Good morning, Sheppy!
We're working hard!
Lots of conbooks!
He has to document the sweatshop.
(Reg-bitch)
Good day to you!
Do you need your fursuit badge?
Can I have your registration?
Hallo.
Willkommen auf Eurofurence. Welcome to Eurofurence.
Du hast schon verkackt! You screwed up!
Mach Du mal! You do it!
Willkommen auf Eurofurence. Welcome to Eurofurence.
[laughs]
Er kann's genauso wenig. He screws up too.
Halt die Klappe und tu als ob Du arbeitest. Shut up and pretend you're working!
Computer said: "Nooooo."
[sighs]
Really?
Do I look fluffy right now? No.
You're doing it all wrong!
This is what I'm supposed to look like.
Do I look fluffy right now?
Nope!
Does he look...?
I'm not feeling fluffy at all.
He's still filming.
He's wasting tape!
Look, that's fluffy!
[crashing bottle]
No!
Con video is not quite finished,
because there's one more shot we need!
Ewwwww!
BEEP!
Naarrarrarrahhhh!
Nosebeep!
Camera nom!
Kitties are so violent!
What else is there?
Traffic cone. We don't have a traffic cone.
I like that there are real candles on the tables.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
welcome to Eurofurence!
Our special guest of honor this year
is Jesus H. fucking Christ.
I mean H. Christ.
We can edit the fucking part out.
(no, the editor.)
What do you want from me?
I have nothing to offer!
Oh, I'm a fox,
technically I do have something to offer.
But that's beside the point!
Green, green, green,
this is the theme!
Yadda, yadda, yadda,
welcome to Eurofurence 21!
Have a good time!
Oh my god!
They all recorded!
Oh my god, ow!
That fucking hurt!
What did you do?
We settled he chair at the same time
both putting our fingers and we went
"Ow!" at the same time!
Exactly the same time!
In synch!
Again!
They both got the same number of
fingers in the same place!
Oh my god!
They must be twins!
Now you are recording!
Blyad'! Fuck!
As you can see we now have the
full convention center here,
so I can't believe we got away
with the number of seats we had last year.
We had, to my information,
800 seats last year,
and we have 1800 seats
in this room this year, and it's
still full to the last row!
It's amazing!
You guys are amazing!
Ladies and Gentlemen, these are our guests of honor:
and...
I'd like to present to you...
*CLICK*
That was the plug!
Rhubarb the bear and Cosmik!
Please, give a big round
of applause!
Oh!
Am I on?
Alright!
Okay! Hello,
Eurofurence!
Guten Abend Eurofurence! Good evening Eurofurence!
I'm Rhubarb and this is Cosmik!
Er ist Rhubarb the Bear und ich bin Cosmik! He's Rhubarb the bear and I'm Cosmik!
This evening Cosmik will be serving
as my interpreter!
Schade, mein Deutsch ist sehr schlecht Bummer, my German is rather bad
also erfinde ich was Rhubarb sagt. so I'll make up what Rhubarb says.
Really?
Okay, we are
thrilled beyond belief to finally
be for the first time in our lives in Berlin.
Auch kann Rhubarb nicht verstehen was ich sage. Rhubarb can't understand what I'm saying.
So you may be wondering
who we even are,
because there are probably a lot of
people here who have never heard
of Rhubarb and Cosmik
and wonder how
we became
not only
the musical people here
but the guests of honor
at Eurofurence
when we're, like somewhere from
America, like how did that
even happen?
Wir lieben Bier. We love beer.
Okay, I can tell how this is gonna go.
Und Strudel! And Strudel!
Many of you know
Fox Amoore.
Kennen Sie Fox Amoore? Do you know Fox Amoore?
Ja? Yes?
The story is that Fox
is very well connected in the music industry.
And sometimes there are kind of
funny things that happen in the music
industry. Does anyone
here remember the Band Milli Vanilli?
Kennen Sie auch Milli Vanilli? Do you know Milli Vanilli?
A couple of guys who had
really neat hair and they could dance
and they'd lipsynch the songs
that studio musicians
were creating for them. They didn't do the
music. Fox Amoore
managed to convince Cheetah
that we are the secret
guys behind One Direction!
Fox Amoore war sehr betrunken. Fox Amoore was very drunk.
*sings a song by Fun*
Rhubarb....
Rhubarb!
Here's the sing-along-part!
[singing intensifies]
Rhubarb!
What?
That's not One Direction!
It's not?
Who is it?
That's an American Band called "Fun".
Oh.... That's an American Band called "Fun".
Oh....
With a small lowercase f.
And a period.
Really?
Oh, okay.
Oh. Okay.
We're the real guys behind "fun."!
First up I'd like to call up the
directors of this convention
and see what they have to say and what kind of news
they have. The first one is Nightfox.
Hello everybody,
My name is Nightfox, I'm responsible
for all hotel relations, so if you have any
issues with the hotel or suggestions
or good things to say just approach
me or Con-Ops, they know how to find me
Next up is Loewi!
Hello everybody, my name is Loewi,
I'm responsible for financial
things and the registration
on site. By
one hour ago we had
2183
attending people.
Which is a raise again
It's how many more than last year?
Nearly 200.
200 people more than last year,
even tho we hit the cap of the hotel
even faster so I'm amazed
where people are staying in Berlin.
Probably in every hole, there's a furry now.
You open the sewer, there's a furry.
In the cupboard there's a furry.
Next up we have Dhary
from Security.
I'll make it quick: Elevators.
We're trying our best to keep the
elevators running and I'm sure the technician
is not yet... well...
he threatened committing suicide
but never mind that....
Please push the up button
when you want to go up. And push the
down button when you want to go down.
Should be easy!
And don't jump in the elevators.
This is called "Damage of hotel property".
And ´then I come and wave at you.
Next on my list is
Alpha Ki, who's running the Dealers Den.
We have a lot of tables for a lot of
artists and dealers who are
burning for meeting you, sitting there
and drawing for you, selling something
you shouldn't buy in the Dealers den...
What would that be?
Maybe in the sauna, I'm not sure.
Okay, we have a date later...
Sweetie, meet me at ten.
Okay!
Any last words? Going once...
going twice...
That leaves me to say one thing:
and that is:
I hereby declare the con open!
We weren't doing anything!
We only have a few concert tickets left.
Only 30 left. We're running out fast.
I can't hear you!
The signal is really bad!
Nee, ich bin noch viel zu nüchtern No, I'm way too sober to
um da jetzt was blödes reinzulabern. say something silly now.
Der hat jetzt 'nen Fettfleck It's got a fat stain now.
Von Deiner fettigen Nase! From your greasy nose!
You didn't see anything!
Nono, nothing to see here!
These are not the droids you're looking for!
This is one of the cons that I do work for.
And I still hate life.
But it's not MFF!
Soll ich Euch ein bisschen Zubehör bringen? Should I bring some supplies?
No, no, I'm innocent!
Oh no no no....
Bibi, no, no....
Oooooooh shit!
No no no! Ow!
Hello! I'm just watching this...
I'm innocent of course, as well...
like he is!
I blew a fish!
I blew a fish.
X-rated.
Don't broadcast this!
Don't caption this with my name!
I'm not him!
They call me Pasta!
They call you Siefer!
Siefer! Yes, Siefer!
I'm from Britain!
Enjoy EF guys!
Drink responsibly!
Please! For me!
You might end up like this!
Uh oh,,,
Hallo BBF, hallo Eurofurence!
Wir sind wieder kurz zu Besuch! We're just visiting!
Guck! Look!
Grüß Dich! Hi there!
Mit Euch rechnet man doch schonmal. We expected you.
Dankeschön! Thank you!
Komm, mach drum! Put it on!
[singing a questionable song from Germany's Idol]
Hiiiii!
Alright! Wow!
I think this has to be
the biggest crowd that Rhubarb and
Cosmik have ever performed
For! This crowd is so big
I can hear them out there!
Yeah!
Usually we're not sure if it's people in the
house or just people passing by!
Right.
Now we're a little bit concerned
at first because
right out here in front,
they had
reserved seats
for Rhubarb and Cosmik!
This was a bit of a worry!
But they were really good seats so we
thought we would enjoy the show!
Who did we give them to?
We have them to Aran and Goldie.
And they totally deserved it
since they've been our handlers all weekend, I thought they
deserved to sit for a while.
Yes, thank you so much!
We took requests
for the first half of
2015, and we said
"What songs don't you
wanna hear?" and we
buildt a show out of that!
And it's so epic
I think we'll go ahead
and make it a whole new
show beginning out of it right now.
Pretend like it's "Whoo whoo laser lights
and fog", and we're like
silhouettes.
We love that crap!
Alright, here we go.
Speaker: "Ladies and Gentlemen,
of all ages
and species
you talked,
we listened.
You told us the worst
songs of all times.
The songs you couldn't stand!
The songs that drove you insane!
We wrote them down!
And we are ready to perform them!
Right now!
Please welcome:
Rhubarb and Cosmik!
in:
The Songs You Hate!"
Hello Berlin!
It's so great to see you
for the very first time today!
And we're gonna start
this part of the show with a really
crappy song that you're gonna hate!
Are you ready?
Have we never settled this issue yet?
Why did you stop?
Because I'm over here
just putting my heart
and soul into a crappy
song by Rebecca Black:
Friday! Gotta get down on Friday!
No it's Thursday... that's tomorrow...
We're doing"Baby" by Justin Bieber, right?
We were never doing "Baby" by Justin Bieber.
We were just playing it!
That's not "Baby"?
Well....
He's got a point, folks...
I was playing "Friday".
he was playing "Baby", and
it didn't matter,
and you know why?
They're the same song!
You think that's why people hate the songs?
I don't think they hate it because of that.
There's a whole bunch of songs that peoole
like, that sound like that.
That's true.
For example:
The list goes on and on.
Another four-chord-song:
Thank you!
This is adorable, there's a little
fruitfly on the glass.
I'm not going to kill him, he's a kindred spirit.
However, this is my wine.
I'm going to offer apologies in advance,
I'm unfortunately sober at the moment.
I know!
When I was at the bar,
I tried to get some wine,
and the lady looked at me
and she said,
she said....
Nightfox isn't here to pay for it!
What's this doing here?
Is it an editorial comment of something?
Well, if the show goes to shit...
Oh!
He found the wine!
Excuse me... come on, come on....
okay, I'll just...
let you recover right there...
I know exactly how you feel.
You and me will be in the same ...
here you go, okay.
I'm a frequent flyer. I know
all about flying karma, believe me.
Since I fly very often,
I get a little card.
Now, the airlines have their frequent
flyer clubs.
There's the silver level,
the gold level,
the platinum level,
and then my level:
the amazing superglossy silver gold platinum suck my dick level!
Abbreviated: SMD!
So I have a card that says:
SMD o it.
So all I have to do is flash that
at the United executive and they'll
"Uuuuuhhh" and they will get
under the table and they'll take care of
anything I need.
Now, also as a frequent flyer,
I know
that there's certain things you'll want to avoid.
And this I will teach to all of you
because I think it's the same around the world!
Ever been in a situation when they said "Oh...
this flight is oversold"?
We're looking for volunteers to give up a seat!
We'll give you a voucher for a
free ticket!
That sounds good, doesn't it?
Free ticket? Yes! I will give up my
seat to this poor little old lady here
and put me on the next flight
no, that's fine, give me a voucher for a free ticket
That's great, I go home
and I looked at my voucher and it said:
"free ticket"!
Some restrictions apply.
But they always say that, right?
So I
I plan out my conventions
a year in advance. I already
know which flights I'm gonna take for EF 22.
Which is the same weekend I hope because
that would really ruin it... but
I called up the airline and said
I want to use my free ticket!
I want to go to San Jose!
"Oh no, you cannot!"
I said: "Why I cannot?"
She said: "It's blacked out."
I said "Well, turn the lights on."
They said "No, you cannot"...
Oh, heh....
he's got a brother.
He's still here, too!
We have a whole family here.
Okay, well if not San Jose,
how about Seattle?
Nope!
All of the 'free ticker' seats
are gone on that aircraft.
I said, "Can you bolt some more in?"
and she said "No?"
I tried...
everything. Okay, if not San
Jose or Chicago,
Atlanta?
Tennessee, Nashville?
Germany? No?
I got all the way around to the
one year expiration date, none of the flights
I wanted to take were going to work!
I got very angry.
And I said to the lady:
Where can I use this voucher?
She said: "Sir I dont understand!"
I said "You understadn perfectly. You
pick a flight for me and tell me
where I can go!"
And she paused and I heard her
terminal clicking and she said "Well,
you could go to Greensborough, South Carolina".
I said: "DO IT!"
"Fly me down to Queensborough, South Carolina and put me on
the very next flight back!".
There and back again!
She said: "But why?"
And I said "Coz I'm gonna MAKE YOU DO IT!"
I've got a free ticket and I'm gonna take it!
And I did. I flew down there
and they cancelled the flight back.
Pizza delivery for Mr. Conway!
What? Excellent timing, please come in!
O, thank you so much!
What do I have here?
Jungle candy pizza!
It's got bugs,
and lizards and spiders
and all sorts of
horrible things on it!
Thank you very much!
Fox, do you want some
of the....
Alright, I'll have it myself.
Look, a candy tarantula!
Isn't that adorable?
Where's those fruitflies?
Eeek, ohmygod ohmygod
It's coming after us!!!
Dumb fuckers!
Thank you very much, you wanna try a worm?
How about a centipede?
There you go!
Take a lizard!
Here!
Have a....
I don't know what it is...
This is not horrible.
Sehr gut, ja! Very good, yes!
I am German convention
Alkohol, ja, sehr gut! alcohol, yeah, very good!
Call BBF!
I saw him with the camera and I'm like
the light can't possibly go on now!
I'm absolutely drinking
hotel beer! You cannot see
the color of it, it's fantastic!
Also he cannot tell a lie.
Hi everyone in BBF Land!
I feel like I knew this!
every single video... this is great!
Is it noseboop time?
It's noseboop time. Beep!
Here we go.
So... we have
a critical mass.... we don't
have a critical mass of Asians anymore!
Let's at least get in for the
video!
Konichiwa!
Where's my calculator?
Look at the alcohol.
Hotel beer! Hotel beer!
Totally hotel beer!
All hotel!
You see this...
and you say this person must have
a problem!
This is not my luggage!
It's his luggage!
Hi!
My name is Kalendil,
and I have a porter problem.
I have to ask!
what is....
"Das Dusch"?
Dusch must mean shower in German or Dutch.
This is obviously lube!
Specific lotions to Dusch with you!
Stupid American!
I got a British flag,
I'm wearing a potential rapists
jersey....
God shave the queen!
Shhhh, I'm invisible!
You can remove me in post processing!
Remove me on the green screen!
Shush!
I've been transplanted.
My lifeform has collapsed inside of a fursuit.
Well, Shanie looks brilliant in that jacket!
I left my fags in there.
Hee!
Heeheehee!
Aaaah!
Hello?
Is it it Shanie you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes!
It's a cat trying to steal from a wolf.
Do you realize,
It's not gonna happen.