"It Still Feels Like Love to Me"
...a song parody by Actaeon 

(Sung to the tune of Billy Joel's "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me")

(Written and posted 8/23/97)

What's the matter with the horse I'm seeing?
"Well, she's fat and she's drawing flies."
Sounds a lot like the gal you married --
"Well, okay, but at least she tries.
The fact remains you can't be loved by a pony
Although I must admit you'll never pay alimony."
Everybody's saying I should go straight;
I'll wait: it still feels like love to me.

What's the matter with the dog I'm kissing?
"Not a thing if you like dog breath."
I brush her teeth every day, more than you do --
"Well, okay, we've talked this to death.
But hear me out, a love like that'll cause you trouble
Though it ain't for me to be the one to burst your bubble."
Every day a new claim, so lame, what a shame
It still feels like love to me.

Oh, I'll ignore what I hear from the bigots
'Cause I've heard all their words before.
"There's a girl down the street,
One you really ought to meet."
Does her place have a big backyard?
Room for a St. Bernard?

Would it please you if I found an apartment
Where an animal is hard to keep?
"Well, it might, although I'd half expect to find you
On the floor with an inflateable sheep.
A farmer's boy is one thing, you can understand his feelings
But your dad's a CEO and he won't find this appealing."
It's my choice, my voice, don't be mad when I rejoice
It still feels like love to me.

What's the matter with the place I'm working?
"Does the vet know why you're staying late?"
I do my part to keep the patients happy.
"Quit your job and get yourself a date.
You should spend an evening at a local singles bar
Maybe make a baby in the back seat of a car."
Well, dogfriend, horsefriend, I feel no remorse, friend
It still feels like love to me.

Everybody's worried 'cause my lover's face is furry
But she still feels like love to me.