# Actaeon's Animal-Only Sex Videos

Over the years, I have compiled several videos with footage of all sorts of animals (nearly all mammals) mating, urinating, defecating, masturbating, and giving birth. These tapes also include genital close-ups, and scenes of artificial insemination and semen collection. Any humans involved are veterinarians, livestock handlers, or fully-clothed bystanders: there is no bestiality on any of these tapes, so they're legal to own anywhere in the US, and probably every other country as well. The following web pages give detailed tables of contents for each video, along with explanations of the special abbreviations I use in the listings.

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## What I Offer:

"Zebras" (122 minutes) -- $25.00
Someone took a camcorder to a zoo during zebra breeding season, and this is the result. This is a recent addition to my inventory, so I don't have a table of contents for it yet. It does have several highly explicit mating scenes, including close-ups, along with urination, defecation, and close-ups of erect penises and vulvas (winking and otherwise). Low-quality excerpts have been circulating (without the videographer's consent) for years, but I now have permission to sell copies made directly from the VHS master. Since the filmmaker gets most of the money from these videos, I may have to raise the price to $30 to make it worth my while. Get them now while they're $25. :)

"Animals #1" (123 minutes) -- $25.00 ... "Animals #2" (120 minutes) -- $25.00
"Animals #3" (120 minutes) -- $25.00 ... "Animals #4" (123 minutes) -- $25.00
"Animals #5" (120 minutes) -- $25.00
These five tapes are the result of over a decade of personal research. Hundreds of individual scenes total.

"Animal Husbandry" (133 minutes) -- $25.00
This video focuses on the breeding and artificial insemination of horses, cattle, dogs, and other livestock. The footage tends to be longer and more explicit than on the other tapes (except for "Comme des Betes," below).

"Comme des Betes" (140 minutes) -- $25.00
This highly explicit French documentary (the title translates to "Like the Beasts") was transferred to NTSC from the PAL original. The 70 minute color version is followed by a black and white copy, which is noticeably sharper, but it naturally loses a little impact from the lack of color.

"Canines" (20 minutes) ... "Cervines" (23 minutes) ... "Cetaceans" (length TBA)
"Equines" (51 minutes*) ... "Felines" (35 minutes) -- $20.00 per tape
If you're really only interested in one kind of animal, I have dubbed out the relevant footage from "Animals #1" through "Animals #4" (and from "Animals #5," for those marked with an asterisk) (but NOT from "Zebras," "Animal Husbandry," or "Comme des Betes") for your convenience. I don't have tables of contents available for these yet, but since none of the compilations (so far) are longer than an hour, I don't charge full price.

## How To Order:

To order, e-mail me a copy of the following disclaimer, with your name and the date typed into the blanks. Also let me know (if you haven't already) which video(s) you wish to order. Customers outside the USA also need to specify whether they prefer NTSC, PAL, or SECAM. Once I have this info, I'll tell you where to send payment.

       "I hereby certify that I am of legal age to view sexually-oriented
       videos, that I will not copy them for other people, and that I am
       not connected with any postal or law enforcement agency."

       Name: _____________________________________ Date: _____________

Payment is required in advance of shipment, and is accepted in the form of cash (in US dollars), personal check, certified or cashier's check, or money order (with one of the latter two being preferred). Unfortunately, I am unable to accept credit cards or wire transfers (direct bank-to-bank fund exchanges) at this time. (P.S.: Some folks offer to send their payment via Priority Mail or Express Mail; this is not necessary, as I am rarely able to check my mail more than once a week anyway. Regular mail is just fine.)

** FOR ORDERS OUTSIDE THE USA: I prefer cash (in US dollars) or an International Postal Money Order. Otherwise, I may have to pay a fee and/or wait 2-6 weeks for my bank to accept your payment. To prevent this, checks sent from other countries must be drawn on a US bank, be in US currency, and include a "MICR line" (a row of machine-readable numbers) at the bottom. Ask your bank for details. If sending currency (no coins, please), your payment must take the exchange rate into account, plus any fees my bank will charge. Rates vary by country; e-mail me for info, and I'll ask my bank.

All tapes will be labeled as software training videos and shipped discreetly. An official-looking packing slip will describe them as free evaluation copies, so you don't have to explain why you're spending money on them. Orders sent outside the US will be declared as gifts, with no value, so you shouldn't have to pay a fee to accept them. Priority Mail shipping is free in the US on orders of two or more videos; add $3 if ordering only one video. Ask me about shipping rates to other countries.

Thanks for your interest; I look forward to doing business with you!

## Special Offers:

Note: The $20 species compilation tapes are not included in the special offers, except for the reduced shipping rates when ordering two or more.

- Order any two or more videos (any length) and save $3: shipping (within the USA) is free on orders of two or more tapes.
- Order any three full-length (two-hour) videos for $70.00 (regularly $75.00)
- Order any four full-length videos for $90.00 (regularly $100.00)
- Order any five full-length videos for $110.00 (regularly $125.00)
- Order any six full-length videos for $125.00 (regularly $150.00)
- Order any seven full-length videos for $140.00 (regularly $175.00)
- Order all eight videos for $150.00 (regularly $200.00)
- For $60, you can get the first six tapes (except "Zebras" and "Animals #5," which wouldn't fit) condensed onto two cassettes in EP (6-hour) mode. That's 12 hours of footage. Please note these may not be as sharp as the full-price versions (especially in freeze-frame), but if you really want it all and are on a limited budget, this is the way to go. Also, you can use them as a preview: if the footage is impressive enough that you decide to upgrade to the full-quality versions, simply return the 6-hour tapes in good condition and get $50 credit on a larger order. (Yes, you lose $10, but that's pretty reasonable.)

## Activity Codes:

    A: anus*                         M: masturbation
    B: birth/laying eggs             N: nipples/udder*
    C: copulation                    P: penis*
    D: defecation                    S: sheath/prepuce*
    E: ejaculation (semen visible)   T: testicles (scrotum)*
    G: genitals of unknown gender*   U: urination
       (cetaceans, hyenas, etc.)     V: vulva/cloaca/genital slit*
    I: artificial insemination          (depends on species)

(Some of the ones marked with * may be very brief and will be appreciated best on a VCR with still-frame capability. :)

## Video Quality Codes:

(In {curly brackets})

{A}:
  No noticeable degradation: image and sound are excellent, with clear still-frame. Recorded in 2-hour mode on a 4-head VCR.
{B}:
  Minor degradation, but still enjoyable. Still-frame somewhat jittery. Most likely recorded in 6-hour mode or on a 2-head VCR.
{C}:
  Degradation may somewhat interfere with enjoyment, but most scenes are acceptable. Most likely due to having been copied one too many times.
{D}:
  Significant degradation: some scenes almost unintelligible, or viewable only with great effort. The only scenes I have like this are in "Comme des Betes."

## Explicitness Codes:

(In {curly brackets}, usually after the quality codes, or wherever there's room. This section is still very much under construction, and is a matter of subjectivity: your opinions may vary, though I've tried to be consistent. Lately, to save typing and space, I've been omitting the curly brackets, and just writing the explicitness codes right after the activity codes.)

{1}: Rated X.
  Unusually graphic, explicit, or lengthy; more so than is normal for nature shows; enough so it appears the cameraman was _trying_ to be extreme.
{2}: Rated R.
  Explicit and/or lengthy enough to be well worth taping, but still within the norm for wildlife documentaries and so forth.
{3}: Rated PG-13.
  Typical nature show scene. Still worth taping, but the scene is only as explicit as is needed; no effort is made to be graphic.
{4}: Rated PG.
  Scene is brief, distant, or obscure; erotic if you're looking for it, but most people would barely notice it. Most scenes marked with tildes (~) are rated {4}.

Index -- Updated Friday, May 11, 2001 -- E-mail Actaeon