but they say I will not make it by Rachel Wiley when you are fat and I am
fat the streets are full of soothsayers telling you how you will die they all
seem so anxious for my heart like it's an unattended package at the airport so
I move through the world listening for my heart like it must be a clock
swallowed by a crocodile no a canary that goes silent much too late no they
are certain it is going to attack my heart like a hungry bear on a campground
ripping a zipper down my chest cracking my sternum like a cheap tent pole no I
am not at all sorry for my size so I must be a barge which would make my heart
of fish watched onto the deck gasping flopping slamming scales off its body
like an angry beauty queen ripping sequins from a dress that didn't sparkle
enough to win but then that would make my heart a beauty queen that can't walk
in heels no wait my heart is an hourglass filled with gunpowder and at
any given moment some wild spark is gonna blow me sky-high so I don't know
maybe this is why I love the way I do with teeth and swallow and song and
snarl and water and sparkle and consequence maybe this is why I show up
to your front door out of breath and full of dazzle like this is the last
ballyhoo and nothing at all can wait till the morning forgive me they keep
telling me that my heart is not my heart they keep telling me that I am dying
this may be our last chance