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********************="All the news thats/==Updated 12/30/98===\==#
*ZooNews compendium*==fit for zoo's"===/====by Kurt Goafec=====\=#
********************-------------------\[email protected])/=#                   
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Short intro - This is a collection of ZooNews items 1-21, originally 
shown individually on ASB, with corrections and comments. It should be 
remembered that, although every item (except #8) is true, this is not a 
proper representation of the average Zoo. These are those who, for one 
reason or another, ended up in the press archives. Questions or comments 
on existing items should be sent to : [email protected] 
New items should be sent to : [email protected]
The issues and articles here are left open, so if you can help with 
any remaining questions, don't hesitate to write.

*ZooNews 1* - Local sheep shagger
Comment : This cutting was actually from a local paper and, as far as I 
am aware, the culprit has not been apprehended. I do not want to help 
the authorities in catching him, so names and places have been altered.

POLICE HUNT SHEEP PEST
Police are hunting a youth who carried out an indecent act with a sheep. 
Det. Sgt  of  police said the female owner of 
the sheep when she walked into a barn at  at 5.15pm on 
Sunday to find the youngster committing the act. She grappled with him 
and as he fled she tore the shirt from his back. The youth is described 
as white, 16 years old, 5ft 7ins tall with short, wavy hair. Detectives 
would like to hear from anyone who saw the youth, especially as he ran 
from the scene minus his shirt, to call  police on (XXXX) 
XXX-XX.

*ZooNews 2* - I feel like an ass
Comment : Source added.

"Let's face it your honours, it's not every day you catch a naked man in 
flagrante delicto with a female donkey while doing your rounds," a night 
watchman from Ghanzi told magistrates.

"Just after midnight, I heard what sounded like the intermittent 
screeching of brakes and few of us went to investigate. I shone my 
torch, and saw the accused standing behind the donkey, balancing himself 
on the curve of its legs. We all expected him to be ashamed and stop, 
but knowing he had an audience only seemed to spur him on. When I asked 
him why he wanted a donkey when there were so many women around, he just 
shouted out that the women were all refusing him, the donkey didn't 
mind, and anyway it was his donkey and we were just jealous.. The he 
carried on unabashed."

Edward Genge of the Botswana Police Force later told the court that he 
had been asked to investigate the matter. "When I got to the scene of 
the crime I found the donkey lying down. We tried to rouse her, but she 
was exhausted and refused to get up," He said.
(Okavanga Observer April 16th 1993)

*ZooNews 3* - Milking it for all it's worth
"This is a despicable crime, just despicable..." said an enraged judge 
Kenneth Anderson of the Virgin Islands Territorial Court, in passing 
sentence on Juan Hernandez. "I order you to undergo psychiatric 
evaluation, and let me tell you, if the cows milk had been adversely 
affected, it would have been prison."

The court had earlier heard evidence from Andrew Joseph, the farmer who 
had brought allegations of bestiality against Hernandez. "I went to the 
field behind the old Carlton Hotel in Frederiksted just before midday, 
to check on my cows. Gerda was missing so I started looking for her. 
While I was passing the back of the hotel, I heard mooing, so I looked 
through an open window and saw Hernandez with my cow. He was naked from 
the waist down and standing on two tin trays with Gerdas tail in his 
left hand. His right hand was on her back and he was intercoursing her. 
I was so disgusted, I was ill all over a towel rack."

"I will not accept Hernandez's claim that he 'used a condom' as 
mitigation," said Judge Anderson in his summing-up. "However, I do 
accept that the accused had only been tempted to try sex with cows after 
hearing about a similar case. It is a disgrace that Victor Pinero, alias 
Billy Cruz, has not yet been apprehended. The man has become some sort 
of a local hero in the twisted minds of the young, ever since the 
notorious incident with a Senepol calf at Melthrop Farm in April. He 
must be brought to justice."
(The Saint Croix Avis, July 23, 1994)

*ZooNews 4* - Bitch, bitch, bitch!
"Do not be tempted by the lure of easy kwachas," Ellen Muluzi warned 
women in a lecture in the Town Hall, Lilingowe. "Such repugnant and 
stinking behaviour only drags the fine name of Malawi down to the sordid 
level of Zambia."

Muluzi was speaking about the Zambian craze for dog sex videos, which 
has recently spread to Malawi: "Azungus [white men] no longer want sex 
with African women. Instead they prefer to pay the women K500 and ask 
them to have sex with their dogs, while the Azungus film the event on 
camcorders. Zambian women are always being asked by foreigners to 
perform bizarre acts with dogs in hotel bedrooms and they agree, because 
they'd do anything for money and Zambian men don't have any. But our 
women must never sink so low as to have sex with a dog, even if it means 
getting thousands and thousands of kwachas."

Replying on behalf of Zambian women, Janet Karim, editor-in-chief of The 
Independent, dismissed the entire story as "fucking unrealistic. If you 
ask me, Ellen Muluzi is a bit of a dog herself. But it's unlikely anyone 
would pay to have sex with her, or want to video it."
(The Malawi Chronicle, April 26, 1994)

*ZooNews 5* - Oops!
Comment : On July 6th, 1996 a post entitled "Believe it or not! More Zoo
News" by 'Pam' from 'Winter Publishing' gave a story almost identical to
ZooNews 5. Also, the location of the offense was given as Sussex, which
is also where ZooNews 5 took place (Rye and Battle are towns in East
Sussex),  the dog was also named as a terrier and additional information
was given about the defence of the accused and the sentencing.
Note typical lack of detail, in ZooNews 5, due to source being a
'family' paper. 

"It was disgusting," said a deeply shocked Camber couple. "We borrowed a 
camcorder and a tape from a neighbour to record their wedding. As we 
played the recording back at home, all of a sudden we found ourselves 
watching vile scenes of bestiality and filth."
RSPCA inspectors and police later called on a Camber home, and arrested 
a man for an offence involving a terrier dog. The dog has not been 
located
(Rye and Battle Observer, April 2 1993)

The post titled "Believe it or not! More Zoo News" read:
>When the guests at a wedding reception in Sussex sat down to watch a
>video of the proceedings, they were surprised to see pictures of the
>man who owned the video camera enjoying himself, on a bed, with the
>neighbour's Staffordshire bull terrier. His defence in court was that
>he had made it to prove that pornographic films used trick
>photography,  and that no sex had taken place. He received a six-month
>suspended sentence.
No source has been quoted, unfortunately. But, if true, this is almost
certainly a followup to the case in ZooNews 5
!If the authour of this post is reading, and would like to be credited
by her e-mail address, just write to me([email protected])!

*ZooNews 6* - A round up of some short, less recent stories
In 1989, Salt Lake City police apprehended a 22-year-old man at the 
Tracy Aviary and charged him with sexually assaulting and then killing 
an exotic demoiselle crane.

Also in 1989, the Florida Department of Conservation considered 
withdrawing approval for commercial "swim and hug" programs that 
entrepreneurs were running in the Florida Keys in which humans could 
cavort with dolphins. That is because of increased complaints that male 
dolphins were becoming sexually aroused while alongside female 
customers. A Miami secretary reported that one male dolphin had rubbed 
up against her amorously. "He liked me a *lot*," she said.
Finally, an Itawamba County man accused in a string of sexual assaults 
on Lee County horses pleaded innocent to four related charges at his 
arraignment in Lee County Circuit Court.

The man, whose name has been omitted, pleaded innocent to having 
intercourse with an animal, killing a quarter horse, grand larceny in 
connection with the abduction of a Shetland pony and destruction of 
private property in connection with another assault.

*ZooNews 7* - Dire consequences
"By your actions, you have brought ridicule and contempt on yourself," 
Judge Giles Rooke told Anthony Ankhurst in a hushed Crown Court at 
Canterbury. "It is very rare indeed to find this offence committed with 
the defendant putting himself on the receiving end."

Earlier, prosecuting counsel Dr.Oliver had described the events that led 
to the arrest, 45, on a charge of attempted buggery with his family's 
pet Alsatian. "On the evening of the offence, when the defendant 
returned from the pub, his two sons were in bed, and his wife was at 
work. At about 11:30pm, the elder son heard the family dog, Bruno, 
yelping excitedly, so he went downstairs.. There he saw his father, 
naked on his hands and knees, and the dog standing behind him on it's 
hind legs, thrusting vigorously, it's front paws on top of his father's 
back. Realising he had been observed, the defendant claimed that it was 
all part of Brunos training, and advised his son to say nothing to his 
mother. But next day his son told a teacher and, when police started 
making enquiries, Akhurst eventually confessed the truth."

Akhurst, who admitted similar previous offences, was bound over for 
eighteen months. His barrister, Mr.David Burles, told the court in 
mitigation that, since his arrest, Akhurst had lost his job, been beaten 
up in his local pub and, worst of all, now lives alone in Margate.
(Many sources, primarily the Thanet Times 14th June 1995)

*ZooNews 8*
Comment : The main question about this case is the lack of detail. As 
Stasya pointed out, there is no explanation as to how it was ascertained 
that Laura Cantori was having sex with the horse. The source is a trashy 
Romanian paper, so perhaps caveat emptor should be applied here.

Today's ZooNews story is brief, but interesting. It involves Hanibal 
Cantori, a horse trainer from a Bucharest circus,  his wife, Laura 
Cantori, and their stallion, Galbenus.

As reported in many papers, most ghoulishly of all in the Romanian paper 
"Dracula", Hanibal went along to the stable to feed his stallion some 
sugar cubes. Upon opening the stable door, he found his wife Laura 
copulating with Galbenus. She confessed to him of seeking satisfaction 
this way regularly and, in a blind rage, Hanibal strangled Laura with a 
silk scarf before committing suicide. (Surely this must be speculation, 
as if they both died then who could know what happened?)

The paper "Dracula" concludes "Now the stallion is on tour in Holland. 
Desire glows in his eyes. He still waits for the beautiful Laura in his 
stable." and provides a voyeuristic photo of the naked, strangled Laura 
which, to directly quote another, "shows just how far the Romanian press 
has come since the demise of Ceausescu". (sarcasm)
(Many sources, primarily reported in "Dracula" 1st June 1993)

*ZooNews 9* - Gerbil cannonball
Comment : This is a case of life imitating myth. Everyone's heard a FOAF 
story about the practice of 'gerbil stuffing', but this is the first 
documented case I have seen. Do not attempt this at home!

On 06/07/96 I received an e-mail from "The Badger" (an599824) pointing
towards the comic book "Preacher", a comic book published by DC's 
vertigo (mature reader) imprint. He says: 
"It deals with questions of faith and morality. In this book, a redneck, 
bigoted Texan Sheriff named Hugo Root appears as a main character. 
Another character is TC, who likes to sodomize the occassional chicken, 
dog, or even catfish. The coincidence is overwhelming..."

Could the story below be an elaborate hoax? It was not only attributed 
to Bloomsberg News Service August 11th, 1993, but was re-printed in 
slightly different terms (names, places and incidents identical though).
Can anyone shed any light on this?

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only 
trying to retrieve the gerbil," Vito Bustone told bemused doctors Severe 
Burns Unit of Salt Lake City hospital.

Bustone, and his homosexual partner, Kiki Rodriguez, had been admitted 
for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously 
wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Faggot, our 
gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted 'Armageddon', my cue 
that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Faggot but he wouldn't come 
out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the 
light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what 
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame 
shot up the tube, igniting Mr.Bustones moustache and severely burning 
his face. It also set fire to the gerbils fur and whiskers which, in 
turn, ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, 
propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."

Bustone suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact 
of the gerbil, while Rodriguez suffered first and second degree burns to 
his anus and lower intestinal tract. Sheriff Hugo Root later told 
reporters: "It's Faggot I feel sorry for. Being stuffed up some queens 
tradesman's entrance...."
(Primarily from the Bloomsberg News Service August 11th 1993)

*ZooNews 10* 
Israel Zinhanga, 28, appeared in a Zimbabwe court after being arrested 
for having sexual intercourse with a cow. According to Zinhanga, he 
sought sex this way because he was afraid of contracting AIDS from a 
human partner.

After summing up, the court sentenced him to nine months. Zinhanga said 
he was in love with the cow and pledged to be faithful to her during his 
imprisonment.

(Agence France-Press March 2nd, 1995)

*ZooNews 11* - Smash 'n Grab
Comment : This one's not strictly a ZooNews item, but the last bit 
certainly is!

"When we arrived at Gorman's sex shop, we found that the main window had 
been smashed, and the shop had been looted," Police Sergeant Ollie 
Outrim told Palmerston District Court. "We saw two heavily-laden men 
trying to escape on bicycles, so we gave chase, along with several 
members of the public. The two men panicked as they fled, and started 
dropping their booty as they cycled. The items we collected from the 
street included several adult magazines, a blow up woman, a female 
mannequin dressed in rubber underwear, a video called 'ficken nicht zwei 
titten', a box containing two gross of tubes of water-based lubricant, a 
leather tawse, a large drinking mug in the shape of a vagina and an 
inflatable sheep. We eventually apprehended the accused, Patrick Neho, 
although his associate remains at liberty. We have not yet ascertained 
why a sex shop should be stocking a blow up sheep, especially since 
Palmerston North has such a large sheep population."
(Eastern Express February 24th 1996) thanks to V.Smith)

*ZooNews 12* - mare-iage
Angry cowboy Ross Howard of Denver, protesting that men are allowed to 
marry men, was refused a licence to marry his horse. The hitch was a 
technicality; the law says three year olds need parental consent.
(Daily Record 28th September 1992)

*ZooNews 13* - wanna play chicken?
"When I saw what vile things he was doing to the chicken, I became like 
a man possessed. It was her honour I was protecting, your honour," 
Ibrahim Alkan told a Turkish court.

Alkan, a 30-year old poultry breeder from Antalaya, had discovered his 
neighbour, 80 year-old Hasan Ank, in the act of raping his favourite 
chicken. "It was a vile sight to behold," Alkan explained, "and he was 
even doing it in front of her baby chicks. I broke his head with a 
bottle, but he did not stop. So I stabbed him sixty-five times with a 
knife I kept beside be for husking millet."

Ank left the courtroom screaming the native proverb "he who knows the 
female hare, the hen or the tame pigeon, God bring him no absinthium" 
and was taken into custody. The chicken was sent to the provincial 
veterinarian directorate, and was detained for further treatment."
(Turkish Daily News August 6th, 1993)

*ZooNews 14* - going sheep..
Comment : this one is *funny*.
A couple were invited to buy an inflatable sheep sex-aid after answering 
an ad for rechargeable batteries in the Daily Telegraph. They received a 
personally addressed mail shot headed 'Luv Ewe' and quoting a price of 
seventeen pounds ninety-five pence.

A drawing was accompanied by a description: "She has been developed 
after years of research into how to bring the joy of sheep into your 
love-life without the obvious problems of a real sheep. No bleating to 
alert the neighbours. No risk of ruining your prize lawn."
The couple were not amused, complained to the Advertising Standards 
Authority, who upheld the complaint against VIS of Bethnal Green. They 
were unable to contact the firm.
(Guardian [UK] 13th May 1992)

*ZooNews 15* - Love boa killed by mouse....

Ilona Staller, one-time Italian MP and porn star using the stage name La 
Cicciolina (I'm sure you've come across her work...so to speak), has 
lost one of her oldest partners. Tinto, a pet boa constrictor, for seven 
years played an active role in her erotic 'spectaculo'. Last Autumn, he 
swallowed a mouse provided as a light snack.

The following morning, the mouse had re-emerged, slightly dishevelled. 
There followed a weeks stand off, the two creatures ignoring each other, 
with Tintos health rapidly declining. On 17 October 1993, the mouse 
killed Tinto with successive bites to the head. "I loved this serpent," 
said a distressed Cicciolina. "It was a very innocent, love-ful animal."
(Daily Telegraph 21st October 1993) [must have been a slow news day]

*ZooNews 16* - Been caught porking

Kofi Ntiamoah, an unemployed copra harvester from Ho, was charged with 
gross indecency. During his defence, Ntiamoah broke down and pleaded for 
the courts forgiveness: "I have been doing this thing for some time now" 
he confessed, amidst laughter from the public gallery, "but no-one 
suffers, because I do not do it raw. I always use condoms. I prefer 
making love to a pig rather than a women, because I have been unemployed 
for three years and cannot afford to maintain a girlfriend or a 
bicycle."

(More than one source, primarily the Ghana Voice August 1995)

*ZooNews 17*
Comment : The "Zoophilia law and history PIP" can be found on Stasyas 
Zoopage on the world-wide web (http://www.av.qnet.com/~stasya) and is 
posted in ASB on the eighth of every month.

This case is also covered in the "Zoophilia law and history PIP". Here 
is my additional information:

The notorious case of animal rights campaigner Alan Cooper and his 
actions concerning Freddie the 12ft bottle-nosed dolphin of Amble in 
Northumberland is a case we are all probably aware of. The case reached 
court, and on 13th December, 1991 at Newcastle Crown Court, Mr.Cooper 
was cleared of all charges. Afterwards he told reporters : "I will 
continue my mission to see that captive dolphins at Flamingoland and 
Windsor are returned to their natural home in the open sea."
Present at the trial was the owner of the aforementioned Flamingoland 
park in North Yorkshire, Peter Bloom. Mr.Bloom had complained about 
Coopers behaviour with the dolphin before.

The whole case hinged on how wild male dolphins used their sexual organs 
in a non-sexual manner. The jury heard evidence for experts that mammals 
such a Freddie used sex organs to "explore their environment", to greet 
other creatures, and to hook the legs and arms of human divers in order 
to tow them through the water.

Auberon Waugh, a commentator for the Daily Telegraph (There it is 
again!), commented on December 14th : "I never thought [stimulating 
animals] was an offence. The entire beef industry in this country is 
based on the artificial insemination achieved by the masturbation of 
bulls."

Another correspondent (Mike Jay) noted that a tribe from Papua New 
Guinea, on a particular day each year, mate en masse with a shoal of 
dolphins that regularly show up for the event. He also told of how the 
white freshwater dolphin of the Amazon has mated with humans, especially 
women, since time immemorial. He Proposes that our 'special 
relationship' with dolphins may have a sexual side, suggested and/or 
aided by the similarity of our sex organs: "It also provides a 
tantalising suggestion as to the origins and cultural universality of 
the mermaid myth."
(Daily Telegraph, Independent 10-14 December 1991 and FT February 91)

*ZooNews 18* .....both need a tight seal

Michael Hale, 19, was windsurfing in a wet-suit near his home on Walton-
on-the-Naze in Essex, England, when he was attacked by a frisky 30-stone 
bull seal which mistook him for a mate and tried to get on board.
Hale hit the water to scare it off, which made it roar in excitement. 
The courtship lasted an hour and a half before Hale could get ashore. 
(An HOUR AND A HALF??)
(The Sun, January 7th 1991)

*ZooNews 19* - Ram Raid

"Is there no justice in Taita Taveta?" demanded Peter Wambugu in 
Nyahururu central court. "You accuse me of wickedness, but if I'd killed 
the sheep and sold it to the butcher, you'd all have queued up to buy a 
bit."

Inspector Odhiambo, prosecuting, told the court how Mugo, who was 
accused of abducting a sheep and having carnal knowledge of it, had been 
caught in flagrante delicto. "The defendant left his four sheep grazing 
but, on returning later, found only three. Searching in a nearby copse, 
he found the sheep tethered to a bush, with the madman Mugo standing 
behind it, naked, singing a lullaby and thrusting in time to the music. 
The alarm was raised and he was overpowered by furious members of the 
public."

Defending himself, Mugo told the Senior Resident Magistrate, Mrs. 
Manjiru Karanga, that he decided to go with animals because he could no 
longer afford VD treatment. "Five times I go with women, five times I 
get VD" he declared. "It is time people realised that animals are safer 
and cheaper."

Mugo also pleaded not guilty to a charge of urinating in an ashtray in 
Barclays Bank, Voi Town, claiming that he had a weak bladder and was 
being held prisoner by the bank manager at the time. He was found guilt 
on all counts, fined Sh800, and sentenced to two years imprisonment plus 
two strokes of the cane.
(Kenya Times October 23rd 1993) Thanks to V.Smith

*ZooNews 20* Contributed by Doglover
Teenager faces bestiality charge

Kuwait City, Dec 11: Police are investigating an incident involving a
teenaged boy who is allegedly to have had sex with a billy goat. 
A Bangladeshi watchman at a livestock pen in Jahra Area said that he
accidentally witnessed an 18-year-old having sex with one of the goats
inside the pen. 
The watchman immediately reported the encounter to his employer. 
The watchman and his employer, according to a local Arabic daily, rushed
to interrupt the proceedings and save the goat. In the process , the
employer is also said to have witnessed the teenager committing the act. 
The teenager was then taken to Jahra Police Station. On the way he began
pleading with the owner of the pen to release him. He also promised not
to return to the pen again. 
However, the pen owner insisted on taking the teenager to the police
station where he faces possible legal action if the charge against him
is proved. 

(Arab Times Daily Newspaper December 16th 1995) 

*ZooNews 21*

YOUTH ON SHEEP CHARGE

A 16-year-old youth yesterday appeared before a special sitting of
Wantage magistrates' court in Oxfordshire after farmers allegedly found
him naked in a field among a flock of sheep.

The youth, who cannot be named because of legal reasons, was charged
with a serious sexual offence and breach of the peace. He was released
on bail. The alleged incident happened between Uffington and Woolstone,
near Wantage, on Sunday.

(The Guardian December 29th 1998)

This rather naive, piece of journalism from the upmarket British 
Observer was re-produced with ZooNews 12:

"ANIMAL PASSIONS - Breaking taboos, as any Edinburgh Fringe production 
knows, usually means a smattering of publicity, but there are precious 
few taboos left to break these days. Yale doctor Sherwin Nuland did 
death earlier this year in his runaway best-seller 'how we die'. To find 
any remaining sexual taboos, on the other hand, is a thankless task. 
Nudity, masturbation, homosexuality and sadomasochism are all pretty 
much blushless subject matter for today's' punter. But how about 
bestiality?
'Dearest Pet, On Bestiality' by Midas Dekkers (Verso) was published in 
Britain earlier this summer, but has so far failed to engage the 
lucrative repressed-interest market here. In Holland, by contrast, where 
the subject "Though controversial, can be raised in public without 
without complete dismay or total denial", the book has been a smash hit, 
which proves yet again what a broad-minded lot those Dutch are.
Still, is bestiality really a taboo? It's true that the 1948 Kinsey 
Report revealed that eight per cent of men and 3.5 per cent of women had 
enjoyed Biblical knowledge of an animal, and the figure for American 
rural workers was put as high as 50 per cent. Add to that what Dekkers 
sees as a long cultural tradition of latent bestiality (from Leda and 
The Swan through to luxury cat food adverts) and one may well ask: what 
are we hiding?
Probably nothing. There are arguably three kinds of taboo. First, the 
things we do because we are told we shouldn't. Second, the things we do 
because there really isn't much else to do (cf American farmworkers). 
And third, the things we don't do because we just don't want to, even in 
our heart of hearts, even in Holland. Perhaps bestiality falls into the 
last category, and perhaps the final taboo, the thing we can't bring 
ourselves to admit, is that there are no taboos"

(English Observer Life magazine, August 28th 1994)
-- 
Kurt G.