Wait, can you, while we're at it, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you,
can you, can you, over, over, over, over, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you,
can you, can you, can you, can you, you, over, over, over.
Over, over, over over, over, over over over, over, no moreu.
I mean, you can keep trying but yeah.
Just...
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Do you want to be on top?
Yeah, I can, I can try.
Here.
Just...
Okay.
Oh, did you, wait, was that you or me?
I...
Do you ever feel like whenever we have sex, we just sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies?
Yeah.
Yeah, um, actually yeah, I'm good with toys, uh, oh, right, they're all the way over there.
I mean, I don't really need one, do you want them?
Or you or for me?
Oh, well yeah, like I said, I'm fine with that.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Oh, no, don't.
Don't look.
Don't look.
It's just gonna...
Oh, f***, god damn it.
Sorry.
Okay.
You know what, just...
Mm.
Mm.
Oh my god.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh my god, I'm sorry. I just, uh, yeah, I'm just, I'm so tired. Yeah? Okay, well, I mean,
I picked up on that, but I'm glad to know it wasn't just the contagion of... Oh my god,
oh my god, it's been a long day. Honestly, um, I, I, I want to...
want to do it, but I just, I just also really don't want to have to deal with cleanup,
and I don't know, I don't think I could really get to a satisfying conclusion. I, yeah.
Do you want to just go to bed?
I know, I know. Well, I'm gonna make up for it. I just... Dude, I can't tonight. I don't,
I don't think we'd accomplish anything. I think, I think you would fall asleep on top of me, honestly.
Mm-mm. You would get on top at some point because I don't have the energy to stay in this position.
Oh, this is the sexiest thing you've said all night. Okay, scooch over.
Okay. Oh my god.
It's using me just to flake.
I hope you're not insulted when I say that this is so much better than what we had planned.
You can agree, I'm not offended, right? I would chat more, but I'm fading really fast.
Mm-hmm. Good night.
Okay, one more thing. I love you.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, when are they gonna create a slur for woodpeckers?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, good morning. Like a rock.
And you. Hell yeah. This is cozy.
Okay. Beak bitch, outside aside. This is a great way to wake up.
I always think it. I always think, who is this absolute stunner in my bed?
They got lost. And then your morning breath hits me and I remember, oh, that's right.
It's actually not that bad this morning.
I don't know. Maybe it's your new diet. What about mine?
I'm on the diet too. You know, what would have made it nicer though,
is if we had put on our pajamas instead of just falling asleep and probably not the most comfortable
outfits. I mean, I've had better. Give me. You, give me you. You're like a big giant teddy bear.
It's fully articulated with teeth, which makes it a little creepy, but I've always liked cryptids,
so it works out. You smell good. I had a dream. I know, I know. I'll make it quick. I had a dream
that we bought an old Victorian and it was unbelievably picturesque on the outside.
I was so excited, but the inside was completely modernized with a basketball court in the bedroom,
which I feel like I watched something recently that inspired that, but no, it was the previous
owners. They like had left all their stuff and it, oh my God, thank you for asking. You know me so
well. As a matter of fact, the lighting came exclusively in the form of those color changing
led strips. Every single room, every single room. And I hated it. I'm surprised I didn't wake up.
I was so angry. It was awful. It was a nightmare. And my dream logic was like,
because the previous owners put in the effort to acquire its legal, historical status,
we weren't allowed to change anything about it. So we just had to live in it.
Live in it. I remember looking at you and going, where's the crown molding? And you were like,
oh, they kept it. It's in the attic. It's just like sitting around up there detached. But again,
we can't do anything about it. Like if we did something with that, I think you suggested that
we like glued it back, like hot glued it back so that we could easily take it off if we ever
decided to resell it or like if inspectors came by or something. Oh, it made me so upset.
But there was one positive. And that was that they had installed heated floors, which
I now realize was probably due to this entanglement we've got going. No, no, stop,
no, stop. You're warm. You're warm. Lift, lift your leg. Okay. No clothes. That's the good shit.
Okay. How is it? How's the handful? Excellent. A man who knows his ass.
A good vintage. A true connoisseur. It kind of hurt my feelings a little bit.
I'm so glad you appreciate. We aged them naturally in the cellar.
You know them, multiple.
Oh, it's kind of like the crown molding. I just attach them
and leave them where they where they need to spend their time. Then I pop new ones on
and like like Bratz feet. I miss Bratz. Hey, I have a very important question.
It's important enough that it'll dictate the future of our relationship.
Answer me honestly. Okay. Would you still love me if I had a Hank Hill ass
and the shoulders of Dwayne Johnson? Dwayne the Rock Johnson. I'm sorry. You're right.
Would you? I'd help you move furniture. I wouldn't even chart you. I'd I would carry you everywhere
like a princess. You know, they just open the drive-through window. It's me
flopping around on roller skates, holding you at chip reader height. I think that's very romantic.
And you have to hold the McFlurry so because my hands are pretty full.
You gotta earn your keep some happy boy.
Okay. Maybe you want to brainstorm some ways.
You could start by finally helping me out of this dress.
That's better. Looks like you think so too. That's so flattering.
Let me get these.
You know I appreciate a button up.
I'm a little cliché like that. You looked so handsome with it last night. So handsome now.
You chased me enough with it yesterday.
No. The best thing is just running my hands over you.
You're so cute. I was sensing a fury.
Something I love about you.
Maybe I ought to try waking you up like this.
Or something a little bit different. You did like it.
What do you think? It's a proper alarm clock, isn't it?
I could start out gentle so you wouldn't be woken up too fast.
Just start under here. Don't worry. Really slow. Just enough pressure.
And then I got to the tip. Just one more kiss.
I'm neglecting something, aren't I?
I'm only going to cup them right now. It's early.
I might run my fingers, but I don't want to.
You think you're ready to fully wake up?
Are you ready to face the day?
You can grab my hair. Gently.
Be careful. I might start hitting snooze.
You ready? Can you control yourself?
I love doing this.
Thank you for letting me.
Yes, sir.
Well, yeah. You like it? I forgot I was still wearing it.
It's pretty indicative, isn't it?
I promise to let you run my makeup properly soon. We can make a day out of it.
Yeah. You're so chivalrous.
You always say that. I'm always afraid that I'll suffocate you.
Can I keep it up on this end?
You insist.
Are you okay? You got it? You got it?
Okay.
Yes, please, daddy.
Can you breathe?
Can you breathe? Good. Okay.
I'm going to grind down on you, okay?
Eat it just like that.
Thank you, daddy.
Sorry. I can't concentrate.
Let me get started again. Hold on. Let me find the pace.
Does my hand feel good? Yeah? Both of them?
I wanted to fuck you at the restaurant last night. You know that, don't you?
I could have just kept my hands busy under the table, and no one would know.
Provided you kept your composure. But that's too crass, isn't it?
More respectful of our surroundings. And it was a nice restaurant, don't I be rude?
Definitely. They don't want to make a mess.
You looked gorgeous, baby.
Just like that. Eat that pussy.
Yes, please.
I can't. I can't hold it.
Try. I'll try. Are you close?
Please come. Please come.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
Motherfucker. Stop. No.
It's your turn.
Come. Give me a hug. Daddy, I want to drink it.
Please. All the way down my throat. I love you.
I love you. Good job.
I love you.
Come here.
Well, good morning.
It looks like I was on top after all. You get that.
I'd be opposed to waking up to it soon. Just saying. You have my permission.
Let me know when you want me to return the favor.
We need to shower. Man, breakfast apparently.
Oh, oh, it just hit me. Can we?
I'm really craving that French toast from the Cozy Cafe.
Okay. Oh, wait, fuck. Do you think we can still make it? Hold on. What time is it?
We've got like an hour before they stop serving it. I think memory serves.
Okay, hop to it. We can definitely make it in time if we don't take too long in this shower.