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Hey, are you free right now? There's something I want to talk about. I hope this isn't a

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bad time for you to talk. If it is, I understand. You know, I can always say what I have to

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say another time. Yeah, I guess I'm being too nervous here. This won't take long anyways.

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I just, there's something I need to ask you. If only so I can sleep better at night. And

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I promise it's not anything bad. Though I guess that depends on your point of view.

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Look at me, circling around the subject as always. Sorry for being so awkward. This is

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a little embarrassing to tell you the truth. If I keep stalling like this though, you'll

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probably start worrying and I don't want that. So I guess I'll just have to tell you. Okay.

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I was just wondering if maybe, uh, you and I could, uh, well, have sex. Now, okay, before

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you say anything, just let me say what I need to say. I mean, you and I have been friends

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for a really long time. For me to drop this kind of bomb on you is a little cruel. I know

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that, but just hear me out. That's all I'm really asking. Okay. As you know, I've never

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really had any experience with dating, falling in love. I've done plenty of course. Um, God

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knows how many times you've had to console me over my stupid one-sided crushes. And through

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it all, I've always kept saying the same thing. I'm waiting for the right one. I'm just waiting

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for a guy who will be perfect for me and then I can start thinking of a relationship. But

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you know what? Lately, I haven't been able to believe in fairy tales anymore. I just

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keep waiting and waiting for the perfect guy to come along and I keep fantasizing what

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it'll be like when I truly find Mr. Right. But in reality, I'm starting to believe that

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guy might not exist at all. Now I don't want you to start scolding me. I haven't given

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up on love as a concept. God knows I'm too much of a romantic for that. But to tell you

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the truth, that's not even the problem. The problem is lately I've had trouble keeping

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myself under control for these past months instead of fantasizing about love. And it's

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like my mind's fixated on the physical side of things. I just feel like there's this huge

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pressure building up inside me. And when I see a guy I like, I can't find it in me to

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fall in love with him. Instead, I just want him to take me. I just want to know what it

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feels like to get fucked. In the beginning, it wasn't much, just a few fantasies here

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and there. I started picturing some of the guys I know when I played with myself at night.

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But lately I've started to lose control over myself and I just can't stop thinking about

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it. I need to know what it feels like so bad. I want to know what it tastes like. I want

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to know what it smells like, what it sounds like. I'm starting to scare myself. Every

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guy I see, I picture in bed with me. My body just won't let me rest and my mind is always

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racing with the pictures of it. No matter how much time I spend playing with myself,

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making myself come over and over again, the pressure just isn't leaving me and my fingers

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aren't enough. I've even gotten a new toy hoping it would help, but it's not. And the

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only thing that can cure me is just to get over that hurdle. I need somebody to fuck

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me. Just saying it is enough to set my body on fire. But I can't just give myself to anyone.

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God knows. I could easily get myself hurt. I need somebody who I can trust. Somebody

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who would take good care of me without judgment. Somebody who wouldn't just take advantage

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of my weakened state of mind. And the only person I trust enough for that is you. You've

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been so kind to me. Really more than kind. You've been an angel, a heartbreak, illness,

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grief. You've always been there for me, no matter how stupid or crazy I got. And to tell

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you the truth, you're the one my mind keeps going to. At night, when I close my eyes,

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your face is the only one I want to imagine between my legs, and your body is the one

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I always picture on top of me. That's why you're the only guy I can trust with this,

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so please, please fuck me. Please. I would let you do anything you want to my body, as

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long as it's real. As long as it comes from a place of truth. You could get rough with

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me if that's what you want. Pull my hair, spank me, bite my neck, call me a bad girl

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and treat me like one. As long as you treat my body right, I promise it can be yours.

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Or if you want, I could even be the one being rough with you. If you like to just lay down

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and let me take control, I can teach myself everything I need to know. I could use your

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body like a personal playground and turn you from teacher to student. If you want, you

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can make love to me. Real slow, eyes locked onto mine, your breath and mine combining,

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moaning into each other's mouths, kissing as if we die if our lips ever left each other.

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This isn't about feeling good for me anymore. I just want to feel something. I just want

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to feel everything. Overwhelm me, please, with pleasure, with pain. I don't care. I

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just want you to overcharge my body. Fill my every hole with your fingers. Make me forget

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what my name is. Make me come as many times as you can or edge me until I hate you, until

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I'm screaming at you at the top of my lungs, until I lose my voice. I'm not asking for

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much. I just can't be alone with my body tonight. Something insane has to happen to me. I have

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to purge myself of these feelings, and you're the only one who can. So please, it's all

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I'm asking for. Just fuck me. Because if you don't, someone else will. And that someone's

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not going to be as perfect as you are for the job. So please, please, at least consider

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my offer.