Hello? Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Should I? Okay. No? Okay. All right. Um, wear your
pants. Okay. Just chillin'. All right. Just chillin' with your little lady friend
comin' over. You're a little... I mean, I'm not... I just wasn't expecting it is all.
They are just... they're just not... I just... No, it's fine. I don't care. I honestly
don't care, man. I don't care. They're basically shorts. They're a little tight,
but we can work around that. Just... just was not expecting it. Where are your
pants? They're at the foot of your bed. All right. That's fine. That's super cool. Okay.
Am I supposed to take mine off, too? Also, I don't want to do that. It's cold in here,
and actually... Can you turn your heat up just a little bit? I know you have that
psychotic penguin energy all the time, but I hate it. And you never have enough
blankets. Just a little bit. Just like a couple degrees. Okay. Thank you. Oh, I have...
I have chips, and I got... Look, it's like... it's like... I don't actually know what it is.
It's... I can't tell if it is just like a pumpkin spice flavored seltzer, or if it
is like a syrup that is meant to be mixed in drinks, because it says both on
the bottle, and half of it is in like... I don't even know what... like, Ukrainian? I
don't know. So, I figure we could give that a chug and find out for
ourselves to do like a little science experiment, if you're down with that.
Okay. Neat. Oh, also, I just brought... here. It's a little... it's, you know, one of those
like hot cocoa mug things. Yeah. I put... but yours has Venezuelan cocoa powder,
because I thought that would be fancy. I've had it once before, and it was fine.
But yours also has multicolored marshmallows. You're very welcome.
All right. So, I know that we were planning on doing horrors, but would you
be down with a Barbie movie? No, they're actually good! They're actually good! I
promise they're fun! They're a good fucking time! They're self-aware! Um, just...
Ugh! All right. That's on the back burner, though. I'm putting... I'm adding it to the
list. I want you to know... just, no, I'm just... I'll text it to you as a reminder,
and I'll put it in the calendar. We'll find a day. I want you to watch Princess
and the Popper. I only watched it, like, last week for the first time, and it's
true what they say. It's a fucking jamboree, and I want all the dresses in it!
It's funny! It's fun! Anyway, um, so... what? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Hold on, hold on! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me get a close look. Hold on,
hold on, hold on! Bring your little butt! Are those bees? Do you have bee boxes? Oh my god! I love those! I didn't see what was on them before!
Oh my god! Wait, why do you have... you don't care about... did you get these in, like, a pack? You just don't care about, like, bees! I care about bees!
Did I turn you on to bees? That's really sweet! Oh my god! I do! I love bees! They're so sweet! My favorite is the bumble, as you're well aware,
because they're fat. They're just, like, round, fuzzy little friends. These are
honeybees, but they're also good. They're hard workers. Where would we be without
them? Where would we be? I want some! Can I borrow these sometime? I know they're not
gonna fit. In my butt, they may fit. They're not gonna fit anywhere else.
Actually, you know what? They might be too small for me. I don't know. It'll have a very loose crotch.
But actually, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna... hold on. I'm gonna go on, like,
Wish or Amazon. Hold on. Let me try and find some, because I want some. You can
pick a movie while I look for these. Hold on. Oh yeah, Hulu's fine. Okay! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
They came up, like, right away. Okay, hold on. Okay, which one is better? No, just
between these two, because the other one is too busy. I know that's ironic. Anyway,
yeah. It's fine. I don't care if you see the underwear that I'm not even wearing.
Why would that bother me? Just pick one. They're cute, and I want to be cute in my
little... I'm trying to say britches. Are britches pants? Are they
underwear? Are they both? Wait, pants in England are underwear, right?
Righty-o? Oh, you know what? I know you chose that one. I'm actually gonna go
with the other one. It's not- I like that pattern, but boy shorts don't look good
on me. Yeah, so I'm just gonna go with the little bikini briefs. That's gonna be
so cute! Oh, this one just has a full bee on the fanny. The British fanny, sorry. The
the vishnanya. And I'm not- there's not enough. Maybe if there was like a little
circlet of bees that went around the waistband, that'd be cute too. But just
just a bumble on the snatch, actually. I could be talked into buying that. What do
you think? Well, it's not- I wouldn't be against showing it off. Like, we could
have a- like an underwear party or something. I don't know. I need to show
them off to someone. Okay. Yeah, that would- okay. Nice. Oh, now I want to have an
underwear party now. Um, this bra is terrible though. It's got like a big hole
in it the size of a quarter. Not in a good place. Yeah, I will get these shipped
in from China, looks like, so who knows how long that'll take. And then we can
have a little pantaloon party. I mean, if you want to invite other people, that's
fine. I thought it would be a fun intimate thing for the two of us. No, you
can- you can invite other people. Just- oh god, not Ben though. Don't not Ben. I
refuse. Because that guy is just- doesn't- uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. You can't invite
Lindsay either. No. No Lindsay and no Ben. Because Lindsay- Lindsay is gonna knock
everybody's socks off, alright? Their heads are gonna be blown straight off and I
don't want to have to look at that. It's gonna make me cry? And I don't want to be
the girl crying in the corner in her underwear. As cute as that underwear will
be. And it will be very, very cute. Actually, really, I'm taking that print.
Because- oh my god, you have eyes. I'm not- I'm not- I'm not fishing for
compliments, but Lindsay is like a smoke show. I don't think she has a roll of fat
on her body. And she's got- I- somehow, at the same time, I mean, monstrous knockers
and they're perky. And absolutely not. Am I gonna be sitting side-by-side with that-
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it to myself. My therapist would advise against
it. If you invite Lindsay, then I'll invite Paul. Yeah. He's a beefcake. He is
actually- he's- okay, so he's too much of a beefcake for me, but he'll still- he'll-
he'll- he makes- I don't know what it is. He has that weird thing where, like, I
don't really know many girls that like guys like that, but anytime a man is
around him, his self-esteem just, like, shoots through the floor. Ends up shaking
hands with Cerberus because he's just so fucking jacked. It's a- honestly, it's a bit
much. Y'all shouldn't feel insecure about that. It's- it's- it's a lot of muscle. He's
a very packed individual. It's- it's intimidating. It looks like he's gonna
kill me in a way that I would not be, like, wouldn't want to happen on my
birthday. You know what I mean? Like, it wouldn't be a special treat. It would
just be a horror movie. By the way, pick a horror movie. That's stupid, though. Lindsay-
Lindsay looks, like, awesome. It's not the same way that Paul looks however he looks, like a
Minotaur. It's the Lindsay looks awesome in, like, a, you know, like, Victoria's
Secret kind of way. Oh. Well. Thank you. I wasn't- I wasn't going for that. I'm not
trying to, like, again, I'm not fishing for compliments or anything, but thank you. That's
nice. I try. I've been doing squats. I hurt my knee the other day. Going
downstairs is way worse than going up. It's weird after you work out.
Well. Yeah. No. That's- I- I just- I- I wasn't really intending to, like, beat myself up so
much. I just, you know, she's- I mean, I've- I have multiple friends like that, and when
you hang out with them, it's very- you- you just- you kind of see, like, what guys like and what
gets ignored vastly by comparison, so. It's not- it's not, like, a knock against her. It is a
little bit, because fuck that bitch. What right does she have? But it- it's, you know. I'm-
sorry. I didn't mean to make this about me and my insecurities. That's an away. I'm sorry.
Thank you.
That's- no, that's, um. It is- it's really nice to hear, because I honestly-
I kind of- I don't know. I never got the feeling that you thought I was, like, anything to look at.
I don't know. You just- you- you- you made me feel like, you know. No, I- I'm not- I'm not-
I'm not- this isn't accusatory of anything wrong that you did. I just didn't, um. I didn't know that
you, like, even looked at me as, like, a lady, so. It's nice. Thanks.
Um. Yeah, no. I- I did- I- I, um- I think of you as, like, a friend, but, um, not- not, like,
a to- like, I don't think of you as some, like, like, asexual cherub or anything. Well, I-
No, dude, that's not- I- I don't know anybody who- you're just- you're- I don't- I'm not trying
to make this awkward, but you're- you're really- you're really handsome. I've always thought you
were really handsome. I mean, who- my friends think you're handsome. Your mom thinks that you
are just the sweetest, cutest boy. I'm just saying that I- I didn't- I didn't know that you
thought that I didn't consider you, like, a guy because I do. Um. I think that's fine.
We can still- No, you can stay- stay in your boxers. We can still have, um, an underwear party
just because, like, I think that you're good-looking and you think that I'm good-looking.
If anything, now I kind of want to show off.
Um, yeah.
Okay. Um, since, like, I met you, but especially since we went to the lake that one time.
You have a nice bag, I don't know what to say.
Okay. Um. I'm just gonna, uh.
Um. Is that weird? No? Okay. Um. I don't wanna- I don't wanna make it weird or lose
the comfort that we have. If you don't think that it will, then I don't think that it will.
Um. Um. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is this, like, a thing? Like,
like, what do you want out of this? Because if you just want to kiss, then I don't think we should
do it. I just don't think, um. I don't think it would be smart for me if we just- if we just-
Because I know it would make me really confused. And it would- I don't- I'm not trying to be,
like, pushy, but I feel like we need to set a boundary right now. So, um. I don't wanna kiss you, but I don't, um.
I don't want it to be, like, a one-time thing. I don't want it to be
a thing that we only do, like, on occasion. I don't- I'm- I wanna know what we could-
Really? Are you sure?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Um. Like, it's kind of all hitting me, because, like,
I didn't think this would ever be an option, so.
No, I'm, like, really- I'm, like, jazzed about it.
Okay. So, what would you movie do if you wanna make out? Um.
Both? Can we do both? I mean, I'm fine just making out, but
also I- I'm really in the mood for a movie. And then I can pretend to be scared, and you can,
like, pretend to comfort me. Or vice versa. I don't mind holding your hand. It's okay.
Okay. Okay. Um. Did you pick anything?
Um. Oh no, not the none.