1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,200 Hey, it's me. 2 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:24,160 I know we haven't spoken in some time, but I was thinking about you. 3 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,520 I mean, I thought of you earlier. 4 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:34,480 I was listening to a song on the radio, My Way to Work. 5 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:38,400 They were highlighting some old indie bands trying to promote music or something. 6 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,920 I wasn't paying much attention to it. 7 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:48,800 But then, then they played a song that I recognized. 8 00:00:48,800 --> 00:01:04,240 I didn't know the name of the song or the band, but the tune was familiar, the lyrics. 9 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:12,880 And then I remembered, it's a song you used to like. 10 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:18,640 It's the tune you used to hum when you were happy. 11 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:28,880 And just like that, memories came flooding back and it made me wonder. 12 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:33,400 Made me think about you. 13 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,320 I tried to search you up online. 14 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:43,200 Shit, that, that makes me sound like I'm some kind of a stalker. 15 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,840 I'm not trying to stalk you. 16 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,960 I'm just curious. 17 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,240 I was curious, was curious. 18 00:01:52,240 --> 00:02:08,120 Um, look, I will be honest, I miss you, um, from time to time. 19 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:20,360 I try to imagine how you would look now and how you would sound and I know it's been years 20 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:36,680 and guys, it's been that long already, um, to be completely honest, this isn't the first 21 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:37,680 time I've thought about you. 22 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:44,720 It comes and it goes in waves and I'll go months, I will go months without thinking 23 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,400 about you, without you even fucking crossing my mind. 24 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:57,080 And then something will happen and I'll come across a photo from before, uh, it smells 25 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:07,680 something familiar, you're a toon and suddenly there you are, occupying my mind with every 26 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:16,480 thought, flooding my mind with memories and that's when it really starts. 27 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:23,920 I'll search around for the box that I have, the one I told myself to throw away. 28 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:32,840 It's filled with pictures and other memories of days long gone and I'll smile, smile at 29 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:39,120 photos of better times when your smile was all that I needed. 30 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:46,280 And then I will find my old phone, my old phone at the bottom. 31 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:56,720 It's the one, it's the one that's filled with those texts, those old texts between us. 32 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:10,960 And then, in the files, there's something that's just even more valuable to me, it's 33 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:18,440 the old voice messages and recordings you left me. 34 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:29,320 I play them back again and again, hearing your voice echoing through my ears and if 35 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:38,240 I close my eyes, I can imagine that you're here with me, remembering the days when you 36 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:45,520 used to comfort me in my sleep. 37 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:52,560 I'll play our memories over and over again in my mind and it's like it's some sort of 38 00:04:52,560 --> 00:05:03,040 song I can loop and every time I paint over the picture of us in my mind, covering up 39 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:11,120 any flaws, convincing myself that those were the days, those were the days I was truly 40 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:24,640 happy, the past was so colourful, the past is so colourful and perfect, while the present 41 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:40,720 is just so fucking murky and uncertain. 42 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:52,880 I play the story of us in my head again and again and again, directing it as if it's a 43 00:05:52,880 --> 00:06:01,960 play and I want it to be perfect. 44 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:08,560 But it'll never be perfect because that's how the play ends and the play always ends, 45 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:20,800 no matter how much I wish it was otherwise, how then I'm left feeling hollow, like I've 46 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:30,880 dug another small chunk from my heart and I know I will do it again in a few months 47 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:41,720 or more and because fucking deep down, I know that I'd happily take this pain if it means 48 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:47,760 I can live in the memories of you. 49 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:55,440 So I keep doing this to myself, this unhealthy obsession with the past, with you, and I know 50 00:06:55,440 --> 00:07:05,240 logically I should stop myself, I should just move on with my life and I have, I have, I 51 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:17,040 have, I have, at least I hope I have, but then I hear a damn song on the radio and I'm 52 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:22,560 right back there, I'm right back there, opening up a box I should have thrown away years ago, 53 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:29,760 getting drunk around a pile of memories, recharging a phone that should, by all rights, have been 54 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:35,040 dead. 55 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:51,560 Just so I can get a phone number, so that this call... 56 00:07:51,560 --> 00:08:09,320 So I get this call might seem out of the blue and I really, deep down, I know this message 57 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:22,840 will never reach you, but it's the only number I have.