hi guys I wanted to kind of talk a tiny bit about why it is that I went on
hiatus beyond the initial reason I gave which for a quick recap the initial
reason I gave was just because of personal circumstances really and
having a bit of instability in my life at that point which I'm happy to say is
pretty much smoothed over at this point yay but the other reason I went on hiatus
actually it's kind of um it's it's actually kind of predictable to be
quite blunt but um if you listening have ever like recorded for GWA or you follow
other favorite posters on GWA or you know you're generally in the scope of
GWA you know that there comes a time where the performer that you love so
much is going to feel moments of inadequacy with the audios that they
produce and kind of as ashamed as I am to admit it this is actually one of the
bigger reasons why I went on hiatus as well I didn't initially say that that's
what it was or at least part of what it was because I didn't want to sound you
know pathetic or babyish for going on hiatus the way that I did so suddenly
but um stressful conditions in my personal life combined with those
feelings of inadequacy was really tough on me and it was kind of making me feel
really awful and putting me in a bad place and I had to decide you know
either I stopped making audio content for a while but continued to just put
like text things and things like that like basically I stopped making audios
and I continue to interact with people on reddit until I feel a bit better or I
just continue until I spiral into an even worse depression and I decided that
the best course of action was to put this side hobby on the back burner for a
bit until things had stabilized for me a little bit better and I have a really
bad habit and I'm sure that those of you listening that record content I think
this is gonna hit you in the soul because you probably understand this
feeling of comparing yourself to other posters that do similar content to you
now generally I produce some pretty wide variety of content I mean I do like the
most tamest sweetest vanilla content to full on like scat fantasies like I can
be very versatile but you know lately I've been listening to some of the
female peers who record and god some of the ones that make vanilla content do a
beautiful job bringing alive the picture and the emotion of the scene ad-libbed
nonetheless that I could never do you know and it was making me kind of
discouraged and combining that with like you know the less than favorite not less
than favorable but like the fact that my more recent couple few audios haven't
been getting as much attention as my usual stuff gets I was very discouraged
as you can imagine and I kind of figured well maybe if I left for a bit maybe
nobody would care which you guys have proven to me is totally wrong I got so
many sweet supportive comments on the hiatus post itself I got so many sweet
considerate PMs from you guys I mean I wasn't expecting you guys to care that
much about a voice on the internet but you care that much and it means a lot to
me I just wanted to thank you for all of that care you know because that combined
with my own personal like self-care self soothing stuff I've been doing in my
personal life I've been feeling more radiant than I felt in a while and this
does include in my personal time so to speak wink wink nudge nudge when I'm not
recording I feel more aroused and more sexy than I felt in a few months to be
quite frank so I don't know but I'm happy to report I feel so much better
now but I figured I would let you guys in a little bit on why it is that I went
on hiatus the way I did beyond just the typical reason of personal
circumstances because that's not ever specific enough and I didn't want to
leave you guys hanging as to what it was I mean there were also stuff that I
can't talk about but I mean another large reason was the feelings of
inadequacy but it felt good getting this off my chest so thank you for
listening I appreciate it a lot so thank you for always supporting me and looking
after me it means so much thank you God God just thank you holy shit oh I don't
know I'm just really happy right now and I'm gonna treat myself to a nice warm
bath and some fresh sugar scrub and some tea I'm on a fucking roll so thank you
for listening it means a lot
