1 00:01:13,370 --> 00:01:14,550 So... 2 00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:15,820 how's it going, 3 00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:17,220 Berlin? 4 00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:18,650 Berlin this time, how are you doing? 5 00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,650 I know it's a little late! 6 00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:22,650 You guys all good tonight? 7 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,650 Great! 8 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,670 Ich bin ein Berliner, man! 9 00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:31,900 The city is crazy! 10 00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:33,770 I love this city tho, 11 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,950 Alector Fencer has been dragging me 12 00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:37,950 through the city for the last few days 13 00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:39,800 Going to see things and do stuff 14 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,800 and this is the biggest, baddest-ass 15 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,800 party town I think in the world! 16 00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:45,050 It's Berlin right here! 17 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,720 People were getting drunk 18 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,720 and jumping off of buildings 19 00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:51,720 just to see who could make 20 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,870 the craziest looking chalk outline when they'd hit! 21 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,250 For all your newcomers out there, 22 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:00,270 welcome to the fandom, 23 00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:02,270 welcome, it's good to have you, 24 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,270 a few guidelines 25 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,750 for you to follow: 26 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,500 First of all, 27 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,900 If you're in an elevator, 28 00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,520 or a stairwell, 29 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,520 and you begin to choke 30 00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:16,570 on some kind of nauseaous gas, 31 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,620 don't panic: 32 00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:19,870 it's not a terrorist attack! 33 00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:21,870 That's just the way we like to 34 00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:24,170 "man" up the place. 35 00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:26,950 Mark our terrority! 36 00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:29,370 When people walk in the door 37 00:02:29,370 --> 00:02:30,820 we wanna smack them in the face 38 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,820 with our balls from ten meters away! 39 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,420 *whoomp!* 40 00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:37,420 You know... 41 00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:41,370 Number 2: 42 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,120 If a fursuiter approaches you and 43 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:43,900 and says, 44 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:45,900 "It's dangerous to go alone...!" 45 00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,950 ..he IS actually going to give you a sword. 46 00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:53,500 Just not the kind you think he's going to. 47 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,120 My suggestion: 48 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,870 if he chases you, 49 00:02:56,870 --> 00:02:59,200 is to run downstairs. 50 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,200 Fursuiters falling downstairs is 51 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,670 the most adorable death ever! 52 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,470 Number three: 53 00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:10,470 If you are in a room party, 54 00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:12,470 and you pass out, 55 00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:13,950 or fall asleep, 56 00:03:13,950 --> 00:03:16,270 you then become what us furries refer to 57 00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:18,750 as a CWH: 58 00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:22,170 a collection of warm holes. 59 00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:25,320 You cannot get the full 60 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,320 full furry experience unless you 61 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,770 have done this at least once! 62 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,300 If you leave here at the end of the con, 63 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,200 without feeling like a train has 64 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,700 wrecked across all of your junk 65 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,400 then you did it wrong and you 66 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,850 don't get your furry license. 67 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:43,900 and finally: 68 00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,900 if by the end of the weekend 69 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,670 you feel a little bit sick 70 00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:49,170 or you have 71 00:03:49,170 --> 00:03:51,250 a painful rash in a sensitive area 72 00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:52,250 don't panic. 73 00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:53,570 That's just God saying 74 00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:55,250 that he's turned his back on you 75 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,920 and now you're going to hell with the rest of us. 76 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,920 Welcome to the furry fandom! 77 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:06,670 There was this girl on the news 78 00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:10,320 she weighed 800 pounds, 79 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,670 that's 360 kilos. 80 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,670 That's how much she weighed. 81 00:04:14,670 --> 00:04:16,670 She sat on her couch 82 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,370 for three yeas, in front 83 00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:20,220 of her TV because she 84 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,220 couldn't get up! 85 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,000 And nobody could lift her. 86 00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:25,900 When they came and they tried to 87 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,900 rescue her from the couch 88 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,170 that was the exact 89 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,600 words of the news article: 90 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,600 "Rescue her from the couch" 91 00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:35,150 Like the couch was going: 92 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,150 "Fuck you, this bitch is mine!!" 93 00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:40,820 "I want her ass on me, 94 00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:42,820 I need the salt!" 95 00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:46,070 When they came to rescue her 96 00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:47,750 from the couch, 97 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,750 her skin had fused 98 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,550 with the fabric 99 00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:53,550 of the couch. 100 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:55,950 And... 101 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,300 I'm sitting here, thinking 102 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:00,520 HOW? 103 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,900 How does this kind of thing....? 104 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,750 You don't hall asleep on a couch 105 00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:05,750 one night weighing a normal weight and 106 00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,750 then just over night you're *blllbrlllbrrrlll* 107 00:05:08,770 --> 00:05:11,120 ...wake up in the morning, "Oh no...." 108 00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:14,250 There had to have been that 109 00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:15,620 first day... 110 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:17,300 where you realized you can't get up 111 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,300 to go take a shit, right? 112 00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:20,750 How do you just 113 00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,570 brush that off? 114 00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:24,120 Are you... you know... 115 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,120 okay.... *sigh* 116 00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:28,120 ...gnnnn..... 117 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,750 eeuuuugh.... 118 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,750 hnnnng...... 119 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,750 Ooohhh..... aaahhh...... 120 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,370 Ooohhhh.... 121 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,350 PIZZAAAAA! 122 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:43,900 I mean, how?! 123 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:46,320 And people are blaming the food? 124 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,320 They're blaming the food on this! 125 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:49,750 Oh it's the evil trans fats! 126 00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:52,800 Trans fats? 127 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,600 The women's body was trying to 128 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,600 eat the couch!! 129 00:05:57,470 --> 00:05:59,400 TRANS FATS?? 130 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,170 You'd have to be eating 131 00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:03,170 Trans Ams!! 132 00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:07,100 So... 133 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,450 No no no no.... 134 00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:09,400 Hey, I gotta... I... 135 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:10,720 Let's bring in a solution! 136 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,720 Let's staple her stomach in half! 137 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,900 Here we go, problem solved! 138 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,900 Now, don't do that. 139 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,770 Don't go out and spend your life saving 140 00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:21,620 $10000 for some jerkball to come in 141 00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:22,770 andstaple your stomach in half. 142 00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:24,000 The real question is: 143 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,170 Where was this women's friends? 144 00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:28,170 Why didn't she get moral support? 145 00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:29,770 Who were the people 146 00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:31,500 who were supposed to give enough of a shit 147 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:32,970 about this woman to go up to her and 148 00:06:32,970 --> 00:06:34,470 slap the pizza out of her hand and 149 00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:36,300 give her a fucking carrot? 150 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,070 Where were they? 151 00:06:38,070 --> 00:06:39,820 Don't do that! 152 00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:42,270 If you've got a problem with 153 00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:44,270 your weight and you want to eat less, 154 00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,270 try one or two of Gordon Ramsey's recipes 155 00:06:46,270 --> 00:06:48,270 and you'll never eat again in your life! 156 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,450 And then you'll be thin 157 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:53,770 and you can wander into the darkness 158 00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:55,450 to say "Hey doc, screw you! 159 00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:56,920 I did it all on my own! 160 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,920 I didn't need your capitalist's pigs stupid 161 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,400 fucking, money-grabbing 162 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,400 staple operation!" 163 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,450 and you can grab the stapler, 164 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,450 and you staple his nuts to a clipboard. 165 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,650 *brrrppppbbttttzzth* 166 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:20,570 Hi everyone! 167 00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:25,070 First of all we want to appologize 168 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,070 for the delay, we had a couple of technical hiccups... 169 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:28,750 ...it's all been sorted now. 170 00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:30,750 There's no more buzz, yay! 171 00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:32,350 Thank you all for being 172 00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:34,200 so patient, this is the first time 173 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,200 we've actually ever tried something like this. 174 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,200 So it took a bit of a while to 175 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,320 figure it all out. 176 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,320 We reckon we can do a good show 177 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,550 so... 178 00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:44,170 This is a song that's based on a character 179 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,970 that Tani DaReal owns, 180 00:07:45,970 --> 00:07:47,270 she introduced me to it a short 181 00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:49,270 while... a program called 'True Blood' 182 00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,800 This is "Be Forever Mine" 183 00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:58,780 [sings "Turn the page" by Metallica] 184 00:19:10,460 --> 00:19:12,460 [sings: "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi] 185 00:22:11,620 --> 00:22:13,870 I'm the chairman of this mess 186 00:22:13,870 --> 00:22:16,270 and I'm so dead! 187 00:22:17,050 --> 00:22:19,470 This is the toughest thing I've ever done! 188 00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:21,620 You better enjoy yourselves 189 00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:23,620 or I'm going to kick your ass, alright? 190 00:22:23,970 --> 00:22:26,900 HAVE FUN ALREADY!! 191 00:23:00,570 --> 00:23:02,120 Hi! 192 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:04,120 I'm dead! 193 00:24:33,340 --> 00:24:35,340 Hör mal auf zu filmen und trink lieber! Stop filming, start drinking! 194 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,770 Ooooh, salute! 195 00:25:00,770 --> 00:25:02,770 Aaaaahh! Salute! 196 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,170 I'm serious! 197 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:29,850 I can't feel my legs anymore! 198 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,900 Stop filming me! 199 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,720 Ich hab Jäger-O gesagt I said "Jäger-O" 200 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,720 nicht O-Jäger! not O-Jäger! 201 00:27:11,900 --> 00:27:12,770 Jäger 202 00:27:12,770 --> 00:27:14,320 O! 203 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,320 Ich brauch mehr O! I need more O! 204 00:27:25,650 --> 00:27:28,000 I've got only one thing to say: 205 00:27:28,350 --> 00:27:30,250 This party here... 206 00:27:31,270 --> 00:27:33,750 is fucking, fucking awesome! 207 00:30:06,980 --> 00:30:08,980 I can't do it! 208 00:30:18,270 --> 00:30:22,100 Nooooooooooo.....!!! 209 00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:46,820 Hallo! Hello! 210 00:31:46,820 --> 00:31:48,570 Dürfen Sie das? Are you allowed to do this? 211 00:31:48,570 --> 00:31:51,070 Ich werde Sie anzeigen! I'll take you to court! 212 00:31:51,070 --> 00:31:52,900 Bitte unterlassen Sie das, please stop doing that, 213 00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:55,500 das ist eine geschlossene Veranstaltung! This is a private event! 214 00:35:12,170 --> 00:35:14,250 "Step away from the car!" 215 00:38:06,750 --> 00:38:09,270 Hat keinen Motor aber naja! It has no engine but oh well! 216 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,170 Und jetzt die Merkel-Raute! And now the Merkel sign! 217 00:38:35,170 --> 00:38:37,170 Kann ich nicht! Oh, I can't! 218 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,450 Das schneiden wir dann schön rein! We'll do that in post! 219 00:38:49,700 --> 00:38:52,100 Been a long time... 220 00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,120 How many cars can I destroy 221 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,120 in 10 minutes? 222 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,120 We can find out! 223 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:04,450 Yeah... 224 00:39:04,450 --> 00:39:05,620 On the other hand, 225 00:39:05,620 --> 00:39:08,220 I think my insurance wouldn't like me after that. 226 00:39:19,770 --> 00:39:21,770 Yeah, that's a selfie... 227 00:42:15,940 --> 00:42:17,940 [improvised music] 228 00:43:29,550 --> 00:43:32,060 I've got blisters on my fingers! 229 00:44:38,070 --> 00:44:40,400 Ich habe ein Bier I have a beer! 230 00:44:40,650 --> 00:44:42,400 und ich mag dieses! and I like it! 231 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,120 Beer! 232 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,120 It's good for you. Drink it! 233 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,400 Always. All the time! 234 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,400 Drink beer! 235 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,950 You know you're in a really crazy 236 00:44:56,950 --> 00:44:59,420 town when the most normal place 237 00:44:59,420 --> 00:45:01,420 that you've been in Berlin 238 00:45:01,420 --> 00:45:02,920 is a furry con. 239 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,520 The most normal, comfortable place, 240 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,020 it's like we can all walk outside 241 00:45:07,020 --> 00:45:08,350 and go to work like this, 242 00:45:08,350 --> 00:45:10,250 in Berlin it would be like pfff.... 243 00:45:10,250 --> 00:45:11,750 What, don't you guys party? 244 00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:13,750 What's wrong with you guys? Get weird! 245 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,020 Berlin is like naked people! 246 00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,370 And they're just 247 00:45:19,370 --> 00:45:21,050 naked! It's like, why are you naked? 248 00:45:21,050 --> 00:45:22,570 Because I am! Harblblarbl! 249 00:45:22,570 --> 00:45:24,570 And they're running around being drunk and naked, like 250 00:45:25,070 --> 00:45:26,720 And I'm looking towards the people that 251 00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:28,720 like here and they're like, "It's Berlin." 252 00:45:28,820 --> 00:45:30,350 And I'm like, "Shit!" 253 00:45:31,050 --> 00:45:32,720 Finally we get here and it's like, 254 00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:33,600 Whew! 255 00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,600 Thank god for something normal! 256 00:45:35,950 --> 00:45:38,300 Oh look, people in animal suits having sex! 257 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,120 That's cool! 258 00:45:41,620 --> 00:45:43,070 I don't wanna go back out there again, 259 00:45:43,070 --> 00:45:45,070 that's some crazy shit! 260 01:02:05,100 --> 01:02:06,800 Perkele! (Finnish: Fuck!) 261 01:04:55,220 --> 01:04:56,900 oooOOOOoooohhh.... 262 01:04:57,040 --> 01:04:59,040 boc, boc, boc, boc.... 263 01:06:22,650 --> 01:06:24,150 Hiiii! 264 01:09:12,450 --> 01:09:15,020 Oh, it's wet and stuff now... 265 01:09:52,270 --> 01:09:53,950 Very cute! 266 01:11:17,550 --> 01:11:19,450 He's off duty now! 267 01:16:48,650 --> 01:16:50,300 How was EF for you? 268 01:16:50,300 --> 01:16:52,000 It's an amazing con 269 01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:57,700 I wake up and it's already sunset 270 01:16:57,700 --> 01:17:00,300 So... it was pretty successfull 271 01:17:00,300 --> 01:17:02,300 Hat a lot of beer, 272 01:17:02,300 --> 01:17:04,100 A lot of champagne, 273 01:17:04,100 --> 01:17:06,100 Everyone's so happy, 274 01:17:06,100 --> 01:17:08,100 it's so great, so definitely one of the best 275 01:17:08,100 --> 01:17:10,100 I've had!