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Where Do We Go From Here

By: Thom74



My creative writing professor in college once said that without the benefit of experience, a writer cannot begin to create, and that only the right kind of eyes can interpret that experience in a way befitting the reader. My heart immediately sank. I knew that my experience watching "The Real World" and drinking cheap domestic beer at keg parties would not make for interesting material, no matter what kind of eyes I had. Bearing that in mind, I decided to seek out those life-altering experiences. I wanted to forge a writer's existence and enlighten the world with my take on those events. I wanted to be like Henry Miller, for more than one reason, or like Hemingway, but Iowa was not Paris and besides, my girlfriend was a gun-control activist (that semester). I knew I would have to make things happen one way or the other.

I worked three nights a week waiting tables at a local restaurant called "Soma's", Iowa Cities' version of four-star dining. I was required to wear a tie, something I didn't mind as much. College afforded me few opportunities to dress up and I have to admit, I do clean up pretty well. I'm just shy of 6 feet tall but I have dark hair and a beguiling handsome face. I didn't feel like kid on the brink of financial collapse when I brought water and rolls to people in my tie. In retrospect, there was a veritable all you can write buffet of material on any given night inside Soma's but my writer's eyes didn't have 20/20 vision. I practically had to be hit over the head with drama to notice it. My story begins exactly 5 years ago, when drama by the name of Claire sat in my section and hit me over the head.

Saturday had been very busy. There was a home football game that day and when all the breweries and bars filled up, Soma's got the overflow crowd. I was working a double shift that day and had an hour to go home, shower and come back. As soon as I clocked back in, my section was getting double sat. As luck would have it I was breaking in a new pair of shoes and had a savage blister on my left ankle. Martyrdom was mine for the night. After the initial rush and a surprise late rush, I gave the check to the last table and was preparing to half-ass my shift work and sit at the bar for a drink. The hostess, a bat-faced troll of a thing called Bethany asked me if I could take one more table. Behind her was a very attractive middle-aged woman in a silk blouse and black skirt. Instinctively I agreed.

"Good evening Ma'am. Would you like something to drink something while you look at the menu."

"Yes please. I'll have a glass of Chianti and for dinner, I'll have another glass. Please leave the desert menu with me. I may order something to drink when I'm through with dinner."

"Right away. Will there be anything else?" She was astute and looked at me as though she and I had been friends for some time. "Yes. I believe I'm your last table and would very much appreciate your company." I was shocked. I wondered if she was coming on to me. What my co-workers would think of me sitting with this woman? I decided my feet needed the rest, I needed a drink and this could be the writers' fodder I so desperately needed for my creative writing class. "O.K. Let me settle my checks and clock out."

I went to the bar, ordered a vodka tonic and her Chianti and sat down with my mystery woman. How weird could things possibly be? I was in Iowa, not Tijuana.

I sat across from her at the table. She began speaking to me as if this had been the plan all along. "Thank you. I'm Claire."

"I'm Tom."

"Tom, I'm going to be very frank with you. If I scare you or intimidate your Midwestern sensibilities, please be frank with me. We will part amicably and move on to our respective greener pastures."

"O.K. Fair enough." I was intrigued. What the creeping Jesus was this lady about to lay on me? I could already see a page in my journal filled to the brim. "Tom, I'm going to be moving soon. I've made a sort of laundry list of things I need to do here before I go. One of those things entails fucking a young man such as yourself. No strings attached. Can you help me with that?

I sat utterly motionless and oblivious to my surroundings. I must have looked frightened because Claire asked me if I was O.K. I swallowed most of my drink and nodded my head. 

"Is that a 'yes?'" She said patiently. "Yes. It is a yes."

My mind was moving at a million miles an hour and coming up with nothing particularly useful. This was beyond weird. I felt as if I was on one of those reality prank shows and at any minute, the curtain would come down. She sat there smiling at me. I smiled back, faking confidence and wondering what to say at a race where the finish line was now the starting point. We talked a while and then she asked me if I would like to go to her apartment. I agreed.

We walked out together and Charles, the bartender shot me a look. I would have some explaining to do for sure and mentally calculated how my girlfriend could possibly find out about this. 

Claire was radiant. She couldn't be a day older than 38 and had beautiful, soft skin. She had a petite frame and smallish breasts. Her chestnut hair almost flowed past her shoulders and I found myself getting hard seconds after she closed the door. Turning around she immediately began unbuttoning her blouse. I wanted to kiss her mouth. She seemed to look through me and I sensed that there was reluctance hidden behind this quiet urgency. 

She took her blouse off and I could see the magical outline of her nipples under her thin white bra. I kissed her softly as her hand found the throbbing bulge in my pants. She was wearing a light fragrance that I knew would stay with me forever. She lead me to her couch, and in a moment of sexual synchronization, we were both undressed within seconds. She smiled at me as I sat naked on her couch and began to slowly caress my dick. I couldn't remember the last time I was that hard and the sight of her tiny hands gripping my shaft sent shivers down my spine. She gently kissed the purple head of my cock and began sucking on it. I was shivering with ecstasy. I wanted to come in her mouth but I also wanted to fuck her. 

Claire straddled me and slid my rock hard dick into her pussy. She was tight but slid down the thick, 7 inches of my cock, moaning and breathing very hard. I began sucking on her nipples as we fucked. I still could not believe what was happening. With every thrust I felt closer to an explosive orgasm. 

"Hold on," I said. "I want to taste you."

She immediately pulled my dick out of her sopping wet pussy. I laid her on the couch and began kissing the insides of her thighs. Her clit was swollen and I started to trace the outline of it with my tongue. She cried out and bucked her hips toward my mouth. I found myself licking every inch of her, sucking on her clit and tasting her deep inside. Using my index finger I gambled and gently began rubbing her asshole. She screamed out in approval and, careful not to hurt her, I worked my finger inside of her ass as I sucked her clit. My cock was almost swollen to the point of pain. 

"Fuck me in the ass. Please fuck me in the ass," she proclaimed. 

I turned her around on the couch. Her long hair cascaded down her back and in the darkness, she looked too beautiful to be doing something so visceral. I tenderly put the inflated head of my dick up to her tiny hole.

"Go slowly…at first." 

I gently worked about two inches of my cock into her when she cried out. I could tell she was almost in pain but did not want me to stop. I rubbed her clit and kissed her back. In a moment, the tightness seemed to let up and I worked my cock in more. Spasms of pleasure went through my body and I had to control the urge to fuck her harder. I slowly pushed more of my cock in and she began to moan again. Within minutes we were fucking as hard as before and she began to come. 

"Ohhhhh, please don't stop fucking me!" she screamed.

There on her couch, I buried the length of my ecstatic prick deep inside of her ass. I could see the outline of her hard nipples and feel the come from her pussy on my balls and thighs. She seemed to be having intense orgasms every two minutes and before I knew it, my cock was beginning to issue pre-come warnings deep in her ass. I started fucking her as hard as I could and she screamed out but fucked me back with equal vigor. Right before my cock exploded, she pulled away from me, turned around and grabbed my dick. It was too much for me to handle. I shot a hot ribbon of come into her hair. Instead of backing off, she slowly pulled my spastic gushing cock into her mouth. Despite the hot, white semen dripping from her forehead and chin, she sucked the voluminous loud and swallowed every drop, as if it were water in the desert.

My heart was racing. 

"So…where are you moving?" I asked.

"I'm moving back to the East Coast to live with my parents. I'm dying Tom. As soon as I do a few more things I always wanted to do, I'm going home."

Where Do We Go From Here



(This is complete fiction, though originally started with a crush I had on a young actor. ^.^ As a result, names have been changed. Also, forgive any grammatical errors. I could only go back and spell-check this so many times before I wanted to scream.) This is a cut scene from a novel I was writing. I'll finish the book some day. I decided it didn't need the sex. But I thought maybe you all would enjoy it. It is EXTREMELY long, as I wanted to describe every nuance possible. The scene when she gives him a blow-job, well, that was a milestone for her, as she had been molested as a child and had a penis phobia. But she loved him so much, she wanted to do that for him. Also, the story might seem a bit corny at times, and that also is one reason I cut it out of the novel. Anyhow, enjoy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She saw the look in his eyes, knew hers mirrored his. She also knew that she could have stepped back when he stepped forward and brought their bodies into contact with each other. Her breath caught as her breasts brushed against his chest, as their thighs brushed. Then he brought his hand up and cupped her chin, gently bringing her mouth down to his. 

Her heart lurched once when their lips touched, a tentative touch, a mere brush of lips. He pulled back half an inch and looked at her. She stared, eyes wide and aware, a faint trace of fear echoing under the longing that swirled through her deepening blue depths. A breath shuddered through her lips, her tongue darted out to wet them. Gareth almost groaned, then, when she didn't push him away, or remove her face from his feather light clasp and step back a safe distance from him, he brought their lips together again, this time pressing his more firmly against hers. He closed his eyes immediately, and Ilona followed suit. 

The kiss was slow and gentle, a tasting, a testing of each others wants. Gareth's lips slid over hers, rubbing once, twice before changing the angle just a tad and meshing their mouths together. A shuddering breath passed through Ilona's lips, and she slowly, hesitantly brought one of the hands that had been fisted at her side up to touch his face. Her fingers brushed his jaw, a light, feathery touch, and then she settled her palm on the side of his cheek, right below his ear. Gareth clenched his jaw momentarily, surprised at how that small touch burned his flesh. When her thumb stroked once he almost groaned. He longed to tangle the other hand in her hair, reach his tongue into her mouth, but settled for cupping the other side of her face and deepening the kiss only marginally. 

When his lips parted a milimeter and slanted upward so that the new focus was her shapely top lip, Ilona pulled air sharply in through her nose and flexed her fingers on his face. Her other hand was fisted in the fabric of her skirt, itching to run up his side, to touch him in other places. Her heartrate quickened when he began to lightly suck on her top lip, his tongue tentatively brushing her bottom lip. 

He could barely feel her heart beating against his, wondered if she could feel his. He longed to bring her closer, to have her molded to him, so there was no mistaking how hard their hearts were beating, how violently they wanted each other. Oh, he knew she wanted him. He felt her fist against his thigh, the way her fingers curled inward, struggling not to touch him. He changed the angle of the kiss again, slanting his mouth downward this time to suck on her full bottom lip. He tried not to, wanted to make it her decision, but his body seemed of a mind of its own, and his hips angled forward, pressing his groan against hers. 

She sucked a sharp breath in through her mouth at the exact moment his tongue had reached out to rub along her teeth. Instead, it slipped through that ivory seam and touched the tip of her tongue. The fingers that had a death grip on her skirt loosened suddenly, and Ilona's eyes flashed open. She held her body completely still while Gareth reluctantly released her mouth and pulled back an inch. His eyes were very blue, very deep, and she could clearly see, though she had never seen it in anyone's eyes before, the desire and longing clouding its depths. Focused on her.

He watched her shocked face as emotions flitted over them with lightning speed, as her eyes searched his gaze. Her breath panted out quickly, and because he had not drawn his body away from hers -indeed seemed simply unable to move that part of him away from her- the jerky movement of her rapid breathing teased his senses in several places. Her cheeks were flushed, and he saw the pulse thumping at her throat. He slid the hand that had stayed on her chin down to rub lightly over that teltale sign of her arousal. Her saw her swallow hard, thought he heard the moan that she swallowed with it. Then his eyes moved back up to hers and darkened.

Her eyes were languid, cloudy, her gaze focused intently on him. Her brows were knit with... what was it, he wondered? Longing, confusion, restraint? All three? He waited another heartbeat before taking her mouth again. As he had expected her to, she closed her lips, then, miraculously, opened them again, but only a little, so he would have to work at gaining further entry. He moved his gaze to see what she was thinking, but her eyes had closed, the frown grown deeper, but this time tinged with a definite line of desperation. So his lids slid closed too and his tongue came out to carefully run the seam of her teeth again. He brought his other hand up and slid it into her hair, cupping the back of her head and holding it firmly to him. 

Surprise flickered through him briefly when he felt her hand, the one that had remained apart, grip his hip, squeezing hard once, then slowly start the tantalizing slide up his ribs, his chest, the fingers fanning out to encase his entire throat and stroke a couple of times, then arrowing again to rest on the other side of his face as the first hand was. Her teeth parted a fraction and he quickly swept his tongue in before she could take the move back. 

When their tongues touched Ilona gasped lightly, her fingers instinctively sliding into his hair and pressing his mouth harder on hers. A slow heat started right below her heart, which was steadily thundering against his, and began to creep with aching slowness downward into her belly. The involuntary gasp had given him broader access to her sweet depths and he took advantage of the opportunity by slipping his tongue in further and rubbing it against hers, then stroking it along the roof of her mouth.

Her breath hitched at the new, slightly odd -yet appealing- sensation. Her breasts rubbed against his chest, and the sudden, sharp shock of pleasure that ellicited as her nipples rubbed against the lace of her bra pulled a moan from her. They hardened to tight, aching peaks with a quickness that would have amazed her had she been able to think clearly, and the low burn that had balled in her stomach flashed high and bright, then began to spread through her abdomen and crawl lower, into her hips and down her thighs, melting the bone and pooling in her loins. 

He definitely heard her moan, felt it vibrate in her throat almost like a purr, and allowed himself to moan. He took the final step and brought their bodies flush together. Now he could feel her heart knocking against his, even felt the quivers of her stomach muscles. Her tongue, which had rested on the bottom of her mouth while his stroked the roof, reached up and rubbed boldly against his. The pleasure of tongue touching tongue caused her to moan into his mouth again, and her hands slid across his shoulders, gripping them and then pulling, so that her breasts were completely flattened against the solid wall of his chest. Her body vibrated, he could feel it. He knew she struggled to keep one little part of herself -a rational part of herself- apart from the rest of her feverish body. As he also knew, felt, that rational part not so reluctantly succumbing to the desire that heated their skin. 

Gareth tilted her head back so he could reach deeper into the honeyed depths of her mouth, but this bared her throat and, though he hated to leave that hot little cove, he couldn't resist a chance to taste that smooth collumn. So he released her mouth, smiled when she made a little sound of distress, and kissed her chin, then ran open-mouthed kisses down her neck, stopping at the hallow at the base of her throat. He dipped his tongue in that shallow pool, was tempted to go an inch or two lower and sip at her cleavage, but decided not to yet. Instead he licked his way back up to the underside of her jaw and nipped at the pulse there, scraping his teeth along her sensitive skin as his fingers slowly scraped down her ribs. She gasped, her fingers bit into his shoulders, and she moved her mouth down to take his again with a little growl. 

Her tongue sought entry first, reaching into his mouth and wrapping around his tongue. Mindlessly his hips thrust against hers once, and he was sublimely shocked when hers thrust right back, her pelvis bumping against the small bulge in his pants. He groaned and lightly bit her bottom lip, then soothed it with his tongue. She moaned and spread her hands across his chest, rubbing them up and down, up and down before pausing over his stomach and then slipping under his shirt to caress his naked skin. 

This time his breath caught, and he in turn brought his hands up to the sides of her breasts, lightly grazing them and growling in satisfaction when she moaned. The growl turned into a deep groan when her hips thrust against him and her pelvis rubbed his crotch again. The hardness behind his fly tightened and grew, and, mindlessly, Ilona lifted one leg and wrapped it around his hip, heat seeking heat. Her lower body rubbed his several times, and he grimaced with the overwhemling urge to rip aside her panties and thrust into her fast and hard. Instead he lifted his head and stared down into her upturned face, her lips parted and little gasping pants puffing out of her swollen mouth. 

She opened her eyes slowly, had to focus them on Gareth's intent and burning gaze. When her eyes cleared and she started to become aware of what she was doing she froze, and caught her breath on a startled and distressed gasp. Next her hips stopped pistoning against his, and her heart stuttered in mortification before it settled at a steady canter, but her leg remained locked about his hip, as if the bone had solidified that way. Her tongue nervously flicked out to moisten her bereft lips, and she didn't say a single thing as she stared into Gareth's dark and penetrating eyes, though she longed to ask him why he had stopped. Then, as the seconds ticked past and the silence stretched out, realization came to her and she gasped loudly, glancing down their bodies to the place where she still craddled his bulge in her cleft.

My god! she thought in horror. She'd forgotten she was a virgin! She squeezed her eyes closed and bit her bottom lip, trying to will away the aching lance of arousal that shot through her loins. The only thing that had stopped that piercing ache had been rubbing along the hard, thick bulge of Gareth's penis, which was safely hidden inside his pants. How could she have lost herself in the sheer ecstacy of how he made her feel with those long, deep kisses so completely that the danger of jeoperdizing her virginity had never even entered her mind?! She groaned to herself and cursed her hormones. 

Besides the fact of her virginity, this just was not fair to Gareth. They were in the front hall for Christ's sake. She couldn't lose her virginity in the front hall on a teeny little table! Added to that was the fact that two of her cats stood on the other side of the room watching them with steady, unblinking eyes. 

Oh my god, she thought again. I can't do this with my cats watching like that! 

Her eyes snapped open and stared into Elijahs with deep regret. Her mouth opened to tell him she was sorry, that they had to stop before it went any further, but the look on his face stopped the words from coming. His eyes weren't so hot anymore, weren't so focused on the one thing that would stop the ache in their bodies. His blue gaze considered her face quietly, his lips pursed in thought. 

God help her she wanted to nibble on those lips. 

She shook her head hard to banish those impossible thoughts and opened her mouth again to turn Gareth down. A tightness settled in her heart, constricted her lungs. She didn't want to turn him away! Oh, god help her, she wanted him to take her, right there right now. Her heart lurched when she realized that his hands were gripping her hips, holding their middles together, and that his thumbs were rubbing circles on her hip bones. His gaze dropped to her lips and lingered, then lifted and stared into her eyes. 

The heat was still there, she thought with little shivers of apprehension. It no longer burned quite so hot, but it was still there. The evidence was in how piercing and steady his startlingly blue gaze was, in how rigid the bulge that was pressed so intimately against her remained. She licked her lips, tried a third time to tell him to let her go, let her up; to leave and go home. But he spoke first and shocked her speechless. 

"I know you're a virgin." He began quietly, his gaze holding her still. "I knew it from the beginning. Ever since you said you'd never dated. I knew," he whispered. "And I knew tonight that I would kiss you, and that you would let me kiss you and show you how good it could be." He took a deep breath, furrowed his brow for a second. "But I don't care." His eyes became gentle and kind, his face no longer taut with the strain of keeping arousal at bay. "I don't fall into bed easily. 

"There's only been one." He whispered, waiting until the meaning had sunk in and Ilona was shocked further into silence. "Sex is not casual to me, therefore I do not see this as a casual encounter." A faint smile tilted his lips, lips Ilona still wanted to claim as hers, despite how she knew she musn't let this go any further.

"I care about you," he finally murmured, and his hands released her hips to trace her eyebrows, her cheekbones, her chin and lips with feather-light touches. He studied all of her features with a slightly baffled expression on his face. 

Had she been a little more coherent, she might have been insulted by the expression. But she couldn't think of anything but how her heart had gone from canter to trot, how her insides were sighing at his words. How she ached and yearned to lose herself in him; in the comfort and pleasure his body so readily offered. 

"Ilona, I care about you, and you matter. You matter more than anybody ever has. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do." He took a deep breath and held it, then let it out and continued when he was certain her attention was focused on him again and not that little desperate part of her mind that denied what she wanted. "Except that I know you want it." Her gaze sharpened and she clasped her lips together tightly, then turned her head away so he couldnt see the overwhelming truth in her eyes. 

"And I respect your feelings and your wants and..." He let out an explosive breath so suddenly she jerked her gaze back to his. She sucked in her breath slowly, her heart reacting to the renewed burning in his eyes and steadily gathering speed towards a gallop.

"I want to see you come."

His words shocked her. Not the blunt way in which he said them. But because he said them with such vehemence. And all she could think was romance novels. Men said things like this in romance novels. Not in real life. In actuality they only wanted to fuck you. They never cared, truly cared, about your own pleasure, about giving you exclusive pleasure. They only wanted theirs. And yet she found no scathing comeback that she would normally have used had another man said those words to her. Because she could see it in his eyes, and she could feel it in his body language. What he said was true. He wanted that shattering pleasure for her, and perhaps only her. 

A jolt went through her at the thought that he might want it in return. Not intercourse. He would never pressure her into that. She knew it as she knew that the seasons would always change. But he might expect a return favor. She bit her lip, the thought of doing that to him momentarily churning her stomach.

As if he had read her thoughts, had been reading them all along, he shook his head gently and framed her face lightly, saying against her lips, "No no no no no no. You, Ilona. Just you." His voice was soothing, his kiss tender and reassuring. "I swear, I promise it's only you." He stroked her neck and leveled his intense blue gaze on hers, a silent plea for acceptance swirling around in those passionate depths. "Please," he asked in a hoarse voice barely above a whisper.

Her body screamed, Yes, of course! Dont be an idiot Ilona. Take what he offers! You know you want it. You want it almost as much as you want your book published. Her head said Eh, why not? I'm as much tangled up as your hormones are. And her heart murmured, Will another man ever say what he has to you again? Do you really think there will be anyone else who will speak in such a selfless manner? Take it Ilona. Take it while it's there.

Her conscious never even surfaced. The strong moral fiber that had gotten her through High School with her heart and self-respect intact never said a word in the internal struggle that tore though her. It stayed beneath the tumultous sea of feelings, as if it knew that it would never win. It counted its losses and stayed out of harms way. This was one battle it was too damn tired to fight. It had been fighting that battle for twelve long years, day in and day out, and it was tired. 

Just this once, it sighed resignedly. And we'll deal with consequences later.

Ilona shut her eyes tight, clenched her fists, and then let out the breath she had been holding as she gave Gareth his answer.

"Alright," she whispered, and was swept away again when his mouth swooped down to claim hers and his groin ground into hers.

Her system jerked at the sudden assault after such a long and expectant calm. A moan tore itself from her throat and her tonuge attacked Gareth's avariciously. Her hands raced greedily over his well-toned body, brushing over his nipples and making him gasp, then snaking around his back and smoothing up and down the muscled expanse. His hands fisted in her hair, his teeth nipped and his tongue plundered. He thrust his hips against her in a steady, mating rhythm that drew desperate little whimpers from her. Her breath panted out in short, jolting gasps as her heartbeat roared in her ears. The ache that had begun to lessen in her loins burst into flame and had her pleading for Gareth to stop the pain. He shushed her and released her mouth to travel down to her breasts. He bent slightly, his hips continuing the steady thrusting against her as his mouth moved over her breasts. He quickly unbuttoned her shirt and drew the fabric aside, exposing the lace bra that had teased him all night through the thin material of the blouse, and the milk white breasts that strained against their confines. 

God, he thought while joy squeezed his chest. He'd fantasized about her breasts since the very first time he had seen her. Then he had tried not to, but now... he kissed the tops of those soft, silky mounds above the lace with a greedy growl that tingled along Ilona's nerve endings.

She slicked her hands down to his butt, covered them over his jeans first, then quickly worked under the fabric and gripped his bare buttocks. Damn he had a nice ass, she thought with a lopsided smile while pleasure raged in her. His mouth was doing wonderful things to her breasts, she thought hazely, and gasped and moaned when his tongue slipped beneath the edge of her bra and licked over a rigid nipple. He abandoned the little flickering, teasing touches almost as soon as he had started, and placed the hot circle of his mouth directly over the nipple and sucked her through the fabric of her bra, his other hand squeezing her other breast and flicking his finger over its sensitive tip. She quickly abandoned his buttocks and brought her hands up to cup his head and hold him to her breast, her head thrown back and a look of pure rapture on her face as he suckled and nipped. 




Where Do We Go From Here



A sharp little pulling echoed in her belly as he suckled her breasts, and soon she was wriggling restlessly against Gareth, seeking something that had always been a dark longing inside of her. He used his teeth on her until she was begging his name and writhing under him. She had angled her hips up and out just enough so he now had a level of access to the core of her heat that tortured him. 

He craved, so savagely that desire clenched in his gut like an angry dragon clutching a mountaintop to rip it free from the earth, to bury himself inside of Ilona. He had to pause a moment and take deep, wheezing breaths, to remind himself that he had promised Ilona she would be safe from that type of advance and pressure. His ears cleared of the roaring and he could once more hear the shocked and throaty little whimpers and growls that Ilona wasn't aware she was making. Her movements against him were growing manic and her eyes were totally blind of anything but the sensations that ricocheted through her system. It was time, he thought with a slow, hard swallow, to let her fly. 

His hands yanked her skirt up and bunched it above her waist so the rough material of his jeans could rub against the thin layer of cotton that covered her driving heat. His teeth clenched and he buried his face in her ample cleavage as she gave a little cry of want and rubbed against him. His groin tightened, sweat broke out on his brow and spine to trickle coldly down his rigid back. The force of his desire almost robbed him of breath, and again he ordered himself to remember his promise. 

Ilona couldn't think but for the sharp and desperate aches that speared through her and stole her breath before she could draw it into her lungs. She wanted to wrap her other leg around his hips, to be closer to that hard and grinding heat, but she was too tall for him to hold her up that way. 

As if reading her mind yet again, he walked them backward until she was pressed firmly against the little table near the front door and he could see her clearly. Her cheeks were flushed, her chest heaving through her lungs. "Gareth," she murmured desperately, not really sure if it got past the restriction in her lungs or if it remained a fierce cry in her head.

Without preamble he lifted her onto the little table and pulled her legs apart, then settled his body between them and pressed against her. Neither heard the cup of pencils clatter to the floor, or the message pad land with a dull thud. Ilona let her head fall back against the wall and her eyes flutter closed as she anxiously waited for Gareth to touch her where she burned. His hands smoothed up her thighs, slid to the inside and settled on either side of her panties. He never took his gaze from her flushed face when he pressed his fingers to the hollows beside her mound and stroked up and down, slowly broadening out into small circles. He felt her body tighten in anticipation, allowed his gaze to drop to her heaving breasts. 

God how he wished to taste her naked breasts, draw the hard bead of her nipple into his mouth and suck it until it was red. Her hands had fisted in the fabric of her skirt, her teeth had dug into her lips again. He bent forward and soothed her nerves with his mouth, licking her lips until her teeth let go and her tongue reached for his. He took one hand away from between her legs and ran it up her quivering belly, then lay it below her left breast and stroked its lacey underside with his thumb. Her eyes flicked open and stared into his, and he smiled gently and watched her as his fingers slipped beneath her bra and his thumb brushed over her left nipple. She gasped loudly and arched her back. The other hand slid up to cover her mound and press against the soaked crotch of her panties. 

"Gareth," she barely whispered, but had nothing else to say and so just kept her bleary gaze locked with his. He began to rub his thumb and pointer over her nipple at the same time his pointer and middle finger stroked vertically up and down her vulva. Her breath hitched and then quickened, she swallowed and licked her lips twice. He bent forward and sipped at her mouth, pressing his two fingers more firmly against her. He worked his whole hand inside her bra and covered her, cupping his hand over her nipple so that the skin of this palms closed around its hard peak and tweaked it. She chocked on a gasp and let out a little whimper. The fingers between her thighs paused, and then the pointer moved up to rub hard against her clitoris. Her hips jerked off the table, her breath jerked in her chest, pushed her breast firmly into his hand. Her breath sobbed out twice before she got control and just sat there with glazed eyes, panting. His pointer moved in tiny little circles over her clitoris, his thumb copying the movement over her nipple, until her mouth trembled open and she said, "Please," then squeezed her eyes closed. 

Though his own desire was still raging, it had somehow taken a back seat to hers, and though his swollen penis still ached to be released from its prison inside his pants, it was no longer a driving, unbearable hunger. Oddly, he ached more to feel her release, to see her come from his sensuous ministrations. Eager now to bring her to orgasm, he slipped his hand inside her panties, groaned at the heat that felt like it was burning his palms and pulled her wet lips apart to slide his middle finger inside her in one, slow stroke. Her eyes slid open and she whimpered, her vaginal muscles clutching that single finger like a vise, then loosening. He stroked in and out a couple of times, his breath coming in little gusts as her eyes glazed. Then he carefully slid his pointer in beside his middle, making sure she could accomodate the extra digit, and flattened out his hand so his palm cupped her and his fingers reached in as far as they possibly could. 

"Ohhh," she groaned quietly, and tightened around him again. He took her mouth completely, swept his tongue inside hungrily, sandwhiching her nipple between his thumb and pointer and pinching then soothing, pinching then soothing as his fingers worked her slowly. Her hips began to thrust against his hand, her own hands leaving the wrinkled skirt and moving between her thighs to pull apart her outer labia folds. She chocked on a labored breath as this gave his fingers access to her clitoris while they stroked the tight walls of her vagina. Soon the rhythm sped up, his fingers stroking faster, her hips pumping harder. Her breath hitched as she felt the orgasm climbing through her with little teeth and claws. She could no longer keep her mouth glued to Gareth's, instead pulled back and let her head thump against the wall. Her mouth hung slack, her eyes wide and unseeing as the orgasm crawled up her torso and into her chest. Her hands reached up to clutch at Gareth's shoulders, the fingers digging in until it was painful. 

His heart galloped in his chest as he watched her climb and climb toward the peak, as her breath sobbed out and her hips stopped pumping to grind against his hand. And he moaned with his own form of pleasure when she came, her back arching well off the wall, her hips pausing briefly, her breath logged in her throat as if for one heartbeat everything had frozen. Then time resumed and her breath was pushed out of her throat as her vaginal walls contracted violently and pushed at his fingers, pushed so hard and so tightly he thought they would push them out entirely. But he braced the hand that had been working her nipple on her knee and pushed his fingers deeper. 

"OH!" she gasped as two tears spurted out of her eyes. "Oh god!" she said again, then she squeezed her eyes closed, grimaced in excrutiating pleasure and cried his name over and over just below a shout as she came into his hand. Her hips ground against his palm, the muscles of her vaginal walls clasping the two fingers so tightly he could not have withdrawn without hurting her.

When the orgasm slackened off enough so she could breath again, her hips resumed thrusting slowly, pushing him as deep as he could reach. She let loose one low, long moan and panted, gasping for the breath that had been robbed by the force of her release. Her heavy eyelids flickered open, and she had to blink several times to bring her pupils into focus. When they cleared they zoomed in on Gareth's face, and his expression stole her breath once more.

His eyes were bright with the sheen of tears, his breath gasping with hers. He released her knee and took one of her hands from the death grip on his shoulder and placed it to his galloping heart; held it there. His two fingers still worked her languidly, and he asked quietly, "Are you okay?" 

Her breath shuddered through her lungs as something hot and bright exploded in her heart. Something beautiful and miraculous. 

God she loved him. 

The thought popped into her head and paralyzed her. Her eyes bulged and her mouth dropped. She stared at him in a deep and complete silence, little licks of desire building back inside her as his fingers continued their steady stroking. The unblinking and penetrating gaze he levered on her while she struggled with her thoughts and feelings would have unnerved her, even frightened her. Had she been able to pay attention to him now. 

No! she screamed at herself. You can't love him! It can't ever work out! You swore you'd never fall in love... ever! But her heart wept and apologized for being weak and needy. 

I need it! It cried desperately to the anger and betrayal raging through Ilona's mind. Don't you know how much I need it?! 

His thumb moved up and flicked across her clitoris, and she came back into herself, back into the moment, with a chocking gasp.

"Where'd you go?" Gareth asked humorously, his voice very low.

Ilona swallowed and tried to answer him, but he was building the fires inside her again and she kept getting distracted. Her brow furrowed as she looked into his tender gaze. There was something there, she thought in a daze, something different. Something had changed. What was it? She shook her head and stopped trying to think when the heat began to crawl back into her chest. 

"Gar-Gareth," she moaned, her head falling back again and exposing her throat. He bent and licked it, nibbled at her pulse and grinned when she shuddered and purred. His desire was a low, steady throbbing that kept trying to rear up and take control, but he ruthlessly kept himself in check and focused on Ilona. 

Watching her come had been amazing. She had completely let go, had completely given herself over to him. The realization that she had opened herself to him utterly and completely, revealed the part of her she kept so well and closely guarded, touched him to his soul. His heart was bursting with something dangerously close to love. His head was full of her wild, startled noises. His lungs screamed for oxygen, and he realized he had been holding his breath. Releasing it he watched Ilona's face cloud. Her hips pistoned against his hand, and she securely locked her thighs around him, crossing her ankles and digging her heals into his back as she pushed against the exquisite pleasure swarming through her.

My god, Ilona thought somewhere in the screaming recesses of her mind. Again? He was going to do it again?

Gareth leaned over her, pressing her breasts against his chest, positioning himself so that his groin was flush against the hand that worked her and if he closed his eyes he could almost, almost, imagine that he was inside her. That the remarkable walls of her womanhood were squeezing him with the strength of a viper, were contracting over and over around him. He swallowed hard and groaned into Ilona's mouth. Her hands fisted in his hair and held him firmly in place. They began moving faster, and faster until Ilona was taut as an arrow and time seemed to skip a beat again right before she exploded in a million little pieces. 

"Aaah!!" she screamed aloud, her eyes blind and wide. Gareth mumbled things into her throat and felt tears leaking from his eyes. 

His body demanded release, clawed and left bloody, ragged furrows across his soul. He thought he was gonna die if he didn't come. With a pitiful little groan, he kissed Ilona's neck over and over and grabbed at the slick ropes of his sanity with raw and bleeding hands. When she had quieted and was limp, gasping tiny, exhausted breaths, he moved his lips over her face and kissed her brow before pulling away, extracting his fingers from her hot, tight body and rubbing the other hand down his face roughly. She barely stayed on the little table, her legs spread and hanging limply over the edge. She was turned at an odd angle, her chest heaving and catching, then evening out and heaving again. Her eyes watched him, and she swallowed and tried to sit up, but her arms seemed too rubbery. Gareth took another step back, stumbled over his feet like a drunk.

"I'm uh..." he gulped audibly, licked suddenly dry lips. "I'm gonna take a shower ok?" Then he turned away and took a lurching step towards the bathroom. His erection was so sensitive, so hard, that it was almost painful to walk. He gritted his teeth and lurched forward one more step. Then a firm hand closed over his bicep and turned him around, and he found himself facing Ilona, a tender smile on her lips, but determination as hard as steel shining in her eyes.

"No you're not," she whispered fiercly, and, because he was so weak, she pulled him with her and shoved him down into a chair. Then she knelt before him and, while he looked down at her with dazed and uncomprehending eyes, she reached for his pants and unbuttoned them. Automatically his hand shot out and covered hers. He shook his head, swallowed. "Don't," he commanded weakly. "You don't have to."

Ilona's brow lifted in that arrogant little way and she nodded once, yanking his thighs apart and scooting in between them so that she was flush against the heat and source of his arousal. "Yes, I do." She shook off his hand and pulled down the zipper slowly, carefully, aware of how tender he was at the moment. His eyes watched her, and hers never wavered, not even when she parted the jeans and reached inside his boxers to wrap her hand around him. 

This time his head fell against the back of the chair and he moved it from side to side as she squeezed him. His eyes squeezed closed and he grimaced, his chest heaving.

She gently pulled him out so that he was no longer comfined, not looking at his erect penis but keeping her eyes on his face, her heart starting to thunder in her chest as she saw the same emotions flicker across his face that had crossed hers, this face that she had come to love so much. He groaned and tried one more time to let her go. 

His gaze was bleary and strained when he met her dark and slightly apprehensive eyes. "Ilona, you really don't have to do this. I can take a shower and use my fist. Really." He watched her swallow, saw her squeeze her eyes closed and take several deep, steadying breaths. When her eyes opened again they were steady and determined. 

"Yes I do Gareth. You have no idea how much I owe you this." And she bent over him and took him into her mouth.

He reared and chocked on his breath. "God!" he shouted, his hands fisting around the arms of the chair. His body tightened, his face twisted in excrutiating pleasure. He nearly came right there, instantly. But managed not to. Ilona wrapped her hand around the base of him and rose onto her knees so she could take him as deep as she could, pulling in her cheeks for suction and moving slowly up and down the entire length of him.

"Oh god," he ground out, his head whipping back and forth, his fingers gouging into the chair. His toes were curled, his hips wanted to come off the seat and thrust. But he knew he couldn't do that. He'd choke her or hurt himself, or both. With a strangled laugh at the thought, he pulled air in through his nose and let it whistle out his mouth. His heart punched against his ribs. Ilona took her free hand and cupped his testicles, and he flexed his fingers again on the arm rest. 

Don't grab her don't grab her don't grab her he chanted inside his head. Just let her set the pace, let her do her own thing. But oh, he thought when his eyes popped open as she stopped sucking the whole of him and had moved to suckling just the head, using her tongue and flicking the tip teasingly. Oh god how he wanted to hold her.

She paused and glanced up at him. He gave a distressed, vaguely annoyed growl, and looked down at her over brows drawn tight in concentration. 

Then she grinned and took one of his hands, kissed the palm lovingly, then held it while she took him back into her mouth, and then, wondrously, placed his hand on her head, wrapping her fingers around his. She began stroking him, using her hand again, but while her mouth moved just up and down, her fist encircled him back and forth, back and forth. The combination was most tantalizing, and he felt the pressure building to a dangerous level. His fingers fisted in her hair and began guiding her of their own accord, and she murmured into his lap as she followed his unbidden instructions. Soon, he felt his balls tightening, felt his penis tighten to its fullest and the hard little ball of lust unfurling in his gut. He was going to come, and had to warn Ilona.

"Ilona," he gasped, and squeezed his eyes closed, struggling to hold back just long enough to get her off him. "Ilona," he gasped louder, and she cast her eyes up at him, but kept her mouth firmly locked around him, sucking in and out, her tongue stroking up the underside of his penis. She made an inquiring noise, flexed her hand around him. His eyes crossed, his body became rigid.

"Stop!" he gasped. "I'm gonna, gonna..." he let his breath out on a long, guttural growl as sensations tightened in his chest. 

"Mm-hmm," she mumbled, and returned her gaze to his lap. She continued sucking him hard and sliding that glorious mouth up and down the velvety smooth length of him, humming now as she did it. 

"I don't wanna-" his breath cut off when she tightened her fist achingly tight around the base of him. A drop of semen spurted into her mouth and he whimpered like a wounded animal that knew its predator was right behind the bushes ready to pounce. 

Ilona managed to say around his thickness, "Too bad. Come already. My muscles are getting tired. Please Gareth, come." Then she took a deep breath through her nostrils and opened her throat, taking all of him into her mouth and removing her hand so they both could play with his testicles. His body arched involuntarily, he heard Ilona choke as he pushed himself harder down her throat, but he couldn't stop what was bound to happen, what her cleaver mouth had so satisfyingly wrung from him.

He came then, the sharp release tearing at him with poisonous teeth. His hands fisted in her hair, and he thought he heard her yelp in pain, but everything was lost as the orgasm spiraled through his system, spreading to his nerve endings and then exploding as white lights before eyes blue as the deepest recesses of the ocean. He gave one shout before his panting turned into animal growls. His hands flexed and flexed in Ilona's hair, his hips jerking against her. The tension eased enough so his heart didn't feel like it was going to explode. His lips made mindless, wordless motions, and his toes uncurled to stretch inside his shoes. 

A smile came to his face, and he slumped in the chair, hands falling limply from Ilona's head. She reared up and started gasping for breath, and he jerked into a siting position, guilt stabbing into him to mix with the unfathomable pleasure he had just experienced.

"My god are you..." he stopped when he saw her lauging while she gagged. She grasped his knees and heaved, squeezing her eyes closed until tears fell from her lashes. "Ilona?" he asked gently, carefully touching her cheek. 




Where Do We Go From Here



She shook her head and managed to say, "I'm all right," but her voice was strained and hoarse. She continued to cough for several more seconds, then she leaned back to look up into his flushed face and wiped her hand across her mouth. She swallowed several times, giving a couple more tiny coughs, and finally smiled at Gareth's puzzled and very worried frown. She reached up and smoothed away the lines contorting the beauty of his face, and said, "I'm really fine. How are you?"

He took a deep breath and then blew it out explosively. They grinned at eachother. Then his face sobered, and he reached down to cover himself, accutely aware of how Ilona felt about such things and what she had just done for him. Her gaze flitted quickly to his lap and then back to his face. She swallowed and leaned up to kissed him hard on the mouth, taking his hand away and putting her own there, feeling and weighing him. She never thought she'd ever do this again, had vehemently told her therapist that she never would, not even if she loved the man with all her heart. But she had. And only because she loved him with all her heart. Should she tell him, she wondered, right there? Or wait a bit. 

The coward in her shouted out and decided her, and she only smiled aginst his lips.

"That wasn't so bad," she murmured, and felt his lips curve tentatively against hers. 

His hand came up to cup her face, his lips parted and his tongue went in search of hers. "You didn't have to," he said into her mouth.

Her tongue rubbed against his, slow and sinuously. "Yes I did." She murmured back, and swallowed the words that wanted to come up too. Because I love you.

Before either of them could work themselves back into a lather again, Gareth pulled Ilona up with him and led her to the bedroom, then removed her clothes silently and with unhurried sweetness, gazing into her anxious eyes until she was completely naked. Then he removed his clothes, noting and liking the way she remained standing before him, her shoulders back and her body tremulously revealed to him. Once he was naked, he took her hand, squeezed it back when she squeezed tightly, and led her to the bed, folding down the covers and kneeling in the middle. He smiled reassuringly at her, tugged at her gently until her knees bumped the edge of it, then brought his other hand up to grip her hip and drew her down till she was laying beside him. 

Still without saying a word, he rolled her until she was on her side, her back to him, and then he snuggled up behind her, her butt snuggled into his groin, and drapped an arm over her side to dangle just below her breasts. His other hand went to cushion his head and he kissed the back of her neck soothingly until she relaxed into the position and brought one of her hands up to grip the one below her breast. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and listened to Gareth's breathing until it evened out and he was asleep. Then she let herself fall into a dreamless night.

* * *

She did not awaken the next day dreamless. Her loins were aching, a thick moisture had gathered between her thighs. She moaned and shifted her position, nestling her butt more firmly in Gareth's groin. His hand tightened on her breast, and her eyes flew open as she realized what the warm presence at her back was. She swallowed and pretended not to feel Gareth's erection pressing hard against her buttocks. His fingers flexed, released her breast and slid down to flatten over her belly. He pushed her closer to him, his lips moving against the back of her neck, illiciting little shivers that coursed through her, tightening her nipples and deepening the ache that was spreading through her limbs. He murmured to her, slipped a leg between hers and brought his knee up distressingly close to her groin. She froze, breath shuddering in and out as fresh desire began coursing through her. Oh she wanted it all now, she thought. The oral sex had been stupendous, and completely fulfilling. But she desperately wanted to have Gareth inside of her, stretching her, filling her, coming inside of her. The thought made her catch her breath in stunned surprise.

Dangerous thoughts there Ilona, her mind hissed reproachfully. She bit her lip. 

I know! I can't help it!

Her conscious stirred and sighed sadly. Jeez, it said. Give her and inch, and she takes it ten! Ilona saw Gareth's penis in her mind's eye, imagined it ten inches long. Was it that long already? she thought. How deep was her throat? How long was her mouth? If she could measure...

Hold it right there! her body said. You don't wanna measure it beforehand. Probably scare you to death. Bad thing for virgins to do, measure the size of the penis that is going to break that barrier.

The rest of her system yelled at her body in outrage. Don't give her those ideas! It's impossible!

She took a deep breath and willed all those little voices and nuances of her personality to the back of her mind and turned in Gareth's arms, facing him and wrapping her legs around him. She sealed their mouths and rubbed her breasts against his chest. He jerked awake, stared at Ilona uncomprehendingly, and rubbed a hand over his sleepy face. Then he blinked and grew very still, glancing down quickly to find Ilona once more wrapped around him and his growing penis nestled in the hot cove of her femininity. His gaze whipped up to hers, his mouth opening on a protest, but she only pressed a finger to those lips and shook her head. She spoke quietly.

"I love you Gareth, and I want to do this. Right now. Right here. With you. I want it to be you." She waited, her heart and soul bared, quivering fearfully for his answer. His bluer than blue gaze searched her clear, honest eyes, and he swallowed.

"We don't have condoms," he said just as quietly.

A little smile flitted to the corners of her mouth and she took a deep breath before saying, "I guess you'll just have to marry then, won't you?"

Shock was a fist in his gut, and he stared at her speechless for several seconds. Then a grin bloomed on his face and he took hers in his hands and kissed her hard, rubbing their lips together, their tongues tangling hotly. He drew back and searched her face. "Are you sure Ilona? I mean," he was at a loss for words. He licked his lips and struggled with what to say. 

Ilona took it out of his hands and said simply, "I wouldn't have suggested it if I weren't serious. It's a chance, yes, but one I think I am willing to take, whatever the outcome and the consequences."

Another guy might have been insulted by the scepticism she protrayed. But he was bursting with joy. His grin was brighter than the sun, and he caught her up in another hot kiss. Soon the rousing kisses and sensuous rubbing wasn't enough, and he eased her onto her back, propping himself above her with his elbows and glancing down at her gloriously naked body. Her knees were drawn up, his penis nestled snuggly in the dark blonde curls that hid the entrance to her vagina. She didn't bother to stop the nerves that continually raced up and down her body, or how her loins quivered with longing and basic fear. Instead she kept her eyes focused on Gareth's stressed face, smiling tenderly at the discomfort he felt with the situation.

He wanted her intensely, but he'd never taken a girls virginity. Even his first hadn't been a virgin. And he hadn't loved her anyway, not like he loved Ilona. Not with the kind of love that could be built on and last a lifetime. He'd never love anyone like he loved Ilona. For a brief moment he wished she weren't a virgin. It was so nervewracking! he thought aggitatedly, shifting his body. All that accomplished was to rub himself boldly against her. She gasped in anticipation, and Gareth winced in pleasure. But he didn't move further, just settled himself again and watched her intently.

Ilona finally sighed and took his face in her hands, then brought his mouth down to hers. Against his lips she said, "The anticipation is killing me. Just do it hun. Please?" and she closed her eyes and sank into the kiss, letting herself go.

He groaned into her mouth, rocked himself back and forth against her a few times until his penis was between her folds and rested in the slick heat that had been hidden, then he reached a hand down and opened her for him, stroking at just her entrance, a teasing, devastating dip of fingers that stole her breath and blurred her vision. He let her mouth go and bent his head to kiss her chest, one breast then the other, flicking a tongue at her sexy little mole, then closing his mouth over one nipple and sucking until it was hard and thrusting eagerly against his tongue. His fingers dipped a bit deeper, and he rubbed her clitoris with his thumb, working his fingers in a circling motion, opening her, stretching her marginally. Maybe not enough to prevent pain, but he didn't know what else to do.

Her knees liquified, fell open so her legs were spread achingly wide for maximum entry. He took a deep breath and gripped her hips, guiding his penis to her and pushing the head in. Her eyes narrowed at the sensation, her breath coming in short pants. Gareth fought to control his breathing, focused everything on entering her virgin body with as little pain as possible. His heart thundered in his chest, gave little lurches of nervousness, and he felt hers thundering as well. He closed his eyes and pushed his hips slowly, two fingers holding the labia minora apart so he would have a clean entrance. He pushed inside her about two inches before her breath hitched and her muscles involuntarily contracted. He groaned and paused, his eyes seeking Ilona's. She stared at him with a slightly apprehensive look, but with mounting excitement as well. The latter gave him hope, and when she nodded her head slightly he took another deep breath and pushed again. He slipped in another inch before there was again resistance. He could feel how tight she was growing, heard her short, labored breaths as she struggled to remain relaxed so her muscles wouldn't clutch at him and cause her pain. 

He kissed her tenderly for several minutes, remaining how he was, not moving a single centimeter, until her breaths evened out and her muscles went lax. Then, with his tongue still stroking the roof of her mouth with long, sure thrusts, he slipped in another two inches before he had to stop again. 

She was tighter than he'd thought a woman could be without tearing, but only a faint frown marred her brow. He kissed it away, bringing one hand up to play with her breasts, easing her mouth open so he could again tease her tongue with his, making her reach for his and search his honeyed depths. He pushed slowly, sweat beginning to bead on his brow as her body reluctantly stretched to accomodate him inch by velvety inch. She sighed when he stopped, and he let her have a few moments to control her breathing and focus on continuing to relax her muscles. Her eyes had long since closed in concentration, but they opened and she focused on him and said hardly above a whisper, "I'm going to tear now. I can feel it. So you're just gonna have to push hard and not stop, okay?"

He frowned and started to shake his head, but she shook hers instead and said firmly, "You can't make it any easier Gareth. It's already been remarkably easy so far, more so than I ever thought it could be. And I can already feel the mounting pleasure I will feel after the initial pain. Just... push, okay?" Her eyes pleaded with his, and he nodded. Some of the worry cleared from her eyes and she took a last deep, fortifying breath and nodded for him to continue. He hesitated, then pushed. 

Her eyes widened, her teeth clenched, and she could not stop her vaginal muscles from clenching this time. She had to close her eyes and grimace, her fingers biting into his biceps as he pushed without pause and slowly felt her tear. 

A tear leaked out to run into her hair and she said on a pained moan, "Gareth, pla-lease." She took breaths one who is in labor would take, gave one last shot at loosening the muscles. It worked and Gareth, pushing as hard as he could, thrust suddenly inside, tearing into her completely. A keening cry broke through her lips, and she braced her heels on the bed, digging in and arching her back as the pain sliced through her. Gareth closed his eyes and held her to him, kissing her neck and chest gently and murmuing words of endearment and love to her. He remained utterly still, as if he had become a statue, not daring to move inside her yet. Several minutes passed in silence and stillness, during which time Ilona collected herself and Gareth pushed away the guilt that poked at him. 

He had no reason to be guilty. It had been totally her decision, and he had been as gentle as possible. Not realizing that he had attuned himself to her so completely, his breath eased when hers did, his muscles loosened when hers did. She settled back on the bed, carefully, slowly sliding her legs up to cup his hips. She met his worried gaze and smiled a wobbly smile. "I'm okay," she whispered, and slowly ran her hands up and down his back, pausing at his hips and then moving lower to cup his buttocks.

"Move Gareth. I want to know what it feels like." He nodded, nibbled at her lips, and slowly, carefully, pulled out of her, then pushed back in. Her muscles contracted and loosened, contracted and loosened over and over, as if her body were trying to figure out what that hard-as-steel thing was that filled and stretched it. He did it again, as slowly as he had the first full thrust, and then paused while her body responded in the same way. 

A smile crept over her lips and he smiled with her, though his mouth never left hers; lips always teasing, teeth always nibbling, tongue ever rousing. She made a hmming sound deep in her throat when he pulled out and pushed back in a third time, and this time her vaginal walls didn't clutch and quiver. Because he had been so afraid of hurting her, and that kind of fear certainly affected ones maximum performance, his penis had not been at its full size. But now that he could feel and see that she was beginning to enjoy it, he hardened and grew inside her, and a blush crept up his neck when her eyes widened and stared into his. Then she smiled, and chuckled deep in her throat when his blush deepened. He pushed in until he was inside her to the hilt, then he just held that position, rocking gently upon her. Her breath lodged in her lungs and her mouth hungrily mated with his, their tongues diving in and attacking each other mindlessly. 

His hands slid up her quivering belly to cup her breasts, and he used them both now, tweaking the sensitive peaks and fanning the pads of his fingers over them. Soon his hips began moving with longer thrusts, and her legs started scissoring, not knowing whether to spread wider or clutch tighter. He tried to keep the pace slow and steady, but the building heat twisted in his gut and pushed behind his thighs, ugring him to move faster, thrust deeper. Their mouths stumbled, racing greedily over each others faces as mounting passion jumbled their thoughts, eventually pushing them aside altogether and commanding a basic animalistic reaction. Her back began arching, thrusting her breasts into his face, and she decided to wrap her legs around him and squeeze.  

He gave all the attention he could to her offered breasts, sucking and biting, rubbing and pinching, but the heat was rising inside of him, and he could feel it rising inside Ilona. Quick moans and chopped off pleas fell from her lips, her heels dug into the backs of his thighs as she braced herself against his quickening thrusts. Her fingers bit into his shoulders. His hips pistoned, sped up the rythm to a feverish pace. Harsh breaths sawed through his lungs, his eyes clouded until he could barely see Ilona's face, flushed and filled with a wondrous expression. He blinked furiously, wanting to see the first time she came, needing to see it, and focused on her while his body took over. 

His thrusts became maddened, almost desperate, fast, hard thrusts that made wet slapping sounds when they slammed into Ilona. Her breath hitched, her back arched as the ache grew and spread, climbed through her, and then paused before tearing free.

Gareth came as soon as she came, though he had wanted to hold on until she had floated down from that battering peak. But when he felt her soft walls clamp achingly tight around him, his system overloaded and exploded as well, and their twin cries of release twined as their middles ground together and convulsed, and their limbs quivered and their hearts beat so hard they chocked them. 

Gareth came back to himself first, his head falling limply forward to rest on her shoulder and his arms giving out so that his full weight fell atop Ilona. She didn't make a single noise when he settled atop her, unable to move. Instead she struggled to draw breath into her restricted lungs and to blink away the dancing lights on the ceiling. They were very distracting. Finally, when they could breathe normally again, she sighed and ran a hand up and down his back lightly. 

"Mmm." she murmured, and smiled. "That was fan-fucking-tastic."

Gareth lifted his head an looked down into her upturned face and grinned.

"So," she murmured slowly, swallowing and then smacking her lips to adjust a tongue that felt too thick for her mouth. "When's the wedding?"



Where Do We Go From Here



It was just another Saturday afternoon for us. We had hot but quick sex when we woke up and after we showered we were lounging in the living room watching whatever on the tube. We had a nice buzz going from our gin and tonics and some nice pot. 

Jane was all touchie feelie horney and I loved it. All she had on was a clingy cotton shift that barley covered her ample ass when she stood and left her completely open to my touches. 

She had me as hard as a rock rubbing my cock through my jeans. We were teasing each other knowing full well things would end with her legs wrapped around my head and my face buried in her sweet cunt. After she came she would get me off any way I wanted. Usually in a 69 so I could eat het tasty cunt some more and lick her ass. I hoped to get her hot enough to let me fuck her in the ass. I knew it wasn't anything she really liked but she knew it drove me so crazy she occasionally would do it for me. There wasn't anything sexually I wouldn't do for her but respected her limits and boundaries so always hinted but let her offer her ass first.

I was on my knees with her legs wrapped around my head under the hem of the dress when the doorbell rang. I would of let it ring but she insisted I see who it was as both our cars were in the driveway and whoever was there would know we were home. 

So I stood and working my hard cock into some type of position that it didn't hurt and show much, I hobbled to the door.

I opened it to my old friend Tom whose voice Jane recognized and hollered: "Hey Tommy, come in!"

Tom could see me struggle with my stance and looking close saw that my face was wet, laughed, embarrassed and said: "Oh, sorry, I'll see you later." 

As he turned to leave Jane was leaning against the jam of the living room doorway saying: "Oh, no, come in, we haven't seen you in so long."

Now a little back story. Jane and I had been together a long time and had a wild rewarding sex life. We were both horn dogs before we got together and but had been monogamist since we got together. We almost had a threesome with a girl friend of hers but we could never all get together at the same time. In the afterglow of a good "sex in the afternoon" session which she loved we had talked a lot about our fantasies and the subject of me watching her suck someone else's cock had come up and I did admit it would be hot. I could tell she was working hard not to let me know how bad she wanted some strange cock. We were both oral sluts and lived for it. She was almost like Linda Lovelace in Deep Throat she loved sucking cock so much. She even taught me how to lay back and fully enjoy someone making love to your cock with their mouth.

So here we were, both as hot as we could be and my good looking friend shows up. I was very unsure of where this would go but had a pretty good buzz on so didn't object. I figured I maybe she would get even hornier, if that was even possible, and Tom would see it and leave.

Go figure! As soon as he sat down she was all flirty with him caressing his knee as she handed him the joint and asking why a guy as cute as he didn't have a girlfriend.

It was getting pretty obvious where this was going, so I found a way to get her into the kitchen and pushed her into the counter. I rubbed up behind her so my cock rubbed up her nice ass crack. As I was kissing her neck I ran my fingers over her lips and when I pressed the middle one between her lips a little she ran her tongue over it.

"I bet you would like to suck Tom's cock wouldn't you, my little cock sucker. You want some strange don't you?" I asked as I ran my other hand up the front of her dress and spread her nether lips to find her cunt dripping. Her nice little clit was sticking out begging to be touched.

As I pulled my cock out of my pants and pushed it up between her ass cheeks I continued working her over with my fingers.

"Say it, Janie; it will free you. You crave new cock don't you? It's OK, I still love you, but you need to say it out loud." I tell her.

"Oh God, honey, I love you but some new cock would be so nice. Does Tom have a nice one? Have you ever seen it? You would tell me if you knew wouldn't you?" She almost moaned. She was so consumed by her lust I had to hold her up.

"I have never seen Toms cock but I bet you won't even care what it looks like once it is in your mouth. You are a cock sucker aren't you? Say it!"

"Oh fuck yes, I love to suck cock. I will always love sucking yours and never leave you, but if you grant me this I will do anything. Please baby!"

"Will you let me eat Kelly's sweet young pussy? Will you suck my cock while I do it?" I ask hoping.

"Yes, yes, anything." She cries.

I slide down her body until I am kneeling and as I lift up the hem of her dress I spread her ass cheeks and kiss her ass hole. I lick it like a starving man.

"Will you let me fuck this sweet ass?" I push.

"Yes, anything!" She says freeing herself to lift me up and kneel in front of me. Then she opens my jeans and takes almost my entire cock into her wet mouth. "And I'll suck you anytime, anywhere you want."

"Fuck, you would do that anyway my sweet little cock sucker. I want extras. Promise me more."

"Anything." She says as I lift her to her feet and lead her back to the living room to find Tom looking like he is ready to leave.

"Bud, we have something to ask and whatever your answer it has to stay here between us. OK?" I ask.

He can see Jane is excited, her color flushed and she is sweating.

"OK" He says tentatively. 

"You see Jane is a cock sucker and she lives for it. She needs new cock and as I love her, I would rather it be you than someone who won't respect us after it is over. This is a onetime offer and we will never talk of it again. If you want this just take off your pants but if you are offended, please just leave and forgive us." I say nervous as hell.

He looks as surprised as a man can be but he stands, opens his jeans, lowers them and steps out of them.

As he is seated I lift Jane's dress over her head and find no resistance when I push her to her knees. It is then that he sees that I have my hard cock and balls hanging out of my fly. 

As the love of my life settles in between my best friend's legs, spreading them I can see that he is quickly getting hard. I expect Jane is happy with his cock as it looks to be a little bigger than mine. I wonder if this might have been a drunken high mistake but looking down past my throbbing cock to her ass spread open by her position, I really don't care.

I quickly throw off my clothes and kneel behind her. My cock easily finds her open cunt begging for my entrance. I slide part way in and hear her grunt. As I look around her shoulder I can see her stroking Tom's cock and balls while sucking him sloppily. 

"She does know how to suck cock doesn't she? She is without a doubt the best cock sucker I have ever met." I say and immediately feel her cum just from hearing this.

"You like that my cock sucker? You like new cock don't you? Well suck love, swallow it all down." I say.

Thinking about how easily my cock slid into her cunt I look down at her spread ass again and wonder just how open her ass may be. I take my middle finger and run it into her cunt alongside my cock and work it around bringing another moan from her. 

As I slide my wet finger up her sweaty ass crack I easily find her hot hole. Sometimes when we fuck or 69 I ask her to wink her anus for me and it excites me so much I cum.

As I run my finger tip around her anus she winks it for me knowing how hot it will make me. 

"Oh, you nasty little bitch, do that for me, give it up for me!" I order.

In this position I only have a couple of inches of cock in her and she squeezes me as tight as she can, making my knees weak. 

"Is my wife doing a good job on your cock bud? Has anyone ever sucked you so fucking nice?" I ask Tom but he has Jane's head in his hands and his head thrown back with his eyes closed.

He doesn't even open his eyes as he runs his fingers through her hair and says: "I don't fucking believe we are doing this. Thank you both so much!"

"Enjoy it bud, it may be the only time." I say and wonder why I wasn't more definite in telling them both it would not happen again. What the fuck am I thinking?

I now have most of my middle finger in her ass and as good as it feels I know she will need some lube for what I want. I realize we had brought our toy bag into the living room. Inside there are a couple of vibrators, some cock rings and most important a couple of types of lube. I reach for my favorite Astroglide and my cock slides out of her cunt to run over her ass hole.

For the first time since we started this craziness she takes her mouth off his cock and says: "You just can't wait can you love?"

I drop the lube by my knees and reach for her G&T and hold it for her to drink saying: "Here dear, this will make it seem like even a better idea."

Tom comes out of his dream state as his cock is now bobbing around in the air. Missing the excellent blow job he was getting he asks: "What's up, everything OK?"

"Relax bud, the cock sucking will continue after your cock sucker gets some nourishment. She will suck all that you have to give her until you both are satisfied." 

Looking at her I ask if she wants more of Tom's cock and she can only nod yes. I freak them both out as I take her chin in my hand and kiss her, with tongue, a lot of tongue. It overwhelms my senses, I can smell her cunt leaking it's heavenly juice, feel my cock around her ass, hear everyone's heavy breathing and now I can taste Tom's cock in Jane's mouth. 

Still kissing her I search her mouth with my tongue while I cup one of her nice hand sized tits. Her tits have stayed firm and have just the right amount of droop to make them simply caressable. 

I release her lips and giving her a soft kiss say: "Suck him beautiful, I love you. Give him a blow job he will never forget."

As she turns back to Tom he says: "Trust me folks, I am never going to forget this afternoon. Jane you suck like no one I have ever known."

I can see just the corner of her mouth as she smiles and then opens her mouth to cover his cock head. She is without a doubt the best cock sucker I have ever known and maybe someday we will tell just how this came to be.

As Jane returns to pleasing our friend I open the lube and covering the first two fingers of my hand I run them over her ass hole. She pushes back to meet them and winks again for me. They easily slide in to the first knuckle and I work them in and almost out. Soon I am in to the second knuckle and finally as deep as my fingers can go. I like to play with a woman's ass for a while but she likes me to enter her sooner. 

"Now hon, fuck my ass now. Take it and make it yours." She says, quickly returning to Tom's cock.

This is what I want to hear as I squirt more lube in the cup of my hand and cover my cock with it. I am so hot I am afraid I will cum all over her sweet ass. I have been known to do just that when I pulled out of her cunt, just to watch it shoot and then lick it off.

I like watching my cum shoot out of my cock and wonder what Tom's would look like. I know Jane will suck and swallow him dry so will have to continue to wonder.

I use the lube left on my hand to cover her asshole one more time as I ask: "You ready for this babe?"

She can only nod her head and hum what I expect is her form of yes. Tom is now watching to see the expression on her face as I enter her ass.

Every time I am at this moment just as my cock enters her tight ass I take it as a gift. When a lot of women suck your cock it is like a chore or something they do for you. Not with you. Jane does it for herself as much as the cock owner so I know it isn't Tom she is sucking it is just a new cock. But when she lets me fuck her "in the butt" as she says, it is something she gives me.

Anal is the final frontier for many and I savor every time with whoever it is. But something is radically different this time with her. I usually hold my cock just as it enters her but this time she seems more open and not just because of the position. She pushes her hot ass back onto my cock until I am half inside her. She winks for me but when I am inside her it is more of a squeeze. 

My knees shake now and I have to reach around her to support myself. It is moments before I realize I have my hands on Tom's knees. Both of us realize it at the same time but neither of us move or say anything.

Jane doesn't miss it and pushing her ass back some more I am balls deep in her ass and in heaven. I don't realize it when she takes one of my hands to cup Tom's balls.

"Just go with it boys, you won't burst into flames. You are best friends sharing the love of one of your lives. Relax this is just good clean fun between friends who love each other. If you are lucky it will get dirtier. Now do we play on or do I stop?" She says.

Tom and I look at each other and just roll our eyes and I say: "Remember what I said about you never speaking of this? Well.."

"Oh, don't worry about that, who would believe me anyway?" He said not wanting to miss out on the excellent blow job my wife was giving him.

So with his cock in Jane's mouth and his balls in my hand he settled in and spread his legs as wide as possible. Jane went back to work sucking like the champ she is. I knew just how good he must feel and it thrilled me to be a part of it. I enjoy a lot of touching during oral sex and attention paid to my balls is a big part of my pleasure.

Jane and I had been very high more than once and as I knew she had some bisexual experience I felt comfortable confessing to her once during one of these times, or maybe more often, that I had some fantasies. I often fantasize about another man's cock, in my mouth, shooting its load down my throat. I didn't say anything about wanting to be fucked but because she knew my love of fucking her ass and she had even fucked me with a vibrator once, so, well I was a little concerned just how far this was going to go.

She often would lift up from sucking my cock and say: "Taste." And kiss me swapping my precum with me so I was not surprised when she did it now. I was embarrassed she did it in front of Tom but as she didn't give me much choice I let her fuck my mouth with her tongue. I loved the taste! I wanted more but was so afraid of what Tom would think I broke the kiss and moved to bite her on the neck. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to let her know to slow down a bit.

Luckily he was in his head back, eyes closed position. But I figured fuck it, there was no turning back now so I reached over with my other hand and stroked his cock as Jane sucked on the crown. I knew she was painting it with her tongue and he would be cumming soon so I stroked him faster and deepened my fucking of her fine ass. This was the first time I felt that she was into me fucking her ass. She was meeting my thrusts and working my cock with her muscles like it was a hand. 

Knowing that Tom and I were close and I had his shaft and sack covered by my hands I whispered into her ear: "Play with your clit my little cock sucker. You are going to make two men and yourself all cum. You are a fuck goddess. Fuck me, suck him, get yourself off too.

And it happened, I heard Tom say: "Oh fuck, oh God, don't stop, oh my God!"

And as I felt his balls spasm I could feel the cum shoot up his urethra into her mouth and she started to cum herself. It felt like the house was shaking as she shook all over and squeezed my cock so hard it almost hurt. My balls were bouncing off her cunt and she reached one hand between our legs to hold them, I erupted. 

"Oh my God Jane, do that, oh fuck me I love you!" I moaned as I shot hot cum deep into her guts until I couldn't stand it anymore and had to grab the couch for support as I emptied my balls deep inside her.

It was a while before anyone of us moved or spoke. Jane was the first pushing my cock out of her ass and turning to lean back against the couch next to Tom's leg. 

Tom was quiet and just lay there in a post orgasmic state. 

Not knowing what to do or say I blurted out something "about being right back" and went upstairs to wash. As I stood outside the shower feeling the temperature raise I wondered: Where do we go from here?



Where Do We Go From Here?



Dear Laurel, Manu, fellow authors and my Literotica readers,

The end of another year is drawing to a close. And this year is not just the end of another year, but of an era it seems. If the rumors are true and 2014 was the final year for Survivor, then I feel that the words of country singer Tim McGraw says it best...

The ending of an era and the turning of a page

Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here.

And for me, I want to say a special thank you to Manu and Laurel for creating a quality site like Literotica where it is not just porn or even erotica but literature as well. I am sure you did not become millionaires from this. This place may be as much as labor of love as a business even. And I am sure that you do not need a bunch of whiny, author divas making it even worse. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing what you do.

Thanks too to Lauren Hynde, CrimsonMaiden and Boxlicker101 for moderating what I am sure must be one of the most contentious forums on Literotica. And for updating scoreboards and answers questions. And all the other things you do. Take a well-deserved break. 

To my fellow authors, even the ones I don't like, thank you for the friendly (and sometimes not so friendly) competition. You made me a better writer and person. Friend or foe. I wish you all the best and as I say...may the best man (wo-man) win. 

To all my lovely readers, thank you for your comments...good and bad, you have made me a better storyteller. And to those special ones of you that have taken the time to message me...I have saved everyone (well maybe not the nasty anonymous ones). This is a labor of love for me...and those messages are the only paycheck I get for my work here at Literotica. Keep them coming please. 

So now that I have gotten those out of the ways (oh wait...is there a big burly bouncer waiting off stage like at the Oscars?) I want to expound a bit on that ending of an era and turning of a page...

Survivor has been the most amazing thing for me as a writer and a person. Five years ago, I returned to my life long love of writing. I started at a fetish site but there were stories I wanted to write beyond just that fetish. Then someone there told me about Literotica. I created an account and begin to post stories here. 

I needed my writing then...to help me focus. I had a sick child and was fighting with all my heart to save my marriage. But when I sat at the keyboard all that floated away and I could be anyone I wanted to be and do anything I wanted to do. Okay, those first hundred stories...ninety percent sucked and I cringe when I read them today. But all of us have to learn somewhere, somehow. Even Picasso must have finger painted once or twice...and I bet they'd be worth big bucks today if his mama had saved them.

Then I discovered the Survivor Contest and for a goals driven person it was nirvana. The idea of competing and writing stories in all thirty-five categories was challenging...and trust me writing in some of those categories was a real challenge (my apologies to anyone who has ever read one of my Loving Wives or Incest/Taboo stories). But it stretched me as a writer and challenged me as a person to face my own prejudices. And by the end of that first year, I had developed writing as a daily habit. 

Five years on, I still need it. I still need that release that comes from sitting at my keyboard and pouring out my soul. I still feel like I won the lottery when I open a message from someone who was touched by one of my stories. I am proud and humbled by the whole process. And when my world is running mad, my daughter's health is not good and I cannot think my way out of a paper bag it seems that my goddess or fate or angels or something always sends one of those messages to remind me that what I do is not just about writing sex and porn...it is about the human condition. And hell yes, sex is a big part of that, folks. 

I might have never placed first but let me tell you I won that damned contest every single time I participated. So one more time...thank you all...oh, and where do we go from here...onwards and upwards because after all we are Survivors. 

Goddess bless and keep us all,

Tara