How To: Horses
This faq has been slightly reformatted by Valadan. All information is still present, I have merely
cleaned it up a little for web viewing. Enjoy!
Alt.sex.bestiality P.I.P.s, Version 1.01, Revised 15 June, 1995
So-o-o-o, maybe you've thought about trying to make it with a
stallion... after all, they sure look like a good time. Here's a few tips
on how to make the experience more rewarding for both of you.
-
Find a stallion: preferably somewhere where no one will hear him
grunting and snorting, and come to investigate...Older stallions are
better; they are more sensible, and less likely to spaz out and hurt
someone. Don't even bother with the ones who are half-crazy already, they
only get worse when stimulated.
-
The Approach: Quietly walk up to about 10' from him and stop. Let him
come to you to investigate. Move very slowly, so as not to startle him,
and let him sniff you over...gently pet his neck and withers and murmer
encouraging words -win his trust-. At this point it is helpful to smell
like a mare in heat...it does wonders for their libido.
-
Smell like an estrus mare: Find a mare in heat, usually 5-6 days out
Of every 21 (I know it aint that easy). Approach as in 2) above...pet her
flanks and work your way slowly back to rub her tush, and base of her
tail. Watch her ears...if she resents this contact she will flatten them
back, and swish her tail...further pursuit could lead to being kicked. If
the mare does not seem to object, Gently dip a finger into her vulva,
getting her natural aroma on your hands...some mares will not cooperate
and move away from the contact... remember, that is their choice. If the
mare tolerates your advances, continue to massage her privates...if she
really responds well (by raising her tail and squatting), you can
try...oh, yeah...that's for the next section, How to have
more fun with your mare!
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Restraint: yes, it's a good idea. Some studs get overly excited and
react by kicking, biting and/or trying to mount you, all of which are no
fun unless yer into S and M too...(although a quick nip on the rump can be
fun). Take a halter and lead rope and tie him to a stout object using a
slipknot...you do know how to tie a slipknot, don't you? If not, see yer
local cub scouts for lessons. The reason for the slipknot is to be able
to release him instantly if there's a problem.
-
The Rub: Let the stallion smell the nice, fresh mare odor on your
hands- he should respond with snorts, whinneys and (hopefully) an
erection. Starting with his neck, pet him gently, massaging his withers
and slowly working your way back to his belly and privates. Some studs
will get kinda twitchy at this point, swish their tails and kick- stay
close to his body, and away from his rear to be safe...avoid being mashed
into the stall walls by his body. If he starts to act up quit
immediately, calm him down, and start again from the beginning of this
step.
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Clean and Jerk: Unless the horse is seeing active service his penis is
probably covered with a layer of smegma, dead skin flakes, etc...it
doesn't taste great, nor is terribly useful for lubricating purposes.
Wash him up with clean water or -gently- rub the accumulations from his
shaft. Apply lube.. K-Y works well. I've found its best to rub the shaft
till he's fully-erect, then transfer your attention to the head of the
penis. Maintaing a steady pressure on the sensitive glans penis, let him
do the thrusting...they usually won't come unless they can thrust-meet his
strokes with your own movements. Use your own shameless imagination from
this point...again being careful of kicks, love-bites, etc.
Helpful tips: Stallions
-
Wear steel-toed boots to protect your toes from being stomped on.
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Most Stallions quickly learn to enjoy this stuff, and will come to bug you
for more in the future. If they resent this type of contact, don't try to
force it or you risk getting creamed...I've seen 'em kick a stall door
clean off its hinges
-
A little lube is helpful...i usually carry a 3:2 mix of KY and water in a
contact lens cleaner bottle... a little more discreet than big tubes of
KY.
-
DO NOT get under him or stick yer face down there unless you absolutely
know and trust him...some stallions will try to lie down on top of you
(squii-i-ish!), or kick suddenly and cost you a lot of expensive dental
work.
-
Wear a safety helmet- I know it sounds weird, but their hooves are like
rocks and can easily crush your skull. A broken head can ruin a
friendship, so its a good idea to wear a helmet (of course, if you get
caught playing with him you'd look REALLY SILLY wearing a helmet but
"better safe than dead" Ialways say).
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Did he come? Well, when a staliion comes, the tip of his penis (the
glans) swells up (flares) into a mushroom shape the size of your fist or
bigger... he'll thrust a couple more times then ejaculate 3-4 ounces of
semen with enough force to shoot 5 feet. His semen is whitish and runny
like eggwhite... do not confuse with pre-ejaculate, which is watery and
clear....he will drip copious amounts of this before he comes.
NOTE: Those of you into anal/vaginal sex...do NOT attempt to put his
penis into you unless you can already accomodate something the size of a
human arm and fist...you risk rupture, and peritonitis if he's too big
(plus it'd be real hard to explain what happened to the emergency room
staff :>)
ALWAYS REMEMBER: A stallion is an unpredictable animal...he may be fine
one minute, then explode into 1200 pounds of biting, kicking horseflesh.
He may be enjoying himself but he doesn't know his own strength and can
disable or kill you without meaning to. If you aren't familiar with the
proper handling of equines I strongly urge you to find someone who does to
help you the first time (I know that's tough to do, but its for both of
your safeties).
DISCLAIMER: I've been having fun with equines for 14 years, and I've
never been hurt badly...just bruises, ya gotta play by their rules...This
Guide is not meant to be all-encompassing. The author of this article
DOES NOT encourage you the reader to to perform illegal activities
(including trespassing) in the pursuit of your pleasure.
Well, maybe you tried the stallion, and mebbe you haven't. This article
is for those of you who might be interested in mares, but haven't had the
opportunity to make the most out of the situation...
-
Find a Mare: Easier said than done, sometimes! Locate a likely
recipient to your advances and get to know her...spend lots of time
scratching her withers and tickling her, share breath and build her trust
with you-even the most receptive mares won't have anything to do with
someone they don't feel at ease with. Get to know her on a more personal
level.
-
Determine if she's in heat: Most (not all, but most) mares are totally
unreceptive to sexual advances when they are not in estrus. In mares the
cycle is 21 days on average...16 out, then 5-6 days in, with the mare
getting progressively more "hot" till she ovulates and goes out of heat
about 12 hours later. Most mares will not go out of their way to show
estrus signs to humans unless already accustomed to sexing with them. The
best way to get her to show signs is by exposing her to a stallion or
particularly randy gelding. This is caused "teasing" the mare in the
breeding business, and is when the stallion does his screaming, snorting,
prancing thing to show off...just like many college freshmen. The estrus
mare should respond by raising her tail, squatting and emitting a stream
of urine. She will also "wink" at you...by contracting her vaginal
muscles and exposing her clitoris. Wink...wink...wink. ..you get the
idea. The clitoris in the mare looks like a half-dollar-size replica of
the stallions glans penis...it is located at the bottom of the vaginal
opening. The mare will usually stand quietly in the squatting position
until bred.
If the mare responds to the stud by laying her ears back, biting, kicking,
etc. ..it's a pretty safe bet to say she's not in heat and you should try
again later. Since some folks don't have access to stallions, there are
some other signs of estrus including:
-
Their labia tend to get fuller and looser...if you pull them
apart (carefully, don't get kicked!) you will see that the vaginal
lining is cherry-red, in contrast to its normal ruddy pink color.
There will also be greater-than-usual amounts of lubrication
present.
-
The cervix is loose and drapes down in folds when in
estrus...when not, it's tight and budlike in appearance...
(this one's no good unless you have access to and know how to use
a vaginal speculum...ask yer vet to show you a cervix sometime...
it looks like a little pink flower).
-
Some inexperienced mares will even respond to a human's
advences if you can role-play well...sniff at her rump, snort,
"bite" her flanks by pinching gently (or just go on ahead an' bite
her!), tickle her and massage her external genitalia...mebbe
gently insert a finger or three...if she responds, then she's
ready -if she puts up a fuss or tries to walk away then leave her
be. She's obviously not interested, and further attention of that
nature will probably just piss her off and make her resent future
advances. However, if she seems to like what's going on you may
then...
-
Proceed with Caution: Lube up and. using your fingers, tongue or any
other portion of your anatomy that feels good to you both, proceed to
pleasure her... move in and out of her with deep, slow strokes. I have
noticed that the "hot spot" in mares is not the clitoris, but about 2-3
inches in on the bottom wall of the vagina just anterior (towards her
head) to the urethral opening- they respond very favorably to massage
there. It is possible to (gently!) insert your arm into her and slowly
fist her, feeling how beautifully warm, soft and slippery her pussy is (my
mare LOVES this). When they are ready to be bred they will usually be
quite loose inside, and it's possible to reach all the way to the back
wall of the vagina and her cervix. As you stimulate her she will then
begin to slowly clamp down on your arm with her vagina. Move with the
contractions and you will find her squeezing harder and harder as she
approaches orgasm (yes, contrary to some studies I've read, mares DO
experience orgasm, and how!). She will often squeeze with enough force to
push your arm right back out...don't try to jam it back in or you could
injure her...just continue to use your hand to massage the vestibule of
the vagina as she contracts harder and harder. At this point my mare will
usually begin to grunt in time to the contractions (sounds like OOOF!)
until her climax is over, then she will pull away. Maregasm is usually
accompanied by a stream of urine and natural lubricants, so be careful not
to get soaked unless you're also into water sports. Personal note for the
morbidly curious: I usually work my mare with my hand to the point where
she starts to contract, then climb on up and use my penis to finish the
job...it feels great when they clamp down...they have amazing muscle
control.
When they are done coming they will usually pick themselves up and move
away for a bit, then be ready to go again in five minutes or so. I have
whiled away many a happy hour bringing my mare to orgasm over and
over...they have incredible stamina and it's fun for both of us. When
you're both done, give her a pat on the neck, thank her and talk nice to
her- don't just take what you want and leave...cuz if yer nice she'll
remember you and be even more receptive next time.
Helpful tips: Mares
-
Wear heavy boots to protect your toes.
-
Keep in close to her body...if she decides to kick you'll be harder to
hit, and you can feel her tense-up before she decides to let ya have it.
-
It's a _real_ good idea to wash your hands and the mare's pubes before
you go putting things into her...dirt/feces can carry bacteria that can
cause her some real problems...use a mild soap like Ivory(tm) Liquid, and
plenty of clean water to rinse...most mare's natural defenses can take
care of the problem on their own, but there's no sense taking risks with
her health if they can be avoided.
-
File your fingernails short n' smooth...a mare's vagina is very
delicate, and it's easy to injure her if you're not careful. Don't put
any foreign objects in her, either...no carrots or anything like that!
-
NEVER, EVER stick anything into/through her cervix- you can give her
a nasty uterine infection, and if she=D5s pregnant breaking the cervical
plug means a high probability of aborting the foal, as well as
complications for the mare.
-
In the Northern Hemisphere about 90% of mares will go completely out of
heat between the months of Nov-Mar. This is called seasonal anestrus, and
is a natural response to a decreased photoperiod. Putting them under
artificial lighting can help hasten return to normal estrus cycles...there
are a number of good texts on the subject.
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Oh, yeah...If she's a big mare, you will need a bucket or stool to
stand on. ..of course, you knew that :>) dodges thrown tomatoes
-
Be careful not to get hurt...horses can be unpredictable.
DISCLAIMER:
This Guide is not meant to be all-encompassing...Mail me if
you have questions. ..The author of this article does not encourage you,
the reader to perform illegal activities (including trespassing) in the
pursuit of your pleasure.
BE SAFE--BE CONSIDERATE--HAVE FUN
Written by Equuinox