    "On Golden Bondage"
    ...a song parody by Actaeon

    (Sung to the tune of "Under the Boardwalk" by The Drifters. Posted 7/31/96.)

    Under the boardwalk,
    Where none can see-ee-ee-eeee,
    On a blanket with my Golden,
    That's where I'll be.

    I'll hold her tightly,
    And tell her, "Gir-ir-ir-irl,
    You're the prettiest retriever
    In the whole wide world."

    She knows my crooning,
    She knows my voi-oi-oi-oice.
    I can only speak well of her:
    I really have no choice.

    For she's my master,
    And I'm her sla-a-a-ave.
    If I don't do as she tells me,
    She will misbehave.

    She'll tie my wrists down,
    To the boardwalk sla-a-a-ats,
    And she'll treat me like a kitten,
    Except she sure hates cats.

    She'll put on leather,
    And dress me up in la-a-a-ace.
    Then she'll claw into my nipples
    While she licks my face.

    Next comes the blindfold,
    And the rawhide whi-i-i-ip,
    But you won't hear me complaining:
    I can't give her lip.

    Because the last thing
    On her repertoi-oi-oi-oire
    Is the sexiest performance
    She will do by far.

    Down on her haunches,
    She'll scoot along my thi-i-i-igh,
    And I'll feel her wetness growing,
    As she moves it high.

    Soon she's atop me,
    Sitting on my fa-a-a-ace,
    And I eat her out with gusto,
    While she sets the pace.

    Not to be outdone,
    She plays the artful tea-ea-ea-ease:
    With the blindfold still around me,
    She gives my 'nads a squeeze.

    Then she turns tailward,
    For a round of fel-la-ti-o.
    She digs her teeth into my phallus
    But I still say "Ohhhhhhhh!"

    Before it's over,
    I'll be black and blu-u-u-ue.
    But that's the way my lover wants it,
    What's a zoo to do?

    Chained to the boardwalk,
    Drowned by the sea-ea-ea-ea,
    Bound and gagged by my retriever,
    That's how my dog likes me.

    ...EVERYBODY SING!

    "Chained to the boardwalk,
    Drowned by the sea-ea-ea-ea,
    Bound and gagged by my retriever,
    That's how my dog...likes...me!"

visits since 8/9/97

Index -- Updated April 21, 1999 -- E-mail Actaeon