# Zoophilia in Music and Art

> This faq has been slightly reformatted by Valadan. All information is still present, I have merely cleaned it up a little for web viewing. Enjoy!

Alt.sex.bestiality P.I.P.s, Version 2.00, Revised 21 March, 1996

Welcome to the PIP with culture! Please excuse the mess as this section is still under construction. If you have a contribution for this section, or you would like to do research on a topic covered in this section, please contact the FAQ keeper.

## Music

### Vintage Vinyl

- Beatles, "Dig A Pony" ["Let It Be," EMI Records]

  I-I-I dig a pony,
  Well you can celebrate anything you want.
  Yes, you can celebrate anything you want.

- Disturbingly Lonesome Cowboys, "Ol' Blue" ["Diesel Dykes Of Dixie," Ghostdancer Records]

  I came into the house, just as still as a mouse,
  filled with a burnin' dread.
  What was eatin' on me, was your cheatin' on me,
  there was red hair in my bed.
  I kinda figgur'd he'd be stonger and bigger,
  I had some prints to this warty ol' frog.
  But the least I'd 'a thought, when you were caught,
  you'd be humpin' my huntin' dog.

  Honey why'd ya fuck Ol' Blue?
  What'd he ever do to you?
  He was a good ol' pup 'til you fucked 'im up.
  Why'd ya fuck Ol' Blue? Honey, why'd ya fuck ol' Blue?

- The Dayglo Abortions, "Two Dogs Fucking" ["Two Dogs Fucking / Deux Chien Fourrent," Fringe Product, Inc.]

  The mayor of Nipean went for a walk in the park
  to admire the beauty of his man-made nature.
  He came upon a site that made his blood run cold
  So he called upon the Mighty Lord to help him with his foe,
  it was

  Two dogs fucking,
  stuck ass to ass,
  entwined in bestial romance!

  It was obscene so he called the police.
  They sent an officer named Jim Fitzgibbons.
  They came up with a plan that involved a bucket of cold water
  to be thrown on the fornicating demons,
  but they had to face

  Two dogs fucking,
  stuck ass to ass,
  entwined in bestial romance!

- Wynonie Harris, "Keep On Churnin'" ["Bloodshot Eyes, The Best of Wynonie Harris," Rhino Records] ["Risque Rhythm; Nasty 50's R&B," Rhino Records]

  Keep on churnin' 'til the butter comes.
  Keep on churnin' 'til the butter comes.
  Keep on pumpin make the butter flow,
  Wipe off the paddle and churn some more.

  Little Boy Blue come blow your horn,
  Cows in the meadow, the sheep's in the corn.
  Take the sheep, leave them be,
  Bring the finest brown cow to me.

  CHORUS

  How now, brown cow, keep on eatin your hay,
  Go in your shed, be sure you're fed.
  Go in your shed, be sure you're fed,
  Daddy needs butter for his shortnin bread.

  CHORUS

  Ooo now, milk cow, keep on swishin your tail,
  Don't kick over the pail.
  First comes the milk, then comes the cream,
  Takes good butter to make your daddy scream.

  CHORUS

  I wanted some butter one day,
  Fine brown cow came my way.
  We kept on pumpin'
  Butter came jumpin.
  I'll milk you, cow, 'til my pail is full,
  Look out, heifer, here comes your bull!

- Lee Dorsey, "Ride Your Pony" ["A History of New Orleans Rhythm and Blues," Rhino Records]

  Ride your Pony,
  Get on your pony and ride.
  Ride your Pony,
  Get on your pony and ride! Oh you're ridin' high.

  Get ready now shoot, shoot, shoot.

- The Galaxies and The Regulars, "Ride Your Horse" ["Land Of A Thousand Dunces," Candy Records]

  <Whinney> Ride your horse!
  Who's gonna ride horse? <women's voices>
  We're gonna ride horse! <men's voices>
  We want a tame horse! <women's voices>
  We want a wild horse! <men's voices>
  Ride your horse a little while, <women's voices>
  You can do it cowboy style. <women's voices>
  Everybody's gonna ride horse! <all together>

- Kinky Friedman and The Texas Jewboys, "Asshole From El Paso" ["Old Testaments and New Revelations," Fruit of the Tune]

  We don't wipe our asses on ol' glory.
  God and Lone Star Beer are things we trust!
  We keep our women virgins 'til they're married.
  So ho's and sheep is good enough for us.

  And I'm proud to be an Asshole from El Paso,
  place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
  You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos,
  and the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.

- Johnny Bucket, "Let Me Play Wit' Yo' Poodle" ["Sin Alley, Part One," Crypt CD]

  Now your little poodle look kinda cute an' neat,
  I wonder what it'd do wit' some home fried meat.

  I wanna play wit' yo' poodle.
  Please let me play wit' yo' poodle.
  I wanna play wit' yo' poodle,
  I mean your little poodle dog.

- P.D.Q. Bach, "Missa Hilarious" by P.D.Q.Bach on ["Portrait of P.D.Q.Bach," Vanguard Records]

  Angus Dei!
  Angus Dei!

  She looks so nice just standing there,
  All covered with the dew.

  Angus Dei!
  Angus Dei!

  She's the prettiest cow I've ever seen,
  And I have seen a few!

- Pearl Jam, "Animal" Album: "Vs."

  I'd rather be with an animal.

- Def Leppard, "Animal" [Album name and label unknown]

  And I want, and I need, and I love, Animal.

- Front 242, "Zoo Animal" [Album name and label unknown]

  When I look in the mirror,
  all that I see is a zoo animal that wants to be free,
  just get away, get away from me,
  'cause I'll never be who you want me to be.

- Paul McCartney, "Jet" (Written for a female dog) [Album name and label unknown]

  Our maker, I want Jet to always love me.
  Our maker, you know I want little Jet to always love me.
  Our maker, I wouldn't trade her...
  Sufferin' Jet!

- Nine Inch Nails, "Closer" [Album name and label unknown]

  I wanna fuck you like an animal,
  I wanna feel you from the inside

- The Byrds, "Chestnut Mare" ["Untitled," Columbia records (LP G-30127 / 45 4-45259)]

  Always alone; never with the herd.
  Prettiest mare I've ever seen;
  Have to take my word.
  I'm gonna catch that horse if i can;
  And when i do i'll give her my brand;
  And we'll be friends for life;
  She'll be just like a wife.
  I'm gonna catch that horse if I can.

- Phish, "Llama" [Album name and label unknown]

  (Lyrics unavailable)

- Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Naked In The Rain" [Album name and label unknown]

  (Lyrics unavailable)

- W.A.S.P., "Fuck like a Beast" [Album name and label unknown]

  (Lyrics unavailable)

- Enigma, "Mea Culpa" (remix) [Album name and label unknown]

  (Lyrics unavailable]

- Inspiral Carpets, "I Can't Feel You Moo" [Album name and label unknown]

  (Lyrics unavailable]

- Prince, "Alphabet Street" from Lovesexy, by Prince ["Lovesexy," label unknown]

  You kiss your enemies like you know you should,
  then you jerk your body like a horny pony would.

- Timbuk 3, "Sample the Dog" ["Eden Alley," label unknown]

  There's a new age family down in North Caroline..
  A dog named Jamaica,
  A daughter named China,
  A son that plays in a band, called Sample the Dog

  New age music on the stereo,
  Dust on the keys of the piano.
  And China's in the kitchen, tryin' to sample the dog.

  Sample the dog... (sounds of sampled dog, barking...)

- Frank Zappa, "Dirty Love" ["Overnight Sensation," label unknown]

  Give me your dirty love
  Like you might surrender to some dragon in your dreams.
  Give me your dirty love
  Like a pink donation to some dragon in your dreams.

  I don't need your sweet devotion
  I don't want your cheap emotion
  Whip me up some dragon lotion for your dirty love.

  Give me your dirty love
  Like some tacky little pamphlet in your daddy's bottom drawer.
  Give me your dirty love
  I don't believe you never seen that book before.

  I don't need no consolation
  I don't want your reservation
  I only got one destination and that's your dirty love.

  Give me your dirty love
  Just like your mama make her fuzzy poodle do.
  Give me your dirty love
  The way your mama make that nasty poodle chew.

  I'll ignore your cheap aroma
  And your little-bo-peep diploma
  I'll just put you in a coma with some dirty love.

  THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie)
  THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Snap it!)
  THE POODLE BITES! (Come on, Frenchie)
  THE POODLE CHEWS IT! (Snap it!)

  [Continue to fade, including comments such as...]

  (Not a speck of cereal)
  (Nothin but the best for my dog!)
  (Little paws stickin' up)
  (Little curly head)

- The Fugs, "Homemade/My Baby Done Left Me (And I Feel Like Homemade Shit)" ["Golden Filth: The Best of the Fugs (Reprise)," label unknown]

  In this hilarious spoof of country weepers, Ed Sanders sings about all the things he is willing to do if only "Claire June" will come back, one of which is "Gonna give up heifer fuckin'"

- Nine Inch Richards, "Closer" ["Closer to Hogs," Shock Records (PO Box 434, Richmond 3121, Australia)]

  From what I've been told this album contains quite a few little gems but some of the more interesting send up's I've been told of include lines like; "Did I tell you I knew Lassie...personally?!", "I really go for a cow in tight leather" and "You know I reckon Noah's Ark would have been just like the Love Boat."

  On the insde of the CD jacket the disclaimer reads, "It is not our intention to promote wanton sex with animals. (We believe that an emotional component is necessary for successful relationships between consenting animals.)"

- John Denver, "Grandma's Feather Bed" ["Back Home Again," RCA]

  It was nine feet high and six feet wide,
  soft as a downy chick.
  It was made from the feathers of fourty-'leven geese,
  took a whole bolt of cloth for a tick.
  It'd hold eight kids and four hound dogs
  and a piggie we'd stole from the shed.
  We didn't get much sleep but we had a lot of fun
  on grandma's feather bed.

- Queen, "Delilah" ["Innuendo," Hollywood Records]

  In a love song to his cat, Freddie Mercury verses;

  Delilah, I love you, you make me so very happy,
  you give me kisses and i go out of my mind

- Peter Schickele, (P.D.Q. Bach), "Oedipus Tex: Finale" ["Oedipus Tex and Other Choral Calamities," Telarc (CD-80239)]

  Only PDQ Bach could take the story of Oedipus Rex and make a western out of it. Imagine Oedipus as a drifting cowboy, early on in the piece he sings:

  Lately my thoughts have been driftin' towards the ladies.
  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my pony best of all.

  Well, after the whole sordid story of incest, suicide, and self mutilation had been told (sounds like something from a.s.stories, doesn't it? :), the moral is presented in the finale:

  Well the moral of the story is, of course,
  Don't love your mother, pardner, save it for your horse.
  I guarantee you will be filled with great remorse
  If you give your mama love you should be saving for your horse.

  Save it for your horse!
  Save it for your horse!
  Don't be a prisoner of remorse,
  Take your love and save it, save it, save it for your horse!

  (Repeat with minor variations to end.)

- Frank Zappa, "Babette" ["You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore, Volume 1" Rykodisc (RCD 10081)]

  The 1974 band had nightly routines, also...improvised 'folkloric news flashes' dealing with the previous day's road activities which, in some instances, bordered on science fiction.

  The song is about a supposed affair between the band's road manager and Babette, a dog.

- Frank Zappa, "The Hounds" ["Puttin' On The Dog" (CBS Records, 1979)]

  Horses

  I was into horses long before you caught my eye.
  Lunging through the forest, gripped the passion of the ride.
  Lying in the sunshine just before a summer storm.
  Took you for the first time. Rode the finest flesh of all

  (refrain)
  I like horses -- won't you take me for a ride?
  I like horses -- won't you take me for a ride?
  I'm your rider -- you'll let me ride you tonight.

  Swing into the saddle, love to see your nostrils flare.
  Clinging tightly to you, I get tangled in your hair

  (refrain)

  Now we're back and flying. Tears of joy run down your face
  With me r'underneath me, don't you know you'll win the race?

- Cat Stevens, "I love my dog" ["The very best of Cat Stevens", Island Records]

  Excerpts:
  ...I love my dog as much as I love you...
  ...all he ever needs is love, and that he knows he will get...

- The Allman Brother's Band, "Midnight Rider" ["Idlewild South" and "A Decade of The Allman Brother's Band"] [label(s) unknown]

  Although not truly a zoo'ish song, it was brought to my attention that this was as perfect a 'Fence Jumper's Anthem' as you could find! So the Allmans have earned themselves an honourable mention :)

  But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no,
  Not gonna let 'em catch the midnight rider.

## Art

### The performing arts

- "Equus", by Peter Shaffer
  London stage, 1973
  ISBN 0233965432

  This play, which was later portrayed on the silver screen, is the story of a young man who is troubled by his love of a horse. Told through the eyes of his shrink, it's representation of zoos is not top notch but is still a great read or a good way to kill a Sunday afternoon if it just so happens to wind up in your local playhouse.

- "Rosa," written by Peter Greenway

  Although we're still hunting for someone who has heard or read this opera, I've been told by a very reliable source that it's about zoo- philia. I'll be petitioning the New York Opera to put on a performance this season :)

- "Futz; who do you want, Peire Vidal?", by Rochelle Owens
  Broadway stage, 1986
  ISBN 0881450405

  A play about a man's love for a pig.

### On the silver screen

"I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows." Groucho Marx in "Duck Soup"

"Because he only talked to the animals!" Rex Harrison in "Dr. Doolittle"

- Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

  Jim Carrey stars as a doggie detective in this 1994 comedy. Zoo'ish eyebrow raisers include the line, "You really love animals, don't you? Only when it's cold enough." and various other hints. IMNSHO, a kind of stupid movie but worth the watch for the zoo implications.

- Four Weddings And A Funeral

  In this 1994 British comedy, Tom, a relative of main character played by Hugh Grant, confesses his love of a beautiful female Labrador Retriever late in the movie. Also featured are plenty of 'Scotsman and Sheep' jokes throughout. Ending credits feature wedding photos of Tom, the distant cousin who he marries, and the Labrador :) An excellent movie, with or without the zoo references!

- Jackson County Jail

  This 1970's action / adventure film features a clip in the beginning where our heiroine, a female ad. exec., is showing a clip of a commercial for a woman's sanitary napkin to a bunch of male CEOs. The commercial shows a woman riding a horse. The head CEO says the commercial is blatantly sexual by noting, "We can't show that! You know what they say about women and horses."

- Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex, (But Were Afraid To Ask)

  In this popular Woody Allen comedy, Gene Wilder is a doctor who has one of his patients bring in a sheep who he is in love with. Gene tells the patient that he should see a shrink, but the guy ignores him, saying that it's the sheep who needs the help ('cause she doesn't love him anymore) and that Gene has been recommended as 'the best doctor in the world'

  Gene relucantly accepts, and when the two of them are alone (Gene and the sheep) he starts to feel attracted to her...

  Eventually, Gene and the sheep run off together and have an affair, but Gene's wife eventually discovers this, and catches both of them in the act. And the story ends with the original lover of the lamb finding her and taking her back to his home across the ocean, leaving Gene all alone in the world.

- Terminator

  Though not exactly the movie I was expecting to have a zoo reference in it either, I was recently reminded of Sgt. Vokuvich's (played by Lance Hendrikson) statement to Lieutenant Traxler (played by Paul Winfield) while watching the police department shrink interview Kyle Rees, (played by Micheal Beihn), "That Silverman really cracks me up. Last week he had some guy in here who was having sex with his Alsation." Unfortun- ately, Traxler was quick to shut him up before he could finish the story :)

- Airplane!, The Movie

  "...you know what it means when Sparky rubs up against your leg?" asked the ever ambitious Captain Over, before coming down with fish poisoning. Oh, and don't forget the captain's wife in bed with the horse. Remember, it's dangerous to smoke in bed, even if you're doing it after having sex with your horse.

  Similar bestiality humor exists in the sequal, Airplane! II.

- Padre Padrone

  This is the story of a young boy growing up in Sicily, I think. Watch out for the "talking sheep."

- A Zed and Two Noughts

  Director Peter Greenaway's classic study of death, decay and zebras. The zoophilia references flow thick and fast and some are about as subtle as a basebal bat to the head :)

- Mazeppa

  You think you like horses? Well, consider 19th-century French painter Theodore Gericault. 'Mazeppa' shows us the extremes of his equine passion: he sleeps with horses, helps them deliver foals, and sweats while he watches them mate, all the better to understand his subject . . . Gericault (Miguel Bose') becomes obsessed with horses . . . A troupe member relates to him the Ukrainian legend of Mazeppa, a young page who got caught up in a romance with his master's bride -- for which he was strapped naked to a horse and sent galloping to an unknown destination. Gericault's parallel fate is thus rendered inevitable . . . The acting is flawless and the cinematography equally masterful.

- We Think The World Of You

  The story of a love triangle between two gay men and a female German Shepherd.

- Top Secret

  This movia contains a great many bovine sex references, including the scene where two spies in a cow costume get jumped by a bull and then, later on, get, erm, 'suckled' by a calf.

- Kentucky Fried Movie

  Various zoo and bestiality references. One segment near the end shows cream pies thrust against various body parts (nude breasts and buttocks especially) and one of the last hits is against a horse's flank.

- Bachelor Party

  Tom Hanks is on his last night as a free man. His friends hire a stripper who will have sex with a donkey which they have kidnapped. Hanks intros her as a woman who doesn't believe love should be confined to one's own species. She doesn't actually get naked, and all she does is shake her tits in the animal's muzzle before the donkey dies of a drug overdose.

### Glued to the tube

- Cheers, "Back home in Indiana"

  Sam: "Okay -- I don't know about Indiana, but around here when guys get together to send another guy to his doom, things can get a little raunchy." (Cliff snickers)

  Woody: (Seriously) "You fellas ever dress up farm animals in women's clothing?"

  Sam: (Does a double-take) "...No."

  Woody: (Smirking) "Well then, I'm one up on you."

- Frasier, "Freres Heureux"

  A character unknown was quoted in this episode as saying, "You wouldn't believe what this man does with eels." while preparing some eels to eat. Another character, a police officer, replied, "I put a guy in jail for that once."

### Hangin' on the wall

THIS SECTION STILL UNDER CONTRUCTION

### Poetry and Prose

THIS SECTION STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION