Noooo!
Don't get run over,
you'll be road kill otherwise.
Hey BBF, I'll give you a hug,
I'm getting you a POV hug!
[mumbling]
Say my name!
I have a prehensile moustache.
It comes from years of brewing your own
crack whore beer.
This is how you
This is the good stuff right here.
This is what people are killing themselves over.
Oh yeah.
Say my name, yeah.
My thing, right there.
So confident I didn't even test it
before I got here.
This is the sound they're gonna hear
as they're going through the con:
[fart noises]
[keyboard music]
My version of Phantom of the Opera
You're doing what you've got.
Eventually...
it takes him a while but eventually he'll go.
Or at least put the camera down.
Why do you do this to me?
Because I can.
You know, that's a surprisingly good answer.
He wants precious!
Your precious is over there.
Hi people of the Youtube world
or whatever this goes on,
welcome to MCFC 2017
We're gonna have lots and lots of fun
so come and party with us
as much as possible, and
try to keep up!
Welcome to MCFC 2017!
I'm one of your hosts, Pandez Panda.
Today we'll take you on an epic journey
of bringing luggage in from vehicles, setting
up beer.
Maybe drinking some of it.
I think there'll be a lot of beer drinking this weekend.
What do you think?
The camera agrees.
Magic is quiet.
Thursday,
gotta love Thursday.
Loading...
Thursday...
I see you!
We have Sonic,
We have him strapped to the chair,
so this is Bondage-Sonic right now.
He has been donated by me
to the charity auction
He'll go fast!
Sonic is now on
video.
We need to find little handcuffs.
And strap them to his feet.
Come on, it's a furry con!
I'm very damp!
Lobby level:
Women's lingerie, Bad Dragon.
*sighs*
My car broke down 70 miles from here.
I just got a rental car.
I'm expecting big costs.
I'm trying to ignore him.
But I can't ignore him.
The camera is just too large,
and the light is too bright.
It's only Thursday, I'm not ready for this!
Look at who's skipping FWA!
I did skip FWA.
You skipped 'Fwwaaaah'!
I did skip Fwah!
This con's better because
Oddy's here and all of my friends
are here.
And we do have a working highway.
Yes, we have a working highway that hasn't collapsed.
Good stuff!
Waaaaahahhahaha
It's too early for this!
Oh, how do you like it, huh?
Huh? Huh?
Oooooh, oooh!
Show me your flash!
Oooh, yeah, look at that!
And then they had sex.
Oh. Well, the narrator said so.
That's bright!
It's like looking into the sun, except the sun steals your soul.
We're in Novi, Michigan and traffic from
Atlanta has backed up all the way this far
right now.
Traffic has totally backed up all the way
from Atlanta.
I'm so confused!
We're trying to check in
to registration.
There's some confusion in regards to our reg status.
I got my badge,
it's "Okee dokee artichokemedaddy"
So here we go!
[weird whining]
I don't know what the hell I'm doing!
He's still on me!
Do you know the muffin man?
Yes, I do!
Okay then!
Hello! We're all friends here!
Oh hey, how are you doing?
With that bright light, directly in my face!
I may have had something to drink.
Purr, I'm all purr!
Purrr, pu-purrr!
I'm the cat with....
words!
Say my name!
I know!
Oh my gosh!
Oh yeah!
Here's Johnny!
Get it out!
I'm being squished!
I'm being squishicated!
I'm pushing my own self back.
You... we're together again.
Together, in this corner.
Friends...
We can love each other!
We don't have to tell anyone about this.
Okay?
Those here, those are
swimsuit parts.
I'm not swimming.
But they're still parts, okay?
It's like trying on clothing, like
a doll, but don't
touch it there.
Wait...
They're looking at us from outside!
The ducks are watching us.
The ducks! Aaaah!
Whyyyy?
Aaaaaahhh!
Mow! Mow!
Soon I'll be cat!
Oh my god, I've been tagged,
I've been triple-tagged!
Yes!
I dunno what it is!
Oh my gosh!
Do I have to explain this to my family?
I have to explain this to my priest!
Here's Dixie, oh my god!
Oh, he's taking it off, hmm!
Oooh, mmmm!
The wolves will be howling tonight!
I'm out of fursuit!
I'm not on the clock,
what the fuck is this shit?
Hi, I'm Twitch!
There he is!
Hello, good Sir, how are you?
Y'all love me?
I love me!
That's cool!
You can say no but I don't give a fuck!
BBF is a stinky man with smelly face!
Smellyface-Stinkman!
And if you're watching this video,
BBF has me trapped in his basement
and he's not letting me out. He's demanding
a million dollars.
But nobody wants to pay that for me so please
please save me
from BBF!
You have to understand that
between lunch and dinner there are about
50 different super-squishy
lasagna-textured
Asian-tasting foods that you could've
tried and I'd like to
think that I'm Asian but you really could
just have eaten like a dog
just alive.
I mean, you're a cat, I wouldn't be surprised.
I don't know if there's...
what the shit?
I was not....
This was not a set-up, I swear!
You were talking Asian stuff in the camera!
I wasn't even saying things like "Ching Chang Chong!"
You're disrespecting your people!
I disrespect my famiry,
I dishonor my famiry!
I'm sorry!
Buy one, get one free! Love, Peace!
My Nose!
OMG No, my nose!
My nose!
My nose! MINE!
My nose! MINE!My nose!
My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!
My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!My nose!
My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!
My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!My nose!
My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!My nose! MINE!
No no no no no no no no.....!
No!
My nose!
My nose! DAMMIT!
My nose! DAMMIT!My nose!
MINE!
MINE! MINE!
MINE! MINE! MINE!
MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
I'm keeping it!
Why do you do this to me?
What did I do to deserve this!
You don't need that nose!
WHAT?
Your nose smells good!
What am I gonna boop people with?
My nose!
Noooo!
Yes!
Nooooohh!
You cannot have my nose, or I'll do this:
Boop!
My nose!
No, my nose!
My nose!
My nose! My nose!
My nose! My nose! My nose!
My nose! My nose! My nose! MINE!
Why aren't you helping me?
He's a camera guy.
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Where's your proof of purchase?
It's my nose
and forever will be!
I'll bite you!
I found it on eBay!
What are you doing?
My nose!
Welcome to MCFC!
Hope you have a good time, eh!
Ehehehehe!
Son of a bitch!
They're everywhere!
Don't mind him, he's just a cat.
Dog? Dog.
Cat.
It's your own fault!
I'm afraid so.
No!
It's a cat thing!
N.. no! No!
NO!
Naaahhhh!
My nose!
My nose! No.
My nose! No. Yes!
My nose! No. Yes! No.
My nose! No. Yes! No. Yes.
My nose! No. Yes! No. Yes. No.
What'cha gonna do?
It's!
It's! Not!
It's! Not! Wor
It's! Not! Working!
It's! Not! Working! Son of a
It's! Not! Working! Son of a bitch!
It's! Not! Working! Son of a bitch! Damn it!
It's! Not! Working! Son of a bitch! Damn it! Yes!
Hahahah!
I plead the fifth!
I didn't do it!
You didn't see nothing!
I can neither confirm nor deny my existance
at this convention!
I plead the sixth!
The sixth is "I'm guilty
and I don't give a fuck!"
Yes, peace, Canada!
If in America,
it's "pleading the fifth",
in Canada, it's
"Pleading the 6.5"
because we have to convert from imperial
to metric.
I can't help but deny that,
fuck America!
Im Asian, man, don't
reject my numbers!
And now for the Vindaloo update:
Stardate: Whatever the fuck it is.
Shut up! Shut up!
Here we are, MCFC 2017.
Aaah,
There's much alcohol,
What the fuck is that sound?
STop that! I'm trying to do an update!
I feel like my eye is falling off!
And now for a Vindaloo update!
Owww, my eye!
Stick my eye back on!
Motor City, der Furconnen
here, in
in Detroitschland,
Liek Deutschland, but it's Detroitland!
Detroitschland, yes!
Wir sind hier in Detroitschland We are here in Detroitschland
mit dem Drachen, with the dragon
mit dem Dummkopf, with the stupid,
It's Scheisse!
Nein. Scheissedrache. Ja.
Ich bin Nudeldrache! I am Noodledragon!
Ja! Nudel! Yes! Noodle!
Nudeldrache!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
furries of all kinds,
welcome to MCFC 2017.
[applause]
I'm Keet Collie,
and I got wrangled into being your con chairman!
We have Donryu
as GoH for this year along
with Alkali
HE'S NOT HERE.
Come on, stand up!
Nahnanananah, we don't start to begin.
Drink.
Our fine gentlemen here,
and someone who's been keeping me same most of this year,
Pandez!
My head of operations, Ed!
I've known him far longer than I should: Travis,
head of programming!
And this Mark here,
he's our legal council
and all around good guy helping us
with pretty much anything,
and cookies!
our charity liasion you'll be hearing from
in a little bit,
he'll be feeding you guys.
[audience yells]
in the back, he'll be getting you drunk.
[audience yells]
Driiink!
[audience chants: "Drink!"]
No,
He will not appreciate enough,
I have a different bottle for him.
The gentleman in the center back here is
Kyle, he put notes on anything we've been doing this year.
And of course, we also have
couple of special guests this year,
We have Dr. Samuel Conway,
Uncle Kage!
Ad our musical guests this year,
Fox and Pepper Coyote!
I was gonna steal the mike but I don't need it.
Last night you guys raised
601,50$ so...
whoever's throwing change in there,
cut it out!
But that's not a record.
I asked Keet, you guys can do more than that!
And this is Motor City!
We have an incredible
charity!
And I wasn't here
So a friend of mine sent me a list of rules
last night
and if we round that up to
$1000 I'll keep those rules
alive all day drinking to them
as I walk around the convention.
So I'm gonna throw this out and if it
back with $400 or more,
I might die!
Ops wants to talk:
I'll say the same thing I say every year:
If you have an issue that you need adressed,
please come see us instead of having
to track down the right staff member, we'll do that
for you.
If you lose something,
we maybe have it. Please come visit
us at the board room in the front
of the lobby.
Come on!
Alkali, stall for us!
Hey charity!
This is for you!
That is $612 more!
Somebody just sent me the list of rules
She's getting them for me, they are
on one of my chats,
Everytime I see a number
I have to drink!
When I change rooms
I have to drink? What?
Everytime I see a basketball I have to drink?
This is finally getting awkward!
Everytime you kale!
Wait, what?
Noone told me that!
Everytime I swear I have to drink?
Shit!
If Bill Mallory shows up I'll drink.
Another person wants to say hello for some reason:
Hi!
Say my name!
Aaaahhh....
Piesenberg!
Pie-senberg!
Have a seat.
I brought you a pie.
Donryu, apparently I need to
take this seat there..
This is sexual tension, let's do this!
Are you ready?
He brought silverware!
He's Canadian, what do you want!
Where's the charity, I have something for you.
You can sell that, that'll get
you about $20.000 on the street
This is not the pieing I'm used to,
what's going on?
The rest of the convention: We will
watch Dez eat pie!
Do not applaud for awesome ideas!
Wait a minute!
Maybe someone would like to
donate something to the charity
to feed this to him
all at once!
How much?
50?
I got a 100 but...
100?
How about 200?
Look at this:
This is a chocolate pie!
He will be knit faced!
Sexual tension! Drink!
Sexual tension!
Rubbing! Drink!
Here we go!
The things I do for you people!
Dez, open your mouth,
you can take it all in!
Sexual tension!
Aha, this one works!
That was not the sort of facial I was expecting!
Hold on, hold on...
Bullshit!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
MCFC 2017 is now
open! Go be free, have fun!
Smile for the camera!
*burp*
*brrraaaap!*
Yeah, that's better, use that one!
What?
This is what happens when you don't
take your puppies to obedience school.
They misbehave.
Is he neutered?
Hey! We're not talking about that!
Not yet.
WHAT?!
Let's have Uncle Kage and Tien Long
examine a German phone.
Okay, examine a German phone:
Okay: Here is ein deutsche
Handy! Ein deutsches Handy!
Ich bin Asian!
How do you say? - Asialbum?
Ich bin ein Asia...
Das ist ein Asiabukäse!
Es ein Telefon und
Hier wir haben eine
deutsche Handy mit eine
Wolfsschnozz
[muttering and asianing]
Eine Woof-Geschnozz...
[random Schnozz-chatter]
Unlocking de Passwort
De passwort...
unlocken das Telephone
Oh... ah!
Sucken!
Oh suck, oh...
Oh - KAMERA!
Kamera! Aaah, Kamera!
Hallo - say hallo. Hallo!
I don't know what they've been saying
but I'm assuming they're making fun of me.
It is ein verdammt grosse Jude
Wir haben here the Jew-Fro
I GOT A HAIRCUT!
Nana, wir haben hier die Jude-Fro!
DAS Jude-Fro!
"Poison" in German is "Gift".
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!
YOU CALL POISON GIFT
Hold on, we had better days,
I can understand that.
MCFC 2017...
Gute Scheisse.
You can move now!
It's video!
We're not liable!
Nicth mein Con,
nicht mein Problem!
Das ist ein Brat-Zi!
Ich bin ein Bratzi!
Das Fräulein!
*sings Fake-German*
Ich bin glücklich!
This is your pocket guide.
The pocket guide tells you when and where
all the panels are.
This is your guidebook.
The guidebook tells you
what all these panels are.
We know that you're new, there are some
panels in here with names that do not
help you with what they are because
these panels have existed for quite
some time. Uncle
Kage's story hour for example,
This guy here is gonna get drunk and fall down for an hour.
And he's going to tell you amazing
stories from a very well-lived life.
"Who's Lion Is It Anyway", if you've ever seen
"Who's line is it anyway", the show on
network TV, this is your
chance to participate in something like
that show. I don't know what
they call it, they used to call it
"Alkali and Kage get
drunk and get the police called on them".
Okay, they call it "Alkali and Kage Charity Hour".
They're gonna try and raise a little bit of money
and make an ass of ourselves on stage.
All those that have been to a furry
con before, you know there are empty seats
at the bar.
And those ladies look really
lonely over there, so you should go show
them some love.
We just had a guy who at the words "The Bar"
just walked out of the room!
He's one of us!
That's my boy!
By the way, you might notice
First off: You know
who everybody is up here?
The guy on the right with the extra liver on top of his head
that is Alkali.
The Wingaling over there
That is.... "Beakyface".
BEAKYFACE?
What? Oh, you want me to introduce you?
No? Oh, I'll call you...
Kyell Skyrender.
Wingy-Thingy!
Wingy-Thingy?
He's our wingaling up here.
That's a super-hero name:
"I AM WINGY-THINGY!
FIGHTER OF CRIME!!"
Someone's gonna make that happen.
I found it on a dropdown on FA.
The celestial dragon named "Storm", he is
the one respobsible for FWA getting rained on.
You're welcome!
I'm Uncle Kage, and
There is a programme of events
that can be found in this
piece of paper which is crap because
it's already wrong!
But they have an online version
which you can reach with that
amazing device at
your hip, that thing that you
can use to access the
sum total of human
knowledge from the beginning of
recorded history, which you use to
look at pictures of cats and argue
with people you don't know!
You will find the schedule on there as well.
Because the schedule will tell you
all sorts of fun things to do.
If you're here to meet
people, other furries, well,
you are literally surrounded by
furries, you cannot sling a dead cat without
hitting a furry this weekend.
Do not bring a dead cat in after this weekend.
Shush you!
Dammit!
For many of you, you might be
enjoying
what Motor City has to offer.
If you do, that's great! But
please....
know your limits.
Because:
take it from an old drunk:
There is an extremely
razorthin fine line
between being the life of the party and
being just a complete douchebag
and
we see it all the time: people
who have fallen across that line.
"One" is one shower alone!
The shower has to succeed
in making you cleaner than
you were when you stepped into
THE SHOWER.
And please put on a
different set of clothing
than you took off.
Why do we have to tell them this?
DEODORANT IS YOUR FRIEND.
But I wanna be a musky husky!
Axe is not a shower and
....
We're not talking about that!
Guys...
You've all
smelled it: the elevator!
We're going to have to add up deo
because people are wearing carpeting.
Please put...
YOU'RE WEARING A CARPET!
IT'S A FANCY CARPET, BUT IT'S A CARPET!
It's an oriental carpet.
Now the fun part of this con:
For how many folk here is this
the first time you've ever
been around fursuiters?
Shut up.
Okay. I'm saying
fursuiters in large groups for the first time?
Yay.
We need to give you
all some essential
step by step rules of
etiquette for
all these lovely fursuiters.
To make sure that you
are happy and they are happy.
As my colleagues are getting
up on stage, there are
many ways that
fursuiters interact with nonsuiters
at a convention.
The most
probably common way to interact
with one, especially if you are new to
a furry convention, is if you
are seeing a fursuiter
say just mingling about, standing
in the hallway, perhaps walking towards
you, something like that.
Say, that he's standing around and
you as a brand new con goer
are wanting to
interact, greet the fursuiter,
If you could, Uncle Kage, Alkali,
What would be a way that you would
NOT approach a fursuiter if
you see one?
Oh, how cute!
OH HOW CUTE!
At that point he'd call the police.
You just don't want that!
Fursuiters are extremely
limited in their sensory
capabilities, in particular,
their sense of sight.
If all of my fursuiters at the front could
stare forward right
now to the crowd and see
what is happening to you, can you see
anything that's happening on your peripheral
vision?
I don't think you'd want to,
I mean it might turn someone on
but I'm not sure.
But fursuiters essentially
have what we call tunnel vision
and they can not see you if
you are not directly in front of
them.
Hold your paws up when
you see my hands come into your
periphery, okay?
Here's my hands, you see them?
I'll bring them in slow.
Hold your paw up when you see his hands.
That's borderline assault.
You're not blind, are you?
Oh there we are!
See, this is the
range of vision
holy shit!
that a fursuiter has
when they are in costume and if
you approach them without warning
from the side or from behind
them,
OH HOW CUTE!
They are most likely not to
take that kindly, especially
if you do not know who they are
and vice versa.
Now, the children and tall guy test
below and above, go ahead.
Yes, and of course
the small child running up to you.
Can you see anything down below...
Child's getting older, tell me when you
see the child.
Wow. Guys.
Now, think about it.
If you see...
It's funny the first time
If you see a little kid
running up to a fursuiter,
it is considered good form to
say "Hey Jack, look down!"
Because they will not see the
small child.
And they will not be offended if
you say such, in fact,
as a fursuiter I'd say
it's even recommended by us
if you help us stay safe
and for all of those around us
as well.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
welcome to Uncle Kage's story hour.
You know, easy listening and drunken rambling.
Well, we can't reallly have that,
because I have a professional up here,
Mr. Fox Amoore, Ladies and Gentlemen.
I had that same discussion with my employer
about six weeks ago, I said, I do
not at all feel like a professional.
And he said, of course you are.
A professional fuck-up.
It's from Scotland.
That song even got popular here.
We can make it popular,
we'll give it furry lyrics.
We can try the lyrics I wrote for it
on an airplane!
On an airplane?
Remember when I was on the airplane and I came back
and gave you the lyrics that I wrote?
You wanna try it?
We'll do it!
In the event
of sudden loss
of cabin
pressure a panel
above your head
will open automatically
Grasp your
your mask firmly
and breathe naturally!
Anyway, hello! I'm Uncle Kage!
I don't know why but I am.
And I'm joined up here by the
imeasurably, the impeckable, the
insurmauntable Fox Amoore who
very very kindly agreed to
offer musical accompaniminimnimnim
Help.
that you need to admiire
the blitherings that I do.
You see, here's the fun part:
We don't actually rehearse this.
We wanted to.
So I rely on this gentleman's
professional and incredible sense of
musical timing.
So we're right now walking through
the hotel at
MCFC 2017.
Gonna try to find someone.
This is the second floor where only losers are.
Not bothering with that floor.
I don't know what you are exactly
but I want to hug you.
I've not been looking into the viewfinder,
so all of the video that I've taken
is blurry and out of focus and totally zoomed in
on something ridiculous.
As I was trying to be impromptu and
uhm...
Oh no, we have to go
to the eeler's den!
What the hell is an eeler's den?
Nobody knows!
I might have read that wrong!
Eeler's den!
It's for eels!
Oh boy!
Wolf on fox action here,
check it out!
Camera vs. camera!
No!
Oh wait, it's like a sling?
A nice... loop...
I'm not into suspension but I'll give it a shot!
This is something else!
You wanna go this way!
Into the grass, into the mud, into the pool!
Into the ground!
All the furries on the bottom of it!
Don't worry, it's cool!
It's really what's supposed to happen.
This is something else.
Oh, it's Garth!
Wooooow!
I need you to boop on this camera!
A boop?
On the camera!
Wwwoooow!
Wow, it'll be the loop of...
Yes!
Oh wow! Yeah!
Wooooow!
Woooow! Wow! Woooww!
Wowoowww!
Hiiii!
Today's menu item is: meerkat!
I know, I've been drooling all the time!
You know the scared ones taste the best!
Look at how tasty that one looks!
I think it's making its own garlic butter right now!
No, that's hyenas.
Speaking of garlic butter...
No hyenas!
Hyena-free zone!
See?
Can't trust a hyena!
[rock guitar plays]
Free biiiird!
No stairway to heaven!
Fantastic, who are you?
I'm Rashoni, the rock'n'roll dragon!
Indeed you are!
I'm doing a show at 3 today!
Excellent!
Rock the Nineties!
Nice! Do you play "Puff the magic dragon"?
Noo...
That's before your time.
So what are you doing here at the ba-a-a-a-a-aaaar?
What's that, a Cuba-a-a-a-ah Libre?
Actually, that looks more like a sheep drink!
The aroma!
The smell!
We have fresh chocolate,
and we got the
IKEA notice so you know it's fresh
From IKEA, jaja!
Swedish cookie!
Everything has umlauts,
you see the chocolate bits have umlauts,
there's umlauts on the umlauts.
And this is American fish!
American fish!
That's why it's white?
Yes!
Oh god!
No! I mean....
Aaaaaahhhh!
Oh no!
These are not memories meant to be in motion!
I'm claiming that nose!
I need that for myself.
'cause I collect noses.
My nose.
Nuuuuhhh.
Yes, it's mine!
Nice nose. My nose!
My nose!
Keeping that nose!
Keeping it!
My nose!
My nose! My nose!
Aha! Aha!
Oh yes!
My nose!
Oh noes!
OK! My nose!
What'cha gonna do, eh?
Uh oh...
RAAAAHHHRR!
NOM!
That's a nice nose. It's better.
Better than yours. Keeping this one.
Okay, my nose!
Woof!
My nose!
*whine*
I'd take that nose but it smells.
My nose!
My nose! Nooo!
My nose! Nooo! My nose!
My nose! Nooo! My nose! Nooo!
My nose! Nooo! My nose! Nooo! My nose!
My nose! Nooo! My nose! Nooo! My nose! Nooo!
My nose! Nooo! My nose! Nooo! My nose! Nooo! My nose!
*whiiine*
Nooo!
Nooo! Yes!
Nooo! Yes! Nooooo!
Nooo! Yes! Nooooo! My nose!
Oh! My nose!
Rarrarrr!
My nose!
Waff!
My nose!
Waff!
My nose!
Haha, blue-a-doo!
Man, I'm not ready for the camera yet
Noo, hey, no,
you have a BBF sticker, that's new tho!
Man, Saturday again,
another MCFC, I mean
I'm still drinking heavy but
not gonna talk about that, gonna keep it
easy but...
I'm gonna lay down actually, I'm...
Yo!
Already?
That's the kinda part you did already
It's MCFC 2017
No no no....
My nose!
Rrraahhhh!
Told you yesterday, it's mine now!
I can loan it back to you.
Oh hello!
My nose!
Ohnonononono!
Get your shit away from here!
Nononono!
you fucker get no... no! No!
No!
NO!!
Get outta here with that!
Meow. Meow meow mow mow meow!
Nanananah..
No! Don't you encourage him!
No, no....
Hahahah!
Keep the camera, I have the nose!
Off to the pawn shop, guys!
AaaaAAhhhhHHhhh!
I can't win!
I just won, I got the nose!
Also, this is totally not my camera!
What?
That's actually Tillikum's camera, mine is upstairs!
Oooh!
No, no, no...
How do you say "Stop" in German?
NEIN!
That's "no".
Oh feck it,
Nein! Nein!
Touchy fishy?
No! No!
Touchy fishy?
No touchy fishy!!!
Touchy fishy?
I'M NOT A GODDAMN FISH!!!
Touchy fishy!
What's going on here!
He's taken.... you touch my wallet there!
I ... it...
You can have my wallet.
No way!
You get all my stuff in there and now
you're gonna give me the loot back!
Anyway...
You got busy fingers, don't you!
Can't trust these blue fo...
Wait a minute, I'm a blue fox!
So....
You're gonna make a Gideon Grey I can wear?
I'll bring my own pies!
They're waiting for the time
to get in here to have dinner!
[Kage pretends to speak Japanese]
Guys, give it up for Tien Long!
[Audience yells]
What is wrong with you today?
I'm...
It's the blue tongue!
Okay, now, audience:
Don't dick with me:
Is my tongue blue?
[Audience yells]
I've just been drinking fucking sake!
Is my tongue blue?
HOLY SHIT!
The German just said "Holy shit!"
Which is, "Heilige Scheiße" and
deutsch!
I think you see it better on this:
Oh, aah...
FUCK!!
What's in this shit??
Blue.
I got U blue!
I got U blue.
Hey bitch, wanna stick?
Oh, speaking of blue...
Hellooo...
It's one of my "STUFF!"
Crew... or staff...
The stage has gone as blue as Kage's tongue.
Okay, do you know Rhapsody in blue?
Isn't that what United do in their safety video?
Nooo, never mind!
Actually, that would've been great!
They put blue light on,
he sticks out his tongue, it's red!
It's just where we're at now.
It's like welcome to the Yeeaahhhh!!!
Yaaaaarrrgh!
Well, I'll remember that while I sleep tonight.
Sorry, just BBF, hey...
Let's have Germany, right?
[acoustic rape of the German anthem]
...für das Deutsche
Vaterland...!
Ich habe Wein hier I have wine here
und ich bin and I'm happy
glücklich, mein Wein my wine
ist besser is better than
Deine Wein! your wine!
Is that invading us?
Shhhhhh!
We're all friends now!
I'm not friends with anyone,
I'm a comedian!
We need a final solution. we... oh...
Weelll....
Sorry, sorry...
Please don't hit-ler me!
Oh sorry, my bad!
Deep breath, deep breath!
Okay... America!
America!
[drunk rape of "America The Beautiful"]
We kinda fucked up...
We need the words...
Sometimes we wish we could go back in time
Doctor Who.... wait what....
[in the meantime, there's more molesting of a patriotic American song...]
And frown my good with brotherhood
from she too.... shining.... sea...
[The editor of those subtitles
no longer takes responsibility
for the correct transcription
of the drunk mumling of those
folks on stage. As a matter of fact,
the editor was drunk as he
wrote these subtitles... and he drank for a reason!]
This is normal, we're sorry,
we are really drunk!
I don't know how... how I did....
Did you just walk around the convention with
that for the rest of the con?
Can you get us the star splangled banner?
Spar spang ban...
This is a song about
a Mexican guy
trying to get across the border
Perfect!
Gimme the music okay?
[not-at-all alcohol induced version of "Star Sprangled Banner"]
What so proudly we've hailed
by the twilight's last gleaming
That's the light gleaming off of the
badge of the border patrol
For the laaaaaand of the
help me, it's falling off the stage!
And the home
oh god, it's stuck!
help me!
The braaave!
Can we take this out?
[piano covers up the random mumbling]
Murrica.
He's free, we're good.
You know, when I was at Eurofurence
many many years ago, I asked
never mind, it's not going away.
THIS IS GOING AWAY.
I had a talk
The microphone stand is so drunk...
..oldest friends in the world, hello BBF, I haahaad
I gave a talk called
"The ugly American".
or: why the rest of the world thinks we suck!
I totally thought you had a panel about me when I was....
Ohnononononono!
I had a talk, this was...
eh, it was...
it's EF 10?
When you were young!
Fuck you. Yes, when I was young.
Basically, the ugly American...
I wanted to know why all these folks at EF
thought we sucked!
And I asked them.
Ladies and Gentlemen from across the world,
why do Americans suck?
and one of them
he was, he had a French accent,
he said:
Why are you always
exporting your
way of life and trying to tell
the rest of the world how to
live their lifes?
I said, that's a good question.
Do you speak German?
He said: No.
I said: YOU'RE WELCOME!
Forgive me for
exporting my way of life
on you!
This is gonna be the Fox and Pepper show
where I am more drunk than Pepper!
This is gonna be the first ever time!
Probably announce as well,
that Pepper is officially going to
Eurofurence as well!
I've been wrangled into attending Germany!
He was threatened, I mean wrangled!
...into attending....
... we gonna storm the beaches of...
Is Normandy in Germ... no?
Germanycon!
German... where the fuck is....
What country is Normandy?
Hey everybody!!
This is Larry
and it's his birthday!
[applause]
[people sing birthday song]
Again with the fucking camera BBF?
Do you ever stop?
You ever think that people maybe
don't wanna have video taken of them?
Oh, the fucking light!
Why are you doing this to me?
I'm not even able to just sit....
Yeah, there you go, look at this, a hyena!
Fuck!
There's fuzzies out!
Fuzzies!
Fuzzy fuzzies!
Look at the fuzzies!
Those are fuzzies.
I'm not fuzzy!
This is not a fuzzy face!
These are fuzzies!
You're not a fuzzy but you play one on TV!
Now eat it!#
Bork bork!
Borkbork!
I have a Wookie chair!
Mama told me there'll be days like this.
Bang bang bang!
Wait, I gotta reload, hold on!
Reload, reload!
Gosh...
No!
Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold
I know, I can't...
My mother said you sticky thingie blue!
Don't... fox, wolf...
Oh wait, sorry, I got mesmerized!
One more time
honestly,
this time around,
it's not the biggest,
but you know what, it's always
and forever will be the most homiest con
I'll ever be to.
I've got the greatest
friends, the people I love
I have Calico,
Jin, I've got Silver, Tyzen,
I got Rayne, Savage,
I got Corey, Cortax, I got blue,
I got the whole party, I got everything!
What more do I need, man!
I'm Tillikum and I approve of this message!
My name is Xzadfor
and you're watching BBF!
Oh my god!
The Dutch Oven Dragon!
Next time, pay the 5 bucks for the pupils!
Yeah, I'm looking at you, too.
I'm just trying to make you stay in the way
and block everything.
It's working!
Xzadfor!
I just walk in the door and who do I run into?
Glad to see you, my friend!
Oh, that's a first!
Guess what, do you like French food?
Look at this!
Two of them!
That wasn't in the contract!
71...
Oh look at you.
72... I like to count. 73...
Hah hah hah!
78!
74...
71!
75...
79!
76...
77...
I'm that guy...!
It's the drunken tornado and its
mural...
Ceiling Pandez is watching you!
Sparky Bluefox's dick is so big
it still has snow on it from wintertime!
His dick is so big
it has its own opening act.