks of curiosity, is he or isn't he, looks of disgust or women were handing me their cell phone numbers. Never in my life have I ever had so many women hitting on me. And all these women were drop dead gorgeous."




Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 06



"Well, the stage is yours, Mike or, I'm sorry, it seems ridiculous to call you Mike when you look so attractive, hot actually, dressed as a woman. What should I call you? Do you go by another name?"

"I do. You may call me Michelle."

"I love that name," said Stan. "Suddenly, the Beatles song rang through his mind and he was lost in another fancy with a cross dresser.

'Michelle, ma belle, these are words that go together well, my Michelle...I love you, I love you, I love you...'

"Stan! You okay? With that odd smile on your puss, you look like you're a million miles away," said Mike in his regular voice. 

"Sorry, I was just, uhm, okay, Michelle, you have the stage." Before he left the stage to Mike, I mean, Michelle, Stan took her, I mean him in his arms and laid a big, wet one on him while reaching down to feel his ass with one hand and his hand frantically felling his false tit with the other."

"Stan! Get a hold of yourself," said Mike giving him a shove back. "What the fuck? Have you lost your mind? You ruined my lipstick." Mike opened his purse, pulled out his compact, and fixed the mess that Stan made.

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"Sorry, Michelle, I mean, Mike," said Stan. He had a deranged look on his face, as if he was a man alone in the Alaskan wilderness without a woman until Avon, 'Ding, Dong,' came calling. "I really don't know what came over me. I, uhm, was suddenly, so hot for you. It's your perfume, you reminding me of my old lover, Mary Beth, my girlfriend hasn't been putting out as much lately, and I need a patch for my blowup, uhm, never mind."

"It's okay. This is what I mean," said Mike looking out to address the group of men. "This happened to me over and again with women touching me, kissing me, feeling me, groping me, and inviting me home. I can't tell you how many dates that I made and how much sex I had. I didn't even have to spend a dollar on any of these women. They'd just take me home and fuck the shit out of me and then they'd give me a blowjob of my life, a blowjob better than any blowjob I have ever experienced."

"Dave? Eddie? Nick? Sam? Where are you guys all going?"

Stan watched Dave, Eddie, Nick, and Sam hurry out of the National Nude Day meeting.

"I'm sorry, Mike, I mean, Michelle. Some guys aren't as liberal in their perversions as are the rest of us. Apparently, the four of them just aren't into cross dressing. I apologize for their rude behavior. I apologize for their ignorance. Please continue with your story."

"PMS! PMS! PMS!"

"Anyway, as I was saying. Never have I had as much sex. These women were hot for me. The icebreaker for me was telling them that it was National Nude Day and that I was cross dressing as my contest entry. As soon as I said that, they started stripping. They wanted to be part of my story. They couldn't undress fast enough. They all said the same thing; that I should continue cross dressing. They all asked me for another date, asking me to cross dress for our next date. And they all gave me the best sex I ever had, especially once they pulled my erect cock out the side of my panty."

"I want you," mouthed Stan from across the stage to his friend. Mike took another step away from his depraved neighbor while keeping an eye on him and another on the audience.

"The combination of satin panties with a cock sticking out the side turned them into sexual animals. They were wild for me. Imagine for a moment having sex with Venus and Serena Williams. Do you have the image of these giant Nubian Princesses with bodies so physically fit that can fuck forever? Imagine their big, round ebony asses and firm, shapely chocolate thighs that can crush your head like a walnut while you are in Heaven licking their coffee and strawberry tart after sucking their almond nipples? That's what it's like to have sex with a hot blonde from Darien, Connecticut or a redhead from Hampton, New York or a Jewish Princess from Palm Beach, Florida or a forgotten actress from Beverly Hills, California. For some reason, the rich bitches have the hots for cross dressing men."

Four women entered the rear side door and took a seat in the back row by Weird Warren. Warren looked at them, got up from his seat, and moved to the other side of the auditorium.

"Ladies," said Stan figuring that it was the four women from Darien, Connecticut, Hampton, New York, Palm Beach, Florida, and Beverly Hills, California. "I'm sorry, but this is a private men's club."

When they stood, Stan thought they were leaving, but they all walked down to the front and sat in the vacated seats of Dave, Sam, Nick, and Eddie.

As soon as they neared, Stan recognized them immediately. Stunned, Stan looked from one to the other.

"Dave? Sam? Nick? Eddie?" 

"How'd you know it was us?"

"You mean besides your mustache, Dave, and Eddie's beard or the fact that the four of you make the ugliest women I have ever seen in my life," said Stan. "Where'd you get the clothes?"

"From the storage room and from when we had that all male revue last year to make money for charity," said Dave.

"Which begs the question, why are you dressed as women," asked Stan?

"Well, after listening to Mike, I mean, Michelle's luck with the women, we thought we'd give it try, especially after hearing his story from the storage room about the rich bitches," said Eddie.

"Actually," said Nick, "after experiencing my butch dyke wife, I'm ready to have sex with Venus and Serena Williams. That's really what did it for me." 

*

Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time.

If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter.

To be continued...



Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 07



"Well, I must say, Mike, your entry is going to be a difficult one to beat. Unfortunately, as it states in the PMS official rule book, those who have entered the contest are ineligible to cast their vote for their story or for anyone else's story. Otherwise, I think that I'd be voting for your story rather than my own," said Stan with a chuckle. "Also, as with all of our contests, we do not accept anonymous votes. All votes must be signed by a registered PMS member and only one vote per member is allowed. Votes that are unidentified are ineligible and are not counted in the competition."

"Thank you," said Mike leaving the stage. 

"Let's give Mike, I mean, Michelle, a big round of applause," said Stan starting the clapping as Michelle wiggled her cross dressing ass off the stage. The group voiced their appreciation of Mike's effort with cheers, whistles, and clapping.

"Thank you one and all," said Mike taking his seat with the rest of the perverts.

"Okay, who's next? Who celebrated National Nude Day and wants to share their story with the group? Also, let's not forget the rules. You must be naked. It must be sexual. And it must be something you haven't done before. With the rules in mind, who's next to regale us with their National Nude Day celebratory activities."

"I'll go," said Hal standing and making his way to the stage and up the stairs

"Here it comes. This ought to be good," said Dave rubbing his hands and giving Sam an elbow to the ribs. "I'm been waiting for this since they announced the National Nude Day contest last month." Dave leaned to the left to see the stage. "Hey, Eddie, change seats with me. I can't see over Weird Warren's big head. The freakin' guy is like seven foot tall. You're taller. You can see over him; I can't."

"No, I like my seat. I just got comfortable."

"I can't wait to hear what Hal did this time," said Nick to Ed. "Considering the nudity of the contest theme, it ought to be a real winner."

"Something really sick, perverted, and twisted, but hot, no doubt," said Ed to Nick. "I betcha it has something to do with his mother, his sister or his sisters. He has three of them, you know. It'd be weird if it was a story of incestuous group sex."

"Yeah, maybe, he did a story in the incest category and had sex with his mother and sisters-in-law. That would be so hot," said Nick. "Wow! I can't wait to hear what he did."

"Okay, Hal, come on up here," said Stan making room for him on the podium and looking through his papers before handing him the microphone. "Hmm, this must be some sort of mistake or a typographical error," he said looking at Hal. "I have here that you celebrated National Nude Day by doing something romantic. How ridiculous is that," he said laughing.

As soon as Stan laughed, everyone started laughing.

"Hal, romantic, can you imagine," said Sam. "Ha! Ha!"

"Romantic? Ha! Ha! Nah, you must have the papers confused with Glen's entry of last year. Do you remember him, the guy with thick glasses, acne, and who stuttered? He used National Nude Day to propose marriage butt naked to his girlfriend, only, it wasn't his girlfriend. It was just some girl he stalked at the mall and that he imagined was his girlfriend. Whatever happened to him, I wonder," said Dave.

"He was arrested and charged with indecent exposure, ordered to stay away from his victim, and found a permanent place on the National Sex Offender's Registry. We laughed him off the stage," said Eddie. "Ha! Ha!"

"Well, can you blame us," said Nick. "Whoever heard of a romantic pervert? C'mon, really, that's oxymoronic. Ha! Ha!"

"Of all people," said Dave. "Hal is anything but romantic."

"He's the epitome of insensitivity and sexually inappropriate behavior," said Sam. "There's not a romantic bone in his body. Ha! Ha!"

"For the record, I'd like to start by saying that this is not a mistake or a joke," said Hal with a look of unbecoming seriousness. "My contest entry is, indeed, a romantic one and I'm not sorry to say that, even after seeing the disappointment on all your faces. Moreover, it is not a romantic story with any of my blood relatives nor is it an incestuous story. Instead, it is a romantic love story with my wife of 15 years."

"Is he serious? He is serious," said Eddie. "Love? Give me lust to love any day."

"You see, Donna and I were married on National Nude Day on the grounds of a commune in Vermont and I used this holiday to celebrate and to pay tribute to our wedding anniversary. Unlike now, back then, we were honest and open. We harbored no secrets from one another, as we represented by taking our vows naked. We didn't want clothing to hide our bodies from one another and from our invited guests."

"What the fuck," said Dave. "I can't believe he's doing a romantic story. Are you kidding me? What the Hell is perverted about romance? Romance to a pervert is like garlic to Dracula." Talking with his hands, as he is in the habit of doing, Dave turned in his seat to address the other proud perverts sitting behind him. "Doing a romantic National Nude Day story is like playing hockey without a fight," he said shadow boxing. "It's like pitching to a hitter without pitching inside," he said swinging an imaginary bat. "It's like being a male Olympic swimmer, ice skater, and/or gymnast and not being gay," he said copying their moves with his arms. "It's un-American, I tell you. It's just not right."

"Think of a rooftop deck under a star filled night with a full moon smiling down on us as we dined naked. It was a beautiful evening. It was perfectly romantic and she swooned being naked in my arms. I could not have asked for a better evening. We stood there holding one another and not talking, but enjoying the view, looking up at the stars, and remembering the way we were when we were young and innocent. We even made a wish when we saw a shooting star. Twinkle, twinkle little star..."

"Yeah, there was a full moon last night," said Nick. "I was out there with my binoculars looking in people's windows. If I knew Hal's wife was going to be naked on her rooftop, I would have focused my binoculars in their direction. Anyway, I saw this one broad with big tits undressing and when—"

"Shh," knock it off, Nick," said Stan.

"We had white wine with Cesar salad, shrimp cocktail, crab cakes, and lobster over a bed of fluffy, white rice," said Hal painting a romantic picture for the members to appreciate. "In between kisses, we fed one another pieces of lobster, as we sipped our wine with arms interlocking," he said with a laugh. "We did more kissing than we did eating. It's been some time since we kissed one another like that. The ambiance of the evening and romantic mood was intoxicating."

"Speaking of intoxication, it was a nice night for a barbeque. If it was me on the rooftop, I'd have double shots of Jack with sirloin burgers smothered in mushrooms and onions," said Dave. "There's nothing like a big, fat juicy burger accompanied by plenty of Jack to put me in the mood for romance," he said moving his hand back in forth in front of his mouth, as if he was getting a blowjob.

"We danced cheek to cheek to Sinatra's Strangers in the Night, Manilow's Mandy, and Mathis's Chances Are playing softly over the stereo. It was so romantic dancing naked with her like that. My cock was so hard and she was already wet for me. We touched one another everywhere, as we slowly danced. I felt like I was dancing with her at our wedding, only back then we danced without touching one another, that is, not until we were alone in our honeymoon suite."

"If I was up on that rooftop with my wife, I would have turned the volume all the way up playing Queen, AC/DC, and Metalica, while I humped, slammed, and slapped my wife's naked ass cheeks," said Sam. "There's nothing more romantic than anal in the moonlight."

"We kissed, cuddled, fondled, and held one another before we moved to the blanket and made sweet, slow love. It was amazing," said Hal. "She had an orgasm with me inside of her and then we had one together. It felt like our wedding night all over again, only better. I couldn't have asked for the repeat of a better honeymoon."

"Before I was married to my butch, lesbian dyke of a wife, I was alone once on a rooftop with my then girlfriend. I fucked her and then she blew me. She swallowed. I don't think we kissed once. I'm not into snowballing," said Nick. "That was kind of romantic, I guess." 

"Only, this story is more a story of penance than it is of romance," said Hal. "It all started when my wife openly confronted me about my perversions. She asked me how I could love her if I continually looked at other semi-naked and naked woman. Her question made me think."

"His question makes me think what his wife looks like naked," said Dave.

"His wife is hot," said Eddie. "I'd do her."

"You'd do a bagel," said Nick.

"It depends on the kind of bagel. I wouldn't do the garlic bagel," said Eddie. "They make my cock smell like garlic and I wouldn't do the sesame seed ones. The sesame seeds get caught in my pee hole. It's quite painful. It's like passing a stone in reverse."

"That's waaaaay too much information, Eddie," said Dave.

"Did I love my wife? Am I happy being married to her? I answered both questions in the affirmative and then asked myself her unasked, but implied question," said Hal. "Then, why do I feel the need to look at pornography? That, my fellow perverted ones, was a more difficult question for me to answer and my honest answer was, indeed, telling."

"It's because with that advent of the Internet, we can relax in the comfort of our homes while jerking off to on screen images," said Dave. "With super fast computers, we have access to X-rated videos that we would have had to sit in a dirty cinema, in the seedy part of town, with a bunch of other perverts to watch it, not that long ago."

"Yes, you are correct, Dave," said Hal. "From the time of Adam and Eve, temptation has always been there and now technology has made it easier for all of us to be closet pornographers. Yet, by my wife asking me innocently if I loved her, she made me realize that every minute I look away from her to look at and lust over another woman, I'm cheating. Suddenly, I was embarrassed, ashamed, and guilt ridden." He looked out at the members waiting for him to speak. "Because I love my wife, I couldn't cheat on her anymore, which is why I celebrated my 15th anniversary on National Nude Day while being naked with my wife, while only thinking of my wife, and while making love to her on our rooftop deck." 

"Cheating? No, way," said Eddie.

"You're nuts," said Sam. "I don't consider looking at naked women cheating. That's crazy, Hal."

"I never cheated on my wife," said Dave. "Yet, I wonder, is it cheating if I think of Hal's wife making love with my wife?"

"Looking and not touching is not considered cheating," said Stan. "And yes, by Hal's definition of cheating, thinking of Hal's wife making love to your wife is, indeed, cheating. I have an erection, though, just thinking about that."

"Yes, I know there are many of you who don't feel that pornography is cheating, but, indeed, it is," said Hal. "Yet, if I wasn't cheating on my wife by viewing naked women on the Internet, then, why do I feel the need to sneak behind her back while viewing pornographic images? Even, though I've never had sex with another woman since I married my wife, Donna, I've not been a faithful husband to her. I've cheated on her by my impure thoughts and in the lust that I hold for other women."

"Why do I suddenly feel like I'm listening to Jimmy Swaggart confess his affair with a New Orleans prostitute, again? I have sinned against you my lord."

"I feel the same way, Sam, only, I think Hal turned into Jimmy Carter," said Dave.

"Jimmy Carter? Why him," asked Sam?

"Do you remember President Carter subjugating the citizenry by aligning himself with the moral majority after confessing to having looked at Playboy and then telling the world that he cheated on his wife Roslyn with his impure thoughts?"

"Gees, do you think that Jimmy Carter jerked off over Playboy," asked Sam?"

"Even though that's an image I'd rather not consider, it's safe to say that he choked his chicken," said Nick.

"There's your answer," said Dave pointing to an empty peanut bag.

"What do you mean," asked Sam?

"Look! He ate the entire bag," said Dave holding up an empty bag of Planter's peanuts. "That's what happened to President Carter. He was a peanut farmer and must have eaten one too many peanuts, groundnuts, legumes and it went right to his brain."

"If you are looking for romance, then read another story by a more romantic writer," continued Hal oblivious to the comments coming from the peanut gallery. "Yet, I assure you, what my story may lack in romance; it drips with sincerity, faithfulness, and devoted love for my wife. Moreover, romance is so much more erotic than sex. After a while how much can you say and write about sex that hasn't been said or written better before? Someone is having intercourse or getting or giving oral sex. It's all been said and done over and again."

"Oh, brother," said Eddie sticking his finger in the empty bag of peanuts, crumpling it, and tossing it on the floor. "I hate stories that begin by asking the moral question and then end by paying tribute to loving wives. She must have given him sex, a blowjob, last night for him to get all soft to go hearts and flowers on us. What a waste of a good Nude Day story. This sucks."

"Yet, a romantic story is a story that lasts throughout time," continued Hal. "Whenever writing or saying romantic thoughts, people find a quotation that was said or written to include in a card to their loved one. Their romantic sentiments are copied over and again. Never are sexual thoughts regarded in the same way. Lovers are more readily to write, 'You melt me with your look,' rather than 'I want to fuck you by the brook.'"

"This is not good," said Dave. "He must have had a blow to the head. Maybe he fell off his motorcycle on the way here. I can't believe he's reciting poetry, now."

"Well, some poems are good. Dirty and sexual limericks are excitingly humorous. Did you ever read the one about, there once was a man from Kent—"

"Not now, Eddie," said Dave. I want to hear Hal self-destruct."

"I decided to clean up my act after my wife found my secret stash of DVD's of her naked and masturbating, of our daughter naked and masturbating, of her mother naked and masturbating, of my sisters naked and masturbating, of her sisters naked and masturbating, of my grandmother naked and masturbating, of her grandmother naked and masturbating, of my sisterss naked and masturbating, of her sisters-in-laws naked and masturbating, of our babysitters masturbating their boyfriends, of our neighbors having sex, and of her Bible Study Club using our bathroom."

"If you're throwing out your master masturbation collection of DVD's, Hal, I can bring them to the dump for you," said Dave. "Really, it's no trouble at all. I'm going by there anyway, one day, sometime, in the distant future...eventually."

"Thanks Dave, but they're already gone."

"Damn it," said Dave. "I mean, I was looking forward to taking a drive to the dump."

"Does this mean what I think it means? Are you quitting the club?"

"Yeah, it does, Sam. This is my last story. My pervert days are over. I've already erased all the pornographic images from my computer."

"Oh, my God," said Stan. "You really are serious about taking the long and narrow road instead of the short and windy staircase with the cut out steps or the escalator up behind a woman with a short skirt."

"Yes, I am, Stan. It's time to find sanity in my life. If I put the time, effort, and money in something that is more constructive to my personal growth and not as destructive to my moral soul, I'd be happier. Besides, I want to get closer to my wife by looking at her in the way that I look at other women. I yearn to rediscover her sexuality in a romantic atmosphere and in the privacy of our bedroom behind a closed door, where it belongs, instead of in my office and on my computer screen. This National Nude Day has reawakened my love for my wife and is the beginning of the end of perversions and inappropriate sexual thoughts for me. I'm a new man."

"Happier? Did Hal just say that he'd be happier without pornography in his life?"

"He did, Sam," said Eddie. "I couldn't believe it myself."

"Well, I'm sure that I'm not alone in wishing you success in your new found lifestyle," said Stan shaking hands with him.

"He'll be back," said Dave. "Once you've surf pornography on the Internet, there's no turning away from it. It's like a thirsty man trying to go without water or a hungry man trying to do without food. A perverted man can never go without graphically explicit images for very long. I figure he'll last only as long as his brain gets an inappropriate thought and sends a rush of blood to his pecker."

"Peanuts to dollars he'll be back," said Nick.

"Peanuts to dollars he'll be back," said Sam.

"I don't know," said Eddie. "He looks pretty serious in his demeanor. And if I know something about Hal, once he puts his mind to something, he succeeds."

"Quiet down, guys," said Stan. "Hal still has the floor. Out of respect for his last story, let's give him our complete attention." Stan turned to Hal. "Okay, Hal, the microphone is yours, again."

"I'd like to finish by saying that I've had a long run of sexually twisted behavior in my life and it's not going to be easy to go without doing the sexual things that I have done over the years. Yet, the love that I have for my wife and the romance that I plan to reignite with her will recapture the spark we once had. Sure, I'll have my weak moments when my sexual thoughts will interrupt me trying to live my life without lascivious thoughts and lewd behavior. During those times, I will simply have to find other and better emotional outlets to replace those erotic thoughts, such as romance, affection, and appreciation for my wife."

"Yeah, maybe you should take up naked bungee jumping," said Stan. "My ex-wife and ex-mother highly, about 20 feet up, recommend it. Ha! Ha!"

Everyone laughed with Stan's comment.

"All it takes, Hal," said Dave. "Is the wind blowing up a skirt of a cute woman walking ahead of you to reveal her thong or bikini panty clad round ass. All it takes is a down blouse view of the bra and/or cleavage and/or nipple of a young, attractive mother stooping to give comfort to her child sitting in a stroller, as you happen to pass by her. All it takes is a spam notice of Paparazzi images of Jessica Alba or Angelina Jolie or the latest sex tape of Pamela Anderson or Paris Hilton to restore your perverted libido to where it was."

"I'm sure you're right, Dave, but I'm tired of living my life beneath the dark cloud of debauchery while dirty dancing with the devil."

"Dark cloud of debauchery while dirty dancing with the devil," said Eddie. "See, that's where he's wrong about quoting romantic thoughts versus sexual thoughts. I'd write, 'May you celebrate another year beneath the dark cloud of debauchery while dirty dancing with the devil,' on a birthday or anniversary card to my wife."

"You would," said Nick.

"Hey, Hal, can I use that dirty dancing with the devil line?"

"Be my guest, Eddie."

"Thanks Hal. You're a pal."

"See? It's starting with you, too, Eddie," said Dave.

"What starting with me?"

"You're starting to speak in verse."

"I am not." He looked at Dave with panic. "I am?"

"Thanks Hal, you're a pal?" Dave looked at him. "Dear God, man, did you eat any of Hal's peanuts?"

"No, but I handled the empty bag. I...I...I stuck my finger in the bag."

"Quick! Go wash your hands and scrub that finger before it's too late and before you catch whatever Hal has and are no longer a pervert in good standing of the Perverted Men's Symposium."




Celebrating National Nude Day Ch. 07



"Okay! I'll be right back. Thanks, Dave," said Eddie running out the hall while holding his index finger in the air.

"There, that's better," said Dave taking Eddie's vacated seat. "Eddie had a better seat to see the stage," said Dave. "Now, I don't have to lean around Weird Warren's big head."

"It's time to put aside sexually explicit, graphically erotic, and pornography. It's time to amend my life. If I don't try and break the perversions off now, I'll become a dirty, old man."

"You say that, as if there's something wrong with that," said Weird Warren. "I'm sixty-four and am proud that I have the libido of a younger man."

"Yeah, he's got the libido of a sixty-three-year-old," whispered Dave.

"Well, with that, we'll close the National Nude Day competition. Thank you very much Hal. Let's give Hal a nice thank you for that story, albeit a romantic one," said Stan sticking his finger in his mouth and pretending he was going to puke. "We all wish you the best of luck in finding whatever it is you are looking for, Hal. Now, it's time to vote. Please vote for the story you enjoyed the most."

*

Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time.

If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter.

THE END