1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Oh, God. 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:10,000 Um, yeah? 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:19,000 Yeah, hi, yeah, sorry, I'm in the bathroom. 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,000 Um, hold on. 5 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:38,000 Hey. 6 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:50,000 Oh, let me help you with that. 7 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,000 Yeah, I'm fine. 8 00:00:54,000 --> 00:01:13,000 I was just reading my horoscope, and I, well, apparently, I am either getting a tattoo or a new pet soon, or something bigger. 9 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:20,000 Like, I don't know. Yeah, two tattoos. 10 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Just big honking Tasmanian devil tats on both my legs, which will luckily imbue me with the spirit necessary to beat my current very impressive 40 minute mile. 11 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:49,000 I know. Isn't that so exciting? You are going to have a stallion on your hands, baby. 12 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:53,000 Yeah, no, I'm sorry. 13 00:01:53,000 --> 00:02:00,000 Um, I'm just, I'm just, I'm so tired. 14 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:06,000 I know you left when I had just woken up but I just, I, oh man. 15 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:14,000 Did they have that ice cream that I wanted, by the way? 16 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,000 Damnation. 17 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:26,000 Yeah, I know, I know. I know that it's a weird flavor, but it exists. I mean, I saw it on the Ben & Jerry's website so. 18 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:33,000 It was not a dream. I'm not, I'm not crazy. Okay, look, look. Okay, just, I'll look it up. 19 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:38,000 Echo, Ben & Jerry's Irish Fabman. 20 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:43,000 Isn't it so cute? It's like fab, like a mine of fab flavor, but also like the famine. 21 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,000 Sorry, I don't know that one. 22 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:54,000 I promise you. Echo, Ben & Jerry's potato chip ice cream. 23 00:02:54,000 --> 00:03:05,000 Here's something I found on the web. According to HerWorld.com, this year's event will also see a new ice cream flavor joining the Ben & Jerry's family in Singapore, the couch potato. 24 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:10,000 Wait, what the fuck? 25 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:22,000 Did I dream it? Echo. No, no, no, no, no. I, fuck, I swear to God. It's like, it's potato chips, and then they're in like this, it's like an Irish coffee ice cream, and then there's like a curry swirl. 26 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,000 Oh my God. 27 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:30,000 I just so super dreamed. 28 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,000 Oh. 29 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:37,000 What the fuck. 30 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:42,000 Oh, well, well, God damn it. 31 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,000 That's disappointing. 32 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:55,000 Thank you. Yeah, I mean, honestly, knowing now that I'm the one who came up with it, it does make me pretty proud. I think I did write by the Kelps, you know. 33 00:03:55,000 --> 00:04:04,000 I think they would be happy with that. The combination of history and culture is just, mmm, delectable. 34 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:20,000 Oh, it is a bummer though. Okay. What new flavor would you make? And I know that it's not going to come anywhere near to mine, but just, just give me a, give me something. And it has to recall a tragedy. 35 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:34,000 Like, ooh, ooh, like the Donner Par-Tay, and it's vanilla with like a bunch of raspberries swirled in. Wait, no, that feels too basic. What, what should we add? 36 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,000 Ooh. 37 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:42,000 Oh, baby doll, that is gnarly. 38 00:04:42,000 --> 00:05:04,000 Oh, bless your poor pitiful genius tongue because you're the first one trying to scooper that. 39 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:09,000 I love you too. 40 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,000 I love you. 41 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:41,000 So much. 42 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:50,000 Oh, you got mine. 43 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:55,000 Yeah. 44 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:59,000 Actually, 45 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:03,000 I can't. 46 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:22,000 No, it's not. I'm not being picky. 47 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:41,000 Yeah. I took two tests and I have another one. I was going to take it just to be sure. But I, I think I am. 48 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:45,000 I'm pregnant, honey. 49 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:56,000 I know it's maybe not the best time. I know we still have some things that we wanted to do. I just, 50 00:06:56,000 --> 00:07:20,000 I guess this is, this is just how it's going. And I'm, I'm not going to apologize because that feels wrong, but 51 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:33,000 I, I know that, that this is different than what we had planned. So 52 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:53,000 just tell me how you're feeling. Okay. Say something, please. Please don't just let me stand here, not knowing. 53 00:07:53,000 --> 00:08:15,000 No, I'm just really, really. 54 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:32,000 Oh my God. 55 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:46,000 I'm really glad. 56 00:08:46,000 --> 00:09:05,000 I'm scared. I'm scared of everything. 57 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:20,000 Oh my God. I thought I was going to throw up. 58 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:41,000 I'm so excited and I love you so much. And I just was so scared that you would feel like I had ruined everything. And I just, I wouldn't have any idea what to do if you were angry. And I love this stupid baby so much already. It deserves everything. 59 00:09:41,000 --> 00:10:00,000 All the good stuff. And I was thinking, what if we split up and then good stuff just doesn't exist. They just don't have it anymore. They grow up thinking that it's their fault. 60 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:10,000 No, I didn't think that you would, but I just... 61 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:28,000 A lot of things flash through your mind when you're staring at two little lions, sniffed or peeing yourself dry, you know. I drank all the seltzer by the way, I forgot to tell you to get more. I'm sorry I'm crying so much, I'm just so filled with these fucking hormones. 62 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:44,000 Okay, okay, okay. 63 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,000 Thank you. 64 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000 Thank you. 65 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:53,000 I love you. 66 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:58,000 I love you. I love you. 67 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:15,000 I love you so much. 68 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:24,000 This is good. This is good. Hugs. Hugs are always good. 69 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:35,000 You know I like hearing your heartbeat so it's helping. 70 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:40,000 I love you. 71 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:46,000 I love you too. 72 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:50,000 No, no, no. 73 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000 I love you more. 74 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000 I'm pregnant, you have to let you have to give this to me. 75 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,000 I love you more. 76 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:01,000 Not by much, hopefully, but I, I do. 77 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:06,000 I love you enough to start a family with you. 78 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:12,000 So, uh, 79 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:30,000 we are tied then. 80 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:36,000 You're the only person I'd want to do this with, you know. 81 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,000 No, wait, I take that back. 82 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,000 Glenn from The Walking Dead. 83 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:48,000 I would, I would have a baby with Glenn from The Walking Dead. 84 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,000 Because I like his hat. 85 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaking of, and I mean this, this is very serious. 86 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:02,000 You are absolutely not allowed to get your head bashed in now. 87 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,000 Just like a thousand percent, it's not okay. 88 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,000 Before, they would have bought me out, sure, yeah, definitely. 89 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:14,000 But like, now, it's just, it's completely irresponsible. 90 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:22,000 So no head bashings, car crashes, no draft notices, cancer, none of it. 91 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:27,000 No other method of removal from our lives that may come a calling. 92 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,000 I'm like forbidding it, baby. 93 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:35,000 Grim Reaper, he makes a whip sound at you like a fucking douche, and you tell him, 94 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:42,000 okay, you tell him that you have pinky sworn to your favorite gal, that's me, 95 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,000 that you'd be home for dinner. 96 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:56,000 That's what he tells, depending on what pops out of me. 97 00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:00,000 I am starving, by the way. 98 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:05,000 I know, I've just been hungry for weeks. 99 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:12,000 That should have made it obvious, right? 100 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:20,000 I have to make a doctor's visit, but I think I'm about seven weeks, 101 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:27,000 so almost two months of ravenous hunger and just general tiredness. 102 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000 I am so tired. 103 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,000 I feel like I can never get enough sleep. 104 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:40,000 But Google says that's only supposed to happen for the first trimester. 105 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,000 Yeah, well, we could cook. 106 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:52,000 Or, I mean, well, you could, because I have to save my strength. 107 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:57,000 Well, it's been an eventful day. 108 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:08,000 How about we just order in so both of us can conserve what energy we have left 109 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:16,000 for something a bit more fun? 110 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,000 I don't know. 111 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:25,000 Netflix, games. 112 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:29,000 We could come up with a way to tell our parents. 113 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000 I mean, maybe wait a little bit for that, 114 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:41,000 but man, mine are going to be making dolphin noises. 115 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:46,000 Or we could just, you know, like make out because we're overwhelmed 116 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:52,000 and you've made my hormones break dance like three different times already. 117 00:15:52,000 --> 00:16:04,000 I mean, I'm up for a combo of any of the mentioned activities. 118 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000 Oh, good. 119 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:12,000 Sounds like a plan. 120 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,000 I love you, baby. 121 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:26,000 Thank you for doing this with me. 122 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,000 Hey, do you think if I write Ben and Jerry's enough times 123 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:35,000 that I can convince them to put my flavor in their catalog? 124 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000 It is a good idea. 125 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000 Thank you. 126 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:44,000 I am just, I'm ripe with genius is what it is. 127 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,000 Oh, that's the best part. 128 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000 Okay, fine. 129 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,000 Well, they can use the coffee and chips part for the mass marketing 130 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:57,000 and I'll swirl in the curry myself. 131 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:02,000 Oh, I forgot. 132 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Yeah, there was something earlier that I was going to say I forgot 133 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:16,000 and it's really important. 134 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,000 I don't care what anyone says. 135 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:26,000 We are not going to be those parents that put on Frozen more than once a week. 136 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000 Okay. 137 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000 My spirit can't handle it. 138 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:34,000 In fact, can we just not introduce it at all, like at least until they 139 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,000 until they inevitably watch it on a play date because God damn, 140 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000 the day that little fucker comes home, 141 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:46,000 singing Let It Go is the day that we start family therapy as a preemptive measure. 142 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000 Okay. 143 00:17:48,000 --> 00:18:01,000 Can we, can we please agree on that? 144 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:07,000 Thank God. 145 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:15,000 Yes, I am very excited. 146 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,000 I'm just looking forward to everything. 147 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Well, almost everything. 148 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:25,000 Apparently, the first time a baby shits, it's just like black tar 149 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:32,000 and it stains and I, you know, but 150 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,000 I mean, I know that this isn't what we planned. 151 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:41,000 It's definitely not what I planned. 152 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:55,000 But it is what I've wanted. 153 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,000 Okay. 154 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,000 Which one of us is going to be the one to change that first diaper? 155 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:11,000 One, two, three, not it.