1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,880 All right, that's another one taken care of. Almost done. Let's see what the book says. 2 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:19,640 Okay, 28 couples reaffirming their love for each other. Check. 32 single women. Check. 3 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:26,560 And 38 single men. There we go. Just one name left. Records indicate that he's a single 4 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:34,840 man, and oh, his house is right over there. That's convenient. One more shoot for my bow, 5 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:40,440 one more human wandering off to find his soulmate, and then I can finally get back to my vacation. 6 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:48,640 Oh, how wonderful it is to spread love across the world. I don't see why I had to be the one 7 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:54,400 to get called in. What's so hard about flying above the city and shooting love arrows at people 8 00:00:54,400 --> 00:01:01,280 when they can't even see you? It isn't even that difficult. I'm going to give those stupid 9 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:10,840 cupids a piece of my mind once I'm back in heaven. Oh, hey, I think that's my target. Yeah, 10 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:19,440 there he is. Didn't even have to go find him. Now that's more like it. This day is starting 11 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:26,400 to turn around. Right now, human, just keep walking along like that. Today is your lucky 12 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:40,040 day for love. Study. Aim. Fire. Ha! Bullseye. Don't worry, my friend. You may feel hot and 13 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:45,840 dizzy for a while, but that's normal. Go off and find your soulmate now because I've got 14 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:56,160 a vacation to get back to. Now, where should I...? Huh? Why is he just standing there? Is 15 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:07,160 he...? Is he looking at me? No. There's no way. Nobody can see me. But maybe I should 16 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:17,840 go down and check on him. Nobody has just frozen up like that before. Weird. He's just 17 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:27,040 standing there. Did I use the wrong arrow? No. He doesn't look injured. Is he looking 18 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:36,600 at me? You can see me and hear me. Stop looking at me. You're not supposed to be able to see 19 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:47,040 me. Why can't you see me? Well, yeah, I'm an angel. Gee, what gave it away? The wings? 20 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:56,800 The halo? Well, I'm in jeans and a t-shirt because I was supposed to be on vacation right 21 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:04,800 now. But no. The powers that were be were all like, oh yeah, the cupids can't handle 22 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:09,440 Valentine's Day on their own because we can't keep a schedule at all. And it would be a 23 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:15,640 miracle if they managed to meet this year's love quota. So yeah, I got called into work 24 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:21,840 while I was supposed to be relaxing. So forgive me for not looking like what you expected. 25 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:31,360 Hey, I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off you like that. It's... I know it's not 26 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:39,200 your fault. Well, I'm glad you forgive me, but I don't really know what's wrong with 27 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:45,840 you. I shot over 50 people with love arrows today. You were the last one and the only 28 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:51,720 person who reacted like this. Nobody else could see me, that's for sure. The magic of 29 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:58,760 the bow hides my presence. Um, will you just wait here for a second? Let me consult my 30 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:07,560 training manual. Congratulations on purchasing the Cupitron 3000. You're sure that you'll 31 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,960 have an enjoyable time spreading love across the mortal realms with our easy to use product, 32 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:20,200 blah blah blah blah. Okay, I think this is the section. Okay, listen to this. Simply 33 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:24,720 fire the red love arrows at a human. It doesn't matter where you hit them, the effects will 34 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:29,920 be the same. The target will feel no pain, but they might stumble and suddenly feel hot 35 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:34,640 and dazed. If the human already has a partner in love, they will suddenly feel a great longing 36 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:41,600 for them and will soon head home to find their partner. If the human does not have a romantic 37 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:46,760 partner, the effects will vary between humans. However, one universal result is that all 38 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:52,000 single humans struck with love arrows feel an invisible force acting upon them. They 39 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,480 claim that it will feel like they're being pulled along by an invisible string and they're 40 00:04:55,480 --> 00:05:00,480 compelled to follow it. They will undergo a journey and whenever it ends, they will find 41 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:07,080 their soulmate. Crap, it didn't say anything about humans suddenly being able to see their 42 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:19,040 user. Huh? What did you just say? You think I'm your soulmate? That's ridiculous. It 43 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:30,720 doesn't work like that. Come on. Keep reading. What's the point? Fine. Fine. The book says, 44 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:35,880 we are proud to declare that in over 3 billion proven cases, the love arrows have a successful 45 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:41,200 rate of 100%. However long it takes for a single human to complete their journey, they 46 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:45,880 will always encounter their soulmate at the end. In some cases, this can even allow for 47 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:58,920 love that defies normal boundaries. No. No way. That can't be right. I mean, you didn't 48 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:05,000 even know I existed until just a second ago. You didn't even know that angels and heaven 49 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:13,800 were real. I mean, come on. I am not actually your soulmate. You're probably just confused 50 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:19,760 and saw me for some other reason. Oh, I know. I bet your actual soulmate is just right around 51 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:32,120 the corner. Oh, look over there. That's probably her, right? Oh, no. She's married. Oh, I get 52 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:38,720 it. This is a setup. Okay, where are the hidden cameras? Did the dark angel put you up to 53 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:49,640 this? No, I don't hate you. I just I don't even know you. I mean, I guess you're kind 54 00:06:49,640 --> 00:07:03,080 of handsome. But I what? You want to kiss me? Why should I let a stranger kiss me? It's 55 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:17,360 not even if we really are soulmates. Well, no. You really think that'll work? I guess. 56 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:24,560 I guess that makes sense. Okay. Fine. But if you're wrong about this, I'm going to 57 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:45,200 kill you. Okay. I guess you were right. You really weren't right for the kill there. But 58 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:53,240 there's one thing I need before I believe this. Before I believe that you and I are 59 00:07:53,240 --> 00:08:03,560 actually soulmates. Shoot me with a bow. I'm serious. Here, take it. The love arrow should 60 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:12,040 work on angels too, as far as I know. And, and if I feel all dizzy and hot, then I guess 61 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:18,080 we know for sure, right? It's easier to use than it looks. Just knock the arrow and pull 62 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:47,560 the string back. Do it. Hey, um, kiss me again. Okay, I have no choice but to do it. I'm going 63 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:59,640 to do it now. I love you too. I've never even met you before, but there's no other explanation 64 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:11,520 for this feeling. Looking at you, it makes me really happy. Can we go back to your place? 65 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:34,480 I, I need you. Come on. Let me take off your clothes. Wow. You have a really nice chest. 66 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:44,760 Can I, can I touch you? Oh, you feel really nice. I've never really gotten to examine 67 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:54,400 a human this close before. I love your muscles, your shoulders, your neck. Here, let me take 68 00:09:54,400 --> 00:10:05,040 my top off too. It's only fair. Bra too. Like, like what you see, handsome. I look like a 69 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:22,240 goddess. You really think so? Because I've actually met some goddesses and, okay, I guess 70 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:29,680 you really think so. I think you're pretty gorgeous too, you know? Come on, don't be 71 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:40,720 shy. Explore me. You've never seen an angel before, right? Let alone a naked one. Did 72 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:47,160 my hands feel as good as yours too? That love arrow is seriously strong, even if my skin 73 00:10:47,160 --> 00:11:00,040 is this sensitive. Massaging my breasts like that, it's really good. Hey, do you like my 74 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:11,480 wings? Will you touch them too? That feels really good. Let me unfurl them all the way 75 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:20,040 for you. See how far they extend? Pretty nice wingspan, right? Aren't my feathers just 76 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:26,080 the softest thing you've ever felt? They're awesome, right? Yeah, it's like carrying a 77 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:36,200 blanket with you wherever you go. Now that gives me an idea. Come on, let's get your 78 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:48,320 pants off. I've got an idea. Wow, look at you. Excited, are we? So am I. Here we go. 79 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:55,640 Watch me, okay? I'm going to kneel down in front of you, fold my wings around, and then 80 00:11:55,640 --> 00:12:06,120 reach them towards you. That sounded incredible. I take it you like my feathers, and huh? Do 81 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:16,360 my soft, fluffy feathers feel good stroking your hard, aching cock? Just look at you. 82 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:28,560 Your face is amazing. Moan for me, okay? I want to know how good I'm making you feel. 83 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:37,080 Goddamn, you're getting even harder. Oh, they can punish me for taking the Lord's name in 84 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:46,400 vain later. This is all their fault, though, for sending me here. I can't hold back anymore. 85 00:12:46,400 --> 00:13:15,760 I need to get a taste of you. God, this is unreal. How can you taste this good? Well, 86 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:32,480 I think we're going to need a lot more of those love arrows. You taste delicious, sweetheart. 87 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:42,240 Does this feel good, seeing this beautiful angel on her knees and sucking your cock? 88 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:55,040 You look like you're in heaven. You know we're still on earth, right? Besides, you haven't 89 00:13:55,040 --> 00:14:03,440 seen anything yet. I'm going to start using my wings too, okay? I'm going to suck on you 90 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:32,800 and stroke your shaft with my feathers. Are you ticklish? I hope so. You sound so fucking 91 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:40,400 sexy right now. Keep moaning for me like that. This is really turning me on. I'm going to 92 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:52,800 add my hands too, okay? Your poor balls deserve some attention. There we go. But oh my, what's 93 00:14:52,800 --> 00:15:07,760 this? Your poor balls are so full. You're really pent up, aren't you? Poor thing. Don't 94 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:28,080 you worry. We've got each other now. You don't ever have to go so long again. So give it 95 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:35,200 to me, okay? Stop holding back. I want to take care of you, sweetie. You let me take 96 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:48,320 care of you. Will you give me all of your gum? Come on. Give it to me. I want it so badly. 97 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:59,200 I fucking need to do this for you. Oh god, yes. Moan for me, baby. Moan for me and let 98 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:08,960 it all go. Give me your gum. I'll take all of it. Yes, that's it. Let it all go. Come 99 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:32,560 for me. I want... You did so well. Fuck, you taste incredible. Are you okay? Let's just 100 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:41,840 lie down on the bed for a minute. It's okay. Just get your breath back. I know that was 101 00:16:41,840 --> 00:17:00,800 so intense. Did you like it? A triple threat. Only an angel could give you pleasure so divine, 102 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:12,400 right? Oh, you're welcome, sweetheart. Leave me. That was fun for me, too. You know we're 103 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:21,840 not stopping there, right? I mean, look at you. You're already getting hard again. It's 104 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:32,880 okay if you need another minute. In the meantime, though, you read my mind, handsome. Let's see 105 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:57,840 if your tongue feels as good as your fingers. Off. Your tongue dripping in and out of me. 106 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:13,680 What the hell did that arrow do to me? I think I'm already gonna... Holy shit. Holy shit. 107 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:20,480 Fuck, don't stop. Don't you dare. Oh, it feels like my whole body's on fire. I've never been 108 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:34,880 this sensitive my whole life. Yes. Yes. Faster. Faster, please. Fuck, I'm going to. I'm going 109 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:54,960 to, too, again. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Is this what a sake bus gets to experience all the 110 00:18:54,960 --> 00:19:09,680 time? This is a dream, right? No. No, I definitely feel you poking me. I guess we're ready to 111 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:19,840 go. Come on, then. Take me. Show me how real you are. Show me that we're really meant for 112 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:37,680 each other. Oh, fuck. Oh, you're inside me. Oh, you're burning up too, aren't you? I don't 113 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:49,520 think this fire's gonna go in its own baby. Oh, fuck. Oh, you're perfect. You fit me so 114 00:19:49,520 --> 00:20:02,960 perfectly. Harder. Harder. Harder, please. Take me harder. Oh, God damn it. This is too 115 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:10,480 much. I can't take it. I can't take it. Oh, this is so fucking good. I love you. I don't 116 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:19,680 know how. I don't know why, but I just. Oh, you're just so perfect for me. I really. Oh, 117 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:35,120 I really love you. Please. Please, let's come together. Wait for me. I'm so close. Just 118 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:43,200 a little bit more. Oh, fuck. I'm coming. I'm coming. Come with me, baby. Let's come together. 119 00:20:43,200 --> 00:21:12,080 Come with me. Come with me. Come here. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, you. That's 120 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:27,280 just. I don't even. I don't even have words anymore. Perfect. That's all I can think of. 121 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:54,880 Perfect. Kiss me. We really are perfect for each other. The fire. It finally stopped. 122 00:21:54,880 --> 00:22:04,480 I think the love magic wore off. I guess I'm gonna be staying on Earth a lot longer than I 123 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:12,400 expected. I'll need to work out something with my wings in Halo. Do you think this was planned? 124 00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:15,920 It's not unheard of for angels to fall in love with humans. 125 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:25,040 It makes me think that this entire Valentine's Day understaffing was just a big scheme. Can I 126 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:35,680 stay with you? I'm fine with being just your girlfriend for now. I really don't know much 127 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:44,240 about living on Earth. You don't need to teach me lots of things, okay? Yeah, me too. I think 128 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:54,400 we're really going to be happy together. So, what's your name?