"Brown Schnauzer"
...a song parody by "Ed" (submitted to Actaeon via e-mail on 3/21/97)

(sung to the tune of "Brown Sugar" by the Rolling Stones)

Gold haired slacker bound for greener fields
Bored with her boyfriend with the nipple rings
Scared yet hungry, know she's doing all right
You should hear her uttering just around midnight

Brown Schnauzer
How come you taste so good
Brown Schnauzer
Just like a doggie should, yeah!

Seething pumping cold human blood runs hot
Lady of the house hopes it's never gonna stop
House boy knows, but thinks its not quite right
He can hear her uttering just around midnight

Brown Schnauzer
How can you lick so good
Brown Schnauzer
Just like a doggie should yeah, all right!

Now I'll bet your mamma was a tent show queen
And that all her boyfriends were young donkeys
I'm no schoolboy but I know what I like
You can hear me uttering just around midnight

Brown Schnauzer
How come you taste so good
Brown Schnauzer
Just like a doggie should

I say yeah yeah yeah whooooo!
How come you, how come you taste so good
Yeah yeah yeah, whoooooo!
Just like a, just like a brown dog should