1
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,000
Once again, right through the shot!
2
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,820
This is how they work:
3
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:20,800
The fuel pump pumps the fuel right
4
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,520
under the bonnet, onto a
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00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,750
huge water wheel which moves the car.
6
00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:27,750
I drive a Jeep.
7
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:32,800
We have a car!
8
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:35,380
Is this collie neutered?
9
00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,380
I hope not!
10
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,800
We don't want unwanted collies around here!
11
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,480
[mumbling intensifies]
12
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,780
Who knows where these paws have been!
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00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,680
*BURRRP!!!*
14
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,120
*laughs*
15
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,120
That timing!
16
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:18,540
Ewwww!
17
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:20,540
Sorry, you've got a little bit on you there!
18
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,020
Did you make a video?
19
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,180
Did you make a video?
20
00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:01,580
Did you make a video?
21
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,420
Did you make...
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a video?
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00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,500
You bastard, stop it!
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Hello!
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00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,380
Hello!
26
00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:59,000
Hello!
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00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,220
Hello!
28
00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:25,340
Hello. Have a beer!
29
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,040
What can you do with beer that's amazing?
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00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,540
You can stick your tongue in it.
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You can pour it all over your nipples.
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00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,940
You can pour it all over...
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00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:40,940
HER nipples!
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*BUUUURRRRRRRPPP!!!!!!*
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Pardon me!
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00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:17,060
We belch to make room for more beer.
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Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!
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Garnet!
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00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,080
You're getting filmed!
40
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,800
Garnet! Garnet! Garnet! Garnet! Garnet!
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00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:29,060
Garnet! Garnet! Garnet! Garnet!
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Garnet! Garnet! Garnet! Garnet!
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She's drawing me! Come on!
44
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Stop it!
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00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:04,540
Garnet! Garnet!
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00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:07,700
She's fucking recording my own
47
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camera on me!
48
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Oh my god, he's sweaty!
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Help me out! Oooh!
50
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Don't make me spill my drink!
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I love Jay Naylor!
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00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,320
What??
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Poor....
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I did nothing!
55
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,340
Poor cat!
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Miiiine!
57
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This is mine!
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No it's not!
59
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Mine!
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My tail! Mine!
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Look at this, we have the skull...
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we understand it speaks english somewhat...
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Look at these pads, look at that shit...
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And, just to show you there's no...
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worry about extra rats!
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No extra rats!
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Having time travelled back to...
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the Eighties...
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we find ourselves unable to
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cope with the German drinking
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routine...
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it's a big fucking thing,
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I'll tell you!
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Ugh...
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Good morning everyone,
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we're now on our way
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to the airport, to retrieve
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a very special guest.
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Guten Morgen, Deutschland!
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How do you do?
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I'm Uncle Kage and we are in
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Berlin, at Eurofurence.
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This is the greatest furry convention
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in the world, we are about to begin
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Opening Ceremonies, which
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true to the legendary German
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efficiency are going to
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begin at the precise hour
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of 5 pm.
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I'd like to introduce
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Mr. Fox Amoore, who is
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an amazing celebrity person, and
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this is just for the cameraman to see, how
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pissed off he gets trying to white balance us.
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Hello, yes?
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This is the pre....
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pre opening...
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... behind the scenes...
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Nuuuuh!
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Look at this Nightfox,
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always looking nice!
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[Announcer] Hello and welcome
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to the Opening Ceremonies of
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Eurofurence 1986.
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And we'll now present to you
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the best of the best of our department
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directors. Tonight's
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first victim has more hair
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in his lungs than most have on
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their body. It's the head of
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the fursuit support team,
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Mystifur!
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Next up
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comes the man who knows everything
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about furries that you never wanted
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to know. Please welcome
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the head of security,
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Dhary!
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Nothing at this con would
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work without him, and rumours say
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that he is a reincarnated Swiss
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army knife. The head of
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ConOps: Darkwing!
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And for the first time entering
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the stage with his own theme music
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please welcome our artshow director
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Cairyn!
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Do you need to be an
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animal to be a furry? No!
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Here comes the only
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anthropomorphic color in the fandom:
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Our charity liasion
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Pinky!
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The next person
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a round of applause for our dealers den
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director: Alpha Ki!
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Next up
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is the man known for his two
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lifetime achievements: drinking
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beer in Cologne and being our
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director of registration;
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Loewi!
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His biggest point in life
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came when he fell into a cauldron
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of motor oil.
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His brain is a four stroke engine
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and his heart runs on ten cylinders:
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Ladies and Gentlemen,
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our vice chairman:
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Nightfox!
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And now. last
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but not least, the person who
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always wanted to get announced by a tape
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recording of his own voice: The
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chairman of Eurofurence:
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Cheetah!
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Yes, hello and
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welcome everybody to
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Eurofurence 22
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or Eurofurence 1986!
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I hope you're already having a good time
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Like every year we have
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a wonderful guest of honor
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and this year I'd like
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to present to you Miss
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Dorothy Hearst! Can you come up please?
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She's an author and writer
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and she writes about how
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dogs became wolves...
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or the other way... oh.
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Yes, I'm just a little bit
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nervous right now, sorry!
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I hadn't heard of furries before
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I wrote the book, but as soon as the first
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book came out people started getting in
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touch with me and I was so
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touched and warmed by the community
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I've been killed several times
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for speaking too long so I'll keep it short.
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Thank you!
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Fursuit lounge is open right next to the...
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big dance hall for all the fursuiters
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Last year many of you told me
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Oh, thee fursuit lounge is smaller this year
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turns out they just have been in the
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mini lounge in the lobby. We have a hall
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as large as this one right next door for the
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fursuiters.
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Hello. First of all
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sorry for looking like a hobo, I spent the last
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hours in the ceiling.
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The wonderful decoration
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that Jason Blake designed and that I
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hung up tonight is a little bit
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sensitive so my first word of
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advoce to you and a friendly request
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please don't
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damage our decoration
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you know who you are.
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Same goes for the lift:
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Like every year I need to advise you
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that our lifts are sensitive equipment
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abd they need to be handled by
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adults. Treat them nicely
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and they will treat you nicely.
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And the last thing before
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I continue the stick,
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please, if you are on your first
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convention let me
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suggest to attend the first furry con panel
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run by our wonderful guest Kage.
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He and myself, and let me
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explain what not to do.
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Oh yeah, and 6 2 1.
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And we saved the best for last:
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Loewi, registration!
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I wasn't supposed to be the last, was I?
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I looked up on the wrong list.
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Okay, I don't have
220
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that much to say as always:
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Last year we had
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an attendance of
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2220 attendees...
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As of today we have
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an incredible number of
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2643.
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Alright...
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what do we have, does anybody else
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some expired chocolate?
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One question to ask a taur:
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How do they go to the toilet,
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how do they shower,
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what happens when they go lame on a leg,
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what convention they use?
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Do you eat horse food or...
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Go away!
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What's best about a con is when you are
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that buzzy little drunk
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00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,320
and you have this cute fuzzy
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It's not scratching me so it must be good!
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Not yet!
242
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:47,740
Damn, I need to boot!
243
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I developed an allergy to cameras.
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That started the day before yesterday,
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when someone pointed one of those giant cams
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at me, and
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now I have a scratch in my throat when
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that red light.... there it is again!
249
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Yes, that's better.
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00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:06,600
*coughs* Damn!
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From 11pm, we'll film back!
252
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You're all stupid!
253
00:49:47,240 --> 00:49:48,300
Guess what this is?
254
00:49:48,300 --> 00:49:50,300
Fox!
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Fox!
256
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:58,540
Fox!
257
00:49:58,540 --> 00:50:00,540
*growls*
258
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Fox fox fox fox....
259
00:50:02,540 --> 00:50:03,040
Fox!
260
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:04,400
*whines!*
261
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Fox!
262
00:50:05,020 --> 00:50:07,020
*whiiines!*
263
01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:38,050
A year ago,
264
01:10:38,050 --> 01:10:41,200
I was invited to be a guest.
265
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:44,070
At, of all things, an anime convention.
266
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You all understand, anime, that's the Japanese
267
01:10:46,070 --> 01:10:48,070
animation fandom, that's not at all
268
01:10:48,070 --> 01:10:50,070
furry. They said
269
01:10:50,070 --> 01:10:52,820
"Would you come to our convention?"
270
01:10:53,320 --> 01:10:54,470
And I said "Really?
271
01:10:54,470 --> 01:10:55,700
You want me to go as a guest?"
272
01:10:55,700 --> 01:10:57,970
They said "Yes, because
273
01:10:57,970 --> 01:10:59,970
we've never had a furry guest. We want
274
01:10:59,970 --> 01:11:02,270
you to be our furry guest."
275
01:11:02,620 --> 01:11:04,550
I said "Okay, sure!"
276
01:11:05,570 --> 01:11:06,920
Now, I'm in the business,
277
01:11:06,950 --> 01:11:09,470
I understand how these things work.
278
01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:10,820
You have:
279
01:11:10,820 --> 01:11:12,820
THE GUESTS.
280
01:11:12,820 --> 01:11:14,820
And then, you know,
281
01:11:14,820 --> 01:11:16,150
the guests.
282
01:11:16,150 --> 01:11:17,570
We call it the A-List
283
01:11:17,570 --> 01:11:18,900
and the B-List.
284
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,900
I knew that in anime fandom, I'm not a
285
01:11:20,900 --> 01:11:22,900
A-list guest because they had these
286
01:11:22,900 --> 01:11:24,900
luminary voice actors
287
01:11:24,900 --> 01:11:26,900
people who are "Oh, we do the
288
01:11:26,900 --> 01:11:28,770
you know, what's this...
289
01:11:28,770 --> 01:11:31,670
Naturo and all, we do the voices for that".
290
01:11:31,670 --> 01:11:33,670
And then we have this fat old yank
291
01:11:33,670 --> 01:11:35,670
who drinks.
292
01:11:35,670 --> 01:11:38,300
[Fox plays 'Star Sprangled Banner']
293
01:11:43,350 --> 01:11:44,520
Fox: Works every time.
294
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:46,370
Shut up you...
295
01:11:46,370 --> 01:11:49,420
It's like a reflex, you can't stop.
296
01:11:50,270 --> 01:11:51,200
So,
297
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:53,200
I went to their web page
298
01:11:53,200 --> 01:11:55,200
and this was really
299
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:57,200
driven home, because when you
300
01:11:57,200 --> 01:11:59,800
went to the web page on the front page it said:
301
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:01,800
"Amazing Voice Actor #1
302
01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:03,800
and Amazing Voice Actor #2
303
01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:06,920
are our guests", that's all it said.
304
01:12:06,920 --> 01:12:08,920
If you went to the guest page it was
305
01:12:08,920 --> 01:12:10,920
"Voice Actor #1, amazing
306
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:12,920
Voice Actor #2",
307
01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:14,920
and if you scrolled down to the bottom
308
01:12:15,450 --> 01:12:18,020
"Oh, and some drunken old yank who drinks."
309
01:12:19,050 --> 01:12:20,370
Under the fold.
310
01:12:20,370 --> 01:12:22,370
But that's alright,
311
01:12:22,370 --> 01:12:24,370
I understand.
312
01:12:25,020 --> 01:12:26,550
You have to fight it...
313
01:12:26,550 --> 01:12:29,320
[Fox plays 'Star Sprangled Banner' again]
314
01:12:33,320 --> 01:12:36,720
They told me it's in Sunderland, England.
315
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,720
And I looked up Sunderland. it's
316
01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:40,720
on the East coast of England
317
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:42,720
and it's all the way up North, it's almost
318
01:12:42,720 --> 01:12:44,720
Scotland. As a matter of fact it would have been Scotland
319
01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:46,720
but there's some history going on there.
320
01:12:46,720 --> 01:12:48,550
and it's on the beach. I said:
321
01:12:48,550 --> 01:12:50,550
"Oh boy, I get to go to a con
322
01:12:50,550 --> 01:12:52,950
on the beach in June!"
323
01:12:52,950 --> 01:12:54,950
I packed my sun tan oil,
324
01:12:54,950 --> 01:12:56,950
and my coconut oil and my
325
01:12:56,950 --> 01:12:58,950
beach umbrella and my flip
326
01:12:58,950 --> 01:13:00,950
flops and my speedos and I was all
327
01:13:00,950 --> 01:13:02,950
ready. And
328
01:13:02,950 --> 01:13:04,950
I arrived, and I was picked
329
01:13:04,950 --> 01:13:06,950
up
330
01:13:06,950 --> 01:13:08,950
by one of their senior staff members.
331
01:13:10,050 --> 01:13:12,150
And I immediately
332
01:13:12,150 --> 01:13:14,150
felt sympathy for the
333
01:13:14,150 --> 01:13:16,150
boy, because I
334
01:13:16,150 --> 01:13:18,150
saw the look in his eye.
335
01:13:19,300 --> 01:13:20,200
This one.
336
01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:23,920
He got up from the chair and looked like this.
337
01:13:25,250 --> 01:13:27,300
Like the walking dead.
338
01:13:27,820 --> 01:13:30,150
And he took my bags
339
01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:34,020
and as we were walking away he said a strange thing.
340
01:13:34,020 --> 01:13:36,020
He said:
341
01:13:36,020 --> 01:13:37,520
"You're in luck!
342
01:13:37,520 --> 01:13:39,350
One of the guests has cancelled,
343
01:13:39,350 --> 01:13:42,350
you're not going to have to sleep with the staff."
344
01:13:48,150 --> 01:13:50,250
I said "Excuse me?"
345
01:13:50,250 --> 01:13:52,250
And he got the look on his face
346
01:13:52,250 --> 01:13:54,250
you've probably seen the look.
347
01:13:54,250 --> 01:13:57,300
it said "Oh my god, did I say that out loud?"
348
01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:00,520
And he said "*incomprehensible mumbling*"
349
01:14:00,520 --> 01:14:03,650
"We'll take you to the hotel now, that's what we'll do."
350
01:14:03,870 --> 01:14:05,800
Okay....
351
01:14:06,850 --> 01:14:08,970
So he drove me to the hotel.
352
01:14:08,970 --> 01:14:11,070
And he gave me a lovely
353
01:14:11,070 --> 01:14:13,070
nice hotel room which apparently was
354
01:14:13,070 --> 01:14:16,050
destined for one of the great guests
355
01:14:16,050 --> 01:14:18,050
but since he cancelled they just
356
01:14:18,050 --> 01:14:19,720
had me.
357
01:14:19,720 --> 01:14:20,970
So I got the room.
358
01:14:20,970 --> 01:14:22,970
He left and I immediately unpacked
359
01:14:22,970 --> 01:14:24,970
my beach towel and my
360
01:14:24,970 --> 01:14:26,970
umbrella and flip flops and speedos,
361
01:14:26,970 --> 01:14:28,970
and I ran outside and went on
362
01:14:28,970 --> 01:14:30,970
to the beach and said:
363
01:14:32,470 --> 01:14:33,700
"Wow."
364
01:14:34,700 --> 01:14:39,300
"Beaches in England are nothing like California."
365
01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:43,150
We don't have as many ice bergs.
366
01:14:44,500 --> 01:14:46,370
And I've never seen a Viking longboat
367
01:14:46,370 --> 01:14:48,370
in California.
368
01:14:49,850 --> 01:14:53,570
So I went back inside before I got frostbite
369
01:14:54,670 --> 01:14:56,820
And I, you know,
370
01:14:57,370 --> 01:14:58,970
I left the speedo on because I kinda like that
371
01:14:58,970 --> 01:15:00,970
but I put my regular clothes on.
372
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:03,820
And I went to the con site.
373
01:15:03,820 --> 01:15:05,820
As Euroforence used to do, you had
374
01:15:05,820 --> 01:15:07,820
the hotel here, the con site, you had to
375
01:15:07,820 --> 01:15:09,820
go a bit of a distance.
376
01:15:09,820 --> 01:15:11,370
So I walked to the con site
377
01:15:11,370 --> 01:15:13,370
and I'm looking around and I found my
378
01:15:13,370 --> 01:15:15,220
friend who picked me up, and said,
379
01:15:15,220 --> 01:15:18,120
"Okay, what do you need me to do?"
380
01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,920
And he looked at me and said:
381
01:15:19,920 --> 01:15:21,920
"Everything."
382
01:15:22,500 --> 01:15:23,750
Uhm...
383
01:15:23,750 --> 01:15:26,750
I... I don't follow, what do you mean?
384
01:15:27,650 --> 01:15:30,250
"We had one guest here for
385
01:15:30,250 --> 01:15:32,920
Friday / Saturday, (it was Friday),
386
01:15:32,920 --> 01:15:35,220
and we had the second guest coming tomorrow,
387
01:15:35,220 --> 01:15:37,220
Saturday and Sunday.
388
01:15:37,220 --> 01:15:39,220
With the other guest cancelled,
389
01:15:39,220 --> 01:15:41,220
You're all we have!"
390
01:15:41,700 --> 01:15:43,820
And I said "Oh!
391
01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:45,800
How sweet that I'm here to help
392
01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:47,800
you in a moment of desperation.
393
01:15:48,670 --> 01:15:51,320
What do you need me to do?" He said:
394
01:15:51,750 --> 01:15:53,870
"Whatever you do!"
395
01:15:55,450 --> 01:15:56,500
I said:
396
01:15:56,500 --> 01:15:58,500
"I got you covered."
397
01:16:00,520 --> 01:16:03,170
I said: "Make with the glass."
398
01:16:03,370 --> 01:16:04,450
And he did.
399
01:16:04,450 --> 01:16:07,200
They put me on a big stage like this,
400
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:09,850
and they had this huge room this size
401
01:16:09,850 --> 01:16:11,850
the eight furries at the convention were
402
01:16:11,850 --> 01:16:13,850
sitting in the front row
403
01:16:14,270 --> 01:16:16,020
So I just started
404
01:16:16,020 --> 01:16:17,700
doing what I do:
405
01:16:17,700 --> 01:16:19,120
I started putting this in my face
406
01:16:19,120 --> 01:16:21,120
and had noise come out.
407
01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:24,600
Within an hour the room was
408
01:16:24,600 --> 01:16:27,020
full, I think I did soemthing right.
409
01:16:28,520 --> 01:16:29,900
I had a good time.
410
01:16:29,900 --> 01:16:31,900
And the con folks seemed to like me.
411
01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:34,970
Next day, Saturday,
412
01:16:34,970 --> 01:16:36,970
dawn bright and clear,
413
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:40,570
I got up and went to the con site
414
01:16:40,570 --> 01:16:42,450
and the exact same staff member
415
01:16:42,450 --> 01:16:45,620
met me with a look on his face like this:
416
01:16:47,170 --> 01:16:50,320
and I said, "Uh oh..."
417
01:16:50,320 --> 01:16:51,820
"What happened?"
418
01:16:51,820 --> 01:16:53,820
He said:
419
01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:56,350
"The other guest cancelled."
420
01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:01,220
"You're it!"
421
01:17:01,950 --> 01:17:04,350
I said: "So I'm
422
01:17:04,350 --> 01:17:06,350
The Guest?"
423
01:17:06,350 --> 01:17:08,350
He said: "Yeah!"
424
01:17:08,350 --> 01:17:09,950
I said:
425
01:17:09,950 --> 01:17:11,950
"You know what to do boy!"
426
01:17:13,450 --> 01:17:15,600
"I got it covered!"
427
01:17:17,170 --> 01:17:19,650
I think I must have done something right
428
01:17:20,770 --> 01:17:22,700
Because when I went home
429
01:17:22,700 --> 01:17:24,250
on Monday,
430
01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:25,670
I felt very good.
431
01:17:25,670 --> 01:17:27,270
And on Wednesday I had an invitation to
432
01:17:27,270 --> 01:17:29,270
come back next year and this time, I was on
433
01:17:29,270 --> 01:17:31,270
the front page!
434
01:17:42,170 --> 01:17:44,500
Welcome to the first
435
01:17:44,500 --> 01:17:45,770
dance ever called
436
01:17:45,770 --> 01:17:48,000
"Paws on Fire" on Eurofurence!
437
01:23:06,120 --> 01:23:10,400
[people sing 'American Pie']
438
01:23:18,400 --> 01:23:20,670
It's like having Pepper Coyote with his hat!
439
01:23:26,500 --> 01:23:28,950
Them and their scooters.
440
01:23:29,370 --> 01:23:31,370
Okay, here it comes:
441
01:23:31,850 --> 01:23:34,320
[people sing the 'Imperial March']