## Re: Calf (Fwd from private e-mail)

Posted December 15, 1996

    In response to my web page detailing my attempt to get a BJ from a calf,
    I received the following e-mail:

    >This is really fucking sick!

    So why did you take the time to read it? :) The day you replied, my index page
    was down, so there were only three ways you would have found that page:

    1. by looking at my recent post on ASB in which I said my index page was down,
       and wherein I gave URLs for the direct links to the subpages,

    2. by doing a web search for relevant search terms such as "calf, blow job,
       unsuccessful" and so on,

    3. by following a bookmark on your web browser.

    So either way, you read it of your own free will. Ain't America great? :)

    >Why the fuck are you turned on by a cow?

    <smile> I the f*ck am turned on by a cow because I'd been told that a
    suckling calf gives a BJ the likes of which the average human mind (that's
    where you come in :) cannot imagine, and I wanted to find out if that were
    true (I never did).

    >Isn't your mom good enough for you?

    I find her to be a wonderful person, especially considering her reaction to
    my coming out as a zoo. Lots of parents freak out and even disown their
    children, but mine took it quite well and there are no hard feelings about it.

    >She was good enough for me, and doesn't wander off every time I try to put my
    >dick in her mouth.

    You must feel very fortunate to have a mother like that. Mine never gave me
    that service, though _I_ would never have imposed upon her. :)

    >Unfortunately, the cow probably was better looking.

    I'm sorry to hear that about your mother. But remember, beauty is only skin
    deep; immaturity goes to the bone. :)

    >Actually, I think the cow might have been full--I got to it first.

    I'm confused, probably due to my inferior intellectual capacity. :) First you
    say it's sick to be with a cow, then you say the cow was full because you got
    to it first. You seem to be wavering. Of what exactly was the cow full, and
    what did you do to fill her up? Was she low on milk? Did you give her
    pasteurized, 2%, 1%, or skim? No, wait, I bet you gave her low fat. After
    all, in your zoo gender preference survey response (which of course I don't
    plan to take seriously :), you list your nickname as -- is everyone sitting
    down for this? -- "Stumpy." Oh, that's priceless. :)

    On the bright side, your spelling, grammar, and punctuation are excellent:
    keep up the good work! You might grab a thesaurus, though, to find
    alternatives to f*ck and d*ck. The English language has 600,000 words;
    surely you can find more creative profanity if you work at it. :)

    Seriously, thanks for being such a good sport: I haven't had a decent
    flame in months, and I do so miss the smell of napalm in the morning. :)
    Semper Fry!

[P.S. To his credit, he sent back a nice reply, which is a first for a flamer, and that's why I've elected not to reveal his name here: he seems to be a good guy after all. Dang. :) ]

visits since 8/9/97

Flames -- Updated Saturday, March 15, 1997 -- E-mail Actaeon