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Oh hi! My name is Finding Lady or Rachel or Lady as you like to call me. This is kind

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of my first audio I'll be posting on here. I'm going to kind of call it like a postcard

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series if you will, where y'all can kind of get to know me and know my thought process

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on things and yeah just a little behind the scenes. So to let y'all know what type of

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headspace I've been in the past week and sorry I had to pause there for a second because

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I have my window open and people are coming up and driving up and saying hi. You could

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kind of hear it in it where like the gravel under a tire is basically it. But back to

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what I was saying, the headspace that I have been in for the past week and kind of just

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to give you an explanation of how I got into GWA, I just got out of a long relationship

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about three, almost three years and yeah the whole reason why I got into GWA is because

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of a lack of affection and I found affection in the audio that I listened to. Whether it

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be safe for work or not safe for work it actually it helped a lot and it was I felt like a goof

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because of shenanigans but it was really nice and so I thought you know what that'd be really

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cool to be able to do because I've had compliments on my voice before. As I've heard from all

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of y'all you think it's quite soothing which is awesome to me. I don't quite see it but

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I can understand it. I've always loved making audio type files whether it be singing or

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content on Twitch that I used to do, well still kind of do, or things like that. I've

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just always loved putting out content and I've been basically a content creator for

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the past six-ish years? Six, seven years? And I've loved it. I've loved every minute

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of it. So I thought more and more as my relationship kind of drew to an end that you know I want

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to be able to put out different types of content and once it did end I found out that I had

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to move and the only place that I could move is to my family's ranch area thing. So there

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is a good bit of acreage that I'm on. I am out in the middle of nowhere. I do not have

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very good internet so that means I can't stream on Twitch. So I, this is, audios are a way

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for me to still connect with my community from Twitch. Whether it be safer work ones

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that I just send them or not safer work ones that I send on GWA, they are an amazing community

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and I'm gonna just, I would gush about them if I could. But since y'all aren't quite

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a part of it, or haven't found it yet, I'll not talk too much about it. So my headspace

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right now, it is October 11th. I have been posting on GWA for 11 days. I am still freaking

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blown away by the response and I never thought I would get that massive of a response. I

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thought I'd get like some people like it and other people didn't and I understand that.

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That's completely what I thought was going to happen but I didn't think y'all would enjoy

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my stories this much. It still shocks me. I'm, yeah. My apothecary stories and my forest

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and the prey stories, they are, they're things that are floating in my brain and they've

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been floating there for a while so being able to finally get that story out and the loveliness

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that is Rin and the witch, oh it's so lovely. I love it. I love being able to finally get

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that information out there and I love that y'all like it. I didn't think they all would

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but y'all do. So yeah, I'm getting, I'm rambling and I know I'm supposed to be rambling but

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oh god I hate when I ramble. Back to what I was saying. Sweet Jesus. If you can't tell,

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yes I am ADHD. It hits like a brick sometimes. The reason and the state of mind that I'm

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going to be in, as I said, is October 11th. Tomorrow is October 12th, of course, and October

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12th would have been my three year anniversary with my now ex and it sucks because I'm very

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much in a very bittersweet, melancholy state because I wish that we could have made it

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happen. I wish we could have made it work but it just wasn't meant to be and I am actually

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surprisingly very much happier out of this situation than I was in and that is not, well

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it kind of has to do with him but it was more of how we interacted together that that happened.

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So it's a bittersweet moment and I am doing everything I can to distract myself from what's

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happening from everything around me in the sense of that relationship. It hurts to talk

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to him, I'm not even going to lie. I still have to get in contact with him every now

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and then and he's probably going to stay one of my really good friends as long as I can

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get over this situation because he's a wonderful person and we were friends before this all

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happened so it's just, it's just interesting and it hurts and it sucks and yeah, yeah this

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is, this is just a little peek into my life. I'm still very happy, I'm still ecstatic at

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everything that's happening, I'm still enthusiastic of everything, it's just reminiscing and letting

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myself kind of go through those emotions which I don't like because it causes me to cry and

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I hate crying with a passion. I'm getting better at it though, I'm getting a lot better

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at it. I'm learning that I can just cry and cry and just let it happen because I'm a very

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strong person. I have been through some evil deeds and so crying is okay. I've actually,

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this past relationship taught me that. I've actually learned a lot of things in that past

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relationship, it was really fun, it was really good, I was happy but just not secure in myself,

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happy. And now I am and I'm getting to be a little bit long for this type of audio so

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thank you so much for everyone who listens to this. If you want to send me a postcard

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back in a way of an audio, please feel free to. I love listening to y'all, I love talking

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to y'all. You can do it through an audio or you can do it through a comment or a direct

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message however you'd like. But I really just like the thought of being pen pals and giving

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updates and it doesn't have to be often. I've been on here for 11 days as I said and yeah,

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I've already made so many great friends. Y'all are so crazy, like where the hell did y'all

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come from? But I'm so glad that I'm here and yeah, I'm gonna stop rambling, oh my god.

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I hope you get back to me, wherever and whoever you are. Have a wonderful weekend, week, day,

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whatever. And I will talk to y'all later. Bye!