# This Species Of Love

    "This Species of Love"
    ...an original song by Actaeon
    ...written from May 14-23, 1997

    (Note: this song is from my musical-in-progress, "The Phantom Of The Zoo,"
    and is _NOT_ autobiographical (fortunately). It's about a zookeeper who is
    caught being intimate with his animals, loses his job and finds himself on
    trial for "abuse." The song takes place while the jury is deliberating and
    the courtroom is empty.)

    "This Species of Love"

    I held my lips so tightly sealed
    And kept my thoughts and deeds concealed
    Although I cannot see why I should have to hide
    There is love in many places
    In those fond and furry faces
    And my feelings tear me up from deep inside

    It hurts to hide from day to day
    How much I want the world to say
    That it is safe for me to truly be myself
    I try to laugh but feel like hell
    At all the jokes that people tell
    I have to fake it while my heart sits on a shelf

    If they could only read my mind
    Then they would see just how unkind
    It is to make fun of the different and the new
    I cause no harm to anyone
    I do not do this just for fun
    It is my life, my love, my god, what can I do?

    Chorus:
       This species of love is endangered
       To the hazards of life I'm no stranger
       If its habitat is shrinking
       It is due to people's thinking
       But I cannot hold my breath awaiting change

    I walked the aisles from dusk 'till dawn
    It was my duty to check on
    The many animals whose health was my first care
    And if one should welcome me
    Into its heart, how could it be
    So bad to give it what it could not get elsewhere?

    We say that animals need love
    But we have no idea of
    How true that is until they make their feelings clear
    They ask for love in many ways
    The begging paw, the piercing gaze
    We shun their urges for we don't want them that near

    The subtle cues that life forms give
    To signal they would like to live
    Much closer to us than we may have ever known
    Are lost on those who do not see
    Or those who turn away and flee
    From honest sentiments an animal has shown

    Chorus:
       This species of love is threatened
       I don't like the looks that I'm gettin'
       All the carnivores are smiling
       And their gaze is so beguiling
       And I know I'm just a snack along the way

    But to those folks who realize
    The meaning in those big brown eyes
    There are rewards that simply cannot be explained
    The purest love's a simple pleasure
    With a partner who won't measure
    Your performance or your size or cause you pain

    It's not for everyone, it's true
    You can't be trained to be a zoo
    You must be born, you can't be made to find it nice
    If you are zoo, you'll find out soon
    Some horse or dog will make you swoon
    And just to be with it you'll pay most any price

    I've paid the ultimate for mine
    There is a chance I may serve time
    And be forbidden to be with the love I claim
    What other lifestyles can there be
    In which the victims aren't set free
    But are instead convinced that they are who to blame?

    Chorus:
       This species of love is frightened
       Conclusions are drawn, nooses tightened
       What seems inane or sickening
       Is what sets my pulse to quickening
       Any fool can see you need more time to think

    Despite the jury's padded walls
    I hear the laughs and hooting calls
    Of jurors having fun at my expense and "sin"
    I cannot fault them for their mirth
    For they were all of "normal" birth
    But all the same it makes me sad to hear them grin

    When they come out, what will have passed?
    Will I have lost my job at last?
    Will I be banned from every place that's made me smile?
    Will I be made to wear a sign
    That tells the world about my crime
    A scarlet "Z" across my chest for "Zoophile"?

    At least a "Z" means "zoophilist"
    It beats a "B" for "bestialist"
    There's more to being "Z" than "B," I hope they've heard
    And if the verdict that they bring
    Is that I need some counseling
    How can they ever know for certain I am cured?

    Chorus:
       This species of love is uncertain
       As to whom I'm supposed to be hurtin'
       I don't need no Deprovera
       Or that talk show host Rivera
       I just want to hug my dog until they're through

    Immune to thoughts of church and state
    Inside that room they choose my fate
    Dear foreman, help them make that choice with open minds
    Please tell the judge to set me free
    Give back my animals to me
    And prove that love and justice both are truly blind

    I am no threat to man or beast
    Your kids are safe, from me at least
    The schoolyard bullies are a far more gruesome foe
    So point your fingers, tell your jokes,
    I can withstand your jabs and pokes
    And when you're done with me, please dust me off and go

    Just let me be with who I choose
    If I'm at home, what can you lose?
    I'll close the doors and shades to keep you in the dark
    I'm not demanding special rights
    Just want to hold my loved ones tight
    The same as anyone whose lover doesn't bark

    Chorus:
       This species of love won't be eaten
       By predators who think he's beaten
       While I keep my love in hiding
       It's my time I will be biding
       Till the closet door is broken down at last

visits since 8/9/97

Index -- Updated May 23, 1997 -- E-mail Actaeon