    "Growing Up a Zoophile"
    ...a song parody by Actaeon

    (Sung to the tune of Supertramp's "Breakfast in America")

    (Posted 8/19/97)

    "Go and look for a girlfriend,"
    My folks always said to me
    But I'm in love with Man's Best Friend
    She's the one I want to see

    Life's confusing, self-accusing,
    Growing up a zoophile
    Tried a "Playboy" for self-abusing
    But switched to "DogFancy" instead
    And I took some Kleenex to bed

    "Can't you find love with a human?"
    Woe is me, oh woe is me
    Both my parents were fumin'
    'Cos I'm not what I'm 'sposed to be

    First they blamed me, then they shamed me,
    "How could you do this to us?"
    I can't help what overcame me
    I cried all night long in my bed
    Sometimes I wished I were dead

    Now I look at my girlfriend
    Who nuzzles my concerns away
    At times like this, she's a godsend
    Without her love I'd be astray

    I had friends in furry places
    Growing up a zoophile
    They refreshed me like an oasis
    I'm proud of the love that we've known
    When I'm with them I'm never alone

visits since 8/19/97

Index -- Added Tuesday, August 19, 1997 -- E-mail Actaeon