My Girlfriend

I received the following e-mail on June 8, 1997:

>I need some tips on how to get my ratweiler to fuck my girlfriend. She is
>hot to try this and we have tried several times without success.

Well, I get messages like this every week, and nearly all are fake. So if you're for real, you can ignore (and accept my apologies for) much of what I'm about to say.

First of all, it's spelled "rottweiler," and if you can't spell your own dog's breed correctly, while everything else in your message is spelled exactly correct, it doesn't sound like you have a very loving relationship with your pet.

Second, we don't teach our dogs to "f*ck" us. We'd much rather make love with them. There's a difference. And if there's true love, they don't have to be "taught." It comes naturally.

Third, why is it always the "girlfriend" who is "hot" to try something? 90% of the time, it's actually the boyfriend/husband/Dom who gets off on the idea of his girlfriend/wife/sub getting screwed by a dog. Is your girlfriend _really_ interested, and has she been interested for many years (i.e., is she zoo, or just looking for a quick lay)? Or is it you who wants her to be interested?

Fourth and most importantly, if you've tried and failed several times, did it ever occur to you the dog might simply not be interested? If he's not into it, don't push the issue. If you do, your girlfriend could wind up being injured, and you'd have a criminal case on your hands. A rottie is a rather intense breed to start with: if pressured against his will, he can fight back with great strength.

With that said, if you're for real, my apologies. There are FAQs on the subject at my FAQs page. If those don't help, let me hear from your girlfriend, not you. After all, it's her body, her decision, and her life insurance policy. :)