Hi. I saw this questionnaire. There's two parts to it, but I'm just gonna do the first part for now of this questionnaire user KinkyEmi posted.
So I'm just gonna get right to it. Sorry if there's any, like, throat clearing or my voice sounds a little bit off. My throat's been a bit uncooperative today, but that's okay.
Would you rather have sex with someone with a bushy pubic area or someone with a clean shaven pubic area? I'm gonna be honest, I don't have a preference either way.
And I don't really care if the person with pubic hair decides to keep it, like, well-groomed or not. I think that's their personal decision. It's their body. They should do what they want with it.
And me personally, I don't really give a shit, you know? I think just as long as, you know, you are, you know, like, making sure that you have good hygiene down there, that's it.
But, like, to me that doesn't necessarily mean eliminating any of your pubic hair if you don't want to. I just think that's kind of, you know, ridiculous in a way.
I think people should do what makes them most comfy in their bodies, so whether that is shaving or whether it's keeping it all natural if they want, they should do what they want.
And me personally, I'll have sex with either as long as what they have down there makes them happy in terms of how they groom it or choose not to groom it. I'm down, so either or. I'm not picky. I don't really care.
Would you rather accidentally send a dirty text message to your boss or your partner's mom? As humiliating and horrifying as it would be to send one to my partner's mom, like my hypothetical partner's mom, I think it would be better that way than to send it to the hypothetical boss.
Because, see, depending on what kind of personality the boss had, either it could be like a, you could laugh it off, haha, or it could just be horrifying.
And I would rather keep things with my hypothetical boss like professional and not weird like that. At least with the partner's mom it could make for a funny dinner story or something like at Thanksgiving, you know what I mean?
Like everyone has those embarrassing family stories, well that could be one of those, right? So the latter, the partner's mom, I think that makes more sense.
Would you rather be a virgin until you're 40 or never be able to have sex after 40? Well, I'm going to ask a really heated question to this whole questionnaire because some of these questions, I admit, I overthink them a little, but that's because I possess a question and it's kind of, I guess, deep, if you want to call it that.
How are we defining sex? Strictly penetrative? If that's the case, I'm going to say I'd rather be a virgin because, well, you know, not like I'd be engaging in much of any vaginally penetrative sex, so, hey.
Would you rather be blindfolded or handcuffed during sex? Definitely blindfolded because to me that's less scary than having a limited range of motion.
With a blindfold, I hear that blindfolds actually heighten your other senses because your sense of sight is limited when you have the blindfold on. Can anyone confirm if that's true? Because I've been very intrigued by blindfolds. I'd love to try it. I've just, I don't know, I've never had a real opportunity to try.
But I know for a fact I would not want to be handcuffed. Would you rather be terrible at kissing or at giving blowjobs?
Now see, questions like these, I pose the question. Is it assumed that like it's a weird magical spell that was cursed upon you that you will forever be bad? Because I think everyone can learn to improve with communication and openness and honesty. I think you can always improve.
And if I had to choose like which one to be worse at, blowjobs, to me, a good kiss is what makes it. Not necessarily how good you are at everything else. I think kissing is horribly underrated, to be honest.
And like if you can kiss real good and then get to the other stuff and we can stumble and learn along the way, whether giving or receiving, that's how I feel on that. That's what I think. You can learn and grow and develop in that way.
So I don't think that terrible is a state of forever, right? So these kinds of questions, they make me roll my eyes a little bit because it's like, you're not going to be terrible forever. You can always improve. You just have to communicate with your partner.
And that's my stance on all of those kinds of questions. I think there's a few that are going to come up like that, so I'm not even going to answer those necessarily. But like I said, in this case scenario, I'd rather be bad at giving blowjobs because you can always improve. Who gives a fuck? It's fine.
Would you rather be with someone who loves rough sex or someone who loves kinky sex? Definitely the kinky sex because kinky does not necessarily mean rough. And I don't like it rough. I don't want it rough. No, no, no rough. No roughness for me.
But kinky soft sex would be wonderful. So I'm going to say the kinky sex, but it has to be soft and like gentle. It can't be intense like rough and stuff like that. It needs to be borderline almost vanilla, but like still very clearly kinky. Does that make sense?
So would you rather be with a partner you can't please sexually or a partner who can't please you sexually? I think open communication would help you both to please one another with little to no problem.
Like, I mean, there would be speed bumps along the way, of course. But I think, again, communication would help this. But if I had to say which I would prefer, the latter, because I can always help my partner figure out how to please me.
It's not hard to open your mouth and talk and tell your partner, hey, I think you could do this better or that better or a little more pressure here or it's not, you know, it can be tough if you're maybe shy. But I think learning to know what to say, when to say it, or even just showing, you know?
I don't know. But like sex isn't everything either. So I don't know. Like to me, what counts is like the chemistry, the intimacy. Are you guys happy and enjoying what's going on? That's all that matters, whether it like is, you know, mind blowing or kind of awkward.
To me, it's all about enhancing a connection with somebody, whether that be romantic or otherwise, I don't think it has to be perfect, or even that great. It just has to be fun. So who gives a fuck about like, does it please? Does it emotionally please you? I think that's the important criteria.
Physical counts, obviously, but if you really want physical pleasure, you would just go masturbate anyway, would you not? Granted, I know partnered and solo are kind of different, but like, I mean, a good compromise would be if you felt that you or your partner couldn't please, you could do mutual masturbation and then watch how the other enjoys touch.
There you go. Would you rather date a bad kisser or someone who's terrible at oral sex refer to the previous question with the bad blow job or bad kissing? Because, like I said, communication, and you can always improve.
But if I had to pick the one who sucks at oral sex, because like, at least they're trying to mean good kissing is the most important, like, because that can be the start of all of it. That's important. You want to make a good first impression, don't you?
But even then, even if it's a little awkward, what matters is like, the intent, you can figure it out and learn along the way. Maybe I'm just not so uptight about sex as other people, but I don't really care if it's bad or not.
Like, unless it's actually genuinely just awful, but I feel like, I don't know, to me, open communication could probably prevent that. Hopefully. That's my naive, relatively inexperienced self-talking though, so don't mind me.
Would you rather date a guy who comes in ten seconds or a guy who takes at least four hours to come? See, the guy coming doesn't have to be the be-all-end-all sexual activity. I think I want the one who's a quick shot, because then he can go to town doing other stuff with me.
Like, for me, anyway? I think these questions are assuming that, like, you're gonna have, like, penetrative sex in it, you know, that, like, that's gonna ruin it. I don't think so, and to me, sex is more than just sticking things in other things. I think it's bullshit to think that way.
So, to me, give me the quick shot. We can figure out other things to, you know, we can figure out other things to get me off. It's fine. I'm not picky. As long as I'm having fun with the person that I'm connecting to in that way, no matter how that is, no matter how conventional or not it might be, that's what matters.
Not how quick or long they take to come, but give me the quick shot, because I don't want to go at it for four hours. That just sounds uncomfortable. No matter how I'm doing it, that just doesn't sound fun. That feels like it would get, that, that sounds like it'd get really boring after a bit, so ten seconds would be perfect in terms of getting someone off.
Plus, I take it as a compliment if someone could get off that quickly because of me. Like, to me, that's a compliment. I'm not insulted by that.
Would you rather date a porn star or be a porn star? Well, I do audio porn. And while I'm not a celebrity, I'd rather not gain, like, any sort of notoriety for it. That kind of terrifies me. But, um, technically, would I not be the porn star partner of the hypothetical partner in this situation? So, the latter, right?
Would you rather date a sex addict or a virgin? Uh, see, I think both would be really nice in their own way. I have a pretty high libido myself, but, like, see, to me, I'd want the virgin because, like, I would love to have a positive experience with a virgin where, like, they wouldn't feel pressured to see sex any one way.
And they wouldn't feel pressured to do things perfect because I like to think I have a pretty laid-back attitude about all this shit. So, I like to think that they could figure out themselves sexually and, you know, with me and help me even figure myself out sexually more, too.
And it would be a really cool experience because it wouldn't be about trying to be perfect or amazing or trying to, like, be hardcore sex gods the way I feel like the sex addict might prefer it or feel that they'd want it at the risk of sounding horribly stereotypical.
Give me the virgin. I feel like, for me, that would be a lot more reassuring and comforting because I tend to see sex very differently than most. And I will save that view for more in detail in a later question that gets me very heated, to be honest.
Would you rather eat your partner's ass or have your ass eaten by your partner? Can I not have both?
Can I take both? I don't have to just pick one, do I? Can I pick both in the event that I have to pick one? I want my ass eaten by my partner.
I think it'd be a really nice way to get me relaxed back there before lubing up and putting a finger up there, but I don't know. Plus, I just think it'd feel really good.
So, I'll be rimmed by my partner, but then I'm going to return the favor and rim them, too. So, hell yeah. Girl, or a guy. I'm, like, more than willing to put my mouth back there and be like, it'd be like, like, like, like, you know what I mean?
Oh, goodness. Would you rather fart uncontrollably when you orgasm or cry inconsolably? Give me the former, because any opportunity to laugh during sex is wonderful.
I think getting too uptight and taking it too seriously, just, like, where's the fun in that? That sucks. I think it's better to have moments where you can smile and laugh together.
I think it adds to the bonding experience, regardless if that's romantic or not. I think, I just think that even though the farting might be a little bit embarrassing at first, again, I think open communication, just giving the heads up, like, hey, I do this weird thing when I come.
And then them just anticipating it, it would make for a good moment to just, like, laugh together and, like, you know what I mean? I'd rather not cry inconsolably, though, because, like, that's just not fun to me. And I don't know, I feel like it just would suck all the fun out of it for me. I don't know, I don't really like that.
Would you rather fuck your high school crush or your celebrity crush? If porn stars count as a celebrity crush, there's this one I crush on really hard. Put me and Hibiki Otsuki on a bed together and I am content. I want her to fuck me so good.
Oh my god, I am, like, so ready. And, I mean, she was in one of the Yakuza games. She was in Yakuza Zero, actually, so she counts as a celebrity, does she not? Like, in that case, I feel like she would be.
Would you rather give a strip tease or a lap dance? I would give one and then transfer into the other, but if I had to pick which one I preferred, probably the lap dance, because I think that would feel incredible and I could probably get off on it, and hopefully my partner could too.
Or I could transfer into more intense dry humping. I think that'd be really lovely and really fucking hot.
Would you rather give up masturbating for a whole year or sex for two months? Definitely sex for two months, like, I know how to get me off best anyway, so I could never give up masturbating, that's ridiculous.
Would you rather have a leaked video of you masturbating or one where you're having sex? Definitely the one where I'm masturbating because, to me, that's less horrifying than the idea of something that really is supposed to be private with me and someone else out there.
You know, like, I wouldn't want people seeing me engaged in sex, I mean, I don't want people seeing me at all, that's why I do audio porn, but I would rather just have the leaked masturbation video because, at least then, it's not intruding on other people's privacy, especially if they wouldn't want that leaked, right?
So it's all about being considerate, but, you know, if someone was going to be a dick and do that, then the solo content.
Would you rather have sex with a priest or a monk? My gut instinct says that the monk is cooler, so I'm going to say the monk because it just sounds cooler, and it'd probably be some pretty sensual sex.
Maybe that's a very stereotypical way to see it, but I feel like there'd be some sensuality involved, like, in a more spiritual sense? I don't know, I think that'd be really fascinating, though.
Would you rather have bad sex or no sex at all? Probably no sex at all because I can satisfy myself with masturbation. Sex isn't the most important thing, and mutual masturbation exists, so, you know, there's that and there's, like, you know what I mean? So, like, if I wanted to do things partnered, I could just do that, but I don't know.
Would you rather have big boobs or a tight ass? Well, I already have a pretty tight ass, so I'm going to say the former because I do wish I had a little more boobage.
It's not that I have small breasts, but I would not call them big either. They're definitely more on the medium side, which I get a little self-conscious about sometimes. I don't know why, because they look kind of sizable on my frame, but, like, I get kind of self-conscious of them.
I wish they were a little bit bigger. Would you rather have drunken sex with your female best friend or your roommate? How close am I to my roommate? Because I'm going to say roommate, but depending on how close we are, I think that could either up or decrease the risk of how it would fuck up our relationship with one another.
But I'm going to say the roommate anyway, because I wouldn't want to fuck up an established friendship like that, personally. So, this question, I don't like how it's worded. It actually kind of pisses me off, and I'm going to clarify why.
The question is, would you rather have foreplay and no sex or sex without foreplay? Now, here's my stance on this. I don't categorize it as foreplay and no sex. I think of it as would you rather have non-penetrative sex or penetrative sex?
And the reason I say this is because unless you are doing the non-penetrative activities specifically for preparation of penetrative sex, if you're doing non-penetrative, out-of-course-y activities, and you're doing that to completion, that's not foreplay anymore.
There is no fore to it. That is what you're doing. That's how you're having sex, so it's non-penetrative sex. And to me, sex is more than penetration, and I think if more people could see it that way, they'd have happier sex lives.
Especially if they were not comfortable having penetrative sex. Just fucking saying. But this questionnaire is kind of dumb with how it words this, but I'm going to answer it the way I worded it, because I think the way that I worded it is a lot better.
I would say I'd rather have non-penetrative sex, because that's more bound to get me off, and I don't need penetration to get off. My clit is my best friend, and as long as that's being stimulated in some way, shape, and form, I'm happy.
And like I said, I think that sex can be all kinds of things, whatever you make of it. Plus, orgasm isn't everything either. As long as I have a good connection with the person, and it feels nice, and I'm content with it, that's what's important.
I don't need anything inside of me to get off. In fact, I prefer not having things inside of me for the most part. Like, that's not to say I don't like ass play, because I do. But, I don't know.
So, I think this question is very flawed. I think it's way better to word it like, would you rather have non-penetrative sex or penetrative sex with no foreplay? Because, like I said, if you're having non-penetrative sex and it's done to completion, whether for both of you or one of you, then it's not foreplay anymore.
That doesn't make sense. Like, it's not foreplay anymore. I think it's very cheap to think of it that way. I think that that's kind of a very limiting way to see sex, to be honest.
Sex is a rainbow, and I think there's different shades within that rainbow, and it's all how you want to see it. I think if you limit your rainbow to having just a couple shades, what's the point?
I think sexual expression comes in many forms, and to limit other styles of sex where there's no penetration involved as just being foreplay, it's upsetting. And I don't like that. I think that's a very narrow way to see things.
I think that if we could see it as different shades of sex and that they're all valid, that would be fantastic.
So now that I'm done with that rant, would you rather have office sex or kitchen sex? Definitely the kitchen sex, because you can implement whipped cream, chocolates.
You can do sploshing, wet and messy. That's something I actually really like. There's something really erotic about it, and it's not something I talk about very much if at all.
I don't know if I've ever spoken about my sploshing fetish before, but it's something I like quite a bit, and it'd be really fun to have a situation where I could really implement that with the magic of kitchen sex.
That'd be really cool. Would you rather have one sexual partner or many sexual partners? Probably one sexual partner, because I like it to be a very mindful experience, where it's me and the other person focused on one another.
I feel like at least at this point in time, I'd be weirdly anxious with multiple partners, and I'd feel really awkward. I think one partner's good enough for me.
Would you rather have sex missionary or doggy style? Probably missionary, because of how intimate it is. I like the intimacy of it, but I prefer girl on top.
Now, if I'm with another girl, that complicates things a little bit, because then which girl's on top? Woo! But you know what I mean? I don't know.
I feel like this questionnaire is aimed a little bit more at people, a little more into people with dicks, and I tend to be a little bit more into vaginas myself, and I tend to like women a little bit more, like cis women a little bit more.
But that's not to say I'm not open to dicks, so it's an interesting questionnaire. I just kind of wish that some of these questions were worded better. I think some of them were worded very poorly, and I'm not a fan, but that's just me being weirdly hypersensitive about things, so take that as you will.
But that's my take on all this, so thank you for listening to my ramblings, and sorry for rattling my mouth for too long and saying weird shit, so that's about it.