## From "The Sermon Behind the Mount, Mark Matthews 5:1-15"

Author unknown

1. And Epona saw the crowds on a.s.best, and She went up on the manure pile.
2. And when She had sat her disciples down on the fence rail, She began to speak:
3. "Blessed are the zoos who are poor in animals, for theirs is the kennel of Summerland.
4. "Blessed are those who mourn a furry mate, for they shall be comforted in the Summerland.
5. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall find gentle pets.
6. "Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for right-minded-ness, for they shall come to accept themselves.
7. "Blessed are the understanding, for they shall be understood.
8. "Blessed are the open of mind, for they shall be accepted.
9. "Blessed are the dog-lovers, for they shall find FidoNet.
10. "Blessed are the horse-lovers, for they love My special creatures.
11. "Blessed are those persecuted for zoophilia's sake, for they shall do mighty works in the Summerland.
12. "Blessed are you when twits revile you and persecute you and call you all manner of evil, for thou knowest in thine heart that they are fools.
13. "Blessed be the sysadmins who carry a.s.best in the face of censorship.
14. "Blessed be those who love any animal, for theirs is a special vision.
15. "You are the salt-block of the earth, the never-empty hay-mow, the feed-bin which ever runneth over. In these and other things shalt thou be known and praised."

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