Hello Gone Wild Audible. So as of right now in Soundgasm this audio is actually
marked as private so this is exclusive for you guys because it's kind of
embarrassing and weird and stuff. So I recently came to an interesting
realization about myself that I kind of wanted to share at this hour of the night
for whatever reason at the time of recording it is almost 2 a.m. where I am
hooray. So I've kind of pretty much come to the realization that I have a little
girl side to me and it's something I'm still easing into it's still something
that I'm kind of getting comfortable with but I'm noticing lately I'm having
a lot more fantasies about being pampered and taken care of by like a
maternal figure of sorts. I say maternal because usually when I have these little
fantasies I think of other women and they're like my mommies and then I'm
like the little girl you know so I don't know the interesting thing about this is
that I do have like a mommy dom side to me though and so it's weird because I
have both a little and a mommy in me and I question how normal is that although I
probably shouldn't worry about how normal things are when it's just my
sexual being you know like I don't think I should overthink it so much but I'm so
prone to overthinking you know that it gets kind of intense sometimes and then
you know it can kind of suck but I'm just really turned on by the idea of
letting go of all of my responsibilities and all of my worries of the day and
letting somebody just take me in their hands so to speak to take control of my
mind in a sense and let me feel safe to just be to exist in that little space
where I don't have to think about anything I just need to really focus on
them and getting all pampered and spoiled and you know what I mean it's a
side to me that I kind of want to explore more to be quite honest I've
kind of had a bad habit of kind of trying to hold back my more submissive
side but lately I'm feeling a little more submissive than usual and instead
of trying to hide from it I'm starting to embrace it more whether it be through
listening to people's like mommy Dom audios or you know cuz I guess I have an
interesting what what's the slang term is it a catch-22 so you call it I'll
just say that there is an interesting catch to this whole thing I'm not very
comfortable with DDLG and when it comes to the big little dynamic with men I
like the idea of pampering and spoiling them so making like basically so being
the mommy to a little boy would turn me on more actually whereas with lemon I
want the opposite I want to be taken care of and spoiled and all that fun
stuff so typically I seek out like mommy Dom stuff and I've been listening to
mommy Dom audios I've been whatever well so I've been doing in my spare time I
just I let myself kind of write out fantasies I have I don't post it
anywhere I just I like to write stuff that reflects the littleness and fantasies
I have relating to my littleness and then I I don't know it's just lately
there's nothing that turns me on more than the idea of just submitting and
letting go of being the one in charge for a change it's not usual for me
because I typically like to feel like I have control in a situation so I feel
safe but lately I'm coming to realize I can be just as safe if I let go of the
control and give it to someone else that I trust just the thought of being able
to do that is a huge like holy shit I want that kind of feeling and I think
it'll take some time before I'm totally comfortable with being more submissive
and little and small in that sense because again it's not really a side
that I indulge in very often because it I guess quite frankly it's kind of scary
to think about giving up control in a sense although I understand in
situations where you'd be doing things with other people that the submissive
does have control over what's happening and the whole safer thing and all that
stuff but I don't know it's just you know how when you start to discover a
new part of yourself that you know has been in you you don't really know how to
take it at first but then you start to slowly embrace it kind of thing I'm kind
of going through that right now yeah it's different I'm not totally used to
it but it's a side that I'm slowly getting more accustomed to and I'm
hoping that soon I'll be even more comfortable to make more audios in
little space I actually did an audio recently quite recently where I was
masturbating and getting off while fantasizing about being pampered and
taken care of by a mommy which I may or may not cross post here for context and
just because it's actually something that's meant to get people off unlike
this is more just like a kinky ramble kind of thing not really meant to get
people off I'm not so sure if this kind of thing is allowed or not by the way so
if it's not I'll take it down and put it in the appropriate place aka I guess my
subreddit but I hope this is allowed fingers crossed oh gosh um but for me
I'm learning that letting myself be small to be little to imagine a very
nurturing and sweet mommy with me admittedly I'm starting to realize that
through letting my smallness and my little side out more and realizing
exactly what I want and what I crave and desire I'm starting to embrace myself
more wholeheartedly I've had a lot of kink and fetish things where I've been
a little hesitant about totally embracing and I'm still that way about
one particular fetish I have which I won't name here so it's not to put
people off or anything but if you look in my post history or whatever it could
become pretty clear which one I'm referring to gosh but um I'm starting to
realize that there's no point in living in shame or embarrassment or hesitation
about who I am sexually because the sexual parts of me are an extension of
who I am overall as a person and in a lot of respects in my life I am very
much the maternal type I always take care of people in need I'm pretty much
like mom number two in my household I take really well I try my best to take
really good care of you know everybody and in general I just I guess I tend to
be very nurturing towards people and very warm and caring towards people so
when I have my mommy side come out it feels very natural and very much like an
extension of that but also you know despite the fact that I do you know make
dirty audios like you know the rest of you you know I still have admittedly
quite a bit of naivete to me I'm still kind of innocent minded in a lot of
respects I think and you know in addition to that I kind of I have this
natural sense of curiosity and wonder and I have so many qualities to me that
are more youthful which you know I guess given my age that's a natural thing you
know I mean I'm 19 as of this recording so I mean I think that would make sense
but it's not I don't know how to explain it it's like it feels kind of like the
wonder a kid feels when walking into an extravagant candy shop for the first
time or something to that effect and I feel like a lot of these traits manifest
themselves into my sexual self in a sense and lately it's been manifesting
in the form of me being a little and I'm still getting comfortable with it I'm
still not totally confident in it because I have a bad habit of comparing
myself to others it's something I need to not do right but the thing is for me
I have a bad habit when I hear other little girls or I see them and I see how
adorable they are and how wonderful they are for their daddies or their
caregivers or whatever it makes me feel like well you know am I a valid little
girl you know because you know I'm a switch I have that mommy side to me but
I still have that little girl side to me that's you know aching to come out more
and play in multiple senses of the word it's a lot to grapple with I think and
again you know I overthink things this audio is a prime example of that I
overthink things so much but you know I don't know for some reason analyzing
things like this kind of makes me feel more comfortable with stuff that I start
to like or stuff that I start to realize about myself and this is no
exception I'm sorry that this isn't the most like sexual audio given that the
topic is something more on the kinky side though and kind of offers insight
into my recent kind of happenings and fantasies sort of themed stuff did any
that make sense I'm like half asleep basically while this audio doesn't
really have anything inherently erotic in it and it's really just like a like
updated ramble diary sort of thing I do hope it's welcome here at gone wild
audible because if there's any one thing that I think I love about this place
from what I gather it's a lot less restrictive towards this kind of content
and it's a pretty important step in my sexual growth so I figured you know
because I haven't really told anyone about this side of me yet you know
because like my close friends are very very open-minded people so I don't care
to tell them about like kinky stuff and quite a few of them know that I actually
do this as a hobby so I think one day I'll be brave enough to tell them about
this side of me but I haven't even told them yet because I'm just so nervous
what might go through their head at first you know so I thought who better
to tell about this recent realization than you guys and I don't know I don't
really know where I'm going with this at this point but I've discovered I'm a
little to an extent I'll say to an extent how about that because I'm a
switch and it's like some days I'm more of a mommy some days I'm more of a
little as of late and then other days I'm just not really anything I just want
your typical vanilla stuff and that's okay and there's nothing wrong with
that so I don't know yeah see I have to like validate myself to feel okay that I
switch and slide between things I want and all that fun stuff yeah so this is
really rambly I'm like really sleepy but not sleepy enough to sleep you know so I
don't know I hope this provides an interesting experience like I hope this
has been enlightening or interesting or whatever again I you know I know I said
this like twice I'm gonna say it again that if this kind of thing isn't welcome
I understand and I will gladly remove it and put this in the appropriate place
where it would belong but I figured for a change of pace to let you guys in on a
much more vulnerable side of my sexuality the side where I'm not as
certain about a part of me that's undeniably there it's not just a thing
I'm curious about it's a thing that is unmistakably it's always been in me and
it's finally emerging and coming about you know so thank you so much for
listening to these random stupid babbles of mine and maybe I'll make more audios
on this topic in the same babbly fashion but on that same note I hope to make
more audio porn content with more little content in it because yeah I think it'll
be a fun way to explore that part of me and have it satiated so that's about it
thank you again for listening to this I know I was very redundant throughout the
entire thing I'm so sorry I just I tend to repeat myself a lot I always clarify
things in circles I guess but yeah talk to you next time see you