1
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000
Hey.

2
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,000
Are you okay if I sit?

3
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,000
I'm sorry I stormed out like that.

4
00:00:51,000 --> 00:01:09,000
You know, I lashed out and started to raise my voice and I know that we really try to avoid that.

5
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:21,000
I got frustrated and I needed some space to cool down because I don't want to yell at you.

6
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:26,000
So I'm sorry that I did.

7
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:42,000
It was, it was not okay. Are you okay?

8
00:01:42,000 --> 00:02:06,000
I mean, it's fine if you're still mad, obviously. Should we, is this a good time to talk about it or do you need more time?

9
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:21,000
Okay. Do you mind if I, if I go first?

10
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:50,000
So, the reason why I got so upset was because I, I, okay, I know we've both been working really hard lately

11
00:02:50,000 --> 00:03:08,000
and so it's, it's been tough getting quality time together and I've, I mean, I've been going for that promotion obviously

12
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:21,000
and I was, I was looking forward to relaxing and going on an actual date.

13
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:35,000
I mean, I'm just generally exhausted and restless at the same time just because I feel like if I'm not moving then I'm not getting anything done.

14
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:51,000
But I'm so tired. I just wanted to chill and do something fun, like go out somewhere and get dressed up, obviously.

15
00:03:51,000 --> 00:04:10,000
Because, you know, it's been a while and I just, I miss doing things with you apart from eating on the couch together after work, you know, and then we both are just exhausted and can barely manage the dishes and go to bed straight away.

16
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:39,000
And I, we had this date all set and I was just, I, I was pumped for it, you know, and, and this morning you just seemed like, you know,

17
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:48,000
you just seemed uninterested, which, look, I'm not, I, I get it because you got called in and that sucks.

18
00:04:48,000 --> 00:05:03,000
No one likes that, but you ended up letting them keep you later than you said you would and I know that sometimes you just can't do anything about that.

19
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:12,000
It's your job, you have an obligation and, but it just, it, you know, it added up.

20
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:35,000
And, and I, I asked you later in the day, like, hey, this is kind of taking a while, like I, I, I would, I would like to know, you know, should, should we just do a rain check on this?

21
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:54,000
Like, I'm, I, I would, I would rather know now if, if I should just spend the day, you know, relaxing, like put on my PJs and just sprawl out and just, you know, laze about.

22
00:05:54,000 --> 00:06:11,000
I didn't, I, I don't want to, like, wait around all day waiting for something and we're just wasting more and more of that time that we had previously allotted for, you know, various things.

23
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:16,000
And you

24
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:32,000
just said, no, no, no, I'll be home. So I just, I, I said, okay, well, I'll take his word for it. So I got dressed and I was just waiting.

25
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:46,000
And then you stop answering my calls. And I know, I know your phone died. I'm not blaming you for that. It just, again, it was just something that, like, was just built on all the other stuff.

26
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:56,000
And, and, you know, a lot of that stuff isn't your fault. It's just my recent overload and I,

27
00:06:56,000 --> 00:07:10,000
I mean, you do need another charger, but I was, I was, I was snappy with you when you came in, which I'm obviously that made you snappy.

28
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:33,000
You know, you just walk in and I'm just nagging and pissy and, and I could tell you were tired. You were just, you had so little energy at that point. And it was obvious that you were not really wanting to do anything anymore.

29
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:47,000
You were just still dressed up. And I, I just, I could tell you were, you know, if we did anything, you would be like forcing yourself through it.

30
00:07:47,000 --> 00:08:12,000
And I just got, it just has upset me because, you know, I had been waiting for three weeks for this and I was just, you know, I had my makeup on, I had done my hair and I, I already, I,

31
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:25,000
it made me feel like I was just wasting time. You know, like I was, I wasn't worth setting time aside for.

32
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:33,000
And I know, again, I know that sometimes you just have to go in, you just have to do what the boss says.

33
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:43,000
And I know that you were zapped and I completely understand that. I mean, we had planned this to be on a free day so that we could just focus on each other.

34
00:08:43,000 --> 00:09:10,000
But I just, I was just pushed to the side, you know, all day. And then you came back late and exhausted and stressed. And it, it just felt like you, like you weren't putting in the effort.

35
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:18,000
That I thought that you should.

36
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:27,000
Or that you could and.

37
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,000
I'm sorry, baby.

38
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,000
What did I say?

39
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:42,000
Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. Can you, you know, just tell me what's wrong, okay?

40
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:47,000
Do you just not want to say or do you not want me to know?

41
00:09:47,000 --> 00:10:00,000
Because I want to know, okay? I want to know what I just, what clearly triggered this. Hey, give me your hand, okay? It's okay.

42
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:08,000
We can work this out.

43
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:18,000
No, no, don't, don't be dumb, okay? You know, you can cry in front of me. It's okay.

44
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:39,000
Don't be embarrassed, baby. Don't apologize. You can tell me.

45
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:50,000
Baby, come here. It's okay. Let's curl up here.

46
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:57,000
Just going to rub your back, okay?

47
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:04,000
What do you mean you're afraid of that?

48
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:14,000
I don't even really remember what I, what I said. What do you mean?

49
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:18,000
Hmm.

50
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:25,000
I don't think so, honey.

51
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:42,000
Yeah, no, I know, I know. I, I said that, but I meant for today. I thought you weren't putting in the effort today. Not that you usually don't. I mean, Jesus, I know you work hard.

52
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:58,000
Okay, I know you put in a lot of effort, and I've honestly been really impressed with how on top of things you've been recently, but I don't expect that all the time.

53
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:27,000
We're for everything, and baby, if it's stressing you out this bad, then it's okay to take a breather. I don't want you running yourself into the ground. That's no good.

54
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:35,000
You don't need to feel insecure about that.

55
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:58,000
Okay, I mean, I know you're, I can't make you feel any particular way, but I, you should know that just because I am going for a promotion doesn't, it doesn't mean that you need to match me, you know?

56
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:06,000
You don't need to meet me at every milestone. Our lives are not, we're not the same person.

57
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:25,000
I'm not going to leave you behind just because I have accomplished something that you haven't or that you're currently, you know, I, I don't sit here and compare us like that.

58
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:41,000
What's important to me, what's important to me, is that we continue to grow, okay? Is that we grow alongside each other. That doesn't mean that all our check marks have to match.

59
00:13:41,000 --> 00:14:06,000
I mean, fuck, otherwise we would have never gotten together in the first place, because when we met, I mean, you were doing leagues better than I was, and you took pity on me, and now we're just, we're more evened out, you know?

60
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:16,000
But that's, that's only achievement wise. I've matured since then, and I can tell that you have too.

61
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:25,000
If you were the same now as when we first met, we would not have lasted this long.

62
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:46,000
And I know you would have dumped me. We have just met each other, at the very least at every other step. We're in a three legged race here, but it's,

63
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:56,000
we're doing what we're supposed to do, you know? We're still making good progress.

64
00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:07,000
And you put in a lot of effort to get where you are now as a person.

65
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:25,000
And I, maybe I think about that all the time. Sometimes I'm just, I'm blown away with how much I love you.

66
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:42,000
You were just my person, and I choose you every day. I, I look at you and I go, that's, that's what I want.

67
00:15:42,000 --> 00:16:07,000
That is the asshole of my choosing. And, God, I am just so proud of you. Do you know that?

68
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:28,000
Maybe I don't say it enough. I try to show it, but I should probably just outright say it more, because I am just so, so proud of you all the time.

69
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:49,000
Every day. Even when you get on my nerves, you know? You can't help it. I just, oh.

70
00:16:49,000 --> 00:17:01,000
You know, you do the work to make me feel that way. Even if you aren't necessarily doing it for me or our relationship.

71
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:23,000
Just, you improve yourself. Even in little ways, you know? And that's hard. It's hard. And it's, it's very admirable.

72
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:32,000
I mean, obviously, some of it just comes naturally with age and experience, so you can't take credit for that. Actually, wait, no.

73
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:41,000
I take that back. Yes, you can. Because some people, they just stagnate. They, they hit 14 years old and they never get any older than that.

74
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Like, my fucking step-cousin. I, ooh. No, sorry. I'm not getting started on that. She and her asshole show dogs are keeping out of those conversations. I can save that for another time. Anyway.

75
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:15,000
I am not expecting you to keep up with every goal, you know? I hope that you wouldn't expect the same from me, because there's some shit that you're on sometimes where I'm like, I can't, that's too much.

76
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:33,000
It's impressive. But like, Jesus. And what I, what I need from you, more than anything, is just to be here.

77
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:53,000
I want, you know, support. And I want to support. That's, that's what I felt was lacking earlier. And I, I know that's also hypocritical of me, because I've been practically absent lately.

78
00:18:53,000 --> 00:19:06,000
So, expecting you to operate on my watch versus, you know, a shared clock, that isn't fair. And I know that that's something I have to work on. And I'm sorry.

79
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:24,000
And I understand now why you've been working those grueling hours lately. And I, I appreciate the dedication, baby. I really do. But I want you to know it's not necessary, you know?

80
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:39,000
I'm not disappointed in you as a person or us as a couple if you are not matching me every step of the way.

81
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:49,000
I want a partner, you know, not a clone. God, I could not, I could not date myself.

82
00:19:49,000 --> 00:20:00,000
So, you know, it's one thing. If our situation ends up calling for it, then that's different. And we'll have that discussion if and when we get there.

83
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:22,000
I do appreciate it. And I know, I know you're doing your best. You are already doing all that I could ask. You are such a good boyfriend.

84
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:36,000
In our off days, you're just, you're ultimately so good. And I am constantly seeing that.

85
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:41,000
Can I keep holding you?

86
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:48,000
Thanks, baby.

87
00:20:48,000 --> 00:21:00,000
And you can cry if you want. I know that you don't really like doing it, but it's good to just get it out. I want you to be comfortable, you know?

88
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:08,000
And it's definitely not embarrassing.

89
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:16,000
I was, I was waiting to tell you this on our date.

90
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:25,000
But oh, buddy boy, I ate shit on the escalator today.

91
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:42,000
Like, oh, it was bad. Like if some kid managed to film it and put it on TikTok, I could only applaud them. I don't know. I mean, I feel like I would have to buy them lunch, and I would want the raw file.

92
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:57,000
Okay, so well, you were gone, and I was just trying to pass the time, so I went out to go do like a couple errands.

93
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:13,000
So, okay, so I was trying to go up the down escalator, first of all, well, because the other one was out, and I was, I was too lazy to walk the distance to the stairs. It's like a full 30 feet.

94
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:38,000
So I, no, no, no, no one was on it. I'm not, I'm not an asshole. I'm just a fucking idiot. So anyway, I'm frantically dashing up the escalator, you know, because you have to, when suddenly the toe of my shoe catches on my other goddamn ankle, and I trip, right?

95
00:22:38,000 --> 00:23:05,000
I fall, I land hard on the stairs, scuff up my hands, I make some horrible wheezing wail as I take the impact. And, you know, because of physics and gravity, my dress in the chaos of it all flips up and goes all the way up my back.

96
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:14,000
I am ass out, buddy. I am mooning everybody. Well, I mean, I would have if I hadn't been wearing the thong that I picked out for today.

97
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:41,000
But there I was, sprawled out like a sexy dead dog, blasting my globes. They're gleaming under the fluorescence, and I'm freaking out because I'm afraid my hair's gonna get caught in the escalator and crush me up like raspberry preserves. And at this point, I'm heading down, obviously, and someone at the bottom starts to ask if I'm okay. I cut them off by gasping like a bagpipe, and I shoot my head up, hurt my neck.

98
00:23:41,000 --> 00:24:10,000
Oh, yeah, no, it was really good. So anyway, I don't I don't think tears reach nearly the same level of shame. Not that it's a competition. I know. I know. I'm so sorry. I was waiting to tell you under the stars. That's okay. I'll humiliate myself again for next time.

99
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:19,000
Or maybe you should. Right, since I did it this time.

100
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:48,000
Oh, I like that. That's good. It'll be like swapping war stories.

101
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Will you marry me?

102
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Sorry, that just came out.

103
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Oh, no. No, sorry. Not that. I meant, I had. I had. Oh, God, I had planned to make it more special. It was going to be like officially romantic. I will happily do it again. And you don't even have to give an answer right now. You can absolutely you can wait for the more polished version.

104
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:30,000
But

105
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,000
Yeah.

106
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:37,000
I want to marry you.

107
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:42,000
The plan for a long time.

108
00:25:42,000 --> 00:26:01,000
I know we've lightly discussed it. I'm, I'm fine having deeper conversations before any agreements are made. I just

109
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:13,000
I love you so deeply.

110
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:19,000
We just we mesh so well. I mean, it's like I said,

111
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:32,000
you're my you're my person. And I mean, we've been living together for.

112
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
Look,

113
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:51,000
I'm not saying this expecting much to change, you know, other than I get to call you my husband.

114
00:26:51,000 --> 00:27:02,000
You're still you.

115
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Can I kiss you?

116
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:48,000
Yes.

117
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:56,000
Thank you.

118
00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Oh, God, I feel like such a dick.

119
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Because I had this whole thing planned. I wasn't like it was still mostly conceptual, but like some of it.

120
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:14,000
Can I still do it? Can I still hit you with it? Please.

121
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:22,000
Well, I'm not going to tell you when it's a surprise. It has to be a surprise.

122
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:29,000
Wait, I did you want to be the one proposing

123
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,000
because we can do both.

124
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:39,000
I am perfectly happy to give and receive.

125
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:48,000
Wait, is that why you're marrying me?

126
00:28:48,000 --> 00:29:10,000
Marry me.