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hi guys I wanted to kind of talk a tiny bit about why it is that I went on

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hiatus beyond the initial reason I gave which for a quick recap the initial

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reason I gave was just because of personal circumstances really and

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having a bit of instability in my life at that point which I'm happy to say is

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pretty much smoothed over at this point yay but the other reason I went on hiatus

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actually it's kind of um it's it's actually kind of predictable to be

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quite blunt but um if you listening have ever like recorded for GWA or you follow

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other favorite posters on GWA or you know you're generally in the scope of

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GWA you know that there comes a time where the performer that you love so

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much is going to feel moments of inadequacy with the audios that they

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produce and kind of as ashamed as I am to admit it this is actually one of the

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bigger reasons why I went on hiatus as well I didn't initially say that that's

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what it was or at least part of what it was because I didn't want to sound you

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know pathetic or babyish for going on hiatus the way that I did so suddenly

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but um stressful conditions in my personal life combined with those

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feelings of inadequacy was really tough on me and it was kind of making me feel

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really awful and putting me in a bad place and I had to decide you know

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either I stopped making audio content for a while but continued to just put

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like text things and things like that like basically I stopped making audios

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and I continue to interact with people on reddit until I feel a bit better or I

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just continue until I spiral into an even worse depression and I decided that

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the best course of action was to put this side hobby on the back burner for a

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bit until things had stabilized for me a little bit better and I have a really

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bad habit and I'm sure that those of you listening that record content I think

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this is gonna hit you in the soul because you probably understand this

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feeling of comparing yourself to other posters that do similar content to you

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now generally I produce some pretty wide variety of content I mean I do like the

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most tamest sweetest vanilla content to full on like scat fantasies like I can

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be very versatile but you know lately I've been listening to some of the

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female peers who record and god some of the ones that make vanilla content do a

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beautiful job bringing alive the picture and the emotion of the scene ad-libbed

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nonetheless that I could never do you know and it was making me kind of

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discouraged and combining that with like you know the less than favorite not less

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than favorable but like the fact that my more recent couple few audios haven't

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been getting as much attention as my usual stuff gets I was very discouraged

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as you can imagine and I kind of figured well maybe if I left for a bit maybe

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nobody would care which you guys have proven to me is totally wrong I got so

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many sweet supportive comments on the hiatus post itself I got so many sweet

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considerate PMs from you guys I mean I wasn't expecting you guys to care that

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much about a voice on the internet but you care that much and it means a lot to

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me I just wanted to thank you for all of that care you know because that combined

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with my own personal like self-care self soothing stuff I've been doing in my

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personal life I've been feeling more radiant than I felt in a while and this

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does include in my personal time so to speak wink wink nudge nudge when I'm not

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recording I feel more aroused and more sexy than I felt in a few months to be

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quite frank so I don't know but I'm happy to report I feel so much better

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now but I figured I would let you guys in a little bit on why it is that I went

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on hiatus the way I did beyond just the typical reason of personal

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circumstances because that's not ever specific enough and I didn't want to

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leave you guys hanging as to what it was I mean there were also stuff that I

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can't talk about but I mean another large reason was the feelings of

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inadequacy but it felt good getting this off my chest so thank you for

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listening I appreciate it a lot so thank you for always supporting me and looking

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after me it means so much thank you God God just thank you holy shit oh I don't

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know I'm just really happy right now and I'm gonna treat myself to a nice warm

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bath and some fresh sugar scrub and some tea I'm on a fucking roll so thank you

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for listening it means a lot