1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,600 No, I still don't have service. 2 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:21,040 Are you sure your phone is, like, dead-dead, because maybe- okay, okay, okay, okay. 3 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,040 I'm sorry. 4 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,600 I swear I had the key when we left. 5 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:31,480 No, I did- I had to, because I was the one that locked the door. 6 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:38,280 But I didn't check- are you sure you don't want to walk back to the diner? 7 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:44,720 I mean, because that's probably where it is, and we'd only have to hike, um, ugh. 8 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,120 I mean, that is, like, an hour round trip, but you know what? 9 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,560 I don't mind- like, I'll do it. 10 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,360 I really don't mind doing it alone. 11 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:55,840 It's my fault, and if you want to stay here, or if you want to go down to that Starbucks 12 00:00:55,840 --> 00:01:01,080 and wait and warm up, it's okay. 13 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:10,080 I mean, look, it was my bad, and I have a flashlight on my phone, so- ugh, yeah, but 14 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:17,080 you have a good point. 15 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:25,120 I'm not really sure when the others are getting back, because, I mean, Chessie has the other 16 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:29,280 key, but she said they were going to go ski a little more after they were done shopping, 17 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:36,360 I think, so- I mean, do you want to- we can just head to that Starbucks and just dick 18 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,360 around. 19 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:42,520 I mean, honestly, it might just be really nice, you know, we can cozy up. 20 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:46,920 It's a fancy Starbucks, so they've got a fireplace, and I'll buy, obviously. 21 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:55,960 It's the least I could do, but, you know, I think it could just be a good time. 22 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,880 We can go over the pictures. 23 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,760 Yeah. 24 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:06,160 And yeah, that's smart, because if anyone has service, it's them. 25 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:10,360 Okay, alright. 26 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:25,280 Whew, it is very cold, huh, why did we only bring one car? 27 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:33,000 Yeah, well, I mean, but at least we're relatively close by, you know, it's not that far of 28 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000 a walk. 29 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,480 I am honestly really excited to try their new stuff. 30 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:44,720 I heard they have a pistachio latte, and if that's true, mama's going vinty. 31 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:53,040 What was the flavor that you wanted to try? 32 00:02:53,040 --> 00:03:04,520 Oh, really, I- wait, no, I could have sworn that you- okay, well, I mean, if you find 33 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:09,120 something, you can get whatever you want, you know, and you can get any size, it is 34 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:16,960 totally, totally cool, I just, I want you to, you know, melt some of the ice that's 35 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,360 gnawing at your bones right now. 36 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:31,120 So, you know, this is a perfect opportunity to buy you one of their nasty cookies, and 37 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:39,120 then you'll, you'll understand, finally, what I mean. 38 00:03:39,120 --> 00:04:00,360 Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I, I, no, no, I'm just, I didn't even think, I didn't even 39 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:06,080 think that I just did it, I'm so, no, no, no, I'm so sorry, I didn't, I just, I, okay, 40 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,520 okay, no, no, I, you're right, you're right, okay, look, look, look, look, I, I just, I 41 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:19,880 was just trying, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 42 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:26,520 You know what? 43 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:42,520 Tell me what's up, what am I talking, don't, don't act stupid, because I know better than 44 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:55,400 most people that you're not, and don't treat me like I am either, please. 45 00:04:55,400 --> 00:05:12,000 Are you seriously going to deny it to my face when I've asked, okay, okay, fine, then I, 46 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:24,400 I'll lay it out for you one issue at a time, okay, and then you can respond to each individually, 47 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:42,320 does that sound alright, okay, are you mad at me, okay, yeah, no, that's right, I lost 48 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:49,360 the key to the lodge, that is a very valid reason to be upset with someone, and I am 49 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:56,040 sorry, okay, that was completely my fault, and I know that you're tired and cold, and 50 00:05:56,040 --> 00:06:03,320 it's getting dark, okay, I know, my fuck up is preventing you from getting back, and that 51 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:18,560 sucks, but were you mad at me before that though, at the diner, no, then why were you 52 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:29,000 being so short with me, don't deny it, because everyone could tell, which was embarrassing 53 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:39,200 by the way, why were you acting that way with me, well you didn't treat them like that, 54 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:46,600 it was just when I would pipe up, you ignored me all throughout dinner, you intentionally 55 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:52,440 changed seats with Jose at breakfast this morning, I assume so that I wasn't next to 56 00:06:52,440 --> 00:07:02,640 you, and yesterday you rolled your eyes so hard at me that I'm surprised you even bothered 57 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:06,760 to do it facing away, I don't even know what that was over, Chessy was the one who told 58 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:13,320 me, but I can't think of anything that I might have said that would inspire a reaction like 59 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:21,800 that, but you obviously would know, so can you tell me, please, at least so that I'll 60 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:40,920 know not to do that around you in the future, you don't remember, okay, look, if you're 61 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:48,280 stressed, that's fine, I'm sorry, I would love to know how I could help you if I can, 62 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:56,680 because I don't want to add to that, especially on your vacation, but you can't take it out 63 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:07,200 on me like this, because it is rude, and I do notice, and it's my vacation too, so I'm 64 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:20,280 sorry if somehow my presence on this trip isn't what you thought it would be, but I 65 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:45,320 am just being my usual self, and I thought you liked that, I thought maybe, maybe this 66 00:08:45,320 --> 00:09:11,640 would be an opportunity to get closer, and I assumed that you thought so too, can I say, 67 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:26,040 can I, I'm just gonna say it, are you intentionally pushing me away, is that what's happening, 68 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:34,080 because I feel like, I don't know what else it would be, you know, can you just tell me 69 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:50,640 then if it's because you don't like me, or because you do, because I want to know if 70 00:09:50,640 --> 00:10:03,520 I've been misinterpreting things, things like the way that we've been extra touchy 71 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:11,560 feely lately, I mean we talk all the time, we're constantly going places one on one, 72 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:16,320 even our hugs are different, we didn't used to hug like that, our friendship didn't used 73 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:30,000 to be this intimate, and I was okay with that, because I thought you didn't want it to be, 74 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:38,520 have I misread everything, because if you tell me that I was wrong, then I'll stop, 75 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:46,320 if you tell me that I was wrong, and that it's been making you uncomfortable, I will 76 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:58,440 stop flirting with you, and I'll stop touching you, and trying to deepen our relationship, 77 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:03,840 that sounds manipulative, but I, you know what I mean, right, and I'll stop texting 78 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:09,360 you if you want, if you think it's becoming too much, I'll give you as wide a breath as 79 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:17,600 I can for the rest of the trip, okay, because I don't want to stifle you, or make you think 80 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:24,440 that I am determining what we should mean to each other, because I can't do that, I 81 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:42,800 don't want to do that, I like you, so, of course I want a relationship to head in a 82 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:50,960 certain direction, but that's not my call, and I'm not the type to try and pressure someone 83 00:11:50,960 --> 00:12:04,480 into liking me back, but I don't know, maybe I'm really full of myself, but I don't think 84 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:12,000 that you feel that way, I don't think you led me on, that's not a good way to put it, 85 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:28,240 I don't think that you acted superficially, okay, but if that is true, then you have to 86 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:38,600 stop trying to push me away, because it's not working, I still like you, I still have 87 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:49,640 feelings for you, but it hurts, dude, it goddamn hurts, and I don't know if the reason is because 88 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:58,440 you don't think that I am enough, or you are not convinced that you are, and I know what 89 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:03,440 that's like, okay, I don't know if this is what you're going through, but I understand 90 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:09,480 the feeling of finding faults in everything that you do, and thinking, well, there's no 91 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:19,960 way that someone would ever want me, you know, truly want me, but hey, guess what, you've 92 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:30,580 tricked me, I'm not staring at you through rose-colored bifocals going, ooh, I love the 93 00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:36,760 idea of this asshole, I know you're an asshole, and I know in precisely what ways, because 94 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:41,960 I've seen you on your shit days, and even shitty weeks, and believe it or not, I can 95 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:46,960 handle it, okay, I even enjoy some of the ways that you suck, and you're going to suck 96 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:59,040 no matter what, because you're only human, but this, you have to let me know if this 97 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:11,800 is something that you want me to pursue, like, like, do you just need more time, or is it 98 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:21,200 a dead end, you know, because for one reason or another, you're not as into me as I thought, 99 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:30,680 or as you thought, look, okay, you can think it over, okay, you should, I know that this, 100 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:38,800 this isn't something to rush, it's clearly a big deal, or neither of us would be reacting 101 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:51,200 the way that we are, but when you do, okay, when you, when you think about this, I don't, 102 00:14:51,200 --> 00:15:01,800 I don't want you to go and get inside your head that this, what's happening right now, 103 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:15,600 don't think that it makes me like you any less, because, because just because I'm frustrated, 104 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:22,080 and hurt, and annoyed with you, look, you, you've been behaving like this for weeks, 105 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:31,720 you know, like, almost a month on and off, shh, don't deny it, okay, maybe look a little 106 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:44,640 guilty, but don't act like it's, I haven't said anything, maybe I should have, I just, 107 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:58,320 I didn't know what the problem was, and I was afraid that it was me, because it's been 108 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:13,180 me in the past, but I, I just didn't, I don't want to jump start that conversation and potentially 109 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:30,120 lose someone that I really, really care about, but if this is the reason why I've been made 110 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:43,360 to feel unwanted, and annoying, and unlikable, then that really sucks, and I owe it to both 111 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:55,600 of us to get it out in the open, yeah, well, now you know, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to 112 00:16:55,600 --> 00:17:04,800 come off so, I don't want to bully you into a response, I just wanted to tell you how 113 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:14,200 I feel, and you're not obligated to return any affection, or even try to work through 114 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:24,840 your shit to appease me, but I just wanted to know where I stand, and if I'm right, if 115 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:36,280 you're just not ready, because you're scared, or I don't know, maybe the reason you're not 116 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:44,160 attracted to me is because I like you, that would be the real kicker, if you lost interest 117 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:54,600 in me because my high opinion of you devalues my merit, fuck you if that's the case, honestly, 118 00:17:54,600 --> 00:18:14,920 because I have great taste, acquired maybe, but fuck if it ain't good, and I really hope 119 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:29,320 that that isn't true, because it would break my heart to know that you thought so poorly 120 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:39,760 of yourself, that the thought of someone loving you makes their feelings worthless, that would 121 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:55,480 just suck on both ends, but I should tell you the feelings I have for you, I'm not 122 00:18:55,480 --> 00:19:02,960 only hanging around because of the chemicals in my brain, I overanalyze this shit to hell 123 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:17,840 and back, you know I vet my options very carefully, if anything, I've talked myself out of liking 124 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:37,080 you like 3 times by now, but it doesn't work, because I love so much of who you are, the 125 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:54,840 feelings always come back, and every time I catch it I think, oh well duh, how could 126 00:19:54,840 --> 00:20:09,120 they not with someone like that, I don't know when exactly our situation became real to 127 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:23,080 you, I'm guessing it was around the time you started lashing out, but it's been a long 128 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:35,800 ass time for me dude, I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable, I'm trying to give you space, 129 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:48,440 I know I never really flirted or tried to close the distance until the summer when you 130 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:58,680 started showing interest, maybe I, I don't know did I rush it, I was just so excited 131 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,920 that you seemed to want me, I probably overdid it, I don't even know how that came off to 132 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:15,320 you, I'm sorry, I want you to know that you can trust me, okay, you can trust me to back 133 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:33,480 off and to take things slow, to keep myself grounded, and to let you go, but honestly 134 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:45,080 I really don't want to, I really don't, not when, not if it's because you're afraid, and 135 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:50,120 I get it, I get it, you want to protect yourself, maybe you even want to protect me, but I'm 136 00:21:50,120 --> 00:22:02,520 a big girl, and I'm not stupid, and I'll be honest, that'll piss me off, I mean, I am 137 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:10,360 not blaming you, like I said, I understand, and what you feel is what you feel, but I 138 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:21,400 hope then that you'll find someone who can help you learn how to see yourself differently, 139 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:33,880 because you're more important than you think, regardless of what you believe, I can look 140 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:41,600 at you and see how much worth you have, and even I would be overlooking some spots, because 141 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:49,480 I can only see you in relation to so many things, I'm just one person, but I have been 142 00:22:49,480 --> 00:23:03,200 looking, for a long time, and I've seen your colours, as cliché as that sounds, and putting 143 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:18,600 up walls doesn't muddy them, it just makes me so much sadder, to have to walk away, but 144 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:33,880 if you really want me to, for any reason, I'll have to, and I respect that, but I'm 145 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:41,880 still going to be in love with you. 146 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:55,520 Oh, fuck, this is not helping my runny nose, anyway, let's keep going, okay, oh my god, 147 00:23:55,520 --> 00:24:22,600 my feet are about to turn black, yeah, yeah, yeah, come here, you can have a hug, of course 148 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:46,720 I want to hug you, sorry, it really went in my mouth, how did you know forehead kisses 149 00:24:46,720 --> 00:25:16,600 are my favourite, can I, bend down asshole, move your hat, I don't even know how to pull 150 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:35,400 it back down the way you had it, there we go, you're a gorgeous cyclops, oh yeah, definitely, 151 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:48,280 of course we can talk more, I would love to, do you want to get a couple squishy armchairs, 152 00:25:48,280 --> 00:26:07,440 oh my god, on the ground, oh my god, it's our key, oh my, well thank god it fell out 153 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:13,360 on the sidewalk where the salt is, I really didn't want to tell Ches I lost it, her uncle 154 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:20,680 was so finicky about us staying at his lodge in the first place, I must have a hole in 155 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:34,920 my coat or something, well, do you want to go back or, okay yeah, Starbucks first, I 156 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:46,680 agree, I really do want to try that pistachio latte, hmm, what do you need to, ah!