Hey, are you free right now? There's something I want to talk about. I hope this isn't a
bad time for you to talk. If it is, I understand. You know, I can always say what I have to
say another time. Yeah, I guess I'm being too nervous here. This won't take long anyways.
I just, there's something I need to ask you. If only so I can sleep better at night. And
I promise it's not anything bad. Though I guess that depends on your point of view.
Look at me, circling around the subject as always. Sorry for being so awkward. This is
a little embarrassing to tell you the truth. If I keep stalling like this though, you'll
probably start worrying and I don't want that. So I guess I'll just have to tell you. Okay.
I was just wondering if maybe, uh, you and I could, uh, well, have sex. Now, okay, before
you say anything, just let me say what I need to say. I mean, you and I have been friends
for a really long time. For me to drop this kind of bomb on you is a little cruel. I know
that, but just hear me out. That's all I'm really asking. Okay. As you know, I've never
really had any experience with dating, falling in love. I've done plenty of course. Um, God
knows how many times you've had to console me over my stupid one-sided crushes. And through
it all, I've always kept saying the same thing. I'm waiting for the right one. I'm just waiting
for a guy who will be perfect for me and then I can start thinking of a relationship. But
you know what? Lately, I haven't been able to believe in fairy tales anymore. I just
keep waiting and waiting for the perfect guy to come along and I keep fantasizing what
it'll be like when I truly find Mr. Right. But in reality, I'm starting to believe that
guy might not exist at all. Now I don't want you to start scolding me. I haven't given
up on love as a concept. God knows I'm too much of a romantic for that. But to tell you
the truth, that's not even the problem. The problem is lately I've had trouble keeping
myself under control for these past months instead of fantasizing about love. And it's
like my mind's fixated on the physical side of things. I just feel like there's this huge
pressure building up inside me. And when I see a guy I like, I can't find it in me to
fall in love with him. Instead, I just want him to take me. I just want to know what it
feels like to get fucked. In the beginning, it wasn't much, just a few fantasies here
and there. I started picturing some of the guys I know when I played with myself at night.
But lately I've started to lose control over myself and I just can't stop thinking about
it. I need to know what it feels like so bad. I want to know what it tastes like. I want
to know what it smells like, what it sounds like. I'm starting to scare myself. Every
guy I see, I picture in bed with me. My body just won't let me rest and my mind is always
racing with the pictures of it. No matter how much time I spend playing with myself,
making myself come over and over again, the pressure just isn't leaving me and my fingers
aren't enough. I've even gotten a new toy hoping it would help, but it's not. And the
only thing that can cure me is just to get over that hurdle. I need somebody to fuck
me. Just saying it is enough to set my body on fire. But I can't just give myself to anyone.
God knows. I could easily get myself hurt. I need somebody who I can trust. Somebody
who would take good care of me without judgment. Somebody who wouldn't just take advantage
of my weakened state of mind. And the only person I trust enough for that is you. You've
been so kind to me. Really more than kind. You've been an angel, a heartbreak, illness,
grief. You've always been there for me, no matter how stupid or crazy I got. And to tell
you the truth, you're the one my mind keeps going to. At night, when I close my eyes,
your face is the only one I want to imagine between my legs, and your body is the one
I always picture on top of me. That's why you're the only guy I can trust with this,
so please, please fuck me. Please. I would let you do anything you want to my body, as
long as it's real. As long as it comes from a place of truth. You could get rough with
me if that's what you want. Pull my hair, spank me, bite my neck, call me a bad girl
and treat me like one. As long as you treat my body right, I promise it can be yours.
Or if you want, I could even be the one being rough with you. If you like to just lay down
and let me take control, I can teach myself everything I need to know. I could use your
body like a personal playground and turn you from teacher to student. If you want, you
can make love to me. Real slow, eyes locked onto mine, your breath and mine combining,
moaning into each other's mouths, kissing as if we die if our lips ever left each other.
This isn't about feeling good for me anymore. I just want to feel something. I just want
to feel everything. Overwhelm me, please, with pleasure, with pain. I don't care. I
just want you to overcharge my body. Fill my every hole with your fingers. Make me forget
what my name is. Make me come as many times as you can or edge me until I hate you, until
I'm screaming at you at the top of my lungs, until I lose my voice. I'm not asking for
much. I just can't be alone with my body tonight. Something insane has to happen to me. I have
to purge myself of these feelings, and you're the only one who can. So please, it's all
I'm asking for. Just fuck me. Because if you don't, someone else will. And that someone's
not going to be as perfect as you are for the job. So please, please, at least consider
my offer.