So I'm not sure if this'll be to everybody's taste or not, but I've got a bit of a hurried
clit at the moment, a wetness developing between my thighs. I don't even know why, to be honest,
but my brain, of course, seeking to justify this, has wandered my thoughts down a rather
horny and interesting path, you see. With all the talks about blowjobs on the thread,
I keep thinking about my sir, and how far away he is, and just how badly he wants to
dam his dick down my throat, and honestly, how very badly I want that. So I suppose consider
this a slick and a ramble, because I can't get my mind off of it, so I figure you all
should at least get an opportunity to delight in my personal misery. So if you could probably
tell from the way that my breath shutters, I've been playing with myself this whole time,
just a bit. God, I wish he were here. I really do. I won't get to see him again until April
after that trip to Vegas, because he lives so bloody far away. And no, he doesn't live
in Vegas, he was on vacation there, but fuck. I want it. I want to feel him grab me by the
hair and shove me down on top of his dick. I want him to see how eager I slip and suck
at it. God, I want him to choke me with it, until I can't take it anymore. Oh god. Both
of me want him to smack me around a little bit. If I decide to be a bit bratty, if I play
with him, if I, for example, pull back just before he finishes, because I don't want it
to end. That's selfish, isn't it? For a sub to enjoy sucking cock so much that they don't
want it to end. But I've done it to my partners once I've pulled back just before they were
about to finish. Let them ride the beginning of the orgasm and hear their frustration and
oh god, it turns into such delicious desperation, doesn't it? I'm absolutely not a sadist in
any way, shape or form. I'm very much masochist, but god, when somebody wants me so badly,
then they start to lose control when they forget for a moment that they're human, where
it stops from being lovemaking and turns into pure unadulterating fucking. God, maybe that's
what I'm craving. I want my face fucked. God, I really do want to choke on it. I want to
feel his desire. I want to feel just how useful I am. I want to hear his moans, the way his
breath catches, the way his body shudders, the way his pulse jumps. God, I want to feel
his hands on the back of my head pressing me, Hodo. I want to feel his thrusts. God,
I want it so badly. Normally I'm not a fan of blowjobs into fucking because it can cause
complications for me, but if I made him so mad with my mouth, if I refused to take it
enough or frustrated him so much that he thrust my face into the ground, pulled my ass up
and had his way with me, oh, I wouldn't complain about that either. My pleasure face faced
in the pillow and his up in the air for his enjoyment, getting to spread me as wide as
he wants, or he punishes either of my holes for my impudence, for my selfish desire for
his hoinniness, his desire to keep going. But it'll war with my desire to swallow his
gum, won't it? Filling my vagina with it feels amazing, but knowing that I'm one of those
few girls who actually swallows, knowing how deep down my throat I'll have to go, I don't
know which one I'd want more. Oh, God. I guess what I really want is to be used. I want to
be a toy. Right now, that's what I want the most. I want to know that my master is getting
the most out of me. There are so much worse things he could do. He could drag a blade
along my flesh. I'm stumbling over myself, I'm sorry. Poke me in strategic places, leave
tiny paper cuts, or even slightly deeper gouges. Oh, the danger of that. But it doesn't have
the intimacy, the bestiality, the desperation of a face fuck, or of a doggy-style near-rape.
I want to get him to the point where he's so desperate he doesn't even know what consent
is anymore, where I'm just forced to take it, where I'm overpowered. God. I want to
be wrecked. I want to be utterly destroyed. God, I want it so bad. God, I wish you were
here. I wish you could see how desperately wet I am. You can hear my desperation. I wish
you could see it. I wish you could see how pathetic and submissive I am before you. I
was myself. But I want to fall into subspace. I want to be entirely subjugated at his feet.
I want to worship all of him, his entire body, but most of all his cock, his balls, his lust.
I want to pleasure him so much he whines out. I want to be ravaged so hurt I do, from pleasure
to pain, it doesn't matter. God, I want to be used. I want it. I want to submit. I want
to be useful. I want it. Oh God. I want to be taken against my will. I want to be used.
I want it. I want to be used. Oh my. That must've spiked on the mic a bit. I thought
I lost myself a bit there instead of talking to myself, didn't I?
Guess that shows how desperate I am for dominance.
I can't wait for April.