"How Big is that Doggie in the Window?"
...a song parody by Actaeon 

(Sung to the tune of "How Much is that Doggie in the Window?")

How big is that doggie in the window,
The one with the pendulous 'nads?
If I could take that guy for a test drive,
I might not need personal ads.

How hung is that stallion in the stable,
The one with the sheath two hands deep?
Just five minutes' time should be sufficient
To learn if he's one I will keep.

How tight is that pony in the pasture,
The one with the lips of bright pink?
I'd like to partake of her sweet nectar,
Then into her depths slowly sink.