Ahoi down there. Up here.
Wow, you slept like a log.
No, I'm not gonna wake you up. Not with how hard you've been working. I mean, you've been powering through. Honestly, like a workhorse, I've never seen you work this hard before. You needed a rest.
So I graciously decided to keep the birds from shitting on you while you slept.
Yeah, I would just smack them any time they tried to land in the tree. Why do you think I'm up here?
Other than the fact that I now have a great view of the oncoming sunset, which I am...
I'm glad you're awake for.
I was kinda contemplating waking you up for it. I feel like this one's gonna be really something.
I just know. There's something about the sunsets that you and I always manage to catch. They're just...
I can't even decide which one's my favorite. They all stick out in my mind really clearly.
Yippee! You're awake!
No, sorry. Did I sound weird?
No, I'm just... you know, it's later in the day and I've just been catching up on thinking.
Taking the opportunity while you're unconscious.
Hey, you know what I... actually... well, I guess I didn't just realize it.
But I was just thinking about it.
This park is kinda... it's kinda where our friendship cemented.
Well, for me. I don't know about you. I mean, we'd been hanging out before that.
And for a little bit. I guess I just... it's kind of rare for me to hang out one-on-one with guys.
I mean, I've always had male friends, but I guess I... due to historical events, I don't really hang out with them.
Just the two of us very often because in the past, that's led to some awkward confrontations.
And I just... it just feels like there's always a tension there.
And I... it's just a bummer when you're hanging out with someone and you start to feel comfortable with them.
And then they come at you swinging, you know? And they're like, God, I wanna... I want more.
The friendship isn't enough. And it just... you know?
And then that leads me to think that, oh, well, now every guy is gonna want something else.
And it makes me feel super fucking arrogant and also more cautious than I need to be and probably still not cautious enough.
And I... so I just... I normally am on guard, you know, when I'm hanging out with a dude, with a fella.
And it kind of eliminates the potential for a close relationship, which sucks.
But I... I remember we were hanging out and we were at the park.
We were here and we were just sitting on one of the benches near the pond.
And we heard the ice cream truck and you were like, OK, I'm gonna go get us some ice cream.
You stay here. You stay here. You have to wait and keep your eyes peeled because I need to show you the man, the myth, the legend, Obese Pete.
And I was... I mean, my eyes lit up. I was so excited. I didn't even know what the fuck you were talking about.
And so you went off, you know, I sat there. I waited. You didn't even give me a clue.
I just knew a name. And I mean, honestly, it was enough.
I never expected the majesty of what I was about to discover.
So I was just waiting in anticipation, looking around desperate so that I couldn't possibly miss this amazing spectacle that was supposedly about to warp into existence in front of my fucking face.
And I'm waiting and waiting, thinking of Pete. And you finally came back from around the corner, double fisting two ice creams, one of which was a power puff pop that looked like it had just lost a hard, hard fight.
Running because you didn't want to miss the action. And I turned to you to be like, hey, man, what's the deal? Like, where is this creature you promised me? He's a no show.
And I just... I guess I noticed for the first time that it was just you.
Just you.
Just you and me and our ice creams. And there was no one else there. We weren't hanging out with like a group of friends.
Pete wasn't even in the picture. It was just the two of us. And it, it, it caught me off guard.
And it was, it was a really good feeling.
It was so natural. I don't know how it happens. I mean, it must have been like the 11th time we had hung out, just the two of us, and I didn't even notice.
That's insane. For me, that's insane.
And then Pete came out, and he was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
Just this perfect sphere of a mallard. Oh my God.
So now ice cream and ducks are synonymous with our friendship in my mind. It's etched there permanently.
And I'm very grateful for that.
And now it's been what? God, that was like two years ago.
But yeah, you, you've been a really good friend.
And it hasn't been weird.
Yeah.
And then I had, I just, I got caught up in how comfortable I felt.
And I, I wanted to enhance that even further. And I, I, we just, we kept getting closer.
And I thought, I want this guy to be happy. I want him to just, I care about him. He's just such a good, he's such a good friend.
And I loved that, I loved that that's all that there is.
And then you got, you got a girlfriend.
And I, easily in the beginning, I knew, like I knew I was jealous right away.
And then, and I, it didn't concern me because I was like, I, you know, I, he's, it's just that we were close and spent a lot of time together.
And now he has someone else that's just, he's choosing to spend that time with a lot. And that, like, that's normal, right?
Like you just get that. It doesn't matter how you see the other person, if you're close, you know, it's, I got that way when my dad started dating my stepmom, you know?
Like I, I got jealous and it, it, it didn't concern me. I, I just thought, you know, good for him. I'm so, I'm so happy for him.
You know, he's, I don't see him as much. It sucks. And I, I spent a lot of time at the park alone after that.
Not to make you feel guilty or bum you out. I just, it's just what happened, you know?
I would watch you two together and I would think, oh, yeah, you're really close.
I've never gotten to do that with him. I've never...
Are we close enough as, does he like me enough as just a person to be okay doing that stuff with me? Like just, you know, cuddling or...
I mean, I know he's taken, but we could, we could do some of that stuff platonically. I wonder if he wants to.
And then I would, I would catch myself and, and I would go, well, no, that's, that's something that he does with her for a reason.
I mean, that's, she's, she's the girlfriend and I don't want to broach on that. That's, it's a separate relationship and I shouldn't compare mine to it.
It's not the same and I don't want it to be the same. I don't want all the responsibilities that would come with being his girlfriend.
I don't want, I don't want to perform all the requirements of that title and then it just hit me. Yes, I do.
This is even when we broke up. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. And now I'm, God, this is so pathetic. I'm sorry.
I never meant to be the one who would. No, stay down there. Please don't.
I'm so sorry.
Really?
Oh my God.
Yeah, I feel like slightly less of an asshole.
Fuck, I thought we were done though.
The boy, he's here.
Obese Pete, you're a prophet pal. Oh, little buddy.
Oh, I want to ruffle your feathers.
Do you want to go chase down the ice cream truck?
I want to see how deformed SpongeBob can get.