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Hello Gone Wild Audible. So as of right now in Soundgasm this audio is actually

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marked as private so this is exclusive for you guys because it's kind of

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embarrassing and weird and stuff. So I recently came to an interesting

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realization about myself that I kind of wanted to share at this hour of the night

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for whatever reason at the time of recording it is almost 2 a.m. where I am

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hooray. So I've kind of pretty much come to the realization that I have a little

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girl side to me and it's something I'm still easing into it's still something

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that I'm kind of getting comfortable with but I'm noticing lately I'm having

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a lot more fantasies about being pampered and taken care of by like a

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maternal figure of sorts. I say maternal because usually when I have these little

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fantasies I think of other women and they're like my mommies and then I'm

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like the little girl you know so I don't know the interesting thing about this is

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that I do have like a mommy dom side to me though and so it's weird because I

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have both a little and a mommy in me and I question how normal is that although I

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probably shouldn't worry about how normal things are when it's just my

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sexual being you know like I don't think I should overthink it so much but I'm so

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prone to overthinking you know that it gets kind of intense sometimes and then

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you know it can kind of suck but I'm just really turned on by the idea of

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letting go of all of my responsibilities and all of my worries of the day and

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letting somebody just take me in their hands so to speak to take control of my

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mind in a sense and let me feel safe to just be to exist in that little space

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where I don't have to think about anything I just need to really focus on

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them and getting all pampered and spoiled and you know what I mean it's a

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side to me that I kind of want to explore more to be quite honest I've

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kind of had a bad habit of kind of trying to hold back my more submissive

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side but lately I'm feeling a little more submissive than usual and instead

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of trying to hide from it I'm starting to embrace it more whether it be through

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listening to people's like mommy Dom audios or you know cuz I guess I have an

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interesting what what's the slang term is it a catch-22 so you call it I'll

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just say that there is an interesting catch to this whole thing I'm not very

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comfortable with DDLG and when it comes to the big little dynamic with men I

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like the idea of pampering and spoiling them so making like basically so being

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the mommy to a little boy would turn me on more actually whereas with lemon I

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want the opposite I want to be taken care of and spoiled and all that fun

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stuff so typically I seek out like mommy Dom stuff and I've been listening to

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mommy Dom audios I've been whatever well so I've been doing in my spare time I

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just I let myself kind of write out fantasies I have I don't post it

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anywhere I just I like to write stuff that reflects the littleness and fantasies

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I have relating to my littleness and then I I don't know it's just lately

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there's nothing that turns me on more than the idea of just submitting and

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letting go of being the one in charge for a change it's not usual for me

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because I typically like to feel like I have control in a situation so I feel

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safe but lately I'm coming to realize I can be just as safe if I let go of the

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control and give it to someone else that I trust just the thought of being able

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to do that is a huge like holy shit I want that kind of feeling and I think

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it'll take some time before I'm totally comfortable with being more submissive

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and little and small in that sense because again it's not really a side

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that I indulge in very often because it I guess quite frankly it's kind of scary

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to think about giving up control in a sense although I understand in

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situations where you'd be doing things with other people that the submissive

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does have control over what's happening and the whole safer thing and all that

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stuff but I don't know it's just you know how when you start to discover a

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new part of yourself that you know has been in you you don't really know how to

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take it at first but then you start to slowly embrace it kind of thing I'm kind

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of going through that right now yeah it's different I'm not totally used to

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it but it's a side that I'm slowly getting more accustomed to and I'm

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hoping that soon I'll be even more comfortable to make more audios in

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little space I actually did an audio recently quite recently where I was

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masturbating and getting off while fantasizing about being pampered and

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taken care of by a mommy which I may or may not cross post here for context and

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just because it's actually something that's meant to get people off unlike

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this is more just like a kinky ramble kind of thing not really meant to get

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people off I'm not so sure if this kind of thing is allowed or not by the way so

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if it's not I'll take it down and put it in the appropriate place aka I guess my

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subreddit but I hope this is allowed fingers crossed oh gosh um but for me

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I'm learning that letting myself be small to be little to imagine a very

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nurturing and sweet mommy with me admittedly I'm starting to realize that

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through letting my smallness and my little side out more and realizing

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exactly what I want and what I crave and desire I'm starting to embrace myself

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more wholeheartedly I've had a lot of kink and fetish things where I've been

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a little hesitant about totally embracing and I'm still that way about

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one particular fetish I have which I won't name here so it's not to put

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people off or anything but if you look in my post history or whatever it could

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become pretty clear which one I'm referring to gosh but um I'm starting to

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realize that there's no point in living in shame or embarrassment or hesitation

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about who I am sexually because the sexual parts of me are an extension of

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who I am overall as a person and in a lot of respects in my life I am very

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much the maternal type I always take care of people in need I'm pretty much

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like mom number two in my household I take really well I try my best to take

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really good care of you know everybody and in general I just I guess I tend to

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be very nurturing towards people and very warm and caring towards people so

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when I have my mommy side come out it feels very natural and very much like an

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extension of that but also you know despite the fact that I do you know make

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dirty audios like you know the rest of you you know I still have admittedly

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quite a bit of naivete to me I'm still kind of innocent minded in a lot of

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respects I think and you know in addition to that I kind of I have this

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natural sense of curiosity and wonder and I have so many qualities to me that

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are more youthful which you know I guess given my age that's a natural thing you

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know I mean I'm 19 as of this recording so I mean I think that would make sense

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but it's not I don't know how to explain it it's like it feels kind of like the

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wonder a kid feels when walking into an extravagant candy shop for the first

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time or something to that effect and I feel like a lot of these traits manifest

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themselves into my sexual self in a sense and lately it's been manifesting

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in the form of me being a little and I'm still getting comfortable with it I'm

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still not totally confident in it because I have a bad habit of comparing

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myself to others it's something I need to not do right but the thing is for me

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I have a bad habit when I hear other little girls or I see them and I see how

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adorable they are and how wonderful they are for their daddies or their

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caregivers or whatever it makes me feel like well you know am I a valid little

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girl you know because you know I'm a switch I have that mommy side to me but

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I still have that little girl side to me that's you know aching to come out more

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and play in multiple senses of the word it's a lot to grapple with I think and

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again you know I overthink things this audio is a prime example of that I

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overthink things so much but you know I don't know for some reason analyzing

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things like this kind of makes me feel more comfortable with stuff that I start

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to like or stuff that I start to realize about myself and this is no

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exception I'm sorry that this isn't the most like sexual audio given that the

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topic is something more on the kinky side though and kind of offers insight

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into my recent kind of happenings and fantasies sort of themed stuff did any

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that make sense I'm like half asleep basically while this audio doesn't

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really have anything inherently erotic in it and it's really just like a like

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updated ramble diary sort of thing I do hope it's welcome here at gone wild

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audible because if there's any one thing that I think I love about this place

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from what I gather it's a lot less restrictive towards this kind of content

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and it's a pretty important step in my sexual growth so I figured you know

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because I haven't really told anyone about this side of me yet you know

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because like my close friends are very very open-minded people so I don't care

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to tell them about like kinky stuff and quite a few of them know that I actually

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do this as a hobby so I think one day I'll be brave enough to tell them about

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this side of me but I haven't even told them yet because I'm just so nervous

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what might go through their head at first you know so I thought who better

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to tell about this recent realization than you guys and I don't know I don't

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really know where I'm going with this at this point but I've discovered I'm a

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little to an extent I'll say to an extent how about that because I'm a

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switch and it's like some days I'm more of a mommy some days I'm more of a

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little as of late and then other days I'm just not really anything I just want

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your typical vanilla stuff and that's okay and there's nothing wrong with

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that so I don't know yeah see I have to like validate myself to feel okay that I

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switch and slide between things I want and all that fun stuff yeah so this is

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really rambly I'm like really sleepy but not sleepy enough to sleep you know so I

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don't know I hope this provides an interesting experience like I hope this

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has been enlightening or interesting or whatever again I you know I know I said

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this like twice I'm gonna say it again that if this kind of thing isn't welcome

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I understand and I will gladly remove it and put this in the appropriate place

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where it would belong but I figured for a change of pace to let you guys in on a

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much more vulnerable side of my sexuality the side where I'm not as

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certain about a part of me that's undeniably there it's not just a thing

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I'm curious about it's a thing that is unmistakably it's always been in me and

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it's finally emerging and coming about you know so thank you so much for

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listening to these random stupid babbles of mine and maybe I'll make more audios

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on this topic in the same babbly fashion but on that same note I hope to make

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more audio porn content with more little content in it because yeah I think it'll

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be a fun way to explore that part of me and have it satiated so that's about it

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thank you again for listening to this I know I was very redundant throughout the

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entire thing I'm so sorry I just I tend to repeat myself a lot I always clarify

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things in circles I guess but yeah talk to you next time see you