Hey. Hey. Hey. It's alright. You're alright. Just lie back down for me, okay? It's just
me. It's just me. I know it's dark. You don't mind me running my fingers through your hair,
okay? I was going to wake you, but it just seemed mighty cruel. It took you so long to
fall asleep, so I thought I'd just let you drift to the surface. I was so very pleased
that you agreed to stay the night, just having you in these walls. It's like the house is
alive again. It's not strange to see any of my brother's room, is it? It was the first
to be empty. The day the postman brought the letter from the army. I think that was the
last day anything was right, but I knew my prayers were answered when I saw you coming
up the way. You didn't recognize me, did you? In my brother's old coveralls and daddy's
hat, and just some scrawny boy mending the fence for a dollar. And I did pray for you
every day and every night while you were in France. As long as you came back, things could
be right again. It's just been so long since I knew what to do. After the letter, mama,
she… The doctor thought maybe she had the Spanish flu. If she did, daddy and I never
got it from her. But she burned like there was a fire inside of her. She couldn't eat.
She couldn't sleep. I stayed with her as much as I could. Read to her, sang to her.
Anything I could think of whenever daddy could spare me. There were no hands to hire for
the field. They were all gone to France to fight the Hun. One day I saw a cornstalk just
rotting where it stood. Turned right black. We pulled it up quick as we could, but the
next day there were ten yards of crop gone bad. We fought it, me and daddy. Fought it
like devils. And mama was just getting worse. I told myself, if we can save the field, mama
will live. I don't know why I said that, but somehow I knew it was true. In the end,
we burned half the field trying to stop the rot, but it kept on just the same. Mama had
on for a month. And daddy… I don't reckon daddy was meant to live in a world that just
had mama in it. I didn't sleep that night. I laid awake begging God or the stars or anyone
that would listen to bring you back from France. I would do anything, give anything, just let
him live. That was the first night I saw you. It wasn't a dream. I saw you in a trench,
mud up to your ankles, checking your pouches again and again, making sure the bullets were
still there. France wasn't like it was in the books. It was gray. Gray like the dead,
burnt field. I saw you every night after that. I know how it sounds. I know. Please. It sounds
cracked. No, please, don't get up. You need to rest. I said, please, don't get up. You
know what that is. The muzzle of daddy's revolver pressed up against your ribs. I didn't
want to do that. I don't want to, but you don't understand. I could have never gotten
close like this. Not if I wasn't meant to be. All that time, none of the Huns ever got
this close, did they? Ever had you like this? They didn't. You were the one who got close.
It's alright. You don't have to say. I know. I saw. I saw what you did to them. With your
rifle, with your knife, with your bare hands. I saw you painted red. You were beautiful.
I almost couldn't stand it. My heart was pounding in my ears and my skin was so hot
I thought maybe mama had given me the Spanish flu after all. I always thought that one day
we'd married. I don't know why. Years and years we spent every minute together we could,
playing chess and reading popes and walking everywhere there was to walk. And we never
even kissed or held hands or even looked at each other. But then I saw you and god, I've
never needed anything so bad. Then you were there. Coming up the road to tell me you were
finally, finally home. We drank coffee with lots of daddy's whiskey in it. I wasn't trying
to trick you when I said I couldn't stand one more night alone in this house. I wanted
to tell you that you didn't have to sleep in my brother's room. That you didn't belong
there. This is all so strange and new. I know it shouldn't be happening like this but you
might say no. And that can't happen. It can't. This is the only chance. It has to happen
and it has to happen tonight. But it can't happen in here. Hidden from the sky. Can you
see it all yet? I need you to look at me. Really. Look at me. Why are you looking away?
Of course I'm naked. That's just the way it has to be. For both of us. For both of us.
Don't make me tell you again. Now stand up and get ready. Good. Good. Now. Come on now.
The field is waiting for us. I know you don't understand. But you will. I promise you. The
corn in this field used to stand twelve feet high. Now it's just a bare patch of ground.
You can change all that though. Yes. Yes you can. So much went wrong. The ground opened
up and how many bodies did it swallow? How much blood? And ash? But not you. You're
still alive. Only you. No. I'm not. Me. This place. We're dead. But you lived. Somehow.
Through the shells and the gas. It's still inside you. You can make this place live again.
You can make. Me. Live again. And it'll be easy. The easiest thing in the whole wide
world. Stop backing up. You heard the hammer click. Now stop. Just. Please. Just let me
be close. I mean. Look at you. So pale and perfect in the moonlight. I could worship
you like this. Would you like that? If I got on my knees and worshipped you. If I worshipped
you. With my mouth. Please don't make me point this at you. Please. Please. Let this
be like it should. Just let it be good. Just let it happen. The easiest thing in the whole
world. The easiest thing in the world. And the way you're swallowing in my mouth. You
know don't you. You know this is where you're meant to be. I don't know what I expected
you to taste like but it's. It's. God. What's it?
That's not right. It should. It should be saying. It's good. Isn't it. My mouth. My
tongue. I can give you everything. All you have to do is stay here. Fine. If that's not
enough. Then. Well. I guess I'll just have to kick it up a notch. There. That's it.
There. Now. Come down here with me. On your back now. The ground is soft here. Almost
as soft as my brother's bed ain't it. So this is what it's like to feel you in between my
legs. Your chest under my hands. You can touch me you know. You can feel me to your heart's
content. That's it. My thighs. My stomach. My breast. This is how it's meant to be after
this. Feel lower. You know where. Feel just how ready I am for you. Yes. We do. We have
to. But that doesn't mean it has to be bad. Let me show you. Alright. Let me. It happened.
It really happened. God. God he's so deep and. You understand now. Don't you. You're
going to give this place life again. And you're going to do it right here. Inside me. It's
going to be beautiful. You'll see. I truly wish it could have been different. You know
that don't you. With kisses and long slow touches and whispering to each other about
how much trouble we'd be in if my daddy caught us. But we can have so much more. You want
this. Don't you. Yes. Yes. Yes. Drive up into me. Taste the sweat on my breast. I didn't
need the gun did I. You wanted this. Didn't you. You always wanted me. Let me just put
it in the dirt where it belongs so I can hold you like that. Pull your mouth up to my throat.
Oh God. This is how it really ought to have been. This is how it's always going to be.
You're going to do it. You're going to bring life here again. It's been so long. We don't
have to be alone anymore. Nothing can touch us like this. It's just going to be you and
me and the life you bring here. God you're straining so hard inside me. Feel me. Come
on. Feel me. Feel me with you. Please. I want to live again. I want to feel something. I
want to feel something. Give me everything. Give it to me until we both. It's so cold
in here. Yes. Yes. There ain't no going back now. It's in me. What we made. What we
made. We can be here. What are you doing? Yes. Yes. I can feel the muscle under my chin.
Please. Please. We're so close. All you have to do is accept it darling. You can. I know
that you can. I never wanted to hurt you. You ought to have known that. You just. You
couldn't leave. Not again. When you left the first time. I had to. What if you'd say
no? It was my only chance. It has to mean something. Right? Me still being here. They're
all gone but not me. We can make it like it was. Like it was meant to be. Can't we? It
was so beautiful. I could see it. And I could make you see it too. I could. But. But you
don't. Do you? When you look at me all. All you see is. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe. Maybe
this is what was meant to happen. I. I understand. I do. I know what has to happen now. But I.
I. I know I don't have the right to ask anything. Especially not this. But I. Could I. Could
I kiss you? Just the ones we never did after all. Thank you.
Thank you.