Oh, Anon. I might not know you personally. I know that that's probably difficult to listen to what I've got to say.
But I also don't want to just give you a bunch of platitudes that you've heard a thousand times.
About how suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I want to be real with you. Sometimes it feels like we can't keep going.
Sometimes it feels like if this life is all there is, there's nothing left.
But that's a lie we tell ourselves.
When you look back at your memories right now, what you're seeing is probably something terrible.
You've probably got this pull cast over everything you've ever gone through.
You've probably got this idea that even the good moments weren't as good as they actually were.
And everything you're thinking is going to amplify all of the things that were awful.
But psychology has taught us that that's temporary too.
There's this big black cloud over everything and it feels like you're drowning, but all of us have been there.
If you need treatment or medication, I know that you're probably in America,
and America's healthcare system is lackluster to say the least.
But there is help. I've been there.
I've laid awake at night wondering why I didn't go and get into my pill bottles and take myself off the list, so to speak.
Even just a couple years ago I thought I'd be nobody.
And yet now I've got a thriving career, I own my own house, I'm stable and happy.
Because I got through those nights and I reminded myself that I had more life yet left to live than I'd even lived yet.
Your life today probably looks very different than ten years ago, no matter how old you were.
Especially if you were a teenager.
And if you were in your 20s or your 30s, if it feels like it's this long continuous mellu,
remember that at any time you can take even one small step to change that.
You can take one small step into something you think might make you a little bit happier.
You can choose to take care of yourself, to get up today even though it's hard, to take a shower, to stretch, to take a walk, to read a book,
to look into that college program and try to figure out how you need to pay for it.
Or if you're in college, to figure out what it is you need to get done, to figure out what you need at the promotion at your job,
or if you don't have one, to figure out how to acquire one.
You can take just a small step to improve what it is that you're feeling right now.
I know it's difficult and non. I know you probably don't have a lot of money.
I know you're probably feeling like the entire world is on your shoulders, but we all feel that way.
We all live in a society that doesn't really care that we exist, and we all feel that.
But I can assure you that there's at least one person on mind that in this very moment is thinking about you.
Maybe not by name, maybe not by face, but at this moment in time I'm speaking to anyone who feels this way.
Because as difficult as it might be right now, I know from having tried from being in and out of the hospital,
there is light on the other side, and even if it feels like there's not a single choice you can make,
even if you were locked up in a basement being tortured, there's still something that you can do.
You can come to an acceptance of where you are, figure out what's in your control and what's not,
take an honest look at what you can do about these things, and take one tiny, tiny step.
If you were locked up in the basement, that step might just be to understand that that's your situation
and to come to terms with it. I know life is difficult to none, but I'm here, and I hear you,
and at least for the moment, you're not alone. You're not the only one who's ever felt this way,
and I don't want you to feel alone. Get out, take that shower, take a brief walk, get out a piece of paper,
list off the things that you need, the things that you want, what you're afraid of,
categorise these things into things you can control and do something about,
and put one tiny action step for each of them, then pick one of them, and do that thing today.
And repeat, if that's all you've got done today, you still took one more step than you would have otherwise.
There's one tiny, tiny, infinitesimal step towards hope, and sometimes that's all you can do.
You can make it a none, I promise.