"On Golden Bondage"
...a song parody by Actaeon 

(Sung to the tune of "Under the Boardwalk" by The Drifters. Posted 7/31/96.)

Under the boardwalk,
Where none can see-ee-ee-eeee,
On a blanket with my Golden,
That's where I'll be.

I'll hold her tightly,
And tell her, "Gir-ir-ir-irl,
You're the prettiest retriever
In the whole wide world."

She knows my crooning,
She knows my voi-oi-oi-oice.
I can only speak well of her:
I really have no choice.

For she's my master,
And I'm her sla-a-a-ave.
If I don't do as she tells me,
She will misbehave.

She'll tie my wrists down,
To the boardwalk sla-a-a-ats,
And she'll treat me like a kitten,
Except she sure hates cats.

She'll put on leather,
And dress me up in la-a-a-ace.
Then she'll claw into my nipples
While she licks my face.

Next comes the blindfold,
And the rawhide whi-i-i-ip,
But you won't hear me complaining:
I can't give her lip.

Because the last thing
On her repertoi-oi-oi-oire
Is the sexiest performance
She will do by far.

Down on her haunches,
She'll scoot along my thi-i-i-igh,
And I'll feel her wetness growing,
As she moves it high.

Soon she's atop me,
Sitting on my fa-a-a-ace,
And I eat her out with gusto,
While she sets the pace.

Not to be outdone,
She plays the artful tea-ea-ea-ease:
With the blindfold still around me,
She gives my 'nads a squeeze.

Then she turns tailward,
For a round of fel-la-ti-o.
She digs her teeth into my phallus
But I still say "Ohhhhhhhh!"

Before it's over,
I'll be black and blu-u-u-ue.
But that's the way my lover wants it,
What's a zoo to do?

Chained to the boardwalk,
Drowned by the sea-ea-ea-ea,
Bound and gagged by my retriever,
That's how my dog likes me.

...EVERYBODY SING!

"Chained to the boardwalk,
Drowned by the sea-ea-ea-ea,
Bound and gagged by my retriever,
That's how my dog...likes...me!"