    "I Heard the News Today"
    ...a song parody by Actaeon

    [A true story, written and posted on December 26, 1996,
    the day I learned "Gus" (the male German Shepherd I write
    about on my web pages) had been neutered.]

    (Sung to the tune of "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles.)

    I heard the news today, oh boy
    My German Shepherd lover just got fixed
    And though my folks were overjoyed
    I turned away to mourn
    My Samson's hair is shorn

    I met him as a four-month pup
    And even then he knew what they were for
    I let him follow me one day
    And when alone we'd play
    Seconds later he was humping like there was no end in sight

    We met whenever it was safe
    We learned to please each other as time passed
    I grew to love him more and more
    We kept a secret tryst
    He gave me my first kiss

    He loved to turn me on

    But now, his spirit's gone
    Sheared away by scalpel's gleam
    What's the future hold if not his love
    And looking down I see he's not the same
    I have to know, will he still hump?
    Nothing left for him to pump
    He'll be different now, there'll be a change
    Why'd they have to sever all our dreams?

    (ahhhhh ahh ahh ahhhhh...)

    I heard the news today, oh boy
    Two little organs in a silver tray
    They say he'll be a better pet
    They haven't proved it yet
    Now I'll never know how it would feel for him to tie with me

    I loved to turn him on

visits since 8/9/97

Index -- Updated December 26, 1996 -- E-mail Actaeon