"Closer (to dogs)"
...a song parody by Actaeon 

(Sung to the tune of "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. Posted February 4, 1997.)

You let me utilize ewes
You let me gnuzzle gnus
You let me kiss kangaroos
You let me masturbate moose

Thank you...you freed me from my burden
Thank you...you showed me what to do
Thank you...the only life that's right for me
Thank you for the keys to the zoo

I want to feel the love of animals
I want to know the taste of mare cum
I want a lifestyle full of animals
My whole existence is furred
You let me run with the herd

You can have your human beings
You can have the games that they play
You can have their herpes and AIDs
Just don't take my lifestyle away

Thank you...you threw me to the lions
Thank you...you showed me the light
Thank you...you made me happy
That den mother treated me right

I want to feel the love of animals
I want to get laid by a wolf pack
I want a bedroom full of animals
My vacuum cleaner is clogged
You got me closer to dogs

Deep in the forest...warmed by the breeze
Under your stomach...down on my knees
I drink the milk...between your thighs
You try my body...on for size