=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Alt.sex.bestiality P.I.P.s, Version A-01-01-12
[Zoophilia in Music and Art]                         Revised January 12, 2001
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[ Contributors to this section are listed at the end of this document. ]

Welcome to the PIP with culture!  Please excuse the mess as this section
will always be under construction.  If you have a contribution for this 
section, or you would like to do research on a topic covered in this 
section, please contact Actaeon ([email protected]).

=================================[A - MUSIC]=================================

1 - Vintage Vinyl
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

o-- Beatles, "Dig A Pony"
    ["Let It Be," EMI Records] 
    "I-I-I dig a pony,
     Well you can celebrate anything you want.
     Yes, you can celebrate anything you want."

o-- Disturbingly Lonesome Cowboys, "Ol' Blue"
    ["Diesel Dykes Of Dixie," Ghostdancer Records]
    "I came into the house, just as still as a mouse,
     filled with a burnin' dread.
     What was eatin' on me, was your cheatin' on me,
     there was red hair in my bed.
     I kinda figgur'd he'd be stonger and bigger,
     I had some prints to this warty ol' frog.
     But the least I'd 'a thought, when you were caught,
     you'd be humpin' my huntin' dog.

     Honey why'd ya fuck Ol' Blue?
     What'd he ever do to you?
     He was a good ol' pup 'til you fucked 'im up.
     Why'd ya fuck Ol' Blue?  Honey, why'd ya fuck ol' Blue?"

o-- The Dayglo Abortions, "Two Dogs Fucking"
    ["Two Dogs Fucking / Deux Chien Fourrent," Fringe Product, Inc.]
    "The mayor of Nipean went for a walk in the park
     to admire the beauty of his man-made nature.
     He came upon a site that made his blood run cold
     So he called upon the Mighty Lord to help him with his foe,
     it was

     Two dogs fucking,
     stuck ass to ass,
     entwined in bestial romance!

     It was obscene so he called the police.
     They sent an officer named Jim Fitzgibbons.
     They came up with a plan that involved a bucket of cold water
     to be thrown on the fornicating demons,
     but they had to face

     Two dogs fucking,
     stuck ass to ass,
     entwined in bestial romance!"
      
o-- Wynonie Harris, "Keep On Churnin'"
    ["Bloodshot Eyes, The Best of Wynonie Harris," Rhino Records]
    ["Risque Rhythm; Nasty 50's R&B," Rhino Records]
 
    "Keep on churnin' 'til the butter comes.
     Keep on churnin' 'til the butter comes.
     Keep on pumpin make the butter flow,
     Wipe off the paddle and churn some more.

     Little Boy Blue come blow your horn,
     Cows in the meadow, the sheep's in the corn.
     Take the sheep, leave them be,
     Bring the finest brown cow to me.

     CHORUS
 
     How now, brown cow, keep on eatin your hay,
     Go in your shed, be sure you're fed.
     Go in your shed, be sure you're fed,
     Daddy needs butter for his shortnin bread.

     CHORUS

     Ooo now, milk cow, keep on swishin your tail,
     Don't kick over the pail.
     First comes the milk, then comes the cream,
     Takes good butter to make your daddy scream.

     CHORUS

     I wanted some butter one day,
     Fine brown cow came my way.
     We kept on pumpin",
     Butter came jumpin.
     I'll milk you, cow, 'til my pail is full,
     Look out, heifer, here comes your bull!"

o-- Lee Dorsey, "Ride Your Pony"
    ["A History of New Orleans Rhythm and Blues," Rhino Records]
    "Ride your Pony,
     Get on your pony and ride.
     Ride your Pony,
     Get on your pony and ride!  Oh you're ridin' high.

     Get ready now shoot, shoot, shoot."

o-- The Galaxies and The Regulars, "Ride Your Horse"
    ["Land Of A Thousand Dunces," Candy Records]
    (Whinney)  "Ride your horse!
     Who's gonna ride horse? (women's voices)
     We're gonna ride horse! (men's voices)
     We want a tame horse! (women's voices)
     We want a wild horse! (men's voices)
     Ride your horse a little while, (women's
     you can do it cowboy style.      voices)
     Everybody's gonna ride horse!"  (all together)
    
o-- Kinky Friedman and The Texas Jewboys, "Asshole From El Paso"
    ["Old Testaments and New Revelations," Fruit of the Tune]
    "We don't wipe our asses on ol' glory.
     God and Lone Star Beer are things we trust!
     We keep our women virgins 'til they're married.
     So ho's and sheep is good enough for us.

     And I'm proud to be an Asshole from El Paso,
     place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
     You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos,
     and the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour."

o-- Johnny Bucket, "Let Me Play Wit' Yo' Poodle"
    ["Sin Alley, Part One," Crypt CD]
    "Now your little poodle look kinda cute an' neat,
     I wonder what it'd do wit' some home fried meat.

     I wanna play wit' yo' poodle.
     Please let me play wit' yo' poodle.
     I wanna play wit' yo' poodle,
     I mean your little poodle dog."

o-- P.D.Q. Bach, "Missa Hilarious" by P.D.Q.Bach on
    ["Portrait of P.D.Q.Bach," Vanguard Records]
    "Angus Dei!
     Angus Dei! 

     She looks so nice just standing there,
     All covered with the dew.

     Angus Dei!
     Angus Dei!

     She's the prettiest cow I've ever seen,
     And I have seen a few!"

o-- Pearl Jam, "Animal"
    Album: "Vs."
    "I'd rather be with an animal."

o-- Def Leppard, "Animal"
    ["Hysteria," PolyGram Records, Copyright 1987]
    "And I want, and I need, and I love, Animal."

o-- Front 242, "Zoo Animal"
    [Album name and label unknown]
    "When I look in the mirror, 
     all that I see is a zoo animal that wants to be free, 
     just get away, get away from me,
     'cause I'll never be who you want me to be."

o-- Paul McCartney, "Jet" (Written for a female dog)
    ["Band on the Run", probably Capitol Records]
    "Our maker, I want Jet to always love me.
     Our maker, you know I want little Jet to always love me.
     Our maker, I wouldn't trade her...
     Sufferin' Jet!"

o-- The Beatles, "Martha my dear" (also written for a dog)
    "Take a good look around you 
     And you will see 
     That you and me 
     Were meant to be 
     For each other 
     Silly girl."

o-- The Byrds, "Chestnut Mare"
    ["Untitled," Columbia records (LP G-30127 / 45 4-45259)]
    "Always alone; never with the herd.
     Prettiest mare I've ever seen;
     Have to take my word.
     I'm gonna catch that horse if i can;
     And when i do i'll give her my brand;
     And we'll be friends for life;
     She'll be just like a wife.
     I'm gonna catch that horse if I can."

o-- Phish, "Llama"
    [Album name and label unknown]
    (Lyrics unavailable)

o-- W.A.S.P., "Animal (Fuck like a Beast)"
    ["Animal (Fuck like a Beast), label unknown]
    Lyrics unavailable.  
    W.A.S.P., which stands for either "White Anglo Saxon Perverts" or 
    "We Are Sexual Perverts" depending on who you ask, built a reputation 
    for anything-goes 'psycho drama' stage performances and very disturbing 
    heavy metal songs, until they were banned from just about everywhere.
    Their record company dropped their contract rather than release 
    "Animal (Fuck like a Beast)", but the album was rescued by an 
    independant label and became W.A.S.P.'s greatest hit.

o-- Inspiral Carpets, "I Can't Feel You Moo"
    [Album name and label unknown]
    (Lyrics unavailable]

o-- Prince, "Alphabet Street" from Lovesexy, by Prince
    ["Lovesexy," label unknown]
    "You kiss your enemies like you know you should,
     then you jerk your body like a horny pony would."

o-- Timbuk 3, "Sample the Dog"
    ["Eden Alley," label unknown]

    "There's a new age family down in North Caroline..
     A dog named Jamaica,
     A daughter named China,
     A son that plays in a band, called Sample the Dog

     New age music on the stereo,
     Dust on the keys of the piano.
     And China's in the kitchen, tryin' to sample the dog.

     Sample the dog... (sounds of sampled dog, barking...)"

o-- Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, "Dirty Love"
    ["Overnight Sensation," label unknown]

    "Give me your dirty love
     Just like your mama make her fuzzy poodle do.
     Give me your dirty love
     The way your mama make that nasty poodle chew.

     THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie)
     THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Snap it!)
     THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie)
     THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Snap it!)

     [Continue to fade, including comments such as...]

     (Not a speck of cereal)
     (Nothin but the best for my dog!)
     (Little paws stickin' up)
     (Little curly head)

o-- The Fugs, "Homemade/My Baby Done Left Me (And I Feel Like Homemade Shit)"
    ["Golden Filth: The Best of the Fugs (Reprise)," label unknown]

    In this hilarious spoof of country weepers, Ed Sanders sings
    about all the things he is willing to do if only "Claire June"
    will come back, one of which is "Gonna give up heifer fuckin'"

o-- The Fugs, "Dog Style Diversion" from the "Virgin Forest" medley.
    (The Fugs - ESP Records 1028, 1966.)
    Essentially a spoken word tune with groans,yelps, and ooo's by Ken 
    Weaver and Betsy Klein... jungle drums in the background...  Ken makes 
    it with a female chimpanzee.

o-- The Fugs, "The Fug's Rehersal - I Fucked a Chicken in the 60's 
               (But now I'm the Dean of The Medical School)"
    (The Fugs, Olufsen Records DOC 5009, 1984)
    ...self explanatory.

o-- Nine Inch Richards, "Closer"
    ["Closer to Hogs," Shock Records (PO Box 434, Richmond 3121, Australia)
                       and Leaving Hope/TVT Music, Inc., ASCAP]

    "I wanna fuck you like an animal,
     I wanna feel you from the inside"

    From what I've been told this album contains quite a few little gems but
    some of the more interesting send up's I've been told of include lines
    like; "Did I tell you I knew Lassie...personally?!", "I really go for a
    cow in tight leather" and "You know I reckon Noah's Ark would have been
    just like the Love Boat."

    On the insde of the CD jacket the disclaimer reads, "It is not our
    intention to promote wanton sex with animals. (We believe that an
    emotional component is necessary for successful relationships between
    consenting animals.)"

o-- John Denver, "Grandma's Feather Bed"
    ["Back Home Again," RCA]
    "It was nine feet high and six feet wide,
     soft as a downy chick.
     It was made from the feathers of fourty-'leven geese,
     took a whole bolt of cloth for a tick.
     It'd hold eight kids and four hound dogs
     and a piggie we'd stole from the shed.
     We didn't get much sleep but we had a lot of fun
     on grandma's feather bed."

o--  Queen, "Delilah"
     ["Innuendo," Hollywood Records]
     In a love song to his cat, Freddie Mercury verses;
     "Delilah, I love you, you make me so very happy,
      you give me kisses and i go out of my mind"

o--  Peter Schickele, (P.D.Q. Bach), "Oedipus Tex: Finale"
     ["Oedipus Tex and Other Choral Calamities," Telarc (CD-80239)]
     [Review by Snufferbux ([email protected])]

     Only PDQ Bach could take the story of Oedipus Rex and make
     a western out of it.  Imagine Oedipus as a drifting cowboy,
     early on in the piece he sings:

     "Lately my thoughts have been driftin' towards the ladies.
      Now, don't get me wrong, I love my pony best of all."

     Well, after the whole sordid story of incest, suicide, and
     self mutilation had been told (sounds like something from 
     a.s.stories, doesn't it? :), the moral is presented in the
     finale:

     "Well the moral of the story is, of course,
      Don't love your mother, pardner, save it for your horse.
      I guarantee you will be filled with great remorse
      If you give your mama love you should be saving for your horse.

      Save it for your horse!
      Save it for your horse!
      Don't be a prisoner of remorse,
      Take your love and save it, save it, save it for your horse!"

     (Repeat with minor variations to end.)

o--  Frank Zappa, "Babette"
     ["You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore, Volume 1" Rykodisc (RCD 10081)]
     "The 1974 band had nightly routines, also...improvised 'folkloric
      news flashes' dealing with the previous day's road activities which,
      in some instances, bordered on science fiction."

     The song is about a supposed affair between the band's road manager
     and Babette, a dog.

o--  Frank Zappa, "The Hounds" 
     ["Puttin' On The Dog" (CBS Records, 1979)]

     "Horses

     I was into horses long before you caught my eye.
        Lunging through the forest, gripped the passion of the ride.
     Lying in the sunshine just before a summer storm.
        Took you for the first time.  Rode the finest flesh of all

     (refrain)
     I like horses -- won't you take me for a ride? 
     I like horses -- won't you take me for a ride?
     I'm your rider -- you'll let me ride you tonight.

     Swing into the saddle, love to see your nostrils flare.
       Clinging tightly to you, I get tangled in your hair

     (refrain)

     Now we're back and flying.  Tears of joy run down your face
       With me r'underneath me, don't you know you'll win the race?

o-- Frank Zappa, "Moving to Montana"
    (album and label unknown)

    "Well I might ride along the border
     with my tweezers gleaming in the moonlight-y night
     And then I'd get a cup of coffee
     and give my foot a push
     Just me and the pygmy pony
     over by the dental floss bush!"

o--  Cat Stevens, "I love my dog"
     ["The very best of Cat Stevens", Island Records]
     Excerpts:
     ...I love my dog as much as I love you...
     ...all he ever needs is love, and that he knows he will get...

o--  The Allman Brother's Band, "Midnight Rider"
     ["Idlewild South" and "A Decade of The Allman Brother's Band"]
     [label(s) unknown]
     Although not truly a zoo'ish song, it was brought to my attention that
     this was as perfect a 'Fence Jumper's Anthem' as you could find!  So
     the Allmans have earned themselves an honourable mention :)

     "But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no,
      Not gonna let 'em catch the midnight rider."

o--  The Cramps, "Can your pussy do the dog?"
     (Big Beat Records, 1985)
     Lyrics unavailable.

o-- Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Naked In The Rain"
    ["Blood Sugar Sex Magik," Warner Bros]
    (...)
    Naked in the rain with a killer whale
    I can taste the salt when I lick his tail
   
    Naked in the rain
    Doctor Doolittle, what's your secret?
    Give it to me doctor, don't keep it
   
    I never met an animal that I didn't like
    You can come to me, I won't bite
    Don't you know dog is man's best friend?
    There is some love that you can't fight
    (...)
   
o-- The Cure, "All I Want"
    ["Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me," Elektra, 1987]
   
   "Tonight I'm feeling like an animal
    Tonight I'm howling inside
    Tonight I'm feeling like an animal
    Tonight I'm going wild
   
    And all I want is to be with you again
    And all I want is to hold you like a dog
    And all I want is to be with you again
    With you again
    Just to hold you like a dog"
   
o-- The Cross, "Love On A Tightrope (Like An Animal)"
    ["Shove It," Virgin Records]
   
   "Love on a lead is what you need
    Love on a leash is what you wish
    Love on a tightrope is what you get
    Love on a steep slope, you ain't seen nothing yet
   
    Be my dog, be my pet
    Like a nervous tic you just won't quit
    Like a nervous tic you just won't quit
    You don't need a doctor, you need a vet
   
    Like a tiger cat you're where it's at
    Like a crocodile along the Nile
    So strange and wild, some kind of reptile
    Love on a lead is what you need
   
    Animal eyes - like a real good time
    Animal lips - it's a perfect crime
    Animal hait - it just ain't fair
    Like an animal
    You're an animal"

o-- Tori Amos' albums seem to have an undercurrent of wildness/zooness 
    about them; nothing obvious in her songs, but in "Under the Pink" 
    she thanks "the wolf' in her dedications. More specifically, included 
    in the art of "Boys for Pele" is a fantastic photo of Tori, suckling 
    a piglet at her breast.

o-- Leonard Cohen, "Ballad of the absent mare"
    ["Recent Songs," Stranger Music Inc. BMI, 1979; Columbia 474750]

    The most wonderful equine romance I ever heard in public. Lovely. And
    very zooish. Leonard Cohen is a canadian poet. Lyrics are copyrighted,
    so only short citation for taste:

   "And he leans on her neck
    and he whispers low
    Wither thou goest
    I will go"

o-- In the beginning of the new Rolling Stones video for "Anybody Seen My 
    Baby," Ron Wood acts the part of sex-circus host. He introduces the 
    burlesque and says, "We've got a great show for you this evening. We've 
    got kids, animals, all kinds of shit." But, being MTV, this part is 
    pretty chopped up, so it actually sounds like "We've got 
    ki...animal...all kinds of shi...."

o-- Thee Mighty Caesars, "Suck the Dog"
    [from the album "John Lennon's Corpse Revisited"]

    You know now baby you should suck the dog
    You know now baby you should suck the dog
    You know now baby you should suck the dog
    Come on now child, treat me like a dog
    Ow ow arrrooooo!

    get on your knees baby and suck the dog
    get on your knees baby and suck the dog
    get on your knees baby and suck the dog
    get on your knees baby and suck the dog
    Ow arrrrooooo!

    A suck the dog, a suck suck suck suck
    A suck the dog, a suck suck suck suck
    A suck the dog, a suck suck suck suck
    Come on now, come on now baby, suck the dog - you know you wanna!

    A suck the dog
    A suck the dog
    A suck the dog
    A suck the dog

o-- Tone Loc, "Funky Cold Medina"

    This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
    Put a little Medina in your glass and the girls will come real quick
    It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
    A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap
    So I gave some to my dog, when he began to beg
    Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
    And did the Wild Thing on my leg
    He used to scratch and bite me before he was much, much meaner
    But now all the poodles run to my house
    For the Funky cold Medina

    You know what I'm sayin'? I got every dog in my neighborhood
    Breakin'down my door,
    I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's
    They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

o-- Lords of Acid, "Doggie Tom (Overture)"

    Every time I get naked
    My doggy sees it all
    He always gets excited
    Cos I'm his squeeky doll
    He's a horny little bastard
    He's drooling from his tongue
    I rub myself with candy
    Gonna lure him with a bone
    
    When I take him walking
    With his studded jacket on
    He's a macho little puppy
    I pet him for a job welldone
    He don't care much for bitches
    They ain't his cup of tea
    He loves his little pussy
    And that pussycat is me
    
    He's always feeling kinky
    Oh yes he loves to play these games
    On sundays he's my doggy
    On monday he's my slave
    I'm willing and I'm able
    To turn my baby on
    As long as he feels happy
    He can be whatever he wants
    
    Chorus:
    Tom Tom - poodle Tom - got a bone for a job welldone x3
    Tom Tom - doggie Tom - You make me come Tom

o-- Emerson Lake & Palmer, "CarnEval #9" from Brain Salad Surgery

    And now a sight to make you drool
    7 virgins and a mule
    Keep it cool Keep it cool

o-- Adam Sandler, "Teenage Love on the Phone" from They're all Gonna Laugh...

    At the end, the Buffoon says, "My neighbor's dog has a four-inch clit."

o-- Adam Sandler, "My Little Chicken" from They're all Gonna Laugh at You

    This song is an ode to a man's love for a chicken. Lyrics include:
    "If an egg can fit in there, why can't I?" and "my little chicken likes
    to wear garter belts."

o-- Adam Sandler, "She Comes Home to Me" from Stan and Judy's Kid

    Lyrics include: "She'll go down on a yak, lick a horse's nut sack" and
    do something to your asshole "with a mouse"


=================================[B - ART]===================================

1 - The performing arts
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

o-- Equus, by Peter Shaffer
    London stage, 1973
    ISBN 0233965432
    This play, which was later portrayed on the silver screen, is the story
    of a young man who is troubled by his love of a horse.  Told through the
    eyes of his shrink, it's representation of zoos is not top notch but is
    still a great read or a good way to kill a Sunday afternoon if it just
    so happens to wind up in your local playhouse.

o-- "Rosa," written by Peter Greenway
    Although we're still hunting for someone who has heard or read this
    opera, I've been told by a very reliable source that it's about zoo-
    philia.  I'll be petitioning the New York Opera to put on a performance
    this season :)

o-- "Futz; who do you want, Peire Vidal?", by Rochelle Owens
    Broadway stage, 1986
    ISBN 0881450405
    A play about a man's love for a pig.

2 - On the silver screen
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"I could dance with you until the cows come home.  On second thought, I'd
 rather dance with the cows."  Groucho Marx in "Duck Soup"

"Because he only -talked- to the animals!"  Rex Harrison in "Dr. Doolittle"

o-- Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
    Jim Carrey stars as a doggie detective in this 1994 comedy.  Zoo'ish
    eyebrow raisers include the line, "You really love animals, don't you?
    Only when it's cold enough." and various other hints.  IMNSHO, a kind
    of stupid movie but worth the watch for the zoo implications.

o-- Four Weddings And A Funeral
    In this 1994 British comedy, Tom, a relative of main character played
    by Hugh Grant, confesses his love of a beautiful female Labrador
    Retriever late in the movie.  Also featured are plenty of 'Scotsman and
    Sheep' jokes throughout.  Ending credits feature wedding photos of
    Tom, the distant cousin who he marries, and the Labrador :)  An
    excellent movie, with or without the zoo references!

o-- Jackson County Jail
    This 1970's action / adventure film features a clip in the beginning
    where our heiroine, a female ad. exec., is showing a clip of a
    commercial for a woman's sanitary napkin to a bunch of male CEOs.
    The commercial shows a woman riding a horse.  The head CEO says the
    commercial is blatantly sexual by noting, "We can't show that!  You
    know what they say about women and horses."

o-- Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex, (But Were Afraid To Ask)
    [Review by Mal-Wolf ([email protected])]
    In this popular Woody Allen comedy, Gene Wilder is a doctor 
    who has one of his patients bring in a sheep who he is in love
    with.  Gene tells the patient that he should see a shrink, but
    the guy ignores him, saying that it's the sheep who needs the
    help ('cause she doesn't love him anymore) and that Gene has
    been recommended as 'the best doctor in the world'

    Gene relucantly accepts, and when the two of them are alone
    (Gene and the sheep) he starts to feel attracted to her...

    Eventually, Gene and the sheep run off together and have an
    affair, but Gene's wife eventually discovers this, and catches
    both of them in the act.  And the story ends with the original lover
    of the lamb finding her and taking her back to his home across
    the ocean, leaving Gene all alone in the world.

o-- Terminator
    Though not exactly the movie I was expecting to have a zoo reference in
    it either, I was recently reminded of Sgt. Vokuvich's (played by Lance
    Hendrikson) statement to Lieutenant Traxler (played by Paul Winfield)
    while watching the police department shrink interview Kyle Rees, (played
    by Micheal Beihn), "That Silverman really cracks me up.  Last week he
    had some guy in here who was having sex with his Alsatian."  Unfortun-
    ately, Traxler was quick to shut him up before he could finish the
    story :)

o-- Airplane!, The Movie
    "...you know what it means when Sparky rubs up against your leg?" asked
    the ever ambitious Captain Over, before coming down with fish poisoning.
    Oh, and don't forget the captain's wife in bed with the horse.  Remember,
    it's dangerous to smoke in bed, even if you're doing it after having sex
    with your horse.

    Similar bestiality humor exists in the sequal, "Airplane! II." One
    reader reports: "a woman propositions any male for a good time fearing
    she will die a virgin.  In one scene she propositions a mule.  In a
    subsequent scene, they are both shown smoking a cigarette.

o-- Padre Padrone
    This is the story of a young boy growing up in Sicily, I think.
    Watch out for the "talking sheep."

o-- A Zed and Two Noughts
    Director Peter Greenaway's classic study of death, decay and zebras.  The
    zoophilia references flow thick and fast and some are about as subtle as
    a baseball bat to the head :)

o-- Mazeppa
    [Review written by The Boston Phoenix (newspaper)]
    You think *you* like horses?  Well, consider 19th-century French
    painter Theodore Gericault.  'Mazeppa' shows us the extremes of his
    equine passion: he sleeps with horses, helps them deliver foals,
    and sweats while he watches them mate, all the better to understand
    his subject . . . Gericault (Miguel Bose') becomes obsessed with
    horses . . . A troupe member relates to him the Ukrainian legend of
    Mazeppa, a young page who got caught up in a romance with his master's
    bride -- for which he was strapped naked to a horse and sent galloping
    to an unknown destination.  Gericault's parallel fate is thus rendered
    inevitable . . . The acting is flawless and the cinematography equally
    masterful.

o-- We Think The World Of You
    The story of a love triangle between two gay men and a female German
    Shepherd.

o-- The Nutty Professor (1996)
    At a night club, Buddy Love (Eddie Murphy) suggests that a stand-up 
    comedian's prominent teeth resulted from an affair his mother had with 
    Mr. Ed. He then acts out how that love-making session might have looked.

o-- Willow
    This one is pretty tame by the standards listed here, but in this fantasy
    movie, a Brownie gets zapped by a love potion and falls in love with a 
    cat. Since a Brownie is about the size of a mouse, this creates problems.

o-- Top Secret
    This movia contains a great many bovine sex references, including the
    scene where two spies in a cow costume get jumped by a bull and then,
    later on, get, erm, 'suckled' by a calf.

o-- Kentucky Fried Movie
    Various zoo and bestiality references.  One segment near the end shows
    cream pies thrust against various body parts (nude breasts and buttocks 
    especially) and one of the last hits is against a horse's flank.

o-- Bachelor Party
    Tom Hanks is on his last night as a free man.  His friends hire a 
    stripper who will have sex with a donkey which they have kidnapped.
    Hanks intros her as a woman who doesn't believe love should be confined 
    to one's own species.  She doesn't actually get naked, and all she
    does is shake her tits in the animal's muzzle before the donkey dies of 
    a drug overdose.

o-- Wayne's World
    While interviewing a guest on their TV show, they read their questions
    from cue cards. On the back of one of the cards (so the camera can see it
    but the guest can't) is the phrase "He blows goats: we have proof!"

o-- Ladyhawke
    This film, starring Matthew Broderick, centers on the love of Navarre
    (Rutger Hauer) and Isabeau (Michelle Pfeiffer). An evil spell, however,
    has transformed them: Navarre is a man by day, but a wolf by night, and
    Isabeau is a hawk by day, and a woman by night. Only in the fleeting
    moments at dawn and dusk can they see each other as man and woman. While
    the film is not about zoophilia, it's highly symbolic of our devotion to
    our mates, though they may be another species: love knows no boundaries.

o-- From Dusk 'Til Dawn
    In this movie, Cheech Marin invites characters to the "cantina from Hell"
    by saying words to the effect that "we got white pussy, black pussy,
    yellow pussy, dog pussy, horse pussy, chicken pussy...we got _every_ kind
    of pussy!" Too bad you have to end up dead or a demon, eh? :)

o-- The Corsican Brothers
    In one scene in this movie, Cheech Marin has his arm up a horses ass. 
    In another, he is having a conversation with a young girl bragging 
    falsely about all the horses he has owned in the past, and the girl asks 
    "have you done all the breeding yourself?"  Marin replys, "No I usually 
    leave that up to the horses."

o-- Mary Shelly's Frankenstein
    Not too many zoo references, but the letter from Victor should count:
    ...
    I've fallen in love.  She's dark, sleek and beautiful; and always wags 
    her tail whenever she sees me.  Her name is Putzi and she's the 
    friendliest sheepdog I've ever known!
    ...
    While Kenneth Branaugh left out just how well Victor 'knew' Putzi, we 
    can always wonder...

o-- Sucubus
    This highly thought of Swiss film contains a scene where a boy allows
    a cow to lick his genitalia, showing obvious pleasure.  In another
    scene, a woman/witch, the Sucubus of the title, is raped by a bull.
    The film is supposed to be a morality tale on the danger of 
    fornication.

o-- La Bete
    Walerian Borowckyz (a French director who featured animals in almost 
    all of his films), created his masterpiece in 1975, causing a stir
    of publicity because of its shocking subject.  Ten years later,
    a survey by a French cinema magazine found that 'La Bete' was ranked 
    in the top three erotic films of all time by six out of ten film
    directors.

    In the first scene of the film, some very explicit and detailed
    shots of two horses having sex end with a bearded, rather unkempt
    man rushing around after the stallion has pulled out so that he
    can watch the mare's wet sexual organs.

    This man is due to be married to an American woman who also has
    a fascination with horses mating, which is fortunate for her as
    these scenes appear regularly throughout the film.  The man is,
    in fact, cursed with some sort of lycanthropy, making him into a
    bestial sort of were-horse complete with a stallion's penis and
    testicles to match.

    The dramatic climax is a long and beautifully filmed chase through
    the woods, with encounters with the beast that rise in intimacy
    and semen content until he finally rapes her over a log.  But it
    appears that the monster did not reckon with a nymphomanical
    zoophile American, who demands of him such sexual exertions that
    he eventually dies.

    -- "BW" reports:

   "There was a beautiful scene in which the human heroine watched a 
    mare being covered by a beautiful stallion. They were both dark 
    brown or black. They looked like thoroughbreds. It had some 
    beautiful closeups of the horses coming together. It was quite 
    romantic. Anyway, that night the heroine is about to get changed 
    to go to bed before is thinking about what she saw that day. Her 
    bed is an old four poster wooden bed with carved bedknobs. She 
    rode on the large rounded bed knob while fantasizing about the 
    stallion and the mare. The scene was interspersed with shots of 
    those beautiful horses mating. She came in a shuddering orgasm, 
    of course."

    -- Doc Yak (9/27/97) reports:

   "The film mentioned on your 'TV and Movies' list as _La Bete_ by 
    Walerian Borowckyz is available under the title BEAST from: VIDEO 
    SEARCH OF MIAMI, Box 16-1917, Miami, FL 33116. Phone 888-279-9773;
    fax 305-598-5265. Their price is $25.00 plus $3.00 shipping. An age
    statement is required. They also require a one-time 'membership fee'
    of $10.00 with the first order. The horse scenes are quite good...
    perhaps a bit dark in the video, but well worth seeing. Other things
    worthy of note are the pictures in a book the heroine reads about
    the beast legend, possibly some of the paintings in the background
    (I couldn't get a good look at them) and the long 'beauty and the
    beast' dream sequence near the end of the picture. VIDEO SEARCH
    offers a huge selection of foreign films, but all they list is the
    title and a word or two about actor and director. I have the feeling
    that there is other material of interest here, if only one knew
    which titles to order!"

    -- Stitch (10/18/97) reports:

   "The movie is available in the States through some (possibly bootleg) 
    video companies, but it is available in two versions. The American-
    dubbed version (sometimes called 'The Devil's Honey') features the 
    horse copulation scenes, which are wonderfully explicit and quite 
    artfully filmed, but is missing a good 15 minutes of footage toward 
    the end. The complete version of this film is very, very zoo-ish. 
    In it, the young woman falls asleep and has a prolonged dream 
    sequence in which she is chased through the woods by a large, hairy 
    beast that looks like a weasel crossed with a bear. The beast has a 
    huge, erect penis, and it slowly tears off the womans clothes (and 
    even masturbates into her powdered wig at one point). This is 
    followed by a very graphic (XXX) bout of lovemaking between the 
    beast and the woman, including a _lot_ of comeshots (I think they 
    used potato soup or something). This is all accompanied by a really 
    nifty harpsichord soundtrack. A sequel may be in the planning stages. 

   "The director, Walerian Borowczyck, is quite an interesting character 
    (he's rumored to have been in the beast costume). He did an animated 
    feature called 'The Theater of Mr. and Madame Cabal' which features 
    a few live action shots of two lions licking each other quite 
    seductively. Another of his films, 'Immoral Tales', has a nice shot 
    of two chickens copulating, as well as a weird shot of a young girl 
    stroking a cow's udder."

    -- TruePuma (11/1/97) reports:

    Blockbuster Video should be able to order this video for $49.99.

o-- Ars Armandi (l'Art D'Aimer)
    Another, more recent film from Walerian Borowczyk (1988), this film
    makes use of the same monumental Roman sets that were built in the
    fifties for "Ben Hur" and "Cleopatra".  It contains shots of
    women fondling a stallion's penis, and a vivid retelling of the
    story of Persiphea and the Bull.  Yes, a virgin climbs into an
    artifical cow and is 'serviced' by a the penis and testicles of
    a bull.  Full marks for getting this one past the censors almost
    everywhere except for Great Britain and the Irish Republic.

o-- Padre Padrone
    This Italian film from 1977 is based on a best selling book; an
    autobiography of a young shepherd boy's struggle to escape the 
    poverty of his peasant background.

    In various scenes, our young shepherd boy has sex with a donkey
    and, in a group of other teenagers, with live chickens.  There are
    also suggestive scenes of him sleeping next to a ewe.  The author
    of the book appears at the beginning of the film and reveals that he
    and many of his contemporaries were actively involved in animal sex
    throughout his teens.
    
o-- Private Parts
    In one scene, where the camera crew is trying to convince a woman in a
    car to appear nude on film, she asks the crew why they have a donkey.
    The camera pans to a small male donkey who, unfortunately, doesn't get
    a starring role. :)

o-- Police Academy [probably the first one]
    There is a scene in Police Academy that has a dog mounting a man's leg
    and humping it, around 19 minutes into the movie.

o-- Loaded Weapon 1
    In this parody on the Lethal Weapon series, police officer Emilio Estevez
    tells his partner about his girlfriend Claire. His partner thinks Claire
    is a girl, but we discover she's actually a Golden Retriever. They have
    some tender scenes together.

o-- "Easy Money" starring Rodney Dangerfield.
    I can't remember how far into the movie this is, but Rodney goes out onto
    his back porch (which is on the second story) and he looks down into the
    neighbors yard. There he sees an attractive (if you're into that sort of
    thing) woman, who is very scantily clad. The woman is lying on a lounge
    chair, or a blanket, next to a very large harlequin Dane. I'm not sure
    what sex the dog was, but the woman looked at Rodney like "you want to
    join in?"

o-- Conan the Barbarian
    About half way through the movie, Conan and Subitie are walking down a 
    sloping street in the second city they come to. As they go along they 
    pass a prostitute, who they ignore {the real Conan would never do that 
    BTW}, and continue to the bottom of the hill where they see a man having 
    sex with a llama {full side view}. There's a lot of moaning on the part 
    of the man but no hip action. They also see a group of young men 
    surrounding a cow or a bull, I'm not sure which. Conan starts laughing 
    at them, he bumps into a camel and punches it in the head, knocking it 
    out. He and Subitie then run away.

o-- Tierische Liebe [Austria, 1995, 120 minutes]
    It's a film. It's also a documentary. I saw it at the Vancouver Film 
    Festival as "Animal Lovers."

o-- Blazing Saddles
    I've only seen the televised version, so I may be missing some good
    stuff, but the gang of hoodlums who pillage the town is said to rape
    cattle.

o-- Revenge of Billy the Kid
    In this monster movie, a drunken farmer has sex with his goat 
    (offscreen). The goat gives birth to a mutated goat-man creature that 
    runs around killing everybody. Kinda lame.

o-- Pigsty (Il Porcile)
    This movie, by an Italian director named Pier Paolo Pasolini, is a 
    political satire about capitalism, in which a rich man's son is a 
    zoophile who often has sex with pigs. This is all offscreen, though 
    there are several closeups of pig anuses. 

o-- Caligula (with Malcolm McDowell)
    The Quality Paperback Book Club sells this video for $59.95. To quote 
    their description:

    "Caveat emptor: this infamous foray into feature film production from 
    Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione includes highly explicit scenes of 
    necrophilia, bestiality, rape and sadomasochism. Malcom McDowell stars 
    with Peter O'Toole, Helen Mirren and Sir John Gielgud; the disavowed 
    script is by Gore Vidal."

    The thumbnail of the jacket art reads "Special 30th(?) Anniversary 
    Edition" (I can't read it clearly) and "Complete Unedited and Unrated 
    Version."

o-- Caligula 2
    This very bad Italian movie features an orgy scene in which a woman 
    fondles a semi-erect horse penis for a few seconds. This is only in the 
    uncut version.

o-- Ricochet
    A guy is in the parole office at a parole hearing, and a guy on the board 
    asks the criminal "What will YOU do for society when you leave here?" His 
    response, "Well, I think I'll go to your house, first. I'll fuck your 
    wife and your daughter. Then I'll fuck your dog. You'd like that, 
    wouldn't you?" :) Something like that, anyways...

o-- Chasing Amy (written and directed by Kevin Smith)
    One scene is when Banky and Holden are talking in the train station about
    the huge bag of smut books Banky is bringing with him for a two day trip.
    Banky explains that variety is the spice of life and that "sometimes, not 
    often, but sometimes I like the idea of a chick with a horse." A few 
    minutes later he is bonding with a young boy by describing what's 
    happening in the magazine to him: "and then Black Beauty couldn't take it 
    anymore, and he had to do some of his own mounting." That's it till later 
    when Holden and Jay are discussing Alyssa's varied sex life. Comments by 
    Jay include "One time she had this dog...." He is cut off by Holden 
    before he can finish.

o-- Rob Roy (with Liam Neeson)
    Roy is Scottish; need I say more? Numerous references to Scots and their
    supposed attraction to sheep.

o-- Monty Python's "And Now For Something Completely Different"
    From what I recall, it features a sketch in which 2 friends go into one's
    apartment bedroom. A beautiful white doe goat is on the bed. One of the 
    guys starts smooching the goat. After the other leaves, the guy and the 
    goat smooch some more. When the goat walks away, a fleeting glimpse of
    the goat's posterior is seen.

    [Note: When this aired on A&E in May 1999, this scene was not shown. They 
    also appear to have edited out some of the profanity.]

o-- Revenge of the Nerds (Anthony Edwards, 1984)
    When Lewis and Gilbert go to the Alpha Betas for their frat initiation,
    they're handed a couple of unrolled condoms and directed to a sheep. You
    figure it out ;^)

o-- Cabaret
    In the movie, the main character dances with a Gorilla (really!) and 
    sings a song about love, and how he thinks she (the gorilla) is beautiful
    (and you would, too, if you could "see her through my eyes!").

o-- Payback (1999, Mel Gibson)
    Three men in a car are waiting for Mel Gibson (who's in an apartment with
    an old girlfriend and her dog) to pick up the phone. When he doesn't
    answer right away, the guy in the back seat says, "He's probably fucking
    her." The driver (making the call) says, "He's taking long enough." 
    "Maybe the dog, too," suggests the man in the back. After a thoughtful
    pause, the driver asks, "You think so?"

o-- Passion in the Desert
    Based on the Honore' de Balzac novella, this story is about a French 
    soldier dying of thirst in the Egyptian desert. While hiding in a cave, 
    he runs into a female leopard (played by a male) with whom he gradually 
    falls in love. There are some tender and suprisingly sexy scenes between 
    the two of them. I recommend stopping the tape after he ties "her" leash 
    to a stone column; the movie goes seriously downhill from there.

o-- Take the Money and Run (1969, Woody Allen)
    Virgil Starkwell (Woody's character) describes a Rorschach ink blot as 
    "two elephants making love to a men's glee club," and the third member 
    of his bread-camera bank heist team is wanted for "marrying a horse."

o-- South Park (1999, animated)
    Numerous bestiality references. Terrence and Phillip refer to each other
    as "pig fuckers," and two of the illustrated flash cards Cartman is shown
    depict "horse fucker" and "big floppy donkey dick." The illustrations
    will be rather small on a TV screen, though.

o-- Orgasmo
    "A great movie (for people that like crass and rude jokes, i.e., South 
    Park), done by the people who did South Park. There is a scene where Trey 
    Parker is going to save his girlfriend from a German Shepherd guard dog, 
    but instead of attacking, the dog mounts him! A very cute scene, and 
    quite long--about a minute or more."

o-- City Heat
    "In City Heat, a 1920s detective movie starring Burt Reynolds and Clint
    Eastwood, Burt puts on a wolf mask to search a brothel for a kidnapped
    socialite being held for ransom.  In the movie version, he opens one door
    and hears a horse whinny.  In the TV version, the whinny was edited out. 
    The movie a very well made and humorous.


3 - Glued to the tube
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

o-- Cheers, "Back home in Indiana"
    Sam: "Okay -- I don't know about Indiana, but around here when guys get
    together to send another guy to his doom, things can get a little
    raunchy."   (Cliff snickers)

    Woody: (Seriously) "You fellas ever dress up farm animals in women's
    clothing?"

    Sam: (Does a double-take) "...No."

    Woody: (Smirking) "Well then, I'm one up on you."

o-- Frasier, "Freres Heureux"
    Frasier's brother Niles was quoted in this episode as saying, "You 
    wouldn't believe what this man does with eels."  while preparing some 
    eels to eat.  His father, an ex-police officer, replied, "I put a guy 
    in jail for that once."

o-- Married with Children
    In the episode described as "Bud and the D'Arcys' neice hit it off," Bud
    manages to get rid of his parents long enough to study for a test. He is
    alone in the room with Buck, the dog. Dialogue is as follows:
    Bud: "Finally, peace and quiet. It's just you and me now, Buck boy."
    Buck (voice-over): "Uh oh, I've seen porno fims that start like this."

o-- Are You Being Served? Again!
    In the episode described as "The staff copes with demanding tourists,"
    Mr. Moleturd says of the guests: "When are those Yanks leaving? That one
    guy sure is a goer, isn't he? I'll just go 'round and lock up the sheep!"

o-- The Simpsons
    In the episode where Troy McClure marries Aunt Selma (for publicity
    reasons only), there are very prominent hints that Troy just isn't
    'normal'.  In one scene a minor character says, "He sleeps with the
    fishes.  I mean, he *really* sleeps with the..."

    "J" reports: "There is one episode in which Troy McClure talks about
    his love for dolphins. No need to look hard in this episode."

    "J" reports: "Groundskeeper Willy is a closeted zoo character. In the 
    episode where Bart writes love letters to his teacher, he suggests that 
    she go date groundskeeper Willy. She says, 'You don't even want to know 
    what he is into.' In another episode, Willy wrestles an escaped wolf to 
    the ground and wins. Willy gives the wolf, lies right down next to him, 
    gives him some of his whiskey and says. 'Don't feel bad about losin'. 
    I've been wrestling wolves before you were suckling your mother's teat.'
    Finally there is the episode where Bart gets Principal Skinner fired. 
    Willy chases Santa's Little Helper through all sorts of ductwork. When 
    he finally catches him he says, 'There's nary an animal alive that can 
    outrun a greased Scotsman.'" [In that same episode, Bart later tells 
    Skinner, "I'm real sorry about my dog getting you fired, and then biting 
    you, and then getting it on with your leg." -- Actaeon]

    "J" reports: "In another episode, Thelma and Patty are seen riding naked 
    on a horse in front of a crowd."

    In the episode where Bart and Lisa go to military school, they are 
    cleaning a bronze statue of a horse and rider when they stop to talk for 
    a moment. An upperclassman tells them, "Hey, get to work! I want to see 
    my face in this horse's ass!"

o-- MAD TV
    In an episode in which two women wake up in bed the morning after making
    love, one woman isn't sure she's really lesbian. She tells her partner,
    "I like penises. They make me smile." Her partner, a little miffed,
    replies, "Well, I suppose we could get a male dog."

    Also, in "Southpark-nuts," an animated parody combining "Peanuts" with 
    "South Park," Snoopy sniffs Lucy's crotch and then humps her. [Thanks MZ]

o-- Police Academy: The Series
    In an episode in which Shane gets hit on the head and thinks he's a dog,
    he humps his supervisor's leg and lifts his leg on a tree. Yeah, I know,
    it's symbolic, but what the hey.

o-- King of the Hill (a sitcom on Fox)
    In the episode where Bobby goes to his first coed party, he learns to 
    kiss by practicing on a plastic head. When his father takes the head 
    away, Bobby finds a substitute. His mother catches him in the act, 
    making smootchie faces at the dog and saying, "Come here, Ladybird, 
    you're so pretty." She is not pleased. :)

    In the episode where Hank gets to swim with a captive male dolphin, the 
    dolphin shows pink-belly when Hank innocently rubs the animal's stomach. 
    Shortly thereafter, the aroused dolphin slams Hank against the tank wall 
    and humps him for a short while; the dolphin is shown with a distinct 
    slit, though not an erection. (I am told by another viewer, however, 
    that the teaser commercial for the episode did show the penis, very 
    briefly. I'll have to watch closer next time. :) Later in the episode, 
    in order to teach an overly-amorous golfer that his attentions toward 
    Hank's niece were unwelcome, Hank entices the man into the dolphin tank, 
    then rubs the dolphin's stomach again. The animal gets pink-belly and, 
    with sex on the brain, heads for the now-terrified golfer. The dolphin's 
    trainer, seeing all this, laments quietly that he would like to be the 
    object of the animal's attention.

o-- Working Man? (the sitcom with Fred Savage)
    In the pilot episode, the boss offers his male golden retriever to Fred 
    Savage for sex in a failed attempt at bribery.

o-- Shock! TV (a series on HBO)
    "The newest episode [reported to me on 12/24/97] is about sex on the air -
    it seems in everywhere but the US and India erotic TV isn't considered as
    bad a thing as the censorship gurus in the US would make it seem. Anyway,
    they had two seperate zoo sequences... and they were both filmed with
    *real* movie cameras, if you can believe it! Now, the first one, a
    sporadic and really rather silly sequence with an emu raping some guy
    (something they apparently really DO) wasn't that great, but the second 35
    or 40 second clip, of a photographer from the Netherlands trying to get a
    model to masturbate a horse (maybe a pony - he was short and like I said
    it was a brief clip) was really quite amusing... she does, of course."

    [This episode was repeated on 5/27/99 as "Shock Video 5: Turn-On TV 1997"]

o-- Jerry Springer (a daytime shock-talk show of debatable social merit)
    The episode airing the week of May 22, 1998 (it's syndicated, so the local
    air date may vary somewhat) concerned bestiality and zoophilia. A large 
    percentage of affiliated stations refused to run this particular episode 
    (cowardly twerps), so good luck finding a copy. It generated a great deal 
    of publicity (nearly all bad): numerous other talk shows (e.g., Jay Leno 
    and Comedy Central's Daily Show) and reporters (one of whom very 
    objectively said "ick") had some "fun" with it, at our expense, of course.

o-- The New Red Green Show (a Canadian show which occasionally airs on PBS)
    In "The Petting Zoo" episode, Red tries to set up a petting zoo. After a 
    few failures, he decides to try it with horses. Nothing is ever seen, but 
    Red later comments to the audience that anyone trying this at home should 
    make sure the horses are geldings. There are a few PG-rated references to 
    bestiality. Nothing exciting.

    Also, in the episode where they adopt a stretch of highway, Harold and Red
    narrowly escape being crushed by logs that fall from a log truck. Harold 
    recalls, "I haven't had that much bark between my legs since Moose 
    Thompson's rottweiler went into heat."

o-- Saturday Night Live (NBC, 1998)
    Furlup reports: "[There is a] SNL commercial spoof [called] Canis.... 
    It's a spoof of a Cologne ad where a guy watches this Golden Retriever 
    swimming in a pool. When the dog reaches the side, he lifts the dog out 
    and hugs the dog to him, and they both start kissing. The guy is wearing 
    only underwear and since it's Cologne, I'd assume the dog is male."

o-- Fantasy Island (ABC, 11/8/1998)
    A stockbroker wanna-be visits the island and falls in love with a woman 
    he meets by the sea. When she turns out to be a dolphin, he is at first 
    disgusted. When the concierge can't understand his revulsion, the man 
    asks, "You want me to have sex...with an animal?" and calls the idea 
    "sick." However, by the end of the episode, the couple have reconciled. 
    No human/dolphin contact is ever shown.

o-- The Drew Carey Show
    "J" reports: In one episode, "Drew reveals that he had sex with the band 
    teacher. Oswald's makes it sound like he lost his viginity to a dog. (He 
    recanted)"

    In the episode "Boy Party/Girl Party," a co-worker hands Drew a business
    card for a club for "open-minded couples." Drew reads the card and says,
    "'No Pets.' That's a relief."

o-- Kids in the Hall
    "DH" reports: "[There] is one skit where there are two young kids (a guy,
    and a girl with big braces (a guy in drag of course, this is Kids in the
    Hall :) ) are in the girl's parents' room. The girl goes into the bathroom
    to get dressed all slinkily, and the boy, very nervous, starts to look
    around the room. Sees the cross over the parents' bed, sees a family
    picture, I believe, then sees this big doberman (I believe...can't
    remember if it was intact or not). It then shifts to the bathroom door.
    The girl emerges, dressed in flimsy nightwear, and says 'Ohmigod...' and
    it shows the guy on his belly being humped by the dog."

o-- Saturday Night Live:
    Dana Carvey (as the church lady) in "There's a fly in my soup."

    "So...I went to this restaurant from hell and ordered soup...and there was
    this teensy weensy little teeny tiny fly in my soup...and I said, 'Oooh...
    a fly in my soup...isn't that CON-VEEN-IENT!' I went up to the waiter and 
    I said, 'My, my, my...a fly in my soup...a little beastiality buffet for 
    the customers, hmmm? A little sin souffle', eh? Gee, I wonder who could 
    have put that fly in my soup...hmm, I wonder...the chef, maybe?...No...the
    Campbell's Kids, perhaps. I wonder who could it possibly be...Oh, I don't
    know...maybe...SATAN!?!' So then I said, 'You look a bit nervous, Mr. 
    Waiter... feeling the prickly heat in your bulbous tipping region? Hmmm? 
    Why do you call yourself a 'waiter,' anyway? What exactly is it you're 
    waiting for? Could it be, oh, I don't know...let's see...let me guess...
    oh...perhaps...SATAN!?! Isn't that special!' So I said a little prayer 
    against the restaurant and did my little superiority dance like this...
    Hit it, Pearl!"
    (Music begins, he/she dances wildly off stage)

o-- The PJ's: (a Foamation series on FOX, with the voice of Eddie Murphy)
    In the episode where Thurgood's stress medicine has the side effect of 
    enhancing his libido, there's at least one scene where, after dinner, he 
    gives his wife Muriel a sultry look and sweeps all the dishes off the 
    table, implying that the table will be the location of some serious 
    lovemaking. The episode closes with a little dog accidently swallowing 
    one of the stress pills, then, after dinner with his owner, staring at 
    her lasciviously and sweeping all the dishes off the table.


3 - Animated Animals:
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

o-- Locandez reports:
    "Dope Sheet" is an animation themed series on Channel 4; this week's 
    program covered various forms of taboos, and for the second time, sex :P 
    And there was a lot of zoo content.

    The very intro sequence shows a woman grabbing a wolf and yiffing him 
    behind some bushes; then a man comes along and starts boinking the wolf. 
    Judging by the style of the animation, I think it was by the same 
    team/artist who draws Ren & Stimpy. There were a couple of short films 
    about sex and sin which showed a bunch of cowboys all shagging horses in 
    a stable; a brief snippet of an animation where a woman is receiving 
    cunnilingus from a dog (and then later, is being fucked by the same dog, 
    with a really long cock); and a cartoon character called 'Eveready Hardon' 
    who is being seduced by a donkey (he leaps to try and mount it, but it 
    moves away and he lands in some cactus ;). The earlier program showed what 
    was to me a very yiffy animation of a mouse with a huge cock slowly 
    penetrating a cat (you could virtually see the cat 'fill' up) and humping 
    away, before disappearing with a 'help!' inside.

o-- South Park (a series on the Comedy Channel)

    In "Chickenfucker," a crazed hippie running the bookmobile attempts to 
    solve the sheriff's illiteracy problem by having sex with chickens and 
    leaving written clues to follow.

    In "Chef Aid," the kids see a photo of Chef with a goat in his scrapbook 
    of celebrities he has had sex with.


=============================[C - CONTRIBUTORS]===============================

Contributors to this PIP include:
   The Miami's ([email protected])
   Hossie ([email protected])
   Beastboy ([email protected])
   Saranthyrr Thristovar'ren ([email protected])
   Snufferbux ([email protected])
   Dr. Doolittle ([email protected])
   Staysa ([email protected])
   MegaDog ([email protected])
   Redvane ([email protected])
   Philo Therion ([email protected])
   Mal-Wolf ([email protected])
   Kayotae Blackwolf ([email protected])
   Actaeon ([email protected])
   [email protected]
   GOAT ([email protected])
   Lysander ([email protected])
   Chimera ([email protected])
   Kurt Goafec ([email protected])
   Snowwolf ([email protected])
   Furtail ([email protected])
   Flypper
   Doc Yak
   Doggystyle
   Stitch
   TruePuma
   Meck
   Furlup

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
      This text is posted when Actaeon gets a chance (not very often :).
      The FAQ and the PIPs for alt.sex.bestiality can also be found via:
         The Web at Stasya's Zeta Valley (http://www.stasya.av.org/)
                 Actaeon's website (http://come.to/actaeon)
                     E-mail at [email protected] (Ima Zoo)
                    E-mail at [email protected] (Actaeon)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=