# How To: Dogs

> This faq has been slightly reformatted by Valadan. All information is still present, I have merely cleaned it up a little for web viewing. Enjoy!

Alt.sex.bestiality P.I.P.s, Version 1.02, Revised 21 March, 1996

## Guide to sex with bitches

1. Getting Started

   The female dog normally comes on her first heat between the ages of nine and fifteen months. Attempting intercourse with her at this time is not recommended since these changes in her biochemistry are confusing enough without having you trying to do wierd things to her. I would strongly suggest waiting until her second heat if all appears normal.

2. The right bitch for you

   As a rule of thumb, a dog the size of your average German Shepherd Dog is large enough to comfortably accomodate your average sized human male. However, this is not always true. I will go into further detail about signs of discomfort and warning signs later. Saint Bernards, Great Danes, Newfoundlands and other huge breeds should have no problems accommodating a human male.

3. Prepararation is the key!

   In preparing to have sex with your dog, you'll need to run down to the local drug store and pick up a few things. Namely: KY Jelly, (do NOT use a petroleum or oil based lubricant). Wet and Astro Glide, both of which can be found at your local adult shop, work as well. Also, if you're near a medical or veterinary supply, surgical lubricants are good too; latex gloves. If you're going to be messing around with a stray dog or a dog you do not own it doesn't hurt to rubber up! You can get infections or a fever from bitches with vaginal infections or brucellosis, (see the 'Zoophilia and Your Health' PIP for more information on this topic); condoms. If sharing a dog or picking up a stray, protect yourself. Although dogs do not carry AIDS, it has been theorized that the virus could survive long enough inside a bitches' vagina long enough for you to contract it, or anything else, if you have sex with her immediately after an infected person. Remember also that if she has a yeast or bacterial infection, you could get it too; surgical soap. If you know the bitch is in good health and you'd like to insert whatever strikes your fancy into her, I recommend you clean it thoroughly. A bitches' vagina is a very vascular area and, especially when in heat, is quite susceptable to infection; nail clippers. Nails could carry dirt on them or scratch the delicate inner lining of a bitches' vagina. Cut them nails down and file them. You'll also look stunning with your new manicure :); and lastly, MilkBones! Buy these with everything else if you really want to squick the counter people :)

4. In the trenches

   Once you've got your bitch and your supplies, it's time to get to work. I do not suggest attempting sex with a bitch out of season, especially if she is not your dog. You may wind up getting bit, which may mean changing your name to John Wayne Bobbitt. A bitch in heat is your best bet, but just because she's wet and smells nice doesn't mean she's 'in the mood.' How can you tell if she's in the mood? Check the discharge. The discharge of a bitch in 'Standing Heat' should be pinkish / creamy white. This cycle lasts for between seven and nine days and is in the middle of the complete heat cycle.

   If the discharge is a dark, blood red, she's just coming into or going out of heat. It never hurts to try but DO NOT force her. She may say no the first time. Bitches are known to tease and may jump forward or fall over in front of you. However, if she reacts hostily to you, STOP IMMEDIATELY.

   Definate signs that a bitch is receptive are; Flagging--raising of the tail over the back exposing the genitals, Soliciting--rubbing her butt in your crotch, sitting on your face, etcetera, and Play Posing--being excessively playful, jubilant, etcetera.

   Once you're both consenting, you may consider some foreplay. Fingering her will bring you both hours of joy and amusement :) The bitches' "clitoris" is located about 3/4-1" (in large breeds) into the vagina. The clitoral ridge is fairly prominant so easy to find. Rubbing this will cause her to start thrusting and she'll love you for every moment of it. If she's your dog or if you're certain she's healthy, you may want to engage in some 'puppylingus.' Most bitches have a bitter-sweet taste when in standing heat and I definately recommend the aroma.

   With all teasing done, it's time to start your engines! The vagina of a female dog takes a sharp turn upward so you will have to enter from a seventy-five to eighty degree angle. The average body temperature of a dog is 101-102 degrees Fahrenheit so expect her to very hot and moist. I don't believe I need to tell you what to do from here on in <grin>. Enjoy!

5. Out of heat and spayed bitches

   If the bitch is your own you may want to try her out of heat. The same rules apply except be sure and use an excessive amount of lube and be very careful. You can do a lot of damage if you try and force her and that'll be a difficult one to explain to the vet.

   Most spayed bitches cannot have intercourse because of the removal of their reproductive organs. They do not come into heat and very few show interest in sex. You can try 'fingering' a spayed bitch of 'puppylingating' her but intercourse is strongly advised against unless you have extensive experience.

6. Anal Sex

   The same rule of thumb for size applies to anal sex as well. There are some dogs that like anal sex, others that tolerate it, and those that can't stand it. Most dogs will not be immediately comfortable with anal sex but if you choose to continue, instructions on how to do so follow. If your dog reacts with an expression of pain or anger, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Your dog is not suited for anal intercourse.

   Start by touching the anal area of your dog and let them get comfortable with it. Do not dive right in and insert anything. Wait until they freely alow you to touch under their tail. Be patient. While touching around their tail, wear gloves. Numerous worms and bacteria which can cause a variety of illnesses can be found in dog feces. NEVER MAKE ORAL CONTACT WITH A DOG'S ANUS. The result could be a nasty infection or a case of tape, ring, or hookworms, among others. Once your dog is comfortable with you feeling around their anus, try inserting a VERY well lubricated, gloved finger. Do this over and over again until your dog seems comfortable with it. Once again, if your dog seems to be in pain or react violently, STOP and DON'T try again. Gradually increase the number of gloved, well lubricated fingers you use until the number of fingers inserted comfortably represents the width of your penis. You may then attempt anal intercourse with your dog.

   Remember:

   - Not every dog enjoys anal sex. The majority do not,
   - Always rubber up and never have oral contact with the anus and
   - STOP IMMEDIATELY if your dog shows signs of pain or discomfort.

   If you notice worms in your dog's stool, bring your dog to the vet with a stool sample.

   Merry Matings!

## Guide to sex with male dogs

1. Anal sex with dogs; On the receiving end

   Most male dogs are more than happy to mount you and "fuck you silly." Some are less enthusiastic than others. There are dangers to being mounted by a male dog though.

   First, one must understand the anatomy of the male canine reproductive system. A dog's penis is unlike that of a human's. The appearance, texture and sensitivity are much different. Working from the tip back, the end of a dog's penis is somewhat blunt with a slight angle. It typically swells to it's greatest shaft width along the first 2/5 then gradually tapers until you reach the bulb at the base of the exposed, unsheathed penis. The bulb, (bulbous glandis) is a large swelling at the base of the penis which consumates the tie between a bitch and adog during sex. On a German Shepherd Dog, it's normally about three to three and a half inches wide, a plenty good handful for most. If you're going to have sex with a male dog, the bulb and the Os Penis are your main concerns. The Os Penis is a bone inside the shaft of a dog's penis. If he gets overly excited and starts thrusting rapidly, you could get jabbed with it and, if you do, trust me, you won't sit comfortably for days.

   If you allow a dog to mount you there is a definate chance that you may tie with him--that the bulb, (also known as the knot) will swell inside of you and keep you two stuck together. If you do not prepare yourself, you could be in for fifteen to thirty minutes of agony. Start loosening yourself up using whatever you can fit up your anus. Graduated dildos work very well and are available at most adult stores. Wait until you are comfortable with at least a three inch circumference before taking on a dog.

   To get a dog to mount you, grasp his sheath gently and start rubbing the base of it, near his ballsac. He should, at that time, start thrusting. Some dogs will try and mount you right then and there. Remember, if it's his first time, he'll need some guidance. Even some old pro's need guidance. If he does not try to get on your back, try pulling him up and jerking him off as he 'stands' behind you. If he does not want to get on your back, try laying on your back, legs hanging off of a couch or bed, and have him lay on top of you, on your belly, and try it that way. Once you've got him to mount you, attempt to guide his penis into you. Remember, if he misses, that os penis can hurt. Once inside of you, you can lave most of what's left up to him. If he ties with you it is imperetive he NOT pull out of you until he starts getting softer. Otherwise, you may have one hell of a story to tell at the Emergency Room!

   Once tied, the dog will probably try and turn around so that you're butt to butt with him. This is an instinctual behaviour. If he starts trying to pull out or panics, grab whichever legs you can and try and hold him against you so he doesn't pull out. It is a very good idea to have someone else present the first time you tie a dog in case of an emergency.

   Sit back, enjoy fifteen to thirty minutes of elation, then, once he starts getting softer, let him pull out of you. Do not lick his penis or touch it with your bare hands. Not only will it be very sensitive but there will be bacteria on his penis that can make you ill. However, it will not effect him.

   Some dogs may not want to mount or show an interest in mounting. Others will never tie, only sit inside of you. There are also dogs that don't turn when they are, or are not, tied. It all depends on the individual dog.

2. Anal sex with dogs; Giving

   The same written in the section on bitches applies to dogs. Refer to Anal Sex (Number Six) above for further information.

3. Vaginal sex with dogs; On the receiving end

   The same applies to females for anal and vaginal sex. Refer to number one above for more information. Those females who have spoken up about vaginal sex with male dogs have both said volumes of praise about their canine companions and stated having little to no problems accomodating the bulb.

4. Oral sex with dogs; On the receiving end

   Some dogs are natural born lickers and will lick anything and keep licking until whatever their licking is raw. Others will never lick anything in their lives. Once again, dogs as individuals will each act differently in different situations. The best way to find out how your dog will react is to give it a shot. If your dog is not too enthusiastic about licking, try using gravy, peanut butter or any other treats you dog might enjoy. DO NOT use chocolate based products or chocolate as large amounts of chocolate can be toxic for dogs. Both males and females alike have testified to the pleasures to be derived from oral sex with dogs.

5. Oral sex with dogs; Giving

   A dog's penis is very sensitive so be careful when handling it. When exposed, the penis is prone to dry out if not constantly wet. Spit works well. Try and avoid smeering it on with your hand. Using your tongue is much more fun anyways :)

   To get a dog aroused, use the same process as described above. Grasp the sheath near it's base, close to the dog's ballsac, and start rubbing rapidly. You will be able to feel the bulb become more defined within the sheath and you must pull the sheath back before it get's too large to fit out the slit. Otherwise, your dog will be uncomfortable until his erection subsides. When thrusting, you can either take the dog's penis into your mouth or coninue to rub beind the knot. You must be very careful if you choose to take the dog's penis into your mouth, remembering how sensitive it is and keeping him from scraping his member on your teeth.

   Once fully erect, experiment! Most dogs will just stand and pant away happily as you lick, suck, or rub their cocks. Expect him to stay hard for five to fifteen minutes on average.

   Dog cum is quite tasty, usually bitter sweet, and continues to shoot from the time he's about half hard and coming out of his sheath to the time when he starts going back into his sheath. Refer to the chart below for semen volume counts.

6. Oral sex with dogs; Neutered males

   Most neutered males lack any interest in having sex. Some are capable of maintaining a half-erection for a short period of time and ejaculating prostatic fluid. If you encounter a neutered male and try masturbating him, stop if he seems uncomfortable. Some will be, some won't be, but don't expect a neutered male to behave like an un-neutered male. He won't.

7. Docking

   Docking is the insertion of the penis into the sheath or muzzle of a dog. Once again, tolerance to these activities all depends on the dog. I normally strongly discourage docking muzzles. It is exceptionally danger- ous and could result in some hard to explain hospital visits. If docking the sheath, see how your dog reacts to having a well lubricated finger stuck in his sheath. If he doesn't seem to mind, try inserting several well lubricated fingers, one at a time, until you've adequately represented the width of your own penis. If he continues not to mind, you can try inserting your penis into his sheath. Be sure and use plenty of lube. You may want to flush his sheath first with a water enema or a douche. There are a number of dead skin cells and bacteria inside the sheath which could cause urinary tract or other types of infections.

   Merry Matings!

8. What does dog semen have in it?

   > This section compiled by Dogzoo

   Volume: 7-10 cc with a variation from 0.5 to 20cc Water percentage: 97% (highest of animals) vs. man at 90% (lowest)

   Contents: Ash, protein, lipids, potassium, sodium, calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, iron, chlorides, sulphur, amino acids, albumins, proteoses, nucleoproteins, mucin, albumoses, fat globules, thiamin, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, niacin, ascorbic acid, (Vitamin C) enzymes and fructose.

   Prostate fluid is highly alkaline, which neutralizes acids in the bitches' vagina. Naturally, larger dogs produce more semen than smaller breeds.

   Reference: "Vet obstetrics and genital diseases," S. Roberts, Edwards Brothers Publishing

9. How large is a dog's penis?

   > This section compiled by Dogzoo

       Breed                Useable Length (inches)       Diameter (inches)
       Cocker Spaniel...... 2.0-3 ....................... 0.5-1
       Greyhound........... 2.5-3 ....................... 0.5-1
       Bulldog............. 2.5-5 ....................... 1
       Dalmatian........... 3-4.5 ....................... 1
       Collie.............. 4-5 ......................... 1
       Labrador............ 4-6 ......................... 1
       Irish Setter........ 4-6 ......................... 1
       German Shepherd..... 5-7 ......................... 1.5
       Great Dane.......... 5-7 ......................... 1.5
       Saint Bernard....... 7-9 ......................... 1.5-1.75
       Mastiff............. 7.5 ......................... 1.5-1.75