Oh hi! My name is Finding Lady or Rachel or Lady as you like to call me. This is kind
of my first audio I'll be posting on here. I'm going to kind of call it like a postcard
series if you will, where y'all can kind of get to know me and know my thought process
on things and yeah just a little behind the scenes. So to let y'all know what type of
headspace I've been in the past week and sorry I had to pause there for a second because
I have my window open and people are coming up and driving up and saying hi. You could
kind of hear it in it where like the gravel under a tire is basically it. But back to
what I was saying, the headspace that I have been in for the past week and kind of just
to give you an explanation of how I got into GWA, I just got out of a long relationship
about three, almost three years and yeah the whole reason why I got into GWA is because
of a lack of affection and I found affection in the audio that I listened to. Whether it
be safe for work or not safe for work it actually it helped a lot and it was I felt like a goof
because of shenanigans but it was really nice and so I thought you know what that'd be really
cool to be able to do because I've had compliments on my voice before. As I've heard from all
of y'all you think it's quite soothing which is awesome to me. I don't quite see it but
I can understand it. I've always loved making audio type files whether it be singing or
content on Twitch that I used to do, well still kind of do, or things like that. I've
just always loved putting out content and I've been basically a content creator for
the past six-ish years? Six, seven years? And I've loved it. I've loved every minute
of it. So I thought more and more as my relationship kind of drew to an end that you know I want
to be able to put out different types of content and once it did end I found out that I had
to move and the only place that I could move is to my family's ranch area thing. So there
is a good bit of acreage that I'm on. I am out in the middle of nowhere. I do not have
very good internet so that means I can't stream on Twitch. So I, this is, audios are a way
for me to still connect with my community from Twitch. Whether it be safer work ones
that I just send them or not safer work ones that I send on GWA, they are an amazing community
and I'm gonna just, I would gush about them if I could. But since y'all aren't quite
a part of it, or haven't found it yet, I'll not talk too much about it. So my headspace
right now, it is October 11th. I have been posting on GWA for 11 days. I am still freaking
blown away by the response and I never thought I would get that massive of a response. I
thought I'd get like some people like it and other people didn't and I understand that.
That's completely what I thought was going to happen but I didn't think y'all would enjoy
my stories this much. It still shocks me. I'm, yeah. My apothecary stories and my forest
and the prey stories, they are, they're things that are floating in my brain and they've
been floating there for a while so being able to finally get that story out and the loveliness
that is Rin and the witch, oh it's so lovely. I love it. I love being able to finally get
that information out there and I love that y'all like it. I didn't think they all would
but y'all do. So yeah, I'm getting, I'm rambling and I know I'm supposed to be rambling but
oh god I hate when I ramble. Back to what I was saying. Sweet Jesus. If you can't tell,
yes I am ADHD. It hits like a brick sometimes. The reason and the state of mind that I'm
going to be in, as I said, is October 11th. Tomorrow is October 12th, of course, and October
12th would have been my three year anniversary with my now ex and it sucks because I'm very
much in a very bittersweet, melancholy state because I wish that we could have made it
happen. I wish we could have made it work but it just wasn't meant to be and I am actually
surprisingly very much happier out of this situation than I was in and that is not, well
it kind of has to do with him but it was more of how we interacted together that that happened.
So it's a bittersweet moment and I am doing everything I can to distract myself from what's
happening from everything around me in the sense of that relationship. It hurts to talk
to him, I'm not even going to lie. I still have to get in contact with him every now
and then and he's probably going to stay one of my really good friends as long as I can
get over this situation because he's a wonderful person and we were friends before this all
happened so it's just, it's just interesting and it hurts and it sucks and yeah, yeah this
is, this is just a little peek into my life. I'm still very happy, I'm still ecstatic at
everything that's happening, I'm still enthusiastic of everything, it's just reminiscing and letting
myself kind of go through those emotions which I don't like because it causes me to cry and
I hate crying with a passion. I'm getting better at it though, I'm getting a lot better
at it. I'm learning that I can just cry and cry and just let it happen because I'm a very
strong person. I have been through some evil deeds and so crying is okay. I've actually,
this past relationship taught me that. I've actually learned a lot of things in that past
relationship, it was really fun, it was really good, I was happy but just not secure in myself,
happy. And now I am and I'm getting to be a little bit long for this type of audio so
thank you so much for everyone who listens to this. If you want to send me a postcard
back in a way of an audio, please feel free to. I love listening to y'all, I love talking
to y'all. You can do it through an audio or you can do it through a comment or a direct
message however you'd like. But I really just like the thought of being pen pals and giving
updates and it doesn't have to be often. I've been on here for 11 days as I said and yeah,
I've already made so many great friends. Y'all are so crazy, like where the hell did y'all
come from? But I'm so glad that I'm here and yeah, I'm gonna stop rambling, oh my god.
I hope you get back to me, wherever and whoever you are. Have a wonderful weekend, week, day,
whatever. And I will talk to y'all later. Bye!