Hi. Look, I've found this small package today just off my side of the porch, and it looks
like it has been there a few days with all the snow and stuff. The label is still fine
though, it's for you. Oh, please don't mention dying me. An Amazon package this time of year?
Come on, wouldn't want to lose that. And you're always so nice to me. You let me hang out
with you when I got locked out, and you helped me with the car. What neighbors are for, eh?
So have a nice day then. Coffee? Tempting. That is, if you don't mind having coffee with
a pirate. I've just recovered from a cold, and I'll make a much better impression when
I finally get my voice back. Sometime in May, I guess. But coffee was literally my dream.
I was dragging all those bags, and I'm a one-trip kind of person, and was like, alright, first
thing I do, I make some coffee, I curl on the couch and binge on Mozart in the jungle,
and screw the dinner. Well, I don't mind if I do, as a matter of fact. I bought this fantastic
pastry and chocolate, let me just wrap them and take the bags inside. Oh, it has been
very decorated since I was over. Nice. This new carpet pattern is great. About time the
landlord changed the carpet. Previous tenants were, well, and they played drums for crying
loud. I'm not kidding. I wish I were. Thank you. Thank you. I'll be fine over here. Mmm.
Great coffee. You are an angel. Thank you. So, holiday season, huh? Still can't tell
whether I love it or hate it. All the hassle, rules, presents. Crazy. Nice lamp. Huh. Wait
a minute. Where do I know it from? My parents had the exact same model, but that's not it.
I mean, I've seen this lamp. Do I sleepwalk or something? I didn't come here at night
with eyes all glassy to have sex with you, did I? Too bad. That was totally inappropriate.
Very sorry. So, this lamp. Let's check. I close my eyes and tell you that, if you look
at it from below, there will be some black wire wrapped around that brass thingy. Did
I get it right? Wow! I should solve crimes or something. I'd suck though. I know it,
but I don't remember how. No, I will not let it go. I feel like an idiot. Let me look
at it again. So, if I lie down on the floor like this and face the window like this. Bingo.
How shall I put this? You don't post on the reddit by any chance, do you? I am not wrong.
The lamp, the blinds, the new carpet. I mean, separately all of these don't mean anything,
but put them together and done. Practically called red-handed, mister. And now I think
I know these hands. Please, don't hide them. They're beautiful. I'd ask you to take off
your jeans to make sure, but that would be completely over the line, right? Right? Believe
me, I, of all people, do not judge you. No, I don't post pictures or videos. I look at
pictures and watch videos and I like. I don't know. This just isn't a thing that a girl
sees a lot of. I mean, when I'm with a guy, he's usually, well, busy doing other things.
And I don't really get to watch, you know? That looks so hot when a guy just loses himself
in it. Breathing in the mouths and the hands just working, working so hard. Just making
himself feel good. Blowing off steam and afterglow and all the chuckles and tasting sometimes
and the cleanup. All so good. And when a guy films himself doing it and shares it, that's
a whole other level of hot and naughty. Hey, well thought. May I help you film the next
one? Please. I'll be nice. I won't try to make your face seen or anything. I just like
it, you know? I'll hold the phone, your phone or your camera and make sure that everything
is in frame and focus and all. May I? Please, please, please, please, please. How is this
weird? I've seen you like a bunch of times, remember? And I liked what I saw. Please,
please. I won't tell anyone. If I do, that would mean that I have this innocent hobby
of watching random strangers jerk off on the Internet. And although it isn't really a big
deal, it still isn't something to be broadcasted, right? Yes. So glad you agreed. Christmas
is coming early. This is going to be so hot. First things first, lock the door, shut the
blinds and turn on this lovely, lovely lamp that gave you away. Now take off your clothes,
please. Come on. Are you nervous that nobody will shoot you naked? And the T-shirt looks
like one of the kind. It'll give you away, so off it goes. Oh god. You should also film
a sort of striptease or something. You're unnatural. Come on. Now the buckle. Damn,
I love that sound. So much promise. And the way you did it now, so teasingly slow. Perfect.
Although when a guy sort of fumbles with it in a hurry, that's perfect too. I just love
the sound of a guy taking off his pants. Let's leave it at that. Now there's the pair. Pull
it down. Down all the way. Yum, yum, yum. So hot. You seem to be
keen on the idea, don't you? Give me those jeans and boxers, you don't want them in the
frame. Socks too. Uh-huh. There you go. Oh, and last but not least, bring the camera.
Yeah, that was the plan. To trick you into going to bring the camera when you are already
named. I wanted the peak of the rear too. Oh yeah. All this looks very good. Hmm, camera.
Right. Where do I push? Got it. No, I won't need Zoom. I'll just come closer when that
may be, you know, necessary. Kneel here, sweetie, will you? The lighting will be much better
like that. Turn a bit to the left, please. A bit more. A bit more. Perfect. And action.
Start, darling. Slow and steady. Just tease a bit first. Show off. Again, it's just a
warm-up, just a taste. Rub the drop of pre-colon to the head. The color though. Perfect. I
thought we'd do a test run first, just to get comfortable around each other doing this.
We'll be filming it, but I'll do some talking, so go ahead. No louder. The video won't be
complete without it. Oh yeah, here comes the good stuff. The way your hand looks when you
touch it. It's grace. Elegant. The way your wrist looks, the way your fingers curl and
like spasm a bit to get just the right amount of pressure. Think of all the girls who will
be watching you, dozens at a time, all over the world, biting their lips, feeling so naughty
with their phones. The hands in their panties working hard, just like you. They don't even
know your name. I bet some girls are watching your other videos as we speak, and hope you
will be making more. It's still like a day then, huh? You are making a new video. We
are. Do you like it? Me shooting the thing for you? Yeah? A hot girl next door with a
camera licking her lips just a couple of feet away from you, watching you jerk off, practically
drinking in your area. Isn't this exciting? I'm so lucky to get to watch it live. I feel
so special. Capturing the magic as it happens. It's a privilege. And this way you can really
focus on your pleasure, on the rhythm, on your fantasy. Not thinking about the stupid
phone slipping out of your hand and breaking. And you know what else is exciting? To see
the number of downloads go up, right? Freaking thousands. And every download meets a new
girl watching you. Or, which is better, some old girl revisiting, just because she liked
it so much. Or even better, if slightly creepy, some lady who has your posts saved to her
favorites to come to again and again. I mean, like, let's say she's been browsing through
all this stuff a lot and it's all worked out, so close, but there's still something missing.
So she goes to her favorites because she just knows that there's your video there. And she
knows that that mountain halfway through it always does things to her. And she knows it's
coming. She heard it so many times and still it pushes her right over the edge and just
slams her lies together. Body confessing and some sort of the eyes still glued to the tiny
screen with your cock on it. And she mourns in time with your mouth drying every mess
in it. She just keeps and keeps replaying the video on loop because just one orgasm.
Come on! Or maybe it's some shy college girl who's completely new to this. A tiny bit scared
because a boy is playing with a thing. Isn't that, like, gross? Do I really want to watch
it? Oh, wait a minute, maybe I do. Oh my god, this is really hot. Is there more? And bam!
She's hooked. Do you want to be somebody's first like that? To introduce them to the
dark side of the Internet? Oh yeah, sweetie, look right into my eyes as you do it. Excuse
me. I look away sometimes just to be sure that I'm still filming what I'm supposed to
be filming. Yeah. Oh, that looks good. May I come closer? What a great angle. Give me
some more of that lovely voice of yours, will you? It's on your mind right now. Don't bother
coming up with, like, sentences. Just a couple of words, please, please, please. I want to
know what images flash through your mind when you pick up the pace like that. Please, please
share. Oh yeah, that's hot. Don't stop. Don't stop talking. Don't stop playing. Give me
some mounts, too. Maybe growl, yeah. Not too bad. We're not filming your face. It looks
fantastic now. Now we lick your lips. Man, oh man. Now tell that girl in your head what
you want her to do. Speak to her. Forget about me, I'm just a camera person. Oh god, that's
so hot. And then, then, then. Oh yeah, this is so hot. If you go much longer like that,
I won't be able to film. My hands are already shaking. We are so bad, aren't we? And you
are so close. Aim here, just past my shoulder. Forget about the mess. Just forget about everything,
but you're covering your hand on it. Come on, give it to me. Come, come for me. Come for
your fans. They have been waiting for quite a while and I have massaged them to this perfect
shot. Please, come on, come on. Yes, yes, there we go. Just like that. Oh, they're still
there. Just a bit more, just a bit more, just a bit more, just a bit more. God. Holy
shit. This was hot. I think I need some time alone now. Thank you for the coffee, for sharing
it with me. It's gorgeous, all godly. If you'll excuse me, I'll go record something myself.
The show here really got me going. Yeah, I lied. I posted and read it too. Well, technically,
I didn't lie. I only told audios. But I'm definitely as bad as you. Santa will bring
us coats. Oh, you want to help me record? Come along then.
