You always say we are friends. But I am not your friend. I can't be your friend. Friends don't fuck like we have. Friends haven't seen each other's faces when they come. Friends haven't licked each other's juices off their bodies. And friends don't spend weekends in a tangle of skin and sweat and sex. A friend wouldn't know what you taste like or where that tattoo is. A friend wouldn't have fucked you more times than he or she could have accounted and still want more. I do want more. I want to be all over you. Every night. Making you moan and hearing my name. Hearing my name spill off your lips and raptures. My name. Not whoever you fucking right now. A friend wouldn't hurt to know what's happening. To see you so free. A friend would just want you to be happy but not me. I am selfish about you. I am tormented by jealous thoughts and the pain of not being able to touch you when I want it. And this is how I know I am not your friend. If I was your friend I wouldn't remember the exact date of our first kiss and I still feel a luster in my lips. I wouldn't be able to picture you naked in my bed like it was yesterday. If I was your friend I wouldn't be touching myself thinking of how you touch me. And I wouldn't come so hard from the memory of my mouth and hands all over your bare skin. How can you claim you are my friend with a straight face? A friend would never have kissed me like you did or stripped me so hungrily every time you were alone. A friend would not turn up at my door in the night. Begging to be fucked. Knowing that I couldn't refuse you if I wanted to. No. Friends definitely do not do the things we've done to each other and the things I still want to do. I've tried so hard. Believe me. But I've been driven to distraction. I can't unsee you naked or unfuck you. And I'm not even going to try anymore. I just can't be your friend when I want you so fucking bad. I want you so fucking bad.