# All I Need to Know About Life...
I learned from my dog!

(Authors unknown; compiled from numerous sources. AFAIK, this is the canonical list: I haven't seen any that aren't shown here.)

- Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstacy.
- Always give people a friendly greeting - a cold nose in the crotch is effective.
- Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
- Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
- Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
- Be loyal.
- Bond with your pack.
- Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
- Don't go out without I.D.
- Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
- If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
- If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
- If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
- Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
- Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
- Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
- Never pretend to be something you're not.
- No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout ... run right back and make friends.
- On cold nights, curl up in front of a crackling fire.
- On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
- Run, romp and play daily.
- Take naps and stretch before rising.
- Thrive on attention and let people touch you - enjoy back rubs and pats on your neck.
- When it comes to having sex, if at first you don't succeed, beg.
- When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
- When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
- When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
- When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).
- When you go out into the world, remember to always take time to smell the roses ... and trees, grass, rocks, fire hydrants, ...
- When you leave your yard, make it an adventure.
- When you're excited, speak up.
- When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Index -- Created Friday, August 12, 1997 -- E-mail Actaeon