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# "Comme des Betes"

### 140 minutes (70 min. twice), $25.00

"Comme des Betes" (the title translates to "Like the Beasts" or "Like the Animals") is a highly explicit ({1} or {2} for all species) 70-minute French documentary on animal reproduction. It dates to 1990, is quality {C} in most places, {B} at best, and, regrettably, there are a few {D}'s as well. Some of the scenes on "CDB" are also in "Procreation in the Wild" ("PITW"), and the PITW versions tend to be slightly better video quality, but are often less explicit than CDB. The French original is in PAL or SECAM format (I forget which), and was converted to VHS from the master tape.

Note: The color version of CDB is followed by a black and white version, which is noticeably sharper (consistently {A} or {B}), but it loses some impact from the lack of color. Both versions will be included on a T-160 tape.

    Time              Subject-Action
    ============================================================================
    0:00:40-0:00:48   mandrill-p,m

       In the opening scene, a male mandrill (a type of monkey) is shown
       masturbating.

    0:00:57-0:01:10   lions-c

       The lion's erect penis is briefly visible when he withdraws.

    0:01:12-0:01:23   turtles-c

       Like it says. Close-ups of thrusting.

    0:01:45-0:01:50   lions-c

       The lion's erect penis is visible for a longer period in this scene,
       prior to penetration and thrusting.

    0:02:29-0:03:10   orangutans-v,t,c [PITW is clearer]

       This scene opens with a pair of orangutans lying prone in a field; there
       is a closeup of the female's vulva, then of the male's scrotum. After
       that, they mate face to face. No penetration is shown; only thrusting.

    0:03:52-0:03:54   deer (?)-p,v,c

       This is an _extreme_ closeup: only the genitals are visible. God only
       knows how they film this stuff. God only knows whether they have any job
       openings, for that matter. :)

    0:03:55           Thompson's gazelles-c

       Partially-erect penis is visible briefly.

    0:03:56-0:04:12   lions-p,c

       Best lion penis scenes on this tape. Full erection.

    0:04:13-0:04:24   turtles-c

       Like it says. :)

    0:04:45-0:04:56   hippos-c,v [PITW is clearer]

       The vulva is seen briefly when the female swishes her tail; the
       copulation takes place in the water; therefore, little is seen.

    0:05:35-0:07:52   mandrill-p,m,c

       This segment marks the beginning of the detailed footage. It opens with
       a male mandrill stroking his genitals and getting an erection. He then
       masturbates while a female presents her posterior to him. He continues
       to masturbate, first with his hand, then by thrusting between his feet.
       There are a few brief close-ups of the female's genitals, followed by a
       few mating scenes. [Technical note: the sound effects are of
       chimpanzees, not mandrills. :) ]

    0:09:22-0:12:15   elephants-v,p,u,c,e [PITW is clearer, but less explicit]

       This segment opens with some courtship footage, then a close-up of the
       female's breasts. A male explores a female's vulva with his trunk. She
       urinates (close-up); the male follows suit (close-up). Close-up of
       fully-dropped penis being stroked by female's trunk. Another close-up of
       penis, practically dragging the ground. Two males probe a female's vulva
       with their trunks. Another penis close-up. A male jockeys for position
       on a female's back; his penis probes around until it finds her vulva.
       After a brief mating scene, he withdraws. The male quickly returns to
       the female and, after some more jockeying, mounts her again. His penis
       probes her hips, trailing long sticky strings of semen, until he finds
       her vulva and penetrates her. Much screaming as they copulate. Close-up
       of dripping vulva after he withdraws.

    0:13:25-0:15:05   rabbits-c,v,p

       Rabbits court in a large grassy area. Several mating scenes, including
       numerous close-ups of penis, vulva and penetration, mostly from below,
       through a pane of glass on which the rabbits have been placed.

    0:16:15-0:18:42   tigers-u,p,c [PITW is clearer]

       Good stuff. A long courtship scene opens the segment. The male squats
       and urinates on the cement floor; there is a close-up of his urine
       stream and partially-erect penis. A brief close-up of the female's
       vulva. More courting, followed by a close-up of the partially erect
       penis. A copulation scene, seen from the side and front. Good
       penetration visible from rear. Another copulation scene, different view.
       The male runs around the cage for a while, obviously happy. They
       copulate again; good close-up of penis and penetration. Penetration and
       thrusting seen directly from rear. Good shot of withdrawal; erect penis
       visible. Female sprawls while male paces again.

    0:19:04-0:23:24   snails-p,c,b

       Two snails copulate in an aquarium, then one lays a cluster of eggs,
       which are later seen hatching. BTW, in some species, a snail's penis can
       be several times longer than its body (it's coiled up inside the shell
       when not in use). Just thought I'd let you know. :)

    0:23:25-0:25:15   cattle-p,v,c

       A white bull courts a female. Close-up of cow's vulva, which the bull
       licks. Close-up of penis. Bull mounts wrong end of cow. :) Bull mounts
       female correctly; close up of erection and penetration. Scenes of full
       penetration and dripping vulva. Slow-motion closeup of erect penis,
       penetration, thrusting, and wihdrawal. Another copulation; closeup of
       penis and penetration. Scrotum rises and slaps against the female's
       hips. Fluid seen dripping down shaft. Closeup of penis withdrawing into
       sheath.

    0:26:17-0:28:00   porcupines-v,p,c

       White (albino?) male porcupine courts black-and-white female. Close-ups
       of vulva and penis. Male rises and mounts female. Close-up of
       penetration and thrusting. Several mountings. Another close-up of vulva
       and extreme closeups of penetration and thrusting by penis.

    0:29:23-0:31:56   donkeys-v,a,p,c

       Donkey stallion courts female through steel fence. Close-up of anus and
       winking vulva. Closeups of penis, erection, and flare. Another close-up
       of winking vulva. Stallion tries to reach mare; he rises up and tries to
       mount her through the fence. Female is released into male's pen; male
       mounts her and rides around for a while before re-achieveing erection.
       Brief penetration scene, followed by withdrawal and a close-up of
       winking and dripping vulva. Full copulation scene, with graphic closeups
       of penetration and thrusting. Underside of penis can be seen pulsing as
       he ejaculates.

    0:32:35-0:34:47   baboons-v,c,p [PITW is clearer, but less explicit]

       Various scenes of playing baboons. Close-up of female genitals. Three
       copulation scenes. Male with erection. Another copulation, seen from
       below. Males with erections. A male grooms and is groomed by a female;
       he gets an erection. A male grooms a female's genitals. A female
       explores and licks a male's penis. Close-ups of erect penises; one
       twitches briefly.

    0:36:27-0:37:38   terrapins-p,c

       Terrapins are a kind of soft-shelled turtle. Not very erotic, you may
       say, but the shape of the male's penis is described as "une etrange
       fleur noir" ("a strange black flower"): a very apt description, and very
       interesting to look at: soft, pointed wings fan out from the glans,
       like...well, like nothing I've ever seen. Makes you wonder how it must
       feel to the female. Close-ups of vulva, penis, penetration, and
       thrusting. A regular turtle is then shown laying eggs.

    0:40:38-0:42:23   deer-u,v,p,c

       One of my favorite scenes (of course :). Roe deer gather in a forest and
       then in a large pen. Rutting male wallows in mudpit. Doe urinates.
       Close-up of vulva and erect penis. Extreme close-up of penetration and
       thrusting. Close-up of erect, dripping penis. Gang copulation. Several
       males with erections follow and mount several females. Doe squats after
       copulation and is immediately pursued and mounted by another (several?)
       bucks.  A male mounts another male who is mounting a female. A male
       mounts another male and appears to thrust into him. A male with an
       erection follows a retreating female.

    0:42:50-0:44:43   earthworms-c

       Just like it says. Two earthworms copulate, then lay "eggs," which hatch.
       Earthworms are hermaphrodites: they each bear young.

    0:46:20-0:48:34   [rock?] hyrax-p,u,v,c

       The segment opens with a courtship scene. A male with an erection
       urinates on a female and cups his hand over the end of his penis. More
       courting. More urination. Close-up of erect penis. Close-up of vulva and
       erect penis. Close-up of penetration and thrusting. More close-ups, from
       below, through a pane of glass. Lengthy thrusting. Close-up of
       penetration.

    0:49:18-0:51:25   ducks-c,p,v

       Courting ducks in pond. Close-up of penis entering vagina. Close-up of
       erect penis. Close-up of penis and penetration. Drake mounts female,
       then withdraws. Several mounting scenes in water.

    0:51:45-0:52:42   goats-p,a,v,c

       Goats courting in large pen. Doe's udder, vulva, anus distantly visible.
       Close-ups of penis. Buck mounts doe; close-up of penetration and
       thrusting. More close-ups of copulation. Udder and swinging scrotum
       visible during mating.

    0:52:55-0:54:50   wild ass (onager?)-v,p,c

       Courting. Closeup of vulva. Male mounts and rides female prior to
       erection. Male chases female around pen; holds her by the tail. Male
       gets erection. Close-up of vulva. Copulation scene. Numerous close-ups
       of penetration and thrusting. Stallion withdraws. Close-up of dripping
       penis. Close-up of winking and dripping vulva.

    0:55:30-0:58:05   Siamese fighting fish-c

       Like it says. Male and female Siamese fighting fish curl around each
       other and copulate. Female lays eggs in water.

    1:00:22-1:01:45   snowy egrets-c,p,v

       Snowy egrets build nest in tree. Egrets court and form pair bonds. Male
       mounts female. Close-up of penis entering vagina. Lengthy thrusting,
       seen from several angles. Another brief close-up of coupling. Eggs in
       nest. Another species of egrets copulate in a different tree; no
       close-ups shown.

    1:02:24-1:04:53   kangaroos-p,c,e [PITW is clearer, but less explicit]

       Kangaroos (probably wallabies) in a zoo. Male inspects female's
       genitals. Male with erection. Close-up of erection. Male licks and
       strokes own erection. Close-ups of twitching penis and scrotum.  Male
       mounts female, hangs on for dear life as she runs around. Male thrusts
       into female. Close-up of penetration and thrusting, seen from behind and
       underneath. Long string of spooge dangles from female's vulva. Close-up
       of male with (I presume) post-copulatory plug on penis. Close-up of
       receding erection.

    1:04:59-1:07:20   tigress-b [PITW is clearer]

       Tigress gives birth in secluded cage. Close-ups of vulva and emerging
       cubs. Tigress licks, grooms, and nurses cubs.

    1:09:25-1:09:48   tortoises-c

       Full-body shot, followed by close-up of penis thrusting into vagina.

    (The film closes with brief excerpts from some of the previous scenes
    described above: kangaroos, lions, goats, etc.)

    ============================================================================

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Videos: Animals #1 | Animals #2 | Animals #3 | Animals #4 | Animals #5 | Comme des Betes | Animal Husbandry | Zebras

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